#still my impulse is to undo my progress and fetch and hoard them.
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the urge to declutter things i haven't used in three to seven years vs. the urge to hoard everything i've ever owned
#rubia speaks#going thru this with both the grody old costume rings from my teenage years i binned#and some shirts from 2021 i have set aside to send to the thrift store bc the inside texture is plasticky as hell#excising these from my life frees space and gives me ease of mind from clutter. and yet#still my impulse is to undo my progress and fetch and hoard them.#but. it's not really about the rings or the shirts is it. i wore both to a place i love and now can't return to#giving up these items feels like giving up another part of that time. but i also don't want to be a hoarder#when i think rationally i think 'thank goodness i don't have to feel those textures again. and maybe someone else will like the shirts'#but when i let myself feel something about it i don't want to make progress i just want to bundle my life together safely#and never let go of anything at all. i guess it's been a hard few years. and i'm scared of losing things#i can't protect the things that are most important so instead it's easy to hang onto Stuff
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