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mrslilyrogers · 4 years ago

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Fall into Love

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Warnings: Awkward and cute reader ahead! Nothing but sweet and soft fluff :)

Summary: What’s an awkward scientist like you gotta do when you develop a crush on America’s national treasure, Captain America? Recruited by Bruce and Tony themselves to work at the Avengers Compound, you try your best to keep your cool. But how could you when Steve is always popping up to help you?

Author’s notes: It’s my birthday today!! Yay!! And to celebrate, I want to share this super fluffy piece I wrote for @hopingforbarnes 250 writing challenge. Thanks for letting me participate! I got the prompt, “This is why I fell in love with you” which will be in bold below. I absolutely loved writing this and being a fan of chick flicks, I went with that vibe. I hope you guys enjoy and please, let me know what you think! Reblogs are very much appreciated :D

There he was sipping his cup of coffee, one hand holding today’s newspaper as he read. You thought it was beyond adorable that he insisted on getting actual newspapers delivered to the compound when he could literally read it from a tablet. You even offered to install the apps for him but he declined, saying he was too old for it. And in that moment you just knew, with his winsome smile and his deep blue eyes, you were utterly done for. So there you were, surreptitiously stealing doe-eyed glances at him from your perch by the kitchen counter, your laptop propped up on the island. His eyebrows were knitted as he brought the newspaper down, jotting his answers for the crossword puzzle. When he beamed at himself, you knew he got it right. Cute, so damn cute.

“Ugh,” you groaned at your own patheticness. When his head shot up to look at you, you immediately cleared your throat and looked to your laptop, ignoring the heat creeping up your cheeks.

“Y/N, you okay there?” Steve asked, pencil in mid-air.

“Yep, just working on something!” You replied a little too cheerfully, your gaze not quite able to hold his. You were always this way with him, tongue-tied, flustered and all fidgety. It was embarrassing.

Come on, Y/N, pull yourself together! You have two PhDs under the age of 30. Unfortunately, that was also probably one of the reasons why you were so freakin’ awkward but you really didn’t have to dwell on that now. Shaking off that snide little comment from the back of your mind, you continued your pep talk. You’re a badass scientist, graduated at the top of your class, and working with the Tony Stark and the Bruce Banner, your freakin’ childhood heroes! He’s just a 100 year old man! You’ve got this.

You looked at him with a bright smile on your face, straightening your back to make yourself seem taller. More Confident. Mature. Womanly. Typing into your laptop, you pretended you were in the midst of a scientific research that would change the world. Except, it came up empty, the screen completely and irrevocably black. Oh, shit.

“Ugh, Y/N. I think your laptop is turned off,” Steve awkwardly told you, pointing at it with the pencil in his hand.

“Oh, yeah. Well, uhm, yeah it is… so, ugh, gotta go and charge this,” You flashed him a quick smile before you scrambled to your feet, your chair creaking as you pushed it back, grabbed your laptop and ran out of there as fast as you could. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Steve watched you, a perplexed look on his face. When you nearly stumbled out the door, he almost got up to help except you shot up faster than a speeding bullet. An adoring smile crept up his lips. Cute.

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It wasn’t always like that. It all started when the science geniuses offered an advanced intensive program at the university where you were finishing your second doctorate degree. It meant extra work and more late nights but you didn’t even think of that, you had jumped at the chance from the second you heard of it and the rest was history. You aced their classes with flying colors and by the time you graduated, they had already offered you a full-time position at the Avengers compound, to assist them with whatever scientific endeavor they needed. You would become their resident biochemist/engineering physicist, equipped with your very own office and given free reign to create, tinker or even upgrade their weapons and computer systems.

What you didn’t expect was how cozy living in the Avengers Compound would be. You thought they were a bunch of stuffy soldiers and spies with no time to deal with regular people like you. But as soon as you were introduced to the team, that all changed.

They had all been in the common area when you first arrived. The men along with Nat were huddled at the TV, concentrating on some sports game as they drank their beers while Wanda and Vision were laughing and cooking in the kitchen. It was all so surreal, your jaw had dropped to the floor. Who knew the Avengers could be so domestic?

“You’re starting to drool, kid,” Tony commented at your side, immediately stopping you from staring. You mumble out a sheepish apology, your cheeks starting to flush. He flashed a smile at you before turning his attention to the team, “Everyone, listen up,” he shouted at them, clapping his hands twice before continuing, “This is our newest scientist, Y/N! She’ll be working with me and Bruce mostly, helping us with weapons and equipment so be nice! Piss her off and you’re toast,” he teased, winking at you. You didn’t think you could get any redder than you were at that moment. You let out a nervous chuckle, giving a little wave to everyone,

“Hi! Don’t worry, I won’t do that. I don’t think I can even if I wanted to, look at all of you!” you joked and looking at their smirks and empty faces, you realized just how inappropriate that was.

“Not that I would want to of course! I mean, who would wanna kill the Avengers?” you continued to your own mortification, your mouth running on its own. You could feel prickly sweat down your back and you suddenly wished there was a hole that would just swallow you right that instant. Letting out a huge exhale, you tried again.

“Uhm, what I mean to say is that I’m very happy to be meeting all of you and I’m glad that I’m given a chance to work here and help in any way that I can.” you finished sincerely albeit sheepishly, shifting your weight between your feet and hoping you didn’t totally muck up their first impression of you.

Black Widow’s narrowed eyes eased up, arms still crossed at her chest, she gave you a little tilt to her chin as she smirked, “You’re adorable,”

You let out a huge sigh, beaming at everyone. Captain America nodded at you as if to say ‘well done’, and you felt your heart drop to your stomach. Damn, if that man didn’t spell out dreamy.

Tony finished the introductions and once you’ve shaken everyone’s hand, he was already moving, directing you to your designated room to drop off your bags so you guys could finish off your tour early and get to work. You were just about to carry your duffle bags, ready to drag your suitcase across their pristine marble floor when Captain America appeared by your side, “Hey, you need some help with those?” he asked, looking at your luggages. You had almost completely blanked when he stood so close to you. You could hear Tony’s voice getting softer and softer as he walked ahead, talking as he went. You nodded, not able to find the voice to speak. When he draped both duffel bags over his shoulder as if it weighed nothing, and pulled the handle of your suitcase higher, you objected, “Let me at least get that,” you tried to grab your suitcase from him but he swiveled it out of your reach, already moving to follow Tony. “It’s fine. This is nothing,” he said, smiling down at you.

“Thanks Captain. I don’t know how I’ll be able to keep up with him,” you replied, shyly smiling back at him and pointing at the man walking in front of you. He chuckled before letting out an exasperated sigh, “Oh, you’ll get used to it. And just call me Steve,”

Tony suddenly turned around as if just realizing you weren’t following at his heels. “Would you look at that?” He teased when he saw both you and Steve lagging behind him. “Chivalry’s not dead,” shrugging, he continued on, prompting Steve to shake his head at his friend.

When you both arrived at your room, You tried not to gawk but Tony Stark was definitely not cheap. They let you take it all in, practically feeling your excitement off your skin. Steve dropped your bags off on the floor before turning to take his leave,

“Alright, I’m off. I’ll see you guys for dinner,” his voice cut you out of your wonder.

“Thank you, Steve,” you beamed at him before he left the door.

“You’re welcome, Y/N,” he replied, flashing you a genuine smile. You watched his retreating figure out the hallway, your heart hammering in your chest.

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You had been working for the Avengers for two months now and you must admit you had easily become friends with all of them, jokes and easy conversation flowing with everyone except for one. Steve freakin’ Rogers. Oh, you were friends with him, you talked but the easiness was only one-sided. Every time you had a conversation with him, you felt your heart leaping out of your chest. Every single smile from him sent butterflies to your stomach. It was becoming a problem, your school girl crush making you look less professional and on top of that, you just knew the spies figured it out. Why else would Nat and Clint suddenly make up excuses and leave you and Steve alone again for breakfast?

You tried to ignore the fluttering of your heart as Steve made his coffee. Acting as normal as possible, you reached for the flour on the highest shelf of the cupboard, your hand coming up short. Uh-oh. Maybe, if you could just go on your tiptoes, you could get it, right? Wrong. You had been dead wrong. You wiggled your fingers, hoping you didn’t look like an absolute idiot. Oh God, have I been reaching for this too long already; past the point of asking Steve for help? If you turned around now and asked him, wouldn’t it be too awkward? But if you suddenly changed what you were going to make just because you couldn't reach the flour, wouldn’t that be too petty? Oh god, why do you have to overthink everything when he’s around?

Steve suppressed his laugh as he leaned on the counter, watching you struggle. How long was it going to take for you to give up? You were so different from any woman he’s met since waking up in the future, always so happy and cheerful with no guise whatsoever. You were a breath of fresh air, real, and so unlike all the other spies and agents he’s worked with, with their cold manner and calculating eyes. It didn’t take long for him to trust you. He considered you his friend and now, you were just beyond adorable. A crooked smile formed on his lips as he waited some more, enjoying the show far too much, his eyes involuntarily moving down to check your ass out in your sleep shorts. When he realized what he was doing, he blushed, and immediately straightened up to help you.

A huff fell from your lips as you decided, enough was enough. You turned around, ready to call for him, when you came face to face with his solid chest. His familiar masculine scent warmed your senses as blood crept up your cheeks. “Got it,” he said, holding the jar between you, a playful smile splayed on his perfectly luscious lips.

You cleared your throat, your eyes on his lips as you tried to find your voice. “Thanks Steve,” you replied just a little too breathily.

“Anytime, Y/N,” he smiled softly down at you, bringing his hand up to ruffle your hair. And just like that the romantic atmosphere was ruined. It was just on your part. Again.

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Months later

You were dancing carefree to the beat of the music blasting from your headphones as you cooked your dinner. It was late, you were sure everyone had gone to sleep so you were safe to boogie and shake your hips while you celebrated. You had finally figured out how to calibrate Black Widow’s newest weapon. It took you the whole night for the finishing touches, making you forget to eat but it was all worth it. You were on a high as you piled the pasta on to your plate, grabbing the still-too-hot garlic bread from the oven too early, making you wince as you put your thumb between your lips to lessen the burn. You didn’t hear the tired chuckle from the doorway when you shook your hips to turn around, refusing to let the scalding garlic bread shake your mood. You let out a tiny squeal when you saw Steve leaning against the doorway, decked in all his Captain America glory minus the mask.

“You’re back?” you shrieked, a hand flying to your chest as you tried to calm your racing heart, thanking god you didn’t drop your plate. “You scared the shit out of me,”

Steve had the audacity to look ashamed as he straightened. “Yeah, sorry about that, couldn’t help it. Please don’t stop on my account,” he teased, laughing, before a wince escaped his lips.

“You okay?” you immediately dropped your plate on the table and walked over to him, losing your nerve to even get embarrassed when he clutched his rib.

“It’s nothing, doll,” he replied, shaking his head, a faint flush casting over his cheeks as the endearment slipped.

You couldn’t help but be taken aback too. His voice had been soft and unconvincing unlike his usual steely, determined self. You laid your hand over the one still clutching his waist.

“What happened here? Are you hurt?” Concern seeped into your voice as you looked at him worriedly.

“It’s fine, really. It’ll heal fast,” he stepped away from you, making light of his injury. He didn’t know how to deal with anyone fussing over him.

“Let me see it,” you said, your voice firm for once in his presence, putting your hands on your hips.

“What?” he chuckled again, poorly hiding his hiss.

“Come on, Rogers, I’m a doctor. Let me see it,” you nodded to his injury, determination steeling your stance.

Letting out an exasperated sigh, he said, “Yes ma’am,” and gave you a mock salute.

“But didn’t you say you weren’t this type of doctor?” he continued, teasing, as he unbuckled his utility belt.

“Don’t get sassy on me now, Rogers,” You rolled your eyes until he started to peel off his uniform, then you lost your breath. You felt your cheeks flush at the forced intimacy of the situation, your resolve withering as you shifted your weight between your feet, crossing your arms at your chest. Should you even watch him take his top off? You didn’t want to look like a creep so you focused on the wall behind him.

When you heard him wince, your eyes shot back to him as he struggled to lift it over his head. Your hands moved of its own volition, gently helping him. Once that was over and done with, you looked up at him, his chest panting.

“May I?” you asked, your slightly shaking hand gesturing to his undershirt. He nodded and you let your hands lift his shirt off gently, but what greeted you made your jaw drop open. The skin on his right rib was marred with a big dark patch of purple and blue, almost appearing black. Around it, littered lighter and smaller versions of it, a few cuts here and there. On his arms, his pecs, on the side of his jaw that you didn’t even notice awhile ago.

“Steve, what the hell! This isn’t nothing! Can you even breathe properly?” You asked worriedly, running your hands over the cuts and bruises.

“Yes, Y/N. I told you this is normal. This happened just a few hours ago, it’s already healing. I’ll be fine,” He once again explained to you stubbornly, a soft smile playing on his lips.

“Sit down, you need to put ice on that and I need to clean your wounds,” You rushed off to get the things you needed before pulling up a chair beside him. He watched you as your hands worked practically over his injuries, pride swelling in his eyes. There was a strange fluttering in his chest that he didn’t dare acknowledge. He wouldn’t admit it to himself but he only objected more to your ministrations because it made you double your fussing.

“All done,” You cheered to yourself as you started tidying up.

“Congratulations to you,” he replied jokingly, moving to help you before you swatted his hand away. “Stop, just keep that ice on your rib,” you told him seriously, getting up to bring back the first-aid kit to the cupboard and throw all the used up cotton. He was the worst patient there ever was, complaining and whining all the way through.

“Yes, boss,” he deadpanned, loving the blush that tinted your cheeks.

“Hey, have you eaten dinner already? You hungry?” you asked him, washing your hands.

“Dinner? Y/N, it’s 2 am, how have you not eaten dinner yet?” This time it was his turn to be indignant.

“Well, I was working,” you replied matter-of-factly as if it was the most normal thing in the world to forget to eat.

“Jesus Christ, I ended up taking down a terrorist base camp and I still had time for dinner,” he huffed, furrowing his eyebrows.

You scooped up a plate for him anyway, making sure to double the serving. When you dropped it in front of him, you noticed he had put his shirt back on again much to your displeasure. What can you say? The guy was chiseled like a greek god. It didn’t hurt to look at him.

You both started to eat in peace, the awkwardness settling in. You had no idea why he wasn’t talking. He was usually cool as a cucumber while you were a blubbering mess.

“So how was--”

“I didn’t know--”

You both started at the same time causing you both to pause then laugh heartily. When he winced and clutched his rib again, you quickly apologized before he shushed you. “You go first,” he said, drinking water as he tried to hide his pain.

“Do you want to get an x-ray? Make sure there’s no broken bones?” You asked, worry seeping into your voice again.

“Doll, I told you. This is normal for me, part of my job.”

“But I thought you said this was a simple covert mission, no fighting involved. They should’ve added more guys to go with you,” you frowned at him which made him chuckle lightly, his heart flipping in his chest at your concern.

“That rarely happens. Really, you should see the other guys,” he made a joke of it to calm you down. Unconvinced, you smiled tentatively at him, thinking if you should still push the subject when he steered you to a different topic, asking about your work. You had explained to him animatedly about the progress you’ve made so far that you didn’t even notice how easily you guys had flit to different topics, talking about any random thing that popped into your minds, smiling and joking like it wasn’t almost four in the morning.

When you went back to your room that night, you snuggled into your blankets, giggling. You had finally been able to talk with Steve without acting like a love-sick teenager. And it was everything you thought it would be.

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After that night, you guys formed an unspoken ritual. Every time you were working late and forgot to check the clock, Steve would bring you food to your lab, reminding you of your much needed dinner break. The first time it had happened, he walked in on you snacking on some m&m’s while you continued to work. He had groaned and lectured you on about how m&m’s and any form of chocolate was not considered dinner food. So after that, he took it upon himself to make sure you had something substantial to eat, often bringing his own cooking. You had talked about everything and nothing, some deep conversations that could only be shared through trusted friends while others had you both laughing deep from your belly with tears brimming your eyes. There were times when he had been relentless with his training too, even the rest of the team had left him alone to it, and you had to drag him away. Those days you had to remind him there was no war anymore and a little break was fine. You dragged him to watch movies, listen to music he had missed and, tried out those hole-in-the-wall types of restaurants where people wouldn’t recognize him.

Steve had just gotten back from a mission with Sam and Bucky. Both boys grunted as they sat at the kitchen table, clutching their drinks.

“Man, I could really use a shower right now but I’m too tired to move,” Sam quipped, massaging his neck muscles.

“I’m gonna order us a pizza,” Bucky said and eagerly whipped his phone out. Ever since he got off the ice in Wakanda, he’d been obsessed with all the “new” technology he’d been catching up on. He sure didn’t look it but he was a science geek at heart. Often going to you for help with everything he’s missed. The guys both looked to Steve questioningly, expecting him to butt in. He usually had a lot of input after a long mission. They were greeted by silence as he had his back to them, retrieving the first-aid kit from the cupboard. When he continued to ignore them as if he hadn’t heard anything they had just said and walked to the direction of your lab, both Sam and Bucky looked at each other, knowing smirks on their faces as they nodded their heads. America’s golden boy was whipped.

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Tony and Steve had been arguing in their usual banter at the lab. The super soldier looked like the worn out parent between the two while the genius billionaire gloated at his misery. Steve was wearing a black long-sleeved sweater that did nothing to hide his muscles despite its regular fit. You couldn’t help but steal glances at him from your station with Bruce, the two of you working quietly with an occasional chuckle or two thrown at the bickering men in front of you.

Bruce cleared his throat when he caught you staring far too long at the golden-haired adonis, not paying attention to the question he was asking. You quickly averted your gaze and asked,

“I’m so sorry, what was that?” you felt your cheeks warm as he looked at you with an endearing smile.

“I said, could you please pass me that sample?” He pointed at your hand clutching the petri dish.

“Of course!” You replied, handing it to him before hiding behind your laptop to record the results of your experiment.

“Will you quit acting like a grandpa for just a second and ask Sharon out? You guys clearly hit it off at the last mission. I don’t know what the hell is taking you so long,” Tony muttered as he tinkered on.

You and Steve’s eyes snapped to each other, almost as if on instinct, before you quickly lowered yours and hid your hurt behind your laptop screen. Bruce didn’t miss the subtle exchange and tried to distract Tony off from the subject but still, the man was oblivious.

“Tony, would you just quit it?” Steve complained exasperatedly, a sigh escaping his lips.

“I’m just saying, Cap. You’re a hundred years old, you aren’t getting any younger, pal,” he continued on.

Before Steve could say anything else, you made a show of stretching out of your chair.

“Oh boy, I need some coffee, do you guys want any?” you asked as cheerfully as you could, looking for an escape.

“Oh you just read my mind! Didn’t I say she was the best?” Tony asked rhetorically, his hand gesturing to you as he looked at the men in the room. You missed the way Steve’s eyes had softened when they landed on you. The only reason he was even here.

“I could use one right now, angel. Thank you!” Tony continued, using the nickname he had given you since you started working here, giving you a quick smile before going back to work.

“I could use one too, thanks.” Bruce nodded at you.

“Alright. How about you, Steve?” you turned to him, your heart beating rapidly in your chest as he looked at you, an endearing smirk playing on the corner of his lips while he shook his head no.

“I’ll go with you, help you carry it.” He said, already standing up.

“What? Pssh. No. It’s fine, I got it.” You dismissed him playfully, leaving the lab as fast as you could, a weight in your chest as Tony continued to berate him into asking Sharon out on a date.

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You decided to get Steve coffee anyway. You knew he was only being a gentleman because he didn’t want you having a hard time carrying all of it back to the lab. Grabbing some snacks too, you made your way back, a tray balancing on your hands when you heard Tony scream your name. Uh-oh.

You opened the door to see Bruce and Steve laughing their asses off while Tony looked at you with murder in his eyes. “Did you just hack my playlist and change it all to spice girls?” he bellowed over the music, hands on his hips. You couldn’t help the laugh that escaped your lips. It was supposed to be a prank between the two of you. He said you couldn’t hack into the system he created and you just had to prove him wrong. You thought you had put a timer on F.R.I.D.A.Y to just change it when he was alone. Guess you weren’t as good a hacker as you thought you were.

“Sorry,” you shrugged sheepishly.

“You don’t even look sorry. You could at least tell me you saved my old playlist,”

Uh-oh. “I think so?”

“Oh, come on!” he whined.

“Sorry, but you questioned my hacking skills!” You replied indignantly.

“Because you’re not a hacker!” he emphasized each word, making you giggle.

“I really am sorry! Look, I’m sure if there’s anyone here who could get it back, it’s you.” your sickly sweet voice belied the trick you still held up your sleeve.

“Damn right, I could,” he replied arrogantly, typing into his hologrammed board as he gave instructions to F.R.I.D.A.Y.

You sipped the coffee in your hands, hiding the smirk on your lips. Bruce thanked you for the wonderful prank and you gave him a little curtsy in return as he grabbed an extra cinnamon roll, still smiling. All the while Steve looked down at the tray, his insides warming at your thoughtfulness, you had brought him his favorite yogurt and fruits knowing he’d prefer those over the sugary treats. He was suddenly pulled out of his reverie when Celine Dion’s haunting voice rang out, almost making him spit his coffee out of his mouth as he burst out laughing, watching Tony’s face get flushed. He turned to you as you carelessly threw your head back, laughing. Anyone who could take Tony down a peg, he admired, and knowing that it was your brilliant mind that had the genius sputtering in annoyance made him love you even more.

“Oh doll…” he exhaled. “This is why I fell in love with you.”

Everyone in the room suddenly stilled. Tony’s audible, “Oh” popped in the background making Steve screw his face up in confusion. What the heck? He saw your eyes widen, your cheeks turning beet red. Oh crap.

He said that out loud, didn’t he?

#steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #captain america x reader #hopingforbarnes250writingchallenge #steve rogers fluff #steve rogers fic #steve rogers x awkward!reader

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unsettledink · 4 years ago

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Back in the days of LJ, I used to try and do a post at the end of each year, looking back primarily at fandom and fic. I fell out of the habit when everything moved to tumblr, and then it seemed like I didn’t have anything to say since I wasn’t writing or really participating any.

But I always liked the idea of it, because I love to be overly reflective on stuff. And talk about my fic. Any excuse! I shuffled around some of the topics I used back then and added a few I’ve seen around that I liked. It got… long, because I TALK, so I split into two sections.

Your main fandom of the year?

Marvel (MCU) for sure. Primarily with characters from Spider-Man and Iron Man movies.

Your favorite film watched this year?

The Old Guard - I saw a couple trailers and everything about it looked like catnip. ‘It’s probably going to be so dumb, but I don’t even care,’ I thought. And then it was so good. It was so much fun and so much smarter than I expected and I loved each and every character and it just made me happy in so many ways.

Your favorite book read this year?

Red, White, and Royal Blue, Casey McQuiston - I read it twice this year actually. It’s so… cute isn’t the right world. Sweet and hopeful and soft and comforting and intense. I liked every single character which is pretty rare. I cried during the sad parts and then again at the happy ending, like straight up sobbed - both times. I already want to read it again.

Your favorite tv show watched this year?

Schitt’s Creek - I started it on a whim and because a lot of people had said it was good. The episodes were short so it wasn’t a huge time investment. The first season was a little rough, but there were enough funny moments that I hung on, and then… I kept getting fonder and fonder of these idiots as they grew. And THEN… it kept not disappointing me?

You grow to expect certain scripts, twists, jokes, especially in queer story lines. To wait for the bad thing to happen, because it always does. Instead, Schitt’s Creek kept going, ‘hey, here’s the set up for that! Guess what? We’re not doing it. Here’s the happy version instead.’ The relief of having that happen again and again - the last season I’ve watched (I’m sort of saving 6) I cried a bunch but it was always because I was happy.

Your favorite album or song to listen to this year?

1896 - I’ve been waiting for the new Steam Powered Giraffe album so eagerly for aaaaaages. Finally getting recordings of Zero’s songs! Lying Awake remains my favorite off the album, with Eat Your Heart and Bad Days on the Horizon high up there as well. I’m loving what Zero brings to the band.

Your best new fandom discovery of the year?

I don’t know if I really did discover that much? I stuck pretty closely to old fandoms and the ones I picked up in 2019. Maybe Zodiac? It was definitely inspiring, and I want to write and read more in it.

Maybe the couple discords I joined? I still really dislike discord and am not on there much, and mostly lurk when I am, but having somewhere vaguely like the comms I remember makes me feel a little less isolated. It’s the potential, that maybe if I said something I might make a friend, or someone might actually want to hear what I say.

Your biggest fandom disappointment of the year?

The Watch - I mean, I knew it was going to be a disaster with every word said during pre production. I wasn’t ever going to be happy with it. And then it came out and was even worse and uglier and … disrespectful not just of the source material but of actual people connected to Terry. I’m beyond disappointed that this is what we got, and it’s probably going to be a long time before we get anything else.

Devil All the Time was terrible, but I didn’t have especially high hopes. It still didn’t manage to meet them. Yikes.

The most missed of your old fandoms?

Maybe MASH? Someone I follow started talking about it and I was reminded all over again of the wonderful fics in that fandom. I went looking and a lot are gone (still on my computer, lol, but not online), but rereading was such a trip. A slightly depressing trip, but still.

The fandom you haven't tried yet, but want to?

Hmm. I’ve kind of not had the energy to invest in other fandoms at the moment? When The Witcher was having it’s big moment back in January, I had a feeling I might enjoy it enough to fall headfirst into the fandom, so I avoided watching it. Ikr? I don’t have the time or the energy to actively seek anything out.

Your biggest fan anticipations for the New Year?

SO EXCITED about Winter’s Orbit. I mean, the third Spider-Man movie for sure, with worry. The second Venom movie, ugh yes. I have tentative hopes for Jungle Cruise? Jumanji was stellar and I always enjoy Dwayne. I have both hope and dread for the new Suicide Squad - I did love Birds of Prey, so if it’s along those lines, yay. The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard because it should be some fun garbage, my favorite kind. I don’t know how I feel about Dune, but, uh, I’m anticipating it. It seems highly unlikely it will actually happen, but The Wheel of Time TV series.

I want to be excited about Black Widow but it’s hard. It’s not the story I’ve been wanting to see, and I’m angry about Natasha not getting a movie until she’s dead.

You know. If any of it is released for real.

The Good:

I moved to a better place. I got a better paying, better benefits, better environment job that lets me work from home. The house acquired 3-7 more cats depending on the month. I was able to get some serious problems on my car fixed. I have insurance and was able to start on some health stuff. No one I know got sick or died. I wrote a LOT.

The Bad:

Aside from the obvious? Depression hitting extra hard during the winter. Having to put two kittens to sleep. Have my car be hit three times in our parking lot. Being driven INSANE by one of the cats for months while the vets were all closed. Kidney stone. Dealing with several health problems. Stalling for months on Gotcha.

The Indifferent:

Not leaving the house often or easily. Enjoying a new fandom but not doing great at making connections (still real awkward, bud). Raising kittens and saying goodbye. Need new tires. Reading a lot of fic but not a lot of books. Having more pay but more expenses as well (wth insurance??).

2020 fic stats

Number of stories: 39

Number of fandoms: 6? Or 2, if you cluster the others under mcu

Total number of words: 152049

Average word count per story: 4kish

Longest fic: Causality (18k, P/Q)

Shortest fic: Can’t, Won’t (1k, P/Q)

Most comments received: Sieche (49, T/P)

Fandom you wrote the most of: MCU Spider-Man - I only wrote TWO fics that didn’t feature that fandom, wow. And one of those was still MCU.

Fandom you wrote the least of: Zodiac (1!)

Events you participated in: Marvel Trumps Hate, Kinktober, IornspidersGeorg Exchange, Starker Festivals Exchange, MCU Secret Santa, Spiderio Big Bang

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you'd predicted?

SO MUCH MORE OMG. I mean, even just counting posted stuff! (I probably wrote a solid 300k of Gotcha this year.) I did not expect or plan on doing Kinktober, so that’s a whole 31 fics right there. I also wasn’t planning on doing any exchanges - I have a History - but then I did three? And beyond that, I did not expect for everything to get so LONG.

Topic you wrote that you would never have predicted in January:

Tony/Quentin. Goddammit @the-me09 They were like hey, they could be interesting! And while I agreed, I had no ideas for them. THEN they had to go and write Just Bodies That Collide and next thing I know, I’ve got ten fics featuring them and two-six series focused on them or Peter/Quentin/Tony. What the fuck.

Leitmotif of the year:

Vulnerability, I think. I had a bunch of things typed up and they all circle back to vulnerability in the end; sex, being seen, being wanted, sharing trauma, asking for help, trying something new. Offering a soft spot in the hopes it won’t be hurt.

Favorite character to write about:

Tony Stark, for sure. There are just a bunch of slightly different takes, and a lot of canon to work with (kind of frustrating too though). And I’m a sucker for emotionally damaged snarky traumatized characters that are viewed poorly both in universe and out.

Favorite kind of fic to write:

This year? Fluff and smut combined. Maybe that’s not the right term really. I keep looking for and writing, even in the angstiest fics, for those soft moments. Sure, maybe it’s a super smutty kink scene, but I want the affection to be obvious. Maybe everyone is consumed by guilt, but I want it to be based in caring too much. Maybe there’s no real love, just sex and even that’s messed up, but I want to find that tiny bit of fondness.

And I want happy endings. Or endings that look like they’re going to be happy, at least, even if there’s all the angst first. I don’t think I’ve killed anyone this year? Who AM I?

Biggest disappointment:

Not finishing the rough draft of Gotcha. I was making such good progress in 2019, from August to December. Even after the move, I basically finished part 6 in January. I fumbled around and fussed with 1 a lot, but that had already been given one draft, really, and I got through half of 4 before I slowed to a stop. I’ve barely gotten anything accomplished on it since June. Bits and pieces here and there, but nothing significant, not like I was doing. I can excuse October, due to 80k invested in Kinktober (yikes!), but aside from that… I’m sad. I’ll finish it eventually, but I really thought I could have the first draft done in a year. I’m sitting at about 480k out of what I’m almost certain will be 700k.

Biggest surprise:

Kinktober! It was kind of spur of the moment, decided just a week in advance. I’ve tried month long or even like, 20-25 day long challenges and I don’t think I’ve ever completed one. I thought there was a good chance I’d do so again, so I gave myself a little help and made my own list of prompts, things I knew I liked and hadn’t done much of yet. And it worked? I actually completed it, what the hell? Despite spending five days travelling near the end! Despite falling behind in getting ahead and writing a bunch of stories the day they were to be posted! Despite apparently forgetting how to do short form!

I, uh, could have done without the spawning of eleven series or sequels or continuations jfc WHY SELF.

Something you learned this year:

Ideas breed ideas. I swear to god, the second I sit down to think through a current idea, I wake up the next morning with three more.

Words need to be restocked. I need to consume new - not rereads, not fic - content every so often to refresh my word bank. It is astonishing how quickly writing goes again after I’ve done so.

I can write so much more than I thought I could. I can do so much more than I thought I could. Yes, I can complete challenges without dropping out early. Yes, I can do exchanges and not regret it. Yes, I can write more than 100k, more than 200k, more and more - and I can write 10k+ easily too. Though I wouldn’t mind if I could once again write less than 10k without feeling like I’ve cut off in the middle.

My time is shrinking, and if I want to write as much, I’m going to have to make the time. I can’t rely on three days off a week, on seven hours of uninterrupted overnight shifts, on hyper focused writing binges that leave everything else around me on fire.

Most memorable comment:

So, so many! I can’t pick one. I’ve been really lucky to get a bunch of really detailed, enthusiastic, analyzing comments across all different fics. One of the types that always sticks with me are the ones like ‘I didn’t think/know I liked this ship/kink/twist, but fuck, apparently I do? You made me, what the hell?’.

What, if anything, are you going to try to do differently in your writing in the new year?

So with writing Gotcha but not posting until it’s done, my view of what I’ve written vs anyone else’s is extremely skewed. I’m sitting here thinking, hey I’m 400k in and got another 10k done today, so much writing! While anyone looking at my AO3 account (for most of the year) is like, you’re averaging three months between fics :(

All that to say I want to try and get something posted more frequently while I’m working on Gotcha.

Also, writing for kinktober was really interesting - pushing myself to write every single day, often for that day’s post, forced me to get back into shorter form fic. Which used to be all I did? But it was surprisingly hard to just stop and not write more. So I’d like to challenge myself to write more fics under 10k at least. Maybe even under 5k though that might be asking a lot lol. I might get there with the many continuations of those fics I’d like to do. Does that count?

Goals:

I want to hit 365 fics. :) I’m only 32 away!

Aside from writing -

I’ve really enjoyed the reading record sideblog I started this year. I’ve let it lapse a little the past month or so, but I’d like to keep it going strong.

I’d like to leave a lot more comments. I want to get better about allowing imperfection - I want to write The Best Comment, but in the end? Probably 90% of fic writers are going to be happier with a comment expressing enjoyment in any way over no comment at all.

And not just on fics, but on general posts as well. It’s hard not to feel… weird and stupid and invasive and rude leaving any sort of comment on someone’s post if I don’t know them at least a little. I have godawful rejection sensitive dysphoria and a lot of interactions that ended poorly; I’m really not good at people. But as dumb as it feels to say those things, I know I am thrilled and warmed and happier when there’s a reblog with tags or a note or a comment or an ask or just, any small interaction that shows someone out there notices and cares, at least a little. There’s no reason I can’t at least try to offer that to other people.

I’d like to make/run a couple challenges of my own, later in the year. I’m still figuring out what I want to do and what I could do. I’m really interested in doing something that’s not focused on creators, but the readers; some sort of comment or rec challenge maybe.

I want to find a cheerleader for Gotcha. I’m struggling to keep up my motivation to write it when it’s already in my head, where I can ‘read’ it any time. There’s a line between depending too much on external validation and trying to generate all your validation yourself, and I’m getting to a point where I think I need to ask for help (gasp! The hardest thing EVER).

(Part Two: Pick Some Fics)

#end of year #unsettled rambles

4 notes · View notes

moonfox281 · 7 years ago

Note

Do you accept prompts? I love your racer Au and the mob wive series!! I was wondering if you could write something with the boys taking care of a baby, even if it's just babysitting?

Et voila!

Baby

(Word count: 8,984)

Click on the potato for ao3 link.

(Great thank you to my friend thatssirgoddamnbatmantoyou for helping me edit this work.)

Bruce was Batman, he was the fucking Batman and that meant trouble, problems, danger, and angst, lots and lots of angst in that life that Jason had no intention of into digging further. Every night that man put on a cape and went out to fight for this beautiful but rotten city, they all did, and all of them knew the thing they did, the life after dawn that they were living, was a game of Death.

So far, it was a tie. Everyone lost once, and man, didn’t Jason hate the feel of it. But they had all come back, because this life, this city, they just couldn’t leave it like this. Gotham was hideous, dirty, corrupted and poisoned in every way, but she was their city.

Jason loved her. Bruce loved her. But she was cruel, even to her own saviors. He had always known she would be the doom of Bruce. One day, she would cast a curse on Bruce, and put an end to all of this. Jason had known it, seriously, because any idiot who knew Bruce would have gotten it, but no, he had never thought it would happen in this way.

“What the fuck happened?”

Dick looked back at him, still in the Nightwing suit, sans the mask, a tired and awkward smile on his pretty lips.

“It’s complicated.” Dick handed over the kid to Alfred and slumped down into the nearest seat his legendary ass could find. He looked exhausted, like shit had hit the fan and he needed at least 2 days sleep to gain back his strength.

Jason didn’t mind giving him that.

The kid tucked tight at Alfred’s collar and looked at Dick with big blue eyes like he was ready to jump back into his lap at any second. Alfred saw it too, because of course nothing could possibly get out of his sight in this house.

“Master Dick, I believe Master Bruce here enjoys your company far more than mine.”

Master Bruce?

Oh, fuck him.

“That’s Bruce?!!!” He shouted, voice rough and loud, echoed to every corner of the Cave, scaring the bats on the ceiling.

“Jay, just…” Dick opened his mouth to speak, but bit back and shut his eyes, pulling his lips tight together. Shit, Dick looked like shit.

The kid looked at him like Jason was a two-head monster, tiny little fists held tight to the fabric of Alfred’s shirt and oh my fucking God, he was gonna−

Too late, the kid started crying. His face pushed up and his mouth opened wide and fucking bawled like half of the Cave had crashed down on his head.

“Look what you did.” Dick murmured tiredly and got up. Immediately, those tiny hands reached out toward Dick, demanding for the man’s embrace. Dick took the kid back into his arms, let his head rest on his shoulder and rubbed his hand gently on the kid’s back as tiny sobs slowly went under control.

Alfred arched one of his grey brows because, apparently, the kid fucking liked Dick.

Jason stood there, dumbfounded like an ape because what else was he supposed to do? Dick had gotten a call from Bruce last week, asking for help on a case and his bird had flown right away from his place and their so-called one night stand that had turned out to be all night stand because Jason couldn’t keep his feelings in check when it was Dick and Dick alone. Not that Jason was mad at him for that… okay, he was a little, but he was a grown-ass man and Alfred had taught him to share, so Bruce could have a piece of Dick if he needed.

He hadn’t let Dick go here for this kind of shit.

He looked at Dick and turned his eyes on the kid, who was making himself comfortable on his bird and slowly dozing off. Jason felt like he needed to shoot someone.

“Who did he mess with this time?” He spoke as Alfred went to stand next to him.

“A dark force of magic, as it might seem, young sir.” That coming out mockingly in Alfred’s British accent did not make any bit of this look less like a joke.

Jason wanted really badly to swear or to put his frustration somewhere, but no because Alfred. When he had gotten the call from the Manor with a tired Dick on the line and the background noise of a crying kid, Jason had gotten to the point when his life needed a stronger word than ‘fuck’.

He waited until Alfred thought it was a good time to go prepare stuff for the morning and approached Dick. He looked drained, his boyfriend, lover, fuck buddy… whatever it was, it’d been a year, Dick refused to touch the subject, and Jason just didn’t care, as long as he got his hands on Dick’s skin, got to touch him and watch him sleep in his bed, in Jason’s bed, then it was okay.

He brushed the knuckles of his gloved hand on Dick’s cheek and watched those sparkling blue eyes shut close with a low hum in his throat. His long lashes fluttered, making Jason’s heart shake a bit.

“There was… this witch, I think. She was planning for something at the Gotham Dock, took a lot of work for Bruce and me to get her, but not after she cursed him with some dark spell or something, I don’t know.” Dick breathed out, one palm pushed up against his temple. “I really don’t know.”

“It’s okay.” Jason said, even if it was not okay. All he wanted now was to drag Dick back to his safe house, spoon him up and just sleep ‘til the end of this night. But one could not simply get what they wanted.

“He was still fine when we got back, then suddenly a headache, then poof.”

Dick could not imagine the immensity of the fucks Jason did not give about what had happened right now. But he let him talk, because Dick looked like he would pass right out if he didn’t do anything. The kid in his embrace slept soundlessly, eyes close and cheeks puffy. Man, if Jason could take a picture.

“There is still some stuff she left behind at the Dock, I need you to collect it and give the area a check. I have to contact Constantine, see what he can do with this situation.”

Yay, another ticket in for the member of Nightwing’s psychotic dark men fan club.

Jason was having a hard time keeping his anger and jealousy in check because when you got to be with a guy like Dick Grayson, you got all delusional like this real easily. Dick hated it when he was like this though, hated when Jason was jealous, hated when Jason acted possessive, because that meant they had gone too deep, had taken this too far to the point that it could not come back the same anymore, or maybe it was because he was afraid of the fact that Jason had gotten under his skin just as badly as he had with Jason’s.

A year of fooling around, and Dick still wanted the ‘brother’ tag to stay on, to stay on so when things crashed and burned, he could show it out to people, to Bruce, to Jason, and to himself, that all they had had was not real, so it wouldn’t hurt, so it wouldn’t pain.

Dick was an idiot.

“I’ll be right back.” He leaned in to kiss Dick’s temple, knowing well Dick would sit in front of the Bat computer later to delete the scene from every camera in the Cave.

When he came back, Dick had changed back to his comfortable sweats and tee and was sleeping in front of the screens, undoubtedly too tired to notice Jason’s Bat version of footsteps. The report was already finished, and tiny Bruce was nowhere to be seen, Alfred must have taken him to his bedroom.

Jason squatted down to admire his sleeping face. He took off his glove and reached out to brush the dark locks out of Dick’s eyes, lightly stroking the cool skin of his cheek. There was something about being able to see the perfect and mighty Nightwing this vulnerable and undeniably sweet that made Jason’s stomach heat up.

Dick unconsciously leaned into his touch and murmured something in his sleep, making Jason burst out a breathy laugh. This man was like a giant cat, all lacking bones and emotional attention craving. He gave the silky black mess of Dick’s hair a light stroke, holding back the urge to kiss him right now right here because cameras.

He streamed through the report for a few minutes, filled in some spots, then called it a night. He lifted Dick up and smiled when Dick rubbed his face against his chest, didn’t forget to give the security system a check, and waved his middle finger to the nearest camera before leaving.

He dropped Dick at his old room, tucked him warm and comfortable under the blanket and finally got to drop a light kiss down on his raven hair. He smelled like peach; clean, sweet and refreshing, it tempted Jason to give him a playful bite.

When he got out, he made a bee line to Bruce’s room, heart pumping in every weird way for whatever he might see behind the thick wooden door. If this was a normal day, a normal time, normal in the Bat category of normal, he wouldn’t be standing here, right in front of Bruce’s bedroom, fighting between opening the door and running back to his safe house. His relationship with Bruce had never been a beautifully smooth road, if there was one way to describe it, it was like the map of Utah, ugly and bumpy and not great for your ass.

It was never great for Jason’s ass, but God must give him some credit because he bet the world it wasn’t great for Bruce’s ass either.

But that was another time, normal time; today, nothing was normal. Nothing about Bruce getting knocked down by some voodoo was normal, and nothing about leaving Dick here dealing with the current absence of Batman in Gotham was normal and fuck any mighty spirit up there if Jason was gonna let her munch Dick like she had with Bruce.

He pushed the door, breathed in and out and slowly made his way to the king size bed. The kid was sleeping, Bruce was sleeping, so peacefully and defenselessly Jason never thought he could be capable of. He looked like a perfect replica of Damian ten year younger, paler, less aggressive, and so innocent-looking.

Had that fucking curse taken away Bruce’s brain of an adult too, Jason had no idea. But so far, this Bruce had acted like a true kid from core to cover. Jason didn’t know what to do, or why he was even here. He hadn’t been trained for this, to deal with this. Jason hadn’t braved himself to go here for a tiny puffy looking Bruce, he had marched his way here for Dick with the thought of another half-blood child that had been produced because Bruce couldn’t hold back his dick. He wouldn’t leave Dick to deal with that, but now he himself was dealing with this.

Would Bruce turn back to normal? Did he even know Jason? Would he remember anything when this mess was all over?

So many question, so much stress, and looking at this kid version of the Dark Knight didn’t help his aching head at all.

“What have you done this time, old man?”

He asked, stroking the kid’s head, with no true interest in finding the answer.

When he turned back to the hallway, walked upstairs and pass Dick’s room to his, something held him back. Something stopped his hand from meeting the doorknob. Something that was Bruce not being here, or not really here, and he couldn’t do anything to stop this. There wouldn’t be eyes on him and a certain big old Bat breathing down Jason’s neck if he did this. So, he stepped back away from his door and back to Dick’s.

He couldn’t help but smile when the sight of Dick sleeping, face half buried under the blanket, hit his eyes. His bed or not, watching this flawlessly beautiful face loosen every muscle to just relax and let it all go for a few goddamn hours did things to Jason’s chest, made his blood run hot to the tips of his calloused fingers, lightly numbing.

Jason took off his jacket and everything on his body that made sleeping uncomfortable, stripped down to only his boxer and climbed into the bed. Dick had curled up into a large ball of warmth and coziness, mewling out so soft and sweet when Jason’s warm chest covered his back. It made Jason sigh in satisfaction, pleased by being able to finally lie down, by being able to hold Dick tight again, right in this bed, in this house, without any threat or chances of getting caught.

Feeling victorious, Jason buried his nose into Dick’s neck, and dropped off for what felt like eternity.

When he woke up, his hands were empty, and the wrinkled sheet next to him was cold.

Dick Grayson was an idiot.

Gosh, he was an idiot.

“No no no no!!! Put that thing down!” Dick rushed over to Bruce, who had somehow magically escaped Alfred’s watch and followed him into the Cave. He pealed the taser gun out of tiny hands and set it somewhere high enough that Bruce’s corgi legs couldn’t help him reach for it.

Bruce pouted and god, it was the goddamn cutest thing in the world. He only stopped when Dick pushed his big old blue elephant plushy into his tiny everything body. Jason was having a hard time excepting this reality.

“How did you get here? Where’s Alfred?” Dick picked Bruce up when short legs tried to run after him and failed miserably.

Bruce pointed back at Jason, who had just been here for a few minutes and finished giving Dick his report. So, the kid had followed him all the way here and god, if Jason hadn’t been too distracted by the sight of Dick in the cowl, he would have noticed.

Dick glared at him and Jason could only put his hands up in defense because hey, Dick always went catty when he was Batman, the cowl had that effect on him, and Gotham was beautiful and sexy and all that good stuff, but what a bitch she was to her people.

Dick walked back to the computer with Bruce on one hand and resumed the conversation on the screen, Jason could spot the League’s members in there.

“I see what you meant earlier.” Diana smirked while eyeing Bruce with interest.

“Oh my God, is that actually Bruce?!!”

“Yes, he is. Now, can we go back to the bigger issue?” Dick said, shutting off Hal’s laugh because hey, he was the Batman, he was in charge now and he was doing a spot-on job of it. Dick was the leader that Bruce never could be, and people actually respected him rather than being scared or angry sometimes like with Bruce’s Batman.

Jason watched him talk from behind, and didn’t say anything when Kid Bruce snuggled close into Dick’s chest and looked up at him with big blue eyes. Bruce sometimes turned back to look at Jason, like he questioned what the hell he was doing in here.

Jason avoided his eyes because it was hard to see the man he sometimes exchanged fists with in this version.

Next day’s morning, Jason regretted accepting Dick’s request for help because now he had to deal with a Bruce that took scaring Jason as a great joy of his life.

“No… don’t you da−JESUS FUCK!”

Jason flung himself over to catch Bruce’s fall from the book shelf, successfully catching that bean bag weight and shielding him away from the very heavy books that were falling from when Jason’s body slammed into said shelf.

When the last novel, which weighed like the goddamn original bible fell onto his head, Jason took one silent minute to run his head through the question of what the hell he had got himself into. Six thugs in an alley couldn’t even bruise him this much.

Jason had been running after this little guy on top of his chest right now for the whole fucking day. He didn’t remember if he himself had ever had this much energy when he had been this little, because Brucie here had literally sucked the living life out of him. Earlier today, Bruce had almost successfully snapped Jason’s arm in half when he’d been in the gym with him and had decided that playing with the 250lb barbell while Jason was doing bench presses would be a good idea.

Tim had called today, said he wouldn’t make it ‘til next week, so the little shit decided that abandoning Jason alone with tiny Bruce wouldn’t burn the Manor to the ground. Dick had left Gotham this morning to go lead the League, leaving Jason to wake up with a cold bed, again, and to deal with Bruce all by himself because Alfred suddenly thought the house needed some groceries and wouldn’t be back for the next couple of hours. All the other traitorous idiots who called themselves family had agreed to help Gotham, but refused to set foot inside the manor until Dick got back, and still, they had the nerve to demand photos.

Aside from the fact that Jason was giving each of those bastards a crowbar for Christmas this year, he needed Dick or Alfred now before he snapped.

Bruce poked his head up and laughed, all teeth and tongue when he crawled off Jason’s chest and ran to his next game. Jason, who was currently in his tank and sweats, took a deep breath and ran off to his next battle, shouting after Bruce to slow down and not do something stupid, which was completely pointless.

Dick returned early the next morning, just to find Jason sleeping on the floor of the guest room, bruised and wrecked, looking like he had wrestled with a bear all night long.

“No!” Bruce pouted, pushing the spoon full of zucchini and corn away, making Alfred frown and Jason’s forehead twitch in a distinctive way.

Bruce had been behaving all dinner, grabbing a car toy in one hand and eyes glued to Dick across the table. He had even eaten the appetizer and main dish all by himself, had tumbled with the heavy silver knife and fork a bit, but still. Things all went down when Alfred noted Bruce had all but abandoned the salad on the side of his plate.

“Eat your vegetables, Bruce.” Dick said, eyes still look down to the papers on his hand, meal barely consumed because his fingers were busy holding a pen more than a fork.

Bruce pouted when he didn’t get the attention he wanted. His arms waved around like a rooster and the car toy went flying, knocking down the candle holder in the center of the table.

“Master Bruce!” Alfred raised his voice, disappointed but not angry. If anything, since Bruce got stuck with this stupid curse, Alfred had smiled a lot more than Jason had ever been able to see. Clearly, a father always loved to see his child being a child again even when they had all but grown up. Unfortunately, Jason wasn’t Alfred, neither was he anywhere near to being happy.

“Can’t you just leave him?” He held tightly to the fork in his hand, doing his best to stay sane when the table shook violently under Bruce’s kicks. “Missing a little green won’t kill him.”

“Nonsense, Master Jason. A child’s body needs vitamins and dietary fiber to grow and avoid chronic diseases.”

“Bruce, stop kicking the table or I won’t let you have dessert.” Bruce’s feet stopped right after Dick’s words ended.

Wow, what kind of sorcery was that?

“Master Dick, eat your dinner too. The work can wait.”

Yes, that was exactly what Jason had been dying to say but didn’t dare to. Thank you, Alfred.

In defense, Dick only smiled then turned back down to the document in his hand. Jason was on the verge of burning it all and dumping the whole dish of food into Dick’s mouth because this guy hadn’t eaten anything the whole day, and gosh, Dick wasn’t Bruce to push himself this much. Dealing with the League and Titans and Gotham and the world at the same time, Dick was a human being, not a brick wall!

Bruce stayed nice until desert came and boy, so much joy could pop out of that sulky toddler just by Alfred’s chocolate pudding. Dick dismissed himself when a call came and it was Wayne Enterprises, when Bruce was unavailable and both Tim and Damian were busy, the duties fell all on Dick’s shoulders.

Bruce spotted Dick leaving the room and quickly shoved the rest of the pudding into his mouth, making a mess on his face because, clearly, even when little and without vengeance, The Dark Knight still needed a Dick Grayson in his life. Hell, everyone who had met Dick needed a Dick Grayson in their life.

Jason sighed and dropped his spoon, shoulders dropping and eyes glaring toward Alfred because he was sure that frown on his wrinkled forehead spoke the same thought with him.

“I’ll make sure he eats something later.” He smiled; no need to worry the old man anymore, Alf was living in the dream with little Bruce being little again and not being Batman.

He followed Bruce’s pouncy feet to the office, watching that tiny figure peek behind the ajar door. Dick was on the phone, voice tight and serious. He sighed here and there, picked up papers and pens and started writing and faked laughter. Something about that sound made Jason wince.

Bruce looked back and up to him because Jason had more or less moved right behind him to peek in too. Those enormous puppy eyes were now on him and arms suddenly came out.

“Up, up.” Bruce spoke slowly and steady, heavy on the “p” and sounded so damn adorable that it must be illegal for the Dark Knight to look like this. Jason understood it now, whoever that witchy bitch that had put Bruce into this form was, she was evil, real evil.

Jason took a moment to look back into the room at a still busy Dick and back at Bruce’s demanding arms. He licked his lips before slowly picked Bruce up, sitting him nice and tidy on one forearm, and didn’t cringe when soft small arms wrapped around his neck.

They both stood there and waited, watching Dick play Bruce Wayne for Gotham. Everything about the scene was wrong, Dick in an expensive suit with a business case, working on a computer and talking on the phone, voice serious and face emotionless. Dick Grayson and the word “emotionless” alone was a wrong combination.

Bruce made a small protest noise, one hand reached out toward Dick inside the room. The little guy wanted some of mommy’s warmness, apparently.

“I know, buddy.” Jason whispered and steadied Bruce back on his arm. “I want him too.”

They continued to wait all night, until Alfred appeared behind Jason’s back, announcing it was late for Bruce’s bed time.

“This is a gun,” Jason waved the object in front of Bruce’s eyes. “Which is not something you should touch. Are we clear?”

Bruce’s head cocked to the side and a hand reached out to touch the barrel. It was unloaded, of course, Jason wasn’t an idiot. The point of this whole session was to show the kid what not to touch, not to help him kill himself. It better work though because Jason always carried at least one or two guns or daggers with him even in sweats and a tank, the last thing he needed was Dick slapping the shit out of him if Bruce somehow managed to snatch one of those things off of him and toy with it while being carried around.

No, Jason definitely didn’t need that.

“And this, is a Taser, which is something you did touch, remember?” Jason went on to the next weapon on the table, waiting for a nod that never came. “We are not going to repeat that.”

Still, Bruce gave no response, just rested his hands on the table and looked at all the different kind of weapons Jason had pulled out on it.

“And this is a Batarang, it has sharp blades on it. So no touching, roger?”

Bruce’s hand reached out to touch it anyway.

“NO! What the fuck did I just say?”

Bruce thrust his hand right back when he heard Jason snap, eyes wide and neck retracted. He looked like he had seen a ghost, mouth twisted and oh god, here it comes.

Bruce cried like the world had fallen apart. The sound ripped through the air and hit Jason like a full speed truck, draining blood from his face and turning his limbs clumsy.

“Oh shit, okay… Um, what do I do?” Jason rambled and ran over the other side of the table to pick Bruce up. The guy still cried like a thunder storm and the sound of it was running right into Jason’s ears.

Jason tried to mimic the way Dick shut Bruce’s rant down the last time he saw it, swaying his legs and making pissing-like noise but man, it wasn’t working at all and damn, he remembered Bruce being a lot more cooperative with Dick than with him right now.

His ears felt like they were gonna bleed with Bruce crying right next to them, and his head hurt all over. Realizing he wouldn’t ever succeed because he didn’t have that magic Dick possessed, Jason left the Cave with Bruce in his arms and ran up to the house, looking for Alfred because Dick was out playing Mr. Son of the CEO again.

Right when Alfred’s figure came in sight, Bruce’s cry turned louder and louder. His hands reached out for the old man and legs started kicking like Jason had tried to butcher him or something. Alfred only gave him a look when taking the weeping mess away from Jason. Jason’s shoulders dropped because dear fucking god, this was hell. He’d thought nothing could be worse than dying and crawling back to life, but no, this was just downright terrifying. Jason was good at rescuing and saving kids, not taking care of them. That was Dick’s job, but Dick wasn’t here, and Jason suddenly didn’t feel like loving him much now for leaving him like this.

Lunch turned out pretty peaceful with Bruce occupied by a bunch of action figures that Dick had bought him yesterday. It was wrong and somehow oddly satisfying watching Tiny Batman play with another tiny Batman in his hand.

Dick was nowhere to be seen throughout the whole meal, no phone call, no text message. Jason figured that meant he was gonna have to spend the rest of the day with Tiny Bruce. And speaking of the devil, Bruce was looking at him with eyes of a new born puppy, head cocked to the side and mouth full of food. Jason snapped a picture with his phone for the zillionth time since Bruce had turned out like this, because why the hell not. Jason always kept blackmail material for everyone, literally everyone, even Dick.

Jason later on remembered to keep an eye on Bruce in the gym, being extra careful while doing weight-lifting because no, he still remembered what had happened last time. Bruce stuck to every one of his footsteps, climbing up Dick’s pommel horse to watch Jason do his usual boxing routine with the sandbag. The kid took watching Jason’s workout as a leisure, even rolled down the matt, crossed his arms on his chest and tried to copy Jason’s fast movement while doing sit ups. It was terribly endearing seeing him like this, and Jason had to actually stopped a few time to just laugh out loud while watching Bruce fail repeatedly and roll around with a frustrated face.

Bruce didn’t seem to mind the sticky sweat on Jason’s body at all, because he climbed up and sat right on his back when Jason got into position and prepared to do pushups. The feel of Bruce’s featherweight and soft skin with warm touch shot a light electric shock down Jason’s spine, and, surprisingly, Jason found himself loving it. Bruce twittered merrily when Jason’s body went down then up, loving every second of it. Jason giggled too, because Bruce’s high-pitch laugh was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard.

And when Bruce lied down and touched his soft rotund cheek on Jason’s bare back, he couldn’t stop smiling for the rest of the session.

He had known for a very long time that Dick had been born to be a great parent. The man could wear his heart on his sleeve and sway everyone around him with his kindness and affection, such a ball of joy in this dark dark world. Something about watching Dick holding tiny Bruce in his arms, smiling so gorgeously, shinning warmly like the goddamn sun that had never really paid much attention to Gotham’s sky, made Jason know that Dick was made to be loving and tender. He would carry on both the Mom and Dad role perfectly, because this man had just been born like that.

Here Jason was, standing dumbfounded in the kitchen doorway, unable to move his eyes away when the sunlight from the full glass window hit Dick’s beautiful smiling face at just the right angle, watching Bruce’s eyes shine a clear blue as they were glued to Dick’s lovingly. The whole scene made Jason’s heart warm comfortably, made him feel the same peacefulness like when he wrapped Dick tight in his arms and they just slept together on rainy nights.

Seeing Dick with the kid in his arms, laughing and loving, made Jason feel… whole. Watching these two acting like this filled in the spaces Jason had never thought were empty, satisfied cravings he had never thought he’d been hungry for.

Bruce’s tiny hand reached up and grabbed Dick’s nose, eyes huge and so clear.

“D.” He blurted out, a high pitched sound like a squeaky toy.

Dick breathed out and laughed and gosh, he looked like the sun of a tropical island.

“That’s right, Bruce. That’s my name.” He beamed brightly, making Jason’s heart flutter in all kinds of ways. He let Bruce nudge his head into the corner of his shoulder, legs slowly rocking around like a mother trying to sooth her kid back to sleep. It took a few swings for him to turn back and notice Jason standing there, leaning into the doorframe.

Dick smiled at him, so sweet and pretty. God, Jason fucking loved that smile.

“Hey.” Dick chuckled when Jason walked over and kissed his nape, wrapping his arms around that small waist.

“You’re up early.” He nuzzled against Dick’s neck, trying not to laugh out loud when Bruce looked at him with questioning big blue eyes. His hand reached out to touch Jason’s cheek, and Jason let him.

“Wouldn’t hurt if I do once in a while.” Dick was a morning person, Jason could swear on his old grave that he was. But night life and daily issues took a chunk out of Dick’s time and energy, leaving him always curled up in a bed longer than Jason and mumbling for a few more minutes. Jason loved it though, loved the sight of Dick sleeping and not seeing how much Jason loved him.

“Want breakfast?” He murmured into Dick’s neck, kissing the cool peach scented skin. Whatever shower gel Dick had been using recently, Jason loved it. Bruce’s hand had moved up to grab onto his hair, and Jason felt like he could stand just like this forever.

“That would be great.” Dick smiled, turning his head to kiss Bruce’s hand and Jason’s head. “Would you want breakfast from Jay too, buddy?”

Dick turned to Bruce, smiling all perfect white teeth. The kid tilted his head and smiled back, eyes squeezed into two tight lines as his hands waved around in excitement.

“Well, that must be a yes.”

Jason found himself peeking at Dick playing with Tiny Bruce behind his back way more than a few times while waiting for the eggs. He went over to the fridge to get some fruit and noted Alfred lurking behind the door way, motioning a silent finger to him as the butler continued to watched Dick and Bruce laughing with each other. There was this light in his eyes that shined with happiness and relief Jason had never seen before. The old man’s forehead was wrinkled like he might cry at any second, eyes pinned on the figures playing in his kitchen, in the Manor kitchen, filling the space with laughter and great delight that this old place had long forgotten.

Whatever the curse was, it had given way more effect than it had to Bruce. Alfred was being emotional, Dick was pushing himself for the sake the Batman and Gotham, and Jason, Jason was feeling weird. Weird because seeing Dick, Bruce and Alfred like this, all together and free from responsibilities, stretched his lungs tight and stirred his stomach hard. And he loved it.

God, he fucking loved the feeling of it.

And then Alfred’s eyes were on him, and it spoke something. It spoke something that was so hopeful and happy and Jason couldn’t bear to admit that he understood it all.

He looked back to Dick and the kid in his hands and gosh, he realized it now. This was everything he’d never thought he needed.

Jason was never the best at holding back, was never the champion of temper control. No, he got his strength from his anger, got his power from rage, Dick should know that. He knew that. And yet, he just kept doing this.

“Stop… fuck, just stop, okay?” Jason snapped, ripping the reports out of Dick’s hands as his voice found its way out of his mouth both louder and angrier than it should be. “Take a break, sleep a little, eat something, I don’t know, just fucking stop doing this.”

Dick glared at him and right this moment he looked just like Bruce, cold and scary and nothing he should be.

“Thanks for the concern, but Gotham and Manhattan need a protector.” He snatched the papers back from Jason’s hands, not caring how his action surprised Jason, how much it angered him.

“Don’t fucking think you’re in this alone. What about the Titans? What about Cass, Tim, Steph, Luke and Harper, huh? What about me?” Jason roared, voice kept getting louder and louder and his control slowly sank into the mud of darkness. “Are they just for show? Do you really think they are that helpless? Do you really think I’m that useless?!”

“Don’t say thing you do not know, Jason. The Titans without me, who do you think would lead them? Roy?! Luke broke his arm three nights ago, Cass, Harper and Steph together is not going be enough to fight the breakout this time, and Tim has to focus on finding the cure for Bruce’s curse. We are understaffed, lacking support with Kate overseas, and Arkham is ready to fall. If you really think I can trust you anywhere near the Joker then this conversation is over.”

Dick took a moment to just breathe, pressing down the anger that Jason knew had been building up since the first day he had to wear the cowl for Bruce.

“Situations like this are calculated and this is exactly why I’m here to do the best that I could.”

Jason sighed through his nose angrily, unable to just think or see clearly anymore because there was nothing they could do when Bruce was out of the game like this. Dick was doing Bruce’s job, was doing what Bruce would do and was saying exactly what the man would say. Jason was torn between anger and feeling wretched. Because Dick was right, and Jason hated when he was right like this, hated when Dick was right when he wore the cowl, hated when Bruce was gone and all this shit had to be on Dick’s shoulder, and fucking hated that right now the only thing that helped the guy function was probably will power.

And Jason couldn’t do anything about that.

“I don’t know… fuck, I fucking don’t know, okay? Just eat something. You look like shit, and shit won’t be able to do much help when the breakout falls down on our heads.”

“I ate dinner−”

“Yesterday’s dinner!” Jason cut in, hands waving and body looming because Dick needed to fucking see how vulnerable he looked right now, how tired and angry and not himself he had become.

“Or did you? I can still remember clearly you bit the pen more than Alfred’s cooking last night, and the night before.”

Dick’s face darkened and this, this was exactly why they both hated it when Dick had to be Batman.

“Damian refuses to come home until Bruce turns back to normal. I can’t leave Wayne Enterprises going to chaos because of it.”

“It won’t and you know it. Bruce got Lucius for this obvious reason, but no, you just gotta go. You can’t even stay at home and Bruce cried today because you weren’t there when he couldn’t find your Zitka plushy.”

It had been hell this morning, Bruce had sniveled for what had felt like forever, torturing Jason and demanding for Dick who, at that time, had been away playing Mr. Son of the Billionaire. Remembering about this morning did not help Jason’s temper at all as his voice got louder and angrier.

“I have you for situations like this.”

“This is exactly what is wrong with you. The kid needs you and you don’t give a fuck? Keep being delusional if you want to, but I’m not you. I’ll never be you and you leaving the house like this is not what Bruce needs.”

“Oh, so you suddenly care and know what the kid needs now?” Dick huffed, turning toward him and eyes on fire. And Jason, Jason was furious.

“Don’t you dare,” He pointed an accusing finger toward Dick’s face, voice purring like a raging wolf. “Don’t you dare open your mouth and say something like that again. I’m here and only here because you asked me to be, I do all this shit for you and for you only because I fucking love the asshole you are right now. I may not be the child type but I do give a fuck about the kid to know what is best for him.”

“You−”

Dick was ready for something nasty to come out, to fire back at Jason just as hard and hurtful, and Jason, Jason was ready too. But something in Dick’s eyes changed and suddenly, Jason realized he wasn’t looking at him anymore, but over his shoulder. When he turned back, Bruce was standing there, peeking around the rock wall of the Cave, face scared and red like he was about to cry. He was holding Zitka tight against his chest, the same damn toy that had given Jason one hell of a nightmare in broad daylight today.

Seconds of pure silence passed by, then tears from his huge blue eyes fell like a dripping tap, tiny hiccups and sobs came out and both Jason and Dick were left speechless.

Bruce dropped Zitka down the ground like that toy didn’t mean a damn thing anymore, and moved toward Dick as fast as possible with those unsteady toddler legs. He came to Dick’s feet and arms up, demanding to be pick up like usual with a wet mewling face. Jason could clearly see the anger and that ugly distant eyes of Dick melt right off his face, replaced by such a hurtful and confused expression that had Jason’s heart throb uncomfortably.

Dick picked the kid up like it was his instinct, and right away, that tiny face pressed into the crook of his neck, soft pinky cheek resting on his shoulder as wet blue eyes stared at Jason like they were haunting him. Bruce wrapped his arms around Dick as much as he could, holding on so tight the cape wrinkled under the force of tiny fists.

“Oh, it’s okay, buddy. It’s okay.” Dick smoothed his back, eyes closed and tired. “We weren’t fighting, we’re just…”

Dick stopped, because he didn’t know what else to describe it as, because they were actually fighting, and there wasn’t any denial for that. Dick looked like he was lost, like he was ready to fall to his knees and never get up again, and Jason, Jason couldn’t stop staring at him and Bruce’s eyes.

Then a tiny hand came up, palm opened and closed toward Jason’s face. His feet slowly made its way closer to Dick, to Bruce in his arms so the kid could touch his face. And when he did, Jason was left breathless and shaking.

Bruce’s crying had stopped somehow, only the tiniest sobs came out weakly from Dick’s shoulder, and his small and soft hand had slid down to grab onto Jason’s jacket. It was a mystery how such a small and weak hand could have the strength to pull the 215lbs body full of muscle close and tight to Dick’s side, Jason had no idea. But he didn’t complain, gosh, he couldn’t complain. Because the moment Dick’s body made contact with his chest, his hands had come out to hug that slim waist like that was where they belonged.

“We’re okay.” Jason whispered, dropping his head down a little as Dick turned to look at him, eyes so blue and open Jason could see the whole ocean in them.

“We’re okay.” Dick whispered back, voice so soft and full of breath as he pressed his forehead against Jason’s and relaxed his body in his embrace.

They all stood still like that until Bruce fell asleep, and when he did, Jason kissed Dick like he always did, soft and slow and just gentle, only lips touching because despite everything, this was them and who they were when together.

When Jason came out of the shower, Dick had already changed the sheets. He was lying face down, arms tucked down to hug the pillow like a cat guarding his meat in sleep. His face was half covered by silky black hair, still slightly damp from the shower he had taken before Jason. Beautiful blue eyes Jason knew too well were closed shut, face relaxed and lips parted slightly. Moments like this were when Jason realized that maybe he had loved this man forever, and that even with all the wars and battles and pain waiting to crash down on their lives, he would never feel anything different.

Jason crawled into the bed, smiling like a damn fool when Dick mumbled something non-English and kicked the blanket. Their naked skin touched and pressed tight to each other as Jason slowly wrapped his arm around Dick’s waist and tucked the other under that sleeping head, resting his palm on his shoulder like a muscle bond. Dick had spoiled him thoroughly because it was all thanks to him now that Jason found sleeping extremely uncomfortable without being able to just hold Dick tight and feel his warmth and beating heart like this. Dick’s hand crept up to touch Jason’s, soft cheek brushed against his forearm before his head turned and greeted him with a dazzling smile.

It’d been raining heavily outside, at this late, with this weather, crime more or less stopped even for Gotham. They had been informed a storm was heading toward the city and would likely to last till the end of the week.

“Hey.” Dick had shifted to lie face to face with him, bare chest pressed close to Jason’s, so warm and soft it made Jason’s head numb for a few seconds.

“Hey.” He smiled back, leaning a little bit forward to press a kiss on Dick’s nose, just to hear him giggle playfully.

The storm was quite bad outside, lightning and thunder pouring down like the gods were doing battle, striking sounds echoed in the air, even through the thick bulletproof glass of the Manor. They could get a couple of good hours before the sun came up, if it could with all the dark heavy clouds. Jason had more or less forced Damian to come back to take care of Wayne Enterprises, because a) the kid did it way better then Dick, it was what he had been trained for since in the womb, and b) like he had said before, Jason kept blackmail material on everyone. Plus, the kid loved Dick, so of course he would come back, he chose to stay at the penthouse though, but Jason was too happy about that to complain.

Dick yawned and made Jason follow him, eyes sleepy and hair messy. He let out those small satisfying purring noise that Jason had gotten used to, arms and legs went up, ready to climb Jason.

They wrestled around for a moment, breathing and laughing out loud, fighting against the thunder and lightning outside. They didn’t do this for sex, didn’t do this because having Dick pinned down the bed really turned Jason on. No, they did it because sometimes it just came out of nowhere, when they looked at each other’s eyes and just wanted to do something crazy and childish together. Because they had reached the phase when sex wasn’t enough anymore, when cuddling on the couch and watching some drama series was more tempting than watching the other strip off, when spooning all night and waking up together meant more than hot make out sessions.

Jason had stopped climbing out of Dick’s window about a year and a half ago, then Dick had stayed for breakfast instead of leaving right when the sun came up like he had used to. Now they lived together, and sometimes when Dick went away, Jason thought about getting a pet, but a dog would be spoiled by Dick too soon, and Jason already had one human sized cat already.

Dick fell onto Jason’s chest, laughing and looking more beautiful than anything Jason had encountered within his life. He let Dick kiss him, grinning ear to ear as his hands crept up to pull off Dick’s boxers.

Dick was moaning something so erotic into Jason’s ears that got his junk rock hard in 3 seconds when the door creaked and an innocent face poked in, throwing off both of them.

“D?”

Dick scrambled and fell down the bed as Jason hurried to pull Dick’s boxer back up and covered his own boner.

“Ye..yeah? What is it, buddy?” Dick flushed bright red, trying his best to sound normal but failing miserably.

Bruce looked at both of them then pointed his hand toward the window where they could see and hear the thunder and lightning kept striking down just as hard as the heavy rain. Bruce’s face twisted and all Jason could think was damn.

Dick turned and looked at him, eyes saying things Jason wished he did not understand. Dick’s smile was so soft and sweet it was like everything good in this world.

“Are you scared?”

Bruce nodded eagerly, holding Zitka so tight into his chest it looked like the toy might sink into his tiny body. Dick was looking at him again, and Jason, Jason was in hell. This was hell because all those puppy eyes were on him, he couldn’t say no to the kid, and had never be able to say no to Dick, so, damn them.

If Bruce wanted to join them, he really didn’t have to torture Jason with a face like that.

“Alright, come here.” Jason sighed and patted the mattress, couldn’t hold back a snort when he saw Bruce’s eyes light right up like fairy lights. The kid ran right over to their bed, giggling all the way. It had Jason’s stomach twitching uncomfortably when thinking about how a bowl of sunshine like this grew up to turn into an angsty mess.

Dick scooted over to make a place for Bruce in between them, blushing a little when Bruce eyed their naked features with confusion.

The storm outside continued to ravish down, but if the kid was actually scared of thunder, he didn’t show it now. Right now, he was grinning ear to ear as he lied down and tucked close into Dick’s chest, rubbing his chubby cheek into the warm chest like a little kitten. When Jason looked up a little, those eyes Dick was giving him, they were so beautiful it drained all the strength out of his body.

Somehow, it pulled out a smile on his face, this scene. Looking at the two most important men in his life curled up into a huge ball of coziness and affection did things to Jason, did things that made him feel whole like he never had before. So, Jason lied down, hugged both Dick and the kid close with his massive arms, felt their warmth and smiled all the way to his sleep.

Morning came and had Alfred finding them sleeping together on the bed with Dick facing away, Bruce’s legs resting on Jason’s neck and one of Jason’s dangling off the bed.

Bruce turned back to normal after two weeks, two weeks that had felt like two months and maybe more. They started fighting the moment he was back, because this wasn’t Tiny and Cutie Bruce anymore, this was Big Ass and Jerk Ass Bruce that sometimes made Jason’s life a living hell, and also, because Bruce was back and back to being Batman, didn’t have a single clue as to what had happened, didn’t even give Dick anything more than a short ‘thank you’, didn’t realize how Dick had to use concealer for the dark bags under his eyes, didn’t realized his company was still there and breeding money because Dick was there before Damian decided to step in, and Bruce also didn’t notice the way Alfred looked at him in silence while holding the tiny clothes tights in his hands.

World’s Greatest Detective his ass. Also, Steph had cried a little because the man was back to normal before she got a chance to see the kid.

When they were back to Jason’s safe house, everything went on just as usual. They talked, they ate, they went on patrol and slept together. Everything was back to normal aside from the part where it wasn’t. Sometimes Jason heard noises, sweet giggles and laughter that were never there, every sit up he did, Jason expected to see a face that was never there next to him, every meal they ate Jason stared at the empty chair on the side of the table and imagined things he shouldn’t imagine. And sometimes, sometimes Jason saw Dick in the kitchen, expecting for a never coming figure to come and hover around his legs.

Jason knew this was wrong, knew he shouldn’t feel like this, but he did anyway.

When it rained again in Gotham, they spent their night on the bed, glued to each other and tangled in the blanket. The TV flashed lights and colors around the dark room as the sound of raining kept them company through the night. Dick was lying on his chest and thinking out loud, and Jason, Jason just laid there and listened to the sounds outside the window, listened to Dick’s silent thoughts, and kept waiting for a once familiar face to poke out around the doorway.

When the movie ended and commercials started to run, Jason found himself holding Dick tighter.

“Let’s get married.”

That came out of nowhere, but again, it felt like it had been there in every nook of Jason, lurking under the skin and waiting to break out. Dick went stiff in his arms and after what felt like forever, he finally turned his head and looked at Jason. His eyes went wide and questioned things he didn’t dare to voice out loud, because if he did, then maybe Jason would deny it, brush it off like some lame joke.

Jason saw that, knew what Dick had in mind, and that, that was probably the only insurance Jason had to know he wasn’t the only one.

“Marry me,” He repeated, smiling because he knew what Dick was thinking right now. “And let’s have a kid together.”

Because he had never thought he needed this kind of life, this kind of commitment, but the curse, Bruce and the last two weeks broke something new in Jason, made he realized that hugging and kissing like what they had tried in the past year wouldn’t ever be enough for him.

Normally, saying things like this out loud took a chunk out of Jason, but the rain, the incident with Bruce, and the way Dick was looking at him right now, with those ocean eyes shifting from surprised to desperate, the words had come right out of him as naturally as breathing. And Jason, he didn’t regret it at all, because Dick kissed him, and smiled so beautifully it ached just to watch.

Yeah, never thought he would say this one day, but Jason was happy.

They were happy.

#jaydick #prompt #Jason Todd #dick grayson #bruce wayne #Alfred Pennyworth #my writing

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