#still the rumba and cha cha are my favourites I think

[decepti-geek]

My dumbass Strictly Come Dancing AU masterpost

So Strictly finally featured a dance to Power of Love a while back! which meant that like a fool, I ran away and started earnestly working on a silly idea I’d been sitting on, and this is the result. Heavy on the cygate, with Rodimus and Minimus as accidental breakout stars, a LOT of Postmodern Jukebox music, and a veeeery haphazard work-in-progress playlist.

The point of this is basically to make people who watch the show giggle a bit, I guess, but also! If anyone has any idea of who would judge/host (cause I got nothin’), or even ideas for extra couples, PLEASE drop by my inbox, and ditto a thousand times over if anyone can think of new song/dance style pairings for any of the couples!!! I wanna Talk about this AU okay, it’s silly and fluffy and it’s been giving me joy for months and hopefully it’ll be fun for people who read it too.

Under a cut cause this got L O N G.

A couple of notes: I’m definitely moving musicals week to much earlier in the competition, since musicals are like, a good 25% of my overall music taste, which doesn’t translate well to only having four or so couples left at that point. And a note about who the minibots get paired with - I know actual Strictly tends to match for height, but I feel like in Cybertronian society that could be taken in… a variety of bad ways, not least perpetuating the idea of former disposables or similar only being allowed to dance with other disposables. So I figure with this one, the system’s a little different (also i just want my OTPs to dance together okay).

This is also, admittedly, more drama-filled than actual Strictly appears to the casual viewer, BUT I know the tabloids make much of the show even if I’m not a habitual tabloid reader.

(And I know I have a lot of charlestons in here, shush, it’s my favourite dance).

So! Thus far, the professional dancers/celebs I have outlined are:

Brainstorm - who, honestly, is basically Kevin. He’s willing to push things a bit further than the others with choreography and concepts, and sometimes he does push things a bit too far and they come out kinda weird to the judges (think the charleston to Cantina Band), but still adored by the popular vote. It makes for an interesting combination when he’s matched with serious, dedicated Jack-of-all-limelights Perceptor, who I see as being a bit like a reverse Brian Cox?? He started out well-known in the academic sector, then made it big as, idk, an actor (in the Mads Mikkelsen vein) and maybe a bit of modelling, and now he’s wound up here (I just realised that a lot of my celebs are more famous than the majority on Strictly tend to be, OH WELL).

They clash a LOT in initial rehearsals, but somewhere along the line Perceptor comes round enough to see that no, he did not get paired with the frivolous pro who doesn’t care about winning - Brainstorm just has a unique way of showing his love for his craft.

Also, you know how every year there's like, one lady pro who sprints over and full on leaps at her partner when he's revealed? Yeah, that's Brainstorm.

I’d like to think they make it to the semi-finals. And I desperately want to say that they have a dance to She Blinded Me With Science (cha cha cha maybe?). Kinda also want to steal Kevin's Doctor Who tango idea that he did this year. I think you could squeeze a quickstep out of End Of The World As We Know It, and then they've got two PMJ songs: a charleston to Final Countdown, and a foxtrot to I Believe In A Thing Called Love. ALSO HALLOWEEN JIVE TO TIME WARP I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH.

Tarn - who is here mostly so I can have him dance the paso doble to Phantom of the Opera with Pharma. These two are both suuuuper committed to the competitive aspect, enough that they’re willing to put aside their initial, rather drastic ideological differences, although the bickering does eventually eat away at their partnership. They get eliminated about midway through (though they do make it to the equivalent of Blackpool), and subsequently have a brief fling followed by a dramatic split that the tabloids eat up every last morsel of.

Other songs I can see them dancing to include a quickstep or American Smooth to Intermission by Scissor Sisters, a charleston to Crazy In Love (same arrangement as Kevin and Louise’s just, y’know, maybe not Harley/Joker themed), and maaaaybe their rumba is PMJ’s version of Toxic, with possibly a tango to Killer by the Hoosiers.

There’s added tension, too, in that - since I’m trying to look at the ‘celebrity’ aspect in the broader way Cybertronians might, as well - Pharma’s own main professional rival is competing this year alongside him.

Said rival being partnered with Drift, who’s been on the team of pro dancers long enough that he’s undergone something of a shift. It used to be that he got the younger, more… shall we say, visually appealing celebrity dancers, and he’d happily choreograph routines that oozed as much danger and/or sex appeal as the producers called for - to the ire of more than one watching conjunx endura. While he might once or twice have encouraged that to go further behind the scenes in his early days, he’s matured the longer he’s been in the business. Following a bit of a new-age spiritual journey between two seasons of the show, Drift has since come to be regarded as a friendly, experienced face for the not-quite-so-young, nervously inexperienced celebs, though the audience hasn’t exactly been quick to forget his past.

The decision to partner him with Ratchet (physician to the rich and powerful; philanthropist; unflappable, no-nonsense, complete and utter grump) is therefore met with some confusion. This was a calculated move on the part of the show’s producers, though - in the early days of Drift’s run with the series, he botched a lift and came down from it with a pretty impressive sprain. Sparing no expense for their most prized dancer at the time, the best of the best was called in to sort him out.

There was a disagreement in the treatment room, concerning the morality of Drift seducing his latest celebrity partner away from her conjunx, and the resulting shouting match passed into legend among the production crew, even if it was somehow prevented from being leaked to the public. The higher-ups are now capitalising on this, as the whole thing is sure to explode in some sort of direction, and they want the ratings boost that will result once it does.

Except… it never explodes. See, that confrontation with Ratchet was the first half of what led Drift to revise his behaviour. He'd started his dancing career young, with a string of agents, managers, what have you at the beginning encouraging him to believe that there's no such thing as bad publicity, and it didn't matter who he hurt along the way. The fact that someone famed for his straightforwardness and his principles - in a famously cutthroat environment - was now calling him up on that behaviour was enough to make Drift begin to question it. Throw in meeting Wing on a hiking holiday a few years down the line, after a shaky year of competitions and an unexpected early elimination from the show, and he's ready to really start bettering himself.

It showed, obviously, but never so much before now, where Drift is actively trying to prove that he took Ratchet’s words on board. Ratchet is… a little freaked out by the intensity of his conviction to do so, but they work through it and develop one of the strongest working relationships of any on the show.

It takes until after the show to become anything more than a working relationship, because they're both rather shy in their own ways, but when it finally does no one's really surprised anymore.

They definitely dance the jive to Bad Case of Loving You, and I'm entertaining the idea of a Halloween salsa to Jump In The Line from Beetlejuice mostly for the staging potential of the moving furniture, especially the rocking chair and all the jokes to be had from that. :D

And after LL 25… they’ve gotta dance to Easter Parade by Emmy the Great, it’s just perfect for them. I think it’d work best as a waltz, with some editing.

There’s also Skids, whose star rapidly rose and then stayed at the top, upon entering the competitive dancing scene. He was a quick study and he's also a decent teacher, so he gets matched with star comedian Swerve, who has veeeery little confidence in his ability. Although it’s not something he entirely gets over, at least enough to get them both more than halfway, it IS something he sticks at after leaving the competition, and he stays in touch with Skids as well.

Nobody’s ever really sure if their regular meetups post-series are dance lessons or ‘dance lessons.’ (Mostly because Skids is very, very skilled at flying under the radar).

And I d e s p e r a t e l y  want to steal Kellie Bright’s dance to Oom Pah Pah for these two, cause a Viennese waltz set in a tavern is perfect for Swerve.

Lug is one half of the inevitable married pro couple, and I weirdly like the idea of her being matched with Windblade? Not really got any ideas for them on the song front, other than maaaaaybe a charleston to Nowadays from Chicago? but I think they’d make it a good way into the proceedings - they seem like they’d get along well, and Windblade’s got a natural grace to her.

Lug’s wife and partner in crime dance is Anode, who has a similarly capable celebrity student, in celebrated scientist and author Nautica. Unfortunately, these two don’t quite get off on the best foot, and a lot of initial promise becomes a flash in the pan that quickly falls apart. Their routines and skill are still pretty memorable (barring the one bad week that ruined things), even if they don’t make it as far.

They charleston to Magnificent Men In Their Flying Machines because cmon. Nautica’s an engineer and Anode is a literal biplane.

Perhaps surprisingly, I’m chucking Whirl in here as a professional, too - a new hire for this year, viewed by the producers as a bit of a risk - paired up with renowned psychologist and amnesiac deity Rung. The idea I’m running with is that for Whirl, the dancing is basically an outlet post-empurata. It lets him exhaust himself physically and mentally, as long as he completely throws himself into it (and boy does he ever)... so that he can blunt the edge of the hurt he’s still got bottled up. And before he found this outlet, he had a chequered past to say the least, which the media capitalises on immediately, plunging the new guy into the spotlight. The new guy adamantly refuses to be a sob story, or the subject of inspiration porn, and smashes more than one camera to illustrate this point, so all the attention ends up veering towards the negative as a result.

Rung, though - Rung can see, more than anything, that Whirl still needs help, no matter how adamant he might be that he’s found his own balance. Rung’s in this to learn and have fun - and for his faults, Whirl is a decent teacher - but he can never ignore when he sees someone hurting. At first, the most he does is quietly stand up to any stray reporters who come hassling (with the patented I’m-not-mad-I’m-just-disappointed approach), but they do eventually develop a firm friendship, once Whirl realises he’s actually got someone on his side for once.

Rung himself is in a Bad position to do anything more, given that even the three weeks of initial training was time enough to develop something of a bond; so instead, he quietly slips Whirl the number of a younger associate: someone who, he assures Whirl, is coming from a place of experience - not all professional, but personal, too. It takes a while, because well, it’s Whirl, but there comes a point where he approaches Rung looking a little awkward, and thanks him - Krok’s been a great help.

As for the actual competition, Rung’s forgettability and Whirl’s new reputation work against them and they leave fairly early; but every subsequent week sees Rung in the audience to watch Whirl in the group numbers. They take absolutely aaaaaaaages after that to get their shit together, but by the time the next year rolls around, Rung’s position as audience support is official and constant, thanks to his ‘dating one of the pros’ status.

So far, I’ve only got two songs for them: a charleston to Caravan Palace’s cover of Black Betty, and a Viennese waltz to the Waltz of the Hours from Coppelia.

There’s also Jazz, who’s something of a legend even among the pros, mostly for his seeming ability to match up to even the very greatest of pressures. It’s something that’s seen him through to multiple finals over the years, and this year should be no exception…

… Were it not for the slight snag in that Mirage, a Towers noble, is our That One Celebrity; who the public perceive to have had just a bit too much prior dance experience for the competition to be entirely fair. And he’s Jazz’s partner.

I see Mirage being picked on particularly because the Towers upbringing probably does involve some kind of formal dance training. So these two are really, really good, but that unfortunately means they’re just a bit too good for what’s supposed to be a half-amateur contest. A low public vote and a bad dance-off sees them eliminated just shy of the semi-final.

I really can’t explain why, but I’m fixated on the idea of their charleston being a Halloween one, to Remains of the Day from Corpse Bride, and they could have maybe a quickstep (??) to Oh My My by Summer Kennedy (thanks Clara!). They also have the dubious honour of being the only couple I've found a samba song for: another PMJ one, which is Such Great Heights. (I Dislike sambas in general cause they seem so tricky and clunky most of the time, but if anyone can pull one off it’s these two).

And then, Primus love him, there’s Soundwave, who is possibly more experienced, talented and capable than any other pro in the competition, past or present (though Jazz, despite being his usual partner, would dispute that).

Which, of course, means he gets signed up to coach the complete and utter duds. Shockwave was never really going to get far in this, being a former Senator of questionable popularity, and, as Whirl would put it, the token empurata victim. That's all before the fact that he's just… really crap at dancing. Soundwave does his best, but he doesn't exactly have much to work with, and they're eliminated second week. As poor Soundwave has sadly become a bit accustomed to over the years.

In a similar boat for the first time this year is Knock Out - which, at least at first, he is none too pleased about. The guy he gets matched with is technically an athlete - but endurance and strength have never exactly been the mainstream focus of Cybertronian sport, even if they're what Breakdown has in spades.

He also has plenty of enthusiasm and a very earnest desire to try, that Knock Out can't help but be charmed by, even if it's not enough to get them more than about four weeks in. I think it'd be really sweet if these two had an American Smooth to Wouldn't It Be Lovely from My Fair Lady.

Someone who's had a mostly-friendly rivalry with Knock Out while they've both been on the show is Rodimus, who's in that same flashy, pretty vein along with Drift (his professional partner, incidentally), but who's been willing basically from the get-go to take on whoever he needs to season by season.

In short, he's a bit of a wild card, and this year he's been handed the younger (and less famous) of the Ambus brothers. The problem in this particular case is Minimus’ chronic, painful stage fright. Dominus, in his misguided wisdom, thought trial by fire would be good for him, and laid on the peer pressure until Mims agreed, but he is very much a fish out of water at first, and it shows.

The thing is, though - most of his mistakes are a result of nerves, rather than lack of talent. The judges do comment on his natural poise during the traditional ballroom numbers, and for all that Roddy acts dumb, he's shrewd enough to work gradually on bringing Minimus out of his shell, often taking advantage of Mims’ intense focus during rehearsals.

Because he might be shaky on the performance front, but Minimus Ambus has never been known for shoddiness in his work, and doesn’t plan to start now. And Roddy uses that to his advantage - he’ll sneak in extra moves mid-week, while they’re running through a routine, and Minimus will be stood there at the end of it, having just managed something he was obviously capable of, but never would’ve imagined he could be.

A few weeks in, and he’s thriving.

Dance-wise, I'd say definitely a jive to Don’t Stop Me Now, and I like the idea of them having Rebel Rebel for their paso. I want them to make it to the final just so Rodimus can choreograph a showdance to Dare (because try as I might, I just Cannot make it fit one of the usual dance styles. Roddy’s probably had it saved up as the song he WILL showdance to in his first final). I'm thinking as well, an American Smooth to Grace Kelly by Mika cause it honestly fits them really nicely, AND Lost Coastlines could work as a quickstep song I reckon, so let's give it to the first and second in command of the LL! Idk if I Do Adore by Mindy Gledhill has quite the right tempo for a foxtrot, but I think even if it needs a bit of tweaking it’d be really nice. And another potentially really random one, but: charleston to You Give A Little Love from Bugsy Malone (for musicals week?).

Also, they totally cha cha (or maybe salsa?) to Does Your Mother Know, specifically the Christine Baranski version (and they do the Leg Thing from the scene in the movie, you know the one).

As coincidence would have it, Minimus’ own brother-in-law is also a celebrity contestant this year! Rewind has gone from Ambus arm candy to acclaimed filmmaker/journalist in his own right, and for his stint on Strictly he's been paired up with Chromedome. This guy has managed to get himself the nickname ‘Unlucky’, on account that he's fallen in love and subsequently into relationships with not one but three of his previous celebrity partners. There was never any cheating or anything otherwise untoward involved, but things always seemed to end within a year, leaving Chromedome heartbroken and never really up to his best in the show following each breakup. This should have been one such year - after Pivot - except that his new partner is so very sharp and exuberant and just plain magnetic that poor Domey finds himself drawn in regardless.

And I say poor Domey, because as mentioned above, Dominus Ambus is alive and kicking, not to mention in the audience every weekend.

Things get even more complicated when Rewind realises he’s also kinda interested in his new partner - possibly responding to Chromedome’s own feelings, no matter how hard he tries to hide them. They attract more than their fair share of judgemental social media comments, both as a result of things the tabloids dig up and from people speculating that they have a little too much chemistry on the dancefloor. Eyes are also, obviously, on Dominus each week, and he seems oddly impassive about the whole thing - but then, he always has been very guarded about his private affairs. It’s generally assumed that things will come to a head between him and Rewind soon enough, though.

Songs include a salsa to Faster by Matt Nathanson and - is it too on the nose for them to waltz to Memory during musicals week? I also want their charleston to be the PMJ cover of Chasing Pavements.

And this is soooooooooo cheesy, but I really want their rumba to be Unfaithful by Rihanna. THAT one gets a load of media attention, and it's the week following that they bow out instead of allowing the usual elimination process to go ahead.

The twist comes a couple of weeks later, after the media storm has died down; it gets stirred right back up again the moment a photo surfaces of Rewind and Dominus leaving a screening of Rewind’s latest hit… each of them holding one of Chromedome’s hands.

Some say that the reason Chromedome’s partners tended to leave him (until now) has something to do with his continued association/professional partnership with Prowl: a very old flame, but more importantly, a one-mech embodiment of the Strictly Curse.

This guy is a mess, and he gets everywhere: as well as Chromedome, it’s rumoured he was involved with Jazz at one point, and then there’s the assorted flings with his celebrity partners, including the two-year period where he made his way through both members of the same band who signed up for the show in succession... as well as the other four who didn’t.

He’s scary good technically though, and more than a little merciless, so no matter his reputation he usually manages to push his partners quite far into the competition. This year’s offering is scientist Tarantulas, who’s another bit of token representation, for the beastformers this time (my imaginary Cybertronian broadcasting network is apparently not the most progressive).

There’s no polite way to put this: I imagine they’re at each other almost immediately. Both very sharp, and driven, and inventive, and what begins as a glorious meeting of minds in initial training, ends in a quest for the nearest store cupboard. It’s not the most stable of arrangements - sure, Tarantulas is utterly smitten with Prowl’s vision and determination, but Prowl often struggles reining him in and getting him to knuckle down, and tends to resort to leaning a bit too heavily on the personal side of their relationship to get what he wants.  As with Ratchet and Drift, everyone’s on tenterhooks waiting for things to blow up, but somehow they actually reach the final. How long they’ll last beyond that is anyone’s guess.  

These guys have quite a few songs already. Paso to Poison by Alice Cooper (for Halloween week no less, it begins with Prowl trussed up on a giant fake web, and Tarantulas descending from the ceiling in fine accordance with Strictly tradition), jive to Jailhouse Rock, and their rumba is the PMJ cover of Blank Space, it's a Prowl song, fight me.

Also I'd like to think they could manage, like, a foxtrot to Viva La Vida but don't quote me on that. I also like the idea of a tango to Control by Halsey? And they don't have a musicals song yet so now I wanna chuck in a waltz to Sibella from Gentleman's Guide to Love and Murder since that's my current obsession.

Elsewhere we have one of the younger dancers, who's been actively mentored by Prowl and has a not-so-friendly rivalry with Rodimus… Getaway!!! (Professional partner: Skids).

He actually goes out in the first week, bless him, through no fault of his own, as for some reason the producers saw fit to match him with Thunderclash. Predictably, this was an unmitigated disaster, and for the PR team it's even more of a problem, as one of the biggest names of this season has been kicked off before the show’s had a chance to begin - apparently, the routine was so bad that even Thunderclash’s fame wasn't enough to save him. For Getaway, it means that he's now hanging around at a bit of a loose end, since he still has to be there for the group numbers. Which gives him plenty of time to cause problems for…

Last but by no conceivable means least, Tailgate! When he joins the professional troupe he seems quite naive and childish, to the point that he’s not exactly taken seriously at first (for anyone who watches the show, think how AJ and his partners get a lot of high school/teen romance themed dances despite him being in his 20s).

THEN in this current series, who should come along but an unlikely celebrity entrant who Tailgate just so happens to be a MASSIVE fan of. Cyclonus is a singer of a… somewhat acquired taste, who’s been talked into this by his agent and is frankly dreading the latin dancing but can manage a tolerable waltz from the get-go. Being the aforementioned huge fan, Tailgate sweet-talks and pulls a few strings behind the scenes to get paired up with someone other than his usual ‘youngest celeb in the competition’.

As is the format of the show, Cyclonus doesn’t find out who his partner is until the ‘introduction’ episode; he’d been hoping for someone experienced and dependable, like Soundwave, so when he finds out the result he has misgivings to say the least. Tailgate by contrast is over the moon (that his scheme worked), and it definitely shows. That nets Cyclonus a bit of negative attention right out of the gate - he’s here looking all stoic and uptight and serious while Tailgate’s practically bouncing with joy, and words like ‘ungrateful’ and ‘stuck up’ get floated around social media a lot. (Although his painfully awkward expressions do become a bit of an ongoing meme).

(The expressions thing is also a problem during performances cause like, the whole serious, intense semi-glare works perfectly for a tango or a paso, but that shit will not fly in a waltz or a cha cha, and boy do the judges let him know it).

Tailgate, for his part, is a little surprised to discover how very reticent Cyclonus is, even in rehearsals. He’s dedicated enough to learning the routines, and quite adept at the performance aspect mostly thanks to his already strong connection to music, but trying to get even a word of small talk out of him is like trying to get blood from a stone. Tailgate takes it in his stride though, and chatters enough for two people to compensate.

It doesn’t take him long to suss out that Cyclonus isn’t entirely happy to be here, and he responds to that in a similar way, scheduling in little things to do together in their breaks and taking care at first not to push Cyclonus too far outside his comfort zone choreography-wise. He also, slightly misguidedly, tries to encourage the idea of them hanging out with his own professional partner… said partner, unfortunately, being Whirl, who manages to get right up Cyclonus’ nose.

(Those two have more success hitting it off when Cyclonus walks outside on a break, only to witness Whirl tearing the latest loitering photographer a new one. From there, it’s a weird kind of forged-in-strife bond, as they realise they’re about the only two people in these studios who actively flee media attention when it appears).

(Cyclonus has found some kind of storeroom that he uses as a bolt-hole in the event of said unwanted attention; Whirl absolutely sniffs said bolt-hole out, and proceeds to mercilessly bug him on his breaks).

Obviously, Cyclonus can’t fail to be touched by Tailgate’s efforts, and his easy kindness - though again, obviously, he’d never admit it. And thus begins the saga of the judges’ glowing comments, week by week, on Cyclonus’ performance skills (despite the face) and the evident chemistry they have while they’re dancing… only for Cyclonus to clam right the fuck up the moment the music stops. The way he acts during the rehearsal segments says a lot, though, even if he barely speaks during them.

Basically, they’re the couple where my mum would be watching them shrewdly each week, nodding and going “He’s head over heels, look.” and we, her dense af family, would reply “You what???”

So this whole thing continues to (very) slowly gather momentum for several weeks until.... Enter Getaway!! Who is salty that not only was he eliminated so very quickly, but also that literally all of the press attention went to Thunderclash, leaving him hanging around completely uselessly until next year. He decides to worm his way back into the limelight by stirring up some Drama, and sets his sights on poor Tailgate as his target.

What he doesn’t expect, however (and neither does Cyclonus really) is that his meddling almost pushes Cyclonus to quit the competition altogether - not feeling like he deserves or has anything to offer to Tailgate, but also unwilling to stay and watch all this bullshit unfold, especially now that the media’s caught wind of it. Unfortunately, Cyclonus’ misgivings get into the rumour mill somehow, and by the time Tailgate hears about them, his partner has apparently already handed in his notice. He then drops Getaway like a hot potato and goes running off to quit himself (because really, these two are both disasters), and it’s up to Whirl to drag Cyclonus out of the storeroom where he’s been brooding and get these two to actually talk, goddammit!

Aaaaaaand once that’s sorted, they’re still terribly awkward about pretty much everything. But! They’re getting there!!! By the time they reach the semi-final they’re the centre of plenty of gossip, though there’s no proof of anything yet as Whirl is being fucking militant about keeping non-show cameras away from their studio. It’s in the week following that someone finally gets a photo of them: on a break, sat outside, Cyclonus kissing Tailgate’s hands.

Dances! Cha cha to Power Of Love, obviously, since that's what kicked this whole thing off. (Am I a terrible person if they jive to Only The Good Die Young?) Then there's a charleston to Boyfriend by Lou Bega, a salsa to I Want You Back, and a rumba to the PMJ version of Jolene, all choreographed post-Getaway.

And I am VERY excited because I've realised they could waltz to Love Like You. They'd also have a Viennese waltz to No One Else from Great Comet in musicals week, and I like the idea of a tango to Devil’s Backbone, and a paso to Coat of Arms by Jonathan Thulin. And possibly an Argentine tango to La Llrona, if it was arranged the way it is in Coco (“Alas, Llrona in sky blue”, I have to, guys. I have to) .

ALSO I'm going to cheat and say that Power Of Love is just one of their regular week dances, since it isn't just from a movie, as I also want a foxtrot to Beauty and the Beast because a) it’s perfect for them and b) mandatory A Day Or Forever reference.

They make it to the final, and showdance to Shrike by Hozier. AND because I am the creator of this au and My Word Is God, I’m hereby declaring that they end up as the winners. So there. :p

And congrats to anyone who actually made it this far!!!! As I said above, please send me ideas for songs, judges, anything, really! :D

[dwtspd]

DWTS 25 Week 2

The last time we had a two-night event with contestants learning two dances in WEEK TWO, was also the last time a married couple competed on the show. Huh. Well, good thing is that each couple does one ballroom and one latin. Bad news is that they are learning two dances in week 2. Bear in mind that for their week 1 dance they usually have 2-3 weeks to prepare, and in week 2 that rehearsal time is suddenly cut short. And then now they have to cope with not one but two dances.

Night 1 - ballroom

Debbie and Alan - Quickstep I like Debbie’s positive attitude regarding her condition. There was a leap in the middle that looked a bit messy, otherwise it was pretty good. 7-6-7 T20

Nikki and Artem - Waltz Nikki dedicated this dance to her grandmother. They used very little of the stage but the background was gorgeous. Nikki can work on extending her arm lines more moving on in the competition. 7-7-7 T21

Lindsey and Mark - Quickstep Animal costume? Wild sets? Gotta be Mark! Cute dance, I like the little quirks like flapping their hands and arms like flapping wings. 7-7-7 T21

Barbara and Keo - Tango I found this dance appropriately choreographed. Simple, but to let Barbara shine in. I agree with Len - could be sharper. And it would have been nice if she kept a straight face until the end. 6-5-6 T17

Nick and Peta - Foxtrot This dance was so short! Why? It was pretty nice! He still looked kinda stiff and could extend his arms more, be more flow-y. Like the dandelions. 7-6-6 T19

Drew and Emma - Quickstep Hey Drew! That was pretty uninhibited for a guy who hurt his hamstring the day before. Risky for Emma to give him those shoes. They draw attention to the feet. Not the cleanest performance, but definitely entertaining. I saw him trying to keep on his toes. Good choreography from Emma. The “Mark Ballas face” lmao. He’s about 80% there for that. 7-6-7 T20

Vanessa and Maks - Foxtrot I like the lighting at the beginning but that part lasted a bit too long. It took up a whole verse. As a result the dance felt a bit too short. There was not as much travelling I would like in a foxtrot, but I thought Vanessa nailed the character. 8-8-8 T24 I don’t think it was a three whole points above Lindsey and Nikki, maybe 22-23 would be more appropriate.

Frankie and Witney - Tango Weird song...it has the mood but it just didn’t really sit as a tango. It’s pretty fast too - props for Frankie for keeping up! I thought Frankie’s intense face looked kinda awkward. He felt a little robotic, maybe it’s the back. But he’s working hard to push through it. 8-7-8 T23 I would have given it slightly less but one point behind a slightly overscored Vanessa seems about right.

Terrell and Cheryl - Foxtrot This is the first time I’m hearing this song, and I’m not even sure it is the original version (or true enough to it). This dance was okay. I found it boring. As soon as it ended I already forgot what they did. 7-6-7 T20 I would give him less. It’s not as good as Debbie and Drew.

Sasha and Gleb - Viennese Waltz Another dance that felt really short. Sasha’s dress is very nice, but the red lighting didn’t let the colour shine through. Sasha’s dancing is nice, there just felt something lacking and I can’t put my finger on it. 8-8-7 T23

Victoria and Val - Tango Ugh I hate this song. Victoria was great though. She had intensity and a very nice frame. 8-8-8 T24 It is fair but shouldn’t be tied with Vanessa.

Derek and Sharna - Foxtrot Wow! This was pretty smooth and sweet. I had a smile watching Derek. With some fine-tuning, he could become really good at ballroom. Derek’s mum is such a knowledgeable DWTS fan. Love that. 6-6-7 T19 I thought it could have one more point.

Jordan and Lindsay - Viennese Waltz Mesmerizing! I knew Len would complain about the staccato, but it complimented the music so I can look over that. Bruno described it well - musical interpretation. 8-8-8 T24 In the lead again, as deserved.

In jeopardy: Terrell, Barbara.

Eliminated: Barbara. Keo really can’t catch a break.

Now, I think they should have left both eliminations to after the second night because now Barbara doesn’t get to perform her latin dance even though she trained for it.

Night 2 - latin

Short opening number, but I wasn’t expecting any opening number at all. Erin’s dress was oversized.

Nikki and Artem - Samba Ah, I knew we’d be hearing this song sooner or later. Was this sexy? Yes. Could it be a lot sexier? Definitely. Nikki felt like she was stepping very gingerly and as a result a large part of the musicality was lost. 6-6-6 T18

Victoria and Val - Rumba “It feels like I’m choking you.” LOL. This was not a very good song for a rumba. Some of the moves were very rough and I don’t know if it is the song or Victoria not being able to feel her legs. That was the most stern birthday wish I have ever heard in my life. 7-6-7 T20 I would tie it with Nikki tbh

Derek and Sharna - Paso doble Derek was trying very hard to be fierce and intense so he looked very tense and tightly wound throughout. Some of his moves were a bit jumpy. 7-6-6 T19 I thought all the three dances so far should be the same score.

Sasha and Gleb - Samba I like Sasha, I hate this song. But I get the sentiment. Nice message from Sasha. It still felt very shy, but Sasha started getting more into it as the dance went on. By the way to the men, you will never win prom king in a silk pyjamas shirt like Gleb’s. 8-7-7 T22

Nick and Peta - Argentine Tango Hmm Vanessa you might wanna rethink your faith in your husband’s memory. Nick still looked very stiff, but he did not look to be trying too hard. He was stompy. 7-6-6 T19

Jordan and Lindsay - Samba Holy crap. Jordan is a cute guy but that was HOT. I don’t know if I want him to keep the denim vest or lose a feel more layers of clothing. That was a wonderfully entertaining samba with mostly great execution - I found some bits a little jerky. 8-8-8 T24 compared to the previous night I could have spared them a 9. Also did I mention this is one of my favourite songs this whole year?

Drew and Emma - Rumba The staging looks very similar to Rashad’s rumba... This is Drew’s best dance. He had nice flowing arms. Kinda stiff at the hips and throughout his body. That was that one point where one spotlight in back washed out the whole scene. I don’t know what CAI said that was so funny but Bruno fell out of his seat so like Drew said, he “must be doing something right.” 7-7-7 T21

Debbie and Alan - Argentine Tango Debbie has to point her feet more and her legs must be sharper. Nice characterisation. The whole thing felt a bit soft for an AT. 7-7-7 T21

Vanessa and Maks - Salsa Those pants don’t look good on Vanessa and I think they might have swallowed up her hip action, because it looked like she was working her body. I like the faces she was making. “You know Tom isn’t going anywhere, right?” THAT’S RIGHT. TOM WILL NEVER LEAVE DWTS. YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST FROM MAKS. 8-8-7 T23

Terrell and Cheryl - Samba I’ve never heard anyone compare relationships to Kraft cheese before. Well okay, I think TO enjoyed himself but once again I didn’t really remember any of their moves. I only know there was a fire truck theme. 6-6-7 T19

Lindsey and Mark - Salsa Whoohoo! Nothing weird and wild about this, it was just straight salsa all the way through. Fantastic 8-8-8 T24

Frankie and Witney - Cha cha Lmaskdnjsglan Frankie is so cute. Can he create an instagram account dedicated to doing yoga with his cat? And damn, this was a hella entertaining routine! Great energy, great fun, could use a bit more hips action. Not the most technically advanced dance, but he got the crowd on their feet and hollering. 8-8-9 T25 first nine of the competition!!! I think he should only tie with Jordan and Lindsey, if anything, these could be tied at 25 altogether. Frankie was the most entertaining, but the other two had more technique. They are my top three though.

In jeopardy: Nick and Debbie

Eliminated: Debbie. SO much for Alan’s first run as pro. I think he did okay and will probably get another shot next season.

Next week is “guilty pleasure” week and I think we haven’t had that since season 15. Tom also mentioned some stuff about upcoming weeks - most memorable year, halloween, and I’m not sure if I heard wrong, but I think he said Disney night. So we’re having Disney night every season now? Not the worst decision.

[sailorzakuro]

Week 4 Songs

A bit late but doing this now XD.

Alex and Neil: Go Your Own Way by Fleetwood Mac (Tango) - The song doesn’t seem to have enough power to it for a Tango but sure XD. I feel like Alex could possibly impress me with the Tango considering my issue with her so far has been a lack of flow in her moves.

Catherine and Johannes: Single Ladies by Beyonce (Charleston) - Okay I’m VERY interested to see what this one’s gonna be like.

Emma and Anton: Send In The Clowns by Barbra Streisand (Viennese Waltz) - The title of this song is VERY misleading XD. I’ve only listened to about a minute and a half of it but it seems very slow for a Waltz of the Viennese kind. Maybe they’ll speed it up? Idk XD.

V.Emma and Aljaz: Kids In America by Kim Wilde (Jive) - Oh fuck my mum’s been obsessed with this song recently THAT’S GONNA BE FUN. I always think of the Riverdale version of this lmao but it’s a decent song choice XD. Not sure how Emma will be at the Jive considering how her Triple Cha went, but she could still surprise me idk.

( @missemperor ) Michelle and Giovanni: Quimbara by Johnny Pacheco and Celia Cruz (Salsa) - Omg fun Michelle is making an appearance and I am here for it XD. Song should be great!!

Saffron and AJ: Because You Loved Me by Celine Dion (Couple’s Choice: Contemporary) - K I’ve been meaning to mention this for a while but THE COUPLE’S CHOICE IS NOT A GOOD IDEA FOR A REGULAR DANCE. Seriously it should be like a semi-final thing, having it mixed in with the other dances ruins the sentiment and meaning of it. THAT BEING SAID Saffron’s not doing a song that was released in the last 10 years? WHAT?! I mean I think she said it was a relative’s favourite song so MAKES SENSE but still I’m in shock XD. I know how difficult contemporary can be (I got a C at GCSE where we mainly did contemporary IT’S HARD) aaaaand I feel like Saffron’s gonna annoy me again XD. The facial expressions are v cringey for non-actors XD.

Chris and Karen: Saturday Night’s Alright (For Fighting) by Elton John (Jive) - FOR ONCE HE’S DOING A SONG I PROPERLY KNOW I’M SO HAPPY XD. I really hope Chris can give the energy for the Jive, since that was my only thing I really criticised about his Charleston. But hey my favourite couple’s doing my favourite dance THAT CAN’T BE BAD AT ALL I doubt it’ll be aesthetically 50s so won’t be prime perfect for me but I love everything he does XD.

David and Nadiya: From Now On by Hugh Jackman (Quickstep) - Movie week was last week but okay. Oddly I think David will be better at the Quickstep since he’s probably used to using his legs fast in footie XD.

Dev and Dianne: Dancing With A Stranger by Sam Smith ft. Normani (Cha Cha Cha) - Another week 4 Triple Cha from Dianne I hope Dev can use his hips XD. Again thinking they’re gonna speed up the song cos the first minute seems a bit too slow XD.

Karim and Amy: Paradise by George Ezra (Tango) - Exact opposite of a Samba, interesting choice XD. Song seems like it’d work (although I always think of the Coldplay song cos when that came out it was EVERYWHERE always reminds me of primary school XD) and I’m excited to see a new side of Karim!

Kelvin and Oti: Ain’t No Sunshine by Bill Withers (Rumba) - Straight ladies and queer men, eat your fucking heart out XD. Cool song, I think Kelvin will be good at the Rumba since he had such nice flow in the Samba and showed being a good leader for Oti in the Waltz XD.

Mike and Katya: Come On Eileen by Dexys Midnight Runners (Quickstep) - This song always reminds me of my second year PT at college XD. Whenever she was late I’d sing that to myself XD. Feel like I’ll enjoy this one!

Will and Janette: Senorita by Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello (Foxtrot) - And for this one I ALWAYS thing of (G)I-dle XD. Oh he was on such a good song track with Pokemon then they hit me with this XD. I don’t even like listening to a minute of it to get a vibe XD. Maybe his dance will overshadow the song? XD. He’s had so much energy so far it’ll be nice to see him in a slower dance XD.

K week 4 seems decent XD. A lot I am excited for so should be an interesting show!

[lnguages]

Hi! I've been following you for a while (I have a langblr and a passion for languages as well) and I love your blog. Thank you so much for all your work. It's so hard to find someone learning Portuguese on here! I was wondering about your story - how you got into the languages you study now. And also, as a fellow Spanish and Portuguese learner, do you have any tips on how to keep the two separate? Thank you!

Hi! Thank you so, so much for your message - I really appreciate it and it makes me so happy to hear from a fellow Portuguese learner!!!!!

About how I got into studying languages - this is going to be very long!! Basically, when I was about 14 or 15 I became very interested in Latin music and started teaching myself Spanish. I was taking dance classes at the time and I loved the songs that were played for salsa, cha-cha, rumba and bachata. In primary school I had studied Spanish very briefly so at that point I already had a vague notion of how Spanish worked, how it was spelled and pronounced, how verbs were conjugated (I had learned the present, the present perfect and ir + a at school) so I just kind of tried to figure out the lyrics and then looked them up and learned them. I discovered a lot of Latin pop/rock/urban artists and started learning their songs because I really enjoyed them. Around that time as well I became a fan of the pop opera quarter Il Divo who sing in Spanish a lot. One of the members of that band is Spanish, so at one point, when I found some interviews with him, or Spanish and Mexican articles about the band, I spent several nights translating the articles into Polish, line by line. 

When I started high school, at 15, I chose Spanish as a foreign language (the other one was English, which is compulsory in Poland). It was a beginners’ class so I continued learning it myself. A year later I got a scholarship to a school in England and I chose Spanish as one of my A-level subjects. It soon became my favourite subject, together with History, and when it came to thinking about university applications Spanish just seemed like an obvious choice you know? Because I enjoyed it so much, and languages had always been my forte (actually back in Poland English was pretty much the only subject I really excelled at). So I considered applying for Spanish and Linguistics, or Spanish and History, and then at some point I got the idea of becoming a translator and I suddenly became very interested in Portuguese.

One of my Spanish teachers was also a professor of both Spanish and Portuguese at the University of Bath, and she was incredibly encouraging and she advised me to study two languages at uni - she actually taught me a little bit of basic European Portuguese while I was still at school and gave me lots of resources. I remember when I first listened to Disney songs in Portuguese I thouht it was a horrible language hahaha I thought it sounded really strange! But during my first week at university I fell in love with it. 

As for keeping the two languages separate, I will admit that at the beginning it was incredibly hard. I would swap “ou” and “o”, write “punto” for “ponto” and overuse “lhe” so much because Spanish just puts “le”everywhere. Actually by the time I finished my language course in Lisbon and met some Spaniards up in Porto the reverse happened, I struggled to speak Spanish to them and kept thinking in Portuguese and looking for Spanish equivalents of Portuguese constructions lol. Literally the other day I was talking to one of my former Spanish teachers and kept saying “né” at the end of every sentence, it was so bad! But I’ve improved a lot. I think when you arrive at a more or less advanced level it at both they stop being so intrusive. Last year I introduced a studying routine where I would limit myself to one language per day. I would do my Spanish homework, do my reading, listen to music/the radio in Spanish on one day and then the next day I wouldn’t touch Spanish at all. Of course it never is that simple but as a rule of thumb I try never to go from one straight into the other. I also think the key to this particular combination of languages is pronunciation. Whether you’re focussed on the Brazilian or the European variety, they both sound so different to Spanish that when you hear them it’s impossible to be confused. So for example, when I’m read a text I usuallly start by reading a couple of pages outloud (or at least having the voice in my head do it for me); or if I have a grammar exercise to do I also read the example outloud. For me, once I get into a ‘pronunciation framework’ I rarely get confused, unless I’m trying to use a word that I know in only one of the two. 

I hope this is a satisfactory answer! I’m so sorry it’s so long!!! 

[sailorzakuro]

SCD Semi-Final Thoughts

Lol can I be bothered no am I gonna force myself to do it anyway yes btw I might get emotional and sentimental when I talk about you know who cos like I’ve accepted this is his last week, I haven’t spoiled it but like I KNOW.

Emma and Anton (Cha Cha Cha) - Honestly the judges praised this a bit too much IMO XD. It had no dynamics, her legs weren’t right and it had very lacklustre body action. For a semi-final that did not deserve the score it got. Sorry I love Anton and Emma’s great but thank fuck they had a second dance if you know what I mean.

Kelvin and Oti (Quickstep) - Perfect. All that needs to be said really.

Chris and Karen (Viennese Waltz) - POOR CHRIS he was doing so well until he missed that step. His frame is improving and his footwork was nice, his free hand is getting better and he had nice rhythm. It seemed cos of his mess up they marked him RIGHT down. Rip. I loved it Chris screw them XD.

Karim and Amy (Argentine Tango) - I think maybe the choreo was a bit too advanced for Karim XD. I think he did pretty well with it though! It looked fine but I could see that sometimes he was a bit unsure of himself. AMAZING effort though like WOW I just think he was given a bit too much to attempt especially with half the time. If that were a normal week dance maybe he would have done better but unfortunately it wasn’t.

Emma and Anton (Waltz) - Aww Anton’s so precious he finally got to do a decent Waltz XD. Emma’s frame has REALLY improved can I just say like even from the American Smooth and the Quickstep it’s gotten SO MUCH BETTER she’s extending her neck out more and she looks truly professional in hold now like YAAS. It wasn’t quite perfect but like MAN IT WAS GOOD.

Kelvin and Oti (Paso Doble) - I did love it, honestly, I thought Kelvin’s intensity and how he worked with the choreo was amazing. But I do agree that he needed to extend more. The Paso does have a lot of sharp dynamics (and you should know by now I’m a SUCKER for sharp dynamics) but it just needed more of a mix of dynamics, using slower ones when extending his body would have made it look so much neater.

Chris and Karen (Rumba) - CHRIS STOP MAKING ME EMOTIONAL YOU’RE A COMEDIAN YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO MAKE ME LAUGH WHY ARE YOU SUCH A GOOD ACTOR LIKE FUCK. Honestly tho he did better on this than I thought he would XD. He actually had nice flow in his body, like his arm did look a bit more like he was doing a jelly arm boogie (that description tho) but like it was still there XD. Again it wasn’t perfect WE KNOW ALL THIS but like rip Karen she’s going out on a Rumba again XD. THIS ISN’T EVEN FOR CERTAIN I’M NOT SPOILING IT DW but like there’s no way it’s not them and I’m gonna get sentimental because WE FUCKING STAN CHRIS AND KAREN ON THIS BLOG AND NOW I’M TRULY SAYING GOODBYE TO THEM he’s done so well and he’s come so far and as much as I’d love to see him do his Charleston or his Street/Commercial or his Paso Doble again in the final I’m just glad we got to see them once because they were SO amazing and he’s improved so much all while being absolutely HILARIOUS he took everything he was told in the best way and honestly I know it’s gonna be like 1 week without him but I am gonna MISS HIM LIKE MAD next week. He’ll be in the losers dance but I’m gonna miss him sooooo so so so much he was the only one I knew beforehand this year and has remained my favourite for just how amazing he is, Karen I also love you queen you always snatch my wig like I’ve just done a Samba to Backstreet Boys with how amazingly you’ve taught this man and wow this is deep I’m sorry I just love them and cannot believe they’ve got this far, gonna be a dull final without them T_T <3 <3 <3.

(oh shit there’s another one oops)

Karim and Amy (American Smooth) - IT WAS GOOD UNTIL THE LIFT RIP if it weren’t for that lift he might have gotten a 40 IDK but like... I think it just threw him off afterwards and he couldn’t get back into character but I think he did amazing as always XD.

Oo ranking, I’ll do it individual dances rather than couples so it goes...

Kelvin and Oti (Quickstep) Chris and Karen (Rumba) Emma and Anton (Waltz) Chris and Karen (Viennese Waltz) Kelvin and Oti (Paso Doble) Karim and Amy (American Smooth) Karim and Amy (Argentine Tango) Emma and Anton (Cha Cha Cha)

K now, going into the final... I’d be INCREDIBLY SHOCKED if they go out this week but I think I’m backing Kelvin and Oti now. THE SURPRISE CONTENDER IF YOU WILL. I mean if Chris miraculously makes it through then I’M STILL BACKING HIM but since I’m not dumb I know it’s unlikely next week I’ll be singing all praises for Kelvin and Oti XD. OO NEXT WEEK I’LL KNOW THE WINNER THOUGH cos it’s all on one night well next week is gonna be like a big party wow I’ll even talk about the losers dance cos IT’S THE BEST PART OF THE SHOW see you next week when I’ll either be really happy Karim won, really happy Anton won, BUZZING that Kelvin and Oti won, or absolutely shitting my trousers jaw on the floor lost my voice from screaming bust a hole in the floor from jumping up and down probably a little tipsy that Chris and Karen won XD.