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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years ago

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Survey #287

“keep him tied - it makes him well / he’s getting better, can’t you tell?”

What are you favorite things to watch on YouTube? I like a pretty big variety now. I’d say I’ve been mostly into pet YouTubers lately, especially reptile ones. Oh, and WoW stuff. Can you pick out any constellations in the sky without looking them up online? Besides the Little or Big Dipper (idk which is which), nope. Are you religious? If so, what influenced you to start believing God? If you’re not religious, what convinces you there is no God? I wouldn’t call myself religious, no. I do believe there’s some kind of ultimate power, but hell if I know what it is, and I don’t actually worship it. I don’t believe any “good” god would demand kissing its feet in order for you to end at peace, among a billion other reasons. I believe there is something though because the odds of life and everything is just… too perfect. Plus I believe in the paranormal, so to me, there is obviously something beyond the mortal form. Is there any animal out there that genuinely terrifies you? Is this an animal you’re worried about coming across in daily life? I am terrified of ticks and parasites in general. They’re fucking disgusting. Maggots will also make me scream. Oh, and then there’s whale sharks. In my daily life, I wouldn’t say there’s any that I actively worry about crossing paths with. When was the last time you wore make-up? Around Halloween when Summer, me, and another of her friends did a witch-themed photoshoot. It really fucking sucks that it was so dark by the time we were done that the pictures came out absolutely awful. You can’t see shit, and of course on camera, I look absolutely awful. Have you ever worn colored contacts? No, but I’m totally not opposed for a cool photoshoot. Have you seen any of the Disney re-makes (eg. Aladdin or The Lion King)? What do you think of them? I’ve seen a good number, and I really like them. I think The Jungle Book remake was the best of them. How long did it take you to pass your driving test once you started learning how to drive? Ha, I still haven’t tried. When was the last time you went out for a formal occasion or event? Do you remember what you wore? Uhhhh… I have zero clue. Well, does my last job interview count? I just wore black sweatpants and some kind of formal top. How often do you have the TV on? is it more background noise or are you actually watching things? Y’all know by now that I don’t watch TV. Do you like any songs by Elvis Presley? Well of course. “Devil In Disguise” is my favorite. Do you ever answer the phone to unknown numbers? Nope. Do you eat anything special for breakfast on Christmas Day? Nah. When you go to theme parks, what’s your favorite type of ride? I haven’t been to a theme park in beyond forever, so idk. Are you afraid of falling in love? Ohhhhh yes. Expecting something to change in the next month? No. e_e What is your biggest worry in life right now? That Mom’s cancer will come back. Well, it IS going to eventually flare somewhere else, but no one can estimate when. Could be tomorrow. Could be years. Do you give up easily? It depends. With a lot of things, honestly, yes, because I get upset with my incompetence. What are you listening to? "Going To Hell" by The Pretty Reckless just came on. Is anything bothering you right now? Always. Were you ever made fun of? Yes. Are you currently jealous? I’ve been having episodes of it. Do you find piercings attractive on the opposite sex? I find them attractive on almost all people. Who was the last person you yelled at? I don’t know. Probably Mom. What do you say a lot? “Mood,” “lmao,” “can’t relate,” “same,” “oof,” “yikes,” shit like that, haha. What is your favorite place you have traveled? Chicago. Do you like ice cream? Yeah, that’s my comfort food. Do you like bananas? Yeah, but I don’t dare to eat one if I haven’t had my heartburn medication, because otherwise I get it BADLY. Do you like Paramore? A handful of their songs, yeah. I don’t know a lot though, honestly. Do you plan on getting married? It’d be nice. Ever been given a promise ring? No. Sexual orientation? Bi. Who do you text the most? Definitely Sara. Do you still talk to the person who hurt you most in life? Why or why not? No, because he wants nothing to do with me. I don’t blame him. Have you ever given your number to a complete stranger? Um, no. Well, besides in like, job applications. What color is your keyboard? Black. Your mouse? Mostly black, but it does have this crackled pattern that can glow blue or red. Desktop or laptop? I prefer laptops for mobility’s sake. Do you like sweet tea? I hate tea. How much sugar do you put in your tea? ^ Have you ever called someone useless? Wow, no. Do you have a wood or glass dining room table? Wood. Do you tend to get attached easily? HOLY GOD OF FUCK, YES. Is Joe Jonas really hotter than Nick? I haven’t seen either in god knows how long, but I remember I thought Nick was very cute. Favorite flavor pudding? Chocolate is the only kind I’ve enjoyed. Not that I’ve tried a lot. What are three words used in your area/dialect that many other areas/dialects wouldn't be familiar with? Oh, there are most certainly some, but I can’t think of any right now. How do you feel when your partner is talking to an ex? This would depend on a lot of things. What is the most expensive gift you have ever given? Received? Given, I’m really unsure. I answer enough questions sharing that I don’t have my own source of income, so a lot of times, my mom lets me use her money, but there is obviously a ceiling to how much I can use. Received, definitely my Sager laptop Jason got me one year. Do children like you? I’m always surprised that kids seem to… I don’t know how the hell to interact with kids, but parents tend to tell me that they do like me. If you found your child's diary would you read it? What if you found the diary of one of your parents? Hell no would I read that shit. Both deserve privacy. Have you ever stalked or killed a wild animal? Fuck no. Name something you are now prepared to reveal about yourself that you weren't ready to talk about in the past? The state of my virginity. Name a talent someone has of which you are jealous: I am soooo envious of talented and actually successful photographers. What would you most likely complain about in a hotel? Probably if the bed sheets seemed dirty. Is it possible to be in love with more than one person at the same time? Probably. I’m monogamous though, so I really can’t say because I haven’t experienced this. Do you often feel pressured by others? Society, yes. Should couples live together before marriage? I feel that it’s the better decision, yes. You may not blend well actually sharing the same house. You learn things about your partner. How would you feel attending the wedding of an ex? It would depend on the person. Girt or Sara? I would love to. As a matter of fact, I better be invited lmao. Jason? I couldn’t in ten trillion years. Fiction or nonfiction. I strongly prefer fiction. Can you can lie with a straight face? Yes, if it’s something little. Name three things you have experienced that would shock your parents: Probably just sexual stuff. Do you believe in using the silent treatment? No. I’ve sure done it before, but I’d like to think I’ve grown out of this. Communication is where it’s at. Your most embarrassing thought: *shrug* Your most prejudiced thought: I don’t know. I don’t think I’m very prejudiced. A shameful moment for you: The situation w/ Joel. The biggest gamble of your life: Deciding to drop out of college the last time. Who knows if that was a good choice or not… It’s too early to tell. What is your greatest weakness as a friend? Idk off the top of my head, but I’m sure there’s something. Do you feel better when you have a tan? Nah, I like being pale. I did go through a period in HS of using tanning lotion on my legs though because I was self-conscious of JUST how pale they were. Do you sometimes enjoy being mean? ”I don’t think so. Maybe like... in certain contexts. Like being mean in video games can be really fun sometimes, haha. And being a little mean in a kink setting can be fun too.” <<<< This. Are you high maintenance? Definitely not. Has anybody ever told you that you’re too young to be in love? I think my dad has, just indirectly. Did you learn anything from the last BIG mistake you made? Yes. Do you have a favorite brand of shoes? Yeah, Converse. Do you like rollercoasters with big drops? I’m afraid of rollercoasters so have never been on one. Do you have any inside jokes with your parents? Not really. Have you ever thrown a surprise party for somebody? I don’t think so? Do you know who your mom’s favorite singer is? Oh, she’s totally obsessed with James Hetfield/Metallica. What year were you born in? 1996. What is your favorite card game? Magic: The Gathering, even though I was never great at it or totally understood all the rules. I just adore the artwork, and I like the detailed tactics behind it. Have you ever tried to surf? Nah. Do you want to learn? Nah. Have you ever had a song dedicated to you? What was it? Let’s not with this. What color eyes does your best friend have? Brown. Have you ever been on a blind date? Nah. Which one of your family members do you wish you could see more often? My brother and his son. I got really close to my nephew the last time they visited for a few days. What room in your house is the messiest? Right now, the extra bedroom that I want to make my dayroom. A lot of our “extra” stuff is just shoved into there. Have you ever requested a song on the radio? No. Are you proud of your parents? Yes. Have you ever (accidentally or not) set off a car alarm? I think I accidentally have before. Do you have dimples when you smile? Yes, way more prominently on my left cheek though. Do you find graveyards scary? No. They’re peaceful to me. Have you ever carved anything into a tree? I don’t think so. Do you read those celebrity gossip magazines? Ew, no. Celebs deserve privacy. Do you give or get advice more often? Well considering I’m in therapy, probably get. Did the last type of shoes you wore have laces? No. Do you like the picture on your license/I.D. card? FUCK no. When was the last time somebody hit on you? Idr. Which one of your friends do you feel most comfortable around? Sara. What’s your favorite Thanksgiving food? Just pass me the rolls lmao. Who did you last spoon with? My cat lmao. What was the last video game you played? I don’t recall the last console game I played, so does World of Warcraft count, even tho it’s a computer game? When you’re in trouble, do your parents ever “middle name” you? Ha, my mom will sometimes. Does getting sweaty or dirty bother you at all? If so, has it ever put you off doing exercise? Very much so. I suffer (and I DO mean “suffer”) from insane hyperhidrosis, so I sweat my ass off if I so much as twitch, if even that. I just hate feeling gross. Have you ever thought about how you want to spend your retirement? No, honestly. It’s hard for me to imagine even *getting* to retirement. Would you describe yourself as healthy? Why or why not? No. I’m physically and even more mentally not okay. Do you miss anything about being a teenager? If you are a teenager, what’s your favorite thing about it? Yeah, some things. Though I really don’t even want to think about it. I look back on me being a teen with both wistfulness as well as bitterness. I don’t know which is stronger.

#survey #surveys #quiz #questions #questionnaire #lyrics: ''welcome home (sanitarium)'' by metallica

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bluepenguinstories · 4 years ago

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Remoras Full Chapter XVII: Starry Night

What a wonderful thing humanity was! Such a grounded reality, where a human could look down and see dirt. Upward, that same human could see the sky. Beautiful and mystifying, day and night. Many sights awaited humanity, and even without sight, there was always something new to learn just around the corner.

That was why I was so glad to be human.

Many a day was spent on two legs, one foot in front of the other and a prayer every now and then. Such steps brought me to places with dirt roads, brick roads, sand, and roads with black, pressed stone and strange objects scattered around. Every road, every pathway, had such interesting things to see. Strange and beautiful sights to learn more about; tall brick and stone buildings. Straw and wood, ceramic tiles. Little signs written in languages I didn’t know, but would loved to have learned. Yet I never did. I continued to walk.

Each place I passed through had their own smells, aromas. Foul and sweet scents alike. I passed through gardens with beautiful shapes of petaled plants in colors I didn’t know the names of. Bright and dim alike, twists and turns. Little creatures which flew and crawled onto those plants. Moments would pass where I wondered if I could learn to be one of those little creatures, if I wasn’t already human. Learning all I could about what I was, that brought me greater fulfillment than anything else I took in.

Where I found myself was in a land of layered frost and soft, dew-filled grass. There were little bodies of water scattered about and the silhouette of a shimmering star in the sky. Deep breaths escaped from my mouth, and the rigid air drew its way in.

“Amen,” I whisked the word into the air once the image of a long, metallic structure came into view. Its doors were open and my sense of wonder took over as one step over the other, I found my way inside.

One step, then the next. That same process, repeated, until I found a room in which humans dwelt. My eyes orbited those still shapes in front of me, those same shapes that were so similar, and yet different to mine. Sprawled out, their eyes closed, and little movement or sound save for faint hints of breathing. I didn’t know what they were doing, but I wanted to learn.

One human – Aurora, (or Eos, but not Dawn, as I came to know her), was the first to open her eyes. I didn’t learn what she and the other two humans were up to. For all I knew, they could have been praying, just as I did, only in longer bursts.

Aurora taught me some wonderful things about being a human. There was still much more to learn, and I felt that the knowledge and experiences I gained was only a fraction of a series of other fractions of a whole when it came to human experience. Each new observation granted me a gift, and I couldn’t await for the next gift to arrive.

Which it did, in the form of a brave soul in the shape of someone with a similar stature as myself. She called herself “Tigershark,” a peculiar name, but as far as names went, all came with their own interesting origin. I was no exception.

If I had to have a theory on humans and names, it was that I had a name because people had to have a name. Like some prerequisite for existing. Whether one gives it to another, or one gives it to themselves, it appeared it was a necessary application. But then, the possibility of meeting someone without a name was a fascinating thought as well.

As for when that day would come, I didn’t know. Where I found myself a little after meeting Tigershark was not the spot I had stayed in for days, and instead was a place called a ‘diner’.

Everyone I knew from the Aurora Borealis Bandits was there, having wonderful conversations with one another. Aurora B herself, was slouched over her seat and her legs were up on top of the table. She and a few of her friends, (I believe their names were Alan, Ivan? Isaac? Ismark? Oh, there I was, forgetting names so soon even though I knew the importance of a name. The third one was Ezmeralda, that I knew) were huddled together and singing songs in unison. Aurora strummed on a little ukulele whilst doing so.

“Mama, just killed a maaaan –” Aurora started.

“– Mama, we all go to hell,” the rest sang after her, then she strummed real hard on her ukulele.

“Put a gun up to his head, pulled the trigger now he’s de-e-a-d,” she continued. Then more frantic strumming. I stood up and walked over so I could observe the others.

Aside from Aurora, her crew, and Tigershark, the others who occupied the diner were unknown variables. Earlier, when there was a great commotion outside, I caught a glimpse of the new faces: one stood tall and muscular beside the train with Tigershark. Another was shorter and held a knife. The last was someone else, similar to the first person in terms of size and shape, and held a long gun in her arms, aimed at one of those fascinating creatures.

At the moment, she sat at the far end of the diner, slumped over with her head rested on her arms. The purpose of doing so eluded me. There were few traits I could infer from her, but I was excited to learn more, as there was always something to learn from each human I met.

I tugged at her sleeve. She looked over and had a confused or curious look about her.

“What? Are you going to ask me if you know me from somewhere? That I look familiar to you?” Her voice was like a low groan, but it didn’t sound bad at all. I smiled and turned my head from one end to the other. For whatever reason she asked me that, I answered her with the only way I knew how.

“Quite the opposite. I find you interesting because you are new and I don’t know you yet,” I closed my eyes as I spoke. “Amen.”

“That’s just as bad. Trust me, it’s better not to know about me,” I believe her reply was also in earnest.

“It will be difficult not to be aware of your existence now that I have seen you, but if what you say is true, then I thank you for teaching me something so fascinating. Amen.”

I walked away and to my side I could see an outline of her, with her head turned, and mouthed the word “what.”

Tigershark was in the kitchen. It was the place where she made food. In time, I would like to be taught. Food was a fascinating thing, and even more so that someone would cook it. I didn’t know why humans ate, but it was a fun enough task every now and then.

One of the new faces had a small sheet of paper and a pen. She was the short one I spotted with the knife. Just a little taller in stature than me, and her hair was wavy green. When she spoke, she didn’t really sound very interested in the questions she asked. I found that most interesting.

“What will you be having?” She asked Aurora.

Aurora slammed her cup on the table and laughed herself into a wild fit.

“Another beer, for one! And this is a diner, right? Then how about some biscuits and grits? Sausage? Pancakes? I want it all!”

Those words I didn’t know, but in the context of the setting, I assumed they were food.

“Yeah. Sure. Just so you know, since there’s not a price for anything, you’ll be paying for the meal with the money you guys stole from us,” she informed them.

“What are you doing?” I asked her. She turned to me and looked startled. Frightened, even.

“I’m just taking people’s orders. Can I take yours?” She explained, and then I understood.

“So you’re part of her crew, too? And you wish to serve her?” I sought to confirm. However, her reaction was one that most surprised me; she leaned her head back and gave a look as if I said something most foul.

“No, if I were to want to serve anyone, it would be Re – forget it.” She walked off in a huff. Aurora called after her.

“Yeah, how ‘bout it, Demetria? Why don’t you ditch that loser Remora and join our crew? You’d have much more fun with us! It’d be more fulfilling, too!”

I looked over to the one who had ‘taken their orders’. Who Aurora called ‘Demetria’. She lowered her head and I heard her mutter something like “I just want to do my job.”

For the time being, I let her be. After all, there was one other who I felt compelled to introduce myself to.

At a booth right next to Aurora sat the tall strong lady who threw punches. I didn’t have to walk at all to interact with her.

“Y’know, now that you aren’t robbing from us, you ain’t half bad!” Her voice boomed and I swore when she smiled that I could see all of her teeth in full view. I didn’t quite know what it was humans needed teeth for, but the same could be said for any other creature. Why did some have tails? Why did a tree have limbs? There were little things that I might have been best not knowing.

“You either, Sunny! Speaking of, I’d be down for a fight sometime!” Aurora replied. “I’d love to see which of us is stronger!”

Rather than stand in place and ponder such a thing, I went for the option which would yield the most immediate answer: I crawled up on the booth and waved my hand in front of the woman’s face. She leaned back and let out a gasp. For what reason, I didn’t know.

Then, her apparent surprise turned to a smile.

“Oh hey! You’re Tigershark’s new friend, right? Astro, was it?”

I stared at her. I didn’t know what an ‘Astro’ was.

“No…” I whispered. “It wasn’t Astro. But perhaps it can be.”

“Hey, Astraea, what did I tell you about sneaking up on people like that?” Aurora scolded me.

It pained me to admit that I couldn’t remember if she had told me anything about sneaking up on people. If she did, it was probably something like, “only sneak up on people if you plan on stealing from them.”

I was in a little bit of a daze, as I struggled to remember what it was Aurora taught me, when the warm glow of Sunny’s voice pulled me away from my pondering.

“Aha! Astraea, right?” She snapped her fingers as she smiled her bright smile.

“Yes,” I looked down and smiled. “That is what I am called. Because as a human, I must have a name.”

What was but a simple statement on my part caused her to let out a chuckle, then a hiccup.

“Yeah, I suppose that’s how it works, huh?” She replied.

“And you? You are Sunny?”

“I am! Just a big ol’ sunflower!”

I nodded. “So you are a human sunflower. Interesting.”

I crawled back down. I could have stood in place and watched Sunny and Aurora have fun. I was already well aware that as soon as Aurora agreed to return to the diner, she and Sunny got along quite well and relayed tales of their exploits to each other. Then there was the drinking contests, which made me wonder if the reason people drank liquids was to compete with one another. After, there was the singing.

Rather than find out what fun the two could have next, a weary voice rang through my ears. My ears perked up and I turned to face the owner of said voice.

“You’re Astraea, right?” Demetria called toward me, less in an urgent manner and more of a groan. “Are you Aurora’s daughter?”

I sat down and gave it some thought. Maybe I could have given an answer if I knew the meaning of the word ‘daughter’.

“Maybe I am,” I replied, the words sailed off from my mouth.

Aurora then burst into laughter and slammed her cup back onto the table.

“Yeah!” She declared, and a grin had made its way onto her face. “I wouldn’t be surprised, anyway!”

“Oh, I don’t see the resemblance!” Sunny remarked. “But that’s okay! I’m sure you’re a good mom!”

“Nah! She ain’t my kid!” Aurora waved her hand away.

“Maybe I’m everyone’s daughter…” I considered.

Sunny, with her arm slung over the top of the booth called over to Demetria.

“Say hun, why’d you think Astraea was Aurora’s daughter?”

That too was an answer I was eager to hear.

“Because, Aurora is the Roman equivalent of the Greek goddess Eos, who had many children, one of them being Astraea,” Demetria explained. Then she added, as if an afterthought, “my mom’s big into that stuff so she used to tell me those things against my will.”

“Ha! So that’s your problem, huh? You’re getting fiction and reality mixed up!” Aurora roared her response, then turned back into laughter. But maybe I thought I heard, whether she said it aloud or I imagined it, “then again, crazy how Eos was my birth name.”

“Right. I know what’s fiction. I just thought it was too much of a coincidence,” came Demetria’s reply.

“ORDER’S UP!” Rumbled the thundrous voice of a Tigershark from the vicinity of the kitchen. Demetria got up from her seat and let out a heavy sigh.

“That’s my cue,” she mumbled.

I watched as she headed toward the kitchen. Her head was lowered and it was only for a brief moment when she was almost at her destination that she glanced in the direction of another: the one at the far end who told me that it was better not to know her. But that glance came and went and she lowered her head once more.

“Perhaps fiction can also be reality,” I thought aloud.

“You know what? I’ve thought the same thing at times,” Sunny stated. I caught her fixated on the cup in her hands as she swayed it from one end to the other. “How the past is just a fabrication of reality, and so is the future. But while the present is the closest thing to reality we have, we don’t get to hold onto it for very long.”

Those words...I really did learn something new!

“Amen,” I replied.

“Ha! You’re drunk!” Aurora told Sunny.

“Yes, that I am,” Sunny’s voice in that moment reminded me of my own. She smiled, and her head swayed just like she swayed her cup.

After that mysterious creature ran off, I had no more reason to be outside, and thus, I went back into the train and sat in the spot where I stayed.

It would have been a lie to say I wasn’t at least a little bit curious about what was going on outside, but I was satisfied just to know there was still so much out there to learn. Tigershark was a pleasant surprise, so were those creatures, and so then, what else would I be surprised by?

As it turned out, much. When Aurora returned, she stopped by my spot and informed me of something most grand.

“Just so you know, not that it really affects you, but we’re going back to that diner. It just so happens that no one in my crew knows how to cook –”

“Do you?” I asked.

“– Don’t interrupt me! Anyway, as I was saying, no one in my crew knows how to cook, and that kid, loathe as I am to admit, does. So we’re gonna make her feed us again, even if that means going back to that place

“I wish you the best of luck,” I told her. Just as I often did.

So the train moved once again. Headed toward the place known as a ‘diner’. I didn’t know what that was, but I knew Tigershark came from such a place, and Tigershark may already be there by the time we got there. I became overwhelmed with a feeling of excitement.

Once the train stopped once more and I saw everyone run out, that feeling only grew. Yes, I could stay in the same spot where I always sat, or I could find out what was inside such a place. The answer became clear, and I picked myself up, whispered a little prayer to myself, and put one foot in front of the other.

Soon each step on the metallic surface changed to the soft soil of the outside world. Then, I crossed the threshold once more, through the door of what had been referred to as a ‘diner’. Upon opening the door, the wind invited itself in along with me, and I couldn’t help but be carried with it, a cool chill against my hair. With it, I was gifted with a smile upon my face.

There was a smell in the air, of burnt logs and the aroma of cooked food. Overpowering it was the sound of chatter between the Aurora Borealis Bandits and the one who I came to know as Sunny.

Right behind the table where Aurora and a few members of her crew sat was the one who had pointed that weapon on the poor creature. Just like she would continue to be, her head was on her hands, with the rest of her leaned over the table.

“So the bank manager was all, ‘we’re call the authorities’ and then I shot the phone out of his hand and declared, ‘I’ll be the authority on that one!’ You should’ve seen his face! Ha!” Aurora boasted.

“Oh dear, that reminds me of Ray and I’s third anniversary. We really didn’t expect that mansion to have such high security!” Sunny recalled.

The whole crew laughed along.

“Sunny, you must do something about these guys,” the slumped one groaned. “They’re really quite a bother. Need I remind you they already stole from us?”

“Oh ho ho! I get it! You’re one of those dark and brooding types!” Aurora, rather than Sunny, responded.

“That’s not it. I just don’t like noisy people…”

“You need to get a grip! Live a little! We’re already going to give you guys back your goods, so lighten up!” Aurora smiled ear to ear, something which I hadn’t seen from her in quite some time.

“Ugh…” Growled the serious one.

So far it seemed like no one had noticed me. That wasn’t a problem for me, as I often liked to be the silent observer more than anything else.

Then I spotted Tigershark, who walked over to the subdued dark haired lady.

“What’s wrong?” Tigershark asked her.

“I’m fine. I just don’t like high energy or noisy people, and right now there’s a lot of it. It gets to me. I’ve always been this way. Whenever I’d go to a tavern, I’d try to sit as far away from everyone else. For the most part, it worked, but every so often someone would try to approach me and that was the worst thing,” the woman told Tigershark. It seemed they had a sort of connection.

“Why aren’t you doing that now, then? You can just move seats,” Tigershark told her, and then the woman looked up and looked around.

“I forgot that was an option…” Then she sighed and added, “I think I wanted to give being near others a try, but no, I can’t do it.”

Tigershark moved over and I saw the woman shift in her seat and get up, then walked over to the far end of the room and sat down there. I watched as she went right back to the same position she was in before, as if nothing had changed aside from her placement.

I intended to speak with each new face and learn as much as I could about their lives as humans, but for the time being, I sat and allowed everything to go on. As if nothing would have changed whether I was there or not.

Of course, when Demetria returned with the food Aurora ordered, everyone was well aware of my presence. Well, almost everyone.

I watched as Aurora shoveled food into her mouth. Yes, I saw her chew and swallow, as well. Just as she had taught me so long ago. Amen. Then, Tigershark emerged from out of the kitchen and ran over to me.

“Hey! I didn’t know you’d be here, too, Astraea!” Tigershark’s excitement could be heard through her voice.

I stood back up.

“I am!” I replied, and then she went up to me and put her arms around me. Surprised, I asked her what she was doing.

“It’s a hug!” She told me.

I closed my eyes and smiled.

“I see. How interesting.”

Tigershark let go and a joyous expression remained on her face.

“It’s good to see you again!”

I nodded. “And you. Amen.”

Sunny then turned toward me and she seemed fixed on an earlier subject.

“Say, Astraea? Did your parents name you, or did you give yourself that name?” Sunny inquired.

“Neither. It means ‘starry night’.”

“Oh, like the painting!”

“I’m sorry,” I informed her. “I don’t know what that is.”

“Oh, well, it’s like a drawing, except like...hmm...I don’t know if I’m sober enough to explain.”

I nodded.

“Well, anyway,” the dilemma of explanation appeared to have been mended. “How did you come about such a name?”

Ah. I believed I understood at last.

“The first utterance of such a name…” I closed my eyes as I focused on the recollection. “It must have been about a few thousand years ago. Not my first memory as a human, but early on in my existence. I had wandered into a town late at night, and someone ran up to me and asked what I was doing out so late at night. I didn’t understand what they meant, so I told them, in their language, that I was walking. They then asked who I was, and so I pointed at the night sky. There was an audible gasp, and then they said ‘Astraea’.”

“Wait, hold up –” Aurora leaned forward. “What’s this about thousands of years? I thought you’ve only been around for 18!”

I nodded. “They have not been sequential years.”

Aurora scrunched up her face and shook her head. “Never mind, I think I’m too drunk to understand!”

“Well,” Sunny leaned forward, still interested. “I may be drunk, but I’d like to know what you mean.”

“It’s simple: some years I’ve existed in have been far ahead, while others, far behind. I’ve visited the 19th century, and the 15th, and now I am here.”

“I see! I think if I got to experience years that way, I’d love to make plenty of memories.”

“Do you not?” I wondered. “Isn’t that how it is for humans?”

To my surprise, she shook her head.

“Not for any that I know, no.”

“I see. How do you experience them?”

“Well, let’s say...there’s this year, then the next year is this one, plus one, and I’m there that year, too. As long as I’m still alive next year, anyway. I was here the year before, too.”

Her explanation was intriguing but as a human, I had to abide.

“I see. Then the next year for you will be the next year for me as well.”

“Cool!” She made her fingers into a weird shape. Like a sideways L. “Can’t wait!”

But those words made no sense. She would have to wait. As would I if I were to experience life the way any other human did.

Tigershark then blinked and looked over.

“Hey, is Demetria okay?” She asked us all. Or maybe just Sunny. For I knew that I had no answer to her question.

Sunny looked over as well, but just like Demetria earlier with that dark haired woman, it was more of a quick glance.

“I don’t know, kiddo,” she told Tigershark. “She’s just been like that since she woke up. Why don’t you try asking her yourself?”

“OK!” Tigershark grinned and ran over to the table where Demetria had chosen to sit at. I followed Tigershark as I wished to learn more as well.

She sat in much the same way that the other one at the opposite end sat; except in Demetria’s case, her face was buried into her arms, so all that could be seen of her head was her hair.

“Hello! Earth to Demetria!” Tigershark leaned in close and yelled when she could have just whispered.

“She is already on Earth, along with us,” I informed Tigershark.

“No, it’s an expression!” Tigershark corrected me.

“A smile is an expression. So is a frown.”

“That’s just what people call it! I don’t know why, either!”

Demetria lifted her head just a little.

“What do you guys want?” She asked in that same weary voice I heard from her earlier. “No one wants to order anything right now, do they? Can’t I take a break?”

“Of course, but I’m worried about you,” Tigershark replied.

“Why? What do you have to worry about? You’re just a kid.”

Tigershark puffed up her cheeks and scowled. Because of the image, I wanted to laugh, but I didn’t.

“So what? Tell me what’s wrong!”

Demetria set her head back down and although muffled, I heard her say:

“Isn’t it obvious? I wanted to help out, and I thought I was doing a good job, too, but…”

“I can’t hear you,” Tigershark told her.

To that, Demetria shifted her head to the side, so that one eye and half of her nose poked through.

“What does it matter? Can’t I be a burden in peace?”

“If I don’t get to, neither do you,” Tigershark crossed her arms as she gave her response.

That made Demetria scowl as well.

“Look, it was all going fine until I fainted. All because I saw something that no one else saw, probably because it wasn’t there. No, it wasn’t just that. I freaked out when I shouldn’t have. I made a fool of myself like I always do and let Remora down and because of that, Sunny had to carry me back.”

“Remora?” I asked. I heard that word once before, from Aurora, but I didn’t ask then.

Tigershark pointed over to the dark haired woman at the other end of the diner.

“She’s the one way over there!” Tigershark told me. “She’s not bad, but a little weird sometimes.”

I nodded. So that was the name assigned to her. Remora.

“Do you think she’s mad at you?” Tigershark asked Demetria.

“Wouldn’t blame her if she was,” Demetria muttered.

“I’ll go ask her!”

“Don’t do that,” Demetria told Tigershark. But by then, Tigershark had already walked off.

“Damn it,” she shook her head. “I was hoping not to be an embarrassment for at least a little while.”

I didn’t know what that meant, but I decided to follow Tigershark. Before I made it very far, I heard Demetria say.

“Just what are you, really?”

I didn’t know if it was addressed to me or another. Since I didn’t know for sure, I chose not to answer.

Although Tigershark was further ahead than me, I heard the exchange before I could make it over. As quiet or loud as it was, noise carries far. Like the creak of a floorboard, or the howls of the wind.

“Demetria thinks you’re mad at her,” Tigershark initiated the conversation.

“Why would she think that? It’s true she can be annoying sometimes, as well as confusing, but she’s not bad enough to warrant anger,” Remora’s voice had hints of confusion, as well.

“Because she fainted!”

“I’m not mad. I just think she should have prepared better.”

“She said she saw something that no one else saw, too!”

“Yes, I didn’t see what she described. I’m not sure what that was about, either. One possible explanation could be that the extreme temperatures made her hallucinate, but other strange things have been happening. Like those creatures. So I don’t want to dismiss her claims outright unless I know for sure that it was nothing.”

“So you mean...um…?” Tigershark didn’t seem to understand. Indeed, there were a few things I didn’t as well. Few, or many.

“I’m frustrated that I don’t fully understand, but I’m not mad. That’s all.”

“What about you?” Tigershark asked, and I saw her hands balled into fists, as if the answer was of an urgent matter.

“What do you mean?” Answered Remora. Wise answer, indeed.

“Are you good? You look down, too!”

“I’m just the same as I always am. I just look this way when I sit, I guess.”

“Oh yeah! That’s true!”

Tigershark then ran toward me.

“Good news, Astraea! Remora said she’s not mad!”

“Yes, I heard,” I let her know.

“Let’s go tell Demetria!”

We headed back. Lucky for us, Demetria hadn’t moved at all from where she sat.

“Remora told me she’s not mad!” Tigershark delivered the news.

Demetria lifted her head and sat up. She still didn’t look too happy for what should have been great news. Her eyes were half open and she didn’t smile.

“Thanks, but I can’t help but feel like I let her down,” she said at last.

“You didn’t,” I assured her. For that, I was certain.

“How do you figure?” She asked me.

“Because you didn’t pick her up. You first have to lift someone up in order to let them down.”

Demetria put her palm up to her face and shook her head.

“I don’t know why I bothered,” she groaned. Then, it looked like a struggle to do so, but she managed something of a smile. “Still, if anyone’s going to lift anyone up, I’d want it to be her lifting me.”

“Yay! You’re dumb again!” Tigershark cheered. “Er...I mean funny!”

“What?!” Demetria spat out. “Whatever, at this point I’ll take it.”

“I like you more when you say silly things!”

“I’m not really trying most of the time, it just comes out that way.”

Then, all three of us looked around. Well, I looked around because the other two were.

“By the way, where did Remora go?” Demetria asked.

“Probably back to her room,” Tigershark answered. “She said she doesn’t really it when it’s noisy.”

“I see. So some people don’t like it when there’s a lot of noise,” I noted. As long as there was more to learn in my current setting, I had no reason to depart.

��Can’t say I blame her,” Demetria said as well. “If I didn’t have to be out here as part of my job, I’d probably be in my room right now with my headphones in and chilling to some orchestral music.”

“By the way, what did you see earlier?” Tigershark asked Demetria. In response, Demetria’s eyes widened and she opened her mouth, but then shook her head.

“It doesn’t really matter. There probably wasn’t anything there.”

For what it was worth, I felt a few words of encouragement come to me, and I just had to dispense them.

“Don’t worry, I believe you saw something,” I told her.

“You do?”

“Yes,” I closed my eyes and smiled. “Because I don’t know everything that humans are capable of seeing.”

“...How do I keep falling for this?”

I walked about the room. There was still much more to take in. Few details of the diner stuck to me. Perhaps I could focus once more on the fog on the windows, how the glass had cracks in a few places. Or how the ceiling lamps which hung above each table were covered in cobwebs. There was also the smoothness of the floor, and how clean everything looked, despite the mess underneath Aurora’s table, as well as a few spots underneath other tables.

But no. Despite how fascinating it all was, I just couldn’t focus on what made it what it was. So I elected once more to sit in the middle of the room.

After a while of commotion, Aurora and her gang decided it was time to head off. I heard, but I dare not move. During the time when everyone had their fun, I had given some thought to a few things.

“Hey, aren’t you coming with us?” Aurora called.

I shook my head.

“I appreciate all that I have experienced with you guys, but I feel that I must venture elsewhere in order to learn more.”

“Fine by me, but I’ll sure miss having a good luck charm around!”

Those were her parting words. As for me…

I was ready to walk out the door and see where my own two feet would take me, but I was stopped by Sunny.

“Are you sure you want to go out there right now? It’s pretty cold out. Plus you never know when a blizzard might hit.”

I smiled.

“As long as I continue to pray and move one step in front of the other, I will be fine. Amen.”

Demetria was also next to Sunny and she asked me a question as well:

“Are you religious or something? What’s with always saying ‘amen’?”

Ah. Something which I could answer.

“My first memory as a human was seeing someone praying. I didn’t know why they did it, but it looked fun. After they said their prayer, they said ‘amen’. So, I figured that must be something humans do.”

“Not really. I mean, certain people do that, but they don’t do it like you do. Do you believe in a god or something?”

“I know no god,” nor did I know what one was.

“Well, maybe it’s better that way, I guess,” Demetria shrugged.

“Why is that?”

Demetria didn’t seem to have a good answer, but then said, “well, I guess it’s fine either way. Besides, you already share the same name as a goddess.”

“I don’t know what that is, either. Are those human things?”

“Err…” Again, Demetria struggled. “In a way? Also, why do you keep saying ‘human’ so much?”

“Because I am one,” I answered. “Amen.”

She shook her head. “For some reason, I’m not really sure about that one…”

Sunny put her finger on her chin and looked up, then said at last:

“Whatever you are, I still think you should stay the night here. Maybe the weather will be better tomorrow?”

Yes. That might have been wise. Or it may not have been. I didn’t know what good or bad weather was. I only saw different weather. Rain, sun, hail, snow, wind. Such nice scenery they produced, but I didn’t see what made them different from one another aside from aesthetic. Still, I put my hands together and decided to pray for my answer.

After a few seconds of silence, I said “amen” and then told her:

“It’s been decided. I must be fated to stay for tonight.”

“Good! I think that’s for the best!” Sunny grinned. Demetria, however…

“Where would she even sleep? I don’t want her in my room.”

Ah, a mysterious word.

“What is sleep?” I asked them.

“I ask myself the same question sometimes,” Sunny laughed.

“Tell me about it,” Demetria added. “Well, g’night. I’m gonna enjoy the silence of my room.”

So I was left alone with Sunny. Tigershark was somewhere. Not where I was. Maybe in another room.

“Where is Tigershark?” I asked Sunny.

“Oh, she’s probably with Remora. They share a room together,” she explained to me.

“I see.”

“As for you, you can stay the night with me, if you want. We’ve got a big bedroom upstairs.”

“There are stairs?” I pondered. Yes. I knew what those were.

“Yeah, c’mon! Follow me!”

So I did, and through a door in the back of the diner was a hallway. Through that hallway, there was a couple of chairs, as well as a desk. But as I looked around, I was at a crossroads.

“Aren’t you coming?” Sunny asked, and I looked over. She had chosen the path on the left.

On the far end of that path was a flight of stairs. Sunny opened a hatch on the ceiling, and then we ascended. Where we emerged was a large room with lots of objects all around the room. Boxes and dresser drawers, shapes of several things covered up by sheets and curtains. There was a dim glow to the room, and on a small dresser was a lamp. When I looked ahead back to those covered objects, I thought I caught a glimpse of darkness in the distance.

Next to the lamp was a thing called a bed, with four stakes on each end and a curtain over it. I remembered what a bed was because Aurora was in one when I met her. Although the purpose of such a thing eluded me.

“Here,” Sunny pulled out an object from underneath the bed: it looked like a caterpillar made of cloth, with a zipper in the middle.

“What is that?” I asked her.

“A sleeping bag,” she told me.

I still didn’t understand what the bag did.

“Can I sit on it?” I asked.

“Uh, sure? Go ahead. Anyway, good night.”

“That it is,” I agreed.

Sunny went into the bed and she laid down, a ritual which I never quite understood, other than it must have been a human thing.

“I may wander around,” I let Sunny know, just in case it were to happen. She might have wanted me to stay put, but I didn’t know if I had it in me to do so.

“Mm. Got some kind of wanderlust?” Her voice seemed to soften as she spoke.

I didn’t know how to answer. That was fine as well.

True to the information I gave her, after an unknown amount of time, I departed from Sunny and made my way back down the stairs. The halls had darkened. Each room I passed, I tried to open the door. One of the doors would not open, as if a spell had been put upon it. But, on the right end of the hallway was a door which did open, as doors often did.

Inside was Tigershark in a ‘sleeping bag’ as Sunny called it. Beside her was a bed, somewhat less fancy, but no less large, and the occupant was Remora. Both of the two had their eyes closed.

“I wonder what they are doing. Perhaps they are praying,” I whispered into the still air of the room. “Amen.”

I walked a few steps closer and sat down next to Tigershark. There was a faint sound of breaths. Inhale, then exhale. As for her face, I leaned my head closer to it until my gaze was directly over her. My eyes were wide and full of wonder. I knew patience. I knew silence. But I didn’t know what she was doing, so I kept my position and waited for her to tell me.

Much time passed yet, and at last, her eyes opened. Wide as well, and she let out a gasp, then sat up.

“Oh, it’s just you, Astraea,” Tigershark spoke through a strange exhalation as she made patting motions against her mouth. “I had a dream there was a big scary monster staring at me, but now I’m not really sure what it looked like.”

I tilted my head ever so slight.

“Dream?” I asked. “What is that?”

“You know, like when you sleep and things happen, but not really,” she explained.

“I see.” Although I still had yet to know what sleep was.

“Anyway, what are you doing here? I thought you would have left with those bad guys.”

I shook my head. “I was asked to stay. So I am here.”

“Oh, okay. And what were you doing next to me?”

“I was wondering what you were doing,” I answered.

“I was just sleeping.”

Before I could ask what that was, I heard a shift in the bed next to me, then a low growl.

“What are you doing in here?” Spoke the voice, and I looked up. Remora sat up with a gun pointed at me.

“I was watching Tigershark sleep,” I told her.

“Get out. Now.”

I nodded and obliged as I departed the room. Behind me, I could hear a conversation between Tigershark and Remora play out:

“What was that for?!”

“That thing could have been dangerous.”

“She’s not! She’s my friend! She just got curious! She wouldn’t hurt anyone!”

“You don’t know that. You need to be more cautious.”

While I found the conversation interesting, I didn’t have much of a comment for it. Danger...I knew what that meant, or at least what it entailed. Without any example of it, however, all I could say was that danger was unknown to me.

I decided to take my stroll back up the stairs and I sat until dawn. If there was anything I was disappointed by, it was not having the concept of ‘sleep’ explained to me.

Aurora, Eos. No. Neither of those.

Dawn arrived. Such a brightness leaked through every corner of the room which I occupied, alongside Sunny. The sun and the dawn, how one always followed the other, but in which order, I wasn’t sure of.

Rather than wait for Sunny, I descended the stairs on my own. I’ve come to understand that at times, humans had a routine which they practiced depending on the time of day. Through that hall, into the middle path which once I opened the door at the end of it, I would be brought back into the diner. Before I opened the door, or before I chose to, I heard the voices of Demetria and Remora from the other side.

“I’m telling you, there’s something off about her! I don’t know what, but I just can’t shake this feeling!” Demetria’s tone of voice was as if she were descending a mountain.

“Is this a concern for you, or is this just an excuse to talk to me?” Remora asked.

“Does it matter?”

“Well, even if it’s nothing, I have to admit, seeing her in my room last night disturbed me.”

“Whoa, really?”

I opened the door at last and before I looked in the direction of the two, I studied the floor. Their pattern, like a few of the windows; little cracks, either for decoration, or from being worn down. I wondered what it was about it that made it look so clean in spite of that. Without an answer, I looked back up and toward them, and waved.

“Hello, you two,” I greeted, the frost in my voice spread throughout the room.

Remora got up and reached into her pocket. She pulled something out of it, some kind of circular object.

“Oh, good idea! Scan her with the thing just like you did with me when I returned from that mansion!”

Remora gave a short nod, then poked the object. After a short interval of time, her face stretched to a look of shock.

“What? What is it?” Demetria asked her.

“It’s...I don’t know,” Remora shook her head.

“What do you mean?!”

“This device is mainly for detecting if someone has been infected with a cosmic entity. However, I don’t detect anything of the sort on this thing called ‘Astraea’. That said...I don’t detect anything else, either.”

“Meaning?”

“She’s not an infected human, so there may not be a threat, but at the same time...I don’t think she’s human. Rather, it’s like there’s nothing in front of me.”

I smiled.

“Perhaps your object does not detect humans?” I suggested.

Remora shook her head.

“It would at least show the shape of...something,” she put the object back into her pocket. “For the time being, you don’t seem to pose a threat.”

“It seems that as a human, you too have much more to learn,” I assured her. “Fret not, for so do I. Amen.”

“Maybe it’s that my device only shows someone or something infected by a cosmic entity, but not the entity itself,” she sounded unsure of herself. Conflicted. That, or stubborn.

“I don’t know what a cosmic entity is,” I told her, then I spun around. “I just know what I have learned.”

“It would be bad news if you were.”

Then Demetria also looked in a bit of a panic.

“I forgot! I gotta sweep and mop the floors! And I haven’t even had breakfast yet! Yikes!”

She ran off and I wished to observe. However, my chance at observation would have to wait, as Tigershark emerged from the back.

“Hey! Good to see you again!” She greeted me.

I turned around.

“Could you tell me what sleep is now?” I asked her.

“Um...it’s like...you lay down and close your eyes and after a while you’re not awake?” She made her attempt at an explanation. It was a good one, yet…

“What is ‘awake’?” I asked next.

“It’s like, what we are right now?” She didn’t seem to grasp the concept well. It would seem I would have to find another to ask at some point.

“Say, what would you like for breakfast?” Tigershark asked me.

“Breakfast?”

“Like, food?”

“Yes. Food is interesting. Do you have anything with apples?”

“Uh...I can make an apple pie? But that takes all day.”

“I can be patient,” I assured her.

There were no visitors throughout the day. No new faces. At one point, Demetria commented on it.

“You know, I’m pretty sure Aurora didn’t return all of our money,” she put her hands on her hips and let out a sigh. Tigershark, right behind her, said instead:

“Yeah, but she paid for her food and drinks! That still means we made money!”

“If we didn’t get all of our stuff back, I’m pretty sure that’s a loss for us,” Demetria countered.

Ah, I wondered about Aurora and her gang, myself. Wondered what they were up to at the moment, and where they might end up next. I too wondered that, as I felt the urge to wander into new lands call for me. But before that, I was offered a slice of apple pie.

The taste was like apples, but there was a sweetness to it, and a liquid substance which leaked out from my mouth. The same process applied as with an apple – take a bite, chew, then swallow. But in a sort of twist, a hard and flaky substance also sat next to the apples and sweet liquid. All in all, it was an interesting taste.

“Thank you for the experience,” I told Tigershark.

Then I went to the door, ready to depart to a new land. Sunny was beside me once again, as were the other three humans.

“Are you sure you’ll be safe out there?” Sunny asked once again.

“I will be where my footsteps take me,” I assured her. Before I went far past the diner and into the soft, snowy unknown, Tigershark ran after me.

“Will I see you again?” She asked.

I smiled.

“Yes. Whenever you see stars in the night sky, I will be there.”

“I don’t get it, but okay!” Tigershark grinned. With that, I walked off, and looked back, only a quick glance, back at the others. Before long, however long was, I could no longer see the diner. As for where I would turn up, I wouldn’t know until I knew. Amen.

#remoras full #writing #fiction #stories #slice of life #drama #comedy #astraea #cosmic entity #curiosity #wanderlust #diner

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homestuckinhelp · 5 years ago

Note

hey, can i have a general shufflemancy for my john scratch timeline? if it helps, i know we played the game and i lived with doc scratch.

i got “bottom of the river” by delta rae! now just as a preliminary note, i didn’t get too many details aside from the two things you mentioned, so i tried to keep it a bit vague! hope that’s okay!! ;;

Hold my handOoh, baby, it's a long way down to the bottom of the riverHold my handOoh, baby, it's a long way down, a long way down

my immediate thought is that in the context of the song, doc scratch would be the singer of this verse. i don’t know of your feelings toward him, but from this i’m getting that he (at least, appeared to be) attempting to help you toward a goal you weren’t completely sure about at the time. he might have deliberately withheld details from you, or tricked you into doing his bidding, but somehow you didn’t have any idea what he was really plotting.

If you get sleep or if you get noneThe cock's gonna call in the morning, babyCheck the cupboard for your daddy's gunRed sun rises like an early warning

you might have been pitted against the others, due to doc scratch’s influence. he may have purposefully made you play the game for the unknown purposes stated earlier. this likely might have made you seem untrustworthy to your canonmates at first; the “red sun rises like an early warning” makes me think dave (or a burgundy blood, if your canonmates were trolls) learned of doc scratch’s ultimate plans and deeply distrusted you. maybe even sowed suspicion of your own intentions among the others? in any case, you weren’t really a figure to be distrusted; rather, you were just doing what you thought was right.

The Lord's gonna come for your first born sonHis hair's on fire and his heart is burningSo go to the river where the water runsWash him deep where the tides are turning

probably a reference to caliborn/lord english, if i had to guess. the references to water make me think something happened on rose’s planet (land of light and rain), something that could have killed you. it probably had something to do with caliborn/lord english, which made you finally realize doc scratch’s real intentions for you in playing the game.

And if you fallAnd if you fall...

Hold my handOoh, baby, it's a long way down to the bottom of the riverHold my handOoh, baby, it's a long way down, a long way down

he tried to keep up the façade of being a supportive figure in your session but it was too late. you knew what was inevitably going to happen if you continued to go along with his plan, and you rebelled. your canonmates might not have believed you when you told them everything, but eventually they came around and started to accept you as part of the team and a valuable ally.

The wolves will chase you by the pale moonlightDrunk and driven by a devil's hungerDrive your son like a railroad spikeInto the water, let it pull him under

more than likely, the concept of a sacrifice popped up. (now keep in mind, i’m still a little foggy on canon doc scratch and lord english so please take this next part with a grain of salt!) doc scratch might have suggested to you that you choose one of your own canonmates to essentially “sacrifice” to lord english, which – according to him – would sate the beast forever. you called bullshit on that and refused to comply with the suggestion. after that – assuming this is all correct so far – he likely became the ultimate target of your team, with english becoming a second priority.

Don't you lift him, let him drown aliveThe good Lord speaks like a rolling thunderLet that fever make the water riseAnd let the river run dry

And I said

i would guess that the reason why you targeted doc scratch was because he, ultimately, was manipulating english and his influence was the root of the peril you and your team faced. again, i’m unsure what your relationship was like but if it was negative in nature, this was more than likely the reason. if you did not kill him, someone else did.

Hold my handOoh, baby, it's a long way down to the bottom of the riverHold my handOoh, baby, it's a long way down, a long way down

Hold my handOoh, baby, it's a long way, a long long long wayHold my handOoh, baby, it's a long way down, a long way down (x2)

these lyrics give me the impression that after the evils were defeated, someone else metaphorically extended a helping hand (dave or the burgundy blood i mentioned earlier would be most likely) to get you back on your feet after the chaos that was your game. i’m not quite sure what you did after that but pendulum readings may provide an answer!

i hope this was helpful!! sorry if some of the details were inaccurate but i did the best with what i had!! ;;

#shufflemancy

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rowangst · 6 years ago

Text

(pt1) musical dreams - yue yue

- a soulmate au in which soulmates receive dreams randomly on their soulmate’s day. this only happens when you’re in a deep sleep, so you usually don’t remember much of it, but you’re determined to find the owner of these memories.

genre : fluff, romance

word count : 2.58k

pt1 | pt2

a/n - this soulmate idea came from a fic i read a really long time ago about haikyuu so it was in a volleyball context. i felt that this would suit yue yue the most, so here we are :>

⇠┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅༻❁༺┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅┅⇢

There it goes again.

The same laughter and voice you’ve been hearing for the past 5 years. The same few people you’ve been seeing, but not once have you seen a reflection of their face.

What a bummer.

Today, they’re sitting at a crossroad. You can’t help but wonder what it is they’re about to do. After all, not everyone just sits at the crossroad like nobody’s business.

So there they are, sitting there, holding onto something, a microphone stand in front of them. A performer, perhaps? Your suspicion is proven correct as you hear the guitar chords being played on their guitar. You anticipate they’re voice since it has grown to be one of your most favourite sounds in the world. The way it flows so smoothly has got you swooning.

While enjoying the melody of their voice, you can’t help but notice that the surroundings look awfully familiar. Have you been to this particular place before? Mentally, you curse yourself for not being able to recall any details of the area. You were dying to meet your soulmate, but these dreams were not helping.

A particular part of the lyrics stands out to you a lot.

Actually, I am not a bad guy. （其实我不是 bad guy）

Meeting you is an accident（遇见你是意外）

Such subtle lyrics have so much meaning, don’t you think? You personally believe that your soulmate wouldn’t possibly be a bad guy. Who, with such a nice voice and laugh, could possibly be a bad person? You’ve heard of stories where someone’s soulmate turns out to be really bad and everything just goes wrong for that person, so you’re glad that you’re staying out of the unlucky range.

You finally notice that he has stopped singing. You watch as your point of view rises and that hand that you have seen countless times in your dreams reaching for the microphone.

“Thanks for stopping by to listen to me sing, ah, thanks for the support. My name is-”

That’s it. You were finally going to learn his name.

“Yu-”

You jolt awake, sitting upright in your bed, your hair no doubt an absolute mess. A groan escapes your lips as you ruffle your hair in frustration, making it messier than it already was. Each time you had this sort of dream, you always had to wake up when you were just that close to finding out who your soulmate was. This happened so frequently to a point where you were starting to think that fate didn't want you to find out who your soulmate was. So that you could stay single forever.

Still grumpy at the fact that your dream had been interrupted, you drag yourself off the bed to get ready for the day ahead of you. To you, your work had the most precedence in your mind.

You're rushing down the street to get to your workplace. Soulmate dreams start and end whenever they please, and there was absolutely no way to wake anyone up in the middle of one. Because of this, you woke up a tad bit too late for your taste and were going to be late for work.

In your rush, you bump into someone carrying a guitar on their back.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry," you mumble as you take off towards the direction of your workplace without bothering to take a look at the face of the person you bumped into. You had a place to be at, and stopping to look at someone would just slow you down. At that exact same moment, your phone rings. You groan silently as you fish the phone out of your pocket. A voice barks at you on the other end.

"y/n! Where are you? The meeting with the Director starts in 10 minutes and you've yet to show up in my office! Do you still want your job or not?"

You roll your eyes. "Sorry, I overslept. I'll be there in 5 minutes, with your cup of coffee. Sorry."

"You'd better. The next time this happens, you can kiss your job goodbye."

You're walking down the street, earpieces in your ears, heading towards some unknown location. Everything looks higher for some reason, and why is that? You enter a cafe and the cashier gives you a friendly greeting, "Oh hey, Yue! Your usual again?"

Oh right, you're dreaming. No wonder the perspective seems a little off.

"That's right. Give it a little extra kick than usual though, I... didn't sleep much last night," you heard your favourite raspy voice answer.

"And why's that so? Stayed up late writing songs? Watching too many dramas?"

Your soulmate laughs while shaking their head. "No, definitely not. You know me, I'm not like that. It's just... Something's been bothering me lately. I just think too much, don't you think so?"

The cashier guy shrugs. "I guess everyone has that point in their lives where they think too much. Relax, Yue. Whatever's bothering you, I'm sure you'll solve it soon. Or it'll blow over. Whichever comes first," he says as he turns around to start preparing the drink.

"Yue" starts to look around the cafe while idly tapping away at the counter, his fingers drumming along the oak finishing. They observe the customers, who range from couples to working adults to students. Cafes seem to be a popular date location for couples nowadays, huh.

"Here's your coffee, Yue," the cashier guy returns, placing the cup of coffee on the counter. "Yue" grabs the coffee and is about to leave when he adds,"By the way, Ziyang is asking if you'll play here today. Y'know, like you usually do? In your usual spot? Not by the traffic lights, of course."

"Yue" hums as they take a sip of their coffee. "Well, I guess it depends on my mood today. It also depends on how much Ziyang is willing to pay me for this gig. My services don't come free, you know. And he owes me way too many favours."

"So that's a maybe, then?" The cashier guy asks, a tinge of hopefulness hidden in his voice. "Yue" nods. "Alright, I'll let the boss know."

"Yue" waves as he exits the place. You manage to catch a glimpse of the name of the cafe. The sign reads "Espresso Yourself".

Everything goes black.

You sit up on your bed as you review the contents of the dream. For once, the dream actually proved to be useful, since you finally got a clue on who your soulmate might be. You hurry to scribble down the name of the cafe that your soulmate frequents before you started to forget what it was.

You had heard about that cafe before and had seen many photos of it on Instagram. It had recently opened a couple of blocks away from your apartment building and was one of the most talked about cafes around. It was a place for anyone to "express themselves", hence the name. Street musicians or bands were often invited to play and sing in the space in the cafe. It's a quaint place - everyone loved it.

Your first thought is to visit the cafe to find out the name of your mysterious performer soulmate "Yue". So much information is presented to you at once - your soulmate's nickname, which cafe they frequent, where they usually perform, heck finding out who they are would be a piece of cake. However, a small part of you still uncertain. Were you ready to find out who they were? To meet them? Were you ready for a relationship at all? What if your soulmate didn't even like you?

Although it is barely before the crack of dawn, your burning queries had to be solved, so you call up your friend who, ever so conveniently, had found his soulmate way before you did. The tone went off at least 5 times before he picked up.

"You better have a good reason for calling me this early in the morning, y/n," a familiar tired out voice speaks from the other side of the call.

"Good morning to you too, Mubo. Isn't it just lovely this morning?"

You hear bitter laughter. "y/n, it's 5am. This morning isn't lovely. If anything, I think you're trying to ask me for a favour."

"I mean, you're not right, but you're not entirely wrong either," you state, fiddling with the hem of your shirt. "More like I need your advice for my ever so colourful love life."

"Darling, your love life is anything but colourful."

You roll your eyes as you flop back onto the bed. "Well no shit, I was being sarcastic, mind you. You, on the other end, seem to be enjoying your colourful love life to the fullest."

Mubo chuckles,"Why yes, of course, I have. Why would I waste having such a wonderful boyfriend?"

A year prior, Mubo had searched for his soulmate endlessly (who yes, turned out to be a guy), and his search did not end in vain. He did find his other half, and the two are living their best gay lives together. Personally, you thought that Qin Fen, Mubo's boyfriend, is a way better friend than Mubo could ever be. At least he didn't try to be snarky towards you 90% of the time.

"I didn't call you to talk about your boyfriend, no matter how much more wonderful he is compared to you," you reply. "I'll go straight to the point. I had one of those soulmate dreams just now and I finally got a clue on who my soulmate could be. I just... need advice on how to approach them. I don't want to seem too eager, or too desperate. What if they don't even want to date? Or if they're not interested in girls???" As you started to list the various worries you were having, more questions started to appear in your mind."

"Oh my gosh, y/n, you need to relax. Make a cup of tea or something, but you need to calm down." Sometimes, underneath all that sarcasm and slight shade throwing, you forget that Mubo could be such a mom. "Listen, darling, meeting your soulmate is easier than you think. Just be natural, and most importantly, be yourself. If they can't like you for who you are, then leave. If they're not interested in you, that's fine. There's plenty of fishes in the sea."

"But-"

"Look, y/n. You're a great person, and your soulmate would be an idiot to be unable to see that. Also, you're not getting any younger, and I'm pretty sure the same goes for your soulmate. If you lose this prime period, you're probably going to be single forever. And I don't wish to see my good friend end up at the club on singles night. No thanks."

A small smile tugs at the corner of your lips. "Aw, Mubo, I think that's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me."

"Oh shut up."

You laugh,"But jokes aside, thanks a lot. I think that your advice was just what I needed." You hear a rustle from the other end of the phone, as well as someone murmuring. You guess that Qin Fen had just woken up.

"Oh, Qin Fen's awake. I guess this is my cue to hang up. Update me on your progress, okay?"

"Sure thing. Thanks again, Mubo."

"Is that y/n?" you hear Qin Fen ask.

Mubo laughs,"Yes. Bye, y/n!"

Silence fills your apartment as the line goes dead. You imagine Qin Fen and Mubo just cuddling each other, even though it is the dead of the night. While you, on the other hand, will sit on your bed, contemplating your life choices and how lonely you are despite your age. How unfortunate. Such is the singles life.

You crawl back into bed and try to sleep off your worries for the upcoming day.

You push open the glass door of the cafe and the first thing that hits your nose is the strong aroma of coffee. The interior of the place gives off warm and cosy vibes - from the ivory-coloured walls to the wooden furnishing to the fairy lights that decorate the place - show just how much effort the owner must have put in. You were in love with nearly everything in it.

As you approach the counter, you recognise the teen standing behind it. He was the exact same guy who appeared in your dream but most importantly, he was also the one who seemed to know who your soulmate was. You join the queue and wait patiently for your turn. In the meantime, you look around the cafe and notice that photo frames were hung on the walls. You make a mental note to check out the photographs later on.

"Hello, can I take your order please?" the teen asks, flashing you a smile.

You return the smile and scan the drinks list briefly. Biting your lip, you point at one of the items. "I think I'll just get a caramel macchiato. With extra caramel, if possible?"

He chuckles, noting down your order before passing it on to another employee behind the counter. "You sure like your drinks sweet, huh," he remarks as you move to the side. You shake your head.

"I guess you could put it that way. But one day I'll get diabetes from this habit, just you wait."

You finally get a glimpse of his nametag as he smiles at your joke. "Yeah, I'm sure you will," Ling Chao says.

As he goes on to attend to the next customer in line, you contemplate on whether or not you should ask him about your soulmate. After all, it wasn't too late to back out from your search yet. You look around nervously, but a buzz from your pocket snaps you out of your thoughts. You receive a text from Mubo.

[please ignore the timestamps! they’re a bit whacked up. also, the ‘he’ in the text msg refers to you asking ling chao abt ‘yue’, not you asking ‘yue’ abt the soulmate thing.]

"y/n!" Ling Chao calls out your name, that cheeky grin forever on his face. As you reach over to grab the cup from his hands, you steel yourself to ask him your most dreaded question.

"Hey, Ling Chao, right? Right. Um, by chance, do you know anyone who goes by the name of Yue?"

You watch as recognition cross his face. He nods slowly. "Oh, you mean Lao Yue? Yeah, I know him. And why do you ask?"

"Ahahaha, no reason," you laugh nervously, sweat slowly dripping down your brow. Why was it so hot all of a sudden? "I just erh, wanted to know if he would be performing today?"

Suddenly, Ling Chao claps sharply. "Ah, so you're one of his fans," he guesses, the cheeky grin growing wider. "I don't think he's coming down here today. You can try coming back tomorrow evening though. Ziyang has him booked as tomorrow's performer."

You let out the breath that you were unintentionally holding. In order to hide your nervousness, you pretend to laugh lightly. "Ah, I see. Thanks then! I'll be sure to drop by tomorrow evening."

As you start to leave, Ling Chao winks at you. "I'll be sure to let Ge know that you'll be expecting him." A blush creeps onto your cheeks as he says that, and you try your best to hide it from him. Nothing escapes his keen eye though.

You hear Ling Chao's fleeting laughter as you hurry to leave the cafe.

On your way home, you decide to update Mubo on the progress of your mission for love.

author’s note : how are you finding pt 1? i hope its ok, i spent a really long time trying to get this right :( small clarification - i used the pronoun “they” for yue at first because i feel that before you get to know what exactly is someone’s gender, you shouldn’t assume so therefore use the word they. hope no one’s confused? pt 2 is coming soon!

masterlist

#min writes #oner #yue yue #idol producer #idol producer imagine #oner imagines #oner imagine #yue yue imagine #idol producer images #oneshot #cpop memes

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head-and-heart · 7 years ago

Text

The 100 Ask Game

Thanks for the tag @istilldothiseveryday ! This looks fun :)

1. What would you get arrested for on the Ark?

Protests? Can you get arrested for that on the Ark?

I dunno. I have a very strong personality I’d probably get into to some kind of trouble politically on the Ark 2. Would you take off your wristband when you landed on the ground?

Nah. I’m very much alike with Clarke in the way I think and as much as I may like to stick my middle finger up at the council if I was sent down on the dropship, I think I would see the value in having the Ark (aka. a functioning society) follow us down to the ground. I would be scared out of my mind of the Grounders - back up would be nice. 3. What would the necklace Finn would make for you look like? (Clarke: deer/Raven: a raven duh..)

Probably a mangled mess of metal cause I’d shut down that shit SO hard

4. If you could resurrect any MINOR character who would it be?

Maya. I understand that her surviving doesn’t really make any sense and they needed her to die for jasper’s arc or whatever BUT TBH SHE HAD SO MUCH POTENTIAL??? Like, I stanned her team-up with Bellamy so hard; I’d literally sell my soul to satan for her to be incorporated into the delinquent’s group. Can you imagine her suiting up and going on hunting missions with Harper? Attending Lincoln and Bell’s sparring lessons? Sharing her music with Gina at the bar????? Helping out Abby and Jackson in medical???? Having heart to hearts with Clarke about her mom (and Clarke’s dad), who both died rebelling against the system??? Cracking jokes with Monty?? imagine if she went up to space with the squad, and what their relationship could have been like then! She could be their medic on board.

People always simplify Maya to her relationship with Jasper (and yes they were cute) but SHE COULD HAVE BEEN SO MUCH MORE. She was smart and courageous and selfless - she had fire and wit and strength and i m i s s her.

She’ll never see Earth, never breathe real air, never float on the water, never meet Riley

We’ll never get to see her grow up and it makes me sad

5. Create a squad of 5 characters to go on missions with. Who are they?

Raven and Monty because they’re GENIUSES obviously.

Lincoln and Bellamy so I don’t fucking DIE lmao - I know they got my back (my poor boys - both too selfless for their own good)

Clarke cause the Angry Cat game is strong and she’s got a real knack for not dying even when she should, probably, be 110% dead 6. Minty or Briller?

Briller. Tragically, Bryan only started to interest me in 4x02 when they gave him more dimension by visiting farm station.

Also ... how can you say no to chickens? 7. What would your name be in Trigedasleng? (example: Octavia=Okteivia…just make it up!)

Uhhh. Keit? Kayt?

What a lame name 8. Thoughts on Finn? Some people hate him, and others love him, so I’m curious

i don’t know him

9. Be honest. How willing would you have been to take the chip without knowing all the horrible things it does?

I doubt I would take it. Unknown drug with unknown effects? Sounds pretty sketch. I don’t see myself going for that - I’m a generally skeptical person. 10. What character do you relate to most & What character do you like the least not including the obvious ones like Pike, etc…

Definitely relate the most to my INTJ queen Clarke Griffin!

And Octavia is probably my least favourite character. I can see why some people like her and the merit in her character arc I guess but tbh she just IRRITATES me to no end - she has certain characteristics that really grate at me. Obviously, some characters are horrible people (like Dr. Tsing ew) but Octavia just infuriates me because of some of her characteristics.

She’s not for me. 11. Describe your delinquent outfit. (Would you wear something like Murphy’s jacket with the spikey red shoulder patch or have a trademark like Jasper’s goggles? Be creative, yet practical)

Something practical cause I’m boring.

Cargo pants. Ark-issued t-shirt. And a nice warm jacket. The jackets the characters wear on this show are pathetic - they barely look like they keep the wind out. And only Bellamy zips his up. smh vancouver is colder than it looks - all that humidity

As for a trademark thing?

I’d be the only arker with an “I <3 BELLAMY BLAKE” t shirt probably

12. Favorite type of mutant animal?

Bellamy’s three-headed doggo he hasn’t found yet

anyway i still have hope

13. What would your job be on the Ark?

I think I’d follow in Raven/Monty’s paths a bit and go into something mathematical like engineering but knowing myself I’d probably end up moving into politics later on. I have too many strong opinions to put up with the Ark system lol 14. Would you have willingly pumped Ontari’s heart if Abby asked?

Oh HELL no. I’d probably throw up all over it. I’m sorry Clarke. It’s not like that’s ACTUALLY how blood transfusions work anyway *intense side-eye at The 100 “science”* 15. If Lxa wasn’t Heda, but she’s still alive right? then who would make the best commander?

None of them. Bellamy x Clarke leadership duo. I don’t care about the Grounder commander system - it’s all kinda bs anyway.

None of the individual leaders on this show have done a good job. They’ve always functioned best as a team (which is why I want the Bellarke leader couple back) 16. If you were a grounder, then where would you live and who would be your mentor?

I mean I know she went all cray cray and they all died but probably Luna’s rig. I don’t want shit to do with the other clans, who are always warring with each other. And I think Nyko would be a pretty good mentor. I’d like to learn medicine. 17. How would you act if you ate the hallucinogenic nuts like Jasper and Monty?

Let’s be real, I’d probably start crying about how Bellamy and Clarke are in love and wHy cAn’T tHeY jUSt bAnG aLrEAdY ... and Finn would be real mad about it if he was in charge of picking my ass off the floor like in “Day Trip”

ha! I think it would be worth it 18. How would you have dealt with Charlotte’s crime? A more John Murphy approach or Bellamy Blake?

I mean ... I definitely wouldn’t lead a manhunt to kill a thirteen year old girl so I can say with a lot of confidence that I would NOT follow the Murphy route. Not so sure I’d just pardon her though. I think the delinquents needed some kind of prison system. Charlotte did murder a kid. Even though she was a child, there probably should have been some kind of consequence for that (though not killing her would be ideal) 19. Who should be the Chancellor, if anyone?

Bellamy Blake and Clarke Griffin co-leading motherfucking power couple

I will accept no less in canon. just let me fucking have this

20. Mount Weather had a lot of modern commodities. (example: Maya’s Ipod)What is the one thing you would snatch while there?

Oh, the iPod for sure. I literally don’t know if I could live without music. I’m listening to it ALL the time - I’m listening to it right now. RAIGN is playing *cries in Bellarke* 21. Do you think you’d have caught the virus spread through camp or would you have been immune like O.ctavia?

I’m a weak ass bitch so probably

and on the basis that I don’t like any of the people who ARE immune then maybe I don’t wanna be - what’s the point of surviving in a world where you’ve only got Finn Collins and O.ctavia Blake for company? 22. What would your grounder tattoos look like? Hairstyle? War paint?

I want whatever makeup L.exa’s got from Polisephora. You think she’d share some of that eyeliner? 23. Favorite quote?

“Shouldn’t there be more to life than just surviving?” - Clarke Griffin (2x14)

24. Can you forgive Murphy for his actions? How about Bellamy?

Yeah. I feel like we’re kind of past this point in the plot. They’ve both showed development and change and I think we’re definitely at a place in the story where both of them are intended as sympathetic characters to the audience. 25. If one of the characters was in the Hunger Games, who would have the best shot at winning? NOOOOO ALREADY SO MUCH DEATH NOOOO

I’m going to answer this as if all of our characters were thrown into the ring and I have to predict which one would win.

I wanna say Octavia because I think she’s independent and - er - determined enough to take out someone she knows if it came down to being the two of them to grant her own freedom and survival. Whereas, someone like Clarke or Bellamy or Kane would probably just nightlock it cause they’re self-sacrificial af.

But then I also think maybe Murphy ‘cause cockroaches never die (thank you Raven). 26. Least favorite ship? Favorite ship? NOT INCLUDING CL OR BC

Least favourite ship that people actually like? (aka. not something like Clarke and Jaha)

Probably B.echo (as a romantic relationship, not necessarily sexual). Hate to be basic and predictable but I think I would actually die if it were endgame.

FAVOURITE SHIP THAT ISN’T BELLARKE

how dare

If you asked me this a few months ago I would have told ya Niytavia but now that we’ve gotten more teasers about Octavia’s character in Season 5 I’m not sure if I want her anywhere near her (I like Niylah when she’s hot, but not cooked, ya feel?)

So maybe Jasper and Raven. Idk. I liked their friendship. Still bitter about Season 4.

I don’t really ship anything besides Bellarke that much. They’re an anomaly for me. 27. A song that should be included in the next season, like when Radioactive was? If there had to be another guest star like Shawn Mendes on the show, who would you want to make a cameo?

Tbh RAIGN goes hard af so anything by her would be pretty lit.

I mostly only associate songs I listen to with Bellarke when I’m applying them to the show so I’ve got like 100+ songs that I would love to use for them but its hard to think of a context where they would fit in with the tone of the show

And I want Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir to cameo. They don’t need to say anything - they just need to stare soulfully into each other’s eyes in the background.

... or makeout

Whatever. 28. What would you do if you were stuck in the bunker with Murphy for all that time?

Steal the wine. Have karaoke battles. Drunkenly cry because RaVEn iS sO sTrONg and sO gOoD (and he would cry with me - he WOULD).

Gossip about Bellamy’s butt.

The possibilities are endless, really.

29. Opinion on Emori? Roan?

I don’t really have a strong opinion on Emori. I feel like our knowledge of her is still so limited. She’s still barely interacted with anyone besides Murphy. But I’m guessing that may change in Season 5. I’d like to see her interact more with Bellamy, since they both have siblings (and Emori was the disgraced child too, just like O). Not many people can relate in that sense.

I really liked Roan but TO BE HONEST I found him more intriguing in Season 3 than in Season 4. He was literally up there in like my top four or five characters in Season 3 - I was so excited to learn more about him! In Season 4 he didn’t have much of a character arc, he was just kind of there to look moody and badass.

But honestly Roan is one of those characters that I don’t think was necessarily intended to be funny (as opposed to characters like Jasper and Wick) but his interactions with Clarke, Bellamy, and Echo offered up the occasional piece of comedy gold. He went too soon. Forever mourning the bromance that he and Bellamy could have had.

30. Would you want to be an extra that is killed off in a brutal way?

I wanna be Satisfied Girl.

Or Riley. Everyone loves that guy

so ... no? maybe? does it come with the job? 31. A character you’d like to learn more about and get flashbacks of?

CADOGAN. @metastation has ruined me; now I just want more!

Also any of the Eligius crew tbh 32. A character you’d bang?

Omg like all of them.

Bellamy and Raven are up there tho.

And highkey Bree could get it. She looks like she knows what she’s doing.

Echo’s hot but i dunno chains and choking aren’t really my thing

Anywayyyyy I’m way too late to the party so I won’t tag anyone but like if you feel like doing this GO AHEAD ! And you can tag me in your post if you want too

#the 100 #posts by moi

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roads-like-roses · 7 years ago

Text

Just Give Me A Smile (3)

Pairing: Jimin x Jungkook

Summary: Jungkook sucked at human relationships. There were many things he ignored: how to talk to people, what to say, what not to say. Therefore, he was inclined to believe that being alone was his destiny. Oh, how unaware he was of how much a smile with a crooked tooth would mean to him. He didn’t know he could express himself and release his emotions through dancing either. But all it took was a flash of pink hair for that so called destiny to change.

Masterlist

-Your drawings are improving, Kookie.

His mother surprised him when she entered his bedroom, holding his sketch book between her hands. She, smiling as usual, left the book on his desk while he was getting ready to leave for school.

-Who are all these people? – She asked. She passed him some notebooks so he could put them on his bag.

-Students, guys I see around during the breaks I guess.

Closing his bag, he reached to her and left a kiss on her cheek.

Maybe that day he would visit Taehyung too, even if it was only during the lunch break. He wasn’t sure if he could find the boy there during class, given that he had made specifically clear that he was there all the time it was a possibility, but he didn’t want to give off a bad impression and appear in the library whenever he had a spare moment. That would frighten anybody.

Supposing Taehyung would want some time for himself, he didn’t show up in the library that day, until the last break of the day, when he figured dropping by to say hello wouldn’t be a bad idea. Or that’s what he was planning, until Young Min showed up in front of him, not allowing him to leave.

-There you are, I couldn’t find you anywhere else. Then again, I should have known you were in the classroom. Are you busy?

-I was heading to the library. – He replied, throwing his stuff inside his backpack. He didn’t bother to look at her in the eye, not thinking she might need to say something important.

-Then you’re not. Mr. Jung asked me to tell you that he would like you to talk to him. Right now if that’s possible. – She ran a hand over her hair, making it look even better than it did before. – He’s in the gym, you should drop by there before going to the library.

Before Jungkook could answer, she was already on her way out. He sighed, releasing his bag on his seat. The corridors were full of students who were way more cheerful than him. But he didn’t resent them. He only wished to have what they had. Still, being called out by Mr. Jung wasn’t the worst that could happen to him, on the contrary, he was curious as to why would a teacher require his presence.

The yard was empty, Jungkook never fully understanding why nobody chose to spend some time there. It was peaceful, yet if it was full of people maybe that peacefulness would be gone. As he followed the path to the gym, he perceived that its door was opened and some electronic music was coming from the inside.

-No, no, no. – He listened to Mr. Jung protesting before he actually saw him. – You’re not supposed to move your arms that way.

-That’s what you were doing right now. – Another voice objected. – I can’t follow you properly, you’re too fast.

Jungkook entered their sight on the exact moment his teacher was about to complain again. Both of their stares rested on him, which caused him to stop right on the spot. An awkward smile was drawn on his face, eyes shifting from his teacher to the unknown man.

-Jeon Jungkook! You’re here, I’m glad you could make it.

Mr. Jung approached him wearing his always bright expression that Jungkook had come to like. His teacher’s hand came to rest on his shoulder and he was directed to where the other man was. He was black haired, a color so dark as the skies during summer nights, the gym’s lights that reflected on it looked like its stars. His face was round and chubby which would have made his appearance soft, had it notbeen for his moody expression.

-This is my friend, Min Yoongi. – He introduced the sulky looking man. The only hint of having heard what Mr. Jung said was a little vow of this head aimed to Jungkook. – See? This is the student I told you about, he looks fit, right?

Jungkook couldn’t grasp what he was talking about so his eyes just kept on flowing from one man to the other. Mr. Jung was ecstatic while Min Yoongi was… well, all the opposite. Just then, the song playing ended, reminding them of the context they were in.

-I have yet to explain why I called you. – He nodded his head enthusiastically every time a word came out of his mouth. – We have to give dancing lessons to a couple of friends and we’d love for you to help us.

Yoongi left his spot and went to grab a water bottle that was lying on a bench next to the wall. He didn’t seem too into dancing so Jungkook couldn’t understand why he would be there if he despised it so much.

-Why would you need my help? I’ve never danced before in my life.

His lips were parted, confusion tainting his whole countenance. At the corner of his eyes he could sense Yoongi’s penetrating stare fixed on him. Mr. Jung’s eyebrows practically raised to the ceiling as his mouth made a funny pout.

-I’ve seen how you move during class and I’ve got a keen eye when it comes to dancers. I know you’ll do great no sooner you learn the basics.

-Still, Mr. Jung, I… - He tried to refuse, but the sudden presence beside him made him eat his own words. Yoongi wasn’t intimidating, but there was just something in him that made Jungkook shift the weight of his body from one foot to the other, uncomfortable. In spite of how cute he looked on the outside, Jungkook found it hard to look him in the eye.

-Hoseok said you have talent so you should listen to him. – His voice was raspy and low so Jungkook couldn’t pinpoint accurately if he was mad at him or just bored. – If I’m here, you better give it a try too.

-Pretty please? – Mr. Jung added to the cold words of his friend. – Yoongs can seem cold, but he truly likes dancing and I’m positive you’ll love it too.

Jungkook wasn’t sure what good would his presence bring, if they had to teach him to dance from the very beginning it definitely sounded like he was only making things harder. But after taking into consideration that he did basically nothing at all in his free time, learning to dance – if they insisted to teach him – couldn’t harm him.

-Seems fine to me. – He announced after a couple of seconds. Mr. Jung cheeks rose up so much his eyes almost disappeared. Jungkook couldn’t help but smile too at the warm reaction.

-Awesome! Then we’ll start by showing you the choreography we’re planning to teach our friends, does it sound okay?

Jungkook nodded, lips parting without he even realizing due to the concentration. He was requested to turn on the music again, so he headed to the music equipment and did as asked. The electronic music he had heard when he arrived flowed from the speaker that was attached to what he presumed was Mr. Jung’s phone.

Both Yoongi and Hoseok positioned their bodies the same way, the distance between them not too big. They follow the rhythm with perfect synchrony and Jungkook was so impressed that the gap between his lips increased as the song unfolded.

-So? What do you think? – His teacher asked while grabbing the bottle Yoongi had previously drank from.

-That was fantastic. You’re a great dancer. – The boy’s eyes showed his clear amazement. This time, Yoongi’s face lit up at the same time as Hoseok’s, as if they were still coordinated from the dance.

-Thanks. I’m sure you’ll be great too.

They decided to practice whenever they had time just to get Jungkook used to the movements before the actual students – Hoseok and Yoongi’s friends – were invited to join in. It felt like a breath of fresh air to Jungkook.

He was trailing the path back to school when he heard his name being called out by someone’s soothing voice. He turned around searching for that soft face he deduced was waiting for him to respond. Jimin had that same smile he was wearing the first time they had met.

-How are you? – He inquired without expecting Jungkook to ask first. A weak breeze passed through them and some of Jimin’s locks of hair ended up right between his eyes, emphasizing his cute and round cheeks as it left them uncovered.

-Fine, I was just coming back from the gym. – He explained. Jimin tilted his head a bit, in a puppy like manner.

-Yes, I saw you there with Hoseok and Yoongi. You seemed entertained.

Even if Jungkook wanted to know why he was there, he didn’t ask, but apparently his face gave him away because Jimin giggled, eyes moving slowly so they were facing the ground.

-I needed to talk to Hoseok but when I saw you there I couldn’t bring myself to interrupt, so I figured I’d wait for you to finish. – A little shrug shook his shoulders, innocently. – But now it’s late and I have class.

He started walking and Jungkook thought the conversation was over, too abruptly for him to try and continue it. Fortunately, Jimin slowed down as he turned his head to check if Jungkook was following him. With a subtle movement of his head he indicated he wasn’t leaving Jungkook behind but was instead expecting them to return together to the school building.

Jungkook displayed a small grin that Jimin reciprocated. Jungkook took two large steps so he could be next to the other guy before they resumed the walk. Autumn was coming, the wind brought small hints of it along with the leaves of the trees that were slowly changing its colors. Jungkook didn’t particularly like the autumn because it meant that winter was next and the cold weather always put him off. Nevertheless, after having spent some time with his PE teacher, watching how passionate he was about dancing, he couldn’t feel down. And then it was Jimin, who was friendly even if they’ve met only twice – thrice actually but he didn’t know that-. Without realizing, he started singing a song under his breath, one that came to his mind after watching Hoseok’s choreography.

Jimin made no comment, but the fact that he offered to go back together made Jungkook warm inside.

-Jimin, there you are.

A few steps ahead, Minho appeared in their sight. He approached Jimin with a smile, until he noticed he wasn’t alone. His face became serious all of a sudden and Jungkook thought that maybe he was still mad at him for what had happened before.

-Oh, Minho, I thought you would wait for me on the back. – Jimin put his hair in place, which made him look handsome and erased the cute air he was giving off until then.

-You weren’t coming so I came looking for you. – Minho’s eyes were thoroughly scanning Jungkook. Was he jealous? But more importantly, hadn’t they broken up? – What’s up with that boy?

-You don’t have to worry about him. – Jimin took a few steps ahead and grabbed Minho’s hand between his. His sweet smile was a bit smaller than formerly, though it was barely noticeable. – He promised to keep our secret, right, Kookie?

Hearing the nickename his mother had givenhim coming out from somebody else felt weird, but it wasn’t unpleasant. He nodded hesitantly, but his gaze on Minho didn’t falter. Jimin’s expression seemed to relax a bit, as if he was grateful for his answer.

-See? Let’s get going now, we don’t have much time before class.

Minho was uncertain at first, though Jimin’s words had the expected effect on him. He bowed his head quickly to Jungkook – maybe his way of saying thanks? – and they both left Jungkook standing there, alone. Perplexed.

He couldn’t understand the situation, what was going on? Weren’t they over? Had Jimin cheated on him? He couldn’t believe that was the case, since Jimin looked painfully pure, but what could be the answer to the evidence he had right before him? Far away from him, the pink haired boy checked his surroundings before grabbing Minho’s shirt and dragging him down to a kiss. Minho pushed him gently, glancing paranoid around the yard.

Jungkook let go of the air he was unconsciously holding and decided that his visit to Taehyung would have to be another day.

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sinceileftyoublog · 5 years ago

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Yorkston/Thorne/Khan Interview: Art Is Emotional

Photo by John Pountney

BY JORDAN MAINZER

The Navarasa, the nine expressions that humans show, or the the nine (nava) emotions or sentiments (rasa) of the arts, is the concept behind the latest collaboration of guitarist James Yorkston, double bassist Jon Thorne, and sarangi player Suhail Yusuf Khan. The trio, who record as Yorkston/Thorne/Khan, released Navarasa: Nine Emotions in January, each song paired with an emotion. The result is more natural than it sounds like it might be. On the surface, as I listened, it certainly appeared that the timbre of many tracks corresponded to the feel of their subsequent emotion. “Sukhe Phool”'s sorrow is reflected in Khan’s weary vocals, and his gentle singing turns into wailing on “Thumri Bhairavi”‘s anger. On the other hand, the upbeat claps of “Waliyan Da Raja” reflect its heroism, while gorgeous folk tune “Westlin Winds” combines a Robert Burns poem sung by Yorkston with vocals from Khan inspired by Muslim devotional chants and Hindustani poet-philospher-musician Hazrat Amir Khusrau. In sequence with the plucks of Yorkston’s guitar, it sure delivers a sense of wonder. And the laughter of “The North Carr” is made possible by the alternating moments of quiet and chaos, as Yorkston’s guitar and Khan’s sarangi battle. Really, though, the album is less natural than it is spontaneous. Tying the songs into the Navarasa was not the initial plan and only became the idea behind the record after many songs were finished. What’s most apparent after learning the context of the record is that it’s one of pure collaboration, an unforced melding of musical traditions. Disgust is an emotion normally shied away from by Indian musicians, but YTK tackles it head-on on traditional tale “The Shearing’s Not For You”, another upbeat feature of interplay between guitar and sarangi. And the standout is “Twa Brothers”, a traditional Scottish ballad about accidental fratricide. An a capella performance, Yorkston’s matter-of-fact vocals fail to belie Khan’s percussive vocal expressions; not only does it capture fear, but it mirrors the emotions behind the facts of life.

Navarasa: Nine Emotions is a wonderful record that each listener is bound to react to differently. I was able to ask each band member questions over email about the record, and that each often had a different response to the question, not even touching on something the other one said, is telling of the record’s true depth. Read their responses below.

Since I Left You: Why did you decide it was the right time to create an album like this, that centers around emotions?

Jon Thorne: We were just writing spontaneously, when it became apparent that the songs seem to express a wide range of emotions. Suhail picked up on this and suggested the Navarasa concept.

Suhail Yusuf Khan: I think all art is emotional, anyway. During the working process of our third album, the theme of Navarasa matched well with our songs, and the three of us resonated instantly with it.

SILY: Were there any specific tracks on which you tried to capture the emotion it was paired with? Were there any on which you specifically tried to stray from it?

JT: The concept was applied after many of the tracks were finished. The songs fit the idea without us having to capture or keep away from anything in particular.

SYK: I don't particularly remember staying away from any of the emotions, but the ones that I thought would be challenging in terms of finding the right sound for were terror (bhayanaka), laughter (hasya), and disgust (bhibhatsya). Regarding the tracks getting paired: There were a few overlaps in the initial stages of composing, but they got cleared as we moved on.

SILY: To what extent did you try to remain faithful to the denotation and connotation of each emotion?

James Yorkston: There was a lightness to it. We didn't try to force anything.

JT: We didn’t deliberately try to stay within any confines. Each track grew organically.

SYK: The songs were written first and then assigned to the emotions. This gave us creative freedom. However, as far as the actual 'denotation and connotation' behind the navarasa is concerned, for a better understanding, one has to delve deep into the ancient Indian treatises on arts. In the case of our album, these emotions are used as a direction to take the listener on a journey that is narrated by YTK.

SILY: What's the inspiration behind the sequencing of the record? At some points, it feels like the "positive" emotions are grouped together and the "negative" are grouped together.

JY: That's interesting to hear. No, I just sequenced it as I would a mixtape in the old days--just to make the album as a whole a good listen, with each song complementing the one before and hopefully after. After discussion with Jon and Suhail, it took a few attempts, but we got there.

JT: The songs were sequenced according to how well they flowed rather than any particular positive or negative groupings.

SYK: The sequencing was mainly done on the basis of how well the songs transition and flow within themselves.

SILY: What's the inspiration behind the video for "Sukhe Pool"?

JY: I'd been listening to Sabri Khan's version of Raag Darbari on YouTube, and the next video that came on was of Indian Classical Dance. I loved the way the dancers were at the front of the stage and the musicians on the sideline. I don't particularly enjoy being in videos, so I suggested it to a friend of mine who works in the Asian dance world, and she put us in contact with some dancers she could recommend. The dancers, of course, being creative people, had ideas of their own, and choreographed a piece so it fit with the feel of the song. Domino were happy to suggest a production team to film it, etc. I think it is a beautiful video. I love it. My part in it was only the initial spark. From then on, a great many creative people helped steer it to where it is today.

JT: James wanted to incorporate physical interpretation of the piece through traditional Indian dance. I think it worked very well. It certainly was an interesting experience on the day watching it unfold.

SYK: “Sukhe Phool” is based on a story of two lovers being separated from each other, and that's the inspiration we've used for the video as well.

SILY: What's the inspiration behind the album art?

JY: I was in Dunfermline, meeting the artist Jonny Hannah, who had designed the cover of my last solo album. On the walls of the cafe were the works of Olga Krasanova. I loved her work, so took a card and kept it in mind for YTK. When I met up with her, I explained the friendship aspect of YTK, how we'd met, how we compose, and I also explained, to my knowledge, the Navarasa, and the concept behind the album. Mostly, though, I asked her to be free with her art, that we were asking her as we loved her art and we wanted her to be her. We see all things like this--be it the covers or the videos--as a collaboration. We are not the clients; we are working in tandem with them.

JT: James sent us a few pieces from different artists, but the work of Olga Krasanova seemed to resonate particularly well with YTK. She sent various pieces, and we selected our favorites. I really love the results. It’s very striking when on display in record shops.

SYK: It is aligned with the concept of Navarasa, but in a subtle way.

SILY: How are you playing these songs live? Faithfully, or with some improvisation?

JY: There is a lot of improvisation. There has to be, really, partly as Jon's memory is so bad now, he often forgets where he is, let alone where we are in the song.

JT: The songs have a template, but we always stay wide open to improvisation in the moment. The essence may remain the same, but the shape rarely does. We remain faithful to the spirit of them more than the form.

SYK: Ha, who says improvisation doesn't involve faith! Well, to answer your question, YTK's music especially, in certain sections of our songs, applies improvisation. However, we make sure this doesn't interfere with the integrity and the meaning behind our songs. It's hard to explain this in words, and thus, for a lack of better understanding, I encourage you to witness our live performance.

SILY: What's next for Yorkston/Thorne/Khan?

JY: This is under discussion, but there are a lot of ideas that we're musing over...

JT: Hopefully, a fourth album, possibly featuring a range of collaborators. It’s still being discussed. And more gigs once the world recovers from the trauma of COVID-19. We need to resume the tour that it cut short and re-schedule as many of the festivals that we had, too. It’s a unique opportunity to explore new and unknown territory musically, and I’m very much looking forward to the next chapter.

SYK: Another album and a potential tour of the U.S. whenever the world comes out of this pandemic.

Note: You can pick up on Bandcamp a live album released by the band in March (from a 2017 performance in Brussels) and a new compilation of “demos, duets, covers, and soundtrack work” from Yorkston.

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dylanreviewsthings · 7 years ago

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Immortal Reviews' Top 50 Songs Of 2017

2017 is coming to a close, and it's that time of year where we all look back and reflect on the past. We are all different people than we were at the start, for better or for worse. By the same token, music is different than it was at the start of the year. We've watched music change and morph with the times from beginning to the end, and perhaps there's a beauty how specific moments are chronicled in the sound.

From the urgent release of Lorde's 'Green Light' to the heartbreaking tragedy of Linkin Park's 'One More Light,' we have grown and changed with the music throughout the year. This is Immortal Reviews' Top 50 Songs of 2017. Let us know what your favorite songs of the year are in the comments or on our social media!

Click on the links to read our full reviews of the songs/albums in which the songs are found on.

50. Evanescence - 'Imperfection'

Six years after their last record, Evanescence returned with beautiful orchestral reimaginations of previous tracks, as well as some new numbers such as the anthemic and haunting 'Imperfection.'

49. Blackbear - 'anxiety'

Blackbear's Cybersex was laced with many pictures of the state of relationships and interactions, and the wonderfully innocent yet worrysome 'anxiety' tied it all together.

48. Meadowlark - 'Paraffin'

While 'Paraffin' was Meadowlark's breakout single last year, it certainly held up it's message. The sweet, melodic indie pop track is infectious in every way, keeping its meaning at its core to tie in with its sweetness.

47. Björk - 'Losss'

Chaotic yet enchanting in the perfect way only Björk knows how to create, 'Losss' was the culmination of the soulful, industrial dream she explored in Utopia.

46. Foo Fighters - 'The Line'

Concrete & Gold was a big change in pace for Foo Fighters, who sought after a more upfront and grandiose production on this record. At the heart of the band's more driven sound is 'The Line,' an anthem that's truly one for the record books.

45. Death From Above - 'Freeze Me'

Death From Above had an interesting year, breaking out from a lot of barriers. Finally able to drop the "1979" label after previous legal drama and breaking through the radio barriers with 'Freeze Me' as their new anthem, the duo's more alternative sound really took them to a new level, without dropping their signature anger and groove.

44. Sam Smith - 'HIM'

Sam Smith made his long-awaited comeback this year, and not without tragedy. 'HIM' battles the struggle of being gay, facing expectations, and trying not to disappoint. It's a hard track to swallow for anyone who's ever been in love, let alone someone who is part of the LGBTQ community. It's a powerful one in the name of love

43. XXXTentacion - 'Save Me'

Many events in the music world of 2017 led to a bigger - and needed - discussion of mental health, a theme that is largely discussed in XXXTentacion's 17. 'Save Me' is a raw track with an inside look on being depressed, and perhaps it should serve as another insight into the big discussion of mental health.

We do not condone nor endorse the actions of XXXTentacion, we merely are commenting on the message behind the music.

42. The Chainsmokers & Coldplay - 'Something Just Like This'

When you pair Coldplay's anthemic presence with The Chainsmokers' ability to make pop bangers, and you get a beautifully personal track where Chris Martin begs for someone to hit that right connection again. Regardless of what you feel about either band, this track is a wonderful anthem that's bound to hit home somewhere for you, whether it be from the childlike curiosity of wanting to be the best or the idea of searching for that right feeling once more.

41. Vince Staples - 'BagBak'

2017 ushered in a new era of hip-hop with the trap scene, and a lot of music was lost in the need to make useless hype. Vince Staples made sure he didn't follow that trend, 'BagBak' taking the best of this new era of hip-hop and making an incredible anthemic track where the beat and delivery are both just as powerful as the other.

40. Bonobo - 'Second Sun'

Atmosphere in music is and art, and few artists harness it like Bonobo can. 'Second Sun' is the sound of being lost on a foreign planet, wandering aimlessly in awe of the deserts in front of you. You get a lot out of this track, including a sense of insignificance in this wide universe. It's good to get that beautiful knock of reality once in awhile, though.

39. Nadia Reid - 'Te Aro'

Sometimes, emptiness is just as important as layers. Nadia Reid captured the mysterious nature of her home country, New Zealand, in Preservation, 'Te Aro' wonderfully tying together her wonderful storytelling lyrics and minimalist production into one unforgettable track.

38. Sufjan Stevens, Nico Muhly, Bryce Dessner, & James McAlister - 'Jupiter'

Imagine bringing together four of music's smartest minds, and then putting them to work on a concept album involving space. Well, that happened. Sufjan Stevens, Nico Muhly, The National's Bryce Dessner, and James McAlister release Planetarium this year, employing the vast and mysterious nature of space to create a truly beautiful adventure of an album, and 'Jupiter' beautifully captures the essence of it all.

37. Son Lux - 'Dangerous'

Son Lux is no stranger to drama, and 'Dangerous' is a testament to that. The dark synths and frantic production helps 'Dangerous' find its way into a horror setting, yet the drama is still inherently sensual and romanticized all the same.

36. Soen - 'Opal'

Soen's Lykaia took an in-depth look at the most visceral emotions we feel within ourselves, and 'Opal' brought out some of the angriest of those thoughts. Combine powerful passages of intense sonic moments and searching, internal lyrics and the brilliance of Soen really shines thorugh in 'Opal.'

35. SOHN - 'Rennen'

SOHN is the master of atmosphere, and the title track of his new album, 'Rennen,' was all the proof needed for that. The tragic lyrics and vocal layers above the somber piano help make 'Rennen' a dark and heartwrenching track that won't leave your mind any time soon.

34. Zola Blood - 'The Only Thing'

Nothing is more thrilling than dark pop music. Zola Blood's Infinite Games took that sound and morphed it into a brilliant collection of mystifying and dark tracks, 'The Only Thing' being the core of the sound. Sensual at heart yet haunting on its outside, it's an enchanting track from start to finish.

33. All Time Low - 'Drugs & Candy'

All Time Low are the masters of anthems, and 'Drugs & Candy' is one of the finer moments. With nothing but sweet memories and sweeter melodies to back its wonderful atmosphere, 'Drugs & Candy' stands at the center of everything that made Last Young Renegade so fun and powerful.

32. Nothing But Thieves - 'Live Like Animals'

Nothing But Thieves returned with a vengeance this year, their new record Broken Machines taking their sound a step further. 'Live Like Animals' has a much more forward and aggressive drive than a lot of their discography, though with the big choruses and the electronic punches to pair, you won't have to think twice about whether or not that was the right path for them to travel (the answer is yes, it was).

31. Brockhampton - 'Summer'

Brockhampton are a collective of production geniuses, and tha idea is spearheaded by 'Summer.' Hip-hop's boy band created a trilogy of brilliant albums with the three-part Saturation this year, and 'Summer' ended the band's second part of the trilogy. Soulful and pretty in every way, the song is an uplifting and dreamy testament to love and the future.

30. Lorde - 'Green Light'

Lorde was another artist who had to live up to an iconic debut this year, and she blew it out of the park. Lead single 'Green Light' shows maturity in a graceful way, a dark and haunting intro changing into a big pop anthem that channels all sorts of energies. It's a song about overcoming your own anxieties put into the perspective of one night, and there's no one who could've done this better than Lorde (and, of course, the brilliant mind of Jack Antonoff).

29. The Chainsmokers - 'Young'

Say what you will about The Chainsmokers, but its unquestionable that they know how to write some truly catchy songs. Take one of their songs that aren't overplayed ad nauseam and you can find some real gems, like 'Young.' It's another song about millennial love, but there's something familiar in the song's premise: "It's hard when you're young." It's all about the thrill and uncertainty of being in love when you're young, and with beautiful orchestras and wonderful builds to promise, this is a song that shows what the duo are capable of. Perhaps it's better that this one stays a hidden gem, though; we don't want what's good being overplayed to death, too.

28. Halsey - 'Sorry'

Halsey's modern telling of Romeo & Juliet came with a lot of different and interesting messages, but the one that came off the strongest was in 'Sorry.' Take the song out of the context of the record and you have a heartwrenching apology to anyone you've ever loved. It's a track that's hard to swallow for anyone who's ever felt heartbreak before, and it perfectly captures the emotions you feel in the wake of one, or fears the future of one: "So I'm sorry to my unknown lover / Sorry that I can't believe that anybody ever really / Starts to fall in love with me."

27. Incubus - 'Nimble Bastard'

Incubus returned to their anthemic roots this year in 8, with 'Nimble Bastard' holding the helm of it all for them. A badass, taunting intro and giant choruses to follow suit with, Incubus really came back with guns blazing. Everything about 'Nimble Bastard' just screams epic, and it's certainly an awesome ride from start to finish.

26. Mastodon - 'Steambreather'

Mastodon is no stranger to intensity. 'Steambreather' is the sonic representation of an angry demon, stomping impatiently during the choruses before charging and exploding in the massive choruses that anthemically chant, "I wonder who I am... I'm afraid of myself." Every note is like a punch to the face and not a second is wasted to channel every aspect of the nature of anger, every moment of the song brilliant capturing the inner workings of an enraged mind. The ending is just pure madness.

25. Frank Carter & The Rattlesnakes - 'Snake Eyes'

The ferocity of rock wasn't captured so perfectly by any other band than Frank Carter & The Rattlesnakes this year. 'Snake Eyes' has it all, with thrilling drums, giant riffs, and cavernous vocals to make this alternative anthem not only immense, but also visceral and carnivorous in its nature.

24. David Bowie - 'Killing A Little Time'

Though we lost David Bowie last year, he is long from being forgotten. The posthumous EP, No Plan, was full of interesting outtakes from the Blackstar sessions, one gem being the dark, gritty, and rocking 'Killing A Little Time.' Perfectly capturing the gritty, knowing aspects of Blackstar and injecting some of his own ghastly theatrical presence into it, David Bowie made sure his influence wasn't ready to die out any time soon.

23. Brockhampton - 'Team'

Brockhampton isn't the only outfit to make the list twice, but 'Team' is perhaps all the reason you need to see why. The beautiful first part has wonderfully heartbreaking crooning above chill guitars, before the grittier second half comes in seamlessly to bring the conclusion of the Saturation trio to a powerful end. Brockhampton's brilliance is captured in one angelic final track, and definitely serves as a standard for what should be expected of hip-hop.

22. Royal Blood - 'Lights Out'

2017 was undoubtedly the year of important sophomore releases, yet there was not band quite like Royal Blood who so surely blew out all the expectations. Without dropping any of their charm or niche, the band returned with the powerful, upfront, and driven 'Lights Out,' complete with simply giant choruses, enormous low end, and loads of swagger to back one of music's biggest follow ups.

21. Frances - 'Don't Worry About Me'

The feeling of stepping out into the world for the first time is both exhilarating and scary, and also serves as the subject of Frances' Things I've Never Said. 'Don't Worry About Me' is the opening track of the record, capturing those initial insecurities everyone feels when stepping out into the world, and the insecurities the ones who love you feel all the same. It's a track about reassurance, and something to connect to whether or not you're yet to step out into the world or if you've done it a long time ago. It's important to remember where it all started, and 'Don't Worry About Me' promises that even though it's scary, everything will work out in the end; an important sentiment to remember.

20. Sorority Noise - 'First Letter From St. Sean'

Sorority Noise's sense of tragedy was what made You're Not As _____ As You Think so impactful. At the center of it all is 'First Letter From St. Sean,' a dejected, somber track that has traces of optimism in its sound but screams out in pain. The ominous lyrics chant "I am not alive, I didn't mean to leave you when I died / I was too scared you might be the one to leave / There's so much more to life than the flick of a knife / I am alive 'cause I'm alive inside of this," a clear cry for help but lost under apparent hope that it takes some digging to find that answer.

19. Linkin Park - 'Crawling' (Live)

Linkin Park was amidst one of their best tours in years before Chester Bennington tragically committed suicide this year. With the world holding them up, the band refuesd to let his spirit die and be forgotten. From an incredible memorial show to countless fan-created memorials, Linkin Park and their community made sure his spirit was alive in our hearts. Linkin Park only hit Europe on their One More Light European Tour this summer, and they wanted to share, at least in part, how magically those shows were. The piano version of 'Crawling' the band performed is perhaps one of the most beautiful moments on One More Light Live, stripping down one of the band's classics to reveal the song's more personal tragic nature, millions of fans singing along with Chester the lyrics that meant so much to every one of them. The track doesn't only highlight the incredible voice of Bennington, but just how important the songs they made were to an innumerable number of fans.

18. 10 Years - 'Ghosts'

When you make a jamming track, an element of intensity is important. 10 Years does it perfectly with 'Ghosts,' an explosive track with giant vocals, giant riffs, and everything that excites and thrills you is part of this song. The alternative presence makes this song a staple for any rock radio, and is bound to get you ready to rock and take on anything ahead.

17. Mount Eerie - 'Swims'

There's an unforgiving sense of reality in Mount Eerie's A Crow Looked At Me, an album all about losing the most important person to you to the demon that is cancer. 'Swims' is the saddest, realest moment on the record, where Phil Elverum recounts watching his wife die in his arms. The pain is evident in every note he plays, the lyrics making the story even harder to swallow; the track's title derives from the innocence of a question his daughter asked him: "Today our daughter asked me if mama swims. I told her, 'Yes, she does, and that's probably all she does now.'"

16. Starset - 'Back To The Earth'

Nothing's quite as epic as a space epic, and that's the entire premise of Starset's sound. Vessels was the follow up to their giant debut, and it certainly lived up to expectations. 'Back To The Earth' is urgent, grand, and beautiful, sounding like a war being fought in space or the sound of returning home after a long journey into the great unknown. It's almost tragic, but the orchestras in the final, giant explosion of ending help it achieve that triumphant feel.

15. Peter Silberman - 'Maya'

Imagine a perfect sunset where the sun is setting over the sea, the sky violet, scarlet, and blue all at once. Imagine being along on a paradise island, by yourself with nothing but the ambience of the ocean and the warmth of the final rays of sunlight washing over you. That's the atmosphere 'Maya' creates, it's lo-fi sound so familiar and nostalgic yet captured in such a perfect atmosphere that it seems almost too sweet to be real. Not even the sweetest dreams could emulate the perfect sound of this track.

14. Kendrick Lamar - 'DNA.'

Kendrick Lamar is the unquestioned king of hip-hop, and for good reason. There's urgency in his music, often along with comments about the state of society. 'DNA.' is not only delivered in an epic fashion, but delivers a scathing picture of the stigmas that still exist against hip-hop and the daunting state of racism. Take that with an epic beat and unstoppable flow, and it's clear to see why Kendrick owns hip-hop.

13. Coldplay - 'A L I E N S'

Coldplay isn't the first band you think of when thinking of artists who make bold statements about society in their music, but they are certainly capable of it. 'A L I E N S' is a beautiful, atmospheric track about the refugee crisis taking over the world right now in the midst of tragedies taking place in the Middle East right now. It's from a refugee's perspective, in their search for a new home in unfamiliar lands once their previous home is gone. It's a very complex track performance wise and an even more powerful track meaning-wise, proving to be one of Coldplay's most unique tracks.

12. Ed Sheeran - 'Supermarket Flowers'

Ed Sheeran's Divide came out at the start of the year, before tragedy struck the industry, yet that didn't stop anyone from releasing heartbreaking tracks about loss. 'Supermarket Flowers' ended his record, a beautiful, piano-driven goodbye to his grandmother. Sheeran gets incredibly intimate about the moments he shared with her and sends her off in an angelic and heartbreaking way. 'Supermarket Flowers' is sure to hit you hard if you've ever lost someone important to you. The song beautifully ends with one final, bittersweet sentiment: "You got to see the person I have become / Spread your wings and I know / That when God took you back / He said, "Hallelujah, you're home."

11. Justin Bieber & BloodPop - 'Friends'

'Friends' wasn't the first jaunt between Justin Bieber and BloodPop; the two previously collaborated on the mega-hit 'Sorry,' so it's a no-brainer that the duo are capable of huge things. 'Friends' is a sweet song about love, Bieber asking almost tragically, "and if it ends, can we be friends?" The song wasn't an enormous hit, but perhaps that's for the best. 'Friends' is a beautiful capturing of that emotion of wanting someone to still be a part of your life, and paired with BloodPop's masterful production, it's a song that has earned a reputation as a hidden pop gem.

10. Paramore - 'Fake Happy'

Paramore's big return came with a surprising new face. Stripped from their angstier past, Paramore's After Laughter explored that inescapable emotion that the good moments are fleeting. There's always that moment after laughing where you realize that moment is no longer there, and perhaps never will be again. The inward searching record revolves around the themes of 'Fake Happy,' where Hayley Williams so honestly cries out, "Oh please, don't ask me how I've been, don't make me play pretend... I bet everyone here is fake happy too."

9. Julien Baker - 'Appointments'

Julien Baker is a tortured soul, and she wore her heart on her sleeve in this year's Turn Out The Lights. A heartbreaking album dealing with every tragedy one can face while walking through life, from heartbreak to addiction to loss, it's perhaps most wonderfully summed up in 'Appointments.' There's little words can do to describe the quiet beauty of the song, though you can perhaps get a full sense of all the tragedy of the song from the sobering lines: "How I disappoint you / Suggest that I talk to somebody again / That knows how to help me get better / And 'til then I should just try not to miss any more appointments."

8. Gorillaz - 'Saturnz Barz'

Gorillaz had a lot to say upon their big comeback, but nothing stood out as grandly as 'Saturnz Barz.' Employing the Jamaican emcee Popcaan to add an element to the song that few songs can claim, Gorillaz explore space with dark melodies and borderline-schizophrenic sounds to back their psychedelic dream.

7. Imagine Dragons - 'Believer'

Imagine Dragons know how to deliver empowering anthems, and 'Believer' may be one of their most powerful tracks to do so yet. The driven percussion and guttural synths support Dan Reynolds' giant vocals and uplifting lyrics, the choruses immense in every aspect of the word. Every chorus gets grander, and every word makes the song's message more powerful. Imagine Dragons are all you'll need to find the power to believe in what you want to accomplish.

6. Brand New - '451'

The art of groove is slowly being lost in alternative rock, yet the perfectionist mind of Brand New's Jesse Lacey managed to bring it back wonderfully in '451.' The bluesy verses lead into truly explosive choruses. Layers upon layers of percussion, guitars, and vocals build the expansive atmosphere of '451,' making it impossible to not get lost in the song's massive sound. The final chorus gets even higher, one final explosion of passion coming out with massive flair.

We do not endorse nor condone the actions of Jesse Lacey, we merely comment on the nature of the music.

5. Arcane Roots - 'Curtains'

Few bands can be so technical yet incredible anthemic like Arcane Roots are. Fully embracing electronica in Melancholia Hymns, 'Curtains' was the first taste of new music from them, and to say it was dramatic is an understatement. The theatrical swells of the synths and Andrew Groves' almost mechanical lyrics eerily overlie the darkness below leads into an epic, crushing breakdown that brings the song out on a massive note. This level of grandiose is only something Arcane Roots are capable of.

4. Thirty Seconds To Mars - 'Walk On Water'

Thirty Seconds To Mars is a band that knows how to take things to the next level. That being said, it's no surprise that the lead single to the band's upcoming album, 'Walk On Water,' is one of the biggest tracks of the year. With confident chanting, a glorious gospel, giant synths, and huge vocals from Jared Leto, 'Walk On Water' is the anthem for any success story. It's the soundtrack of overcoming the highest mountains and rising to the largest occasions.

3. PVRIS - 'What's Wrong'

All We Know Of Heaven, All We Need Of Hell was another album that came out at an important time for me. Major heartbreak is a dangerous thing, and PVRIS beautifully captured the essence of that. 'What's Wrong' was both one of the most impactful songs that I connected with, and at the some time one of the more powerful tracks on the record. It comes with a powerful, yet simple message: it's okay to not be okay. As Lynn Gunn so wonderfully claims in the chorus, "I don't need a metaphor for you to know I'm miserable." It's angry yet anthemic build perfectly pairs with the emotions the song discusses, leading to an all encompassing track that captures everything about that specific emotion, a quality in which only PVRIS are the masters of.

2. Linkin Park - 'One More Light'

To say the loss of Chester Bennington was a tragedy for the music industry is an understatement. On July 20, the world lost a hero. A hero who brought life and hope back into millions upon millions of souls. One More Light was an album about battling depression and the effects it has on relationships and humanity, but unfortunately the world understood that too late. 'One More Light' has become the song of goodbyes this year. It's hard hearing Chester sing, and perhaps it'll never get easier to listen to this song. All the same, there's a reassuring nature in the chorus' heartbreaking lyrics: "Who cares if one more light goes out? Well I do." If we've learned anything about ourselves this year, it's that that sentiment will always reign true, no matter who you are. Chester lives on in our hearts, and his soul will never die.

1. Linkin Park - 'Sorry For Now'

Linkin Park is on this list three times for a good reason - there's no band with the vision that they have. Regardless of what you think of them, this band has defined everything great about music: evolution. 'Sorry For Now' is a song that means a lot to me personally, and was one of the songs that helped me through the darkest month of my life. After Chester's passing, I couldn't listen to the band's music for weeks, but when I finally came back to this one, I remembered there was still a future ahead of me. Heartbreak, loss, and confidence is interlaced into the beautiful anthemic synths and harmonies of 'Sorry For Now,' showcasing Mike Shinoda's ability to turn anything to gold, show the chemistry that made Linkin Park so impactful, and most of all, why they are and always will be one of the most important bands to ever exist. And to tie that all together, why they'll always be one of my favorite bands.

Want to hear all these songs? Check out our official Spotify Playlist:

You can check out how we ranked all of our favorite songs of 2017 on the full comprehensive list here. Stay tuned for our Best New Artists and Album Of The Year lists!

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tumbleon · 7 years ago

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What stories are yours?

When the long-awaited memoir from Flying Nun record label boss Roger Shepherd came out last winter, I sat on my hands for a bit. On the one hand, it was highly relevant to my doctorate on the everyday lives of South Island rock musicians. On the other hand, the going rate for a new local paperback in New Zealand is forty dollars.

Cover of Flying Nun founder Roger Shepherd’s 2016 memoir

If the reviews were anything to go by, it seemed to be a pleasant, fast, well-written take on Christchurch and Dunedin in the early 1980s. Only one review took issue with the book, and the comments accused the author of being petty or vindictive for personal reasons. That review stood out the most, but for a different reason. It said the book told the “heartbreaking” story of Peter Gutteridge.

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Peter very much alive, doing what he does best in the 1988 video for ‘Buddy’ directed by Stuart Page.

It’s a big word, heartbreaking. It’s hard to read when your heart did feel like it broke in half the day he died. And every time you remember, a little part of it breaks again.

After reading that review of Roger Shepherd’s memoir I sucked it up and bought a brand new copy for $36.99. It was a source of great hope. It was a beautiful chance to spend time with new pieces of Peter that may have not yet existed.

Roger didn’t write much about Peter in the early years of Flying Nun.

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The beautifully simple, yet eminently hypnotic bassline at the heart of The Clean’s ‘Point That Thing Somewhere Else’ was written by Peter at the age of 17

There was one comment that made me smile: Roger wrote that Peter was good-looking, talented and smart.

Photograph of Peter Gutteridge by Terry Moore, date unknown.

The end of the sentence, I liked less. Although Roger hadn’t seen Peter in his later years, there was four pages of anecdotal hearsay about the last weeks of Peter’s life. My tongue tasted black bile. I closed the book.

Anthropologists, ethnographers, sociologists and oral historians all stress the importance of reflection. There are so many places where your personal affections can colour what you are writing. The only way to get around that is to admit your bias and be as honest as you can.

There was an irony in the distaste as I read passages about Peter written by someone who had a lot more of an impact on his life than I did. After all, Roger was the person who made it possible for Peter’s music to be heard by the masses. What is my place in all of this? How could I feel more ownership than Roger Shepherd?

When we played our second show ever at the Crown Hotel in Dunedin in June, I thanked The Biscuits for inviting us on tour, and then thanked Brenda for our name.

“It was easy,” she replied from next to Dave. “Peter Gutteridge.”

Brenda had given us the name “PGX” as a placeholder when booking the tour after liking a song I wrote about Peter.

“I think PGX might stick,” Mary said the morning after our first show.

“The consonants are clack-y,” I agreed.

“P-G-X,” we chanted at the same time. Our eyes lit up. We did it again. P-G-X!

If you took away the context, PGX was fun and ambiguous and vague. It was better than The Expats. Mary hated that name. The consonants were good, but the context killed it – which as Mary put it went: “Hey, want to come see a local gig? We’re not from around here.”

It wasn’t hard to think about Peter when we played The Crown Hotel in Dunedin this winter. I had seen him play there many times. The place is still plastered with Snapper posters. There is a collage dedicated to Peter at the end of the bar.

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Peter Gutteridge doing a guest spot in Chris Heazlewood’s band The Forty Winks at The Crown Hotel in Dunedin in 2012.

I thought maybe finishing our first tour would feel elating. Instead finishing with the song about Peter felt like shooting an arrow into the darkness and striking the black vein that runs through Dunedin. It was like ripping open your heart and holding it out still beating. People cheered, a bit. We thanked them. I was a wreck.

“What were you expecting?” my bandmates pressed.

I wasn’t expecting the black cloud to swallow my heart again three years on as quickly as it did.

When we first played the song back at Jane’s Bar in the Christchurch suburb of Linwood back in March, I said, “This is a song for Peter Gutteridge” and one guy in the back cried, “Yeah.”

I pointed my finger to the back of the bar. “Yes, sir.” I agreed. “That’s right.”

After the show, a woman clasped my hands and said that she knew Peter, and had been sent to the bar that night to hear my song.

In Dunedin, the room is different. Everyone in there has had an experience with Peter. It’s like the song is like, “Hey, remember this guy?” And everyone in the room goes, “Yeah, I do.” Real flat. “Thanks. Thanks for triggering that and dredging it all back up for us.”

Nikolai’s face was like stone in the front row. Erica walked up to me with tears streaming.

Erica and I met seven years back while on tour with the Wellington band Full Moon Fiasco around the South Island. Erica was the VJ; I was there to bear witness.

Erica adjusting the spinning wheel that she used for animations on Full Moon Fiasco’s winter 2010 South Island tour, Chicks Hotel, Dunedin, New Zealand, 20 August 2010.

That was the band that first introduced me to Dunedin as a band would see it, and the tales of Peter that less than six months later transformed into a friendship in a supermarket.

Three months later, Erica and I waded through the tall, wet grass that ran alongside Peter’s house to get close enough to holler through the kitchen window and get him to let us in. Peter wasn’t answering his door again, but that was normal. His house was long and thin.

Peter was home, and he loved Erica, who also performs under the name Lady Lazer Light. Of course he did. Peter stayed with Erica in Wellington years later, after Danny joined the reformed Snapper and they toured the North Island. At one point, Peter took everyone out on an elaborate quest for a pure source of drinking water after the tap water in Wellington did not appeal to him. Erica had last crossed paths with Peter on the streets of Wellington on her birthday a few months before his death. After he handed her a cross as a birthday present and said, “I can’t wear this anymore, but maybe you could,” she worried about him, a bit.

“I’m crying,” was all Erica said.

“Erica!” I wrapped her in a hug.

“I really liked your song.”

“Thank you.” We held each other, my guitar squeezed between us.

I told Nikolai about how the song had come into my head as I watched him play at Peter’s memorial.

He smiled. “Cool.”

We drank pitchers of black Speights until Jones nudged us out at two thirty in the morning.

At our departmental morning tea the following week, Peter Stapleton mentioned that he had seen our set. “You were great!”

“Really?” I smiled. “Thank you. I wasn’t sure how the Peter song would go down.”

“It was mixed,” he admitted. “I knew Peter. I was next to people who played with Peter.”

And who am I? I get it. They have no reason to care for an American talking about one of their friends.

That’s what we will always be, from the first word we speak, Mary and I agreed. American.

“Be careful there,” Winston insisted. “Keep yourself in check. You’re on their turf.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t play the song in Dunedin,” I mused.

“Oh no, you have to play it,” Winston said. “Always play it. That’s your tribute. Just don’t expect everyone to feel the same way that you do about it.”

Earlier this week the police’s version of the story was released as the inquest into Peter’s death in state care began.

This is a sick and twisted world, I thought at the grand photo of Peter below the district court where the inquest was taking place.

Phantom Billstickers poster of Peter Gutteridge photographed by Hayley Theyers, in the car park below Albert Street in Auckland, New Zealand, August 2017. And a little bit of Stuart Page, one of Peter’s best friends, in the lower left hand corner.

The lines between memory and myth are fuzzier than most people realise. What constitutes honesty when the same thing can be seen as either loyalty or clouding allegiance? Where does that boundary lie in a community that tells its own stories to itself a hundred times before they leave the islands?

Less than three hours after listening to Pure in a backyard in Grey Lynn I was back in Christchurch, heading to the darkroom. Our band originally had a gig, but when Mary and I ended up being the only members in town, we decided to turn it into an open mic night instead.

Ray’s girlfriend Amy had stacked the audience with classmates of hers from NASDA – song and dance theatre students with an average age of about 20. Her theatre background also made her feedback on our performances interesting. Before our Battle of the Bands heat, she talked about entering songs with presence, as an actor would assume a role they were to perform at the theatre.

“Before you sing a song, think: What do I want to achieve here?” Amy said. “Are you just singing a song, or are you channeling the feelings that you had when you wrote it?”

We only had to play 15 minutes to break the ice. The original plan was to do one or two of our own songs, but also set the tone by returning to some of our first covers.

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Who doesn’t subconsciously know how to sing the chorus of Poison’s ‘Every Rose Has Its Thorn’, amirite?

But we hadn’t played those in years. I had forgotten the date the inquest began and raced off earlier in the week, leaving us no time to practice.

“What if we just did our songs?” I asked with minutes to go. “We’ve played them so many more times. We know those.”

Mary held up a few fingers. “Flowers. Merchant...”

“Let’s do Peter,” I said.

“I wasn’t sure if it was too soon...” Mary said hesitantly.

“No.” My stare was like ice. “I can do it.”

“All right,” I said after we rambled through a few songs last night. “This last one is for Peter Gutteridge. I don’t know if that name is familiar to any of you.”

No one said a word.

They listened politely.

We let it roar.

#new zealand #south island #christchurch #dunedin #flying nun #peter gutteridge #music #full moon fiasco #elan vital #lady lazer light

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