#still unable to sleep keep getting the most random awful flashbacks

[genderqueer-hippie]

._.

[jinxbloodmoon]

Oh my god Omegle!

Oh god please let the Loki be on here! Okay okay.. I was on omegle doing a frosthawk rp which I will add and they mentioned a link to continue and it never showed and they left and please please please if you’re this Loki, please, message me since I didn’t get anything. Anything!!!! I can’t send a link and I can’t send you a message and I can’t go on or whatever you said so please be on here and find this!!!!

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You both like ironfrost, loki, frosthawk, and frostiron.

Stranger: Banishment was not something Loki had been expecting when Thor had turned him over to his father. Odin had said he had to be punished by living as a mortal and had stripped him of his powers and armour, then cast him back to Earth. When he awoke he was lying in an alleyway, looking up at the one place he had hoped he'd never see again; Stark Tower. He looked around but nobody seemed to have noticed him lying in the alley, though now he had sat up people were shooting him funny looks, which he returned with steely glares. As he pulled himself to his feet the first drops of rain fell on his face and he scowled. Directly across from the entrance to the alley was what appeared to be a service door on the side of Stark Tower. As thunder rumbled above him (how he hated thunder) he decided that it was the last place anybody would look for him and headed over. The door was closed but thankfully unlocked, and he slipped inside unnoticed.

You: (Reading)

Stranger: (Thanks)

You: Clint couldn't sleep and he hated it. Ever since Loki had gotten into his head, all of his fears came alive and visited him quite regularly. He hardly slept, hardly ate, and if anyone even tried to touch him or raise their hand near him, they were put on their backs or on their faces rather quickly. He couldn't take this tower anymore. People were too happy, too relaxed. They always invited him into their conversations, offered a drink, food, movies. But he didn't want anything. He just wanted the nightmares and flashbacks to stop. Rubbing his fingers through his hair, he sighed softly. He would need to take another walk again. It was the second one today. And it looked like they wouldn't be stopping anytime soon. He never left the main entrance, mostly because by now the citizens of New York City called them heroes and they were on the level of celebrities, if not higher. That and anytime that door opened or closed, Tony and nearly everyone else knew about it. No, this was better. Tony always kept the service door unlocked since they were still in the middle of reservations. He grabbed his coat and was walking down the hall when he heard the service door open and close. Putting his back against the wall, he frowned, scowling as he saw Loki. No, not dreams when he was awake too! Blinking, he looked away scowling. "Go away.. just.. go away."

Stranger: Loki jumped at the sound of the voice, turning quickly to find it's source. So much for sneaking in undetected, without his magic he was essentially mortal and evidently unable to sneak around without an invisibility spell. On the bright side, without his magic he had no connection to the Tesseract or the awful creature controlling it. "Agent Barton." He replied, hiding his surprise behind a mask of disdain. "I'm afraid I cannot do that." At least not until the thunder had stopped. No, he was safer inside. Despite his lack of magic, Loki still had his strength and fighting skill, he was sure he could fight Barton. On closer inspection, Barton didn't look good. There were bags under his eyes from lack of sleep, his skin was pale and waxy and he'd clearly lost some weight. Perhaps Loki wouldn't need to fight him at all.

You: "Oh yes you can just get out of my damn head. You're torturing me enough in my sleep. Can't you give me some kind of sanctuary awake?" Clint shook his head, sighing as his headache worsened. Damn it now he was hallucinating. If this went any farther he'd have to admit himself into a psychiatric ward. And wouldn't that be a fun evaluation. Oh he could see it now. Hi I'm Clint Barton, the better half that tried to destroy New York because I was mind controlled by an alien with a temper tantrum and now he's constantly in my dreams and I'm hallucinating him. Please drug me! He frowned at the thought and sighed, sitting on the ground. "I just want to be left alone."

Stranger: So Barton didn't know he was real? Interesting. "Oh, you've been dreaming of me?" Loki forced a purr into his voice, stepping closer but remaining mostly in shadow so Barton wouldn't see he was without his armour. "How cute. I didn't know you cared." If Barton thought he was a figment of his imagination, then perhaps Loki could hideout here for a few days. Of course messing with Barton was an added bonus. "If I left you alone would you miss me?"

You: He scowled, covering his ears. God that purr, he couldn't stand it. Shivering, he gritted his teeth. "No no.. hell no. I would never miss what you've done to my damn head you bastard!" Clint shivered, knowing he was losing it. He had acted so strong in New York but it was fake. It had to be fake. He couldn't take it anymore. Cursing, he hugged his knees, trying to block out the sound of Loki's voice or anything that was going on. "Please, I just want to go for a walk and clear my head. Please, leave me alone. Haven't you done enough?"

Stranger: "Oh but I think you would." Loki no longer had to fake the purr in this voice, it rumbled in his chest with savage pride. "I think you like having me around, otherwise why would you conjure me when awake?" He stepped closer, watching Barton's arms wind around his knees, hugging them to his chest. He seemed to be losing it? Maybe Loki was going too far? "Clearly you and I have some unresolved issues, you must have something to say to me or why would I be here?" He kept the sneer in his voice, if only to keep up the pretence that he was imaginary.

You: Clint was quiet for a few minutes and it almost looked like he had snapped. But he slowly looked up, studying the man in front of him. Something wasn't right. He was scared and frustrated and wanted to be left alone but there was something else. Something not right. "What the hell are you doing here? Unresolved issues, you brainwashed me!" He took a deep breath before sitting up. Sure, it was probably delusions and this was his own head talking to him but he needed answers. "You were brainwashed too, though. You and I had the same eyes for most of the time. So if that was part of the spell, you were under the same one, weren't you? This wasn't all your doing, was it?"

Stranger: Loki thought that Barton had receded into his own mind but then he snapped. Loki took a hasty step back as Barton sat up, then sighed at his question. "Yes, I was under the control of another." He slid down the wall and rested his forearms on his knees, hands dangling between them. "None of my actions were my idea, or even my choice." He longed to tell someone about Thanos, but the strange magic he had used to prevent Loki saying his name seemed to have remained. "T

Stranger: ((Sorry I hit enter too soon!))

You: (It's alright!)

Stranger: "Through me...someone else was able to control you. I had no control over my actions." Thanos allowed him no rest nor sustenance, no thoughts of his own. Independent thought was met with cruel consequences and eventually Loki had been a spectator in his own body. Until the Hulk, that is.

You: He paused before suddenly laughing. Even if this was a sign of insanity, he didn't care. "Well looks like we were both mindfucked." He turned to Loki, really looking at him. His armor was gone but at least his mind seemed to make up for it. And he was kind of relieved his hallucination decided to keep Loki clothed. He didn't need to be insane and a pervert. Shifting, he frowned slightly. "Sorry.. just had to laugh. I mean.. everyone's been laughing and happy, like nothing happened. Like Tony didn't nearly die from a nuke and it was an easy fight. I hate it, I hate that they can go back to their lives and move on and I can't."

Stranger: Loki flinched at the sudden laughter, which bordered on maniacal. "I suppose that's a fitting description as any." The intense scrutiny Barton directed at him made Loki sure that he'd seen that he was real, but Barton seemed not to notice. "I'd rather you laugh than cry, I've no idea what to do when people cry." He tried to make a joke. "Everyone has their own ways of dealing with trauma, you may have suffered more than any of them." Yes the Man of Iron had almost died, but Barton had had his own mind twisted and turned against him. Loki knew how that felt. "As much as I hate to be cliche, time does heal. Perhaps you should seek help?"

You: "Yeah that would be a great patient file to read. A man's mind twisted through magic now his nightmares about who he thought was tormenting him and now has insane hallucinations of him. Yeah we have solutions for that. Padded cells, lots of drugs, and straight jackets." He frowned and shook his head, sighing. "I don't want help." That wasn't really true. He wanted the nightmares to end and maybe getting help would stop them. But a part of him was afraid that if he didn't have the nightmares, he would just have nothing and he would be a shell.

Stranger: Loki considered that for a moment, would locking Barton up and stuffing him full of chemicals really help? "If you don't want help, then why are you telling me this?" Maybe he could help Barton, and in doing so help himself. Barton wasn't the only one suffering with nightmares and lack of sleep. "Maybe what you need is someone to talk to who understands how you feel?" He tipped his head back to rest it against the wall behind him.

You: "Yeah.. like you?" Well maybe that could work. Real or not, he was the only one who understood what he went through. He sighed softly and closed his eyes as he hugged his knees tighter. "I feel bad. Most of my nightmares are of you and you were in the same situation I was. I don't want to blame you when you weren't the cause of it." He bit his bottom lip, sighing. "Real or not, maybe I should vent to you."

Stranger: "Why not? I am here, aren't I?" Loki rolled his head along the wall until he was facing Barton, reaching up to tuck a stray strand of hair behind his ear when it fell as he moved. Of course Barton's nightmares were about him, he'd been the cause of this. Just has his nightmares were of Thanos. "I must be here for a reason, perhaps this is it. You need someone to talk to? Here I am." He sighed softly. "But you are wrong, I was the cause. I wasn't strong enough to stop..." He choked on the name, unable to say it aloud. ".him. Just as you could not stop me."

You: Clint bit his bottom lip and glanced over as he touched his hair. Why was that so comforting and sweet? "Maybe. I tried talking to Nat and she's a bit better and willing to listen but it's hard for her to understand." He scowled after a moment and shook his head. "If you weren't strong enough then I wasn't strong enough and that's.." Well probably right but he didn't want to admit that. He hated being weak. It didn't help his hearing was never the best. He tried to hide it though. Sighing, he shook his head. "Man, whoever this bastard is, he really fucked us over. And no I'm not blaming you. I know if you were in control you wouldn't have done those things. At least not the brainwashing part."

Stranger: "Believe me, nobody understands this better than I." Loki found himself wanting to comfort Barton, but if he touched him then this would all change. Barton could never know he was real. "No, you weren't. But that doesn't excuse my weakness. If I'd fought harder, perhaps we wouldn't be in this mess." He couldn't help but blame himself. "Not just the brainwashing part, I would never have come to Midgard at all." He paused, considering that. "Well, perhaps to visit but certainly not to take over."

You: "If, maybes, we can't try to think like that. What's done is done." He tried to imagine Loki visiting Midgard. He smirked and bit his bottom lip. "If you can eat like Thor can, I could take you to a ton of places with good food. And there's a ton just in New York. Then there's Chicago, Paris, California, god so many good places to eat and great places to see. It's almost overwhelming."

Stranger: "What's done is done." Loki repeated, allowing a soft smile to spread across his face. Together they might just get through this. "I assure you that I can, and have, eaten more than Thor." Only once, when they were children, but he was proud of it nonetheless. "I doubt it would be a good idea to walk around with me, talking to yourself is never a good sign." At the mention of food, Loki's stomach gurgled and he realised he'd have to eat before it got loud enough for Barton to hear. "Why don't you go and get some food, I will be here when you return."

You: He raised an eyebrow and smirked. He was hungry and honestly, so was Clint. Biting his bottom lip, he scowled as his own stomach protested the lack of food. He might as well get up and go get something to eat. Sighing, he stood up, pausing as he frowned. Wait.. but if he was a hallucination, why did he worry about people thinking Clint was talking to himself. He turned to Loki, studying him. "What kind of food do you like? What would you eat in Asgard? I'll try to find an equivalent."

Stranger: Loki was glad Barton didn't push the issue, he obviously couldn't go outside. Someone would recognise him and Barton would be in trouble for walking around with him. "I like most things. I like meat, fruits, and anything sweet." He hadn't eaten Midgardian food since he last visted, over 300 years ago. "You realise I cannot eat, yes? I'm not real."

You: "Yeah.. that's why you're worried about how crazy I'll look when talking to you. Look, if you're real and I'm not crazy, eat when I come back. If you're not real, let your demon of a stomach starve." He sighed. "I'll get you plenty. I'm sure Tony will be relieved when he sees me buying stuff and it being food." He headed to the door. "Real or not.. thanks for listening. And trying to right the wrongs." He glanced over at him and smiled. "I kind of like your better without your armor. I think it makes it easier to talk to you." With that he left the tower, heading to the main places nearby that he knew had great food. If he wanted a feast, he would get him one.

Stranger: Loki resisted the urge to laugh, but he did smile. "Thank you for listening too." He watched silently as Barton left, then sighed. "But what will you do when you discover I am real?" Would Barton hand him over to the others? Would he be angry that Loki had deceived him? Loki scrubbed his hands over his face and pulled himself to his feet. "I suppose I should find somewhere to wait for Barton." He tried several doors along the hallway until he found an open one, which led to a storage closet. He turned a large bucket upside down and sat on it to wait for Barton's return.

You: Clint took a while since he wanted to make sure he had plenty of options. About five restaurants and a few convenience stores later, he came in through the service room carrying several bags. He paused, frowning as he noticed the hall was empty? Had he been seeing things? He really was hoping that Loki was real. Someone to talk to, even if it meant he had to find a way to hide Loki from everyone. He was about to head back to his room when he saw the storage closet was open. He walked in, relieved to see that Loki had found a chair in a way. "Probably not as fancy as some big dining hall in Asgard but I at least brought a feast of royal size." He set several bags down, some from fast food places that were common like mcdonald's and white castles, to more local places with roast beef, pizzas, and some bags from convenience stores like 7/11. "I basically walked and looked for food, all of my favorites right here."

Stranger: Loki wasn't surprised Barton had found him, he'd left the door open intentionally. His stomach gave an enthusiastic growl at the smell of the food and he licked his lips. "That certainly is a lot of food." He sighed, he was going to have to tell Barton he was real if he hoped to get something to eat. "Barton...there is something we must discuss." He cleared his throat and looked up to meet his eyes, then changed his mind and instead put his hand out, palm flat. He left the decision up to Barton as to whether he wanted to know if Loki was real or not.

You: Clint paused, frowning as he looked at his hand. This was it, now or never. Either he was crazy or not. Sighing, he walked over and grabbed his hand, letting out a sigh of relief. "God.. for once I am happy to see your sorry ass. Man if you were only a hallucination I would have lost it." But now they had the pressing matter of keeping him safe while in Stark Tower. While he was generally sure Tony would probably not turn him over to Shield given he was incredibly annoyed with the organization for their secrets, he wasn't sure how the rest of the team would react. "How about.. How about we eat and then worry about safety alright?"

Stranger: Loki held his breath as Barton reached for his hand and let it out in a sudden exhale when he spoke. "I am sorry I deceived you." He released Barton's hand with a soft smile. "That sounds like a good idea." He reached out to grab a bag of food, uncaring what it. "I thought you would kill me if you knew I was real." Kill him or worse, enact his revenge for what Loki had put him through. "I won't lie, I'm glad you didn't."

You: "You are the god of lies and mischief so it's not like I should be surprised." He smirked slightly as he noticed he grabbed the taco bell. "I recommend the bean burrito in there. Simple but so good." Clint shrugged and grabbed a gyro, taking a bite. "Are you kidding me? I"m just glad to know that I'm not losing it. Besides, I've had time to think and I had an idea you weren't so evil in the whole situation. Thanks for being truthful about that by the way."

Stranger: Loki laughed softly as he opened the bag. "Yes, I suppose that makes sense." He routed through the bag until he found the wrapper which said bean burrito and unwrapped it. It did smell good. "No, you aren't losing it, though I'm surprised you noticed. Nobody else did." Not even Thor had realised he wasn't himself. "You deserved...deserve to know the truth." The bean burrito was indeed good, and he finished it quickly before reaching for another bag, curious to taste more Midgardian food,

Stranger: ((* should be a fullstop at the end of that, not a comma))

You: "Hmm well I guess when you experience the same mind fuck, you start to notice the signs." He held out his gyro. "Try it. It's greek and one of their classic foods. It's so good and when you find a great place that knows how to make it you're in heaven." Clint paused before laughing. "Maybe we should go on a road trip to all these great places to eat. Each main city and even small towns have great food in america alone. It would be interesting. And you'd get to see what Midgard is like."

Stranger: "It was nice to be able to tell someone about it." Loki replied, taking the offered back and finding something to unwrap. "I don't think that is a good idea." He sighed, it sounded wonderful and he'd always wanted to explore Midgard, but it would be too dangerous for them. "I am a wanted criminal, I can't go outside." He wasn't even sure if it was safe to stay here.

You: "How long were you outsides just now? Before you came in that is? I mean sure it will be difficult but there's ways to stay hidden. It's how we have to be when we're working on missions, especially recon missions. We're pretty much celebs now so I've seen a lot of the team hide their face and wear plain clothes so their not recognized." He shrugged. "But if you're not comfortable it's fine. I don't mind bringing you food though."

Stranger: Loki shrugged, he'd been unconscious. "I awoke around 5 minutes before coming in here, but other than that I've no idea." Barton's idea could work, but it was very risky. Especially considering how fresh the attack was in everyone's mind. "I appreciate the food. Is there somewhere I can stay until it is safe to take that trip? It sounds wonderful." Would he have to cut his hair as part of his disguise? He hoped not.

You: "Hmm well we could try but not right away. Which means we might have to tell Tony you're here." Which was a gamble. He chewed his bottom lip before checking the time. "I can bring you up to my floor. It's not too late but as long as we avoid the main pathways, we shouldn't run into anyone. And by now most don't come up to my floor unless they tell me ahead of time. One time Tony tried to walk in and I tackled him, thinking he was an intruder."

Stranger: Loki blanched at the idea of telling anybody he was here. "Could we postpone telling him for a while? I doubt he'll be pleased to see me." He did find the idea of Barton tackling anyone that came in amusing, though. "Are there not security measures? What if someone does see me?" Still, hiding out under the Avenger's noses would be the last place anyone would expect to find him. And if it meant staying with Barton? He was ok with that.

You: "We can postpone until probably tomorrow. Given the time he's probably been drinking and unless his ai sees you as an actual threat, he will only mention there's a new person in the tower, not who." He smiled. "Besides, that computer owes me one for thinking I said to set me alarm for seven pm and not seven am, face in pillow be damned. He can give us about twelve hours before he alerts Tony." He stood up, turning to Loki. "C'mon we can eat when we get to my floor. There's an actual table and chairs up there."

Stranger: "I'd rather we postponed it indefinitely but if you think we should tell him, then I trust you." Loki had forgotten about the disembodied voice called Jarvis until now, as he recalled it controlled the whole tower. Twelve hours of safety would do for now. "Lead the way, then." Loki stood and scooped some of the bags up, then followed Barton out the door.

You: "He's the one with the override to all the security measures in this tower. The sooner he's aware of you and that you come in peace, the better." Clint grabbed the rest of the bags and lead the way through a well memorized path of avoiding the team and sneaking out so they wouldn't fret over him and his weight. Once they got to his floor, he walked over to the kitchen area. "By the way Jarvis, I don't want you telling Tony he's here until noon tomorrow. Believe me, it's best if we delay it." The voice responded saying, "Sir this is not a good idea but if you insist, I will make sure no one knows of his presence." Clint turned to him, smirking. "See? He owed me."

Stranger: Loki nodded and tried his best to seem non-threatening as they made their way through the Tower. "I gather you sneak out often?" He asked as they finally made their way onto Barton's floor. "But how do you know you can trust him? Did Stark not make him?" Was Jarvis not loyal to Stark above all others? They set the food down on the table and Loki sank into a chair much more comfortable than his bucket and pulled out some more food. "So...we have to tell Stark tomorrow?"

You: "Yup. And just avoid the team in general. By now I've learned to follow their patterns." He glanced over and sighed. "Oh there's still the chance he will betray me but I'm counting on Tony rooting for the underdog and his anger towards Shield. Counting on a lot of things that could go right or wrong." He frowned and sat down as well after getting them some water to drink. "Yeah.. I mean we should. I think he'd appreciate it more than him walking into the room and seeing you there lounging on the bed eating a taco."

Stranger: "Aren't they worried about you?" Loki asked, opening something called a Big Mac and taking a bite. This was his favourite so far. "Well that certainly makes me feel better." He said sarcastically, accepting the water and taking a sip. "Yes, that makes sense. He would probably throw me out of a window if he discovered me here. We should probably decide what we will say to him."

You: "Yes, but they also know that I can get violent if they accidentally sneak up on me or piss me off." He shifted, frowning. Maybe he was losing it. He smirked at the mention of being thrown out the window. "I'd make sure he caught you, given you don't have a suit like he did. And I also don't think he would want that kind of news coverage right in front of his tower." Clint took a bit of a hot dog. "I was thinking along the lines of 'Hey Tony, Loki landed in front of your tower and I met him, thought he was a hallucination until the power of food and talking helped us out so he's here now. Good morning by the way.'"

Stranger: "I guess that's a good a deterrent as any." Loki shrugged and munched on his Big Mac. "And I would appreciate that. The conditions of my banishment required me losing my powers, so I would be unable to stop myself." He didn't think he'd die if he fell, losing his powers hadn't taken away his natural strength or durability, but he'd almost definitely break something upon landing. He sputtered a laugh at Barton's idea, choking on his burger and having to take a large gulp of water to clear the blockage. "I can picture his face." He grinned, then frowned. "What if he thinks I am controlling you again?"

Stranger: ((Another time, of course))

You: "Simple. He can take a look into my eyes. He has it in his notes the eye color change." He took a bite and smirked. "I like your life. It's not taunting like in my dreams. It's really nice." He bit his bottom lip and sighed. "Sorry, that was probably creepy to say or whatever." He looked around before shifting. "You can sleep in my bed tonight, just so you know."

Stranger: ((I'll give you the link but if you don't want to carry on that's fine. I really have to go, I've got to be up tomorrow.))

You: (Okay I should probably be going to bed soon too. I have to get up early as well.

Stranger: ((Then I hope to see you there soon :) I'll post a reply tomorrow when I get in. Goodnight :) ))

Stranger has disconnected.