#stmf chapter fourteen

[nalgenewhore]

Slipping Through My Fingers - Fourteen

masterlist - ao3 - last chapter - next chapter 

warnings: none

an: .....hehe 

Her apartment was cold and dark. Everywhere she looked, she saw him. 

His hoodie was on the chair, his side of the bed rumpled from the nights he spent here. Even her cupboard and fridge were filled with his favourites. 

Elide had finally been able to convince Yrene she was fine to be alone, but she wasn’t. It was crushing down on her, her heart feeling like it had been ripped out of her chest. 

He didn’t trust her. 

She loved him. 

He didn’t trust her. 

She wanted to be with him forever. 

He didn’t trust her. 

Her knees buckled and she fell against the door, sliding to the floor as a pained, heartbroken sob fell from her lips. She hugged her knees to her chest, tilting her head back on the door as she sobbed again, her vision blurred by hot tears. 

Elide covered her mouth with her hand, sobbing into the skin of her palm. 

She’d been broken up with before, she’d broken up with people before. Hell, her last relationship - she’d never felt heartbreak like that. But this, this was unbearable. And they hadn’t even officially broken up. 

Elide buried her face in her arms and muffled her sobs in her hoodie, no sound coming from her as her shoulders shook. 

“I love you,” she whispered, hoping he somehow heard her. Hoping he held onto the remains of her heart that he’d ripped from her and hoping he would take care of her soul for her, just in case she never got it back.

+*+*+*+*+*+*

Elide was still crying when she used her key to open Aelin’s door. She was trying to quell her tears when she walked in and saw the living room and kitchen lit up by countless candles. And there Aelin was, dressed in an oversized white dress shirt that had to be Rowan’s and nothing else.  

“Hey, babe– Ellie?” Aelin stood up from where she was sprawled seductively across her couch. 

“You’re not wearing pants,” Elide cried, hiccuping slightly. 

Aelin winced and walked over to her, “I know, I’m sorry, we were supposed to do this whole no-pants night…” she trailed off, utterly confused at Elide’s distress. 

“Do you want me to take my pants off too,” she sobbed, dropping her keys and purse to hug her sister. 

“Oh, no, honey,” Aelin crooned, wrapping Elide up in a soothing embrace. “What happened? Where’s that broody mans of yours?” 

“I don’t think he’s my mans anymore,” Elide cried, burying her face in Aelin’s shoulder. 

“What?” Elide pulled back, shaking her head as she tried to breathe. Shock lined the features of Aelin’s face and she gaped. “Are you serious? You broke up?” 

“I don’t know,” Elide whispered, closing her eyes as more tears slid past her lashes. “I don’t know anything.” 

“Oh, honey, it’s ok,” Aelin shushed her and walked Elide into her bedroom, nudging her to the king sized bed. Elide had always thought her sister’s bed was ostentatiously big, but she didn’t complain or say a thing as she crawled in and sunk down on the soft mattress.

Aelin ducked into her walk-in closet to change after kissing Elide’s forehead and whispering, “Just breathe, darling.” 

Elide nodded and tried to breathe through her tears. She closed her eyes and all she saw was Lorcan looking down at her with utter disapproval.

I never should’ve trusted you. I never should’ve trusted you. I never should’ve trusted you. I never should’ve trusted you. I never– She couldn’t stop herself from spiralling and started to hyperventilate, not able to get enough air into her lungs. 

Her hiccups and desperate gasps for breath had Aelin running back in, tugging a sweater over her head. “Elide, oh gods,” she said, sitting on the bed and hugging her sister close. “Baby, I need you to breathe right now.” 

“He doesn’t trust me,” Elide sobbed, her throat burning raw. 

“Of course he does,” Aelin assured her, brushing back her hair and wiping her tears away. Elide just shook her head, shutting her eyes tightly. They heard the door open and Rowan called out Aelin’s name. The blonde got up and raced out, whispering the situation to him before returning. “He’s going out to get us food from Emrys’.” Elide smiled weakly and wiped her cheeks, dropping her hands into her lap. 

“I’m sorry for ruining your night,” she mumbled, sniffling loudly. “I just- I didn’t want to be alone.” 

“Oh, it’s fine,” Aelin said, waving her hand dismissively as she settled back against the pillows. “So, what happened?” 

Elide sighed shakily, picking at her nail. “We got in a fight last night. We were gonna talk about it, but something happened at the shop and then I was watching Ko–” she sobbed and leaned into Aelin. “And he broke his arm and at the hospital Lorcan told me he never should’ve trusted me to watch his kid.” 

Aelin shook her head and pulled Elide closer, “Honey, no, come on, he’s crazy about you.” 

“He barely talks to me anymore,” she admitted, her lower lip trembling. “You should’ve seen his face, Ae. He looked like he was regretting everything, us everything in that moment and I just- my heart hurts so much.” She pressed her hand against her chest, like it would stop aching for one blissful moment. 

All her sister could do was cuddle her close. They laid in that heavy silence that Elide broke by whispering, “I love him.” 

Aelin could only hug her tighter and rest her chin on Elide’s head, “I know.” 

+*+*+*+*+*+*

By the time the door to her apartment opened again, Elide had long since fallen asleep and Aelin carefully extracted herself from her sister’s koala-like hug to tiptoe out to her boyfriend. Rowan wore a stony expression as he passed her the takeout bag. “How is she?” 

“Heartbroken,” Aelin answered. Rowan reached down to smooth away the frown on her forehead when she lowered her brow. 

“Why are you so pissed now?” 

“‘Cause Elide is perfect for him. She doesn’t put up with his asshole shit. Usually,” she said, rolling her eyes as she crossed her arms.  

“Yeah, well,” Rowan sighed, glancing back through her open bedroom door at the small figure on the bed, “she’s not invincible.” 

Aelin had been holding off her anger, because it was so clearly not what Elide wanted, but Elide wasn’t awake right now. And nobody messed with Aelin’s baby sister like that. “I’m gonna kill him.” 

“Woah, woah, hey, easy now,” Rowan said, catching her arms and blocking her from the door. Aelin bared her teeth and wrestled against him to no avail. 

“Let me go,” she spat, a snarl curling her lip. “Rowan, I swear, let me go.”

“Ae, listen to me,” he said, his voice hard and serious enough that she stopped fighting to get to the door long enough to pay attention. “I agree - he needs his ass kicked, but not right now and definitely not by you. Lorcan is… not ok, alright? I know he said some fucked up shit and I know that he hurt your sister, but he needs space right now.” 

“Space?” Aelin hissed, narrowing her eyes up at Rowan, who remained impassive and unmoving. “He breaks her heart and he needs space?” She made a disgusted sound in the back of her throat and tried to move again, but his hold was like steel around her wrists. 

“If you push him now, Aelin, he will never come back,” Rowan told her, something like grief flashing over his face before he schooled his expression. “What’s more important right now? Beating him up in front of his five-year old or taking care of Elide?” Aelin rolled her eyes and looked to the side, but Rowan wasn’t having it. He switched her wrists to one hand and gripped her chin in the other, making her meet his eyes. “Huh?” 

“Yeah, fine, whatever,” she muttered, yanking her wrists away and glaring at him as she snatched the takeout bag and utensils. “Did you get drinks?” 

He scoffed and nodded, “‘Course I did.” Rowan gave a pointed look to the other bag on the counter and she opened it, smiling excitedly at what she found. “Well, I guess I should get going then.” 

Aelin nodded and pouted, walking over to him and leaning up to kiss him gently, “I think we can make up for no-pants night with no clothes night.” Without another word, she pranced away, waving her fingers before she shut the door. 

+*+*+*+*+*+*

Lorcan unlocked his front door and put Kohana down, trying to keep himself together as his son sat on their bench and he kneeled to help him take off his boots. 

“Daddy?” 

“Yeah, kid?” he asked absentmindedly, harebrained as he toed off his own shoes and hung up his jacket. 

“Where did Ellie go? She was ‘posed to tell me a story,” he said in his little voice, kicking out his feet and scrunching his brow. 

Lorcan stuttered in his movements, his heart dropping as he floundered for words. “Um, she- I don’t-” he breathed out heavily and crouched down in front of his kid, trying not to let his grief show. “Ellie had to go home, coconut.” Kohana giggled at the nickname. “And… I don’t think we’ll be seeing her for a bit, ok?” 

“Why not, Daddy?” His brow scrunched in confusion. 

“She needs a little space right now and that means she won’t be at home with us,” Lorcan said, trying to keep his voice clear and even. “But, you’ll see her at school still.” 

“Oh,” Kohana said demurely, frowning slightly. “Ok.” Then, he hopped down and padded over to the couch, where Tigger was. The cat meowed and turned to glare at Lorcan as Kohana crawled onto the chair. Tigger coiled in his lap and flicked his fluffy tail over Kohana’s cast, batting at it experimentally. Deeming it to not be a threat, Tigger settled down and turned his yellow eyes on Lorcan, no doubt plotting his demise. Lorcan didn’t blame him. 

“You hungry, Ko?” 

“Can I have chicky nuggies? Please,” Kohana asked, cuddling his cat and gently petting him as Tigger purred. 

“For sure, kid,” Lorcan said, pulling his phone out of his pocket and navigating to his UberEats app, ordering the child some chicken nuggets and nothing for himself. After paying and getting the half-hour wait notification, Lorcan went to turn off his phone, but was stopped. 

He stared at his home screen, at the picture of Elide, her nose scrunched as she tried to stop her smile. She was sipping iced coffee through a straw, as per usual, the sun hitting her eyes just right that they looked like pools of dark honey. Gods, she was beautiful. And he had ruined everything, utterly everything. 

Kohana’s sweet voice called him back to the present and over to the couch, instructing him to put on Space Jam. 

When his food arrived, Kohana was only able to eat a couple nuggets until he nodded off, half a nugget in his hand and the other in Tigger’s fur. Lorcan turned down the volume, unable to sit in the silence of his self-inflicted heart ache as he stared in the vague direction of the TV. 

It was just like him, ruining something before it got good. And Elide? She was better than good. 

She was everything.

+*+*+*+*+*+*

an: hm. well. 

@mythicaitt​ @tinywolfofeyllwe​ @schmlip-scribble​ @the-regal-warrior​ @empire-of-wildfire​ @rhysands-highlady​ @shyvioletcat​ @alifletcher2012​ @ttakeitbacknoww​ @tswaney17​ @ourbooksuniverse​ @flora-and-fae​ @thesirenwashere​ @queenofxhearts​ @maastrash​ @mynewdreamwasyou​ @cursebreaker29​ @superspiritfestival​ @empress-ofbloodshed​ @queen-of-glass​ @sleeping-and-books​ @beccasophia95​ @exersize-me-i-dare-u​ @thewayshedreamed​ @hizqueen4life​ @ifinallygavein​ @bat-wing-rhys​ @awkward-avocado-s​ @b00kworm​​ @mu-si-ca-l​ @lovemollywho​ @tacmc​ @soitsgorgeous​ @staarligght​ @starrynightsbooks​ @keshavomit​