#steve cried when she walked down the aisle towards him

[imtryingbuck]

Timeless Love part two

~ gif not mine credit to owner ~

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Summary: Bucky and Y/n’s life after he finds her in the base.

Word count: 2,037

Warnings: angst (nightmares). fluff. medical inaccuracy (probably, most definitely). pregnancy.

Part 1

Masterlist

“I made a promise didn’t I?”

~~~

True to his word - nearly eighty years later - Bucky got down on one knee by the lake near the tower and asked her to marry him and of course she said yes.

Six months after he proposed, a year after she woke up, Tony had the large room that was normally used for his luxurious parties transformed into a magical, picture perfect wedding venue.

Bucky’s eyes welled up with tears as he watched the love of his long life walk down the aisle towards him, Steve and Sam stood next to him with soft smiles on their lips, Nat and Wanda standing on opposite sides of them with the same expression on their faces, Tony’s arm was wrapped around hers as they walked closer to her happiness.

Their hearts beating as one once they were announced as man and wife, both had tears running down their faces as they shared a passionate kiss.

In the year they’ve been married everything was perfect by day, full of laughter, happiness and love but by night as the compound grows completely silent Bucky would flinch as her cries would wake him up, he knew better than to touch her when she’s having a nightmare since the first time - and only time - he did, she had him pinned faced down on his stomach and his right arm put behind him painfully, his heart had pounded violently against his chest not because he was scared of her but for her, his calming soft voice finally managed to wake her up; for the rest of the night she clung on to him as her tears wet his naked chest.

That night was no different.

He watched in agony as she tossed and turned from her side of the bed, her eyes moving frantically behind her closed eyelids, mumbling quietly but what he could pick up was ‘no’, ‘I’ve been good’, ‘please stop’.

“Doll, sweetheart. Doll come back to me, you’re safe I promise.” He said softly. “Come on my love, wake up.” After over five minutes of him trying to coax her back awake it worked.

“B-Bucky?”

“I’m here darling, you’re okay I promise.” He sat there watching as she came to her senses, hearing her heart beat settle he knew she realised where she was and that she was safe. “C-Can I hold you?”

She doesn’t answer verbally, instead she crawls over towards him and climbs on to his lap and into his welcoming embrace. “I-I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry doll?”

“I… I woke you up didn’t I?”

“It’s okay.” Running his fingers up and down her naked back feeling the scars as he does, Bucky places kisses to her forehead and hairline. “Do you want to try and get some more sleep?”

“Can I stay here?”

“Of course my love.” He shifts them both whilst he pulled up the pillows to be behind his back, then grabbing the covers and pulling it over her. “Goodnight doll, I love you.”

“I love you too Buck, please don’t forget that.”

Having a medical degree really came in handy when someone was injured on a mission. Sam had just been shot down out of the sky landing hard on the ground, as Nat and Steve covered Y/n she cut Sam’s suit to get to his side where she made a hole to drain the blood that was filling his lungs. “Steve we need to get him back to the tower and quickly.”

“Let’s move him.”

“Y/n… are-are you carrying me?” Sam’s voice stuttered with a slur.

“I am.”

“I’m never going to live this down.” Nat couldn’t help but laugh and nod in agreement. “Y/n?”

“Yeah?” She replied as she laid him gently on the table in the jet.

“P-please don’t let me die.”

“You’re not going anywhere, I promise.”

Y/n let Steve carry Sam out once they landed back at home just so no one teased him about being carried by a woman who was smaller than him. But it was too late Tony and Bucky teased him the second they were allowed to see him.

“If Y/n didn’t do what she did Sam wouldn’t be here right now.” Helen Cho stated once she had finished giving the team an update on Sam’s condition. “Y/n can I speak to you privately?”

Once they were in an empty room, Y/n grew anxious thinking she did something wrong and that Helen was going to tell Fury which meant Fury would kick her off the team and she would be send to the Raft and she would never see Bucky again and he would move on and forget all about her and she would be alone an-and-

“Y/n breath! Deep breath in, slowly exhale.”

“I-I’m sorry, I-I didn’t mean to hurt him-“

“You saved his life. You did an amazing job and that’s what I want to talk to you about.”

“I’m sorry?”

“I want to offer you a job in the medical bay.”

“Bu-but will Fury allow that?”

“I don’t see what the problem will be, I��ll speak with him but whatever he says just know the offer is still there.”

“I’ll do it, unless he says no.”

When she told Bucky that she was potentially going to be a nurse again he beamed with pride, picking her up and spinning them around, telling her how proud he was of her. Two days later Fury called her into the office he had at the tower to discuss how she would split her time between missions and working in medical bay. Bucky didn’t think it was fair that she would still have to go on missions but she didn’t care, she was just happy she could be a nurse again and help people.

For six months she had been separating her time between missions and working in the medical bay Bucky had to admit that he was missing his wife and he understood that she was busy, but that didn’t mean he didn’t miss her nonetheless.

He had gone down to the med bay to see if he could grab lunch with her, Helen shook her head at him and told him that Y/n had gone up to their apartment, the place he was now standing outside of. Slowly opening the door - just as he and the team did in order not to scare her and send her into a panic attack - he stood leaning against the doorframe and it felt like he had been transported back in time at seeing her sitting at her small desk hunched over it with paperwork in front of her, he couldn’t help but smile.

“I can feel your eyes on me” her whispered voice snapped him out of his memory.

“Are you alright doll?”

“I’m okay just tired, how are- what’s wrong?”

“Stand up.”

“What?” Crossing over to where she was sat he took her hands in his and helped her stand, his eyes squinting as he looked her up and down. “Buck? What… are you doing?”

He gets down on his knees and presses his ear against her stomach, a soft gasp falling from his lips, one hand on her waist the other holding the back of her thigh. A chuckle falls from his lips as he pushes his ear further into her stomach.

“Buck?”

“Doll” he looks up at her with tears glistening his eyes making the blue even brighter. “Baby you’re pregnant.”

“What? I-I can’t- are you sure?”

“There’s a heartbeat! I can hear it! Strong, a very strong heartbeat, doll.”

“We’re… are we having a baby?” Bucky looked up seeing tears fall from her eyes, he nodded with a huge smile on his lips before he goes back to listening to the heartbeat of their unborn baby.

When Helen confirmed that there was indeed a baby in Y/n’s stomach Bucky wrapped his arms around the love of his life and all but took the air out of her lungs by kissing her and telling her how much he loves her.

“I have some more news for you.” Helen’s voice made them pull apart.

“What? Is it okay? Is something wrong?” The panic in Bucky’s voice was clear as his eyes bounced from Y/n’s stomach to Helen.

“Everything is fine, they are both healthy.” She smiles.

“B-Both? As in-“

“Twins?”

“Congratulations James and Y/n, you’re having twins.”

Bucky passed out.

As the months passed by the bigger Y/n’s stomach grew, at seven months pregnant she looked like she was carrying five babies - as she put it. Bucky loved it though. Watching as her belly swelled with not one but two of his babies did something to him, he was already protective of her as it was but now it increased a thousand times over. And now he never let her do anything for herself, if she needed food? He got it, needed a drink? He got it, hell even if she needed to go to the bathroom? He took her.

And when Bucky wasn’t there and on a mission he had someone else running around for her.

“Hey doll, I’m just finishing off my run and I’ll be right home. How are you?“ He panted lightly down the phone, rolling his eyes at Sam as he runs around him in circles.

“I’m okay, my waters broke, how are you?”

“I’m good- wait, what did you just say?” Bucky’s eyes widen hearing her words.

“I’m o-“

“No not that bit, doll did you just say your waters broke?”

“Oh yeah, I’m on my way to Helen now.”

Bucky ran as fast as his legs would carry him back to the compound with Steve and Sam right behind him. His heart was pounding in his chest the closer he got to his world.

“I’m here! They aren’t here yet are they?” He panted as he got around the corner.

“No Buck, not yet.” Sighing a breath of relief that he hadn’t missed the birth of his children, he leaned his head against her shoulder.

Seven hours after her waters broke she was gripping onto Bucky’s and Steve’s - they had asked him to be there after they announced to the team that she was pregnant, Steve cried whilst saying ‘yes’ - hands for dear life as she pushed the first baby out, followed a few minutes by the second baby.

“Boys. Two healthy boys.” Helen beamed as she handed the crying babies to their momma.

*four years later*

Tony had surprised the married couple with giving them their own floor in the tower, it was quickly transformed into a perfect family home for the four of them. Bucky was currently walking through the door that led him to his family, a smile instantly lighting up his face as he heard the excited squeals coming from the twins, no doubt causing chaos.

“Dada!”

“Hey little man.” Picking up his son, placing a kiss on his forehead. “Been good for momma?”

“Yes!” Liar he thought to himself.

“Buck?”

“I’m here doll.” He smiled at hearing his other trouble maker come running towards him.

With his two sons in each arm he walked towards the kitchen where his better half was cooking dinner, his eyes never leaving her form even when the twins wiggled to get out of his arms.

“I can feel your eyes on me.”

“I’m just admiring my view.” Wrapping his arms around her, his hands going straight to her deflated bump - which he missed so much - he places a kiss to her neck. “Where’s my little princess?”

“She’s asleep, but she needs to wake up now so she can sleep through the night.”

“I’ll go and wake up our little grumpy pants.”

As he walks out of the bedroom, he stands in the doorway watching as Y/n gets the boys into their chairs, both of their attention focused on the food in front of them, he smiles softly. His family was completed by the newest addition which he currently had in his arms, their three month old baby girl.

He made a promise so many years ago, a promise he made sure he kept to.

Tags: @imcinnamoons | @pigeonmama | @capsbestgirl77

[buckysgrace]

Seventy pt 1

I had to break this into two separate parts because according to tumblr it is too long smh sooooo :)

Dancing in the Dark Masterlist

1994

Cherry seemed to grow overnight. 

Before Billy could blink, she was nearing two. He wanted her to slow down, to stop growing. He teased her about that most mornings when he’d wake her up in the morning and kiss all over her face. He liked the mornings the best. She liked to wake up early with him and they spent the early hours outside on the balcony before they began to make breakfast for Kim. She was always babbling about something.

The cats usually joined them for some time and she was doing a lot better around them. She didn’t try to grab and yank on them, instead she had learned how to gently pet them. Still, he tried to supervise her anytime she was near the cats. Just to be safe.

She still looked like Kim in his opinion, minus the blue eyes and her nose. Cherry certainly had his nose, there was no denying that. Her hair was still as fiery, however, and she really did look like a cherry on certain days. Especially when she got mad. Her whole face seemed to light up into flames.

She didn’t have many meltdowns, and still rarely cried. The first big tantrum had been in the grocery store of all places. She had collapsed in the middle of the aisle, preventing anyone from walking by as she sobbed and wailed over a bottle of hot sauce that she certainly wasn’t able to eat yet. God help him.

She was currently enjoying humming and babbling along with the radio. She liked to bang things around, like she was making up her own music in her head. He liked playing with her on the floor and just pretending like he could make sense of what she was saying. She was getting better at speaking clearer, however. 

Leaving for work had become a pain. She would cry when he’d leave, fat tears staining her cheeks as Kim held her back from running out after him. He wished he could take her with him. He was sure she’d be an excellent chef. It made him feel guilty, even though he knew there was nothing to do about it. 

Despite that, she was always there to greet him when he returned home. All was forgiven as she’d quickly wobble herself towards him and throw her chunky arms around his leg. He’d pick her up with one arm and kiss all over her sweet face, enjoying her giggles that would fill the room. 

She liked trying to keep up with Steve’s girls, even though they were a few years older. Paisley was the closest in age, but even then she still had two years on her. It seemed to fit well that they all had little girls. They all got along and the long trend of hand me downs had slowly started. He kept it to himself as he didn’t want to rush Kim, but he really was beginning to want another. He had already switched his hours at work, arriving home earlier so he could help bathe and lay Cherry down for the night. 

“Billy,” Kim bounced Cherry in her arms one night, smiling softly as he greeted her with a sweet kiss. Cherry squealed loudly, drawing him away from her as he plopped her into his arms. He grinned widely, bouncing her softly as he peppered kisses along her cheek. She giggled loudly, her cheeks puffing up as drool fell from her lips, “Did you notice her shirt?” Kim asked slowly, feeling a hint of anxiety tracing up her spine.

Cherry pressed her palms against his cheeks, gently patting in the new manner that she liked to do. Her hair was pulled back into two little pigtails and was clad in the little princess dress that she refused to take off. They’d taken to buying a second one, just so they could wash the original. But over the dress she had on a pink shirt that matched the tulle of the skirt. 

“Did you get a new shirt?” Billy drew his face away, tugging her shirt down so he could fully read the words. Kim bit her lip, smiling nervously, “Awe, big sister. You’re the best big sister, aren’t you?” He kissed her cheek again and Kim stared at him baffled, realizing he didn’t comprehend it. 

“Yeah!” Cherry clapped her chubby hands together, “Baby!” Cherry pointed towards Kim, bearing a wide grin on her face that matched Kim’s. Billy’s expression changed as a lightbulb flashed inside of his eyes. 

“Oh my god,” Billy shifted Cherry in his hands, looking at Kim with wide eyes, “You’re pregnant? We’re having another baby?” He exclaimed, excitement growing on his face. She giggled, feeling a sense of relief travel through her.

“We found out today,” She grinned as he pulled her into his arms, squeezing her softly before he was kissing her again. She looked at him nervously, holding her fingers together, “It’s not too soon, is it?”

“No,” He shook his head, reassuring her, “I think it’s perfect timing. They’re close in age, but maybe they’ll get along better.” He said as he did his best to keep his body from jittering from how excited he was. He hoped for another one of her. 

“She seems excited,” Kim nodded her head in agreement, “But I don’t think she realizes that a baby is well, real.” She laughed softly as Cherry went into another babbling rant. She was getting better with her words, but still stumbled over them when she got excited. Billy felt a similar way as he leaned forward to kiss Kim again.

Her lips were soft and sweet, tasted just like sugar as he dragged his mouth against hers. Her lips curled into a gentle smile as she held onto him, swaying back and forth before Cherry tried to pull them apart. As cute as she was, she was the world’s worst cockblock. 

“We gotta work on those jealousy issues,” He cooed as he bounced the little girl in his arms, earning a little giggle from her, “How will you ever handle a little baby brother or sister?” He asked seriously, shaking his head as he rocked her back and forth.

“Sistew,” She answered a second later, blue eyes flashing in amusement, “We play.” She said as she gestured down towards her skirt, smiling brightly. He grinned as he bounced her softly.

“You want to get cleaned up and then dinner will be ready?” Kim hummed as she opened the stove, peaking at what was placed inside the stove. He figured it was some sort of pasta, as Cherry preferred that to everything else.

“Sounds good,” He leaned forward to kiss her cheek again, grinning at the way Cherry tried to hold up her palm to stop him, “Do I smell of grease that badly?” He asked as he set the toddler down, holding her hands softly as she began to bounce on the tips of her toes. He’d hold her when he was done showering.

“Hm,” Kim pretended to think playfully as she grabbed an oven mitt, “Been trying out that rib recipe again?” She asked him, eyebrows raised in amusement as he felt a laugh bubble free.

“You and your nose,” He teased as he kissed the top of Cherry’s head, “I’ll be right back. Help mama, alright?” He said, grinning at the way she rushed forward to find her tiny oven mitt. She had an apron too, but often forgot to wear it. 

He scrubbed himself clean in the shower, removing all the sweat and grime from the long day in the kitchen. Him and Kim switched on the days that they’d cook at home, but he enjoyed when she made food for him. It was comforting. 

It did turn out to be pasta. Stuffed shells. Cherry was able to use her utensils for the most part, but they still cut the bigger noodles up for her. Occasionally she’d grasp them with her hands, which Billy didn’t really complain about. How could he? She looked too cute smearing noodles and sauce across her little cheeks.

“I got my next book started,” Kim told him when she returned with the towel for Cherry. It was yellow, with a little duck beak on top, “She said I should do it about green beans this time.”

“Green beans?” Billy turned towards his daughter curiously, “How come?” He asked as he rubbed her face dry first. Her hair hung in damp ringlets against her forehead as she smiled at him.

“Dey yummy!” She exclaimed as she rubbed her tummy, sticking her tongue out joyfully. Kim laughed as she watched, resting a hand on her hip as she leaned against the counter. He observed her for a moment, ensuring that she didn’t need any help. She wasn’t fragile, but he wanted to take care of her. 

“Oh,” He chuckled as he began to dry Cherry off, smiling at the way she giggled when he pressed near her ribs, “That’s very smart.” He told her with a nod of his head as he wrapped her up tightly. She liked it better that way.

Cherry always went to bed easily, tucked in and quick to sleep as soon as the lights were out and story time was over. He was always impressed by how peacefully she slept. She got that from her mother for sure.

“Do you think she’ll stay in bed tonight?” He hummed as he curled up against Kim, breathing in the smell of her lotion and shampoo. She always smelt so good. 

“We can hope, right?” She giggled as she turned to kiss him, her lips smooth and soft. Like flower petals. He dragged his lips slowly against hers, savoring the taste of her against his mouth. 

He kissed along the curve of her neck, licking at her skin as she wiggled underneath him. She sighed softly, closing her eyes as he squeezed at her waist. She rutted her hips up against his, meeting him as he nipped at her skin.

“Mhm,” He hummed, smirking as he pushed her nightgown up over her slender thighs. He squeezed at her knees, spreading her apart as he situated himself between her, “You’re so beautiful.” 

She tilted her head up towards his mouth, kissing him deeply as he brushed his fingers through her wet folds. He blinked for a moment, stalling as he began to move his hand once again. Smooth. She was completely smooth. 

“What’s wrong?” She asked as she looked up at him curiously, eyes fluttering in the night air. He continued to touch her skin, sure that he was losing his mind. 

“Did you shave?” He asked as he turned, reaching to turn the lamp on so he could better look at her. She sat up on her elbows, a sheepish smile on her lips as he brushed his fingers over her smooth skin in horror, “It’s all gone.”

“Waxing is in now,” She said simply, “The girls and I went and tried it together.” She flushed this time, making his jaw drop in surprise. He was not impressed, not in the least bit. He liked her red hair. 

“I don’t like your friends,” He answered quickly with a shake of his head, “I like your hair.” He repeated his thoughts, trying to keep from whining as he sat back. He blinked roughly, shaking his head at her betrayal. It was probably Gina’s idea. 

“It’s the style,” She giggled as she shoved her foot against his hip playfully, “C’mon, you’ll enjoy it.” She grinned, making him sigh as he nodded his head. He’d mourn the hair later. He’d just have to convince her never to do it again. 

He leaned over, capturing her lips against his own. She moaned against his mouth, leaning against him as she ran her fingers across his shoulders. Her lips were hot against his, sending jolts of electricity through his body.

He wiggled himself down between her legs, spreading her wide as he dragged his lips against her smooth cunt. He breathed in softly, dragging his tongue out against her skin. She whimpered from underneath him, making him groan before he dragged his tongue in between her slick folds.

He savored the taste of her, the feel of her as he teased at her folds softly. She always tasted good, always felt good around him as he flicked his tongue across her clit. He drew soft shapes against her sensitive bud before he began to flick it rapidly, making her squirm from underneath him. 

“Billy,” She whimpered as she knitted her fingers through his hair, gripping him softly, “I need you.” She begged, making his mind fill with pleasure. He looked up at her, sucking on her clit softly as she rocked her hips up against his mouth.

Her features were stretched into bliss, her eyes wide and her cheeks flushed. She continued to rock herself up against his face despite her previous comment, making him smirk as he gave her pussy another slow lick. 

He crawled over the length of her body, his face close to hers as she ran her fingers against his spine gently. He felt a shiver race up his back before he dragged his lips against hers, allowing her to taste her sweetness on his tongue. 

She dragged her tongue against his, moaning as their mouths meshed together. He reached between their bodies, sighing against her parted mouth as he slid his aching dick inside of her glistening pussy.

She moaned against his mouth, gentle sighs filling the room as he bottomed out inside of her. She felt incredible around him, her walls squeezing him tightly as he began to slowly drag his cock in and out of her slick walls.

He hummed against her mouth, his lips curling into a soft smile as she wiggled her hips up to meet his thrusts. He moved a hand down to her hips, squeezing her flesh softly as he began to drag her slender body against the girth of his cock.

“God,” She whimpered as she tossed her head back, sighing as he pressed his fingers against her pouty lips, “Feels nice. Mhm, you like it?” She teased him, sliding his fingers into her mouth slowly.

He groaned at the sensation, watching the way his fingers disappeared inside of her mouth. He thrusted them slowly, as his cock ached inside of her wet walls. She was slick and smooth, sweet as she cried out from underneath him.

“A lot,” He hummed, grinning as he bent his head down to kiss away her drool as he removed his fingers from her mouth. She whined, digging her fingertips into his skin, “Your pussy feels so good.” He mumbled, grinning against her skin at the way she cooed underneath him.

She shivered as he dragged his cock rougher inside of her, rutting roughly into her slick walls as he felt his own pleasure growing. His stomach was clenching, fire spreading through his body as he gaped loudly at how hard her pussy was clamping down around his girth. 

She squeaked, nails digging into his skin as she came with a muffle cry. She shut her eyes, shaking underneath him as she moaned underneath his breath. Sometimes he wished she could be louder, but he didn’t want to wake Cherry either.

He pressed into her deeply a few more times, rutting into her slick cunt as he dragged his mouth against hers. She whimpered from underneath him, hands exploring his body as he felt himself coming undone inside of her.

He grunted as he came inside of her, gasping as the pleasure filled him deeply. He dropped his head against her forehead, sighing deeply as he lazily dragged his lips against hers. He pecked her mouth twice, grinning at the soft gasps that left her mouth.

He sat up a bit, about to mention how lucky he was when a cry stalled his thoughts. He dropped his head, resting his forehead against hers as she giggled softly.

“You know she just wants to lay in here, right?” She asked him, raising her eyebrows as he nodded his head in defeat. He couldn’t deny that he liked snuggling with Cherry, but at times he also missed having Kim all to himself. At least they’d gotten a little lucky this time around.

“Be right back.” He huffed as he slowly stood, wiggling out of the sheets as he searched for his discarded pajama pants and headed down to Cherry’s room.

-

“Hey,” Gina brought up slowly one afternoon as Paisley and Cherry were rushing around in the backyard. Kim had her legs stretched out on a towel, enjoying the feeling of the sun against her skin. Rosemary had said it was good for pregnancies too, which Kim wasn’t sure about, but she went along with it anyway, “I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Yeah,” Kim smiled as she turned to face her, but then stopped once she realized how serious Gina looked, “What’s wrong?” She asked, shifting a bit as Dove fell flat against her lap once again. She liked to snuggle with her outside. Pearl was not a fan, but did sit near the windows to judge them all. 

“Steve and I are getting a divorce,” She said softly, making Kim sit up straighter so she could look at Gina better, “It wasn’t an overnight thing. I think it’s been leading up to this for a while.” She explained, but Kim was still shocked. 

“What happened?” She asked seriously, her jaw actually dropping as she shook her head in confusion. Steve hadn’t said anything, neither had Tommy or Robin. She figured if it had been happening then someone would’ve brought it up before now. There were things to fix it. 

“He wants more kids and I just-, I can’t,” Gina replied, “I had a tubal ligation and he finally found out. He wasn’t happy about it.” She looked solemn as she explained it. Kim pressed her lips together, trying to decide if it was best to mention that she knew about it. Billy had told her a long time ago as he had felt like he had been put in a bad spot. Which he had in a way. 

“You didn’t talk about it?” Kim asked, but then stopped to clarify, “I mean I know it’s your body, but surely you and Steve could’ve agreed to something different?” She questioned him, furrowing her eyebrows together as she glanced at the way Cherry fell to her knees. She gasped, sticking her tongue out before she roughly pushed herself back up and began to run again. 

“Something like that,” Gina said slowly, “I shouldn’t have lied, but he didn’t understand why I couldn’t keep doing that to my body.” She spit out roughly, eyes glazing over before she took a deep inhale. She shook her head, pushing her newly dyed hair behind her ears. She’d been keeping it blonde for some time now. 

“Oh,” Kim nodded, “I get it. I do. That’s a hard situation. I thought you guys were happy?” She asked again, feeling like she’d be able to fix things with Billy if her labor had been bad. She was sure of it actually. 

“Not really,” Gina replied, “Maybe he was, but I just felt so invisible in comparison. I know that sounds terrible, but I feel like I missed out on so much. I’m jealous of you. You and Billy got to do all of these things together without kids. I don’t know. It sounds awful.” She shrugged her shoulders, looking guilty as she stared back towards where their daughters were playing. 

“You sound like you need a break,” Kim replied gently, “I could watch Paisley for a few days if you need some time off. I really don’t mind.” She told her seriously. Gina was fairly successful though, taking up a position as one of the weather girls for a TV station. She always looked pretty on screen. 

“It’s okay,” Gina smiled at her, “I’m glad that I got to tell you. Thank you for listening to me. You and Billy are like family, I hope this doesn’t change anything.” She added, looking like she was worried about it. Kim shook her head quickly. 

“It would never change anything,” Kim grinned, “My parents are divorced. I know what to expect.” She told her with a laugh, feeling relieved at the tension that passed them. Gina nodded her head in agreement, observing as Cherry rushed over to her.

“Mama,�� She breathed out, cheeks flushed as she moved her chubby hands to Kim’s shoulder, “Fiwsty.” She said as she began to collapse into Kim’s arms. She hummed as she held onto the two year old, figuring that she was getting tired as her nap time approached.

“Do you want anything?” She asked as she stood with Cherry, holding her in her arms as Dove scampered back inside. Gina shook her head, but Paisley walked forward.

“Popsicle?” She asked sweetly, taking Kim’s spare hand before she pulled the glass door open for them. Cherry popped her head up, squealing in excitement as Kim laughed.

“I think a popsicle would be good,” She replied, balancing her daughter on one hip as she filled the sippy cup up with some ice water, “Grape?” She asked as she pulled the popsicles out next, knowing that Gina’s children had some odd love for grape flavored things. Cherry preferred cherry or strawberry, which Kim thought was cute.

“Yes,” Paisley smiled as she took it, beginning to munch on it, “Thank you.” She smiled kindly, taking the spare cup as she went back and forth on the two. Kim touched the top of her head, feeling bad for what was to come. She hoped that the divorce was smooth, that their kids didn’t suffer like Kim had. 

-

“Hello?” Billy answered first, smiling as Cherry rushed to join him. Kim was out with an editor, the motions for her first picture book was finally going forward, “Oh, hold on.” He paused as he bent towards Cherry, holding the phone out towards both of them so she could speak up.

“Hi,” She giggled softly, making him laugh as he kissed the top of her head, “I Chewwy.”  He heard a hesitation on the other line before someone spoke up.

“Cherry, hey,” A male voice rang through on the other line, “This is Lucas. Your aunt Max’s boyfriend. Is your dad there still?” Cherry looked up at him curiously, holding the phone out to her father but continuing to linger next to him. 

“Right here,” Billy answered quickly, “Is everything alright?” He asked worriedly as he touched the top of Cherry’s head, suddenly concerned that something was wrong with Max. Or Susan. 

“Yes,” Lucas said quickly, “Mostly.” He squeaked out a second later, making Billy’s eyes widen in panic. He wondered how quickly they could get a ticket out to Indiana. 

“Mostly?” He asked as he balanced the phone against his shoulder and cheek, wondering what the hell had happened. He waited for Lucas to continue, beginning to fear the worst. “Like health wise everything is fine but-,” He paused before he took a deep breath, “How did you know when it was the right moment to propose?” He asked instead, making Billy sigh deeply. He closed his eyes, feeling like this had been far more dramatic than what it needed to be. 

“If you’re asking for my permission she’s going to be pissed.” He told him dryly, a small smile forming on his lips as Cherry sat down near his feet. She wrapped her little arms around his leg, holding him tightly. 

“Oh, oh no,” He laughed, “Yeah she’d be furious. I just- I don’t know when to do it.” Lucas explained a moment later, sounding frustrated. He could understand. It had been hard to decide when the right moment would be for him too. 

“I didn’t either,” Billy admitted, “I had it planned out but did it far earlier than that. Trust me. You’ll know when the moment is right. She’ll say yes.” He promises him. Max was crazy about Lucas. Truly in love with him. They would be happy. 

“I hope so,” He sighed slowly, “I really love her.” He mumbled on the other line, making Billy smile a little wider. Max deserved to be happy and Lucas truly was the best for her. He was happy that after all of these years they had made it work. 

“I know,” He told him seriously, “You’re going to do fine. I’m sending you the best of luck, though.” He replied as he furrowed his eyebrows together, trying to imagine how Max would react. It was hard to picture. 

“I’ll need it.” Lucas sighed dramatically before they said their goodbyes. Billy playfully dragged Cherry back into the living room, determined to get all of her energy out before her nap time. Otherwise she’d crash before dinner, then wake up far too early in the morning. 

“Max come see me?” She asked curiously, blinking her big blue eyes up at him as they settled into the recliner. She sighed deeply, cheeks still flushed as she laid her little head on his chest. He smiled as he wrapped his arms around her.

“Maybe soon,” He hummed as he put his feet up, crossing his ankles before Pearl jumped up curiously. She settled on his side, rolling up into a ball as Cherry yawned widely, “Do you miss her?” He asked softly, dangling her pacifier between his fingers as she nuzzled herself closer to him.

“Yeah,” She replied as she wrinkled her nose up, struggling to keep her eyes open, “We play again.” She said dreamily as she took the pacifier from his fingers, cramming it into her mouth before she dropped her head to his shoulder. He chuckled as he patted at her back, rubbing her skin softly as he rocked her back and forth.

He held her close as soft hums of sleep left her lips, her features relaxing as she fell into her slumber. He had never been one for naps, but he had grown into a bad habit of passing out every time he snuggled with her during nap time. It was just too comfortable. 

“Hey,” He slowly blinked his eyelids open before he squinted them, wrinkling his nose up at how bright the sun was against his eyes, “Hi, sleepyhead. Did you nap again?” Kim peered down at him, her makeup sleek and smooth and hair tied up nicely on her head. Cherry was resting on her hip, little giggles leaving her mouth.

“What?” He grumbled as he sat up, blinking in confusion as he rubbed his lips together. Sticky. Why were his lips sticky? He brought his hand up to his mouth, rubbing his lips before he pulled his hand away to reveal a red stain against his skin.

“I think she got into my makeup,” Kim explained easily, looking like she was trying to keep from bursting into laughter. He quickly sat up, looking at the makeup bag that had been knocked over. Eyeshadow, lip stick, mascara and got knows what else was resting near his feet, “At least she knows that red fits you.”

“Shit,” He cursed as he began to wipe at his eyes, stopping only when she gripped his free hand. She shook her head as she squeezed his fingers softly, “How bad is it?” He asked her seriously, a little fearful to look at himself in the mirror. He glanced over, noticing the camera on the table.

“Like a clown,” She said with a giggle as she brushed his blonde strands from his forehead, “But she did know that blue is your color. So she’s got taste.” She teased as she bounced Cherry in her arms. She grinned as she held her chunky hands up, showing off the mess of colors on her fingers. 

“Ha,” He laughed as he stood up, giving Cherry a nudge on her nose, “I’m going to clean up before dinner.” He said a moment later, deciding that he would never again fall asleep while on watch duty. He should’ve learned his lesson the first time Paisley decided she was a hairdresser and gave him a shaggy haircut.

“Doesn’t daddy look pretty though?” Kim cooed as she held onto Cherry, bouncing her once again. He shook his head as he continued his path, listening as Cherry giggled and called him the prettiest. 

He truly did think he looked like a clown as he peeked at himself in the mirror. She had smeared blue eyeshadow not only over his eyelids but also onto his eyebrows. His cheeks were a bright red, as well as his lips. Sticky. She’d smeared lipstick there. She’d brushed mascara over his eyebrows and nose, making him sigh as he began to scrub his face clean. Not fun at all.

By the time he was finished, Cherry was back to playing with her little farm set in the living room. She dropped the horses from her hands immediately, squealing as she pulled herself onto her little legs and ran to him.

“What do you want, cinnamon stick?” He asked, making himself sound more grouchy as she giggled up at him. She gripped his pants, tugging at him as she began to groan in protest. He pulled a smile onto his lips as he pulled her into his arms.

“I put the makeup away,” Kim spoke up as she popped her head in from the kitchen, grinning sweetly, “And out of reach.” She added a second later, still smiling brightly as Cherry began to point towards the toy filled living room.

“How thoughtful of you,” He added dryly as he shook his head, “If only we had thought of that before she got to it.” He said with a laugh, kissing Cherry’s chubby cheek before he sat her back down. She picked up a cow this time, handing it to him before she began to pick up her next item.

“That’s not-, well,” She paused for a moment as she joined them in the living room, “I guess that is true. But I always keep my makeup in here. I didn’t think she’d get into it.” She smiled as she accepted the sheep from Cherry, thanking her as the little toddle stormed back to the barn. 

“That’s the lack of organization,” He teased her, pulling her onto his lap this time as Cherry plopped herself down in front of the toy farm. That had slowly become her favorite toy set, “I think your daughter gets that from you too.” He added as he rested his cheek against her shoulder.

“You’re so funny,” She laughed as she linked their fingers together. He smiled down at her wedding ring, glad that she still loved it, “The session went well today.” She said softly as he kissed her cheek sweetly.

“I told you it would,” He pointed out as he rubbed at her hips, watching as she held her hands out to accept another animal from Cherry, “You’re going to be incredible.” He reassured her, hugging her tightly.

“You did,” She said nervously as she bit down on her bottom lip, “I still wished I could’ve dragged you and her with me.” She added with a laugh, cradling the little animals in her arms. 

“I don’t know if they would’ve appreciated that,” He told her with a laugh, smiling as Cherry brought a little pig over this time, “What sound does this animal make?” He asked her, stalling her rushed movements as she dropped her palms to his knees.

“Oink, oink!” She proclaimed as she wiggled her nose up with her efforts, making the two of them laugh, “I wike dem.” She said as she leaned forward to kiss the toy piggy’s nose. He grinned widely, deciding that they needed to go to a petting zoo for her too. 

“I like cows the best,” Kim responded as she held up the little toy, nudging the cow’s nose against the pig’s, “And what do they say?” Cherry turned her head up, looking at Kim like she was silly.

“Moo, mama!” She proclaimed with a wide smile before she began to collect all of the toys, gathering them into her tiny arms, “Bye bye now.” She said as she wobbled away, dropping a few in her path. 

“She’s expensive,” He said at last, grinning at the way the toddler plopped down on her chunky tummy again, “And messy.” He replied a moment later, watching as she began to kick her arms and legs out against the pool of toy animals. Very messy. But at least she was cute.

-

Kim still suffered with morning sickness, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as it had been with Cherry. She could keep food down better, which was certainly a help. Especially when she had to worry about a toddler this time around.

“You alright?” Billy hummed as he walked around the corner, holding a small box in his hand as Cherry wobbled after him in excitement. She had discovered wrapping paper after her last birthday party. Specially focused on the wrapping paper and not what was inside of the boxes.

She gripped onto Billy’s jeans as she walked, clad only in her diaper as her little belly stuck out. She was still tiny for her age but she was clearly well fed. Which was more than good. 

“Yeah,” She nodded her head, smiling as Billy held the box up high enough so Cherry couldn’t grab it, “What do you have there?” She asked him curiously, smiling at the way their daughter pouted her cute little lips out.

“A gift,” He smiled as he passed the little wrapped present to her. They’d gotten a lot better at doing it, but it was still a bit messy. But she didn’t mind, “I hope you like it.” He hummed as he picked up Cherry, giving her cheek a fat kiss as she watched in interest. 

“What’s this?” She asked, “Oh my God! It’s so cute.” She said as she looked at the little piece in her hands. It was a cow with a red dress on, with little seeds across it that reminded her of a strawberry. The cow had a book open, like it was reading. 

“It’s called a uh,” He paused for a moment, “A Mary Moo Moo. They’re cows I guess.” He rubbed the back of his head awkwardly, like he wasn’t sure about it.

“I love them,” She told him seriously, smiling big as she set the object up on the window sill above the kitchen sink. It fit perfectly with their view, “I’ll have to start a collection.” She told him seriously, admiring how it looked.

“Moo!” Cherry shouted cheerily, holding her little palms together as she giggled loudly. He looked down proudly, glad that she had remembered. Kim turned towards her, observing the way the toddler looked back and forth between her parents for approval.

“Yeah, cows say moo!” Kim grinned as she tickled at Cherry’s little chubby side. She giggled as she kicked her feet, squealing loudly as Billy bounced her in his arm. He chuckled.

“I wonder what her favorite animal will be,” He hummed as he kissed the top of her forehead, lingering for just a moment, “Probably something silly.” He said at last, referencing to the many odd stuffed animals that Cherry collected. They could never be normal, all of her plushies were usually missing ears or arms or legs. Eyes. Always second hand that Billy scrubbed clean for hours. She liked baby dolls too, but those were allowed to be clean and put together. Thankfully.

“Yeah,” Cherry giggled as she poked at his nose, smiling happily, “Cookie?” She asked a second later, smiling bashfully in the way she only did when she knew Billy would give in. He sighed deeply.

“Just one,” He told her as he walked over towards the cookie jar, “Then maybe you can have one after dinner.” He added a second later, making the toddler squeal in excitement. Kim peeked over, ensuring that there were enough cookies for her later.

-

“What do you think we’re having?” Billy asked one night, drawing soft circles onto her belly. Cherry was fast asleep, her head resting on Kim’s chest as they laid in bed together. Most nights she fell asleep in bed with them and Billy would sneak her out before they had their own fun. Many people had told them that they’d only get Cherry attached, too dependent on them. However, neither of them could bear to look into her big blue eyes and tell her no. 

“Another girl,” Kim admitted after a second thought, “It just feels the same way as with Cherry.” She thought about it for a moment. Her morning sickness wasn’t nearly as bad, but it was still there. She still had a hard time eating at times, not to mention the similar mini bump.

“Another girl?” Billy was grinning widely, his finger tracing along her belly button, “I can handle another mini you.” He teased her, still as infatuated with her growing belly as he had been the first time. She still thought he was the best dad. 

“A little boy would be sweet too,” She added softly, “A tiny version of you.” Billy snorted, as if she had said something funny. She stopped moving her fingers through his hair as she peered down at him curiously. 

“I prefer mini versions of you,” He told her, “You’re so much easier to care for.” She frowned, worried that Neil had once again sunk his claws into him. She didn’t believe that raising a boy would be any harder. And he’d still be a great father.

“You’re easy to take care of too,” She told him seriously, leaning forward to kiss his lips. He really was, he just refused to see that. She’d just have to show him. 

-

“What should we get mama for her birthday?” He asked as he carried Cherry around the busy mall, trying to understand why so many people were bustling about. But the little girl was entertained. She kept wanting to stop in each shop, even though they had come on this trip for one reason only.

“Cake.” She said with a nod of her head, furrowing her little red eyebrows together as she dropped her thumb from her mouth. She’d been doing that more often since they’d started to wean her off of the pacifier. She had a little white shirt on, over it was a denim overall dress. The bottom of the dress was plaid, the middle of it a sunflower design. It was a little random, but cute. 

“Well, yes,” He said with a nod of her head, “But for a present.” He explained as he headed past Victoria’s Secret for the third time. He kept debating about going in there, but wasn’t sure if it would be very appropriate for his daughter. Or perhaps it was fine. He didn’t know. 

“Candy!” She proclaimed with a clap of her hands, squealing as they passed by a candy store. He stalled for a moment, thinking that Kim would enjoy that but he needed something else in her bag. 

“Okay,” He paused as he shifted her in his arms, “You’ve been hanging out around her too much, you know that?” He questioned her as he kissed her cheek repeatedly. She kicked her little feet, her shoes bouncing against his thigh. 

“Yeah,” She giggled softly as she chewed on her thumb once again, “Moos!” She blinked as the thought came rushing to her, the excitement pouring into her eyes as she clung to him. 

“Cows?” He humored her with a grin, rubbing her back softly. She chewed on her thumb again, looking around thoughtfully as if they might find one in front of them. 

“Mhm,” She nodded her head before she rested against him, “Wots.” She mumbled as she continued to suck on her thumb. He shook his head, deciding he’d work on that later. 

“You’re a genius,” He told her playfully, “I’m sure she’s going to love it.” He told her with a smile, figuring that it was something to start with. Something. He’d look for a little longer. 

“There’s mommy!” He smiled as he set Cherry down from the car, looking at the way Kim wobbled her way out from the house. He thought it was sort of funny how she walked the same way as their toddler did. 

“Hi, baby!” Kim grinned as she crouched down, holding her arms out as Cherry met her half way, “Look at you. Did you have fun at the mall today?” She asked as she slowly picked her up, making a face until she held her comfortably. 

“Happy Biwfday!” Cherry exclaimed gleefully, holding her little arms out in excitement. He made a face, completely given away as Kim looked back at him curiously. 

“What?” Kim laughed as she wrinkled her eyebrows together, “Oh, I see. Were you shopping for me?” She asked as she brushed her fingers across the toddler’s soft tummy. 

“She sucks at keeping secrets,” He grumbled a second later, “It’s not her birthday yet, Cherry. Good job though.” He smiled as he kissed her cheek, accepting the way she fell back into his arms a second later. 

“No big parties,” Kim answered softly, “I just want it to be us. Maybe we can finally rent that dinosaur movie.” She said thoughtfully, making him nod in agreement. They’d wanted to see it in theaters last year, but taking a baby out for that long seemed too difficult. 

“I can do that,” He kissed her cheek softly, “I was thinking about corn dogs.” He smiled as he opened the door for her, letting her waddle her way in first. The house smelt good, like sugar. She’d either lit up her candles or she’d been baking again. 

“You know the way to my heart.” She smiled as she tapped her hand over her chest, accepting the way Dove immediately greeted her. 

“We try, don’t we?” He chuckled as he rocked Cherry back and forth, grinning at the way she giggled loudly. She was too cute for her own good, even if she was good at ruining surprises. 

“Uh huh,” She answered proudly as she slid down, sitting down to pull off her shoes and socks, “Mama hewp!” She whined as she began to kick her feet, looking frustrated as she grasped at the strap of her shoes again.

“Max called,” Kim huffed as she slowly crouched down again, gripping her stomach for balance as he quickly reached his hands out to support her if she had needed it. She had slowly fallen backwards last week while trying to put away the dishes. She hadn’t gotten hurt, but he had been paranoid ever since, “She said Lucas proposed to her.” She responded gleefully as she removed Cherry’s shoes.

“Oh did he?” He grinned as he gripped her hands, helping her slowly rise to her feet again. He cocked an eyebrow, holding her close as she caught her breath for a second, “What did he do?” He asked curiously, still feeling happy that Lucas had thought enough to ask him about it.

“I guess he knows someone in electronics,” She started slowly as she squinted her eyes, like she was trying to recall the full story, “Anyways they went to the arcade and they made some bonus level, asked her that way I guess.”

“That’s-,” He paused for a moment, “That’s pretty cool.” He admitted with a laugh, wondering if he should’ve waited to make more of an effort with his. No. He still thought that his was special, even if it hadn’t been what he originally wanted.

“Very Max like,” She laughed as she lazily tugged her arms around him, squeezing softly, “I missed you.” She hummed as she nestled her cheek against his. He breathed in her perfume, wondering how she always smelt so sweet.

“I can’t take her to the mall again,” He said with a laugh as he pulled away, “Do you know how many toy stores she wanted to go into? How many clothes that she wanted?” He asked her seriously, just glad that it hadn’t resulted in some sort of tantrum. 

“She likes to shop,” Kim hummed along with a laugh, glancing over where Cherry had plopped herself down in front of the patio doors next to Pearl. The cat flicked her tail for a moment before accepting the company, turning back to tan in the sun, “And she knows someone can’t tell her no.”

“Yeah, well-,” He chuckled as he watched their daughter kick her little feet in the air, resting her cheeks in her hands as she babbled off to the cat. She had some imagination, that was for sure, “You try and tell her no. It’s like telling you no.” He laughed as he helped her to the couch, knowing her ankles would swell if she was on her feet for too long.

“Is it?” She grinned as she looked up at him, not even protesting this time as he raised her feet up and put the pillow underneath her ankles. Just for good measure. She smiled as she laid her head back against the cushion, “I didn’t know you had such a hard time.” She replied, watching as he sat down next to her.

“The hardest time,” He said with a laugh, “She does this thing where she flutters her eyes, just like you do.” He raised his eyebrows, giving her a pointed look before he touched her nose gently.

“I see,” She drew out slowly after she pretended to bite his finger, “She’s smart. I can’t take credit for that.” She hummed as she glanced over, watching how Cherry had slowly moved her head onto Pearl’s tummy. At least they were playing nice.

“Like her beautiful mom,” He said seriously as he kissed her cheek, rubbing his palms across her shoulders, “We’re very lucky to have you.” He whispered softly as he moved her hair from her pretty eyes, watching as the green in them slowly took over as the tears filled them. 

“Thank you,” Kim said tearfully, “This is all incredible.” She gestured her palms about. Her voice came out broken as she wiped at her eyes. He chuckled softly as he squeezed at her knee, knowing that her emotions must be everywhere today. 

“No sad.” Cherry appeared suddenly, her eyebrows furrowed together as a concerned look spread over her features. She gripped the sofa, sticking her tongue out in concentration as she pulled herself up. He gripped her sides softly, giving her a little boost as she slid in between him and Kim. 

“I’m not sad,” She said quickly, “This is from me being happy.” She replied with a laugh, thick tears still pouring down her cheeks as she quickly sniffled. She wiped her eyes again, stopping only when Cherry reached up to do it. 

“Why?” The little girl interrogated, eyes filled with curiosity as she leaned a little closer to Kim. Kim reached an arm around her, leaning forward to kiss at her chubby little cheeks. 

“Sometimes I cry when I get happy.” She explained a second later, taking a deep breath to get her emotions under control. He reached around to rub her shoulder softly, hoping to help in some sort of way. 

“Siwwy,” Cherry giggled as she gently brushed her little fingers across Kim’s cheeks, “Smile.” She commanded before she began to tug Kim’s lips up into a grin. Kim laughed as she held onto her wrists, gently trying to get her to stop.

“She is smiling,” Billy laughed as he pulled the toddler onto his lap. Cherry stopped only when he began to tickle her, leaving shrill giggles bubble out from her lips, “Mom asked if we’re still on for dinner this weekend?” He asked as he turned towards Kim, sure that they would be. Unless she got sick again.

“Of course,” She said with a laugh, “I need to call her back. I got busy talking to my mom.” She patted Cherry’s backside playfully, making her burst into giggles once again. He pulled her up straight, kissing her cheek as he noticed the solemn look on Kim’s face. 

“That doesn’t sound good.” He said as Cherry began to play with the necklace around his neck. She hummed to herself as she twisted the chain around with her small fingers. Kim sighed as she crossed her ankles.

“You know how she is,” She shrugged her shoulders, “I don’t know what else to say. Or what we really talked about, honestly.” She shook her head as she pushed her hair behind her ears. It was never really a pleasant conversation with Susan. He supposed it had been like that for a while, back when they first got their apartment. Somehow Susan made it seem like they were choosing Sam, as if her daughters were still young and the divorce was fresh. It was odd. He thought it had more to do with her missing out on being involved with Cherry. They tried to keep certain pictures of Sam and Rosemary hidden when they visited. And Russell. Her vendetta had grown to disliking him too. 

“Sounds rough,” He added, trying not to think about his own issues with Neil. He was just growing sicker, more confused. He was apparently in therapy now, but the nurses had told him that they thought he’d be in a wheelchair permanently before long. And the list of the medications he was on just grew and grew, “I don’t think she’d have a problem if she just moved out here.”

“They like where they’re at, or something like that,” She said with a shrug of her shoulders, not looking very bothered with it, “If she wants to make more of an effort, she can do so.” She said at last, sticking to her ground. He smiled, proud of her. 

-

Kim was due too close to Thanksgiving for him to feel comfortable going anywhere around that time. He had this terrible fear of her going into labor at the worst time, at being at a place that lacked resources for her and their baby. So they had decided to celebrate early, which was fine with everyone involved.

She still looked similar to how she had with Cherry, perhaps her stomach poked out just a bit more. But not by much. He knew that most people were still surprised to know that she was pregnant. He thought it was cute that their babies wanted to hide but he could tell it frustrated her. She wanted to show off her bump.

“Good job,” Rosemary praised as Cherry helped her mash up the potatoes, “You’re a natural at this.” She told her seriously, smiling as Sam took another picture of them. Their walls of pictures had only grown and seemed like they would continue to do so. They adored her just as much. 

“Another cook,” Kim grinned as she munched on her second buttered roll, “I can fully accept that.” She hummed in agreement as she continued to chew on the food, looking quite happy as Cherry happily stabbed at the potatoes.

“Is that Russ?” He asked, resting against the counter as he listened to the door pop over again. They were just doing family this year, as Steve and Gina were trying to pull their own together this year. Or at least trying to make it feel normal for their kids. 

“Yeah,” Rosemary started as she glanced over her shoulder, smiling brightly at him, “He’s bringing a friend.” She added a second later, a knowing look in her eyes. He cocked an eyebrow, curious as to what she meant by that. 

Kim grinned towards him, wobbling over to peek at him as he walked inside. He followed closely behind, eyes narrowed as he began to suspect that Russell was bringing more than a friend over. 

“Whose this?” He had asked, more like demanded as soon as Russell walked through the door with a shorter guy plastered to his side. He had dark hair, soft brown eyes and tawny skin. He was handsome, but was standing far too close to his little brother. 

“This is-,” Russell paused for a long minute, “This is Collin.” He said at last, cheeks turning pink as he introduced the guy next to him. Kim sat up a bit on the couch, grinning as Rosemary waved them in. 

“Pleased to meet you.” He introduced himself, looking rather nervous as he glanced around. Good. Billy thought that he should be nervous. He had never heard about this guy before. Why had he never mentioned having someone before? 

“Oh,” Kim sat up as she rubbed at her belly, “You have an accent. How neat.” She grinned as she waved towards him. Collin quickly nodded his head, sticking a hand out to shake hers. Billy continued to watch suspiciously. 

“I’m from England and moved here not too long ago. You must be Kim,” He said with a smile, nodding his head softly, “It’s nice to finally meet you.” He glanced towards Billy, holding his hand out to which Billy ignored. He did not trust him.

He stopped his attitude as Cherry tugged on his sleeve, her blue eyes littered in curiosity as she held onto him. He gave her a reassuring smile before he picked her up, letting her bury her face into his chest before he went on with the introductions.

“This is Cherry,” Russell smiled as he gave her hand a soft poke, “My awesome niece. And my brother Billy.” He replied a little sternly, giving him a look that he knew too well. He was irritated, but Billy didn’t care. How long had they even been together? 

“Nice to meet you,” He grumbled out a second later as he noticed everyone’s stare resting on him, “C’mon, Cherry. Those potatoes won’t mash themselves.” He said as he carried her back towards the kitchen, not caring if they were done or not. He just wanted to get out of that tight spot.

“You’re worried.” Kim observed as she followed him, resting a hand on her stomach as Cherry showed them how she mashed the potatoes once again. He kissed the top of her head, glad that she was at least excited. “I don’t want him to get hurt.” He said honestly, feeling a little clueless in this situation. Max had known Lucas for so long. He knew what to expect from him. But Collin was a stranger and he knew a very personal truth about Russell. He didn’t want that to turn bad. 

“He won’t,” She said softly, “And if he does, he’ll grow from it. And Collin will always be fearful of us.” She laughed as she spoke, gently taking Cherry into her arms this time. He sighed as he nodded his head, figuring that he might be a little too harsh. He just wanted the best for his younger brother. 

Dinner was nice despite the stranger that sat across from him. It had been a pure accident, but Collin didn’t seem too upset despite Russell trying to switch with him every few minutes. As if Billy was going to kick him underneath the table or some other cruel, hidden action. No. He was just going to stare him down and ask him every little detail about his life. 

“How did you meet this Collin guy?” He asked Russell once Collin had excused himself to look at the many photos that Sam and Rosemary had out. A whole damn library at this point. 

“Billy,” Russell squeaked out, his face burning brightly, “School.” He shook his head, looking a little horrified as he shut down. He had never been comfortable discussing it openly, but Billy was curious. There had to be something wrong with his friend. 

“I see,” He nodded his head, “And what’s his plan with you?” He asked seriously as Cherry bounced on his knee, finishing off a second plate of potatoes. Kim gasped as she looked towards him, shaking her head. 

“Stop talking,” Russell begged, “He’s nice. And he’s my-” He stalled, trailing off like he didn’t know what to say. How to label them. Billy inhaled sharply. 

“Partner,” Kim finished with a nod of her head, “He seems really nice.” She reassured as she grasped Russell’s hand, giving him a reassuring squeeze. Billy sighed as he thought about it. He did want Russell to be happy. He deserved it. 

“I wike.” Cherry asked as she looked back at Billy, blue eyes flashing in adoration already. He scoffed, hoping that Collin didn’t think he was going to move up on her favorites list at any time soon. He was still her favorite, right there with Kim. 

“You only like him because he gave you a piece of candy,” Billy said as he rubbed his cheek against his daughter’s, “Alright. I’ll behave myself.” He said seriously, smiling at the way Russell’s shoulders relaxed a bit. He was an older brother, he had to give him some sort of troubles. 

They retired to the living room a little bit later, Cherry beginning to grow sleepy only to wake up once Rosemary put in one of the tapes at Russell’s last birthday party. She was surely the star of the film, constantly in the frame. But Russell didn’t seem to mind, especially once he pulled her to the floor and began to fake wrestle with her. She loved her uncle a lot. 

“What names do you like for your baby sister?” Sam asked as Cherry snuggled up to him, tired from all of the fighting with Russell. Sam had removed his glasses as she always loved to grab a hold of them and try to wear them. 

“Baby.” She said after a deep sigh, pursing her lips together as her eyelashes fluttered once again. Sam chuckled as he rocked her back and forth. 

“She is a baby,” He said as he nodded his head along, “But what about a name?” He asked again, drawing her attention up towards him as she looked around. She rubbed her tired eyes, yawning widely before she moved on. 

“Nana.” Cherry giggled as she crawled over to Rosemary, hugging her tightly. Rosemary wrapped her arms tightly around her, beginning to rock her back and forth. Cherry’s head dropped, nestled into her chest as she slipped into her first nap of the day. 

“Rosemary does have a nice ring to it,” She teased, “What have you guys decided on?” She asked more seriously, sending Billy a sly look. He knew that she was thinking about how Cherry’s name had been decided. They were better prepared this time. 

“Just the middle name so far,” Kim admitted, “Maxine. For Max.” She nodded her head, looking like she was seconds away from drifting off too. 

“She’ll love that.” Russell snorted, still on the floor as he bounced one of Cherry’s toys back and forth in his hand. Collin was resting next to him, chin resting on his hands and a curious expression on his features. Like he wasn’t exactly sure of who they were referencing. 

“We were thinking about Eleanor or maybe Maggie. We liked Nora again too.” Billy spoke up as he brushed his fingers over Kim’s little bump. He stalled for a second, smiling at the little foot that connected with his palm. Their baby was awake too. 

“Eleanor just has a nice ring to it.” Kim nodded her head as she thought about it, pressing her lips together. Billy sighed softly in relief, just glad that it was something a little normal. 

“Then she can have a lot of nicknames,” Russell said urgently, “El. Ella, Nellie, uh -,” He began to list the names off on his fingers, recounting them before he came to a pause. 

“I think you could use Nora as a nickname too.” Collin spoke up a second later, nodding his head as if he was deep in thought. Billy watched them for a moment, deciding that he couldn’t be too bad. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Russell smiled as he looked at Collin, “What he said.” 

-

Eleanor Maxine Hargrove was born on November 28th at 11:27 A.M. She was a screamer, her face bright red and fists clenched tightly when she came into the world. Her hair was blonde, soft and barely there. Still curly though.

She had Billy’s nose once again, but her eyes were darker. It made Kim wonder if they would be hazel like hers. She was just as beautiful as Cherry though, just a smidge bigger than what her sister had been. 

“Look,” Max held Cherry in her arms, pointing down at where Eleanor was resting in Kim’s arms, “That’s your little sister.” She directed her attention back to Eleanor, although she seemed to be less than interested.

“Ute,” Cherry agreed with a nod of her head, bearing Kim’s same smile, “Daddy, up!” Cherry reached for Billy after a half second. He took her with a grin, then pressed his lips against her chubby cheek before she rested her head on his shoulder.

“Cheater,” Max muttered underneath her breath, shooting Cherry a playful look, “That’s no fair. You see him and the time and you still pick him over your cool auntie.” Billy grinned widely, meeting Cherry’s eyes as she erupted into giggles. Kim’s heart warmed as she glanced back down at the sleeping baby in her arms. 

Eleanor was a few pounds heavier and longer than Cherry had been. She still had the same chubby cheeks, pouty lips and Billy’s nose. Eleanor’s hair seemed lighter, more blonde than her sister’s. Her eyes were darker, more brown than blue. 

“Just think,” Susan teased her softly, “You could have your own one day.” Max scoffed, looking down at Eleanor in disbelief. Her features wrinkled up, looking like she wanted anything other than that. They had planned accordingly this time, making sure that they could visit when Kim was in the hospital. 

“Mom, you already have a grandchild from Lucas and I,” Max rolled her eyes slowly as she turned back towards Susan’s playful features, “His name is boots.” She said with a smirk, looking quite proud of her statement.

“He’s a snake.” Susan shook her head, sighing in disbelief. Kim was sure that this was something that they argued about quite a bit. 

“He’s all you’re going to get,” Max laughed, grinning from ear to ear, “Boots is very well trained, he doesn’t fuss or cry.” Kim smiled softly as she listened to Max talk. Max had once tried to get her to hold him, but Kim had still been too fearful. However, Cherry liked to poke and prod at him occasionally. 

“Tell Aunt Max you want a cousin,” Billy grinned towards Max teasingly, gently rocking Cherry back and forth as he kissed her cheek, “They need someone to play with.” Cherry’s blue eyes lit up at the mention of playing with someone. She enjoyed her playdates with the Harrington’s and Kim was sure that the prospect of having someone to play with was why she was so excited for a little sister. 

“Yeah!” She bounced in Billy’s arms in excitement, “Play!” She squealed happily, her grin wide as she held onto him tightly. Kim still couldn’t believe that she was two. 

“When I can trust her to not spin Boots around then they can play,” Max paused for a moment, “Or eat him.” She wrinkled her nose up, looking like she was deep in thought. 

“Hi,” Rosemary poked her head in, bearing a grin and large balloons as Sam shuffled in behind her, “We came to see the new baby.” Russell poked his head through next, earning a loud cry from Cherry as she wiggled her way out of Billy’s arms and made her way to her favorite uncle. Russell certainly had the energy of a toddler still. 

“Well you know Kim did just give birth,” Susan nodded her head, “She’s doing really well though, thank you for asking.” She smiled tightly, looking irritated as she spoke. Kim rolled her eyes, knowing that Rosemary didn’t mean it in that way. 

“Mom,” Kim sighed exasperated as she turned towards her, “It’s fine.” She told her quickly, not wanting to fight when they were happy to have another baby. Sam came over first, bending over to kiss the top of Kim’s head.

“You did good,” He smiled big as he pulled away, “Was it as bad this time?” He asked her softly, tucking her hair behind her ear. She had slowly grown used to everyone doing that for her. It was nice. 

“It was easier I think,” She paused as she looked towards Billy for confirmation, “You didn’t have to bring anything.” She said a second later, feeling like they already did enough for them. Plus, she didn’t want Susan to say anything about it either. She would be nitpicky for sure. 

“Well we wanted to,” He smiled as he pulled a chair up towards her, “And I thought you might be hungry.” He replied as he secretly pulled out a bag of food. She sat up, more motivated this time around. 

“Oh thank you,” She breathed out as the smell of the greasy cheeseburger hit her, “Trade me.” She said quickly, sure that her stomach was rumbling as she began to pull the burger free. She motioned Billy over, watching to share it with him. 

“Eleanor is such a cute name,” Rosemary said sweetly as she began to brush her fingers through Kim’s hair, “I was kind of hoping for Lemon though.” She said playfully, a knowing smile on her lips. 

“That’s not funny,” Billy spoke up as he pulled himself away from his conversation with Max and accepted half of the burger, “No more babies named after fruits. Or vegetables.” He said seriously, grinning as he bent down to kiss Kim’s cheek. She smiled bashfully, but was pretty proud with how cute Cherry’s name was. 

-

“Oh wow,” Susan looked around, an impressed look wrote over her features, “You've done some touch ups.” She said as she moved slowly, taking in each little thing. Billy liked to work, enjoyed tearing things down and putting them back up. Kim didn’t mind at all. She got a nice view out of it. 

“We did this summer,” She nodded her head as she rubbed at her sore abdomen, “We wanted the kitchen a little bigger and more of a deck outside.” She explained as she watched Billy show the house off to Eleanor on the opposite side of the house. 

“There’s so many pictures.” Susan said breathlessly, taking Kim a little by surprise. She looked like she hadn’t been expecting it, almost like she thought they’d be ashamed. They weren’t. 

“And videos,” Kim interjected quickly, “Billy loves to record Cherry. I can get them out so you can watch them.” She said with a smile, bending down to greet the two cats that ran up to her. They were so sweet. 

“Do the cats bother them?” Her mom asked a minute later, drawing Kim’s pets to a halt. She furrowed her eyebrows together, never even considering that Dove and Pearl may do such a thing. Cherry loved them and she was sure Eleanor would too. 

“Oh no,” Kim shook her head to dismiss that question, “They did so good with Cherry. They’re just curious is all.” She nodded her head, thinking about how they’d probably sniff at Eleanor for the next few months. Then hide when she started to grasp things. 

“Mama,” Cherry raced forward, tongue sticking out as she came to an abrupt stop against Kim’s leg, “Nana tay wiff me?” She asked excitedly, bouncing on the tips of her toes. At least she was excited. Kim had been worried about Susan staying over, but it would only be for a week. Max was staying with Sam and Rosemary. 

“She’s going to stay in the room next door,” Kim smiled as she tapped the top of Cherry’s head, “Why don’t you go show her the room? I’ll get the video tapes out.” She encouraged as she waved her daughter along, letting her drag Susan away. 

She moved towards their little collection, taking free the tapes and searching for which one Susan would like to see most. There were big events, but also random afternoons and quick updates from her. It was a hard decision. 

“What are you doing?” Billy hummed as he approached, a kind smile in his eyes as he continued to bounce their new baby in his arms. 

“I was going to show them to mom,” She explained, grinning at the way he was holding Eleanor to his chest, “How are you holding up?” She asked him as she touched the back of her head, giving her a little kiss to her cheek. 

“So far so good,” He chuckled as he rocked her back and forth in his arms, “I think Cherry still thinks she’s a doll.” He said in amusement, probably referencing how she’d tried to give her one of her baby doll’s fake bottles. 

“At least she’s excited,” She hummed as she pulled all the tapes free, “Maybe it’s a good sign.” She said with a smile, sure that it had to be. Their girls were going to get along. 

“We can only hope so.” 

-

Eleanor cried a lot. She was a lot different from Cherry, that was for sure. They were awake every two hours and as badly as Kim wanted to take turns, most of the time she wanted to feed. To make matters worse, she was picky. Eleanor only wanted breast milk and refused the nipple from the bottle. 

“I can just pull your boob out,” Billy reasoned, his voice husky and gravely from the early hours of the morning, “You wouldn’t have to get up each time.” He hummed as he buried his cheek into the pillow, sighing deeply with her. 

“Yes,” Kim grinned at him, her eyes feeling heavy as she held onto Eleanor, “Because someone grabbing my boob won’t wake me up.” She told him with a laugh, looking down at the baby that was attached to her. 

“Why don’t we try the bottle again?” He asked as he opened his eyes once again, looking at her curiously. She appreciated him wanting to do so much, for trying to be as helpful as he could. 

“She won’t take the nipple on the bottle,” Kim rocked her gently, liking the relaxed features that were growing on Eleanor’s face, “She’s fussy.” She said, sure that she had colic from her conversation with Rosemary.

“I can’t blame her,” Billy laughed as Kim gently shoved his face away, “You’ve got nice boobs.” He teased her with a smile, reaching forward to squeeze her knee. She grumbled. 

“You’re funny,” She replied as she shook her head, laughing softly, “She’s so cute. We make really cute babies.” She said a second later, smiling as she continued to rock the little girl. Eleanor’s eyes kept fluttering open and shut, but she was fighting sleep off for whatever reason. 

“We do,” He hummed as he rested his cheek against hers, “That’s all you.” He told her seriously, smiling as he kissed her chin. She was the cute one. 

“Us,” She corrected him, “They both look a little bit like us.” Kim continued on as she traced her finger over Eleanor’s soft cheek. The newborn tiredly blinked her eyes, drawing her attention to them for just a short second before she shut her eyelids again. 

“Cherry is your twin,” He said with a nod of his head, “Except for the nose.” He said with a laugh, glad that his nose was at least getting passed down. They’d all look similar. 

“They both have your nose,” Kim commented after trailing over Eleanor’s nose for the hundredth time. She kept grinning, her little hands placed together, “I think she looks more like you.” She told him a second later, taking him by surprise. He wasn’t so sure about that. 

“Hm,” Billy hummed softly, “She has your eyes.” He told her as he looked at Eleanor’s soft eyelashes once again. She would have big hazel eyes, just like her mama. It was fitting. Her and Cherry would be opposites. 

“Two little babies,” She whispered in agreement, “Our hands are going to be full.” She grinned happily, looking overjoyed once again. “They already are,” He laughed softly, “At least Max and Susan will be here for a little bit.” He said softly as he rested against her. They’d have some help until they got fully adjusted one again. 

“Rosemary said she’d stop by too,” She nodded her head, “But I think it’ll be okay. Cherry doesn’t seem upset about having a sister, so that’s good at least.” She spoke encouragements to him, making him nod along in agreement. Eleanor began to coo, signaling that she was finally asleep. 

“A start,” He agreed, “Alright, come on. Let me get her in the bassinet.” He spoke up as he held his arms out, reaching for the infant so he could carry her to the little crib next to them. It was just easier to get to her that way. It was then that Kim noticed the open door and the little girl that rushed inside. 

“What are you doing here?” Kim asked with a laugh, watching as Cherry waddled in with messy hair and a baby doll hanging on her hip. She looked as if she had been up half the night with a baby as well. 

“Sweeping.” Cherry commented as she strolled up to the bed, popping her baby down first before she tried to pull herself up. It was just slightly too big.

“In here again?” Billy asked with a hand on his hip, looking amused as she continued to grip the bed and bounce on the tips of her toes. Kim grinned at the sassy way Cherry turned towards him. 

“Yep.”

“Alright,” Billy sighed as he picked her up, “But mommy’s sore, so be careful.” He told her softly, kissing her head before he plopped her gently onto the bed. She crawled over, grinning widely as she dragged her baby along with her. 

“Always.” She said firmly as she cuddled up to Kim’s side, resting her head on her chest. Kim melted against her, rubbing on her back before she kissed the top of her head. She was the sweetest little thing. 

“Love you.” Kim told them softly, sighing deeply once Billy snuggled himself into the bed. He stretched out before he covered himself up once again. 

“Love you too.” He whispered softly as he rested his head against the nice pillows. Cherry giggled, sinking herself closer to Kim. 

“Me mowe!” She reminded both of them, eyes bright and full of nightime stars. At least it wouldn’t take her long to fall asleep. Their little family felt just perfect at this moment. 

-

“Mama,” Cherry slid off of Russell’s lap to deliver her baby doll to Kim, “Hewe.” She said cheerily, watching to make sure Kim was holding the doll before she was wobbling away again.

“What’s that for?” He asked as he tilted his head, his long hair tied back out of his face as he held his arms out for Cherry to crawl back into. He had spent the last week meeting Collin’s family and had done nothing but complain about how gloomy the weather was over there. 

“It’s a new thing,” Kim smiled softly, “She thinks her dolly is hungry when Eleanor is.” She responded, ensuring that Eleanor was covered up before she pretended to nurse Cherry’s doll. Susan and Max had left yesterday morning, leaving more pleasantly than Kim thought Susan would. 

“Oh, I see,” Russell grinned as he picked up Cherry again, “You already have a baby?” He teased her as he wiggled his chin into the crook of her neck to get her to giggle.

“Yeah,” Cherry giggled as Russell rocked her back and forth, “Babies cute!” She exclaimed excitedly, grinning as Eleanor began to whine once again. Kim sighed as she started to rock her again, trying to get her to calm down before she got out of control again. 

“Yeah they are,” Russell grinned as he tickled at her sides, “And yummy to eat!” He teased, earning a shrill squeal from her lips. Eleanor pulled away this time, little fists clenched against her reddened cheeks as she began to shriek. Poor baby. 

“Oh no,” Kim responded as she held Eleanor up, rocking her back and forth as she patted at her back, “S’alright. You’re okay.” She cooed as she kissed at her cheeks, trying to get her calmed down once again. Meal times were always the worst for her. 

“Loud,” Cherry commented with her little hands over her ears, “Shh baby. You too loud.” She replied with a disgruntled look on her features. She had been interested in her little sister up until she started sobbing. Then she wanted nothing to do with her. 

“Are,” Sam corrected her quickly, “It’s okay, babies like to cry.” He confirmed as he nodded his head, giving Eleanor a little reassuring pat. Sadly, it did not solve the way she continued to fuss. 

“A lot.” Cherry said, giving Eleanor a sideways glance before she crawled back onto Russell’s lap. Russell seemed to match her energy fairly well, always spending the afternoons chasing after her. She adored her uncle, which was part of the reason Susan had been so bitter while there. She kept pushing Cherry off to Max everytime she brought up Russie. 

“She’ll get better,” Rosemary promised as she kissed the top of Cherry’s head as she walked by, “You’ll have a lot of time to play later on.” She promised as Eleanor continued to wail, her eyes squinting shut and her nose scrunched up in anger. It made Kim nervous, seeing how harshly she sobbed. 

“Play?” Cherry asked Russell, smiling brightly as Kim continued to calm Eleanor down. She bounced her around, rocked her and switched positions to try and get her relaxed once again. Steve had already told them this was karma for making fun of Jennifer when she was a baby. 

“Come on, squirt,” He teased as he picked her up, “You need to come run some laps outside.” He held her upside down carefully, giving her a little bounce as she squealed in fascination.

“Careful!” Sam shouted after them, looking worried as Russell grumbled back in response. He had always been really gentle with Cherry, just full of energy still. 

“I can take her for a while,” Rosemary offered, “I know it’s hard now, but it’ll get better.” She told her softly as Kim passed Eleanor into her arms. She nodded her head as she fretted with her hair, wishing that things would get better soon. She hated seeing her baby cry.

“I know,” She frowned as Eleanor continued to fuss, refusing even the pacifier as Rosemary rocked her back and forth, “I just wish I knew what she needed.” She admitted, eyebrows furrowing together as she wondered what her poor baby wanted.

“Some babies are just fussy,” She hummed as she kissed Eleanor’s cheek, “It’ll be okay though. We’re here to help too. Whenever you need a break, don’t be afraid to ask.” She told Kim sternly.

-

He had taken to practicing more breathing exercises, more ways to relax for when he got frustrated. He hadn’t been this way in some time. It wasn’t her fault, but Eleanor was a lot. She was certainly colicky; cried long hours during the night and day. In fact, he was sure that she didn’t ever stop crying. 

He felt guilty because it would make his hands shake. It would be so bad that at times it looked like he was shivering and she would just keep wailing. Nothing worked. Not food, not rocking her, singing lullabies or tracing her face. She still cried.

“Hey, hey I got her.” Kim approached a moment later, hair still damp from the shower she had literally hopped into. They didn’t get much done without the sound of crying filling the whole house. Even the cats were irritated. 

“It’s my turn,” He mumbled softly, “You’ve been with her all day.” He told her seriously, hating that it seemed like she never got a break. He knew that their parents were over quite a bit, but it still wasn’t fair. 

“I know,” She told him gently, “But you need a break too. Come on. Cherry, can you go get daddy a can of soda?” She asked sweetly as she kissed Cherry’s head. She stood, reaching for the crying infant as he slowly gave in. He hated feeling like he couldn’t do it. All of his baby tricks with Jennifer didn’t work on Eleanor. 

He shook his hands as he walked out of the room, taking large breaths as he tried to keep his heartbeat steady. He didn’t know how a baby could cry for so long, for so hard. It made him feel terrible. He couldn’t figure out what he was doing wrong. 

“Hewe,” Cherry held the can out towards him, blinking her large blue eyes at him, “Daddy sad?” She asked slowly, pouting out her own lips as he plopped down onto the couch. 

“Just frustrated, baby.” He hummed as he pulled her onto his lap. He felt guilty, worried that he would accidentally show favoritism when he didn’t mean to. He loved both of his daughters equally, even if the other was whiny. It wasn’t Eleanor’s fault.

“Big wowd,” She said as she furrowed her eyebrows so tightly together, making him chuckle despite his sour mood, “What dat?” She questioned him as he took a few large gulps from the soda. He passed it off to her next, holding onto the back of it gently so she could have a sip. 

“It just means that I feel bad,” He explained softly, “I want Eleanor to be happy but I don’t know how.” He told her as he rested his cheek against the top of her head. He held onto the can once again, afraid that she might drop it. 

“Babies cwy,” She reminded him, holding her little hands out towards his can so she could have another sip. He shook his head, but helped her take a little drink from it, “Kitties make me happy.” She suggested as she pointed as Pearl ran by, closely followed by Dove. 

“I think your little sister is still too little to play with them.” He told her softly, wishing that was the correct answer. He didn’t know what they were supposed to do. Everyone said it was normal, but he felt otherwise. 

“Babies stink.” Cherry commented as she wiped the leftover bubbles from her lips. She wiggled her nose, giggling softly as she leaned against him. 

“No they don’t,” He chuckled as he kissed her cheek, rocking her gently, “You’re both so sweet.” He told her seriously, hoping that this wouldn’t put a strain on their relationship. Surely not. Cherry was too nice to hold a grudge. 

“Tank you,” She giggled as she held onto him tightly, “But she cry a lot!” She proclaimed, blue eyes wide in disbelief. He kissed her little nose, enjoying the little freckles that were beginning to sprout out on her skin. 

“Let’s go check on mommy,” He said as he sat the can down, then lifted her into the air, “Did you help her out today?” He asked as he made his way down the hallway, watching her nod her head from the corner of his eye.

“Mhm,” She proclaimed proudly, “I got mama a soda too.” She giggled as she brought her thumb up to her lips, sucking on it softly. He nodded his head, walking into the semi quiet room. There was some whimpering, but that was better than the screaming. 

“Did she calm down a bit?” He whispered from the doorway, afraid to walk in and disturb the peace. Cherry kept her head on his shoulder, watching curiously. 

“Somewhat,” Kim replied as she smiled tiredly at him, “Poor thing gets so fussy sometimes.” She hummed as she bent over, kissing Eleanor’s little head gently. She took two slow steps back, hands up in worry. 

“I don’t know what to do when she’s like that.” He admitted once they were out of the room, feeling terrible. She sighed as she touched his cheek gently. 

“I know,” She said as she nodded her head in agreement. She wrapped her arms around his waist, hugging him tightly, “I had your mom over earlier.” She told him as she closed her eyes, breathing in deeply against his chest. Cherry patted the back of her head, slightly too hard. 

“She’d rather be here than baking cakes anyways.” He chuckled as he held onto her. Cherry giggled as she began to tug her fingers through Kim’s wet hair, looking amused at the way the strands coiled around her fingers. 

Dinner was smooth for the most part. Eleanor woke up to eat again and was fine up until an hour later. Then she sobbed. She cried. She wailed and screamed until the moon was high in the air and the sky was dark. There was no doubt in his mind that something was hurting her tummy. It had to be something like that. 

“That’s it,” He told her as he shook his head, unable to bear another second of her crying, “The crying stops now.” He told her as he gently placed her into her baby carrier, no longer caring about his pride or guilt. He needed help and it was okay to ask for help.

Kim was still half asleep with Cherry tucked underneath her arm on the couch. She sat up a bit, blinking hazily before she collapsed into the pillow again. He felt bad as he thought about how she dealt with this all day.

He walked out to the Camaro, taking deep breaths as he pulled the seat forward and latched Eleanor into the back. He was sure that there was plenty of breastmilk in the bag for her to stay with Rosemary for a few hours. It was fine.

He hopped into the front seat, reaching for a cigarette before he began to back out of the driveway. Only to stop. Silent. It was suddenly quiet. 

“Oh,” He turned to look back at her, watching for the first time as a smile spread on her little lips, “Don’t tell me that a simple car ride solves the issue.” He shook his head, confirming his thought as he reversed the rest of the way out. 

She sighed deeply, stretching her little limbs out before she nestled into her seat. He glanced back at her for another second before he shook his head, listening to her soft coos filling the area. 

“Of fucking course,” He mumbled to himself as he rolle the window down, ensuring that the wind was blowing away from her direction before he lit up his cigarette, “Driving helps me think too.” He told her softly, deciding that maybe they just both needed to get away and think for a while.

An hour later she was passed out, not flinching or moving even when he pulled her out of the car. He had never felt so successful before. 

“Where did you go?” Kim asked groggily as she sat up, rubbing at her eyes as Cherry was fully on top of her this time. Her little mouth was open, her limbs spread as she clung to her mom. 

“Car ride,” He whispered softly, “I think we should invest in a swing.”

-

“What about this one?” Kim asked as they made another loop through the parking lot, her feet aching at how many times they’d been around the same few cars. 

“No way,” Billy said with a shake of his head, “I’m not driving around in that thing.” He wrinkled up his nose, eyebrows furrowing together as he looked at the van in front of them in disgust. 

“No cool.” Cherry said as she held onto him, nodding her head sternly. Billy glanced towards her, smiling brightly at her suggestion.

“Exactly,” He replied as he nodded along, “Not cool at all.” He said with a laugh, sighing as they walked back towards the benches again. She definitely needed to sit down. She was still a little sore and the sun was just a little too hot, even for the cool months. 

“We’re going to be here all day.” Kim replied enthusiastically as she picked Eleanor up. She was beginning to fuss again. The only time that she seemed to not cry was when she was in the car and it was moving. She liked car rides. Which had brought them here. They needed another vehicle, something that could carry all of them comfortably. 

Billy was very, very picky. Nothing had caught his eye thus far. And this had been the second dealership that they’d been to. Kim was beginning to feel like it was hopeless. 

“Not all day,” He mumbled as he balanced Cherry in his arms, “Just until I find something I like.” He nodded his head along, like it was a simple statement. She bit back a laugh, adjusting her shirt as Eleanor moved forward to latch onto her once again. 

“Maybe you two should take another look,” She suggested as she covered herself up, “There has to be something that you’d like.” She told him seriously. He was still going to be using the Camaro for the most part, they just needed the van when they did things together. 

She watched in humor as they passed by her another two times as she nursed and then burped Eleanor. They had learned that after she ate she preferred to stay on her stomach, which kept her from screaming as much. 

Billy had finally picked one. Kim wasn’t sure what the brand or make was, but she did know that it was blue and had seven seats. More than enough for all of them. Billy grumbled about it, but agreed it was the best looking one out of their options. 

“Shit,” Billy sighed as he turned towards her, “You’re going to have to drive one.” He said in horror, eyes wide as she smiled sheepishly at him. To be fair, she hadn’t really driven in some time. Barely at all. He had sort of become her driver. 

“I figured that was the plan.” She told him with a laugh, unsure of how he had forgotten about that small detail. He brushed his fingers through his hair, lips parted in shock. 

“I did not think about it,” He sighed as he rested his hands on his hips, looking like he was debating on which one he wanted her to drive, “Fuck.” He shook his head, pacing for a moment as she rolled her eyes. It wouldn't be that bad. 

“I dwive.” Cherry offered as she held her hand up, grinning brightly as Kim laughed at her statement. If only that could happen. 

“Oh can you?” He laughed as he playfully picked her up, kissing her cheek softly, “You can’t even reach the pedals.” He said as he tickled her sides, leaving her squirming and giggling in his arms. 

“I’m probably better with the Camaro,” She admitted as she held her hand out, “Don’t worry, I won’t speed.” 

-

Pregnancy brain had been a real thing for her. It had been even worse after the girls were gone as between the busy schedule, lack of sleep and trying to soothe them had made her feel like her head was completely detached. But she swore up and down that she had just placed the milk that she had pumped into the fridge. Yet it wasn’t there.

She searched the kitchen counters, into the living room and dining room. She even crawled around on the floor to ensure that she hadn’t dropped it anywhere. Gone. Vanished without a trace. She rested her hands over her chest next, mentally recalling that she had pumped. But where was it?

“Billy,” Kim walked back into the nursery, looking at him in confusion, “Did you put the milk somewhere?” She asked, feeling like she was losing her mind. She swore that she had just seen it. 

“What milk?” He asked softly, holding a napping Cherry in his arms as he peered down at Eleanor’s sleeping form. Tommy was looking down too, a soft smile on his lips. He spent a lot of free time over here when he could. Billy looked up curiously, a proud expression on his features.

“My breast milk,” She looked over her shoulder, glancing down towards the kitchen again, “I had it in a jar in the fridge but now it’s not there?” She asked him, wondering if he had accidentally moved it somewhere else. She had put it in there for only a second so she could locate her normal containers that she stored them in. Billy knitted his eyebrows in confusion, parting his lips to begin to speak. 

“Oh shit,” Tommy straightened up, a bashful look on his face, “I fucking thought it was my glass you put up earlier.” He rubbed his hands across his lips, looking horrified as the thought settled in the room. Billy looked towards him in horror. 

“Oh my god,” She was giggling as she covered her mouth, trying to keep from snorting, “Did you drink my daughters breast milk?” She squinted her eyes towards him, pretending to drill him for more information. He groaned deeply, his cheeks burning from embarrassment. 

“I thought it was like goat milk or something.” He said quickly, holding his hands up as he glanced towards Billy in worry. Kim continued to laugh, thinking that it was the funniest thing that had happened all day. 

“Dude,” Billy was shaking his head, looking at him incredulously, “Why?” He asked simply, like there was some grand answer for why Tommy did the things that he did. Tommy looked towards him in disbelief, his blush rushing down his neck. 

“If I knew it was her fuc- freaking titty milk I wouldn’t have drank it,” Tommy commented as he glanced towards where Cherry was beginning to stir, “Obviously I didn’t know.” He said dramatically, looking a little disgusted from his actions. Kim snorted this time, rolling her eyes softly.

“Just don’t get used to drinking it,” Kim said at last, “I’m going to try and pump again.” She held her hands out before she crossed her arms over her chest, shaking her head at how Tommy of all people knew what her breast milk tasted like. And he had drank all of it. 

“I’m really sorry!” He said then paused as he turned towards Billy, “It wasn’t that bad.” He admitted with a shrug of his shoulders. Billy’s draw dropped, his eyes filling with fury. 

“Don’t,” He warned with a stern tone, “I will knock you out.”

-

“This looks a little better,” Kim hummed as she held up the not so messily wrapped gift, “Maybe we’re getting good at this.” He chuckled as he watched her, deciding that hers was better looking than his. It had been a busy few weeks, that was for sure. 

“Gift bags,” He mumbled as he tried to tape down the edges once again, “We need to invest in gift bags.” He told her seriously, annoyed at how the paper wouldn’t work with him. He couldn’t even pull it back, for it would tear the paper away. 

“Where’s the fun in that?” She asked him seriously, huffing to blow her hair out of her eyes. She had recently gotten bangs, which were slightly grown out since she hadn’t been to the salon in a while. Hopefully she could soon. 

“A giant sack then,” He proposed, “You could crochet it and we can just shove everything inside.” He laughed as he thought about it, even though it was a good idea. And it followed the design that Santa had. 

“That’s-,” She paused as she thought about it, “Pretty tempting.” She admitted as she pulled her lips into a soft frown, then laughed as she finished up the present she was working on. 

“See,” He laughed as he held his up, raising his eyebrows as she softly clapped her hands. It felt a lot riskier staying up to wrap presents than it had the year previously. Cherry now fully understood about Santa, “Pearl, away with you.” He grumbled as he tried to swat away the cat. She had an unhealthy obsession with trying to eat the paper.

“Hey,” Kim cooed as she picked the eldest cat up, giving her a brief kiss on her cheek, “Don’t worry. You’ll get presents too.” She hummed as she set her down, then wiped at her mouth.

“Hair?” He cocked his eyebrows as he looked at her, smirking at the way she blushed. Pearl was terrible at shedding. 

“Yeah,” She whined as she picked at her tongue before she got it, “Gross. I’m excited to see how Cherry will be this year.” She added a second later, brushing her hands against her pajama bottoms. 

“Too excited,” He said as he glanced over towards where he’d placed the video camera, reminding himself that he’d already replaced it with new batteries, “She was laying with Eleanor on the play mat yesterday.”

“She seems to like doing that now,” She told him with a nod of her head, “She’s a good big sister.” She smiled brightly, making him agree with her. He had a feeling that Cherry was a lot like she was at this age. 

“Just like you do.” He told her as he nudged their shoulders together. She shook her head, but paused for a moment as she thought about it. 

“Max did cry a lot,” Kim pointed out as she continued to write a little note out, pretending to be Santa, “You know, I’m really seeing the similarities now that you mention it.” She sat up a little straighter, grinning as she fixed everything together. 

“We shouldn’t have named her after your sister,” He said with a laugh, then paused, “Our sister.” He clarified as he shook his head, shivering a little bit. It was still odd to wrap his head around all of that. 

“Good thing the kids are too young to understand that.” She giggled softly, making his lips melt into the softest smile. One day they would ask, but they could worry about that then. 

“This will be a busy time of year,” He told her as he glanced up to her, “Don’t forget, Jennifer and Paisley will have birthdays next month.” He mentioned as he thought about the upcoming dates. Max’s would follow after that. 

“And we get to practice our wrapping skills even more,” She replied joyfully as she placed the paper back into the bucket, “I’m very excited for that.”

1995

Paisley’s birthday party was more tense than the previous years. At five years old she still took after her daddy, although Kim thought that she was starting to develop a collection of freckles across her cheeks. 

Jennifer had sprouted. At eight years old she stood proudly with messy hair and reddened cheeks. She still went to Billy first any time they had get togethers and would excitedly call him her uncle, much to Tommy’s annoyance.

“I hope this is fine,” Steve mumbled as he pushed his hair from his face, “She really loves Chuck e Cheese.” 

“They look like they’re having a blast,” Kim grinned, watching the way the three girls played around each other. Cherry moved a little slower, her legs still shorter than the other two but her grin just as bright as the other children, “How have you been?”

“Oh, you know,” Steve mumbled as he waved his hand in the air, “Weird. You know we sold this house and stuff. I got a nice four bedroom place, I let them pick their rooms out.” Robin had told Kim that she was officially moving into the spare bedroom with them, as Steve had apparently been struggling with this new adjustment. She felt bad. 

“You have them the majority of the time, right?” She asked softly, still unsure of what she needed to tiptoe around. Gina told her most things, but sometimes with Steve it was different. He had taken the blow a lot harder than she had. 

“Yeah,” He nodded his head in agreement, “It was just easier that way. They both go to the same school I teach at so, yeah.” He shrugged his shoulders, rubbing the back of his head as he watched the kids race by again. 

“You’re for sure done?” She asked him softly as she rubbed her palm over her elbow. Steve turned towards her, smiling stiffly before he nodded his head. 

“We just don’t want the same things,” He responded slowly, “I don’t think the girls fully understand what happened, but maybe that’s better.” He exhaled roughly, waving as Paisley stuck her head out to smile at him. 

“You’re all always welcomed over if you need anything,” Kim told him gently, “I bet the girls would like a sleepover.” She suggested, turning to look at Billy as he snorted softly. He rested Eleanor back in his arms, then took off the burp rag.

“That would be fun,” Steve paused for a moment, “Can I?” He grinned as he motioned towards Eleanor, holding his hands out in excitement. He was just as bad as Billy, always hogging the babies. 

“I guess,” Billy mumbled as he passed her over, “She gets fussy after she eats.” He told him seriously, like he was seconds away from recounting their schedule to him. She shook her head. 

“Jennifer was like that too,” Steve remarked, cooing as he looked down at Eleanor, “You’re a cutie, you know that?” He smiled as she looked up at him, brown eyes wide in curiosity. 

“He’s gonna steal her.” Billy grumbled, narrowing his eyes as he watched Steve walk away with their baby. She laughed as she joined him at the table, only to be tugged onto his lap a second later.

“He’ll probably use her to make an impression on some poor lady,” Tommy remarked as he returned, his face flushed from chasing the girls around, “They like that, surprisingly.” 

“Does that work on Alma?” Billy smirked as he turned towards him, eyebrows raised in humor. Tommy scoffed as he flushed for a brief second. 

“Ha,” Tommy grinned as he looked back towards her, “That’s my lady. We all know that.” He nodded his head with a grin, briefly meeting Alma’s eyes. Kim grinned at them. 

“And you’re going to ask her out any time, right?” Billy asked dryly, looking bored as he rubbed at Kim’s hips. She liked when he rubbed her back. It always felt nice, especially after giving birth. 

“Mind your own business,” Tommy scoffed as he shook his head, “I swear. You two get married and then you’re all up in my dating life.” He shook his head as he brought another slice of pizza up to his mouth, looking nervous suddenly. 

“Not much to be up into.” Billy mumbled, snorting softly as Kim nudged him softly. He was a brat sometimes, but he wasn’t wrong either. She looked around again, spotting a Gina and a chance to speak to her.

“How are you?” She asked as she approached, smiling as she held her hands together. Gina looked good. Really good. Her hair was still blonde and it appeared that she had just gotten a fresh perm. Her makeup was nice and her dress sleek against her body. 

“Good, really good,” Gina smiled brightly, “I’m glad I get to work now. It’s nice. I feel a lot better.” She admitted as she looked around, waving as the girls rushed by them once again. 

“That’s good,” Kim agreed with her softly, “We were talking about maybe having the girls over for a sleepover.” She told her as she sat next to her, wondering how Gina felt about that. Usually she was a little bit easier going. At least she had been since the divorce. 

“Oh, how fun,” Gina laughed, “I’m sure they’d like that a lot.” She laughed as she rested her chin on her fingers, watching in amusement as Jennifer began to make silly faces at her. 

“Next weekend?” She suggested with a tilt of her head. Eleanor couldn’t really enjoy it yet, but Cherry really would. A lot. 

“Your place?” Gina asked, “I’m sure Steve wouldn’t mind that.” She nodded her head, brown eyes sparkling softly. 

“You guys talk alright then?” She broke the comfortable silence a second later, raising her eyebrows in confusion. She felt bad for both of them, wishing they could’ve worked things out. 

“Yeah,” She nodded her head slowly, “Sometimes we- you know.” Gina laughed as she shrugged her shoulders, her cheeks tinting to a soft pink. 

“Oh, so you’re-?” Kim began to suggest, trying to figure out what their relationship consisted of.

“No,” She shook her head, “That won’t happen. I guess just because we’re comfortable with one another.” Gina rubbed at her chin, furrowing her eyebrows together like she wasn’t for sure about the extent of their relationship either. 

“Maybe there’s still hope.” Kim smiled softly, wondering if that’s what Gina wanted. She was sure that Steve would get back to her at the given chance. He wasn’t good at being alone. 

“I don’t think I want to get back with him like that,” She admitted, “We just weren’t meant to be.” She sighed as she looked away, but didn’t look disappointed. Kim supposed that was good, even if it wasn’t how anyone thought they would end up. 

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” She shook her head, “I’m happy. He’s happy and our girls are happy. That’s all that matters.” 

-

Max married Lucas in late March of that year. In San Diego the sun was bright and warm, the air smelling of spring and soon to be summer days. In Hawkins it was the opposite. There was still snow on the ground and the air was chilly when they arrived. 

“This place still sucks,” Billy commented, glancing around as they appeared in front of Max’s house, “Hm. Not bad.” He said as he scanned his eyes over the house. It really wasn’t too terrible. A little two bedroom piece, with a large tree that sat out front. It was nice.

“I’m so excited,” Kim grinned, “Do you think people will say anything?” She asked a second later, still horrified at the thought of returning. It had been so long. Ten years to be exact. She hoped that no one remembered her. She felt very different from how she once had been. 

“I mean, we’ll only be here for a few days,” Billy chuckled, “Who cares?” He asked her seriously, making her nod along in agreement. It shouldn’t matter at all. 

“Surely no one remembers us,” Kim replied as she did her best to brush off her own worries, “Right?” She asked him worriedly, whispering like someone might hear them. His eyes sparkled in amusement. 

“Yeah, of course,” He grinned as he leaned over the middle console to peck her lips, “Everything will be fine.” He promised, squeezing her hand one last time before they grabbed the girls and made their way inside. 

“You made it,” Max grinned as she gripped Lucas’s hand and brought him forth, “We were just wondering when you’d get here.” She had cut her hair again, leaving it in a short bob that she had tugged back with a blue scarf. It brought her eyes out. 

“Sorry it took so long, diaper explosion,” Kim explained briefly, “Daddy and Rosemary dropped the stuff off at the motel first. We wanted to see you guys.”  She told her as Cherry disappeared into Billy’s chest. He shook his head as he rocked her softly. 

“It’s good to see you after so long,” Lucas interjected, “And I’m excited to meet them.” He grinned as he tried to look at them. Billy hummed, trying to gain Cherry’s attention. 

“Cherry,” Billy picked her up, motioning towards Lucas, “This is Lucas. Remember the pictures Aunt Max brings? This is her boyfriend.” Kim was excited that Cherry and Eleanor would be more adjusted towards him once he made the move after the wedding. 

“Soon to be husband,” Lucas grinned proudly, “It’s nice to meet you, Cherry.” He held his finger out. Cherry grinned shyly, her nose still pressed against Billy’s neck as she reached her little hand out and wrapped it around Lucas’s finger. She shook it quickly, before curling into her daddy’s chest with a loud giggle.

“She’s shy,” Kim smiled at them, “This one is Eleanor, or Ella.” She introduced them, referring to the nickname that Cherry had begun to call her little sister. 

“Ah!” Eleanor responded with a kick of her feet. She giggled harshly, drool falling from her little lips as she squinted her eyes shut happily. 

“She’s a little more talkative,” Kim grinned as she pushed the blonde hairs from Eleanor’s face, “Congrats. I’m so happy for you two.” Kim hugged his side, glad that they were finally making it official. 

“Thank you,” He said as he hugged back, “It all feels a bit surreal.” He admitted, eyes filled with worry before he took another deep breath. She grinned, glad that he was being honest. She knew how he felt. 

“I’m sure,” She smiled, “But you’ll enjoy it. I promise.” She nodded her head, smiling as Max wrapped her arms around her again. She hummed for just a second before she turned her attention up to her.

“Can we talk for a moment?” She asked softly, her blue eyes filled with worry as Kim quickly nodded along. She already knew what it was about, even though Max hadn’t mentioned it yet. 

Kim was hurt at first to hear that she wouldn’t be in the bridal party, but she quickly shoved her feelings aside. She knew she was just fearing that her relationship with Max was gone, but it wasn’t like that. Not being in her wedding wouldn’t affect their relationship at all. She wouldn’t let it. 

“What’s wrong?” She asked as they headed out towards her room. The house seemed to have two bedrooms, meaning that this one must be the one that Max and Lucas slept in. It was nice. 

“I was hoping,” Max paused softly as she held her hands together,  “That you might walk me down the aisle?” She looked up at her, chewing down on her bottom lip. 

“What?” Kim looked at her stunned, sure that she had heard her wrong. Walk her down the aisle? That sounded like something Sam was supposed to do, Susan even. Not Kim. 

“I know your parents are supposed to give you away or whatever,” Max said gently as she pushed her hair from her face, “But you were there more than either of them were. I want you to do it. If you will.” She stared down at her little sister for the longest time, feeling overfilled with emotions suddenly.

“Yep.” Kim sputtered out, her throat burning as she tried to keep from crying. She blinked her eyes rapidly, trying to say something else but was unable to do so. She wiped at her eyes, blaming it all on her hormones. 

“Don’t cry,” Max sniffled, “Because I’m going to start crying.” It was all very emotional as Max wrapped her arms around her again, squeezing her tightly. She sniffled as she held onto her roughly. 

“I’m not crying,” Kim spit out roughly, her throat on fire as she blinked her eyes rapidly, “These are just my allergies. And you know I had two kids and it just makes everything that much worse.”

“I love you, Kim,” Max said as she hugged onto Kim tightly. She sniffled as she buried her face into Kim’s neck, “I’m glad that you’re my sister.” She broke down after that, unsure of why she had been so worried in the first place. Everything would be fine.

Snacks and drinks were passed around as they mingled back and forth with people they hadn’t seen for some time. Not that many of them felt like family, except for one. 

“I can’t believe how long it’s been,” Addi spoke roughly as she hugged Kim tightly, “You look amazing.” She smiled as she pulled away, getting a clear look at her. Kim did the same, feeling like it was funny to think of how much the two of them had grown. 

“So do you,” Kim grinned as she held onto Addi’s elbow, “How are things?” She asked, trying to recall the last time they’d spoken. It had been a while since Eleanor had been born at least. They had all been busy. 

“I’m in real estate and Eddie is working in his own music shop,” She bragged about quickly, “But I want you to meet Everret. Evy, come here.” She waved over a little boy with tanned skin, and black curly hair. It was long and messy.

“Hi.” He said casually as he waved up at her, his eyes big and brown. He looked a lot like Eddie. 

“Hi, Everett,” Kim said softly, “My names Kim, I’m like your moms best friend.” She smiled as she knelt towards him, holding a hand out. He stared at her palm, then narrowed his eyes as he looked at her curiously. 

“Then why don’t I ever see you?” He asked seriously, holding his arms over his chest. She stalled as she dropped her hand, thinking his comment was fairly funny. 

“Everett,” Addi criticized quickly, “I’ve told you about Kim.” She said sternly, widening her eyes in a look Kim recognized too well. 

“Well, I have two little girls,” Kim smiled quickly, “Over there. That’s Cherry and Ella.” She smiled, watching as Cherry bounced between Billy’s feet. She was fairly clingy at the moment.

“Cherry?” He wrinkled up his nose, “She doesn’t look like a cherry.” Everret commented as he furrowed his eyebrows together. She laughed as she looked over at Cherry, deciding that everyone didn’t have to see the vision. 

“He has no filter,” Addi said at last, “I should’ve warned you.” She grumbled as she shooed her son along again, letting him rush back to the group of men he’d been talking to. 

“It’s fine,” Kim smiled, “Have you met all of Steve’s girls yet?” She asked, thinking of how much of a handful they could be. Max would have a lot of little kids in her wedding. 

“There’s two of them, right?” Addi asked as she looked around, trying to find them. Kim searched too, deciding it would be easier to point them out. She wasn’t sure how they could be missed, however. They looked just like Steve. 

“Yeah,” Kim said in agreement, “We have the same amount. They’re a little older though.” She smiled as she thought about how big Jennifer had gotten. She was growing up too fast. It made her worried about how fast her own girls would grow. 

“Good God,” Addi shook her head, “I don’t know how either of you did it back to back.” She sighed as she pushed her hair out of her face, looking like it was a horrendous thought. 

“Apparently not,” Kim giggled, “You don’t want anymore?” She asked curiously, trying to remember if they had discussed this or not. She didn’t think that they had. 

“Three is my limit,” Addi replied, “But you see that boy? Just like his daddy. I need a few years in between or I’ll be sent to my grave earlier than expected.” 

-

Billy wandered around with Steve, bouncing Eleanor around in his arms so she could stay relaxed. He really didn’t feel comfortable being back in Hawkins at all. It was as gloomy as the day he left. He still couldn’t believe Max had chosen to stay here. 

He showed the pictures off to her, smiling at the mentions of their little family on the walls. But there were even more of Max and Lucas. Pictures of them skating, snowboarding, skiing and even where she had taught him to surf in Florida. Lots of arcade sessions as well. It was sweet. 

“Yeah,” Dustin scoffed from down the hallway, talking to Max’s little band of nerdy friends, “I guess we just have to stay away from her douchebag brother.” Billy listeened for a moment, cocking an eyebrow as he was fairly certain that was about him. Okay, there was without a doubt in his mind that they were speaking about him as he spotted Mike across from Dustin. 

“Whom would that be?” He asked a second later, making himself known as Eleanor babbled in his arms. Dustin snapped his head around quickly, almost falling over in the process. He remained calm, reaching for the plate of cookies on the kitchen table. 

“I, uh-,” He stammered, looking lost for a moment as his skin paled, “Nothing. No one.” He asked, his voice shrill and squeaky. Like he was still in middle school and Billy was eighteen again. Fun times. 

“Henderson, right?” Billy asked as he bit into the cookie in front of him, “Your moms name is Claudia? Tell her I said hi.” He added, smirking as Dustin’s jaw dropped. Steve laughed loudly as he approached, slightly awkward as he tugged Billy forward. 

“He’s just kidding,” Steve shook his head, snorting as he pulled Billy away from them, “Was that necessary?” He mumbled underneath his breath, scolding him like he did to his daughter’s. Billy thought that it was completely necessary. He would be an extra asshole to those two.

“It was,” He added dryly, “Are you still friends with those kids?” He glanced over his shoulder, noticing how they had both disappeared. He kissed the top of Eleanor’s shoulder, hoping to get out of here as soon as possible. 

“They’re not kids anymore,” He huffed in defense of himself, “And they’re not that bad. Anymore.” He said a second later, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly. Billy snorted, quite sure that wasn’t true.

-

Cherry was bouncing around, swaying her little basket as her dress bobbed around her knees. She was still excited that she had the honor of being the flower girl, which she kept recreating by throwing out the petals here and there to remind everyone of the big job she’d done.

“Maybe she’ll sleep good tonight,” Billy hummed as she handed him her basket again before she scurried away to join Jennifer and Paisley, “Or maybe she’ll jump on the bed all night.” He said, referencing how she had been the past two nights. In all fairness, she’d never stayed anywhere new before. She was excited.

“I think she’s going to be on a sugar high,” Kim nodded her head along, smiling as Ella dropped her head onto her shoulder again. She was fighting sleep too. They’d passed her off to a few people, but she never wanted to stay long. Especially if Kim left her eyesight. She was her little shadow, “At least she’s having fun.”

“This town just keeps decaying,” He mumbled as he let Ella grip his finger, smiling as she tried to munch down on it, “I’m glad we moved when he did.” He repeated for the hundredth time since they’d been there. He hated it here and she couldn’t blame him. 

Cherry rushed over again before she could agree, ducking in between their legs as she headed back towards the sweets table. She rested her elbows on the table, staring up at the very white cake with dazzling stars in her eyes. 

“Cherry,” Kim swiftly shifted Eleanor in her arms,  “The cake isn’t ready yet, we can’t eat it now.” She reminded her, waving her back over. She whined as she dragged her feet. 

“Why?” Cherry asked, tugging on Kim’s dress. Her blue eyes were lit up in confusion, looking like Kim had just said the most disastrous thing. She pressed her lips together, trying to keep from laughing. 

“Because Aunt Max and Lucas have to cut into it first.” Billy explained as he picked her up, settling into her arms as she held her hands out in confusion. 

“Why?” She asked, furrowing her eyebrows together and shaking her head quickly. She’d definitely had too many sweets. Billy chuckled as he stopped her movements, pausing to kiss her nose. 

“That’s what happens when you get married.” He said as he shrugged his shoulders, keeping the explanation simple. Eleanor shrieked, beginning to kick her feet to match the way Cherry was. 

“But why?” Cherry asked once again, putting her new favorite word to use. At least she was curious, but sometimes Kim couldn’t find a good enough answer for her. She was too smart for them.

“It’s some weird wedding rule,” Kim said at last, “It’s very unfortunate, I know.” She grinned as she kissed her cheek next, agreeing that a slice of cake sounded nice. They’d all just have to wait. 

-

Eleanor grew fast, her personality developing quickly from a fussy baby to an inquisitive one. She scooted around everywhere, tried to stick her fingers in sockets and tried to eat whatever she could get her hands on. 

Billy thought she was funny, at seven months she had bright brown eyes, wispy blonde hair and two big dimples on the side of her cheeks. She wasn’t as interested in speaking, other than the one word that she had successfully learned.

“Ma ma!” She squealed, features lighting up and cheeks squishing up into a large smile, “Ma ma!” She cooed, reaching her fat fingers for Kim as she entered the room once again. She was attached to her, glued to the side of her hip constantly. Anywhere Kim went, Ella needed to follow. Otherwise the sobbing and wailing began. They had tried letting her cry it out, but there was only so much they could handle.

“What are you doing?” She smiled as she lifted Ella up, giving her nose a little poke before Ella attached herself to Kim’s hip, “Were you and daddy playing with the blocks?” She asked sweetly, bouncing her to get a giggle from their baby.

“Me too!” Cherry added as she crawled over Billy’s chest, wearing the new princess dress she’d been obsessed with, “A castle!” She proclaimed as she held her hands out, showing off the oddly shaped building that they’d managed to create.

“Oh, I love it,” She hummed as she sat on the floor with them, crossing her ankles as Eleanor cradled herself into that space, “Is daddy the prince?” She teased as she stuck a foot out, nudging him in the side. He yelped at the feeling of her cold toes against his warm skin, gripping her ankle softly to make her laugh.

“A king,” Cherry corrected, grinning mischievously as she leaned over to wiggle her fingers against Kim’s foot, “Tickle, tickle!” She shrieked, giggling harder than Kim was as she did her best to tickle her.

“I think you got her good,” He praised as he kissed Cherry’s flushed cheek, “You need something to drink?” He asked as he touched her forehead, realizing how warm she was. He frowned before he moved his hand to her cheeks. 

“Hot.” She said with a nod of her head, sniffling as she brought her hand up to her nose. He sat up quickly, wondering if she had caught the cold that Paisley had the other week. 

“I’ll go get you some juice, yeah?” He smiled as he leaned forward to kiss her forehead, trying to recall where they kept the baby thermometer, “Stay right here, okay.” He told her gently, watching as she made her way to Kim.

“Oh, does Cherry not feel good?” She hummed softly as the toddler rested her head on her lap. He worked quickly to grab Cherry’s bottle, filling it up partially before he searched for the thermometer. 

“I otay, mama!” Cherry proclaimed before an echo of coughs left the living room. He popped open the medicine cabinet, scanning for just a moment before he found the unopened one that they had yet to use. 

“Here,” He smiled as he joined them again, watching as she popped her little head up to look at him, “Can you open your mouth?” He asked, chuckling at the quick way she followed his commands.

“He’s gonna put the top part of this in your mouth, alright?” Kim explained as she pointed it out to Cherry, shifting Ella just a bit. She whined, tossing her palms to her thighs until Kim held onto her again, “It won’t hurt at all.”

“I guess.” Cherry held her palms up, still staring at the thermometer curiously before Billy placed it into her mouth. She followed the rest of his directions, blue eyes crossing each time she tried to look at the tool.

“101.2,” He inspected it between his fingers, ensuring that the numbers were correct before he glanced towards Kim, “Are you sure you feel okay?” He asked her gently, touching her warm skin again. 

“Mhm,” Cherry nodded as she rested her cheek on Kim’s thigh again, “Sweepy.” She mumbled a second later, pouting her lips out before she wrapped her little arms around Kim’s leg. Eleanor huffed, leaning over to poke at her sister’s cheek. 

“Should we call the doctor?” Kim asked as she gently took a hold of Eleanor’s hands, getting her to stop as she inspected Cherry with a worried gaze. He thought about it for a moment, but figured it was still fairly low. They could probably try to bring it down on their own to start with. 

“I don’t think so yet,” He mumbled as he brushed Cherry’s soft hair out of her face, “Can you drink some of your juice? Maybe some medicine will work.” He smiled as he began to help her sit up, only for her to flop back onto the floor. 

“No,” She whined as she shut her eyes, kicking her feet out against the floor, “Yucky.” She held her fingers into little fists, continuing to wail about it. He frowned as he thought of another approach. 

“It’ll make you feel better,” Kim told her gently as she brushed her fingers across her forehead, “And if you’re hungry maybe you can have a cookie.” She added a second later, making Cherry’s eyes widen in excitement. 

“Ah!” Eleanor snapped her head around, looking at Kim in dismay as she tugged on her shirt. She grinned from ear to ear, her dimples poking out as she began to babble about something. 

“You too,” She sighed as she shook her head, giving Billy a playful look, “C’mon. Maybe a little bath would help too. Then we could watch the Land Before Time?”

“Again?” He whined, thinking about how many times they’d watched the two movies in the past month. Kim shot her hazel eyes up to him in amusement, then jerked her chin towards where Cherry’s expression had fallen, “I mean again! Wow. I just love those movies.” He replied quickly, feigning excitement as he nodded his head. 

“Weally?” Cherry asked, smiling brightly as she sat up once again. At least she was acting like she felt good. That was certainly a plus. She pulled herself up onto her feet, stepping forward until she reached him. 

“You know I love Spike,” He said with a laugh, inviting her into his arms, “He sort of reminds me of uncle Tommy.” He replied a moment later, grinning at the way she fell into a fit of giggles. At least she still had her humor. 

-

Eleanor’s first birthday was a little less stressful than Cherry’s, although she also took the lead in telling them exactly what Ella needed. Apparently she was the Eleanor whisperer. At least that’s what she liked to remind everyone. 

“No way,” She crinkled up her little nose, looking at the dinosaur decorations that were strung through the house, “She won’t wike it.” She said, looking at the pink dinosaur balloon that Russell was stringing up. 

“And how do you know, stinky?” Russell sassed back, holding his hands on his hips as he looked down at her. Billy chuckled, looking at the way she popped her hip out to mock him. 

“She tell me.” She argued back, furrowing her eyebrows together as she pouted her little lips out. He honestly had no idea how she could be such a spitfire at times. Today was one of those days. 

“Oh did she?” He asked playfully, lips pulling into a grin, “She told me that she loves pink dinosaurs.” He told her as he tapped the top of her forehead gently. She gaped, blue eyes widening and lips parting in horror. 

“Uh uh!” A flash of red rang in his eyesight as she shook her head quickly. Billy chuckled as he walked around her, setting out the little paper plates and plastic silverware. Rosemary had made an impressive cake in the shape of a little dinosaur. He was sure that both of the girls, and Kim, would really like it. 

“Yes huh!” Russell continued to argue back as he worked on stringing the rest of the balloons up. Kim walked through with Eleanor a second later, grabbing a bottle of milk as the little girl babbled on and on. 

He approached, giving her a small smile before he kissed Ella’s chubby little cheek. She giggled hard, squinting her eyes before he wiped the drool from the corner of her lips. He wasn’t sure if she knew what was happening, but she seemed excited regardless.

“Russell,” Rosemary peeked her head over, raising both of her eyebrows in confusion, “You’re arguing with a three year old.” She reminded him in a sing-song way, her blonde hair pulled neatly out of her face. She reached for Eleanor once again, but the birthday girl shook her head once again and clung closer to Kim. 

“She’s very fun to argue with though.” Russell mumbled as he finished up his balloons, taking a step back to admire them. Collin and him had officially moved out, finding an apartment not too far away from Billy’s first one with Kim. 

“Nana,” Cherry proclaimed as she walked over, dramatically pushing her hair from her bangs, “I wike the pink, but not Ella. She wikes blue!” She tugged on Rosemary’s skirt, looking up at her in panic. Like it was the end of the world. 

“There’s blue dinosaurs too,” Sam reminded her, taking her hands gently, “Look at all of them over there. And the green ones.” He responded as he gently tugged her up, giving her a higher view of all of the balloons. Cherry looked at each one before she sighed deeply. 

“It’s otay I guess.” She mumbled as she shrugged her little shoulders, making Billy laugh once again. She had her own tastes, which was good. She just wanted her little sister to have a good birthday. 

“How about we make your plate and then we’ll get ready for the cake?” Sam asked her, smiling brightly as he bounced her lightly in his arms. She squealed as she clapped her hands in agreement.

For her birthday meal they had decided on spaghetti, mainly because she loved to grip it between her fingers and smear it around her face. And it was the one thing she could eat really well for her age. 

Cherry stood proudly on a chair next to her when they sang Happy Birthday, holding her hands so she wouldn’t grab the candles. Her eyes shone bright against the light of the candles, filled with adoration as she helped Ella blow the candles out. Thankfully, she got her own little cake to eat. Not that Billy really worried about baby spit anymore. It was just a few weeks ago that he found out Cherry licked the seasonings off of chips before she put them back into the bag. He wasn’t a fan of chips anymore.

“Cherry,” Kim smiled kindly, “Look, do you want to bring this present to your sister?” She asked once again, passing the presents to their toddler each time she returned for another present. Her mouth matched Eleanor’s, blue and smeared with icing. 

“Hewe Ella,” Cherry said as she plopped down by her little sister, “I hewp.” She said as she nodded her head, beginning to help her little sister pull the paper off of the box. She was really good at helping. 

“They’re so good with one another,” Sam smiled as he snapped pictures of the two little girls, “It’s great.” Billy already had his own camera going in the background, recording the two of them. He hoped they’d enjoy looking back at the memories one day. 

“Look!” Cherry squealed, “It Minnie!” She proclaimed loudly, wiggling the little stuffed mouse in the air until Ella reached for it. She garbled out her thanks, squinting her eyes before she clutched it tightly to her chest.

“So,” Rosemary grinned as she wiggled her way next to Billy, resting on her side so she could face him and Kim, “When can we expect another?” She teased, leaving him to scoff and roll his eyes. He thought there was no shame in having a brief break between their two very active babies. Not yet.

1996

Where Cherry seemed to develop her sounds and words quickly, Ella was the opposite. It took her longer to learn how to speak, but she certainly learned how to crawl and walk a lot faster. She took off easily now, wobbling about right behind Cherry. 

She was snoopy too. She liked to get into anything and everything. Kim often found her hiding in the cabinets, nestled up into pots and pans. She tried to get into the cat litter, into the dryer and the toilet. She was a handful and the gates and locks that were supposed to keep her out, did nothing to stop her. 

“What are you doing?” She would playfully slam the door open, earning a loud shrill from Ella. She giggled harshly, her hazel eyes shining in amusement as she tried to sink into the giant pot, “Oh no.” She laughed as she picked her up, careful to keep from hitting the top of her head. 

“She good at hiding!” Cherry shouted as she rushed in, her hair pulled out of her face as she stomped her little feet to show off the light up shoes she had on. The ones that she never liked to take off anymore. 

“She is,” She said with a laugh as Billy raced through the kitchen, fumbling with the keys as the diaper bag rested lazily on his shoulder, “And mommy’s going to be late for her doctor’s appointment.” She said as she bounced Eleanor, gasping playfully at the way she giggled in response.

“Uh oh,” She smiled sweetly, mirroring Billy’s mischievous grin as they made their way outside, “Oh no.” She began to whine once she realized the dreaded car seat was coming next. She hated it. It was always a fight.

“Just relax,” Billy mumbled as he tried to get her to sit down, sighing at the way she straightened her legs and held her hips in a way that refused to bend, “Ella, c’mon. Look at how Cherry is sitting.” He pointed out, trying to get her to look as she continued to scream about it.

Five minutes passed before they were successful at getting her inside and buckled up. She cried up until the van roared to life, then relaxed fully in her seat. For someone who loved to ride in the car, she sure hated getting inside it. 

In truth, Kim had almost forgotten about her doctor’s appointment entirely until Billy pointed it out on the calendar the night before. It was just a check up, so not necessarily bad to miss it. But he thought otherwise. He got someone to cover him and decided to go with, as the last time she took the two babies in on her own it had been a complete disaster. Eleanor was a runner. 

“Hey,” He said as he balanced them both on his knees once they were inside, “You need to be quiet for mommy’s exam, okay?” He whispered to them, giving them a soft squeeze as Kim kicked her feet on the table she sat on. 

“Why?” Ella asked softly, sweetly as she pulled her lips into a mischievous grin. She thought she looked a lot like Billy, but she also had a lot of Max in her. They looked very similar, especially at this age. 

“Because the doctor is old,” He whispered in her ear, making her giggle as Eleanor kept trying to crawl around on his lap, “She can’t hear very well.” He explained as he squeezed both of their sides, keeping them still for another minute. 

“Oh,” Cherry said as she nodded her head, like she had it all figured out, “I do that.” She pretended to zip her lips, then lock it before she threw the key away. Something she had learned from Russell. 

“Kim,” Her doctor smiled once she entered, hands warm once she shook her hand, “How are you doing? Oh, and look who we have here.” She cooed as she greeted the toddlers, then Billy.

“That’s my mommy.” Cherry said as she pointed towards Kim, giggling as Billy continued to rock her back and forth. Ella sucked on her pacifier, lying lazily against Billy as she kicked her chubby legs back and forth.

Kim went through the usual list with her doctor, repeating the few things that changed but mostly agreeing that everything had stayed the same. No pain or injuries since her last birth, no new allergies or medications. She supposed she was fairly boring. 

“When was your last period?” Her doctor asked as she passed her pen back to Ella, letting her waddle away with it once again to hand it to Billy. It was like a little passing game that she had invented. 

“Oh,” Kim paused, “It’s been- uh, I think it should be starting soon.” She said as she furrowed her eyebrows together, chewing on her bottom lip as she tried to recall the last day she had been on it. It was hard to pay attention to herself when there were two mini versions of her and Billy running around. 

“This time last month?”

“No,” She said softly, realizing that she hadn’t had her period last month, “A little longer.” She exhaled softly as her feet came to a rough stop against the air, realizing what that probably meant. Billy shot his eyes up to her too, the waves in them crashing around in panic. 

“Are your periods usually late?” She asked, “Have they been since you’ve had kids?” She questioned as she looked back at the two little girls near Billy. 

“Not usually,” Kim agreed, “Usually it’s just when I’m-, well pregnant I guess.” She rubbed the back of her neck, trying to think if she had any new symptoms that she had missed. She supposed she hadn’t, but she could still be fairly early on. And her and Billy weren’t exactly doing much to prevent it either. 

“Are you?” The doctor asked slowly, holding her palm out as Ella dropped the pen into her hand once again. Billy rubbed at his jawline, looking a little pale suddenly. She knew he wouldn’t be upset, just a lot of stress. Either way, they would be fine. Somehow. 

“Am I?” Kim scoffed as she looked towards Billy, “No. I mean-, I. No there’s no way. Well… Uh. Maybe we want to test that out.” She mumbled at last, agreeing to take all of the tests even though she was fairly certain she knew the answer.

“We don’t say anything yet,” He told her on the way out to the car, bouncing Ella softly as Cherry trudged along between them, “Just in case they get confused.” He nodded his head along, already coming up with a plan. She grinned.

“There might be five of us soon,” She teased him softly, holding her hand out so Cherry could grip a hold of her, “That would be exciting.”

“Our own little farm,” He snorted as he shook his head, “We’ll be pros by the time this baby comes around.” He told her teasingly, but she completely agreed. At least they had more experience this time. 

-

“Look!” Billy grinned as he held the little pictures up, “We’re going to have another baby!” He told them happily, holding up the ultrasounds once the girls had been fed and bathed. Him and Kim had debated for when would be the right time to tell them, but they had grown too excited to wait. 

“I baby.” Eleanor said sternly, strictly as she nodded her head. He nodded his head as he brushed his thumb across her cheek, enjoying how she had slowly begun talking more and more. 

“You are a baby,” He said with a nod of his head, “And so is Cherry. But we’re going to have another one, isn’t that fun?” He asked them excitedly, moving his hand to Kim’s tummy to make a point. There was nothing to show just yet, but he was excited to see how Cherry would react this time around. Since she was a little older. 

“Yeah!” Cherry replied cheerily, “Mowe babies!” She cheered as she did her little dance, tucking her elbows into her sides and wiggling her butt. Russell had taught her that too as well. They liked to do the chicken dance together, and sing, and bang on instruments. 

“Mama,” Ella whined as she reached for Kim, pouting as she nuzzled her nose into the crook of Kim’s neck, “I baby! Me!” She cried in dismay, brown eyes wide in fear as she gripped a hold of Kim’s face as if to remind her that. 

“You are my little baby, aren’t you?” She said as she kissed all over her face, “You’re going to be the best big sister though. And still stay my little baby.” She promised her as she gave a little bounce, to which Ella giggled along with. 

He thought at first he would be jealous with how attached Ella was to Kim, but he was honestly fairly glad. Kim deserved someone that thought so highly of her. Cherry did too, but not in the same manner. It was cute. 

“Maybe we can celebrate tonight,” He said softly as he invited Cherry into his arms, humming playfully as he thought about it, “We could get Burger King and then go to the play area!”

“Pwease!” Cherry clapped her hands happily, urging Ella to follow along. She did, squealing loudly even though Billy was certain she didn’t know what was happening. It would be loud, but at least they’d get a little break. 

-

“Can you believe I have a ten year old?” Steve asked as he covered his face with his hands, “This is insane.” He shook his head, looking like he was trying to wake himself from a bad dream. Kim couldn’t blame him. Cherry would be four this year, it was crazy. 

“Seems like just yesterday when we saw her in the hospital,” She smiled as she thought about how little Jennifer had been once upon a time, “Everything alright?” She asked him seriously, knowing that he was a little more stressed than usual. 

“Yeah,” He nodded his head, “I mean, it’s been weird for a few years now. But it’s fine.” He pushed a hand through his long hair, sighing before he took a deep breath. She knew what he meant without saying it. He was lonely.

“You’ll find someone,” She said softly, “Both of you.” She added reassuringly. All of them had tried to get him and Gina back together more than once, but it never happened. He wanted more kids and she was happy with what she had. A hard situation. 

“Hi, Kimmy,” Jennifer smiled as she walked forward, giving her a big hug, “You came!” She smiled brightly, coming up to Kim’s elbow now. It was still surreal. She looked a lot like Steve, minus the curly hair and thick freckles on her cheeks and arms. 

“Of course I did!” She grinned as she hugged her tightly, “The girls are here too. We were just so excited.” She told her honestly. They hadn’t ever missed a birthday. She really did feel like a niece to her. 

“Me too,” She giggled as she looked around, “Where’s uncle Billy?” She asked, referencing who her favorite still was. She thought it was sweet that Jennifer still preferred him. 

“Changing Ella,” She said as she made a face, “She threw up all over her outfit.” She fake gagged, earning a laugh from the ten year old. 

“Hi Cherry!” Jennifer waved enthusiastically as the three year old wobbled to them, “You look cute.” She told her quickly, referencing the little cherry dress that they had managed to find. The red was almost as bright as her hair. 

“Tanks,” She grinned as she took Jennifer’s hand, “Play?” She asked hopefully, as she fluttered her thick eyelashes. She’d been eyeballing the bounce house since they arrived.

“Sure,” Jennifer grinned as she pulled her along, “I want you to meet my friends!” She said excitedly a second later, beginning to list off the names of the kids who had shown up. Kim watched, smiling brightly as she watched them both disappear outside.

“I want more kids.” Steve sighed deeply, drawing her attention away as he sat with his hands on his waist. He was still watching them, pressing his lips together like he was trying to come up with some plan to find another baby. 

“I’m sure you’ll get that chance,” She told him seriously, “Don’t rush yourself.” She said a second later, sure that it would be a bad idea to jump into it. 

“Jesus,” Billy grumbled as he returned, holding a babbling Eleanor in his arms, “You get the next one.” He said as he sat her down, shaking his head as she wobbled around in a circle. Steve smiled, holding his hands out to which she examined for a moment before she decided he was worth enough.

“You’re so sweet though,” Kim grinned as she kissed his cheek, giving his back a reassuring pat, “Cherry went out to play already.” She told him, gesturing towards the crowd of kids that were outside. Gina was standing out there, speaking with Tommy. 

“Figures,” He chuckled as he wrapped his arm around her waist, squeezing her flesh softly, “She’s been talking about the bouncy house all day.” He hummed as he pulled her close, making her laugh at the way his nose tickled against the crook of her neck. 

“Has she?” Steve grinned as he tickled Ella’s soft tummy, making her giggle in return, “What about you? Do you want to try out the bouncy house?” He questioned her, tilting his head dramatically as she followed suit.

“Yeah,” She sucks on her thumb, squinting her eyes as she smiled brightly, “Go!” She shouted in excitement, kicking her little feet as Steve guided her outside.

“You think we should tell them?” He asked as he pulled her onto his lap, relaxing in the quiet living room. It wasn’t often that they got time alone. Barely ever, “I mean, before Cherry breaks the news again.” He said with a laugh, referencing how she had already told Rosemary and Sam. Then Russell and Collin. So then it was only fitting that they let her call up Susan and Max to break the news. Their friends were the only ones that remained.

“I suppose,” She said with a laugh, “I kind of feel bad. Steve keeps talking about wanting another baby.” She replied as she pushed her hair out of her face. Billy turned towards her, giving her a bored look.

“He couldn’t handle another kid,” He teased as he pulled his lips into a smirk, “Plus by the way he talks, he’s probably knocked up some stranger and doesn’t even know about it.” He laughed, making her gape as she pushed playfully against his chest. 

“That is so mean.” She told him as she shook her head, only to earn another laugh from him. He moved his arm around her shoulders.

“No,” He said as she shook his head, “I’m being very honest.” He replied as he leaned forward, grinning to kiss at her temple. She supposed he was right. 

The party was loud, full of giggles and shrieks as well as sugar and little girls rushing around. Tommy, as it turned out, had learned how to make animals from balloons. Just for his little nieces. Kim thought it was sweet, or perhaps another way to impress Alma. 

“So,” Kim stood with Billy as the kids played around in the back, “We’re expecting.” She said bluntly, unsure of how to get around it as she held her hands out. They had never been in front of all of them to announce it before. She wondered if a birthday party was the right place. 

“Congrats!” Steve blurted out first, “That’s great news.” He stood, scooping both of them into a tight hug. She smiled brightly, nodding her head in thanks. At least everyone else would be excited with them. 

“Dude,” Alma turned towards Billy as she shook her head, “Stay off of the poor girl.” She laughed as Kim felt her face heat up, a small squeak leaving her lips at the suggestion. Billy chuckled right along. 

“Alma!” Robin shouted out, which only made Alma shrug her shoulders in response. Tommy laughed, squeezing at her shoulder as a warmth spread through the room. Their friends truly were like their own little family. 

-

“Girls,” He hummed softly as he gently took both of their hands, smiling before he pressed their palms against Kim’s tummy, “Feel right there.” He told them softly, watching as their eyebrows furrowed in fascination. They both wore the same concentrated expression. 

“What dat?” Cherry hummed as she tilted her head, looking up at him with shiny blue eyes. Kim smiled softly, keeping her hands folded on her lap as the girls took turns putting pressure down on her tummy. 

“That’s your little baby sister,” He said with a smile, “She’s kicking.” He explained to them, still fascinated with how it worked himself. He was pretty bad about holding onto Kim, about trying to feel the baby at all times. But he couldn’t help it. Their babies were too sweet. 

“Hey!” Eleanor shouted as she leaned closer, her lips muffled as she spoke against Kim’s skin, “No nice!” She groaned against her tummy, drooling a little bit as she tried to blow raspberries against her skin. He chuckled, as Cherry continued to rub Kim’s tummy softly. 

“It’s okay,” Kim giggled as she pushed Ella’s blonde curls from her face, “It doesn’t hurt.” She reassured her as she leaned over, very slowly, to kiss their youngests cheek. She pouted her lips out, not looking quite relieved. 

“Pwomise?” She asked fiercely, still furrowing her little eyebrows together. He laughed as he pulled her onto his lap, giving her a few kisses on her cheek until she started to giggle. He’d miss holding them one day. He didn’t want them to grow up. 

“I pinky promise,” Kim said dramatically as she held her pinky up, “It kind of tickles actually.” She admitted as she continued to let Cherry feel her tummy. She looked intrigued at the new thing that she’d just learned. 

“Cool,” Cherry giggled, “Hi sissy.” She whispered sweetly, smiling as she rested her cheek against Kim’s little tummy. He wished he had grabbed the camera. There were so many things that he wished he could record them doing. They were just too damn cute. 

“Are there any names that we like?” He asked as Ella rested back against him dramatically, stretching her little limbs out as he held onto her loosely. He rocked her back and forth, scooting her up just a bit so he could rest his chin against the top of her head. 

“Kitty,” Ella said thoughtfully as she watched Dove and Pearl race past, chasing a flash of light, “Meow.” She giggled, leaning forward to lick her sister’s hand. Cherry squealed as she rubbed her hand across Kim’s shirt.

“Yucky!” Cherry exclaimed as she pulled away, wrinkling her face up in disgust. Kim giggled as she shook her head, letting Cherry rub all of the spit off of her. 

“What about…,” Billy drew out playfully as he thought about it, “Betty. Sara? Hm. Or Nicole?” He continued to list off a few, trying to think what would match their little family. Cherry and Eleanor. It was hard to decide. 

“No way,” Cherry said as she shook her head, “Oh! Oh! I know!” She squealed as she pulled herself off of the couch, rushing away down the hallway. Pearl followed behind a second later, as she had slowly become protective over the girls. She didn’t like to play like Dove did, but she did like to have an eye on them.

“What do you think?” Kim asked as she turned towards Eleanor, watching the way she wiggled her ankles in little circles. She reached forward and grabbed his hand, moving it over her tummy once again. He felt a smile break free, feeling as their baby began to move again. 

“Mhm,” Ella hummed as she poked Kim’s belly again, “Tootsie.” She giggled hysterically, throwing her head back dramatically against Billy’s chest. He rolled his eyes, knowing just where she got her little jokes from. 

“You gotta stop feeding them sweets,” He said with a laugh, holding his arms out when Cherry returned, “What’s this?” He asked, listening to the way she panted softly as she thrusted the book into his hands. 

“Charlotte,” She said as she held out Charlotte’s Web, “I wike when mama reads it.” She rocked back and forth on her feet shyly, smiling brightly as she looked around. 

“Charlotte is a pretty name,” Kim hummed softly, as Billy nodded along in agreement. He didn’t think he’d ever name his daughter after a spider, but he supposed it did work, “Little Cherry, Eleanor and Charlotte.”

“Mama I Ella.” Eleanor claimed a second later, tone full of sass and attitude as always. Kim held her hands up innocently, smiling before she apologized. Billy couldn’t wait to see how their next one would fit in with their little family. 

-

“You’re judging me,” Kim hummed as she read through her book once again, still unsure of it as she expertly balanced a cup on her swollen belly, “But this is comfortable.” She hummed as Pearl blinked slowly at her, curled up at her side as Kim laid bundled in her chair. She had fuzzy socks on, a wool blanket and a sweatshirt on. She wasn’t sure why she was so cold, but this pregnancy had done that to her.

She sighed as she took another little sip from her straw, deciding that she couldn’t sit here and stress over it for one more minute. She needed to get out, to do something. She was sure that if she sat here for another moment she’d sink into the couch and become a part of it. 

Pearl whined about it but followed her anyways, stopping for just a moment to arch her butt into the air and hold her arms out wide to stretch out. Kim placed her hand on her tummy, pausing before she heard a knock at the door. She sighed at her messy state but answered the door regardless, unsure of where the girls and Billy were. 

“Tommy,” She greeted with a smile, not quite caring if he saw her in this state. He had been unlucky enough to witness her barf her guts out the Easter before Cherry was born, “What are you doing?” She asked curiously, watching as he fumbled with his hands. 

“I just wanted to see how everyone was,” He shrugged his shoulders as he walked inside, “You’re not busy?” He questioned, looking worried as if inviting himself over had been a bad idea. She honestly didn’t mind. The more help, the better. 

“No,” She said as she shook her head, “I’ve been in a brain fog.” She explained as she gestured up to her mind, feeling like she’d already forgotten what she was supposed to be doing. She’d remember it later. 

“No good,” He chuckled as he stepped forward, “Where are they?” He asked excitedly. She figured this meant that Alma was working, unable to be bothered at the moment. 

“I don’t know, actually,” She admitted, “If you want to get yourself a drink, I’ll find them.” She told him as she pointed towards the kitchen, walking slowly to see which room they had disappeared into. 

“No milk.” He replied cheekily, making her snort as she used her ears to see where they’d be hiding out. 

Giggles and squealing drew her attention to Cherry’s room as she walked slowly, hoping that her feet didn’t echo in the way she thought that they did. She always felt huge pregnant. Like someone had inflated her like a balloon. 

“Billy?” She called out to him curiously as she looked inside, looking at the way their daughters were dressed. Cherry had her hair styled perfectly, a sliver of pink gloss on her lips and a smear of purple on her eyes. She’d definitely been into Kim’s makeup again. Ella had her blonde hair tied back, with blue eyelids and red lips.

Both were dressed in soft colors, thick tutus as that had been their new obsession. Ballet classes would definitely be in the future. They enjoyed dancing a lot. And dressing up. 

“Yes,” He responded, looking up from the floor. The girls had decorated him in a pink tiara, with a matching feather boa around his neck. His eyelids were painted blue and he had a shiny pink gloss on his lips, “I couldn’t say no.”

“He’s princess!” Cherry proclaimed proudly, bringing down some pink powder onto his cheeks. Eleanor had busied herself by placing stickers over his skin, a cheerful grin on her lips. She wobbled forward, grinning at the way they were all dressed. 

“I see that,” Kim rubbed her hand over her tiny bump, “Um, Tommy is here to see you.” Eleanor’s voice went high pitched, shrieking at the mention of her Uncle Tommy. She loved Tommy. 

“Well,” Tommy laughed as he entered, holding his arms out wide as the two little girls ran at him, “It’s very nice to see you both. What did you do to your dad?” He asked, looking overjoyed as Billy slouched his shoulders. He looked anything but appreciative. 

“Daddy’s a pwincess.” Cherry giggled as she rocked back and forth, holding a makeup brush in her hands. Kim narrowed her eyes, realizing it was hers. She’d have to lock her stuff up once again. 

“You too!” Ella proclaimed as she waddled forward, grabbing Tommy harshly to pull him into the room. Billy’s lips pulled into a smirk as he crossed his arms, watching as Tommy tried to protest. 

“Oh no, I couldn’t-,”

“I said you too.” Ella snapped her head back towards him, looking at him seriously before she pointed to the spot next to Billy. They were too tall for the little chairs, so fluffy pillows were placed out instead. 

“Right,” Tommy replied as he sat down next to Billy, “You’re kind of scary, you know that?” He asked the little girl, eyebrows raised as Cherry began to gather up the makeup and other decorations again. 

“Yeah,” She giggled as she swayed sweetly, “Tank you.” She said cutely, holding her hands up to her cheeks.

“I’ll be right back,” Kim spoke up a second later, “I’ll give you both a minute.” She told them with a laugh, trying to remember where the camera was at. She needed a whole section in her scrapbooks for this. 

“Don’t get any ideas.” Billy warned her, pointing at her with a sparkly blue fingernail. She laughed once again, wondering how she had ever been nervous around him. He was such a softie. 

She searched for a moment, hands on her hips as she tried to recall where she had put the camera. Usually Billy had it, which didn’t help her any. He was all organized and usually she dropped her things wherever she found it convenient. 

“Boys,” Kim grinned, looking at Tommy's purple eyeshadow and glossy lips, “Hold onto the girls I want a picture.” She told them seriously, trying to gather them all together. Ella plopped down on Billy’s lap, with Cherry crawling in between him and Tommy. 

“Absolutely not-“

“No, no I am not-“

“Get together.” Kim said seriously, motioning them together once again. Billy dropped his jaw before he sighed dramatically, doing what she asked. 

“Damn, she’s mean.” Tommy whispered underneath his breath, but quickly stopped to pull a bright smile onto his lips. The girls bore the same grin, eyes flashing as Kim took a handful of pictures. Just for safe measure. 

“It’s the hormones,” Billy muttered, “At least she’s not crying. She cried for two hours over The Lion King.” He explained as he shook his head, making Tommy laugh. The girls began to set up their tea set once again, but she felt glued to the floor as she thought of the movie once again. 

“His dad died.” Kim’s voice was choked up as she blinked rapidly, inhaling deeply at the strong wave of emotions that hit her. Billy laughed before he stood, joining her to kiss her tears away.

“Just a movie,” He told her softly before he nuzzled their noses together, “C’mon. Join us for tea.” He grinned as he pulled her onto one of the free cushions, surrounding her in giggles as the toddlers began to work on her makeover next. 

-

They were already fairly certain they were having another girl, but decided it would be fun for Cherry and Eleanor to be able to find out. Just something small, something easy that they could actually make sense of. They didn’t understand the ultrasound pictures at all.

Rosemary had gleefully made a cake for them, mixing the vanilla cake with either blue or pink. They decided that would be the most simple, but he was also certain that Kim was also craving cake. 

“What are we having?” He asked, letting the toddlers hold onto his and Kim’s wrists and he cut the knife through the cake, “Can you see?” He asked them, waiting as both of the girls tried to peek first.

“It’s pink!” Cherry said as she looked over her shoulder, glancing back at them as her lips pulled up into a bright smile. Her blue eyes flashed, twinkling as she turned back towards the cake. 

“Yay!” Ella shouted as she clapped her hands, following the lead of everyone else. She had matching pig tails as her sister, although her hair wasn’t quite as long or thick. But it was very blonde and curly. 

“Three girls,” Russell grinned as Cherry plopped herself into his arms, “You’re outnumbered.” He teased as he rocked her back and forth. Ella squealed before she reached forward, joining him a second later. 

“I have been,” He pointed out, feeling like the cats counted too, “This is exciting.” He grinned happily, quite enjoying his little band of girls. He was happy being a girl dad. 

“I get another friend,” Russell hummed as he rubbed his cheek playfully against Ella’s, “Am I the best uncle, or what?” He laughed before he did the same to Cherry. Ella watched him for a second before she wiggled down, obviously jealous. 

“Or what?” She asked as she placed her hands on her hips, wiggling her little nose as Billy laughed at her. She was sassy, that was for sure. She may not have been around Max very often, but she acted just like her. Sort of looked like her too. 

“You’re a brat.” Russell said as he kissed Cherry’s cheek repeatedly, making her giggle while Eleanor just got more irritated. 

“Gwampa!” Ella waddled over, tugging on Sam’s jeans, “Wowd help!” She begged as she held her hands up, waiting for him to pick her up. 

“Hm,” He thought to himself, touching his finger against his chin playfully, “Perhaps wanker?” He suggested as he pulled her up into the air. Her features wrinkled into mischief as she smiled brightly. 

“You a wankew!” She shouted as she pointed to Russell, smiling proudly as Billy brought his palm up to his palm up to his mouth to hide his laughter. There was something hilarious about having such little kids curse.

“Dad!” Kim shouted in disbelief, stopping mid sentence from her conversation with Collin and Rosemary. Her hazel eyes were wide, her lips parted as she quickly shook her head. Billy tried to straighten up, to keep from laughing. 

“Sam,” Rosemary laughed softly, “She doesn’t need to be saying that.” She spoke softly, but looked amused as well. Russell was laughing too, his whole face pink as Eleanor continued to look proud of her word she had just learned. 

“It’s kind of funny,” He said as he gestured towards her, “Billy thinks it’s funny.” He said as he gestured towards him as Kim quickly snapped to his direction. 

“Mhm,” Billy pressed his palm up over his lips once again, suppressing his laugh, “I didn’t say anything.” He promised, words muffled as Kim shook her head. He knew that she thought it was funny too, she was just better at hiding it. 

-

The rest of the pregnancy went smoothly for Kim, although she still suffered with morning sickness and the usual symptoms. Each pregnancy seemed to go better than the last though. This baby decided she was going to arrive a day early, five days after Kim’s birthday. 

“It’ll be so much fun,” Billy promised as he helped the other two inside of the house. Cherry was already running around, excited to be staying the night with nana and grampa, “You’ll stay one night with granny and papa and then in the morning, you’ll have a new baby sister.”

“Weally?” Eleanor sniffled as she rubbed at her wet eyes, cheeks flushed and tear stained as she stood in front of him. She looked pitiful with her teddy bear hanging at her side, her pacifier discarded on the floor as soon as he tried to leave. 

“Yeah,” He told her gently as he cradled her little cheeks in his palms, “Everything is going to be okay, I promise.” He replied sweetly, giving her cheek a few kisses as she took a deep breath. At least she was trying. She had never really spent the night anywhere on her own before. He hoped she’d be alright. 

“Otay.” She whined as she dropped her head to his chest, crying once again as he scooped her up. He really hated to leave her. It made his heart ache as he rocked her back and forth. Sometimes he wondered if it would be easier to leave when she was sleeping. “And I bet,” He added softly, “That they would love to have you cuddle with them in their bed. Doesn’t that sound like fun?”  He smiled as he motioned towards her grandparents. Rosemary grinned as she nodded her head, clearly excited at that prospect. She was the best with them. 

“Mhm.” She said as she wiped at her cheeks, breathing in deeply as he carried her over to them. Cherry was on Sam’s lap already, holding a book as she tried to read it outloud to him. 

“And you can pick on Russell as much as you want,” He added with a laugh, remembering how he said he’d be over to keep them company, “It’ll be like a party.” He promised as he passed her off to Rosemary, feeling guilty as she continued to reach her little hands out to him. He gave each of her fingertips a little kiss, then did the same to Cherry.

“Bye-bye, daddy!” Cherry waved brightly, smiling sweetly as Ella buried her face into Rosemary’s chest and began to cry. He knew she’d get over it, but it still hurt to see her in such a state. 

He slid out the door as quickly as he could, not wanting Kim to have to wait so long for him. He shook the guilt away, knowing it would only be a few hours before he saw them again. Ella Would be completely fine at that point. 

“Is she okay?” Kim asked worried, features pulled together in discomfort as she rubbed at her belly. He wished he had a simpler answer for that. He knew she felt guilty too, not that either of them could help it.

“I think she will be,” He said softly, “Just confused.” He said as he nodded his head softly, smiling before he kissed her hand. He began to back out of the driveway, beginning their drive to the hospital. 

“I hate that we can’t take them.” She mumbled as she kept her gaze back towards the house, looking like she was seconds away from telling him to stop to get them. He knew that there was no place for them in the hospital.

“I think they’d be too freaked out to join,” He said with a chuckle, “She’ll be alright for the night.” He promised her, sure that as soon as she realized she got to stay with her grandparents all night she’d be excited once again.  

-

Charlotte Rose Hargrove was born September 19th at 10:34 at night. A late birthday present, as Kim referred to her as. She had just a hint of red to her hair, like she would be a strawberry blonde. Her eyes were darker, making her think that she’d have hazel eyes. Other than that, her mixtures seemed to blend nicely between her and Billy. She had continued the trend of taking his nose, but her lips seemed to match Kim’s. 

Billy had followed her to get measured, cleaning and weighed as he had with the other two. He always returned with tears in his eyes, his voice raw as he expressed how beautiful she looked. She weighed right in between where her older siblings had, a little smaller than Ella but slightly bigger than Cherry. He had picked out her middle name. 

“She’s small,” Cherry breathed out, resting on Billy’s lap as he helped her hold onto Charlotte. Her eyes lit up, twinkling as she looked down at her little sister, “Like a fairy.” She whispered dreamily, looking in awe as she continued to rub her hands across her baby sister’s face. It made Kim’s heart swell. 

“Fro away!” Eleanor spat out, pointing a finger angrily towards Charlotte, “My daddy!” Eleanor cried out, stomping her little foot down in anger. Kim sighed softly, unsure of why Eleanor was having tantrums again. 

“Oh honey,” Rosemary picked her up, kissing her cheek softly, “You don’t want to throw her away, she’s your sister.” She tried again, usually having the best luck when it came to calming down Ella. It was not happening today, however. 

“I do,” Eleanor cried dramatically, “No happy.” She sobbed as she held her head back, her blonde curls bouncing in different directions at how hard her shoulders were moving. 

“Oh Ella,” Kim drew out softly, “Just think, you’ll have someone new to play with.” She said in excitement, trying to remind her of why she had been so excited in the past few weeks. Eleanor slid out of Rosemary’s arms drastically as she shook her head. 

“No.” She was on the floor crying now, shaking her fists dramatically. Billy inhaled deeply as he shook his head, looking just as lost as to what they should do about her. They were still learning. 

“She was just excited last night,” He spoke softly, watching the way Cherry was kissing Charlotte’s nose, “Here.” He switched with Rosemary, passing Cherry and Charlotte to her before he scooped Eleanor’s sobbing form from the floor. He bounced her in his arms, trying to soothe her as he rubbed soft circles in her back. Kim stared for a moment, a soft grin forming on her lips as she realized how far they’d come.

“Are you hungry, Ella?” She asked softly, listening to the dramatic way she was sniffling. Ella had been the more emotional one thus far and Kim wondered where Charlotte would fit in. 

“Yes,” Eleanor spoke roughly, pronouncing her s as sh instead. She was wiping at her eyes, sniffling hard as Billy bounced her, “Please.” She added after a second thought. Billy grinned as he listened to her. 

“I’ll go get her something,” He kissed her wet cheek as she sniffled in his arms, “Maybe get her ready for a nap.” He said softly as he rocked her back and forth. Kim nodded in response as he met her eyes. She blew him a soft kiss, watching in amusement as Ella tilted her head back in anguish again. 

“No,” Eleanor sobbed again as he opened the door, “No nap.” She shook her head in dismay, the sounds of her crying ringing down the hallway as Billy carried her off. Sam chuckled softly, turning towards Max as if he was stuck in his own memory. 

“Geez,” Max muttered as she picked up Cherry, giving her a big hug, “I have no idea where she gets her attitude from.” Max spoke playfully, making Kim laugh. She had arrived last night, another late present in Kim’s mind. 

“Yeah,” Kim rolled her eyes playfully, “She doesn’t remind me of anyone at all.” She told her, smiling brightly as she thought about how similar Ella was to her aunt. Max hugged onto her, resting her cheek against the top of her head. 

When Billy returned, Ella was fast asleep in his arms. He passed her off to Sam, who always seemed to be the one that was the best at getting the kids to sleep for long periods of time. Billy said it was because of the way he recounted his facts.

“When are you and Lucas going to move out of that dumb little town?” Russell asked as he bounced Cherry back and forth from each knee. She still enjoyed playing with him the most. 

“You’ve been there once.” Max said with a laugh, looking at him in disbelief as she held Charlotte awkwardly in her hands. Kim thought that this may convince her to at least get another animal. 

“There’s nothing there,” He said seriously, “And it makes me sneeze.” He added a second later, referencing how sick he had gotten at her wedding. He could barely talk by the time they left. 

“You’re weak.” Max said as she shook her head, rubbing her finger softly against Charlotte’s cheek. She pulled her little lips into a smile before she cooed gently. 

“I have bad allergies.” He protested as Cherry plopped back against him, making him fake groan before he pretended to drop her onto the floor. She shrieked, giggling loudly before he pulled her back up. 

“I do-,” She paused for a moment, “We’re thinking about adopting.” She admitted softly, almost shyly as she kept her attention on the baby in her arms. Billy looked at her in surprise, grinning widely. 

“Really?” Kim asked in excitement, “Oh Max that’s incredible. You’d be a great mom.” She told her seriously, squeezing her arm softly. Billy nodded in agreement as Sam and Rosemary pitched in their own little advice. Max shook her head at all of them. 

“Thinking,” She reminded her sister, “I don’t know if we’ll go through with it.” She pressed her lips together, hiding her grin. Kim wouldn’t pressure, rather decided that she should make the decision on her own. 

-

Christmas with three girls felt different. Cherry was four, Eleanor was now two and Charlotte was just three months old. She had Kim’s big hazel eyes, but Billy’s thick eyelashes. She was an observer for sure, always sitting and watching what everyone else was doing. 

They had crowded into the van, having high expectations of being at the mall despite how busy it would be. Cherry and Ella talked about which pretzel they wanted to share, about what smoothie they’d sip on while they waited in line to meet Santa. If only it was that easy.

“Don’t you want to meet Santa?” Billy was confused, holding onto the two toddlers as they sobbed into his shoulders. He stepped out of the way, hoping that the parents behind him would continue to go forward. It was no use. Everyone had stopped to stare at them. The fuckers. He was sure they’d all experienced a meltdown before. 

“No, no,” Eleanor’s face was red from crying so hard, “He’s scary!” She exclaimed as she tried to hide behind Kim. He shook his head, looking down at where Cherry was clinging to him. 

“He take us!” Cherry proclaimed through thick tears, hiccuping from how hard she was crying. He didn’t understand how they thought he was so scary. He looked nice. Very embarrassed but nice. 

“No, he won’t take you,” Kim responded softly, “Girls, we got a picture with Santa last year. Remember?” She tried to remind them, obviously looking disappointed that she didn’t bring the photos with. How were they supposed to know that this would happen though? 

“I can’t do it,” Cherry sobbed, “Daddy!” She reached for him, making him sigh softly before he picked her up. He hummed softly, bouncing her back and forth to try and calm her down. He reached for Ella next, wishing the bastards behind them would stop judging. 

“Well,” Kim paused as she balanced Charlotte for a moment, “I guess it’s just one.” She said awkwardly, smiling as she set her down on Santa’s lap. She sat calmly, hazel eyes darting around as she snuggled herself up to Santa.

Charlotte seemed to enjoy it, her lips pulling into a wide grin as someone continued to ring a bell to get her attention. Although she was really focused on her two sisters, who kept dancing back and forth behind the scenes. 

“Are we too cold for ice cream?” Kim asked once they were done, far away from that horror show. He was still fairly certain that the parents behind them were talking about them. Not that it really matter, but he hated when people got on their high horse. He was sure their snot nosed brat had a meltdown or two before. 

“No!” Ella giggled happily, “Ice cweam, ice cweam!” She held her little hands up, bouncing around in a circle as she kicked her knees high into the air. He shook his head, wondering where that joyful attitude was a few minutes ago. 

“Pretty please?” Cherry asked sweetly as she tugged on his hand, smiling brightly at him. She had that twinkle in her eyes, the one that was hard to say no to. 

“How can we say no to that?” He teased as he looked at Kim, shrugging his shoulders softly. They had walked around the mall for some time now. He thought that they could all use a sweet treat.  

“I’m not the least bit surprised,” She giggled as she kissed the top of Charlotte’s head, “They’ve got you on a leash.” She teased as she sent him a wink, leading them to the ice cream shop as he reached for both of the little girls. 

“Yeah, well-,” He paused for a moment as he took both of their little hands, “Don’t be jealous.” He laughed, fully aware that he did whatever his daughter’s wanted him to do. They were just too damn sweet. 

Their orders were simple. Kim got mint chocolate chip, as usual, he got chocolate, Cherry got strawberry and Ella always wanted birthday cake. Or sherbet. Today, she had decided on some type of raisin flavor. His daughter was odd. 

“What dat?” She asked curiously as she leaned across the table, the corner of her lips green from her ice cream as she watched Kim squeeze her lemon into her water cup. Billy thought that lemon water and ice cream was an odd mixture, but her taste buds had changed since the last pregnancy. And he wasn’t going to mention anything about it. 

“A lemon,” Billy hummed as Kim sucked down the rest of the juice, “Do you want to try it?” He asked as he pulled a free one from the little container they workers had placed them in. It was evil, but it would be funny. 

“Mhm,” She replied as she took a big bite from the lemon. Her hazel eyes widened, her lips puckering up and face wrinkling as she shook her head, “Yuck!” She shook her head, her face all puckered up as she gasped. Kim’s laughter mingled with his as they watched her dramatically shake her hands next. 

“I try!” Cherry shouted as she followed her sister’s lead, “Oh, yucky!” Her features wrinkled up a second later, before she tilted her head and leaned in for another bite. Okay, he was fairly certain that both of his children were odd ducks. 

“Fuck!” Eleanor shouted a second later, making the restaurant go silent as Kim and Billy’s eyes widened largely. He brought his hand up to cover his mouth, trying to keep from laughing as she went back to innocently licking her ice cream cone. 

“Where did you learn that word from?” Kim whispered in horror, face red as she glanced around. This would probably be the last time they ever took their daughter’s out in public again. He bit down on his palm, trying to stifle the laugh that was bubbling in the back of his throat. 

“Daddy.” Ella said softly, curiously as she turned to face him. He lost it that time, chuckling as he shook his head. There was no way. He was very careful with what he said around them. 

“I-,” He paused as he rubbed at his chin, laughing softly, “Yeah. She probably did.” He admitted upon a second thought. He may or may not have a dirty mouth. It wasn’t necessarily his fault. 

“Well,” Kim giggled softly as she kissed the top of Charlotte’s head. She was much too interested in staring at the ice cream, “It’s a bad word.” She explained softly, gently in the manner that she always did when they wanted to correct the behavior. 

“I bad?” Eleanor’s expression dropped, her eyes softening as she sat back in her chair. He rubbed at her back, feeling bad for her little pouty lips. 

“No, no,” She reassured her, “You’re not bad. It’s just a bad word and your daddy has a very dirty mouth.” She said as she pointed her finger playfully towards him. He sent her a wink. 

“Guilty.” He admitted as he held his hands up innocently. Maybe he needed to watch what he was saying when Eleanor was around from now on. 

“Fow shame daddy.” Cherry shook her head playfully, pretending to look disappointed in him. He laughed as he took another lick of his ice cream cone, offering Eleanor a bite. She took it, getting some chocolate against her nose. 

“For shame,” Kim agreed with a laugh, “I think you owe them a quarter.” She added a second later, balancing Charlotte in her arms as she began to stir. She rocked her softly, searching in the bag for the bottle that they had prepared. 

“You’re not serious.” He said a second later as he thought about it. He’d be broke by the time he learned his lesson. She looked up at him, fully serious. 

“Sounds like we need a swear jar,” She said smugly, “You better put yourself in check.” 

-

It had been a struggle, but Kim and Billy had finally managed the three girls into the matching green and red outfits. Cherry was still dressed nicely, her eyes sparkling in excitement as she kept sitting near the Christmas tree. Eleanor had long removed her hair from her pigtails and was now trying to peek at all the wrapped presents that may be hers. Charlotte was just content being passed around, her eyes wide and curious over what everyone else was doing. 

“You stinker,” Russell grabbed a hold of Ella, swinging her dramatically in his arms, “Can you even read?” He asked her, grinning at the way she gasped and giggled. 

“No you stink!” She pointed blindly, kicking her little feet before he brought her back upright. She pushed her messy hair out of her face, cheeks flushed before she tried to dive into the pile of presents again. Billy laughed from where he was giving Charlotte a bottle, pointing out the way her eyes had grown wide. 

“Mommy,” Cherry tugged at Kim’s skirt, “Who's the snowman?” She asked curiously, tilting her head as she tried to remember him. She had spent all last week singing about him. 

“Frosty,” Kim answered softly, holding out her arms as Cherry clambered on top. She winced, adjusting her for a moment so they’d both be more comfortable. She didn’t like how it was getting harder and harder for her to hold Cherry, “Remember the song?” 

“Mhm,” Cherry nodded in agreement as she fiddled with Kim’s necklace, “You sing it.” She added a second later, still poking at the necklace. 

“You want me to sing?” Kim laughed softly, “Are you sure about that?” She asked her seriously, knowing that she wouldn’t be able to. At least not with everyone around them. It still made her too nervous. 

“I like when you sing.” She pouted out her little lips, flashing her those sparkly little eyes. Kim grinned as she pushed the hair from Cherry’s face. Her hair was getting so long, a reminder of how much she was growing. 

“You’re so sweet,” She said as she kissed her little nose, “My sweet little baby.” She cooed softly, watching as she sat up a little straighter and gaped. 

“I big giwl!” Cherry corrected, shaking her head like Kim was surely wrong. She couldn’t deny that the statement hurt just a little bit. There was no way her little baby was big enough to say that.

“No,” Kim gasped as she moved Cherry so she was holding her like an infant again, “You’re always going to be my little baby!” She teased as she rocked her playfully, rubbing her fingers across her chubby cheek. 

“Nah uh!” Cherry giggled out, but still snuggled up to Kim, “Even when I really big? Like Russ!” She pointed out, jabbing her hand towards where Russell was sitting near Collin again. Ella wandered back towards him, gripping a hold of his knees before she tried to climb on top of him. 

“I could easily hold Russell,” She scoffed playfully and shook her head, “He’s a big baby too. Look at him giving nana a big hug.” She whispered teasingly as Rosemary walked around, giving him a squeeze from behind the couch. 

“I can hear you!” He shouted, turning his gaze in their direction. He narrowed his eyes playfully at Cherry, like he was going to get her back next. 

“Big baby,” She whispered as she held her own giggling baby close, “Just like you’ll always be mine.” She smiled as she looked down at the way Cherry was holding her little hands together. She moved her knees up towards her chest, pulling her a little closer. 

“Okay,” She drew out playfully as she tucked her little hands over her chest, “I like that.” She giggled, shifting a little bit as she could sit up and give Kim a big squeeze this time. She held her back, locking eyes with Billy for just a moment. He was grinning, giving her a look that she knew all too well. She knew he felt the same way about them growing up. They should just all stop. 

“How come we never got a picture with Santa this year?” Rosemary asked curiously, resting her hands on her hips as she glanced between the two girls. Ella and Cherry glanced at each other before they hid their giggles. 

“Mom I told you,” Billy sounded irritated as he spoke, “They wouldn’t go up there. We got one of Charlotte, that’ll have to do.” He said as he gestured towards the one picture, still clearly bitter that he hadn’t been able to convince the other two. Oh well. 

“Well I just think it’s lovely,” Rosemary grinned, “She looks so cute. Did you like meeting Santa?” She asked as she joined Kim on the couch, accepting Ella into her arms as soon as she sat down. 

“Scawy,” Cherry spoke up softly, eyes wide as she held onto Kim, “Vewy.” She nodded her head slowly as she recounted her scary story. Kim smiled, adjusting the piece of hair that kept popping out from her braid. 

“Scary?” Sam asked with a laugh as he picked Charlotte up, “He’s just trying to figure out what presents to bring you.” He smiled as he bounced her around, letting her curious eyes dance over everyone. 

“Stinky.” Ella answered as she held her hands on her hips, nodding her head fiercely. Cherry giggled once again, hiding her face in Kim’s chest as she did so. 

“Again,” Russell teased as he poked at her sides, “Are you sure you’re not just smelling yourself?” He laughed at the way she swatted at him, wrinkling up her little nose before she shoved her face up towards his. 

“It would be weird,” Sam answered with a nod of his head, “You know having to sit on the lap of a man you don’t know.” He explained as he thought about it, chuckling as Charlotte babbled something off. 

“And he has the weird beard,” Collin added, “I think it would be odd too.” He nodded his head, accepting the little high five that Ella gave him. Billy snorted as he stretched his legs out, crossing his ankles before he shook his head. Kim watched him for a moment, thinking that he looked really handsome tonight. 

“Well then,” Rosemary laughed, “I guess we better start with mine first. If that’s okay?” She asked as she looked around, happy with the nod of heads before she sorted through the presents that her and Sam had gotten for everyone. 

“Tank you!” Cherry proclaimed happily as she took her time to read her name on the paper, inspecting it for a moment before she began the task of gently unwrapping it. She sat in front of Billy, gasping and giggling as she revealed a new Barbie doll. She was just recently getting into them. 

“Ella,” Billy spoke up with his eyebrows raised, “Something you want to add?” He reminded her gently as she roughly tore her paper from her present, squealing as she proudly held up a set of new toy horses. 

“Oh yeah!” She giggled as Billy’s lips pulled into a grin, “Tank you!” She added a second later, smiling sweetly as she reached for the next one. Kim shook her head as she worked with Billy, unwrapping their own that Rosemary had gifted them.

“What do you think?” Billy hummed as he bounced Charlotte in his arms. He held the presents up towards Charlotte’s curious eyes, but she seemed more interested in the bright wrapping paper than anything else.

“Here you go,” Kim grinned as she handed her another piece of wrapping, “They’re so easy to shop for when they’re this little.” She whispered teasing, heart fluttering at the laugh Billy let out. His lips pulled into a bright grin, his eyes twinkling with the lights as Charlotte rested lazily against his chest. 

All three girls crashed before they ever made it home, Ella and Cherry clutching their new toys as Billy carried them up to their rooms. They had been smart this time and planned ahead, changing them into their pajamas before they ever left. Even though both girls swore up and down that they were going to stay awake for Santa. 

It was risky considering they had to be up so early, but Kim must’ve been feeling a little frisky as she fell to her hands and knees on the bed. She kept her ass up in the air, gasping at the way Billy rubbed his palm across her backside.

He groaned as he took in the image of her before he dragged the tip of cock against her folds, teasing her as he circled the head of his cock against her aching clit. She whimpered, glancing back at his smug features before he slowly slid himself inside of her.

She gasped, eyes falling shut as she gripped the sheets underneath her skin. She moaned as he slowly stretched her, inch by inch and filled her deeply. The curve of his cock fit perfectly inside of her, snug as she leaked around him.

She bit down on her bottom lip, doing her best to keep quiet as he moved his hands to her hips and began to slowly rock her up and down along the length of his cock. He hit her bundle of nerves each time, making her mind turn fuzzy and tingly. She breathed in deeply, feeling like he only slid in deeper each time. 

“Jesus,” He hummed from behind her, making her lips part at the sound of his raspy voice hitting her ears, “You look so good like this, Kim. Such a good little whore for me.” He praised her, smirking as he moved his palm between her legs.

He rubbed his fingers against her clit, sending shocks of pleasure through her body as he continued to rock his cock inside of her slick cunt. She moaned as her fingers clenched the sheets tighter, gripping onto support as he dragged her back against him roughly. 

“Feels so good,” She whined, spitting out softly as she licked the drool away from her lips. She felt her eyebrows knitting together in awe, her cunt burning in pleasure as his thick cock continued to stretch her walls apart, “Right there.” She whimpered softly, gaping as the head of his cock dragged against her bundle of nerves. 

She squeaked in pleasure, holding onto the sheets tightly as Billy continued to press her deeper into the mattress. She felt herself sinking into it, molding as one as the sound of her skin meeting Billy’s filled the room. The pleasure was overwhelming, the sounds dirty as it filled her ears. 

“Gonna-,” She breathed out roughly, gasping as she felt her walls clamping down around his thick girth, “Oh my God! Yes! Yes!” She shrieked into her pillows, trying to keep herself quiet as she felt herself cumming around his cock.

She shook, her mouth dropping in awe as the bliss spread through her body like wildfire. It felt too good, too intense as small sounds continued to roll off of her tongue. Billy pressed into her deeply, his balls dragging against her skin as he grunted off a line of curses. 

“Fuck,” He huffed as he rubbed his hands across her skin, squeezing her softly as she whimpered from underneath him, “You’re so fucking good.” He chuckled, biting his lip before he brought his palm down against her cheek.

“Oh!” She yelped in surprise, quickly turning to look at him again, “That was mean.” She laughed, moving her messy hair from her face so she could look at him better. His hair was slightly stuck to his forehead, his skin flushed as he looked down at her.

“Sorry,” He grinned as he leaned over, making her squeak at the way he accidentally pressed himself deeper inside of her. He dragged his mouth against hers, sealing her lips in a passionate kiss, “Merry Christmas.” 

-

“Huwwy,” Eleanor’s words slipped as she tugged on Billy’s arm, “Daddy!” He groaned as he dropped his face back into the pillow, swearing that he had just fallen asleep.

“Santa’s here!” Cherry squealed in delight as she placed her hands on his back, bouncing her little feet on the mattress next to him.

“Five more minutes.” Kim groaned from next to him, sounding just as beat and tired as he felt. Surely five minutes wouldn’t kill them.

“No!” Both of the girls whined in unison, beginning to jump on the bed more frequently. 

“Alright, alright,” He sighed as he rolled over, rubbing his eyes for just a second before one of them collapsed on top of his chest, “Haven’t we told you about the monkeys who jumped on the bed?”

“Yeah,” Ella grinned as she laid two inches from his face, “It funny.” She giggled softly before she leaned down to smooch his cheek messily. He grumbled as he wiped his palm across his now damp cheek. 

“You need to brush your teeth,” He chuckled, waving a hand in front of his face before he slowly sat up on the edge of the bed, “You too Cherry.”

“Awe poop.” Ella huffed as she waddled out, closely followed by Cherry. Billy was beginning to follow before he stopped to grab the comforter from the bed.

“No,” Kim whined as she curled up into a ball, whimpering as the heat left her, “I don’t want to.” She sighed deeply, keeping her long legs pulled up to her chest as if she could hide away once again. 

“You better hurry,” He teased as he rubbed the back of her thigh, “Before they come back here and mean it.” He warned her, grinning as he smacked her thigh. She yelped, blinking rapidly as she turned her attention towards him once again. 

“Ugh.” She groaned before she sighed deeply, staring up at the ceiling for a moment before she began to crawl her way out of bed. He observed her for just a moment, ensuring that she was actually moving before he went to check on their girls next. 

He turned down the hall, rubbing at his side as he listened to the sounds of the girls in the bathroom. He watched for a moment, looking at the clean toothbrush Eleanor was holding.

“Did you scrub your teeth?” He asked her, cocking an eyebrow before Cherry giggled and put some toothpaste on her brush. He ensured both of them started before he headed back to the room, double checking that Kim hadn’t fallen asleep once again. 

“I’ll get Charlotte,” Kim mumbled on the way out, hair still messy but teeth minty as she pecked his lips, “Put a shirt on.” She brought her hand down against his peck, making him yelp before he rubbed at his sensitive skin. He liked keeping his shirt off. 

He brushed his hair out, scrubbing his teeth and then did what she asked. Even though he thought it might be a little too warm to fully get dressed. He supposed it was only fair to not distract her. 

“Here,” Kim sighed as she pushed him a cup of coffee, “Figured you’d need it.” She smiled tiredly at him before she joined him on the couch, holding onto Charlotte who was half away. He accepted the coffee gratefully, but then turned his attention to her drink of choice. 

“Are you drinking a soda this early?” He asked in amusement, taking a slow sip of his drink before he brought his fingers down against Charlotte’s exposed toes. She wiggled her feet at him, giving him a small smile. 

“I don’t judge your tastes.” She replied back, cocking her eyebrows high as she took another drink from her soda. He laughed, confirming it was still far too early. 

“That’s-, alright,” He chuckled as he looked back at the girls, “What did Santa say?” He asked as he looked at the letter Cherry had in her hands. It was set up next to the mostly empty plate of cookies that they had left out the night before, which they had the honor of enjoying while the girls were sleeping. 

“That we good!” Cherry squealed as she looked over it, “And to keep up the good work!” She held her thumb up, summarizing the letter fairly well. He chuckled as he sat up a bit, ensuring that the camera was recording them alright. 

“Why don’t you both start with one present each?” Kim suggested as she kissed Charlotte’s cheek, “Then we can see what you get.” She tilted her head as she sat up a little bit better, crossing her legs and letting the infant curl into a ball against her.

They did just that, both of them taking turns and praising each other for what they got. Cherry liked to show everything off, to get the plastic completely off of her toys before she moved on. Eleanor was the opposite. She dove in, trying to get all of her presents open as soon as possible.

Kim had gotten him a few tapes and even a CD to go in the van. Even though he had a deep loathing for them, for reasons he really didn’t know. It was the same reason he didn’t want a new phone for their house, he was not good with new technology.

She also gifted him a few new shirts, some cologne and the hair products he’d been running low on. Smaller gifts included cigarettes, his favorite coffee brand and some candies. And peppers. His favorite gift had to be the concert tickets, however. He was excited to do that with her again.

He had found her a neat Jane Austin book set, as well as the new series that she had been reading. He went the same route as she did, gifting various smelly things and a new art set for her drawings that would go in her picture books. 

“Hewe, Wottie.” Ella hummed as she approached, holding out another piece of paper for Charlotte to take. She gripped it tightly, gurgling as she tried to bring it up to her slobbery lips. 

“Who’s that?” Kim asked curiously, tilting her head as she looked between the two little girls. He shrugged, sure that this was the first time he’d heard that name as well.

“Da baby,” Ella said as she furrowed her eyebrows together in disbelief, “Wottie.” She said as she pointed towards Charlotte. Charlotte giggled, apparently finding it funny.

“It easier to say that, mama.” Cherry replied with a nod of her head, making Billy chuckle. Seems like they had already decided on a nickname on their own.

“Oh, I see,” Kim smiled, “Lottie. Very cute.”

Part two

[thornsnvultures]

finally ♡

Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

summary: here comes the bride 🥰 (a sort of prequel to this fic but can be read alone)

warnings: none? brief mention of getting stabbed by natasha lol

words: 503

a/n: @real-jane I promised you more and I hope I delivered 😅 I have more ideas with them so let me know if you want me to keep going with these two 😘 (also this bit was fully inspired by this pic of seb lol)

Y'know those compilations on YouTube of men crying when they see their wives walk down the aisle for the first time? The ones where the dude turns around and he's already got snot running down his face and he's just sobbing uncontrollably? Yeah, that's what Bucky looks like right now.

Okay, maybe not that extreme, but he's crying harder than you've ever seen him cry, that's for sure. The image is so shocking you almost throw your bouquet down and run to him. Thankfully, Wanda is there at your side, telling you to be patient and patting your arm that she's holding as she moves you slowly down the aisle.

It feels like eons as you watch Bucky's face contort in what looks like pain from the tears. It's so shocking to you that you almost want to laugh. Tears run into the beard he's grown out since the colder months came and you itch to wipe them away, to scratch your fingers through the coarse growth on his chin like you do when he's curled against your breast at night when neither of you can sleep. Bucky swears it puts you to sleep before it does him and maybe that's true. Maybe you need him as much as he needs you. Maybe more and he doesn't realize it.

Steve's got his bear paw of a hand clapped over Bucky's shoulder like the mass of it will ground him, hold him tight to the earth and remind him that all of it is real. Natasha's waiting for you on your side and crying too but she's a big sap who cries at more than she'd like you to know and she'll stab you before you can say a word about it. You have a scar or two to prove it.

Your hands shake and you're so goddamn close you want to fly the last few steps to him and take him in your arms. Bucky's hands twitch at his sides and you know he's thinking it too. How you don't collide like two freight trains stuck on the same track you'll never know.

You know it's time when Wanda lets go of your arm and pulls you to face her, actually pulls your gaze off of Bucky. She says something to you in Sokovian that you don't understand. Later she'll tell you it's a sort of blessing, an old tradition, and you promise to do the same for her when her day comes.

"Finally."

It's barely a whisper, choked around the syllables, but you hear Bucky when he speaks to you. Loud and clear.

You turn towards the man who's about to become your husband and, after passing Natasha your bouquet without even looking, you take his warm, tear-streaked  face in your hands.

"What's the matter, Soldier? Never seen a pretty dame before?"

He chokes out a laugh and bumps his forehead to yours. His eyes close and open slowly, staring into the depths of you.

"Never one as pretty as you, doll."

🥲

[quietmyfearswith]

slipping into little space ; preferences

warnings — fluff?? mentions of nudity. hints a t sexy times

characters — andy barber, steve rogers, bucky barnes, lance tucker,  syverson, august walker

a/n — THIS IS A DDLG FIC,, was inspired by this ask! to the anon who requested for it i hope you like it and tell me what you think!

their love language | with their little | when you’re insecure

masterlist

Though the Thanksgiving dinner she was preparing was only for her and Andy, Y/N couldn’t help but stress and fret over almost every single thing; she wanted their first celebration of the said holiday to be perfect. Hence why she has been cooped up in the kitchen for almost the whole day, even though the dinner was still tomorrow. She baked a cheesecake and it was now cooling up in the fridge, the vegetable she decided to cut today so come tomorrow all she had to do was cook them, and now as she was marinating the turkey she found herself getting whiny and irritable. Andy entered their home quietly and observed his girl for a little while; her constant texts provided him updates about how hard she was working to perfect their meal tomorrow. And by the looks of it she had been working too much that her entire system was already begging for a break. “You okay in there, baby?” Hearing his voice caused Y/N to look up at him, her eyes glossy and her mouth curled up in a semi-convincing smile. Hanging his jacket by the coat hanger, he also dropped his briefcase by the door and sat on the couch.

“Come on over here, baby,”  He called for her and patted his lap. Y/N opened her mouth and was about to say no, but a stern look from Andy had her not continuing with that plan and instead she just removed her apron, leaving it on the counter, and plopping herself down on his lap. With her chest pressed against his, the lawyer then rubbed her back comfortingly, “I know you had a busy day; haven’t you, baby?” Hearing her mumble yes against his clothes, the man could only chuckle as he further coaxed her, “You can rest now, baby. You can stop being a big girl now; you can be my little missy again.” As if his words flipped a switch, she did find herself ridding of any remaining thoughts about their dinner and instead complied with his request — which was more like a demand. Peering up at him, her eyes were now wide but weren’t glossy, “Hi dada, I missed you.” Pleased with how his girl decided to let loose, Andy planted a deep kiss on her lips and after doing so he peppered kisses all over her face, “I missed you too, little missy. Now how ‘bout we both go take a bubble bath?”

One of August’s hobbies involved him fixing up his bike or adding whatever gadget he felt would look good on his bike. And since he was given a few weeks off, he took the time to get his hands oily and tinkle with his bike — but really the only reason why he was busying himself with the said vehicle was because his lovely girlfriend was busy with her own workload. Wiping his sweat with the shirt he had earlier discarded, August glanced at the clock and saw how it was already nearing the time they usually ate supper. Once entering the inside of their home, he headed straight for the office and was surprised to hear muffled cries coming from the room. Years of doing field work had allowed him to slip in easily without Y/N hearing him; he then listened closely to see if she had been talking to someone that made her cry, but after failing to hear her or someone else make a sound besides her sniffles, it was then that the CIA agent decided to intervene, “What’s wrong, Y/N?”

Her shoulders rose up and down in shock from her boyfriend’s sudden presence — by now she should have been used to his stealthily ways, but her crying lowered down her guard. She weakly pointed to her desk where pens, highlighters, papers, folders, and her laptop were scattered, “Work just got to me; it’s silly.” August, however, didn’t think of it that way and instead was worried his girl might have been overworking herself. Walking towards her, he grabbed both her hands so she could stand, “You’ve been such a good girl huh? Doing her work and working hard,” Part of Y/N was glowing from the praise and reveling in it; while the other part of her was going to complain to him how she still had more work to do. But just as she was going to do so, August lifted her chin so he could look at her, “How bout we eat dinner, hm? What would you like, little one? Some dino nuggies?” At the mention of her favorite food, she nodded her head up and down as she squealed, “Yes, daddy, I want some dino nuggies for supper!” Smiling he wrapped an arm around her shoulders, leading her away from her cause of stress and into the kitchen, “Alright then, some dino nuggies for my little one only because she’s been such a good girl; perhaps a sippy cup as well and some ice cream sandwiches for desert.”

Bucky remembered how he needed some more hair ties for his long hair; Sam somehow thought it was a bright idea to involve his hair ties for one of his pranks wars with Scott. As he and Y/N were on the hair product aisle, he ordered her to stay put by the cart as he quickly grabbed what he was looking for. Though she wasn’t permitted to walk around, her eyes did the wandering and once she had set her sight on a My Little Pony shampoo. She was able to hold herself back from physically cooing at it; Bucky placed some of the hair tie packets on the cart and noticed how his girlfriend’s eyes were trained onto something. “You want that, sweetheart?” Shocked with how casually he offered it to her, she found herself nodding with excitement. Chuckling, the super soldier grabbed a few bottles into their cart and told her how they should get going to pay and go home already.

As they both had paid already for their grocery items and were now driving to their home. “Thank you for buying me that shampoo.” Bucky nodded as he began driving, placing a hand on her thigh, “You can let loose now, sweetie. We’re going home now,” And with that Y/N found herself playing with his hand, a telltale that she was beginning to let herself become little again. “I love you, tătic, I can’t wait for our bath time later.” As they were stopped by a relight, Bucky reached over and planted a kiss on her forehead, “Me too, sweetie; but don’t forget about our playtime alright?”

When Y/N found out that Steve volunteered to be the overall head for the Avengers’ Thanksgiving outreach program, she decided to help along and shoulder half of the responsibilities that had been put on the hero’s shoulder. Which led them to the current situation they were in — they both were sorting out the food that had been cooked by the other team members and agents. “Okay, turkey, veggies, pasta,” Y/N listed out as she put the food in the bag and laid out in front of Steve so that he could place a greeting card on the basket before wrapping it up. “This makes it the 100th basket we did,” Steve took note as he was preparing the next card. 

The next few minutes were filled with hums from the two as a song played on the background while continuing on with their duties. Perhaps it was how repetitive the task got or tired Y/N was in overlooking the whole program, she was too far absent in her mind that she dropped some of the potatoes and made quite a mess. Looking over to Steve, she quickly apologized, “I’m sorry, Steve! I didn’t mean to drop it, I just got tired and was distracted.” Quickly putting down the cards he was holding, he made his way to over where she was and hugged her tight, “I know it was an accident, doll,” He felt his sweater dampen slightly with her tears, he didn’t want her to stop her crying but instead just let her cry out her frustrations. “I might have pushed you to work too much, doll.” She lifted her head up from where it rested on his chest and looked up at him, “You didn’t sir; I just wanted to help you.” Wiping the remainder of her tears, he was quick to counter, “And you were a big help, doll. But it’s time we both took a quick nap before continuing our work, okay? You’ve been such a good doll for me.”

Following Sy’s retirement from the army, he and Y/N decided to accomplish step one of their settling down plan and go buy a house. The move from their apartment to the detached bungalow they purchased had been a big one; but one they absolutely loved and looked forward to. Their new home had been filled with boxes — some were the things they brought from their old residence, while the others were newly purchased furnitures and appliances. “Hey Y/N are our clothes upstairs or in here?” Sy wondered after he walked through the first floor and didn’t catch a glimpse of the bag that contained their clothes. “Shit, hold on I’ll check,” She mumbled to herself and looked at the small notebook she had which contained the information about their move. Upon realizing that the mentioned bag would arrive tomorrow afternoon due to a mix up with the moving company, she could only groan out loud, “God, I’m such an idiot!”

Sy heard her from where she was currently sitting on the floor and pulling her hair out from the pantry, “What’s going on, baby girl?” There was an intention as to why the former Captain had dropped that pet name on her; he was already sensing how the whole move had overwhelmed Y/N and that she was reaching her limit of handling it. It was his way of allowing her to destress and engage in her comfort zone. “I’m sorry Captain, there was a mix up and the bag that had our clothes will be brought here tomorrow. The bags that are in the room are the linens for the bed,” She sobbed out and feared that he’d punish her for stupidity. But that wasn’t what was on the veteran’s mind as he crouched down in his knees and held his girl tight, “It’s okay baby girl, today was real stressful for the both of us,” Feeling her nod against him, he tried his best to reassure her that the day’s gone and it was time to rest, “Don’t worry about the clothes okay? At least they’ll be arriving tomorrow.” Kissing the top of her head, Y/N then asked softly, “What do we do now then?” Lifting her chin with a finger he smirked at her, “Well we can go put some linen and blankets in the bed; then we get to cuddle and sleep naked. How’s that sound, baby?”

When Lance brought up that he wanted to give little tokens of appreciation to his gymnasts for Thanksgiving, Y/N brought up that there were a lot of cute items that his students would love. They both were spending their afternoon on the couch; Lance was watching old performance videos of the gymnasts he was training as well as those of the competitors they were up against. While his girlfriend laid her head on his shoulder, scrolling through Etsy and bookmarking some gifts that stood out to her. There were also a few items that she saved that were things she liked — a stuffie, blanket, sippy cups or some pajamas. As she let out a whine about how cute the items were, the gymnastics coach paused the video he was watching and looked to his side, “What’s that all about?”

Pushing her phone to his sight, Y/N pouted, “I was looking at some gift ideas for your students but somehow I ended up looking at these little space items.” The man beside her chuckled as he took the phone and looked at some of the products she saved, “My angel wants some gifts too, huh?” Bashfully nodding her head, Y/N whispered, “Yes, papa, I do want some.” Swiping through some of the ideas she found he then declared, “And gifts you shall receive, since you’ve been a great help to me all the time, angel.” Y/N then shot up from where she was sitting and litter kisses on Lance’s face, repeatedly thanking him for generosity.

[mourntheantagonist]

#HarringroveApril Day 7: Daisychain

***

“Mr. Harrington? Who’s your favorite student?”

The question came about at least once every year without fail, and he’d always answer in the same, textbook way.

“I don’t have favorites. I love all my kids equally.”

And, deservedly so, the whole class would grunt and moan because they knew just as well as he did that it was a load of bullshit. Steve loved every one of his kids, that part wasn’t a lie, but… he also definitely had his favorites.

For the graduating class of ‘90 when he was only a teaching assistant his name was Daniel. He was the youngest in his class because he started early, and he was incredibly bright. He could count higher, he could read quicker, and his mind just worked in ways that no adult could possibly understand. But it wasn’t the textbook intelligence that made Steve fall for this kid. It was his emotional intelligence. He was funny and he was kind and five year olds were cruel, but he never let that get to him. He had an outlook on life that Steve was jealous of, so when the other kids would turn him down for a game of checkers, Steve would happily join him, because Steve saw it as his job to keep that kid kind.

For the class of ‘91 it was Christopher. He was nothing like Daniel. He was held back and was repeating kindergarten, and that was evident in the way he walked through life. He was quiet and would voluntarily remove himself from the rest of the class. He’d sit by himself and read a book and get frustrated when he didn’t understand one of the words, he would swing by himself and he always tried to sneak off with the first graders when it was time to line up. And Steve perfectly resonated with that feeling of watching all of your friends move on without you. He was left in the dust too. When all his classmates moved on to college or hightailed it out of Hawkins, Steve was left there by himself, working at Family Video with his only friend in the grade below him, and it took her leaving him as well for Steve to finally get his shit together, haul his ass west of the Mississippi, and enroll in a community college and work towards his teaching degree.

And he did it, against all odds and obstacles in his way, he did it. It took extra work and the support of his best friend who he followed, and he did it. He saw himself in Christopher, and he wasn’t going to make that kid wait as long as he did to realize that setbacks don’t define his future.

Steve usually took a liking to the quiet kids, and that only changed in ‘93 with the girl named Amy and the familiar last name. She was loud, vibrant, and everyone loved her. Her smile was contagious and she could be the sweetest little girl at times, but she also wore her heart on her sleeve. She cried quite a bit, just the littlest thing could set her off. A boy accidentally knocking over her blocks, not knowing how to spell a certain word, accidentally coloring outside the lines. She didn’t throw tantrums like he saw in the other kids. She would just bow her head and cry and it would break Steve’s heart every time.

But other than those few moments, she was bright and charismatic and with the last name, the blonde curly hair, and the big personality, Steve really should have put it all together much sooner than he did.

He didn’t put it all together until he saw Billy Hargrove in the soup aisle at the local grocery store wearing a chain of little daisies on his head like a crown, and he knew exactly where it was from.

It was from the little girl named Amy Hargrove who frolicked in the field instead of playing on the playground, collecting flowers that she meticulously made into bracelets and crowns and anything else she put her mind to. She gave them to friends, she even gave one to Steve, and of course she would give one to her dad too.

He looked so different, and yet exactly the same. He still had the damn mullet, just dragging the eighties with him as far as he could, he was a little more cleaned up but still had a similar style to what it was in highschool. Still with the same denim jacket, denim jeans, Canadian tuxedo type deal. In a side by side picture situation you wouldn’t really be able to tell the difference. It wasn’t his dress or his hair or anything physical about him that made him look so different, it was the way that he carried himself. It was the relaxation and the eyes that didn’t droop and the smile lines that didn’t used to be there that made him almost entirely unrecognizable from the Billy Hargrove who pushed freshman against lockers and drove his car too loud and too fast and had cigarettes for three meals a day. Not the kid who ran off to California as soon as the hospital released him with only his Camaro and a small suitcase and a large sum of money the government used to keep his mouth shut, leaving just a note for Max on the fridge that didn’t get any more specific than that about where he was going, not even leaving a phone number for her to contact him with. He also didn’t look like the kid they all pictured in their heads after basically the whole town found out about exactly what Neil Hargrove did to his son behind closed doors.

Steve wanted to go up to him in the store, but he stopped himself. Because Billy left. Without a trace or a word, and who was Steve to think that Billy having to be reminded of something he voluntarily abandoned without a second thought would have any sort of positive outcome?

So he turned down the aisle and kept his distance from the man in the flower crown because he was scared. He wasn’t scared that Billy would see him and turn back to his old ways and hurt him again, he was scared that he’d turn back to his old ways and hurt himself again.

Because he’d been hurt enough already.

Steve successfully avoided Billy until parent teacher conferences had rolled around, and instead of seeing Amy’s mom on the list of names he’d be seeing that day, it was Billy’s.

Steve would be lying if he didn’t think about calling in sick and sending his TA in his place. But he still had to be her teacher for another six months, he just had to get the interaction over with.

Many of the parents that came before Billy had to have known he was on edge about something considering he excessively tapped the table with the eraser of his pencil and stuttered his way through conversations. His organized folders and notes of talking points had been entirely thrown out the window and he was an absolute nervous wreck. And he could only anticipate it being ten times worse when the cause of said anxiety walked through his door with the long hair and the leather jacket. It was only with the help of the little girl in the sunflower dress and daisies in her hair skipping from the entrance to the chair in front of him that calmed his nerves just a bit.

But Billy had just stayed at the door, no movement, and any hope that Steve had that perhaps his new haircut and the glasses on his face would be enough to keep Billy from noticing the obvious vanished when Billy snapped his fingers like the lightbulb in his head finally flickered on.

“I knew it couldn’t be a coincidence.”

Steve just held out his hand to shake like he did with any other parent, unsure how to gage the situation because Billy’s words could go either way and his facial expressions didn’t give him anything to go off of. It would be weird to introduce himself, he didn’t know what to say.

“Hi, I’m Amy’s teacher. Should we start?”

Billy looked a little confused, but he sat down in the little kindergartener chairs anyway. This meeting was almost more organized than the ones prior, likely because he was trying to go as quickly as possible and get it over with. Steve showed Billy some of her artwork and commented on how her reading comprehension was great but she could work on her spelling a little more. He didn’t want to bring it up, but he brought up the crying and it hurt to see how him bringing it up set her off again. The same bowing of the head and quiet sniffles into her sleeve.

But Steve thinks he just fell in love a little watching Billy comfort her. With one hand rubbing circles into her back and the other holding her small hand. Steve feels like shit watching her cry because of him and is also semi-fearful for his life because he already knows he can’t take Billy in a fight.

“Baby, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with crying. It’s okay.”

“You’re dad’s right Amy. I think it’s very healthy. Crying is good for you.”

She looks up at Steve with those big blue eyes and tear stained cheeks when he says that.

“Really?” she asks.

“Yeah! I’d say it even makes you more mature. Even some adults I know don’t let themselves cry and it’s not good.”

“My daddy cries a lot too.”

Steve looks at Billy who’s eyes widen when she says it, then tries to laugh it off like she didn’t just say that.

“Hey Amy, you wanna go and play while your daddy and I talk for a minute?”

She just nods her head and wipes away her remaining tears and quickly hauls the bucket of Lincoln Logs off the shelf.

“So. It’s been a while. Hasn’t it?” Steve starts.

“Yeah it has. So, you’re a teacher now.”

“And you’re a father. That’s crazy.” Steve was fiddling with his hands, trying to make the conversation less awkward. “She’s wonderful by the way.”

“Yeah. She doesn’t get it from me.”

Steve just shakes his head. “No. I don’t think that’s true. She has your charisma, and it appears you found a better way of channeling your emotions since last we saw each other. She’s a lot like you.”

“Thanks.” Billy blushed. He actually blushed. “I don’t know if this is allowed considering you’re her teacher, but would you want to catch up sometime? Maybe dinner or something?”

There it was. That was the olive branch. And Steve would be an absolute fool not to take it.

“I’d love to.”

Before they could come up with a time or a place, Amy was running over to the table with loudly stomping feet.

“I almost forgot! Daddy! show Mr. Harrington what I brought him!”

Billy reached into his pocket upon her demand and pulled out a little bracelet made out of little daisies and honeysuckle and handed it over to Steve.

“Thank you Amy! It’s lovely.”

“Daddy show him yours!”

Steve looked to Billy’s wrist where he slowly lifted his sleeve to reveal an almost exact replica to the bracelet in his hand.

“Looks like we’re matching.”

[thran-duils]

Use All of Me (P.15 -- final)

Title: Use All Of Me (Part Fifteen, Final) Summary: Fem!Reader x Dark Mob!Steve Rogers. The Avengers are heroes saving the world but in this AU, they are also permitted by the powers in charge to have less than favorable business underneath their guise of mere superheroes. Steve and Tony are at the helm, keeping their empire’s wealth in check, both devious and perilous if crossed. Steve takes a liking to the reader at a party and it may be her undoing to her autonomy choosing to go home with him. Words: 2,591 Warnings: Dark AF, angst, emotional/mental abuse, smut, breeding, death Author’s Note: I had a lot of extra things I wanted to add in (not mentioning the two other ways I considered taking the fic) but they were fleeting and not conducive to the plot. Just day to day things and I didn’t want to drag it out more than it needed to be. I am satisfied with this and I hope you guys are too.

Part Fourteen || Masterpost (mobile) || Fanfic masterpost

Steve shook his head, scrolling through his phone across the table from you. His dinner was barely touched he was so engrossed in what he was reading. He must have felt you staring because he looked up, making eye contact with you.

You swallowed and asked now that you had his attention, “What is making you so upset?”

Reluctantly, Steve told you, “Gossip columns. About us. About you.”

“Well, I don’t know about that because I don’t have my phone… or internet access at that.” Steve’s face was stoic at your remark and you shrugged, unable to mask your scorn “You’re the one who put my face out there. Can’t blame people for being concerned about one of their stars.”

“You forced my hand,” Steve told you in a low voice. “Did you not?”

You took another bite of your food, knowing you were toeing a line.

Steve put his phone down, scooting his chair closer to yours, invading your space. “Did you not?” he repeated with more force.

“I did,” you whispered.

His fingers ghosted along the side of your face. “Like I told you… you don’t think about the repercussions of your actions. You were acting unstable. Nothing like yourself. I had to do it to bring you back. I had to do it to keep you safe.”

He was so insistent in his chivalry about whisking you back home, keeping you barred inside. You blocked out what he was saying about you, like he was blaming you for reacting perfectly normally to being kept in a cage. You wanted to move onto something else.

“Did you pay that person… who turned me in?”

“Yes.”

“Are Yua and Natalie back at their jobs?”

“Yes.”

You proposed honestly, “How can I be sure? That you’re telling me the truth? When I cannot even check on them myself?”

“You don’t trust me?” Steve’s eyes were hard, challenging you.

What a loaded question.

“I don’t see any reason why you would lie to me about it,” you lied yourself in response.

Steve looked tickled by your response, but you also sensed displeasure in his tone. “Y/N… I have enough money and power to ruin them if I wanted to. And I wouldn’t keep it a secret from you because there would be a damn good reason I would have done so. And I would want you to know what lesson you were supposed to learn. So, darling, trust me when I tell you that they are okay. I listened to what you requested. I can be reasonable when you behave.” He leaned back, eyes searching your face. He let out a small sigh seeing the meek expression on your face, “Over time you’ll get your phone back... your friends coming around to visit again.”

He was waiting expectantly for you to answer, to say anything.

“I understand.”

Steve’s hand was warm, grasping yours. “You did good, doll face…” he praised gently. “You came back to me. You brought the babies back. I am desperate to see you mothering our children… swelling with more of them.” He reached over, picking up an envelope on top of the stack of papers near him. He held it up to you and said, “And I intend to make good on my word about making it official.”

Steve handed it to you and you took it from him gingerly. Unfolding the papers inside, you looked down at the paper, seeing it was a marriage application.

Confused, you asked, “You… you don’t even want to have a ceremony?”

“Do you want a ceremony?” Steve asked seriously.

“Yes,” you breathed. If you were going to get married, you wanted to at least celebrate it. Have something to look forward to if you were going to be legally bound to him.

“Hmm.” Steve looked contemplative. “I didn’t think you would be interested in that.” He paused, chewing on the thought. He blew a small raspberry, reaching for his phone. “Well, maybe it is a good thing I did float the idea.” He began to hand the phone to you but paused, cocking his head slightly. “Now… I’m gonna let you look at this because Wanda was able to find some beautiful maternity gowns. Tell me what you think of them. Don’t search anything else. Understand?” You nodded and he handed you his phone and you stared down at it, shocked to see wedding gowns.

Being pregnant was not something you had considered for the ceremony. Or particularly wanted for your wedding day photos.

“Do we have to move so quickly?”

“Yes,” Steve responded curtly.

“Why?”

“Because I want it to all be settled before the babies get here.”

The only reason he would want that… he had to have an angle. There must be something that he wanted.

“Can I—”

“Small ceremony, Y/N,” Steve cut you off, as if he knew exactly what you were going to ask. And you could not fathom how he could just read you like a book. It unnerved you. He was observant and it was detrimental to you. “I already have the list and the venue was set.”

“The v-venue?”

He threw you a smirk, “I was banking on you wanting a ceremony.”

So that is what Tony had been talking about.

<><><>

Your hands ran over the gown. The beaded sheer top above your bustline glittered in the light. You were a little chilly with your bare arms, but you barely noticed above your nerves. Surprisingly, you had been left alone in the room serving as the bridal suite. Not that you could make a run for it anyway in this dress and with your stomach. You snorted at the thought of you running down the street; it did calm you down a little.

Yet, you still wished your friends had been able to attend but it was ‘family’ only as Steve had said. And that family meant the team.

The door opened, drawing your attention.

Wanda was standing there, and she stopped, seeing you done up.

“You look lovely,” she said gently, a sincere smile on her face.

You returned her smile, giving a quick nod. You found yourself more often than not, cradling your stomach, and here you were again. You grimaced when one of the twins gave a particularly hard kick and Wanda noticed.

She was at your side immediately, “Are you alright?”

“Yes,” you breathed, nodding. “Would be terrible to have the babies at 28 weeks… far too early.”

“Not uncommon though.” Wanda still sounded unsure.

You waved her off. “I’m fine. Really. They’re just kicking and moving around.”

Wanda relaxed a little and said, “Alright, if you’re sure. Well, they’re ready. Are you?”

Shakily, you told her, “Yes. Yes, of course.”

The room was bright, draped in shades of sky blues. White petals were scattered along the aisle down to where Steve was standing. You breath caught at the sight of him, causing you to hesitate in your stride. Steve looked handsome, so very handsome. Somehow you made it to the end of the aisle, coming to stand in front of him. You hardly could contain the smile that came to you, unable to block out the happiness you felt coming off of him in waves. He looked so sure, so satisfied as he took your hand in his.

His words were sweet, loving. You tried to breathe easy as he slipped the ring on your finger, noticing the hungry look on his eyes. When you were told to kiss, Steve guided you, his lips dominating yours.

Signing away on the marriage certificate, you noticed his lips twitch watching you. He was elated. He was getting exactly what he wanted… you. Forever.

The night would have gone smoothly if you had not felt another hard kick from the babies. It felt different. It was not a normal kick.

Your fork clattered to your plate over your dinner at the bridal table. Your hand came to your stomach, your face twinged in pain.

Steve’s laugh faltered, his attention drawn from Bucky next to him.

“Y/N?” he asked, his tone suddenly serious. Bucky was leaning forward, sharing Steve’s look of concern.

Trying to play it off, you nodded with difficulty. “Yeah, I’m fine.” Another kick hit and you grimaced, a sharp gasp leaving your mouth. “Okay, maybe I’m not.”

Steve was standing and staring down at you in worry. The rest of the team had noticed and were hanging in suspension as they realized there was something wrong.

“I’ll get the car,” Steve declared. “Tony, Bucky, can you help her outside? I’m getting the car.”

Without waiting for them to answer, Steve was already halfway to the door, his stride quick.

Tony and Bucky were there, hands holding you as they helped you stand. You whimpered, your belly tight, soreness swirling in your hips and lower back. You had had period cramps before but this was something else entirely.

You felt wet and looked down at your legs. Your dress was soaked in a stream and you let out a strangled noise. Your water was broken and panic began to set in.

“Oh, boy, yeah,” Tony said sounding like he was trying to keep himself calm since he noticed it as well as him and Bucky helped you walk towards the door.

“I’m not ready,” you begged, tears welling up in the corner of your eyes. “I’m not ready!”

“I don’t think you’ve got much of a say in the matter,” Tony told you, trying to make a joke. He gave a small laugh, but you could tell he was nervous. You cried out and he quickly held to you as your knees threatened to buckle underneath you. “Oh, shit. Okay. Keep steady, sweetheart.”

“I can’t!” you snapped at him.

Tony closed his mouth.

Bucky grunted as your legs quivered and you leaned into him as you reached the door. They helped you down the stairs as carefully as they could as you heard tires squeal to a stop at the curb. Steve had been speeding from the parking garage.

Steve got halfway out of the car, but Bucky said, “We got it. Don’t worry.”

They helped you get into the front seat of the car and you gripped the sides of the chair, closing your eyes as another contraction rumbled through you. You heard Bucky get into the backseat of the car and slam the door closed.

Steve took off quickly, promising you he would get you to the hospital as quickly as possible. He was doing well hiding his anxiousness, channeling it into assuring you and telling you it was going to be okay.

<><><>

“It was the goddamn stress!” Steve grated furiously. “She should have stayed home! She shouldn’t have run off! Why was she so stupid?”

He was pacing angrily in one of the waiting rooms down the hallway. Y/N had given birth to both of the babies, far prematurely. They had both been whisked away to the NICU without Y/N and Steve both given much time to see them, let alone hold them. They were reassured they would be able to visit once the babies were set up safely. It did not sit well with Steve. Y/N was exhausted and was having trouble staying awake, so he had left the room when he was sure she was alright. She needed rest.

But now that he was out of the height of the situation, anger began swirling at the risk she had been put at along with the babies.

The team had shown up, still dressed in their wedding attire.

No one argued with Steve. He might very well have a valid point about it and saying anything to the contrary was not going to calm him down.

Steve ground his teeth, hands coming to his hips in frustration.

“They said the babies are alright though?” Natasha finally spoke.

Steve looked over at her and shrugged, “I think. I don’t know. They said they needed to be put on oxygen. That doesn’t sound good to me.”

“It’s probably precautionary, Steve,” Pepper offered gently.

Finding an empty chair, Steve sat down in it heavily, resting his elbows on his thighs. His eyes swept around the room, taking everyone in. He could see the unquiet in their expressions, their worry for him. He was supposed to be the one keeping everyone levelheaded; that was his job. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes for just a moment. He just needed a moment to compose himself and be strong for everyone else.

When he opened them again, he said, “It better be. It’s gotta be.”

<><><>

Steve was there when your eyes fluttered open. It took a few moments for your eyes to adjust to the light in the room, even though it was dimmed. You focused in on the sheets and your gown. And then you felt the remnants of pain in your lower half, even though it was dull now.

It all hit you at once and you tried to sit up too quickly. You gasped in pain and Steve was halfway out of his chair.

“You’re fine,” he said in a rush, his hands coming to your arms. His eyes were swimming with worry. “Don’t get up, Y/N. You need to rest.”

Breathing erratically, you looked at him in alarm. “T-the babies?”

“They’re in the NICU,” Steve assured you quickly. “One is breathing on her own, the other is on tubes. But they think that he will be able to breath on his own soon.”

You stared at him and demanded, “You’ve seen them?”

“Yes. You did too. Briefly.”

That came back to you too. You had seen them. You had been awake for everything. But the exhaustion had taken over.

“But… you saw them? Without me?” you asked weakly.

“Yeah,” Steve admitted, slowly sitting back down in his chair. “I haven’t held them, but I’ve seen them. Through the window.” His hands rubbed your arms affectionately. “Y/N, doll face, really. You need to lie back. You lost a lot of blood.” That’s when you noticed the IV and everything attached to you. “They treated you and replaced but you’re still going to be weak.”

You did as he asked, lying back on the plethora of pillows behind you. He physically relaxed at you reclined, but he was still leaning towards you, ever watchful.

His tone was sympathetic, “I don’t like you sick. I don’t like worrying about you. I’m supposed to protect you.” His thumb traced across your lips, concern swimming in his eyes now. “I hope though you’ll take something from this… that you’ll think twice about being reckless. I don’t want our future children being put through this, Y/N. I don’t want you being put through this. I want you to be secure, relaxed… safe under my watch.”

Steve’s other hand came to rest on your stomach and you felt a sense of foreboding flooding in. His closed mouth smile conveyed confidence, his hand gently caressing. “Despite all of that stress though… you pulled through. You are special, Y/N. I can’t wait to watch you swell again.” He was sincere, gaze intense, and his fingers holding you close. “You are the most important thing to me. I’ll make sure next time goes more smoothly for you. I’ll be there every step of the way next time.”

He leaned in close now, his lips brushing against your ear, “You’re all in my custody now. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

~~~

Tags: @imsonick , @alexakeyloveloki, @kvzctam, @ironlady1993, @taintedgenre, @inlovewiththefictionalcharacters @roxyfan14-blog @mrsnegan25 @coconutqueen21

[darter-blue]

And now for some stucky fluff...

Read it here on ao3

Or part one, two, three, four on tumblr

Bucky’s sense has left him. It left him somewhere back on the dance floor. Maybe even before then.

It’s entirely possible that in fact he’s never had any.

He spent too long talking at Steve about particles… about soulmates… about whatever it is that's happening between them. And by some miracle, Steve is still listening, still looking at Bucky like he’s interesting, like his words mean something. And Bucky needs to harness that. Needs to grab at it before it slips through his fingers.

So he quits his yapping. He grabs Steve and he pulls at him again, marvels at the complete lack of resistance there, at the way Steve just follows him. When he dares to look back over his shoulder, Steve is still there, still staring at Bucky as if he is something wondrous. Somehow not tripping, or faltering, despite not watching at all where he’s going and or paying any kind of attention to the people or the noise or the chaos of the casino around them.

Steve’s eyes are only for Bucky.

Even as Bucky pulls them through the garishly painted doors. Even as Bucky leads him into madness.

Bucky turns away from Steve to face forward, to push clear of the doors and let them swing closed behind them.

It’s much quieter in the chapel.

Bucky sweeps his eyes from right to left and takes in the pastel pink walls, the blue ribbons along the pews, the couple chatting at the top of the aisle. One dressed as Elvis - white jumpsuit and cape, big hair, sunglasses, guitar flung over one shoulder, not slim, but filling out that jumpsuit nicely all the same - the other wearing a hot pink t-shirt that reads ‘we will wed you’ in white lettering across the chest and a fifties retro polka dot skirt.

They both look up as Steve and Bucky enter.

‘He-ey,’ the man dressed as Elvis says, smile and eyes widening as he looks past Bucky and up and up to Steve, then back down and up again. One eyebrow raising in slight disbelief, no doubt, at the existence of such a perfect being.

Bucky can’t blame him.

‘Welcome, welcome!’ the woman in hot pink says, coming forward, arms outstretched, ‘hello boys!’

‘Hello,’ Bucky says, smiling at her exuberance, and her very excellent blond bee-hive up-do, and slows to a stop about halfway down the aisle.

‘Ma’am,’ Steve says, affability dripping from the buttery smooth tone in his voice, coming to a stop on Bucky’s right.

‘Oh, you two look like a match made in heaven!’ the woman says, stopping a few feet from them, she holds up her hands and makes a frame with her fingers, placing Bucky and Steve in it and looking through at them with one narrowed eye. ‘Oh yes. Beautiful, beautiful.’

‘Uh…’ Bucky starts, and falters. At a loss for exactly how to proceed.

He looks up at Steve and Steve looks down at him with an encouraging smile, slides an arm around Bucky’s waist and squeezes him closer.

‘We umm… do we have to make an appointment?’

‘You two?’ the woman says, eyeing them both up and down, ‘no appointments necessary, come come come.’ She spins around and starts heading towards Elvis, checking back to make sure Bucky and Steve are following her, ‘Come with me, I’m going to take care of everything.’

‘Okay,’ Bucky says, looking up and Steve and shrugging his shoulders.

Steve laughs and squeezes Bucky tighter, walking them down the aisle together. ‘How do you make everybody fall in love with you like this, Buck?’

‘Me?’ Bucky says, laughing and shaking his head at Steve. As if Steve has no idea of the kind of magnetism he’s exuding. The uncanny resemblance he has to a greek god.

‘Yes, definitely you,’ Steve says, ‘People are never this easy with me.’

‘I am,’ Bucky says truthfully. Everything about Steve screams home to Bucky. Screams safety and happiness. Bucky couldn’t be anything but easy with him.

‘Yes you are,’ Steve says softly. Squeezing Bucky again. He’s going to have to stop doing that, it's so warm, his arm is so strong, his hand is so big, Bucky feels encased by him. It’s dangerously addictive. Bucky wants to lean into it and let himself go.

But, actually, why can't he? This is a chapel, they are about to leap into the craziest decision Bucky has ever made in his life... So Bucky does lean into it. Lets his side press into Steve, lets them fit together like a solved puzzle.

‘Okay boys, we have some forms, we have some catalogues,’ the woman says, gesturing them into a room off to the side of the chapel, ‘I need you to put your decision making hats on, okay? We have about thirty minutes before the next couple comes in and I want to slot you right in, yes?’

‘Okay,’ Bucky and Steve say together, nodding their heads.

‘Good, good. So take a look over these, sign them, pick your rings and I’ll charge them all to your room. You’re staying in the casino right?’

‘Yes,’ Steve says, moving forward before Bucky can answer, ‘Charge it to my room, please.’

Steve starts pulling out his wallet, shows his identification and takes the pen the lady offers him, and Bucky watches with a sort of fascination, as Steve becomes completely in control.

‘Steve Rogers,’ the woman says with a smile Bucky doesn’t understand. Knowing, familiar. ‘I’m Mavis, it’s so lovely to meet you.’

‘And you,’ Steve says. He opens his arm out to Bucky to gesture him forward, and slides it around Bucky’s shoulder when he gets close enough. ‘This is Bucky.’

‘James Buchanan Barnes,’ Bucky says, holding out a hand for Mavis to shake, ‘pleasure to meet you, Mavis.’

‘Oh well you are just the sweetest thing,’ Mavis says with a chuckle, her cheeks blushing, ‘absolutely adorable.’ She pushes a catalogue towards Bucky, ‘Find your rings, darlin’ while Steve here fills out the paperwork. I just need some signatures from both of you and I’ll set up everything with Larry over there,’ she points to Elvis who waves back at them from the altar, ‘while you pop out and find yourselves a witness.’

‘Can’t you be our witness, Mavis?’ Bucky asks. He doesn’t want to unpack the kind of recklessness that it takes to be getting married in a seedy casino wedding chapel and needing to nab random strangers to be their witnesses.

‘Oh of course I will, darlin’ boy, but you need two. And Larry is the officiator, he can’t be a witness I’m afraid.’

‘It’s no problem,’ Steve says, looking up from the paperwork and handing Bucky the pen, ‘You sign these and pick out the rings, Buck, I’ll go grab somebody.’

‘Ahh... sure,’ Bucky takes the pen and watches as Steve takes off on a mission, ‘I’ll just… pick out my wedding ring from this plastic catalogue…’

‘Okay,’ Mavis says, bustling about in the small room and not watching Bucky at all, ‘Here are your complimentary t-shirts,’ she pulls some material from a storage box under the counter, ‘here is your album,’ Mavis plonks a hot pink vinyl photo album right next to Bucky’s ring catalogue, ’and here’s your notepad.’

‘Notepad?’ Bucky looks at Mavis and then down at the small notepad, blue and pink and with a vegas sign as a watermark in the background.

‘You might want to jot some quick vows down, honey.’

‘Oh.’

It occurs to Bucky, as he looks down at his coloured notepad, at the ring catalogue on laminated sheets of pink paper, at the t-shirts Mavis has put down for them on the counter, that this is perhaps a terrible mistake.

And then he looks a little closer at one of the rings on the last page… plain white gold (plated, he’s guessing) flat bands with an inscription on the inside that reads, ‘For we are but two halves, together whole’ and wonders if in fact it's the opposite of a mistake.

What if this is fate?

‘Bucky, I found somebody,’ Steve comes tearing back into the chapel followed by a dazed looking man, wide eyed and smiling, looking up at Steve as if he just met the messiah. ‘This is Scott.’

‘Hi Scott,’ Bucky says, dragging the man’s attention away from Steve, ‘thank you so much for doing this.’

‘Are you kidding?’ Scott says, beaming back up at Steve, ‘for this guy? Anything.’

He looks starstruck - Bucky can totally understand where he’s coming from.

Scott is absolutely bouncing on the balls of his feet, ‘You are a lucky guy, Bucky.’

Bucky looks at Steve, who is looking worriedly between Scott and Bucky, reminding Bucky momentarily of a confused puppy, and has to wholeheartedly agree.

‘You still sure about this, Buck?’ Steve asks, puppy dog eyes kicking into full gear.

Bucky can’t help but smile. ‘I um… found these I sort of like,’ Bucky says in lieu of an answer, pointing to the picture of the rings on the laminated page, ‘what do you think?’

Steve looks down at them, at the inscription decsribed underneath the picture and looks back up at Bucky with the softest, sweetest smile. ‘They look perfect.’

‘Yeah? You think so?’

‘I do.’

And Bucky’s heart melts. He feels the warmth of it spread right through his chest.

‘Perfect!’ Mavis cries, swooping in to grab the catalogue and disappear into the chapel, yelling back ‘get yourselves to the altar boys!’

‘I guess we ah… head out there?’ Bucky gestures over his shoulder with his thumb, to the altar, ‘let me just um…’ he jots down a few lines and then rips the page off and hands the notepad to Steve, ‘for your vows.’

‘Ahh…’ Steve looks adorably terrified at the notepad Bucky has just handed him and looks over at Scott who is smiling at both of them now.

‘You guys look good together,’ Scott says, grabbing them both around their biceps and pushing them together, ‘this is really special. Thanks for letting me be a part of this, Cap.’

‘You’re welcome,’ Steve says, calm but bemused as Scott’s hands keep squeezing.

Bucky looks up at Steve and then back at Scott who almost seems to be tearing up.

‘You guys know each other?’

‘I wish,’ Scott says, shaking his head with a laugh, ‘what a dream this night has turned out to be.’

And Bucky can’t help but laugh. It’s just crazy enough to be perfect for this evening. ‘For you and me both,’ Bucky says. And Scott squeezes his arm a little tighter. ‘We even have this t-shirt for you.’

Scott takes the t-shirt Bucky offers him reverently. ‘Viva las witness,’ he says with awe. ‘This is amazing.’

‘And for you, sir,’ Bucky says, handing one to Steve.

‘Thank you, Buck’ Steve says, standing back from them both to pull off the button down he’s wearing.

Bucky can’t stop the gasp that escapes as Steve’s shirt slides down his arms to reveal the wide expanse of chiseled porcelain perfection underneath.

Steve smiles at Bucky’s no doubt slack jawed expression but Bucky can’t look away. It’s… a lot. IKt’s more muscle than Bucky has ever seen on a real live person. Toned and smooth and carved out of marble.

What is Bucky getting himself into?

Steve is pulling the pink ‘groom’ shirt over his chest and down over his washboard abs and Bucky has to hold his hand back from reaching out to touch him, to slip his fingers under the soft material of the t-shirt.

‘Your turn, Buck,’ Steve says, staring at Bucky with one eyebrow raised, handing him the blue shirt.

‘Uh-uh.’ Bucky shakes his head. 'Nope, not after that,' he waves his hand in the direction of Steve's chest, 'no thank you.'

'Buck?'

'I don't look anything like that.'

'Nobody looks anything like that,' Scott says, his eyebrows still at his hairline.

'Scott, could you give us five minutes?'

'Yeah, I'll just…' Scott backs out of the room and towards the altar, 'let me choose you some music. Be right back.'

'Bucky,' Steve steps closer as Scott disappears, 'you don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with.'

Bucky lets him closer, but doesn't move.

'But this,' Steve puts his hands to his giant pecs, nearly breaking through the t-shirt, 'this is not what makes me, me.'

'I know,' Bucky tucks his hair behind his ear, nodding his head 'I know that.' He does know that. But it’s hard to not be intimidated by his perfection.

'And as beautiful as you are,' Steve says, reaching out to take Bucky's hand and hold it, put it up against Bucky’s chest, 'this isn't what makes you, you.' Steve presses the finger of his free hand against Bucky’s forehead. 'This is, Buck. This is you, yes?'

'Yes.' And it’s true. He forgets that sometimes but it’s true.

'And it's amazing, you're amazing.'

'I am?' Is he? Bucky doesn’t feel amazing. He feels like he’s just scraping by most of the time.

'You are.'

Steve is looking down at him with so much affection, Bucky knows it’s not a line. It’s what Steve really thinks.

'You are too,' Bucky lifts his own free hand to touch Steve's forehead, 'you're so lovely.'

Steve leans in as Bucky traces his hand down to his cheek and rests his forehead against Bucky's. 'You don't have to wear the t-shirt, Bucky,' Steve says softly, running his hand through Bucky’s hair, 'You don't ever have to do anything you don't want to do.'

Steve's hands on him are like a balm. They radiate care and calm, and they speak Steve's truth.

Bucky’s insecurity washes away. He wants to be part of this. He wants to be all in. 'I do want to wear the t-shirt,' Bucky whispers, 'It's cute.'

Steve laughs and almost snorts. 'It's perfect for you.' Steve nods. 'Want me to give you some privacy?'

'No,’ Bucky doesn’t want Steve to go anywhere. ‘No I want you to help me.’

Bucky takes Steve’s hands in his own and places them gently at the hem of his t-shirt - faded and worn and washed too many times, all the more comfortable because of it.

Steve slides his hands up under the hem and over the bare skin above Bucky’s waistband, dragging the tips of his fingers across Bucky’s stomach. Bucky breaths in a sharp gasp of air as Steve’s thumb runs over his hip bone.

‘Gorgeous,’ Steve sighs the word, his breath on Bucky’s lips, he’s so close.

Bucky lifts his arms to let Steve run his fingers up further, taking the material of the shirt with him and lifting it slowly over Bucky’s head. He runs his hands back down Bucky’s chest, fingertips burning into Bucky’s skin, charged and electric.

They slow at Bucky’s stomach, sliding around the smooth, slightly rounded softness of Bucky’s waist to settle on his hips, rubbing circles over the bone with his thumbs.

‘Beautiful,’ Steve whispers, ‘you’re perfect, Bucky.’

‘Thank you,’ Bucky whispers back. Not because Steve has said it, but because he’s made Bucky believe it.

Steve’s nuzzles closer, reaching up to kiss his lips against Bucky’s forehead, Bucky settles his hands on Steve’s chest, up to Steve’s shoulders and around his neck-

‘Showtime boys!’ Mavis says, bursting into the room and then throwing a hand over her eyes as Steve and Bucky jump apart, ‘Oops! Sorry, but you need to get your sweet little butts out there, we’re running out of time.’

‘Yep, sorry, sorry,’ Bucky grabs for the blue t-shirt, ‘Elvis said we do’ plastered across the front in bright pink lettering, ‘coming right out.’

‘Better late than never,’ Mavis says with a wink to Steve and Bucky laughs at the blush that creeps into his cheeks.

‘Shit,’ Steve writes quickly in the notepad as they both hustle out to the altar, Scott off to the side pairing his phone with the sound system as ‘Fools rush in’ starts up over the speakers and Larry-Elvis smiles down at them as they move into position on either side of where he stands a step above them.

Steve tucks the notepad into his pocket and shuffles his feet. Bucky stands straight and reaches for his hands, pulls them into the space between them, holds them there, safe between Bucky’s own.

‘Welcome folks,’ Larry-Elvis drawls, ‘We’re gonna keep this short and sweet, I as a certified official in the state of Nevada, do preside over these two young men, to bring them together in holy matrimony-’

Steve catches Bucky’s eye and bites his lip. Bucky can only look back and try and keep from vibrating out of his skin.

‘-James Buchanan Barnes, did you have some words for Steve,’

‘Ah, yep…’ Bucky says, grabbing the torn out page from the pocket of his jeans, ‘Ah, Steven-’

‘-Grant,’ Steve says quietly.

‘Steven Grant Rogers, somehow it feels like I’ve known you forever. Somehow I feel like tonight I have met the kindest, most wonderful man in the world.’

‘It’s so true,’ Scott says quietly from behind them, and it makes Bucky smile.

‘Whatever brought us together, whatever force has drawn us to each other… It feels like fate, Steve. I think maybe you’re my person.’

Steve is nodding, smiling, he squeezes Bucky’s fingers.

‘And Steve?’ Larry-Elvis asks, ‘did you have words too, son?’

‘Yeah I…’ Steve doesn’t reach for his notepad, he looks at Bucky and squares his shoulders, lifts his chin, ‘James Buchanan Barnes, my heart knows you. However our particles have danced together through time, I found you here and now, and I’m going to hold on for as long as I can-’

‘Oh, god,’ Scott sobs behind them.

‘-I think you’re right about fate, Buck, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life, just being a part of yours.’

‘Beautiful!’ Mavis cries, running over with the rings, ‘Rings boys, time to wrap it up.’

Bucky has to smile at the chaos, at Steve’s face as he bites his cheek and tries not to laugh. He checks back at Scott to see him taking video of the ceremony and hopes that he can watch this in the morning, sober, and remember how light his heart is right now.

‘That was beautiful, Steve-Steve Rogers,’ Bucky says leaning in to whisper.

‘You’re beautiful,’ Steve says back and they smile at each other like idiots as Mavis hands them their rings and the song fades out on Elvis singing about falling in love. It couldn’t be more perfect.

‘You may kiss the groom, fellas,’ Larry says with a sweeping hand, ‘I now pronounce you husband and husband.’

And all of the noise fades away around them as Steve steps in, brings their joined hands up to their chests and reaches down to rest his lips against Bucky’s.

‘May I?’ he whispers against Bucky’s mouth.

‘Fuck yes,’ Bucky whispers back, and Steve laughs as he closes that last tiny distance, presses his warm lips softly to Bucky’s and opens them just enough to fit their mouths together.

The tenderness of it has Bucky in freefall.

He sighs into the taste of Steve’s lips, the luscious sweep of them against Bucky’s, and Steve has to let go of Bucky’s hands to reach around and grab him, take Bucky’s weight where he has dropped into Steve’s hold, pressing deeper into the kiss as he does, opening wider to it, gently nudging his tongue against Bucky’s and Bucky pushes back, licks softly into Steve’s mouth, sucks at the plumpness of his bottom lip, reaches his hands up around Steve’s neck and holds on.

The bang of the confetti canon has Steve snapping back up to standing, pulling Bucky with him and wrapping his arms around him, as if to shield him. Looking up and then back at Bucky as the coloured paper rains down on them.

Bucky can't help huffing a happy laugh at his husband. His husband.

‘Congratulations!’ Mavis and Larry-Elvis and Scott all cry from around them, but Bucky’s world is all and only Steve right now. The crystal clear blue of his eyes, the rose of his cheeks, the sharp nose and pink lips, and the look of absolute adoration on his face.

‘Wanna get out of here?’ Bucky asks.

Steve smiles even wider, ducks his head to kiss Bucky again, slow and soft and sweet and whispers into Bucky’s mouth, ‘I do.’

It’s perfect.

[wonderswritings]

Goodbye

Summary: Saying goodbye is the hardest thing to do, especially when you love them. Pairings: Steve Rogers x Reader Warnings: Death, Angst Word Count: 1157 Square Filled: Hologram AN: Written for @star-spangled-bingo​ SSB Spring Flash Bingo 2021

His chest was heaving as he stepped over the rubble, the sight in front of him causing him to jerk to a stop as he gasped.

“No. No, no, no!”

He pulled his helmet off, letting it fall to the ground before he rushed forward, falling to his knees. Hesitantly he reached out, gently turning her so she was lying on her back, tears streaming down his face as he shook his head.

“No.”

She looked, peaceful, except she wasn’t breathing, and there wasn’t a pulse. He leaned down, softly pressing his lips to hers as he closed her eyes.

“I’m so sorry. I-I love you.”

“Steve?”

Steve sniffled, turning. Bucky was standing at the top of the destruction, blood dripping from his forehead. Steve shook his head, tears welling in his eyes as Bucky walked towards him.

“Sh-she’s gone.”

Bucky sighed, reaching out and placing his hand on Steve’s shoulder.

“St-”

“She’s gone and I wasn’t here to protect her.”

Bucky knelt down beside Steve, pulling him into his side as Steve sobbed.

“I love you.”

Steve looked up from where he was sitting, looking over at YN.

“What?”

She grinned, dropping her head into the crook of her arm, slightly shaking her head.

“You heard me.”

Steve shook his head, setting his book down as he stood up.

“I don’t think I did. Say it again, please?”

She smiled as she turned so she was laying on her back as he climbed into bed with her.

“I love you.”

Steve tightened his grip on the casket handle as they walked down the aisle, his face red with tears. This wasn’t supposed to happen. They weren’t supposed to be apart, they weren’t supposed to end this way. They were supposed to get married, watch their kids grow, play with their grandkids, grow old together. But instead he’s saying goodbye, and he’s burying his heart. 

“What about this one?”

Steve looked over at where Bucky was standing, looking down at the ring he was holding, slightly making a face.

“I don’t know, it’s-”

“Too much?”

Steve sighed, shrugging as Bucky handed the ring back to the salesperson. 

“I- I want her to look at and see how much she means to me.”

Bucky sighed, shaking his head.

“Come on punk, you know YN, she doesn’t care about the size of the diamond or whatever. She loves you. You. Besides, your actions’ll show her how much she means to you.”

Steve felt his heart break with each sound of the shovel hitting the dirt, the sound of the dirt hitting the casket ringing in his ears. He was the last to step forward, the shovel practically weighing him down as he shoveled a pile of dirt onto the casket, flashes of their past and their future passing in front of him. He tightened his grip on the shovel, taking a deep breath as he closed his eyes.

“I love you YN, forever and always.”

Steve hesitated in the doorway to their room, but with a deep breath he walked forward, the door closing softly behind him. Looking around he felt the tears welling in his eyes again as he saw her blanket tossed over the side of the couch, her swords leaning up against the wall leading to their room, his hoodie she had ultimately claimed as hers laying on the edge of the bed, her side of the bed unmade, the extra blanket she used tangled with the comforter, her boots he always tripped on no matter where she put them kicked to the side of the room. Steve sat down on the edge of the bed, placing his head in his hands, his shoulders shaking as he cried. He looked up, clenching his jaw before he jumped up, grabbing things and throwing them, flipping things over. He fell to his knees when the room was destroyed, his chest heaving when something caught his eye. He reached over, picking it up. It was a sleek, silver disk, except there was a red line around the edges compared to YN’s other disks that she frequently used. Steve ran his fingers over it, making a face when there was a beeping sound, gasping when an image appeared, dropping the disk to the floor, the image flickering before a bigger image appeared, tears welling in his eyes again when he saw her standing in front of him in her mission outfit. She smiled softly, offering a small wave.

“Hey Stevie. I- I didn’t want to do this, not like this anyway but, I knew-”

She shook her head, making a face.

“No, that’s not right. I had a feeling, a nagging voice inside my head telling me that I needed to do this. This mission, it’s not going to be like the other’s, it’s, this is the end of the line. There’s going to be losses, some really close to home, and I don’t know, but I have a feeling that after today, things are going to be different. We- if you’re seeing this an-and I’m not with you, then I am so sorry. I’m so freaking sorry. I love you. I have always loved you, and I always will love you. I’m such an ass for doing this.”

She shook her head, breathing a half laugh as she reached up, wiping her cheeks.

“But I can’t, I need you to promise me something. And you can hate me for it, I know I would hate you if roles were reversed, but I-I need you to promise me that you won’t let this stop you from living your life. You’re a wonderful person Steve, and you deserve the world. You deserve to be happy, you deserve to be loved and be in love. I’m sorry that it isn’t me. I really, really wish it was me but-”

She shook her head, sniffling as she smiled softly.

“I just need you to know that. I love you. I love you but please, please don’t let this hold you back. Don’t ignore the others, don’t push them away. They’re only trying to help. And don’t, don’t dwell on the could be. We would’ve been great together, we were great together, but now, now you get to be great with someone else, someone who can offer you all the happiness in the world. Just, promise me that you’ll find someone who loves you for you, that makes you happy. Have the white picket fence, the two kids and a dog, the apple pie life. But don’t do it for me, do it for you.”

“YN1 Come on, we’ve got to go!”

She turned, nodding before she turned back around, smiling softly.

“I guess it’s time to go, I-I’ll see you soon Steve. I love you, so freaking much.”

She blew a kiss before she turned, the hologram flickering away. Tears were streaming down his face, his shoulders shaking.

“I-I love you too.”

Likes are loved. Reblogs are gold. Comments feed me.

Caps Tags

[rogerslovesstark]

Regret Can Only Come so Late

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader, Dolores x Bucky Barnes, Bruce Banner x Reader

Word Count: 1.4k

WARNING: angst

Author’s Note: Lol, i found out my boyfriend of two and a half years was cheating on me with his coworker, so this came pretty fucking easily. 

He stared at your wedding photos, he looked so handsome in his tuxedo, you in a white silk wedding gown, both of you grinning from ear to ear. How much can change in nine years? Over nine years, you and Bucky had two kids, a boy, and a girl. Only two months after your son, George, was born did you find out that you were also 3 weeks pregnant with your daughter, Winnifred. George was born in January and Winnie was born in November. Raising two kids at such a close age was difficult, especially with both of you working basically on the same schedule. Both of you had come to an agreement that you would leave your job to raise the kids. And it worked for so long until Bucky had gotten bored of the same routine over and over again. Waking up every morning to run with Steve, get ready for work, help fight bad guys with the Avengers, leave by 5:30pm, be home by 6pm, shower, eat dinner at the dining room table, watch TV with you and the kids, put the kids to sleep at 8:30pm, spend an hour with you, get ready for bed and be in bed by 10, all to repeat the same thing every day. There was no excitement in his life, not until he met Dolores.

He called her Dot for short, she was a young 23-year-old who knew how to party hard and fuck even harder. It started as a casual thing, nothing serious, just messing around after work, telling you that he had gone out with the team for a few drinks after a long day at work. You believed it, you would have never thought that Bucky would cheat on you, not when you had a family. There were no signs that it was coming, you and Bucky had sex almost every night. He held you while you both slept, talked to you like he still loved you. When he handed you the divorce papers, saying he couldn’t do it anymore, you basically lost your mind, thankfully the kids were at Uncle Tony’s for a day with their favorite friend, Morgan. “What the fuck is this shit Bucky, what do you mean you can't do this anymore? Was it something I did?” You begged him to tell you, Bucky just stared out the window, wondering if you would just stop talking. “Y/n, would you just shut up, you’re so overbearing and boring, I need some spice in my life, not the same thing over and over every single day.” Your heart broke even more at his response, had he really fallen out of love with you? The divorce happened quickly, Bucky said you could keep the house but you insisted that you wanted nothing from him, the only connection that you two would have was through your children. You both had agreed to joint custody, you had the kids 5 days a week and Bucky got them on weekends. George and Winnie were able to adapt to the change rather quickly, they were obviously upset that you and Bucky weren’t together anymore but after a while, they had gotten over it. They were both eight when their parents split up. After a month of being divorced, the tabloids broke the news that Bucky Barnes had a new woman on his arm, with a huge engagement ring on her finger. You cried so hard that night, George and Winnie held you while you just broke down in front of your children. She was the cause of your divorce, Dolores. Only after two weeks of being engaged had they tied the knot, Winnie as a flower girl and George as the ring bearer. You received the invite but declined, just seeing a picture of the two of them made you feel nauseous. After the last court case, you didn’t see Bucky, only some dry text messages between both parties in regards to the kids. Three years after the divorce you decided that too was time for you to start dating again, you meet a nice man named Bruce Banner, one of Bucky’s team members. You both studied in similar fields so your conversations were nowhere near boring. After a few dates, Bruce decided to ask you to be his girlfriend and you were overjoyed. Still cautious about him since the trust issues you had developed from the divorce with Bucky. After almost two years of being with Bruce, he had asked you to marry him, you said yes of course, but news rang out into the media that the Hulk had a new woman in his life. Bruce kept it a secret from the team, determined to make sure that you were the right one for him. Once he was sure, he had let the team know what was going on. Bucky was shocked, the news left him breathless, you had moved on, genuinely moved on, and with Bruce none the less. The kids loved Bruce, raved about him whenever they could while they were with their father. They only met Bruce after the two of you got engaged but they fell in love with him instantly. That didn’t sit right with Bucky, the kids didn’t get along with Dot at all, Winnie said that Dot was strange, she would only speak to them when Bucky was around. The invitation to the wedding came a few months after you had announced your engagement. Bucky sat in the bathroom in silence, his hand covering his mouth with tears running down his face. He didn’t understand why he was feeling this way. He left you because the relationship became stagnant, nobody was benefitting from it, he harbored no romantic feelings towards you because he was falling in love with Dot. If he had no feelings towards you, why was he crying in the bathroom over a wedding invitation? The wedding crept up on you so quickly you hadn’t even realized that four months had passed. You were about to walk down the aisle to your future husband, the love for your life, you could be more excited. Bucky heard the doors open and he held his breath, scared to look, the past four months had been filled with self-reflection, Bucky knew what he was feeling, he was feeling resentment towards Bruce for trying to take his spot as the dad in his family. Bucky turned to watch you walk down the aisle, his eyes flooded with tears immediately, there you were, still as beautiful as the day he met you. A heavy feeling filled his chest and he couldn’t explain what he was feeling, all he knew was that you looked so beautiful, the lace dress was completely different from the silk dress you had worn at your first wedding. You looked so stunning that Bucky forgot how to breathe. He watched as you walked and he couldn’t help but imagine himself at the end of the aisle, waiting to take your hand and make you his forever. But he had that chance and he blew it. The heavy ring and Dot’s hand in his left hand made it feel like a 100lbs weight was in his hand. Bucky excused himself to the bathroom, leaving the wedding altogether. Dot and he were having problems, neither of them could deny it. She wanted more materialistic things, and Bucky couldn’t provide that, he also couldn’t go on vacation as often as Dot would have liked. She had begun to pull away from him, obvious signs that she was cheating on him, Bucky followed her one night after work and he caught her kissing another man outside of his building. Bucky filed for divorce the next day. A couple of months after the divorce with Dot, Bucky began cleaning out the apartment in the tower, that's where he stayed now, seeing that he had sold the home the two of you owned and the apartment was already under Dot’s name. He came across a box full of photos. Almost all of them were of you, Bucky had completely forgotten that they had even existed. You were so beautiful, it hurt to look at these pictures because Bucky could see how in love with him you were, but you didn’t look at him like that anymore. You looked at Bruce like that though. Bucky understood what he was feeling, intense jealousy, of you and Bruce, of Bruce, being able to hold you the way Bucky used too, to kiss you and make love to you the way Bucky used too. Bucky came to regret ever leaving you, both his children had found out that he had cheated on their mother and wanted nothing to do with him. None of you did. Bucky lost his whole family because he had been a fool who became bored with his family. If only he wasn’t a fucking idiot.

[slashersteve]

Some Kind of Disaster

pairing: Steve Harrington/Female Reader, Past!Billy Hargrove/Female Reader

summary: Reader and Steve have been together for a few weeks now, and she runs into a person she had a fling with once. That person was Billy Hargrove, and it’s the first Steve’s hearing of this.

warnings: swearing, Billy being a douche saying douchey things, Steve being cheeky and cute (is that even a warning), sexual themes and mentions

note: my good friend @dearneverlander​ gave me this idea in my time of need and assisted me in figuring out the asshole language, you’re a life saver, really. also if you’re a billy stan im sorry but i am not so he’s bad in this- also this is a no upside down au so the mall is still open

***

(y/n) was leaning against Steve’s car in Starcourt Mall’s parking lot, the window cracked open a little as the car shook. An older couple walked by when the car jerked and someone cursed. They looked at the car, then gave (y/n) an odd look. 

“Hi, how are you all doing tonight?” (y/n) asked, crossing her arms, they didn’t reply and kept walking, she turned and called, “Steve, would you hurry up, we’re going to miss the movie!” 

In the car, Steve was struggling to put on his jeans as he replied, “We can miss the previews, don’t worry!” (y/n) grumbled and leaned back on the car again. 

“I don’t see why you have to change, I don’t mind being seen with you in your scoops uniform,” she stated, Steve scoffed. 

“I mind,” he said, finally getting his pants on and buttoning it. He opened the car door now, she grabbed it and pulled it more open for him, revealing her boyfriend, hair an absolute mess. He leaned downward to put his shoes back on, then looked up at (y/n), who was just staring at him, he smirked and said, “Stop checking me out or we’re going to miss the movie.” (y/n) blinked and rolled her eyes as he got out, and locked and closed the door. He held his hand out for her to take. She took it, their fingers lacing together as they returned to the mall for their movie date.

At this time of night the mall was still quite packed with shoppers, they had to navigate through the crowd while still holding hands to make it to the theater. (y/n) had bought the tickets earlier in the day so they wouldn’t have to wait in the long line and just go in and pick their seats. 

Because it was a late showing, and on a school night for those still in school, she was hoping it wasn’t so packed so they could get their back row seats and kiss a little without someone to her immediate left or something. 

They were a few weeks into their relationship, so it was fairly new and she’d never been in an actual relationship before, hadn’t even thought about it until she started to talk to Steve, someone she liked to avoid in high school, because her closest friend Robin worked and they became friends. Of course, that meant they had to see each other often, and one thing led to another, and here they were, standing in line at the snack bar holding hands while he whispered about how he can’t wait to pretend to watch a movie when they’re actually going to make out. 

God he made her so happy.

“Down boy,” (y/n) said as they approached the cashier, Steve stuck out his bottom lip then chuckled as he pulled out his wallet. 

“It’s payday, get whatever you want, I’m buying,” he said smugly, (y/n) was going to decline and pay for it herself, but then he added, “Also you paid for the tickets so it’s only fair.” 

They got a large drink to share, a medium popcorn, and some licorice. Steve grabbed the peanut M&M’s, setting them down on the counter and said, “I know you’re going to make me go buy you some in the middle of the movie.” 

“You know me so well,” (y/n) said as he winked. They got their snacks, and started to walk towards the theater their movie was being shown in. Steve walked a little ahead in order to open the door for her, (y/n) was about to enter when someone got in her way, leaving the theater. 

“Oh sorry-” she started to apologize but stopped when she saw it was Billy Hargrove. Instantly her face flushed, she hadn’t seen him since she quit her life guard job at the pool when she got the job at the GAP, it meant more hours, more money, and less sitting in the sun. Thinking of the time she spent with him there made her inwardly cringe, and the surprise then smug look in his eyes said he was reminded of it too. 

“Are you going to move Hargrove or are you going to stand there like an idiot?” Steve deadpanned, letting go of the door, not wanting to hold it open for that guy. (y/n) took a step large step back, and Billy pushed the door open, glancing at Steve then at (y/n) incredibly amused.

“Well shit, are you two here together?” he asked, (y/n) put on a straight face and Steve didn’t hide the look of distaste on his features. 

“None of your damn business, get out of the way,” Steve said, Billy licked his lips as he looked at (y/n), making Steve clench the drink in his hand tightly. 

“You know I’m a better time than him, (y/n),” he smirked as her eyes widened, he reached out and almost touched her chin, to which Steve dropped the candy in his other hand, and instantly caught his arm, shoving it aggressively back down. 

“Back off, Hargrove,” Steve growled, Billy chuckled. 

“What are you going to do about it then Harrington?” he taunted, Steve’s face hardened angrily. (y/n) reached out and put her hand on Steve’s shoulder, saying, “Steve, come on, he’s just being an asshole per usual.” She glared at him, Billy clicked his tongue and she sucked in a breath in an attempt to keep her temper as ease. 

Steve eased off when she did so, and nodded, (y/n) didn’t give Billy another look as she walked by him with head up high, Steve shoved Billy in the shoulder when he walked in. 

The previews were still playing, and just as she suspected there was hardly anyone in here, scattered across the theater. They chose to see in one of the side seats in the corner, (y/n) by the wall and Steve by the aisle. 

“I can’t fucking stand him,” Steve grumbled angrily as they sat down, “He doesn’t know when to to shut his damn mouth.” (y/n) chuckled nervously and nodded. 

“I agree,” she replied, still feeling her heart beating out of her chest. Steve looked at her, and tilted his head curiously because he noticed how timid and overly annoyed (y/n) had become, plus she wouldn’t look at him, just staring blankly at the screen. 

“Hey, did he really bother you because I can do something about it you know,” Steve said as he wrapped an arm around her, (y/n) leaned into him and replied, “Oh-no, well yeah- but uh-” She wasn’t sure what to say, not wanting to tell her boyfriend who happens to hate Billy like she did, if not more, that she hooked up with him not once, but twice during her time as a life guard. Once in the showers after hours, another in his car in that same week in front of her house. After that one week, they made out once or twice and she started, much to her dismay, like him. Of course, she found out he was hooking up with another life guard the same time as her, and she stopped seeing him. He said some stuff to her, ones that pissed her off for months. God she hated him, but not more than she hated herself for allowing herself to sleep with him two times.

Steve stared at her, clearly seeing her struggle to the find the words, it took Steve a moment to figure out why, and when he thought he did, he raised a brow and said, “What did he mean when he said that you knew he was better than me, which we know is a lie,” he added, (y/n) half-smiled at that because it was true, “Did you two used to date or something?” He said it in a joking tone.

(y/n)’s smile and eyes fell and so did Steve’s small grin. 

“Oh...oh shit,” Steve said, blinking rapidly and looking down for a moment to take in this new information. (y/n) perked up and looked back at him, “We didn’t date, it was just- it was stupid and- it was before I even met you, well officially anyway! I haven’t talked to him since, oh god you’re gonna think differently of me-” 

Steve shook his head, “No- why would I? I mean, I hate the guy, but I’m not going to judge you on your past uhhh relationships? I mean- it was Billy, which is-” 

“Oh god you are judging me and I don’t blame you,” (y/n) almost cried, Steve shook his head once more. 

“I’m not!” he said, perhaps a little too loudly because the group of teens sitting a few rows in front of them turned around, Steve cringed and turned back to (y/n) who had her hands in her hair, completely embarrassed, “Hey, you’re with me now, I don’t care who you were with in the past, even if it was Hargrove.” 

(y/n) dropped her hands down to her lap, and let out a sigh, “That’s good to hear, just you need to know that it was nothing, and I absolutely can’t stand him too.” 

“Then why did-” 

“It was a dark time okay, it was so hot, I was probably dehydrated or something, I don’t know,” she was rambling now and Steve chuckled, leaning in to kiss her on the lips. 

“I got it, we all make mistakes,” he teased, (y/n) smiled weakly and nodded, “Let’s just forget about it and watch the movie, or whatever scenes we can watch when we take a break from this.” He caught her lips in his again, making her melt in her seat. His kisses always managed to take her breath away. He leaned away slightly, and she nodded dreamily. 

“Okay,” she replied. 

Talking with Steve made her feel better because he was right, it was in the past and it wasn’t like she was talking with him. That was the first interaction she’s had since then with him, and ever since she started dating Steve it was like some kind of bad memory. Throughout the movie, or their make out sessions, she didn’t notice that Billy was sitting in the same row, arm wrapped around another girl who he managed to ignore half the night, glancing over at (y/n) and Steve to roll his eyes. 

After the movie was over, Steve and (y/n) threw their trash away, and as they began to leave, walking past Billy and his date, (y/n) didn’t even look at him, her arm hooked with Steve’s as he suggested they see another movie since he didn’t want the night to be over. 

“Well there’s still the backseat of your car,” (y/n) said suggestively, making Steve smirk and begin to walk faster.

That bothered him, a lot. He left his date, stalking after the both of them. 

(y/n) and Steve didn’t even know, not until he spoke, “You like having my sloppy seconds Harrington?” 

His words hit (y/n) instantly, Steve took a moment to fathom what he just said, and they both turned around, Billy tucked his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket and said, “I promise she won’t moan your name like she did mine.” His eyes flickered to (y/n)’s, “Isn’t that right princess? Where was it, the shower, then my car- that was my favorite-” 

“What the fuck do you want Billy?” (y/n) snapped before Steve could, Billy grinned widely. 

“Oh you know what I want-” Billy bit his lip, and (y/n)’s fists clenched, “Come on, you know you want me again. Why are you with pretty boy Harrington when you had me?” 

“Fuck you!” 

“You already did. Twice.” 

At that point, (y/n) was fuming and Steve was about ready to attack Billy in the middle of this hallway in the theater, but to his surprise (y/n) had slapped him. His head turned to the side, the slap echoing down the hall and others standing in the snack line's heads turned to see what just happened.

Billy’s turned his head back to look at her, “Always the feisty one.” 

Steve had enough, going between her and Billy, “Enough Hargrove, she doesn’t fucking like you so how about you go cry about it somewhere else in private.” Billy chuckled. 

“Oh she liked a whole lot of me, Harrington,” he winked, Steve pushed him harshly backwards that he stumbled and grabbed (y/n) by the wrist gently. 

“Come on,��� he said, and (y/n) agreed, satisfied with the slap she gave him. It felt like therapy, really. They started to walk away, but then he decided to open his mouth again. 

“When you’re done being disappointed by Harrington, I’ll be here waiting for you princess,” he said it so smugly and at that moment (y/n) just lost her temper, turning around and practically about to run at him, but Steve was fast, wrapping an arm around her waist and saying, “He’s just trying to get a rise out of you, (y/n)!” 

Billy looked amused at that, wanting Steve to let her go, but Steve kept a firm grip, even though he wanted to see him get punched in the face this time by his girlfriend, but they were in the middle of a hallway with others looking at them, probably about to get kicked out at any second. 

Billy didn’t say anything, eyes glimmering with excitement for some reason. Now Steve wanted to be the one to punch that look off his face. Fuck that guy, really. (y/n) let out a sigh, and looked at Steve, “Let’s just go.” Steve nodded, shooting Billy a glare before they finally left, this time with Billy not saying anything. 

When they were out of the theater, and mall, still holding hands, Steve couldn’t help but say, “You slept with that guy twice?” (y/n), who was still mad, looked at Steve with wide eyes. 

“You said you wouldn’t judge,” she said, frowning deeply. Steve shook his head. 

“And like I said I’m not! Just god he’s such an asshole, you must’ve been really dehydrated,” he said with a shake of his head. 

“I know, I’m so embarrassed,” she admitted, “Also don’t tell Robin,” she said, realizing what a mess that would be, Steve was being oddly nice and nonchalant about it but she knew Robin would roast her to death and she wasn’t ready for that. 

Steve laughed, “I won’t, I promise!” (y/n) sighed.

“I totally ruined the night.” 

“No you didn’t, he did, nobody told him to say shit like that,” he said as he leaned on the hood of his car, pulling (y/n) against him, her hands resting on his chest, “I’ve dealt with that prick before, you know, and I’ll deal with him more if it means defending you and your honor- even though you clearly don’t need it.” He referred to the slap, and her almost pouncing the guy. (y/n) chuckled. 

“I don’t want to get banned from the theater for punching him,” she said, Steve nodded. 

“That would be rough,” he rested his hands on her waist, leaning in to kiss her. She kissed him back, resting her hands on his shoulders before moving them to meet at the back of his neck, pulling him closer to her to deepen their kiss, “Then again, we can still kiss like this anywhere else.” 

“Clearly,” (y/n) said, pecking him on the lips, she leaned away for a second, looking at Steve very lovingly, “He was a mistake, Steve, from a time in my life I’d rather forget. I...I love you.”

Steve looked pleasantly surprised by her words, cheeks turning slightly red, and he smiled, “I love you too.” 

They kissed once more, deeper than the first time and only stopped because a group of teens whistled. (y/n) felt her cheeks heat up, kissing in the dark in the back of the theater was different than kissing out in the open like this, Steve chuckled and moved forward, saying, “What did you say about the backseat before Hargrove interrupted?”

(y/n) smirked and said, “You know what I said.” 

Very quickly the both of them got into the car, Steve speeding out of the parking lot attempting to park somewhere where they can get a little damn privacy.

[bananapie99]

Welcome Home

Part IV of my new Home series

Part I here

Part II here

Part III here

Inspired by Welcome Home from Bandstand the musical

Welcome home my dear, welcome home my sweet. Welcome home my hero, welcome home my heart.  

*****************************************************************************************************

Bucky Barnes x Reader, Steve Rogers (brother) x Reader

*****************************************************************************************************

Now our wait has ended, our years of yearning, and I’m at my doorway, my love returning...

The day had finally come. The longest week of your life had passed, and Bucky was almost home. This morning you spent twice the time you normally do getting ready, wanting to look perfect for your reunion. It had been nearly two years since you had felt Bucky, smelled Bucky. 

It came time to head to his family’s home. A few days prior you all decided to meet there, that way Bucky could see you all at once and not have to decide who to see first. Sitting, waiting, became an agonizing task. You twisted the ring around your ring finger, unable to sit still.

Any minute now.

A watched pot never boils, but that did not stop you from looking at the clock every 5 seconds. Your head started spinning with possibilities. What if there was an accident on the way back? Or maybe the war made him realize he wanted something different for his life. He could walk right past you, or ask for the ring back.

Stop it (y/n). You scolded yourself for even thinking that way. He would not have written all those letters if he was not in love with you.

A knock at the door pulled you from your thoughts.

You jumped up, standing straight, still fiddling with your ring.

Bucky’s father took a few steps towards the door and opened it up.

“Hey dad.”

His voice. Oh that sweet voice had never sounded so beautiful. Your vision started to blur as you attempted to fight back the tears.

His dad opened the door wider, letting Bucky inside.

Immediately his eyes found yours and you could no longer fight back the tears. You let out a sob and opened your arms as he dropped his bag and ran across the living room to reach you. Suddenly your feet were off the ground, his arms locked around your waist as he spun you in a quick circle. He set you back down, but did not let go. One of his hands left your waist, finding its home under your chin, pulling your eyes up to meet his. Oh those eyes. You could drown in the turbulent ocean of those orbs. You opened your mouth to speak, but before any words could come out his lips covered yours. The kiss was desperate and heavy, one that you would never share in public given any other circumstance. Your ears burned, knowing his family and your brother were watching, but at the same time, you did not care. Bucky was here. Bucky was home.

He released your mouth, pulling you flush against his chest. He rested his cheek on top of your head.

“Welcome home James,” you finally let out just above a whisper. Your hand reached up to touch his neck and was met by the cool metal chain of his dog tags. You wove your fingers around the chain, not wanting to let go of his identification, regardless of how morbid the concept of the tags were.

Rebecca came over and rested a hand on his shoulder. He hesitated a moment, not wanting to let go of you. You gave him a squeeze, then loosened your hold on him to signal it was okay. He needed to finish his hellos. 

As he released you, he turned towards his sister, pulling her in to a similar hug and kissing her cheek. By now his mother was a mess in her tears, holding onto her husband.

Bucky released Rebecca and turned to his mother, opening his arms.

“I missed ya ma.”

She practically threw herself into his arms and sobbed into his shoulder. He held her close, gently swaying side to side, trying to soothe her cries.

It took her a while to calm back down, but who could blame her? Even with all the letters home, his time away was unbearable. None of you would say it out loud, but every day you all waited for that telegram to arrive, delivering the impossible news. But now here he was, home, safe.

Finally, he let go of his mom and hugged Steve. As you watched the two of them, something seemed off. What you were seeing before you did not look right. You had been so excited to see Bucky when he got home that you realized you had not really seen him.

His arm.

His left arm is not his arm.

You walked over to them and grabbed what should have been his left arm, and gasped when you were met with wood. You pushed the sleeve up on his jacket to reveal the rest of the wooden limb. You stumbled back a step before he reached out to catch you.

“Bucky... what happened?”

You felt the tears starting to come again.

“(Y/n), it’s okay, I’m okay,” he cooed, trying to calm you down. “Remember the situation I wrote you about? But it’s not a big deal Cookie, I’m okay I promise.”

Your heart splintered looking at the prosthetic. The situation he wrote about talked about removing a bullet, not removing an arm. The war had already taken enough, why his arm too?

He used his flesh hand to wipe at the tears painting your cheeks and kissed you again, gently this time.

Mentally you scolded yourself for the second time today. Who were you to cry? Bucky is the one who was shipped off to war and lost an arm, along with who knows what or who else. But Bucky did not seem to mind. He met your eyes with a soft smile before pulling you back into his chest. The two of you stayed like that for what felt like an eternity in silence, Steve and his family migrating towards the kitchen to you give you two some time. Neither of you wanted to break the moment, but Bucky finally spoke.

“So when is the wedding? When do you officially become Mrs. James Barnes?”

Hearing him say those words made you dizzy. Luckily Bucky had you so tight to his chest you did not have to worry about falling.

Finally you found your voice. “Just say the words, Sergeant.”

He let out a laugh that made his chest vibrate against you. You forgot how magical his laugh sounded.

“How about now?”

Wedding plans be damned, you were ready. All you needed was Bucky by your side. 

“Tell your family and call the pastor, I need thirty minutes,” you said before stretching up to kiss his jawline. Quickly you walked into the kitchen, grabbed Rebecca, and drug her out of their house. You took off running towards your apartment, Rebecca sprinting to catch up.

“(Y/n), what are you doing?? Why are we running?”

You grinned. “The wedding. It’s happening today!”

Rebecca squealed and picked up her pace.

At your and Steve’s apartment, you and Rebecca frantically gathered what you needed. Your and Rebecca’s dresses were hanging nicely in your closet, shoes tucked underneath them. Since you had left so quickly you were unsure if Steve was coming back here or not, so you decided to grab his suit and shoes as well. 

In the drawer to your vanity you saw the small velvet box and put that into your purse. Last week Steve gave it to you as a gift, your parents’ wedding rings inside. He told you he wanted you and Bucky to have them. You cried when he gave them to you, so touched by the gesture and sacrifice he was making for himself by giving the rings to you.

“They would want you to have them, (y/n). I want you to have them. Promise.”

At that moment, the door to your apartment opened and you heard Steve calling out for you. 

“In here,” you called out from your bedroom.

You heard him enter and told him his suit was draped over the couch.

He reached out and took your arm in his hand.

(Y/n), stop moving for a second. Look at me.”

You stopped what you were doing and met his eyes.

“There’s no need to rush the wedding today, Bucky does not mind waiting. He wants you to have the day you dreamed of, not something you rushed to just because he is home. He’s home, and he is not going anywhere. Today is a lot to take in on its own...him being back, his arm...”

You winced at the mention of his arm. To be honest, you had forgotten about that already and hearing the words was a bit of a shock. But you were touched by the sentiment, knowing it was true and knowing Bucky sent Steve over here to tell you that.

“I know, Steve. But this is my dream wedding. I do not care about the flowers or the decorations really, today is not about the looks or the party. I just want to marry him. I just want him. I want to say those words and know that he is mine forever. I want the declaration and the ceremony. I want the vows. As long as I have you walking me down the aisle and Bucky waiting for me at the end, it will be my dream wedding.”

Steve was satisfied by your answer and kissed your forehead, before grabbing his suit off the couch and rushing to the church to meet Bucky.

What else did you need?

The letter.

The letter that promised you he was alright after radio silence. You wanted that letter in the church with you, along with his telegram.

I’m coming home.

Now he was home. In his arms you had your home back as well.

You put those into your purse next to the ring box.

Rebecca and you went over your mental list one more time just to make sure you had not missed something big, then took off for the church. 

Inside, Rebecca and you found a room to store everything and get dressed. She helped you close up your dress and adjust your hairstyle, adding in your mother’s clip and her mother’s veil. 

You gave Rebecca the ring box and the letters. Where you wanted the letters, you did not know. But they needed to be in the church.

Rebecca put on her dress and stepped out to check if Steve, Bucky and the pastor were ready. 

A few minutes later she peeked her head back in the room.

“They are all ready (y/n). Are you?”

You took a shaky breath, already overwhelmed by your emotions. You felt tears start for the hundredth time that day, but fought to keep them back. Unable to speak without the tears falling, you just nodded yes. Rebecca held her hand out to you and you took it in your own, following her towards the altar. 

Bucky’s parents were seated in the first row of pews. Rebecca kissed your cheek and told you “see you down there,” before rushing towards the end of the aisle where her brother stood. When your eyes saw Bucky standing down there you could no longer hold the tears in, a single sob escaping your throat.

Immediately Bucky looked up, eyes locking on you. He smiled as his own tears started to fall.

Steve linked his arm with yours and gently nudged your shoulder.

“You ready (y/n?)”

Absolutely.

The two of you started your walk down the aisle at a normal pace, but as you got closer you could not wait any longer and started to pick up speed. Bucky let out a laugh at your eagerness.

Finally at the end of the aisle, Steve kissed your cheek before placing your hand into Bucky’s.

For a moment you and Bucky just stood there, holding each other’s hands and looking into one another’s eyes. You both grinned.

The pastor cleared his throat and began talking.

If you were being honest, most of the ceremony was a blur. But then you heard it.

“Do you, James Buchanan Barnes, take (y/f/n) to be your lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, ‘til death do you part?”

“I do.” He slid your mother’s old wedding band onto your finger. The perfect size.

More tears.

“Do you, (y/f/n), tale James Buchanan Barnes to be your lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, ‘til death do you part?”

The words were caught in your throat and you nodded, trying to force them out. With a little sob you finally got out “I do.” You went to slide the ring onto his finger, but were met with wood. 

He leaned in towards you to whisper, “I’ll wear it on my right hand, babydoll. I want to feel the ring.”

Even more tears. 

You slid the ring on his right hand and were amazed at how perfectly it had fit him.

Meant to be.

The pastor spoke again. “You may now kiss the bride.”

He moved closer to you, wooden arm finding its place around your waist, as his flesh hand cupped your face. He whispered “forever and always,” before leaning down the rest of the way to give you a kiss that made your head spin.

It really happened. You and Bucky were married. He was your husband. You were his wife. This had to be a dream. But this time, it was not. You were completely his and he was completely yours.

Bucky slid his arm around your waist and led you back down the aisle, family close behind.

The rest of the day you two could not keep your hands to yourself. If you were standing, his arm was around your waist, pulling your back into his chest, If you were sitting, your head was resting on his shoulder, hands and arms tangled together. He kissed you every chance he got; on your cheek, forehead, shoulder, lips. He was not picky.

As the evening went on and the alcohol continued to flow, he became even more handsy, if that was possible. His hand found home on your leg, occasionally teasing the hem of your skirt, Feeling his mother’s eyes on you two you kept pushing his hand away, but he was either oblivious or didn’t care. You certainly didn’t mind, but you did not want or need those looks. Even as a married woman you wanted to be respectable, and it was too early on in your marriage to suddenly end up on his mother’s bad side.

Desperate for conversation you blurt out the first question you could think of. 

“Where are we staying tonight Buck?”

In the excitement and commotion of the day, Bucky and you had never stopped to consider what your married life living situation would be. 

“You can stay here,” his mother chimed in.

“No!” The declination came from Bucky and you simultaneously,

Realizing the harshness of your answer, you followed up with “thank you Mrs. Barnes, that is very sweet of you. I just would not want to impose.”

Before she could respond, Steve came to the rescue,

“Take the apartment for a couple days, (y/n). Would it be alright if I borrowed Buck’s room here for a couple days Mrs. Barnes?”

It was not the arrangement she was hoping for, but his mother agreed.

Bucky pulled you closer into his side and his lips met your ears.

“Tomorrow we’ll start lookin’ for our home Cookie.” 

You nodded in agreement. You liked the sound of that, our home.

“But for now I think it is time we get going.” He stood and extended his right hand to you. “Ready to head home, Mrs. Barnes?”

Your cheeks burned and your head spun at his words. That was going to take some getting used to. Taking his hand, you stood. 

He disappeared to his room for a moment to grab his bag he had packed earlier. The two of you said your goodbyes, then started the little walk towards your apartment. At the door you pulled out your keys and unlocked the apartment, pushing the door open. You took a step forward to enter but Bucky stopped you. He scooped you up into his arms, your arms instinctively wrapped around his neck.

“It’s tradition, babydoll. Can’t have my brand new bride walking herself into our home.” He winked at you and walked inside. He kicked the door shut behind him and turned around for you to lock the door, not ready to set you down just yet.

Bucky kept walking, holding you in his arms, straight back to your bedroom, where he finally set you down on the bed. He held himself above you, eyes locked on your own. Slowly, he moved his head closer, leaning in until his lips met yours, tongue gently finding its way to yours.

Your heart started racing in anticipation of the evening. It was well known that Bucky had...experience with girls. That did not bother you. What made you anxious was the fact that you had none. Of course you were not completely clueless, you had the knowledge, but that was all you had. Bucky knew this though. The night before he left for the war you spoke about it, and he had told you “you’re worth waiting for, (y/n).” 

As nervous as you were, you knew there was nothing to worry about with Bucky. He loved you and you loved him. All he wanted now that he was home was to keep you safe.

You stretched your head up and kissed Bucky. “Welcome home, my husband.”

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Requests open!

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Taglist: @moteldwelling @belladonnabarnes @emmabarnes @ritz-hell-hotel

[imtryingbuck]

Is Being In Love Always Painful?

~ gif not mine credit to owner ~

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader, Bucky x Natasha

Summary: Your in love with Bucky but he marries Nat

Word count: 636 shes a shorty

Warnings: Angst, swearing, Nat being a bad friend? Terrible writing as always

A/N: there will be another two parts

Masterlist Series Masterlist

Loving him was easy. But he wasn’t yours to love, no that was for your best friend. You still loved him with every inch of you. 

Why? Because loving James ‘Bucky’ Barnes was easy.

You met him at school, he was your first friend actually. Starting a new school was terrifying especially when you don’t know anyone there. Ms Donovan paired you up with him so he could show you around, he made sure you ate with him and his friends, made sure no one picked on you. He was easy to be friends with.

He took you to prom when Jimmy Holland bailed on you, and that’s when you knew you was in love with him. His smile made your heart skip way too many beats to be normal, he danced and laughed the whole night with you. Prom was amazing just because of him.

You went to different colleges and even with the distance you still kept in touch, seeing each other twice a month, three times if you were really lucky.

Natasha became your best friend straight away since you both shared a dorm and you were into the same things. Nat knew of your feelings for Bucky so one day she told you to go and tell him, she even paid for the bus tickets. You stood there outside Bucky’s dorm going over your words that you selected carefully for the umpteenth time. You were both surprised, him being that you were there and you being that he had a pretty brunette standing behind him and him introducing her to you as his girlfriend. You left shortly after with some lame excuse that he either believed or simply didn’t care.

You went back to Nat and cried.

With graduation four months away, you finally introduced Nat and Bucky to each other and honestly didn’t think anything of it since Nat knew of your feelings.

A few weeks later Nat walked in to the kitchen as you was making dinner, shuffling back and forth. “Y/N umm I need to ask you something” Her voice was small which was something it never was. Giving her a nod she continued “so um Bucky asked me out on a date and I said yes, I just really like him and since he’s your best friend I wanted to know if that’s oka- shit are you okay?” You sliced your finger with the knife which hurt but not compared to the pain in your heart. But you couldn’t say anything, so you nodded. The night of their date, you cried and after their date you slept with headphones on just so you didn’t have to listen to them having sex.

It’s been three years since graduation and you were in the jewellers with Bucky. To get an engagement ring. He’s going to propose to Nat.

You were there when she squealed with joy, nodding so fast you thought her head was going to come off.

You said yes to being her maid of honour, you did everything for her. Helped plan the perfect wedding for your best friend and the man you were madly in love with.

You stood there watching Bucky cry as he watched Nat walk down the aisle towards him.

You watched as they exchanged vows.

You stood in the corner of the hall and watched them have their first dance as husband and wife.

You did it all with a smile on your face even with your heart breaking. 

Long after the newlyweds and guests left you was still in the hall cleaning up. Steve was supposed to help but you waved him off telling him to enjoy his night with Peggy. All alone in the room you let the tears fall.

Loving Bucky was so easy but also extremely painful.

Next>

~ banners credit goes to @sweetpeapod ~

[trillian-anders]

marital bliss

pairing: steve rogers x reader

warnings: angst, fluff, miscarriage, depression

word count: 2.2k

description: 1950s au; steve knew he was going to marry you the moment he laid eyes on you, but you struggle with something your parents deem not fit for marriage. and everything that comes with that. 

note: for @jbbarnesnnoble‘s mental health awareness month challenge. 

prompt:  It was progress. Baby steps forward. Maybe it wouldn’t all be okay today, but someday? It would be.

Steve had loved you since the moment he saw you. And he can remember exactly when it was. You’d been at the drive-in. Three cars down with the guy you’d been going steady with for a while. You’d been wearing a powder blue dress and a matching headband in your hair. The dress had daisies stitched into it on the hem. You snacked on junior mints and scolded the guy for touching your hair with his buttery fingers.

You sat against the trunk of your boyfriend’s car on intermission. That’s when Steve first saw you. Shaking the box to unstick the candies while he walked past, bumping into the shoulder of one of the boys joking with your boyfriend, only because he wasn’t paying attention. Only because he was trying to count the lashes that were fanned on your cheeks.

“Watch where you’re going punk.” A shove and he was on the ground. His mom had just about killed him for getting grass stains on his khakis. His popcorn spilled all over the ground. His eyes met yours, connecting for the very first time and it just about took his breath away. He maybe looked a little too long,

“You lookin’ at my girl?” A fist in his shirt collar, yanking his small frame from the ground.

“Michael!” Your voice had been like a melody to his ears, your hands wrapping around ‘Michael’s bicep, his hand curled in a fist, “Leave the kid alone.” It hurt a little, but he was sure you thought by his height and lankiness that he was a kid. But he was sure he was the same age as you, or at least around the same age.

Steve watched in horror as Michael lay his palm flat over your face and push you backward, your back hitting the trunk of the car and without realizing he was even doing it, swung forward and connected his fist with Michael’s jaw.

The next thing he knew he was sitting in his living room with a bag of frozen peas on his eye, held there by your hand and wrapped in a dish cloth.

“My Ma’s a nurse.” He’d told you, “She works nights.” With no one to take care of him you helped him home, the sleeve of your dress ripped and a bruise blossoming on your arm. He was dizzy and unsure how it happened.

“I don’t know if you were really brave back there or really stupid.” He winced at the cold touch of the frozen peas and shivered when his hand covered yours, holding it to his own head.

He remembered seeing you yell at Michael. You threw something at your boyfriend, and Steve remembered you helping him off the ground. His head ringing.

“Are you going to be okay?” If you leave him. He doesn’t want you to. You smell soft like clean linens and cotton. Lemon.

“I should really walk you home.” He said. So he did. And he mapped out the slope of your nose and the way your lips curled. He watched you tilt your head as you debated something about the movie you didn’t get to finish. And he knew then, he knew then that he was going to marry you.

It was good. Really good at first. You were so bright and full of life. Happy. Your smile would pull the sorrow from his body. The soreness from his bones. He’d been so sore the summer he hit his growth spurt. But you’d been with him the whole time.

He could see it now looking back, the melancholy. The odd blue and grey moments that seeped in at the edges of your ray of sun. The days where you hadn’t seen him because you were feeling under the weather. Laid up in bed without visitors.

Your Pa warned him not to marry you.

“She’s not fit for it, son.” A hand on his shoulder when he asked your Pa for permission to marry you. “We shouldn’t have even let it get this far.”

He didn’t understand. Your Parents wanted you to be locked away. Like you’d just stay home with them for the rest of your life. “Her fits,” Your Ma told him, “She’s not what you would want in a wife.” But he loved you. And he reasoned those bad days were worth how good the good days were.

You turned him down initially, crying in your back garden. His knee in the grass as he looked up at you hopeful. “You don’t want to marry me.”

“But I do,” He assured you, “Baby… I love you.” In sickness and in health. He wanted to be by you through it all. He couldn’t imagine his future without you. “I want to marry you.” So he did.

He’d never been happier than on your wedding day. Something that happened much to your parent’s chagrin. He remembers crying, choked up when you walked down the aisle towards him.

The happiest day you’d had in a while. He could see it on your face. Cheeks sore from smiling and many kisses, a soft touch and bubbly champagne. It took those innocent, sweet, loving kisses into something a little more lustful. Timid touches of the first time, for both of you. It was over embarrassingly quick and left him wondering how he could do better next time, wondering if you’d even had the time to enjoy it.

You’d gotten pregnant almost immediately. A joy.

You were so happy, a little sick, but happy. You were glowing and flushed, a kiss goodbye in the morning as he went to work and dinner on the table when he’d gotten home.

But it didn’t last.

The horror of that scarred you. The blood you’d woken up in. A miscarriage a few months into the pregnancy. Not even long enough to show.

That was the first time in the marriage that you hadn’t been able to get out of bed. Steve remembers the routine. Kissing you awake, you’d smile and hum. He would get in the shower and you would start breakfast. He’d find you in the kitchen and wrap his arms around you, hand splayed wide over the growing life inside of you.

And then it was gone in an instant. He would try to kiss you awake and you’d push him away. Weepy and tired. It had begun a downward spiral that he didn’t know how to help. This was met with a snarky comment by your Ma. An ‘I told you so’. It didn’t help.

So he hired someone to help you around the house. Someone to cook and clean. Lucille who could keep you company while he was at work. And you eventually came around. You were happier, but the shadow was always there. A little emptiness in your eyes when you would gaze off into the back yard. The vacantness when he would ask you a question.

This is what they meant. Your parents. That’s what Steve thought when you screamed and cried, throwing things at him. The simple question of whether you should try again. “I’m sorry,” You said later, your hand over your face sunken down on the bathroom floor. The tile hard on his knees as he sunk down to sit beside you, pulling you into his arms. “I’m so sorry.” It broke his heart.

“It’s okay sweetheart.” A kiss to your hair, “We don’t have to.” This was enough. But it didn’t stop another pregnancy from happening. Less happiness this time. But you seemed to cheer at the thought. The prospect. He would find you in the kitchen with Lucille instead of her coming to wake you later. He bought you seeds when you said you wanted to try to plant in the back garden. Pounds of mulch and fertilizer he helped you lay over the weekend. Little sprouts of zucchini and your attempt at watermelon.

He was naïve. He thought you’d been happy this whole time. When the entire pregnancy you were just waiting to wake up in blood. The death of another child. The fear of that. You’d given birth to what would have been your second born. A sweet little boy you couldn’t bear to hold.

Full of cholic and wailing. He didn’t know what to do. Steve didn’t know how to help you and he felt useless, bottle feeding his son formula and staring at your back as you gazed vacantly at the wall.

He lay the boy in his bassinet, sleepy and full. And curled himself around you. He thought you’d be happy. Your baby was healthy. He thought maybe it was just the loss of your first child that made you so sad. He thought maybe you’d be okay now.

But you weren’t.

It only seemed to get worse. The anger, the yelling, the crying. The vacant stares and isolation.

“We should have locked her up.” Your Ma was unrelenting, “With the rest of them.” Steve asked them to stop coming around. He couldn’t imagine putting you away like that. His Ma told him about the asylum. How they treated people. You were better off with him.

He talked to a Doctor. Someone who might be able to help him, even if he was a little biased.

“She has depression.” Simple. Easy. “We can do electroshock therapy in these instances, usually.” He didn’t know what else to do. So he made the appointment.

You screamed at him that night. Told him no. You’d broken a lamp. Sobbing and shaking, “You think I’m crazy.”

“No, sweetheart, I just want to help you.” A sniffle, a plead. “This is what the Doctor recommends.” You shake your head, grabbing a fist full of hair.

“I don’t like it.” You cry, “I don’t want to. I’ll try harder.” You reason, and he looks at you with despair. “I’ll try harder.”

“I just want you to be happy.” He cries. He doesn’t know what to do. And for the first time he really understands that you don’t know what to do either. He cancels the appointment.

 That night you wrap yourself around him and he holds you. “I don’t know how to be happy.” You whisper into his neck, “I do want to be happy.” A kiss to your cheek.

“We’ll figure it out.” He truly believed it.

The next day you were a little less blue and he woke you with those soft kisses and you didn’t push him away. Baby James, who had always been restless found comfort in your arms, laying on your chest while sitting in your lap. The sweet babe’s hair curled in your finger while you read the paper, chatting softly to Lucille when Steve came down for breakfast.

It gave him hope.

You started talking to him. He started accommodating you better. Helping where he could and standing back when he couldn’t. There were still those days dipped in blue. Days where you couldn’t get out of bed and where you didn’t take care of yourself. The days where he would bring you what you needed and leave you alone. But then there were days where you’d beat him from bed. You’d make breakfast like you used to, James on your hip. Singing in the kitchen.

Days where he would find those little bits of you that he remembered and not the person you fought against. But it hits him like a realization that you were this person the whole time. They were every bit of you just like the playful smiles and the way you fixed his hair with your fingers, the way you straightened his tie and told him to be home on time. You were the same person even if you were just laying in bed and weepy and tired, a soft I’m sorry and curled in on yourself wanting to disappear.

You were the same person either way. And he loved you regardless.

You sit out in the back garden and get sun, while James toddled around. You said maybe you should have a barbecue for his birthday. How you went with Lucille to the store and saw sparklers for sale and bought three packs, how maybe you should give little James a sibling.

It was progress. Baby steps forward. Maybe it wouldn’t all be okay today, but someday? It would be.

And he wanted to be with you for all of it. He’d loved you the moment he saw you. And watching you, a full person in front of him and not the mirage of just a beautiful woman with a soft gaze, he knew that his gut instinct was right. He knew that he was right to want to love you. He knew that he was right to marry you and he knew that there would be blue days. And watching you chase after your son barefoot in the back garden, four new vegetables added to your garden and the soft way you’d wrap your arms around him later while he was brushing his teeth he realized that he wouldn’t change anything.

In sickness and in health, he wanted to be with you for all of it. Didn’t matter either way.

[nocturne-pisces]

Title: Get A Load Of This Trainwreck

Pairing: Reader x Bucky Barnes

Rating: PG-13 for language, minor violence, suicidal ideation.

WC: 1.9k

Summary: You’re just a receptionist. You can’t save the world.

AN: This was inspired by a couple lines in a Cavetown song. Any notes would be appreciated. I take drabble requests, I specifically work well with the kind of whumpage like what I’ve written here. Special thanks to @frnkensteingrl​ for giving me the extra push and giving me an audience.

______________________________________________________________

You felt the pad of Bucky’s thumb trace over your knuckles as he drove. 

“I’m thinking after things-” he cleared his throat, figuring out how to phrase what was going on between them”-uh...get better. We should take a vacation. Anywhere.” 

The words echoed in your ears, registering as sounds in the English lexicon, but not really absorbing them. You’d barely spoken in the last couple weeks. Barely eaten. Barely slept.

You spent most of your time sitting on the floor of your bathtub letting your tears mix with the water. The drops of water drummed against your ribcage. Hollow and empty. 

“Okay,” you answered, voice cracking from underuse. He looked over and offered a genuine smile, happy that he got to hear the sound of your voice. 

A sigh raked its way through your chest as you pulled into the parking lot for Dr. Raynor’s office. Bucky had finally convinced you to go to couples therapy when you’d called him James one too many times. You were only three weeks deep. Bucky did all the talking,  you mostly stared out the window, just sitting there to appease him. 

The problem wasn’t him. The problem was you. You took a leave of absence from work for a few weeks, and it had given you the time to truly dwell on all of the things that were wrong with you. 

You sat on one end of the hideous gray Ikea couch and Bucky sat on the other, making himself comfortable while you just figured out a way to make yourself small. 

Dr. Raynor made you feel naked, like she saw through you. Her mouth was pressed into a thin line as she looked from Bucky to you. 

“How was last week?” She asked, swinging her notebook open and jotting down notes as Bucky began. 

“I think we’re doing better. She still barely speaks, but I convinced her to go out to a local pizza joint last Friday night.”

Thinking about leaving your apartment building last Friday night made your empty stomach lurch. Your friend had sent you the headline as soon as it was posted ‘MRS. WINTER SOLDIER LOOKING WORSE FOR WEAR.’ The picture attached was one of you where you looked particularly washed out, the bags under your eyes practically fucking glowing while you hugged your cardigan close to your frame. 

“And what about you, Y/N? How do you think last week went?” Dr. Raynor asked.

“Fine,” you answered, pulling your cardigan closed around you again now. 

Bucky’s leg was starting to bounce, he did that when he was irritated or under duress. You could feel the hairs on the back of your neck standing up, a tell tale sign that a storm was about to roll in. You swallowed hard.

Bucky’s thin patience snapped and his head whipped around to stare at you lightning fast. “Why wont you work on this like I’m working on this?” he thundered. You startled, your body going rigid as Bucky’s tone rolled over you in waves. He might as well have stabbed you in the stomach and twisted the blade. He rubbed his hands over his face, feeling the panic rising in his chest. The love of his life had been slipping away from him for months and he didn’t know why.

“There’s nothing you need to work on,” you offered meekly. You just wanted to deal with it on your own, compartmentalize and get over it so you could go back to being The Winter Soldier’s Perfect Wife.

“I know, I know. It’s not a me thing, it’s a you thing, but you’re not getting better and I can’t help unless you tell me what’s going on.” His voice started to falter, like he was about to fall and he was grabbing onto anything that would keep him from the drop. “Please, baby, please…” he took your hand in his, bringing it up to his mouth and kissing it. 

Though you didn’t turn to him, you closed your eyes as you drown yourself in his concern, the sob getting lost behind your ribcage while you wondered what he’d ever seen in you. The tears flowed anyways, falling off of your face and onto your sweater. When you didn’t respond to his touch, he let you have your hand back, keeping his body angled towards you. 

“Y/N, you have to let other people in if you expect to get better,” Dr. Raynor said. 

Your body felt like it was compressed too tight, like an aerosol can in a hydraulic press. Just a couple more pounds of pressure and…

“Do you want a divorce?” It was barely a whisper on your right side. You turned your head to see Bucky eye locked pointedly on his hands, eyes red and glossy while he twisted the wedding band on his ring finger. 

Your jaw dropped as your breathing became ragged. No. Absolutely not, you didn’t want a divorce. You only loved him. You only wanted him. How were you supposed to explain that you didn’t understand why he didn’t want a divorce. 

At the sound of your breaths he looked up. Bucky’s eyes went wide watching you hyperventilate. He could see the fear in your eyes as you tried to hold on to the reality around you. 

“Baby it’s just a panic attack, breathe with me,” he said, moving to crouch in front of you. 

Dr. Raynor got up from her chair and walked over to stand next to where Bucky sat.

“Deep breaths, Y/N,” she said, laying a hand on your shoulder. 

There were too many people too close to you and it was too much to handle. You felt yourself fill your lungs with air before letting out an ear splitting, blood curdling scream. You screamed until you had no air left, and then you took a breath and sobbed. 

You fisted Bucky’s shirt and shook him, rage and venom lacing your voice. 

“Ever since Steve died you’ve been America’s fucking golden boy. Your fucking redemption arch is Oscar worthy. Take a look at this monster! He doesn’t know how to communicate, everyone just give him a little bit of space! 

“And then there’s me. Little ole me. Too fat. Too skinny. Wears too much makeup. Doesn’t wear enough makeup. What is that dress? Does she own anything other than sweaters. Who designed the bags under her fucking eyes what a GODDAMNED TRAINWRECK.”

It was all pouring out of you and you couldn’t stop it. Everything you’d bottled up for Bucky’s sake since the funeral. Everything you’d tried to deal with on your own. 

Bucky was reeling. It was like someone had flipped a switch in his head and he was coming to understand everything.

“I’m just a fucking receptionist. Yes, my husband is the Winter Soldier-” you mocked, looking over at your pretend patient from your pretend desk “- He's doing so well recently. Can I schedule your fuCKING FOLLOW UP APPOINTMENT?”

You reached back and swung down into Bucky’s left arm, wanting to take your anger and frustration out on something, anything. Needing the release of catharsis, the release of pain. Bucky didn’t even flinch, he felt like he deserved it after having been this fucking oblivious for so long. When your fist connected you felt a crunch in your wrist and your face contorted as you let out a strangled cry. Bucky jumped and reached for your hand but you jerked it away from him, tears still running down your face.  

Dr. Raynor’s eyes were wide, looking to Bucky to see if she needed to call an ambulance, or a local psych ward. Maybe an exorcist? Buck just shook his head. This is the breakthrough they’d been praying for for months now, you just needed time to work through it. 

“I’m just a fucking receptionist. I can’t save the world,” you cried, cradling your busted hand to your chest. Your chest felt like it was fracturing and falling in on itself and in just a second the couch was going to swallow you up into the endless black.

You looked up at him finally, tear tracks standing out against your skin, your hand starting to swell. “Why do you love me when I’m so useless?” 

At that moment, Bucky would rather have sat in the chair for another 70 years than hear the pain in your voice. 

His own tears finally crested and tracked down his face, his nose burning and his throat dry. He set his forehead down on your knees, holding onto your calves for dear life. 

Bucky could remember every cup of tea, every tissue you’d used to wipe his tears, every time you’d woken him from a nightmare, every time you’d slept on the floor with him, every time you stitched him up so he didn’t have to deal with a hospital, every time you got the groceries by yourself because he’d broken down in the shakes in the middle of the paper goods aisle, every time you’d remembered to grab his favorite cookies, every time you waved off him being on a mission during a birthday or an anniversary. 

Bucky could remember every time you’d sacrificed yourself for him, but couldn’t remember the last goddamn time they had an in-depth conversation about you. 

It felt like someone had slapped him in the face. Fuck, you should have slapped him the face.

“I am so fucking sorry,” Bucky said, his voice cracking as he looked up into your face. 

“I’m not special, I don’t-” you started, but he cut you off. 

“You are special,” he pleaded, taking the hand you weren’t cradling against your chest in both of his, “Goddamn does it take a super kind of woman to put up with my bullshit, and you do it all without breakin’ a sweat.” 

“James, I--”

“You really gotta cut that James shit, you only call me that when you’re mad at me. Are you mad at me?”

That earned a broken chuckle from you, he wasn’t wrong. 

“No, Buck, I’m not mad at you. I just wish I was more. That I did more. Maybe if I saved a planet-”

Buck cut you off again, shaking his head. 

“Baby, you save my world every time you make brownies,” he breathed, meeting your eyes. 

It felt like the world finally rolled off your shoulders. You felt so incredibly stupid and relieved at the same time. 

Bucky wasn’t done, “no one behind a camera or writing for a blog or a newspaper or whatever the fuck they have in the impulse aisles at the grocery store can tell me all the superpowers that my wife has.”

“Oh god, I know, I’m so stupid,” tears started to spring forward again as you leaned forward into Bucky’s shoulder. 

“You’re not stupid, baby, no, but I just might be the world’s oldest idiot,” he replied, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. “I had no idea it was affecting you like this. I am so sorry I haven’t been paying attention.” He took your face in his hands and blotted away a couple stray tears with his thumb, leaning in to lay a long, loving kiss on your forehead.

“I’m sorry I let it get this bad without saying anything,” you croaked back.

Dr. Raynor cleared her throat, trying to get everyone’s attention. 

“I am so glad we have made so much progress today, but Y/N’s hand is turning purple,” she said, pointing at the hand laid against your chest. Your wrist throbbed something awful, like you’d just remembered you’d been in pain to begin with.

“Oh fuck, right, I’m sorry,” you bit back more tears, this time from physical pain. 

“Shit doll, let's get you to a hospital,” Bucky said, helping you stand and ushering you out the door. 

“Next week, same time. We’ll do another check in,” Dr. Raynor called after you. 

Maybe tomorrow, in your pain killer haze, you could look at gated communities to move to.

[sunmoonandeddie]

a vision in white

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

word count: 3,441

summary: Fucking Chad and fake champagne.

prompt: “And our love story? I know it may not feel like it right now, baby, but I promise you, it’s just getting started.” (This is Us)

warnings: swearing, angst with a fluffy ending

a/n: This is my first successful attempt to getting back into writing long form.  It’s also my entry for @softhairbarnes‘s challenge that was due, like September 18th.  I’m so sorry it took so long, and the prompt is bolded in the fic!

Bucky Barnes hated weddings.

Actually, no.  That’s not quite accurate because he loved Sam and Natasha’s wedding.  When Sam had asked him to be a groomsman, he’d actually cried.  In fact, he cried at least four times that day: watching Tony walk Natasha down the aisle, during the vows and the first dance, and then when he’d watched his girl catch the bouquet.

His girl.

No.

He needed to stop that.  You’re not his girl anymore.

It was that stupid bouquet toss that had caused him to panic.  It had sent him into a downward spiral as his anxiety reared its ugly head, telling him that he’d never have this with you.

It didn’t matter what the stupid tradition said.

Steve was standing near the front with Tony and Sam, mingling with your parents and having a grand old time.  He must’ve said something at least a little funny with the way that your mom had her head thrown back in a laugh.

That used to be him.  He used to be the one chatting with your family at events, his arm around your waist.  Your dad always called him ‘son’ and your mom fretted over whether he was eating enough while your older siblings gave him hell for keeping you away from them in New York City for too long.  He’d never thought he’d have a family in the twenty-first century, but yours had welcomed him with open arms.  Your brothers had become his brothers, your sister became his sister.

And then he’d fucked it all up.

And because of his fuck up, he was sitting in the back pew of a church, watching some asshole named Chad chat with one of his groomsmen while waiting for the ceremony to start.

The worst part was that it was all wrong.  This wasn’t the wedding you wanted.  He knew that for a fact.

First off, the church.  You never wanted a church wedding in the middle of August, damn it.  Everyone was sticky with sweat, even with the air conditioning on full blast, and more than a little miserable.

And there wasn’t…  There wasn’t enough flowers.  The only flowers present were two bunches of white tulips on either side of the altar.

Fucking tulips.  In white.  It was like you’d had zero hand in planning your own wedding.

Which, from the look of things, you probably didn’t.

There just wasn’t enough color.  It was all pristine white, as though trying to create some image of purity that he knew you didn’t have.  You weren’t some kind of innocent virgin like the whole church thing suggested.

The trip you two had taken to the Dominican Republic a few years ago had made sure of that.

You’d told him about the wedding you dreamed about in the middle of the night, between sleepy kisses and wandering hands.  The sheets had been kicked off at some point.  You’d tangled your legs with his, soft fingers brushing his hair back away from his face as you murmured into the crook of his neck, “I want a small wedding outside.  Just you and me and our family.”

“Yeah, baby?” He’d chuckled, drawing you even closer, if it were possible.  “Just us and our family?”

“Mmhm.  Don’t need anyone else.”

He’d hummed his agreement as he rolled the two of you over, leaning over you.  His forehead pressed against yours, your legs wrapped around his waist.  “What else?  Hm?”

“What do you mean, ‘What else?’” You had asked, his t-shirt riding up your torso.  You’d stolen it at some point, almost permanently becoming one of your so-called ‘sleep shirts.’

“Tell me about our wedding.”

Your bright eyes crinkled as you giggled, your fingers toying with the hair at the nape of his neck.  “Our wedding, huh?”

His fingers attacked your sides in retaliation, sending you into a fit of laughter.

“Okay!  Okay!”  You had allowed him to lie on your chest, his head resting right above your racing heart.  His weight was a welcome one, grounding you and keeping you in the present.  Just as Bucky had his demons, you had yours, too.  Your voice was soft and sweet, barely audible, as you continued, “It’ll be outside… in June…  And there’ll be flowers.  We’ll have so many flowers that no one will know what our color scheme is supposed to be.”

A laugh from your fiancé, your soon-to-be husband, pulled him out of his memories.  God, the smug bastard.

Part of him wondered if he even knew about your past relationship.  Granted, he had to.  You were together for so long, it would be strange to not at least mention him to your new lover.  Your fiancé.

Right?

Without a second thought, he stood up from the cold, hard pew and went through the double doors that people were still filing in from.  He didn’t care that he received more than a few dirty looks after bumping shoulders with a few people.  He didn’t recognize more than half of them.  Some of them he can vaguely remember from one of your family reunions.

He had so many questions that he needed to ask you.  He needed answers.

His invitation was crumpled in his hand as he searched the church, looking for any hint that might lead him to where the bridal party was getting ready.  He knew that he’d find you wherever that was.  Wanda and Natasha, too.

“Bucky?”

The familiar voice stopped him in his tracks, and he turned to see your older sister standing standing behind him.  Josephine, or Jo, as she preferred, was your only sister, the second born of five.  He had no doubt in his mind that she’d bawled when you’d asked her to be your maid-of-honor.

“Hi,” he said with a bit of a wince.  He knew how he looked right now.  Crazed.  Desperate.

She had a glass of what appeared to be water in her hand, but he could smell the vodka from where he stood.

Some liquid courage for the bride?

“She doesn’t like vodka,” he said, his voice barely audible.

Jo rolled her eyes, crossing her arms and crinkling the silky gray material of her bridesmaid’s dress.  “Yeah, well, she used to not like guys named Chad either, but here we are.”

He wasn’t quite sure what to say or how to respond at all, and just stood there with his mouth hanging open like a codfish.

“Come on,” she said, nodding further down the hall.  The first few feet were completely silent, their footsteps muffled by the old carpet covering the floor.  There was no way this church had been renovated since the seventies.

“She misses you, you know.”  She kept her eyes forward, refusing to look at him as she admitted things she’d sworn secrecy to.  “She won’t admit it to anyone but me, but she does.  We all do.”

His blue eyes drifted down to the cardstock in his hand.  It was white, just like the rest of your wedding, with you and your fiancé’s names embossed on it.  It was worn from the amount of times he’d folded and unfolded it in his anxious state.  “I didn’t expect to get an invitation.”

“She didn’t send it.  I did.”

It was said so matter-of-fact that he didn’t even register her words at first.  But the second he did, he tripped and almost fell flat on his face.  “You what?!”

“Oh, come on, Bucky,” she said, stopping in front of him.  “This…  This whole thing isn’t right.  I know you feel it, too.”  She motioned back down the way they came.  “This isn’t her.  She’s settling for someone that isn’t right for her because she thinks you don’t want her.  And I…”  Her eyes, the same brilliant shade as yours, drifted to the ground.  “I knew that if you came, it would mean that you still love her.”

“I—”  He ran his hand over his face.  “Of course I do.  But she deserves more than me.”

If Jo’s eyes could’ve rolled to the back to her head, then they would’ve.  “You’re both absolute idiots.”  She grabbed his hand and set the glass of vodka in his hand before pushing him towards a closed door.  “This is your chance to fix it.”

He looked at her once more before turning back to the door, knocking once.

“Come in.”

God, just hearing your voice in person for the first time in three years sent waves of affection through him.

The first thing he saw when he opened the door was your back.  You were sitting at the vanity in the room, toying with one of the pins your hair.

“Jo, can you help me?  This just… isn’t right.”

But Bucky was frozen by the door.  His mouth was suddenly dry and he had to fight the urge to down the entire glass of vodka in his hand.

“Jo, really—”  You turned in your chair, freezing when you saw him standing there instead of your sister.  “Jamie?”

You looked so… so shocked.  Hesitant.  Maybe even a little scared?

“Uh…  Hey, sweetheart,” he said, swallowing down the lump in his throat.  “It’s, uh…  It’s been a while.”  When you just stared at him, he held out the glass.  “Jo gave me this to, uh, to give to you.”

But you didn’t take it.  Your fingers were white from how hard you were gripping the back of the chair.  “What are you doing here?”

His heart was beating so hard he was sure his ribs were going to break like glass.  “You…  You look beautiful.”

And he wasn’t lying.  You were truly a vision in white.  The veil covering your hair was trimmed in delicate lace, framing your features in a way that made you appear almost angelic.

Your fingernails were digging into the palms of your hands as you finally stood up.  “James, what the hell are you doing here?”

“Jo invited me.”

You cursed under your breath, your eyes drifting up towards the ceiling.  “Fucking Jo.”

He took a step forward, a little scared of how you’d react.  His hands were trembling.  “I…  I…”  He cleared his throat as he desperately tried to gather his thoughts.  Rolling his shoulders back, he willed himself to have some fucking courage, damn it.  After what must’ve been an eternity, he finally allowed himself to meet your gaze.  “Listen, I could say a lot of shit right now about how sorry I am, and it’d be true.  Because I am sorry.  I was stupid and dumb and, and a lot of other words that I can’t think of right now because fuck, you’re right here and I…  I miss you.  I miss you more than anything in the world, and if I could take it back, I would.”  When you didn’t retreat, he took a few more steps towards you.  “I love you.  I love you so god damn much, and I never should’ve pushed you away.”  The vodka was rippling, his hand was shaking so much.  “You’re the love of my life, and I’d be willing to bet anything—in fact, I’d bet Steve’s life—that I’m the love of yours.”

“James—”

“Tell me that you love him,” he said, now standing just mere inches from you.  He set the glass on the vanity without breaking eye contact.  You could feel his breath gently fanning across your face.  “Tell me you love him and I’ll leave.  I won’t ever bother you again.  But, sweetheart, there’s no way he can ever love you how much I love you.”  His hand, calloused and rough, tenderly cupped your cheek.  “I don’t have any right to you, I know.  But I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t even try to make things right.  And our love story?  I know it may not feel like it right now, baby, but I promise you, it’s just getting started.”

Even though your eyes were watering, you didn’t step away from him.  Your cheeks had just gotten hotter and hotter the closer he’d gotten to you.  “What are you asking me, James?”

“Come with me,” he whispered, leaning his forehead against yours.  His voice sounded pained, his metal hand grasping yours.  “We can get out of here, go home.  Please.”

You took in a shaky breath, a million thoughts running through your mind.

“Say you’ll run away with me, sweetheart.”

“I…  I can’t.”

Bucky jerked away from you, feeling like a pot of boiling water had been tossed onto him.  “What do you mean?”

Nose scrunching as you sniffled, you reached out to him.  “Jamie, please…”

He backed towards the door, shaking his head.  “Don’t ‘Jamie’ me.”

Wiping at your eyes, you rushed to explain.  “I can’t just… just leave him at the altar, Jamie!  I can’t hurt him like that!”

“Why not?!”

You looked at him like he’d grown a second head.  “What the hell do you mean, ‘Why not?’  I’m engaged to him.  I promised to spend the rest of my life with him, and—”

“You don’t love him!”

The words died in your throat.  Your chest was heaving against the confines of your dress.  “I’m engaged to him.”

“That doesn’t mean shit,” he said bitingly.  His arms waved around dramatically as he spoke.  “You’re sitting here in a dress, about to give the rest of your life to an asshole—Which, by the way, really?  Chad?  You decided to marry an asshole named Chad of all things?—because you can’t hurt his feelings?”  He really wished he’d downed some of that vodka right about now, even though it wouldn’t really do much for him.  “Are you really going to throw your life away like that?”

You narrowed your eyes at him, trying to keep yourself from crying.  You were supposed to walk down the aisle in less than thirty minutes, and your makeup artist would kill you if you’d ruined her hard work.  “I…  I love him.”

Bucky stared at you for a long moment, hoping that you would realize what a mistake you were making.  But when it didn’t come, he let out a huff of air.  “You keep telling yourself that.”  He took one last look at you as he opened up the door, ready to leave.  “Have a happy life, sweetheart.  I’ll…  I’ll see you around.”

He allowed the door to shut behind him before the waterworks started, forcing himself to not go back in when he heard you crying.

Stupid super soldier hearing.

“Bucky?”

He looked up to see Jo standing there, the hopeful look in her eyes quickly diminishing.  “She, um…  She says she loves him.”

He knew that she could hear you crying even without a super soldier serum coursing through her veins.  Without even giving him a second look, she slipped into the room and out of his sight.  Your sobs seemed to get even louder when she entered.

Not able to withstand the torture that was being so close to you without being able to call you his, Bucky ran.

He left the church, grabbing a bottle of champagne that was sitting on the catering truck outside.

It would seem that your reception was to be in the basement of the church, of all places.

He didn’t even bother to tell anyone he was leaving.  After all, he’d ridden with the team to the church, and he didn’t want to have to beg one to drive him back to the Tower and miss the ceremony.  They’d actually been invited.

You wanted them there.  But not him.  Not after how badly he’d fucked up.

It wasn’t like any of them actually expected him to be able to make it through the vows, or even into the sanctuary.

He aggressively wiped at his eyes as he walked down the crowded streets of New York City.  “Don’t you have places to be?” He wondered aloud as yet another person bumped into him.

His feet knew where to take him before his mind did.

The 50 Street Station on Broadway.

The night you first met, you’d just finished a shift at Ellen’s Stardust Diner.  Your roller skates were sitting by your feet as you waited for the subway.  Bucky had just been wandering around the city and had somehow ended up across Manhattan.

He’d instantly been smitten with the girl working her way through university, and it had been history from there.

He sat on one of the benches, uncorking the bottle with little difficulty.

If anyone was curious as to why an Avenger was drinking in a subway station at noon on a Saturday, no one asked.

And in his nice suit, too.

“Oh, buddy, how the hell did you end up here?” He asked himself before taking a long swig from the bottle.  Some of the bubbling liquid dribbled down his chin and he wiped it on his jacket sleeve that definitely cost more than his childhood home back in the twenties.

He would kill for some of Thor’s Asgardian mead at the moment.

But he’d just have to settle for some second rate champagne that, honestly, probably wasn’t even real champagne.

“Probably made in America,” he muttered to himself as he inspected the bottle.

Sure enough, right there on the back under all the nutritional information, it said Made in California.

“Can’t even get real champagne for her,” he said to no one in particular.  No one in the station was paying him any mind, choosing to let him wallow in misery on his own.

Seven trains had passed by before he heard it.

“James?!  Jamie?!”

He imagined that right?  The wind from the trains was playing tricks on him.  Making him hear your voice.

An exquisite form of torture, really.

“Jamie!”

But it sounded so real.

Curiously, he lifted his head, the almost empty bottle dangling from his fingers.

And there you were.

Still a vision in white in your wedding dress.  Your veil was half torn off, your hair falling.  The hem of your skirts was dirty from the muck that covered the streets of New York City.  You held a suitcase in your hand, rolling your shoulder back to accommodate the weight and pressure of carrying it through the city.

“What are you doing here?” He asked as he got to his feet, the champagne forgotten.  He wiped at his eyes, desperately trying to appear more put together than he felt.  “You…  You are here right?  I’m not hallucinating or anything?”

“No, you’re not hallucinating,” you said as you set the suitcase down with a huff.

He blinked slowly at you, almost afraid that you’d disappear if he closed his eyes.  “I mean, you never know with fake champagne.”

“Shut up.”

He watched as you sat down on the bench he’d been occupying for a little over an hour and a half, crossing your arms over your chest.  “What are you doing here?”

“What do you mean, what am I doing here?”

“You’re getting married to Chad.”

With an eye roll that reminded him a lot of Jo, you kept your eyes on the approaching subway.  “Clearly not.”

He snuck a peek at your left hand, heart pounding when he realized that you didn’t even have your engagement ring on.  “Oh.”

You two sat in silence for a few minutes, not speaking.  It was so peculiar to be in the exact spot that you two had met seven years before.  So much had changed but at the same time, so much was the same.

He was still crazy about you, for one, and it would appear that you felt the same.

“I hate that you’re right all the fucking time.”

His heart skipped a beat and he finally turned to look at you.  “What was that?”

And despite how much you fought it, a small smile was tugging at your lips.  “Shut up.  You know what I said.”

“I’m not right all the time,” he said slowly, inching his pinky closer and closer to yours.  “I wasn’t right to leave you.”

“No, you weren’t.”

“I should’ve just told you that my anxiety was getting the better of me like you told me to.”

“Yes, you should’ve.”

He inhaled sharply as his finger finally brushed yours, and you allowed his fingers to intertwine with yours.

“Better late than never, I suppose,” you whispered, your eyes meeting his.

The silence between you was loaded with tension.  And the both of you knew that you had a lot of things to discuss, things to figure out if you were going to work in the long run.

But you were here and he loved you and you loved him.

And that was enough.

[anika-ann]

Walpurgis Night

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader     Word Count: 9860 (oh, oh, dammit)

Summary: For the once wandering eye of the former King Howard of Starkerbürg, the kingdom suffered a terrible loss.

As winter blossoms into spring, the night of Walpurgis arrives and another man is chosen to bring the long-lost princess, sister to King Anthony, home. No one has ever succeeded in the task; another spring equals another life lost.

Steven was not meant to be selected; he volunteered, taking another man’s place. It is up to him to set foot into the woods where myths come to life and men of the kingdom meet their death.

A/N: for a challenge hosted by @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan​​. Congratulation to your rightfully earned milestone. May you gain more loyal followers in the future. I thank you for allowing me to take part in your challenge. Prompt: Fairytale AU

Warnings: mentions of death(s), minor injury and blood, supernatural elements, fluff extraordinaire, a little bit of angst

Note: It’s not a habit of mine to inset links for music, but if anyone wishes to listen to the song responsible for this fic, link is in the text (and the non-Marvel pics above are from the music video).

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･

“May the Gods lead your sword and bring you home safe, my brave lord,” the Queen pronounced as she placed a cowslip to his collar and beckoned to him to stand up.

If Steven’s heart wasn’t beating its way out of his chest with a barely contained restlessness, he would have chuckled bitterly. ‘Lord.’ As if he was anything but a peasant, as if his life had any value to the King or the Queen; and yet, Queen Virginia’s gaze rested upon him and observed him with sorrow; as if he mattered to her.

As if she regretted her husband’s madness, one he had inherited from his father.

King Howard, passing away last winter, had never bothered hiding his wandering eye. Queen Maria, his beloved wife, had graciously tolerated her husband’s predilection for other women, seeing as he never acted upon it. Many ladies of the court had found themselves blessed when the King decided to spent an evening in their company; although never left alone with his highness, never granted even a gleam of hope of being taken as a lover, they cherished their moments with him and held no grudges.

However, an exception to the rule had always solidified its validity.

One of the King’s chosen companions had fallen for him, refusing offers of marriage which had been not scarce as she had foolish faith in king’s short-lived attraction. She – and her name could never be spoken in the land of Starks ever again, one of the most serious offences punished by death – deluded herself into believing he would leave the Queen, blind to the deep affection shared between her sovereigns. Oblivious until the second royal child was born.

The Princess, barely days old, went missing overnight, the very night of Walpurgis, when the powers of evil were believed to be most potent. With the ringing of tower bells, the King’s Guard saw to find the heiress to the crown.

Before the night was over, all they discovered was a laughing woman, having gone mad with heartbreak.

“You took everything from me,” she spluttered, spitting on king’s shoes as she had been forced to her knees, hands restrained; eyes teary and yet smiling. “Now you shall know how that feels.”

The woman had laughed and laughed as she burned at the stake, crying tears of joy at king’s torment. She had carried away the baby to the woods; left it for the malicious intentions of fauns, elves, dryads, nymphs, hulders and witches, all the evil spirits from myths much truer than prophesies read from the stars.

The Princess was lost ever since.

Steven had only learned this history from his mother’s narrative (Gods may grant her peace in afterlife) and from rumours spreading all over the Stark’s lands.

How could it not still be spoken of?

Every Walpurgis Eve, the night of the evil spirits’ power ruling and yet assumed to be most vulnerable, a brave man would rise and offer his service to the King, attempting to save the Princess from the claws of darkness.

Every morning after, all that was left of him was his armour; king’s armour, the finest quality, abandoned. With each life lost, the King turned more furious; with every life laid down, fewer and fewer lords were willing to meet their certain death.

Thieves and tavern brawlers were dragged to the edge of forest in their place, meeting the same fate; death cared little for nobility and wealth, greedily hoarding all souls offered.

Steven was no thief, had never been caught in a middle of a brawl. However, Pietro, the brother to Wanda, born moments apart from her as their mother left them before they were blessed enough to meet her, had not been as fortunate.

While King Antony had promised to end the never-ending madness of his father once he would inherit the crown, swearing that no other man would be coerced to try and complete an impossible task (as the people of Starkerbürg whispered of the Princess being long dead, eaten by wolves or the forest spirits), the day had come and he had chosen another innocent soul.

No amount of cries from the broken woman, who had no family left but her twin brother, had mollified the King. He himself had lost his mother to grief, his father to illness and his sister to pointless vengeance; why should he care for compassion when he could hold onto the senseless hope instead?

Steven could no longer watch the tragedy unfolding in front of him, less so having met the twins before. He had stepped forward and took Pietro’s place.

Steven had no family of his own, not anymore, not yet; not for the lack of sudden interest from women who had never as much as spent him a glance only few winters prior when he had been fighting all illnesses the kingdom had ever suffered. His mother had worked tooth and nail to keep him alive; and Steven wished to find himself a mate just as loving, not a fickle female who turned around for the man most impressive at given time.

Perhaps he was abandoning that foolish dream for his very recent actions. Perhaps, he wouldn’t live long enough to meet such kind soul who would care little whether his body was a fragile vessel (which it used to be) or as strong as a horse.

In the end, Steven had nothing to fear, barely anything to lose. Should he fail, he might encounter his father who had offered for the similar task many years ago.

Men had been laying down their lives, involuntarily. Steven was willing to do so if he could spare the poor Wanda suffering and gift her the life of her brother. If there had been one thing Steven craved more than a beautiful loving wife of a kind heart, it was him being a good man.

Returning to the present, Steven rose as the Queen had commanded, his fingers deliberately brushing over the yellow flower nestled in his collar. A cowslip; for protection from evil spirits. The castle, the towns, the villages… they were flooded with cowslips these days, fires lit long before sunset. The whole land feared the creatures of the forest.

His mother had always warned him from them, keeping the fate her husband had met in mind.

Sarah, Steven’s beloved mother who had worked herself to an early grave to put as much as a bread crust to his mouth, would have cried her eyes out if she learned her son was being foolish, coming voluntarily; her heart would have shattered with sorrow. Her heart would have burst with pride had she learned he had done it to save another man’s life.

With peace in mind Steven bowed to Queen Virginia and King Anthony once more before turning away. The Queen’s sorrowful eyes followed him as the crowd parted, forming an aisle for him to walk through; gracelessly stepping aside so he may walk towards his death.

A small hand curled around his wrist, forcing him to halt and meet a pair of familiar emerald eyes.

“Natalia,” he granted her with a reassuring smile and she sprang towards him from James’ side, throwing her arms around him in an unladylike manner, losing nothing of the warmth of her gesture.

“Steven. Trust nothing you see,” she warned him with a knowing glint in her eye, worry for her dear friend creasing the elegant arches of her brows.

Steven stiffened, taken aback by both her heartfelt assault and her words. He gently squeezed her waist, wary of letting people see their affection. She was to wed soon, to his best friend no less. James understood, however the people of the court and other commoners like himself might not.

“I shall return to you all, Natalia. Worry for me not,” he whispered, allowing her to slip from his arms, nodding at his friend who reciprocated the gesture, patting his shoulder covered in expensive cloak.

“Don’t do anything foolish, brother.”

Natalia shook her head, tight-lipped smile on her face, brief and too weak for anyone to believe that she had that much faith in him.

It wounded Steven, yes, but feeble-minded he was not. The truth was merciless; not one man had ever returned from the path he was about to set foot on. Not a single one.

“You are a fool,” Natalia lamented, her palm tenderly laid on his chest, as if she could feel his heartbeat under the many layers covering his torso, including the thick chainmail. “May the Gods protect you, Steven. Be careful.”

He nodded, only having taken a single step aside when another person appeared in his path.

Wanda. The sister. Realization dawned to Steven, for the first time since the unfortunate morning of Pietro being chosen, that she had barely reached the age of a woman, rather being a child still. Bending down to her as her frame seemed even smaller than usual, her thin shoulders scrunched in guilt, Steven could see clearly her tears-stained face.

Her petite hands, cold to touch and trembling, wrapped around his left one, watery eyes looking up at him. Steven didn’t hesitate to give her a smile, to assure her that she owed him nothing for taking her brother’s place.

The redhead didn’t seem to agree, seeing as her skirts swirled and she fell to her knees right in front of him in a gesture of subservience.

“My la-“ he exclaimed, alarmed, more so when she turned his hand in hers, her lips hovering above his leather-cladded palm, another sign of inferiority to him, leaving him horrified. Overtaken by shock, rendered speechless, he only observed as she took his other hand and repeated her action, clinging onto him like onto a dear life.

Only when she raised her teary eyes to him, he shook himself at last and kneeled to her level, regardless of the mud staining his attire. She had clearly cared not for her skirts either as the plain dress she was wearing were now soaked in dirt.

“My lady, Wanda-”

Her lips quivered, tears rolling down her pale cheeks as she released his hand and reached to the curve of her nape, unfastening a thin chain carrying a pendent.

Breath caught in Steven’s throat when she handed it to him without hesitation, curling her tiny fingers around his before he could even consider giving it back. Her whisper, peculiarly deep and so quiet he had to strain his ears to hear it, resonated in his soul, her gaze trapping him.

“Shall the kindness of your heart be your lifeline in the dark. May it shine and keep you warm, perish not its honest spark.”

Mesmerized by a red gleam which Steven would swear he saw burning in her eyes for the shortest of moments, he nearly missed the flicker of fire running through his veins.

Mind foggy, he blinked quite frantically to clear his vision. Wanda’s eyes welcomed him with their inviting brightness, her hands squeezing his. The illusion of the flame disappeared.

Snapping from his trance, Steven got a hold of her forearms and assisted her in standing up to her full height. She appeared unbothered by the state of her clothing, her gaze never leaving his face, focused and sincere.

“Blessed be your kind soul, son of Joseph,” Wanda whispered, voice as soft as her grateful smile.

Steven, feeling a strange tingle in his fingertips, at the base of his spine and in his very core, only nodded, his father’s name echoing in his ears. How had she heard of his father? How did she know?

Sensing the eyes of all onlookers on them, he swallowed his confusion and the unfamiliar feeling coursing through his veins and finally continued walking, the crowd closing behind him like sea. He readjusted the sword in its scabbard, the shield – a gift from the King himself for every man marching to find his own end in the woods – sitting heavy on the straps on his back.

The pendent from Wanda burned in his palm and so he secured it around his neck, hoping he would bring the precious piece of jewellery back to her.

Unknown to him, Wanda’s eyes followed him with content, an inconspicuous watery smile on her lips, a knowing glint in her eye as her brother placed a hand on her shoulder, pulling her into an embrace.

The glittering aura, now glowing bright due to her little enchantment, drawing sights of all powered creatures, just might mollify the spirits of the woods and cause them to spare Steven’s life as they never wished to harm a man of a pure heart.

The sun was nearly at the end of its path behind horizon when Steven walked through the city gate.

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･

♪

Steven couldn’t recall how he had found himself in this place of magic. His feet had led him of their own accord, the fire of his torch long gone; an absence barely acknowledged as the moonlight was shining bright, illuminating the scene unfolding in front of him.

A meadow soaked in silver, serene and yet bursting with life, laughter and music, men-like half-goat creatures romping in the middle, a circle of dancing women-- beautiful, beautiful women, light on their feet, nearly floating, their modest white clothing swirling with each movement---so exquisite that Steven forgot how to breathe, all coherent thought leaving his mind as his eyes remained hypnotized by the grace and joy of the dreamlike goddesses.

Laughing, voices as hundreds of tiny bells, two of the stunning women turned their head, spotting his lone figure standing motionless between the trees. Eyes sparkling, they sprung forward, bare feet barely touching the ground as they twirled around him, delicate fingers tracing the lines of his wide shoulders and his heart fluttered and begun to hum an ancient song he had never been taught and yet he knew.

His cloak pooled on the ground by his feet as their quick fingers unclasped the buckle and Steven was overtaken by gratitude, for the cloak had been weighting him down, a superfluous piece of heavy cloth, too warm, standing in the way of their pleasant touch—the chainmail was lost next, having him bound, suffocated---he only had the mindfulness of the precious doves to thank to for freeing him of his burdens.

His sword long abandoned beside the shield and his dagger, their giggle echoed in the open space, whispered back by the lindens and oaks, as they aided him to lose his boots too, those shackles preventing him from joining their joyful dance.

Each of the goddesses interlaced her fingers with his, pulling him into the whirl and twirl, his heart light and overflowing with happiness unknown until that very moment.

The sheer beauty of his female companions would have been enough to bring him to his knees, already growing weak from exhaustion; the delicate lines of their physique, hair he would serenade for its softness, lips lush, begging to be tasted, eyes sparkling with life—and one pair of the most dazzling eyes glassy with unshed tears, smiling, yet heavy with sorrow, never leaving his frame, never shying away from his fascinated gaze, her own boring into his very soul and weeping for it.

Steven truly ceased to breathe and his heart rose to the moon and stars themselves when she broke the circle and reached out to him the exact moment his legs gave out under a sudden wave of dizziness. Steven succeeded at staying on his feet only for her and the brief hint of a smile on her tempting lips.

Then, this incarnation of the goddess of beauty herself was drawn back to her place as the dancing and singing went on, weariness settling deep in Steven’s body. Too frantic, too swirly, too noisy—too little breaths, too little beats of his heart, his feet too slow, not even hoping to match the swift and elegant movements of his dance partners.

Glancing at the stunning woman-like creature following him with her mournful gaze, Steven had been offered a sight of her tears. His heart ached for he saw her sadness; he wished to dry the salty droplets, to wipe them with the pad of his thumb, to kiss them away-- but his hands were trapped in strong grips of his companions, not allowing him to as much as budge.

Darkness edged his vision and more and more tears escaped the wells of her eyes. Before Steve realized what was to happen, his worn feet tangled and he collapsed to the ground, grass and moss soft and damp under his cheek.

The music and singing didn’t cease, the circle simply shifting few feet away so his heavy body wouldn’t be in the way of the ancient dance, old as time itself.

Steven’s vision blurred; the last thing he felt before his mind abandoned the feast of the forest spirits was the woman – for whose smile to see he would both kill and die – cupping his cheek.

 *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･

From the moment the sunrays ceased to paint the sky in warm colours, your heart appeared to be called out by a presence unknown to you until tonight.

Tonight--oh, the precious night, the dreaded night, as every year, a man would appear in the middle of the celebration of the gods and joined your circle, only to leave it before the fire could even begin to be lit.

Too weak, your sisters always whispered, dismissing the human as a lesser being, consumed by the feast, the most cherished night of the year.

It is to be as the Gods wish, they would laugh, pulling you back to the circle, the dance swift to take up all of your attention.

It is as it was meant to be, they would assure you as another soul left its vessel by the dawn, their elegant fingers scattering cowslips all over the cold body, enchantment whispered in deep voices resonating in your very soul, until the corpse was swallowed by the sacred ground.

You’d only contribute by tears, watering the earth with salt and sorrow, until your sisters – in soul, not blood – would hold your hands, tugging you to join them in collecting the sweetest dew, healing all plant life and animals, the magic of the previous night persisting in its droplets.

And as day blended into night and night into another day and night—you’d be soothed by the beautiful circle of life, for until the Walpurgis Night crept in anew and the history would repeat itself.

But tonight, oh, tonight, Gods bless this night and curse it-! Let it never end—for that the man who had appeared this night was too good, too beautiful, his presence blissful and warming, radiant, his kindness as if glowing through his whole being--- basking in his light alone brought tears of delight to your eyes—turning to ones of sorrow and terror when your sisters pulled him into your dance, a dance macabre for every ordinary human being.

Every human being; except you. Mother’s magic sheltered you, keeping you safe, but oh, oh, if he was to die, then who were you to live--

His eyes barely ever left you, as if he could hear the trees whispering it was you, it was on your conscience; pointing their barky fingers at you, they accused you of every life lost and the truth they revealed. All the men, they had been seeking you, seeing to bring you to the castle where you had been stolen from and then left to die.

They don’t deserve you, Findling. You are ours to protect, ours to love. Don’t you love us too? Have we not given you home? You are safer in the forest than with them; they gave you up before.

And the truth they spoke too, your sisters; here you were welcomed. Only Gods withheld the secret of what would await you in the city. It could be death for all you had learned.

And did you not belong here?

Were you not grateful enough to stay?

Not tonight-- oh, tonight, you wished to leave, to redeem the kind soul trapped in the claws of death, ugly claws slowly dragging him away since the moment his strong body found its nest on the forest floor.

Breaking the circle was an offence, the greatest; yet, your heart begged you to do so, to hasten to kneel by the handsome and the oh, oh so good stranger, your fingers tracing his lovely features, gazing into his eyes – the colour of the sky meeting a glassy surface of the lake – watching you intently until they fell close.

Tears dampened your cheeks, the swirl and twirl of the wind and dance cooling them down, but only vainly hoping to sooth the burn in your heart, the pounding ache.

Your sisters let you, finishing their gift to the Gods, the exquisite dance of life and only then, Aeliana kneeled beside you, fingers curling around your wrist and pulling you away, your handsome stranger remaining motionless aside from shallow breaths, thin clothing over his body and nothing else; he had discarded it all, left at the mercy to the cold of the night. Just like every man before.

“Come, Findling, leave the fellow to his fate.”

Your feet moved unwillingly, step after step building a distance from him, your head spinning from the ache squeezing your chest.

Could she not see?

“He’s of such kind heart, sister. Should we not spare him? Do we not protect kind men from harm?” you queried, interceding on his behalf.

Such a handsome man he was. And his soul, so gentle-

“Kind as he might be, he shall meet the fate the Gods have prepared for him. Come now, little Findling, the fire is to be lit soon!”

Your vessel heavier than you remembered, you followed her back to the gyration of joy, sparing your stranger one more longing glance.

“May the Gods protect you for you are already dear to me,” you prayed for him, having no power similar to your sisters to keep him safe, your words nothing but simple sound. “May the Gods protect you.”

And should they not, then I will.

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･

Cold seeping into his bones was the cause of a rude awakening; his fingers and his toes hurting, a biting coolness blended into pain with how insistently it clawed at him.

A shudder shook his whole frame and for several moments, as he walked the thin line between wakefulness and the bliss of a dream, Steven remembered how he had once believed that the sensation would be everlasting. He thought so every winter, when due to ever-present cold, his weak body suffered from the illness with ferocity unknown to stronger men.

He grew up strong and healthy, yet the memories of icy cold remained, a reminder of how he had to be grateful for every little blessing in life. Steve didn’t recall feeling such cold for few winters now, certainly not when welcoming a new day; and a new day it was, the sun, lacking its summer warmth still, danced behind his closed eyelids.

A weight on his chest wasn’t feeling any more familiar, far from the sensation his covers ever offered and that, more than anything, caused him to open his eyes.

Steven was welcomed by green; a green of the meadow, a green of the lindens and oaks and… and a fading green of a wreath resting on the head of the sweetest creature lying – to his profound astonishment – on his chest.

His heart sang as he recognized her soft features at instant.

It was her. The beautiful woman with the mesmerizing regretful eyes was sleeping on his chest, covered in droplets of dew, sparkling in her hair and in the withered flowers of her wreath, causing her to look even more ethereal than the night before. She felt a warm feather-light weight on him despite the see-through spiderweb-thin fabric, only so-so covering her fragile body in places where Steven’s eyes shouldn’t even wander if he was to remain proper.

He observed her, perplexed and grateful to Gods; what for he wasn’t certain yet. For letting her live?

She appeared so dream-like, so fragile, yet her body kept its warmth as if not affected by the freezing cold biting into Steven’s own skin. He would have thought he had been the one to protect her from freezing to death; and yet somehow, it appeared as if it was the exact opposite. When he swallowed against the lump forming in his throat and found courage to trace the pads of his fingers over her bare arm, her skin felt soft and warm, unlike his.

The breathing weight on him shifted at his daring touch and Steven would have regretted disturbing her sleep hadn’t it been for her luscious lips parting, her small hand over his heart flexing in his shirt, the tinniest movement sending a strand of her hair tickling his face and wrapping him in a heady flowery scent.

Hadn’t he been lost to her the night before, he would have given her his heart the very moment her eyes fluttered open, thick eyelashes calling for attention, framing a pair of the most mesmerizing irises he had even seen.

Hours could fly by and Steven wouldn’t have noticed; not when her gaze lingered on his face, locked with his and then… then she smiled, a wide and yet soft curve of her lips and Steven, who might have suffered from cold gnawing his body only a moment before, felt his heart melt; wondering what had he done to be blessed by the Gods guiding this stunning fairy into his arms.

“You are to live,” her voice caressed him and his hand acted at its own will, curling around the smooth arm it had stroked earlier.

Only then, her words rang in his ears, their meaning, and he couldn’t but reciprocate her smile. A complete fool he was not; he had a solid ground for believing she was the very reason he was still breathing. All of his predecessors had caught their death, only for their armour and clothing to be discovered untouched; seeing as he had apparently shed his own as well, he hadn’t been meant to survive.

The stunning beauty on his chest had saved him from freezing to death.    

“Yes, my beautiful fairy. I feel like I have you to thank to for such blessing,” Steven whispered reverently, his heart swelling in his chest. What had led her to such action? Why had she protected him? And how was she not freezing? Was it her magic? “How is it you are not cold yourself?”

Seemingly unbothered by his touch, she brought her palm to cup his bearded cheek, as she had the night before. “It’s a gift, one of many from mo-- oh Goddess, you must go, now-!”

Ignorant to the dread in her eyes, Steven revelled in her tender touch, nearly crying out when she withdrew and went to stood up in one graceful motion.

“Fairy mine, of what-“

“You must leave! Surely Mother would be furious to see I have not left you for death to take! Go, run-“

At her words, Steven’s brows furrowed. He did not want the woman’s mother to be angry with her for she had helped him. Climbing to his feet, bare toes stiffened and almost blue, he barely found his footing. His suddenly fearful fairy took his hand and guided him to where he had left his attire.

“Hurry-"

Steven’s body listened, his fingers, slightly numb from the cold, reaching for his chainmail and cloak; yet, his eyes remained fixed on her, basking in the light of her presence. She truly was exquisite; for all she had been breath-taking in the moonlight, in daylight she glowed brighter than the sun.

“What may I call you, fairy mine?”

Her delicate hands, frantically aiding him with his cloak, ceased their movements, resting on his shoulders as she looked up at his face and while confused, she replied with a gentle shook of her head, sending her silky hair sliding down her shoulders.

“I do not have a name. Mother and sisters call me Findling. It is of old language, it stands for a-“

“- foundling,” Steven stole the last word from her lips, astonished. At that moment, he could be knocked out with a feather. She was-- his beautiful savoir, his stunning fairy--- his hands rose to her cheek to caress the skin, impossibly warm given her modest clothing.

She truly was still alive. The long-lost princess, believed to be dead for years by nearly everyone… was still breathing, a tragically forfeit daughter growing into a beautiful woman with a heart of gold.

Her eyelashes fluttered, shy gaze lowering to the sacred ground.

“You’re human,” slipped past Steven’s parted lips and her features, already tender, softened as she elevated her gaze, irises deep as a sea and sorrowful for whichever cause.

“Yes.”

“I found you—no, you found me. You are--- come with me-!”

As if a lightning struck her very being, she slid from his grasp and retreated several steps, heading towards the trees. Without hesitation, Steven followed her light footsteps.

“We must go. You must leave the forest before the wrath of Mother finds you,” she said, voice carrying nothing of its earlier softness.

Steven mourned its loss; his strides much longer than hers, he stooped in her path and carefully took a hold of her wrists. She appeared agitated now, frustrated that he was thawing her plan to lead him to safety as quickly as she could.

He cradled her jaw then, seeing as she halted in her steps despite her indignation. Even angered, she was the most precious thing he had ever laid his eyes on.

“Why wouldn’t you come to the castle with me? Your family mourns you,” he whispered, his thumb stroking her cheek unwittingly. “And I-I--“

I can’t even think of not seeing you again. Your smile. Gods, your smile…

Lost to the emotions swirling in her eyes, dancing across her features, a sudden thunderclap snapped them from their intimate conversation, practically causing his heart to stop in fright.

Steven instinctively stepped between her and where the noise had emitted from; the menacing sound had not been sent from the sky, he was certain of it as the sun still illuminated both him and the Princess.

“Mother,” his fairy whispered fearfully, easily slipping between Steven and the woman-like creature materializing between the trees, only few steps from them.

Steven liked little what his beautiful foundling had done for he was supposed to be the one to protect her. However, he could barely deny that he stood no chance against the Goddess, the Mother. His muscles could not even hope to compare to her magic; and could he feel it, the power crackling like a lightning in the air, a premonition of a death sentence.

Before Steven could as much as speak a single word, his fierce defender fell to her knees, head bowed in submission to her judge and jury.

“Mother, please, punish me for my insolence, for my felony—but harm him not. He is nothing but an innocent soul, too good to-“ she pleaded frantically, voice honest and trembling, striking Steven right in his heart, causing his chest to tighten.

His stunning fairy, the kindness incarnated, begged for his life.

No hesitation. No remorse. No care for her own well-being.

“No!” Steven blurted out, sidestepping her, only to freeze in his tracks when the Mother raised her hand, commanding him to stop without uttering a word.

Stunned, Steven didn’t dare to speak more, to move an inch; the creature carried herself a Goddess indeed, the Queen of the woods, the sovereign of magic itself. Purple and red twirled in her eyes, strict and yet somewhat kind, powerful. She walked measuredly to the pair of them, her outstretched hand slowly falling until she could reach the precious fairy, palm laying down on her head, caressing her hair, sliding lower until she forced her to raise her chin.

Then, the Mother smiled a gracious smile, seeing her daughter’s tears, tears which made Steven’s ribcage ache. She spoke in a voice deep enough to touch Steven’s soul, mighty and yet gentle.

“Did you believe I would punish you, Findling?” she questioned, sorrowfully almost. “For the love you carry in your soul, your kindness to strangers whose good heart you see even without ability to match ours? No, my sweet child. But you shall be reminded of the warning.”

Steven stiffened further. What warning?  Was a punishment still to be carried out? In contrary to her words- he could not let that happen, not to his little fairy he had only just found--

As if sensing his outrage, as if reading his thoughts – and for the briefest of moments, Steven wondered if the powerful creature possessed such ability –, she levelled her gaze with his, one corners of her lips twirling, her smile turning into something resembling a smirk.

“Be at ease, soldier, I do not wish to harm her, quite the opposite. We have her wellbeing in our hearts always,” she assured him, an army of women, actual fairies, appearing behind her back out of thin air, side by side, serene and beautiful. “You think us savages, son of Joseph. We are not. We would never abandon a child, crying and starving in the woods, left to die. Certainly not for a twisted vendetta.”

Struck by genuine surprise at both the sudden emerge of the ethereal creatures and the Mother’s words, Steven couldn’t let out a sound. He was rendered speechless, overtaken by the memory of Wanda addressing him the very name the Mother had, similar magic reflecting in her eyes.

What did it mean? What—how-

“If I should leave…” the former princess whispered, rising to her feet for her sovereign, only to be interrupted.

“You lose our protection, yes. You shall be an ordinary human again. Short of the joys our life brings.”

Steven found himself utterly lost in their conversation, a hunch nudging at his mind, an inkling of what the Goddess could mean by her words, painting a picture in his head he couldn’t quite grasp. Like a fool, he only observed the scene unfolding in front of him, feeling useless and ashamed for his inability to as much as move an inch.

“Thank you, Mother. Sisters,” his fairy bowed with a smile on her lips and tears sparkling in her eyes. “You have been kind to me. A true family. Perhaps the time has come for me to leave.”

The Mother smiled at her kindly, nodding and taking her hand between both of hers, squeezing gently.

“May your life rest in the hands of the good man tasked to bring you to your birthplace and tear you away from where you had found home.”

“May I… visit?” the Princess asked shyly, rewarded with a chorus of chuckles, thousands of tiny bells ringing in fine tune.

“You may always find a home with us shall you ever feel the desire.”

“I shall,” she echoed and turned to the awe-struck Steven, her shining eyes finding his gaze. “Shall we be on our way?”

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･

Your feet were on the verge of giving out; unfamiliar with the cold biting into your skin, every step a rough sensation, every branch and stolon hurting, each thorn felt like a dagger in your soles.

And yet… your body was floating, a hand, gentle fingers, curled firmly around yours; you had lost sense of who was leading who. It was you and then it was him, it was a dance you had never knew and it had your breath caught in your chest; slightly painful, endlessly blissful.

The absence of words bothered you not. The chime of the birds and the whispers of trees carried a lovely tune and all was well.

“What will happen to you?” he asked, your handsome stranger, the kind soul calling out to yours since before your first encounter. “What was the… Goddess talking about?”

Moved by his concern for you, a brief smile passed your lips. You did not have the heart to tell him of the sensations, so human, yet unknown to you. You could sense it already, a true weariness – and finally, the vivacity too. You were nothing but a human again, the protective spell, casted upon you to keep you from harm commonly deadly to ordinary men, fading.

“Oh, Mother? Do not wear your head, I shall be quite alright,” you assured him and he, the sweet man he was, raised your hand to his face, caressing its back with his lips ever so softly.

“It is my duty to wear my head for you, fairy mine…”

His duty was it not. A heart-warming sentiment? Certainly. Your smile widened, a hiss escaping your lips only a moment later.

A sharp pain cut through your sole again, a shiver running through your whole being.

Cold and pain; your life from now on.

Faster than you could hope to comprehend, your companion stopped in his tracks, kneeling in front of you, tender and rough fingers examining your left foot; to your astonishment, a red liquid stained your cold skin, thick and heady. Blood. You had never bled before.

Genuine worry creased his forehead, his bright eyes looking up at your face as your teeth sunk into your lower lip; partly to cover your pain, partly from guilt as he observed you with tender accusation.

Pulling out a knife, he released your shaky foot in order to cut off a band of fabric from his thick cloak, swift fingers wrapping it around your wound.

“Thank-- thank you,” you stuttered, taken aback by the strange sensation of the cloth against your skin, your world swaying to side for a bit. You were bleeding, the fluid of life leaving your veins. So strange.

He shook his head, rising to his full height; a peculiar thrill it gave you, tilting your head back to maintain eye-contact.  Mesmerized by the colour of his irises, you barely noticed he stripped the cloak, securing it over your bare shoulders.

Before you could utter a word of protest, he scooped you into his strong arms, cradling you as if you belonged there and nowhere else. A feeling of infinite rightness overwhelmed you, nearly rendering you speechless.

“Oh no, put me down. It only is a brief faintness and pain-“

Securing you in his hold as if he had not heard you, his embrace grew firmer and looked into your eyes with gravity.

“You are not to walk barefoot, let alone on such cold morning, in the woods no less,” he argued, his hands warm against your unusually cold skin, his fingers caressing you and effectively causing words to get stuck in your throat. Taking a notice of your sudden speechlessness, he smiled. “Rest, little fairy. I will protect you.”

“I am not a fairy, son of Jo-“

“Steven. You should call me Steven, shall you be willing.”

As delighted as you were to learn his name at last, your concern remained unshaken.

“You will tire yourself… Steven.”

Swallowing the peculiar sensation of thrill his name created on your tongue, you busied yourself with the matter of his wellbeing. He soon would exhaust himself should he carry you. Surely, he must know that? He was strong, yes, an impressive mass of a man, shoulders which could carry the weight of the world and the curses of all Gods shall it come to it… but-

“With what, my sweetness?” he questioned lightly and began to walk. “You barely weight more than a feather. And you do appear a fairy to me. Beautiful. Ethereal. Like a fairy from the tales told to the good children so they would dream a sweet dream.”

Charmed by the compliments, your heart felt like it grew in size, filling your chest with each beat, sweet and dizzying. Uncertain how to show your gratitude and favour, you reached out. Your palm cupped Steven’s jaw, a touch featherlight indeed.

His breath caught in his chest and for a moment, you worried you must have done something which was not to his liking. But then, he nuzzled your palm, eyelids falling shut, a soft smile painted on his lips and you understood you had merely surprised him by your actions.

“You are too good to me, Steven.“

“Oh, my sweet fairy… you are too. Know, I would lay down my life for you this instant if you asked me to.”

An uncomfortable lump grew in your throat at such admission, tears stinging in your eyes as you thought of how little would suffice for him to meet his death for you, only the night prior.

“I would never ask. So many have lost their lives for me… I am feeling the deepest regret-“ you sobbed and his arms wound around you tighter as if shielding you from grief and regret weighing both your heart and conscience.

“It is not for you to blame yourself for what your father has done to find you.“

“Steven-“

His lips—oh Gods, his lips, warm and tender, brushed your palm still laid on his jaw, then proceeded to your forehead, warm breath caressing your hair. You lost your voice at the affection gifted to you, a single silent tear rolling down your cheek.

“Oh, sweetness, my name on your lips is like music…” he whispered, voice low and thick with emotion that sent a shiver – this time somehow pleasant – down your spine. “Lay your head down now, fairy mine. We have a journey ahead of ourselves still. I shall watch over your sleep like you have watched over mine.”

Your hand hesitantly slid from his neck, settling on his chest, his strong and oh so kind heart humming under your palm. Obediently you laid your head into the crook of his neck, a scent unknown but pleasant curling around you, causing your head to spin.

You closed your eyes and laid your life into the hands of the good man who had come to bring you back where you had been born; precisely as Mother had said.

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･

He had been greeted with delighted shouts full of excitement and surprise, people dropping whatever had they had on their hands only to follow him as he had carried his fairy, the Princess, to the castle, to her family.

The King and the Queen had been spending over a day with the long-lost princess, agreeing she truly was who she was, while Steven had been treated like a knight, provided with luxury unknown to him, luxury he found unnecessary; yet, who he was to refuse and offend the hospitability? Especially should it outrage the King?

Facing King Anthony now, he was asked to rise from his knee as he was promised to receive the greatest honours, enough food and money for a lifetime and a place at King’s Guard.

“You have done my kingdom an inestimable service, Steven. What else do you ask? Say the word and your wish should be granted,” the King of Starkerbürg offered generously, gesturing to encourage him to speak his mind.

And Steven wondered.

What could a man wish for? What more than he had been offered? For the people he loved to be treated in the same manner? Certainly, he could demand that? To give his friends a wedding they deserved, to ensure they would never have to worry about a place to lay down their heads, about feeding their children and themselves?

As his mind wandered to his friends, so deeply in love, he couldn’t but think of the Princess, of his beautiful, precious fairy. Oh, how had he already missed her, not having seen her for two days almost. His heart ached for her smile, for her soft touch.

However, a fool he was not. Asking for her hand would be unacceptable. The King would never allow it for Steven was nothing still; the King would never agree to wed a potential heiress to anyone but a lord, a prince of another land perhaps. Steven would be not surprised should the King already set plans in motion to offer her hand to his friend, Prince Thor of Asgard.

Steven couldn’t even dare to ask for what an insolence- a laughable demand would it be.

Swallowing his grief at that, his heart torn, a gaping wound in his chest, he asked for a fraction of what he desired. What more could he wish for that for being allowed to bask in her presence at least? Watching her afar, yes, but perhaps… he could speak a word with her, from time to time-

“My King… I—”

“Yes, Steven, please. Speak. I am listening,” King Anthony hurried him, short of impatient.

Shy and bold at the same time, Steven could barely raise his voice enough to be heard.

“Shall the Princess ever agree to it when she is recovered… may I—may I speak with her again?”

The crease forming on the King’s forehead meant nothing good and Steven stiffened, instantly scolding himself.

A fool! Natalia always told him he was one. The most foolish of all fools!

“Of what could you possibly speak with her? What motivation could you have? Perhaps… why should she ever as much as look at you, Steven?”

Squeezing his eyes shut, Steven lost all will to speak as his voice betrayed him. He shook his head in defeat.

“Oh no, please. Do enlighten me,” the King continued, slowly rising from his seat, towering above Steven due to the three steps which led to the throne.

Steven bowed, shaking his head again. “Forgive me, my King. I should never have asked such a daring question-“

“Oh no, colour me curious, I would like to know what you have to say to me to this matter.”

“My King, I do apologize, I—I-“

A suffocating silence fell on the Royal Hall when Steven trailed off, tension heavy and menacing as he could sense the realization dawning to his King.

A complete fool, Steven. For all he survived the journey to the woods, he returned only to be beheaded by the King for a moment of rash boldness. A damn half-wit!

A gasp left the King’s lips and Steven clenched his jaw, hanging his head, awaiting his sentence.

Blood pounded in Steven’s temples, growing in intensity with each moment no words were spoken.

Two sharp claps of hands, as loud as a thunder in the empty hall, bounced off the walls instead and a rustling of chainmail instantly followed, heavy boots rushing to King’s aid.

Without much decorum, brute force knocked Steven down to his knees, a sharp pain jolting up his joints as they dug into the hard floor, one pair of firm hands pushing him down, another grabbing his wrists to keep them locked behind his back.

“Gods protect us from minds as feeble as yours,” King Anthony snarled, awe-struck and outraged all the same.

A pang of longing gnawed at Steve’s heart as his suspicions were confirmed. While the indignation at being thought of as of a lesser human being flared in his chest, the injustice nothing short of irritating, he didn’t utter a word. A harsh hand gripped his jaw, yanking it upward, forcing him to look into King’s eyes where rage twirled with contempt.

“You foolish nitwit! How could you even think I would ever allow you to—to WHAT? Court her? Gods forbid wed her?! To put your—your filthy hands on her?! Oh my, MY! You will not as much as LOOK at her ever again, you UNDERSTAND?! Gods- you--- you- TAKE HIM! Dungeon! Right this instant! You fool, you scum, you PERV!! Get him off my sight-!”

Yanked up without fight on his side – because truly, what the point would be, he was in the castle, he wouldn’t escape the many men of King’s Guard –, Steven was dragged away, meeting the raged glare of the King for the shortest of moments. King’s much obvious disgust hurt, but not nearly as much as the thought of never seeing her again.

His beautiful, ethereal fairy.

Because he would never as much as get a glimpse of her ever again--- or perhaps he would, at his own execution? The King would make a huge spectacle of it, he was sure-

The heavy door to the hall were pushed open, Queen Virginia walking through them gracefully, the guards only bowing their heads frantically before they proceeded to tug Steven away.

Steven’s heart ceased to beat when his eyes fell on her; no, not the Queen, but her companion; and then it started singing, bliss and delight at his wish being granted not by the King, then by the Gods themselves.

She carried herself as light as she had when he had seen her the first time, the night of Walpurgis, shining brighter than the moonlight, than the sun itself, as exquisite in her royal blue gown as she had appeared in her modest attire of thin white fabric.

Gods, she appeared ethereal and where the Queen’s shoes clicked against the floor, hers tapped, causing Steven to smile. She might be wearing a dress worth a months’ living, but she remained barefoot. He would be afraid about her catching cold; however, he rested assured that her newfound family and servants would never allow it to go as far.

Where Queen’s brown furrowed, her face lighted up impossibly at the sight of him; and Steven knew he would die a happy man. Such delight in her eyes was the greatest gift he could be given and he shall accept it and take it to afterlife.

“My King,” the Queen greeted her husband shortly, apparently confused at the scene unfolding in front of her. Steven paid her no mind as the gaze of his stunning fairy followed him, the spark in her eye fading, clouded by bewilderment. Steven’s chest tightened at the loss. “What-“

“Wait!” the Princess piped up and Gods bless, the guards halted in their steps, hesitant gazes casted upon their king in question. “What is it we have walked into?”

The King instantly fixed a smile for the newcomers, not providing an answer to the guards on how they should proceed. Who should they listen to? The King or the Princess, an unfamiliar woman put on a pedestal?

“Oh, simply a little quarrel, dear sister. Worry not your pretty head.”

Steven grinded his teeth at the patronizing approach.

She was not a child; and naïve she might be, untrained in the procedures of the court, but feeble-minded she was not. She might have not grown up around ordinary men, but her eyes displayed wit and understanding of human nature deeper than of several people Steven had encountered.

Her gaze flickered between the King, the Queen and Steven and her face lost any resemblance of a smile for a moment long enough to bring sorrow to everyone present. Her eyes lingered on Steven the longest and while aware he should not, he basked in her softened expression, his chest heaving in pride.

A brief smile passed her lips as she turned to her brother, her long eyelashes fluttering. Steven couldn’t take his eyes off of her. She was a dream coming to life.

“A little quarrel? Then surely it can be solved without such violent behaviour, without handling a man, who brought me home, with brute force,” she said, innocence incarnated.

Her gaze flickered to Steven again, a spark of emotion he couldn’t hope to unravel in them.

King Anthony wavered, silent for a moment as expectant gazes of his wife and his sister were casted upon him. Pretending to be mollified by his sister’s remark, he beckoned to his Guard to release Steven; much to Steven’s surprise.

Upon that action, his brilliant fairy smiled brightly, her fingers getting a hold of her skirts to get it out of her way, scampering to Steven as the guards took a step back. And Steve truly could die a happy man at such gesture, feeling blessed. She chose to grace him with her attention; him, not the King, her brother.

Against his will, a smile formed on his lips, all ache disappearing from his chest, his knees, his roughly handled wrists. Her whole demeanour glowed with sincerity as she came to a stop only a step from him, her head tilted back a fraction as he stood taller above her.

From the corner of his eye, Steve could see the King stiffen, his hands balled in fists. Steven paid him little attention; how could he do any different with the breath-taking woman so close to him, looking up at his face with her full lips curled up in an inviting smile, eyes mesmerizing as always?

“You are not to walk barefoot,” he remarked, quickly catching himself and in hope to maintain at least some etiquette, he took one painful step back, bowing to her, “Your Highness.”

The grind of King’s teeth could be heard as Steven spoke up without permission. In all honesty, Steven had no care in the world. If he was to die, he might as well walk through paradise before meeting his end.

“Whatever has happened to ‘my fairy?’” she questioned sweetly, eyes full of wonder, the corners of her lips losing its happy curve.

In another world, a world outside the lovebirds’ little universe, the King was searing, nothing but a growl coming deeply from his chest. Queen Virginia laid a soothing hand over his heart, scolding him by one single look for his barbarian ways.

In his own paradise, Steven’s heart pounded and swelled, touched by his fairy’s hopeful question. He cleared his throat as a lump grew in it, torn between the need wrap her in his love and keeping his head on his shoulders rather than have it cut off.

As much as he was in her favour, surely the King would hate him should he as much as attempt to court her.

“It is not proper, Your Highness. I should have not-“

“But you should, Steven!” she whispered feverishly, her tender hands cupping his face, tears turning her eyes glassy. Steven’s breath hitched, his insides twisting painfully. “Or do you not feel for me what you have felt before?”

The very moment, Steven realized he could not care less about being a fool as long as he would be a fool for her. His shoulders hunching, he bended down to meet his beauty’s gaze properly, his palm covering the back of her hand on him, caressing affectionately.

“Oh, sweetness, fairy mine, I shall cherish you for as long as I live,” he declared. Which might not be too long, he thought, considering the King fuming as he watched them, prepared to tell the guards to pierce Steven’s heart with a sword right here and now, apparently.  

However, the beautiful smile reappeared, a single tear rolling down her cheek as one of her hands slipped lower to rest against his chest, feeling his heart hammering no doubt.

“Then I shall hope you will live long…” she whispered, inching away to look at the King with undying hope indeed. “Shall I not, brother mine?”

Oh, feeble-minded she was not and she very much did understand what she had walked into.

If Steven was bold enough to read anything into her actions, her gestures, her affection, he would believe she carried him in her heart, in her mind as much as he had been in his and truly-- when had he deserved such blessing?

“Oh, for Gods’ sake! You want to keep him?!” the King demanded, exasperated as he was aware his question was nothing short of pointless for her favour was evident.

“Keep him? In my heart? Oh, how I wish for it, brother dear!”

The King shuddered at the addressing, moved by her voice holding such joy and wistfulness. Oh, how she had him wrapped around her finger! Her persona was as enchanting as the night Steven had encountered her; a human and yet a fairy, her charms stronger than the magic of the forest creatures who could only wish to match its power!

“Husband. Anthony…” the Queen chimed in, a mischievous smile playing on her lips. “Do you not recall your father’s disapproval? Fond of your choice was he not. Not fond of me in the slightest.”

“For he was a fool,” the King scoffed, meeting his wife’s gaze.

“Then do not be the same fool,” she retorted and despite himself, Steven couldn’t stop the corners of his lips twitching, more so when the King pouted at his wife’s remark.

Peace in his mind, recognizing his head was not to be chopped off in the near future, Steven feasted his eyes on the stunning fairy, her touch still soft on his cheeks, her smile illuminating the Royal Hall, nothing but pure love as she gazed up at him.

The King grumbled something incomprehensible, sighed and finally gave his approval.

The Princess’ laughter rang loud and joyful as she dropped her hands from Steven’s face in order to run to her brother, assaulting him with a fierce hug which caused the King to stumble backwards.

“Thank you, brother! Thank you! I would have come back to the woods should you not-“

“Whoa, whoa! No woods, you stay right here, even if it’s with this fo-“

“I am so happy, brother mine!” Her kiss smacked on the King’s cheek, his sudden panic resolving, an actual blush colouring his face, much to Queen Virginia’s amusement.

“Alright, alright, no need to smooch me, young lady-“

While was the King in fact basking in the affection from his long-lost sister despite his words demanding restraint, his eyes met with Steven’s. And for the briefest of moments, they shared a deep understanding; a similar knowledge of what was of the highest import.

As long it would make her happy, they would do anything. Even put up with each other’s presence.

Without a warning, the Princess left her brother’s embrace again and rushed back to Steven’s arms. Worrying not for being scolded and executed anymore, he smiled at her widely and welcomed her, hands locked on the back of her thighs, lifting her from the floor so she towered over him for once.

Awed at the heights she found herself in, she bent down to Steven’s face, her lips brushing his, loving and euphoric; her kiss sealed the deal and their happy beginning. 

No one – not the grumbling King or his Queen, not the delighted Princess Fairy or her beloved, let alone the still perplexed members of the King’s Guard – noticed the gust of wind dashing through the Royal Hall and the silent click of the door.

In a ramshackle house at the edge of the town, Wanda smiled when her brother brought her the joyful news and her fingers brushed the powerful pendent, a gift from her Mother, once more resting heavy on her chest.

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･

Notes: Yes, it got away from me, AGAIN, and more than usual. Sorry?  

I hope you had not been repulsed by the possibly crappy and totally mixed up representation of old religions; then again I think all is fair in a fairy tale AU 😇 Also, sorry if the language sounds weird; I tried.

I’d like to thank @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan​ once more for letting me participate in her challenge and I thank you all who have made it to the very end of this long-ass fic. Any feedback is always appreciated.

P.S. - if you feel brave enough, I’d be delighted if checked out my Masterlist