#steady commissions. to being scared and tossed onto twitter where you cant even SAY THE WORD COMMISSION. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

m0thmonster · 2 years ago

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i used to look at and want a tumblr so bad when i was a kid and then i realized years later the reason i never was active once i made one was because this site is for people who have someone to be and i dont know who i am

#like you have people who do things and ur like #yeah thats that one. that does the thing #but i dont do things #and i realized putting me in a room and go “and do stuff in there!” is like a death sentence #i miss the community in deviantart and the togetherness of a bunch of people #like yeah deviantart was shit dont get me wrong i may get sexy women following me but its nowhere near the level of guy asking me at 14 if #i knew what a cuck was and then proceeding to get me to draw pregnancy furry kink art #idk u couldve posted anything on da and get people being interested (even if not super invested deep) and you go :3 #but now its just. algorithim this and tags that and you HAVE to curate and you HAVE to avoid these 10 buzzwords or you get put into #the dubious shadowrealm #idk i jsut. didnt have to try and be someone i could just exist and that would be enough #like i have been on da since 2013 and seeing it go so far down to the point its unusable ?? is still painful for me #i miss jsut. talkign to people because they gave me a llama and we exchange niceties and then my week is brighter #like there was a FLOW on deviantart. now its just post. wait an hour. theres its peak. its gone now #maybe it was also how fast my side of deviantart crashed- i went from almost 8k (only abt 1k of them being active) followers #steady commissions. to being scared and tossed onto twitter where you cant even SAY THE WORD COMMISSION.#maybe im just a sad inactive jaded adult now trying to live.#instead of being a happy chronically online kid who could draw emo dogs all day and socialize and have friends #i left 2 posts up on deviantart #like .. my bases. because i want to revive them at some point elsewhere #and they STILL get attention despite me not being active #having only two posts up #and said posts are 5 years old. i dont get tweets i posted a WEEK ago getting anything #i wasnt even an iconic base maker. that was the first one. and that was well after deviantarts base/adoptable peak.#m0thrambles #idk i think im just. being babyrage over it but its so hard not to be #so many young artists jobs and livelihoods were taken away and there is no alternative to deviantart.#there is no non-live feed based places that dont support ai (or like children)#there is no fun things like llamas.#now being relatable and “with the userbase” is just capitalism.

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