#steve trying vaguely to explain romantic vs platonic love to dustin

[hammity-hammer]

“Isn’t it hard?”

The sunlight wove its way through the mess of curls on Eddie’s head, keeping Steve’s attention from the person next to him. Eddie seemed like he was glowing— like the light was coming from somewhere deep inside of him, rather than millions of miles away; like he was the center of their solar system, the warmth emitting from him keeping their little planets alive.

Steve felt a bony elbow nudge just under his shoulder, pulling him from his thoughts, “Huh?”

“Is it not hard? Loving him?” Dustin asked quietly, nodding his head toward the man laughing and running around with the rest of the party. Steve glanced at Dustin, trying to figure out how he should even broach answering that question, knowing that any explanation he gave would never make sense. How could it not be hard; falling so deeply in love with someone that won’t ever love him back? Knowing that he just had to be the guy to get some kind of fucked up curse that made him incapable of mutual romantic love?

“I… think it’s easy, honestly.” Steve shrugged, trying to keep his face from revealing his obvious lie.

Eddie’s laughter drew Steve’s attention back to him, the sound of his joy bringing a reflexive smile to his face.

“It doesn’t bother you? That he just… doesn’t love you the way you love him?” Dustin rested his chin on his crossed arms, sounding for all the world like he was the one who was unloveable.

“You can’t make people love you, kid, you know that. And you know I’m happy just to have him in my life; he can’t help the way his brain works.” Steve copied Dustin’s movement, turning his head so he could look at the younger man. That’s what he was now— a man, for all intents and purposes, and every time he remembered that, it made a bittersweet feeling bloom in Steve’s chest.

Dustin rolled his eyes, “Obviously you can’t, but he loves you! I see the way he is with you and that’s love! But he won’t just… be your boyfriend, or whatever, and I don’t get that, man.”

Steve sighed, “Not everything is about romance, Dustin. I love you, but I love you like a brother. I love Robin, and you were convinced for basically forever that she and I were end-game. He just happens to love me the way I love Robin, he can’t help it.”

He moved his gaze back to the group in front of them, his eyes instantly finding Eddie again. He was chasing Erica, running with his hands in claw shapes near his head like he was trying to look like some creepy vampire, or something. She was laughing uncontrollably as she ran, weaving through their other friends who were trying to behave semi-normally. Eddie’s head turned momentarily to where Steve and Dustin were sitting at their picnic table and a grin grew on his face when he made eye contact with Steve.

“I just don’t get it, though. Why can’t he love you like that? You’re like, a catch or whatever, aren’t you?” Dustin frowned, ignoring the finger wave Steve sent Eddie’s way to stare at the woodgrain on the table in thought.

Steve turned his head back to Dustin and unfolded his arms a bit to pat him on the head, “Doesn’t matter, man. I love him, he knows I love him, and how I love him, and he’s okay with it, even if he doesn’t feel the same. I just want to keep him near me however I can, and if that’s as my best friend, then that’s as my best friend.”

Dustin sighed deeply, seemingly giving up on his fight for Steve to finally get himself a partner, and Steve thanked everything he could think of for that.