#still dont know if im being matter of factly about that or diminishing my own accomplishments to soften the blow if/when i eventually crash | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

chainestiche · 4 months ago

Text

excited to go back to college, scared to challenge this narrative ive built for myself over the past couple of years of profound aversion towards academia steming from my own feelings of inadequacy over not being able to perform as well as my non-adhd/neurodivergent peers

so much for "choosing to forfeit formal education" just to go back to the hamsters wheel in desperate pursuit of anything resembling forced structure in my life as a fully grown adult person human being when it becomes apparent i cannot just will myself into it

anyways im actually excited! just hate how easy it is to call my own bullshit when presented with something i actually want but im profoundly scared of

#college #legit got the best score in the admission test out of all the people applying for my chosen career and like #yeah im proud but a moment of peak excellence means NOTHING in the face of four years of sustained effort #still dont know if im being matter of factly about that or diminishing my own accomplishments to soften the blow if/when i eventually crash #will keep trying though there is nothing else to do in this bitch #this bitch being the human experience

2 notes · View notes