#stop being an enabler! 😡

[spookylightwhispers]

stores here should stop selling sweaters because the temptation to buy is so strong, so strong, they look so comfy and cute and comfy, comfy and then you give in to the temptation and you buy it and then you delude yourself into thinking you can wear it and then you actually wear it and you spend the entire day internally crying because now you're just a soggy bag of sweat and you know what this isn't comfy anymore and you just want to teleport home and change into a plain, thin t-shirt because these comfy, comfy, cute little sweaters are not meant for this tropical, humid city jungle and then you go through the whole cycle once more

[thegreymoon]

The Story of Minglan

I probably won't be able to pull off a whole episode tonight but I. Must. Know 😭😭

***

The way she keeps begging her worthless father for even a crumb of acknowledgement that he had any feelings whatsoever for her poor mother, smh.

***

Oh, fuck you.

All he ever thinks of is his dick and his pride. I don't think he has ever truly loved anyone except for himself.

***

Oh, baby 😢

Why are you even still expecting anything from his worthless, selfish ass?

***

YES. SEE HIM FOR WHAT HE IS.

He deserves neither your love nor respect. Please stop crying because of him!

***

Ugh, this evildoer.

Don't worry, I have no doubt you'll eventually get yours too! 😡

***

Who?

What are the names of those two princes again? Yan and Yong?

***

I am suuuuuuper confused.

Are Consort Yong and Duchess Ying the same person?

(Also, finally! These Yan and Yong people appear! I have been trying so hard to remember these names because this drama keeps hinting they will be important.)

***

No, not the same, because Consort Yong is a princess, not a duchess, smh. Then what are they both wearing pink for? A little consideration for us face-blind people would have been nice!

***

So.... let me see if I've got this straight.

The Princes Yong and Yan are the current Emperor's brothers?

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Oh, wait, I just realized that this toxic gossip is Yanran's shitty younger sister!

I didn't recognise her in fine clothes, lol.

What the hell is her problem? She's still mad about being beaten at a game of polo?

***

Jesus Christ. Now she has the attention of these witches on her.

This is all Qi Heng's shitty doing. I hate him more than I can express 🤬🤬

And it's not just Minglan, these Imperial fuckers can ruin her entire family too!

***

LOL, who's the little whore?

Is there a single woman in this drama who doesn't have a problem with mistresses, concubines, serving maids and prostitutes? 😅

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NOOOOOO, DON'T GO MEET WITH HIM!! 😭

AND THIS CREEPY WITCH SAW!! 😭😭

***

STUPID. STUPID. STUPID.

Minglan, where did you lose your brain??

***

WHO GIVES A FUCK ABOUT YOUR MISERABLE BODY

YOUR EVIL MOTHER BEAT A WOMAN TO DEATH BECAUSE OF YOU. FUCK YOU AND FUCK HER AND FUCK YOUR ENTIRE HOUSE

***

There is no chance this will not pulverize both her reputation and that of her entire house.

First of all, the Emperor would never offend his parents by granting this marriage and second, the scandal of it will do soooooo much damage to her and her family. Just imagine how pissed off his parents will be, in addition to every other snooty noble who is very much going to take her trying to marry above her means as a personal insult. Sheng Hong has neither the power nor the mental capacity to deal with the fallout of that.

***

LMAO, where did his stupid ass come from? 🤣🤣

He's like a jack-in-the-box, always popping up, it seems.

***

LOL, bribe him with the cake to keep him quiet 🤣🤣

***

Yes! Finally, somebody is speaking some common sense!

All her stupid maids to is enable her because they think it's sooooo romantic 🙄🙄

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Yes, baby! Here for you and your petty goals! 🤗

***

Oh, nooooooo 😬😬

Of course Buwei gets blamed. Of course!

[umbrellascribbles]

spandy thoughts n headcanons???? you are one of like five people who love it pls share !

AHHH TYSM FOR ASKING I HAV SO MANY THOUGHTS❤️❤️ ;w;

(context favorite characterization of these guys is seasons 1-3 & the musical)

+ Sandy is the only straight man character that isn’t typically mean to spongebob, which is significant. She’s always real with him and doesn’t enable him, but she loves being with him, just so obviously thinks he’s the bees knees~

+ I LOVE HOW MUTUAL THE ADORATION IS, with this sort of dynamic it’d usually be that sb has a one sided crush and has to wear her down, but that’s explicitly not the case. They were conceptualized with a crush on one another, it’s in the pitch bible!!

+ Sponge is a neat freak and Sandy lives in organized chaos. This drives the other crazy a little bit

+ Sandy has always been “too much” for people, just like sponge. There’s a deleted sandy solo in the musical where she talks about how even back home she didn’t fit in, people didn’t know what to make of her. They’re both intense passionate weirdos with an energy that exhausts most people. Sandy’s never really felt like she quite belongs anywhere, and spongebob is pretty much always treated like he doesn’t belong. But they do belong together. They’re pretty much the only people who can almost match the others energy so they seek each other out constantly lol. They feel at home with each other.

+ spongebob fell first but sandy fell harder

+ they see sides of each other that nobody else sees, sandy sees his bravery and sb sees her gentleness. Sb would be like “ya sandys the kindest sweetest warmest person I’ve ever met :)” & everybody else would be like what the fuck are you talking about we were on a flight together and she was dissecting a frog on her tray table

+ sandy is his perfect audience. EXIBIT A: ripped pants. She was laughing at that joke YEARS after it was funny dude watch that episode again everybody else is like oh my GOD shut UP but she’s still earnestly giggling like an idiot. She only stops when he pretends to be hurt, NAWT FUNNY I LOVE YOU 😡💔💔

Like remember when he was doing the worst standup routine of all time....only a real one would have your back during that shit.. AND SHE DID

+ the musical is what completely sold me on the two of them, romantic ass harmonies... AND FOR WHAT!!! But seriously the way they have eachothers backs when nobody else believes in them, they always stand up for each other and earnestly believe in each other. It’s just like, pure love to me, it’s SO sweet...not to mention their chemistry is bonkers insane why were they like that. I think I was completely endeared because like.....that’s SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS and her ass is looking at him like he’s some sort of angel. It’s hilarious and honestly? I get it.

+ so random but canonically he’s a cancer and she’s a scorpio, but I also think he’s gotta lot of libra presence in his chart and she’s got a lot of sagittarius. Ultra mega compatibility x one billion

Okay I’m definitely gonna add more to this later lmao BUT YEAH I LOVE THEM SOOOOO MUCH

[bucketofbugz]

🧑‍🤝‍🧑🫵🧑‍🍳🍍🦸🏙️🏠🧫🦹😡☠️😍🐢🐱 (Overgrown specific)

hehe thank you for enabling me!!!

🧑‍🤝‍🧑 "Is April considered a sibling" This one I haven't decided yet. I prefer the idea of sibling April but also this April in particular kinda feels like that one person in a friend group that doesn't know how they got there and doesn't know how to leave.

🫵 "Who do you project onto the most" It's between Casey and Donnie, honestly.

🧑‍🍳 "Who is the best cook" Did a little spin and made Donnie the cook of the family!

🍍 "Who likes pineapple on pizza" Everyone but Raph. April introduces them to pizza, Casey introduces them to pineapple on pizza. Raph hates it she wants it to burn.

🦸 "Is Casey a vigilante" Not necessarily. Mostly he joins April and Jennika in "reporting" (livestreaming them talking about crimes and trying to figure it out). Casey wants to be a cop some day, but she also hates the corrupt system.

🏙️ "What is the main setting of your au" As the name suggests, the main setting of the au is the Overgrown! The ruins of what used to be New York before it had to be evacuated due to a nuclear radiation issue (almost the entire world was affected, but New York got it the worst). The Overgrown spreads into a couple different areas as well, but New York is the only state that literally is nothing but except for the area scientists have managed to clear out. The first gen of mutants was caused by this and were left when everything was evacuated. It eventually became a community. Torn between making it in the future or just having the Incident happen in the past.

🏠 "What is the lair like" The main sewer system (now unused and not running water) connects to a hideaway section considered the "lair" of the au. It runs into an old office building and also out into a more open area. The office building is mostly where the turtles hang out and sleep but they like being outside in the open area. It's kind of a communal area for the local mutants. They can't do it when investigations are happening though because, obviously, mutants wouldn't want to be seen by scientists.

🧫 "Were your turtles mutated intentionally or on accident" The Overgrown turtles were born mutants! Splinter and Shen were both born mutants with accidentally mutated parents from the nuclear stuff.

🦹 "Who is the main villain" Stockman and Bishop! Karai acts as a secondary antagonist but more in a "really annoyed with the main 3 humans and wants them to stop" way.

😡 "What is your villain's motivation" Seriously pure science. They want to understand the Overgrown and how it can still be so unlivable after 50-60 years. After discovering mutants they believe that they can get answers that way. They don't mean to be villains, but they really aren't ethical or moral in the way they go about things.

☠️ "Does anyone die in your au" Not technically. Few VERY near death experiences but nobody dies-dies.

😍 "Are there any romances in your au" Yes, but they aren't the main focus. Sheena and Jennika get together a bit into the au, I'm on the fence about making Rasey canon, and Donnie may or may not have a boyfriend-- who knows!! A few other relationships might happen but that's undecided.

🐢 "Are your turtles different species" Uh oh. YeAHHHH!!!! Unlike usually I didn't assign them any specific turtle species. Technically they aren't actually turtles??? They have the traits of turtles but that's just a weird mix of their rat/alligator genes from Splinter and Shen. Each of them has a different animal they're inspired by for small details! They still mostly look like turtles, though. Mikey's based on a flying squirrel, Leo's based on a chinchilla, Donnie's based on a horned lizard, and Raph's based on a bush viper! two rodents, two reptiles!

🐱 "Do any of your characters have pets" So far, I have given Mikey a pet! Bat/cat mutant (animal stayed animal) inspired by Klunk!

[13tinysocks]

Also no one is saying that you should kill yourself over it…… just get off the internet go get some better coping mechanisms and stop enabling child grooming it’s that easy!!!!!!

No babe they’re being opressed on tumblr so DADDY MAD 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🤬🤬🤬😡🤬🤬👹👹👹👹💀☠️💀☠️🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🩸🩸🩸🩸

[ambymyself]

CRYING ON MY 21st BIRTHDAY

april 26, 2022

8:31p (mt)

it’s my 21st birthday !!! finally i am allowed to go inside a bar legally. i probably won’t anyway but i know i can also go into casinos in other states besides MN. that’s what i’m about to do right now, i am in Albuquerque.

i know i should be happy for my 21st birthday, but today i am REALLY sad. like near mental breakdown type of sad. i cried in a Ross today but no one knows so that’s just something i will keep to myself. i have no real reason to be sad on this day, i’m mostly sad about my life and what family i have.

i just got inside my head by accident and remembered how broken my family is and how it really messed me up, and grieving for a family i never had and never will have. i kept seeing families in this city with what looked like a present father and mother, and assumed they were perfect despite not knowing who they are. i really wish i had a parent who cared about my feelings. if i ever thought about bringing it up to my mom, i just know it won’t be good. i just hate it here, i want to be adopted by a loving family (at age 21) or just disappear. 

break - now it’s may 6, 2022

well... i typed that up in the hotel in like 5 min after coming back from Ross. i had to stop because my mom was dragging me down to the casino and i didn’t win 🙄. the trip was.... OK. i didn’t even want to go along. i only went because i was seeing Lorde in Minneapolis (which was incredible) the day before they left and i didn’t want to have to drive myself in the city alone, so i had to go with them. it was too long of a trip - 11 DAYS!!! i probably would’ve had more fun if i had my brother or a cousin with me, but it was just me, my mom, grandma and stepdad. and there wasn’t really much for me to do in Albuquerque anyway, i could have drank with my mom but i stopped drinking. also they knew i didn’t have fun, which makes me feel guilty. i couldn’t say anything because i didn’t want to seem ungrateful, i just wanted to be at home all by myself. i felt so alone and just wanted to sit in a corner and cry lol. i felt like a brat and i hate feeling that way.

so why the hell was i crying on my 21st birthday, the only birthday that should be most special? every birthday from now on will be meaningless and i fuckin fumbled my last good one!

you see, i had to spend time with my mom and stepdad once again. ever since i was a baby, i’ve known that i hate being with both of them together. i hate my stepdad, and my mom just.... enables him i guess. i don’t know how to explain. things he does and how he acts is so annoying and hateful, i feel very uncomfortable near him while my mom is able to tolerate it somehow. he is loud, he repeatedly yells stupid shit at me to be “funny,” he has no consideration for others, and says racist/homophobic things out loud and proud, just a big man child and that’s not all. my mom and grandma think it’s funny but i just wanted him to shut up and leave me alone. he will also just switch up and get mad at my mom or somebody else all quick? for instance, when we were packing up to leave, my mom was trying to be fast packing and told him to start packing. he didn’t want to and my mom rolled her eyes, i think, and he got PISSED OFF! he was like “you’re gonna piss me off 😡 quit fucking acting like that i HATE when you get like that 😡 now i’m fucking mad 😡” blah blah blah - and made everyone uncomfortable. my whole life i had to deal with that (and MUCH more) while my mom just stood right by his side, never defending herself or others. i was quiet and had my airpods in the whole trip, and he got mad at me for it. 

that’s why i ended up crying on my birthday, which was the first day in NM. all of the stress and trauma i had to endure my whole life sort of just revived itself within like a day and it overwhelmed me and i started crying to myself in the men’s section. it felt like the demons that watched me from the shadows my whole life appeared right in front of me at once. (is that some form of PTSD?) this was happening all while seeing nice looking families. as little tears were silently rolling down my face underneath my mask, i was thinking “why couldn’t i have a family like that? they look normal... they look loving.” after figuring out why i am the way i am, all of the toxicity and abuse has been haunting me ever since, especially when i think of my past. everything just makes sense, and it’s because of my mom and him. after this mini-crisis, i just checked out. i didn’t really talk or show emotion, or even eat. i was just there for the ride anyway, waiting to get home so i can deal with my emotions alone, like what i had to do my whole life. 😢

it was SO weird the day we left. we had a 4 hour drive to Minneapolis and i was just sitting in the car thinking “wow. i’m sitting here with the two people who traumatized me and are the reason i hate myself.” these are the people who raised me to hate myself. to never be myself around them. to become an emotionless nobody, a person with no soul. all this hate hidden beneath their fake love. everything just hit me at once and i couldn’t hold it in. during the whole trip i was longing for a family i’ll never have, and being upset that it’ll always be just me in this world. imagine who i could have been if i was given the support i needed growing up. instead of having love, all i have is hate and no hope for myself.

ima talk more about ol mommy next.