#still for a bunch of stupid reasons haven't gotten to see either of them who are here

[max1461]

Life infinitely sucks

[fireheartedpup]

I think my birthday has become a trigger for me. There's no one to invite. It's nice that my parents still want to go all out, but I don't know what to tell mom because I don't want to do anything.

No one here cares about the pandemic and I'm not even sure how much to care anymore because they stopped caring when it was still in full swing. I haven't gotten covid even though I haven't avoided my family, who stopped taking precautions a few months in and think masking is stupid, so what have I even been doing? Has it done anything at all?

I'm still happy that I haven't gotten sick other the built in body issues in... how long has it been? Five fucking years? But I miss feeling normal.

I don't want to live here and I don't want to do this and I don't know what to do even when I know what to do. The only thing that really motivates me is being angry. I hate being angry.

I don't want to live in this reality and I don't have enough money to move and whenever anyone tries to change things here, they're met with a bunch of people saying you can't change things here because we haven't changed things here so you can't change things here.

I think my dog deserves better and I don't have enough money to pay off my debt, much less a specialist. She's not neglected or anything I just have higher standards now. I'm probably still alive because of her. If I die, no one will know for days. Maybe a week or more. No one's coming to check on me.

Mom might come eventually but mom comes sporadically because she tries to give me space. I flip between wanting to cut my parents out entirely and just wanting to see them. They're still conservative and I can never trust them the same way again, but they've supported me the entire time.

I did beg for some of it. But they have supported me.

Dad's cranky because prices are going up and he didn't plan on supporting me this long and he's in the same position I am. I inherited the no friends disease. I'm fucking pedigreed in mental illness. He likes drinking wine even though eating makes him throw up now. He doesn't want to see a normal doctor.

His mom has had many cancerous growths removed. I should probably get ready to deal with his stuff.

Mom clearly wants to leave and doesn't feel she can. It's tough when being with someone makes your life harder, but you can see them actively getting better. I think it's one reason she wants to keep her flight attendant job even though she's becoming less and less physically able. She can just pick up and leave whenever she wants.

I feel stupid and useless for not earning enough by now. I know that's not entirely realistic because I read it takes two years to get over an abusive environment and it's only been one. My parents love me, but living in that house put me in fight or flight mode every time I went to the kitchen.

I feel paralyzed and when I try to look up jobs I want to break down entirely. I've made half-hearted attempts to build my own thing but it feels like I'm never able to pick the right thing, that I'll always burn out, that I can never tell what's going to work, that every thing I'm actually excited about is doomed to fail.

Sometimes I don't even want to support people because it feels like my support is the death knell for their cause.

I'm trying to restructure my thinking. I spend almost all of my time doing that. It's difficult to escape the social media whirlpool when social media is so attached to so many different forms of monetary income these days.

I thought I could get free therapy with my insurance so I could bounce this off of a therapist instead of tumblr or a random person but I'm not sure anymore so I gave up.

I feel like I'm overwhelmingly tired and negative and hurt and angry and that no one should have to deal with that.

I'm trying to make friends with my neighbors, but either I don't text back in enough time or they just don't respond. I don't know why or where or when it goes wrong. I start avoiding everyone because I'm waiting for it to go wrong.

I want to get on medication but I just saw that thing about the autistic licenses in MY state. The government doesn't want me. They don't even want me to exist. I don't want to give them the option of using it against me in any way.

It's very hard to get myself out of a spiral. I should probably look into ocd help a bit more. I don't know if that's me or if this is an offshoot of something else, but either way it's connected.

The recent blog thing has just reinforced me feeling stupid and isolated. I'm very grateful for the people who've been here for me. I don't want anyone to ever feel obligated to support me. But I'm having a really hard time.

And it feels stupid to be having a hard time. I have more than most.

I want to live in a different reality.

[loregoddess]

14, 15, 25 for the Love your fandom ask

14) the ship that always makes you smile Hmm, for long-running media, probably Midna x Link from LoZ:TP, bc that's basically the oldest ship in my fleet and it still brings me lots of joy. For mid-running media, probably Kay x Franziska for AA (my first rarepair), Rinea x Faye for FE:SoV (rarepair I wasn't expecting to see others ship), and Ashe x Dedue (literally got me to go out of my comfort zone to figure out how to draw cute ship art, when I was really bad and afraid of drawing people interacting). For stuff that I've gotten into over the past year, probably Alear x Pandreo from FE:Engage, and Mineru x Purah from LoZ:TotK (also I'm kinda silly goofy happy about Jin x Xiaoyu finally getting some development in Tekken 8, but that's bc I had to suffer watching it come to fruition over like, 20 years of my life, slowest goddamned slowburn I've ever had to endure).

15) the character that always makes you smile Oh, lots and lots. Long-running media would be Shad LoZ:TP, love that guy, I get excited anytime I see him. For mid-running, Satoru Hosonaga, my beloved from DGS/tGAA, a decent number of FE characters (Kurthnaga, Rhys, Libra, Flora, Lukas, Faye, Dedue, Ashe, and Ferdinand come to mind off the top of my head), most of the FF7 cast but esp. Red XIII/Nanaki. For more recent things, Alear and literally any of the Engage characters actually, the Octo2 crew (and also the Octo1 crew, and a fair amount of NPCs from both games); I also read Dungeon Meshi recently and I gotta say one of the most casts of all time, I haven't settled on favorites yet but damn were there some good characters.

25) a piece of advice for taking care of yourself in fandom spaces Block button is your bestie, don't feel bad for blocking people for any reason whatsoever so that you can peruse the fandom tag in peace. But also, if you find other fans who are making stuff you enjoy, support them by reblogging their art or headcanons or writing or whatever, or even just liking their stuff.

Do what you want to see in your fandom if you have the energy. I like to see people excited about things they love, whether that's a character or a ship or something about the story or their OCs or their own headcanons, like, doesn't even matter if it's not my Thing, I genuinely enjoy seeing people happy and brave enough to share that happiness in the main tag, so I try to also share stuff that brings me joy when I engage with fandom stuff too. Share joy when you can.

This is not to say you should never be negative ever like, you should also give yourself space somewhere to be a petty snob about things that tick you off. You don't have to make it public, but at the very least give yourself an outlet to let the negative move through and out of you. Believe me there are so many things that tick me off so much about either fandom spaces or various media that I could rant about for hours, but I just choose Not To Share It after I've written it out bc writing it often makes me feel better--or I go and find a trusted friend who I can be like, "Hey I gotta vent about something stupid real fast, will you hear me out?"

Lots of things in life are never all positive or negative feelings, but no emotion is inherently good or bad, so it's important to let yourself feel those emotions and let them pass without bottling them up. Otherwise they stagnate or explode, and neither is fun to deal with the aftermath for. But like, it's okay to be pissy about things from time to time.

Have fun, but never feel like you have to engage with a fandom just because you used to be a part of it, or you got into a new thing. I treat fandom like a public park, I can go there when I want to enjoy myself but I can also leave anytime I want. If a bunch of mean people are hanging around the park I know there are other parks, and I can just go to those instead and cultivate my own little garden to make up for the park I won't go to anymore. I might even get to invite some friends to that garden. Honestly, most of the time I'm some weird forest hermit who only comes out sometimes to haunt the park, and I think that's just fine as well. Engage with fandom in a way that makes you comfortable.

[mbrainspaz]

I'm stuck in a strange place in the horse industry, different from the strange place I used to be. It's all down to the fact that I snuck in through the service entrance, metaphorically. Also literally. Ever since I finally bought my own horse I've been marginally accepted into the social circle of the barn I work at. I'm still noticeably an outsider but there is a level of respect as a 'fellow horse owner' I didn't experience before. Horse ownership isn't a direct ticket to that respect because you can easily be written off as a Bad horse owner if you're no good at it. That's worse than not being a horse owner. I seem to have passed that bar at least.

The next hurdle to acceptance is being seen as a competent rider, and that's a doozie. To be seen as a competent rider you have to pay for gear and lessons and trainers. I have some talent and some skill left over from the sporadic lessons my parents paid for when I was a teenager, but my reputation definitely suffers from the 10 year gap where I could barely afford to touch a horse and from my low status as a stable hand. I used to be a barn manager, was supposed to still be a manager, but that's a tangent.

A nearby barn recently reached out to me with an opportunity to be a trainer and I tried to just roll with it. They saw two videos of me riding and immediately wrote me off. It's so frustrating. Whatever. Stupid job probably had shit pay anyway, AND they had ties to the same damn white supremacists I've been trying to get away from ever since I moved out here. Ugh. Don't even get me started on that rot.

I still want to improve. I just can't afford a trainer who could help me at my riding level and at my age. There's a difference between a $45 kids' lesson and a $150 dressage lesson. Even if I wanted to throw my housing savings fund away I can't just go out and pick a trainer who does $150 lessons. It doesn't help that a bunch of the trainers who saw me doing my best to ride (after 10 years of not riding) immediately dismissed me as 'not worth their time' and have refused to teach me even if I could afford them. I've been working to improve for a year on my own but I can't seem to get that respect back no matter where I look. It's so frustrating it makes me want to scream into my saddle pad. I'm SORRY I'm not another rich brat who had easy access to everything they ever needed to succeed in this stupid bougie industry. I'm sorry my saddle is trashy, my riding pants are hand-me-downs, and my boots are the ones I got for my 12th birthday. Sorry I'm a bit disabled and my horse is old. I'm doing my best. That doesn't matter. I feel like I'll never escape being seen as the local peasant who, at best, gets pats on the head for trying.

A respected German trainer saw me riding the other day and had a lot of good things to say. I know I've improved and gotten back to a decent level. Did I understand what the hell he was saying while he was praising me? Barely. He had no interest in actually training me either.

I've heard of success stories where poor riders were taken on as proteges by trainers who put them on paths to successful riding careers. That's how one of my former bosses supposedly made it. But I'm already too old for that to ever happen, even if it were a reasonable thing to hope for. And who knows how honest those 'success stories' really were about their struggles. Sometimes you'll hear a story about a rider who beat the odds and it's like, 'their family only had ONE mansion.'

Honestly ever since I realized I was doomed to be labelled An Outsider at like age 16 I've loathed their exclusive insider club bullshit so much that I don't even want in. I just want to be allowed to ride and learn to ride better, and they're still gatekeeping that from me. All it would take is for one person with a little bit of pull in the industry to see me and believe in me. Never gonna happen.

I haven't even addressed the existence of the class of non-bougie horse owners here. There's another, less respected path into the industry that is 'being poor but having parents who own a piece of land where they live in a leaky trailer but still have horses.' I don't even have that level of respect as a first time horse owner. Those kids who were poor but raised with horses are the only ones who actually seem to have a chance. I'm totally lost somewhere between those people and the rich kids who had it all given to them. My parents paid for a few lessons but hated horses and, I found out much later, actively worked to sabotage any social progress I made because they didn't want me to go down what they saw as the spoiled horse brat pipeline. Mission accomplished I guess.

I'm stuck between floors on this elevator ride and nobody is coming to help me.

At least I'm stuck in the metaphorical elevator with my horse. He's the only reason I've stuck it out this long.

When he's gone I'll probably ditch this dream and this stupid snobby industry for good and never look back.

[iwannaban0nym0us]

time for a ramblely post about my life because i'm actually really happy rn

so my partner holy shit they're so amazing i don't even know how to explain it but everything they do just proves how incredible they are,, like we haven't said "i love you" to each other but i feel 100x more loved by them they i ever did by my ex who must have told me they loved me at least 100 times

ok btw i have no idea where this post is gonna go it's probably just gonna be a bunch of random thoughts all lumped together

so uh the reason i've been fairly inactive lately is because it's robotics comp season! Our first comp was last weekend meaning that the week leading up to it I was super busy trying to help get all the things to work (they still didn't lol) friday and saturday were insanely long days that were fun but also so tiring

we barely got things working in time on friday to clear inspection and make it to one practice match and then on saturday we had the worst possible schedule (first match of the day, a random match, last match before lunch, then 2 10min turn arounds, and then last match of the day) the most stressful part of the day was when in the last match before lunch we overextended our arm, pulled out all of the electronics, broke the extension spool, and got 25 penalty points. we spent lunch trying to fix all of that and also change out wheels (we didn't have a chance before because of our shit schedule) and also someone thought it would be a good idea to swap intakes but then we had to unswap intakes because the new one was too big and then the two very fast turn arounds after that were hella stressful

we actually ended up wining our last match of the day tho and i'm very proud of that since i took lead on the strategy talk before the match

then sunday we had a better match schedule and won one lost one so we ended quals 39/42 and therefore didn't go to playoffs, and me being the so so smart person that I am decided that since the other goalie was out sick it would be a great idea to go to my soccer game that afternoon (after 2.5 long tiring days of robotics)

And so I did and by the end of the game i felt like i was gonna fall asleep and i don't know how i managed to make several good saves and we only lost 5-0 (2 of their goals were super lucky tho) I am really glad i went since i got to see an ex-teammate and teammate who might quit the team soon for running and i hadn't seen either of them since last season

this week i've had a bit more time and monday i was so so so tired that during my freeblock which i usually use for hw since i have no free time i just hung out w/ my partner and was like half asleep the whole time, me and my partner also skipped an assembly on burnout because we were both too tired (they had a vaulting comp at the same time as my robotics comp) also tuesday i skipped soccer because of the weather so i got a whole afternoon off

over the next 2 weeks i'm only gonna have 5 days of school because we get next wed-fri off for conferences and then i'm at robotics the following thurs-sat which i think is kinda funny

uh anyway shifting gears,,, thursday i had my gender and sexuality class w/ my ex and since the teacher was out we spent the whole time in small groups talking about quotes from our hw reading and I ended up w/ a friend and my ex and ofc my ex felt the need to read out each of the quotes which normally would be like whatever but for some reason that day i just could not deal w/ their voice or their strong opinions on stupid things

there was one point where their voice had gotten to me so much that i just kinda zoned out and then they had the audacity to ask me if I was ok and that threw me for a fucking loop because when we were dating the only time they would notice something was off was when i was tired not when something was actually going on, like the day where they caused me to have a mental breakdown i was very clearly not ok that afternoon and they didn't say a single thing despite us having class together and so for them to say something now despite me having made it clear we're not friends ??????????

also i was in this state where I was torn between why does their voice still hurt me so fucking much and why don't i hate them more they did some really shitty things to me and i'm just so confused how i can feel both of those things about them and aaaa i just want them to go away

ok this has gotten long enough and i have some things i need to do so i'll probably reblog this later to talk about yesterday :)

[quietwingsinthesky]

Pssst! I sent an ask about this a while back, and I'm not sure if you haven't gotten to it, or the ask got eaten. If you haven't gotten to it, I'm sorry for the repeat ask and I understand, take your time :) But in case it got eaten, I'm curious: what are your fave parts of the star wars franchise? Like, which movie, characters, ships, etc?

alsofjfkfk im not gonna lie, anon, i saw it and went ‘oh cool i’ll answer that in a minute’ and the second i closed my inbox, my lack of object permanence kicked in and i forgot it existed. and then i repeated that process. many, many times.

but i will not allow it to happen again. we’re answering this now, damnit.

okay, see, the thing about me is i am an extremely basic star wars bitch. i have seen all of the movies. i have not read any books or comics. my friend in high school made me watch 1 episode of the mandalorian, and i went ‘haha cool! baby yoda!’ and then never watched more of it. (the fact that i don’t have disney+ contributed to this, but really, if i had tried, i’m sure i could have made do. i did not try.) i tried very very hard at one point to get into the clone wars show, and i remember only that there was some sort of small jabba the hutt and yoda telling some clones that their lives were meaningful in the force or something, so i have no idea how far i made it but probably not very. i have played exactly one game, jedi: fallen order, which my playstation tells me i 100%, but for the life of me, i can’t remember a single thing about it other than ‘robot buddy cute’ and ‘fun 👍’, which either is my incredibly small brain showing off its inability to store information or really doesn’t bode well for the quality of whatever story was in there lmao.

BUT. i love the movies. i’m a stupid sucker for the joy and hope of the original trilogy. i think the prequels are so fun and people are mean to them for no reason, like yes, they’re a mess, but you know how sometimes you look at a product and go ‘oh this is so corporate and soulless that nothing about it is worth seeing with my eyeballs?’ the prequels are not that. people cared about making these movies, and i can always be charmed when i can tell that there was love there, even if it didn’t work as perfectly as it wanted to.

which is probably why i’m so fond of the force awakens despite it all, because watching it feels like everyone there cared so so much about the new potential star wars. i remember watching behind-the-scenes when it first came out and seeing them talk about how they mixed practical and cgi effects for a bunch of the aliens, and i fell in love with finn because his character was basically catnip for me. my traumatized cat who was abducted and brainwashed and raised a soldier and still his heart was too big to be destroyed by the first order. poe was fun for the little screentime he had, and rey was aloof and fierce and hurt underneath it all, and kylo ren had so much fucking potential as the villain and foil for rey & finn that it actually causes me physical pain knowing what happened next. and han was there! until he died! i was heartbroken about it! it was a well-executed death! leia was there, and i could never shake the tragedy that this war she’d fought so hard to win in her youth had never really ended, that now she had to fight it alone again when luke left and han ran away. luke was not there, but this was pre-the last jedi, so i could actually be excited about what he might do when he showed up! the force awakens is a good movie.

the last jedi is a very pretty movie. the rise of skywalker feels like what everyone thinks the prequels are like. i do not watch those movies. i just mentally replace them with the utterly fantastic fic have you heard by peradi and pretend that we did get a stormtrooper rebellion <3 (if you haven’t read it, you should.)

what else, what else. i am incredibly boring when it comes to favorite characters in each trilogy, it’s just The Main Guy. i already talked about finn, but. anakin and luke. my little dudes. anakin has everything ever wrong with him, and i do not blame him for going of the rails. i mean, he did kill a lot of children and help install space facism but have we considered that the jedi were mean to him. and also that palpatine’s been grooming him since he was nine. and also that there is actual literal slavery happening in star wars and the response of everyone around him was to go ‘oh well anakin, guess u gotta let go of the fact that your mother will never be free. and if you can’t, that’s your fault.’ sorry. nope. feeling emotional about how one of the first things baby anakin asks qui-gon when they meet is if qui-gon is here to free them all, because that’s what jedi are supposed to do, they’re supposed to be heroes, and qui-gon tells him they aren’t. and then he does free anakin, and he’s got a fucking lazer sword and magic powers so who the hell would have been able to stop him from at least bringing shmi too, but instead he just takes anakin away. insane choices. george lucas im at your doorstep explain yourself.

and anyone who says they don’t love luke skywalker is a liar. u don’t like luke? luke who wants to see so much more of the universe than his little farm? luke who wants to believe in the force so strongly, his only connection to his father and soon, to obi-wan? luke who blows up the death star because he feels the force so strongly? luke who is such a shining star of hope and goodness and loyalty that han freaking solo turned around and came back to save his ass? and all that just in one movie. luke is so powerfully good, you know? and it had to be that way, the movies just wouldn’t work without him at the core of it. i love him so so much.

ships. well obviously im a c3po/r2d2 stan. as we all know, tragic love story for the ages. im a believer that r2d2 is unmemorywipeable, that trash can is too stubborn to let anything he stores be deleted, so really, we’re looking at the world’s shortest and rudest rebel spy and his overly polite amnesiac husband. im joking but im not.

taking it more seriously, i’m very easily convinced to see main character trios as poly ships. number 1 proponent of padme/anakin/obi-wan over here, a fate sealed by many good fics that i’ve read confirming this. if i may suggest one of my favorites, Queen’s Gambit by bedlamsbard, truly a fantastic star wars au work and it has an incredible podfic by reena_jenkins that inspired me to begin podficcing in the first place. following that, i also love han/leia/luke, in whatever configuration that comes, if it’s just han getting two skywalkers on his arms or if it’s luke and leia also following up on their kiss in empire strikes back. (‘i knew all along’ my ass, girl, either you didn’t or you did and you went straight for the lips alsjfjlssjkf.) From Orbit by gh0strobin is a favorite of mine for them, as well as a bed of daysided gold by lotesse.

and finally, most obviously, i was onboard with finn/poe/rey from day one of the force awakens. the reylos never got me. i was too busy thinking about the main trio kissing. (and i was a ‘rey & ben solo are cousins at least or somethjng’ truther back during force awakens, which for once, meant i had zero interest in shipping them and far more interest in using their possible backstories to explore this fascinating dynamic they had vis a vis the legacy and/or lack of one they inherited, what they were owed as children of legends. and well. i mean, i was kind of right by the end but by god i wish i wasn’t!!!) (and terrible news, i’m realizing that the majority of my post-force awakens reading on ao3 happened before i was bookmarking fics, so i don’t even have recs!!! >:( i need to rectify this immediately. but know that there are many fantastic fics for that trio and you should go looking for them.)

okay, one last round of fic reccing and i’ll leave it be, but there’s some great ones I’d be remiss not to mention. Double Agent Vader is a brilliant Vader character exploration series and it will hurt you and make u love him so so much. The Fires is a Mustafar groundhog day loop that Hurts (and fun fact, was the second fic i ever podficced for myself :( but the files are long gone. still have my first ever podfic though.) And The Force Breathes Once Again is a short and interesting fic about the force being Weird And Fucked Up. And Intertwine is a Padme Lives AU that’s just lovely. so many brilliant fics in this fandom, i swear.

[juniaships]

Yall Some Fake Ass Friends: Malina ficlet

The one where my OC/quasi SI defends TFA!Optimus by setting the record straight for latter's former friends. Warning: Long text, character bashing. Script form.

Black Arachnia *to Sentinel*: I wouldn't look this way if you & Optimus had come and saved me! It's his fault I'm stuck like this!

Sentinel: Optimus ran back to try to save you if anything that's his fault!

Malina: Hold it! *flies up right in front of their faces on her jetpack*

Malina: I've held my tongue for a while now but you know what, I don't care so let's get something straight! What happened to you was not Optimus's fault! He sacrificed a lot to get where he is now.

Sentinel: Oh look the organic is trying to preach to us.

Malina: Well as this organic will preach I haven't seen a single instance where you've made a sacrifice for someone's sake. Especially not for Optimus!

Sentinel: Whaddya mean? I've made plenty of sacrifices for him! I sacrificed my head yet he laughed at me twice!

Malina: Surely you had to give up your prospects of Elite Guard for Optimus right? I mean, he had gave up his rank so you wouldn't get in trouble for sneaking to Archa Seven.

Sentinel: Wait, how do you know about Archa Seven?!

Malina: Your friend told me. In fact he tells me a lot of things see *flaunts the autobot pendant Prime gave her many months ago* But I want to ask, when have any of you ever sacrificed for anyone else?

Blackarachnia: I lost my true self and freedom! You think I liked being in this hideous form? You think you know so much about us when tou have no idea how cruel fate can be.

Malina: Oh I know. Just enough to know that you and Sentinel share something in common

Sentinel: At least I don't join a bunch filthy warmongers *glares pointedly at Arachnia, who hissed back just as venomously*

Malina: I'll give you that but still, none of it would've had happened if you'd just listened to Optimus. He told me he never wanted to break protocol.

Sentinel: Even if I had listened it still would've been the same! Gah I don't have time for this!

Malina: Still not seeing the big picture huh? I guess that giant crown must be giving you vision problems. And I doubt you want to be lost in a stinky, organic-infested jungle so it's better for you to stay riiiight here.

*Sentinel pouts*

Malina: Look what I'm trying to say here is, Optimus sacrificed everything for you yet how do you thank him? By picking on him, picking on us, his team, his real friends, constantly shaming him by bringing up every little mistake he ever made. I bet you didn't even thank him for taking the heat for you! Nor did you even say "I'm sorry for getting you kicked out of Autobot Academy because I was too caught up in my own self"! Your a terrible friend.

Sentinel: Now you're just talking some scrap! I am the perfect friend for him! His BEST friend! The best bot for him!

Malina: You're not a good bot, much less a good friend. In fact I think maybe you weren't friends with him at all. Just someone who wanted to ride on his coattails.

Sentinel: Now that's not true! I did things on my own back at the acadmey! I mean help me Eli- I mean Blackarachnia, tell this stupid organic I was a fantastic student back in the day!

*Blackarachnia remains slient; her ex starts getting nervous*

Sentinel: I have a great personality! When my best friend comes back he'll tell you! I make great rules so that Cybertron can go back to the way it was! No even better, a brand new Golden Age!

Malina: Your poor decision-making reflects your poor personality, Sentinel Magnus. You tricked your own citizens by accepting bribes from some Decepticons, you know, the enemy faction. You don't bother to learn my planet's culture or traffic laws for that matter. At least I try to learn Cybertornian ways so that I can communicate with your people better. You on the other hand? Always make messes for someone else to clean up while you slink away lying about how great and competent a leader you are. You talk down to my kind as if we're too stupid to understand the world. Not even giving us a chance. If that's your idea of a Golden Age I'd hate to see your idea of a Dark Age.

Blackarachnia *grinning at her ex being roasted: Hm. Maybe this little organic got more spark than I thought.

Malina: Oh no you don't Miss Spider! Don't act like you're all innocent! That first battle all the way back on Halloween you tried to kill my sister. Yes Sari's my sister.

Blackarachnia: I did warn her. She shouldn't have gotten in my way.

Malina: So she could stop you from destroying our city! All that noise for a cure that could've harmed you more than it would've helped you.

Blackarachnia: It would've worked if it hadn't been for certain interruptions. Besides I wasn't waiting on Megatron, I wasn't even aware of his presence.

Malina: If that's the case how come none of the Decepticons ever tried to help you find a cure? Seems to me they only said that to take advantage of you. Before you start to think I'm being heartless no. I'm sorry for what happened to you. Truly I am. If there was any way to reverse it I would try! But if you think I'm going to tolerate one more second of you trying to guilt Optimus you got another thing coming! Either that or Waspinator.

Sentinel: Wapsinator? That traitor that snuck into our ranks?

Malina: The Autobot recruit you threw in the brig to waste away for probably I dunno, hundreds of years all because of flimsy evidence.

Sentinel: How would I know that the accusations were baseless? Bumblebhead told me and I'd trust the word of an Autobot even one as clumsy as he!

Malina: Bumblebee, and he regrets ever accusing Wasp. Bee's been kicking himself in the rotor and wants help the guy he indirectly hurt! That's what makes them so different from you lot. You two always blame Optimus or others for your problems, you hurt others with no remorse, you redirect your self-loathing towards anyone who nothing to do with your pain. We have to heal from our pain so we can be better! Do better! All the while the two of you whine and complain about how horrible the world treats you or how awful you feel about the past or how much of a failure Optimus is when he's the one who had to LEARN from failure. All of us did! You two ungrateful protoforms never learn anything!!!

*Sentinel & BlackArachnia stare in complete silence*

Malina: And you know what hurts the most about all this. Optimus told me the reason he stuck by you after all those years was because he thought that, maybe you'd forgive him and be his friend again. That maybe the two of you would come to terms with what happened and maybe reclaim the friendship that was lost. I was completely on board with that because guess what? He's my friend and friends are supposed to trust each other! So why can't you? Why after all these solar cycles have you refused to put your faith in Optimus after everything he's done?

*Sentinel and Arachnia continue to stare in silence*

Malina: Now I see that it's impossible. I think I speak for a lot of people when I say you richly deserve each other.

*Sentinel and Arachnia still stare in complete shock at the audacity of the "organic's" callout. Malina smiles. She is right.*

[mewtonian-physics]

Hello Penny! How have you been? Alright, I hope. I know it's been awhile, sorry. How is your job and school and professors and all that going?

I don't really have anything to say, I went to the store and got a compliment on my haircut, which was nice, just thought I'd check in with you, since it seems like you maybe haven't been feeling your best, and send a bunch of love your way.

Idk, I just really like you. You're super cool and interesting, and I like seeing you on my dash, you make my day better and I really want you to have a happy and contented life, like you deserve.

Also, have you seen those complications on YouTube of Chuuya screaming? My favorite is when you can hear him screeching in like an airplane before busting through the ceiling (when Daiza is in an attic with a gaint cake, I think?), like EEEEEEEEEEEEYAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!

It always makes me laugh, he's so little and angry.

Anyways, be well - 🌻

hi!!! i've been okay :) classes are going pretty well, i'm REALLY enjoying the one law class i'm taking (stretches out my little hands for more) so in that regard i am just living my very best life. the rest of them are decent but it is hard to beat that one. i've actually started trying to take up poetry on the suggestion of a girl in one of my classes and i think i'm at least not horrible at it lol. i think prose is still more my style but poetry isn't half bad either, especially free verse because fuck rhyme and meter i do what i want.

unfortunately i do not have the job anymore :( it was a temporary position but wow they did not make it clear just how temporary it was going to be. i worked from thursday through to the saturday of the following week (except on sunday) and then that was it. so my contributions to the college tuition are not exactly skyrocketing. i did win a scholarship though, it's small but i take what i can get. why must college be sooooooo expensive the cruel hand of capitalism crushes me

i'm also considering signing up for a little show at my university i kind of want to try comedy... i might be awful at it but it could also be fun, who knows. i haven't made a real decision yet though i'm too anxious about possibly being bad at it lol

oooh hair compliments are some of my favorites. what kind of cut is it :0 would love to hear details.

thank you very much :) your asks always cheer me up, i love hearing from you and i hope you have a happy life too!

YES

CHUUYA NOISES ARE SO FUNNY

he'll just go 'HAH?!' and my day will instantly be improved. like of course he's gonna be yelling and screaming and such when he's literally being taken over by a god of destruction and calamity it's the fact that he keeps doing it all the time that just makes it perfect. and the SCREECHING i know EXACTLY what scene you're thinking of and it's one of my favorite examples. dazai's just sitting there with a whole little party set up complete with absolutely enormous cake (boy did the cake look good) and then just the quiet (at first) scream slowly getting louder and louder and the war between 'yay, chuuya's here' and 'oh god he's gonna come in through the window, goodbye cake' and you can SEE dazai having basically the same reaction i mean he sighs and looks towards the window like 'and i went to all this effort.'

i think the screaming is his internal rock star coming out. i mean he IS voiced by taniyama kishou, it's to be expected. (speaking of which, have you listened to any of his songs outside of the ones he did for bsd? because i've been listening to this one he wrote apparently way before bsd, 'sugar', and there's one part where it DIRECTLY MENTIONS chuuya (the real one) and it cracks me up. irl foreshadowing. plus it's just a catchy song) whole reason i'm weak for aus with chuuya as a singer is because it just already works. he might as well be. in my mind it is nakahara chuuya singing the bungou stray dogs openings. i manifest it.

also let's talk for a second about how i can count on one hand the amount of times chuuya yells about something that is completely unrelated to dazai. those two are a riot.

also also on that subject ranpo was so brave to pull that trick with the book like if he'd gotten even a little bit wrong he would have been so pulverized even yosano couldn't do anything. he would have been dust. this man intentionally pissed off someone who literally has a god of destruction inside of him. really brave... and also really stupid

he IS so little and angry though bsd wan was on point making him a chihuahua bc thats exactly the vibes. tiny loud and ferocious. i love him. one of the best characters in bungou stray dogs and that's just a fact. [claps] where is he asagiri show me the tiny angry man

[alolaluna-moving]

MEET THE MUSE!

Rules: Answer in-character. Repost, don’t reblog.

THE BASICS:

► NAME ➭ ❝ Selene Mizuki Lantana Okalani! Yeah, two moon-related things- that has to do with my birthday! ❞

► ARE YOU SINGLE? ➭  ❝ Yes? ❞ 

► ARE YOU HAPPY? ➭ ❝ Um- ❞ (Queue the "We'll Be Right Back" screen.)

► ARE YOU ANGRY?  ➭ ❝ TAKE A FUCKING GUESS! ❞ 

► ARE YOUR PARENTS STILL MARRIED? ➭ ❝ Nope, and good riddance to my dad! ❞ 

NINE FACTS:

► BIRTH PLACE ➭ ❝ Celadon City! You know, that city in the Kanto region with the gym leader who likes teaching random kids the art of 'flower-arranging?' ❞

► HAIR COLOR ➭ ❝ It's dyed dark purple right now! Some people mistake it for black when the lighting is bad. My natural hair color is light brown! ❞

► EYE COLOR ➭ ❝ My natural E-C is blue, but I always wear purple contacts! Gotta match with my hair, you know! ❞

► BIRTHDAY ➭ ❝ December 21st, the longest night of that year, also known as the Winter Solstice! Get why they named me after two different moon-related things now? ❞

► MOOD ➭ ❝ Given my norm, you caught me in a fairly good mood! ❞ (The Alolan is currently glowering at everyone she sees.)

► GENDER ➭ ❝ I'm a girl! ❞

► SUMMER OR WINTER ➭ ❝ There's absolutely no competition, summer for the win! Winter is horrible. ❞

► MORNING OR AFTERNOON ➭ ❝ Afternoons in Alola are great and all, but there's just something about mornings that makes this region seem so familial and nostalgic. There's nothing like it! ❞

LOVE LIFE:

► ARE YOU IN LOVE? ➭ ❝ None of your business, loser! Leave me alone! ❞

► DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT? ➭ ❝ I feel sorry for any poor, naive soul that does. I don't know how anyone could fall for somebody else just by giving them a glance! Save that trope for those sappy, gross romance movies that Unova and Kalos love putting in their studios, not for the real world! ❞

► WHO ENDED YOUR LAST RELATIONSHIP? ➭ ❝ I did. We were idiots in second grade who just wanted to try what the older kids were doing, so it wasn't that heartbreaking for either of us! That was before I realized that I don't like boys. ❞

► HAVE YOU EVER BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART? ➭ ❝ How would I know that? Stop torturing me with such stupid questions! ❞

► ARE YOU AFRAID OF COMMITMENTS? ➭ ❝ Nope, as long as the person I'm making commitments to is a decent human being! ❞

► HAVE YOU HUGGED SOMEONE WITHIN THE LAST WEEK? ➭ ❝ Hugs are saved for my mom! ❞  

► HAVE YOU EVER HAD A SECRET ADMIRER? ➭ ❝ THEY'RE CALLED SECRET ADMIRERS FOR A REASON YOU MORON! Ahem, sorry. Gotta be civil here, apparently! If you're asking whether I've been sent that sort of stuff anonymously or not, nope. ❞

► HAVE YOU EVER BROKEN YOUR OWN HEART? ➭ ❝ ..No? ❞

CHOICES:

► LOVE OR LUST ➭ ❝ Love! Lust is gross! ❞ 

► LEMONADE OR ICED TEA ➭ ❝ Lemonade! Lemonade! Lemonade- okay, I got carried away. Continue. ❞

► A FEW BEST FRIENDS OR MANY REGULAR FRIENDS ➭ ❝ I have a few best friends, obviously! Hau and Lillie are my closest friends, though. ❞

► WILD NIGHT OUT OR ROMANTIC NIGHT IN ➭ ❝ Definitely a wild night out! Wild nights are always fun! ❞

► DAY OR NIGHT ➭ ❝ Nighttime! It's quieter at nighttime, you're less likely to be bothered- though obviously, there's more people actively at nighttime in Alola than any other region due to our cultures. But it's still a lower chance than in broad daylight! But it's not just that! There's something magical about taking a stroll through the wilderness or Mantine Surfing under the moonlight. It just feels.. right, you know? ❞

HAVE YOU EVER:

► BEEN CAUGHT SNEAKING OUT ➭  ❝ Duh! Eventually I just started sneaking out by climbing on the roof, though. ❞

► FALLEN DOWN/UP THE STAIRS ➭ ❝ You mean to say other people haven't? Oh man, I'm a clutz, aren't I?❞

► WANTED SOMETHING/SOMEONE SO BADLY IT HURT? ➭ ❝ ..Yes to the former, but that's a time I don't want to talk about. ❞

CHOICES PT. 2:

► SMILE OR EYES ➭ ❝ Definitely the eyes, it's much easier to read people through their eyes than through their smile! Anyone can smile, but only sincere people can actually show that they mean it. ❞

► SHORTER OR TALLER ➭ ❝ Taller. So I can intimidate even more people with my height. It's fun, being 6'2"! ❞

► INTELLIGENCE OR ATTRACTION ➭ ❝ Intelligence matters way more than attraction to me. Everybody has a different way of presenting themselves! As long as they don't smell like they haven't showered in four months, we're good! ❞ (Selene has some issues with judging someone for how beautiful or ugly they are. Because, you know, she did see Lusamine do that exact thing to her best friend, deeming her 'ugly' and likewise.)

► HOOK-UP OR RELATIONSHIP ➭ ❝ Relationships. ❞

FAMILY:

► DO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY GET ALONG ➭ ❝ Only really my mom and her side of the family. I never saw eye-to-eye with any relatives on my dad's side, or my brother. ❞

► WOULD YOU SAY YOU HAVE A “MESSED UP LIFE” ➭ ❝ I wouldn't word it as 'messed up,' I would word it as 'chaotic!' ❞

► HAVE YOU EVER RAN AWAY FROM HOME ➭ ❝ Twice. Once in Kanto because I was sick of listening to my family bicker. Then there was the whole ordeal after that incident. ❞

► HAVE YOU EVER GOTTEN KICKED OUT ➭ ❝ Somehow, no! ❞

FRIENDS:

► DO YOU SECRETLY HATE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS ➭ ❝ I'm not afraid of telling people I hate to piss off, so nope, I love all my friends! ❞

► DO YOU CONSIDER ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS GOOD FRIENDS ➭ ❝ Not quite. I use 'good friend' and 'best friend' interchangeably, so I'd technically only have a few 'good friends.' ❞

► WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND ➭ ❝ I don't really have a number one best friend, I don't like picking favorites out of my main circle! My closest human friends are Hau, Lillie, and Gladion, I've been through a lot with them and nothing can replace them in my heart. I'm also quite close with all of the trial captains, though out of that bunch, I'm closest to Acerola. And of course, there's my Pokemon team and Andro! ❞

► WHO KNOWS EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU ➭ ❝ No humans, actually. My main Pokemon team, Andro, and Lunala know everything. ❞ 

Tagged by: @distortsverity (thank you!!)

Tagging: You know the drill- steal it :)

[blueberryrock]

Hey guys, umm here is the twelfth chapter. I had answered an ask today and it made me remember to put this up, I'll hopefully put the rest up this week, but enjoy!

(Blue's pov)

This is taking forever.

I impatiently drum my fingers on my thighs, I've been sitting here in this very uncomfortable chair in the waiting room of the medical wing.

For some reason, it's been unusually packed with a bunch of different cracked gems. This is of course very, very, concerning, but I can't do anything about it until after my stupid appointment.

Which I apparently can't miss for the damn world! I groan and lean my head against the back of the chair. I glance over at an empty chair where Yellow would be.

She is once again off planet, this time, she took White with her to investigate what's or who's been cracking and almost shattering all these gems.

I asked her if I could come with her, cause most of the gems that have been badly damaged are from one of my old colonies and court. But she very quickly shut that down.

I highly suspect that it is the work of a somewhat large rebellion that's been going on, but if I try to talk to any of the cracked gems, they either have no memory of what happened or they just poof themselves over and over again from the sheer memory of what happened to them.

So the only information we've gotten is that it's been happening on one of my colonies. I nervously run my hand through my brushed, soft, hair.

I let out a soft gasp as one of the little gemlings kick me, I look down at my baby bump, I smirk as I lightly make circles on it with my nail.

"You're impatient too, aren't you" I coo "hopefully just a few more minutes, then I get to see your colors" I look up at the clock behind the little receptions desk "and I should ask the medical pearl if we can take any pictures..." I mutter to myself.

Finally, a few more minutes go by and the medical pearl calls me to a different room.

The new room has dark blue walls, grey tiled floors, and one big metal table and no waiting chairs, it also has the scanner, waiting to be used.

I carefully push myself onto the cold table and lie down, I groan as soon as my stiff back hits the table. The small green medical pearl climbs onto the table, I effortlessly phase away part of my dress so my baby belly can be scanned.

The small pearl tucks away a strand of her green hair behind her ear as she climbs onto me. She empties an entire bottle of freezing cold gel and tosses the bottle on the ground.

The little gem hops off of me and runs to grab the scanner. "Hey, umm I have a question" I softly shift on the table.

"Hmm?" The medical pearl replies as she tries to untangle the wire.

"Don't you need to angle the screen or something? So you know, I can see the gemlings?" I ask.

"What? Oh yes" the pearl's soft voice floats through the almost empty room. She grabs the side of the scanner and turns it towards me "is that better?"

I simply nod. The medical pearl finally untangles the scanner wires and climbs back onto me. She spreads the gel around with her hand before she uses the scanner.

I shiver from the still very cold gel, the screen part starts to make a noise so my eyes instantly snap towards the screen.

To my amazement, both gemlimgs are surprisingly large, since the screen is almost black and white, I can barely see a hint of color on both of them. The larger of the two is a very light shade of blue with a hint of green, and the smaller one is a dark shade of green with splotches of very light green.

I slightly frown when I look at the second gemling. She...she shouldn't be two different colors. Puzzled, I stare at the small pearl, looking for answers.

She shakily meets my eyes, "I-I'm sorry Blue Diamond, I've never seen this happen before" she tucks a few strands of her mossy green hair behind her ear "I'm going a-assuming that, when your two gemlimgs combined, their colors merged?"

"I'm not too sure, but congratulations, you still have fairly healthy gemlings, and you know what colors they are so planning their room shouldn't be a problem," and with that done, the small medical pearl quickly leaves the room before I can even get a word out.

I scoff, what an unprofessional pearl. I push myself up and immediately phase the rest of my dress on. Unfortunately, there is nothing I can do about her.

I gently and slowly slide off the metal table, once-off I immediately head for the door. I wrap the veil that I brought with me tightly around me. I waste no time walking to my room, not even bothering to say hello to anyone.

As soon as those big doors behind me close, I unwrap the dark blue veil and throw it on the carpet. I quickly summon a floating blue screen and I hurriedly send Yellow and White a message about the gemlings and what little the pearl said.

I smack my head with my hand, I completely forgot to ask the pearl is it is possible to send some pictures to Yellow and White. Oh well...

As soon as that's done, I lightly toss myself onto my very soft bed. I bury myself under the velvety blue sheets, I sigh and close my eyes.

"Next week will be somewhat exciting, cause next week Yellow will finally let us go off-planet alone!" I exclaim to no one but myself and the gemlings.

I trace large circles on my baby belly, they become smaller and slower as I unexpectedly fall asleep.

(The next week)

I let out a bored sigh as I scroll through what seems like endless reports, more than half of them are bull-shit excuses for "reports", telling me that I'm "sooo" lucky that I'm having gemlings. Usually, Blue Pearl and a few other gems help manage the reports that come flooding in, but a lot of congratulations still manage to pass through...

But nevertheless, I must read most of them, and I suspect that Blue Pearl and the other gems allow so many of the stupid "reports" as a means to cheer me up.  But I don't need a constant reminder that I have a due date (or a death date as I once called it).

"Pearl, Pyrobes," they boredly glance at me "You all are dismissed. Feel free to take the rotation off" I dismiss them, they nod and quietly leave me alone with my thoughts.

I glumly look out the window to my left, and for miles upon miles all I see are beautiful blue trees with gold leaves with blooming purple flowers.

I look back at my screen and ignore all the reports, I decide to pull up a very old report about this planet.

Planetoid name: Planet 2064 (aka The Oasis)

Location: Around one thousand light-years away from homeworld

Abandoned: Yes

Reason for abandonment (skip over if it was successful): no more materials, to many organics, and large mountains will randomly produce a green liquid that can melt anything

Water coverage: 22% water 78% land

Organics (skip over if none have been found): a lot of organic plants, and a lot of unintelligent flying organics that can breathe water

Diamond ownership: Blue Diamond

How many moons: Three, one with organic plants, and two are mainly just water

Most materials: Silicon, iron, copper, and other minerals. Used to be good for making lapis lazulis and possibly sapphires

Notes: My diamond, the peridots have said that we are running low on materials and the huge mountains that are scattered across the land are filled to the brim with a slimy green liquid that can melt anything, even gems! (But somehow the organics that walk or fly this planet seem to be immune to the liquid so, I and a few others have managed to capture a few to study). So, we have left this planet and await your orders.

-Calcite cut 9l3

I get a random urge to quickly dismiss the screen and get up from my throne, I slam my hand on the panel that opens the doors in front of me. I am greeted by three flights of stairs. I shuffle carefully down the stairs, trying not to slip on my good dress or anything else.

Once i'm on the ground floor I spot Pearl sitting in a chair sketching. "Pearl" I call her name, she slowly looks up at me "I'm going out for a short walk, message me if there are any real emergencies" she silently nods as I open the blue doors in front of me.

I haven't even taken a step outside and I'm already drenched in sweat from how humid the dense jungle is. I let out a slight groan as I put my long light blue hair into a ponytail.

I shift my dress to make it looser then before and I end it just below my knees. I finally start my walk into the muggy jungle, I cautiously make sure that I don't step on any little organics that might be around and so I don't trip on any of the roots of the blue trees.

I could very easily walk around the entire moon in about a few cycles, the moon itself is rather small but with it's very dense (but pretty) jungles, it'd probably take me about a rotation to actually do it. I continue to go deeper and deeper into the jungle, I stop when I come across a small river.

I carefully maneuver my way onto the river bed. The water is an unusually dark shade of blue with very reflective rocks at the bottom.

I stay there for a few minutes until a twig snaps behind me, I whip my head around to where the noise came from. I quickly scramble I onto my feet, my hand hovers over my gem, itching to summon my weapon.

A few seconds go by as anxiety seeps into me, this time the noise of some foliage being moved makes me quickly summon my weapon and turn my entire body towards the second noise.

"Hello?" I nervously call out. I get into a defensive position with my long, blue, scythe. This time it only has one deadly sharp watery blade, but at the end of the long handle is a short little knife.

No one answers, so I lower my defensive position but not my guard. The jungle gets eerily quiet, but the running water seems to be drowning out any other noises.

I slowly turn to face the creek, my nerves are still going crazy, screaming at me that I should run away or do something that isn't just standing there.

And then it all happens very quickly, the second my eyes move down to the small stream a gem lunges at me, but I easily slice it in half.

As soon as it poofs more gems come out of the surrounding trees and bushes. Most I recognize as old quartzes and agates that used to serve me and the other diamonds, they quickly surround me but I slice through a line of them. But more seem to pour out of the forest.

I sigh, as I know that this isn't going to go well for any of us.

"What do you want from me?"  I cry. Many of them pull out their weapons, most have swords or whips, while the ones in the far back have bows.

"Isn't it obvious?" A fairly large four-armed gem steps out from the crowd. She has three eyes, one black and two blue. Her long curly, black and baby blue, hair stops right at her waist.

On her chest is a gem that resembles a sapphire, but the colors are all wrong. Instead of the gorgeous blue it would probably be, it has stripes of black in it. And on her left forearm is another gen, but it resembles a black jasper with stripes of blue in it. And her outfit is a mixture of the old quartz uniforms with a blue diamond on it and a mixture of the sapphire's dress, giving them a short striped skirt.

"N-no. Not really" I try to mask my ever-growing fear.

"Well, then, allow me to explain" the Jasper and Sapphire fusion draws her own weapon, which probably hasn't changed besides the color. Out of the jasper's gem, they pull out a long spikey whip.

"Me and my, heh, friends here" she gestures to the other gems that surrounds me "have decided to riot, or better yet! We've decided to start our own little rebellion!"

"Although it's not very small" she adds as she scratches her chin.

I can feel sweat beads roll down my face, also my gut feels like it's about to send up my breakfast. I take a deep breath in, trying to calm my nerves, but the fusion seemed to notice.

She laughs an evil, wicked, and empty laugh. "Are you, the great, all-powerful, lustrous, Blue Diamond scared?" The fusion smirks "I hope you understand that I'm not going to hurt you" she pauses, then smiles again "well, let me backtrack on that, I'm not going to poof you"

I grip my scythe even tighter then before, waiting for someone to move. "You know I can slice through all of you, like cake" I grit through my teeth

"I'm not sure what cake is, but I seriously doubt that. You see, while you may be bigger then us and faster, I do have numbers on my side, and future vision."

"I know for a fact that the future is never set in stone" I growl.

She laughs again, "you may be right my dear, buuut, I do see many, many, many, possibilities where you come with us" she gives me an unnerving smile "most of them you are unconscious."

And it is at that moment where I snap and swing my sharp blade at her, but she ducks and the deadly blade only grazes her head.

"Attack" she grins evilly.

Almost all of the archers that surround me release their arrows, most of them whistle past me while a few get stuck in my hair.

The first of many waves of gems come rushing towards me, I slice through them with ease. But it isn't until the second wave of small arrows are released that I realize I'm possibly fucked.

Once again, most of the arrows manage to miss me, which I smirk at, but a few have actually managed to dig into my arms, neck, and back.

I let out a slight whimper as the gemlimgs painfully move inside me. But I stupidly work through the pain, cutting down more and more of the small fusion's forces.

I take a split second break to look at their face. But I frown as I see her smiling smugly like she has won the battle. Which, I fear she has.

I spend at least five more minutes, barely poofing any more of the fusion's soldiers. I, unfortunately, can feel myself losing energy quickly, my muscles start to burn, the pain in my belly is starting to flare up more, and I can see myself get more sluggish by the second.

As soon as I cut through the last of the archers, I hear the fusion curse to herself. I smirk as I quickly get the upper hand, I've definitely cut through more than three-fourths of her troops.

"You—don't need to—do this," I say between breaths.

"Yes, I do, you don't understand. I have a very flawless plan" she runs a stripped hand through her hair.

"Would you care to tell?" I ask.

She laughs a very, very, empty laugh "Ah, my diamond, you're very funny. I unfortunately have to say no to that request."

Out of nowhere, pain wracks through my entire system. I fall hard onto my knees and I painfully clutch onto my baby belly.

"Ah-ha!" The fusion points at me "Didn't I tell you! I knew she would be beaten" the fusion happily talks to herself.

She shakes away her joy and walks up to my face, "aaand, didn't Yellow Diamond warn you about the dangers of stressing yourself out too much?" The gem taunts.

"F-fuck—y-you" I barely say through the pain. Exhaustion seeps quietly into me, over masked by all the pain I feel.

"Don't worry you're pretty little head, I told you I'm not going to poof you. Although I would've liked to do that, but you're much, much more valuable to me in this state" the fusion uses two of her four arms to summon something.

The sound of an engine turning on catches my attention. My tired eyes slide upwards, and something very big and shiny appears in my line of sight.

"I-is that a ship?" I weakly ask "where did you get that?" I whisper the last part to myself.

"Good job! Ten points to you" the gem summons a large black bubble around us.

"Where—where are you taking me?" I tiredly ask.

"Hmm, a cell" the fusion chirps "if you'd like a more specific answer, far away...away from this place...in space!"

I close my eyes for a second and when I open them I'm in a large room, with no windows, and the only exit large a large electric wall that will definitely hurt if I touch it.

I move onto my stiff back, I stare up at the metal ceiling....This is going to be a longer journey than expected..

Dammit...