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#still time to change my mind about this but rn i'm still obsessed with these characters
overthinkthis · 3 months
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The more I think about My Marvellous Dream is You, the more I think that Wan is right with her reluctance to confess her feelings. Because I don't think it's about them not knowing anymore. After that bathtub moment, I'm pretty sure they are both aware they have feelings for each other, they simply cannot be that oblivious.
And I don't think Kim is ready to face that truth. Whatever shit she internalised after her dad left, deep down she seems to be convinced that a relationship with Wan is not possible for her. She's terrified to make a selfish decision that will hurt the people she loves and she really believes that dating Wan will hurt her mother and risk Wan's career. (that the decision to marry a guy she doesn't love will hurt people probably feels not as real to her, because that's what being a people pleaser often is like)
I don't think that this is actually a situation where just one honest conversation would fix all the problems. Kim has some deep rooted trauma from her dad leaving and from growing up in a heteronormative society that also often punishes women for making decisions in their own interest.
I can see why people find this frustrating to watch (or that others might feel like the show doesn't convey its themes well enough) but to me, the more episodes we get, the more I feel like I understand what's happening with these characters and it feels very consistent and, sadly, realistic. This show is definitely not for everyone but I'm really glad it exists.
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discoreptile · 2 months
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youtube
Beasties of Greenhollow soundtrack! Some tracks on this are from older projects like elphame but all of them have been reworked in some way. Most of them are entirely new. Enjoy!
#soundtrack#music#indiegamedev#Youtube#beasties of greenhollow#indiegame#chiptune#elphame#hey again gang. Another scream into the void#Things have been getting more interesting tbh#I'm starting therapy again. I have learned from this that my anxiety is in the very very high end.#And I guess the only thing that surprises me about that is that it's an abnormally high amount vs the average.#I've had more intrusive thoughts this week than in a long time. (I almost said ever but that was 2021 where they woke me up...)#It's mostly about my mistakes and ppl I've scared out of being in my life because of the actions based on my anxieties.#Like “if i could go back in time I could fix it”... girl you'd be going back in time like 100 times. At that point it's not fair lmao#I think I shouldn't talk about who I'm dating here anymore. Friends told me to stop seeing so many new people and I took that advice.#I'm exercising incredibly frequently; obsessively so. It really doesn't change much in my anxiety. I walk for like 3 hours a day.#My friend group is... difficult. One of us had a falling out with another and the dynamic is just so awkward for me now.#it just seems like everyone else has moved past it though but I still miss him. I don't think this can be reversed#we used to talk on my stream and play digimon cards n jackbox and d&d... But now they're only interested in d&d which I don't love#For god's sake I've published a game and moved to a nice new place. why aren't I happy hahahaha#work is no longer enjoyable since BoG was publised. our new project is in an iffy category but it's not my place to argue#I want to write music and animate but I have to do my hours for this new project before I can do anything like that...#I ended up siding with my current boss in that ethical dilemma I posted about and rn idk if that was the right decision.#Okay what can i talk about that's good? We moved to a nice place. I'm celebrating BoG's release with family tomorrow.#Graeme's playing Iconoclasts- one of my favourite games! He's also returning to work soon so it'll be less awkward to have a lady over#Thinking about good stuff going on just draws the mind to holidays I've had before. I treasure my memories!#Okay so I've complained for a long long time bc life doesn't feel great rn. But rest assured I already know this is 90% my fault hahaha#Oh another good thing that happened!!! My elestrals card was printed and ppl are really happy with it. I have a card in a real card game!!!#don't tell anyone but there's another one on the way. Anyway that will do for now. I'm sorry about my... self.
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olivianyx · 2 months
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A FEW UPDATES ON MY JOURNEY 🎀
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Sooooo there's still more I've manifested!
🎀 money, money, money, must be funny in a rich mans world~ lmaoo just more and more money everyday!
🎀 I stopped listening to subliminals for a while and I saw major results like my hair growing over an inch, my lashes getting longer and prettier, my weight going down, and I grew an inch again y'all 😭 I'm 173cm rn 😩 I wanna be tall as my boyfriend gojo hehe 🦋🦋 but not exactly tall as him but a lil shorter lol then I can't wear heels 😭 or my boy be looking like my son instead of my bf lmaoo
🎀 minimalist skincare products!
🎀 my skin tone lightening up a bit 🍃 like I didn't notice it until my family members and peers complimented me.
🎀 my grades going high again!
🎀 okay this one's a bit personal, but lemme get this straight. I mentioned in my last success story post that I got closer to crush... When in fact I wasn't even in love with her 😭 that was just admiration, not love. I realised my worth, and I stopped putting efforts, now the ship has sunk. She isn't bothered anymore, and me too since I was the only one obsessed. No offence but she wasn't worth my time. So I decided to spend it on satoru instead 🎀🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍
🎀 my parents becoming more lenient nowadays 🙌
🎀 I've been getting more free foods and snacks! People love to hang out more with me! 🤍
🎀 my singing skills improving! I wanted to sound like lana, it's not exactly like hers but I'm getting there!
🎀 there's still more I'm just lazy to type lol
MY RESPAWN JOURNEY
So I haven't yet respawned yet since I'm too attached to this reality. I'm still scripting a custom dr that I wanna respawn and also my jjk dr too. So when I finish (idk myself when I'm gonna finish lol) I will surely respawn.
But don't worry! This account will be run by another consciousness that I replace. I know I manifested stuffs here, I enjoy and all, but deep deep down I realised that I never wanna be here. I belong to the lands somewhere far away, not in this city 😭 I'm just too attached to this reality that's making me feel guilty to leave.
I'm working on it tho. I mean I deserve everything, why would I feel guilty for having what I want, right? I've encountered the worst traumas and situations here, yet something inside me is telling me not to leave this reality, while also feeling that I don't deserve to be here, and somewhere better where I have everything I want.
I remember bawling my eyes out cus I don't wanna be here anymore, yet feeling guilty to leave. Everyone has a journey, so do I. I know this ain't gonna be longer and ik it's already done, I'll respawn once my script is done. Keeping this in my mind, I'm spending my last few days here being happy and I'm doing everything I want so I don't feel something irrelevant while I leave. I wanna leave this place in peace.
With that being said, y'all deserve everything too! Don't hold yourself back, sometimes the ego holds us back, but don't let it take control and keep going! You're the God of your reality. So why not take that chance and stop being lazy? I mean it's the life of your dreams and some of y'all aren't even putting 0.000000001% effort? It's not the physical effort but the mental work, everything is the mental work and you don't even need to lift a finger. I mean it's not that hard focusing on your 4d. I agree for some people that have mental health issues like adhd, aphantasia, anxiety, and all. Even I had them too! I had avpd, anxiety, low self esteem, depression, maladaptive daydreaming, and ptsd, but still I did it while staying with a toxic narcissistic family that cares only about themselves! They who were constantly nagging me every 5 mins, now are quiet and unbothered. Why? Because I changed the version of me who was thinking that they were toxic, and I assumed they were lenient, and now they are. Honey, it's not hard at all. You're making it hard for yourself. So just stop with the bullshit and go live your dream life!
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- Olivia 🎀
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literatureloverx · 2 months
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Hiii!! good day to you☺️☺️!!! Just wanna ask something if you don't mind me🤗. In the aftercare scenario with fyodor, in the last part of it they talked about having children. Since reading that it's the only thing on my mind rn😔. I really wanna know what you think about fyodor, his darling and their children. Like would he be a good dad, an okay one or a bad one? How maby children do you think he'll have? Etc etc. Even though it's kinda impossible for him(rn) to have children since it'll probably become a problem for his plan, but can't a girl dream?🥺 Anyway tyty in advance if you answer this
(I love you so muchhhhh ahhh i wanna bite you/affectionately/😚😚. I love love the way you potray fyodor— my knees become weak every time I read one of your post! You're literally serving us a whole 5 star mchelin meal and I'm licking the plate- all utensils clean frfr😋😋. I hope you continue this and I'll be right here with the others supporting you🫶🏼🫶🏼)
Oh my gosh, I actually shed some tears here…🥺❤️
I can’t even begin to tell you how much your support means to me. Every time I read your sweet words, I get so emotional. I'm beyond grateful for your love and encouragement—it really keeps me going. ❤️
Thank you from the bottom of my heart!❤️❤️❤️
In actuality, I got two other requests about Dad!Fyodor. I wrote some headcanons about this and included a scene too, but since I don’t want to be unfair, I will post the scenario I wrote here and the headcanons in the other request ❤️
I hope you enjoy it, my dear! ❤️
Mdni, yandere behaviour, unhealthy behaviour, dad!fyodor, ideal type fem!reader, fluff, etc.
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F Y O D O R D O S T O E V S K Y
Belonging
Never in his life had Fyodor calculated that he would end up in this moment. It was a delight indeed, to feel the pleasure of utter belonging. You, belonging to him. Him, belonging to you. Him, belonging to his own small family.
A small smile forms on his lips, his eyes softening as his pale, cold hand gently places itself upon your belly.
It feels so strange, in an almost tooth-rottingly sweet way. It was something he never wished for, never considered before. But since you came crashing into his life with your graceful, soft, sweet nature, hopping into his safe space, jumping over his seemingly endless high walls, everything has been changing for him.
To find himself in such a vulnerable state was frustrating. He did not handle this new information well at the beginning, at all.
After endless loneliness, he felt uncomfortable with the togetherness with someone else. Finding you and falling for you, his soulmate, his lover, was indeed a shock for his hardened heart.
But now, this? A child? His child, that you’re bearing inside your very body?
He is not someone who loses his cool easily. You softened him. Your still unborn baby, whom he can't imagine parenting as any other human being does, softened him. He has found himself dwelling on thoughts obsessively focused on you and your child. About your future.
If this had not happened simply by itself, he wouldn’t have thought of having a child. But now that you’re full with his child, smiling at him with utmost love and affection, he can't help but love your baby.
Love… such a distant word for him for decades, for hundreds of years. Humbling, but so utterly real.
“Can you feel it, my love?”
“Yes, love.”
His gaze focuses on you, the dark glimmer shining through his soft expression, a sight far too familiar to you.
“I’m amazed how we managed to produce such an energetic offspring, given our harmonious and peaceful personalities.”
His humorous comment makes you huff out a giggle, amused at his remark.
“I’m not sure if I’d describe you as such, my love…”
His eyes soften further.
“I believe that motherhood has already made you brattier, my dear. We might need to change that attitude in the near future.”
Another chuckle, this time even more heartfelt than before.
He softly kisses your forehead, his fingers gently caressing your belly.
“The medicine is working. You’re feeling less dizziness, correct?”
Fyodor being your husband has more than enough beautiful aspects to it. One of them is, indeed, his ability to see, hear, and understand everything the moment it occurs. Like now. He always knows how you’re feeling, and it is refreshing in a sweet way.
“Yes, my love. I’m doing very well. Also, I'm not lonely at all, thanks to you.”
He smiles fondly, a lazy smirk stretching out his lips. Of course you weren’t. He is often away, but he always manages to send you gifts and activities to pass the time with. You’re always surrounded by people who dote on you and do everything in their power to make you feel comfortable in your huge mansion while you wait day and night for your husband to arrive and show you his affection.
It always pays off. The waiting, the longing, the slight agony that sometimes pierces your heart and makes you miss him even more than ever.
But he always returns. Always, without a single exception.
In those times whenever you were waiting eagerly for your husband to return, you had plenty of time to think about every possible possibility. How your lives would change when your little one arrives, what kind of mother you’d be to your child, what kind of father Fyodor would be… you never once doubted him.
You trust him with all your heart and secretly, this trust gives Fyodor immense strength, even if he never verbally acknowledged it. He knows that you trust him, and your trust and love work wonders on him.
From a logical perspective, he is not someone who needs love or acknowledgment, praise or appreciation. But with you by his side, loving, appreciating, trusting, understanding, and caring for him unconditionally, he acknowledges that everything is so much more beautiful as you bestow pure joy into his previously cold and inhumane life.
Your little family already makes him feel more human. You make him feel human. Not that he thought that he ever cared about being inhuman, but it turns out that he is, indeed, not much different than other human beings.
Feeling like a human has an incredible vulnerability to it. But with you, he can’t help but bow down to his own humanity, to his own vulnerability.
“I love you...”
His eyes glimmer with a faint shadow, and you can see inside his eyes how his sentence continues.
‘…I love both of you.’
To read my other works and the backstory to this scenario => MASTERLIST
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teecupangel · 3 months
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Hi teecup, I hope ur having a great day/noon/night!
Forgive me if the things i'm about to say don't make much sense. It's been a vey, very, very, difficult time for me and my countrymen here, and my ability to make coherent sentences have declined drastically. So, yeah... BUT! That doesn't matter haha.
Anyways, I had a thought. And i'm not even sure how or why i got it but.... hear me out now...
Our boy, Desmond, gets thrown back in time as usual, same old same old, right? Exept, this time he doesn't end up in the Big Three™'s time-line. He ends up in Al-Mualim's time. *insert mind-blown emoji here cuz i can't find it rn*
And ik that i'm not a certified AC Expert like u and many others, and i haven't really finished any of the AC games yet (i've only seen bits of AC III and have only started AC 2, I also haven't finished AC 1)
But I do know that he wasn't really that creepy and evil in his youth/ b4 he became The Old Man of the Moutain, so i was thinking maybe Desmond ends up in that era of Al Mualim or is it Rashid al-Din Sinan? I know that he's based on a real historical figure but i'm not so sure if he's called that in-game?
And knowing Desmond, he'd probably get the urge to kill Rashid (i hope i'm using the name correctly) the time he figures shit out and connect that dots. But he would end up not doing that, cuz u know, it might fuck up the time-line and Altaïr might end up not being born, creating a domino-effect.
I want Desmond to meet Rashid before he starts to becom the Al Mualim we know today, so that Desmond can see how he was b4 the evants of AC 1.
Maybe Rashid's an arrogant ass, or a nerdy loser, or a popular assassin- who knows! The possibilites are endless!! (or maybe he's an obsessive bastard who gets obsessed with Desmond cuz he's just full of mysteries and wonders :Dc )
And blah blah blah, plot here, plot there, Isu-bullshit this, time shenanigans that, and BOOM they meet.
And romance ensues? :3 (romace wil absolutely ensue :}}} )
NOW, BEFORE- BEFORE YOU TIE ME TO A STAKE AND BURN ME ALIVE FOR THIS- i think it'd be a cute idea, and who knows? maybe Rashid was hot in his prime *insert lenny face cuz even after all these years i still don't know how to type it and is too lazy to cop paste it* and maybe he liked to solve mysteries and had a thing for the unexplainable. And Desmond is the most unexplainable, most bizarre thing to have graced the earth :33333.
Now that i've got this idea out of my system i'm gonna go pray for the down fall of my coutry's shit for brain, good for nothing military government/hj.
bye! *evaporates*
I hope you’re doing alright and I’m sorry that it took two months before I could answer your ask TTATT
As far as I know, he was only called Al Mualim because of legal reasons but Rashid ad-Din Sinan was the leader of the Assassins in Masyaf during 1191 so it’s safe to assume Al Mualim is AC’s version of Rashid (historically he died in 1193, not 1191.
.
Okay. We can make this work.
We put Desmond at around the same time he’s the recruit and we make it hard for him to realize he’s Al Mualim until it’s too late by doing one simple thing:
Desmond doesn’t know Al Mualim’s real name.
He always knew it as Al Mualim. As far as he knew, Al Mualim was his actual name.
Then he remembered that Al Mualim can mean mentor and bangs his head on the nearest flat surface.
His mission has been clear from the start.
Become an Assassin, take out Al Mualim before he does shit, find Umar and adopt him then play matchmaker so Altaïr would be born.
And no.
Desmond wasn’t going to think about the whole “can you truly be sure that the person who will be born will be Altaïr if you change the circumstances of his conception?”
Yeah.
His head hurts just thinking about it so he won’t.
For now, he’ll focus on his training while keeping a look out for anyone who gives of Al Mualim vibes.
What’s the Al Mualim vibes?
Manipulative old man vibes.
The problem is…
Rashid is one of the recruits in the same batch as Desmond and he becomes Desmond’s closest friend.
And there was no way Desmond would ever be friends with a future power hungry asshole like Al Mualim.
No way.
.
The way their relationship becomes romantic really depends on the kind of personality young Rashid would have.
A nerdy loser who starts making a name for himself because of his intelligence and tactical mind would start off as the kid Desmond sorta looks after. When he starts to show that his strength lies in making plans and quick judgments, he becomes the man whispering on Desmond’s ear. Providing plans and suggestions while giving Desmond a heads up on the less savory words people say about him. Desmond would never think this Rashid is Al Mualim because he’s nice and truly do want to help Desmond. This is also how Rashid would show his love for Desmond and, really, Desmond would think they’re bros and when he realizes that Rashid actually loves him, he’d think “oh, I am Ezio’s descendant”
An arrogant ass Rashid would butt heads with Desmond but Desmond would find himself fond of the man because he reminds him of AC1 Altaïr. This is the Rashid who would definitely be counted as a tsundere and their relationship would start when Rashid just flatout tells Desmond that he wants to do unspeakable things to him while they’re arguing. Desmond is offended because “tugging on my pigtails doesn’t work in real life, dumbass!” and Rashid is just “???” because what the fuck are pigtails??? Lots of awkwardness until Desmond realize that butting heads with Rashid is really how they flirt.
Now. Popular Assassin Rashid is more on the side of polite but is absolutely Desmond’s rival. Whatever it is, the two of them are always competing. Unlike the arrogant ass version, this Rashid is always nice to Desmond. The whole “no hard feelings” and pure competitiveness are what drives their relationship. This is the one where the two of them spar privately one time and things happen. They would try to distant themselves from one another for a bit until they finally talk it out. Rashid honestly didn’t think he loved Desmond until the whole ‘after-sparring’ thing.
Whichever you pick as Rashid’s background, he will become obsessed with Desmond but it’s more on the side of “I will do everything to make Desmond happy” which is good for Desmond but not really good for anyone against him.
.
Desmond is the one who adopts Umar in this one and Umar imprints on him like a baby duckling to a mama duckling. Everyone actually assumed Umar is his bastard son. Desmond ignores it even though he’s only like… a decade and a half older than Umar.
Rashid definitely treats him like Desmond’s son. He’s Umar’s favorite of all of Desmond’s friends.
And really, Desmond should have seen that as a hint of Rashid’s ‘future’.
Speaking of the future.
He’s been looking for Al Mualim this entire time and he has his suspects (Rashid, however, is not on the list) but honestly?
He’s just waiting for the person who would be picked as the one to lead the expansion to Masyaf since that would be Al Mualim.
Desmond has, unfortunately, fucked up the timeline so badly that the person chosen to lead the expansion?
It was Desmond.
.
Sidebar: Faheem would be that cute younger brother who turns grumpy when he grows up. Desmond will forever grieve the lost of little cute Faheem. Faheem is always embarrassed when Desmond talked about his ‘past’.
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igncrxntripley · 1 year
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HEYY GIRL IM BACK
okayy i feel so goofy asking for specific smuts BUT can it just start out as a regular match after a breakup ( reader & rhea arent on good terms rn ) and they work things out towards the end? like they admit that theyve both been thinking about eachother all the time & stuff. regular smut & switch rhea & reader pleasee
ty for replying so fast 🙏 my rhea obsession is an emergency
forgiveness
a/n: two posts in one day...i'm wild
mentions: NSFW 18+, smut, fighting/volatile relationships, heated makeouts, grinding/scissoring, touching, fem!reader, switch!reader, switch!rhea, slight break of kayfabe (use of rhea's real name), minor descriptions of in-ring violence
taglist: @thesithdiaries @cassiesgreta @roseheartsworld @theworldofotps @babybatlover @ripleyswhore @auburnwrites​ @obl1vionblackhart​ @emogoblin-666​ @hereliespumpkin​ @blxxdshxteyes @neptune-lover​ @bunnysmyname​ @i-have-issues-lol @ares-athena​ @thatonepansexual2000​ @witcherfromwallachia
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work used to be your safe place. you could go and be with your friends, meet amazing fans, and do what you loved every single day. who wouldn't want that for themselves?
that all changed, though, when you and demi broke things off. the two of you loved one another but the stress of your jobs and constantly being on the road took its toll. the rare times where you and demi got to see one another were spent screaming and fighting, and the last time you spoke to one another was the day she stormed out of the house with her bags and called it quits. you never thought you'd be so happy but so sad to see the woman you love leave, but since then nothing had been the same.
you didn't even see how badly demi was struggling with it either. every night she wanted to pick up the phone and call you; she wanted to apologize, pretend like nothing happened and move on with you. but how could she after saying the things she said? after storming out of the house rather than talking through your issues like a regular couple? both of you had fucked up numerous times during your relationship, but demi still hadn't forgiven herself for what she'd done.
the best part? both of you had to go to work like nothing was wrong. every week on the road, it never failed that you saw one another backstage. you always hoped with how many people were backstage at a time that you could avoid her, but with your luck that wasn't going to happen.
the cherry on top of it all? you had a match against her. yep, you and your ex - in a ring together, for twenty minutes at least, needing to practically be on top of one another.
your life was an actual fucking joke at this point.
from the moment you walked out into the ring from gorilla and saw rhea standing there, you felt nauseous. practically everyone in the audience knew about what had happened and they just kept staring at the both of you. but you kept up your character to the best of your ability, doing what you needed to do to get through this nightmare of a match you were about to have.
it almost felt...wrong. to have your hands on demi in any way shape or form. sure, this was rhea ripley and not demi. you were both in character. you were putting on the personas that the audiences were familiar with. but as you and demi grappled on the mat and inflicted physical pain on one another, it continued to bring up all of those unresolved feelings.
each hit, slap, kick, tug of the hair...it was an accessory to the words you'd spat at each other in your arguments over the last few months. not only that, but rhea ripley was known for tormenting her opponents. she wasn't above getting in their face and giving them a piece of her mind; and you best believe she did the same thing with you.
at one point, demi was straddling you in the ring. both of you breathless with exhaustion, you absolutely a mess both physically and emotionally, and rhea was clearly in her feelings about everything as well. the last straw, though, was when she leaned in closer to your face and said her first words to you since breaking things off.
"you're nothing to me. and you'll never be anything to me."
you saw red the moment she said that to you. whether she said it in character or meant it, you didn't care; she knew what she was doing by saying it. it was like the crowd and the cameras disappeared, and the absolute rage in your body overpowered everything else and you unleashed hell on her. that anger gave you the opportunity to end the match and deliver a finisher, and while normally winning felt amazing...this felt like garbage.
--- ---
alone time in your dressing room gave you way too much time to think about everything that had gone on the ring. you couldn't erase the look on demi's face as she stood over you...the sound of her voice telling you that you meant nothing to her when you'd given so much of yourself to her during your relationship. but apparently you meant nothing? you could barely comprehend it.
a knock at the slightly open door brought you out of your thoughts, but the sight of demi changed out of her ring gear and freshly showered sobered you up real fast. "don't even think about coming in here and talking to me after the shit you pulled out there." you mumbled, already standing up and looking to make your escape.
demi blocked the doorway and closed the door, a gentle look on her face replacing the one riddled with intimidation and anger from earlier in the night. "i just want to talk to you." she said softly. "i know you're pissed, because i would be too. but i just need to talk."
you hesitated, but eventually you gave a small nod and sat back down on the couch. "start talking, then." you mumbled, watching as demi took her spot on the coffee table in front of you.
she ran a nervous hand through her hair and let out a shaky breath before she finally managed to talk to you. "i didn't mean what i said out there." she said softly. "i...i didn't mean any of the horrible things i ever said to you."
you wanted to believe demi, but how could you? the last half of your relationship with her was filled with fights. you'd internalized all of the awful things she'd managed to say to you, whether she meant them or not, and she was just now saying she didn't mean it? "demi, i-"
"no, y/n. i promise." she said quickly with a gentle shake of her head. "i regret all of it. i hate that i ever hurt your feelings or made you cry because that wasn't my intention. i was just...i'd get so angry that i would start saying things but never actually thought of how they would hurt you." you knew when demi was serious...and the this was the most serious you'd seen her in a long time. "i know you probably hate me, but i still really care about you."
her words made your stomach flip; butterflies erupted, knowing that she meant what she was saying. but the pain lingered from everything that had gone on during your relationship. your heart was speaking a lot louder than your brain though, and as you gently reached for demi's hand you spoke up for the first time since she entered the room. "i still really care about you, too."
demi's face lit up like a lightbulb as the realization that not all hope was lost. her free hand came forward to hold your cheek, both of you slowly inching closing to one another until your noses gently touched. "let me show you." she whispered before finally catching you in a gentle kiss.
your next moves were almost a complete blur; the tension had changed around you and demi to not so much angry tension, but this time one of a sexual nature. the two of you hurried in between kisses to remove articles of clothing until there was nothing left, your hands exploring one another's bodies for the first time in weeks. even though it had been some time away from demi, you personally hadn't been with anyone else; the pain was still too real, too fresh for you to introduce another person to this level of intimacy. but this - having demi in this way - it felt so normal. like you hadn't skipped a beat.
her kisses moved down from your lips to your neck and collarbone. demi was quick to adjust herself so you were both sat with your legs interlocked with one another, your bare centers pressed against one another and the heat of the moment causing both of you to moan and whine with anticipation. "dems..." you mumbled breathlessly, your fingers tangling in her hair to keep her as close as possible.
nothing else needed to be said; she knew what you needed, because she needed it just as badly. a small gasp left your lips as demi slowly began to move against you, her arms tightening around your body in response. "look at me, baby." she whispered, leaning your foreheads together as you made eye contact and moaned against one another. as she moved and created friction against your clit, you moved your own hips against her to give demi the same sensation. "you're so beautiful. can't want to feel you cum against me like you used to."
once again, demi's words drove you crazy. you whimpered, your ankles locking behind demi's back to keep her there and move a little faster. as the two of you moved and kissed, it only brought both of you closer and closer to a climax that neither of you had experienced in so long - let alone one the two of you shared - and that thought alone made you cling to demi as if she was going to slip away. "wanna cum with you." you mumbled.
demi smiled, your sweaty forehead leaning against her shoulder while you let out soft incoherent mumbles of the same few words. please...baby...demi...need you...
all of that alone, along with the increased speed creating more friction against your bodies, caused both you and demi to reach your highs at about the same time. you leaned back on your hands with a gasp as your thighs trembled. "fuck...oh fuck!" you whimpered. demi wasn't far behind, her own body shaking with euphoria as she finished as well. she was quick though to pull you closer to her body again, running a hand through your hair and exchanging kisses to work both of you down from your climax.
you opened your eyes to look at demi, a small smile tugging at the corner of your lips. "i think i forgive you." you teased softly, demi's fingers twirling your hair as you cuddled with one another.
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Note
Hiya! I realy enjoyed how you wrote Itto, it's definitly not an Idea I would have came up with.
If you don't mind, could I maybe request something again? Sorry if I'm doing that too often.
But if you are okay with another request, could you write something about Wanderer with reader who used to work under him when he still was a Fatui Harbringer?
-🐶 anon
you are free to request as often as you'd like when my inbox is open (which rn is all the time), i may not always get to them asap but i do try to write them as soon as i'm free and then they get pushed to the top of the queue! :] I'm glad you enjoyed the itto one though! i had to ask a friend of mine to check it over for me cause i've never really been a huge itto fan lol :D
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Warning: this post contains yandere-themes, including violence, mentions of stalking, verbal abuse, and other potential topics. Please read at your own risk!
Yandere!Wanderer who was obsessed with you way back in the Fatui. You had originally been just another footsoldier, no one particularly special. Yet when you were assigned under Scaramouche, The 6th Harbinger, you found your positions drastically changing. You had gone from the basic ranks all the way up to being his personal assistant, not that he needed one. It seemed he just kept you around to yell and scream at you all the time, at least that’s how it felt. That was your life for a while until news spread of him leaving, and you were reassigned to basic rank under a different Harbinger. It was when you were deployed outside of Snezhnaya that you finally saw him again, Scaramouche. He was traveling alone, and wearing entirely new attire, he even switched out his electro delusion for an anemo vision. Even the way he carried himself was different. You hadn’t expected him to attack your group though, his voice only carrying out insults and harsh words as you watched him pummel your companions to the ground. You had been so frozen in shock you couldn’t even charge up one attack. When it appeared as though none of your group was left breathing, he finally turned his attention back to you. “It’s been a while, but I’ve finally found you.”
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yanderes-galore · 9 months
Note
Could I perhaps request Kung Lao (mk11) when the time merger happens he learns of his child from that future could it be a one shot with prompt :
63.) "You're my everything!"
Btw Have an amazing day :)
I tried to see what I could do with this! Wasn't that bad yandere-wise compared to what I usually write, hope you still like it! I didn't have much to go off of.... I was also rusty on MK11's plot so this is pretty much mostly spoiler free.
Yandere! Platonic! Kung Lao Prompt 63
Pairing: Platonic
Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Overprotective behavior, Murder, Blood, Darling doesn't mind his lapse in judgement, Possible OOC Kung Lao, Darling just wants a father and accepts him, This could lead into a future fic but I'm out of ideas rn, Dubious companionship.
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Kung Lao never thought he'd have a kid. That was the last thing he thought he'd see when the time merge happened. Yet here he is, his past self, meeting his future kid.
You too were confused. You never entirely met your dad before he became a revenant, only a few times. As a result, your encounters with him were only ever with the revenant form of your father.
While Kung Lao was shocked at the fact he even had a kid somewhere down the line, you're shocked at meeting your father alive. You didn't expect your father to be so… Arrogant at first. However, you didn't entirely blame him due to your bloodline.
Kung Lao was unsure how to warm up to you when he met you. He noted the fighting techniques you naturally shared with him and saw how well you've trained. Kung Lao actually… Pities you a bit considering his present counterpart's fate.
Due to the existence of his present counterpart and you, Kung Lao actually drops his arrogance. Instead he wants to focus on learning about you while fighting beside you. You deserve a good future, don't you?
While the events of Kronika's plan develops, you end up spending time getting to know Kung Lao and Liu Kang. You barely knew the two growing up but feel at ease with their younger counterparts. You feel a bit of resentment that you never got to have moments like this until now.
Liu Kang teases you and Kung Lao as you talk with one another. Usually it's something along the lines of how soft Kung Lao is with you instead of his usual arrogance. Kung Lao tries to brush him off, simply saying he's learned to appreciate other things than winning and proving himself.
Why does he have to prove himself when he has you right here?
It seems as though anything he talks about captivates you at times. The idea of that makes him a bit sad. You must've had a hard life, huh?
Kung Lao has a hard time denying the fact he's attached to you. He understands he doesn't belong in this timeline but he can't bring himself to just leave you alone. Is he really just supposed to leave you to the revenant version of himself?
No… He doesn't want that. He doesn't think you do either. 
As time passes Kung Lao finds himself unable to let you go. You'd be so alone without him, right? Clearly… He has to do something, right?
Kung Lao ignored the fact you were a mature adult. He still thought of you as a kid, his kid, that he's meant to protect. So for you… He'll make an exception to the pacifist rule.
You've been told your father was a reckless pacifist at heart. Which is why when Kung Lao returned to you after an attack… Covered in blood… You felt a pang of fear in your heart. This… This was still your father, right?
Kung Lao ignored your changed mindset towards him. Even when you asked why he changed his ways so suddenly afterwards… He gave you an eerily calm smile. One on any other bloodthirsty warrior would make sense… But not your father.
“I've learned sometimes more lethal violence is necessary to protect what you fight for…” Kung Lao hums, quickly pulling you into a hug. You remain stunned in his arms… It's the welcoming hug a parent would give… But felt wrong here. “Was I supposed to just let you get hurt?”
You pause your fear and think on his words. Kung Lao, even when he wasn't your Kung Lao, killed to protect you. You meant that much to him… The thought soon begins to soothe you more than scare you.
“You're my everything.” Kung Lao mumbles while holding you. This felt… Natural. This felt like it was meant to be. Why were you denied this before?
You felt the same, checking to make sure you were in private before huddling closer despite the blood.
Part of you yearned for this…
Even if you were unaware of the dark changes you stirred within this past version of your father.
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mayuichi · 7 months
Text
“Rest assured, it is not mine.„
William James Moriarty x fem!reader Warnings: dark contents (murders, beating, blood, etc...), spoilers of MOSTLY the second season! be aware!
note: i'm so obsessed again over MTP, you can't know how much. i'm rewatching it rn, and i'll reread it too. ALSO i'm so sorry for my absence, i'm procrastinating and finding it hard to stay motivated, especially with my nausea, but it's slowly getting better so i hope i'll be capable to write more!
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Pictures from the anime Yuukoku no Moriarty / Moriarty the Patriot.
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Being the child of an earl isn't too hard. But as a woman, you are expected to be nearly perfect. Graceful, elegant, flawless, and charitable. Most respect you, or more likely.. fear your father. Speaking of which, you still live with your parents. You haven't found a suitable man yet. It was infuriating for your father, he wanted you to find a husband. But you couldn't care less for now. Strolling around in town is much more entertain than finding someone.
After one more heated argument with him, resulting in a red mark across your cheek like it happened so many time before, you call it a day and leave to your room for the night. Clutching on the plush you have managed to keep, you sit on your bed, staring at the moon through the window. Your mother didn't even tried to protect you, never. If only things could change.
Undressing yourself to slide on a warm robe, you close the curtains and fall on the soft mattress, engulfing in it, pulling the covers over your frame. Tomorrow is another day, it will all be okay.
At least, that's what you thought...
Awakening by a voice. You focus on it, only to realise it's a stranger. You've never heard them before... did you? Chills parkour through your veins, jolting you forward. You don't know who they are, nor what they want. But you don't want to stay near them.
Stepping cautiously out of your room, you hurry as best as you can to the front door. On your track, your gaze averts on a gruesome scene. Your father, resting in his blood, his life slowly fading from his body. With your mother, next to him, heavily injured. The footsteps behind you make you believe they're after you, now.
Sighing in relief when you finally see the front door. Your hands reach for the handle, your body freezes at the voice. “Leaving so soon? I've been told this family was full of cowards, but still...„ his voice malicious. You couldn't even move, feeling the tip of the blade against the back of your neck.
Just swallowing was hard. One bad move, and you'd die. Trying to take a deep breath. Your heart is pounding in your chest, your hands sweaty. “I... I am not like them..„. Hesitantly turning around, you could perceive one of his eyebrow raising. “The day... The day I'd be like them, I'd rather die...„
You don't even know half of what your father does, but all you've discovered about has never been good. A smirk displayed on the stranger's face, his golden locks falling ever so slightly above his scarlet eyes. “Hmm.. Interesting...„
Staring at him, also because you don't want to miss any of his action, your eyes get used properly to the dark, allowing you to see more of his features. And it isn't long before you recognise the second son of the Moriarty. A mathematics professor, and a noble, now pointing a blade at you.
However, he withdraws his blade, sheathing it back in his cane. Taking a step forward, he moves his hand across your cheek, his fingers grazing gently. “... Such a poor thing. I suppose it's a recurrent treatment, isn't it?„.
His touch, his words, his expression... It's so sweet, so caring. Is it truly the same man that has murdered your parents? With a sigh, he pulls away, thinking of a way to be sure you'd keep your silence over his true identity. But before he could utter a word, you got carried away and whispered your thoughts.
“I wouldn't mind... joining you. I want to be useful as well...„. Surprise filled his eyes. His piercing gaze staring right through your soul, he leans in, his tall frame towering over you. “Are you sure ? It is a dark and dangerous path. You shouldn't be impulsive.„. He hasn't dismissed you. He feels it in you, after all. That strength and resilience after all those years. This desire to be able to make a change. Even if you aren't a good fighter for now, you could become one.
His associates were unsure, at first. You were so fragile, so sensitive. How could you become useful ? But he kept believing in you, training you, and asking for Jake to train you as well. Within weeks, you were already close to be as good as them. You just lacked experiences.
And perhaps, everything that happened got you closer to their leader, the true Lord of Crime... William. He'd often invite you over tea, or to stroll around town. At this point, it became a habit of you, to go buy some pastries to a hardworking baker and have your tea party. It wasn't always just the two of you. Sometimes, Louis and Albert would join in, or even Bonde. It was such heartwarming times.
It has never been a surprise for you that in a middle of your discussions, William would suddenly fall over the couch and sleep. It always made you giggle quietly. But despite it, none of you took a step further. After all, neither knew if the others actually had feelings or if it was just a mere thought.
Months after you joined, William has went again with Louis only to take care of some aristocrats, with Fred's intel. Those nights are the worst. You're restless, incapable to be in slumber.
Sitting on your bed, in your robe, you hear the front door opening. Footsteps in the corridor, and the brothers' voice, casting each other's goodnights. Stepping out of your room, you gaze over William, blood soaked. “Is... is that blood?„
He turns around to face you, a gentle smile spreading when he sees you. “Rest assured, it is not mine.„. You blink, unsure of how you should feel. It's clear though, it isn't having the right effect. “Is that supposed to reassure me?!„
Your exclamation caught him off guard, and he walks closer, placing a comforting hand over your shoulder. “Isn't it usual now, though? You have seen me bloody a lot before.„. His words hit you like a train. You have seen him blood covered, yes, but your mind has never been calm about it.
“I know! I just-.. Ugh..„, anxiety floods you, your head lowering as you dismiss his hand. “I never said it was fine for me. It makes me worry. What if you get hurt?„. It's a stupid assumption, and you know it. He makes plan for every tiny details. He never leaves room for uncertainty.
Hurrying yourself to ask him to forget it, you go back in your room, closing the door behind you. Plopping on your bed, you can't help but hate yourself. Why are you so worried about him? He's not a child, and beside, he knows how to act upon unexpected twists. You pick the pillow, placing it in your arms, hugging it against you.
“... I hate it so much.„ you growl under your breath. Eyes closed and lost in your mind, you don't pay attention to the footsteps and the door opening. You only get out of your thoughts when you feel something, or rather someone, taking place on the mattress.
You turn around to see William sitting next to your laying form, his hand hovering over your hair, caressing it carefully. He has taken off his coat and changed his clothes to his usual sleep attire. “I find it flattering, you know? Your worries being on me. But I have my shares of worries over you, too.„ he chuckles.
It makes you groan silently, turning again to make him face your back. Seeing you holding your pillow so tight, he allows himself to lay beside you, wrapping his arms around your waist. “Don't be upset, my dear. How about we plan a tea party tomorrow? As a token of apology for all those worries I fill your heart and mind with.„
Just the thought of it cracks a smile from you, and he sees it clearly. You slowly nod, closing your eyes as you lean further in his embrace. You know it wouldn't last forever, but you'd drown yourself in it for as long as it last.
It's an hour later he withdraws his arms from you, giving your hair one last stroke, before standing up. “I will see you tomorrow, my dear. Have a good night.„
As he walks away, you turn around, sitting up quickly, calling out his name. “... William!„. Your voice is so urgent, like your feelings are about to explode. “Yes?„ he turns to face you, his eyes softening at your desperate state.
“I...„ you hesitate. Is it truly a good idea to confess ? It isn't a secret for yourself anymore, you've fallen for him, smitten by his simple presence. But maybe it isn't a good thing to tell him... “... Take care... Goodnight...„
Something tells you by the look of his eyes, he knows you're hiding your feelings from him. But he doesn't push. Not yet. You're too vulnerable for now. He wants you to willingly admit them. He closes his eyes. “I will, thank you. I'll see you tomorrow.„ and with that, he leaves your room, the silence feeling it. Your feelings drowning you in slumber.
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/ᐠ - ˕ •マ Ⳋmayuichi's property. do not repost, copy or translate without permission.
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connect-dots7 · 2 years
Text
S5 Prediction: Will & MIKE'S 7 Confession (letter) + Garage Light Kiss Theory (Alternate/Revised Theory!)
OH. MY. GOD. GUYS! I think I just figured it out for real this time. I connected the two dots before...but i missed the third and final dot. BUCKLE UP B*TCHES.
We all know about my "full-circle garage light flicker theory" where Mike and Will can affect s1 ep1 through the upside-down in s5, and when they kiss the garage light flickers in season 1. Well, in my old theory I said "Will parallels his younger self and says the truth", but NOW I THINK IT'S ACTUALLY GOING TO BE MIKE.
This comes down to the letter. I used to think Mike's letter would just be a case of dramatic irony, to inform the audience of Mike's true feelings. I thought maybe the letter was about Mike rebuilding castle Byers after s3 (which i still think he did btw). But I just read this post from doriandrifting (READ IT), and now I think he wrote the letter about the D&D campaign. Like an IDIOT, I forgot about the date in the tweet! And then I really thought about it and...this changes EVERYTHING. Prepare yourselves. (it's 4:00 AM rn but I DON'T CARE) i'm gonna copy and paste the beginning of my old theory, sorry. you can skip ahead to “it’s parallel time” :)
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To start off, I think that Mike and Will are going to end up in the upside-down together in S5. The upside down and Will are connected narratively, seeing as it’s literally frozen on the night he went missing.
Obviously there is going to be a reason for that. To bring his story full-circle, it’s pretty much inevitable that in the final season, Will is going to end up back in the upside-down. Just like it’s inevitable that this time Mike will be there with him. Which is why at the end of season 4, they both sit on an upside down couch together.
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The next part of this theory has to do with Will having powers. It’s why Will is paralleled to Vecna, Eleven, and Bastian from NeverEnding Story, and could open a portal in s1. It also fits with his overall character arc (becoming a hero after being a victim). I won’t make this post a mile long by going through all the evidence (links to some proof here, here , here and here and in the long version of my theory.) But for now, trust me when I say it’s probably going to be revealed that Will can manipulate electricity/time/the upside-down in S5. 
Remember, El was originally supposed to die after season one, which makes the notion of Will having powers extremely likely.
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Okay? Okay. So here’s the theory:
Mike and Will are in the upside-down, which is stuck on the day Will went missing in 1983. While in the upside-down, Mike and Will end up at the Wheeler House.
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Time is frozen on Nov 6, which is the first episode of season 1. I think that somehow, Mike and Will are going to be able to affect the other side in season 1 (specifically Nov 6), through the upside-down in season 5.
How though? We know that (as of now) time still flows normally on the other side, unlike the upside-down. However, that could change. Like, what if time were to start moving again in the upside-down? This could happen because of Will's subconscious mind. It’s also safe to say that s5 will include some wacky time shenanigans, which could explain how this is possible. (s5 time-travel proof here, here, here, and here) But even just on the surface level, why the hell else would the show’s villain thematically be obsessed with the progression of time, be accompanied by the sound of a clock chime, and create visions of grandfather clock? Why else would Hopper’s s3 letter talk about “turning back the clock”? Why else would there be so many Back to The Future references? Why else would the Duffers talk so much about "going back to season one", or the story coming "full-circle" in season five?
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There are multiple electricity shortages in s1. What if some of these moments, like when Ted fiddles with the TV in the background of season 1, were actually caused by Will (or El) in season 5? The screen looks suspiciously like how the TV screen looked when Eleven mind jumped in s2 and s3. Now for the good part:
IT’S PARALLEL TIME!
In the upside-down, Mike and Will are going to stand in the same spot at the same time as their younger selves on the other side.
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The concept of Lies is a HUGE recurring theme and motif in Stranger Things. One of the very first bits of characterization we learn about Will, is that he doesn’t lie to Mike. Even though it was just a white lie and Even though he could have got away with it. Even though it meant he lost, “Friends don’t LIE.” Will waited until the other boys left before telling Mike the Truth.
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I think that Mike is going to mirror Will, and confess the truth to him. From the very start, we are shown that Mike and Will have an honest and different bond than rest of the party. Which is why in season five, MIKE is going to remember this, and be able to lie.
(I, I can remember (I remember) Standing, by the wall (by the wall)- Bowie
Season 5 MIKE is going to parallel season 1 WILL, and THEY ARE BOTH going to admit the TRUTH to each-other at the same exact time (across time)! (7+7=14) winning roll!
Season 5, UPSIDE-DOWN:
for example:
Mike: “you lied about the painting being from El”
(the TRUTH about why Will made THE PAINTING for Mike is addressed--LOVE!)
Will: "You’re being stupid! It's not my fault you couldn't say you love her!"
WILL parallels MIKE during the SEASON THREE GARAGE SCENE:
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Mike: "It is" (TRUTH)
MIKE parallels WILL during the SEASON ONE GARAGE SCENE:
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Mike gives Will his letter (The TRUTH about why Mike made the 10 hour D&D CAMPAIGN is addressed--LOVE!)
(TRUTH=7) An UPSIDE-DOWN 7 is a capital L. The song which plays when Mike and Eleven kiss at the end of s3 (when Mike realizes he's gay) is "The First I love You". The "L" is NOT capitalized, because it’s not the TRUTH. In his letter, the "L" IS capitalized!
so at the same time (across time)...
MIKE: TRUTH=7, WILL: TRUTH=7 (7+7=14, the winning roll in D&D!)
THE THIRD AND FINAL GARAGE SCENE: (writing comes in 3's)
THEY KISS
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Between them, metaphorical electricity  FLARES (and potentially Will’s literal powers), as his brain short-circuits. As they kiss, “Heroes” by David Bowie plays, and the lyrics “the guns, shot above our heads, (over our heads)” narrates as electricity shoots above their heads. (Either bc of the kiss or confession) The camera pans up to the garage light over their heads, which flickers.
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the audience can feel the electricity between Mike and Will. Just like how Dustin could feel the electricity between Lucas and Max.
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"i could feel it." "What?" "The electricity." (are “friends” electric?)
at the same time...
Season 1, OTHER SIDE:
Will: "It was a 7, the demogorgan, it got me.” (TRUTH=7)
Will sounded disappointed about losing, but Mike DOESN'T SAY ANYTHING. He doesn't say how he "really feels". He just stands there and watches Will leave. Mike notices the garage light flicker above him. This is a metaphor for the electricity which just passed between them. Love=Electricity, and Mike just noticed it, which is why the scene directly following this one is him going inside to write a letter of what he wanted to say, which he signs "-Love, Mike."
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This would act as dramatic irony because at the same exact time in the upside-down, Mike JUST SAID what he really wanted to say in this moment BY GIVING WILL HIS LETTER and/or confessing. Unbeknownst to him, his future self just confessed, and the flicker is actually when they kiss in the upside down.
This reveal would be meaningful, because Mike wrote the ten hour DnD campaign but doesn't give Will the letter saying why (Love), and Will makes the painting but he lies about why (Love). In the upside-down, the TRUTH about both of these gestures is revealed.
In this moment, Mike's future self says what HE was too ashamed too in season one. Mike never got the chance to give Will his letter before the "demogorgan" got him.
"Anyway, I think you’ll still beat the campaign. Sorry I couldn’t get it done before my mom made everyone leave, but you mean so much to me, and it’s been so much fun to make it for you. Hope this is enough motivation to last until we can finish it next weekend. -Love, Mike"
THE UPSIDE-DOWN, SEASON 5:
As they kiss, “Heroes” by David Bowie continues...
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in season one, Mike is still ashamed of his love for Will. Which is why the scene cuts off with the line “shame”.
This time when the song plays, it will be different though. This time, the full verse will play as they kiss.
“and we kiss as though nothing could fall and the shame… was on the OTHER SIDE.”
Mike and Will are in the upside-down, and at the same time their ashamed younger selves were literally on the other side. When they finally kiss as if nothing could fall, they leave their shame on the other side (in the the past).
Or alternatively
Mike and Will are alone together in the upside-down, and the rest of society is on the other side. Because of this, they are able to finally kiss as if nothing could fall, and forget about how they would be shamed for it on the other side.
(based on the rest of the lyrics, they probably think they are going to die when this happens btw)
Click Here: for new video of my flicker kiss theory! (now including Mike's Letter)
Click Here: for the original video of my theory!
Click Here: The long version of my original post. (It goes off on more tangents, includes more proof, and goes over some mini theories that could (possibly) tie into this one!
Shameless self promo: Follow my account for more! In the future, I plan on making more predictions about the role of memories in season 5, Birthday-gate, Will's subconscious mind shaping the upside-down, and water symbolism. I also have a tik-tok and twitter account under the same name, so go follow me over there!
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deathbxnny · 1 year
Note
Hi there! I want to say tysm again for doing my Hsr MC x Genshin Impact MC s/o request. So i was rereading that post for the fourth time i think (i cant help but imagine cute and dorky stuff they would do together whenever i reread your post) and a thought popped up on what would it be like if the traveler are with the others. So can i request hcs of the rest of the Astral Express crew (Himeko, Welt, March, and Dan heng) x s/o like traveler from genshin impact
(Btw TYSM FOR YOUR SONG SUGGESTIONS, i went and play all the songs you suggest and DAMN YOU HAVE GREAT TASTE, i can honestly see myself listening to it on loop. Melanie Martinez hasnt lost her touch but then again there is no way she would, she’s too amazing. Rn im currently listening to the entire album after listening to your suggestions. I still prefer her older albums like Cry baby and k-12 but that may change with me listening to PORTALS, its too early to say but i might update on you about it
Also HI THERE FELLOW MARETU FAN! Its so nice to know there’s someone else who likes their songs as well (none of my friends like their songs T.T) What’s your favourite song from MARETU? Mine is Mind Brand, ITS SO GOOD AND IM PROUD TO SAY I LOVE IT) Hope you have a great day/night btw!
- Flower Anon 🌸
-----♡
A/N: Hello Flower Anon! Thank you so much for your request and I'm glad you liked my song suggestions! I'm also so happy to meet another MARETU fan! My favourite song of theirs is DEFINITELY "Magical doctor"! I listen to it all the time and am obsessed with it haha!<33
Content: Traveler reader, tiny bit of angst if you squint hard enough, confessions, mutual pinning(kinda), friends to lovers, fluff, sfw
Reader has no set pronouns!
((Not fully proofread))
-----♡
》March 7th
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She instantly did her best to become your friend at first, when you arrived on the Astral Express. She was determined to be your guide and show you the ropes, so everyone let her do it, as you also seemed to trust her fairly quickly.
You two became inseparable quite fast and always spent time together on the Express or on missions. She comforted you, whenever you were sad about your twin and promised to help you find them eventually. Surely you could, if you did it together! Yeah... her crush was very obvious for absolutely everyone and it was honestly adorable. But it was alright, as you felt the same.
She's fiercely protective of you on the battlefield and always shields you first out of everyone. She doesn't let you get hurt no matter what, even if you can handle yourself. You two still need to find your twin together after all, so just let her help you.
-----♡
》Dan Heng
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He didn't think much of you at first, until he read up more on you and your situation. And after also talking to you, he started sympathising with your situation deep down, which made him warm up to you alot over time.
Once he does, he let's you hang out with him alot in his room, where he tries finding something on your twin in the archives. Is his way of comforting you, as he indirectly promises you that he'll help you find your twin this way. He doesn't notice his growing feelings for you either, so you might have to confess first eventually.
He's very protective of you and always keeps his eyes on you one way or another. He doesn't let anything hurt you and has your back during any battles you may have. You can count on him to keep you safe that's for sure.
-----♡
》Himeko
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Himeko was the one to allow you to stay and therefore quickly became the person you relied on the most. You were quite grateful, even if she didn't see it as a big deal. She always comforts you and reassures you that she'll help you find your twin with all the resources she has.
You spend most of your days with her in the Astral Express watching the stars and drinking tea. She's always so interested in everything you talk about and takes time off work you whenever you need it. It was no surprise therefore, when feelings eventually just flourished between you two.
She doesn't let you on missions without her and she rarely does them as is, so you won't ever be in harms way. She wants you to live a comfortable and peaceful life on the Express, free of any stress or worries.
-----♡
》Welt Yang
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Welt understood how you felt and therefore offered to help you out with anything you may need. That also included comforting you, when you were devastated about your lost twin. He promised, to help you find them and actually has a high chance of achieving that.
You spend alot of time with him on the Express and missions, as he is very dependable and comforting to you. Any questions you may have are answered by him with ease, you could practically listen to him talk all day and you do, whenever he explains something to you. He'll be painfully aware of his feelings for you, but will only admit them to you, once he knows you feel the same.
You can rely on him during any battle to protect you. It doesn't matter if you can defend yourself or not, he'll keep an eye on you at all times. You definitely don't have to worry about anything, when he's around.
-----♡
A/N: I hope this was okay, Flower Anon! And I'm so sorry for the wait!<33
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greensagephase · 9 months
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Dropping this at your inbox and then running away…
Haha no but seriously
I’ve talked to you about how I’m trying to work on Peter and his looks, I’m still figuring out how to draw him on my own style…
But in this case while I was looking for references I found a picture of the model on whom Peter Parker of insomniac videogame is based on and I just thought he looked so freaking cute there I melted 😭😭😭, im actually now obsessing over him , and I decided to try copy the picture (although the drawing it’s not that close to the style I’m focusing on my Peter drawings, it’s a lil bit different cause also I don’t know how to stick into a style yet I’m still figuring it out).
Anyway my thoughts just kept leading me on the fact that this would be a perfect picture that my Spider would have on her wall, one of the many she has of her Peter, it would probably have been taken by her on a date night where she took an improv picture of him looking at her softly 🥺🥺🥺🥺 or smth like that, idk I keep picturing lot of soft scenarios for Peter that I think I’m going insane.
So I drew a picture frame over it and her hands caressing the picture (?) Poe maybe giving it a kiss before putting it back on the wall, like it happened on one of the chapters of NVC, cause I’m a sucker about all those sweet tender moments where she remembers Peter, means so much to me, cause even before all these Spiderverse things and hyper fixations over Miguel, Peter(Spider-Man) is my favourite super hero so he has a special place in my heart.
So yeah here it is, a lil rendition to my Peter, that can change when I figure more out his style rather than basing him that much on the model hehe
No, the way I opened the ask and saw the drawing - let me just give you a mental picture of me - just imagine a woman sitting at her desk and looking at her laptop and then opening this and she just starts banging her fist on the desk and trying very hard not to scream too loud but also hyperventilating BECAUSE THIS IS SO FREAKING CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!! AND TENDER, AND SWEET AND ANA YOU GOT ME INTERNALLY SCREAMING AND REALLY CRYING!!!!!!!!!
The actor/model for Peter in the insomniac videogame - I think I'm going to start obsessing over him, too, don't mind me because HE'S SO CUTE!! Talking about him with you also makes me want to play the videogames even though I suck at those type of games but I'm seriously considering playing it!! (I've tried just swinging around and it was so much fun, hehe!!)
You got me CRYING over how this would be a photo of Peter on your spidersona's wall - you're SO RIGHT!!!!! And the little backstory on how this would be taken during a date night and reader capturing this moment randomly and the way it would be just one of the many, many, many times of Peter just staring at reader like this, with such pure love and adoration for her - I'm not doing well at all, I have REAL TEARS in my eyes right now just thinking about it!!!
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🥺😭 It's so so crazy and I mentioned it so many times before to @sunsetdoodler but I never imagined reader's Peter to become so important to me - like, I'm fully attached to this character even though he's not an active character in the story but every time I write about him, my heart melts. PETER AND READER LOVED EACH OTHER SO MUCH!!!! Their love was so beautiful and special - and I'm rambling now but I love talking about our Peter so much and seriously, this is so freaking sweet, tender, and beautiful to think about. I mentioned it in my message but sometimes I get the urge to write something about Peter and reader - like a regular day in their lives and how they interacted before he passed away in a one-shot but I swear - I don't think my heart could take it. I would be crying the entire time, I think 😭😭
AND OMG READER GIVING IT A KISS LIKE SHE DID IN THAT PART my brain can't think of which part specifically rn but I know which one you're talking about and I'm crying even more now when I have a mental image of what that picture looks like!!!!! I'm not doing well but in a good way, I swear!!! 😭😭😭
Also, I feel you so much!!! Peter (Spider-Man) has always had a special place in my heart even since I was a kid. Spider-Man was the first superhero I watched on theaters (Tobey Maguire's Peter) and ever since then, Spider-Man has been one of my top favorite superheroes!! No matter what new superhero pops up, Spider-Man is always there for me!!!
Ana, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING THIS WITH ME 😭❤️ It's made my night and even though I'm crying, they're happy tears!! Also, I'm so excited to continue to see your Peter take shape as you work on him and find your style drawing him. What I've seen already has a chokehold on me !!! 😭 THANK YOU!!!!!! 🥺❤️
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misc-obeyme · 6 months
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LISTEN. (cw torture, barb thirst, mc infofump, mentions of murder and devildm politics, a bunch'a spoilers for Barbatos live ★ & Tea time w you-, obey me whump, conditioning, rant about newer fandom this ask is a wild ride)
But I also like the idea of him discovering what you’ve been doing & then questioning you about your methods. Like he’s impressed you would take matters into your own hands, but he is also an expert and can teach you many things~
Cue you getting taken on as the torturer’s apprentice. When you tell Solomon, he just goes pale and stammers out a joke about how he doesn’t like sharing his apprentice lol.
I'm gonna interrupt you like the potato i am but like???yes????? you do not understand my obsession with torture. I always thought I'm a masochist but I've recently figured i was wrong and Boy it Was the best feeling in rhe world to figure out whats wrong with me-
also my mc is both Sol's apprentice in magic and Barb's student in torture and baking. mhmhmmm. I also Do Not Like the brothers so much my mc was never an exchabge student. I did some black butler shit back there and now he lives in the castle. like two years before the exchange program- (no my canon doesnt follow the game's canon caue thats so very badly written) and he also helps w murdering people who are against Diavolo. and people just ?? can't believe it- there has to be some sort of a war shit going on. Dia is too kind to do this- also, if anyone figures they don't. Barb has POWERS-
and BOY DO I LOVE BARB FOR THAT. Also dia but he isnt important rn sjsksk. in the new event's card he said smth like he would cross his own boundries for the sake of Diavolo and Devildom. althought he didnt say for mc so 😔 but thats hot af still. But buT BUT vvv
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villain wannabe. wdym darkness?? you said itll be for the sake of devildom! idk im misinterpenting or no but this is so side ways I'm a bit ????ing rn
also in Tea time with you when you ask him what the fuck he did that even being a 24/7 slave butler to Diavoli won'y undo the mistake he had done?? he laughs?? HEEHEEE???? what are you Michael Jackson? and the other option he goes straight to anger so idk whats with the huge difference in replies-
anyway angry Barb is also best Barb i dont make the rules. also he's the butler of their PRINCE noone gets to harm mc. they'd dissapear. go missing. possibly either killed or very altered. Came Back Wrong™ ohoho, imagine if some of the castle workers/maids etc used to be high ranked nobles and demons and they've done smth so wrong that lowered them to this. and they don't remember it?? and noone else does remember too. just some lost names. okay not to get far-
BUT LISTEN Barb has definitly done some conditioning bs out there you can not prove it otherwise. also, Mammon keeps getting punished by Lu and hasn't changed so imagine the pain those demons have to go through for that-
JSKSKAJ!! BARB IS HOT OKAY- HES SADISTIC. I live sadistic demon butlers . also the fact that he has a torture dungeon- and who says there aren't demons in the hidden prisons waiting for their turn? i imagine Barb would randomly take one, do the things™ and leave for the next few months. the second the demons think they're forgotten/ theyre doomed. its also not in order so yep more stress. so wha i was goimg to say is imagine a very sadistic and mentally ill™ mc whos very angry tortuing some " innocent" souls in the dungeons. also, I tend to imagine Barb has taught Lucifer a few forms of torture when he fell (cough, Believer cough-) so-
Barb is such an interesting character (like Sol) and the older fandom used to really put those aspects in mind but the newer fandom is stripped completely from darkfic. like. can we have more darkfic i am begging I want obey me whump I dont want mc angst i want mc whump i want these bad boys dying of pain and being saved the last minute i want more stories on devildom politics i want more dark! demons/dark! mc aus- like can we bring that back??? can we stop w 24/7 fluff/comfort/angst thats just mc's death ?? no hate to those but can we bring back the dark shit i want to see demons getting their asses whooped in barb's dungeon or Dia being manupilative af--😭😭😭
ok ok ill shut up now😂
There is so much happening in this ask, but for some reason I keep coming back to "HEEHEEE???? what are you Michael Jackson?" because wow that made me actually LOL for real.
I'm always going to be for canon divergence. I say do whatever makes you happy! Your MC must truly have their hands full learning all that stuff with Barbatos and Solomon. But like if you're gonna learn those things, might as well learn from the best, right???
The thing I like about Barbatos is that he is very versatile. They've kept him very mellow in the game, but he has so much potential to go dark if you want to write him that way. I mean they don't even confirm that he actually has a torture dungeon in the game... I'm pretty sure it's just Mammon who says he's rumored to have one. But like by leaving it open ended like that, we can speculate all we like about it, you know?
And traditionally, wasn't that the point of demons? Aside from tempting humans, they're supposed to torture souls, right? I mean, I don't know how accurate that actually is, but it's interesting to think about.
I'm not especially obsessed with torture and I think it's pretty clear from my writing that I'm generally on the fluffier side of things lol. But it's interesting to think about, especially considering the types of characters we're dealing with here. And I really like the exploration of morality and inner evil and that sort of thing when it comes to heavy stuff like torture.
I thought it was very interesting in Barbatos Live how he calls MC his good conscience. 'Cause in Tea Time with You, he very much indicates that he used to do crazy stuff all the time, but then the Incident happened and now he doesn't. So wouldn't his guilt over whatever happened be his good conscience, like it has been all this time before MC showed up? Is he saying that MC just makes him want to stick to that even more?
Though he also says that it's like demon nature to have some darkness, so I don't know if he's talking about his specific experience necessarily. It's more like he's saying he wants to fight against his own nature? I dunno.
OH DANG but I love that idea about the maids and such in the castle! Demons that messed up so bad, now Barb keeps them at the castle to work??? What was that about not giving into the darkness???? lk;asdfkjlfd
I'm afraid I can't really comment on the amount of darkfic present in the fandom at any given time... due to being a Fluffster Extraordinaire, I'm faaaar more likely to read sweet lovey romance fics than Barb torture dungeon fics. Which isn't to say that I don't like the Barb torture dungeon situation because I do indeed find it very intriguing lol. I'm just usually like yo I want that guy to bake for me and make me tea, I don't care what he does in his spare time.
In fact, I really like the idea of a sweet and doting house husband Barbatos that pampers MC all day every day while being a ruthless and loyal demon butler the rest of the time. Like the dungeon isn't a rumor but as long as he washes off the blood when he comes back, MC is like whatever lol.
Oh but I also like the idea of MC being just as bad as him, now that I think about it. Like MC isn't ignorant, they don't turn a blind eye, they are right there with him, actively participating. The torture couple aadsflkjdfkjldf
I dunno, I think I'm considering it in more of a humorous way than a serious way, though.
Anyway, it's fun to consider all aspects of Barbatos because he has so many facets! And I think it's fun to explore the different sides of him.
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maxverstepponme · 1 year
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I'm the crazy obsessed and delusional Indian lady who thinks she's in a relationship with max and some of the things I do may seem similar to kelly or what she has done in the past but I think its the differences that count.
1. Kelly had max right by her side when she made fake accounts and spread rumors about being with him. And his ex gf wasn't still pretending to be his gf on social media or irl.
If I have max by my side rn or when our relationship isn't public yet, I wouldn't be on my phone so much or we would be reading any gossip together and laugh about the fake stuff and then get busy with other stuff 🙈
2. I dont support conservatives especially after posting pro-choice stores on insta. I'm still not sure where exactly I stand on the topic(only when it comes to consensual sex), but I'm open to discussion and learning.
3. I'll never post personal information especially after being asked not to. I dont have anything on insta right now and I will start posting but it's going to be with the approval of everyone that's involved.
And I dont mind answering questions on your blog about our relationship together, now and then when we're free. I have plans to not be so away from the fans during the winter break, cuz I've been there and I know how I've missed him, they don't involve pictures tho.
4. I dont like drinking. I know he loves it and she loves it but I don't think I can get myself to start drinking. It might change when we're older but I can't guarantee anything for now.
5. I have no obsession with branded stuff. Yes I do prefer them cuz they're good quality but If it's a pretty dress I don't mind who made it. And I hope no one forces me to be any brand's ambassador cuz I just want to wear what I like and I can't do that if I'm working with a particular brand. And I'll be wearing Indian outfits mostly cuz I'm most comfortable in them and please don't expect any fashion tips or anything related to fashion basically. I'm just as fashionable as max but a little better cuz I don't like wearing the same outfit all the time, I like variety 😜 but don't worry max i won't bother you too much about it but I will push you to try new colors tho 😛
6. And if some max fans don't like me or are rude to me, I will block them but I won't make max do it from his account unless he himself wants to.
7. Most importantly, I won't flip him in the pictures. I never understood that anyway. I'll most probably remain private, I haven't figured it out yet, but if I do, I'll share our pics that we want to be out with maxverstxppen. Maxv1stappen and I aren't on good terms, it's a shame cuz I really like their edits.
8. And I don't want fan pages or 'styleofchandana' pages. Maybe edits pages for max and I, cuz I like edits..
9. I hope there's a TV in Max's room in rb motorhome cuz I'll most probably watch the races from there cuz I dont think I can control my emotions on live TV 😅
10. I'm a very family oriented girl and very proudly a mama's girl. So It breaks my heart everytime I think about how max and sophie had to stay apart during his childhood. And also how they currently live so far apart, I'm sure it gets boring living alone in her big house..so I'll try to push for some way she can live nearby so we can frequently meet and so she can have her time with her son that she sacrificed for his career 💗
I can only think of these for now, I'll post later if I can think of any more.
No. You get the fuck away from here.
This is a gossip blog and some things may sound delulu, but they’re not as delulu as this or you. Like I’ve said before -and like everyone knows-, I don’t like Kelly, but if I have to defend her from people like you, I will. What you’re doing is absolutely disgusting. You’ve crossed the line with this clown show, so don’t even try to call yourself a Max fan.
Despite us not liking Kelly, we’re not harassing her and everyone related to her and Max saying they broke up, much less messaging Red Bull and Verstappencom the way I know you’ve done. Keep doing this and I’ll find a way to let them -Max’s team- know about this.
Everyone go report her wherever you see her. If she makes new accounts let me know and I’ll post them here so people can report it.
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lazaruspiss · 1 year
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So, I'm writing a long fanfic based around the characterizations of the various Bats in the 80s-00s time frame, and Nightwing is gonna be important but I don't have a good grasp of his personality yet. I'm currently reading through The Resurrection of Ras Al Ghul, but that and a few of the 2016 issues are all I've got to go off of right now.
Do you have any comics you'd recommend for getting a good grasp of his personality and general vibes?
I'd also be happy to read any kind of ramble about his personality/appeal you feel like writing. Having read your fanfiction I feel like (sincere compliment:) you are the exact kind of unhinged I want to get character opinions from.
(Also you mentioned Dick being in the mob which sounds Very Fun and I wanna know what titles so I can read that)
-redhoodinternaldialectical on anon cause sideblog
ok first of all. im flattered. i feel so powerful rn.
and second of all... my 'to read' list is embarrassingly long, and dick's been around and in a lot of comics so i have a lot of trouble keeping up ;-; but i will try my best!!
The New Teen Titans gets recommended a lot as a starting point for Dick as Nightwing, and while i havent read much of it, the stuff i have read has been pretty solid and i get why its so popular.
Nightwing 1996 is my personal go to comic for Dick, mainly bc it was his first real solo run. (it's often listed as "volume 2" of nightwing, but volume 1 aka Nightwing 1995 was really more of a test drive just to see if they should make a Nightwing solo series) It's also where Dick joins the mob! although that came off the tail end of a lot of different plot points.
(This is a bit unrelated, but in general I think knowing a bit of irl context to certain comic events is important. Like, at one point Bludhaven is nuked off the map. It doesn't make sense, and it was most likely due to some higher up DC nonsense. And Nightwing 1996's second annual is written by a man. etc etc.)
... I actually have a guide I've been working on, main reasons being quick reference for what happens where, and that writing these things down helps me remember them better
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as you can probably tell, I still have a ways to go. looking at this now i'm starting to realize that i am really down bad for him lol
Mobbed Up (where Dick gets adopted by a random mob boss who took one look at his depressed mug as he was getting fired from the police force and said "new son?") is issues #107-111
I feel like I should get back to character thoughts.
Dick on his own is deeply serious, he has a job to do and it's incredibly important that he does it right. In the beginning this serves as an invaluable asset, but as he loses more people it starts to turn into more destructive. A trait that is morphed by his traumas into obsessiveness.
Dick when Tim comes to visit (or just when he's around people he cares about) is a bit softer, it's subtle, but it shows that he's aware of/cares for the people around him.
Dick with Bruce around seems to worry so much about proving himself, about being seen as a respectable peer, that it backfires into making him come off more insecure and as a bit of a "rebellious teen". (which is exactly what he's trying to avoid when he strikes out on his own) I've read various arcs and issues but I haven't actually read any focused on Dick and Bruce aside from the ones towards the beginning, so I'm sure their relationship must change, but this is how they were when Dick had first moved to Blud.
I feel like Bludhaven is also important to talk about. It's very much meant to be "Gotham, but worse". It's a place that even Batman wouldn't bother with, a place beyond saving. I'm... kind of breaking my own heart, thinking about how much Dick put into this city, only to. To fail? In a sense? A hero's home city isn't usually obliterated like that. The only other example that comes to mind is Hal Jordan's, and Hal literally went insane and became a space terrorist to bring it back. Dick is just... forced to move on.
And Dick goes back to NYC. Nightwing patrolling Gotham with any regularity feels very modern. He shows up when there's a major event and DC wants to capitalize on having a bunch of names in the same series, and he shows up when something drastic changes (like a new robin, or a death). Dick has however spent a lot of time in NYC, either because of the Titans or because. yknow. home go boom.
Anyways. Arc recs. Unironically I need you to read Brothers in Blood. Get past the initial gross out factor of Tentatodd and it's a great look at Jason and Dick's relationship. This is #118-122 and right after Bludhaven gets nuked. Dick has just experienced the lowest lows that one could low. Jason seems to know all about it, and tries to help in the worst way possible. Jason is right and blunt and convoluted and so so insecure about where he stands with Dick. Dick doesn't know where he stands with Jason either, on account of all the murder, and his tactless approach to trying to confront Dick on the copious amounts of trauma that Dick is dealing with. BiB is my Jaydick bible.
I'd also say to just give the first few arcs a shot. Beginnings are meant for introductions! It gives a good sense of who Dick is, why he's here, and what his goals are. Exposition baby! And I'm once again thinking about how ultimately Dick kind of fails said goals. I love him but he makes me so emo. Blockbuster has also been his main villain since the beginning, up until. Yknow. He became deader than his namesake. There's also a few fear toxin based issues that are good for. well. understanding what his fears are. There's also a fear toxin scene in Batman: Orphans, but i'll just reblog the post i made of it so u don't have to read that one. The art is fun, the story is weird and just kinda. meh.
#60 is when Dick joins the force. The beginning of the end, so to speak, but we don't meet Catalina until #71.
#93 is That Issue. The infamous rape scene. The thing about his time with Catalina is that it was almost definitely meant to be explored for what it was- an abusive relationship. But DC wanted Nightwing in an event. It doesn't have any satisfactory end, Bruce (DC) calls Dick to fight in Gotham. He does. His story falls to the wayside for the bigger title. The worst thing that can happen to a DC character IMO is getting a Batman crossover. There was supposed to be an entire arc dedicated to what would happen to Dick in this abusive relationship. But we got 2 issues. And War Games. It pisses me off to absolutely no end. DC needed more mouths to kiss the ground that Batman walks on. They don't give a damn about the stories that exist outside their cash cow.
After all that, eventually Dick is back to his utterly depressing life. He joins the mob, finds a family, bad things happen to said family. (Mobbed Up, #107-111) He wants to protect the daughter, Sophia Tevis, and then Slade holds Sophia hostage to get Dick to teach his daughter Rose how to fight. He does, but he also teaches Rose how to question authority (aka her dad). Slade is not happy about that, and nukes Bludhaven. (Renegade, #112-117) See my earlier note about IRL reasons for dumbass plot points.
Nightwing 1996 has 2 annual issues (despite running for much longer than 2 years). The first annual is a fun murder mystery and i think a good look into how Dick handles relationships. He also reads as very aromantic/demiromantic who doesn't know it yet, but maybe that's just me, lol. the second annual is dog shit. Mark Andreyko can get bent, it sucked total ass and isn't worth reading.
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beesfairlyland · 7 months
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hi bee, i'm sorry for the vent, but i just really need to get this out. i've been into concepts since like... 2016 i think? first loattraction, then loassumption, and now non dualism. i used all of these to "get something" yes, even nd. sure, when i learned about nd i let go of desiring, but in the end i still do "want" to have "my" desired life as a human/"ego". i've been doing everything i read for nd, letting go of all labels, thoughts, etc. and it's been going well, but recently i've started worrying again. everything i did when i was still into both loa's changed absolutely nothing/didn't work for me (i've never "manifested" anything in these almost 8 years), so i'm worried about being stuck as a this human that i do not want to be at all forever. i'm worried about not stripping labels and letting go "good enough" and i'm worried that everyone on here is just feeding me lies about this freedom and liberation. do you have any advice for this? i'm just so desperate to stop identifying with the ego (and an ego i don't like being at that)
Heya hun!💗
It's okayy don't be sorry....i understand sometimes it get's soo frustrating that we need to take it out. I feel you I've been here too before.
Take a deep breathe and calm down. Ik it sucks being stuck in a loop of trying and trying again, in a loop of desiring. But baby you have to understand that Non dualism is not a method, ik you know this too. And uk it's okay if you wanna have your desires (more of beautiful experiences) , may be it's just you are not ready yet to KNOW yourSELF and that's totally fine. There's nothing to hurry about, nowhere to reach. Have some rest. Don't beat yourself up. Okay?
First things first i want you to KNOW that the experiences that you wanna have are nothing special. They are YOU. And Everything that this ego can think of it is already here. It's your choice what you wanna experience.
Rn you are aware of desiring things, from lack. Im not asking you to do nothing, ik it's just gonna make you anxious. Just bare with me hear me out (it's gonna go out of nd perspective). I want you to drop the idea of getting something. If you want to, first feel every shitty emotion you want to. Cry it out. Let it all out. If you wanna cry for whole day, go ahead. But after that, you won't go back to being aware of those feelings. Ofc you'll have thoughts but just don't entertain them. Not yours so they can get lost. Don't give feeling to that thought. And no you don't have to act like you have what you wanna experience, you have to KNOW that this dream gonna change for good. And that's inevitable. I want you to tap into your non dual state aka void state. But this time you are not putting it on a pedestal. I suggest you to read my post and Know what *void* actually is:
And if you don't wanna meditate....you can try lucid dreaming. And it can be beneficial to make you understand that you are not this mind-body. I lucid dream and it's soo fun. Go ahead and give it a try. Just KNOW that you can do it.
Remember it's all gonna be alright. It's destined. you came across all this knowledge for a reason.
Ik i am a non dualism blogger soo i should just stick to that. But ik where you coming from and me giving you more pointers, asking you to go within won't do any good to you. And im here to help you guys. Giving you some motivation about not giving up wouldn't do any good to you atleast in this situation.
Hope i could help you a lil bit! If you wanna ask something else feel free to send in an ask!
-love, bee🐝💗
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