#stoffel live reaction

[jackdoohangf]

if i was able to go eprix in hyderabad i would jump stoffel immediately

[pepethehobbit]

Take the sadness out of Saturday nights

VDS Week 2021

Day 2: Enemies/Friends to Lovers/ Meet-Cute

Word Count: 6015

(Title from Stop making this hurt by the Bleachers)

Ao3

Lucas heads straight to the bar as he enters the pub. He doesn't really want to be here but he also doesn't want to be at home, where his ex-boyfriend is currently picking up his stuff. Thankfully, he lives with Kes, who stayed there so he can kick him out when he's done. It's been two days since Lucas has broken things off with him and they weren't even together that long. It's not like Lucas was seriously in love with him, which is why he doesn't understand why he's so sad. He orders a vodka soda straight away because he intends to drink until he forgets about this empty feeling in his chest. The bartender sets the glass down in front of him and Lucas takes in his surroundings for the first time since he sat down as he begins sipping on his drink.

At the back of the pub he notices a makeshift stage with a microphone and a guitar already set up. The bar itself is only moderately crowded so Lucas figures whoever is going to perform on there tonight won't be very known. He notices a group of guys directly in front of the stage sitting at one of the bigger tables. Lucas can't make out what they are saying but it's clear that they are excited to be here, so they must know who's going to perform. The sadness in his heart grows heavier as he watches how the guy with the platinum blonde hair leans over to the guy with the curly brown hair to give him a kiss on the cheek and to place a comforting hand is curls. It's the easy familiarity and comfort that even a stranger like Lucas can so clearly see that makes his heart ache for the same thing.

He is about to stand up and leave, suddenly feeling pathetic for getting drunk in a bar all alone on a Saturday night, when he sees someone getting on stage and hanging the guitar around his shoulders. The guy starts tuning his guitar and Lucas is fascinated how the skilled and fast fingers are playing over the strings. He steps up to the microphone, taps it once to see if it's on and only then does he look up for the first time since he entered the stage. Lucas would try and suppress the memory later but he can't deny the fact that his heart skipped a beat when he looked into those eyes for the first time. He knows it's ridiculous but the guy feels familiar. His eyes are emanating a warmth and kindness that makes it hard for Lucas to tear his gaze away.

“Hi everyone. I'm Jens Stoffels and if you don't mind I'm going to sing a few of my songs for you tonight. I hope you enjoy.” Lucas hears excited whoops coming from the table at the front and the rest of the crowd joins in with their clapping. The guy, Jens, smiles at his friends and shakes his head in a way that Lucas can only describe as fond. And when Jens begins to sing Lucas' last shreds of wanting to leave have disintegrated completely. His voice is soft and powerful at once, calming like a comforting blanket and Lucas is in awe at how effortlessly beautiful Jens is when he sings.

During the song Jens lets his eyes wander over the crowd, probably taking in their reaction when he gets to the bar and his gaze stops at Lucas. Lucas feels his heartbeat quicken as a small seemingly surprised smile spreads on Jens' face while he is still singing. He can feel his own smile spreading, albeit much shyer and less open then Jens'. He holds his gaze a few seconds longer before the moment gets too much for Lucas and he drops his gaze towards his drink. Taking a sip from his vodka soda he wonders how such a short moment of eye contact can make him feel so jittery and vulnerably exposed.

Lucas lets Jens' voice and beautiful lyrics fill his ears and mind. His songs are beautiful, from melodic and slow to upbeat and happy and Lucas can't help but chancing a glance towards the man on stage every now and then. He is surprised when at some of those glimpses Jens is already looking back at him. And even though Lucas couldn't rationally explain why, Jens somehow feels significant.

When Jens announces his last song for tonight an unreasonable disappointment overcomes Lucas, not wanting Jens to stop singing. “My last song for tonight is called 'Hoping'. I hope you enjoy and thank you for a beautiful night.” Jens' words are directed at the whole crowd but his gaze is solely on Lucas as he says them. There is a shy smile playing at his mouth and Lucas feels himself blush, but this time he is unable to look away from Jens' warm eyes. Jens begins to play and as Lucas lets the song and the beautiful melody wash over him as he realizes it's about a boy hoping to find love.

It's impossible. Lucas shouldn't feel this affected by someone he hasn't even talked to and yet somehow he knows that Jens is already under his skin. The song ends and Jens sends another thank you out to the crowd and finds Lucas gaze once again, sending him a determined smile. Jens gets off the stage, disappears somewhere backstage and Lucas releases an unbelieving little laugh at the whole situation. He takes the chance to look at his phone and when he sees the message, reality comes crashing down on him like a ton of bricks.

Kes

He's gone now. It's safe to come home.

All at once, the sadness is back and Lucas is reminded of the situation that brought him here in the first place. He is going to go home and he's going to be alone again, because apparently Lucas isn't able to find someone to love. He knows he sounds ridiculous, he's only 21 but with his track record of shitty boyfriends it's hard to believe that he will find someone who will not only accept his love but also return it.

When he walks to the door he chances one last look over his shoulder towards the stage. He sees Jens surrounded by his friends, laughing and smiling and generally happy. And as if Jens can feel the eyes on him he looks up and meets Lucas' gaze, just like he did for the rest of the night. Jens' smile drops when he sees that Lucas is on his way out, disappointment flashing across his face. Lucas falters for a moment, unsure if he's really the cause for such a look. But his insecurities take the upper hand and with one last sad smile at Jens he steps out of the bar and into the coldness of the streets of Amsterdam.

~0~

Jens can't stop thinking about the boy from the bar with the beautiful but sad eyes. It was three weeks ago but somehow this boy, whose name he doesn't even know has planted roots in his mind and Jens can't bring himself to tear them out. The first thing he noticed about him, when he saw him sitting down at the bar, was that he looked sad and Jens was confused about the strong urge to find out why and make it better. When their eyes met during his first song, Jens had to seriously concentrate not to mess up the chords and keep singing. Though he couldn't stop the smile from spreading around his moving mouth when he saw the boy smile for the first time since he entered the bar. Jens was so intrigued by him, wanted to hold his gaze and find out everything there is to know about the boy with the ocean eyes and the artfully tousled blond curls.

But then he just left and Jens felt more disappointed than he rationally should have. Because all they did was exchange shy smiles and hesitating glances, but he can't shake the feeling that it meant more, something significant. He catches himself before his thoughts wander off in that direction again, because in the end they all lead down to the hopeless impossibility of ever seeing that boy again. In a city like Amsterdam he can't expect that he will simply pass him in the streets. And even if he does, the boy left. Maybe he interpreted it all wrong and the boy wasn't interested in him at all, he wouldn't even have the courage to speak with him should he ever run in to him.

His job at the cafe on campus works as a good way to distract him. He only started a little over a month ago, wanting to help his parents pay his college fees and rent. With him studying music he already makes his parents worry about their son's future and he doesn't want them to worry about the money as well. His music also helps, even if just a little. He sells a few CDs but it's mostly over streaming services that he gets a few royalties. It's not enough to make a living out of but Jens hopes that one day he can live off of what he really wants to do.

Jens hears the jingle of the bell when the door of the cafe opens and he snaps out of his thoughts, ready to greet the customer. Only he can't get any words out and freezes on the spot when he sees the man who just walked in. His attention is on his phone, head turned down but Jens  recognize him anyway. The boy from the bar steps up to the counter and Jens is unsure about how he should handle this. Should he tell him? Does that come of as creepy? Would he even recognize Jens? It's the last thought makes Jens decide to hide the fact that he remembers him and he simply does his job. “Hi, what can get you today?”

The boys head snaps up finally and Jens really wasn't prepared to see those blue eyes again. He isn't sure how to interpret the look on his face, a mixture of disbelief and shock, in fact for a moment it looks like he's ready to bolt again. Does he recognize him? The longer the boy stares at him the surer Jens is that he does and a weird fluttering feeling is spreading in his stomach.

“One large caramel macchiato, please,” is all he says in the end, face turning away from Jens. He isn't sure but Jens thinks it's to hide the blush spreading on his cheeks. Jens is about to turn around to start working on his coffee when he remembers he still doesn't know the boy's name.

“Can I have a name for the order?” Jens tries to put on his most charming smile and hopes that the boy won't take notice of the fact that they don't really ask for the names anymore, only if it's super busy, which it isn't for a Tuesday afternoon. The boy looks up again, then around the mostly empty coffee shop and it's Jens turn to blush when he smiles at him, as if he knows. “Lucas. My name is Lucas.”

Lucas. His name is Lucas. Jens can't stop the happy smile from spreading as he turns around to work on his order. He feels Lucas' eyes follow him as he prepares the coffee and it makes his pulse quicken in excitement. Jens contemplates if he should write his number on the cup or if that's maybe a bit too much. In the end, he chickens out and simply tells him his total. “That makes 3,50€, Lucas,” Jens says as he places the cup in front of him, wanting to know how the name would feel falling from his lips. Lucas smiles at him again as he pays for his drink and the fluttery feeling in his stomach comes back in full force.

“Thanks you, Jens,” Lucas says with a slight blush but confidently meeting Jens' stunned gaze. Jens can't do anything but watch Lucas leave once again, but when he turns around at the door to look at him over his shoulder, Lucas doesn't look sad this time. As soon as Lucas leaves, Jens looks down at his apron. A feeling of hope flowing through him and for the millionth time today, he can't stop the smile from spreading on his face.

He isn't wearing his name tag.

~0~

Lucas can't believe his luck. He must have done some serious good deeds in his past life to deserve this second chance. Almost as soon as he left that bar three weeks ago he regretted his decision. This regret only got worse as soon as he told Kes and Jayden about that evening, both agreeing that he is an idiot for leaving. He couldn't stop thinking about Jens, the way he smiled at Lucas and the way his music made him feel. Lucas admitted to Kes that through a little bit of online stalking he was able to find his Spotify and it's all he's listened to in the first week and then deciding that it felt like a little bit too much. He even found Jens' Instagram but wasn't brave enough to press the follow button, scared of the attention that would bring. Because even though Jens has considerably more followers than Lucas, he hasn't gotten enough that he wouldn't notice a new person following him.

He tried not to think too much about him, instead focusing his attention on his current art project he needs to do for his contemporary art lecture. But it's harder than Lucas thought it would be, not thinking about Jens. He comes across so many things that remind him of that night: Jayden got it in his head to learn how to play guitar, Kes is actively torturing him by playing Jens' music on Spotify every time Lucas enters his room and Lucas isn't sure but he thought he saw the guy with the platinum blonde hair in his art history lecture.

Despite this, he thinks that he deals fairly well with the fact that he missed his opportunity with Jens and simply wants to move on with his life. He can't keep wondering what would've happened if he had stayed. And because his life is simultaneously the best and the worst he meets Jens again when he expects him the least. He wasn't sure if Jens remembered him, couldn't really get a read on his expression but when he not so subtly tried to find out his name and when he smiled at Lucas when he gave it to him, the hope of having gotten a second chance to get to know Jens spread a comforting warmth around Lucas' heart.

Lucas wants to go back the next day, hoping Jens will be there again but he also doesn't want him to think he is a stalker or something. So he waits a few more days and then goes to the coffee shop around the same time of day he caught Jens the last time. A giddy feeling makes his way into his stomach when he sees Jens cleaning a table at the window of the cafe. The jingle alerts Jens to his presence as he opens the door and when he meets Lucas' gaze a wide smile spreads on his face. Lucas ducks his head and smiles to himself as he walks up to the counter. There is another barista behind the counter ready to take his order but before she can do so Jens is there to say: “I'll take his order.” She looks at him confused but when her gaze turns towards Lucas and back towards Jens, she just nods once, smiles knowingly at Jens and nudges his elbow as she takes over Jens' task of cleaning the tables. Lucas watches the exchange with an amused smile and then Jens turns his attention towards him. “Large caramel macchiato?” Jens asks him with a hint of pride in his voice for having remembered Lucas' order.

“Yes, please. I want to drink it here though,” Lucas says and he notices how Jens smile grows even deeper. “Okay, I'll bring it to you when it's done. That makes 3,50€ again.” Lucas pays for his drink and chooses a table where he'll be able to subtly watch Jens behind the counter. He gets out his sketchbook and begins drawing random little sketches while he waits. He doesn't notice Jens approaching and looks up startled when he places down the coffee and a blueberry muffin he didn't order. Lucas looks down at the muffin and back up at Jens who answers his question before he can even ask it.

“For you, Lucas. On the house,” he says with a sure smile and a wink, just as Lucas thought Jens couldn't fluster him any more than he already does. Hearing his name falling from Jens lips makes his heart beat faster. He tries to collect his last shreds of composure, smiles up at him and asks: “Do you want to share?”

With a glance to his watch and his eyes shining with excitement he answers: “I'm on break in 30 minutes. Will you wait?”

“Yeah, okay, I'll wait,” Lucas says easily, the thrill of finally getting to spend time with Jens making him giddy. Jens lingers for a moment, returning Lucas' smile before making his way back to the counter. Lucas watches him as he goes and he wonders when the last time was that he was this excited about something.

Lucas tries not watch him all the time, but Jens catches him looking every once in a while and he smiles at Lucas every single time, so Lucas figures he can't be too bothered by it. He turns his attention back to his sketchbook, letting his hand wander across the paper and before he even realized he was doing it, he'd drawn a sketch of Jens, albeit rough but undeniably him. Before he can even think about hiding it, Jens suddenly slips into the chair opposite of Lucas and takes a look at the drawing of him.

“Is that me?” Jens' voice sounds awed and the anxiety in Lucas stomach eases a bit, glad that Jens isn't creeped out by Lucas drawing him.

“Yeah, that's supposed to be you. Do you like it?” Lucas asks with barely concealed hope. Jens turns his attention from the drawing back to Lucas and looks at him with the same awed expression that was mirrored in his voice. “Yes, Lucas this is incredible! How long did that take you?”

Lucas blushes at the compliment and Jens gaze turns fond. “I don't know? Like twenty minutes?”

“You drew this in 20 minutes?” Jens asks disbelieving. Lucas tries his best not to laugh at the shocked expression on his face. “Yes, honestly Jens. It's just a rough sketch, it's really not that good.” Jens scoffs as he turns his attention back to the drawing. His voice is soft when he asks: “Can I keep it?”

Lucas throat suddenly feels tight and he has to clear his throat before he answers so his voice doesn't come out hoarse, an inexplicable feeling overcoming him over Jens wanting to keep his drawing. “Yeah, if you want to, it's yours.”

Jens' answering “Thanks, Luc” is so soft and awed and the smile he sends Lucas causes every butterfly in his stomach to start flying all at once. They look at each other for a few moments longer, something significant passing through their gaze before Jens breaks the eye contact and asks: “So, you're an artist?”

“I want to be. I study art at the academy.” Jens' head snaps back up again and he asks: “Really? A friend of mine studies there as well. Maybe you know him? Sander Driesen? He has this, like, platinum blonde hair, always wears Doc Martins?”

Lucas thinks back to his art history class and yeah, he's seen him a couple of times, but he never knew his name. He remembers seeing him at Jens' performance first though and he contemplates whether he should tell Jens this. They still haven't really acknowledged the fact that they both recognize each other from that night, apart from Lucas calling Jens by his name the last time. So Lucas decides to jump in at the deep end.

“Wasn't he also at your concert?” Lucas asks hesitantly, but carefully watching Jens' reaction. He turns to him surprised but then a small smile is tugging at the corners of his lips and he nods. “Yeah, he was there, with a few of my other friends. Sander's boyfriend is my best friend, Robbe.”

“I noticed them. They were really loud in their support for you.” Lucas lets out a little laugh at the memory and Jens raises his eyebrows daringly when he asks: “Shouldn't they have been?”

“Fishing for compliments?” Lucas asks in return and laughs at the way Jens rolls his eyes. When Jens doesn't say anything in back, Lucas rips of a little piece of the muffin and then nudges it in Jens' direction, silently telling him that he can do the same.

“I really liked your music,” Lucas admits after a while, breaking the companionable silence.

“Really?” Jens asks and his voice sounds hopeful, as if Lucas opinion matters to him.

“Yeah,” Lucas admits before he ducks his head and continues. “I found you on Spotify and listened to your songs for a week straight.” Jens doesn't say anything for a while and Lucas is scared that he said too much, but when he finally looks back up at Jens he watches him with an expression that makes his heart beat faster and his hope grow even more. Lucas feels vulnerable and exposed with the way Jens is looking at him, but he somehow isn't scared.

Jens clears his throat and nervously fidgets with the muffin before he asks: “There is this bar that I'm playing at next Saturday. Do you, I mean, do you want to come with me? As my date?”

Lucas' grin is impossibly wide when Jens looks at him again and he nods excitedly as he gives his answer. “Yes. Yes, I would love to.” Lucas doesn't even try to conceal the obvious happiness in his voice and Jens' eyes light up at his answer.

“Okay. Give me your number, then I can text you the details.” Jens pulls out his phone and hands it over so Lucas can put his number in. Their fingers brush as Lucas takes it out of Jens' hand, the feeling of Jens' skin on his flowing through him like electricity. As Lucas hands back the phone when he is done, he does it on purpose, caressing the back of Jens' hand with his index finger. Jens' smile is blinding and Lucas can only think, once again, how beautiful Jens is.

“I need to get back to work now,” Jens says, but he doesn't move away from Lucas' table or even takes his hand away. “Okay,” Lucas answers but doesn't release Jens' hand either. Jens looks at him and lets out a happy, disbelieving laugh as he eventually stands up to leave, taking the sketch Lucas drew of him. “I'll see you on Saturday, then.” Lucas simply nods his head, even though it wasn't a question.

Jens gets back to work and Lucas finishes his coffee and muffin. When he gets up to leave, he catches Jens gaze once again and gives a small wave as he walks to the door. He is already out of the cafe when someone gently grabs his elbow and turns him around. Jens is in front of him and Lucas' heart begins to beat impossibly fast as he leans down to press a gentle but lingering kiss to Lucas' cheek. “See you on Saturday, I'll text you,” Jens repeats in a soft voice and then he is gone again. Lucas barely resists the urge to lift his hand to his cheek like a freaking cliché but he can't stop smiling on his way home.

~0~

Jens is a bundle of nerves on Saturday. He texted Lucas as soon as his shift ended and they basically never stopped. It's ridiculous how much he already likes him and if he's being honest, he's a little scared that he's gonna mess this up and they haven't even got past their first date. Which is tonight and Jens can't for the life of him find his usual ever present chill.

He texted Lucas that he should meet him at the bar, Jens wanted to pick him up but he had to be here a little earlier to set everything up. He's nervous to perform in front of Lucas again, even though he already told him he liked his music. The bar he performs at tonight is a little bit smaller than the last one, it feels more intimate and cozier, which doesn't help to settle his nerves. There are already several people sitting at the tables and a few at the bar, but tonight there's really only one guest he wants to impress.

He tries concentrating on setting up his guitar and already starts tuning it. The familiarity and routine of the task does manage to calm him down a bit but there is still this permanent undercurrent of excitement and nervousness flowing through him. Checking his watch, he's startled to realizes that Lucas should be here any minute. He finishes the last little tasks of setting up and goes to the bar to order a beer. It's a soft spoken “Hey” that alerts Jens to his presence.

He turns around and tries not to be so obvious in his admiration as he takes in Lucas. His hair is curlier than usual, as if he put extra care into it today. Jens wants to pull his hands through it to find out if it's as soft as it looks. “Hey,” Jens replies and is surprised about himself how steady his voice sounds. “Do you want a drink?”

“Sure, I'll take a beer,” says Lucas and sits down next to Jens at the bar, hands on top of the counter, close to Jens' own.

“I'm really happy that you're here,” Jens admits with a hesitant glance towards Lucas who smiles softly in response.

“Me too. I can't wait to hear you play again. I'm pretty sure I could sing along to all the songs now.” Lucas says with a little laugh and his fingers move hesitantly towards Jens', overlapping their pinkies.

“Yeah, I noticed my Spotify streams growing a bit in the last weeks,” Jens say with a teasing smile but he turns his hand around so he can tangle his fingers with Lucas' properly. Lucas looks down at their joined hands and then points his gaze back towards Jens, raising his eyebrows in a challenge. “What kind of groupie would I be if I didn't even know your songs?”

Jens lets out a surprised laugh and Lucas expression turns amused. “Well, I guess I should be honored to have you as my first groupie, then.”

Lucas' grin turns smug as he says: “You definitely should be.” Jens hasn't noticed how close they actually sit together but then he feels Lucas' knee pressing into his thigh and he's pretty sure he doesn't imagine the pleased smile on his face when Jens pushes back.

“So, what do you do when you aren't working at the cafe or collecting groupies?” Lucas asks after a while and Jens has to laugh again but this time because he thinks he can hear a hint of worry in Lucas' voice, as if there was someone else.

“I think you're seriously overestimating my charm here, Luc. So far I only have one groupie and I hope it stays that way.” Jens hopes he doesn't give away too much but so far Lucas seems to have appreciated his boldness. “That's good to know,” Lucas says and squeezes Jens' hand once.

“And you? Isn't there any kind of muse who's waiting to be drawn by you?” Lucas seems to fight a smile that wants to work its way onto his face and he bites his bottom lip to fight it down. He looks up at Jens and holds his gaze for an excruciatingly long time before he says: “That depends. Do you want another portrait of you?”

Jens heart beats faster at the implication and he has to break the eye contact, feeling flustered at the words. As soon as he got home that day he put the drawing on his dresser and Robbe had teased him mercilessly for it, but Jens didn't care. Lucas' drawing of him was so completely different from how he sees himself. Of course, it was obviously Jens, but there was this expression in his eyes that Jens didn't recognize on himself and he was intrigued to find out more about how Lucas sees him.

When he looks up again, Lucas is much closer than he was before and his eyes have dropped down to his mouth. Jens licks his lips, unconsciously leaning closer when–

“Jens, you're up,” says the bartender and Lucas jumps back startled as if he was as lost in their own little space as Jens was. Jens is surprised how easy it is to get lost in a world of Lucas, he nearly forgot that he is supposed to perform tonight. Jens draws back reluctantly and the bartender shoots him an apologetic smile.

He gets up from his stool but not letting go of Luc's hand yet. Jens turns to him, squeezes his hand once and says: “I'll see you later then.”

Lucas' voice is a little breathless when he says: “Yeah, I'll be here.”

Jens sends him one last smile before he steps back and makes his way towards the stage. He grabs his guitar, checks once again if it's tuned correctly and steps up to the microphone to introduce himself to the crowd. “Hello everyone. I'm Jens Stoffels and I'm gonna be playing a few of my songs tonight. I hope you enjoy.”

He lets his eyes wander over the people in the bar but his eyes finds Lucas' quickly and he begins to play.

~0~

Lucas couldn't think it possible but Jens' performance leaves him even more mesmerized than the first one. Probably because Jens' gaze doesn't sway from Lucas' eyes all that often and Lucas is equally as unable to look away as Jens seems to be. And every time Jens catches him singing along to one of his songs the smile that spreads on his face settles something inside Lucas' heart. He remembers the feeling of getting lost in Jens' music and voice only this time it isn't tinged with Lucas' sadness. His pulse quickens every time Jens looks at him and this time Lucas holds is gaze, isn't afraid anymore to get pulled in by Jens' gravity.

Lucas has said it as a joke, but sitting here, being one of the only ones who actually knows the songs and knows Jens, it actually feels like he is his groupie. And when Lucas lets his eyes wander over the other people in the room, taking in their reaction to Jens he knows Jens was wrong. Lucas didn't overestimate his charm one bit. Everyone's attention is solely on Jens as he captivates them with his easy smile, beautiful voice and melodic tunes. He jokes during songs, engages with his audience and when he announces his last song Lucas can actually see some disappointed faces.

The last song Lucas doesn't know and that alone catches him off guard. It's beautiful though and Lucas is enthralled by the tenderness of the lyrics. From what he can tell it's about meeting someone and knowing they're gonna be significant, important to you in a way others weren't until now. Lucas wonders when Jens wrote this song because it feels eerily familiar to what he's been feeling since he met Jens.

When the last notes are slowly fading out there is a moment of complete silence until the whole bar erupts into applause. Lucas is the loudest one of all, cheering for Jens vigorously and shooting him an elated smile when he finds his eyes. Jens looks a little overwhelmed with the reception but returns Lucas' smile with an even brighter one. He thanks his audience once again, places his guitar back in the stand and heads straight towards Lucas. On his way he gets stopped a few times, people complementing him on his performance, but when he is finally close enough he steps right in between Lucas' legs, takes his head in between both hands and gently rests his forehead onto Lucas'.

“Hi,” is all Jens says, his voice sounding giddy and happy and a little breathless. Lucas can feel a few eyes on them but he ignores them for now, letting his hands settle on Jens' waist. He looks up into his eyes and his voice is just as affected when he replies with a “Hi” of his own.

“Wanna get out of here?”

“Yes.”

Jens steps back and tells the bartender that he will pick up his stuff tomorrow, who gives him a knowing smile and throws in a teasing “Have fun.” Lucas absolutely does not blush at that but Jens simply laughs and pulls Lucas out of the bar.

As soon as they are outside Lucas can't hold in his excitement anymore. “Jens, that was absolutely incredible! Honestly, you are amazing!” Jens blushes at the compliment but there is a smile dancing across his face, his eyes alive with wonder. “Thank you, Luc.”

They begin walking down the street and Lucas reaches for Jens' hand and tangles their fingers together. Jens looks at him from the side and his eyes roam over Lucas' face as if searching for something. He looks away again and says quietly: “That last song was for you.”

Lucas stops dead in his tracks and it makes Jens turn around to face him. The reached one of the many bridges of Amsterdam, the lights of the city reflected in the river and for a Saturday night it's pleasantly void of any people. Lucas turns the words over in his head but there's no way he heard them wrong. His voice is breathless as he asks: “You wrote a song for me?”

Jens blushes again but he meets Lucas' gaze head on, eyes soft and hopeful. “Yeah. Did you like it?” Lucas is momentarily rendered speechless but then he steps into Jens' space, lets one hand slide through Jens' hair and settles it at his neck. He moves in slowly to give Jens the chance to move away, leaning his forehead against Jens', noses bumping together gently and before he closes the final distance between their lips he whispers: “Is this okay?”

Jens doesn't answer but Lucas feels his eyes fluttering shut when Jens brushes his lips against his own. He melts against Jens, moving his lips softly and letting his hands brush through Jens' hair. When Jens' hands settle on Lucas' waist to pull him closer Lucas deepens the kiss and he feels more than he hears it, the contented little hum that Jens lets out.

Lucas has never felt like this before. Jens feels so familiar and easy and just so right. Before he met Jens he didn't believe in soulmates. But what else could he be if not exactly that? From the first moment he saw him, stepping onto that stage, Lucas knew that Jens was gonna be important. He was scared about it at first, wasn't ready for what this means, but then the universe gave him a second chance and this time, Lucas lets himself be pulled into Jens' orbit willingly, ready for what ever the universe has in store for them.

[hopetofantasy]

wtFOCK actor Nathan Bouts (22) releases his first hiphop-single: “Music helps me overcome my doubts and fears”

Besides acting, wtFOCK star Nathan Bouts (22), is now aiming his arrows on the world of music. Under the influence of bigger hiphop stars like A Tribe Called Quest and J Dilla, he went to work in his studio with his own beats and lyrics. His first single with music video ‘WATERS’ was released Friday. “I bought my own first drum-computer a while ago and I started fiddling with that in my bedroom.”

Teenagers around Flanders know Nathan Bouts (22) mostly as Jens Stoffels, the somewhat rebellious skater boy from the internet tv series wtFOCK, which is also broadcasted on VIER, VIJF and Telenet. With his fictitious profile Jens as well as his own personal one, the influencer from Antwerp has more than 50.000 followers behind him. Next to wtFOCK and a few minor roles in other Flemish fiction, his focus now entirely lies on making music under the name of NATHAN BOAZ. Nathan has had a relatively busy period behind him. After three seasons of wtFOCK, he and other colleagues filmed themselves during the first lockdown for the spin-off wtFOCKDOWN. In July the shooting of wtFOCK season 4 started, which has been broadcasting in the meantime. Besides that, he still found the time to work on his new music project.

Bedroomproducer “Just like Billie Eilish, I’ve had a certain fan base before I started making music, so that can’t go wrong,” Nathan jokes whilst mocking himself. “I wanted to make music for a while now, but I just never took the time to make it. Namely, I’ve went to the Steinerschool, where music was a large aspect of the education. It was during that time, that I realized I wanted to create something myself one day. Under the influence of American hiphop stars and producers like A Trible Called Quest, J Dilla and Pete Rock - my guru - I’ve bought my first drum-machine and started tampering with it in my bedroom.” “It actually started solely with beats and instrumental songs. But again, under the influence of American oldskool rap and the more recent Kendrick Lamar, I’ve began writing lyrics which I started to sing to my beats.”

Nathan’s loyal followers know for a while that he’s working on a music project. On a good day he has released a clip on social media of him rapping to a beat and relaying the message that he has other aspirations besides acting. “I’ve had been doubting for weeks if it was actually a good idea,” Nathan says, reliving the experience. “That might sound contradictory for an actor on a youth channel with a lot of fans, but I’m actually quite insecure. When I put that clip online, I didn’t check my social media for two days, out of fear of reactions. What if nobody watched it? Or people thought it was shitty? Would I make a fool out of myself? You don’t have to a crybaby about it, I told myself. I took some distance from it and without any expectations, two days later, I went to check if there were any reactions.” “But I could be very pleased. Of course there were a ton of fun reactions by wtFOCK fans,” Nathan smiles. “That’s of course amazing, but I do value the reactions more of the people who know something about music and work with it too. And those were there as well, I’ve gotten a lot of private messages with loving words.” “I’ve got the same expectation for my first single release. Am I scared of the real experts and the hiphop OGs who won’t take me seriously? That they’ll think music is just a commercial vehicle to exploit my fans? They’re allowed to think that, but no, I know what my qualities are. I was intensively working with music befóre wtFOCK, there is no financial strategy behind it, music is truly my passion.” “More than a passion actually, also a way to escape”, Nathan changes tone. “Music can be very emotionally charged and the feelings you get from it, can be overwhelming, even if it is purely instrumental. Doubts and fears, those are feelings I often have to deal with. Is it because of specific experiences in my life? No, not really, I’ve lived a luxury life compared to other people. I think every person has lived through stuff unconsciously, where you can get sad, without truly being able to name those things. Music is in this case the best medicine to get you through it.” Flowjob Despite his doubts and insecurity, Nathan really loves to act, whilst trying to profile himself on social media and was even interviewed by Flo Windey on ‘Flowjob’ on Studio Brussel to talk about sex and relationships. “Of all the things I’ve done publicly, Flowjob has to be the one thing I had to think about for the longest time, and I really would like to state that here”, Nathan emphasizes, “But I simply thought ‘fuck it’, sometimes you have to do stuff you’re scared to do, just out of curiosity to see where you end up. If you consciously don’t do certain things out of fear, you’ll never know what you might have missed. Does it disappoint you? It might, but then you’ll know.” “What kind of reactions do you get if you say things on Studio Brussel, of which you wish your mother doesn’t hear? What do you think? I’ve had my portion of the bizarre requests and sexual messages, from people I know to a whole heap of people I don’t. Especially girls? Yep, but also boys,” Nathan laughs. Exciting “Besides, I’m not the only one in the artistic world who’s reserved in his nature. I think for a lot of actors, musicians and artists their work is some sort of personal remedy to overcome insecurity. I often see the same with my colleagues. The fact that you can hardly earn money with it, especially in times like these, keeps raising those doubts, like a vicious cycle. But that insecurity is kinda thrilling in a some way. I truly wouldn’t want anything else.” The single ‘WATERS’ from NATHAN BOAZ is now available on Spotify and Apple Music via Absender Management in collaboration with Krazee Alley Productions. 

[race-week]

not really a question, but i would love to hear your thoughts on this!

i feel like it’s kind of icky that stuff like lando calling his current teammate his ex-teammate’s name and all that is just publicized and like enjoyed. like, yeah, carlando is absolutely adorable but it seems like a such a shitty thing to do to daniel. by constantly talking about your ex-teammate/driver, mclaren and lando kind of just make it impossible for their current driver to feel like they’re a part of the family. perhaps i’m just looking into it too much, but i know that i’d feel like shit if i were in daniel’s position. it’s not like daniel took carlos’ seat—carlos left. perhaps the fact that it seems like daniel and lando don’t have the best relationship makes all of it worse? i don’t know. i just don’t think it’s fair to any driver that when they go to a new team that they’re constantly reminded of the person who came before them and how much everyone loves them.

Hi anon thanks for the message,

I just want to start this by saying I think it was a genuine slip up by Lando, him and Carlos did a lot of media stuff together last year as well as all the press conferences, it’s a pretty simple slip up to make, kinda like putting the wrong year on your schoolwork (that’s unlocked some memories)

I think McLaren are doing all they can at the moment to help Daniel settle, it’s a common thing for engineers to call the newer driver the wrong name in the heat of the moment as well; Lando has been called Fernando and Carlos, Stoffel before it just happens when you are so used to saying a certain phrase.

I don’t think that it’s McLaren playing up the Carlando thing so much as it is the fans and also F1 themselves on socials (but correct me if I’m wrong, I typically avoid these things)

McLaren are doing quite a lot to help Daniel integrate into the team as much as possible, I think it took a little longer at first because of the pandemic and because he doesn’t live as close to the MTC and then was spending a lot of time in LA that first contact between him and the team was a little delayed and then it takes a little while to fully cement yourself in. This is Lando’s 3rd year in the sport but he’s been around the team since early 2017

Sorry I didn’t really answer it but I think the main thing is the fans reaction and f1 know the following behind the carlando thing and as such want to continue to try to get attention from it

[chappedandfadedvds]

Oct 31th, Saturday 15:27

„So here we are. Casa Stoffels.“ Jens provided happily, as they stepped into the open space, kitchen and dinning space to their right and living room on their left. And right infront of them on the floor on spread out pages of newspaper sat Robbe, Sander, Milan and Lotte. Already deeply indulged into their craft, drawing shapes and discussing designs. Knives, tools, pens and four orange pumpkins of various sizes placed in their center. 

The fifth one was currently infront of Lotte, who had taken the space next to Sander. And Jens swore to god, sometimes this boy just didnt think things through.

„Sander, you do not give my eight-year old sister a big fat sharp knife to carve into a pumpkin. And herself while she’s at it.”

„She has to learn to do it at one point.“ Sander tried to defend casually shrugging, not yet having let go of the handle of the knife, he was about to press into Lotte’s tiny hand. His sister was looking up at Jens too, almost pleading to be allowed to do it. 

„Yes, but not at eight.“ Jens insisted and then continued directly at his little sister: „Sander, can cut it open and you can hollow it out like last year, okay? Maybe you can try and help to cut some pumpkin for the soup later?“

That seemed enough to please Lotte as she happily nodded, agreeing to Jens completely, before turning back to Sander. This girl loved Sander so much. Mainly because he was always playing and fooling around with her when he was over. He remembered the huge blanket fort they had set up in her room last winter. A massive structure that englufed all furniture and stood for weeks. 

Or the one weekend, when Sander still went through the end of a depressive phase, Lotte had offered her bed to him, and then talked, and read her two-graders school work to the sad boy all day long. 

Or the one day when they spend hours online on Zoom, him rating all her drawings. 

It was great actually, because it meant that Jens and Robbe had lots of time to themselfes when they all met up. And Sander really seemed to enjoy his time with Lotte quite a bit too.

Just as he was about to ask what Lucas would like to drink, in order to be a good host and also make Lucas feel welcomed, Robbe and Milan had greeted the newly arrived boy, who replied explaining the spontaneous invitation by Jens last night. That made Lotte spun around surprised. Apparently she hadn’t noticed Lucas standing in their house at all.

„Who are you? You sound funny.“ She inquired blunt and straight forward as only a child could. 

„I’m Lucas, a new friend of your brother from school. I’m from the Netherlands actually.“ Lucas introduced himself yet again this week. He seemed a bit taken aback as she had adressed his dutch accent, but certainly amused by the little girl, who thought long about his answer and then smiled up at him.

„Okay, I’m Lotte. You can share Jens’s pumkin then.“ She decided, making everyone laugh and her instead very confused why it had prompted such a reaction.

„Sounds like a really good idea, Lotte.“ Jens agreed as soon as he had calmed down again.

„Only if I get to draw the face. You probably can’t draw shit and I’m not having an ugly ass pumpkin for Halloween.“ Lucas said leaning over just a bit towards Jens, his elbow poking his side, which made Jens suddenly realise how close they were actually standing. He turned his head just enough to find the smile he liked so much on those pretty lips. They were way too close for his comfort, especially having his sister and friends watching them.

„Sure.“ Jens barely managed to get out and then with a bit more confidence pointed towards the kitchen counter, that showed a huge glass carafe, filled to the brim. „Would you like something to drink?“

„What do you have?“ Lucas asked as they both made their way over, the others back to their task of carving the pumpkins. Only Robbe had thrown them another brief glance, Jens had noted, a bit worried if he had made his nervousness too obvious perhaps. Robbe knew him too well to not see that Jens was acting a bit off at times.

„I’ve made ice tea.“ Jens stated as he grabbed a couple of glasses from the cabinet across, placing them beside the carafe, for the others to take later as well.

„You? You made it?“ Lucas asked looking impressed and Jens felt even more proud now, that he could surprise Lucas like that, as it honestly was just ice tea. Lotte probably could have done it. He didn’t mind the boy‘s praise though.

„Yes, my mom used to do it all the time, she taught me and now I’m the ice tea chef or however you wanna call it. It is basically just green tea, with some roasted rice, and added apple and elderflower. And some honey.“ Jens explained brightly, pouring two glasses and handing one to Lucas. Their hands touched. Obviously they would, no wait they really wouldn’t. Why was Jens so affected by it? He couldn’t help himself though and watched the glass instead, as it was been brought to Lucas’s lips, who in turn never took his eyes off of Jens. Shouldn’t this be wierd? 

„Wow. This is really good. I love it. I guess I’ll move in now, knowing you are amazing at ice tea making.“ He teased grinning like an idiot and Jens just stood there, absolutely overwhelmed and even a bit insecure for fuck’s sake. He never was that. He was Jens. Jens was confident and cocky and brazen at times. Now he didn’t know what to do with himself. 

„Already moving in, isn’t that a bit hasty, shouldn’t you take me out on a date first?“ Thank god for years of flirting experience and cheesy lines, his brain seemed to still be working, even if his body has decided to fail him, as he spilled half his drink as he had tried to put his glass back down.

„Shit.“ He mumbled, already grabbing for the paperr towel by the kitchen sink.

„Let me.“ Lucas appeared directly behind him. Jens could feel the heat radiating from the boy’s body, as he reached around him, taking it from the counter. He knew if he would lean back just a little, he would fall into the body of Lucas. A thought he found way too alluring to have on a saturday afternoon, with guests just across the room. And then Lucas was gone.

„Thank you.“ Jens said smiling anyway, ignoring the little dissapointment in their distance again, as they both cleaned up the tea.

„Could you bring us some spoons, to cave them out?“ Milan asked, looking over, presenting them with his pumpkin he held high up into the air. A proper halloween pumpkin face was outlined on it’s deep orange skin and it reminded him, that they actually were doing the whole pumpkin carving thing.

„Will do.“ Jens replied loudly, already opening the drawer to pull them out.

„Alright, Mister Artist, let’s see what you can do.“ He winked at Lucas, feeling much more poised to handle having the dutch boy here, and walked over. Followed close by Lucas, who plopped down next to him once Jens had taken his place in the circle.

„No, this is your pumpkin!“ Lotte complained pointing towards the flattest one in the middle, when Lucas had dared to take the tall one next to it. „This one is mine, Sander had promised me to put a witch and a cat on it.“ She explained, as if Lucas was dumb and it was common knowledge.

„What the hell are you doing, Robbe?“ Sander questioned his boyfriends dotted pumpkin, pecking a kiss at his cheek, delighted. Only recieving a wiggle of brows in response and a short: „You will see.“

„Am I the only one doing a traditional face here?“ Milan feigned hurt and looked between their designs that started taking shape.

„What can I help it, if you are just as uninspired as most of the boring people on this earth. Bad gay.“

„Sander! Very thin ice, my friend. I am the one on the rental agreement for the flat, that you decided was your new residence.“

„No, I love you, Milan. For real. Promise. Don’t kick me out.“

„Asshole, I couldn’t even if I wanted to. You are lucky I love my little Robbe too much to put him on the street. Because I swear to god, this boy would follow you right out, if I dared.“

„Good to know.“

„You better not use that as leverage in the future.“

„I wouldn’t even dream about it.“

Maybe not having a big, loud halloween party this year wasn’t as bad, Jens thought only half listening. Instead he observed Lucas intently drawing a scary set of teeth onto the pumpkin, biting his lip in concentration. While Milan and Sander went on teasing each other, in an endless cycle of jabs and quips, much to Robbe’s and Lotte’s entertainment. 

Yes, maybe Jens could get used to this quiet bliss.

[fitnesswomenshealth-blog]

J&J exec: Tuberculosis is a global emergency. Treat it that way.

New Post has been published on https://cialiscom.org/jj-exec-tuberculosis-is-a-global-emergency-treat-it-that-way.html

J&J exec: Tuberculosis is a global emergency. Treat it that way.

Four yrs back, a illness that seldom produced headlines — Ebola — raged in West Africa. There was no vaccine, treatment or cure. Nevertheless the preliminary response was slow, the intercontinental group eventually mobilized means, developed scientific innovations and promised to make positive a tragedy on the identical scale would hardly ever materialize once again.

These days, Ebola is again, but the story is altering. The Democratic Republic of the Congo, where I began my job as a physician, is experiencing the 2nd of two threatening Ebola outbreaks this calendar year, but this time we are superior ready to respond many thanks to new tools, like new vaccines. My business, Johnson & Johnson, is amongst individuals that accelerated the development of a vaccine and stands completely ready to deploy it when necessary.

Ebola, and HIV prior to it, reveals what can be completed the moment a disorder is catapulted to the prime of the international agenda. So it is puzzling to me why a considerably deadlier ailment — tuberculosis — has never ever received this type of awareness and concentration from the world neighborhood.

TB represents just one of the best public health emergencies right now, and we need to begin managing it like 1. TB infects a quarter of the planet’s populace and, to several people’s surprise, statements additional life each yr than HIV/AIDS — the latter becoming a testomony to the global HIV response. Rising drug resistance has manufactured addressing TB even more complicated, and drug-resistant TB is now the top induce of fatalities due to antimicrobial resistance.

An outdated and inadequate toolbox is mainly to blame for the unacceptably substantial toll of TB. Many of the medicines used to treat TB these days are old, ineffective and have damaging facet results. We really don’t yet have diagnostics that can rapidly detect TB, and we desperately want an successful vaccine.

Advancing innovation for TB is inherently tricky and involves danger. Biologically, TB is a advanced illness and there is confined scientific knowing of how it develops and how medication can prevent it. TB innovation is also hard because it largely impacts people today in minimal-cash flow nations around the world, this means there have been minimal professional markets — and couple financial incentives — for companies to make the essential financial investment in new improvements.

The good information is that the tide may well be turning. Wednesday, I will be a part of globe leaders collecting in New York for a high-stage meeting on TB at the United Nations, the initial-at any time conference of this sort for the condition. Encouraging the innovation that is so desperately necessary ought to be central to these discussions.

By operating in new ways and with new urgency, development on TB is possible. At Johnson & Johnson, we have been infused with that sense of urgency for above 20 decades, investing significantly in the improvement of a drugs for a form of TB resistant to at minimum two of the medicine most frequently utilised to take care of TB. This medication, when it was authorised in 2012, was the first TB drug with a novel system of action manufactured accessible in 40 a long time.

And just this week, we declared a 10-calendar year initiative to keep on investing in TB, in 3 essential approaches: continuing to broaden entry to our novel MDR-TB drugs, supporting efforts to come across the 4 million scenarios of TB that go undiagnosed every single 12 months, and advancing the enhancement of ground breaking following-technology TB medicines that are urgently required.

Nevertheless, as the initial Ebola response has shown, the scale of innovation needed to stop a sickness threat involves commitment and engagement from throughout all sectors and disciplines. For TB, it is very important to prioritize the creation of a sturdy and sustainable innovation setting, which includes new incentives and funding mechanisms. Such an environment would bring extra of the personal sector on board and considerably speed up the enhancement of new TB medicines and other innovations for people.

As desired as new equipment are, they can only be successful if methods are in put to provide them to individuals. It is very important to commit in strengthening regulatory, shipping and wellbeing programs about the environment. By working with each other and investing across sectors, gaps can be crammed and ability created.

Inspiring illustrations occur from the management of international locations most seriously impacted by TB. Across the globe, new improvements are obtaining the greatest effects in countries in which TB is a national political priority and there is a finances allocation to match.

For instance, in July, South Africa turned the initial state in the earth to propose an injection-totally free cure program for MDR-TB. This determination, backed by new facts, demonstrated the country’s powerful dedication to ensuring patients been given the ideal care achievable. Nations around the world like South Africa are on the reducing edge, environment a large bar for deft, unexpected emergency-level TB response. They know that tens of millions of lives are at stake.

The Ebola reaction established an significant precedent. In just a number of yrs, the earth has produced amazing strides to create new tools, and communities at threat for the ailment are looking at the added benefits. We ought to function alongside one another to be certain the exact same is real for TB. I am confident that, with financial commitment, vitality and creativeness, the world can acquire and deliver the innovations we urgently require to get us on the most productive route to make TB record.

—Paul Stoffels, M.D. is the vice chair of the government committee and chief scientific officer at Johnson & Johnson.

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[stoffelstories]

Stoffel the Sporadic

Yes, I know I haven't posted anything since June. Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to welcome you the Performance Anxiety Age.

I love writing. I love telling stories. I love making them up too. I love untangling the apparently unremarkable twines of life's tapestry and restitching them in visible whimsy. That's what this neglected blog is supposed to be about. (Whimsically) Unremarkable Stories.

But the culture of social media turns everyone into his and her own brand manager. Every time I open this app to jot down a scribble of whimsy my chest tightens in an unarticulated fear that a sentence slightly or completely inconsistent with my brand will fall off my fingertips. Or maybe people just won't like, get me... Ya know? My name's Blurryface and I care what you think.

One of the most striking experiences of life in Southeast Asia is that it is painstakingly documented and glamorized on social media. Every outing requires (a plethora of) selfies to be taken. Every friend, male and female, knows his or her best angle and most flattering filter. It's as if the event won't count if it's not streamed live on Instagram and documented in multiple posts afterwards. I'm not going to even begin a commentary on relationship posts. I unfriend them shamelessly.

But this isn't one of those "social media is killing our children" posts. This is an apology. An explanation. An apolanation. An explology. I want to write more often, and I hereby declare my utmost determination to try. But in case this is my last post, please like and comment by somehow contacting me in person and we can go get coffee and be best friends forever.

I've been contemplating the effects that the FOMO - Fear Of Man Oh! - has on me. Among many negatives, the perpetual and exhausting pursuit of perfection is the most notable. I sometimes have the urge to post a series of (artfully hipster-esque) repulsive selfies on my Instagram as a form of protest. But my captivity is self-imposed so my campaign would be rather self-demeaning. I feel like I'm just babbling now.

Bear with me here, I'm going somewhere with this. Is it bear or bare?

Im not above posting a photo for the affirmation of a few likes on Instagram. All the better if one of them is the girl I fancy. This means I'm also conscious of the hollowness of that high. Especially when I only get four likes. Father God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. And my mom. My knee-jerk reaction to instarejection is to give up posting. But then I remember I first wanted to post as a form of creative expression. I wanted to tell a story. I just began focusing too much on whether people were liking my stories, which tainted that form of expression. Actually, my life was tainted in the same way.

We live in an age where life is a performance and you better know the right lines or you'll end up poor and alone. So we post only the best photos of only our best days and desperately conceal the dirt on our souls in the fear that someone - or everyone - is going to reject us. No wonder the world is stressed. No wonder I considered changing my Tumblr name to Sporadic Stoffel.

The reason I am posting now is because Jesus likes me. All the time. I realized those four likes I get on my "worst" posts are the only ones that matter. That applies to everything.

Jesus died to set me free from me. I don't have any dirt to conceal anymore. My shame and guilt is washed away by His blood. And I don't need to filter a face that He already calls perfect. So there's no facade anymore. And there's no Performance Anxiety anymore because I've got nothing to prove.

It took me a lifetime to understand the significance of Jesus' death on the cross. I pray it takes you only as long as long it takes to finish reading this post.

Jesus loved you before you were born, before you could do any good or evil. The world barely loves you when your at your most picturesque. Why are you chasing the love of what will kill you when the One who created you is chasing you to give you LIFE?

These are the questions that changed Stoffel the Sporadic into Christopher the Carefreeeeeeeeeeee :)

[jackdoohangf]

[jackdoohangf]

WHY ISHE LIKCKING HIS LIPS

[jackdoohangf]

gentlemen the liveblogging resumes as per uzhhhh

[jackdoohangf]

killign mysrlf

[jackdoohangf]

waiting till jan 14 to chane=ge url

[jackdoohangf]

youtube video to mp4 converter

[jackdoohangf]

[jackdoohangf]

ACREECHING KUKE A BJRED

[jackdoohangf]