#stereo is my guilty pleasure

[katyawriteswhump]

I hear your voice (and it carries me)

for @steddieangstyaugust day 17 prompt: 'Keep breathing, please."

Rating: M WC: 1700 CW Drug-use Tags: Established steddie, alternate canon season 4 (with details fudged and twisted for my own plotty purposes.)

What if Vecna came for Steve first, not Chrissy? (No actual death, I promise, just guilty-pleasure pop and major angst…)

...

Eddie climbed through the window that Dustin had left open and into Steve’s hospital room. His boots smacked too loud on the floor, and his every muscle tightened.

Steve was wired up to a series of bleeping machines. Plaster casts smothered three of his limbs. His neck was in a brace, and his face was half-lost beneath an oxygen mask.

Eddie knew, of course. Steve had arrived here in a far worse state than this. 

Still one helluva punch in the gut.

He tiptoed to the bed and located Steve’s Walkman, which had been dumped on a trolley. He slipped it back over Steve’s ears, careful not to disturb the mask. Dustin and Robin had played a showstopper in convincing Steve’s mom that Steve would want constant pop. 

Unfortunately, the medical staff kept taking the darn thing off.

Eddie didn’t switch the cassette on right away, however. He anxiously smoothed Steve’s hair.

“God, I’m sorry,” he said brokenly. “I panicked, Stevie. I was too fucking scared. I should’ve broken your fall, and I should never have let you… I… I shouldn’t have…” He pressed his lips to Steve’s cool, clammy brow. A fat tear dripped from his nose. “Keep breathing, Baby. Keep breathing, please.”

“CODE RED, I REPEAT THIS IS A CODE RED! EDDIE, DO YOU COPY?” 

Dustin’s yell blasted through Eddie’s walkie-talkie. Eddie scrambled to turn the volume down.

“Henderson, what the heck?”

“Eddie, the night nurse has started her rounds early. I repeat—she’s started her rounds early. You gotta get outta there NOW.”

…

One week earlier

Steve lay flat on his back on Eddie’s bed, shirtless, and with his jeans tangled round his knees. Eddie was sprawled on top of him—a smokin’ hot mess of sweat and hair—and kissing Steve stupid.

Steve should’ve been in a happy place. He was sucking Eddie’s face off, grinding himself up into Eddie, while Eddie pawed hungrily at his ass. Eddie wanted in, and Steve wanted nothing more than for Eddie to bone his brains out.

If only he could shake these stupid jitters.

Christ, the blood pounding in his ears drowned out the mega-loud Aerosmith track on his latest mixtape. He was also dog-tired, and sick of it. The nightmares had ruined his sleep for days.

And they were all total bull.

Yeah, Steve felt guilty about shit. Not only about Barb, though that was a biggie—there was so much he’d screwed up in his life. He sucked. He got it, blah, blah, blah.

No way was he buying into crazy hallucinations where Eddie yelled and hated on him. Let alone ones where Robin transformed into a squelchy tentacle monster. He was going out of his tiny mind. It was the only reasonable explanation, and the only answer right now was…

Eddie broke the kiss. “You okay, Babe? Still got a headache?”

“I’m fine.” Steve dabbed his lips, shivering because Eddie was too far away already. “I’ll be fine. Gimme more of the good stuff, okay?”

Eddie turned down the music. “Seriously? You mainlined poppers earlier—enough to lay low a daddy buffalo. That shit means business.”

“So I do. Stop being a freakin’ pussy.” Steve wedged his hand between Eddie’s thighs and purred. “I can totally handle it, and if I do turn to mush? Means I can take even more of this big boy.”

“I’m not sure, Stevie… Oh shiiiit.” 

Steve mercilessly squeezed Eddie’s dick, batted his lashes. Yeah, he’d beg if he had to. Anything to feel less tense and haunted, to feel he was actually in the room with Eddie. 

He never had to.

Eddie pulled a dopey face, started rummaging through his stuff. Steve dragged his jeans up with fumbling hands. He maxed out the stereo volume—snickering because Eddie was gonna literally piss himself when the track-after-next started—and wandered toward the kitchen to get more beer.

….

Eddie located a shoebox full of snazzy lil’ multicolor poppers and a sachet of Special K. Then his frazzled brain caught up with him.

He’s already had waaay too much. Okay, he’s still revved as fuck, but THAT’S NOT NORMAL.

He ditched the shoebox, grabbed a jar of Acetaminophen. After tipping all but two pills out, he peeled off the label. He’d tell Steve they were hardcore tranqs. Shifty, but… Screw it, he cared about Steve more than he’d ever cared about anyone. Yeah, Steve had bugged him for downers. Eddie should never have caved. He vowed, one way or another, he’d wean his boy off ’em.

He was, admittedly, launching his campaign the coward’s way. Had to start somewhere, right?

“There you go, Honey,” he said, wandering out. “Boneless bliss just moments away.”

Eddie stopped in his tracks. He dropped the jar. Steve stood motionless in the middle of the trailer. His eyes were lidded, twitchy with the occasional flash of white.

“Steve?” Eddie dashed forward, started shaking him. “Talk to me, Steve. Wake up! Can you hear me? I don’t like this, Stevie.”

Shit! He’s ODd already!

Eddie jostled him, pleaded with him. Right till the moment Steve levitated up into the air and smacked into the ceiling.

Eddie staggered back. The Black Sabbath track blasting from the stereo ended. Silence reigned.

One of Steve’s arms twisted the wrong way at the elbow and popped. Eddie screamed, then actually pinched himself, because this had to be a horrible dream, and then…

‘Ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth?

Ooh, Heaven is a place on Earth’

Belinda Carlilse. Belinda fucking Carlilse. Yeah, Steve loved to sneak pop-tastic hits onto his mixtapes. Eddie would always crack up, plus he didn’t hate them either.

One of Steve’s legs contorted with a sickening snap.

‘They say in Heaven, love comes first

We'll make Heaven a place on Earth…’

Steve’s eyes flashed from white to brown. He fell, landing with a horribly crunching smack.

In the blur of the next few minutes, Eddie called an ambulance. He leaned close over Steve’s blue-ish lips, sensed the faintest warmth, though didn’t dare touch him. His eyes bled. He looked so… broken. Eddie prayed to some WASP deity he’d never believed in that he was the one having a really bad trip.

He went with Steve in the ambulance and held his limp hand on the ride. They’d already got that mask on his face, the brace around his neck. At the hospital, Eddie watched Steve’s gurney disappear through swinging doors. He collapsed in the waiting room, buried his face in his hands.

Steve’s parents arrived soon after. They joined the doctors in bombarding Eddie with thunderous glares, until the truth finally glimmered.

They believe I did that to him.

Even if… WHEN… Steve wakes up, they’ll say we were both high as fucking kites. They’ll blame the satan-worshipping freakshow.

Convinced the cops were on their way, Eddie fled via a fire escape. While he was holed up at Reefer Ric’s, two teens were murdered. The whole town now believed Eddie was the monster behind those crimes, too.

“Way to go making a play for the FBI’s Most Wanted list,” Dustin said, when he brought Eddie supplies. “If you hadn’t run, those deaths would’ve got you off the hook. Not that you’re exactly innocent. You know your fun-time sweeties repressed Steve’s breathing as badly as the neck injuries? Sent him into that coma?”

“Wow, you’re a real genius! Never dawned on me. Oh, hold on. IT’LL TORTURE ME EVERY GODDAMN MOMENT, OF EVERY FREAKIN’ DAY, FOR THE REST OF MY CURSED LIFE.”

At least the kid had a theory about the attacks, supernatural sorcery shit that blew Eddie’s mind. Also, one of Dustin’s friends, Max, was apparently lined up to be the next victim. For some wild reason, the only thing keeping the killer at bay was endless Kate Bush.

“Eddie,” asked Dustin, while Eddie stared into a box of Cap’n Crunch he’d literally no appetite for. “Is there any music you reckon might help Steve?”

…

‘In this world we're just beginnin'

To understand the miracle of livin'’

Steve was beyond sick of Belinda.

She ebbed and flowed through his consciousness pretty much constantly. Trouble was, whenever she was randomly gone, as she was now, the swirling red fog around him thickened. He was confused, and yeah, he was frightened. He’d not heard any squelching footsteps or booming synth voices lately, but he sensed that thing was still out there.

He occasionally heard talking. People poked and prodded him, and breathing was sometimes a scary battle. He tried to talk himself once or twice, but he couldn’t even open his eyes. He was lost and sick and hurting and… so lost.

Right until he felt somebody stroking his hair. Then a moist feather-soft brush on his brow. 

Eddie.

He’d recognise Eddie’s kiss anywhere, whether rough or dumbass levels of sweet. Eddie was here. Eddie was with him. Steve strove harder than ever to fight free of the choking fog.

“Keep breathing, Baby.”

Eddie’s voice. Broken and distant, but it was him.

“Keep breathing,” Eddie whispered, “please.”

“CODE RED, I REPEAT THIS IS A CODE RED! EDDIE, DO YOU COPY?” 

Steve’s blood literally jumped. Shit, was that Henderson? “Eddie, the night nurse has started her rounds early. I repeat—she’s started her rounds. You gotta get outta there NOW.”

Too much. Steve’s head was too muddled, he didn’t understand. He finally fluttered his eyes open and latched his blurry focus onto Eddie. Who startled like a coyote bit his butt. Steve would’ve laughed, if he’d gotten the lung power.

“Steve? Steve!”

Eddie seemed spooked. Steve’s heart rate skyrocketed. He was in a hospital bed. He’d got some weird plastic mask thing on his face. When he tried to lift his arm, pain lanced hotly. 

Oh God, oh God!

He fixed on Eddie and felt himself calm a little. “Please,” he murmured, his voice a barely-there rasp. “Don’t go.”

Eddie squeezed Steve’s hand and smiled gently. “Not if I can help it, darlin’.”

Steve faintly registered a door flying wide. A voice cried out, echoed by a wailing alarm. He somehow found the strength to grip Eddie’s fingers, even as Belinda Carlisle launched up in his ears again:

‘Baby, I was afraid before

But I'm not afraid anymore…’

Eddie’s hand was torn away from Steve���s loosening grip, and Steve slipped back into the fog.

...

(Steve is okay, Vecna got distracted and El whipped his ass anyway, then Eddie get off, and it all ended happily... promise!) You tube link to 'heaven is a place on earth' for other 80s pop obsessives

Thanks for reading! All my ST fic on AO3

[valley-of-headcanons]

If I can request, you did the way the bachelorettes react to ex-stardom. I enjoyed it so much and would love to see it for the bachelors too?

I love your writings ;u; ♡

bachelors reacting to your ex-stardom || headcanons

being in the limelight was fun for a while, but settling down is definitely what you needed. but how would your partner react to your past? part one here!

warnings: nothing that i can see! :)

requested by: anon! hii, thank you so much for the request! this topic is pretty interesting, and i really enjoyed writing for everyone! be sure to check out part one, it adds a little more context and i think it's super duper cool and you're definitely missing out. anyway! hope you enjoy :)

alex

• You and Alex were on the beach, resting after tossing around the Gridball. He got on the topic of his dream of playing Gridball professionally, and how although he wanted to make it big and turn his passion into a profession, he wouldn't know what to do with himself. He's been such a shut-in these last few years, only really hanging out with you and his grandparents. The fame sounds so scary. But ... you knew that all too well. He didn't know that, though. Maybe it was time.

• You slowly told Alex that you knew a lot about being famous, before explaining who you were. “Wait- what?! Why didn't you tell me sooner?! I love your music! Genuinely, like I listen to it all the time ... I know it's not really the manliest choice and it's my guilty pleasure- not to say men shouldn't listen to your music! Oh my yoba- sorry- ... I love your music. That's what I'm trying to say. It's really really good.”

• As you explained why you left the limelight, Alex nodded understandingly. “Yeah, Gridball will always be a dream of mine, but the people I'd be around are probably not good. Maybe staying in the town isn't such a bad idea, huh? I don't think anyone could really beat hangin' with you, grandma, and grandpa.”

• Alex soon opened up about which of your songs was his favorite, and asked in depth about them. There were some that really spoke to him emotionally, and he had a really bad time dealing with that sort of stuff. The fact that you created something he relates to makes him happier than ever! He scored pretty good, if he says so himself.

• Regardless of your old fame, he's still deeply in love with you. He admires your talent, but that doesn't overshadow how you've helped him in his life since you've actually been in it. He will still listen to your music, but maybe a little more publicly. He wouldn't tell anyone unless you said it was okay, but he'd totally be bragging about you if he were allowed.

elliott

• Elliott was not having a great writing session. He invited you over, incredibly stumped with his latest novel. He was bouncing ideas off of you left and right, but nothing would stick! You mentioned that music could be an inspiration, and it was like a lightbulb smacked him in the forehead. He raced over to his stereo and turned on the radio. A cheese-y pop tune ... YOUR cheese-y pop tune. He was embarrassed over the pop playing and immediately turned it, but he did notice your expression and inquired.

• You explained that the song on the radio was a song that you wrote and sang yourself. He was startled at first. “I didn't know we had such a big star in our midst! Are those your lyrics as well? I didn't pin you as such a wonderful writer, but I am so grateful! Someone that shares my writing prowess! I knew some invisible string brought us together!”

• As you continue to explain your past and why you came out to Pelican Town, Elliott nods along, hearing your story. “I didn't realize how similar we are. I understand wanting to get away from it all, that's why I'm out here as well. I suppose you came here to get away from your work, and I came to get closer to it. How awfully poetic that is, don't you think?”

• He asked a lot of questions, really diving deep into your mind. Of course, he only asked if you were comfortable with it. He loved analyzing people's minds, especially if they were different from his own. He may or may not use some of these aspects of your life in his new novel. With your permission, of course. You've always been his biggest muse.

• Elliott is invested in your life, like any good partner should, and admires your creative talent. This only heightens his view of you, as you are an artist, just like him. Despite the different mediums, you two share a lot in common. He would love you regardless of this aspect, but this only draws you two closer.

harvey

• Harvey was giving you a check-up, which was a bit unethical now that you were dating, but eh. He's the only doctor in the town and he's very worried about your health. He noticed that you mentioned a previous injury when checking your knee reflexes. This injury has occurred in a rehearsal for one of your tours. You didn't want to lie to your sweet boyfriend, so you had to admit the truth.

• As he wrote on his clipboard your reasoning, he stopped for a moment. “Tour? Popstar? Is this one of your sarcastic comments that I'm not getting? ... oh, really? You've never mentioned that part of your life before. Please, if you want to open up about it, show me some of your work once we get home. I hate to admit, but I'm fairly curious,” he said with a soft, caring smile.

• When you two get home after the checkup, he starts to cook dinner. “Please, keep me company while I cook. If you'd like to share some stories ... well, only if you're comfortable with it, I know that you got away from fame for a reason, but ... I want to know that part of your life, just like I know this one. Indulge me, if you would, my love.”

• He tries his best to support this part of your life, even if he wasn't involved. He ends up purchasing a lot of your old music and keeping a collection, showing it as a sign of affection. He listens to it while he does household chores, humming along to your songs happily while you're away.

• Harvey didn't mind this aspect of your life. It was another thing that made you the person he loves. He listens to everything you say and pays attention, specifically to the parts of fame you enjoyed and didn't enjoy. He only asked about the stuff you liked, and allowed you to open up about the hard times on your own, when you were ready. He was incredibly careful about the whole thing, and wouldn't dare make you uncomfortable.

sam

• As you and Sam were relaxing in his room one day, he was fiddling with his guitar. He seemed super stumped, strumming random chords to try and make some sense. Nothing was working ... he eventually showed you something that sounds sort of functional? But this rhythm was VERY similar to a song you put out a long time ago. You let out a soft giggle, which left Sam confused. You had to explain now.

• You drop the fact that you were a popstar in a nonchalant manner, trying to make it not a huge deal. But it's Sam. Of course it's a big deal. “No. Fucking. WAY! You're kidding, you've gotta be fucking with me! And you didn't tell me?! For SHAME! As punishment, you've gotta tell me all about it and I will refuse to change the topic. Now SPILL!”

• You explained who you are and why you left everything behind, which Sam thought about for a moment. “Wow ... I never really bought about fame that way. That must've been a lot, and I really do get why you came all the way down here. I'm just glad you're here now, y'know? ... but if you do end up getting the itch to create some music again, with no strings attached to fame, I'm always here. I'd love to create somethin' sick with you.”

• Sam always asked questions about the parts of fame he didn't know much about. Did you go to any parties? Was this person actually chill or were they a dick? He was so curious and asked probably the weirdest questions imaginable, but they were refreshing. And if you weren't the first person Sam showed his music to before, you were now. He always asked for your approval, and asked how to improve. It was extremely sweet.

• Even though he was excited about everything you had presented to him, he tried his best to be respectful. If you asked him to stop, he would with a nod and a quick apology, giving you a small kiss before putting the topic to bed. He still loved you for you! This aspect about you is just so cool and interesting to him. He adores you regardless, and wouldn't trade the current version of you for anyone else.

sebastian

• Sebastian had just finished working for the day and needed to relax. He flopped down on his couch and pressed the button on his radio. The pop station came on, and he was about to turn it before you walked in. You were shocked to hear your own song playing, staring at him with wide eyes. He makes some sarcastic comments about how this is actually his music taste and you just don't understand him. He doesn't understand why you're so shocked, though.

• As you slowly drop the bomb, he lets out a little chuckle. “Hah. Funny. You can drop the act, I can tell you're fuckin' with me ... are you really a world renowned superstar with several albums with hundreds of chart toppers? Like I believe that! Why the hell would you choose Pelican Town of all places to live, huh? This is the type of town you need to run away from.”

• You eventually have to explain why you left, why that lifestyle really wasn't you. He's actually at a loss for words for a moment, before nodding. “I didn't expect that out of you, you really are full of surprises. Tell me more, if you wanna. I'd be willing to listen. If you don't wanna talk about all that shit though, it's fine. Whatever you wanna do,” he said with a welcoming smile.

• Your music was FAR from what Sebastian listened to commonly. His Radiohead collection can attest for that. But ... he decided to take a listen to your music. He's very picky usually, so this is a pretty good feat. He actually kind of enjoyed it, for once. Maybe you're leading him down the path of liking something that's not edgy. Hmm. That's nice.

• Sebastian found this part of you incredibly interesting, but he didn't ask many questions. If you wanted him to know, he would, and he respected that. He loves hearing you talk about anything that you're passionate about, or just hearing you talk in general. It's arguably one of his favorite past times.

shane

• You and Shane were sitting by the pier one night. This was Shane's safe spot, attempting not to start drinking again. You two spent several afternoons sitting under the glow of the stars with an old cassette player and some of Shane's favorite songs. One of these nights, he mentioned that his childhood dream was to be an actor, and how weird fame seemed. He would hate being famous ... and you did too. This would be a perfect time to drop this bomb.

• You mentioned your past to Shane, but he brushed it off. “Uh huh. And I'm actually a famous bowler but I fucked up my arm and now I'm destined to live the rest of my life in this little shit hole. Oh, my poor dreams. How sad,” he said, his dry humor biting with sarcasm. He noticed your facial expressions ... they weren't sarcastic. “... I'm sober right? You didn't spike my drink or somethin' and you're tryin' to fuck with me ... huh. Now that's a topic.”

• You explained everything, mainly about why you came back here. You figured Shane wouldn't really know much about who you were, that's not his type of music anyway. “Huh. Nice. I figured you were just some corporate big league who got tired of the white walls. A lot of things make a lot more sense, I guess. You're a lot more talented than I thought ... sorry, that was mean- let me rephrase ... you are talented. I really am tryin' to get better about that ...”

• Shane didn't ask much about it further, but would listen if you brought it up again. He ended up stumbling across your work ... it was way better than he imagined. Maybe because it was you. It was a source of comfort to him, and he often listened to your beautiful voice when he was in a dark time. It helped him through a lot.

• He didn't mind your past, you had a lot less skeletons in your closet than he did. He liked hearing your voice, so it was a win-win. He got this down-to-Earth side of you that he enjoys being around, but he can also listen to his star-studded partner whenever he wants. He wouldn't tell you that, though. That's his little secret.

[seenoversundown]

Amongst The Stars: Chapter Eight

Josh x Quinn (Nonbinary OC)Warnings: Craig, pining, general feelings of self doubt, guilt Word Count: 4.4k Summary: Josh has always loved love,  and he's finally found it. Buuuut, he can't exactly tell anyone. Join him as he navigates the ins and outs of his sweet, secret romance. Author's Note: Sorry this is so late! I had a crazy day at work. But, here we are. I am not gonna lie to you, I don’t love this chapter. Not because of the content, or because I’m unhappy with it. But, I don’t love it because I know what happens next :) Again, forgive any weird formatting. Desktop Tumblr hates Josh, you heard it here first, folks!

“Hold you in my arms, I just wanted to hold you in my arms” Starlight - Muse

Being this excited about getting my things from Craig’s house feels wrong. I threw a years-long relationship away. I should be at least a little bit upset, but I can’t find it in myself to care. My only regret is that Willa can’t be here with me to help pack. She had some work thing and couldn’t get out of it since everything moved so quickly. I wasn’t anticipating Josh being so willing to help, but I had to jump on the chance when it was offered. It has been an absolute pain in my ass not having access to my clothes or my entire stock of art supplies. I haven’t even had my sketchbook. It was the one thing I meant to grab before heading to Willa’s house, but I managed to forget it. Before I get too into my feelings about it, my phone buzzes, and I know it’s Josh. I grab my canvas bag and head out the door without even pulling it out to check. 

When he notices me hit the bottom step, he scrambles out of the truck and walks around to the passenger’s side. 

“Hello, dear,” he gives me a shy smile as he opens the door. “Do you treat all your guests this way?” I laugh, jumping up and settling into the seat. He leans against the door, watching as I buckle myself in.

“Only the ones I like,” he winks, shutting the door before I can say anything else. 

Why is that attractive? Get it together; he’s just helping you move. 

He walks back around to the driver’s side and hops in. “I really appreciate this, you know.” “It’s nothing. Friends help each other out.” Right, right. Friends. 

“Wanna put the address in?” he asks, handing me his phone. 

I’m slightly taken aback; Craig would have rather died than hand me his phone for anything. I opened Apple Maps and typed in my old address before returning the phone to him. He fiddles around with the music app for a moment before putting the truck in reverse. 

“I hope you’re okay with pop music,” he looks at me from the corner of his eye, “It’s a bit of a guilty pleasure of mine.”

I smile as the opening notes to “Feather” filter through the stereo. 

“Perfectly fine by me. Your song choice is weirdly appropriate,” I laugh. 

“What do you mean?” “This song played in my car as I left Hobby Lobby the first day we met. My ex begged me to turn it off. I should have taken it as an omen.”

He barks out a laugh, and I quirk an eyebrow at him. 

“I’m not laughing at you, I promise. It’s just that’s the first day I ever heard this song. It came on shuffle when I went home, and I immediately fell in love with it. Added it to the playlist at my brother’s bar and everything just to piss people off.” I can’t help the wide smile that makes its way to my face. 

“Hell of a coincidence.”

“Indeed it is.”

We continue our ride in comfortable silence, letting the GPS guide us toward my old life with Craig. The end of my old life with Craig. Joy swells in my chest at the very thought of being completely done. 

Josh enters the apartment complex's parking lot and parks in the first free spot he sees. He shuts his car off, and his eyes soften as he looks at me. “I’m ready whenever you are. We’ve got all day, so if you need a minute to prepare yourself, take it.”

My heart squeezes. 

Josh continually amazes me with the care he shows those around him. 

“I really appreciate that,” I say, patting the hand he placed on the center console between us. “But I’m ready. I want to be done.”

He nods, unbuckles his seatbelt, and practically sprints out of the car to get my door for me. “You are entirely too sweet,” I laugh, unbuckling my seatbelt and taking his hand as he helps me down. “Nah, I just try to be a gentleman when possible.”

Why is that attractive? 

I internally shake myself. I don’t need to have these thoughts about Josh. He’s a friend who is doing me a simple favor. Even if he was into it, I can’t start a new relationship immediately after leaving Craig. How would I know it’s real and not some weird rebound situation? 

I couldn’t do that to Josh or me. 

“Get stuck in your head again?” Josh squeezes my hand to pull me out of my spiral. 

“Mmm, yeah. Thank you.” 

“Well, no time like the present.” Josh moves a hand to my lower back to guide me toward the apartment. 

Just another show of how caring he is. 

“I’ll warn you, Craig can be absolutely terrible. Just ignore whatever he may have to say to you.”

He flashes me an easy smile. “Oh, I’m not worried about him one bit. I’m here to help you, so let him act however he wants.” 

“If you say so,” I suck in a deep breath, then begin the slow ascent to the apartment. 

“I’m sorry that you kind of have to help me pack, too,” I fold my three-hundredth worn-out band tee and place it in the cardboard box in front of me. “The breakup happened so fast that I couldn’t pack anything before leaving.”

“Quinn, how many times do I have to tell you that I’m happy to be here? If I didn’t want to help, I wouldn’t. So, please stop apologizing.” 

I shake my head and roll my bottom lip through my teeth. 

“What's up?” Josh asks. 

“Nothing; you're just so different from what I'm used to.” 

“Well, hopefully, I can continue to surprise you.” 

“Oh,” I giggle, “I am certain you will.” 

Josh grabs the full box from me and tapes it up before scribbling “Shirts” on it and setting it aside. “I’ll take a load of boxes down to the truck in just a minute.”

Our conversation is interrupted by a minor crash outside the bedroom door. I roll my eyes. Of course, he’s throwing stuff again. Why couldn't he just stay out of our way? I immediately turn to apologize to Josh; it's not fair that he’s being subjected to Craig’s moods. But I notice that he’s walking toward the door. 

“Hey, Josh..” 

He ignores my warning and opens the bedroom door. 

“Hey man, can you keep it down? We’re trying to get out of your hair as quickly as possible, but we can’t do that if you're throwing shit around and distracting us.” 

I creep up behind Josh, peering over his shoulders at Craig. I know I shouldn't press this, but I have to see the look on his face when Josh calls him out. I see a faint look of recognition cross Craig’s face. That’s strange.

Craig didn’t initially spot us when we came in. I assume he was in the bathroom, but he definitely doesn’t look happy to see us now. His face contorted in rage, and I grabbed Josh’s arm, preparing for whatever he was going to say. I brace myself, knowing how Craig can be, and I can only hope that Josh is ready to face it as well. 

“This is real fucking nice, Quinn,” Craig bypasses Josh altogether, shifting his head to make eye contact with me. “What?” “It’s real nice that you bring the dude you’ve been cheating on me with over here to help you move out. What’s he gonna do, pack all your shit up into his truck, and y’all are gonna move in together like some kind of–” He cuts himself off. “Some kind of what?” Josh straightens his back and speaks directly to Craig. 

“Some kind of. Some kind of U-HAUL LESBIANS??” I burst out in an ill-timed fit of giggles at the sheer absurdity of it all. My giggles cause Josh to chuckle, and I see Craig’s face go beet red at the perceived slight against him. “You do realize that to be ‘U-haul lesbians,’ both of us would have to be women?” Josh says between bouts of laughter. “And neither of us are.” Recognizing that Craig has limited patience, I decided to try to smooth things over before Craig could try to hit Josh. “Also, not sure if you forgot, I’m moving in with Willa.” Craig opens and closes his mouth a few times. “As friends,” I add in to stop his floundering. I see Josh roll his eyes at my addition, clearly understanding what an absolute moron Craig can be.

Sometimes, I daydream about what my life would be like if I never got involved with Craig. Would I be happy? Would I have met Josh organically?  Would we be together? That’s ridiculous, Quinn. Why would you even be worried about that? He is your friend and nothing more. I scrub one hand down my face, trying to will those thoughts away. It’s too soon; my heart is still, for some reason, vaguely battered by the messy breakup with Craig. Though, at this point, I don’t know if my heart is battered because of Craig or because of the years I wasted with him. 

“It was lovely to see you, Greg. Now, if you’ll excuse us.” Josh punctuates his point by slamming the door in Craig’s face. I let out a relieved breath. “Thank you, Josh. You didn’t have to send him away. I could have done that.” “It’s no trouble, darling,” he says, placing a hand on my back and rubbing soothing circles between my shoulder blades. “I think you’ve dealt with him enough.”

I lean into his touch, accepting his small comfort before quickly remembering myself and pulling back. “Let’s just get this done and get out of here.” “Whatever you need, darling.”

That small sentence, whatever you need, darling, may be the death of me. This behavior comes naturally to Josh; it’s plain to see. He was born to be a light in the world, and he is slowly proving that to me over, and over, and over again. I only wish I could accept his light without feeling some type of misguided guilt. I owe Craig nothing, so why is he still dictating my feelings? Why is he still hindering the way I interact with other people? I pull myself out of my thoughts and begin surveying the room. 

“We really don’t have much left. I’m choosing to be the bigger person and leaving him the furniture because I don’t want him to have anything.” “Mm,” Josh adds a noncommittal noise to let me know he’s still listening. “What?” “You’re just a better person than I am.” I scoff, practically begging him to explain himself. He is sunshine incarnate, there is no way I am a better person than he is. “Well, if I were you, I’d be removing every single thing I paid for from this house. I’d tell him to figure it out.” I let out a small chuckle. “Oh, I could never do that; that’s horrible. He can’t get ahead, should he ever get his shit together, if I start him off on his own with nothing.” “See, you’re a better person than me. In my eyes, he made his bed, and he can lie in it,” he crosses his arms over his chest, “Or.. not. But, you know what I mean.”

His tough facade cracks as he starts laughing, which sends me over the edge. I fall into his side as we dissolve into a fit of giggles, and I feel his arm wrap around my shoulder, pulling me closer. I lean my head against his shoulder, trying to reel in my laughter. I shift my head to look at his face, taking in how his eyes crinkle up and his dimples are on full display. The laughter dies on my lips as I take in his pearly white smile and his plush, pink lips. I pull back from him like I’ve been burned. Too close for comfort, get it together. I watch as the smile drops from his face, and he clears his throat, walking over to the boxes we set in the corner. 

“Well, I’m going to take these down to the truck,” he pats the top box on the stack. “I, uh, I can help with that.” “No, no! Please finish up here, and I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

“Uh, okay..”

I watch as he heaves the first box and opens the bedroom door, revealing Craig eavesdropping. 

“Oh, hey, man.” “I just wanted to talk to Quinn for a minute.” Josh turns to me to gauge my level of comfort. Just another way he’s perfect. Stop that. I meet his eye and slightly nod. He huffs a small breath out of his nose as his face falls, just a hare. 

“Of course,” Josh steps aside and lets Craig enter the room. 

Once Josh exits the room, Craig stands in front of me, picking at his cuticles. “You don’t have to do this, you know,” he refuses to look at me. I give him a sad look, knowing that he is in denial and will not take well to the rest of this conversation. 

“You know that I do, Craig,” I start, gently patting his arm. “No, I really don’t,” He flinches away from me, and my heart cracks a little bit more. “How can you not? We have done nothing but argue for the past few weeks,” I pause, “Actually, it’s been longer than that, and you know it.” He scoffs, refusing to meet my eyes and instead choosing to look around the now sparsely decorated room we once shared. “So, you’re just taking everything?” “I’m leaving the furniture. But, yeah. Pretty much everything else. I either made or bought all the decor. So..” “I’m supposed to just look at white walls?” “Look, Craig. What is this? What are you trying to do?” He kicks his foot against the rug that our - his - bed sits on top of. “I’m trying to stop you from making the worst mistake of your life,” his eyes, filled with determination, whip up to mine. “You’re trying to what?” “You heard me, Quinn. We love each other, and you’re throwing it all away.” I want to roll my eyes all the way back in my head, but instead, I fix Craig with a tight-lipped smile. “I think that you should be quiet now, Craig.” “Why? Are you starting to realize I’m right, and you don’t want to think about it too hard?” “No, Craig. I’m starting to get mad.”

I turn away from him, trying to calm myself down. I look at the bare walls of our bedroom, expecting to feel some form of loss, but instead, I just feel determined. I know in my blood and very bones that I am making the right choice. I let my determined anger lead my actions. 

“You’re getting mad?” “YES, CRAIG,” I shout, “I’m ANGRY. I’m furious that you keep putting me through this shit. I have given you everything, and you still don’t think it’s enough. It’s never been enough for you, and it will never be enough.” “It’s always been enough, Quinn.” “Well, you’ve never shown that, and I cannot keep begging you to,” I hang my head and sigh, “I will not keep begging you. I don’t want to keep begging you to. So, we have nothing left to say to each other. This is done, there’s no salvaging it.” Craig flinches as if I’ve slapped him, and I may as well have. He’s always been less than stellar - understatement of the century - at handling his emotions, so I know that that statement likely felt like a physical blow in his mind. 

“What do you mean there’s no salvaging it?” He says as he takes a step closer to me, clenching his fist. I step back, but the tension in the room deflates as the bedroom door flies open, revealing Josh and his windswept curls. His eyes widen as he takes in the scene before him: Craig, with his fist held tight, creeping toward me. “They said what they said, Craig,” Josh interjects. “Didn’t ask you, Josh.”

Wait a minute, I didn’t introduce them. Craig knows the name Josh, but they’ve never met. The wheels start turning in my head as I look between them. They’re caught in a stalemate, staring each other down. 

“I wasn’t aware you knew each other..” Craig looks at Josh, then me, his face morphing into something cruel. “Oh, you didn’t tell her?” I roll my eyes at Craig’s slip-up, knowing he only does it to hurt me. “No, I didn’t tell them. We don’t exactly talk about you.” “So, you talk often, then?” “I’d say so, but never about you.” A lie.

I quickly turn and head toward the boxes stacked in the corner. As I move to pick one up, Josh rushes to my side. “What are you doing? I can help,” he says, placing his hand on my wrist. “The testosterone is so high in here, I can smell it. I don’t really care to be around it, so I’m taking my stuff to your truck.”

He looks properly chastised, opening and closing his mouth, trying to formulate an apology. I’m not sure if I care to hear an apology right now. From either of them. They’ve been keeping secrets from me and bickering like old maids about it. I couldn’t really care one way or the other for an apology or an explanation. I just want to get my things and go. Josh nods his head and uses his thumb to rub a soothing circle along the inside of my wrist. I struggle to suppress the shiver that runs down my spine. I meet his eyes and let a small smile creep to my face. He pulls his hand back from my wrist and gives me a shy smile in return. 

“Are you kidding?” Craig practically shouts, breaking the peaceful moment between Josh and me. 

I clear my throat, fixing him with a glare. “I don’t think you’re the one who gets to ask questions right now. I actually think you, both of you, owe me an explanation.” My annoyance bubbles to the surface again. I can’t believe Josh kept this from me. Craig, yes. Josh? My stomach feels slimy at the thought. It feels wrong that my new friend would keep secrets from me when I’ve been an open book to him. If I ignore the amount of misplaced pining I've done over him. It’s not pining; it’s normal to think about your friends. “Quinn, believe me,” Josh starts, “I didn’t want to keep this from you. But, I figured it would hurt you more than help you to know that Craig came to see me at Hobby Lobby.” My eyes slide from Josh over to Craig and I cock an eyebrow, asking him to continue. “Uh, yeah. I did.” “And he came into my brother’s bar,” Josh adds, hoping that being honest now will save him from my ire. Craig looks over at him and rolls his eyes. “Telling Quinn all your secrets isn’t going to make her like you.” “I don’t care if they like me, they deserve honesty.” “You didn’t seem to think so when you told me not to mention it.”

Did Josh really decide to keep this secret? I could see Craig, but it just hurts worse knowing that Josh chose this. Would Craig have told me if Josh hadn’t sworn him to secrecy? Thoughts rattle around in my head as I try to keep the hurt from flashing across my face. I slowly blink a few times. Am I taking this too hard? No, Quinn – You are allowed to feel your feelings. Yeah, well why does it feel so annoying then? Pulling myself out of my internal struggle, I lock eyes with Craig. “Elaborate. Right now,” I huff. 

I listen in stunned silence as it tumbles out of Craig’s mouth that he basically stalked Josh and harassed him at work and again -  allegedly by accident, though I’m not sure if I believe that - at the tavern that his brother owns. I can’t help the shock that shows on my face as he elaborates on the fact that he talked down on me and Josh came to my defense. I glance over to Josh, while Craig finishes his story, allowing my eyes to trace over his features. I catalog the slope of his nose, and the spot I know a dimple pops out in when he smiles. I can’t really be mad at him, I think as my eyes get caught on the shape of his top lip, He’s too cute to be mad at. I shake my head, dispelling the thought. I should be angry with Josh. He may not have sought Craig out, but he certainly kept it a secret from me when he had ample time to tell me.

“This is insane, you know that right?” I look between Josh and Craig, ensuring that they realize I am talking to both of them, “In what world would you think that keeping this secret from me was a good idea?” 

I see the regret immediately flash across Josh’s face, Craig following shortly behind. 

“You’re right, Quinn,” Josh Starts, “I should have told you, but I didn’t want to get in the middle of your relationship.” 

“Littlelateforthat,” Craig huffs under his breath, causing me to roll my eyes. 

I turn to Craig, raising an eyebrow, “Well, do you have anything to add.” 

Craig simply shakes his head and leaves the room, putting an end to our conversation. I sigh, turning away from Josh and moving to pick up my final few boxes. 

“Whatever’s left in here is staying,” I say in a clipped tone, hoisting a box into my arms. I’m annoyed with Josh. I’m annoyed at the fact that I’m not more annoyed. It hurts that Josh didn’t tell me, but it hurts more knowing that it doesn’t matter. I was going to break up with Craig regardless. Hell, Portland’s a small town, they likely would have met each other eventually. But that should have been on my terms. And it shouldn’t have been a secret. “That’s fine,” Josh responds and picks up the last two boxes, following me down to his truck. 

The drive back to mine and Willa’s apartment is frosty to say the least. Josh has kept his metaphorical tail between his legs since the confrontation with Craig earlier. The only sounds that pass between us are the sounds of the radio and the occasional GPS direction. 

When we get back to my apartment, he wordlessly puts his truck in park and jumps out to open my door for me. We carry each box up to the apartment and into my (new) bedroom in complete and utter silence. When Josh has dropped the final box on the floor of my room, he finally heaves out a long sigh. 

“I’m sorry, Quinn. I didn’t want to keep it a secret.” He ducks his head, picking at his cuticles. 

“I believe you, it was just a shock.” He looks up at me with the most hopeful look in his eyes and I crack. I can’t stay mad at him. “Do you mean it?”

“Of course, Josh,” I smile, “But, I really should get started on unpacking.”

Josh nods his head, “Need help?”

“Oh, I couldn’t ask that of you, but I’ll walk you out.”

We make small talk all the way to the door, and I open it to usher him outside. 

“I really appreciate your help today. I couldn’t have done it without you, truly.”

He gives me one of his dimple-popping smiles and pulls me in for a hug. 

“Anything for you, dear,” he whispers into my ear, crushing me against him. 

It would be so easy to just… before I can rethink it, I turn my head and capture his lips with mine. It lasts just a second, a ghost of a kiss, before I pull back. What the fuck have I done? I quickly put a little bit of distance between us, taking in Josh’s wide eyes. “I’m so–” before I can finish my apology, Josh closes the distance between us and presses his lips against mine. I let out a small gasp and he takes the opportunity to deepen the kiss, sucking my top lip between his. My hands completely of their own volition wind their way into his unruly curls. He lets out a small Mmph at the feeling. His hands find my hips and pull me closer against him as his tongue traces against my lips, begging for entry. As if he’s searching for any possible way to get closer, closer, closer. 

Who am I to deny him? 

I sigh, giving him what he wants, and our tongues tangle together. 

I lightly tug at his hair and he lets out an almost growl as he lets his hands gently, tentatively, roam my body. 

His right hand trails up my back before coming to rest on the back of my neck, pulling me closer, closer, closer. 

He backs me against the wall next to the door and pulls his lips from mine, before moving to kiss down my neck. 

“Fuck,” I hiss as his teeth graze a particularly sensitive spot. 

No. But actually, FUCK. 

“Josh,” I start. 

“Mm,” He ignores me, continuing to press open-mouthed kisses and nips along my heated flesh. 

What am I doing? 

I shove him away from me. 

“What the fuck is this?” I say more to myself than Josh. 

“You need to go. I need you to leave immediately.” 

“I, uh, I,” He stammers. 

“No! Leave. Now! And please, just… don’t contact me. Clearly we’ve done enough.” 

I watch as he nods his head and leaves. 

Was Craig right? Is Josh the reason our relationship went to shit? Am I the one in the wrong? 

I can’t stop the guilt and thoughts from swirling through my head as I spend the rest of the night settling into my new home. 

I let the guilt eat at me even hours later, as I tuck myself under my comforter and ignore Willa’s frantic knocks on my door. 

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[thegracelessfaceless]

Coming Home From Work to Sal

Tw: drug use mention

It's been a long day

You might argue the longest

Regardless of the field you work in

Every interaction you had today was a difficult one

People where whiny and obstinate

Simple tasks turned tedious and frustrating

And the work hours just dragged by

Every second expanding and then collapsing on itself with each tick of the clock hand

Whatever they're paying you...

Today it just isn't enough

You want nothing more than this shift to end because at least you know that at clock out time, they can't exactly force you to stay

The moment finally gets here

Clock out time

And you beat feet to your ride home

And as you walk up the front steps

There he is framed in the doorway

Sal, hair mussed from his after work shower, baggy pajama bottoms featuring characters from Ricko's Modish Wife, and a band shirt for King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard

He holds the door for you and follows behind you as you shed your uniform on the way to the bathroom

And then listens as you unload your day

From the stupid overreaction about a small hiccup provided by Brandy in sales

To the complete Karen of an old woman who just kept haranguing you

To the fact that you totally overcommitted yourself with work duties today that were and weren't actually necessary

Sal diligently follows you from the bathroom and shower, to the bedroom (where he stole a few kisses and maybe a few squeezes too), to the kitchen where you both ate dinner standing up over the sink, and then finally to the living room

To console you on your bad day, Sal turns on your favorite guilty pleasure show

Even though watching it always makes him feel like happily slamming a door onto his head repeatedly

He engages in the show, and finds himself getting invested in it too

Also provided by Sal:

A foot rub after a long foot soak in the foot soaker Maple bought you for Christmas

Warm blankets

A big ol' bowl/joint/blunt/whathaveyou, if you partake. If not, Sal will have already handled this step himself before you got home

Your favorite snacks, along with some of his because he knows you secretly enjoy them

Hot tea/steamed milk/coffee, depending on your preference (Sal actually makes killer coffee despite not drinking it. He's surrounded by coffee drinkers, he had to learn at some point)

And then finally,

When you both retire for the night

Sal reads you a few chapters from whatever book he's reading

He could read you a stereo manual and you'd eat up every minute of it

You constantly suggest to Sal that he should make an ASMR channel on YouTube

Just his deep, raspy voice carefully articulating words so his Jersey doesn't show as much

Lulling you to sleep

And in those last few moments of consciousness, you feel Sal's lips press to your forehead

Goodnight Reader, I hope your day is better tomorrow and I love you

Vent section: For those of you who follow my blog and know my life, I work on a dementia ward. We got a new resident today. She is completely rude and hateful, incessantly talks, picks on/picks fights with other residents, argues for arguments sake, and biological functioned in the hall (TWICE). Needless to say, her presence has thrown off my entire work groove. I tried to compensate by deciding to do linens today, help out... For rooms 13-24... All of them. It was almost too much but I got it done right before my shift was done. I work 12 hour shifts so 15 loads was a completely doable task... Right? Anyway, while I was doing that, two of my residents (besties, Ms. Daisy and Ms. Eileen (all names have been changed for privacy and dignity)) managed to slip through the coded fire doors that lock down the hall (dementia patients wander and get lost easily, we have to keep them locked down for their safety). They didn't go far. The rest of the building caters to elderly people who just need a little help, and Daisy and Eileen went to the dining room on that wing. An elopement is when a resident manages to get completely out of the building, out in the world . So not even really an elopement. But mass panic ensued while we were trying to find out how they got out. Turns out they were camping the doors, and waited for a family member to come through and slipped out... Very crafty. One headcount later, administration finally left and it was back to dealing with the new lady, Glenda, who I'm sure will appear in many incorrect quotes on my blog. I normally completely loathe a new resident when we get them. As you can see, it throws off my whole day. I'll get used to her, figure out who she needs me to be, and be that person for her. I'm sure we'll end up thick as thieves. It's always the difficult ones that I end up liking the most.

[theesteemedladydebourgh]

Hiya Ange! Just finished reading the latest TFTDC chapter and it was WONDERFUL. The end of the chapter (no spoilers) mentioned Lily humming and singing a few words and I got to thinking....in this AU set in the 21st century....

Do you have an idea of the characters' music tastes? What muggle music do you think people were smuggling in to play at the Quidditch parties in the 2000s? Do you have a particular song you believe Lily was humming at the end of chapter 8? I'm so curious!

(I know you have the playlist, but wasn't sure if you consider that in-universe music that aligns to their taste or if that's more for you)

hi hi! 🥰

Ooh this is such a great question. So the TFTDC playlist is definitely much more my music taste than theirs, I’d say, as it’s songs that get me in the right emotional headspace for whichever bit of the fic I’m writing.

Now, for their music tastes…

Lily: I imagine Lily is pretty classic when it comes to her music tastes, in that she likes the Beatles, and 50s/60s music (Ella Fitzgerald, Peggy Lee, Aretha Franklin etc) and collects old records. But she also enjoys a good modern pop banger (it is 2019 after all), and I think she’d be a big fan of Florence + the Machine and Lorde. Also, in her early teens she was obsessed with Shania Twain’s album Up! (entirely because I also love that album). At the end of TFTDC 8, I think she was humming Anyone Who Knows What Love Is (Will Understand) by Irma Thomas, both because I’ve been listening to it a lot recently, and because the lyrics are somewhat topical 👀

James: I honestly don’t picture James as a huge music guy? In terms of Muggle music, I think he mainly listened to what Sirius was listening to (lots of rock, both from the 70s and the early 2000s. Sirius would’ve been hugely into Paramore), and then a sporadic scattering of wizarding bands. Oh, I think he also somehow accidentally heard a Carly Rae Jepson song at some point, and she’s his guilty pleasure music, except he doesn’t know how a CD player/stereo/phone works, and thus can’t access it and would never tell Sirius because the mockery would be unending (mainly because Sirius is a bit of a prick, and a ‘music purist’ and doesn’t have the ears to appreciate CRJ 😂).

Spoilers but James and lily’s music taste actually does come up in a future chapter

At Hogwarts, I think it must’ve been mainly wizarding music (which I don’t have enough musical creativity to invent haha), but probably infiltrated every now and then by the most popular songs of the day, and ofc some early Beyoncé, because who doesn’t love Beyoncé. I honestly don’t know a ton about early 2000s UK music, so I can’t give specifics, but I also imagine that they didn’t particularly care what they were listening to, I think that it was mostly wizarding songs that inspired intense fervor.

this was so enjoyable, thank you so much for that fun question, Kelsey!

[eddiemunsons-missingnipple]

so I love your playlists and the guilty pleasure mix tapes is hilarious would you do something based on your finding them and eddie hearing you play them

Warnings: Fluff no use of y/n implied dom/sub undertones if you squint warning of spankings over all pretty tame.

Based on this playlist

Credit to @stuart-townsend for the gif.

Today was like any usual day at the munson trailer on Saturdays. Eddie was outside working on his van while uncle wayne was back on days at the plant. You and eddie haven't been dating long but you do spend a lot of nights over at his place. Eddie tells you all the time you might as well move in since you do the cooking and cleaning while you're there. Which is exactly what you're doing today after breakfast you kicked eddie outside so you can get to cleaning. With just a big tshirt on and your hair in a clip you start cleaning the trailer.

After about an hour cleaning you decided you wanted some music playing to help the process seem less tedious. Walking into eddies very messy room which is calls "organized chaos." You rummage through countless tapes until you find one wedged all the in the back of his stand. Picking it up it says guilty pleasures scribbled on the side. Giving a quizzical look hoping it's not some audio sex tape you pop it in his stereo system. What you don't expect next is to hear "dancing queen by Abba" start blasting through his large speakers. Immediately you start laughing because how on earth is the self proclaimed "most metal guy to ever metal " secretly loving Abba. Skipping to the next song suddenly Africa by toto was blaring in your ears.

The music was so loud you hadn't noticed eddie standing in the doorway with a crazed look on his face. "What are you doing sweetheart?" You hear him barely over the loud music. Suddenly he shuts it off and turns to you with a panicked look. You look to him with big worried eyes "I'm sorry baby I was looking for some music to help me get through cleaning" Eddie looks at you and tries hard to hide his smirk at your worried face. He inches closer to you and teases "were you being a bad girl going through my things hm?" You shook your head no looking up at him with your doe eyes. He just laughs and scoop you up in a bug bear hug kissing you on the tip of your nose. "You better not tell anyone about this or it's 15 spanks for you missy." Then he says "I have you know metal heads happen to love Abba by the way. " You give him a big grin rolling your eyes "suuuure they do." "Do they also love Sade as well?" Smirking at you again "nah she's just hot" And with that he slaps your ass before heading back out to work on his van. Leaving you there to process what you just discovered about your boyfriend.

.

[bloody-fate]

tagged by @thechurchofsplatterdaysaints and tagging @phantom-kitten, @berserker-gene, @hellonursevenus, @soft-lunar-rose, @booger-sinclaire, and anyone else who would like to play!

Do you make your bed?

No, life's too short to worry about that or anyone who judges you for not!

Fave number?

probably 77 or 25, this last road trip for work made me realize I'm either an amateuer numerologist or maybe mildly OCD because I'd rather keep the stereo, cruise control, and AC at a number that "feels right" than something more practical

What’s your job?

Coast-to-Coast Construction Goon! In a lot of ways, it's my favorite job I've had so far, but being on the road for weeks can be excruciating. Every job is something new in a new place, so it's hard to get bored, but there's way worse things than being bored such as missing your cat.

Go back to school?

At this point, I don't know what I'd go back for. Def don't have the time or the money but cosmetology school may be cool. I got 3/4s of a journalism degree before seeing the going rate for a magazine editor being a $500 a month stipend and realizing I made that working stoned overnights at IHOP in a week, but! you don't need to go to school to learn something, you just need to go to get a degree and I definitely want to always be learning and growing and expanding my horizons. I believe that you start getting old when you stop being curious about the world.

Can you parallel park?

Oh yeah, spending the better part of your 20s delivering pizzas in Chicago will teach you lots of tricks.

Job you had that would surprise people?

Personal nurse, I guess? Did it through the state for a friend for a year while they were recovering from cancer. I guess it would be surprising only bc it's one of the few non-food or customer service gigs I've had.

Aliens real?

Statistically they have to be, but I don't think they built the pyramids or anything like that because we don't give them any good reasons to stick around and hang out. I believe everything in the world is magic and science is the process by which that magic becomes mundane and that aliens, cryptids, and other paranormal stuff is just stuff we don't have the tools to figure out yet.

Can you drive stick?

I get it in theory but never tried outside of Ridge Racer.

Guilty pleasure?

You're supposed to live life guilt free and seek pleasure in all things, hope this helps!

Tattoos?

Got a lot of em, one of my oldest friends from back home learned how to tattoo on me and is now a bigshot international tattoo playboy. Money was really tight for a few years and now my guy and I are too busy to coordinate an appointment, but I used to go at least once every month. Still got some pieces and spots I wanna cover. Last one I got was a beholder above my left hand!

Fave color?

Purple for so many reasons! It's my mom's favorite too and I love the smell of lavender, love seeing it in flowers and other natural things, love Prince and grape flavored anything!

Fave type of music?

Any and all, but punk has always had my heart and soul. Been going to punk shows since I was a wee babby and worked at multiple record stores, so I'm insufferable. The guitarist from Melt-Banana is probably one of the greatest living musical geniuses. Finally gave The Cramps a fair listen and I really dig them. Also this account believes Utada Hikaru is a living legend! Revisited Godspeed You, Black Emperor recently and I think they're one of the most important bands to ever live. Lately been digging Teengenerate, The Osees, Slowdive, Show Me The Body, and the new albums from JPEGMAFIA and Clairo! Send me your fall playlist and I'll send you mine!!

Do you like puzzles?

Not like putting pieces together picture puzzles, but I get a kick out of riddles and word puzzles. Had a coworker at the pizza place who knew a bunch off the top of his head and I got pretty good at figuring them out. Also sometimes my job feels like a less lethal version of a Silent Hill or Resident Evil puzzle so there's that.

Phobias?

Heights, flying, I have a reoccurring dream of driving up a really steep and narrow bridge that just ends before I can see over the top of the curve and I go over the edge, so I get real nervous and quiet when driving over them in real life in case the dream is prophetic.

Favorite childhood sport?

Skateboarding? not really a sport, but I have asthma what do you want from me? my friends in high school also had this game called Dodge the Bat we'd play whenever we were walking around the neighborhood where you'd take a metal bat and yell "DODGE THE BAT!" before throwing it at a group of our friends and everyone would just scatter. Even less of a sport.

Talk to yourself?

Constantly, though masking in public has helped a constant self-mumbler like myself look way saner lately.

Movies you adore?

So many! The Shape of Water is probably my all time fave and Guillermo Del Toro probably my favorite director. I have a list on my phone of Lucca Certified Horror Bangers. Most recent addition is Profondo Rosso (Deep Red for all you non-guidos out there) after watching it on @thechurchofsplatterdaysaints 's rec and being totally blown away! Must consume more Argento.

Coffee or Tea?

Coffee for the fuel, tea for the taste! Love an iced matcha from Dunkin, current favorite tea is Constant Comment but it changes all the time. I always make a lemon lift + constant comment iced tea in the morning in the once in a blue moon instance work is having me stay at a hotel that has both tea bags and a working ice machine.

1st thing you wanted to be when grew up?

Video game QA tester but really only because I thought it was the only job where you could get paid to play video games, but my years in the work force have shown me you can get paid to play video games at any job if you're sneaky enough.

[stellar-waves]

. k . 30s . she/her . daydreamer . maker .

welcome to this mess where i make waves of stories, art, thoughts, and self-doubt. this list will show you the latest works and take you on to more comprehensive lists within each fandom. my heart belongs to the ocean, while my eyes look up to the stars . . . and there is fiction in the space between . . .

my biggest guilty pleasure and ridiculous crush that started after i rented the movie from blockbuster video.

. stories + art .

recently completed

. . . staring down the sun [35] { connor x oc / series }

. . . when your heart beats in stereo { connor x reader / oneshot smut }

recent art

. . . omg it's nahman reedus!

what got me into writing fanfic two decades ago, specifically for bosco + faith.

. stories .

recently completed

. . . you're welcome

anything else that i love and find inspiration from.

. stories .

recently completed

. . . the voice on the other end [1] [2]

little written moments stemmed from my own experiences, starring my muse. not fandom-specific, but tagged simply for inspo source.

. written moments .

recently completed

. . . hope

my stupid crush film reviews

. . . the demon hunter

. . .

[stereogeekspodcast]

[Transcript] Season 4, Episode 9. Anne Rice's Interview With the Vampire

One of the best shows on television right now is Interview With the Vampire. The Stereo Geeks review the first two seasons and share their hopes for season 3. Spoilers ahead

Listen to the episode on Spotify.

Ron: Hello and welcome to a new episode of Stereo Geeks. Today we’re reviewing Anne Rice’s Interview with the Vampire. 

I’m Ron.

Mon: And I’m Mon.

Ron: We will be discussing both seasons of Interview with the Vampire so beware of spoilers. 

Mon: We have a long connection with the Vampire Chronicles. We heard about them when we became fans of the Aussie band Savage Garden, their name was taken from this series. We decided to give the first book a read and even watched the rightfully panned film adaptation. I’ve gone on to read several more of the books. 

Ron: I did learn from my WWAC colleagues that the movie was a box office success in North America. That’s not what we heard in our part of the world!

Mon: Oh interesting. Let’s call it a critical failure then. 

The books are an… acquired taste. They’ve certainly gone places–they’re weird, and sometimes problematic, but the appeal, for the few of us who’ve read them, has been the expansive, complicated world filled with characters who are not defined by labels. 

When I heard they were adapting the series into a TV show, I’ll admit, I was concerned. What exactly would they adapt? It’s easy to fall into the traps and tropes of a vampire story featuring two male, immortal leads–the film is there as proof. Would the show head the same way?

Season 1 thoughts 

Mon: I started watching the first season from a hyper-critical point of view. I was so immersed in everything that I thought I didn’t like that I clean forgot to enjoy the first few episodes.

In fact, I didn’t relax until you started watching it, Ron. And then I saw the show from a completely different angle–this is not a show that cares about your comfort. It’s a show about larger-than-life, extraordinary characters desperately trying to be normal. But what is normal when you’re an ancient vampire?

Ron: What made you so tense about the show? I remember asking you if I should watch it and you were so unsure!

Mon: The violence, gore, and depravity–these are not stylistic elements that I like to engage in in my entertainment, and Interview has a lot of that. So, I convinced myself that I didn’t like this show. It was a guilty watch, and maybe a guilty pleasure. But I was wrong–it’s not a guilty anything, it’s art; it’s storytelling. Interview is very direct about the pain and suffering these characters face and cause. This show made me realize something about myself, I don’t like being uncomfortable, and these characters make you uncomfortable. Deal with it. And now I’m ok enough to deal with it that we’re doing a whole episode on the show. 

Ron: Okay wow. I also don’t like being uncomfortable or cringey but those were the exact elements that took this show through the stratosphere for me. I loved the first season. I didn’t know what to expect from it but it was a fascinating character study, and an examination of relationships. It wasn’t afraid of being camp and queer because that’s what the people of the time didn’t want to see but Louis and Lestat were shoving the campness in their faces. And it really leaned into the unbearable discomfort of unhappy relationships. 

Ron: The race swap for Louis de Pointe du Lac, played by Jacob Anderson, was a stroke of genius. As was setting the start of the story in the early 1900s. It really complicates the story world and Louis’ relationship with Lestat de Lioncourt, played by Sam Reid.

Mon: You never know what brilliance will emerge from one change, but race-swapping Louis gives the show, at least in the first season, a whole new dynamic. I wrote about why this change elevated the story at Collider.com. We’ve linked to the piece in our show notes. 

Ron: Season 1 took us into Louis’ world. He’s a Black man making his way in a New Orleans that is very white and segregated. He’s still treated like a second class citizen even by the people who are regular patrons at his establishment. But among his own people, he’s terrified of being his true queer self. Lestat gave him a way to transcend the social norms of heterosexuality and race. But then Lestat is the one who becomes such a danger to Louis. We get a few episodes of the two of them just being happy together and then when they find Claudia, played by Bailey Bass in season 1, they’re this happy little family. Of course everything goes to hell. And so much of that is down to the toxic dynamic between Lestat, Louis and Claudia. 

Mon: The main reason the raceswap works, along with setting the story during the Jim Crow era, is that it becomes more than just a vampire story. Now it’s a story about race and discrimination, retribution and justice. Louis is white in the books, has plantation connections, which means he would have had slaves. Even if it was never addressed in the show, how much would we like, let alone, love him, in the show? 

Ron: I’m going to interject here to recommend a very good YouTube video by Princess Weekes about the numerous confederate vampire stories out there. We’ll link to it in the show notes. 

Mon: My favourite thing about the raceswap is that it gives new meaning to Louis and Lestat’s relationship. Suddenly the story isn’t just about lust and longing, it’s about saving and belonging. 

Ron: I am very impressed by the direction they went with for Daniel Molloy, played by Eric Bogosian. He is not afraid to call Louis out for creating this fantasy version of Lestat in his head for his memoirs. He’s also the one who puts into words that Louis and Lestat’s relationship was abusive.

Mon: The role of the interviewer in a story can be such a thankless and boring choice for an actor, and yet, Daniel Molloy, is as much a character in the story as Louis and the rest of the vampires. I was initially concerned with the choice to age-up Daniel that much, but there’s a whole new dimension to his and Louis’ interactions knowing that this is part 2 of their interview, and not their first meeting.

Ron: Speaking of the change to Daniel, I haven’t read the books. How faithful is this series to the books you read?

Mon: The show differs from the books quite a bit. Daniel being older is one thing, and this is, essentially, a re-write of how Louis told his story before. 

Claudia having a two-season arc is only possible because they fill out her role so much. And it’s for the better as well. I don’t remember Antoinette in the books–Lestat did not have a romantic paramour to make Louis jealous, not one I recall, anyway. He was just mean. The timelines are off, which isn’t a bad thing, but it’s hard to keep track of where I am in the adaptation. It’s small fry. The creators are using beats from the books to tell their story, not necessarily the same story as the books. 

Ron: So things like that reveal in the season 1 finale with Louis declaring Armand, his greatest love. That wasn’t in the movie so it was a surprise that got me. Especially since Armand, played by Assad Zaman, had been pretending to be Louis’ housekeeper Rashid all season. What a way to get us excited for season two. 

Mon: I loved that reveal. Did not see it coming. And I especially like that we get a Spaniard of Indian origin. Europeans of colour do not often show up on screen in a significant way. And it made perfect sense too–because, in the books, Louis and Armand are together.

Season 2 thoughts 

Ron: The second season has a very different tone and style than season 1. It’s very focused on the Théâtre des Vampires and there are extensive scenes of the rehearsals and plays the vampires put on. There’s a lot we see of a new character, Santiago, who is played by Ben Daniels.

Mon: Yeah, Season 2 is vicious, and stressful. This show does not ease up. And the tensions within tensions of who’s playing whom are diabolical. Plus, the threads that Daniel, and the viewer, keep trying to pull at about Louis’ story and Armand’s hand in everything that happened to Claudia make this riveting viewing. 

Mon: I don’t remember the Théâtre des Vampires having such a large role in the books, it was probably just one section. This is a significant change in the show, but gives Louis and Claudia the screen time needed to develop their relationship, not to mention we get to see Louis and Armand’s romance grow.

For some reason, I can’t remember Santiago from the books, even though I know he plays an important part in the story. I’ve just blanked him out. The show’s version is super memorable though.

Ron: The expanded world of vampires that we’re introduced to is interesting and grotesque. The first few episodes see Louis and Claudia travelling Europe during World War II looking for vampires and instead they keep running into the worst of humanity, because you know, war. And when they finally meet vampires in Romania, it’s an absolute horror show. They’re starved and near death and being led by this vampire who’s too old and too frail. It’s only in France that the coven finds them and for Claudia especially, this is such an amazing experience because she gets to be with vampires who aren’t abusive, like Lestat, or monsters, like Bruce from season one. But that doesn’t pan out either! By the end of season 2, the vampires are openly admitting to their monstrousness, but it’s just so unfair to Claudia, who got to see so little good in her human and vampiric life. 

Mon: See, this is why I’m so glad you decided to watch the show despite my apprehension. You’re watching this like a character study, which is exactly what it is. I don’t know what I was doing, but I’m so glad I get to chat with you about this show. 

Ron: Gee thanks. I’m super surprised by your apprehension. We’ve had such a long association with this story that I honestly couldn’t wait to see it. I didn’t expect it to be a character study but from the moment Louis appeared on screen, I knew this wasn’t going to be a salacious, surface-level plot about vampires killing people. 

Ron: The first season was really a study of the three main characters and their dynamic. In the second season there isn’t as much Louis but the world became so much richer, that I didn’t mind it as much. Lestat spends most of this season as Dreamstat, this idealized version of the real person in Louis’ head.  

Mon: Dreamstat is a cool nickname. 

Ron: I can’t take credit; the internet named him that. 

Mon: Funny that you felt there wasn’t enough Louis in Season 2. I was surprised at how little Lestat there was. It makes sense, of course, the first book doesn’t have much Lestat, but I didn’t think the show would sideline the main white guy. I’m very cynical. But Lestat taking a step back meant Claudia and Armand took centre stage, and I’m all for that. 

Ron: Delainey Hayles takes over as Claudia in the second season. Excellent choice. The casting change felt surprisingly seamless for me. 

Mon: Absolutely seamless casting. She matched Bass’s energy, but brought so much more anger and pathos. Plus, she spouted so much dialogue in so many different languages. 

Ron: Hayles managed to follow in Bass’ footsteps while making the role completely her own. Her screen time is expanded this season and that is for the betterment of the show. We get a proper sense of just how hard it is to be her, a grown woman trapped in the body of a child for all eternity. What was essentially a selfless act to save a child’s life has turned into a cruel and selfish decision that Louis and Lestat made on Claudia’s behalf. 

Acting

Ron: Jacob Anderson is remarkable. I love watching him. He’s so expressive but knows when to hold back. That scene in the 70s when he’s absolutely tearing into Armand, calling him boring, all while this fake blood is plastered on his face, it was so incredible to watch. The loving father-daughter bond between Louis and Claudia, Anderson absolutely sells it. In season two they’re more brother and sister because of Claudia’s insistence on it but one can see that Louis loves her like a daughter. And yet! Louis struggles to deal with the harsher side of being a parent. Learning the truth about what Bruce did to Claudia, Louis sits in his coffin and cries quietly. And the whole time I’m yelling to the screen, to Louis, to go and hug his child. 

Mon: BT dubs, there’s no Bruce in the books. 

Ron: Oh interesting. 

That final two-parter in season 2 when Lestat finally admits to having hurt Louis, and his apology, Anderson’s acting was sublime. Without a single word, just with his expressions, he tells the audience how little he thinks of Lestat’s apology. It’s a masterpiece. 

Mon: He’s stellar. Where’s he been all this time?

Let’s talk about Assad Zaman as well. He’s British of Bangladeshi origin. In Interview, we learn that Armand was originally Arun from India (which Bangladesh would have been part of during that period), sold to slavery and taken to Spain, where Marius found him, renamed him Amadeo, and then turned him into a vampire. He’s so good at playing this tragic character, a reluctant hero and leader, but also so devious. I’m just floored by the layers of his performance. He can convey so much by just sitting in place with his head cocked to one side. 

Ron: Assad was a delight to watch. Even with those contact lenses, you could always tell when Armand was being his true self, when he was hiding something, and when he was truly sorry about something that had gone down. I’m so glad he got such a large role here. It made up for the lack of Lestat. 

Mon: And let’s not forget the Brat Prince himself, Lestat. Sam Reid is so good at stepping away from the spotlight and then stealing it when needed. He plays Lestat’s narcissism so well; he’s cruel and mean and yet he knows how to convey his heart break. In Season 2, he has so little to do and yet he commands the camera so well. 

Ron: I did not know Lestat was called the Brat Prince. What a hilarious name. I feel like Sam Reid had a really tough task. Tom Cruise has such a massive fan base and people still love his Lestat. Even Stuart Townsend got some fans for his performance. But Reid makes Lestat his own. It helps that he has insane chemistry with Jacob Anderson. Their Louis and Lestat are very believable as a couple. Reid does a good job of playing up the charm when Lestat wants something, and he’s downright terrifying when things aren’t going his way. But I like that he can still bring pathos to Lestat. He’s not just over the top—Lestat is trying to live his best life when he no longer understands what living is meant to be. What’s life to an immortal? And somehow Reid manages to make that a relevant existential question for us mortals. 

Ron: Both Bass and Hayles were excellent as Claudia but Hayles got to be a lot of different versions of Claudia. Hayles brings a great deal of rage and frustration to Claudia because she is so much older by season 2, yet she’s still being treated like a child. And that awful show she has to put on for the theatre. I love how committed the actors are to these characters and this story because, after all, vampires aren’t real, and immortality isn’t a problem for us, but they demonstrate the pathos of their characters’ situations to make it seem like reality. 

Mon: Bass and Hayles are stars in the making. I hope they get fantastic opportunities. You don’t bring that level of energy and complexity and only get a season to flaunt it. 

Queerness

Ron: This show is so unapologetically queer. Straight people? Never heard of them! Well, not really, but the central romantic triangle is these three men from three very different parts of the world. The scene in the finale when Louis declares to Lestat that he’s going to spend his life with Armand, that’s the epitome of queerness in this show. But it really sucks that Louis thinks he can only be with these two awful men. He keeps seesawing between them and they both suck!

Mon: The books are very gay, but sometimes too vague about it, which annoys me. The show is clearer and gayer, which I really like. I was worried about that going in because Anne Rice had a whole homophobe stage of her life–don’t ask me—but she walked it back, I guess, seeing as she and her son had a hand in getting this series off the ground, and the show is not shy about being queer. 

Mon: The Season 2 finale comes down to one thing–this is a love story. It’s about a man, Louis, desperate for love. He’s known it with Lestat and Armand, and they’re both devils, but they’re safe and known devils. It’s cute in the most dramatically violent way. You can’t blame Louis for his poor choices in men—he had to hide his sexuality for a long time and he struggles with being a vampire, at least in the past, so vampires who love him back, even if they’re toxic, is perhaps comforting to him. 

Ron: And then Claudia gets a romance with Madeleine which isn’t in the books, is it? 

Mon: Is it a romance here? Or is it a companionship? Claudia’s an old soul in a child’s body, so can Madeleine love her romantically? I like that they leave it vague. 

Ron: In the book, Madeleine and Claudia had a mother-daughter relationship but that doesn’t work in the show’s story. Claudia wants to be an equal so she wouldn’t have wanted a mother. But it’s so tricky with Claudia being 14 forever—how do they give her a partner who isn’t immediately suspect for wanting to be with a 14 year old. I like how they built up the friendship between Claudia and Madeleine, laid the groundwork for Madeleine understanding what Claudia is, and they only get together after Madeleine is turned into a vampire. It worked for me. Of course, now they’re both dead so… I guess we don’t have to think about it anymore. 

Hopes for season 3

Ron: The show has now been renewed for a third season and it’s set to be following Lestat’s music career. The finale of season 2 sets that up very subtly! I would love to spend more time in that world but I’m worried about where Louis might fit in.

Mon: Lestat starting his rockstar career is going to be wild. But who he’s starting it with is even wilder, because the characters mentioned in the Season 3 summary weren’t in the band in the books.

Mon: The show is now so different from the books, that I can’t predict what a Season 3 will look like. I mean, they mention space in the Season 3 summary. Space! Dude, it’s too soon for this space stuff.

Ron: So I’m trying to avoid all this information about season 3 but space huh?

Mon: Yep, space. Let’s leave it at that.

The fact that Lestat has Akasha’s blood in the past is a huge change in the timeline. Akasha and Enkil are the original vampires, from whom all vampires are born. That’s been retconned, somewhat in recent books, but let’s not get into that. Lestat having Akasha’s blood is the reason he’s virtually unkillable. It explains why he survived Season 1, but this throwaway line in the finale makes it tricky for them to adapt the storylines from Queen of the Damned onwards.

Anyway, back to Louis. Louis’ fate is with Armand or Lestat. In the books, Louis is with Armand. Them breaking up in Season 2 is a big deviation. Who’s he going to end up with finally, especially since Lestat has other lovers from the books who could be introduced. 

Ron: I’d also love to see more of Daniel Molloy. He’s a vampire now. Who turned him? Is it Armand? How does he feel about being an older vampire? I want to see the world through vampire-Daniel’s eyes. And I would really like to explore his relationship with Louis. They’re clearly fond of each other. 

Mon: In the books, Armand turned Daniel. And Louis seems to suggest the same in the finale, but who knows. They’re always surprising us. 

Mon: I’m intrigued by the introduction of the Talamasca in Season 2, and I understand there’s a show coming as well. The Talamasca are a secret society, kinda like the X-Files but for occult creatures. How interesting will that be? I’m not sure. I watched the first season of the other AMC show, Mayfair Witches. That’s also adapted from a series in the same Immortal Universe, and Lestat popped up in the books a couple of times. I could not get into that show at all. Not enough gay people. Hehehehehehe.

Ron: The queerness of Interview is such a highlight for me. It’s hard to watch straight shows now. Haha. 

Mon: But, honestly, I think we’re invested in Interview because Lestat and Louis have been a part of our lives for a really long time, and the creators have made a show that’s not just about them being vampires. It’s about people, and the messiness that comes with it. I didn’t find that in Mayfair. So, what’s the Talamasca show going to have? Lestat’s long-time partner, David Talbot is/was part of the Talamasca. He’s not joined Interview yet, so that’s a possible connection to interest us.

Speaking of David, I don’t know if they’ll be able to introduce him, or if Daniel will take over that role. I say that because Daniel has met Raglan James–the Talamasca dude in the sushi bar in Season 2, and David enters the books when Lestat encounters Raglan. I’ll admit, I’m gutted that Raglan seems to be an old white guy on the show. He’s a body snatcher in the books, and when Lestat meets him, he’s in the body of an Anglo-Indian man. I think, in a way, the creators tried to appease us by making Armand Indian instead. 

All to say, I haven’t a clue what to expect next. There are so many books to be adapted, but Louis’ not in them much, if at all. If they pivot to Lestat being the main character, I worry that they’ll lose the viewers, many of whom have tuned in specifically because Louis is Black and has a certain lived experience. But I want more seasons, and I have hope that the creators will make the right choices in telling the stories needed.

Ron: I want to add that this show has such a fan following. Two podcasts I’ve been listening to did entire series on this show because they became so obsessed with it. I’ve had random people I follow on Twitter regularly calling on more people to watch the show because it is literal perfection. I can’t think of anything I would change. I’m desperate to get my hands on some of the scripts because it’s going to help me become a better a writer. And some of the direction for this second season especially, that scene when the Theatres abduct Louis, Claudia and Madeleine and the background actors are frozen, or rather acting frozen, they really knew how to ratchet up the suspense. 

Mon: This show is literally art–there are screengrabs from this show that are homages to artworks. We need more of that. And we need more shows that effortlessly include queer stories and feature characters from different races and ethnicities. This show has done that for two seasons. It could do so much more if the seasons continue.

Season 1 was about racial dynamics and interpersonal relationships in a world that doesn’t accept queer people. Season 2 was about autonomy, especially bodily autonomy, and monstrosity—what it really means when applied to people, be they vampire or human. The show can examine anything and everything and wrap it around a glorious romance. I’d love to see that. 

[akayna]

9,10, 16,19, 28, 32, 34, 39, 44, 56, 61, 66, 70, 79, 81, 90

Might have gone a wee bit over board

Oh, just a wee bit? You think? 😜 💚

9. What CD did you play to death as a kid?

I had on constant rotation three albums in the 6th grade (when I was finally allowed to control music myself on the stereo):

- It's a Small World and Other Disney Songs

- Warning by Green Day

- Sublime (self titled album)

10. Hike to a mountain top to watch the sunrise or drive out of town to stargaze?

¿Por qué no los dos? Maybe not on the same day, but make it weekend-long affair

16. What’s your favorite feature of yours?

My understanding. And also my eyes.

19. Power of invisibility or flight?

Invisibility. Get out of social situations free card?? Yeah, I'll take that please. Also good for gathering chisme.

28. What’s your favorite holiday tradition?

Shitty action movies on Christmas Day.

32. What song is stuck in your head?

Right this moment that would be 'Take a Chance on Me' by ABBA

34. Do you scare easily?

I have become quite jumpy. I didn't used to be.

39. What non-sexual touch affects you the most?

Squeeze hugs. Semi related note: I can't handle repetitive light touch on me but I like to do it to others. I'll stroke hair, backs, do the thumb thing, etc. Just don't do it back, it hurts my skin.

44. Do you have a favorite quote?

A silly one I made up long ago:

"I am me. Me am I. Am I me? We shall see."

56. Favorite dessert?

Yes, I love dessert. No, I can't pick favorites.

61. What’s your guilty pleasure movie?

I try not to feel guilty about watching things anymore. I'm also not a huge re-watcher, though I am doing so more often than before. So don't really have an answer here.

66. Would you make the first move to ask someone out?

Yeah. But like the threshold is high because anxiety. But! I want to do better at it and stop being freaked out about it.

70. What’s something you haven’t done that you think most people have?

I haven't ever wanted to go to Disneyworld.

79. Do you like surprises?

Depends on the type and the origin! What did you have in mind?

81. What books influenced you most as a child?

Fantasy and sci-fi.

90. What has been your favorite book you’ve read in the last 5 years?

That's a tough question. Uhhh most of them?? Haha. I have been branching out in genre in the last few years, so that's been nice.

[esnyshire]

amateur PT. 2

summary: In part two of amateur, Love visits Harry at the pool again. This time she gets a front row seat to some self-gratification.

warning: some humiliation, masturbation, public sexual conduct, and voyeurism, this was lightly edited

wc: 2.8k

♫ Bam Bam by Sister Nancy

There was no chance in making it to the pool early today, my dance coach called for an emergency team meeting. Something about a co-captain breaking her leg. Which called for a whole new formation for our choreography. I try not disappoint anyone in my life, and although dance is my life I still felt guilty for leaving Harry hanging. In order to make everyone happy I decided to invite a couple of dance friends to the pool, and by a couple I mean the whole dance class.

A big stereo follows behind me blasting music so loud I feel the floor tremble every step I take. The pool is usually filled with neighboring residents, so seeing a groups of strangers enter gets them staring.

"Ladies." I make my presence known. My friends crowd around me at the empty picnic table. Everyone settles in and i scope the area for the one person I've been thinking about since I left the pool the other day, my lifeguard. Except when I look, the chair is empty. He's not here.

It's silly of me to be so excited to see Harry, but this is the most fun I've had in a while and seeing him for a second day in a row doesn't sound too bad.

"Harry's on break, babygirl." The use of his name directs me to behind me. She's alone.

"What makes you think I'm looking for him, ma'am?"

"Ma'am? Oh baby cut the shit, I saw you leave with him out that locker yesterday." She points to the lockers and chuckles.

I look over and see a sign hung on the door that says 'on lunch'.

I swallow my pride and apologize "I'm sorry for lying, I just don't want anyone to know."

"I don't see why, but no worries darlin'." She chews her gum loudly, silently judging me. She even snickers at me as she reads her magazine. I thank her and make my way to the lockers.

When i open the door and focus on his back in the corner of the room, goosebumps erupt on my skin and my cheeks flare up from the heat. His beautiful skin is a shade darker from when I last saw him. I find myself dazed in his looks. What throws me off the most is his hand, gripping the wall above his head. Heavy, uncontrolled breathing catches my ear. His soft moans are music to my ears. His tricep is shaking violently and his head slowly falls back. My eyes scour his body and land on the band of his trunks that are pulled down slightly. Just enough to show the top of his ass crack.

My stomach flips at the thought of him choosing such a public area to do this in. He doesn't seem like the type to do something like this, where he can easily get caught. I can only hope that what happened yesterday between us, has given him enough courage to want to try new things.

I can teach him a lot. He wouldn't know what to do with all the information I could give to him. How to touch a woman the proper way, to listen and pick up on what they like or dislike. How rough he should be. Just how good it feels to be soft with someone, and sexy when needed. My imagination of the endless possibilities are interrupted, the softest of moans I've ever heard leaves his pretty lips. It's over before it starts and he sounds so salacious my palms begin to sweat.

My thighs squeeze together from arousal. I feel my breathing become shallow as I watch him touch himself, unaware that I'm in the locker room with him.

A moan sneaks it's way up my throat as I witness his hand violently stroke his dick, he buckles under the pleasure. He immediately tucks himself back into his pants and pushes himself off the wall. His face is red and the sweat from his hard work is evident on his forehead. Loose strands of hair stick to his skin, he may have concealed himself but his heavy breathing is a dead giveaway.

I've had my fair share of both men and woman, but Harry is simply the most beautiful man I've ever seen. My body screams for him to touch me.

He visibly relaxes when he sees it's just me. I'm no better than a man cause for the first time since entering I see Harry in his whole glory and choke on my spit when I see the bulge in his pants. He's so hard you can see it throbbing through his trunks. I don't think my legs can clench anymore harder than they already are.

Fuck, I love those swimming trunks.

"Don't stop now, I was just starting to enjoy the show,"

"I- I was just-" I smile at him as he stumbles over his words.

"Keep going," I encourage him.

His eyes widen at my request, not expecting me to ask him to touch himself again. "What?"

I lift my chin at him. "Go on."

He hesitates, but eventually he brings his hand to his chest, his palm covers majority of his moth tattoo. My mouth waters at the idea of him performing self-gratification. He begins his voyage to the spot I'm dying for him touch. His teases the elastic of his trunks, finding the courage to continue. I inhale sharply when he does, not realizing I was holding my breath in the first place. He lowers them and his cock springs out, hitting him on his stomach.

The head of his cock is a deep pink, the same color as his lips. He's swollen and crying out for help, oozing with pre-cum. My nails dig so hard into my palms, I might break skin. I grab my clothes, i need to ground myself. I'm open to try anything just so I don't pass the fuck out. He takes hold of himself and begins to stroke at a speed so slow, I feel my ears start to ring from the pressure in my head. His eyes are low and glossed over with a look of pure lust. I'm fully dressed but I feel completely naked. The way he's looking at me, I feel like I should be naked.

Then an idea pops into my mind. The only thing harder than standing while masturbating is speaking. So, I begin my interrogation.

"Why are you touching yourself at work?"

His eyebrows scrunch and his nose crinkles as the question leaves my lips. He doesn't answer so I continue my parade of questions.

"Did something rile you up? You just couldn't wait to take care of yourself after work?" I focus on his face as I ask my question, to see if he tells the truth or not.

He nods to my questions. I smirk. "You know that's not what I want." I quirk my eyebrows at him, putting my hands on my hips. "I want you to use your words for me."

I don't have it in me to just stand here and not do anything anymore. He keeps stroking himself as his eyelids flutter close, excitement and anger coil in my stomach as he ignores my question.

"Use your damn words." The venom in my voice grabs his attention.

"Yes, oh god yes I couldn't hold out any longer."

"Was it someone at the pool?" I don't want to think of someone else making him feel the way I do. I look away, embarrassed that if his answer is yes I'll be crushed.

"W- What? No," He stops touching himself to answer my question. "Are you jealous?"

My head whips back up to look at him. He has a smirk on his face, it's obvious I've piqued his interest with this conversation.

"If I was, so what," I state harshly. I don't like where this is going.

"That's so hot." He whispers under his breath, giving my body a once-over. I suddenly get a wave of shyness that washes over me and I begin to blush, heat creeping up on my face.

I ignore his statement. "What was it then?"

"You," His hand begins to pick back up speed, roughly stroking his dick. I was the reason why he's so worked up. I feel bold enough that I might strip right now and fuck him against the lockers.

"I can't stop thinking about you on your knees." His words have my legs clenching against each other. I bring my hands to my hair and comb through my curls, trying to calm myself down. I'm so excited i don't think I can form sentences. The room feels cloudy, I can't handle it anymore.

"I'm gonna change in here if that's okay with you." I take my bag from my shoulder and sift through it. He stops stroking and looks at my bag and back to my face.

"Nobody told you to stop," I set my bag down next to my feet. I place my bathing suit on top of my bag. He nods his head and picks back up where he left off. I slowly lift my shirt above my head and tossing it to the side.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Love." He moans. I've barely pulled my pants halfway down my ass when I stop in my tracks. The way my name rolls off his tongue sparks a fire in my stomach I haven't felt in a while.

A smile forms on my lips as I twist around and push my pants down so he can get a view of my bare behind. Wearing a thong was the best idea.

"What my name, pretty boy?" I say as my pants slide down my legs, landing around my ankles.

"Love, I'm close Love." It's like he knows I don't want him to come just yet. He's breathless and holding on just for me. I want to suck the soul out of this man.

"Don't cum until I'm done getting dressed," I unhook my bra with one hand and step out my pants. I'm standing across the locker room, in front of Harry in just a thong. The room is hot and our breathing is erratic. My legs are weak and I'm sure his are worse than mine, but that doesn't stop him from his frantic hand movements. If I open my legs i know I'll see a trail of my cum down the inside of my thighs from how worked up he's gotten me. I've only been watching him touch himself for less than ten minutes and I'm already a wet mess.

"You missed me, baby?" I tease.

"Yes." I turn back around to throw my bra in his direction.

"Yes, what?" My breath is shallow as I speak. He grunts in frustration.

"Love, please. I can't take it anymore." He moans each word.

I slip my thong down, not breaking eye contact with Harry as I glide my hands seductively down my legs. I take my time putting on each piece and tying each knot. I touch and tickle my way up and down my body as I watch him lose himself across the room. When the last piece of fabric leaves my fingers with a hard snap to my hip, his body curled into itself and he shivers in pleasure. I finally let the words I know he's ready to beg for leave my lips.

"Come for me Harry, you're such a good boy for waiting for me." My voice is soft and strained from the constant throbbing in between my legs. I could cry from how intense it feels.

His entire body trembles from his orgasm, giving him a full-body workout. His knees buckle and his jaw drops in pleasure.

"Look at me," I demand.

The cum from his orgasm falls to the floor inches away from his bare feet. It's when he connects his eyes with mine that he lets out a beautiful sound, a mix between a greedy moan and a cry for help. I give in to my need to kiss him and notice his eyes start to water. I rush to his corner of the room and crash my lips to his. It's hard and rushed, the familiar taste of sunscreen makes me smile into the kiss. I've missing the way his lips taste even as I kiss him at this moment. I never want it to end.

He wraps his arm around my body and lifts me, standing up straight. He squeezes me, cutting off airflow. I moan into his mouth as I feel his dick rub on my pussy through my bikini. He chuckles as he breaks the kiss.

My legs dangle, he still hasn't let me down. Our noses touch, and his warm breath is fanning over my lips as he speaks. "You have no idea how long I've been waiting for you."

"Sorry to keep you waiting, I was going to come earlier but I had an emergency," I'm just happy to know I wasn't the only one waiting to see the other.

"That's not what I meant, but better late than never." He sets me down on my feet, towering over my body. His stare is intense and inviting, I want to lock him in my room and never let him leave. He's just so delicious to look at.

I smile at his double meaning, "I brought some friends with me, didn't really want to sit with your fans today." I smirk at him.

"Please don't remind me, they've been asking me all day if I have a girlfriend." His cheeks flush a shade of pink I can only describe as the sweetest taffy pink.

"Yeah? And what did you say?" I lift my right hand to touch his nipple, rubbing and pinching lightly.

"Mm I said I like this curly-headed blonde girl," Me asking him how the conversation went is my jealousy getting in the way. My chest shakes with anger that they decided to talk to him only after I spoke to him. Before this they would just sit, watch Harry and gossip about people from the neighborhood. "I told them, her name was Amor." He rolls the r in my name with emphasis.

I get distracted when he says my name, now he's saying it in Spanish? Dear God save me. I love it.

"I want you to put my stuff in your locker, gives me a reason to see you after your shift." I don't give him the option to say no. I need to see him away from everyone and not in some locker room.

"Okay."

"Okay, what?" I smile at him, knowing he'll give me what I want.

"Okay, Love." I grab his face and give him a quick peck to the lips and hand him my bag

I grab his chin and sneak a quick kiss. "I'll see you outside."

I make my way back to the pool and hear one of my fav grove songs we dance to to warm up at practice is playing. From my peripheral vision, I see Harry take his seat. I'm swiftly grabbed by my dance partner, he moves my hips with his hands as my body rolls with his. Spinning and grinding I lose myself in the music, enjoying every movement. He twirls me around and brings me back into his body, controlling where my body goes. He's holding my body so close to his I can smell his cologne.

He loosens his grip and lifts me up, finishing the dance. We laugh and cheer talking amongst our crew. When my eyes meet my lifeguard the smile I had on quickly leaves when I take in an angry face. His jaw is clenched and his nostrils are flared. He does nothing to hide his distaste for what just happened. I wouldn't say I'm scared or feel guilty. If anything, it turns me on. He's always so shy and quiet, seeing him so angry makes me want to act out even more now.

I'll explain that it's nothing more than years of friendship and trust from being dance partners. I leave my friends and do the only thing I know that will get him to smile. I can't stop the smirk that is plastered on my face, déjà vu hitting me like a ton of bricks as I walk around the pool.

I finally see the white wood of the chair. I tap the ankle of the beautiful lifeguard I've enjoyed in more ways than one, his eyes are already on me when I look for his, and a giggle escapes my lips before I can even get the words to form in my mouth.

"Harry?" Hopefully he'll catch on.

"Yes?" Irritation is laced in his voice. I only smile harder.

"Would you like to swim with me? A race perhaps?" My eyebrows lift as I squeak out the last of my sentence.

His face changes, all anger subsiding. He examines my face before a toothless smile appears on his face. Then a full-on smirk graces his beautifully aged face. "Of course, Love."

[singbluesxlver]

i was bored af and i started thinking about which argentine artists each mw2 character would listen to

(this is just a silly excuse to recommend some very talented musicians from my country 😃👍)

Soap: (Sorry but i can easily imagine him listening to literally everything) Tan Biónica, Miranda, Airbag, Cerati, Rata Blanca, Intoxicados, Los Autenticos Decadentes, etc

Ghost: Babasónicos, Attaque 77, Wos (He also likes Miranda, they're his guilty pleasure and ofc he'll never admit it, in fact, he even makes fun of Soap for listening to them)

Price: Luis Alberto Spinetta, Charly Garcia [+ Sui Generis + Serú Giran], Fito Paez

Gaz: 1915, Conociendo Rusia, Bandalos Chinos, Ca7riel (Gaz and Price have this "music sharing sessions" that consist in Gaz joining Price in his office to listen to each others fav artists for a couple of hours)

Laswell: Virus, Andrés Calamaro

Alejandro: Soda Stereo, Los Redondos, La Renga

Rodolfo: Vicentico [+ Los Fabulosos Cadillacs], Los Abuelos de la Nada

Valeria: Lali, Marilina Bertoldi

[gerogerigaogaigar]

X-Ray Spex - Germfree Adolescents

When I saw this album on the list my heart grew three sizes and the rolling stone list bastards gained significant good will with me. This is possibly my favorite punk album of all time. It's got a sincerely rebellious attitude mixed with a heaping of camp. The day-glo aesthetics and prominent saxophone fly in the face of contemporary punk, but that little bit of deviance makes all the difference. The songs are so much more exciting for their quirks whether it's Poly Styrene's insane delivery on songs like I Can't Do Anything and Oh Bondage! Up Yours, or the 50s rock style sax lines on nearly every track. I permanently have the way she hits the R in rat on the line "Freddy tried to strangle me with my plastic popper beads, but I hit him back with my pet rat" living rent free in my head. It has to be heard to be believed.

The Cars - s/t

By all rights this shouldn't be a good album, let alone a great one. It's got this sterile synth new wave sound that is very 80s and for that it could be a little ahead of it's time. Now the hits on this album are huge, everyone probably knows Good Times Roll, My Best Friend's Girl, and Just What I Needed, but for my money I would suggest Moving In Stereo as the best track. It is more genuinely new wavey than the rest and has a synth line that I get stuck in my head every time. Usually I can actually pinpoint some quality of the music that I like, but for The Cars I think it might just be that they wrote magnificently catchy pop songs, and sometimes that's all you need.

Eminem - The Slim Shady LP

White people love to put Eminem at the top of best rappers of all time lists. This is bullshit obviously, but talk to the real hip hop heads though and they'll all agree he still belongs in the top 10. While his subject matter is controversial to say the least it is undeniable that his flow is one of the best and being produced by Dre means that this album just sounds fantastic. And speaking of Dre, the absolute peak of this album is the duet on Guilty Conscience where Shady plays the devil and Dre the angel on the shoulder of several characters. It plays out masterfully. If you can get into the kayfabe then Slim Shady's antics can be appreciated as the joke they're obviously meant to be and while some of the murder fantasy stuff is a little tasteless even for me there's just as much that comes through as intended. The biggest problem is that the joke wears thin halfway through and become just bleak for a few tracks, but it comes back around by the end.

Roxy Music - For Your Pleasure

The creative strife between Bryan Ferry and Brian Eno came to a head on Roxy Music's second album. The tension between art rock and sleazy glam may not have mapped to the tension between the two Briyans but the tension is there nonetheless. Glam rock was always a little surreal and this album takes that and runs with it on tracks like In Every Dream Home A Heartache which is about fucking a blow up sex doll, and For Your Pleasure which outros for four minutes with increasingly spacey drum and keyboards. A proper sendoff for Eno, and a great finale to the album.

[tiredassmage]

9. How would they react if a person they love (friends and family included) gave them a flower bouquet unexpectedly?

28. Do they have any guilty pleasures? How guilty do they feel about it?

(any muse)

Dangerous leaving me to my own devices like that, lol. wholesome oc asks list. For my sanity, let's limit this to my SWTOR blorbos, lol. Because I have many thoughts, many answers, many rapid-fire blorbo coming at you ksfnlsdfnls.

9 - How would they react if a person they love gave them a flower bouquet unexpectedly?

Flowers are probably most likely to experience success with my Consulars, Astserses or Barreth. Astserses because he's always been fond of flowers (though he has yet to have a unicorn eating his flowerbeds equivalent of his 'XIV incarnation, lol) and Barreth because she will generally delight in small acts of kindness. Barreth is likely to do an excited little spin about it while she holds them to her chest and Astserses will gladly display them in a place of honor where they may be commented upon and admired. They will be well taken care of.

Most of the lot would have some level of appreciation. Savosta might be a little hesitant doing the mental math lady meme trying to figure out what you mean by this unexpected gesture and where ever is he going to keep them on a starship, of all places. Kres will probably tuck one behind his ear and say something at least mildly flirtatious - possibly some comment about how they couldn't compared to you. Or some other generally silly comment about "do you think this matches?"

Len's probably the only one you might have to worry about, but Mako is pretty good about softening off his rougher edges, so, if nothing else, they may ultimately end up semi-regifted to Mako. She'll probably half-scold him for any gruff half-thanks you may have gotten. He could at least show a little pretend enthusiasm. It won't kill him, she swears.

28 - Do they have any guilty pleasures? How guilty do they feel about it?

... Tyr's incredibly fond of mouse droids and if you left him alone and unsupervised, I'd almost bet you that he'd be running one around the Phantom like an RC car. Am I projecting? Maybe! Don't you dare call him out though, he'd probably be a little a lot embarrassed. (Mouse droids for mvp.)

Kres would unironically enjoy TikTok and would be absolutely unapologetic about it. Whatever in-universe mild equivalent might be, you can safely bet that he spends a lot of his free time watching ridiculous animal videos. Him and Corso are constantly sharing holovids. Kres is often dangling off the couch upside down watching them. Vine's not dead to him.

Lensan is guilty of playing music very loudly through the ship, especially on long flights. He's rather used to flying alone, but whatever chagrin this generates in his crew is generally treated as an amusing bonus. No, he won't be changing it and no, you're not allowed to touch his volume controls. He'll take your fingers off from several hundred yards if you touch his stereo. Len, in general, is wildly unapologetic. And a fair amount of whatever apologies he does give on any matters are largely sarcastic. Much to Mako's disapproval.

And Alucren still watches (and enjoys) way too many spy flicks of all swatches of quality even once he joins Intelligence. He doesn't feel guilty about this in any meaningful measure, but he'd still fistfight Kaliyo if she ever tried to blackmail him about it. (And, honestly, it'd take much less for those two to get into a fistfight. They mix like oil and water, tbh.)

[failssafe]

So when I had my gallbladder removed they gave me a pretty good sedative before wheeling me in because I have bad health anxiety. The nurse told me she was putting it in my IV right as she was doing it, and the room *immediately* started spinning. I was like "oh shit that works fast lmao..." which got the whole surgical team chuckling.

I don't remember going down the hallway, but I do vaguely remember arriving in the operating room and seeing a stereo up on a shelf in the corner. Delighted that it was just like my guilty pleasure medical drama shows, I asked if they listened to music. The surgeon said yes and jokingly asked if I had any requests, and the last thing that came out of my mouth before I went under was "I like Karen Carpenter"

[thebattleofstarcourt]

｡ﾟ•♡୧ percolator

eddie munson x gn!reader

warnings: 16+ smokin weed, mentions / talking about sex (no actual sex)

a/n: i attempted to unlock every bit of stoner knowledge i had from my high school days, but the weed fucked with my memory so don’t mind the weird writing. i am not dumb my brain is just the fried egg from the DARE commercial!!!! also my parents (born:1972) claim that everyone called weed pot back then so im rolling with that. u call it dated i call it historical accuracy.

you knocked on your boyfriend’s front door, giddily bouncing from foot to foot. the plastic bag held in your opposite hand brushed against your thigh as you were waiting for him to answer the door.

seconds later, you were met with the face of your mulleted boyfriend. cheeks flushed and eyes a shade redder than the usual look of acute sleep deprivation. he was probably high.

“eddie!” you exclaimed, waltzing into his uncle’s trailer before he could greet you. “i got a surprise for you, but you’ve seemed to beat me to the punch.”

his brow quirked as he leaned in to give you a peck on your cheek. “surprise for me?” he repeated.

“yep.” you affirmed. “but you’re already high so…”

“you got pot?” he asked. “why? from who? you could’ve called me, baby, i have some saved for you.”

“i didn’t get pot, eds.” you said, pulling out the contraption from the plastic bag. “i got a bong!”

he took the glass structure from you and started examining it “oh shit.” he said, dragging his fingers along the neck. “it’s nice. how much was it?”

“nothin’ i couldn’t afford.” you said, grinning as he eyed the tacky paint job around the chamber. “pretty, right?”

he laughed. “it’s beautiful. thank you, babe.” he kissed your cheek again.

in reality, it was not ‘nice’ nor ‘beautiful’ like you both pretended it was. it was a cheap $20 bong from a shady gas station a couple miles out of town, one that didn’t card as long as you diminished your pride and flirted with the 35-year-old cashier for a few minutes.

nonetheless, he planted another chaste kiss on your lips and walked down the hallway to his bedroom, you following close behind.

“wanna try this baby out?” he asked, grabbing a small tin from his nightstand. you gave him an enthusiastic nod before he started packing the bowl and grabbing his lighter.

while he was preparing the bong, you went over and started sorting through his large stack of cassette tapes, eventually settling on an old album from the doors and putting it in the stereo. it was one of the few bands you could both compromise on at the beginning of your relationship, so it quickly became both of your guilty pleasures.

“you sure you wanna smoke again?” you asked, sitting down on his bed next to him.

“yeah, my high’s wearing off anyways.” he said. “i was trying out some new stuff rick got, but it was shit.” he ellaborated, moving his hands and clinking his rings on the glass. “made me feel like i was tripping. not in a good way, though.”

“you’re not giving me that shit, right?”

“no.” he said. “i’ll probably sell it to the basketball team and watch them freak out during their after parties.”

you let out a loud laugh. “you’re fucked up.”

he met your eyes and smirked while lighting up the bowl, taking a small hit before passing it back to you. 

-

sometime during next the hour you’d washed off your makeup and stripped yourself of your pants, leaving you in an old ISU t-shirt and your underwear, spread across your boyfriend’s bed. similarly, eddie was sporting a nothing but boxers and a KISS shirt that he had stolen from his old neighbor’s clothesline couple years back.

you were both also decently high. not high enough to garner you immobile, but high enough to lower your inhibitions significantly – but that just came out in shared fits of giggles.

“chrissy cunningham? like head-cheerleader-dating-captain-of-the-basketball-team chrissy cunningham?”

“yep.”

“i don’t believe you.” you said. “there is no way that that is possible.”

“‘m not lying.” he said through a laugh. “i was supposed to meet her after school but she bailed last minute.”

you rolled your eyes. “oh, how convenient, ‘she bailed last minute.’” you mocked, earning you a pillow to the face.

“i swear on my fuckin’ life.” he said, putting his hand over his heart.

“that’s just not real.” you said. “she’s like, a go-to-church-every-sunday girl. like the virgin mary level of holy.” 

“well, she’s dating jason carver.” he said. “so she’s probably not a virgin.”

“ew.” you pretend to gag. “i don’t wanna think about jason fucking carver getting laid. That’s like the grossest most undeserved thing ever.”

“maybe that’s why she needs drugs,” he said, making you both laugh boisterously.

“honestly, yeah.” you agreed. “he’s probably the type to make her give him head and then refuse to kiss her until she downs a bottle of mouthwash.”

he laughed in agreement. “he definitely comes after, like, three strokes.”

another fit of laughter erupted from the both of you again….

you flipped over on your side to face him as you started to speak. “eds, can i ask you a question?”

“‘f course, baby.” he said, turning his body to meet your gaze. “what’s up?” he began playing with the strands of your hair that fell in your face.

“do you wish that we fucked more?”

“huh?” he asked.

“like,” you said, flipping back over on your back, trying to avoid making eye contact. “are you mad that i don’t want to have sex that much.”

“no.” he said. “i’d never get mad over shit like that. where’s this comin’ from?”

“i don't know.” you said, honestly. “i just feel bad sometimes because we only fuck when i’m in the mood, but like, when you’re in the mood and i’m not we don’t and i just feel like a shitty girlfriend-”

“you’re not shitty, babe, c’mon.” he said. “you don’t have to take care of me every time i get a hard-on.” his hands moved around to cup your cheeks. “you’re fuckin’ awesome, baby. i’d be celibate for a million years if it meant i got to have you.”

maybe it was because you were high, but you couldn’t help but tear up at his sentiment. he quickly wiped the tears away from your eyelids.

“but,” you said. “when we make out, and then we don’t do anything afterward, don’t you get ‘blue balls’ or whatever.”

“baby,” he said. “i could get blue balls just from lookin’ at you for long enough.” he smiled, making you giggle softly as you melted into his hands. “you don’t have to worry about me ever, okay? i can take care of myself just fine. i got a dozen pictures of you to keep me company if i ever need you to help.”

you started blushing and buried your face in your hands, remembering the small stack of polaroids he has of you post-coital. “don’t tell me you actually jack off to those.”

“of course i do.” he said. “i love thinking about you, in every way.”

“gross.” you said, playfully hitting his chest. “but i love thinking about you too.”

“oh, i know.” he said. “every single time you call me up at 2 am because you can’t sleep and you need me to-”

“shut up!” you interrupted, shoving your hands over his mouth to stop his crude mockings of your late-night, admittedly, desperate phone calls.

he responded to your assault by kissing your palms, eventually getting you to release your grip on his mouth. he continued littering your hands and arms with soft kisses until you lay back down and sink into his mattress. 

“i love it when you wanna share yourself with me.” he said. “but i also love it when you don’t, ‘cause i love you.”

“i love you.” you said, pulling him over you and planting a sweet kiss on his lips. 

“wanna make out and watch mad max?” he asked, pulling away from you slightly.

“fuck yeah,” you said, grinning and you both jumped up and made your way into the living room.