#still love kain though!!!

[2000sanimeop]

holy lord, the FFIV final boss is nonsense.

[moondwellerthatdwells]

Imagine digging up the whole room to find early au art from like 2020-2023... couldnt be me... like...

First ever drawing from the year of 2020. Back then im still with the classic Varian is secretly the moonstone concept

This is when i thought like.. hes just gonna grab the moonstone, like just snatch it and run, no sentient moon

Played around with his armor and stuff, the design of the armor is terrible because i cant draw

This is when i went "hey what if the moonstone attached itself to his hands... hey thats kinda cool.."

And then it turned into this

From 2021-2022 idk remember what happened but i fell out of the fandom, AND i revive it in 2023! This is 2023! This is when the real lore begin!

Dumb doodle

Skip about a month or so, new artstyle, the armor under clothes concept was born from here. So was all the other plots.

And skip to when I publish it on tumblr dot com now that I'm no longer in the fnaf youtuber prison and no longer cares about forcing myself to make content for a fandom I'm no longer in!! I am sticking to tangled like gum sticking in hair!!

[scarletspider2the2ndpower]

“Kaine,” Web of Spider-Man (Vol. 3/2024), #1.

Writer: Steve Foxe; Penciler: Greg Land; Inker: Jay Leisten; Letterer: Frank D’Armata

[micromys]

Don't mind me, just coming down from the High of seeing the NieR: end of data orchestral concert -- and if you're going to see it, perhaps don't read farther than this if you want to preserve the experience.

I had wondered if the new script Yoko Taro wrote would be another post-game story, and indeed it was, which made me a little nervous for 2B and 9S because YT is the way he is. And I had reason to be, as it leads off with 9S and 2B traveling together, but each of them are preoccupied with the fact that 2B's black box is failing because of how it was damaged when A2 killed her. Naturally, being themselves, they try to keep this from each other, not realizing that they both know, obviously.

They end up on a journey to find stray transporters in order to stock up on replacement YoRha parts, but these transporters seem to be leading them to them purposefully, and every time they do find one, they are inundated with memories from the old world -- specifically, from the time of Replicant. They learn about the plague, about Nier, Kaine, Yonah and Emil, and about the Shadowlord. They even end up at the ruins of Emil's mansion (which sparked a gasp from someone near me in the audience).

2B is pretty resigned to her fate, but 9S gets more frantic, wishing he could give her his own black box, and they go through Many More trials and Many More memories before essentially ending up in chapel created by dying YoRHa soldiers, where 2B herself, naturally, also dies.

9S cries and curses and prays, asking if this is a punishment, and why, if it's indeed what it is, then was he not taken instead of her (though we know what happens in that particular scenario, thank you for the suffering, YT). 2B is saved, however, by the souls of the fallen YoRHa soldiers -- whose black boxes responded to 9S's pleas and filled in her damage with their own pieces.

Clinging to each other, they make it back into the sunlight -- 2B stating her one wish is to take away 9S's pain, and 9S stating his is to bring back her smile. Both agree that there's no meaning to the world, and that they are cursed, but that they are going to continue forward together and embrace the world anyway.

Which was all part of the performance of Weight of the World, interspersed with clips of all of their most important scenes together from the game. And I might have gotten a tad emotional, though not nearly as much as the dude sobbing behind me. Respect, dude.

And then Yoko Taro popped up, SO THERE'S THAT. Anyway it was a gorgeous show, loved it, 10/10 would suffer again, etc etc, I'm glad 2B and 9S are still getting to keep the change to live their own lives even if YT isn't exactly going to make it easy for them along the way.

Or me.

[thetempleofthemasaigoddess]

Built a haven for your love (until I let you fall apart)

Mihawk x reader. NSFW!!

This fic is part of the Beast in Black series.

Note - 13/11/2023: I have edited the fic to delete a brief, completely unimportant reference to Kain, the reader's past lover, in order to focus on other, more important characters.

*****

What I wanted to ask you is... do you wanna have a baby?

Dracule Mihawk doesn't have friends; he hasn't had any for a long time, maybe since he was still a child and forming bonds with school mates was almost inevitable. He knows, without guilt or embarrassment, that the fault is largely his own, since approaching him requires a certain courage, given his intimidating figure, not to mention his reputation; he prides himself on the fact he has never hurt an innocent, least of all voluntarily, but many people don't even need to know about his activities and his deadly ability as a swordsman to perceive he is not the sort of man you could invite to join you at the bar.

He is fine with that; truthfully, he is happy with that, since he has always preferred his own company to that of others; perhaps it is presumptuous of him, but most people bore him in the best of cases... and get on his nerves in the worst. At best, he has a few acquaintances he doesn't mind meeting, like Shanks (even though he doesn't consider the Red-Haired pirate a worthy opponent anymore, given the loss of his arm)... or you.

Your acquaintances goes back a long time, after a chance meeting soon after the beginning of your respective carreers. A swordsman who had challenged him was killed by you the day before they had agreed to meet for their duel; you apologized for stealing his adversary, and offered to split the bounty as compensation, but Mihawk declined, convinced that the fact that the other swordsman had been so easily killed made him an unworthy opponent, so in a way you had spared him a waste of time. You parted (somehow) amicably, and that had been your last encounter for years, until you had both allied yourself with the Marines, him as one of the Seven Warlords of the Sea and you as a mercenary, both not exactly on the World Government's payroll but still regularly called upon to carry out assignments suited to your particular talents.

You have never exactly looked for each other, but for some reason you have met often and regularly, both at the Marine HQ and wherever your travels would bring you. You are extremely capable at what you do, proud of your abilities and accomplishments without lapsing into boastfulness, smarter than many of the people he has to deal with and a pleasant company when the two of you find yourselves killing time with a glass of wine as you wait to meet Vice-Admiral Garp. Mihawk... likes you, in a sense, a feeling that is in part respect and in part a fondness he can't describe; it is pleasant talking to you, you never get on his nerves like many people do, and he can't help admiring the bravery, stubbornness and resourcefulness that have made you the best mercenary in the four seas, capable of hunting down whoever you are pursuing across land and sea and dispatch them, accurate, relentless, and inexorable. He wouldn't say he looks forward to seeing you, but you are one of the few people he doesn't mind meeting, and is pretty sure you feel the same.

That is how things are between the two of you; such they have been for years, and such Mihawk expects them to remain for the foreseeable future... until today. Until your proposal, and since he has been a boy very few things and people have been able to surprise him, but this... this really takes the cake.

"Is it good to see you; it's been a while." you say, receiving a nod in response. A small, well-lit chamber in the Marine HQ is used as a waiting room for officers and civilians waiting for a meeting or to be received by a superior, and this is where the two of you have met, having both come to the HQ for your own affairs; you seemed happy to see him, and he had accepted your invite to sit and enjoy a glass of wine, that you had languidly ordered to the first cadet who had walked past you.

"It has."

"Are you leaving or returning?"

"Returning; I have to report to Garp." Mihawl explains as he makes himself comfortable on the chair; he has not fully carried out the task he had been assigned, since the young pirate who has inherited Shank's straw hat is still at large, but he is not worried of the repercussions; after all, he is not the Marines' lap dog, the Vice-Admiral's even less "Yourself?"

"Just received my new assignment; I'm leaving for the North Blue in the morning. Just killing some time until my dinner reservation." you elaborate; one of your many guns (you always have no less than four on your person, from the long rifle you carry slung over your shoulder to a tiny but deadly pistol you keep hidden in the wide sleeve of your shirt) is placed on your lap, together with the rag you have used to polish it until the arrival of your drink "So, what keeps the greatest swordsman in the world busy these days?"

You listen intently as he tells you about Zoro, a young and impulsive adversary he nonetheless is sure will one day will be worthy of his attention, and then you tell him about your latest quarry: a man who, knowing you were pursuing him, had hidden in a ball-room full of people during a dance, confident that the quick-moving throng around him would make it impossible for a sniper to aim. He didn't have the time to realize how wrong he was when you, hanging upside-down from a lamppost across the street, shot him through a window in the middle of a valzer, your bullet brushing against his partner's cheek without hurting her and passing through his skull from his left orbit.

"Impressive." Mihawk says; he doesn't tell you he could count the people who have earned such a compliment from him on the fingers of one hand, but you smile, clearly flattered.

"Thank you."

For a couple minutes, the only noise in the room is the soft song of the backwash filtering through the windows; you seem... pensive, Mihawk thinks, not sad but vaguely tense as you sip your wine, as if there were a problem you can't find a solution for.

The only other people present in the room are a trio of captains arguing over a map on the table in front of them; coming in, they have glared at both of you, as if unhappy to see a couple of miscreants like you, a pardoned pirate and a woman who kills for money, among them, but both you and Mihawk have ignored them. He sees a look of satisfaction on your face when finally the three uniformed officers leave; as soon as you are alone, you look at him.

"May I ask you something?"

Mihawk looks back; this is why you were anxious, he realizes. Even though you try to maintain a calm, almost casual tone, the tenseness is still clear in your eyes and in your ramrod posture, and in the way in which you almost subconsciously grip the gun in your hands, not to point it against him but because it makes you feel safer and more in control.

It is the same for him; otherwise, no matter how confident he is in his capacities as a swordsman, he would not sleep with Yoru under his bed... and the Kogatana under his pillow.

"You may." he concedes; not of course, or tell me everything, because such expansiveness is as far from his personality as it is possible to be, and you know it well. But he knows you as well, and because of this, he is willing to listen; he has no idea what you may want to discuss (maybe a partnership for a particularly challenging task? If so he might humour you, if the quarry is interesting. He wouldn't mind seeing you at work) but he must admit, he is curious... just a little "What is it?"

You breathe in, like a diver ready to jump; you don't lack courage, and still, for a moment Mihawk expects to hear you say "It doesn't matter." and leave it there.

You don't.

"I would like to ask you... if you'd like to have a baby with me."

*****

You can't remember ever being so nervous, even though he is the last of a long list of men you have approached (but after all, none of them were like the one sitting in front of you; none, you have come to suspect, could ever be), but when you look at Mihawk, who after a whole minute has yet to utter a single word, you feel a smile blossoming on your lips.

"Are you surprised? I should be proud, I left the infamous "Hawk Eyes" Mihawk speechless..."

"Is this a joke?" he inquires, and you would have to be deaf to ignore the threat in his voice; your smile disappears, as quickly as it had come.

"Absolutely not; I know you are not the joking sort, and this matter is extremely important to me. Give me five minutes and everything will be clear."

He doesn't answer, not even with a nod, but he remains where he is, silently allowing you to go on, and you swallow, your mouth suddenly as dry as if you hadn't had a sip of water in days. You are not afraid of him (not actively, at least; he could probably kill you, if he tried, but you know he is not the sort of man who needlessly resorts to violence for the simple pleasure to hurt others... and maybe, just maybe, your long acquaintance will grant you a little of his patience) but probably you'd have been better off keeping him out of your little plan. After all, there are so many other candidates, healthy men whose cooperation you could secure with a bought drink and a bit of sweet talking; involving him (a man you know, and respect, and because of this who you feel obliged to be honest with, not to mention it would be hard to keep him in the dark regarding your plan, since you meet semi-regularly) is unnecessarily complicated... but at the same time something in your heart, a tiny voice you have stopped listening to eight years ago, tells you that this is the right choice, he is - for your future child, and maybe for you as well.

"I don't think you know this, but I am the heir of a noble house." you begin "My family rules over an island in the North Sea. It is nothing special, tiny compared to many others similar domains, but the soil is fertile and we have trade agreements in place with many other kingdoms and cities; about fifteen hundred people live on the island, and my family has governed them for more than ten centuries. It is a very beautiful place, with a mild climate and a luxuriant nature."

Silence.

"Sorry, sometimes I get carried out when I talk about my home. Anyway, I am the only heir to the family; I have no siblings and my mother is too old to have other children, which means that the responsibility to ensure the continuation of the family lineage falls on my shoulders. Because of this, I have decided it is time for me to bear an heir who will one day rule our home; and because of this, I need someone to sire a child for me."

Silence again, and you know him well enough to know that Mihawk never utters three words if one is sufficient, nor does he appreciates useless talk from his interlocutor, so you force yourself to keep silent as well, feeling your heart beating fast enough to hurt. The worst he can do is refuse your offer, which would be disappointing (it would really be, you realize in your heart; a bitter, deep disappointment) but not an insurmountable problem, and you'd be free to look for another donor, but still, you find yourself holding your breath as you wait for an answer. Why do you feel like this?, you wonder; he is just one man, one you have grown deeply fond of in the years since your first meeting and whose blood would undoubtedly produce healthy, strong and attractive offspring, but suddenly you feel desperate to receive a positive answer, and you don't know why. Is it because after five years, you're starting to lose hope? Or because you know how embarrassing it would be, to think back to his refusal when you would meet Mihawk again in the future? Or maybe...?

"Don't noble families require a member to be married in order for their children to be eligible to inherit?" the man in front of you suddenly asks "I seem to understand you are not asking for my hand."

"I am not; what I would like from you is to get me pregnant, that's all. It is true that the children of unmarried couples are often forbidden from inheriting, especially in the case of a noble family, but things are different in my island. Marriage is often just a formality and a personal choice, and no large difference exists between couples who actually tie the knot and those who don't, nor between the treatment given to their children. A blood relationship with the ruler, or their heir, is enough to ensure suitability as far as the inheritance of the fief is concerned; I could technically adopt a child from another family, but their position would be less solid. I have no siblings or other close relatives: if the child is born from my womb, there will be no reason to doubt their qualifications." you explain, secretly relieved Mihawk has not refused your proposal already but suddenly wishing you could exchange the average red wine in your glass for a sip of cool water "So... are you interested?"

Silence - again, and this time it is clear to you Mihawk is reflecting on your words, something you can't blame him for, and obviously this is the sort of proposal you can't decide on in a matter of minutes, not to mention he is clearly the sort of man who likes to meditate on what he does, but at the same time you can't take it anymore... the silence is going to kill him.

"Mihawk, please." you murmur. For a moment you are about to rest your hand on his over the table, an innocent contact to lend more weight to your words, but thank all the Gods you stop yourself in time since, good acquaintances or not, in a heartbeat you'd probably find your hand amputated by the little blade hanging from Mihawk's neck "Tell me what you're thinking."

His eyes, until now focused on the wine in his glass, move to you, and for the first time since you remember, you need to make an effort to hold his gaze, not because of his eyes, whose colour actually reminds you of a bird of prey, rather because of the intent behind them: he is observing you like a scientist studying an interesting experiment, and it is not pleasant.

Stop it now, you're about to say, but once more, you force yourself to hold your tongue; you are not afraid of him, you have never been, but after all you're trying to earn his collaboration.

"I have a few questions." he states in the end, folding his hands on his lap.

"Understandable. Please ask."

"Why are you asking me?"

"Well, you're not my first choice." you confess, immediately aware those words don't precisely convey your thoughts; you glance at him, suddenly curious to know if he found them offensive, but Mihawk's face is as expressive as the wall behind him "I mean, I have started trying to conceive five years ago, and consequently it was then that I have started searching for a donor. Until now, I have chosen men I didn't previously know; I made sure they were healthy, because obviously I want my child to be physically and mentally sound, and young, since at a certain point age results in a decline of fertility. But now..."

"Now?"

You shrug. "I don't know. I am tired of sleeping with men I don't even know and don't feel attracted to; seducing them is not easy, since I have never been good at flirting, and I can't help feeling guilty when some of them ask to see me again. With you it would be different, and this is why I am coming clean about my real intent; with the others I didn't, and not simply because we meet regularly and you would notice I was pregnant and suspect the child was yours. I know you are in excellent health, and since I want what is best for my child, I'd be happy if they inherited your skills and strength of character."

"I see."

He seems uncertain - he is uncertain, you realize, maybe like it rarely happens in his life; but he is actually considering your proposal, which is already more than you felt confident about.

"What if I wanted to be part of the child's life?" he says after a while "And what if they were not fit to rule your island? Healthy parents can have sick children as well."

"Do you think I would put aside my child simply because...?"

"Answer me."

In your heart you can't blame him for asking, rather the fact that he wants to make sure the child will be taken care of does him credit; he doesn't seem the sort of man who dreams of fatherhood, but after all he deserves to have his say on the matter. So you tell him that your child will have to be raised on your island, since it will be necessary for them to know the land and the people they will one day have to rule, not to mention to receive the necessary education, but nothing forbids their father to spend some time with them, either there or wherever else. "You could visit our island as often as you want, or they could visit you; I'm sure you'll keep them safe. On the other hand, if you wished to have nothing to do with them, I would respect it; I would also keep your name a secret, if you so desire. And whatever happens, even if, Gods forbid, our child got sick or something actually made him unfit to rule, I would still take care of them at the best of my ability. I don't want you to think they would be a means to an end; I don't want a centuries-long lineage to end with me, and I know of my duties towards my island, but... but I do want a child. I want to become a mother, I have for a long time; and there is nothing I would not do to defend my child, not after...

... after what I have been through. After I failed once already.

"... after wanting it for so long."

Silence. Again. You are still clutching your wine glass, hard enough to break it you realize, and as you place it on the table between the two of you Mihawk is still deep in his thoughts, his fingers intertwined on his knee; after a while (you have practically stopped breathing) he opens his mouth to talk...

"Hawk-eye Mihawk? Vice-Admiral Garp is waiting for you."

You have nothing against the cadet who has just joined you at the table (a young, short man with pink hair and round glasses) but you find yourself glaring at him, wishing he had better timing. Mihawk doesn't try to hide his dissatisfaction either.

"I will be with him in a moment." he says with an hand-wave, as if to dismiss the messenger; for a moment the cadet looks as if he's about to say something, before wisely deciding it really is not worth it, and leaves the two of you alone.

Mihawk stands; in a moment, he has retrieved Yoru from the wall he had placed it against and he has placed it on his back, the movement as fluid and apparently effortless as those of a dancer. "I will think about it." he says; he doesn't add I promise or anything of the sort, but you can trust him (you do already) and you know it, and because of this, you smile.

"I know you will. Thank you; thank you for listening to what I had to say." you say, and then he leaves, and you pour yourself another glass of wine, still thirsty but aware you need more than water to recover.

*****

The sight of the sun disappearing beyond the horizon, the flame-red ball seemingly drowning in the dark waters of the sea, is still breath-taking; Mihawk loved it when he first took the sea as a young man, and while no one could ever consider him a romantic (not that many people know him well enough to get an impression of his personality, but still) he finds it equally charming now, so many years later.

The harbour is almost empty around him, a few sailors who hurry to secure their boats before retiring, while the Marines doing the night shift cross the paved path behind him to reach their post. A gentle wind has risen, the white feathers on Mihawk's hat and the tails of his coat barely stirring; he doesn't notice, so focused he is on the spectacle taking place as every day in front of him... and on the surprising proposal he has received four hours ago.

(name) has amazed him; that he has to give her. He would have never imagined her in the role of the scion of a noble family, given her collected but friendly personality, completely devoid of the conceit and sense of superiority so common among the few World Noble he has crossed path with, but at the same time, it isn't hard to imagine her drafting laws or collecting taxes in the little corner of world her family has ruled over for so long. How did a woman whose destiny had undoubtedly been prepared for her since before she was born (Mihawk had no doubts about it, given the care (name) herself had already taken programming the future of their child) end up working as a mercenary? Is her fief so impoverished she needs to raise funds to take care of her people? Or is it simply an hobby to pursue while the previous generation still rules... ?

Their child. The thought appars, sudden and unbidden, in his mind, and Mihawk finds himself struggling to breathe for a moment. He has never given much thought to a possible future paternity, and during his (very sporadic, at least in the last decade) sexual encounters he has always made sure to avoid the risk of pregnancy. Still, the idea of having a child with (name) is... intriguing. He has no doubt she would take care of her progeny in the best way possible, and while he has never considered himself an ambitious man, the prospect of contributing to perpetuate a centuries-long lineage is... pleasing; also, should the child demonstrate an attitude for swordsmanship, he could take them on as an apprentice and bequeath them his knowledge and capacities...

And then there is the other thing. The fact he is almost embarrassed to admit even in the privacy of his own heart, the small but not insignificant detail that has caught him off guard like no adversary has ever done since he was thirteen: the warmth that has filled his belly, and the area below that, when the mental image of him and (name) conceiving that child... the two of them naked, in bed together... blossomed in his mind.

He shouldn't feel embarrassed, let alone distressed, because of that. He is an adult, having thoughts and desires of a sexual nature is perfectly normal, and he has no troubles admitting, at least privately, that (name) is an attractive woman; he surely is not the first man to be attracted to her.

... am I? Attracted to her? I have never thought about her in such a way, let alone about the two of us together; and there was nothing lascivious in the way she discussed her proposal. She wasn't trying to... to seduce me, she asked for a favour but it was more akin to a business deal. Then why am I feeling like this?

He sighs, his eyes still focused on the darkening expanse of the sea. The whole matter is probably harmless, but delicate enough to potentially cause troubles down the line; but after all, what would they have to fear? The idea of becoming a father is not so unpleasant after all, he and (name) are both adults and have the sort of relationship he is confident would not suffer after the end of their... tryst. At worst, they will spend a few pleasant hours together; at best, they will have something precious to carry out their lineage once their time is over.

It is getting darker by the minute. Mihawk remains still, his svelte figure cloaked by the night, witnessing the sun disappearing under the sea.

*****

Dinner was nice. If there is a positive side in your visits to the Marine HQ, besides the thousands of berry you are paid every time you successfully carry out an assignment, is the possibility to visit the city's establishments, among which many world-class restaurants; after all, Admirals cannot always dine in the mess hall, and while you'd be content to taste your island's local cuisine for the rest of your days, sometimes it's nice to have a little variety.

Now, your belly pleasantly full, you are sitting cross-legged on the bed in the inn room you have booked for the night, still busy polishing your weapons, like you do at least once a week. A few of them (a couple of revolvers, customized to hold up eight cartridges instead of six; a carbine with a barrel longer than your leg, that you took as a souvenir from the last man you killed; an ancient varmint rifle you regularly use to hunt larger preys than badgers and boars; and your personal favourite, a beautiful, muzzleloading derringer, your name engraved on the ivory butt, that you always hide under your pillow before going to sleep) are neatly arranged on the duvet in front of you, waiting for their turn. You are singing softly under your breath as you clean the barrel of a gun from the drops of blood left by your latest quarry, when an unexpected noise comes to disturb your concentration: a discreet, soft but resolute, knocking on the door.

You haven't told him what inn you're staying in, nor were you thinking about your discussion at the Marine HQ. Still, you immediately know who it is, as sure as you are of your own name, and when you stand from the bed, the way your hand immediately moves to grasp the derringer is more out of habit than because of a potential danger, and the way your legs are suddenly shaking might be because you stood all of a sudden after more than an hour spent cross-legged, or maybe not...

You force yourself to cross the room. "Who is it?" you ask in a deliberately questioning tone. You would recognize the firm, vaguely husky voice filtering from the other side of the door everywhere, even without the soft whisper of the name of his owner. A moment later you have pulled the handle towards you, and you and Mihawk are face to face, again after just a few hours, but suddenly you feel, and he looks, as if it everything had changed - as if you had.

"Hello."

"Good evening." Mihawk greets you; he is not smiling - if he ever did, you think, the world would probably stop turning on its axis "Is it too late? Am I disturbing you?"

"Of course not; please, come in."

He looks around him as you close the door, unhurriedly examining the weapons on the bed, the folded clothes on the tiny desk, the boots you have taken off as soon as you returned in a corner; and then he looks at you, and for a moment you forget how to breathe.

You feel his gaze on the back of your head as you retrieve your weapons from the bed and neatly place them on the desk, except for the derringer, which is simply moved to the bedside table; you haven't been anywhere, not even in the privacy of your own room at home, without a loaded gun within easy reach ever since you were ten, and you don't intend to start now.

"Please, make yourself comfortable." you invite him, and a moment later Mihawk is sitting next to you on the bed, Yoru resting against the wall, and you feel yourself smiling softly at him, still unbelieving you are actually here - with him.

As you dined (and wined; you immediately stop drinking alcohol after one of your trysts, well aware of the dangers for the baby you each time hope has been conceived in your womb, but the only silver lining to getting your period once more is that you can start again, if only to drown your sorrows) you had started regretting involving Mihawk in your plan. While it is true that you're tired of sleeping with men you don't even know, much less like, and that any child would be lucky to inherit his gifts, the choice of an acquaintance as a donor is potentially even more complicated; first of all, he is aware of what you plan on doing, which means that it will be next to impossible to fully exclude him from your child's life, should the need arose. One of the reasons you are an excellent mercenary is that you are resilient and stubborn enough to follow your quarry to the other end of the world and back, without giving up until your bullet is in their brain or heart and their bounty in your pocket, but you know no one and nothing, barring perhaps death, could ever keep Mihawk away from something he is keen on. You are more than willing to let him be part of his child's life, and you don't think he would ever hurt them, but still, who knows what could happen...

And then, there is another reason, one it is hard to explain logically. What had become as a simple business proposal (this is what you had intended it to be when you spoke to him, you could swear it on your mother's life) has quickly become something else, something more delicate and less rational, all of it in the few minutes you and Mihawk spent discussing it, and then later you couldn't help reflecting about it, wondering what he thought about your proposal and whether he would accept it, as you enjoyed your dinner.

Having a child with Mihawk... and more specifically, Mihawk putting a child inside you. You have forgotten (it has been a mistake, a simple and natural failure to recall a relatively small detail during an already complex discussion. You didn't do it on purpose!) to tell him there is no need for the two of you to sleep together, artificial insemination is a common occurrence nowadays and the doctors on your island are more than capable. It would be much easier the other way, but honestly, you hadn't meant to suggest... to give him the impression that you wanted to...

You chided yourself for your forgetfulness, in case that was actually a dealbreaker for him and Mihawk would not think to propose a less invasive procedure himself, and then... and then it was as if you couldn't stop thinking about it, thinking about him... and how it would be, what it would feel like. You'd have nothing against it... quite the opposite, actually, you realized as you emptied the wine carafe on your table and asked the waiter for another.

Mihawk is an attractive man. Extremely attractive, actually, especially if one looks beyond the menacing look, deadly reputation, and the huge sword on his back (or, if one is actually attracted by that sort of man. You might.. not not be.) to notice his elegant and athletic figure, the chiseled features of his face, the well-styled beard and hair... even his eyes are exceptionally beautiful, that deep, penetrating yellow gaze that actually reminds you of a bird of prey. You have no idea whether he has a partner or not, but you'd be ready to bet he doesn't lack in admirers... even though approaching him would require no small amount of courage.

You have known him since you were barely more than a girl, and met him regularly for years, and you have never thought about him like that, never even realized how handsome he is. Or rather, you were aware of the fact (after all, you are not blind!) but somehow subconsciously, never paying attention to the fact. You have already slept with many partners you were not attracted to and you could easily do it again, Mihawk' strong body and swoon-worthy face change nothing, but... but...

Who knows what kind of lover he is, and he would be with you. Generous, attentive to his partner's pleasure as well as and maybe even before his, or egotistical, the sort of man who doesn't even look at you in the eyes and tries to avoid even kissing you? What is his favourite position? Your guess would be something that allows him to be the dominant part in the rapport, given his forceful personality and no-nonsense attitude, but for so many people the face they show to the world is different from the way they live their intimacy, and maybe when he is with a partner (someone he trusts, someone he can be himself when he is with... why were you suddenly picturing yourself in that role?!) Mihawk likes to surrender control, to relax and let someone else take care of and decide for him. If he is with a woman (again, in the thoughts that had quickly become a full-blown fantasy, not simply any woman) does he like to be ridden, or to push her against a wall and lift her legs around his hips? Does he like to receive oral? Or... or... to give it? Does he grunt, moan, sigh, scream, his partner's name or to express his pleasure, or is he silent just like his normal taciturnity would suggest...? What does his body look like, under the elegant but austere clothes he favours? What does his...?

This, and much more, is what you couldn't help reflecting about at dinner, and then during the little walk you took to return to the inn, and even later, as you killed time with the upkeep of your weapons, those thoughts persisted in your mind, so much that you started fearing you wouldn't be able to fall asleep... or that you would go from thinking to dreaming about him.

Is this due simply to your proposal, and the fact that you did ask him to get you pregnant? After all there already is an emotional, no matter how distant, bond between the two of you, and you're still a sort-of-young woman with a heart and not a stone in her chest. Or were these feelings already part of you, hidden until you had reason to reflect on the fact that this business deal could actually turn out to be much more pleasant, not to mention complicated, than you had thought...?

Whatever the truth may be, the man who is the source, and the cause, of your emotional turmoil is now sitting next to you, on your bed, to further discuss your proposal, and no matter how many times you have risked your life since you were just a girl, no matter the coldbloodedness you have acquired during your years as a mercenary, no matter how many men you have slept with since you were sevevnteen, you are trembling, like a young girl before her first kiss, and suddenly you are not sure what would be better, if he refused your proposal... or if he accepted it.

Because of the baby, and not only that.

You have remained lost in your thoughts for several minutes, which is perhaps deplorable when someone has come to talk to you, but Mihawk seems fine with your silence; actually, he looks as pensive as you feel.

"I thought about your... proposal." he finally says "And I'm willing to accept it, provided you agree with my conditions. I'll give you a baby, or at least I'll do my best trying."

A hundred other men would have accompanied those words with a saucy look; a thousand others would have blushed, or stammered, or betrayed embarrassment due to the delicate, intimate nature of the deal they are accepting. Not Dracule Mihawk; he looks as rational and dispassionate as if he were buying an umbrella during a sudden downpour to discard it as soon as it stops raining, something he needs to do but he is relatively unconcerned about. And once more, you're not completely sure how that makes you feel.

What you know, is the answer he deserves. "Thank you. I... Thank you so much. I am truly and deeply grateful, you don't know how much this matters to me." you say; you are not stammering, but you know he can hear the depth of the emotions filling your heart in your voice: happiness, gratitude, relief, and trepidation. All he can do is try, there is no guarantee he can actually get you pregnant, and the list of failed attempts you have left behind you is as long as your arm, but still, you have a good feeling about it... and even if the two of you failed, you feel suddenly sure you won't consider it a wasted effort "You spoke about conditions. Tell me everything."

Mihawk's first request is to keep his involvement in the conception of your child a secret; in other words, nobody has to know he is the one who got you pregnant, not even the child themself, at least for a while. "Even though I am technically an ally of the World Government now, I have a certain number of enemies in the world, people who could try to hurt me or lure me out through those closest to me. I have no doubt you would do everything you can to protect your child, but I'd feel safer if no one knew. Unless, of course, this would be cause of... embarrassment for you, on your island..."

"It won't be." you assure him; many at home will undoubtedly be curious about the identity of your child's father, but the law says your heir must be a child of your blood, without any particular requirement about the other parent, so that won't make any difference "I promise I'll keep it secret, if you wish. Anything else?"

Mihawk's second request is even simpler: for you to immediately tell him whether you are pregnant or not, as soon as you know for sure. He is a patient man, but since the matter you are discussing about is particularly delicate, he'd rather not be left wondering.

"Of course. It will take about a month, you can probably guess why; should I miss my period, I'll go to my doctor, and then I'll inform you of the results, whatever they are."

"Very well."

Silence falls between the two of you, and you're suddenly aware of the still purely platonic, but somehow compelling intimacy surrounding you: you're alone, for the first time in the many years of your acquaintance, sitting on a bed, discussing about matters that concern you both deeply. Mihawk looks as relaxed and in control as ever, so maybe for him this is simply a favour he is doing you and an investment that could come in handy one day, or maybe not, you think as you search for something, for an emotion of any kind, in his beautiful yellow eyes, and could swear you actually find it, maybe that is simply a facade he is used to present to the world, and in the privacy of his heart, he feels exactly as you do...

"Anything else?"

"Not on my part, no. I'm sure you will be an excellent mother, and I don't need to ask you to take care of them. I... still haven't decided how involved I will be in the child's life, I hope this is not a problem."

It isn't, since you will be happy with whatever he decides to do, as long as he does not object to you raising the child on your island.

"So... shall we?" Mihawk asks; the flash of emotion in his gaze is brief, but you see it (maybe he has let you?) and a smile blossoms on your lips.

"We shall."

You quickly take off your shoes, while Mihawk stands to take his hat and then his coat off, leaving them neatly placed on a chair.

"I forgot to tell you." you begin once more, after more than one silent moment spent staring at his naked back "We don't necessarily have to... to do it the old-fashioned way, if you'd rather not. We could... go to a doctor..."

Mihawk grunts as he bends to unbuckle his boots; again, you find it impossible to avert your gaze. "I will not give a stranger a vial of my seed, as if I were a stud bull." he states "It is barbaric. There is nothing wrong with the natural method."

You silently agree. A moment later, he's back on the bed; he lets you look a him, and he looks back while you unhurriedly take off your dress, exposing the bra and underskirt you wear underneath.

"Very beautiful." Mihawk says, as if he were talking more to himself than to you; you smile.

"You'll make me blush."

"You are an attractive woman, I sincerely doubt I am the first man to pay you a compliment. The other... donors you selected, for example. I'm sure all of them felt exceptionally lucky."

There is no trace of mocking in his voice, let alone of blame; still, those words are enough to make your smile disappear. "They did not matter."

"While I do?"

"You do. You know you do. We have known each other for so many years, and I know we are not... friends, exactly, and I could always close my eyes and think about something else, but you don't know how... how dehumanazing it is to... well, to feel nothing for the other person..."

Mihawk nods. "I know the feeling." he says, and then, in response to your incredulous look: "I have been young as well; and I've made mistakes, like everyone."

"I'm sure you were the only one to think so."

"Hmmm..."

For a whole minute, you are both content looking at each other. Finally, Mihawk's raised hand brushes against your face, and you close your eyes, savouring the warmth of his fingers against your cheek. You take his hand, and let it guide you as you stand, close the brief distance between you, and rest both of yours on his shoulders to stabilize yourself as you sit on his lap, your thighs open to the sides of his clothed legs.

Mihawk's eyes move on your body; you can't stop looking at him either, and so you feel, rather than see, his strong and elegant hands rest on your hips, gently caressing them above the light fabric of your underskirt. You can feel his breath on your chest; he can feel you hold yours when you rest your hand on his cheek and then let it slip down his body, the well-toned physique (he is much less burly than other pirates and fighters you know, but his muscles are solid and defined, as you expected... and even a little more), the pale, smooth skin, except for a thin line of hair on his lower abdomen that your fingers follow down to the waistband of his pants, and that is when you hear him grunt.

"Shall I stop?"

"Do not mock me, woman..." he growls, but he's enjoying your ministrations and doesn't bother to hide it. "Take this off, now."

This is your bra, which you obediently remove; you sigh, kissing his dark hair and temples and any inch of him you can reach, as Mihawk, whose arms have circled your waist and who is now holding you tight against his body, begins licking your chest, the sensation of his lips on your skin sweet and delicious beyond words. Soon, you are moaning his name, gently rocking against the turgescense under you, and you hear him whisper your name before he quickly but gently turns, pushing you on your back on the duvet while he kneels above you.

He sighs, relief evident in his tone, while you relieve him from his pants, lowering the fabric to his knees. He returns the favour lifting the hem of your underskirt, but when you move to take off your panties

"No." he stops you, gently resting his hand on yours "Please, keep them on."

A minute later you are locked in an embrace, your leg lifted around his hips, Mihawk's hand caressing you between your legs, gentle, confident, inexorable, until he feels you are ready for him, and he shifts to press the centre of his body against yours.

You lock eyes; for a brief, precious moment, it is as if the distance between the two of you had melted like snow under the sun, leaving you the two parts of a single, hot and quivering being.

"I don't know if I can actually... do what you want." Mihawk whispers; his hips press against yours with the desperation of a man living his last night, but he sounds regretful, as if saddened by the possibility of disappointing you "I... want to, but..."

Of all the emotions you expected to feel for Dracule Mihawk, tenderness was the last of the list; still, you do, a sudden, powerful surge of empathy that makes you desire this night would never end... and that it weren't your last, as well as your first.

"An attempt." you murmur, before claiming his mouth in a new kiss "That is all I ask."

He gives you three.

*****

You wake early on the following morning (like you expected Mihawk to do as well, since he doesn't seem like the kind of guy who likes to sleep in; on the other hand, you did exhaust him last night...), but you linger a bit before getting up, as you observe the man sound asleep next to you. He is lying on his side towards you, an hand hidden under the pillow, the other reaching out towards you.

He is so handsome - no, he is rapturously beautiful like this, tranquil, at ease, not exactly smiling but serene, as if he were in the middle of a beautiful dream; the azure sheet covers him up to his hips, letting the first sun rays of the day caress the naked skin of his arms and chest.

You feel as if you could spend the whole day like this, just admiring him; but sooner or later he will wake up, and then you could stay in bed for a little more, attempting again or just cuddling, savouring that new intimacy that feels so natural, so genuine and true, even though nothing in your relationship until last night could suggest this could be born from it. But it has, and it is a gift you will keep in your heart forever... as a cherished, now-distant memory; because no matter how desperately you wish you could stay in that little paradise you have created together for a little more, you can't... and, in your heart you know for sure (or you think you do; the truth couldn't be more different, but you haven't learned to read his heart, nor he to express his feelings. Yet.) Mihawk doesn't want to, no matter how enthusiastically he made good on his promise last night. You didn't even know a man could last so long, and hearing him growl your name was enough to push you over the brink...

Still. He has done what he had promised you, and expecting more, expecting other, is naive and even dangerous, because the last thing you need now is to have your heart broken. You know Mihawk respects you and maybe even considers you a sort-of-friend, and not to brag, but you are confident you have given him the best night of his life... but letting that rapport evolve, pursue a relationship, whether romantic or even simply sexual? That's another thing altogether, one you know he won't be interested in.

(Again, you don't, and he would).

You shouldn't even consider thoughts like these. Since when have you thought about Mihawk like that? You are well aware of how attractive he is and are genuinely fond of him, yes, but when did you start wanting more than a casual friendship with him? Probably you don't, not really, it's just that the amazing night you have spent together and all the talking about the baby made your most emotional and romantic side emerge, as if you were still the young girl who thought two people could not experience pleasure, let alone reproduce, without being madly in love with each other. The truth is obviously different, and in a few days, maybe even as early as tomorrow, you will realize how naive and shallow your desires are, born from passion and the hope to see your dream come true. You don't really want him, you just... think you do, because you shared something amazing last night and you know he'd be an excellent father for your child. That's all; and he wouldn't want you in any case. You did what you agreed to, and now you better leave as soon as you can, to avoid the classic, unavoidable embarrassment of the morning after.

This is why when finally Mihawk wakes up, twenty minutes later, he finds you already clothed and ready to go, busy sliding your weapons in their holsters or hiding then under your clothes, your faithful derringer by your side once more.

"Hi." you murmur softly as you sit on the edge of the bed, your hands naturally, instinctively finding the one he has moved towards yours "Are... are you ok?"

"I am. You?"

"Fine. It... it was nice, wasn't it?"

He looks at you, veguely ironic; do you really need to ask?, his lovely yellow eyes seem to ask, and you can't help a small laugh.

"You are leaving, I see." Mihawk adds after a moment, his tone expressionless. He is looking at you as if your clothes were still scattered on the floor, just like he did last night; he sees you blush, and he smirks, but after a moment he turns serious as usual - even a little more sombre, you would swear.

"I am; after all Garp gave me a new assignment yesterday. The first ship for my next destination leaves in half an hour, but you can stay, if you want, I have rented the room until midday."

"There is no need, I have things to do as well."

He gets up, without bothering to hide what you have had time to look at, and to touch and to kiss, as much as you wanted last night, and retrieves his clothes. He has turned his back to you, and you wonder if it is deliberate, because he has already lost any interest he could have in you, because he is already regretting what you did together, or maybe because he is grappling with emotions he doesn't know how to process, and trying to find the words to express them, to ask you...

No. It's impossible. Stop thinking about it and focus on your next assignment. You did everything you could, now you can only pray it worked.

Five minutes, and you're both ready to go; you look at Mihawk as he places Yoru on his back, and you wring your hands, suddenly shier and more unsure than you have ever been in his presence.

"Mihawk?"

He doesn't answer, but he turns, his face slightly tilted on one side in an inquiring manner. He looks so much like a bird when he does that, you think, amused; like a bird of prey... a beautiful, deadly hawk.

"I... I wanted to thank you."

"There is no need..."

"Yes, there is." you quickly interrupt him; you need to tell him, and you need to do it now, otherwise you will lose courage "I... I have been wanting to become a mother for a long time; it's the thing I want the most in the world, and not simply because my island needs an heir for when I'll be dead. It's... it's more important than I could explain, and I've been disappointed so many times and there is nothing I can do but hope and pray, but... call me crazy if you want, but I have a good feeling about this. About you. I... I think we did it, even if it will take time before I know for sure. And I'll be happy to have your child."

Mihawk nods. He is standing right in front of you, close enough he could touch you without even reaching out, but suddenly it is as if you were standing at the opposite points of the Great Line, the unmade bed next to you a suddenly uncomfortable remainder of your nightly activities. "Remember your promise."

"Of course; I will inform you as soon as I have seen the doctor, whatever the result."

"Good."

Pause. "(name)..."

"Yes?" you ask, intimately happy to break that uncomfortable silence, the first in the many years since your first meeting. This is something you have always liked about Mihawk; with him, you never feel the need to talk, but you can feel content with his solitary presence next to you. Still, it has never been so hard to say good-bye... "What is it?"

He hesitates (something you are probably the first to witness, or at least to live to tell) as if unsure about what he wants to say, or about the words to use; he looks at you, and you hold your breath, because for a split second you are sure, you just know, that what he is about to say will change everything, because it is not all in your mind, something has changed, after last night or because that moment of intimacy made you both realize your bond was much deeper than you knew...

"I need to give you my number. To call me."

Disappointment explodes inside you. You feel... mortified, as if you had ended up naked in the middle of the public square; your little infatuation will without a doubt disappear in three days at most, but for now, it hurts as if you had been stabbed. Stupid, romantic girl, an unpleasant voice whispers in your ear; what did you expect? Did you really think he could care about you that way?

"Oh. Oh, right..."

A moment later, a slip of paper with Mihawk's contacts is safe in your pocket, and he is neatly placing his feathered hat on his head.

"It is. Be safe. I mean, I know I don't need to tell you..."

"You don't." he easily recognizes "And I don't need to tell you, but I will; remember that perhaps now you have someone else to think about as well. Good-bye, (name)."

A smile, small but sincere, and a brush of fingers against yours, accompany that greeting a moment before Mihawk leaves, and even though you awoke first and meant to depart before he could notice your absence, you are still there, alone in the sunlit room, suddenly too saddened and wistful to think about the child who might be growing in your womb.

[thedustyleaves]

@h1vetonic I mean.... you're not wrong 👀

The comic itself is without any sexual material, as that is not something I'm very good at writing nor drawing, and there's parts of me that regret not exploring that - on the other hand, I'm also happy that I get to write to a younger audience, who won't suddenly be met with something they didn't expect.

I've been incredibly torn in how much of their connection to each other, that all four share, that I've wanted to include in the comic, or share online BUT HERE WE GOOOO.

I've chosen to keep the comic itself pretty streamlined, so it goes more or less straight towards the romance endgame of Kain and Dakon getting together (even though that's not the main part of the story, it's just something that happens "on the side" ish).

IF I have the guts to actually draw it, I do want to draw more mature moments between them in short comics, that are optional to read, but are still considered canon. Kain and Raki do have brief moments together, before Kain and Dakon get together. They mostly share moments of chemistry and pure joy in each other, like I have a very clear idea in my head where I want them to be alone for a night, while Dakon and Christie are out doing something, and they simply fall into it with such ease. They have a have a wonderful time together and become even closer as friends, and it happens once or twice after - Like it's this tension between them that's always been there, but they've never explored it until that moment, and it's something they can look back on fondly and feel safe and content with. I'd say that the lines are still a little blurred afterwards, but they're don't get together and start a relationsship the way Dakon and Kain do.

Christie is also a part of all of this, mostly with Raki actually. Raki respects her immensely and eventually do fall for her, but I'm still a bit 50/50 wether or not I want it in the comic itself, or just indicate it but wE'LL SEE, maybe my romantic side will win PFT.

In my mind, all four just love each other very much, and while they end up in "pairs", they still have these short moments of intimacy, sleeping in a pile together, kissing goodbye or hello, getting dressed in front of each other and showing love with long hugs etc.

Here's a few instances with Raki and Christie

A bit more subtle, but here's him, looking at her all 'come hither' 😎

[screemnch]

Yeah, the gay doctors are cool and all, but have you ever thought about

Aglaya Lilich?????

I swear to god she is the most character of all time. She is smart, she is capable, discerning and even sometimes kind and YET!

Everyone must hate her. She can’t do anything right - not for the lack of trying or being incapable - but because that is not her role. She isn’t the hero who saves the town from the plague and she isn’t the solution. The Powers That Be gave her an impossible task and promised to send her to death if she fails, there is probably already a coffin in the capital made just for her and she is still trying.

And I have to reiterate that everyone MUST hate her. Maria hates her because of Nina and because of the polyhedron, Block hates her because of the manufactured stigma, most npc’s speak about her with either fear or resentment. Even the healers all have a bone to pick with her (including Artemy, depending on how you play). And that’s not to say that she’s blameless or anything - she is still ruthless and unrelenting. She still orders many people to their death and tells a couple of characters to just go and drop dead, but I feel like that’s to be expected of a few other characters as well.

And yet.

She opens up the termitary (if I remember correctly) allowing the few survivors to get help and exposing the Olgimsky’s to judgement from the Kin. She saves Peter from Saburov’s murder plan without hesitation (if I remember correctly - before she even sees the tower’s blueprints). She wants to mend her relationship with the last of her family, even though they’ll never forgive her. And on the final day without fail - she leaves the decision in the player’s hands. If Dankovsky was right and she was trying to destroy the polyhedron simply as a final stab at the Kains, she’d be much more insistent about it, as we know she can be. But she acknowledges her biases and abstains from weighing in on the argument. She is convinced that her decision is correct (unlike Block, who is here to execute and order, not make decisions) yet she lets the player take the lead. I haven’t seen most of patho 2, and I know that she does a few things differently there, but I can assure you it will also make me have a lot of thoughts about her.

She is also perfectly aware of her situation. She is hated by the Powers That Be - both the government and the little kids. No one wants her here, no one trusts her, she is basically sent to die. But still she resolves to try to right the wrongs and help people as much as she can (which is particularly fun because a lot of people like to view Daniil’s story as that predicament). And while I don’t particularly like to talk about romance when analyzing stuff, it’s important to point out that (as far as I know) in both patho classic and patho 2 her themes are quite strongly connected with the concept of love. I’m not familiar enough with that part of the story, but the fact that someone can be in such a dire, desperate situation and still find in themselves the capacity for trust, vulnerability and affection is… Not something I can describe well in my vocabulary.

Honestly can’t wait to look at her dialogue, too bad she’s not part of any faction in particular and probably will be one of the last characters I look at. I should draw her, maybe. Go insane, maybe.

[wandringaesthetic]

ugh okay

Netflix Castlevania Nocturne season 2 trailer commentary and rampant speculation:

(mostly about Alucard we all have our faves)

I love how he's animated. He is so still most of the time. Not that he can't move incredibly fast, but there is no wasted movement, does not flinch, at all, ever, facial expressions are certainly there (his little smile when he mentions Trevor, cut out my fucking heart Sam Deats et al), but very subtle. He sounds so much more sedate than he does in the other series, but the dry humor is certainly still there (who are you to call anyone sarcastic, sir?). He has seen and lost so much. Nothing surprises him. Nothing is worth any wasted effort. The impression of incredible age and weariness.

As ever, I like the fact that he is supposed to be incredibly strong but it's usually depicted in a very understated manner, like this has been true since season 1 but it took until it was drawn attention to in season 3 for me to notice he has been wielding a longsword like it's a rapier this entire damn time.

He is literally sitting like an old man exactly like those two football players in that video. What? I'm comfy. Sort of like a bat, too.

He is kind of giving me death flags??? Like more or less saying to Richter that he's got to finish the job if he can't (the reverse of Symphony of the Night where Alucard has to finish it because Richter couldn't and oooooooooo are we going to get evil/possessed/"master of the castle" Richter I must KNOW) A character like Alucard is difficult because he's OP and isn't technically a main character (anymore) so one way to solve him overshadowing the actual main characters is KILL HIM. Also, being passively suicidal in Symphony of the Night is kind of Alucard's whole thing. Like, Again, overanalyzing the 30 seconds he's in in the last season. Stating he has a kill count in the hundreds thousands?? Big if true. He's been spending most of the last 300 years killing vampires. Castlevania vamps are generally not portrayed as obligate evil and he's often defensive/admiring of vampires in series 1. What happened? (I do not like the most obvious potential answer to this. Like, I won't hate it if that's what happened but agh I want him to have had one happy lifetime, at least. Especially if we, again, take inspiration from Symphony and have him fighting their shades/reanimated corpses. Like. I would love/hate that.)

Are we ever going to explain Maria's powers in any way? If we have evil/possessed Richter I do very much like the idea of her marching in to save him.

maybe the single frame here that intrigues me most is Olrox holding back Mizrak. Toxic bara is back, baby. Perhaps it never left.

I am intrigued re: what we're doing with Juste, because, hmm, the Juste/Lydie/Maxim situationship is more or less the same as the Cecil/Rosa/Kain situationship, yes? But we got the bad ending where Lydie and Maxim are dead or worse and Juste probably killed Maxim. Like if y'all had just accepted the homoerotic rivalry as homoerotic maybe you would not be so weak to demonic possession/brainwashing/whatever and it probably wouldn't have to be like this. In contrast with the might-as-well-be-canon trephacard polycule. As ever, I'm fascinated by the implications of something that is probably never going to play out on screen. Aren't we all.

I'm glad Drolta's back, she was fun. She's the sort of character that doesn't need a reason to be back because she didn't have all that strong a reason to exist in the first place she's 99% vibes and that's ok. (though oh. ohhhhhhh. she's the succubus analogue. let's torment alucard with illusory hellworld, yes?)

[talesfromsiteredacted]

How Various Members of Site Command React to Sudden Hugs

Okay, this is by no means at complete list of who's huggable on site and who isn't, and HR would have maid-waifuless kittens if they found out I even made this list. That being said... it's a lot safer to hug some staffers than others.

First, no one on record has tried hugging Dr. Gears. But, should someone be brave or crazy enough to try it... he might get to tolerate it with repeated attempts.

Second, hugging Dr. Bright is just encouraging him to be a perv. Stick to pats on the head. On second though... just don't touch Dr. Bright.

Third, Dr. Glass gives the warmest hugs, next to Cain, 999, and 343 themselves. 10/10, highly recommend hugging him if you had a bad day.

Fourth, Dr. Iceberg. Yeah... Sadly, I think only his partner Quinn can get away with that one. Anyone else would wind up with at least a literal cold shoulder.

Clef is most likely to just ninja hug the crap out of you in retaliation if you do this to him first. My ribs still hurt from this morning's clingy ambush. More likely to happen if he's hungover.

Dr. Rights is a hugger. Do not hug unless you're free for ten minutes at least.

Do not ninja hug Dr. Gerald. He likes hugs, but... exaggerated startle responses are not fun. Approach slowly from the front once consent is given, do not squeeze.

Cain will turn terracotta red if hugged off guard. Agent Nordstrom thinks it's adorable.

It is nearly impossible to ninja hug 343. He still loves hugs, so feel free to try. Just... not with whiskey in hand. It's a sin to waste good alcohol.

Dr. Light is fond of hugs. For the record, if she really likes you, she squeezes.

Ninja hugging 999 means you sink into him a tiny bit, like jumping onto a huge Jello lump. Just don't build up too much speed. I recommend this on those really crap days.

Assuming you locate him, hugging Dr. Kondraki will have one of two results: him either shouting at you or dragging you down to the local karaoke bar to get smashed and sing 90's heavy metal off key with him. If he's already half pickled with booze first, it's the latter. There is no in between.

Dr. Shaw will also blush if hugged. It's sweet. Also gives very gentle hugs.

Dr. Myriad, however... be prepared for a rib-bruising hug in return.

Iris is not a hugger. Only family and Agent Markovich can hug her and live.

Do not attempt to hug Dr. Mann. He's not a touchy feely guy, you will be shot at.

Agent Strelnikof likes hugs, believe it or not. Bonus if the hugger is a pretty woman.

Do not hug Agent Dimitriov around 076-2, unless Abel agrees. Agent Okame was just trying to help, you didn't need to kill her, Big Brother! No GTA5 for three weeks.

There was one intern who actually hugged 294 after it produced "a perfect duplicate of my nan's hot chocolate, right down to the correct color of marshmallow Peep". The machine did seem to perform better for the rest of the day, but the test was never duplicated.

Dr. Kain Pathos-Crow is hit and miss on hugging. But... he loves a good ear scratch, like most canine lifeforms.

Dr. Cimmerian gives great hugs, at a dollar a piece. If you're good at something, never do it for free.

Hugging Agent Lombardi will get you punched. Don't.

No hugging Lieutenant Tori. She will shoot you. In the knee. With buckshot. Twice for repeat offenders.

No surprise hugs with Dr. Sherman, lest you get a lecture on consent. Best to just bring him a coffee. He's nice, just a stickler for decorum on site.

I myself welcome hugs from almost anyone except Agent O'Hare for obvious reasons, and Dr. Bright, again for obvious reasons. Just mind my teacup, please.

[reverieblondie]

Play Fighting

Pairing: Kaine Parker x gnSpider-person!Reader

Warnings: Reader gets nose broken but other than that its just some nice Kaine fluff!

Summary: Kaine is always starting fights with you...your about to figure out why...

A/N: So, waaay back in December I had someone ask if I would be writing more stuff for Kaine and the answer is yes. I love Kaine, and if you love Kaine or what to know more about him please check out the amazing artwork by @eughi They are seriously incredible and the soul reason of me finding my love for this man. They also drew my new profile picture and where so amazing to work with!

The pictures they made that inspired me~ Here and Here

Word count: 3,390

Okay…maybe Kaine is right…these meetings are pretty, well to put it in nicer words compared to his…boring. 

Miguel is lecturing everyone while on one of his many platforms placed around HQ, must be a spider thing to want to be perched up so high all the time. 

While Miguel talks, you notice how his words are starting to sound like a jumbled mess of mumbles. Trying your best to hang on to his words, but at the moment you don't even understand what he’s talking about anymore. Now your eyes grow heavy and your head bobs slowly; sleep is here to take its newest victim, you. And right now you think you might as well let it win, what's the worst that can happen? Just shut your eyes for a moment…a quick…small second…

Right as you're resting your eyes and feeling yourself drift, everything is calm, and your breathing becomes more relaxed. It's peaceful…

Until, a sudden push to your body almost makes you tumble over, forcing you to wake and catch yourself. Stumbling to the side your eyes are looking for where the nudge came from, then narrow at the source. Kaine Parker, of course, it was from Kaine your…friend? You guess that's what you should categorize him as considering nothing else seems to be fitting. 

Though you have to use the friend term loosely considering you two are always at each other's throats but you will still hang out on occasion. He’s your permanent pain in the ass, and you think he prefers it that way. 

Peter B had introduced the two of you when you were new to HQ, and the first impression he made was not exactly a pleasant one. When you had put your hand out to shake his hand, he huffed and pushed past you. After that, you thought you wouldn’t see him anymore but the two of you always seemed to keep running into each other, sometimes literally. For some reason you two just couldn’t seem to get away from each other, not that it made him any friendlier. 

Then when you two had to work together on a mission, you thought he hated you considering how he acted. Pushing you out of the way so he could fight, yelling curse words at you, giving you an attitude, and then the cherry on top after the mission was over he would ignore you. Finally, you had enough after a couple of missions and run-ins and you let him have a piece of your mind. 

You still remember how you laid into him, yelling at him about his foul disposition. Telling him how people should be nice when working on missions together, and finally saying you're not going to let him push you around, you can and will push right back. You're not scared of him like everyone else was. 

Once done, you expected him to fly off the handle at you or curse you or something, however, this was not what you were met with. What you were met with was a scowling Kaine, deep brown eyes tracing over you, taking you in, then with a tilt to his head he gave you the thing that made your eyes widen and heart race. The intimidating harshness of his eyes softened to a lidded stare as his lips curled into a sideways smirk, a smug mhmpf seemed to leave his chest before he turned away from you without a word. Since that day, Kaine and you have had an odd friendship. 

The two of you started going on more missions together, sparring together, and eating lunch together on occasion. Maybe he had taken your anger to heart and wanted to make up for it. Though, as the two of you slowly started to get to know each other better, there was something that you learned about Kaine, he loved to pick fights with you…

Kaine didn’t do it all the time but you did start to notice that he started to pick fights with you more and more. Pushing your buttons in only the way he could, then have you push his buttons right back. It drove you insane always having to endure these playfights, sometimes he would win sometimes you would win. In the end, you two always seemed to get back in good graces with each other. Though the play fights have been getting a bit more heated lately…and with this growing frustration in your chest when you're around him you're finding that your anger towards him is feeling different lately…

Like right now as you're finding your feet again you're feeling mad for being awoken so rudely but when you see his tall figure auburn hair cascading down loosely you feel something else and it's making your chest ache making you even more irritated, especially sense what happened last time. 

Kaine keeps his eyes forward and his strong arms folded, acting like he didn’t just nudge you awake. You stare daggers into him before rolling your eyes and going back to his side, eyes narrowed in irritation as you occasionally glance up at him taking in his sharp jawline and flawless hair. Seriously, what is he using in it?  

As your irritation builds so does your confusion, why the hell is he deciding to bother you now? Not able to come up with an answer to this question you decided to just get him back quickly, no way you're going to let him win this. When he pushes you back, he knows this so why test you? Folding your arms you stiffen your body and ram yourself discreetly into his side forcing him to step sideways. Kaine turns his head towards you furrowing his brow as you give him a look of ‘yeah, I did that, fight me.’ -You should have known he would take the invitation. 

Kaine turns so he's now staring you down, you're trying to just ignore his imposing figure, but your concentration is broken when he punches your shoulder; albeit pretty gently compared to when you two spare. The action seems to start drawing attention to the people around you two, but you don’t notice…no…this means war..,.

Turning to face him you clench your fist and punch him back in the shoulder with a bit more force than he did you but not enough for him to go flying, just enough to make him step back. Kaine looks at you dumbfounded for a second before he approaches you at a brisk pace, narrowing your eyes, you lift your arms and brace yourself. Perhaps You should have just let it go? Retaliation of violence is not always the best answer but you're just not going to take his shit, he knows that, and that's why he starts it..just like a perfect pain in the ass.  

A few moments later, cut to you and Kaine wrestling in the middle of the meeting hall with hundreds of eyes looking at you two in shock. The meeting has come to a halt. Some have tried to separate you two but when they tried they were met with threats from you and Kaine. You're both throwing punches, kicking, arguing, and pinning each other down in harsh grunts; till finally Peter B and Ben are pulling you two off each other before Miguel can make his way over. 

As you're being pulled away in haste by Ben away from the scene of the crime you turn and your eyes lock with Kaines as he is being walked in the opposite direction by Peter. Kaine's eyes meet your fuming ones then he gives you that smirk that has your heartbeat racing and fist tightening once more. 

“Uhg! Why does he always have to start stuff with me?”, you yell out to Ben as you deliver a barrage of punches to his forearms. 

“Maybe he was just playing around with you? Better than him trying to fight to hurt you…trust me…” 

You dodge the returning punches from Ben but are not quick enough to avoid the sudden leg sweep he delivers making you fall to the ground. Landing on your back with a slam, you just lay there limply for a minute still feeling sour. Sparring with Ben should be releasing some of your frustrations, but it seems to fail because your mind is still going back to you and Kaine's little stunt during the meeting that ended up with a grade-A ass chewing from Miguel. Now both of you are stuck on night duty for the next couple of weeks. Thanks a lot, Kaine… 

Ben holds his hand out to you, “Night duty isn’t so bad, I use the time to think about my past and practice some new moves like that one.” 

Grabbing his hand you stand back up and dust yourself off, “Well I am happy it works for you but I’m still irritated Kaine got me in trouble….and now I’m stuck with the worst duty…I had afternoons! I loved my afternoon shifts! Now I will have to deal with him tonight…one of us won’t make it out alive…” 

Ben laughs before nudging his head towards you, “You sure you want to fight with him again?” 

You look at him confused before turning around and seeing Kaine thrusting Peter B into the mat…from the noise Peter croaks out you bet it was painful, good thing man knows how to take a hit.

You and Kaine haven’t spoken, you were irritated and didn’t feel like trying to make niceties with Kaine again, you wanted him to get the message that his getting your shift changed wasn’t sitting right with you. though he would probably just tell you to get over it already. 

You continue to watch the mountain of a man moving quickly to avoid punches and delivering relentless punches back. Watching him was making you miss sparring with him a bit, he would always change it up on you to keep you on your toes and he would never pull a punch, it made you tougher and you appreciated it about him. Plus, there is the fact that the man did look pretty great dripping with sweat…though those found images need to be pushed down for the moment. 

Ben clears his throat, breaking you from your trance with an almost knowing grin, rolling your eyes, you get back into your stance. As you and Ben start up training again you find yourself getting distracted still. Your eyes keep wandering to the other matt a bit away where you watch Kaine fight. He’s tied his hair back at this point and is huffing as he continues to exert himself. Then for a moment you see him turn his head towards you, brown eyes locking onto yours, you feel your face heat up for a second before you move your attention back to your current opponent. 

Dodging Ben’s attacks your try to will yourself into not getting flustered by Kaine, you are mad at him…yes, you strangely miss him but he’s pissed you off and you're not talking to him till he makes up for what he did…or until you rant at him again, it’s just a matter of seeing what comes first…though you had a feeling what it would be. 

Continuing to half pay attention to your sparring partner you look back over at Kaine again, and that's when you feel your eyes widen and a bolt of electricity jolt through you. Kaines shirt was over his head, taking off his drenched shirt and throwing it down to the ground. His whole body was nothing but muscle and decorated with mouth-watering scars, he practically shined as the sweat rolled down his skin to his happy trail…your mouth went dry at the sight. 

The thought of the last sparring match with Kaine pops into your head as you keep glancing at him. It was a week before the meeting. Kaine had swept your legs forcing you to the ground in a hard crash. As the air had been knocked out of you Kaine was quick to get on top of you and pin your arms above your head. 

The feeling of his weight on you was…nice…then his intense brown eyes stared down at you as he huffed for air. Not many could tire him out during training but you had been working with him so long that you figured out how to challenge him in a fight. Judging from how the sweat glistened on his face and his brows furrowed down at you, you knew you had given him a workout. Then he did the thing you were not expecting, he started to lean down closer to your face. 

His heavy breaths fanning over your face made a rush of excitement go through you, you still remember how it smelt like cinnamon and was hot on your skin like a summer's breeze, If only he went lower on your neck, it would have made your body shake. Kaine's eyes were soft and lidded, and his lips were just a hair away, for a moment you thought he was going to kiss you, and you foolishly closed your eyes in anticipation. 

Then his weight was off you and you saw him walking away…leaving you to feel like an idiot….

Back to the present, you feel your chest prang for a moment with the embarrassment you felt. 

Then SMACK!

That pain in your chest was quickly changed to one on your face as Ben landed a hit right to your nose knocking you down. Dammit, even when he’s not here he's messing you with, causing you to get distracted now you're on the mat flat on your ass with a bloody nose. Thanks a lot, Kaine! 

Groaning you sit up holding your bloody nose tilting your head up but Ben quickly tilts it back down. 

“Just let it flow out. I am so sorry I hit you so hard, I didn’t expect to land the hit.” 

“It’s fine, I was distracted and it was a good hit.” 

You start to stand up but you feel yourself give out and you stumble back on your ass. Ben is quick to wrap his strong arms around your waist to help you up and walk to get ice for your nose and patch you up. As you two head towards the lounge your spidey senses go crazy then you suddenly feel two large hands on your shoulders turning you around. 

Staring down at you, Kaine's deep brown eyes take in your messed-up face. Quickly Kaine's eyes flick to Ben and he looks like he could kill him. Without a word, Kaine grabs your hand and pushes past Ben with you in tow.  

You turn your head around and see Peter B. go up to Ben with a smirk before he says something to make Ben burst out in laughter. You try to catch what he might have said but you can’t seem to hear anything past your heartbeat in your ears. Feeling his hand tightening on yours you bring your eyes to his broad back as he leads you to the nearest lounge room. 

Reaching the room Kaine swiftly lifts you onto the counter, and you watch as he quickly finds a rag wets it, and comes back to you still in all his shirtless glory. Wincing in anticipation you think he’s going to wipe the blood up harshly, but to your surprise the feeling of the damp rag to your skin is gentle…

Kaine’s eyes are back to those soft ones you saw above you, you quickly move your eyes. Damn Kaine, why does he make you feel this way? One minute he's a rude jerk, the next he's soft and gentle. It's making you confused…just what is he thinking, how does he feel…why does he have to be so confusing all the time? He's been tying your stomach in knots since you first met him! 

You feel like you have a fever as you try to keep your eyes off his exposed chest, but his proximity and his gentle touches are making it hard at the moment. Snapping you back to the present you feel fingers carefully cup your cheeks, causing you to bring your eyes back to his handsome face. The touch is so soft, he looks so soft…

“Deep breath…” he says in a whisper…

You can’t help how it almost sounds seductive causing you to lean in closer to him…

-Crack!-

“What the hell! That hurt!” you scream. Kaine just huffs as he removes his hands from where he just reset your nose. 

“Serves you right, you let Ben land a punch on you. You're better than that.” 

You open your mouth to say something back, but you just shut it again, you're still angry with him, and his shirtlessness. You know if you start arguing it’s only going to get a rouse out of him and you're not wanting to give him the satisfaction of pissing you off further. Raking your eyes over him one last time you move your head away folding your arms the universal sigh of ‘I’m still mad at you’ 

Kaine tries to meet your eyes but you are being amended not to look at him, despite deep down wanting to. Finally getting annoyed with you he grabs your chin to look at you dead on. 

“Don’t tell me you're still mad.” 

You stare daggers at him and he rolls his eyes, “What? It's not my fault you got your nose broken, you should have been paying attention. You should have asked me to spar with you, this wouldn't have happened.” 

And with that, your blood starts to boil causing the final snap. 

“My nose…my nose!” you swat his hand away from your chin but it only causes him to catch your wrist. You can’t care about that right now all you can think about is ranting. 

“I’m not mad about my nose! Well I mean it hurts…but that's besides the point! Of course, I wouldn’t ask you to spar with me you ass! You're always starting things with me, making me crazy! What is with that? You start fights all the time, and don’t get me started on when we were sparring last time! 

Kaine's eyes widen with the mention of it and you feel your chest pring with the realization that from the way he's looking at you…he's been thinking back on that as much as you have. You quickly try to stumble over it, continuing your rant. 

“I-I uh…and you got me stuck on night duty now! Stuck with you! I mean when you're not driving me crazy you're fine! But lately, you just start fights over nothing! Who knows what you're going to start when we are-” 

Then all your words are silenced, Kaine's lips, press to yours in a fierce hunger stealing all your words from you as he guides your lips against his. His large hands grab your hips and squeeze tightly making you groan into his mouth. Your hands instinctively go to his chest, his skin is hot and you swear you can feel his heart racing underneath your fingertips. You wonder if he can feel how your heart is racing at this moment… 

Almost as quickly as it started, it ended with him breaking away from you to look down at your confused face. He’s got that smirk, the same one he always wears when you're mad at him. The one that makes your heart race and all your thoughts evaporate into a haze. 

“Wha-why-huh?” You stammer out.

Kaine brings his hand to rub your cheek, “I couldn’t help it, you look good when you're all pissed off.” 

Your eyes widen at the confession and everything starts to make sense, the fighting…the confusing gestures. Right as you're getting it he pinches your cheek and then starts to walk off leaving you stunned. Then your senses come back to you.  

“Wait! You can’t just kiss me like that then leave!” You yell at him as you get off the counter fighting your now jelly-like legs to catch up to him. 

Of course, he starts something again and doesn't finish it. You will see him tonight however…maybe you can give him another piece of your mind….and get some more kisses...

[aqualovesart]

CHECK IT OUT EVERYBODY! Here's my very Legacy of Kain first of fan art I'm sharing on here, my 25th anniversary fan art of Legacy of Kain: Soul Reaver. And I based it off the NTSC cover for the game too, because let's be fair, it's REALLY hecking badass and just straight up cool and epic to look at

To put things into perspective, here's how the cover originally looks

I would say too, this is probably one the most ambitious drawings I've ever made, and I honestly love the final result of it

I would say though, I'm a bit miffed that I drew the left mark on Raziel's cowl wrong, but other than that, I still adore the drawing, and I was SUPER HYPED about sharing it, especially on the 25th anniversary of one of my all time favorite video games ever made. And also the first ever PS1 game that I finished and 100%-ed too

So yeah. I love this series, I love this game, and I love making fan art of it, and happy 25th anniversary to Legacy of Kain: Soul Reaver!

[daily-rayless]

25 Years of Rosa

I've been doing this character appreciation series for a while now, and it's about time we got to a very special character – the first character from the first JRPG I ever played that I first really fangirled over – the first character that was my Number One Favorite Video Game Character – Rosa Farrell from Final Fantasy 4.

June 1999

We are going so far back that I have no idea what my first Rosa fan art was. It's not this – but I wanted to highlight it because I was incredibly proud of myself. Rosa, all sad and anguished because she's missing Cecil.

But let's talk some about her, the good and the -- maybe? -- bad.

October 1999

I first played FF4 in May 1999, on a rickety and unreliable Super Nintendo. The cartridge was prone to failure and wiped out my first save once I'd gotten the team underground. But by then, I was invested, too invested to give up and play Chrono Trigger or something. I had to find out what happened to Cecil and Rosa and everyone, so I slammed that cartridge right back in and started up a new game. Fortunately, that one lasted all the way through.

January 2000

As I said, it was my first JRPG, and I adored the medium, especially the story. Along with having a rickety SNES, I also had a house with a not-great internet connection, and this was long before you could easily look up Let's Plays and videos of your favorite scenes. Convinced in my young mind that the game might never properly work for me again and would never, I don't know, be republished, I immediately sat down and wrote a detailed, dramatized summary of the whole thing just so I wouldn't forget it.

April 2000

And my favorite element of the story was Rosa, the healer, the archer, the female lead. Maybe it's just that FF4 was my first game, but I like to think there's a special spark to Rosa that makes her stand out.

June 2000

I was bubbling over with enthusiasm and, along with writing out a detailed summary, I subjected my patient and obliging mother to endless dissertations on the characters and story. I specifically remember talking to her about Rosa, and her commenting that Rosa was a traditionally “feminine” character, even “passive” – a healer, a love interest, needing to be rescued not once, but twice.

November 2000

And I think that's worth exploring – as neutrally as possible. On one hand, in fiction we do have a very long history of imperiled, secondary, predominantly supportive heroines, and the fact that so many had to be written that way reflects something bad in the real world. On the other hand, I really do believe that most tropes are just tropes, and even if they've been overused, often badly used, that doesn't mean they can't be used.

August 2001

In a lot of ways, Rosa is a very safe character. Though she's a studied mage and master archer, that's not why she's in the story. Her main involvement is as a love interest, both to the hero Cecil and his rival/best friend Kain.

November 2001

Rosa's reason for joining the adventure comes down to her love for Cecil. She isn't seeking her own quest. She never states a goal that isn't Cecil's. In fairness, the game is very stripped down, and none of the characters voice very complex motives. You could just as easily say Cecil is Cid's reason for joining the adventure.

November 2002

But Rosa's story beats all come down to Cecil and Kain. Surely, on such an adventure, Rosa would grow and discover things about herself, but you never hear about it. What you hear about is her worrying about Cecil, worrying about the fate of the world, taking care of others, and of course getting kidnapped. All very safe, non-disruptive things for a female character.

June 2004

There are even moments where the game leans into a slight but still apparent sexism. At the siege of Fabul, despite Rydia and Rosa being practiced fighters and valuable mages, they're sent to tend to the injured while the men go off to fight.

June 2005

This is echoed at the end of the game when Cecil himself, who knows full well how powerful Rosa and Rydia are, still forbids them to join him in the ending level. There's some brief resistance, but then the girls, in all apparent obedience, quietly leave while the men remain to save the world.

September 2005

Part of it may be that Rosa comes from a very early video game, but if we look at sci-fi/fantasy itself as a genre, we had more boundary-pushing heroines long before the early 1990s, at least in the West. By then, we already had Princess Leia, Red Sonja, Alanna the Lioness, and others.

April 2006

Rosa is brave, talented, and loyal, but is she ultimately a regressive character?

October 2007

I don't know if I have a perfect answer to that. What I do know is that one of the things I've always loved most about Rosa is that she knows her own mind. Yeah, she'll support you. Yeah, she'll cast Protect and Haste on you, and then she'll Cure you when Bahamut takes your HP down to 1. But she does not do it meekly.

2008

One of her first scenes is her comforting Cecil as he deals with his thorny ethical angst. But she quickly stops murmuring kindly to him and tells him he can't just mope and complain about things. He has to take a stand. He has to own his actions – change himself, one of the themes of the game. She sees it long before he does, and she isn't exactly tender as she tells him.

July 2009

She joins the adventure for Cecil, but she doesn't join with him. He leaves without her (she doesn't beg to come with him, she has things to do) and when he goes missing, she sets off on her own in search of him, going faster and getting farther than he did before desert sickness stops her cold.

March 2010

And at the end of the game when this selfsame Cecil, this guy who grew up with her and is in a relationship with her and knows her so well, tells her to go home and be safe while he and the guys save the world, she does meekly turn around and leave. But she doesn't go far. She and Rydia stow aboard his spaceship and travel with him and the men to the moon. Whereupon she tells Cecil, with no ambiguity, that he cannot keep her from coming.

October 2011

Which is a good thing, because I have beaten FF4 many times, and let me tell you, you are not surviving the ending boss without Rosa Curing you, Protecting you, and probably Lifing you more than once.

February 2013

So have I exonerated Rosa? I've shown how assertive she really is. Have I proved she's not regressive?

October (?) 2018

Honestly, I'm not a big fan of the assertive woman = automatically good female character theory. A woman can be physically weak, even psychologically timid, and still be an incredibly interesting, complex, and strong character. And another can be bold and brave and badass and still remain uninteresting and shallow.

2020

But I think I've shown that, whatever Rosa is, she's not passive.

August 2021

Being a back-row archer isn't a problem, being a healer isn't a problem, being conventionally feminine isn't a problem. Even, at the end of the day, being a “safe” character isn't actually a problem. It comes down to how well the character's written – and, even more subjectively, how they connect with the audience.

May 2024

Rosa connected powerfully with me. Since then, other characters have come and eclipsed her number one spot in my heart. But I still love her a lot, and I don't want to see her dismissed.

[shmowder]

Back to your dom/sub tierlist for a bit. Which of the doms and switches on your list would prefer an obedient sub and which would prefer a bratty one?

I personally feel like Andrey would definitely go for a bratty, feisty sub, as would Bad Grief when he's domming. They both seem like they'd be into someone who's a free spirit. When Grief moves into the Cathedral and you don't get rid of Barley, he says, "There's some undeniable freedom inside you." Idk, I keep thinking about that.

Also, something tells me Daniil and Mark might have fun with a brat? Georgiy might get something out of putting them in their place, but I don't know if he'd like it, necessarily.

Everyone else, though, I think would prefer an obedient sub. They're too serious. This is perhaps influenced by the tragic absence of brat bones in my body 😔 I'd love to hear your thoughts even if they're different from mine!

🐿️ anon

Those are really good ideas omfg we are on the same wavelength

All the Kains claim they want an obedient bottom but really, they want a brat to break and wear down until they obey their every word.

Not all the characters hold the same intentions for the type of reader they want. For example, Aglaya would try to get you to obey her every word and follow her rules while Mark Immortell thrives on tricking you and making you accidentally break the rules. Aspity wants you to have blind trust and faith in her while being completely unhinged.

Or the spoiled Reader. Victor would be still try to show he's in control, while someone like Rubin would steal the moon from the sky for you and be at your beck and call for every need. Lara is more authoritarian while Artemy is more sentimental in bed.

The enthusiastic category refers to a bottom reader who makes their partner know how much they want them, how much they're enjoying this and absolutely smitten with their partner.

Dom or top Characters there would be down bad for a reader who showers them in compliments and drowns them in love.

Yulia would absolutely melt from the affection.

While someone like Eva would match your energy and return it tenfolds.

General Block would find your enthusiasm refreshing, especially since he has no use for coyness or shyness. He wants someone direct and as honest about wanting him as he is about them.

Anna thrives under attention and praise, stroking her ego is the best way to ensure she has a great time in bed. She doubles her efforts to impress you and show off her flexibility.

With brat Reader, someone like Maria would get an absolute thrill from breaking you down.

While someone like Georgiy would gradually wear you down and make you concede on your own.

Andrey would take you up on your big talk and all bark no bite, then ask why you're quiet all of the sudden, huh? He earned his arrogance and the right to be confident because he knows he can follow up with his promises.

With Daniil, it's like having a brat off? He'd love an obedient reader just as much ngl, but I had to make him pick a side. He claims he can handle a brat, but absolutely cannot in reality and end up getting his ego hurt when he can't get you to obey him. Dankovsky can only tame the softest of brats.

The powerbottom category is super fitting.

Someone like Oyun would willingly give up power and let you pull him around by the horns and take the lead.

While Katerina would pretend to put up a fight for power and lose at the last minute.

Peter is there because it's less work to do for him during sex, he's– Well he isn't the most attentive partner, you'll do most of the work.

Young Vlad actually wants to be overpowered. He would piss you off deliberately just to have you ride his face out of spite.

-

Isidor is... well... Listen. All of us thought about being sandwiched between Isidor and Simon at least once, right? That is a very normal and common thought that everyone in the pathologic fandom has at least once...right???

He'd want you to obey, that man has very little control about the things around him; his bedroom won't be one of them.

Simon is a little fucking shit I tell you. He'd walk on you and Isidor doing the deed all unbothered just to have a conversation with him then leave without sparing you at glance, at other times he's very attentive in bed and lets you be freely without rules or anything.

[basedkikuenjoyer]

And there we go. Made it through! If you make it to the 12th and final day you're good. The town is calm, the worst of the plague has subsided. You don't really have much of a quest. Just a chance for final talks with people and one last check that sets the tone for which of the four endings you get. A simple one in practice but one that tests how well you played the past 11 days in a cruel way if you didn't know it was coming.

They're rare, but there are cures for the Sand Pest plague. I used one myself early because I didn't want to manage it the whole time but the main way you may burn one is if you fail a day's main quest. The penalty is one of your "bound" citizens falls ill. The logic being that they had to risk going out and getting exposed because you couldn't do the thing. You get as a grace a chance to save them the next day. (Psst. Bachelor has a "hidden" Bound that's really obvious to replace one who dies no matter what.)

I made it through fine other than missing some of the late side quests about the Kain Family. Sure I checked a walkthrough in a couple of places but truth be told...I feel like that was just a shortcut. The game is hard but less in a technical proficiency way and more in a "save often" way. Trial and error, figuring out obtuse clues. The walkthrough was more a function of me not having the time I did when I was a kid. Pathologic throws some mean challenges but there's always a way and while it can be a little obtuse...no moreso than Morrowind could be. The time limit is rough but make a save at the start of each day you know? Likewise with being able to fail some quests with bad dialogue choices. A little social IQ and treating characters like people with real motivations got me through those.

Now, the other playable characters exist in the story no matter who you play. But they'll typically do a worse job than if you played them well. So on the last day, they'll finally swallow their pride and ask you to cure some of their Bound. I was hoping to get at least one...but Artemy the Haruspex actually did well and didn't have any sick ones and I had enough medicine for Clara the Changeling's. So...IYKYK but I'll use a cut to preserve the secret ending:

Even knowing it was coming it was still cool as hell. I love this shit. If you save one of your other PC's group of Bound you'll get a letter from "The Powers that Be." Requesting you go to the big mystical Polyhedron structure and meet with them directly. And they're...two kids playing a game about a plague as a way of coping with the death of a loved one. Stuff like this can be hokey but Pathologic does it well by playing it straight. Daniil Dankovsky is pissed to find out he's a doll in a weird sandbox game. Watching the condescending prick have a crisis of faith was the best part of this experience to me. And that's a key part of this. Each character will have a different, unique experience with this revelation.

That's the difference between Pathologic and something like the classic St. Elsewhere ending pulling the rug on the last scene showing it was all the daydreams of an autistic boy looking at a snowglobe. This isn't a last-minute fuck you because we don't know how to end it, it's all part of the play. Clara the Changeling figures it out well before this point in her story.

If you can save all three groups of Bound though, as you leave this meeting with the children you'll get one more letter. From "The Makers." Go to the theatre and you'll see the iconic Executor (plague doctor dude) and Tragedian (mask dude). These represent the actual developers. Which is also very cool. I love the Tragedian one responding to "What are you" with "Huh? A mass of pixels on a screen. But you already knew that the whole time right?" Now that we're at the end they don't need to go through the rigamarole of dressing this up through talking with Daniil Dankovsky. He's been through enough. They're talking with me the player here.

Once again, this evolves through seeing it through the three stories. And if you're worried I've given it all away please understand this was still super cool to experience even having more of it spoiled than I have here. Very few things can pull of something this meta as well as Pathologic did. And I'm happy to have crossed one of these three chapters off my list. Though it was a pretty heavy experience so I'll likely wait a little before taking on the Haruspex.

[quaddmgd]

so i played soul reaver 1 remastered up to the Sarafan Tomb and i really enjoy the visual changes and QOL features added.

new models look great and and at times terrifying when they have to. i love that some of them got granted some semblance of facial animation. i liked the facial animations of tr remastered more, but anything is much better than what we had on PS1.

i like the texture work much better than disjointed hd textures of tr remastered; here it feels more like just playing a new port of soul reaver (kinda like the dreamcast version but on a much greater scale) instead of an hd texture mod (most of which suck for such old games).

overall there are less noticeable visual changes than tr remastered thanks to the original soul reaver's lighting. it still does look great no matter which graphics you choose, but remastered looks give you also better player shadows and some dynamic lighting from the reaver and other stuff that should give off light.

both new (beautiful) map and compass are fun to look at and give locations the much needed spacial context without having to remember blood omen's map (or playing bo in general). i imagine they are helpful for new players, but i can't tell for sure since i kinda moved around from memory.

i LOVE the brand-new day-night cycle. corrupted nosgoth at night looks even gloomier than i imagined. at first i thought it wasn't that noticeable, but it turned out i just hadn't reached the night yet. one small gripe - it can make platforming very hard due to no light sources around the map. idk if it really needs to be fixed since i only played through one night so far but yeah. maybe give raziel an optional light aura like of an angel he is... idk we'll see.

as of now i only found a few minor issues, which is not a lot compared to what tr fans found in their respective remasters. first of all the lighting issues are non-existent here since the game uses its original lighting. the skybox after emerging outside for the first time gets messed up in one place due to weird mountain geometry, raziel's new model once obscured the original camera framing for a second and in a few liminal spaces the camera goes haywire as the game takes a second-long stutter - something that wasn't there in the original release.

overall it's worth every penny and i love it. i love that i can call it a definitive way to play soul reaver. i can finally recommend these games to people that don't have older hardware or don't know how/like to use emulators.

i only skimmed through bonus content and haven't played the lost levels yet, so i'm hyped to do that. i've seen some familiar art and names in the fanart section, though, and it made me smile.

and since, like tr, both games run on their original engines i was hoping for the file structure to be as open as back then and i'm not disappointed! can't overstate how great this is for data mining and modding.

i'm so happy that legacy of kain is back and i can only hope for it to stay that way, especially with the dead shall rise and other projects on the way. i really hope to see defiance getting remastered one day, maybe with some new gameplay QOL features, possibly alongside both blood omen 1 and 2 as a new remaster package. without it i doubt we'll get a direct sequel that would finally finish the story after it was left on a cliffhanger 21 years ago.

[glassshard]

Whenever I don’t like a major piece of media I really like to analyze why. Ever since the RLM Star Wars Prequels reviews I’ve found this exercise super helpful. I think it’s even more helpful than analyzing why I love a piece of media, since my heart is a lot more shallow than my head, and will happily latch onto media with all kinds of problems simply because a boy was stabbed in a sexy way or the music was good.

But after ten hours of Baldur’s Gate 3 this weekend, I just had to drop it. I don’t like the game. It charmed me at first with its high production values and its excellent exploration, but my ardour cooled quickly as it began to butt up against my personal predilections. At first it did so in totally subjective ways with its unlovable D&D mechanics. I don’t know D&D and the game did not have any interest in teaching me about it. It just kinda throws you into a system that has no place in a video game in my opinion, full of unnecessary tedium and opaque mechanics. But you know what, that’s just me. Plenty of people love it. I could deal with bad gameplay, I like lots of games that play like crap. Let me sing you a song of the Legacy of Kain series.

But then the story failed to grip me. It’s written like fanfiction, with no explanation for any of the races, proper nouns, or concepts because you’re expected to already know them. I love in media res, but c’mon. Ya know what though? Still just my opinion. Open world games are super popular, lots of people love them. Remember how much you enjoyed Dark Souls? Look at that vampire, keep going. Sure he’s walking around during the day and vampirism in this setting just seems to equate to some Spirit Halloween accessories but it’s fine!

But then! But then! Then that vampire killed my character in a cutscene! And I thought that was GREAT. Unexpected! Finally! The game’s getting good! I’m invested! I’ll need to save scum and reload but-

Wait, I don’t need to? That wasn’t a game over? I can... I can rez my character? My character died in a story cutscene and I can have another character rez them with a scroll? And then... then I can go talk to the vampire because he’s still hanging around? But I can’t even tell the other party members about it? This is... this is not right. This feels objectively not right.

You can’t use a game mechanic to rez a story death. That’s not how this works. That’s like if Cloud had pulled out a phoenix down on Aeris or Corvo just started shoving jellied eels down the dead Empress’ throat. That is deflating the very concept of death in the game. There are no stakes now. Why should I care about anything? Why do people even hate vampires in this world if death can be cleaned up with a square of toilet paper available from any shop?

Still, I pushed on, in a stubborn daze. This was a sixty dollar game, I had to keep trying!

The underwear inventory slots felt juvenile but that’s fine, that’s fine. The character designs are extremely Ren Faire, but no big deal. One of the party members is named after a Care Bear but don’t be superficial, Ashley. I can equip armour I’m not proficient in and the game’s not going to tell me why I shouldn’t, but I’m not going to take it personally. The mind control mechanic is making every interaction feel cheap and silly, and all the parasitized party members feel fake and offputting. It seems very contrived that they’re traveling together, and I don’t understand why my character would remain in the company of ANY of them when he himself knows they have his same mind-control powers and can never be trusted and sometimes the illithid powers are framed as course-altering and sometimes they’re not and nothing is consistent except the cartoonish characterization of the “evil” races but it’s fine, it’s fine, keep going

But then I got to a portion where my character was able to ask a dead Mindflayer questions about the plot. And I realised, sharply: I do not care about the answers. I do not care about this world or this cast or any schemes at play. No immersion will be happening; my suspension of disbelief is irrevocably snapped. This is a Saturday morning cartoon with dicks.

And it all really went back to rezzing that story death. While a lot of my gripes about this game are completely subjective and to do with my own tastes, I think it’s objectively bad design to allow a story death resurrection. It deflated everything for me and I couldn’t recover.

So! I did not like Baldur’s Gate 3, and in my mind my character’s story ended when their trusting nature was exploited by a vampire, and they were killed. But the experience did teach me some interesting things about my own tastes, and what I require to become invested in a video game narrative.