#stop using the gaydar on me pls

[ask-redsoldier-tf2]

Tee hee

Ur a

Homosexual

Soldier: What? You better speak louder than that, private!!

[jaegerisim]

Stranger Things charachters as quotes my friends said

Will: I shall defeat thee with the power of faggotry!!!! *flips board of monopoly*

Mike: The only thing gay abt me is that I like dick. That's it. That makes me 50% gay. so don't you dare call me gay!!! Call me half-gay.

(NOTE: he was not being biphobic. He was just being a homophobic homosexual. He is recovered, he has embraced 100% pansexuality)

Lucas: when my mama told me being poc was hard, this is NOT what I pictured!!!

Max: Just so you know, every time you call me a bitch, my ego inflates. 'Cause yeah, I'm a bitch and PROUD! Fuck you.

El: I think I'm the kindest person here, I'm calm, I'm sweet, I'm... *looks at Mike running away* YOU GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE OR IMMA WHOOP IT REAL HARD!!!! *throws a pink and glittery lit-up Skecher*

Dustin: *beatboxing* I'm a genius, yeah. I'm a prodigy, yeah. Am I the best? yeah. Do you guys suck? Most absolutely. *stops* Guys, you have to do the chorus with me bc otherwise, it sounds lame.

Erica: What I lack in height I compensate in bitchiness. Which means I am 4,92126 ft tall plus 4,92126 ft in attitude. So I'm taller than all of you suckers!!

Robin: *to Steve* You've grown on me, man. I think I love you even.... *gets on one knee and holds up a rainbow-colored, heart-shaped Barbie ring* Would you my platonically beloved do the honors of being my unlawfully wedded partner in crime? 'Cause this ring is STOLEN! *sobs* pls help me!!!

Steve: Why did your parents give you such complicated names??? Like, he'll nah! I ain't remembering all those shitty names. *pointing to The Party* from now on you'll be: shit 1, shit 2, shit 3, shit 4, shit 5 and so on and so on *looks at Eddie* and you are: my little beautiful ray of life, ily!! <3

Eddie: My shampoo? *puts manly voice* ALL IN ONE SHAMPOO FOR REAL MEN!!! IT WASHES YOUR HAIR, IT COMBS, AND YOU CAN EVEN USE THIS TO WASH YOUR CAR!!!

Nancy: *in a Stitch pajama onesie* ok, everyone, as the most mature person here I...

Argyle: *hits the blunt* yesterday i was thinking... and thinking... and thinking... thinking... And that was weird as hell, dude!

Jonathan: *high af* When my family told me I was gonna take care of my lil bro I did not expect this shit. Like, bitch, why you so complicated? why can't your problems just be that your tongue got stuck to a glue stick??? Like any other NORMAL person?

Murray: I have a perfect gaydar!! For example, I know my bf is gay!! See? Never misses!!

Joyce: *in an emergency* imma follow my zen book. Count to ten, ok. I can do that shit. 1... 2... 3... 4.... 5... 6... 7... 8... 9... 10... ok, now what?? WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I'VE COUNTED TO FUCKING TEN AND IM STILL STRESSED, HUH?? CHECKMATE BOOK!!! HAHA!! I WIN!!!! *throws book on floor and stomps on it*

Hopper: Where did my fucking life go?? Like, I had it here, and then POOF. gone forever.... Imma go and find it. COME OUT, COME OUT WHEREVER YOU ARE... YOU LITTLE SHIT!!

And I think I've covered most Stranger Things characters. If I've forgotten one tell me and I'll add them! :D

[quodekash]

this is me putting all the thoughts i had while watching star in my mind for the first time into one post, because originally i reblogged the same post over and over again adding new thoughts and it takes a million years to scroll past, so yeah. here they all are, in one place, and i can finally delete all of those posts. 

also, if you’re curious about the timeline, this was all posted on the 5th of march within 8 hours. and i had like a solid three, maybe four hours in the middle there where i didn’t have my laptop to watch it. so... yeah. 

anyway, press the keep reading if you dare, good luck. 

finally binging star in my mind, wish me luck

#technically i can only watch a bit of it cos im going out in a little over an hour#but im starting it and i might get super invested and finish it tonight

— -

WINNY??? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?? I DIDNT KNOW HE WAS IN THIS ONE

— -

*asdf voice* hEy! you two should kiss! 

— -

THIS INTRO IS BEAUTIFUL OMG

i already know im gonna cry watching this

gosh darnnit

— -

S A T A N G

ILY SATANG

WITH ALL MY SOUL

GJRGNKTRHTUIOHUTH

#he hasnt even had any lines yet but im ready for him to become my favourite character

(this is future me here and, yes, past me, he did in fact become your favourite character) 

— -

no wait am i gonna get attached to these two

#i didnt ask for a side couple#low-key hoping they aren't actually a ship just for the sake of my mental health

(future me here again: THEY ARE BUT THEY ARENT AND I KIND OF GOT WHAT I HOPED FOR BUT ALSO WHYYYYYYY) 

— -

HI SATANG ILY

— -

at least one of them is a lesbian. surely.

#if theyre not canonically then they are in my mind because women

— -

SATANG’S CAHRACTER’S NAME IS SEAN AND I CANT STOP LAUGHING

#something about it is just so funny to me#funny in the same way that all the msp actors' names#you've got awesome names like gemini and ford and satang and captain#and then theres just. mark.

— -

PLS HIS SMILE IS SO FUNNY

did you just fracture your skull? :DD

— -

BRO I GET THAT YOU’RE WHIPPED BUT THERE WAS NO REASON TO GET THAT CLOSE TO HIM

— -

arE YOU TELLING HIM THAT BECAUSE YOU’RE JEALOUS??

#gosh darnnit im already invested in these two#at least the soundwin brainworms will have some company

— -

BECAUSE HE’S FREAKING JEALOUS I KNEW IT

— -

BRO YOU’VE ALWAYS GOT YOUR ARM AROUND HIM

— -

wHAT

THAT WAS FREAKING QUICK??

— -

“just when he appears to be drowning, the waves wash him to shore. he survives for a brief moment before the waves sweep him back into the ocean. no matter how hard he tries, he’ll never be able to swim well. he cant even resist these little waves. he just never can...”

BRO THIS MATCHES SO FREAKING WELL WITH MY SOUNDWIN WAVES-WIND ANALOGY THINGY THATS AWESOME also im crying

— -

HELL YES

what the flip does that mean

— -

NEVER FEAR, THE OISHI ICE TEA IS HERE

— -

hEy! you two should kiss!

— -

HE’S SO WHIPPED THIS IS AMAZING

— -

HIS FOND LITTLE SMILE- I CANT

— -

hEy! you two should kiss!

— -

“have you been my boyfriend before? how do you know im a sh***y boyfriend?”

IS THAT A CHALLENGE

ARE YOU ASKING HIM OUT

PLS LET THAT BE YOU ASKING HIM OUT

— -

BRO

AND NUEA IS SO FOCUSED ON DRAWING HE DOESNT EVEN NOTICE WHATS HAPPENING

BRIUGRUGRBGR I LOVE THIS

— -

is this an indirect kiss i see

— -

hey man you’re on the wrong bed

also THATS A REALLY FREAKING GOOD DRAWING OH MY GOODNESS HES SO TALENTED

— -

HE FREAKING KNOWS

(gaydar coming in clutch)

#side note: satang's dimple means literally everything to me

— -

friends, enemies, and everything in between, we have found our captain

— -

he knows what hes doing and i love him so much for it

— -

let the man ship in peace

also you’re wrong btw

— -

THE COMPETITION HAS ARRIVED

(hi, future me here again, im deeply ashamed with what ive said here, im pretty sure all of us were initially under the impression that fah was some kind of romantic interest. i didnt have the slightest inkling of knowledge that they were brothers, and knowing that now, id just like to apologise for, uh. this.) 

— -

he’s never backing down

— -

this is such a mood

— -

HAH

HAH

HAH

and sean pretending he didnt see anything is pure gold omg i love him

— -

CALLED OUT BY THE MOTHER

also welcome to part 9768 of Mothers I Would Like To Adopt Me Please

— -

HE’S SO WHIPPED I LOVE IT

also i love her

— -

IM OKAY IM OKAY IM OKAY IM OKAY

#maybe if i say it enough times itll come true

— -

GIJRKRKHBR SEAN SEEING KLUEN GIVE HIS FLOWERS TO NUEA IS FREAKING HILARIOUS JBEHGBRHRGB I LOVE HIM MORE THAN I CAN EXPRESS

— -

this show is as bad as merlin

every single character in merlin has had a crush on merlin, gwen, or both

every single character in this show has had a crush on nuea, kluen, or both

#mostly nuea but still

— -

ive just realised, we’ve reached the obligatory beach episode!

#yayyyyy

— -

HE’S SO ATTENTIVE GJRNHGBRHBG I LOVE HIM SO FREAKING MUCH

— -

IM CRYING HER REACTION IS SO FUNNY

— -

SEANS BIRTHDAYYYYYYYYYYYYY

— -

okay so ive finished the show now

final thoughts:

I LOVE THE SUNFLOWER THING RHJBFHRJB

theyre so happy and fluffy and sweet and cute and good vibes and ghfghgfbhf i love them

i cant wait to binge fah and prince’s show soon

IM SO MAD THAT THEY DIDN’T MAKE SEAN AND MAITHEE A CANONICAL COUPLE. THEY GOT SO CLOSE. THEY WERE VERY CLEARLY TEASING IT. ILL GIVE ALL MY EVIDENCE IF I NEED TO (i doubt i will tho cos someone definitely already has, im nearly a year late to this show lmao), BUT IT WAS SO CLEAR THE WHOLE TIME THAT SEAN IS WHIPPED. ILL FREAKING TAKE THIS TO COURT IF I HAVE TO

conclusion: that was a good show and i would probably rewatch it if i needed a short one to take up my time on a boring day, but it wasn’t quite as good as bbs or msp (but honestly what is?)

i did like it tho and im excited to consume fan content over the next couple of days

#its not gonna take over my life tho#not nearly as bad as msp or bbs in terms of brainworms#but i did enjoy the episode#im gonna go to bed now

— - 

wELL. that was exhausting. 

i managed to keep the tumblr spamming to a low as i got through the last few episodes, but thats only because i was spamming my friends. 

im glad ive done this, its been bugging me for a while 

okay buh-bye now, have a good day, if anyone actually read through this, uh. wow. i want to give you a hug for suffering through all that, jeez 

[stickers-on-a-laptop]

ep 46: well i am pissed at a kids show lmao

i thought the cat forest was an aquarium for a second, off to a strong start

THE WAY SONOZA GIVES ZERO FUCKS

executed changerion style or no dice buddy >hey look it's that moon that's a liar

"man....something's wrong with you" look in the mirror tsubasa-kun

tsubasa is like literally dealing with the same shit AGAIN with miho lmaooooooooooooooooooooooooo

rumi should kick tsubaba's ass methinks

tarou you're saying that like it means something!!!

ah EMPEROR penguins?

tarou is like literally just chillin lmaooooooooo

YEET

I LOVE YOU SONOSHI

of COURSE they're at donbura and kaito gives no fucks!!!!!!!!!!!

"sorry i am not in super gay love with the pheasant so no dice"

"well you see we are out of the loop you brain bitches"

imagine kaito just hit them with that tray like imagine

kaito @ shinichi: damn bro they're so gay tho he'd do it sorry your gaydar sucks

shinichi's voice dropping a whole octave when he's serious

OH FUCK OFF

s t o p

oh good fjdsaiofjdsaiofjsdiofjio

KAITO WANTS TO KILL SHINICHI DEAD

okay rumi kick his ass <3

hi moon that is a fuckin liar for some reason despite this not being a ship except for a yadda yadda scenario

get his ASS jirou!!!

s l i d e

OH NO NOT TIME FUCKERY NONSENSE

STOP TRYING TO KILL SHINICHI DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"uh for research" fjsioafjisdofjsdaoifjdsoiafjsidofjiodjisoa

gay ass sonoi spending all his money on oden

i love sonoshi so much i hope he gets changerioned if he's not gonna be shinichi's nouto

that wasn't the changerion spin sonoroku!

oh right the ring of forgiveness. just kiss tarou dummy

IT MEANS THE MOON IS A LIAR AND IMMA KICK INOUE'S ASS HOPE THAT HELPS

you're telling ME jirou!!! nothing makes sense indeed!!

we love us some NOT TELLING

hey it's where ankh hung hina

oh my god some explanations??

what the FUCK

INOUE WHY DO YOU HATE JIROU SO MUCH

this is a kids show!! we gaslit jirou for WHAT i ask?????????

LIKE THE SEA AND THE SKY TELLING YOU ALL THE CHECKOV'S GUNS ARE GOING OFF NOW

open her mouth dumbass!!

practical inubrother hi

oh sure NOW you wanna communicate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i am gonna throw hands!! sure! why not!

oooooooooh fun spin that let's see what the hell THAT does!

yoppy?

please imma cry!

ripping my hair out

ah cool it's the "be very extremely mean to jirou" episode

so like is miho gonna be okay or do we only keep natsumi or what

why are two out of six donbrothers gaslit to hell and back what the fuck

oh he mad doesn't he usually call him tarou

OKAY GAY BITCHES

airhorns are always funny

AND JIROU ISN'T THERE. FUCK OFF.

inoue it's 2023 pls let the ot3 be a thing somehow

uh oh crescent moon

back to the forest, i think (i hope)

JIN???????????

okay mostly i am angry at this episode!!!!!!!!!!!

DONBROS LIVEBLOG, AS COPY/PASTED FROM MY DISCORD

i did this like i was talking to my friend, so this is the "being friends with stickers' when she's watching something" experience

i think i'll put more thoughts in the tags, but don't count on it for every ep lmao

ep 1

21 years ago is 2001 sounds fake to me

wait i've seen this man--kao dake sensei

not even 20 seconds in and i get interrupted ;-;

moses, peach style (yes i know that's the story of mamotaro it's just that i'm jewish)

oh okay even the logo is rainbow for this one

dabbing in the year of our lord 2022

i have not seen miss silver girl anywhere ever who is that

five way back to back? oh this is going to be AWESOME

hello miss haruka i see TONS on you

fangire?

a kamen rider?

hello mr blue guy that gets shipped with the red

oi no nails on the chalkboard

a BOYFRIEND???

sorry mr boyfriend i do not remember you in zettai bl at all

she becomes a hero because of a spam ad nice

ATTACK OF THE KILLER SUNGLASSES

isn't this colorful??

hello kaito but i think without the adhd

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

gun!

cubes like zyuohger

okay mr red

bonds again? this IS zyuohger, go meet yamato

this guy is yamato 2.0

isn't that lily/the fourze teacher?

why translate mama as mommy what is the point of that

MORE CUBES AGAIN

i'm guessing this is the fourze school?

hell yeah ask and you shall receive

pfffffffffffffft thinking that mr blue man would be tarou

i like that this chooses when you're gonna fight

FJDSIOFJSIOFJDSIOAJOIA HE JUST KICKS HER OUT OF THE WAY

glasses and then glasses

mom i am watching donbrothers not thinking about how the trains and busses work in this damn country

pink dude

man cgi battles just annoy me like i am SURE i'll like this series but damn cgi battles are for the crossover movies and that's IT

FJDSIOFJSDIOFJDSIOAFJDSIOAFAIO I WANT DANCING LADIES TO ANNOUNCE MY PRESENCE AS I'M ON A MOTORCYCLE

"this one? no. no thanks"

kamen rider sentai

oh the first battle of these two let's go

reverse storm trooper aim

toei this is so much rainbow

man i have to remember zenkaiger gears? good thing i watched it

if you do a zenaki gattai and put "yo" imma "yo ho hoi"

kamen rider kick

is there no dancing song at the end AGAIN???

[sunsetserenade]

hi how was the movie? :]

okay now for byler. who do you think will have the most amusing reaction to mike and will coming out (as a couple)? any headcanons as to the person's reaction?

hope your day has been awesome!

hi hello!!! the movie was SO good. still sobbing actually <3 /hj

anyway!

hmmm… the most amusing reaction…

oh, this is easy. hopper.

he’s gonna be like “you’re telling me… that after all that effort i spent trying to separate you and el… you’re in love with someone else??? oh now i REALLY am gonna kill you, mike wheeler—“

i feel like, despite having no evidence yet to back this, hopper wouldn’t have any problem with the fact that either of them are gay. i feel like he’d take that fact very well actually. but being a shitty boyfriend to his daughter? mike better run for his life <3

next up, and more so for will, id say lucas will be the most shocked. again. nothing to back that with. but i feel like he’d be the type to just step back for a second and be like. “holy shit??? did i miss something?? i mean nice… but what???” dustin probably knew it would happen eventually honestly. but at the same time his gaydar is nonexistent considering he tried to be a wingman for steve and robin akdjskjdjs

but no yeah. all in all it’s gonna be hopper. he’ll walk past his soon-to-be stepson and give him a high-five, but he’s definitely gonna strangle mike <3 a bit hypocritical yknow? actually hold on hypocrisy isnt the word im looking for… ah. favoritism.

some headcanons, as requested:

as said, at first, hopper is angry

because he wants the best for el

he knew mike couldn’t be the one to give el what she deserved, but he’s also just very, very protective. understandable. the events of season 3 proved it too soon for el to know what love really is for herself

so hopper is still gonna be like. you guys went through all of that. and for what???

and mike and el are gonna just stand there like.. it’s okay. we talked it out. we’re good, we promise. pls don’t hurt us

but when hop talks to Will he’s gonna be like “im happy for you, kid. hey, look at me. love is hard. it’s gonna hurt sometimes. so just… talk to each other, okay? talk to each other” and gives him an unexpected pat on the shoulder

will stands guarded but nods intently because if anyone knows this, it’s him

hopper doesn’t stop staring daggers at mike for the next seven months whenever mike is at the hopper-byers residence

joyce has to calm down hopper so he doesn’t surprise mike with a sucker punch to the stomach

will thinks the entire thing is comical

thanks for the ask, ellie!! <3

[hcneylesbian-archive]

goddamn why am I so charming

[nighttime-tea-party]

Can you tell us a little bit about what would've happened with lolita au Sebastian and Ciel if the Undertaker hadn't caught them? You said you think about it a lot.

Hooo boy yes, I do think about it a lot. So much so actually that I could write a whole sequel in an AU to this AU. The problem is, I feel like I would sabotage my own ending if I wrote a companion fanfic. People never really like sequels, do they? And I do think that the ending to Ciel is the Right ending.

That Being Said,

Here’s what I’d do with a sort-of sequel in an AU where Sebastian would get away with it, you’ve opened Pandora’s Box and there’s a whole lot of stuff coming out of it now. Read at own risk of having the Ciel ending ruined:

Undertaker still confronts Sebastian, they brawl and Ciel steps in with his deadly letter opener, however, when UT is writhing on the floor, holding on to the dear life that he’s bound to lose anyway, the film containing the incriminating photos slips out of his pocket and Ciel takes it, hopefully leaving no further evidence to prosecute Sebastian.

Sebastian doesn’t believe in his luck and turns himself in for the murder he claims he’s committed, then writes the confession the same way we know it. When Agni learns that it was actually Ciel who killed UT to save Sebastian from being killed, he isn’t as convinced that it’s better to keep the authorities from finding out that Ciel did it, as he is in my “canonverse”, and he helps the boy to get someone to listen to his turn of events, so he won’t be sentenced. Maybe that’s because Ciel’s enthusiasm to prove Sebastian’s innocence isn’t limited by the fear of exposing his sexual offences.

Nobody posing a threat to Sebastian will see the confession that’s just been finished by the time it’s clear that there’s a good chance both Sebastian and Ciel will be exempt from any punishment, and in the end, Sebastian comes home again, gives the whole piece of writing directly to Ciel instead because he still wants him to know everything, and Ciel, well… he gets to explain his feelings to living, breathing Sebastian after all.

They start a diary together where they document recent events: one of them keeps the book for a while and recapitulates recent events to the other, then hands it back for the other one to write in, so this would be the form this story would be written in (see, that’s how much I think about it, send help pls)

Ciel continues to go to school with Sieglinde, they’re good friends and rumour at school has it they’re secretly a couple, but she keeps trying to press it out of Ciel that he’s actually gay, which he’s not quite sure he is but of course he can’t tell her he’s not interested in any girls because he’s in an illegal relationship with his stepfather.

He does tell her that, though, when he’s graduated from high school and leaves for Europe with Sebastian and he knows she can’t do anything about it anymore. And it feels liberating to tell someone from this position of power.

Ciel gets accepted into Oxford, just like in the original fic, but this time, he actually plans to graduate. Sebastian gets a job there as a professor, perhaps by blackmailing one of the people in power, but they don’t live together and do their best not to let anyone realise they know each other, much less are in a homosexual relationship since it’s the 1950s and this time, their relationship has the potential to not only have Sebastian but also Ciel imprisoned (or suffer electro shock therapy instead)(that’s a topic I never addressed in the fanfic because it’s actually terrible what homosexuals had to endure back then and I did not want to compare it to the problematic nature of Sebastian’s and Ciel’s relationship). Ciel takes on the surname Phantomhive again, so nobody will get the idea that they’re related either. Of course, despite all of that, they still meet regularly off-campus, and Ciel will write a thesis under Sebastian’s guidance, so they can be seen on campus without raising any suspicions.

Sebastian still loves Ciel unconditionally, feels very secure in their relationship, and encourages him to get to know university student life with all its social aspects, which means he isn’t even really jealous when some guy’s gaydar points towards Ciel and Ciel makes a show of flirting back for Sebastian.

Ciel thinks a lot about what it means that he’s really not a child anymore but Sebastian still loves him and is obviously also still very sexually attracted to him, and speculates on whether he has “healed” Sebastian from his perversions, and what made him that way in the first place, but Sebastian very soberly insists that he’s not healed, he’s just completely occupied with being in love with and desiring Ciel despite him being an adult now. It’s a topic that never really lets go of Ciel and he’s secretly a little relieved that they have no children/minors in their little world anymore (an so is Sebastian).

After years of adventures and misadventures at uni, Ciel graduates in the late 1950s and the two leave the UK for good and move into Sebastian’s inherited flat, which they have to clean of years of cobweb and dust and they refurbish and refurnish their new old home. Since in France, homosexuality hasn’t been criminalised since the late 18th century, and they both have reached a point where they have hardly any fucks left to give about what people might think of them, they don’t hide their relationship anymore, and Sebastian gets in touch again with old literary acquaintances to introduce Ciel as his beautiful and gifted partner, and in this circle of people, nobody really takes offence at that, someone references French author Colette’s bisexuality (mostly because I’ve recently watched the film about her starring Keira Knightley, I will admit that).

Ciel and Sebastian are happy with their life in Paris, they somehow manage to live off their writing and occasional other jobs like guest lectures. The 50s end, it’s the 60s now… I haven’t really thought much beyond that but everything always turns out for the best and Sebastian lives long enough to keep Ciel company for a long time. In all these years, they never stop writing their shared diaries.

Wow, thanks for asking, it felt great to share this for once. Also makes me wanna write it all even more… but luckily, I’m well-occupied with #wanderlust and my other hobbies and obligations, so it’s not like I have time to do that anytime soon anyway. Also, now everyone already knows what happens anyway, so even less reason to write it.

[secretagentspydetectiveninja]

And so I continue on my epic re-read of that nonsense royalty AU mixed with a teen movie except gayer-- uh, I mean, Misadventures

Chapter 6 here we go

I already remember that when I wrote this chapter I wanted to throw my laptop out of the window because it was impossible, so now I’m scared

Kim actually doing exercise in this fic was me directly calling myself out for lazing around all day

He tries to get out of detention by pulling the “but I’m a prince!” card ashfskdjhkf that won’t work on Lady Mendeleiev!!

Speaking of, I’ve had Ms Bustier called “Lady Caline” in this thing but Mendeleiev’s still referred to by her surname? Can’t remember what I was thinking tbh

Kim you dumb idiot, the nobles aren’t moving out of the way because you’re royalty, they’re moving out of the way because MENDELEIEV IS WITH YOU

Ohhhh my god stop accusing your own classmate of murder, I think Alix would have much more than a detention if she’d fricking killed someone

Sidenote: Alix did not deserve detention. The rules didn’t say anything about rollerskates so she did nothing wrong and this was very unfair

And there’s me showing off how much research on cobras I did lmao

...I’ll be honest, 90% of the reason I wrote this fic was because I wanted Kim to have to walk with a book on his head

goddammit you know when you notice symbolism in your writing that wasn’t there before? this fic is hecking doing it already. striking a BALANCE between being a stupid idiot and being a thoughtful goodbean is legit a running theme in this thing, and,, that’s,, their detention,,,sdskgkjf

I’m the noble who fell off the balancing beam. it’s me

Kim... I’m going to hit you on the head with that book I s2g STOP BEING A JERK

the symbolism gahhh I’m dying, he needs to be more patient and less reckless just like his life skjdhksjd sjdghbsjfhsk laksjflad

How did Mireille end up in detention, you ask? Simple. Aurore framed her. Those two have a real hecked up relationship in this thing and oh boy it’ll take a front seat in the sequel if I ever write it

well dammit now I ship Kim with Mireille I mean they held hands

“If someone doesn’t get over here to help me finish this stupid thing right now, I will throw this book at someone’s face hard enough to send their teeth into the back of their brain.” pls... alix... hit ME with the book I’m begging you

I’m. having an allergic reaction to Kim’s crush on Alix. I know what happens later in the fic and I’m already breaking out in hives

Chapter 7 is called “90% chance of death” which is an accurate statistic to describe the mortality rate of reading it

I MADE A NINO AND POTATOES REFERENCE OH MY GOD I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING BAD I EVER SAID ABOUT THIS FIC, IT’S PERFECT NOW

This reads like a game of Civilization and yet I hadn’t even played it yet at the point when I wrote this part

MAX W O W HAVE SOME FAITH IN KIM OKAY, HE’S A DICK AT THE MOMENT BUT HE’LL GET BETTER

And Kim stop trying to be tsundere, you’re so bad at it. everyone knows the real tsundere in this fic is Alix,

There’s me showing off about knowledge I learned on wikipedia again

“That would be the coolest way to die. Agonizing death by snake bite. I would love that.” Juleka you can’t just SAY that to Alix oh my god do you even know what happens in chapter 25???

Kim being good at archery is 100% a shoutout to Dark Cupid btw also he’s a sagittarius like me and I’ll fight you on this

Max just got bored and straight-up left the sports day lmaooo that’s the biggest mood

I can’t wait for chapter 60 where the Other sports day happens and it’s like the total inverse of this one

YES ALIX, GO OFF

she’s highkey lying. she cannot order someone’s execution, she may be a pharaoh but she really doesn’t have much power lol, she just pretends she does so people will let her do what she wants

only chapter 7 and Kim’s already crying over something dumb (aka the threat of being eaten alive by a venomous cobra)? nice

“I guess me suddenly storming in here and lowkey threatening to kill you may have been overboard” uh yeah, you don’t say?? he kinda deserved it tho lmao

I love how Kim’s all like “ayy there’s plenty of other cute girls at this school for me to fall for!” when the two people at school he falls for next are both BOYS

alright chapter 8 now baby, and yes the title “Chick???” makes perfect sense in context I swear

Oh here’s one of those boys already! Kim’s crush on Adrikins is so damn obvious I love it

The umbrella scene happened except with a parasol

the whole “you four seem to make a good group” thing was me thinking how Marinette/Adrien/Alya/Nino is a god-tier ot4

oh god I want to hug Nath

OKAY OKAY SO. Nath and Alix don’t make friends until like chapter 44 or something, but the reason she knew already that he liked Marinette was because Juleka told her in the snek scene earlier, and then Alix used this knowledge to force people into giving her chocolate

Alya your gaydar is so broken... almost none of the girls in your class are straight

I’m also going to hug Alix, I know what it’s like to be a confused baby aro -- in fact I was at the time I was writing this skdjfhksdjhgkjf

Kim’s homework was just me typing out a bunch of intelligent-sounding words I remember seeing in Crusader Kings II tbh

MAX YOU PRECIOUS GAY BEAN, GIVE IT LIKE 20 MORE CHAPTERS OKAY

ohohoho chapter 9 here we go

noooo Alya noooo don’t trust Theo!!! you’ll find out why in like chapter 47 but just!! don’t trust him!!!!!!

Alya I s2g... of course Marinette likes girls, she’s bi af

Chloe and Sabrina are wlw too... please fix your gaydar I’m begging you

same with Rose, good grief, she really does love Juleka omg

I love how I called the kingdom of Couffaine “mysterious” and “distant” because I hadn’t decided where it was yet, because I’ll have you know that for the sequel I’ve decided it’s the non-distant and non-mysterious Orkney Isles

Alya just knocks on Juleka’s door like “YO ARE YOU A LESBIAN?” skdjhkjsdhg I’m sobbing

No Alya, Couffaine isn’t a morbid kingdom, Juleka’s just really goth. Couffaine is just like how Scotland really is lol

Kim wtf you can’t just ditch Max like that good grief...

and there I go teaching the readers about geography, because that’s definitely what normal people talk about in their conversations

Alix’s ringtone is definitely a rickroll by the way

I love that these characters are in fact completely aware that they’re idiots who should not be in charge of a country, what they’re unaware of is all that precious, precious character development heading their way nyehehhehehe >:D

Look... I know I said I was having an allergic reaction but hugs with height differences are Very Important to me so just this once I’ll let it slide

Phew, chapter 10, and then I’ll stop because holy shoot I need time to process the ridiculousness of this mess

oh my god Kim literally burning the letters his parents send him in order to avoid his responsibilities is?? such a mood?? I’m basically doing that myself right now

This is the only time Emperor Gabriel even has any lines until like almost the last chapter lol

anD IT’S FULL OF FORESHADOWING OH MY GOD ADRIENNNNN

btw Chloe’s oracle question was “will I marry Adrien?” and of course the answer was no, so that’s why she was upset lol (idk what Marinette’s question was, I didn’t think of one oops)

more geography lessons!!!

Max being irrationally mad at Alix’s country having a higher GDP than his was inspired by him being mad about losing the gaming tournament to Marinette in the Gamer episode, by the way

Alix... is a reptile scalie I’m gonna regret saying that aren’t I

I love how her oracle question is literally just a stealth “I’m aroace, right?” and that makes the irony of the next bit so much funnier omg, poor Kim lmao I was so so cruel

(also I finally fixed that inconsistency... Fu said he was 186, but technically everyone in this fic is about a year or two older than they are in the show at the beginning, so he should be 187 instead)

Kim has just accepted that he’s going to die young by doing something reckless and stupid, that’s such a gen z mood wow

I’m genuinely losing brain cells because of Kim right now, I’m contracting the bubonic plague as I type, I’ve already lost 3 years off my life and so has Master Fu,,,, ask a sensible question you idiot

No Kim, it won’t be CPR, she really will kiss you, you’ll just know okay... now if you’ll excuse me I need to go bang my head against a brick wall for several hours

[browneyes-gentlesoul]

Alright guys. Guys. If you see 'me' posting or replying anything like 'there's only 2 genders stop being triggered' or something pls let me know. That is NOT me. My friends. That isn't me. My gaydar is broken. I cannot spot gays to avoid and now I'm stuck with a bad gay that uses triggered jokes and such and such.