#stopppp I feel so self conscious about these

[drblacula]

can you do Sunday and Argenti layouts?

:3 < sunday ++ argenti layouts !! psd creds + Sunday art by @ / renjianshilian0 on twt .

[wandering-mo0n]

Love Log 06 💖:

18+ Content up ahead.

“Would you mind laying on your stomach for me?” It seemed so out of nowhere that Dick would just randomly ask that out of Jason, but he supposed that the air was just right to do so.

They had been sitting on Dick’s sofa, with Jason half paying attention to whatever was on TV at the time and Dick had his head on his lap. It was nice, it was calming and Jason even went out of his way to pet his hair.

It’s not really like Jason had meant to get an erection from such a simple thing. He didn’t even really get why it happened- Maybe it was the fact that they were touching and just so happy and so close that started it all? But that seemed stupid, and only something a kid would admit to.

“Uh-” He stopped himself from coughing as he wondered to himself about what Dick had exactly wanted to do with him, “Yeah, sure.” He said instead, putting his trust in him.

The movement made the couch dip a bit due to just Jason’s sheer weight (like that wasn’t going to cause a guy to be self conscious), and of course Dick moved gracefully. He smiled at him and even gave a wink before Jay found himself looking at the wall.

Before he could get himself even the slightest bit cozy, Dick’s hands were on his ass- Groping and massaging it like he never did anything like before in his life. Jason wasn’t used to being touched like that, but fuck… It felt so nice. It felt like he was wanted and he would even dare say needed by him.

He was a little embarrassed by how quick his hip rolled and pressed against the sofa’s cushions, but he was pleased with himself over how quiet he had been.

“God…” He heard Dick sigh, so desperate and sounding… Aroused. Holy shit, he was doing that to him, “I have no idea why you hide yourself, Jay… Your ass, it’s so… So…”

A light slap echoed across the living room, which caused Jason to finally let out a gasp. He couldn’t make a comeback, he wasn’t even thinking. All his thoughts circled around Dick and just how turned on he was for him.

It made him feel like the color pink, which he knew sounded weird and certainly not arousing, but that was the best way he could describe it.

“And it jiggles!” Dick let out a loud laugh before he went back to kneading his bottom. Man… If Jason thought he was hard before…

He bit onto the cushion, groaning just a little before turning his head over to get a better look at Dick (the menace that he was being), “Okay, where’s this coming from?” He just had to ask.

His boyfriend just gave a little smile and fluttered his eyes, seeming like he was trying to come up with the best words to describe how he was feeling, “I don’t know. I just get told that I have a cute butt often, but… I just never really thought so. And sometimes I just look at you- And I just.” He bit his bottom lip and grinned even more, “I just look at you and I can’t help but think you’re stunning. Like, you have such nice legs,” He explained as he gripped them tight.

He trailed one of his hands to rub against his fully erect dick, “You’ve got a great package,”

Jay snorted at that, then gasped a little when Dick flicked it before going back to his heavy petting session.

“And your chest, it’s… Fuck Jay, if I had met you at some kinda bar or gym, I would have been begging in my head to suck your cock, been down on my hands and knees kind of begging,”

Jay couldn’t suppress the goosebumps from the praises he had been receiving. Was he honestly as hot as Dick was hyping him up to be? He felt childish for doing it, but all the praises that Dick was singing to him made him grind on the sofa just a little.

“Stopppp,” He dragged out, “You’re the-”

“Ssssh, Little Wing,” Dick whispered as he pressed his whole body against Jason’s back, and holy fuck- He was hard, he was hard over Jason, how? How, how, ho-

“If you keep putting yourself down to lift me up while I’m lovin’ on you, I might just have to gag you,” He growled, and as hot as that did sound at the time, Jason wasn’t exactly into gagging.

So he shut up and felt Dick start to rut against him as he felt Dick’s hands run through his hair (thank God he remembered to wash it the night before), “You’re so beautiful,” Dick gasped as he started to rut harder, which made Jason feel all the warmer, “There’s a small part of me that wishes the world could just see how beautiful you are, but then there’s another part of me that is happy they’re so… So,” Now he was just full on tugging Jason’s hair as he grounded himself harder, “They’re so stupid, ‘ya know?”

Sometimes Jason forgot how similar their thinking processes were. Whenever Dick would say something like that, with a growl, it would shock him. It also surprised him over how hot he thought it was that it was Dick of all people saying this.

About him.

To him.

“It’s Me that gets to see this, it’s me that gets to know how stunning you are, it’s me that,” A moan and Jason just knew he was leaking through his pants from the way Dick’s breath went through his gritted teeth, “It’s ME that gets to do this,”

Jason felt pathetic as he let out a little whine.

“Oh, you like that?” Dick asked, sounding a little more grounded as he ran his fingers gently along Jason’s back, “The idea of me being the only one who gets to see my precious boy like this?”

Fuck… All this teasing, this praise, the way Dick loved calling him ‘His’ and making him feel so… So… Small and fragile and desired, it was making Jason feel dizzy and desire, “Yes… Yes,” Jason nodded, feeling almost helpless in ways he would’ve hated if it had been anyone other than Dick doing this to him, “You’re so hot like this,” Jason muffled out to him as he pressed his face against the cushion and rubbed his ass against Dick’s cock.

Dick let out a light laugh and placed both his hands on Jason’s hips as he squeezed them, “You really think so?” He hummed, “You’re cute.” He told him as he kissed the top of Jay’s head, “And your hair smells good,”

“Uh… Thanks?” Jason snorted, “I washed it last night,”

“Mhhmm, adorable,” Dick kissed his jaw as he went back to rutting hard against him. It was done with such passion and strength that between Jason’s weight and the fact that the floor was hardwood, it didn’t surprise Jay in the slightest bit that he could feel the sofa move a little.

“I love you,” Dick said.

It was so out of the blue, and while Jason had been told that plenty of times prior to this by Dick himself, it always made Jason feel so vulnerable. So loved, so needed, so wanted.

Feelings that he still wasn’t used to.

It was so hard to say it back even though he felt the same way, “Dick…” Was all he could vocally muster up.

“I mean it too, Jason. I love you, I love you so much,” He emphasized as he dug his fingertips into Jason’s hips and moved faster. He was going out of pace and it felt like it was finally desire taking over his boyfriend’s body, “Loved you before you could even knew,” He whispered that last part (and once more made Jason wonder how much of it was toward him or it was just Dick talking to himself).

“I-” He needed to really hide his face now, “I feel the same- For you… About you,” He tried to explain, hoping that Dick would get it, “I see the way people look at you and it hurts,” He admitted, knowing that Dick hated it when Jason showed just how insecure he was, “But then I realized that it’s me.”

Dick paused for a moment, just to let Jason finish his thoughts, seeming to calm down just a little. His breathing was still ragged, but it felt like there was so much love in the air between the both of them.

“It’s me that you chose and it’s been me for a long time, hasn’t it?” Jason asked, curiously looking over his shoulder.

Dick’s pupils were blown and his breath hitched a little, but he was still mentally sound enough to say, “Yes. It’s been you for so. So long.”

[futurehunt]

Hiii I’m commenting here instead of ao3 because the keyboard on ao3 for whatever reason hates my phone and freezes all the time and it’s a pain 😅anyway, just wanted to say how much I’m loving a court of shadows and ash 💕 I get so excited whenever I get a notification that you’ve updated that I literally abandon everything I’m doing just to go read it 😂 I loved your latest chapter and the complexities you’ve managed to capture between Eris and his father was . How you managed to make me feel BAD for Beron is insane and it can all be attributed to your beautiful writing! I can’t believe there are only a few chapters left! 💕

Stopppp this makes me giddy to read 😭 Any time I'm feeling remotely self-conscious about my work or writing, an amazing person like you manages to turn my day around and make it wonderful. Thank you for following along with my story's journey, it means the world to me ♥️♥️♥️

ilyilyily, hope you have the most blessed day/night ever 🫶🏼

[muichu]

okay okay hear me out, draken and his boyfriend who has really bad self esteem issues and one day draken calls his bf pretty boy and his boyfriend gets so overwhelmed cause no ones ever complimented him before and just starts crying and then draken starts freaking out cause his bf is crying and now has to console his sobbing boyfriend :)

a/n: STOPPPP THIS IS SO FUCKING CUTE???? I LOVE THIS CONCEPT!!!!

Draken w/ self conscious boyfriend

Pairing: draken x m!reader

Warning: low self esteem :(

Genre: light angst, comfort, fluff

Word count: 403

You had plans to hang out with your boyfriend, Draken, for the day. You were getting ready until you noticed your reflection in the mirror. Oh god, here we go again. A sigh left your lips as you moved closer, examining each part of your body, pointing out everything that you didn't think looked good. You could feel tears welling up in your eyes. You really didn't wanna cry, not now, not today. We're supposed to have a good day with Draken! How can we have fun when we're feeling this way. You continued to stare at your reflection, failing to notice that your boyfriend has walked in.

"Y/n? Why weren't you answering my calls? Are you okay?" Draken says as he walks over to you, noticing your intense gaze in the mirror.

"Are you not feeling well?" he asks with concern. "It's fine, don't worry about me" you say with a sigh as you turn around to face him. He brings you into a hug, moving your head so that it rests on his shoulder.

"You're my boyfriend, of course I'm gonna worry. I love you" he says while rubbing your back soothingly. He rests his face on top of your head, his fingers begin playing with your hair.

"Mm my pretty boy, so pretty" he mumbles, his head still resting on top of yours. Hearing him say that unravelled something inside you, something you've never felt before. Tears once again started welling up in your eyes, but for a different reason this time. It felt like the dam that was holding the huge waves of your insecurities began tearing apart. Suddenly, you burst out into tears, accidentally startling Draken.

"Y/n? Are you okay? Did I do something wrong? What happened?" your boyfriend babbled in concern. You just kept crying and crying. You don't know why, it didn't seem to stop, no matter how hard you tried. Draken on the other hand was freaking out. Did he say something wrong? Did he overstep his boundaries?

After some time of Draken rubbing your back and consoling you, you finally managed to calm down.

"What was that about? Are you okay?" he asks softly. "It's just... I'm not used to being complimented, no one has ever called me pretty. You're just so amazing and perfect and hearing you say that I'm pretty really makes me feel amazing and happy" you explain through light sobs. He grabs your chin and tilts it so that you're looking up at him. He then captures your lips in a soft, comforting kiss. It lasts for a few seconds before he pulls back and brings you into a hug.

"You're so beautiful, so so so pretty, and I'll be here to remind you whenever you need. I'm so glad to have you in my life, you're perfect and incredible just the way you are. You're my beautiful boyfriend". He says as he continues to rub your back. You smile as you lean into his touch, smiling because of how loved and protected you feel.

"Are our plans for today still up?" he asks. You nod and he releases you from his grasp. The two of you head out of your apartment, feeling giddy and happy for the day to come.

a/n: this was so nice to write, draken is so sweet I love him

navigation

[floralseokjin]

final sleigh drabble #3

❛ Seokjin has an idea…❜

original oneshot here // drabble index here

kim seokjin x reader  smut, oral (female receiving) 2,409 words 

Seokjin noticed Ana trailing into the kitchen first seeing as you were too busy nosing through his cupboards in hunt of something for brunch. “Good morning, or should I say,” he glanced at his watch. “Ten minutes to midday.” 

“Morning,” your best friend greeted, tone unenthusiastic. “Do you have any coffee?” 

“I made some not too long ago. It should still be hot enough.” 

You joined Seokjin who was leant up against one of the counters, watching Ana grab two mugs from the draining board. “What time did you two wake up?” She asked, looking in your direction. 

“Too early. Seokjin snores.” 

“Hey, no I don’t!” He exclaimed. “Y/N kicks in her sleep. I’m surprised I’m not black and blue.” 

Ana chuckled, rubbing her sleepy eyes. “You get used to it.” 

Folding his arms, Seokjin suddenly looking curious. “Where’s the sex god himself then?” 

As Ana poured the coffee, she immediately looked unimpressed. “Are we just going to pretend like you two weren’t up to no good last night too?” 

“Up to no good?” Seokjin repeated, turning to you with judgement in his eyes. “Why do you guys speak like you’re middle aged?” Before you could think to whack him, he was talking again. “Anyway, I have no idea what you’re referring to. Y/N and I played monopoly and were fast asleep by 11pm.” 

“Sure, now who’s middle aged?”

You couldn’t help but laugh at that. “No, but really, where is Yoongi?” 

“In the shower. He asked for coffee.” 

“And you’re just going to get it for him?” Seokjin snorted. 

“I wanted some too.” 

Tutting, Seokjin pushed himself off the counter. “He’s got you wrapped around his little finger already. Watch him, he may be small but he’s dangerous.” 

With a scoff, your best friend looked your way, grabbing the two mugs. “I can’t believe you’re fucking him, Y/N.” 

“Me neither.” 

Her parting words as she left the kitchen caused chaos. “No wonder she calls you dick cheese.” 

“Dick what?!” Seokjin roared in disbelief. 

Great, thanks for that, Ana... 

.

.

You spent the rest of the day at Seokjin’s place, watching lame Christmas movies on his sofa. You hadn’t brought fresh clothes, not expecting to spend the night so Seokjin had loaned you a pair of his boxers and sweats (drawstring pulled as tight it could go around your waist), plus a t-shirt, which was painful ill-fitting, but it beat your laddered tights... Ana had gone home a couple of hours ago, her and Yoongi awkwardly saying goodbye to one another as you and Seokjin watched in amusement and then soon after that Yoongi slipped out, meeting his Aunt’s family for dinner. 

Seokjin soon made use of an empty house... Right now you were stretched out on top of him, moulded against his body, your lips swollen and sticky from too much kissing. “Seokjin,” you whined lowly, needing to catch your breath.

He grunted, leaving a trail of wet kisses down your throat instead. “Mmm. You’ve made me hard again.” 

You swore this man had bountiful amounts of energy. You were still a little stiff from last night (and this morning) but grinding down on his crotch like you couldn’t help it (you couldn’t) heat pooled between your legs. “Do you want to head to your room?”

He pulled his head back and grinned impishly. “I have a better idea. Sit on my face. Right here.” To emphasise his point he slapped your ass with both hands, bumping you into his crotch again. 

“No way.” 

He frowned instantly. “No way to the sofa? Or to face sitting in general?”

You let yourself think. It was mostly the sofa situation, but the idea of just blatantly sitting on his face did make you a little self-conscious... Then again, there wasn’t really a reason to feel nervous with Seokjin. “The sofa.” You decided. 

His face lit up. “Ah, so you want to ride my face then. Dirty, dirty girl.” He wrapped his arms around you before his hands reached between your bodies to cup your boobs. You didn’t have a bra on, your nipples were so hard they practically stabbed him. 

“Get off,” you grumbled, cheeks reddening as you struggled to free yourself. He was not getting a rise out of you. “Why do you want me to do it so much?”

He wrapped his arms around you again, but loosely this time, looking up at you as if you were stupid. “Because it’ll be fucking hot!” 

You snorted, but you had to admit the way he was so enthusiastic about it was a major turn on. 

“I’ve been imagining it ever since I ate you out at work.” 

That too. 

He squeezed you and leaned up to kiss your mouth. “Death by your pussy seems an excellent way to kick the proverbial bucket.” 

You couldn’t help the smile that slowly grew on your face. “Would I go to jail for that?”

He audibly thought about it, humming loudly before he decided. “Second degree murder, I’d say.” 

“Oh, my god,” you snorted.

“Are we doing this or not?” He whined. “Because now my I could knock a hole through the wall with my dick and I’m drooling.” 

You raised an eyebrow. “You got turned on by the thought of me suffocating you with my pussy?” 

“Eyy, she’s learning,” he grinned up at you. “I’ll get you to say cunt by the end of the year.” 

“Not seriously you won’t.” 

You reached for a kiss this time, his mouth dropping slightly so your tongue could meet his, and you clutched your fists to the top he wore – an evil purple and grey striped thing that stuck to the outline of his chest. You were done for. 

Breaking away, his eyelids were heavy, voice all a deep, a serious whisper. “Sit that hot, wet cunt on my face, Y/N.” 

“Stopppp,” you whined, whacking his chest and he huffed out before breaking into an annoying fit of giggles. You did not find him very funny. “Let’s go upstairs.” 

He clung to you as you tried to get up. “Yoongi won’t be back yet. We’re safe.” 

“But–

“You’re going to make me walk all the way upstairs with this in my pants. It’s weighting me down. I already did it once last night, it was exhausting.” He moaned. 

He was so dramatic. But you didn’t need much convincing. “Fine.” 

“Yes. Finally!” He exclaimed, letting you go so you were able to strip off from the waist down. You were like a woman possessed when it came to Seokjin, fighting with the drawstring of your borrowed sweatpants in a bid to get naked as fast as possible. 

He took the time to reposition himself, resting his head against the arm of the couch for support. He watched you undress, eyes sweeping over your bare c-u-n-t, and he rushed you with his hands, gesturing you to climb aboard. “Sit that pussy right on my tastebuds, baby.” 

“I am seriously questioning my life choices right now,” you told him as you moved, pausing as your legs straddled his chest. 

He shrugged. “And yet you’re about to take a seat on this throne.” 

“None of what you’re saying is making any sense.” You couldn’t help but laugh. “How do you get girls at all?” 

His face fell serious. “Confession: I was a virgin before you.” 

“I don’t believe that for a second,” you scoffed, jumping when his hands cupped your bare ass, massaging warmth throughout your whole body, (and most importantly what laid between your legs). 

“Yeah, you’re right. I’m way too good in the sack for that to be believable.” 

Rolling your eyes you disagreed. “Way too full of yourself maybe...” 

He chuckled but didn’t indulge you any further, nudging you forward. “Okay, enough talking, more sitting. Take this pretty face for a ride.” 

Fighting back the urge to retort, you listened, straddling his shoulders, centimetres away from his face. You instinctively tried to obstruct his view, crouching over his body, which was pretty pointless. It did nothing. 

“Don’t be shy,” he said, although his voice was softer that moments previous.

You relaxed, concentrating on the way one of his hands curved the round of your ass, giving it an instinctive squeeze. His other hand moved towards your inner thigh, spreading you apart so he could tilt his head towards your heat. He inhaled, a low groan of pleasure rumbling from his throat and you tensed up immediately. “Stop sniffing me, you pervert.” 

He pulled back, all you could see were his eyes. “Says the one who’s groping me.” 

Huh? It took you a moment to realise one of your arms was behind your back, hand cupping his junk on its own accord. You went to pull away but he objected. 

“No, don’t take your hand away!” He took the opportunity to roll his hips into your palm, urging you to continue. He was painfully solid, you could feel him perfectly over his sweatpants. You could feel his breath against your core and it was quickly becoming torture. 

“Okay, Seokjin, come on!” You pressed suddenly. How come you were doing all the pleasuring? “You practically begged me to sit on your face and you’re not even doing anything!” 

“Patience,” he chuckled, his hot breath tickling you as he exhaled. “Besides, maybe I want to make you beg for it...” 

You would not beg. Nuh uh. Let this turn into a stand-off if needed. However as luck would have it, he was feeling impatient too, and not even a couple of seconds later he had a face full of vagina, his tongue curling out to spread your folds. It felt good, don’t get you wrong, but you couldn’t stop yourself from looking out of the window. You were not alone alone. If that made sense. 

“This is so wrong,” you whispered, voice quivering when his lips dragged along your clit, breaking away from your wet heat to look up at you. You couldn’t see his mouth, but the tip of his nose glistened with your arousal. 

“What is?” He asked, confused. 

“What if someone can see in?” Ten seconds ago a man with his dog had walked along the sidewalk. 

“Unless they walk into the yard and press their face up against the window at the exact, painfully awkward angle to look through the shutters, I think we’re safe.” He sounded impatient and you guessed he had a point... You were safe. Nobody could see you sitting on Seokjin’s face. 

“Now move a little,” he told you, pushing you forward by the ass, disappearing once again. “Make a mess of me, baby, I don’t care. I want to get dirty.” 

You mean, you couldn’t really say no to that... Could you? Not when he was so eager and willing. So you started grinding. You still felt a little awkward at first, the position way too intimate to what you were used to, but with the low groans escaping Seokjin’s throat your confidence soon grew, encouraged to chase your high. 

You bunched your borrowed t-shirt up in one fist, eager to see what was going on down there and as Seokjin suctioned his lips around your clit his eyes snapped up to yours. You moaned loudly, turned on by the visual, your hips rolling involuntary. 

God, you needed to touch him again. Eagerly, you leaned back a little, your ass settled against his palms as you still attempted to jerk into his mouth, tongue now busy flicking against your clit. You were still moaning, your fingers slipping in his sweatpants from behind, feeling the warmth of his hard cock. He grunted, lifting his hips up eagerly and you immediately started jerking him off. The angle was shit, your grip and rhythm uneven but it seemed to do the trick as he groaned against you. The vibrations were something else, and unable to stop yourself, you reached for the back of his head with the hand that had been clutching the t-shirt. 

You attempted to hold him there, rolling your hips all over him despite how messy it was turning. You were very wet by now – both your doing – so the squelching noises just added fuel to the fire. This was fucking sinful but so, so addictive. 

“Ngnnn. Seokjin–!” You cried, unable to keep jerking him off with the amount of pleasure coursing through your body. You were getting distracted, greedy for the inevitable. 

“Pleaseee.” Your mouth was also running away with you, begging shamelessly. 

Seokjin grunted, no time for words as he pushed his face further into your heat (if that was possible), neck strained as he tried to meet your angle, veins hard and prominent. He was so fucking hot it was unfair. 

“Oh, my... shit, oh.” You couldn’t keep up with the rapid flick of his tongue, chest heaving as you panted. Who cared about the window now that your orgasm was nigh? Not you! Just a little bit more and you’d cum. You gripped the roots of his hair, readying yourself. He moaned loudly, loving it. 

A... little... bit... more... 

The moan that ripped from your throat signalled the beginning of the end, your whole body tensing as you teetered over the edge. “Yes, yesss, Seokjin, I’m, nghh–!” You cried, voice breaking as pleasure exploded throughout your body, every nerve feeling alive. 

You rode his tongue until you couldn’t take any more, ripping away from him to fall back on his stomach, still panting like crazy. Sitting up slightly, he rubbed the back of his neck. “You did not make that easy at all. I’m sure I pulled a fucking muscle.” 

“Quit being a baby,” you chided. After all, he was the one that had practically begged you to sit on his face. (Not that there’d been much sitting...) 

He looked fucked out, cheeks rosy, smeared in your arousal, lips plumper than usual and the tips of his dark fringe were wet and curled. He looked insanely kissable, but before you could think to act, he was talking. 

“Care to help?” 

You frowned, unsure what he was going on about, until you felt his arm move against your hip. You looked over your shoulder, seeing his hand in his pants, the motion of the fabric moving up and down making it very obvious what he was busy doing... 

“Or are you just gonna watch me give myself a hand job?”

Now that sounded fun... 

Written 2020 - 2021. Please refrain from posting my work elsewhere. No translations allowed. © floralseokjin 2021

[ecotone99]

[RF] The passenger

“.. in these unprecedented times, the little things shouldn’t be taken lightly. these are the things that makes our lives happier...” the radio’s voice is interrupted by a loud static, as I drive through a long tunnel on the expressway. The static annoyed me a little, so I turn off the radio. I think to myself, Unprecedented-a fancy new word for the media to toy around with. As the tunnel ends, my view is engulfed with dense dusky clouds. The color of the sky is pitch dark grey & through the window I see a dark blue glow all around. Its about 7 in the evening, I put the car into cruise control as the next stop would be after 25-30kms. When I relax for a bit and look across the dark countryside fields have grown out to be into dark dense forest of old massive tress. Nature has a free pass on doing whatever it likes to ever since we humans stop interfering with it. It has been the longest 5 years since the virus broke out. Sure there have been vaccines and multiple variants of it for multiple type of patients. The cure did work, and thing stabilized a lot. Only after a whole year of economic despair for the masses. So much so that the people infected wouldn’t afford the vaccine, even at the subsidized rate. Government being government took too long to offer it for free to masses. They had their fat paycheck and used it as an essential tool for the elections. Then, gave it to the masses. However, it was too late by then… the psychological impact it took on the young generation was just too much. From forming cult’s that believed to virus was a cure for the nature’s freedom to resisting the vaccine and living a depleted life quality only as a protest against the world organization for making the vaccine too expensive. Sure, the people who remain sane through it all were the artistic people singing the best form of music they knew, painting the best portraits they ever could… It was irony as its finest form, as world went from needing lawyers, politicians, health origination to more self-focused institutions of living, exercise & art culture. Now, the Fields like IT, Security boomed only in terms of volume but not quality. They soon become the sheep’s herd where people did task of humongous data collection, aggregation and analysis to sell ads. Technology, cars & travel soon become the basic food & clothing standard, they were just an expense now rather than a field of profession and innovation. Times have changed a lot.

The toll arrives, I skim through the left lane as I take control of the car. As I drive past go ahead to make a stop at a nearby coffee store for refreshment. The clouds burst into a thundering rain. It hits the ground like a storm. Rain made sure the sun set earlier than it usually does. I wait for a while for it to stop so I could have some tea/coffee, but it only got worse …

The strong air wind current made the raindrops hit the car with such a intensity that the only sound I could hear was of intense drizzling. I decide to drive along before the conditions made it impossible to drive. I turn on the wiper, but it wasn’t enough. I barely moved a couple of meters before someone literally jumped into my car by opening the rear door. He dripped all over the seats and wore a black raincoat that went well along with its dark grey mask. I scream “hey!!! What the…” and my car brakes screeches loudly.

“Look man, I just need to reach the next toll, I have to work at night... its my shift if I don’t would lose my jobs… Please help me out!”

I put on my mask kept in my dash, I see around 7 messages notification before I could check it … I realized that I was stuck in middle of nowhere with a stranger. He continues

“I can pay you 500 bucks! Could you please hurry?”

“The next toll stop is of Satara around 167 Km away… I hope that works for you.”

I then drive away into the rains for next couple of minutes until a conversation break out: -

“So are you going on another workcation?” I ask him and feeling utterly foolish using the word workcation…

“Well yes and no, I believe no form of vacation involves any form of work. But this shitty corona virus has made the world a remote hub for working from anywhere…”

“I remember when I use to work for one of the corporations like you do…”

I continue “I absolutely hated from the start. It was my first job and I hated it since the pre-covid phase. As the pandemic hit us, my optimistic soul decided to free-lance…”

“We are all just free lancers of living life… we distracted our minds from living it into things like a good salary, a lot of work so we have an excuse for our poor morale and discipline…” he interrupts me...

“Hmm, that’s what I thought when I tried to clean, cook and work with a mouse and tablet in my other hand… until I tripped over the broomstick... dipped my machine in puddle of utensils and soap...”

“I thought nothing can be shittier than a 12-hr. shift and living all by yourself… until I eliminated the former and lived with the latter…” I conclude as I put my car in cruise control again…

“trust me if you don’t leave, you keep doing this life of work and personal work takes a backseat with no time for yourself. You end up running, your mind jogs but you don’t….” he replies

Our conversation is what the thousands of young adult’s face today. The saturated menial work but secure till retirement vs the life of exploring yourself. I choose the life of exploring myself and quit my job a year after the virus. My promotion was just due, but I hated every second of it. The first few days were peaceful. Then it was those slog days of life has no meaning to the days of hyper productivity machine. Reading novels every hour to exercising in the evening to the home chores. This cycle of enjoying then lying on the edge of my couch as the end of the world to living healthier … it continued for years and years…

I had exhausted all my savings, I tried to pursue singing in between those years but these days... singing was limited to online videos and pay to listen apps. I couldn’t make it any of them…

The rain didn’t slow down at all, it rained with same intensity. We cross a milestone which says 78km to satara.

Now, here I was after 5 years, giving an ride to just another employee of just another corporation. While I yearned to ace my interview tomorrow for another role to live for other few more years at some company called DSB….

My phone rings, as I reach for it, the passengers got scared to death. I looked at him as he shivers with fear like one would in this heavy rain. I ask him “What’s wrong?”

“Don’t pick it up, please!”

“It’s not a bomb!” I joked.

But instead of laughs,his faltered words and a bit softer voice starts explaining “ I didn’t got enough time… its not fair.. I should have the chance…”

“for what?”

The phone rings again…

This time I ignore the passenger’s warning and pick it up.

“Stop your car right now!” a girl screams through the tiny speakers of my phone

While my car sails on 80 km/hr. via cruise control, I ask “Why? What the fuck is wrong?”

The passenger now becomes totally uneasy and starts uneasy rolling rom left seat to right and back…

“trust me, it’s your Uniform Disorder”

“What?”

My head suddenly starts hurting as I see the passenger hitting his head repeated across the windowpane and repeating “You must not take the job ... you must not…”

“hello? Hello? Stop it !” the girl over phones repeats it

My head bursts into pain and anixety with so much chaos …

I scream “STOPPPP!” with all the energy I had in my voice.

The passenger stops but now he’s crying profusely and removes his mask. He looks an awfully lot similar to someone I have seen… until I realize he somewhat looks a lot like me... in my past life... in the younger years...

I just had to stop now…

I hit the brakes but it’s a little too much and little too late as the car skids to off road and crashes itself into a huge tree…

The airbags pounce in my face and the car crashes & breaks down…

I lie sub conscious for few hours with my face dug into the puffy air bag…

When I wake up, I see a scar on my forehead which bleeds and looks as if I tried to hit the window with my head.

I see the passenger standing out calmly deep into the woods surrounded by dark trees… the rain had slowed down too...

Strangely, despite the accident and all the mess I didn’t feel angry for a bit.

It was as if whatever he felt , would translate to how I would end up feeling. Uneasy backin the car during the school but calm now post the accident in these dense woods.

I Stepped out to talk to him, to understand why he did what he did…

He tells me “I hate my job, and I could stand a single second of it, I wanted to leave just like you… after I left the condition only got worse... I couldn’t find where my interest aligned… I smoked up all my savings on this car… then I had nothing to do or anything to pursue that interested me...

I felt like nothing…or no one in this world mattered. The loneliness made me lose my grip. I took therapy with my parents’ money... things got better I changed myself from a couch potato to a productive machine.

It still felt like a job to us ... you know? Reading , singing, writing , doing the same old chores again and again…

It just felt like doing what’s right... eventually they convinced us to become normal… and tried getting a job for us...”

“US? US? Who the fuck are you, why do u look like me?” I ask him puzzled as he sounded like me narrating my own life story….

“I told you it’s never enough time!”

A car rushes into the forest from behind, I look behind… it’s my therapist. She jumps out of my car. I look back out again to find the passenger missing… he was gone in a split second. It was like he wasn’t even here. I found myself in his black raincoat.

She panicked and started crying... as she sobbed while trying to patch my forehead wound with her handkerchief. She finally started speaking “the Schizophreniform Disorder is making you live your worst day again. Usually, I have stopped you when you enter the car but this is by far the most far you have gotten. The job that rejected you is of so many years back , when you visited Bangalore for an interview and drove for a whole day… Its okay you will get another job ... another interview will be aligned… we will toe your car then repair it and I will not inform anybody about this mishap”

She continues to cry “No one needs to know “

My phone rings again...I try to find it in the mess of my crashed car… it felled at the front co passengers’ seat with a cracked screen…

It’s an unknown number, I pick it up “hello? Who’s this?” I enquire

“Yea, its PLC technologies, we have an interview scheduled for tomorrow. It would be an telephonic interview. What time would be comfortable for you?”

I get a chill down my spine and my phone slips through my hand. I am shell shocked and all I could think about was the panicking passenger who said on loop “You must not take the job! Job!” Should I trust him? or this genuine therapist who has been trying to make me feel better ever since. Is this the new normal? or just the same old normal?

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Link: https://notyoureverydayblog258255348.wordpress.com/2020/08/22/the-passenger/

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