#still not sure how to tag things ʅ（◞‿◟）ʃ

[lady-bee-holmes]

All three whales are officially semi-done! They just need a beaded outline and then I can start working on the jacket itself! Out of order, perhaps, but I was just too excited for whales 😅

[tarajenkins]

Another private little FFXIV-related vent--well, little for me, lol. So if you click this link, it’s quite politely your own fault  ⸜( ˙˘˙)⸝ ♡

BUT

I sub to Vauthry's mentions and tag on Twitter, because occasionally there's actually content, and occasionally, I actually remember that my Twitter account exists. I’m pretty sure that’s why people go there, for content. Twice in the course of this week, though, his mentions have brought randos who seem to be talking about me, unless there’s another overactive Vauthry artist on Tumblr. I’m also like 98% of the Vauthry art on Twitter, so it’s probably me? But even if it’s not me, that still brings us to these thoughts under this break.

(Nice ableism, but even if this was not aimed at me, who takes psych evals from internet shitlords)

They call “simping Vauthry” "cringe" while the entirety of their account rotates around how thirsty they are for the latest FFXIV flavor of the month. The most hilarious thing is, they still reblogged my Hyth art here on Tumblr. Me, a “cringe” Vauthry artist. Tell me you're a fatshaming clown without telling me you're a fatshaming clown, welcome to the block list.  It doesn’t take confidence to “simp” a fat character. I am not a confident person. It also doesn’t take “insanity”.  All it takes is not thinking that enjoying a fat character is some OH MY GOD SHAMEFUL thing. All it takes is not being an asshole about fat people. 

I’m an asshole in other ways.  ʅ₍ッ₎ʃ  (And yes, 4 a.m. currently seems to be “morning” to my insomniac mind.) Since it turned out we shared a mutual, I assume that's why they deleted later.

In which the unique “other characters look like shit!!1” defense is also played, seriously fandom why are you like this

So the actual poster mentioning a Vauthry artist is upset about "proshipping"? I don't even know what that means. Wait a sec-- Ah, “proshipper” apparently means that the artist in question must think “antishippers” are shitty bullies. Reading comprehension really is on the downturn in this fandom. But guilty as charged if it’s me! \o/

In any case, apparently this would make me unqualified to call out all the hypocritical shit I've directly experienced regarding this character over the past two years, lmao.

As of now, that post has disappeared too, at least. I can always hope they realized they were wrong.

I am fix-it arting the shitty fatphobic dump Square took on the game with Eulmore for my own enjoyment and relief. To pretend that the writers really didn’t sink to such a  juvenile level, to pretend the fandom at large didn’t accept it. That’s all. But there are people who really have to come seek it out to point and laugh. "The girl on Tumblr who simps for Vauthry” is used like it’s an insult, while  every other character is received as :) teehee hello fellow simper! (I also still have no idea how stating “Tempering babies in the womb is fucked up” equals simping, lol.) My vents against certain other characters lie solely in their actions and how the writers handle them. The vents of others against Vauthry, though, always manage to boil down to “grossness” and “disgust”, because Yoshi-P said fat people equal all the evil of mankind in the ShB trailer--and the fandom bought it with no questions asked. There are even still people who scream Eulmore had slavery, even though the dialogues clearly state “hired” and "employed” and speak of salaries--yet somehow legitimate fascist fantasy empires are uwu forgivable uwu.  Giving a fat character the same level of consideration that fandom darling characters receive--it's such an audacious idea, isn’t it? This is the “great community”. My anger at the bodyshaming has been tone-policed before, and I was called “too mean” by someone who felt that invalidated the points they admitted I made. Meanwhile at that time, some jackass sagenodded that bullying fat people was ~just concern for their wellbeing~ without backlash. That didn’t count as “mean”. Fat jokes about Vauthry on /r/FFXIV sometimes still make the sub’s front page to this day. That doesn’t count as “mean”.

Everyone wants to be so progressive and positive about Dulia-Chai, but crickets when this happens, every time. 

When I got angry about a certain fandom darling character, and said that character chose their actions? People were encouraged to not follow me/unfollowed me. (Turns out said character did have choice after all, short one “little tug”. Oopsie!) No negativity in this fandom is allowed--unless someone is being fatphobic, then the fandom will hold their flower and instead tell the people who are angry about it that they’re being ~too mean~. It’s a bad look, FFXIV fandom. Reblogging Dulia is great, but not equally discouraging fat hate no matter the character is telling.

Sure, I could unsub from the Twitter mentions and tags. But why should I? Sure, I could grin and bear it--these tweets weren’t the only ones over two years. But why should I? How about the fandom do more than pay lip service on how ~welcoming~ and ~inclusive~ it is, instead? Because it has a really obvious problem with fat bodies, and Dulia is not a free pass. It isn’t an aberration to have interest in a fat character. It especially isn’t a goddamn fetish. The problem is the people who see it as an aberration, and assume a fetish is the only way you could possibly ever give a damn about a fat person.  It’s not that hard, FFXIV fandom. 

TL;DR: Don't be shy, bring it to my face next time! I promise I will gladly return the favor. ( ᐛ )b  

[turquoiseorange]

11 Questions

RULES:

1. Always post the rules 2. Answer the questions given by the person who tagged you 3. Write 11 questions of your own 4. Tag 11 people

I was tagged by @secretlysora !! I love answering questions but I don’t get them very often. So this is a nice change haha, thank you (〃ω〃)

Brianna’s Questions:

1. How many hours of sleep do you get each night? Depends on the time of year haha. When I’m in school I think the average is about 5-6 hours, and on breaks I try to sleep in so maybe 6-8 hours then? I go to bed late and wake up relatively early (either because of school, or my mom wakes me up) so I don’t get a lot of sleep tbh

2. What’s your favorite time of day, and why? I think nighttime would be my favorite time of day because that’s when I “go to bed”. I use air quotes because I really just stay up and play games or read stuff on the internet. It’s pretty nice because the house is super quiet, and I get to do whatever as long as my phone has enough battery haha

3. What are three things you’ve always wanted to do? frig that’s a tough one uhhhh 1) I’ve always wanted to have one of those quintessential college moments with the local coffee house/ slam poetry place. The one example that comes to mind is like in the Xtremely Goofy Movie when they just go to the coffee house , and it’s like a really cool place near campus where they can chill and hang out y'know 2) I’ve wanted to try out ice skating tbh. I used to have quite a few friends growing up that we’re either really good at it, or at least visited the rink a lot, and that got me interested. There were even a couple opportunities for me to go through school, but the timing didn’t work out so I couldn’t go. Less people I know go, now that we’re older, but it still seems like an interesting thing to try out 3) ??? Idk lol

4. What was your favorite memory from last year? I really liked getting to tour colleges with my dad last year. One of the trips we went to Arizona and Chicago (cause I got accepted to ASU and DePaul), and as part of the trip we would check out what the area has to offer. Y'know, to make sure it’d be a nice place to live while I’m staying at college. Chicago was my favorite place, aesthetically speaking. I took so many pictures when we were there.. Plus we got to check out the museums, which is always fun. We walked down from our hotel to the planetarium (because I friggen LOVE space), grabbed a Chicago dog for lunch, then after went to the Natural History museum. Personally the area is a little too densely populated for my taste, but from the few days we spent over there, it was really nice.

5. If you could be any age for a week, what age would you choose to be? I’m pretty happy with my age rn tbh (18). I am considered to be an adult by the law, so I can do stuff like get tattoos or lotto tickets if I wanted, but at the same time I don’t have all the responsibilities of an adult yet because I’m still kinda on the young side.

6. What is a habit you’re proudest of breaking, or one you want to break? One I’m proud of breaking is how much I used to rely on the people around me. Of course when times are bad I ask for help, but in general I think I’m becoming more comfortable in myself? One habit I want to break is biting my nails. I’ve tried to break it a few times since I was a kid, but usually something stressful comes up and I end up biting them again. I guess in order to do that I’ll have to manage my stress first? ha..

7. When you were really little, what did you want to be when you grew up? The two things I wanted to be when I was a kid was either a veterinarian or a singer. I remember when I was in elementary they had us do a project where we wrote letters to people who had the professions we wanted, and ask them for advice if we had the chance to do that job later. For the vet I wrote to a local clinic, and for the singer I wrote to Billy Joel because Green Day was one of my favorite bands of the time. As I got older though, I realized I’m slightly better than average at singing, and I don’t have the heart to be a vet (I get really upset when animals are injured). So instead I’m working towards being an animator haha…

8. What do you love the most about yourself? (tbh this is another hard one for me to answer? ha) uh I like how neat my handwriting is. Since middle school I’ve written a lot of stories on the side, personal ideas and whatnot. My methods of writing meant I would physically write my ideas out, type them and print, then write over with edits and more details, type them and print, and repeat until I either was satisfied with that copy or I got bored with it. So since I wrote so much in those scenarios, my handwriting got better and better over time. I’ve gotten a lot of compliments since high school about how neat it looks, as if it were printed, and that’s pretty cool.

9. What are you looking forward to this year? I’m looking forward to taking Astronomy in my next semester of college ♪( ´▽｀) and more art classes so I can practice more haha

10. What are your favorite hobbies? I love writing and drawing. I don’t draw as much as I should, but once I get back from my trip (in two weeks?) then I’ll make a regimine again. Maybe do a color pallet spam again heh. As for writing, I have a bunch of personal stories I’ve been meaning to work on, but didn’t have the attention span because I was focusing on studies (totally worth bc last semester I got a 4.0 woohoooo). But like with drawing, I want to come up with a schedule so I can make some progress on my stories. (Or maybe.. I could even finish one)

11. What’s something you can’t live without? Social contact hhhhh. I know usually the go-to for people is electronics, like the phone or the computer, but I’ve had both of those taken away and it’s not that big of a deal. What is a big deal for me though is not being able to talk to people. Even if it’s just saying ‘hi’ to each other, and that’s it, all day that’s cool. But not having the option even to do that kills me. Similar situation with physical contact.. Usually it only happens when I talk with specific people though. Like if I lost contact with both neko-chan and my bf at the same time I’d probably die right then and there

My Questions:

1. What is your ideal future?

2. What is one goal you want to accomplish within the next year?

3. What fictional character do you think resembles you the most, and why?

4. What type of music do you like to listen to in order to make you feel better?

5. What was your favorite T.V show when you were growing up?

6. What was your first introduction to social media? How long ago was that?

7. If you could have any animal in the world as your pet, what would it be and why?

8. What is the most important thing to you right now?

9. Is there someone or something that has dramatically changed your life?

10. What is your favorite time of the year, and why?

11. What is your favorite type of drink, and what is the ideal scenario you’d have it in?

I don’t have 11 people to tag ʅ（◞‿◟）ʃ so I’m gonna just tag @crookedlovestory @bbpoltergiest @peanutbutter-jellysquid (If you guys are interested in answering the questions, go ahead. If not, I’ll just say hi and hope you have a good day lol)

[jenology-archive]

OH AND STRAY KIDS I LOVE THEM, they are so talented and charming, I can't wait to see them debut. okay, can I ask why Jeno is your bias? like what maw you fall for him, and was him your first bias or you had others (in NCT)? and I'm thinking on to get a name to sign my asks?¿? but I don't know what Aaah I love you sweetie, have a good weekend and take a lot of care of yourself💕 (hey, I don't want to be a stubborn so if this asks makes you unconfortable pls tell me and I'll stop)

omg I’m so glad to hear you love stray kids as well!! they’re such a spectacular bunch of guys and I think they deserve the world 😔💝💖💓 do you have a bias or two yet?

and of course you can ask, feel free to ask anything you’d like as long as it’s appropriate! it doesn’t make me uncomfortable, it makes me happy to know that you care :’)my jeno origin story… aha… that’s a bit of a long one, so I’ll talk about it under the cut!!

i would LOVE it if you could sign off your asks, it’s so cute and I’d love to give you your own special tag💘 you’d be my first regular anon, gosh you’re so precious and I love you lots too! I seriously get so excited for your asks everyday! I hope you have a good weekend too sugar plum, you take care of yourself too 💐☀️🌈💞💗

so about how I became a jeno stan! it’s a bit of a messy story honestly bddndn,,,,the first time I ever saw him was on MMC, but I literally didn’t know anyone on the show except for mark (I barely knew a thing about smrookies, specifically the actual rookies, but i guess i knew mark because we’re from the same city?) and I thought the other rookies were just a bunch of other kids who were actors or something!! I actually only watched a certain episode of MMC because xiumin of exo was on it, in 2015 I was a diehard exo-l and minseok-l so ʅ（◞‿◟）ʃ

I didn’t know jeno’s name, I did think he was super cute though (he and herin REALLY CAUGHT MY EYE) but at the same time I didn’t really “care” enough so I never looked into them!

when nct dream became a thing I wasn’t really interested (I’m pretty sure at that point I was still a major bts stan) but jeno caught my eye again. I knew I liked him “at first sight” but I was (sorta) friends with this other girl who decided she wanted to stan him: this would’ve been just fine if she wasn’t a possessive stan!!! she didn’t like that I was a taehyung stan so I ended up switching my bias from tae to jin in bts, so I decided to save myself the trouble that time and I was like “okay, I like haechan” though I didn’t really intend on stanning them anyways

I guess I’ve been a fan since nct u debuted with t7s but I was always more into their music rather than members,,,, eventually I started getting interested in the members but not too much!!! gosh I remember the simple days when I was like “I think I’m just a jaehyun / mark / johnny stan” I WASNT THAT INTO DREAM AT ALL AND THOUGHT IT WOULD BE EASIEST TO JUST SAY MARK WAS MY DREAM BIAS NDNDDB and even later on I was like “yeah I guess I’m a haechan stan” but yknow,,,, jeno’s always been there,,,,,

I did end up losing contact with the friend who said she wanted to stan jeno idk where she is nowadays but when I really decided to forget about her I felt kind of more willing? to actually pay attention to jeno and i admit even then i sort of pushed him away i was like tHIS ISNT HAPPENING IM NOT EVEN THAT INTO NCT DREAM but that was all Fake….. dndndndndsn

the guilt ate me alive i ended up going through some dreamie content and i’m so glad i did because the dream boys. are absolutely stellar!!!!!!! jeno definitely caught my attention he always does I just found him so interesting regardless of how soft spoken he was HES REALLY JUST A SWEET AND CHARMING BOY???? I also really fell in love with his stage presence at first,,, I just thought “that jeno boy really is something”….. but instead of just finding him inspirational i just really fell head over heels 🤧💕💕💓💗💕💝💖 there’s definitely so much to love about him I don’t really know who else I consider as actual biases in nct, I don’t even know if I can have some per unit but I just know that jeno has my heart!! thank you for asking love, sorry this is a big mess oof