#still sighing smh at myself what led me here

[jewishcissiekj]

And what if I said Lesbian flag color picked from pictures of Mon Mothma and Asajj Ventress. Would my crack ship sound implausible then.

[ethanharli]

Requested: On Tumblr; May I ask for a Giyuu x male!Reader smut? Perhaps the reader being a little rough with Giyuu please?

Pairing(s): Giyuu Tomioka x Top Male Reader.

Warning(s): NSFW/SMUT, Bottom Tomioka, Energetic reader, Choking, Slight dirty talk and degradation, Hair pulling, ✨ Aftercare. ✨

DNI; if you use she/her pronouns.

A/n- I'm such a slut for this man smh

___________

I couldn't help but smile brightly when I saw Tomioka a little ways away from me, we were assigned a mission a couple of days ago to a quiet town in the east, where a demon has been taking young drunks and since I got here a day or so before him I made sure to look around and get familiar with the area. So I gently tapped my index and middle fingers together as we approached each other, seeing the slightest of smiles tug at his lips once he saw me, "[Y/n], you burned Wisteria incense?" He asked, now looking up at me with his usual stoic expression and all I could do is let out a small 'Mm-hm!' With a quick nod and a wide grin, not being able to speak much due to my damaged vocal cords. So taking a step closer I leaned down besides his ear not noticing the sudden stillness of his body as I spoke, "Should give us a bit more time to search around" My now deep and raspy voice wasn't something I had gotten used to yet, and it didn't help that I couldn't speak any louder then a whisper. However I did catch the small hitch in his breath, causing me to frown a bit as I pulled away and looked at him, his face was flushed and his lips were slightly parted, his gaze was fixated on the ground and I could finally see just how still he was standing.

It was only when I pressed the back of my hand to his forehead that he finally looked back up at me with slightly widened eyes. "You're warm, maybe you're sick?" My throat slowly started to itch again and I had to resist the urge to scratch at the scar along my throat. It was quiet concerning though, Tomioka has been getting warm like this a lot recently, I've tried to ask others about it to but they would just give me a knowing smile and tell me everything's alright, but that didn't stop me from worrying. I'm pretty sure it started around the time I was at the butterfly estate since Shinobu was helping me with my throat and damaged vocal cords. "Maybe you should sit this one out, I don't want you getting hurt" The worry in my tone was clear, but Tomioka simply took my hand in his and leaned up to place a gentle kiss on my cheek before pulling away, "I'm fine [Y/n], now let's go look around."

Stubborn bastard.

I couldn't help but sigh and follow after him, not wanting him to get lost since he's only just arrived. So while it was still light out I showed him all the important places where the demon might be hiding or might target next, taking an occasional look around at all the Wisteria incense I put out to see how much longer we had left and finally talking with some of the residence here, which luckily didn't end to badly since Tomioka had to do most of the talking. Nevertheless we eventually came up with a plan, "So we're going to tail a drunk?" I asked, looking at Tomioka with a slightly disapproving glare, not really wanting to use a towns-person as bait and I could tell that Tomioka new what I was thinking when he rested his hand on my shoulder, looking up at me with those beautiful dark blue eyes that practically own me at this point. "I won't let them get hurt, I promise" Even though he sounded confident I still held my doubts, but with a heavy sigh I traced the back my fingers along his jawline, pulling him in for a sweet but gentle kiss, "You're lucky I love you cause if it were anyone else I'd probably strangle them for even suggesting this idea."

I could practically feel the way my heart fluttered at his sudden chuckle, the sound of it so foreign since he rarely ever shows emotions, and I couldn't help but pull him back for another quick kiss, before heading off to my station, "Stay safe." It was the only thing I could hope for as I stood at the back of the bar, I was thankful that there was only one due to it being a small town but that didn't make the situation any less dangerous. The incense finally wore off as the stars danced across the midnight sky, while I sat myself down on the roof, keeping an eye out for anything suspicious or even just someone leaving and so far everything seemed alright, until a shadow flickered from the corner of my eye.

In one swift movement I drew my blade and slashed it at the demon who managed to jump out of the way just in time, now standing from my seated position I narrowed my eyes at the ugly bastard, "So you're the one that's been eating all these people?" I asked calmly, trying to raise my voice a little higher so I could be heard, and I couldn't help but raise a brow in confusion from the way she suddenly swayed, a deep blush now coating her grayish complexion. "It's a pity your a Demon slayer, with a voice like that I'd love to have you in my bed" I couldn't help but feel slightly uncomfortable about her suggestive tone and lustful gaze, but something in the back of my mind nagged at me. So trying to brush it off I rushed at her, dodging any hit she sent my way while she managed to dodge my attacks as well, "Sorry lady but I already got a lover, and I don't plan on letting you live tonight." Her smirk only seemed to grow at my words, as I closed in on her, hoping she wouldn't notice the way I was backing her into a corner, "Then they must be real slut for you hm? Wanting nothing more than to get off to deep voice of yours-"

Blood splattered onto my cheek and clothes as I cut off her head, "Demon or not, no one talks about my lover that way" I sneered slowly feeling my anger subside as I watched her burn away. Though I couldn't deny the fact that her words got me thinking, and eventually led me to connecting the dots about Tomioka's recent actions. So when the male appeared beside me with worried eyes I couldn't help but smile and nod my head before sheathing my blade, I also convinced him to stay the night with me since we've been away from one another for so long, and maybe for the fact that I wanted to figure something out.

-----

I didn't bother to dry my hair as I walked into our shared room, spotting Tomioka sitting on his futon with a book in hand, gently flipping through the pages as I made my way over to him, "[Y/n]?" Ignoring the call of my name I happily moved myself between his legs while pushing him onto his back so that I could rest my head on his abdomen. "It's been so long.. Since we've last seen each other" I mumbled softly, wrapping my arm around his waist so that I could hold him closer against me, while my other hand slipped under his robe and gently traced small circles along his skin, smiling when I heard a sigh of content slip past his lips. However I couldn't help but trail my hand up higher as I lifted myself onto my knees, looking down into Tomioka's slightly widened eyes with a small smirk tugging at my lips.

"And it's been even longer.. Since I heard those pretty moans of yours" I could feel the way his body shivered under my fingertips and it only caused my smirk to grow as I attached my lips to the base of his neck, dragging my teeth and tongue along his pale skin, not wanting to leave a single place untouched while my hands opened up his robe. Gently tracing my fingers along his toned abdomen and pushing my thumbs against his hardened nipples, as I bit into his shoulder, drinking in the way he moaned my name with a choked gasp. "[Y-Y/n].." The way my name rolled off his tongue nearly caused me to growl as I captured his lips with my own, dragging my tongue along his lower lip before I took it between my teeth, giving it a soft tug. While my hands traveled down to his pants, slowly pressing my fingers under the band as I pushed my tongue past his parted lips, slowly losing myself to the taste of him as he pressed his hips against my own.

"Now now baby, there's no need to rush" I whispered against his lips as I slipped off his pants, noticing the fact he wasn't wearing any undergarments and the way his cock slowly started to leak pre-cum. "Already? I barley even touched you" The teasing tone of my voice forced a whimper past his throat as I wrapped my fingers around his cock, pressing my thumb against the slit and smearing his pre-cum around it before licking it off my fingers. "[Y-Y/n] please" I couldn't help but drag my tongue along my upper lip before leaning down to kiss along his jawline, threading my fingers through his soft black hair. Tightening my grip I yanked his head back, "Ah-!" His sudden moan caused my heart to thump and my core to tighten, reminding me of the uncomfortable erection in my pants while starring into those beautiful dark blue eyes of his.

"Now be a good boy and suck" I growled, pressing my fingers to his slightly parted lips as he wrapped his hands around my wrist and wrapped his tongue around my middle finger, skillfully coating my fingers in his saliva and I couldn't help but press the pad of my finger against the back of his tongue, hearing him gag a bit as he stuck out his tongue and looked up at me with a hazy gaze. "Absolutely stunning" I breathed out, instantly moving my hand so I could capture his lips with my own, feeling our noses slightly bump against each others as I took his lower lip between my teeth and trailed my hand down to his entrance, carefully circling my finger around the rim. "Are you ready?" I asked, looking into his eyes for a brief moment, waiting for his consent, "Yes- Please hurry.." He whimpered out as I nodded, slowly pushing my finger in so I wouldn't hurt him.

His soft moans and gasps caused a slow heat to rise to my face as I pushed in another finger, moving them in a scissoring motion to make sure he's stretched out enough to ensure I wouldn't hurt him, "Hah! F-Fuck, [Y/n] pl-please just fuck me!" I couldn't deny his pleading tone and immediately went to pull off my clothes, throwing them off into some other part of the room as Tomioka wrapped his legs around my hips, causing my cock to rub against his entrance. A low whimper slipped past his lips while I hooked one hand behind his knee, pushing his leg towards his chest as I positioned myself at his entrance, looking into his eyes for a brief moment before slowly pushing it. "Ngh- Hah!" The sound of his moans and the way his walls quickly tightened around me caused a low gutteral goan to rip past my throat, and I couldn't help but bring my hand up to wrap around his throat, as I've done many times before, watching as his pale skin turned a deeper shade of red as he wrapped his hands around my wrist.

"Damn, such a slut for me aren't you?" I smirked, fully pushing myself into him as I dug my fingers into the sides of his neck, making sure not to press against his throat as I began to rock my hips, searching for that one spot that always had him trembling beneath me, "Hah- Ah, [Y/n]!" Ah, there it is. Loosening my grip on his neck I pounded into him, aiming for his prostate as his moans and whimpers echoed throughout the room, my name rolling off his tongue like a prayer, causing my core tighten from the sound and the addicting way his walls tightened around me with each thrust. "Fuck.. You feel so good baby" I practically growled out the words through panted breaths, leaning down to press sloppy open mouth kisses along his shoulder as he desperately tightened his grip on my hips, "I'm, I'm going to-" His body began to tremble under me as he looked up at me with hazy eyes and a silent plead. "Go ahead baby, cum for me" Digging his nails into my wrist he came on his lower stomach as I quickly came after him, heavy pants slipping past both our parted lips as I pressed a gentle kiss against the newly formed bruise on his neck before reaching for the towel I was supposed to use to dry my hair an hour ago.

"Giyuu, are you okay?" I asked while cleaning us both off, noticing the way he was practically half-asleep already. "Yeah, just a bit sore.. But it was worth it" Not wanting to embarrass him I merely nodded my head, pretending I didn't hear that last bit as I laid down beside him, pulling the cover over our bare bodies. However I couldn't help but smile as he snuggled against my chest while I gently traced small circles on his hip.

"I love you.."

"I love you too Giyuu."

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 290: It’s Touya Time

Previously on BnHA: Iida and Hadou showed up like a couple of Pennsylvanias and Georgias to bail Shouto out at the last minute. Ochako and Toga had an exceptionally strange fight which consisted of Toga being all “guess what Ochako, I used your quirk to murder someone, how do you feel about that”, and Ochako being all “I do not like that”, to which Toga was all “:(”. There was some doll-stealing and some bookcase-yeeting, and then Toga left in tears because Ochako was all adamant that murder has consequences. Anyway so I have absolutely no idea what Toga is thinking now, but I guess we’ll have some time to stew on it, because we ended the chapter by cutting back to the Iida+Hadou+Shouto VS Afomura battle, which was interrupted by Gigantomachia and the LoV showing up like a bunch of Floridas to ruin everyone’s nice day.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi hands the mic over to Dabi and is all “take it away, kid.” Over in Room 315 of Musutafu General, Rei is all “may I please watch some TV” and the hospital staff is all “sure”, and so she tunes in just in time to catch Todoroki Touya’s Peabody Award-winning documentary “Number One Hero, Number One Fraud: The Todoroki Enji Story”, which is being broadcast nationwide courtesy of Skeptic and his magic laptop. Meanwhile in Jakku, Dabi is all “I’M TOUYA, BITCHES”, and Shouto and Enji are all, “(゜◇゜ )”, and Dabi is all, “anyway so just to sum it all up, because of how much of a jerk Endeavor was, I am now Evil.” Everyone continues to be all “(ﾟoﾟ)” except for Dabi, who is all “└(˘▾˘┌ )≡ ( ┐˘▾˘)┘≡┗( ˘▾˘)┛≡┏( ˘▾˘)┓≡┗( ˘▾˘)┛” for pretty much the rest of the chapter. Idk. Just let the man have his fun, guys. He’s waited a long time for this.

y’all I have a confession to make. I am technically not spoiled for this chapter thanks to my robustly paranoid system of spoiler-tag-filtering, which is extensive enough that it pretty much will catch whenever someone so much as breathes something even remotely new-chapter-related. that being said, I like to think that I am capable of making basic logical inferences! and so the fact that for the past 36 hours, my dashboard has pretty much nonstop consisted almost entirely of this...

...has led me to conclude that MAYBE, POSSIBLY, PROBABLY, BUT ALSO DEFINITELY, a certain someone is finally going to reveal his ~secret identity~ woop woop. lmao

anyway so everyone, please remember to act surprised though, as we would not want Dabi’s feelings to be hurt at all. he has been planning this moment for the last decade or so and I wouldn’t want him to feel like all of that effort was for naught. so just play along, okay. OH MY, IF IT ISN’T THE LEAGUE OF VILLAINS’ MYSTERIOUS DABI. WHATEVER COULD HIS ARRIVAL POSSIBLY BE HERALDING, I JUST DON’T KNOW

“Dabi’s Dance” lmao. I’m sticking with Touya Time myself. ngl I had this recap title planned out for at least the past year or so. just waiting for that day to finally come

anyway so some people in some building somewhere are all “TURN OFF THE TV IN ROOM 315” and idk. I’m guessing the LoV is hacking the airwaves to livestream the reveal, as predicted

-- oh shit. UHHHHHHHH

did she always have this TV or did she get it just recently?? jfc of all the times for the hospital staff to finally loosen up

um... so that’s... (・＿・；)

well but I mean, she was gonna find out one way or the other at some point though. like you can’t really just keep her locked up and isolated from all news of the outside world forever and ever and ever. granted, this isn’t exactly the ideal way for her to learn this particular bit of information, but it’s not really ideal for anybody else either! EXCEPT DABI, THAT IS. have yourself a day you funky little terrorist

oh shit what is this?? it’s not live???

over in Jakku, a red-faced, sputtering Dabi makes a frantic grab for Skeptic’s laptop. “WAIT, NO, JESUS, NOT THAT TAPE!”

lol. but seriously Dabi are you even wearing a shirt. like I’m not one to slutshame anyone bro, but it’s just, exactly what type of mood were you looking to set here??

anyway so we really are cutting back to Jakku now, and Gigantomachia is all, “MASTERS”! which, I wonder if he really did use the plural? that’s right Machia, both of them in one place now! that sure is convenient for you huh

lol what is this with all this AFO monologuing. you’re really gonna make me read through this when I’m sitting here all sleep-deprived from election week. JUST GET TO THE TOUYAS. WE WERE PROMISED TOUYAS!!

sigh

“tee hee it’s fucking hilarious how goddamn powerful I am now lol”

alas, in spite of myself I do have two serious takeaways from this. one is that AFO is still controlling most of Tomura’s body behind the scenes, which both does and doesn’t bode well for Tomura (like, at least he’s not dying, but the long-term implications of this for his free will and such certainly are not Good). and two is that this confirms that Ujiko did give Tomura at least one powerful mutant quirk, which explains why he was still so deadly and indestructible even when Aizawa was using Erasure on him (since Erasure doesn’t work on mutant quirks, just emitter and transformation ones)

MEANWHILE ON TODAY’S EPISODE OF “TODOROKI SHOUTO’S TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE, NO GOOD, VERY BAD LIFE”

I like how he doesn’t actually say that he can’t take on Gigantomachia. just that he can’t take on him and Afomura at the same time. that’s confidence, baby. that right there is why you always draft Todoroki Shouto in the first round for your fantasy team

HADOU!!!!

OOOH, TOMURA’S ALL “MAN, THIS GIRL’S WAVE POWERS AND THIS KID’S ICE POWERS ARE A SUPER-STRONG COMBO DAGNABBIT.” YESSS I LIKE THAT, TELL ME MORE ABOUT HOW COOL AND POWERFUL THEY ARE

HOT DAMN LOOK AT THAT

um but not to take away from this exceptionally cool moment or anything, but why is Endeavor dying and shouting “RUN” down there in the corner um

oh

excuse me. not to take away from How Bad This All Is, but!!

just a little, smol, IidaBaku for everyone. Iida, who apparently doesn’t know a damn thing about first aid and is all, “hmm that’s a pretty bad-looking puncture wound he has in his left shoulder there, I think I’ll just let his arm dangle freely like that and I won’t bother taking off his heavy gauntlets either. I mean. he’ll be fine, probably.” smh. at least Shouto probably cauterized the wounds

EXCUSE ME WHAT

TIME FOR MORE OF THAT GOOD OLD FASHIONED SHOUNEN RIDICULOUSNESS I GUESS LMAO. KACCHAN YOU HAVE A HOLE IN YOUR TORSO. THERE IS A HOLE IN YOUR TORSO, AND YOU LOST LIKE FOUR GALLONS OF BLOOD, BUT SURE. “PUT ME DOWN” HE SAYS. FIRST OF ALL, PUTTING ASIDE THE FACT THAT YOU ABSOLUTELY SHOULD NOT BE CONSCIOUS, THE FUCK ARE YOU EVEN GOING TO DO, LIE DOWN AT THEM?? LISTEN, YOU SWEET IDIOT. TAKE HEED, BELOVED DUMBASS!!

ah well. I guess he gets to watch the Touya Show now too then lol

LMAOOOO now Machia’s lifting Tomura carefully in his palm like a broken action figure and Spinner is all “THE FUCK, YOU LOOK LIKE DEATH WARMED OVER”

“oh hey there Spinner. well let’s see, I woke up from my three-month coma and destroyed a city, had my body incinerated, and am currently being possessed by a diabolically evil potato. but please, tell me more about everything you've been through”

AW YISS AND THE FOCUS NOW SHIFTS TO THE TODOROKIS. EVERYTHING IS PROCEEDING EXACTLY AS WE HAVE FORESEEN

Endeavor my dude. it’s as if you want to die here. also holy shit, that bit about his lungs definitely does not bode well for him either

MOTHERFUCKER

GO AHEAD AND SIGN YOUR OWN DEATH CERTIFICATE, WHY DON’T YOU!! FLAGS UPON FLAGS. JESUS CHRIST

meanwhile Dabi’s just waving at ‘em

lmaoooo please oh please Caleb please keep this ‘EYYYYYYY’, it’s fucking perfect kdlshk;hg

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

(ETA: so as you will see very shortly, I completely missed this detail in my first read-through because I was so anxious to get to the reveal page, but THIS MOTHERFUCKER LITERALLY DOUSED HIMSELF WITH INSTANT HAIR DYE REMOVER THAT HE’S JUST BEEN CARRYING AROUND IN A LITTLE HIP POUCH APPRENTLY SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIME. MOTHERFUCKER. I HAVE NO WORDS.)

IS THIS THE TIME. IS THIS THE MOMENT?! HERE IT COMES SLKFHS BRACE YERSELVES LADS

EYYYYYYYYYYYY

OKAY EVERYONE JUST LIKE WE PRACTICED!! SURPRISED FACES ON THREE! ONE... TWO... (•̪ o •̪) !! okay how was that

LMAO ENDEAVOR

at least Shouto looks properly stunned. Enji just looks like endeavor.exe just straight up stopped working

meanwhile Deku’s out here trying to do the math on this latest surprise family reveal! first Tomura is related to Nana, and now this. what’s next. who are you related to, Spinner. he rips off his boots to reveal engine legs and declares himself Iida’s long-lost uncle

oh shit Touya

it’s as if a million fanworks suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly jossed. who knew that all this time he was secretly sporting a crop top scar

also, THIRTY?! holy shit son you been busy

la la la two-page spread of Touya casually driving the dagger into Endeavor’s hero career and rocking the foundations of hero society as we know it la la la

la la la!!!

OH IS THAT THE END OF THE STORY THEN

almost got confused for a sec. there’s two monologues happening at once here. Endeavor doesn’t even know that his dirty laundry is being aired out nation-wide as we speak ffffff

btw while I appreciate the close-ups of Enji and Shouto here for sure, ngl I would also really love to see everyone else’s reactions right now. SHOW ME BAKUGOU AND THE LOV YOU COWARDS

is his hair actually turning white all of a sudden?? your hair dye just reacts on command??

(ETA: in all seriousness though, the hell kind of hair dye was he using? all he has to do is pour a bottle of that stuff and not even lather it in and it’s just gone just like that?? what the fuck would have have done if it ever rained lmao.

and this motherfucker just goes and leaves the dye remover in afterwards, too. I have never dyed my hair in my life and even I can tell you that’s probably not a good idea, Dabi.)

is this it. is this the legendary Dabi Dance in action. lmfao

oh hey what the fuck

so you figured you’d just murder your innocent younger brother to get revenge on dad, huh. well that’s nice

is that really all there is to the origin story though?? feels like we’re still missing a huge chunk of it. what was it that finally sent him over the edge? or was the trauma of being created as Endeavor’s perfect little hero tool and then being subsequently rejected by him enough on its own? because I’m still kind of confused on the part where he goes from “abused and discarded by his father” to “killed thirty people and was plotting the murder of his own brother” to tell you the truth

(ETA: lmao the initial fandom reaction to this did not disappoint. listen guys. people can be traumatized and shaped by awful circumstances that are completely out of their control, and grow up to be people they wouldn’t have grown up to be if things had been better, and all of that absolutely sucks, but. it doesn’t mean they get a get-out-of-jail-free card for all of their future actions, either! the tragedy of this situation is that terrible things happened to Touya, and he then went on to do terrible things himself. the tragedy of it is that this is exactly how the cycle of abuse keeps repeating itself on and on and on. maybe one of the people Dabi killed had a child who will now grow up traumatized themselves, and potentially go on to pay it forward themselves when they grow up. the tragedy is that the eye-for-an-eye justice that Touya is seeking out won’t actually make anything better in the end. the tragedy is that we understand why Touya is so angry, but that anger has basically warped him into the gleefully sadistic dancing figure we see in this chapter who has stopped caring about anyone else’s pain or suffering and just wants his own revenge.

anyway. basically what I’m trying to say is that it’s possible for the concepts of “Todoroki Touya was an innocent child and a victim of abuse” and “Dabi is a grown-ass motherfucking adult who killed thirty people and PROBABLY NEEDS TO BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR THAT” to coexist lol. like, y’all wanted your moral grey, well HERE YOU GO lmao, eat up.)

lol but LOOK AT THAT BOY DANCE HIS LITTLE HEART OUT though

Todoroki Touya confirmed not a fan of the Endeavor redemption arc huh. well we all saw this coming lols

anyways here’s a sexy Touya for y’all

you really are the most theatrical bitch I s2g lmao

also for real though, what is happening with his hair? anime team in shambles here. they’re probably just gonna double down and keep it red. too bad though cuz this is a surprisingly good look on him

SO MANY CLOSE-UPS OF THE TODOROKI FACES

friendly reminder that Dabi without a doubt REHEARSED this speech like a thousand fucking times. LET US FALL TOGETHER!! COME DANCE WITH YOUR SON IN HELL. apparently if you fake your own death in middle school you will never mentally age past that point and will remain a permanent chuuni

OH LMAO THAT’S THE END

we really just gonna end on “DANCE WITH YOUR SON IN HELL”, huh. very well then. you know what song to play, Horikoshi. one, two... YOU ARE MY DAD. YOU’RE MY DAD!! BOOGIE WOOGIE WOOGIE

[idv-murder-mystery-utopia]

😊 meeting for the first time--- oWo &&. My finger slipped btw- (@idv-the-gamer)

👀 Oh hello there EGGUHUREUI-

I didn’t expect you to send an ask (especially when I am about to send you one myself!) but drabble of these two meeting? Its gonna happen and you can’t stop me- //slap

I’m sorry if I answered your ask too late?? Queueing them up + rank schedule on both servers are keeping me busy tonight boys,,,

Anyways enough rambling from me its time for me to do the drabble smh

Miss Nightingale told everyone that a new survivor is coming to the manor. Its been a surprise to hear, especially since there were a few that just came days ago. Then again, what even is a surprise in this ever-growing manor?

Certainly not for the veterans. And the owner themselves.

It was dead in the night, and Adalyn was merely up drinking her coffee while preparing her spare books to work on. She was always so busy, so having to spare some time for the others is a bit rare to see. Although, she did have her fun with the others (and had a good break, so to speak), the novelist still had her job to do to… Well, “satisfy” her readers for all the suspense and cliffhangers she left for them to suffer in.

From book to book did they cried out for answers, but she made no move to give it to them.

It was rather silent as she wrote on her papers when she heard voices. One of them was Emily’s (she hung around with the doctor the most, seeing as she is a rescuer and is always the one who got hurt the most despite utilizing her portals via her pages. Especially to Mary), but the other was unfamiliar.

A new survivor? Interesting, Adalyn paused on her brainstorming, only staying silent to hear their conversation. They’re near to the door, so I might as well listen in…

“So, you must be… Shafin, right?”

“Damn right! Nice to meet ya, ma’am!

… Is she acting like she lived from the west coast?

Color the novelist surprised, since she half expected for the new person to be so formal. Or normal. However, does she shun this sort of change?

No.

She doesn’t.

She only listened to the conversation, but decided to get up and go out of the door when she heard how Emily was dealing with the new survivor.

Opening the door, she gave the two a look of confusion but soon smiled at the new survivor. Well, she looks… Intriguing. She won’t complain much on her attitude – after all, new faces are something you don’t get to see or meet every day. And her personality is quite a surprise for her.

“Excuse me, miss Emily- is she the new survivor we were waiting for?”

The two turned their heads to her, as she left her room and gave the unfamiliar person a nod. She didn’t mean any harm for the other, unless she’s a hunter…

Shafin can only offer a grin to the other, and extended her hand to her as a form of a hand shake. Emily was sweating nervously – she certainly didn’t knew what to do, but can only leave the matters to Adalyn. Goodness, she’s a veteran, too…

“Are you a new surv? That’s awesome! The names Shafin – nice to meet ya!”

Adalyn was surprised, but soon nodded and shook her hand with a smile.  Her speech was not something that bothered her, instead she took the offer and shook Shafin’s hand with a smile.

“Of course. I would ask the same, but I’m sure you’re the new survivor Miss Nightingale told us about. My name is Adalyn – Adalyn Adlere. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Emily seemed to have noticed that Adalyn is handling the situation well, and sighed softly in relief. She nodded at the two of them, before facing the novelist with a nervous smile on her face.

Does she have a favor to ask? Maybe.

“Adalyn, can you lead Shafin to her room? I don’t want her getting lost in this hour.” The doctor said with a pleading look in her face, which was mixed with how exhausted she looked. God, she should rest…

“I will, miss Dyer. Get some rest.” The bluenette replied, before facing Shafin (who seemed to be more or so prepared to bombard the two with questions). With a smile, the girl spoke,

“Follow me, then.”

As Emily left to sleep for the night, Adalyn led the other to the room she was assigned in. Thank goodness did she remember where it’s located in – even without her scriptbook (which had the exact location of every room in the manor – she did explore the whole building by herself, alongside the maps. Don’t ask her how – it’s a long story), she had a good memory on where Shafin’s room is at.

“I haven’t seen ya around these parts – or ever, for that matter! Are you new here?” Shafin asked with great interest, only gazing towards the girl who was leading her to where her room is.

“New? I guess you can say that. I just came here recently, so you can say I’m still somewhat new in the manor and how it works.” Adalyn responded, whilst making sure to take the right turns as they went to the room.

“Really? Now that’s a surprise! Actually, would ya believe me if I said I’ve seen most of the people here before I came to the manor?”

She stopped.

“… Pardon?”

Shafin blinked, and soon she can see her head turn with a look of shock.

“Say that again, miss Shafin?”

“You mean about me seeing everyone here before I–“

Now Adalyn approached Shafin, and her eyes narrowed with suspicion.

“… How do you know everyone here? How?”

She looked rather suspicious, but most of it was in disbelief. There was no way in God’s name can one know who they all are. Especially for the new survivors and hunters… That isn’t possible!

The gamer can only stay silent, sweating bullets when she saw how Adalyn reacted. Christ, man – do they know that they’re in a video game or something!?

By the looks of things, one can assume that she won’t believe that sort of reason. Especially now.

“Answer my question.”

There was silence,

“...”

“…”

Adalyn lowered her head, sighing. There is no use prying someone who’s stubborn and refuses to answer her question… What was she thinking anywa–

“For a novelist, you sure act like a detective- are you like Kyoko or something?”

“Kyoko?”

The woman turned to her, and she saw Shafin’s eyes gleam when she said her name.

“You don’t know? Kyoko Kirigiri from Dangaronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc! You two act so similar! Though you’re more forward, but still – are ya sure you’re not a detective or something?”

The novelist blinked, but she chuckled nervously and shook her head.

“I don’t know who that is, actually… Mind explaining it?”

“Wait, what?! Well, she’s…”

Alas, this may as well bloom a strange but meaningful friendship between the two. A gamer and a novelist… An odd pairing that would never fade in time.

---

@idv-the-gamer

[ts-akhmim]

Rites of Passage

TJ: Bodhi – I don’t know that much about you, but I’ve heard you are a crackhead, so I guess I’m ok having saved the experience of playing TS with you for a different time. It would have made the original tribes a lot more interesting to say the least, lol.

AMIR: I am so angerry we didn’t get to play together!!! I wanted to work with you back in Survivor Cutthroat and when I saw you were cast on this season i was excited to play with u again and was robbed of the opportunity AGAIN!  u were also the only person on this cast that i have played with previously so the familiarity was lovely, so anyways u were robbed even tho you got like a 35 in the first challenge luv u always

AUTUMN: I wish we had gotten to play together longer! I’m glad we’re in another game together because I think you’re a cool guy and I appreciate your humor, honesty, and just candor about everything. I know in the moment the vote felt very hurtful but it was purely about the challenge and wanting Thoth to be as strong as possible moving forward (little did we know what was coming lmaaaaoo)

TJ: Trace – Another person I never got to meet in this game, but everything I heard from the Brains that I did get to talk to was that you were a super nice guy and really respectable. Sorry this season didn’t work out for you; I think we all know we can just blame Thoth for being a cursed tribe!

AMIR: We never got to meet :(  may b in the afterlife

AUTUMN: I hope you’re well! Honestly your death felt like true Survivor because the target was someone else but once Devon and I found out that you had made an alliance with everyone except us, I flipped it and said you had to be the one to go. I think the game would’ve been completely different had you stayed because there’s no way you would’ve let me get this far and once I realized you wanted me on the bottom, I was like ok Trace is the real deal he knows I’m trouble hahaha. You’re a great guy though and I hope you understand it was just game

TJ: Isaac – The third person I have never met in this game (I feel bad, Autumn is going to be the only one of us three who can actually say anything about these first three). I know you brought an interesting dynamic to the tribe based on the tribals I had watched, so kudos to you for being able to make an impact on the tribe. Another person I think we can just blame Thoth and not really blame anything gameplay wise, lol.

AMIR: Bane of my existence but also taken way too soon from us smh, you didn't deserve to be on cursed ass thoth, rip in peace’s sweet bottom

AUTUMN: You’re so sweet and wholesome and I really miss our conversations. I was being dumb and naive when you told me Scott and Duncan were a duo because I was an alliance with them and Devon. So I very much wanted to believe we were rock solid but YOU KNEW!! You called it before anyone else and for that, I stan. That alliance is literally the reason you want home and I just didn’t want to turn on them at the time. But in hindsight you were right about a lot of things and I appreciate your kindness and maturity about it all even though you were lowkey robbed

TJ: Austin – I never thought that we would reconnect after a few years away from being on the same site, so it was a great surprise to realize that you and I had actually played a couple games together in the past. I wish we had more than 24 hours together to maybe see what a future in this game could have been like. You are just as genuine of a guy as I remember you being, so that was really nice for me to see.

AMIR: Hello king of dairy queen, we honestly never talked too too much but you always were really nice to me and everyone else on hathor, and even after you were voted out, you were kind and left so gracefully

AUTUMN: You were so fun to talk to and if it weren’t for Devon’s mist I would’ve saved you lmao. I almost wish that twist hadn’t happened because had we met at a normal swap, I think our good vibes could’ve turned into a great alliance and we got along super well. It was nice getting to know you in the time we had though and I hope we get a chance to really play together one day

TJ: Lovelis – I can’t apologize enough for having to vote you off both as early as I did and how I did so. I’ve played now two seasons of the Challenge with you, but I found that I built a better bond with you this season than those two seasons combined, and then it just snowballed into this giant series of unfortunate events the tribal we had to go to and there was nothing that I could do. I’m genuinely so sorry for not being able to tell you what was going on and hope there’s a small chance you may understand sometime down the line.

AMIR: I never got to meet you unfortunately but I always thought your name was pronounced Love-El-Leez and then someone said “Loveless” and i was shookums

AUTUMN: SIR WHERE DID YOU GO??? I love that you don’t give a single fuck though haha because mood and I love dramatic exits- do you boo

TJ: AJ – Other than a brief convo during the Osiris vote, you and I never really got to meet. From what I did see, you seem like a really nice person and one that I think got voted out way too early. Hopefully I can verify that myself in another game if there is one in our future, but I wish we had been able to meet and see what could have been!

AMIR: You are so funny and and one of my fav people from Hathor 1.0 when it was such a simple time, also your winter bells score was inhumane and you had a great presence to be around, i just had a hard time ever trusting u and ya hehe

AUTUMN: ROBBED KING!! We didn’t really get to meet but thank you for sticking up for Adam on Hathor and for being honest with him. Although it led to a crazy divide amongst the beauties that lasted the whole game lmao (cmon impact!), I think that takes character to step out on a limb for someone especially when it risks your game. Merge would’ve been so much more iconic with you since I’m rooting for everyone brown haha. I hope we get to talk more after the game!

TJ: Connor – You seem like such a great guy and I wish I had spent more time trying to know you on Hathor. One of the things that always scares me in these games is when I can’t get a read on someone. I never was able to get a solid read on who you were and what you were capable of, and for that, that made you the person I was most threatened by in that circumstance. 

AMIR: 

AUTUMN: SIS I MISS YOU!! That tribe was BLAND after you left lmaaaoo I couldn’t wait for merge. Even though we didn’t talk a ton, I feel like we really vibed towards the end and just talking about Survivor seasons all evening. I screenshot your rankings and I reference them all the time/ they’ve been a fun conversation starter at merge. But anyway you’re hilarious and messy and iconic and I’m glad we got to meet. Also, you’ll be glad to know I finished Cagayan, I am neither Tony trash nor a Spencer fan, and I’m watching Pearl Islands now

TJ: Dan – Seeing you on the cast and on my starting tribe was almost like a little sigh of relief. Knowing someone and trusting that they aren’t going to just randomly screw you over is the greatest feeling in that initial stage of this game, and it sucks that it wasn’t able to go too much further than that since we got through an easy tribal at Brawn and then we got swapped onto opposite tribes. You and Drew brought me into this crazy world that is TS, and I hope I can complete that initial season now with a win here.

AMIR: Oh my gosh has it been a long time, I really haven’t seen you around or spoken to you in about 3 years, so seeing you in this game brought back a lot of nostalgia and memories from being in this community during like 2016 looooool, but it honestly was really nice to reconnect with you and see where we’ve gone in life since leaving here, wishing you the best (‘:

AUTUMN: Girl what happened??? I mean ok yes a part of me was relieved that you wouldn’t be able to kill me haha but you were robbed and we really could’ve fucked shit up. Had a different Apis member been over then instead of you, whew we would’ve done damage together on Hathor. It’s all good though- I hope everything is well with you and that you’re taking that well deserved break. All these back to back orgs we’ve been doing is getting OLD haha

TJ:  Scott – When I saw the cast reveal, I was so excited to meet you. I really thought I would be a Brain and that we would be on the same tribe. We would have worked so well together, and I hope in some alternate universe you come back to ORGs and we find each other in another game to play. 

AMIR: Scott !! Oh wow I have thots when it comes to your vote out, I did know u were getting voted out and I’m sorry, but honestly, you were just too good!! Our whole tribe was loyal to you dead ass, and I felt like if you got to merge, you would run the game using the brains and the beauties. U were just too damn likable during the game and I hope U understand why I did it

AUTUMN: Wheeeww Scott. I’m still gagged by that tribal that was something else. It was hard to see you go out like that because you truly deserve the best and have such a kind, amazing spirit. To the point where I would’ve had a hard time ever voting you or even getting anyone else to do the same so. Yes you were robbed but please don’t internalize it cause you were playing an amazing game (even had the boys confronting me about all the tea you shared haha/ gave me some messes to clean up) so please please please play again because you will WIN

TJ:  Liam – Of all the names I wrote down this season, yours was by far the hardest. Emotionally, I had really grown close to you and I felt awful for the situation you were in. Everything I told you that whole round and before that was 100% genuine. I just wanted to see the fight you had that first Brawn vote when I wanted to save you over Lovelis. You are one of the kindest dudes I’ve ever met in these games, and I have so much respect for you, your priorities, and how you carry yourself.

AMIR:  We never really got to talk much at all, but the few times we have talked you were always very sweet, I hope you are doing well. Autumn: Ok I do actually love you I swear haha. You’re a very sweet, compassionate guy and I could tell you were going through a lot which I 1000% get. But once merge hit, I knew shit would hit the fan really quickly so I basically got everyone to target you because most people didn’t know you too well and all the other Apis boys went with it because they were terrified of being the sacrificial brawn (since 5 of y’all made merge). I hope things are going better for you and I hope not having to worry about this wild ass game helped in some way. You thought you and I were tired back at pre-merge- girrrrrlll that was nothing hahaha

TJ: Jordan – If you told me Day 1 that you would be the person I would strategize the most with and become the closest ally too, I would have laughed in your face! I thought there was no freaking way that our personalities would click. And then I got to know you, we bonded over Survivor, and then a genuine friendship formed in this game. We made a F2 pact during the swapped Hathor tribe and I would have stuck to that to the end of this game. You are a great player and fun influence for these games, and I hope I made you proud throughout this merge.

AMIR: Oooof! Okay we did not leave on the best terms, you, similarly to dan, bring me a lot of nostalgia and you remind me of what it was like being in this community years ago. I never really got a chance to meet you in a personal way and get to know you at all until this game and I loved that we were able to reflect on the past and look back together, but unfortunately, by the time we did finally get on the same page, it was a little to late for me strategically. We got to connect over c*rcle and going to Ryerson and you’re honestly a real cool guy. I’m sorry for doing you dirty and I was happy to hear that you felt better the day after everything happened. I still stand by my decision and do not want to come across as a suck up, because I felt like you were after me prior to that point, and while I did feel a person connection after one call, my head still said that betraying all my allies for your plan was not smart for me. I truly do wish u the best and really hope u give me a chance outside the game, because that call we had did truly matter to me i swear I’m not evil looool Autumn: There’s so much I could say here but I’m gonna go about it like this: hi, I’m Autumn Hill and everything I do in Survivor is purely based on of strategy. I’ve always wanted to play with you just because of all the things I’ve heard about you but I knew we were too cracked to ever really work together. So I said yes to that alliance to appease Duncan and to keep an eye on you/ figure out how to take you out from the inside. There’s been a running joke all game that I just woke up and decided to kill you lmao and I swear that isn’t true. Yes I had been taking notes on you the whole game but no I was not waiting to specifically kill you at Final 11. I literally just wanted you and/or TJ to be captain because neither of y’all had done shit the whole game and it was already Final 11. Did I KNOW y’all would wile out and you would dig your own grave? No but I was really hoping you would hahaha. So you openly targeting me made it easy for me and then you snapping on everyone before tribal sealed it. I hope you don’t still hate me but I wouldn’t be surprised if you do even though I don’t think it’s justified because it’s literally just game and you had no intention of going to the end with me anyway. And I’m sure you’ve been praying I walk into jury but that has given me so much motivation to do the opposite you have no idea

TJ:  Duncan – Regardless of how our relationship in the game ended up, you are still someone that I enjoyed getting to know and genuinely connected with you during the Hathor swap. You are such a smart and genuine soul, and that’s not something that’s always easy to find in these ORGs. If I screwed something up between us, I’m genuinely sorry about that and would love to talk it out afterwards.

AMIR: *wendy_williams_with_the_hat_over_her_head_gif*  you did not deserve what happened to you in this game, i hope you believe me when i say I was super super happy to see that you’ve been cast in this game, and assumed from the moment of cast reveal that we would be working closely together. We connect well, we had a lot of important conversations and both being gay poc and our experiences and I always felt that we would be great allies. Unfortunately in the game, the round where you were getting voted out, I actually wanted you to stay but all my closest allies did not and I felt like being a leader in that round was not what's best for my game. I was upset to lose you way earlier than I wanted to and I hope you know me not warning was never personal, and i really hope you’ll want to be friends afterwards b/c I definitely do Autumn: My bb :( I STILL LOVE YOU BUT YOU KNOW HOW I AM!!! I can’t be tamed lmao and I just felt really suffocated by our alliance and paranoid about us having been together the whole game. Devon lowkey came between us on Thoth and I felt like you were jealous that I was close to someone else so when you got Devon to vote me back on Thoth I was really shook. Idk it felt like a warning shot, that you and Scott would basically dangle me off a cliff for no reason so I knew what had to happen. Then the alliance with Jordan and TJ happened and you didn’t fuck with Ali and Adam and I was like oooop I need to cook something up. Then I really started aligning with other people at merge (Jakey, Amir, Augusto, etc.) and I was like ok I need to cover my tracks. And Idk there were just a lot of weird moments where you voted TJ captain first but wanted me to convince everyone else to do Adam, you protecting Jordan during the immunity challenge and cutting Augusto’s rope only for you to force Devon to cut Jordan’s rope, lying to Adam about targeting him- so I just couldn’t do it anymore. I knew I was trying to go deep in this game and I felt like we couldn’t go any further together so I put the vote on you and it became unanimous since a lot of people were hurt by all the lies you told. So whew that’s the tea but you always said if I ever killed you, I better win and here we are lol and I hope I continue to make you proud

TJ: Devon – Ah, Slithers! I was so excited to reconnect with you because there was so much unfinished business between us after Guyana. There was so much we could have done that game, and I was glad to at least get a small taste of that in this game. I wish we had met before merge so that we didn’t have to throw something together right at merge. Your elimination was a blessing in disguise for me, because it was that round or the round before that I started becoming weary of the fact you were telling things to others you said you had only told me, so maybe it was good? You’re a strategic genius and I truly think you’d win if you came back one more time.

AMIR: Oh my god Devon you were always a confusing one for me, I felt quite close to you for a lot of this entire game and for a good portion of it, I actually felt quite loyal to you. When I met you at one world, we instantly clicked as people and I was excited for you to get back into the game and we were tight from that point on. At merge, things started getting complicated and at some point, I truly did start to get intimidated by your social game and how calculated you were about every single decision. I definitely was not the driving force behind your vote off but I also did not do much to try and stop it, overall tho, you protected me a bunch of times in this game over and over and I’m not ignorant to that and I’m thankful for that time we had as allies and friends mr 95% top Autumn: Girl what the fuck hahaha. I have half the nerve to leave the message with that but you’re lucky I still love you. To this day I have no clue why you turned on me and I was always loyal to you. So many people talked shit about you but I continued to give you the benefit of the doubt and forgive you. And I genuinely wanted to go to the end with you, Amir, and Augusto (or you, me and Ali) and had you actually believed me, you would be sitting here instead of me. But then you tried it and got the whole tribe to lie to me and if that wasn’t bad enough, you were coming at me for believing you were the rat (even though you, Amir, and Augusto were intentionally covering Kendall’s tracks) and saying you had my back no matter what. So between that and realizing that you were intentionally trying to put me on the bottom of the tribe is why I put a hit on you. I was truly never coming for you until you gave me a reason. So yes I was in my bag about it then but it’s all good now and I’m now back to thinking you’re a sweet, funny guy who deserves nice things. I miss the good ole days on Thoth ugh when we just call and laugh and make fun of everyone but alas. ALSO THANK YOU FOR CUTTING THE WRONG ROPES!! It’s one of my favorite moments of the game and it makes my day every time I think about it lmao I really need all the laughs I can get these days. Unless you actually have been rooting for me this whole time and you cut your allies’ ropes intentionally??? I can’t wait to finally hear that story hahaha

TJ: Ali – I need to start by apologizing for not replying the last hour-ish before your elimination. You are such a high caliber player – potentially the highest of caliber – that I didn’t want to give you any more information to possibly spook you and change what you and Jakey had talked about. You were someone I knew from the getgo that I couldn’t let you get far, and yet you cease to amaze me in your ability to be so freaking likeable and get far in these games. I will never forget doing the name scramble with you and I truly wish every challenge could have been that.

AMIR: WHHEWW weeeee i have so much respect for you, you have no idea. Like okay I never had met you but I knew that you were a godly player due to bbpokemon, but I never judge based on placements, but playing in this game with you confirmed that. Tbh tbh we were never gonna work out as loyal allies because you scared the absolute shite out of me as a player and had a damn toybox of powers, but i am glad that this game gave me the opportunity to get to know you as a person and ive come to really really like you. You were a force in the game but also super nice and respectful to everyone the entire way through and i can only admire that, and after like literally years of just hearing about you i get why everyone loves u

Autumn: I CAN’T DO THIS. I cannot cry over you twice in this game I really cannot. I cannot articulate the guilt I felt watching you die when you didn’t have to. I go back to that moment where you gave your negator power to Adam in case you died and it crossed my mind to tell you to play the idol on yourself because I just had a weird feeling. And like- we were right we knew we wouldn’t be able to do this whole game together because Auli is too powerful. But I just thought we had more time together. You really are like a brother to me and when you died, Adam and I called and he did all the talking for a good 15 minutes because I was on the other end just crying. But! This means you’ve joined the elite cause the only other allies I’ve MOURNED are Ned and Eddie. I just love how you are literally the nicest person but constantly have everyone shaking in their boots. Like the way all these people had a hard-on trying to get you out like 3 rounds in a row is just so powerful ugh. King of living rent free in everyone’s minds! Idk it would’ve been too good to be true for us both to go to the end but you  are truly a legend and I’m grateful for literally any time I get with you and I REALLY wouldn’t be here without your idol sis so your spirit really did live on

TJ: Jakey – Day One I really thought that you and I would be at the end of this game together. And even throughout that entire merge, despite a few ups and downs we both had, I really saw us sitting here together. It sucks that we got blindsided together and I didn’t have that chance to save you, but I am so glad that we were able to connect the way we did. Our dynamic in having information from both sides of the house was perfect for both of us, even if it was your downfall. I was not kidding when I told you after Jordan left that I still had your back and that I wanted to get us to the end. 

AMIR: I am so glad I got to meet you in this game because you literally became one of my fav people ever in the span of a month, and you know I love you. You’re someone I plan on being tight with for a very long time and have come to care about you so much, and we ended up calling like every single day for hours. You not being in the game anymore always did feel weird afterwards since you were essentially my other closest ally in terms of how you knew just about everything about my game and were kind of like a sounding board for me. I didn’t fully trust you sometimes, and I often think back to a “what if” and if we both could be here rn if my ass decided to take that risk and fully commit to this alliance and 100% trust you, but when this game is over, our nightly late night calls are probably going to be the main thing I remember and I am so appreciative that I got the chance to get to know you and become as close we did ❤️

Autumn: LMAO now see when you do clownery… I have so much respect for you and you are truly brilliant but girl you do too much haha and you know I’m OLD. I can’t do the back and forth and watching someone play both sides and have this je ne sais quoi energy about fucking everyone’s games up, allies included. Fam if you had waited to kill Ali ONE MORE ROUND, this game would’ve been yours. You had Amir and TJ whipped, you would’ve had me, Adam, and Kendall powerless, and Augusto would’ve kept chilling. But no I had to avenge Ali so me and Adam got to work and came up with a bunch of lies and truths to get you out and the kids ate it UP. But anyway, you’re still my son, you will bounce back, and I’m rooting for you in everything you do.  You’re hilarious and perceptive and cracked and I told all the POC’s every round you were the only white boy I would actually vote for hahaha and I mean that

TJ: Adam – My biggest personal regret is not getting to talk to you more and at least get to know you more on a personal level. You always seemed so sweet and we talked about a decent bit, but I don’t think I ever put my best foot forward to build that connection since we were never on the same side. You are such a kind, sweet guy and I wish more guys were like you. 

AMIR: Hello hunty, I think out of everyone in this cast, you are the first person I had ever met and it goes way way way back...like 2014 back. Our relationship is this game was…. ICONIC and messy to say the least. I was always a huge fan of your blog back then, and never thought we’d both end up on the beauty tribe. I honestly saw so much potential for us being super close allies, and at some point, I considered you my closest ally during day 1-2. The issue was the creation of an alliance without you in it, and then that alliance targetting you and you getting word of it which just kinda set us on the wrong foot from the very beginning because you didn’t trust me and I was anxious about that. It was literally all just shitty circumstances because bible i literally wanted to work with you so bad. We eventually set things straight again, but due to alliance lines, previous mistrust, and the people we were both working with, we ended up being on opposite sides and never were able to work out on a strategic level despite the fact that we always meshed well on a personal level, it was unfortunate but also kind of an iconic rivalry/alliance thing that was going on

Autumn: MY BABY!!! When you died I was just numb and I miss you so much. That happening right after I finally won immunity was just cruel and my system short circuited. We had a million alliance chats and just like that the house was empty and it’s just been quiet all the rounds since. Tbh I was triggered cause I was ALONE alone in Crossroads so when you died I was just sitting at Final 5 with the idol like awww shit here we go again haha. You are one of the funniest, kindest, most loyal, and most authentic players I’ve ever met and your social game is TOP SHELF sir. Watching you lie and finesse and manipulate people round after round actually cleared my skin. In my mind, I always referred to you as the Mad Hatter because you always had tea and you always had something brewing on the stove haha. I miss our conversations so much and I really wouldn’t be here without all the trust you put in me and for being like “giiiirrrl you need to get on the blog RIGHT NOW.” You know I can make hoes mad all by myself haha but it was at its best when you were by my side

TJ: Augusto – I want to mirror what you said about me in your goodbye message. You are so pure, you are so likeable, you are such a king when it comes to the social game. I didn’t think our games would gel that much coming into this game, but once we got over the little hump that was the first couple rounds of merge, I really clicked with you and enjoyed meeting you this game. I wish we had followed the plan and you’d still be here over Amir, but ‘tis the game.

AMIR:  This is probably the hardest one to write because you have been my partner in crime and my closest ally since day 1 in this game, and I truly did want to go to the end with you and Kendall. You kept me sane for like the majority of the game and I 100% could not have made it here without you. I am not going to diminish the impact that you had on this game and how big of a factor you were in my survival. I have never lied or kissed ass when I said I believed you played one of the strongest games by far. As a person, I love you and you know I mean that and have enjoyed your friendship a lot over the past month, and really really hope we’ll be friends after this game. The game does not feel the same without u there and i miss your dumb gay memes that make me cackle, and im sorry for how things ended up, I truly felt like at that point, it was me going home or u, and i chose to pick me. I don’t want to dwell but I also don’t want to invalidate how badly I screwed you over and how you get to be mad for it. i cant wait 2 talk to u after the game  

Autumn:Lmaaaaooo listen. That whole thing was one of the most cracked things I’ve ever done in my entire org career and Iiiiii don’t wanna get into it here but I will so that miss Amir can’t take credit for it hahaha. Basically…. what had happened was… I was very much going to idol Amir out but he randomly came into my pm’s after TJ won immunity and begged that we work together and that I spare him if I had the idol even though he had just killed Adam. And it took a lot of convincing but I thought about how well positioned you were to go to the end with anyone so I said: yes Amir but I’m killing Augusto which means you’re going to tell the beauties you have the idol since everyone has to vote me. Meanwhile TJ was talking to me and being very straight up that it was between me and Amir/ it was based on who had the idol. So I threw Amir under the bus and said everyone was giving the game away to him and that TJ was no better for always talking shit but never doing anything about it. And he kept trying to corner me into saying I had the idol and that “everyone was still concerned” so I got tired of going back and forth and was just like lemme go address everyone in the tribe cause I’m not doing this all day when I know I’ll be at Final 4 no matter what. So that’s when I gave a monologue in the tribe chat about how everyone should be honest with me and that there’s no point in lying when I’m essentially a sitting duck. Then you and Kendall admitted to voting me, which allowed me to a) play the idol correctly and b) split you and Amir. Tbh I just felt like you had the best spot in the game because the whole round it like never crossed your mind that you could die and I was like oop hold my beer. Meanwhile you had talked shit about Amir’s game to me more than once so I started twisting the knife on him and when you weren’t talking to him as much, Amir really got paranoid and was like they’re gonna kill me soon I just know it I’m all in. So that’s the tea. But! You know it was strictly game because I adore you and I legit called you more than anyone in this cast haha. I just got spooked about you getting any deeper in the game. You have a great heart and I hope we can still be friends after this because you’re an amazing person and I’ll always be here for you

TJ: Kendall – You haven’t even been gone for 24 hours and I already miss your lunatic history facts! I never expected to meet someone in this game who I truly understood and care about in this game, and that’s exactly what I found starting very early in that merge with you. You are so freaking quirky, but so am I so I get it completely. I wish everyone in this game got to see how amazing you were and how you were completely robbed from being able to make the finals with me. I truly think I met a friend for years to come with you, and I’m so grateful for that. (Also ps, apparently we had a flirtmance going according to the other two… I wasn’t aware of this, lol).

AMIR: This is interesting because I kinda already messaged you yesterday right before the vote with everything I have to say, in the end, you have the right to feel how you feel and your reactions are 100% valid. I apologize for lying to you and blindsiding you, It was not an easy decision and I own it, and even writing this right now is quite difficult because I want to talk about the hilarious and amazing times we had together and make it a cute rop, but I know the wounds are still fresh and I know you said you are not happy with me rn and I would not want to act oblivious to your current emotions. Maybe if I make it to jury or FTC, you will be able to say everything you want to say to me and we can move on from there and pick up where we left off,

Autumn: Sis I don’t even know where to begin with you haha. Because we were never allies or even friends lmao but we always had mutual respect for each other the whole game and just tried to stay out of each other’s way. I do genuinely believe you get a bad wrap for no reason and people talked a lot of shit about you for no real reason. And I love that both the women in the game were despised but for different reasons haha. You were playing a good game tbh and even though I really considered sitting beside you at the end, it frustrated me that you (like Augusto) felt like you were guaranteed to be at the end and you were essentially the prettiest girl at the dance and meanwhile I had to fight for my life every single round since Final 6. So I was like ok if sis really wants to go to the end, then she’ll pull up and meet me at firemaking haha. Amir went back and forth about the whole thing and legitimately told me he was voting me earlier that day but I got in his head and I said you know damn well they will clip you at Final 3 no hesitation so unless you want this whole game to have been for nothing, you need to just send me to firemaking and if Kendall wins she wins and if I win I win. So, it was strictly strategic for me because there was no way for you, me, and Amir to all make final 3 and you and TJ were very transparent about voting me lol. But anyway! Thank you for your humor and patience and constant forgiveness throughout this game and your incredible knack for manipulating men. I salute you and I’m glad we got to meet

Amir: Tj tj tj oh wow oh wow, I literally feel like our relationship is like the disappointed dad (you) and me being the rebellious child who keeps promising to straighten myself out and then keeps up my fuckery. Anyway, it was a pleasure playing this game with you, you were kind to everyone, had a huge underdog hero arc, and you were probably the person who was onto my antics the most. Somehow after every vote, you’re like “I hate u but I get it so I still like u” and it was just a very wholesome hilarious relationship that I’ve had this whole game. You had me shaking during that final “autumn take me” riff raff and you deserve to be sitting in this spot just as much as I do

Autumn: Oh boy- not to be dramatic but killing you, my favorite adversary, wasn’t nearly as satisfying as I thought it would be. Listening to you talk last night made me realize how much heart you had put into the game and I felt really compelled to give you a chance to vouch for yourself at FTC just out of respect. But I know how allies get and I didn’t see a whole pocket of jurors voting for me over you when they had probably been rooting for you the whole game. So once my laptop died last night haha and I was sitting with my notes, it came down to a) leveling the playing field amongst the jurors, b) trying to picture what jury would really value, and c) how persuasive you are. If you could do aaaaaall that off the record to save your game, I knew you were gonna bring it at FTC. But it’s not the same without you. I have no one to tease, no one to call out, no one’s business to air, no one’s game to undermine lmao- it’s too quiet, everyone’s dead. The reason I love our relationship so much is because we think very similarly so our elaborate multi-round game of cat and mouse game gave a lot amusement and frustration but most importantly focus. We are literally the movie Catch Me If You Can and you’re were always watching me scam everyone and do the most and no one wants to listen to you so you take it upon yourself to chase me yourself round after round. And I was always watching you and egging you on and doing everything I could to throw you off my tracks haha. You’re my Tom Hanks and I’m your Leo and a lot of people made it easy on me but you never did and I have a lot of respect for that. You never miss a beat and you have fantastic instincts so after all this time, I can finally say I am a TJ fan, fedora and all

[leggigoesabroad]

skipping down sixteenth avenue

We woke up the next morning honestly fuggin AMPED because it was a full day at sea.  We had big plans to get some work done, explore the ship, day drink, revel in it all, etc.  But immediately we all felt so seasick that mid-meeting in Brooke’s room she just said “this isn’t happening. Let’s all go back to bed.” And we snorted lines of Dramamine and napped (essentially.)  We got an invitation that morning for dinner with the captain that night, which just so happened to be the ship’s formal night that we didn’t know existed.  Cue PANIC as I accused them all of trying to haze me by not telling me I needed to bring anything other than athleisure.  The nicest thing I brought with me was a floral jumpsuit so I tried my best to blend in but goddamn it these women were wearing like, sparkly evening gowns, strapless bodycon dresses, etc.   Couldn’t even go shopping anywhere since we were at sea all day.  Brooke says it was Nick’s fault, Nick and I secretly remember it was Brooke’s fault as she was the one who told us that Alaskan cruises don’t have formal nights…. Sigh. I’ve only just now started to get over it.  Combined with feeling like death all day and then having to be on good behavior for the very peculiar captain, things were dire.  The lack of formalwear also of course meant that I felt the need to get ahead of it to everyone I encountered the entire night.  “Just so you know I was told there wasn’t a formal night!!” **manic laughter drawing attention to myself** “I would never think this was appropriate for a formal night or dinner with the captain, we didn’t know! We’re here for work! It was a miscommunication!” **more manic laughter and essentially forcing people to say I look nice** “I dress way better at home, had I known I would have fit right in!! You can imagine.  I compensated by getting rip-roaring drunk and OD’ing on Dramamine which led me to a coma-like state I tried to Adderall-away the rest of the cruise.  Hate me cuz u ain’t me.  

The captain was ssssssooo strange – pleasant, but just on a different level of awareness than most normal people.  Lived in his own little captain world.  Old and British and told stories that made no sense and weren’t really relevant. Overly polite but also we felt like he didn’t want to be there.  By the way, I saw captain multiple times a day and at EVERY meal.  I swear he’s just a figurehead who never drives the boat himself. We did a bridge tour later in the week and he made a point to roll on through and look like he was “captain-ing” at one point when we all know he just chills and makes his officers do it. Towards the end of the trip we were talking to him one day and asked how his day was, and he said he had to get up at 4 am to dock and was exhausted and slept all day afterwards.  First of all, 4 am isn’t that much earlier than a normal early wake-up time.  Second of all, docking start to finish only takes like 45 minutes MAX.  Third of all, it’s your job!!!!!!!

We finally pulled into our first port in Ketchikan on Thursday morning.  The boys each had a fun shore excursion to do (bear sanctuary, ziplining) but Brooke, Yolanda and I had a day of running from vendor to vendor to spend about 15 minutes each just learning what they offered and asking questions.  Yolanda used to travel in Alaska with Seabourn back in 2013, so she greeted every tour operator in every town as if they were her long-lost brother or sister and reunited after being away at war for six years. You’ll hear more about it as these blogs go on but lord she is the most dramatic person I have ever met and also not self-aware whatsoever but it’s fucking hysterical.  Today when we said goodbye I said, “honestly, Yolanda, I can’t remember a time before I knew you.” And that’s about how I can sum up our relationship.  

The bopping around was not as fun because we didn’t actually participate in any of the activities, and it was pouring rain.  But all things considered, not as bad as I expected it would be.  We met two super-hot fishermen (each of whom had a baby with their wives in the last week smh where do I get one) and heard all about their different excursions.  They sounded dope but there was freshly caught fish all around us on the docks and their eyes stared at me during the whole spiel and I couldn’t focus.  Why are fish eyes SO CREEPY? After a few more stops around town, our local tour operator Kari drove us to the end of the island to George Inlet Lodge and met one of the owner/operators, CANDI, who gave me a real “mom in Justified /Aunt Lydia in Handmaid’s Tale / whatever her real name is who just won an Emmy” vibe, except less cold blooded murder-y. They showed us their boats and excursions and then fed us an authentic meal just like the members would get, which included Dungeness crab legs.  I told myself before the trip started that I’d HAVE to try and eat more seafood because a) it’s fresh AF in Alaska so this is the place b) my excuse of “but it’s too expensive at restaurants” can’t apply here #freeunlimitedfood and c) I should try to immerse myself in the culture. If Kitty ever reads this she’ll die, also Kitty you should never go to Alaska.  We’re going to keep a running tab on all the seafood, I tried, okay?!  First: the “dungie” crabs.  Learned how to crack them open and everything.  They were relatively tasty, but I still don’t get why people lose their shit over crab legs, especially because it’s soooooo much work for so little payout.  I’m more of a low investment, high reward type.

After the lodge we drove to the opposite end of the island and got on a boat to drive out to Hump Island (lol) Oyster Farm, where a 20-year-old kid named Sean showed us around his dad’s operation.  He was the epitome of what I imagine an Alaskan braaaaaaaah to be and he was cracking me up. All self-deprecating humor about how no 20-year-old should know as much about oysters as him and all he wants to do is chill with his friends in the summer, not tumble oysters 12 hours a day. There were tons of pots all around the little floating island and he explained it takes an oyster about 3 years to grow to maturity and be ready to be eaten/sold, so I asked him if the pots were organized by relative age so you know which ones are new and which need more time, etc.  He said, “honestly we’re just oyster farmers we’re not the brightest most organized guys in the world but that would make sense, wouldn’t it” but all with a sweet douchey little smile only a college kid could get away with.  The thing that struck me most was just how different “summer jobs” in Alaska are for kids than in say, DC.  They don’t work at fast food restaurants or for their dad’s law firm or at daycare blah blah blah, they work on boats or on oyster farms or fishing or logging or giving tours to cruise passengers.  Builds character! And calluses!  They fed us fresh oysters after that which I really didn’t want because I had an oyster one time and I thought it was gross, but again, had to.  And it tasted better than I remember probably because I was literally on the farm where it was grown, kinda like how beer tastes better at a brewery because it never has to travel. 

Back on the ship that night, we ate at what is literally called The Restaurant.  The ship only has a few dining options – The Restaurant, which is pretty shmancy and requires a reservation (but not for us VIPs of course who had the same table reserved for us every night), the Colonnade (buffet-style, ate all of our breakfasts and lunches there) and the Grill, which is a VERY SHMANCY Thomas Keller restaurant that has cut-throat competition for reservations and apparently our members lose their minds over.  We ate there a few nights later and I accidentally got hammered on my new favorite drink, Old Cubans, and had to be essentially rolled out of there in front of the Super Hot Waiter I’m in Love With, Thomas from Belgium. Literally just conjured his face in my mind when typing this and felt an internal swoon.  I miss him so much.  ANYWAY we ate at the Restaurant each night, which had fixed menu options on the right hand side and a rotating left menu.  I tried to be ~adventurous but mostly ate a lot of steak.  Had a black truffle risotto one night and literally loved it so much asked for a second portion.  Going to the lake this weekend and stuffing myself in a bikini is going to be like, a three-person job. We had the same two servers each night – Anastasiia, a 25-year-old Russian girl who love/hated us and today tried to do a bike excursion after never having ridden a bike before and eventually gave up because she crashed too much (I said, “Anastasiia! You can’t just try and ride a bike and hope it goes well, you need someone to guide/teach you until you’re comfortable!” Smh) and Simba, a South African angel who had a crush on me and calmly put up with all of my Lion King jokes.  Listen, other than Super Hot Waiter Thomas, they all had a crush on me.  Maybe they found my complete lack of adherence to their dress code sexy in a “fuck the rules” kind of way?? (How is one supposed to dress for “elegant casual” nightly anyway…) Maybe it was how I insisted night over night that I was “one of them” and not a client because I was here for a site visit and begged them to let me hang out with them?  (The assistant Maitre’D Marius tried to pull so many strings to allow us to be invited to crew Bingo night but alas, we were rejected.) Or maybe it was because I was one of the only people on the ship under the age of 60 and I shamelessly chatted and flirted with everyone I saw, at every meal… It’s hard to say. Simba even publicly sang me a love song at the last night at dinner.  

Slept that night and woke up to the most magical, mystical, ethereal scenery of the Misty Fjords surrounding us.  I’ll post a picture so you can truly understand how magical these were.  Pouring rain but gorgeous and foggy and tranquil. TO BE CONTINUED!

[jumpingkeito]

It’s Just A Game! (Part Three)

Title: It’s Just a Game! (Part Three) Pairing: Inoo/Reader/Yama Genre: Fluff, Mild angst (??) A/N: I tried to post this a few days back but when I clicked post it never posted and I just realized smh. Thank you all for waiting!! Finals are over for me finallyy

...

“Ice cream, la la la la la la laaaa~!” Yamada hummed with his beautiful voice as the two of us slipped to the ice cream store. “Ice cream, la la la la la la laaaa~!” I copied him, grinning. If there's one thing both of us can do, that's singing. Yamada wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

“It's Yamada Ryosuke!” A girl squealed, and suddenly people swarmed us. “Are you his girlfriend?” Some girl asked me. “I hope not!” Someone responded.Yamada was smiling and signing autographs and posing for pictures as he pushed us out if the crowd. He whispered in my ear, “Run.”  And so the both of us did. We ran with all our might, away from the chasing fangirl until we descended upon our ice cream shop. “JACOB!” We yelled, pounding at the glass door. The man who owned the shop, Jacob, saw us and let us in, before locking the door. The fangirl all pressed their faces to the door but couldn't get in. Jacob turned the sign so that it said ‘closed’.Me and Yamada shuffled back and sighed in relief as they one by one they left the door and we were left alone again.

“How many times have I told you to wear a disguise when going out?” Jacob scolded Yamada. “I keep telling you, this is America, not Japan. Fangirls are ruthless.” He sighed. Yamada looked guilty. “You're lucky I had no customers at that moment or else I wouldn't be able to lock the door.” Jacob went to the counter. “Is it ice cream day? You guys are a little late.” Jacob looked at the clock. “Oh we already got ice cream, at that new place.” I said, smiling. Jacob frowned.  “Fine then. You can't have any ice cream from here.” “It wasn't as good as yours though! So we were headed here to get the good ice cream, when that happened.” Yamada grinned, a little sheepish. “Alright then! Go ahead and choose the best ice cream in town!” Jacob said, pulling out his scooper with a big smile on his face. “Yes sir!” we both chimed, and ordered our ice cream. Me and Yamada both sat there, conversing lightly with Jacob. Jacob was basically a father to the both of us, plus really good ice cream.

When we were walking home, Yamada took my hand, stopping us in the middle of the street. It was dark, so we stood underneath the streetlight. “Hey (y/n).” He looked serious. “Yes?” I said, my brows furrowing with worry. “I have a question.” He said, lacing his fingers with mine. “What is it?” I asked.

“My manager told me there's been high demand for a tour this year, and with the release of my EP, my career is skyrocketing.” He smiled a little. “That's amazing!” I gasped, cheering for him. He nodded before looking away. “What's the matter?” I asked. “I'm thinking of getting signed earlier and moving back to Japan. Quit school next month or so.” “What?” My eyes widened, and I felt my heart start to ache. “You can't be serious!” But Yamada kept the same solemn expression on his face, and I knew that he was. I let out a small smile. “Well, it does sound like an amazing opportunity. I'm sure you'll be very successful.”

“Come with me.” He said.

“What?” I gasped. “To Japan. I need you there with me.” He begged. I shook my head.  “Yamada you know I can't…” “I know… Ivy League school… But… You’re my only hope there! You're the person who wrote the music in my EP! You're the songwriter behind Moonlight!” He grasped my hands tighter. “I don't want to go without you.” He murmured.

My heart ached.

“Tell me, soon okay?” He smiled softly, his eyes still a little sad. I nodded. “I will.”

...

“Yamada, good morning.” I greeted him. The boy looked at me worried. “Are you okay?” He asked. “About last night? Yes, I'm fine.” I smiled. “No not that… did you check the news at all this morning? Or social media?” Yamada frowned. I shook my head. “Go look, now.” He ordered me. I pulled out my phone and scrolled through articles before I saw a photo.

A blurry side shot of me and Yamada standing under the streetlights, hands clasped and looking into each other's eyes. The way they took it made us look like a couple. I couldn't mask my shock. My hands shook. This was the last thing I wanted. Exposure to the media. I was supposed to be the girl on the sidelines, supporting my best friend since childhood.

“I've denied all allegations but… I'm sorry (y/n). I should have been more careful.” He apologized. I shook my head. “It's alright Yama-” I scrolled further down the article.  An anonymous source told us that her name was (y/n) (l/n). She's the childhood friend of Yamada Ryosuke, as well and the songwriter behind all his music!  My head spun. How could they find everything out like that? Who tipped them? Yamada put a hand in my shoulder.

“(y/n), go home early today. Don't leave your house. I'll visit you later okay?” He told me. I merely nodded, my head whirling. My mind was numb as I shuffled out of school. Yama's manager, Nathan, found me and told me that Yamada had ordered him to drive me back home. At home I blindly led myself to my room and collapsed on the bed. The monitor on my desk flashed, reminding me that there was one comfort I could go to. 

Inoo.

“Inoo!” I called waving. The boy turned around and smiled. “(y/n)... The news.” He trailed off, not meeting my gaze. “Wait how do you know?” I gasped. Inoo pulled out his phone, which seemed to work fine, besides messaging. “It’s everywhere. I didn’t know you had a boyfriend.” he smiled. I shook my head.  “No! It’s not like that at all!” I waved my hands in front of me. He looked relieved. “Oh, okay good!” Inoo grinned, and I felt myself grin back. “And so he wants me to go to Japan with him.” I finished telling the boy my situation.He looked grim. “If you go to Japan, will you take me with you?” He asked, looking a little upset. “I’ve been so lonely. I never realized how much I valued humans until now.” The mushroom haired boy took my hand. “Please?” he asked. I felt my heart drop, feeling guilty. I was the only person he could see, and I never realized that. I nodded. “Of course I will. I’m getting you out of this game remember?” I smiled. He nodded, relieved. “Thank you.” he sighed. I smiled.

“Has anyone ever told you you resembled a cat?” “What?” Inoo made a face, staring at me in confusion. I laughed. “There it is! You act like a cat sometimes.” “I do not!” He protested. I just grinned. “Sure.” I stood on my tippy toes to ruffle his hair before pausing midway. The embarrassment rushed to my face and I quickly pulled away, trying  to hide my blush. Inoo leaned over and put his lips by my ear.

“Meow~”

“Ahh!”

[je-suis-la-wolf-girl]

Into It

Embry Call x Reader x Paul Lahote

Request or Original: Original

A/N: So lately I feel like I can’t make up my mind on who I like the most between Paul and Embry, so I decided to make a love triangle story about it. This takes place in New Moon before Embry first phases.

I got inspired by ‘Into It’ by Camila Cabello

Part 1?

‘‘I’m not a psychic

But I see myself all over you

I’m sick on you, sick on you

But you’re the medecine too’’

Embry stood by his locker next to his two best friends, Jacob and Quil. The boys were having a casual talk until Embry’s crush started to slowly walk over to them, stopping a few times to say hi to some girls she was friends with.

Y/N Y/L/N is the girl Embry has been in love with for the past two years.

‘‘Here comes the one who takes Embry’s breath away with just one blink of an eye.’‘, Quil said causing a laugh to come out of Jacob’s lips.

‘‘Shut up, she could hear you.’‘, Embry said as he sent a little glare at Quil. He sighed as he took in the beauty that was Y/N.

‘‘I’ve been in love with that girl for the past two years and even though I never told her how I feel about her- and probably never will, I can really see myself with her.’‘, Embry was still focusing on the girl who was a few feet away from him. It was crazy how with just one look or one smile from Y/N, the Call boy would always try to control the red forming on his cheeks. Whenever she would touch him, his pulse would increase in a way that scared him to death because of how strong it was. Y/N was the person he would always go to for whatever he wanted or needed. Sure, he had Jacob and Quil, but he would still want to go to Y/N, which also led him to spend more time with her. Besides, Quil would end up making jokes after he would listen to him and Jacob would say the same thing over and over again which was: ‘‘Go talk to her and tell her how you feel.’‘ But that wasn’t an option for Embry. He was way too shy to tell her, especially because the feelings weren’t mutual.

Unfortunately for the Call boy, Y/N was head over heels for Paul Lahote.

Y/N walked over to the three boys she loved the most, besides Paul. She hugged each one of them and smiled at them. The girl was way too oblivious to the way Embry would look at her and the little nods and smiles Jacob and Quil would share after each time Embry and Y/N would interact.

‘‘Guess who already wants to go home?’‘, Y/N asked the boys, then pointed at herself, ‘‘This girl right here.’‘

In the same moment, Paul and Jared walked into school and made every girl swoon and every guy feel intimidated.

Y/N’s breath got taken away by the guy she has been crushing on for a year.

‘‘Maybe I can stay here a little longer. He really doesn’t need to try to look like a model.’‘, she said while bitting her bottom lip, ‘‘He is so handsome.’‘

This comment made Embry step back and look away from the girl who caused him so much happiness and sadness at the same time.

Jacob immediately noticed how down Embry looked, so being the good friend he is, grabbed Y/N by her arm and dragged her to their first class.

‘’The gravity can’t hold us, your hands are outer space

I can’t make sense of nothing and words just get in the way

This couch is getting smaller, but it’s my favorite place’’

The core four walked into their first class and sat down at their usual seats: Quil with Jacob and Embry with Y/N. Right before the bell rang to signal that the first period has started, the duo, Jared and Paul walked in and sat down three seats behind Embry and Y/N.

Y/N didn’t even know what made her love Paul that much. They had never talked before and they had never made any eye contact before either. She was like the cliché pathetic girl who was in love with the most wanted and popular guy in school and she hated herself for that. She would usually go for guys like Embry or Jacob, but never like Paul, so what was it?

Little did she know that even if Paul and her had never made any eye contact, the Lahote guy thought she was a very gorgeous girl. For some reason, the girl intrigued him. Even if nobody would ever expect that, Paul knew the girl’s name and last name. In various occasions, he has wanted to go over to the unknown girl and ask her out, but the fact that she was surrounded by guy friends made him stop. Not that he was scared- heck no. He just knew that Jacob would never let him get near Y/N.

Whenever Paul would walk into the room, Y/N would stop whatever she was doing or saying just to look at him. She has always wanted to get to know him, even if all the girls at school talk about all the one night stands he had. Rumor has it, that he has a one night stand every friday night, but Y/N chose not to believe in anything people were saying about the guy she loved. She wondered so many times what was Paul’s reaction when he saw her- if he saw her. This brings back all the times she had tried to go over to him and introduce herself, but she could never find the right words to say or they would get stuck in her throat. 

Y/N was lost in thoughts, not paying attention to what the teacher was saying and so was Embry. Their elbows were touching, which made a few sparks run up his arm. He just wanted to get closer to her, turn her around, pull her chair against his and kiss her- a passionate one.

--------

During lunch, the four friends talked about nothing serious, like always, just cracking some jokes, until Y/N started talking about Paul as her stare was on him.

‘‘It’s like he doesn’t even know I exist. How can I make this change?- And do not tell me to go talk to him because it will never happen. I mean what is it? Am I not beautiful enough?’‘

Even though it pained him so much that her attention was always focused on Paul, he couldn’t let her think that way of herself.

‘‘I think you look beautiful.’‘, he sincerely said looking at her. Jacob sent his boy a small smile and Quil sent him a wink even though he wasn’t looking at them

‘‘Awe,’‘ Y/N tore her stare away from Paul and looked at Embry, ‘‘thank you, Embry.’‘, she said as she slightly blushed, ‘‘But you’re only saying that because you’re my friend. I want to know what he thinks about me.’‘ Right after she finished her sentence, she looked back at Paul who was laughing at something Jared said.

Even though Jacob was a patient person, he was starting to get very irritated of how oblivious Y/N was to the fact that she could have everything she ever wanted in a boyfriend with Embry. Also, he was tired of seeing his best friend so down for this girl who wanted to have someone who didn’t even know if she existed or not. Embry was complimenting her, yet she only thought about the guy on steroids. It was seriously pissing him off.

“Y/N can you please stop.”, Jacob said with irritation all over his face and voice. His sudden outburst took the other three by surprise.

The oblivious girl frowned and looked at the boy sitting in front of her.

‘‘Excuse me?’‘

“Why do you keep doing this to yourself? Do you like torturing yourself or something?”

The girl was still frowning, but now it was because she was shocked. She didn’t understand his outburst. They usually let her rant about Paul considering she has no girl friends she could trust. They never stopped her before, so what was it now?

“Why would you say that?”

“Because you keep trying to get Paul’s attention and he doesn’t give two shits about you. You’re here putting all your attention on someone who doesn’t deserve you, while the one you should give all your attention to, isn’t even a priority in your eyes and I’m sick of it.”

Shock was the best way to describe how Y/N felt. “W-What do you mean? Who are you talking about?”

“I’m into it

Whatever trouble that you’re thinking I could get into it

I see a king-sized bed in the corner we should get into it

All of the things I wanna do to you is infinite

I mean if you’re into it, I’m into it’’

“I’m talking about a boy who would do anything you want to, even if he’s not a hundred percent into it, just to see you smile and be happy. Someone Who would treat you right and be the best boyfriend you could ever ask for, but you’re too blind to see it.”

She kept trying to figure out who it was. She really had no idea who Jacob was talking about. 

Embry was starting to panic on the inside. Jacob was too mad and he didn’t know if he would spill the beans. Quil on the other hand, noticed how panicked Embry was, so he started to calm Jacob down, but it didn’t work that much.

‘‘Seeing as you know a lot about who can make me happy and be my person, why don’t you tell me who he is instead of making me go crazy trying to figure out who he is?”, Y/N asked Jacob. She was starting to get worked up. What the heck was wrong with him? She has never been this rude to him whenever he would talk about all his issues with Bella- and that happened a lot. Jacob talked more about Bella than Y/N about Paul and that says a lot considering that the girl did, indeed, talk very much about her crush. He was being a total hypocrite and a jerk.

“Oh God! Seriously? You really can’t see it?”, Jacob asked her in disbelieve.

‘‘I really can’t Jacob, which is why I’m asking you!”

‘‘It’s Embry!”

Yeah, bleh. It was so much better in my head smh! Anyway, let me know if I should make part 2?

Part 2: https://je-suis-la-wolf-girl.tumblr.com/post/170175130949/into-it-part-2

Part 3: https://je-suis-la-wolf-girl.tumblr.com/post/170435176959/into-it-3

[naomi-lafleur]

A Series of Unfortunate Dates

A/N: School has been a pain in the butt lately. That’s my excuse for this fic. @viola-smithin We shall write that wonderful story one day ;) Mention of @aileen-hollingsworth @niara-aldaine @haidenschreave Sorry I changed the order of some messages bc I had the whole thing written and it’d take a lot of time to change all of it. 

Yeh sorry about Friday. We’ve been holding that in for weeks and we broke (just like how Naomi did)

I woke to the sound of water droplets gently tapping the window. I was taken aback when I encountered a tray full of needles beside my bed. Suddenly, a sharp pain struck my shoulder. Memories of guns and ukuleles started flooding back into my mind. My heart started beating faster and faster as I pieced all the information together. How long was I out for?

I heard a soft humming coming towards me. The door slightly cracked open for a moment and a nurse walked in. I stared at her as she swiftly strolled right past me. After a five second delay, she turned around in awe. “Lady Naomi! You’re finally awake! Everyone has been worried sick about you.” Before I had a chance to respond, she ran out the door, calling for a doctor. Turns out that I had been in a coma for a week after Felix brought me to the hospital wing.

I was bedridden for another few days after I woke up. My arm was feeling much better than it had previously. Another round of elimination had gone by so fast. I received the news that Niara, Adriana, and Delphi had been let go from Aileen, who was visiting. We screamed (of joy) at each other for what felt like hours after revealing her dirty secret. Smh why didn’t she tell me earlier?

That little carrot stick. At least one of us would be royal.

I got up early in the morning and hobbled to Niara’s room to say our farewells. It was quite an emotional morning. Eager for some fresh air, I headed to the roof with my sketchbook.

Finally some peace and quiet. I leaned against the ledge and started drawing the flock of birds in the sky

How am I still here? Hadn’t I already been rejected? … Don’t worry, Naomi. You still have a chance in this!

So, date ideas…. I could bring him up to the roof and watch the sunset. Bleh, too cheesy.

I had really been longing to leave the palace. Maybe go into town? Imagine all the people swarming around you guys for the whole day. Okay, scratch that idea.

I glanced up for a second and noticed a chickadee that landed right in front of me. It reminded me of home, which was just what I needed to cheer me up. After a while of thinking, I checked my watch.

Already 1PM? Maybe I could catch Haiden right now and have our date.

Luckily, I found him in the hallways just as I was heading to the kitchen. “Hey Haiden! Are you free at the moment?”

“Namoi Laflour. Of course I am. What’s up?“

“Well, I’m taking you to the beach today, so change into some comfy clothes and meet me by the door in 15 minutes,” I said confidently.

“Um, okay.” He got changed and met me downstairs a while later.

“It’s so weird not seeing you in a suit and tie.”

He shrugged. “Weird good or weird bad?”

“Definitely weird good.���

“Well, I’m flattered”

“I like the casual look. You should do it more often,” I said grinning. “Okay, we should head out now.”

“Okay, uh, so what gave you this idea?”

Ah, I see we’re back at the awkward phase.

“Well awhile ago, me and some of the selected were planning on running off to the beach, but we never got around to it and now all of them are gone. So I thought, who do I know that owes me a date and would enjoy a relaxing vacation?”

“I don’t know about enjoy, but I’ll do it.” He said with a laugh, as if he wasn’t being negative and ruining my spirit.

I sighed deeply, frustrated already, within the first few minutes of the date. “Do you have to do that? I just wanted to do something fun before you send me home because you obviously can’t stand me.”

“What, I… What?”

Come on.

“You just give off the feeling, Haiden.”

“That I can’t stand you? How’d I give off that feeling? Was keeping you here not a tell-tale sign that I like you?”

Well, you rejected me a while ago… I think that says a lot. Aren’t I still here because it couldn’t be the final two?

I glanced at the distance, doing anything I could to avoid his gaze “You just seem very… distant. I don’t know.”

“You should be more confident in yourself. No one could possibly hate you.” He said, like it sounded easy.

Be more confident, Naomi. Always be happy, Naomi. Do this, be that… What if I can’t? What if I’m already broken on the inside? What if I go insane one day? What if… I can’t take it one day and I do something I’ll regret?

Softly I replied. “Maybe not other people, but definitely myself.”

“Naomi…” he begins.

I gave a deep sigh, wiped the tear that was forming in my eye, and did what I was always raised to do. Apologize. “Sorry for ruining the mood… This may be our last date, so let’s just have a fun day at the beach, alright?”

In return, I got an awkward, wary look. “Works for me. Let’s go.”

See, Naomi? Haiden doesn’t care. He just wants The Selection to end and run off with Sophie. Leave you in the dirt, where you belong.

“Okay, off to the beach we go then.”

More awkward silence. Why did you ruin this? Can I just wallow in a hole? Is it too early to head off to my ranch with my army of Japanse Russian ninja cow children?

“So, uh… you come here often?”

“Well.. seeing as before this I’ve never been to Angeles, I’ve got to go with no, I don’t come here often.” I grinned.

“Yeah, that sounded like a cheesy pickup line. You’d think I’d be better at this by now”

“Yeah, I would think you’d at least have some grate pick up lines by now… Grate… Get it? Like a cheese grater? Haha I’m pretty bad at jokes, not going to lie.”

“You’re bad at jokes, I’m bad at pick-up lines. Guess we’re even”

“It’s the perfect match”

“Definitely”

We ended up heading off to the beach, making small conversation the entire way, like we had just met. Everything was painfully awkward.

“C'mon, let’s build a sandcastle,” I said, trying to distract myself from the hypnotic ocean. He agreed even though didn’t seem all that thrilled.

“God, it’s been forever since I was here”

“When’s the last time you came?”

“When I was little. I was never one for Sandy fun and salt water.”

“I don’t get to go to the beach often, living in Waverly.”

He shrugged. “It’s overrated. I mean, who even enjoys sand? It’s course and rough and it gets everywhere.”

“You don’t seem to like anything. Not sand, not me, not even the water.”

“I never said I didn’t like you. I do like you.”

Nice joke.

“Do you like me enough?”

“Enough for what?”

“Just… Am I good enough for you?”

Haiden looked directly at my eyes and shook his head. “Don’t talk about yourself like that. You’re not something that I can look at and give a grade or rating to. And whether or not I choose you isn’t a measure of your self-worth, Naomi. Remember, boys are trashbags.”

“You should be a counselor,” I said as I hugged him. 

“A trashbag counselor” 

“So, um… How is your family holding up?” I asked. Despite the depressing mood I still wanted to be a good friend and be there, after all his mother had just been brutally assassinated by his psycho ex girlfriend, and a girl once known as my friend.

“Well, we’re doing as well as can be, I guess.” He said, looking off, being distant again.

Such an interesting conversation.

After that we were quiet, sitting, soaking in the sad atmosphere we had created. It felt like I was drowning in sappy backstory.

The beach was surprisingly empty on such a nice day. I had to wonder if some calls were made to ensure safety or whatever, clear off the beach, just had it be us.

That would be so romantic if it weren’t because his mom had died.

I went out to where the waves were crashing against the beach, took my shoes off, hiked up my skirt a bit, and felt the cool water touch my feet. It felt so nice that I just wanted to be engulfed by the cold water, and be swept away with the current, but I knew if I did that, I wouldn’t be able to have my ranch, and I wasn’t about to give up all my life dreams to become an ocean goddess. I could stick to being a meme queen for now.

As I was standing in the water, feeling the waves crash over my ankles which were showing (so scandalous), Haiden joined me, and we had a sort of therapeutic experience of just letting our legs be soaked. It was oddly calming, I now understood why people found the ocean a nice place to clear your mind because as I stood there with my feet in the water, overlooking the horizon, I felt everything that seemed so confusing and difficult to understand fade away.

I must’ve stood there for at least half an hour before Haiden led me away, telling me my feet would fall off from the cold, I realized the ocean didn’t have the same effect on Haiden as it did me.

He thinks I’m crazy. Who am I kidding at this point? I am crazy. Everyone knows it, Naomi, you’re the weird girl again, just like back home. The weirdo obsessed with cows, or fire, or almonds. They’ll all leave you… One by one. Just like always. He doesn’t want to spend time with you. Why would he? You’re nothing but a freak and a crazy girl. You’re worthless. A piece of trash, waiting to be thrown out.

I tried to build up another sandcastle, and the outcome ended up looking like how I felt. A pile of lumpy sand thrown together, trying to look put together. Needless to say, it wasn’t cute.

I got so frustrated with my lack of ability to make a sandcastle that I smooshed it and insisted we just leave. Rage was filling my soul and I needed to be alone so I could get rid of it effectively, rather than squishing sand castles and punching something.

Haiden was able to call back the car and we left immediately. The beach date had been an utter disaster. My feet, still wet and sandy, pulled into the car and we drove off. I didn’t even bother trying to grab my shoes, they would be a nice present for whoever came to that beach next.

I was so angry that I just wanted to cry or react in some way to get that pushing feeling out of my chest.

Mila or Sophie would make a much better queen. Haiden actually likes them. You’re here out of pity. If Cressida hadn’t assassinated his mother, she would be here instead of you.

My head couldn’t seem to shut up, spouting insults at me like there was no tomorrow. There was a battle going on inside my one being. If Haiden had noticed this happening, he didn’t make any indication he knew.

The car pulled up to the palace and I felt a rush of relief knowing I would be able to burn something soon. Before I was able to get out of the car and start sprinting to my room, Haiden grabbed my hand.

“Are you okay? You don’t seem like yourself today.”

I laughed bitterly. “People can’t be happy all the time Haiden, you should know that better than anyone.” And with that I flung open the door, not bothering to wait for the chauffeur and made a b line for the front door.

How do I get to my room? How long have I been here, yet I still didn’t know how to make it to my own room. God Naomi, you’re pathetic. This is not the time to be clueless! You’re trying to make a dramatic exit and storm out of here.

I turned left once and then right twice and then I realized I was lost and couldn’t take it anymore. I stopped where I was, in the middle of an empty hallway and sunk to the floor, crying. I couldn’t take it anymore. All the anger, all the depressing thoughts, and sadness I bottled up since coming to the palace… since papa died, spilled out of me all at once.

You aren’t good enough. You’re never good enough, you’ll never be. Why. WHY CAN’T YOU DO ANYTHING RIGHT? It’s your fault papa died and it’s your fault Queen Alize died. It’s all your fault! Why can’t you be normal? Why… must you exist?

Amidst my sobbing I hadn’t noticed footsteps coming closer to me.

“Naomi?” I heard the familiar voice say.

Oh God, this is exactly what I was trying to avoid. Could I lie my way out? I just got a letter saying my cat died. He probably won’t even know it’s a lie. I don’t even have a cat. Why would he bother knowing that about me?

“No, my name is Namoi. Naomi is busy at the moment. Y-You could leave a message.” I said, not trying to stop the tears from falling but rather trying to hide them.

“Is that so?” He said, amused with my antics.

“Yeah, actually I should probably go find her now. Nice seeing you again.” I said, trying to push past him before he stopped me in my tracks.

“Wait, just… just wait.” He said as if I had a choice of leaving while he was holding my arm.

“What?” I said begrudgingly. Why didn’t he understand I just wanted to be left alone. If he was allowed to deal with his issues alone, then so was I.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” I said, tears still flowing down my face.

Aurora is going to be so angry that you ruined her nice makeup. Why do you ruin everything in your vicinity?

“Naomi.” He said sternly.

I broke. I was tired of trying to be the goody two shoes. I was tired of everyone stepping all over me like I was worthless. I was tired… of letting everyone think I was fine with everything. That I don’t get upset. That I don’t care. News flash, I do. After all, I am human. (No, yer a witch, Naomi HA Shut up Vivian)

“It’s… It’s just been a bad day.” I said in between sobs. “My cat just died.” I said as an afterthought.

“When did you get a cat?” Haiden asked, which I responded to by sobbing harder.

“I-I got him… before I came to the palace.” Haiden didn’t question my any further, instead pulled me in for a hug, letting all my tears drain out of my face.

After I finished crying, I wiped my eyes once again, pulled away from Haiden.

“I need to tell you something.” I said after a bit of standing and cleaning my face up. Surely I had mascara all down my cheeks.

“What?”

“I don’t have a cat.”

“I know.”

I nodded, laughing, despite the mood.

“Hey Naomi, what you said about not being happy all the time. What did you mean?”

“Sometimes I just feel like I always have to be the happy person people think I am. It’s stupid but-” I was interrupted.

“It’s not stupid.”

“Thanks.”

“And it’s fine to have bad days, but please don’t just go about them without telling someone, okay?” I nodded, wondering if he was speaking from experience, but not wanting to pry.

“I won’t, thanks Haiden.” I look up and stare at him, wondering whether or not I should tell him about the incident that has been bothering me. “Haiden… I-I need to tell you something. I’ve been bottling up everything bad that has happened to me since… god knows how long… a-and,” I feel the tear forming in eye. ”I just broke.”

I paused for a second, contemplating whether or not I should continue.

“You should know that… that day of the first attack,” I paused again. “I-I saw Cressida. I thought I was hallucinating b-but I wasn’t. I could’ve saved Queen Alizé… I could’ve prevented this whole damn situation… but I didn’t, and I can never, ever, ever, forgive myself for that. Kick me out now if you want to… this has just been eating me up and I’m sorry for everything.”

The tear rolls down my cheek as my mind throws every insult it could think of at me. He stares at me silently for a moment before he wraps his arms around me. 

“There are a lot of things we regret in life. There are a lot of things we wish we could change. Don’t… don’t worry about it.”

This makes me sob even harder for some reason. It was an unpleasant sight to see. Realizing that I was bawling into his arms, I calmed myself down and apologized a million more times. 

“I-It’s alright. Just… Don’t beat yourself up over this, Naomi.” 

“I’ll try not to…” There was a long moment of silence. “Now, I think I should go and find Naomi, don’t you think?” I said, trying to lift up this depressing mood and referencing the lame excuse I tried to use earlier.

“Go ahead, Namoi.” I laughed and started walking before again realizing I was lost. How could I have forgotten?

“Hey Haiden.”

“Yeah.”

“…I don’t exactly know how to get to my room from here.”

He laughed and led the way.

Today was a bad day…. but I’ll be okay.

CRACK FIC TIMEEEEEEEE by: @niara-aldaine @viola-smithin and moi

I sincerely apologize for this

You ruined it Naomi, again. Why do you always have to do this? Why do you mess up everything you touch? Remember that expensive ass lamp that grandma gave us? WELL, YOU BROKE THAT SHIT TOO BLOODY HELL M8

(I’m tempted to say trash but i cant) GARBAE LIKE GARBAGE BAE

IM A GENIUS

YOU NEVER CEASE TO AMAZE ME

GARBAE

BAE WHO IS GARBAGE

CALL URBAN DICTIONARY

START A NEW TREND

I FORGOT ABOUT HAIDEN CUZ LORD KNOWS THAT BITCH IS CONFUSING. I SAY HE’S DISTANT HE SAYS WHAT??? THEN IGNORED ME FOR 4 MILLION YEARS AND THEN EATS MY FUCKING EAR. WHAT THE HELL?

I hadn’t realized but at some point in my contemplation of becoming a salty Barbie ocean goddess who can fucking salsa like SHAKIRA SHAKIRA with a 70’s headband, Haiden the fat-hoed 6-toed shark ass pork nibbler, snuck up behind me and SWALLOWED MY FUCKING EAR. WHAT THE HELL DUDE. WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT TO A PERSON, MUCH LESS A PERSON THAT CAN FUCKING SALSA LIKE SHAKIRA SHAKIRA WITH A 70’S HEADBAND, THAT IS NOT OK, BROCHACHO. I MEAN, I CAN FUCKING SALSA DUDE. I decided that Haiden needed a bag of fucking Doritos to calm his titties down and a good hair shave. His hormones were WAY out of control. Why didn’t I win then? Maybe he liked someone mild and bland, just like himself. But then again, it wasn’t MY fucking fault that Haiden, the guacamole egghead whisk couldn’t handle such SPICYNESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. I mean, I am pretty caliente.

After I managed to get my slobbered on ear back because Niara was very generous and blasted his stomach open with nuclear rice bombs made in Japananananan, I got to a professional donkey egghead whisk hospital and the very caliente police arrested Haiden for being a hormonic teenager nutzo who only guacamoled. He couldn’t calm his saggy raging titties so then Niara also blasted those off for him. Then I became the default queen because me la died from some mysterious reasons (cough Russians) and sophie went to the mountains. All was well. I invited a cow named Hachangchangchang to the redecorated Pepe meme palace to rule alongside me on SHAKIRA SHAKIRA thrones, at which point we had 50 japanse RUSSIAN kids all starting with the letter B. My favorite twins were BABANGBANG and BABANGBANGBANG. Viola and her girlfriend Sofika changed their names to Kakangkang and SHAKIRA SHAKIRA because they loved me that much. The oldest of them, KeekeeKomKikKokKeKikKokKakKue (Try saying that 5 times) took over and ruled with a fair hand full of chicken nuggets (all organic, courtesy of Mika Vladmska, the rice farmer) and her husband, Steve. (No one better fucking eat him this time, MULA)  It was a peaceful rule (when Niara wasn’t bombing all the countries with her faithful pet polar bear, Dorito Nachos, and that dude, Feliz Navidad). All was good, all was right.

We pulled a Abby Schreave

“Thanks, now I’m gonna GO NIBBLE ON AN EAR LATER LOSER”  THEN I STOLE HIS EAR AND RAN OFF MUAHHAAHHAHAHA FABULOUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

ALL DONE ENDO WHOPPPIE THIS IS SOME GOOD QUALITY CRAP.

Dr Phil voice: “You’ve got a problem”

[chrismaverickdotcom]

On the new Mandingo...

My friend and former wrestling tag team partner Donté posted a link on Facebook to an article a little while ago. Before I share the article I want to share my initial reaction. This is what I commented to Donté: “ oh for…. you’re fucking kidding me…. I mean, wow…..” that was my initial reaction.

My second reaction was to hit the share button myself and not actually write a blog about it other than to say “I am just too annoyed and upset about the idea of this to even write a blog. So I’m just resharing it with a link to what Donté said.” And then I found that I was already automatically writing a paragraph of bitchiness.

Ok, so first, let me share what happened. It seems that because he joined in the NFL kneeling protests this weekend some 25,000+ (at the time of my writing this) Baltimore Ravens fans have signed a petition asking for the removal of Ray Lewis’s statue in front of the Baltimore Ravens’ stadium. Sigh…

To quote Donté, “So he was cool enough to have a statue when he was just alleged murderer.. But, he takes a knee nah dog. Smh.”

I’m going to stick with my “you’re fucking kidding me!”

Here’s the deal. I am not a Ray Lewis fan. I am a lifelong Pittsburgh Steelers fan. I grew up squarely in Cleveland Browns territory. It is fundamental to my identity to just be automatically predisposed to hating the Baltimore Ravens. And that’s even aside from other issues with Ray Lewis. Fuck Ray Lewis.

That said, if you think this is the reason to remove Ray Lewis’s statue… fuck you! Seriously… go fuck yourself. Fuck you so much more than fuck Ray Lewis. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you… and I’ll tell you why.

I’ve been pretty clear about my stance on Colin Kaepernick kneeling for the national anthem. I support it. It’s important. If you don’t understand why it’s important, well… you’re not going to. I get that. Keep not understanding and bringing more attention to the issue. For all the boneheaded dumbassness of the President, he did a net good thing by turning this from a protest of like 10 people to a protest of about 200 people. So awesome.

But that’s not why you should go fuck yourself.

No, you should go fuck yourself specifically if you think that THIS was the camel’s back for pulling down Lewis’s statue. See, for those of you who don’t follow sports, On January 31, 2000, four years into his seventeen year football career, Lewis and two of his friends got into a physical fight with two other black men that resulted in the other two men being stabbed to death at a nightclub during a Super Bowl party. Lewis eventually took a plea deal (obstruction of justice) and flipped on his friends, both of whom were tried and eventually acquitted for the murder. He went on to become Super Bowl MVP the next year and kept playing for another decade. In 2014, two years after he retired, the team put up a statue in his honor. Baltimore loves Ray Lewis.

Or loved him.

But no… apparently 25,000+ people think that kneeling down during the national anthem is a greater offense than being an alleged murder suspect. Remember, Lewis’s friends walked. Lewis pled guilty to obstruction. Literally, Ray Lewis is the only person on earth who has ever been convicted of a crime in relation to that murder. But that was forgiven because he was a hell of a football player.

But apparently he isn’t allowed to have a political opinion 5 years after retirement.

Look, I don’t care how you feel about kneeling during the national anthem. Ok, that’s not true. I do care… and if you have a problem with it, you’re a fucking idiot. But really, as I said before, it’s because of your idiocy that this is getting press. You are what makes this an effective protest.

But don’t pretend this is a moral outrage. It’s not. Ray Lewis played 17 years with the Baltimore Ravens. He is a two time Super Bowl champion, one time Super Bowl MVP, thirteen time Pro Bowler, and as much as it pains me to say, one of the greatest linebackers that ever played the sport. He is football royalty. He is an easy first round ballot pick for the NFL Hall of Fame. And because of that, he without a doubt deserves the statue in front of the stadium that frankly, he fucking built. That said, there is not a single fan in that city who doesn’t know that he was a suspect in a double murder. Even if he didn’t kill them himself, he was involved in the fight that led to their deaths. HE FUCKING ADMITS THIS! HE TESTIFIED TO IT!!! But I maintain that the two things are unrelated. No matter how awful a person he may or may not be outside of football, he is without a doubt one of the greatest to ever play.

But no, the petition to remove the statue stems from his protest, not his involvement in a double murder. The petition even says “I will not stand for that kind of disrespect towards our country, especially from a legend such as Ray Lewis.” In other words, the petition writer believes that Lewis has even less right to his opinion because of how good a football player he was.

And that’s the problem. You may not believe in Colin Kaepernick. You may not believe in #BlackLivesMatter. You may have a faulty understanding of what the flag represents or how long it has been a tradition to have the players stand for the national anthem (answer, eight years… in other words, only since the last three of Lewis’s career). You may have such conviction for your misled patriotism that you’re now willing to boycott the NFL (and I don’t believe you… you can say whatever the fuck you want, no football fan is missing their team in the playoffs over this). You may think that #BlackLivesMatter is a racist movement because “all lives matter.” You may think all of this is stupid and you may not understand any of it.

Understand this… if you are offended by Lewis’s statue BECAUSE of his kneeling and not because of the rest of his personal history, then you DO NOT believe “all lives matter” and specifically you think black lives don’t matter at all. What you believe is that you want to see a bunch of dumb giant black men crashing into each other for your entertainment. And you don’t care if they literally kill each other off the field. You just don’t want to think that they might have personal opinions that might differ from what you believe. You don’t want them to have opinions at all. You aren’t mad at Ray Lewis because he knelt. You’re mad at him because the nigger didn’t dance when you told him to dance. You’re mad at him because when you said jump, the nigger didn’t ask how high? You’re mad at him because the nigger reminded you that he might be more than an animal that fights other animals for your amusement.

I have on many occasions said that I completely support the rights of white supremacists to march, to carry their nazi flag, to fly the confederate battle flag. I stand by that. If a white player wants to scream “white power” as they take the field, I actually won’t try to stop him. I won’t be a fan. I might bitch about him. But I support his right to do it. And I mean this. I said before that Donté and I were tag team partners. We were part of a group that we called Affirmative Action, a reference to exactly what it sounds like. And if you’re a part of wrestling, then you need to just accept that there is going to be no shortage of white wrestlers with southern gimmicks wearing confederate flag inspired outfits. I might not agree with it, but I never had a problem with any of them. I STILL support their right to stand up for something I don’t believe in… even in the name of entertainment.

You might say “all lives matter” but if you’ve signed this petition… If you have ever said “they can protest on their own time” (something that clearly people also don’t REALLY believe)…if you have a problem with this at all… then you DON’T think all lives matter.  You DON’T think their lives matter. And you sure as hell don’t think black ones do. Or at least they don’t matter as much as your comfort level of being able to pretend you’re a patriot while stuffing your face with fucking nachos.

Go fuck yourself.

Ray Lewis says ‘racist’ tweet from Colin Kaepernick’s girlfriend kept the Ravens from signing the quarterback

Donald Trump says NFL anthem protests have ‘nothing to do with race’ as fresh demonstrations follow Wembley stunt

Steelers stay in the locker room during national anthem as 100 NFL players protest

Who took a knee? How each NFL team responded to Donald Trump’s tweets about anthem protests

NFL Players Across the Country Take A Knee In Response To Trump

Spike Lee Promotes Rally For Colin Kaepernick, Spells His Name Wrong On The Flyer [PHOTO]

NFL Teams Are Now Taking Turns Systematically Humiliating Colin Kaepernick

NAACP to NFL: Quit blackballing Kaepernick

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On the new Mandingo… was originally published on ChrisMaverick dotcom