#still feels like i'm tying them off wrong but i've gotten better at it maybe?

[shapeshiftinterest]

original idea, no purple, too small

all granny squares, decided to add purple to make it bigger

2nd idea laid out

joined granny squares (front)

joined granny squares (back)

finished and bordered (front)

finished and bordered (back)

colors: ivory, light rose, cosmetic pink, eggplant

finally finished my first actual crocheted blanket! took forever cuz i was procrastinating on the border but i started it in near the end of december 2022 and finished the squares and joining them in january 2023

took a procrastination break for a while, got more yarn, learned how to make 2 different scarf patterns

my only regret was not knowing there was machine washable and dryable yarn

also not knowing why the yarns for this one are different despite being the same size (4)??

like, some of them (specifically the white) are thinner and some are thicker, i can feel the difference, not sure what that’s about

flashback to the first full thing i made as practice

learned from THIS video for joining the squares

[s7arcr0sser]

I have to get this off my chest because I've seen these two get misunderstood a lot already, and with the little attention the pairing is given, maybe it's time to contribute some. If you're willing to read this please just keep an open mind, i understand that Buzz and Ozma aren't the fandom's favorite pairing especially because of the appeal some other non canon ships have (even i see it - i don't blame anyone for it) but it really makes me sad when bias influences people's ability to enjoy things outside of their main interest.

***i should also emphasize that this is just how i interpret it - the beauty of art is that it's subjective***

It always tics me off whenever someone says that Buzz is arrogant or anything of the type. The creators of the show describe his character as "...his biggest flaw is that he believes in his own legend." He's confident. He's overconfident even, which isn't without reason considering he has nearly 100% success rate. It's easy to confuse the two but the difference is in that, he does not belittle anyone and doesn't feel threatened by someone being as good as him or even better. There are times when he has joked at other people's expense (notably - Opposites attract, Speed trap and Plasma monster) but here's the catch - he always learns and by the end makes up for it. It's because he's not the stoic emotionless type of hero, he has personality and sometimes says things he doesn't fully think through. His whole team, Buzz included, loves throwing jabs at each other all the time, their goal never is to genuinely offend.

That leads to my next point. He always means well. Again, he never belittles ON PURPOSE. It's more or less confirmed he's introverted - before Team Lightyear, he worked alone and still loves spending time on his own. That means he likely spent most of his time around Warp and not much of anyone else, his communication skills aren't great because he focuses on his job too much and hasn't spent much time developing them. Sometimes he misses social cues and misunderstands situations or how people feel. He wasn't a jerk to Ty on purpose, everyone is constantly outdoing each other in praising his achievements so he had no idea it annoys Ty to pieces. The moment Buzz found out how he truthly feels he did everything he could to make up for it.

It's a recurring theme that Buzz isn't crazy about wildlife, it's not just his interactions with Ozma but the whole episode Dirty work is about that very topic. He's stubborn and because that's so far removed from his usual line of work he tries everything he can to use his old methods rather than to try something newer. Little by little he gives into it once he starts to allow himself to understand.

That character only cares about their working field, is willing to completely disregard anything that's outside of it, no matter how that may seem unethical to everyone else, and because they haven't gotten enough perspective from the other side they don't see why that's wrong, but is slowly learning throughout the show and could have gotten more development if the show continued.

I'm talking about Ozma this time. See how that can apply to both of them? Ozma is just as wrong as Buzz and they both can get across as irrational, but they actually are trying to protect what they believe in. Buzz doesn't care about nature and Ozma doesn't care about people - directly opposing fields, they are fighting for what the other would sacrifice. That's why their clash is so interesting, they have EVERYTHING in common, with just one difference that's so detrimental that it completely overwhelms their relationship.

Just like how Buzz is misunderstood to be arrogant, Ozma is misunderstood to be cold. She so isn't in the slightest. She treats the ugliest, most dangerous and scariest beast with utmost care and admiration, she gets excited at the sight of a rare specimen even if it could bite her head off in a second, and would risk her safety just to study or help it.

It's people where her enthusiasm dissolves, she is presented as introverted as well which is why sometimes she says things that don't come across all that great. Sure, sometimes she doesn't care because she's not interested in socializing, but she sometimes just doesn't know (example - the bloody water and floating guts comment in Beasts for Karn).

I gotta admit, it also confuses me how Buzz could come off as misogynistic towards Ozma - dammit that guy went in and memorized the most boring stuff in the universe (in his opinion) just to go in and try to impress her. He respects her work greatly - it's just in a field he's never cared for until now. Ozma could've been a male character and it would've been the same thing, because it's not Ozma herself that Buzz doesn't understand, but it's her cause.

He frankly just doesn't know how to act towards people he's interested in or that are interested in him. That's why he gives her unwanted validation - he's just genuinely impressed with her, which is why he's interested in the first place, but has no idea how to express it. He doesn't think any less of her.

Ozma was willing to team up with Zurg to protect the millennial bugs, Buzz was willing to kill Karnian beasts to get back on track with his mission. Both are just as bad, we gotta admit that. But throughout the three episodes we see them together, we see them learn to make more and more compromises for each other. They learn to see the other's perspective, and in their last chronological episode Return to Karn, they barely have fights at all (sure, there's a bit of banter, but it's nowhere near as agressive as it was before). I would kill to see how it would have progressed further.

She just reminds him of himself too much. Remember Good Ol' Buzz? He could barely stand himself because of how stubborn, abrupt and close minded he can be. It's the same thing with Ozma! She has the same traits, and so does he, and it turns into a screaming match until it turns into something else. Because that's just how they are.

So how the hell could this ever work for them? Simple - they are the only ones that could understand each other. With any other partner it would be "you chose your career over me!". If Buzz wasn't an awkward mess he could pull anyone he wants - he wants Ozma because she doesn't care who he is. Because she's brilliant, assertive, a badass and fearless. Because he has to prove himself and it doesn't come easy for him. If she doesn't care for his reputation, why is she interested? For the same reasons - he's just an awesome and determined person. He doesn't give up and believes in everything that is good, to the point of naivete. Because if anyone can give you hope in humanity's goodness, it's him.

And as much as I want to add the darker layer that Ozma might also be subconsciously reminding Buzz of Zurg but from a safe distance, that's a bit too much of a biased interpretation, and we might not be ready for that talk yet.

If you've read all of this, you're crazy, and thank you for coming to my ted talk

[waka-nii]

the horny bitch in me decided it was time for some hajime-nii // 2,7k words

cw: nsfw - fem!reader, incest, dubcon, manipulation, oral (male receiving), prostitution.

"Why am I doing this?" You muttered to yourself, hearing the sound of the shower in the room of the fanciest hotel you've ever been to. You're sitting on the king size bed, waiting for the man in the bathroom to join you. Who was it again? "Just an old associate" your brother told you when asking for this favor. You were to "seduce him, lure him to room 204 and have sex with him" easy, right? Your dear brother would take care of the rest. Apparently, they needed some shade on him and his wife was a wealthy woman who prided herself on the beautiful marriage they had, so what better than blackmailing him with footage of his affair with a much younger and prettier woman? Kokonoi Hajime always has his eyes on the money, and this was a big jackpot at the low price of whoring his sister to a perverted old man.

"You'll do this for me, right? You know how Sanzu does things. I don't want this bastard dead until I squeeze all his money out." he told you, cupping your face lovingly. "You're the only one I can trust with this. You'll get your part, I promise."

Now you wish Sanzu had gotten word of this first. How are you going to do this? This man does not attract you in the slightest. He's old, saggy and you're not sure if his teeth are even real. At least you managed to convince him to take a shower first.

"Are you ready, princess?" you cringe at the nickname.

"Of course, sir. I've been waiting." Please God make this quick "You can use my body as you please"

"Come here, let me see you" The man says, motioning for you to come closer. You do as he says, laying on top of his almost bare body. You can feel how hard he is already, grabbing your ass as soon as he can reach. He looks at you and points to his lower parts. You take the hint and bring yourself lower to take off his underwear. Your face just inches from his member, you close your eyes and hope you can get through this. Giving this old man head was never in your plans, but you'd do anything to help Hajime-nii. Ah, Hajime-nii. His face pops up in your mind, his soft lips, his beautiful slanted eyes that always look at you with such tenderness. Prompted by his image, your mouth starts working eagerly on the man's cock. Not wanting to open your eyes and ruin the fantasy, you keep sucking breathlessly. You don't know if you're trying to make the man finish as soon as possible or the image of Hajime-nii in your head is making you start to enjoy this. Just as you start to think about it, the man aggresively grabs your head, pushing you down on his cock and cumming down your throat. Thank God that's over.

"Good girl, you did great." He says, smiling at you. Ugh, you never thought you'd be disgusted hearing those words. They sounded so good out of Hajime-nii's mouth, yet here you were, grossed out by the sound of them.

"Take off your clothes, sweetheart" Please stop with the nicknames. "Get on top of me" You do as he says, taking off the tight dress you wore, of course, courtesy of your dear older brother. Sighing, you lower yourself on him. You wait for a second, expecting him to do something, but he just looks at you expectantly.

"Fuck yourself on my cock, doll." Fuck, no. Not even a finger? Now you've done it. You see, you didn't tell anyone you were still a virgin. Not the man, not Hajime-nii. You were afraid you'd disappoint your brother, so you kept it to yourself. Taking some old dude shouldn't hurt too much, right?

"What are you waiting for?" You gulp and take a deep breath before finally positioning yourself and taking him all at once. You thought rushing it would make it more bearable, but now you're regretting it, tears forming in your eyes from the pain. The man groans and says something about you being untouched. To be honest, you're too focused on the pain to even hear what he says. Taking another deep breath, you start moving, grinding yourself on the man's member. The next few minutes are a blur. The pain, the suffering and the embarrassment of the situation make it hard to concentrate on anything.

"Damn, that was good. Guess I'll have to pay extra for being your first." The man says, winking at you. His voice brings you back to reality and you realize you're laying on the bed, make up ruined by the tears and completely exposed to the man that just took your virginity. He's already getting dressed again, nonchalantly tying his tie and grabbing his things, leaving a stack of bills on the nightstand before walking through the door without saying a word. Your hand immediately reaches for your phone, shaky hands scrolling through your contacts.

Hajime-nii 💞

Call.

Koko picks up at the second tone. His voice always manages to calm you down.

"What's up?" he says "Is it done?" You make an effort of holding back your tears.

"Yeah. Can you pick me up?" You say.

"Got it. I'll be there in 20. Order yourself some nice champagne, you deserve it." With that, he hangs up. You put down your phone and make your way to the bathroom. Normally you'd be so excited, filling the hot tub and getting in while you call room service and order the most expensive item on the menu, but now all you could do was look at your tired face in the mirror. You wash your face and take some deep breaths. Your brother can't see you like this. You decide you should take a short shower before he arrives, so you turn on the water and get in.

The water hits your skin with a force you didn't think was possible. Every part of your body hurts, and you can't stop the tears anymore. You let yourself cry under the hot water for a good five minutes before washing your body. You scrub with force, trying to get the memories off your skin but no matter how many times you soap and rinse, you can't get the feeling off. You feel dirty, and you can't do anything to clean that. Just as your thoughts start to consume you, you hear a knock on the door.

"Y/n? You there?" Hajime's voice coming from the other side is a much needed relief. You open the door, still wrapped in the hotel's white towel.

"You're still like that? Come on, put something on, we have to go." You nod as you disappear to the bathroom to put on your dress.

"Ready?" Koko says, sitting on the same bed you lost your innocence on.

"Yeah, let's go." You say while bolting out the door, saying goodbye forever to that damn room.

The ride home was silent. Koko drove as you quietly looked out the window. He must've sensed something was wrong, because he drove directly to his house, not stopping to drop you at yours. You silently thank him for this but decide not to comment on it, and neither does he. When you arrive, he opens the door and lets you in.

"Go to sleep, you must be tired." You nod and head to the guest room. Well, it wasn't really a guest room since you were the only one who stayed there. It was full of your things, it felt just like home. Maybe even more. You lay on your bed, not bothering to get in the sheets. In the dark of the night and the comfort of your room, you let the tears that were forming in your eyes out at last. How did you let things get like this? This was your fault, wasn't it? This is the only thing you were good at. You followed orders just to make everyone happy and waited for the much desired praise. Pathetic. Your thoughts quickly spiraled to a dark place and you started to feel out of breath. You sobbed, hiding your face in the pillow and gripping the sheets with force.

"Y/n..." you hear your name coming from the door. When you lift your head, Hajime is already sitting by your side. "What's wrong? Talk to me."

"Hajime-nii..." You can't even look at him in the eyes. Koko cups your face in his hands, making you look at him.

"You should've told me you didn't want to do it." He says, anguish evident in his eyes.

"I wanted to. I wanted to be useful to you. I wanted to be something good in your life." You say through the tears.

"Baby, you're the best thing in my life. You're my perfect little sister and it will always be like that." Hajime hugs you, resting your head on his chest. With his gaze no longer on you, he notices a red stain on the sheets. His heart stops for a second, realizing what had you so upset.

"Hey, baby, look at me." He takes your face in his hands once again. "Was this your first time?" You nod.

"Y/n, you should've told me. I would've never let that fucking bastard take your virginity." His heartbeat gets increasingly faster. "Why didn't you say anything!?" He raises his tone and you wince in reflex.

"I'm sorry..." You say lowering your head.

"Shh, hey, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, okay? I'm here now." His voice softens once again. "Does it hurt?" You nod and lay your head on his shoulder.

"Tell me where it hurts." Hajime kisses your temple. "Tell nii-san where he hurt you." He takes your hand in his and looks at you. You guide his hand to your chest and lay it on your breasts, the thin fabric of the old t-shirt he gave you being the only thing keeping his skin from touching yours.

"Did he hurt you here? Grabbed you too hard?" You nod, feeling his hypnotizing gaze on you. Koko lays you down softly on the silk sheets he got for you. He hovers over you and lifts your shirt slowly, allowing you time to stop him if you wish, but you let him continue. Bringing his lips to your waist, he kisses your stomach as he continues to push your shirt over your breasts. He leaves a trail of kisses going up your bust and takes your nipple into his mouth, softly running his tongue through your bud. Leaving some more kisses in the area, he looks up at you.

"Better?" You nod. "Does it hurt anywhere else?" You nod once again. "Show me." You take your brother's hand in yours and guide it to your lower area. Where a few hours ago you only felt a sharp pain now there is a heat growing with every touch.

"My baby... I shouldn't have let someone else take your virginity. I should've been your first." Rubbing your heat through your panties, Hajime kisses your lips softly. "You're too pure for this world. I'm not letting that happen again, okay? I promise." You nod, trying to focus on his words, but his touch is getting more and more satisfying. Your brother knows what he's doing to you. He knows how good he's making you feel, and he's not going to let anyone else see you like this ever again. Hajime removes your underwear and brings his hand to your mouth. You lick his fingers, getting impatient. He brings his hand to your cunt once again and spreads your folds. The sensation of his fingers massaging your clit feels so good you're almost forgetting your earlier experience. His movements are slow and sensual, treating you like the most delicate being. Your moans and whines are like music to his ears. His sweet little sister falling apart from his touch, there was nothing compared to that. He presses soft kisses to your temple as he inserts a finger in your cunt, making your moans get louder and louder.

"Shh, it's okay baby." He breathes against your ear. "Nii-san's gonna erase every trace of that man on your body." Those words combined with his touch make you fall over the edge, feeling the knot on your lower stomach come undone on his fingers.

"That's it, baby, you're doing so good." His words are so similar to the man's earlier yet they have a completely different effect on you. "You wanna make nii-san feel good too?"

"Y-yeah... I wanna make nii-san feel good." You say looking up at him, mesmerized by how good he looked right now. His long hair was sticking to his forehead, where small beads of sweat were forming. You can't recall when exactly he took off his shirt, exposing his svelte chest. He looked ethereal right now. You couldn't wrap your head around the fact that you're in the same situation as this evening, yet it feels so perfect now. Koko places himself between your legs, looking at you with a smile on his face.

"It won't hurt this time, I promise." he says as he lines up his cock with your entrance. "Tell me if you want to stop, okay?" You nod and he pushes himself slowly into you. You let out a squeak at the feeling and he chuckles at your reaction.

"You feel so good around nii-san's cock." Hajime says as he sinks the rest of his length into you. "God, how did we not do this earlier?" He moans in your ear, the sound of his voice making you clench around him.

"Is it alright if I move now?" You hear the impatience in his voice. Nodding, you lift your hand to his cheek. He smiles at the gesture and kisses your palm as he carefully thrusts his hips into you. You can't do anything but moan and quiver below him, too dazed to form a thought in your head.

"You're doing so good baby- Fuck... fuck, you feel so good." Koko rests his forehead against yours before kissing your lips. He swallows all your sounds, exploring your mouth with his tongue. He moans against your lips, moving his hips faster.

"Nii-san... Gonna cum..." You breathe out, feeling that familiar heat once again.

"That's good, baby. Come on, cum for me. Cum for nii-san." His thrusts get harder and deeper, making you cum for a second time tonight. Your cunt tightens around him as you climax, making him reach his own.

"Ah, fuck..." Hajime pulls out of you and with some strokes of his hand releases all over your stomach. He catches his breath for a second, admiring the masterpiece before his eyes. His sweet baby sister was now marked by him, and he'd never let anyone else touch you now that he's had a taste of you.

"Are you okay?" He asks. You nod, too tired to move your limbs. "I'm gonna get something to wipe that off, yeah? Koko walks to the closet and grabs a towel, then wets it a bit in the sink of your en-suite bathroom. He cleans his cum off your body. He thinks it looks so good on you, but right now you're looking so drained from the crazy day you had. Well, he can always do that again. Maybe take some pictures for his own enjoyment, too.

"Hajime-nii, this... This isn't normal." You say. What you just did definitely wasn't normal, yet it felt so good. "It's wrong."

"Wrong?" He lays down beside you. "Tell me something, baby, did it feel good?"

"Yeah, it felt good..." you say as you let him take you into his arms.

"Then there's nothing wrong with it. Nothing could possibly be wrong if it makes my sweet little sister feel good." His words make you blush. "Look at me baby" he holds your chin directing your gaze at his. "I took your first time, okay? I was your first. Not that man, not anyone else. It was me. Understand?" You nod.

"You took my first time, nii-san." He smiles at you, patting your head.

"That's my girl. Now go to sleep, you're really tired." Hajime lays your head on the pillow.

"Don't leave" You say.

"I'm not going anywhere, babygirl. Now sleep, I'll be right here when you wake up." Your brother lays by your side, putting his arm around you to run his hand trough your hair. "Sweet dreams."

[managedmischiefs]

overworked//tom holland

As soon as I saw the paparazzi pictures, I knew something was wrong.

Tom is always the happiest guy alive. He's so grateful for all he has in life, and he's grateful for fans.

But he's human. He gets tired. He gets angry, frustrated, annoyed. The fans seem to forget that. But the fans aren't the only ones to blame.

Tom has been hard at work on Spider-Man: Far From Home, his first lead role in a movie. He's the hardest worker I've ever met. But one of his fatal flaws is that he doesn't know when it's time to work, and when it's time to play.

I decided to join him and Harrison in Atlanta for filming this time around. I saw him work himself to exhaustion on Homecoming, and I wanted to prevent that as best as possible. However, this decision backfired.

My mum wound up getting seriously injured back home in London, so I had to leave Atlanta after just two weeks to help out my family. Tom was incredibly supportive of this decision, sending his love to me and my family.

But since I went home, that meant I couldn't be there to look after Tom. Sure, Harrison is there, and his cast loves him beyond belief, but Tom has told me that he's opened up to me in ways that he's never done with anyone else.

I talk to him every day. The time difference sucks, but we make it work. We text, call, FaceTime, anything we can do to stay in touch.

But, then the Spider-Man cast had to travel to LA. The paparazzi pictures spread like wildfire. Tom looks absolutely exhausted, barely even cracking a smile as he signs things for fans. I can see the exhaustion in his eyes.

I called him as soon as I knew he'd be available, and he claimed he was fine. He's very hard to get to open up, so I let it go.

Tom is finally coming home. He's been gone for almost three months. Our house is so empty without him, and honestly, Tessa doesn't like me as much as she loves Tom.

I clean the whole house the night before his plane lands, immensely excited to see him. Tessa is going crazy. I think she somehow gets my Tom vibe.

I dress myself in simple jeans and a sweatshirt to go to the airport, tying my hair into a top knot. I promise Tessa I'll be back soon with her dad, grabbing my keys and leaving.

I text Tom and Harrison to let them know where I am, leaning against the wall as I get a smiling emoji back from my boyfriend.

I see the crowd of fans before I actually see the boys. There's flashing lights- maybe a few paps- and lots of girls (and guys) screaming and screeching.

I sigh, standing up straighter and pulling a pair of Tom's sunglasses out of my pocket. I know he always seems to forget them, but always seem to need them.

His hood is pulled up over his head, a clear way of trying to hide himself. However, it clearly didn't work.

Tom gives a fake smile to some girl as she shoves a sharpie in his face, holding out a Spider-Man poster. Harrison is giving me a wary look, but knows to stick by Tom's side.

After a few minutes, Tom has pushed his way through the fans. He makes a bee line for me, and from the distance, I can already see his bottom lip quivering and his eyes a bit red.

I give him a small smile as he drops his bag on the floor, to which Harrison immediately picks it up.

Tom's body hits mine relatively hard, his arms wrapping around my waist. My arms go around his neck, blocking his face from any prying eyes.

I immediately feel Tom's body start to shake, and hear a few sniffles. I sigh, running my fingers through his hair.

"I know, I know." I coo, giving Harrison a smile over Tom's shoulder. "It's okay. I'm here now. You're okay."

Tom nods against my shoulder, sniffling again. "Sorry."

"Don't apologize, no." I protest, tugging on the ends of his hair a bit. "Why don't we get home, okay? I brought some sunnies for you, we can drop Harrison off, and we can go home and cuddle with Tess, and watch a movie, how does that sound?"

Tom nods again, taking a long breath before lifting his head. I quickly cover his eyes with the tinted glasses, protecting him from any crazy rumors as to why he's crying in an airport.

I give a quick hug to Harrison as Tom picks up his bag again. I lead the two boys to my car, luggage in the boot, Tom in the front and Harrison in the back.

Tom leans his head against the window, eyes closed. I keep the music very low, knowing my boyfriend is sensitive right now and I want him to stay calm so he doesn't blow up.

I drop Harrison off at his apartment, giving a gentle smile. The drive back to our house is silent. Tom had turned off the music.

Tom's eyes droop as he pushes himself out of the car and to the boot, hoping to grab his suitcase. "I got it." I promise, pushing on his side gently. "Go in, say hi to Tess. Lay on the couch."

Tom nods without any protest, tossing his backpack over his shoulder and dragging himself into the house.

I lug his case into the entryway, letting it fall beside his backpack. I find Tom on the couch with Tessa, the dog curled up in his curled legs with her head on his thigh.

Tom looks up and smiles softly as I come and sit beside him. He immediately moves to rest his head on my shoulder.

"Now will you talk to me?" I whisper, tangling my hand in his curls. "What's wrong?"

Tom sighs, his face buried in my neck. "It's just so much work. So much. I never get a break." His voice starts to crack. "I can't do it."

I nod, holding him as close as I can possible bare. "I know it's hard, baby, I know."

"Everyone expects so much from me. I can only give so much." Tom has this habit. Once he starts talking, it's very hard for him to stop. "I do everything I can and it's not good enough!"

"You can't please every, Tommy. You please the people who are important to you." He lifts his head from my neck, looking at me with big, bloodshot brown eyes. I let my fingertips graze over his jawline, smiling softly. "You can please yourself, you can please me." Tom smiles just a little bit. "That's all you can do. A lot of people expect a lot, we know that. But you need to stay sane. And with that, comes taking care of yourself. Or letting me take care of you-"

"Because you love doing that so much." Tom responds sarcastically.

"I do love taking care of you." I rub my nose against his, eliciting a small laugh from Tom. "How long are you home for?"

"A week." Tom sighs, pulling away from me completely, standing from the couch.

I follow after him, allowing him to lead me towards the stairs. I catch Tom once he's gotten up a few, wrapping my arms around his waist.

"Then you have seven days at home, right?" I whisper. "You have seven days to do whatever you want, whoever you want."

Tom turns around in my embrace, his eyebrows raised. "Are you really going to make me feel better through sex?"

"Worth a shot." I shrug, which makes him laugh again. "But really, you have seven days- a week- to sit at home and relax, or go out with your friends, or see your family-"

"Or have sex with you." Tom mocks, smirking. "Thank you, though. You always know how to make me feel better."

"I try my best." I shrug casually, smiling.

"Now if you're still up for that sex?"