#stay in my mind longer than a careful study of it would

[faaun]

i've been busy today and i'm exhausted on my way to another thing i have to do my heart is beating fast because of it this is the state at which i feel at peace

[lordprettyflackotara]

Till Dawn || Eyeless Jack

Smut, 18+, minors dni. Tw: size kink, overall rough ass sex, unrealistic demon sex, stalking, a sprinkle of cnc, safe word IS in place, obsession, blood, blah blah. all the things. i had to lock tf in to finish this, it’s been sitting unfinished foreverrr. here you go my lovely’s <3

part two is here

part three is here

You were a fascinating creature.

EJ thought so, anyways.

Many years had passed since he had been human, his interest in mortals having previously faded. That engrossment only slipping away further after he had moved into Slenderman’s mansion.

Typically, besides killing for food, (and maybe fun), he never strayed from home.

When Jack wasn’t home, he was never staying. Always passing through.

That was, until he saw you.

Your scent was divine, the demon lurking inside the depths of EJ clinging onto the idea of a tasty snack.

Once Jack had found you, he began studying you from a far.

You weren’t hard to find, the annoyed curses leaving your lips giving away your location easily. You were awkwardly stumbling over your arms full of groceries, struggling to unlock the front door to your tiny home.

Typically EJ wouldn’t have noticed your behavior at all, his animalistic instincts shouting at him to break into the window upstairs. To slide in, waiting for you to get settled. To creep behind you and slit your throat. He could hear your heartbeat, the steady pulse sending adrenaline through his veins. His mouth was beginning to salivate under his mask, his interest now peaked as he observed your life.

You liked your coffee mostly black, with a single sugar cube. You were a night owl, giving Jack plenty to watch as he hid in the shadows of darkness. It occurred to EJ as he watched you join another round of an online game, your thick headset covering your ears, that he hadn’t really thought about what humans did in a long time.

Over the years he had sort of lost the man he once was, forcing himself to view mortals as meals, nothing more. After all, one sensitive vital organ and they’d be dead. Humans were so fragile. They aged so much quicker than he did. Why would he ever get attached?

The thought of a potential attachment hadn’t occurred to him, ever. EJ was content with passing through. He was content with his minimum social interacts with his fellow creeps back at the mansion.

But your scent.

Eyeless Jack grew more and more puzzled the longer he studied you. Why did you smell so fucking good? He had never cared for blood before, wounds not visible on your body anyways. Your pulse was normal, but he heard pulses around him all the time. Including two sets he lived with. Unless he was hunting, EJ had grown accustomed to tuning them out.

What was it about you?

It wasn’t until one night he was perched up in an oak tree, watching you prepare for bed. EJ had never considered himself to be a peeping tom. The female body held no interest to him other than the organs it contained. That was of course, until he saw you changing. You had tugged your shirt over your head, your bare breast bouncing as you pulled down your pants. Your panties were lacey, a material EJ hadn’t touched in ages. For the first time in years, Jack could feel his boner brushing against the fabric of his boxers.

You were so innocent, so unaware of his presence. EJ felt heat rush to his cheeks, awkwardly looking around to make sure no one else was looking at you like he was. You were so careless, leaving your curtains open like this. He was sure you figured since you were on the second story no one could see you. Jack liked that idea, him being the only one that could see you like this.

This made him only pay more attention. His attention now was not only on you, but the people you associated with. EJ liked that you mostly had friends and regular coworkers. He had no competition, no problem to deal with. His mind overworked itself trying to come up with realistic scenarios where he could meet you. Where he could feel the heat of your body, his cock buried in your cunt.

Despite Jacks obsession, he knew that the situation wasn’t ideal. His being over 6’5 and having dark gray skin the very least of his appearance issues.

The longer he watched your life, he noticed you were lonely. It didn’t matter how many friends you hung out with, he saw the look on your face deep in the night. The photos in your room of everyone you loved, every single photograph missing yourself. The filthy books you spent your time reading, the romance movies you watched. You needed a lover. Someone to tend to your needs, every dark desire.

He was over the moon when the opportunity presented itself.

Ben had given him a heads up, letting him know a ‘gnarly storm’ was heading the way EJ had recently been camping out at.

Standing in the rain wasn’t ideal for EJ. He didn’t particularly like being wet, the rain beginning to pour down. The thunder clapping and lightning striking was comforting for him, the wetness of the situation, not so much.

It was a usual night for you, your teddy bear wrapped desperately in your arms as you attempted to fall asleep. EJ watched you turn over restlessly, the storm clearly delaying your regular sleeping cycle. His gaze wondered over to the bright pink vibrator charging on your nightstand, his eyebrows raising.

When did he miss that?

It had to have been when he went to hunt earlier. Living off of deer was borderline revolting, his craving for human organs much more prominent. However he knew if he wanted to stay, eating one too many human organs created too much attention. A good chase from the cops taught him that lesson. Took him lots of stitches to heal, ones he had to do himself.

It occurred to Jack in that moment that if he was going to go through on his idea now was the time. He slowly walked down the thick branch of the oak tree, careful not to slip as he approached your window. He crouched down, raising his hand. He tapped on your window with his index finger, the unfamiliar feeling of fear filling him. Would you call the cops? What would you do? He watched you stir in your bed, as if you were internally debating if the noise was real.

EJ waited patiently for the thunder to subside, before tapping again. This time you sat up, your eyes landing on the window. EJ nervously realized this was the first time you were looking at him. He raised his large gray hand, waving at you. Your eyebrows furrowed, throwing the sheets off of you as you approached your window. EJ knew your window was broken, unable to be locked. He noted you pretending to unlock it, before shoving it upwards.

“Can I um, help you?” You asked. The rain droplets were splashing into your dry room due to the wind. EJ didn’t like that. He cleared his throat, trying to sound as non threatening as possible. He knew humans to be sensitive and after all of these years of not thinking twice about his voice, he was thinking about it now. “May I come in? It’s a bit wet out here,” EJ said as calmly as he possibly could. He watched you study him, your eyes fixated on his gray hands.

“I’m n-not so sure that’s a good idea. My brother’s home and I don’t think-” You stuttered, the lies spilling from your lips. Jack didn’t like this. You weren’t a liar. Without touching you, he slid into your room nimbly without a second thought. His drenched clothes were dripping water on the floor, his sights scanning the room up close for the first time.

“Hey! You can’t just barge in here!” You yelled. You stormed over to your nightstand, grabbing a baseball bat with ‘Vikings Middle School’ engraved on it. You rose the bat over your shoulder, swinging it with full intent to hit your intruder. Your eyes widened in fear as EJ caught the bat in mind air, his slender gray fingers wrapped around the metal. He tiled his head to the side, observing you.

First lies and now an attempt at assault. This is not off to a great start.

Jack immediately caught a whiff of your scent, the newly founded fear reeking off of you. And it was divine. EJ pushed the bat aside, taking a step closer to you. “Dont lie to me. I’m not here to hurt you. I’m here to offer you what you truly want in exchange for shelter from the storm,” EJ said. You were adorable, practically shaking in fear as he towered over you.

“I don’t want money if that’s what you’re offering. I’m not interested-” You began protesting. Jack noted your heart racing, his ears twitching at the delightful sound. He made you nervous. EJ’s dark chuckle cut off your sentence, causing you to stop talking. “Thats not what you truly want,” Jack purred. With another few steps towards you, he had backed you into a wall. With his arms on each side of your head, he slowly rose his knee. With an unseen smirk, he placed his knee between your legs.

A skimpy nightgown rode up your thighs, your face turning a light pink. “You’re lonely, I can fix that. I’ll only stay until dawn,” EJ said. Consciously he made an effort to be gentle as he rose his hand to touch your face. You were softer than he could’ve imagined, the softest silks having nothing on your skin. “I’m n-not-” You stuttered. Your heart was racing faster. It was music to EJ’s ears. “The vibrator sitting on your nightstand says otherwise,” Jack replied cockily.

His new found confidence was evident, your attention fully on him. Finally on him. EJ leaned forward, tilting up his royal blue mask as he leaned towards your ear. His voice was deep and soft, his breath hot as you trembled beneath him. “I promise i’ll make you feel really good,” EJ purred. His words were utter filth, your face flushing with heat. You could feel your core throbbing, your lust for a stranger so dirty but so thrilling.

“What’s your name?” You whispered. EJ was surprised by your question, causing him to lean back and slide his mask back into place. “I’m Jack, but you can call me EJ,” He replied. You toyed with the idea of asking him what EJ stood for, but decided against it. You stood up a little straighter, attempting to take more control of the situation. “Well EJ, if you’re going to fuck me, you better fuck me like you mean it. I want you gone at dawn. Understood?” You asked boldly.

A devious smile was curling up EJ’s lips, his mask blocking the view of his razor like teeth. “I knew you’d give into me, I can smell your arousal,” EJ replied. His gaze traveled down your body, soaking in your cleave that was revealed and your plush upper thighs. As if you could sense his devious thoughts, you pushed at his chest. “Hey i’m not kidding. Be gone at dawn or i’m calling the cops,” You threatened. Jack chuckled, before grabbing both of your thighs.

He picked you up with ease, your legs automatically wrapping around his waist. “Gone by dawn. I got it. If you want me to stop say red. Say anything else and I won’t, got it?” EJ asked. He carried you over to your bed, plopping you onto your soft mattress. You audibly whimpered an agreement, staring up at the man in front of you.

“Oh and one other thing,” EJ began, shoving his hoodie over his head. You marveled as his bare chest, his dark gray skin defining his muscles. “Dont freak out,” Jack finished. You stared at him blankly, blinking before he slid off his mask. EJ wasn’t a fan of removing his mask for any reason, not even to his victims. The most he would do is show his razor blade teeth every once in a while. Matter of a fact, he couldn’t remember the last time he had removed his mask in front of anyone.

Jack had pondered about what to do about his appearance, the oozing black empty eye sockets something that couldnt be ignored. He figured revealing it immediately would get it out of the way, and based on the way you reacted, he’d know what to do. His obsession with you wasn’t just pure filth or attraction, you smelled absolutely delicious.

He would win in every scenario.

He would know how to make his choice based on your reaction. You were confused, watching as EJ leaned down over you. He pinned you to the bed, your body on fire with desperation. “Scared?” Jack purred, waiting to hear all of the insults he heard in his worst nightmares. You found yourself nervously chuckling, thunder rumbling outside. “Only of not cumming,” You replied in a cocky tone, causing EJ to smile. Surely the unsettling rows of animalistic teeth were going to set you off.

But they didn’t.

Your approval and calmness gave EJ confidence, his lips bringing themselves to yours. He was careful, restraining himself so he didn’t accidentally nip you with one of his teeth. He kept his tongues in his mouth, deciding that would be a surprise for later. He was rough and needy, his lips practically begging yours to respond faster. His hips pressed down lower on yours, his bulge visible and pressed against your clothed cunt.

You tasted like mint, the taste flooding his tastebuds with an intense craving. You bucked your hips upwards, whimpering in his mouth as he grinded against you. “Needy huh?” Jack taunted. He pulled down your night gown, exposing your bare breast to him. He leaned down, placing soft and gentle kisses onto your chest. “I know you aren’t talking,” You teased.

EJ growled into your skin as he lowered himself down your body, prying open your thighs. “Whys that?” He murmured, pressing his chapped lips against your plush inner thighs. You clamped your mouth shut, your hips involuntarily moving upwards towards his mouth. “Dont think I get any play huh? Thats funny, considering you’re practically begging me to touch you,” Jack snickered cruelly. He was relishing and thriving in your desperation, dragging your panties down with his razor sharp teeth.

They poked holes in your thin panties, the shredded clothing being dragged down your legs. EJ couldn’t take his eyes off of your bare cunt, your cheeks flushing a shade of red as the demon above you admired your dripping wet cunt. Jack had seen a cunt before, in his human life and accidentally in his demon one. But yours, yours was a sight for sore eyes.

With his index finger and middle finger Jack spread open your lips, admiring how wet you were for him. “I don’t have all night-” You began complaining, only for one of EJ’s tongues to lick a stripe up your cunt. Electricity shot through your body, causing you to let out a sinful moan. “You do have all night. I have you until dawn. And trust me, you’re going to remember this long after,” Jack said, returning his attention to your aching core.

To your surprise Jack had three tongues, each of them assaulting your cunt is different ways. Two had made their way inside of you, abusing your cunt by fucking you. The other was attacking your clit, stimulating you into a babbling mess. You grabbed his hair, his name spilling off of your lips involuntarily. It was all happening so fast, your body struggling to keep up with the pleasure. Jack couldn’t contain himself, unable to tease you any longer.

Your pussy tasted better than any fucking organ he had ever eaten. You yanked at the roots of his brunette hair, chanting you were going to cum. This didn’t encourage him to slow down, the killer in between your thighs only wanting to make you do it again.

“F-fuck Jack I-I can’t,” You whined, closing your thighs around his head. Jack smirked as he removed one of his tongues from your clit, allowing him to speak. “You know what to say if you actually want me to stop. I think you like this though. I think you like being treated like the whore you are,” Jack panted. You felt humiliated at his words, your walls squeezing around his tongues.

This made EJ chuckle, his gaze now settled on your bright red face. “You like that don’t you? Being a whore for me?” Jack asked mockingly, continuing to fuck you with his tongues. Truth was when Jack had caught you reading the dirtiest of books, he ensured to do his research. To imagine himself being the one to do the things to you like he read in the filth romance novels.

You tried to hold back your unholy moans, biting your lower lip as Jack stared up at you. His third tongue playfully licked across your clit again, causing your hips to jolt upwards. “I asked you a question,” Jack said sternly. His large hands pinned down your waist, prying your thighs open. “Y-yes I like being a whore,” You replied pathetically, feeling the knot in your stomach tighten. Jack brought his spare hand to your cunt, drawing quick circles around your throbbing clit.

Your legs began to tremble as an animalistic, low growl left EJs throat. “Whose whore are you? Tell me,” Jack ordered, your walls squeezing around his tongues. You could barely make sense of his words, the ecstasy he was providing you too heavenly. “I’m yours, i’m your whore Jack. Fuck, please make me cum,” You pleaded.

She taste good and can beg? Fuck me.

“Cum for me like the good little whore you are.”

Your legs shook violently and attempted to close as you came, Jacks merciless assault coming to an immediate halt. He watched you ride out your euphoria, slipping his tongues out of your cunt. Your pussy was red and puffy, suffering from the abuse of a demon. He wiped his chin with his hand, crawling up closer to you. Your heart was pounding so loudly it took everything in him for Jack not to tear it out of your chest.

“You’re going to feel so fucking good wrapped around my cock,” Jack growled, sloppily pushing down his pants. He leaned back, lightning flashing as he stroked his cock in front of you. “You sure you can handle me? You seem tense,” Jack asked teasingly. He knew was far bigger than you, your eyes widening at the mere sight of his shaft. “I can handle anything you throw at me,” You say, swallowing to create some moisture in your dry mouth. Your throat and mouth having gone dry from making so many sinful sounds.

Jack smirked as he slowly slid inside of you, his tip alone stretching you out. You whimpered, causing Jack to lean forward. He sank into you slowly, peppering soft kisses on your neck. Purposefully he targeted your more sensitive skin, testing the waters to see which areas made you loosen up more. You clawed at his back, your face scrunched up in pain. EJ studied your face carefully, slithering one of his hands down to your puffy clit. “T-too much,” You babbled, your words beginning to slur. Your hand slid down to grab Jacks wrist, the killer above you not changing his mind.

“Need you loosen up a bit more. You’re doing so good. You can do it for me, yeah?”

His words were like a remedy for your pain, his cock now fully buried inside of you. You pulled your hand away from his wrist, your fingertips brushing over the outline of his cock inside of your stomach. You forced yourself to open your eyes, the sloppy circles Jack was drawing around your clit helping you adjust. You swallowed hard, meeting the gaze of the lust filled demon above you. “You can move,” You whispered. Jacks ears twitched, almost as if he was making sure he heard you right.

“Play with your clit for me while I fuck you,” Jack ordered. You did as instructed, your small fingers trailing down to your abused clit. You drew slow circles as Jack propped himself up, slowly bucking his hips into yours. You let out a loud moan, his cock hitting your g spot. The demons gaze fell down to your womb, his eye sockets widening as he saw the shape of his cock slide in and out of you. “So fucking tight for me,” Jack snarled, picking up the pace.

His thrust were brutal and animalistic, unlike anything you had ever seen before. Or felt before. His pace was relentless, his body not seeming to tire. “Jack!” You cried out, wrapping your arms around his neck. He brought you into a sloppy kiss, struggling to be careful not to cut you with his teeth as he fucked you. “You feel so much better than I thought you’d feel. Fuck,” EJ groaned into your mouth, losing his control.

One of his teeth nicked your lower lip, a small tinkle of red crimson blood dripping down your bottom lip. Jack didn’t have time to think, his mouth on yours immediately. But this time, for a different reason. He sucked at your bottom lip as he pounded you, moaning at the taste of your blood. You felt disgusted how accepting your body was of this, your eyes fluttering shut as you allowed him to suck at your lower lip. Jacks orgasm was coming closer, even if he didn’t want it to.

His pace didn’t let up for a second, his body a slave to your pussy. He released your lip with a pop, growling as he felt his orgasm come closer and closer. “I’m going to fucking breed you. You’re gonna be all mine, all fucking mine,” Jack huffed, his control long gone. His gaze met yours, your face fucked out and your moans incoherent. “Cum with me. Cum all over me,” He panted, his orders now weak. Your small fingers were replaced with his own, his slender fingers resuming the assault on your clit.

“Fucking shit, EJ!” You cried out, gripping his arm as you felt your orgasm wash over you. Your walls were milking his cock, begging him for his cum. They were pleading with him to breed your pretty little cunt, to make you all his. Your orgasm was all it took, his hips stuttering as he came inside of you. His moans were no longer the human language, his sounds of pleasure reverting back to incoherent growls. EJ panted as he looked down at you, your bottom lip puffy.

Your neck was covered in light purple and brown bruises, his light pepper kisses not as light as he thought. You were fucked out, your body lying limply on the mattress below you. Slowly he slid his cock out of you, your cunt red and puffy from the abuse. EJ watched as a mixture of his and your cum dripped out of you, your breathing slow and heavy. “Y/n?” Jack whispered. He was terrified he had broken you, his gaze landing on the bruises in the shape of his fingers that had littered your soft thighs.

You murmured an audible response, causing Jack to sigh in relief. He looked over his shoulder, the sun coming over the horizon. The storm had subsided, a light spring shower coming down from the sky above instead. You sat up slowly, watching your tall demon lover dress himself. You were dizzy and tired, blinking slowly as he shoved his pants back on. “You don’t wanna stay?” You asked softly, yawning. EJ gave you a cheeky smile, before shoving his mask back on.

“We had a deal didn’t we? It’s dawn,” Jack said. He began to put his hoodie on, your eyes softening with disappointment. Jack could feel his stomach growling, the taste of your blood fueling his desire for a tasty meal. He wanted to stay, but he knew he would kill you if he lost control again. Without thinking he handed you his hoodie, before heading over to the window. You sat there dumbfounded, watching as he gave you a small wave goodbye.

“Don’t worry, i’ll be back,”

[papercorgiworld]

No smoke, only love in the air

Mattheo and Theo imagine

When the guys notice that you don’t like their smoking habit they quit, but dealing with the withdrawal has your boyfriend constantly needy for a kiss. 

A/N: I'm sorry for taking so long with this request. I still got few messages in my inbox. I will get to them I’m just short on inspiration, witch is new for me and kinda sad. I’m not super happy with this one but I wanted it finished and out here so I can have some inner peace. Anyways happy readings hopefully it’s not too bad and lots of love to all you darlings, may your week be filled with joy and good fictions. 💛

Mattheo 

You and your boyfriend join his friends at the astronomy tower. As soon Mattheo spots Theodore taking a drag from his cigarette he starts to crave one as well. Your boyfriend lets go of your hand. “Gimme.” Mattheo says reaching out his hand to his friend to ask for a kind donation of cigarettes, either because he was out of smokes or he had forgotten his pack somewhere. Theodore rolls his eyes and growls with his cigarette still between his lips. “Why are you so cheap, Riddle?” Theo complains while reaching in his pocket for his pack of cigarettes. Mattheo smiles wickedly at his friend’s annoyance as he still gets what he wants. 

Finally, with a cigarette between his fingers Mattheo’s eyes wander back to you. He gently tugs you towards him as he leans against the side of the railing. You let yourself fall against his chest and stay there in his arms for a few seconds as he argues with Theodore about him not being cheap. You roll your eyes in disgust when Mattheo starts mumbling with the cigarette between his lips.

You turn away when he lights his smoke. “Come back, princess.” Mattheo whines, he wants you back in his arms. “Nah I got to study, see you later.” You kiss him on the cheek. When you’re out of sight Draco lets out a howling laugh. “Future Miss Riddle doesn’t like it when you smoke.” Blaise snorts. “I don’t blame her, you better not smoke around her she deserves better than to inhale that filth”. Mattheo stares at his cigarette as if he had just now figured out it wasn’t a healthy snack. Truth is, he never cared and it never mattered but now you were in his life, it did matter.

That evening he smoked his last cigarette and ordered Theodore to not give him any smokes from now on. 

However dedicated Mattheo was to his plan to quit, it didn’t make it any easier. His body craved the nicotine and nothing calmed him… except for you. Your presence was some magical cure to relax his mind and body. Which resulted in Mattheo constantly searching for you and more specifically your lips. A kiss before class. A kiss after class. Maybe during class when the teacher wasn’t paying attention. A quick kiss in the hallway when he passed you. It seemed innocent and still quite normal, but the longer your boyfriend stayed away from the cigarettes the crazier he got about your kisses. Crawling in between crowds to get to you as quickly as possible for just a small peck. Sneaking into your classes to kiss you and of course getting detention for doing so. It could be the middle of dinner and he would just come sit between you and your friends to kiss you.

You sit in the great half for dinner with Hermoine and Luna on either side of you when Mattheo shamelessly puts his leg between you and Luna. “Excuse me.” He announces, urging Luna to scoot aside, which she does looking a little more confused than she normally does. “Matt?” You ask, surprised by his sudden appearance. He slings his arm around you without a word, before pulling you in for a tender kiss. Your friends blink a few times and Mattheo pulls away, leaving your eyes twinkly from the loving kiss. “Okay, I’ll leave you to it. Granger. Odd girl from Ravenclaw.” Mattheo nods to your friends and gets up leaving you very confused as your boyfriend has again stolen a kiss from you at a most random moment. “How am I the odd one?” Luna asks, turning to her food after watching Mattheo leave. “I think it’s cute.” Hermione says, not sounding convincing at all.

***

“Something’s off and you have to tell me what… because it’s getting out of hand.” You demand an explanation after Mattheo had just tackled you in the hallway to pull you into him and kiss you like his life depended on it. “What?” He laughed, “I'm allowed to kiss you, I’m your boyfriend.” Ron snorts, unable to keep his opinion to himself making Mattheo glare at him. You grab Mattheo’s face forcing him to look at you. “Matt, I love that you kiss me any time and all the time, but you’re kinda overdoing it.” You whisper those last words hesitantly, but Mattheo hears and is slightly offended. His tongue moves over his bottom lips as he seems to drown in serious thoughts. “Matt, I love you, talk to me.” You urge him to let you in. He sighs and gives in, pulling you into a more quiet hallway.

“I quit smoking.” He breathes out, immediately glad to have confessed it, and you let out a soft laugh. “That’s great… but what does that have to do with you going on a kissing-spree?” Mattheo moves a nervous hand through his hair and chuckles. “I get nervous without my smokes and my body craves the nicotine and you calm me.” His voice turns into a whisper as he confesses how important you are to him. You quirk an eyebrow at him. “Mattheo Riddle, are you using me as a drug?” You quip, crossing your arms, but unable to hide your obvious amusement. “No! You’re more like my favourite healthy snack.” Mattheo leans in for his millionth kiss and you're happy to snake an arm around him and deepen it. As silly as it was, it wasn't the worst to be constantly kissed by your boyfriend. 

Theodore

Your boyfriend sees you happily skip towards him and he immediately drops his cigarette, quickly crushing it with his foot to keep it from burning further. “Hi.” You smile with a happy face. You lean towards him for a kiss and Theodore eagerly wraps his arms around your figure. “Hi.” He whispers suggestively, while drowning in your eyes, but just as your lips are about to touch you pull away a little. “Ugh, you smell like cigarettes.” Draco and Mattheo snicker in the background and Theo is about to snap at them when Luna calls you. “Hi, (y/n)! Are you joining us in Hogsmeade?” You nod her way and place your hand on Theo’s chest. “See you later.”

“No kiss?” Theodore whines as you leave and you just crunch your nose making it clear to him that it was the cigarette smell and taste that came in between the kiss. As soon as you’re out of sight, Theodore curses. “I’m gonna have to quit, aren’t I?” Enzo nods and Theodore growls, before reaching for his pack and throwing it at Mattheo. “Early Christmas gift?” Mattheo grins and Theodore rolls his eyes. “Just, don’t give it back no matter how I beg.” Mattheo’s grin grows and turns wicked. “This is going to be fun.

***

“One?” Theodore asks Mattheo who’s lounging in the slytherin common room. “One of these?” Mattheo shows the pack of smokes, shaking it before quickly putting it away, earning a loud groan of frustration from his friend and in turn making Mattheo snicker. Theo lets himself fall on the couch opposite of Mattheo. “I’m going insane.” He complains, but just then you walk in and take a seat on your boyfriend’s lap. You want to greet Theo but he doesn’t let you, instantly crashing his lips into yours. “Hello to you.” You giggle and he responds with another kiss. Maybe this not smoking can work out after all. When the kisses turn more heated, some of Theo’s friends start howling while Blaise just looks annoyed at how his quiet reading moment got disturbed. “For the love of hygiëne, go to your room, Theo.” Your boyfriend breaks the kiss to make eye contact and check up on your opinion of Blaise’s idea. Without saying a word you grab Theo’s tie, leading him to his room.

Ever since that day Theo knew he had cracked the code. Your kisses calm him, so when he feels an urge to smoke again after class he doesn’t go begging for a cigarette with Mattheo but turns to you. You are still packing your books when your boyfriend walks over, snatching one of your books. You laugh and hold your hand out for him to return it. “Only if you kiss me.” You chuckle but lean into him and with an intense passion he takes your breath away. You blink a few times when he finally pulls away. “Here’s your book. See you later.” Again he lips meet yours, this time for a short and sweet kiss, but it still leaves you watching your boyfriend in shock. Since when is he so needy?

***

“Look at that, look at that.” Mattheo mocks with a cigarette between his lips, making Enzo and Theo turn in the direction he’s looking. Theodore doesn’t say anything, but a low grunt escapes him as you and Potter come into view. “The man’s flirting with ya girl, Theo.” Mattheo pushes, making Theo instinctively reach for his pack of smokes in annoyance. “They’re just friends, have been since first year, they’re never going to be anything more.” Theo sighs when he remembers that he doesn’t smoke anymore. “There’s plenty of girls I’m friends with… that I’ve seen naked.” Enzo adds with a grinny smile. “You’re both shit friends, you know that.” Theo complains reaching for the cigarette hanging from Mattheo’s lips. “Na-ah.” Mattheo mumbles as he pushes Theo’s hands away. “You’re one of those good boyfriends that don’t smoke, remember.” Theodore rolls his eyes and lets his head fall a little as his eyes focus on you. Normally a smoke would calm him and help him deal with his annoying friends but now… the agitation crept through his whole body. “I need a kiss.” Theo blurred, making his friends eye him strangely. “I’ll not volunteer as tribute for that.” Mattheo jokes, earning an eye roll from an irritated Theo. After a second of watching you talk with Potter, Theo makes up his mind. “I need my fix.” Theo surrenders to his craving and walks over leaving a confused Mattheo and grinning Enzo. “Man’s addicted to his girl. That’s a new level of love.” 

“Nott.” Harry simply states. “Hi T-” Theodore ignores your friend and doesn’t even let you finish, but just hungerly crashes his lips onto yours. “Wha-? Theo! You can’t just kiss me.” Your boyfriend’s eyebrows knit together. “Of course I can and I just needed one small kiss… Or maybe just one more.” Before you can say anything his lips again passionately move against yours. “Now you can go about your day.” Theodore says and just grimly nods at Potter as he always does, before walking in the direction of the castle. You stand there perplexed and a little annoyed. “Slytherin boyfriends, right?” Harry sighs like he knows how frustrating it can be, making you furrow for a moment before shaking it off. “I need to get to the bottom of whatever he’s got going on.” Harry nods understandingly and you run after Theo.

“Were you jealous?” You ask as soon as you’re close enough to Theodore. He turns and immediately shakes his head. “I just really needed to kiss you.” He explains like it’s normal reasoning. “Theo, I sometimes really want to kiss you as well but I never do it so desperately and urgently as you’ve been kissing me the past few days. What’s gotten into you?” Theo sighs at your continuous pushing. “Fine.” He says reluctantly, giving in to you. “I quit smoking… but it’s not exactly been easy.” Your brain tries to see a link between smoking and kissing but it doesn’t make any sense to you and your eyes show your genuine confusion to Theo, who can’t help but smile a little. “Kissing you calms me and helps me stay away from cigarettes. If I could I would put you in my pocket so I could kiss you whenever I’m stressed out.” You chuckle at his adorable confession, but quickly focus on the most important part. “You quit smoking?” You close the space between him and you, and start playing with his tie. “Yeah. I did. I don’t want to miss a moment with you because I smell bad and you deserve the best version of me.” You have no words for him and just kiss him, wrapping your arms around his neck as he pulls you against him by your hips. 

Walking in on your little make out, Blaise rolls his eyes. “Again? Can’t you two behave? You’re shocking the first years.” Theodore parts from you and licks his lips. “Can’t do that to those poor first years, can we?” You play along and shake your head. “No, we definitely should take this somewhere private.” Your suggestion causes a happy grin to tug on your boyfriend’s lips. Not smoking is definitely working out for me.

[i2sunric]

𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔 (p.js)

pairing: doctor!jay x reader (f)

summary: you’ve always thought dating a doctor was hot until you started realising his job was taking your place— but don’t worry, being a doctor meant jay could always stitch your broken heart up!

warnings: fluff (like, 3am typa fluff), early 2000s au, childhood friends to lovers but they’re already lovers, angst (with comfort) cuddling and kissing, a little suggestive (no smut), they grow up together (narration starts from 18), mentions of stress and fainting, mentions of pregnancy, fighting, if more lmk. NOT PROOFREAD.

published: 29th April 2024

wc: 10.5k (longer than i intended ;-;)

tag list: @stolasisyourparent @jaeyunsbimbo @heelvsted @wtfhyuck @kim2005bomi @luvpjs7 @sundoie @sunghours @anittamaxwynnn @tinie03

It was the last summer of senior year at high school, the year that everyone would choose what path to undertake, the life they wanted to live, the job they wanted to get.

As scary as it sounded, you didn’t want to think about it yet, just to focus on living your last summer as a teenager before adulthood kicked in with all its difficulties and challenges.

You were laying on the bed at Jay’s holiday cottage at the lake, the temperature of the afternoon was too hot to let you stay outside, so you seeked some escape from the humidity in his bedroom. The grids were only slightly open to let some sun rays enter the room, just enough not to turn on the light.

You were reading a pook, wearing only a dump swimming suit and a pair of jeans shorts, you drenched the sheets but you knew it would be perfectly dry by the evening, so you didn’t really care.

Jay laid on the other side of the bed, your feet beside his head as he studied an anatomy book. You had a clue on how difficult it was to enter the medicine faculty, but seeing your boyfriend giving up his whole summer just to bury his nose in those headache-bringers books made you feel sympathy for all the doctors.

The book in your hand had become boring five minutes before so you just closed it, letting it rest on your chest. You nudged Jay’s arm with your foot “I’m bored.” You let out a small sigh

He looked up from his study material and gave you a soft smile before reaching out to pat your ankle. "I know you're bored, baby. But I'm only an hour away from finishing this.” Jay gave you a reassuring smile

“After I’m done we could go outside and sail the small boat?” A couple of minutes of silence passed and he was ready to you making a fuss about how boring and dull studying was until you said “Or maybe I can help you with your studies?”

"You sure that you wouldn't mind helping me with my studies?" He replied, raising his eyebrows. He let go of your ankle, but he quickly pulled you by your knees while you were curled up on his bed and laid you on top of his lap instead, so now you were using his body as a mattress.

“I’m not as smart as you,” You murmured, snuggling comfortably on his chest as he placed the book in front of both your faces. The amount of latin and difficult words made you close your eyes right away “I’ll just flip the pages when you need.”

Jay let out a low chuckle and pressed a featherlight kiss on your head. It was a small team game, he tried to involve you in his studies, making you ask him some questions to know if he had said it right.

You felt a warm sense of pride in your chest to know that your boyfriend was working so hard for the sake of his dream. You flipped to a page that had a big skeleton drawing on it, beside it there was a man with all the muscles without skin.

You scrunched your nose at the amount of names all the bones and muscled had “You memorised all those names?”

“Not as easily as others do," He confessed, letting out an audible sigh as he caressed your head. "I find it easier when I explain the answers to someone who's willing to listen."

You looked up to his face, your eyes shining with endless love “I’m always willing.”

Jay gave you a sheepish smile, hooking one arm under your knee to intertwine both your legs together. He squeezed your hip in response and you two resumed studying together.

After around fifteen minutes, you started to become bored again. All those letters made your eyes feel heavy, you blinked them a few times “Are you done yet?”

He chuckled softly as he shook his head from side to side. "I still have to memorise more chapters," He sighed, looking up at you with an apologetic grin.

Despite his efforts, it was clear that he was having troubles memorising the contents of the page, and even he knew he was going to be up for quite a while more.

You caressed his chest, feeling the heat radiating from his body even under the white sleeveless shirt he was wearing.

You toyed the necklace you had given him for his fifteenth birthday in your fingers, the same jewel he had sworn to never take off “What are you studying now?”

He raised his eyebrows and looked down at you, smiling as he watched you play with the necklace. "Right now I'm studying about different body systems and conditions, the respiratory system." he said, looking back down at you

You laid your ear on his chest and he fell silent, you tried to hear his breath and commented with a forced funny voice “Your lungs function well.”

“I guess they do.” Jay chuckled, rubbing your back as he continued to study.

The room fell silent once again but your head was full of thoughts.

You started thinking about your future, you pictured yourself in different situations or workplaces but none of them seemed good enough. Or maybe it was you not good enough.

"You know, it's admirable that you already know what you want to be in the future..." You murmured, snuggling closer to him.

The corners of his lips spread into a small smile as he heard your compliment. "Is it admirable for someone my age?" He asked softly, brushing your hair out of your face

“Uh uh,” You hummed, flipping another page for him “I don’t know what I want to be,” You confessed quietly “I don’t see myself anywhere.”

Jay raised his eyebrows as he stopped studying for a long moment to give you his whole attention.

He then looked down at you and lifted your chin to face him. "Are you really unsure about what you want to be in the future?" He asked, his eyes searching for yours.

Your eyes met his deep brown once, and you shook your head, feeling vulnerable. “No, I don’t.” You sighed softly “My mother… My mother wants me to go to some sort of job counsellor.”

Jay let go of your chin to caress your back again “That’s a great idea, actually.” He encouraged, smiling gently. “I mean, it’s better to ask for help now than choosing something you don’t want to do… ain’t it?”

You hummed, dropping your head on his chest “I guess so.” Your tone went quiet and he had been with you enough to know you didn’t want to discuss that topic anymore.

A few minutes passed by and your yawn caught Jay’s attention. He caressed your head, letting his hand run through your hair “You should get some sleep, Y/N.”

“And who’s gonna flip your pages?” You asked, your tone sleepy and your eyes clearly fighting to stay open

He chuckled, placing an incredibly soft feather-like kiss on your nose “I can flip them myself, you look like you’re going to pass out from your tiredness.”

“I guess I could.” You rested your head more comfortably on his chest and closed your eyes. “But when I wake up you better be done studying.”

Jay nodded “Alright baby.” He smiled, watching as you drifted off to sleep right there in his arms. At moments like that, he thought he was the luckiest man alive to have you— and he planned to never love you.

⪩⪨

College years had arrived and to no one’s surprise, you and Jay were still a couple. Seriously, you two loved each other too much to stay away from the other, even with your busy schedules.

You were laying on the lower bunk bed in his dorm. His roommates were out for dinner and left the whole house for you two. And obviously, what was Jay doing instead of spending time with you? Studying.

You acted like you didn’t really mind, flipping through the pages of a magazine. But seeing his back facing you, his hand moving as he was scribbling things on his notebook— you couldn’t help but feel sorrow.

“Are you going to study the whole night?” You asked quietly, not wanting to sound rude as you rolled on your wide to face him.

Jay raised his brows and finally turned around to look at you. His face was tired, pronounced dark circles under his eyes and he had probably skipped his self care routine for a few days. That didn’t make him less attractive, though.

“Pretty much,” He replied “I’m kind of behind on a lot of study materials.”

“Oh.” You nodded, shifting again to face the mattress of the other bed on top of Jay’s. He took in your bored expression and grimaced “You know you don’t have to stay here while I study, right?”

“But we don’t have time to spend together apart for some evenings,” You stated, looking back at him with a pout.

He chuckled softly, letting out a quiet sigh before closing his study materials and walking over to the bed. He climbed in beside you so he was under the covers with you. He then pulled you in and cuddled you tightly. "I know," He murmured, squeezing you a little tighter “I know baby.”

You rested your forehead on his shoulder. “I’m sorry, I don't want to disturb you.”

Jay laughed quietly as he kissed the top of your head. "You're not disturbing me in the slightest bit, so don't apologise,"

He said, running his hand through your hair gently. "I honestly don't mind having you beside me while I study." And you knew that, but sometimes you felt as if you were just an element of disturbance in his daily life.

It all started when you saw him fall into a deep slumber anytime he sneaked in your dorm, like he hadn’t closed eye for weeks; then how he’d always find a way to escape your dates to review a few materials and like now, when he’d study with only you in the room.

You knew he didn’t do it on purpose, he was just trying to survive college, and you felt guilty to have such resentment.

You looked up at him from his shoulder “I just… miss you nowadays.”

His eyes instantly softened "I miss you too.” He sighed “I know I’ve been studying a lot more lately, and I understand if you feel like I'm not spending enough time with you," He admitted.

“And I understand that you’re busy,” You acknowledged “You always work so hard for your degree.”

Jay smiled sadly and rubbed your arm up and down "I know I study like crazy, but it's because all of these things matter so much in the future.” He started explaining “It means that I'll be able to have a more secure job and..." he sighed again and paused before continuing “And i wouldn't have done this if I knew I couldn't spend time with you."

Your brows knitted “Don’t say that.” You raised your head so you could look into his eyes.

“You’ve been wanting to be a doctor since we were kids, Jay, And—“ Your voice cracked a little “I can’t guarantee we’ll be forever together, but you’ll always have a stable job with the degree you’re studying for.”

Jay nodded “I know that too…” He rubbed his temples, frustrated “I just wish I could spend more time with you.”

You smiled and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek “It’s okay, when exams season is over we’ll go on a small vacation, sounds good?”

He chuckled softly, wrapping his arms tightly around your body while pulling you closer towards him. "Sounds nice." he murmured, planting gentle kisses on your forehead “Although…”

You asked in a quiet voice "Although?" Jay looked away, “I still have a big exam coming up next month," He confessed, rubbing the back of his neck. "I don't know how well I’m going to do, honestly."

“Oh,” You gulped, blinking “And why do you think so?”

Jay gave you a half-smile "I Just feel like I'm not studying enough. The material i need to memorise.. It’s so much— I'm worried that I won't be able to remember most of it when the time comes."

You stayed silent for a few beats, trying to find any solution to help him “Maybe we should do a no-contract month?”

It took him a moment to process what you said "A no contact… month?" Jay repeated, looking away at the wall "Do you mean.. as in no contact with each other? For the entire month?"

You nodded slowly, not sounding sure of your own choice “So you don’t have any distraction and can concentrate on your classes?”

He raised his eyebrows, letting out a long and steady breath before speaking. "I understand it might help me with my studies, but.." Jay looked away from you again, unsure "Don't you think it's a bit too extreme?"

You fidgeted with the blanket, looking down “I know..”

“I mean... it seems pretty extreme." His fingertips then began to massage his temples. "You're right though, I do get pretty distracted when we're together, and my studies have been lacking because of that."

You tried to mask the pain you felt in your heart with a small smile “It’s just a month.”

Jay couldn't help but frown at the idea of not talking to you or seeing you for an entire month. "Yeah, but—" he started, but then suddenly realised. "Wait, does this no-contact month also mean that we can't meet either?"

“People usually do it after a break up, but we can do it just to focus on college. It’s like we’re off but we aren’t, we just don’t talk to each other for a month.” You exclaimed, nodding

He bit his bottom lip “We really can’t meet for a whole month? At all?”

“Baby, listen,” You caressed his cheek, propping yourself up on your elbows. “I don’t like this either, but it’s for the best?” You asked “I don’t want to get in your way.”

He sighed once again “You’ll never get in my way, never say that.” He then slowly nodded his head.

"I completely understand your point, but...it just feels way too bizarre.” His brows were furrowed. “I mean, we're used to talking every day, for us to stop talking for an entire month, it's just..." His words trailed off as he sighed and looked away.

You moved some hair away from his forehead “Just until your next exam.” You said “I’ll work my part time job, save some money and we’ll rent somewhere for a week, just us.”

Jay looked at you, worry painted all over his face “And you’re sure you’re completely okay with doing this?” You gulped down “No,” You whispered “But I’ll have to.”

He seemed to debate your suggestion, silence filling the room. After a couple of minutes, he caressed your cheek “Fine, I guess it's what's best for the both of us right now." He murmured.

“Just stay with me tonight,” You begged, “We’ll start tomorrow.”

His heart broke a little at your wobbling bottom lip “Let’s make the most of the night, my roommates will be back in early morning anyways.” Jay was still surprised you suggested that weird break, and he was even more stunned he had accepted.

You took his face in your hands, bringing him in for a kiss. “I love you.” You murmured on his lips.

Jay softly smiled against your mouth before he kissed you back, wrapping his arms tightly around your body as he started to pull you into him. His arms squeezed you more as he deepened the kiss a bit more, letting out a soft groan into your mouth. "I love you more.”

“No, I love you more.” You stated. He smirked and shifted position so he was now on top of you, resting his weight on his elbow not to crash you down “Bet?”

His hand cupped your cheek before slowly sliding down on your chest. You gasped since it was cold. “Jay… someone might hear us.”

“I don't care,” Jay shook his head, his tone breathless. His mouth claimed yours once again, full of unspoken but mutual feelings “Be mine for the night.”

“I’m always yours.” You said, letting him do anything he wanted, knowing you had made an oath to never leave his side.

⪩⪨

Finally, college had almost finished and it was the last day before university. Anyone would’ve been on cloud 9 but you felt a pang of sadness. It meant you and Jay had to part ways, the university he had chosen was in the big city, five hours away from your hometown.

You waited for him outside the graduation hall, seeing groups of overjoyed students throwing their hats in the air.

Jay came out of the room, rushing after having read your message. He wore his graduation gown and looked ever so perfect.

He saw you, a bright smile immediately appeared on his face as he started to walk to you.

He was incredibly nervous about leaving for college and it showed on his face as he approached you, but seeing you there made everything else seem a bit less threatening.

He finally reached you, wrapping his arms around your waist. "You came," he said softly, burying his face in the crook of your neck.

You hugged his chest and whispered “How could I not?” Jay squeezed you back as he grinned, "I'm glad that you did, but I was already sure you would.”

He gave you a quick kiss on the cheek “You never miss a single big milestone of mine.”

“I’m afraid you’re stuck with me, doc.” You teased him with the nickname, but your teary eyes gave away your true feelings.

“This year has gone by so fast.” He murmured, caressing the back of your neck "And of course I’m stuck with you. I wouldn't have it any other way." His smile was so gentle it made you fall for him over and over again.

But the grin on his face disappeared as quickly as it appeared, making you frown “What’s wrong?”

Jay shook his head, “I’m just worried about us now since we'll have to do long distance."

Your lips trembled but you still managed to let your words out “We’ll be okay, right?”

His heart sank as he noticed your trembling lips. He gently squeezed you and gave you a small, reassuring smile. "Of course we'll be okay. If anyone's going to make long distance work, it's the both of us.”

Jay caressed your cheek with his thumb “I believe in us, and I’m going to come back as often as I can so we have time together. It'll be okay."

“Right,” You forced out a smile “We’ll make it work.”

“I’ll be back for summer, we can always go to the lake cottage,” Jay reassured, knowing you’ve always loved your summer trips to his holiday house

“And whenever we have a holiday—" He muttered, a small frown appearing on his face when he realised that you wouldn't be able to see each other as often as they used to.

You couldn’t hold it anymore and a few tears fell down your cheeks, you sniffled “Of course.”

His eyes widened when he noticed you were crying "Hey... hey, hey, hey," He murmured softly, wiping away your tears with his thumb. "Don't cry right now, everything's going to be okay, mh?”

“I’m sorry,” You shook your head, smiling with sad eyes “I don’t know why I’m crying.”

Jay’s face contorted into a painful expression, his heart pounding heavily in his chest.

He had always hated seeing you crying, but knowing that he was the reason behind your tears made his stomach close. “You know that I'm going to miss you just as much as you'll miss me once we're long distance, right?" He asked.

You chuckled and nodded, sniffling once again “I’ll be here waiting for you, Jay.”

"I'll be back for you every chance I get," He promised, squeezing you a bit tightly.

"Remember to keep in touch constantly, alright? No matter how busy we are, let's always make time for each other over the phone." Jay took out his phone from the pocket. “I bought this new Nokia only for you.”

You smiled widely and showed him your phone, a Nokia of the same type just in a pinkish colour “I bought this for you too.”

Jay pulled your face close to his chest, caressing your head and hair in a gentle manner, just like he always did.

He never failed to make you fall for him with every small action, treating you as if you were worth it. And to him, you were worth every fight, every difficulty coming with relationships. He’d endure it all just to be with you.

“I’m sorry,” You took a deep breath, trying not to let your voice shake. “I didn’t even congratulate you.” You smiled widely, “I’m so proud of you, baby. I really am.”

Jay hadn’t realised how much he needed to hear that until he did.

“Thank you. Seriously, thank you, for always being by my side.” He placed a featherlight kiss on your forehead "You know, since it was your graduation today as well... Maybe I should give you a graduation present.” He trailed off “I actually have a surprise for you, if you would like it."

Your brows shot up in surprise “You do?” Jay nodded and motioned you to wait.

He battled a little with his gown before retrieving a tiny velvet box from the pocket “Here you go, baby.” Your eyes scanned it, “What is it?”

Jay bit his bottom lip to hide his smile “Open it.” He held it out for you to take. You gave him a small stare before opening the small box, revealing two couple rings.

Inside there was also a note that said ‘One day you'll get the wedding ones.’ Your breath hitched.

He smirked as he watched the expression on your face change, becoming incredibly surprised and even a bit teary-eyed as you opened the box.

His eyes softened as he glanced down at the rings “I know they're not the actual wedding bands and it'll take a while until we get to that point... but I wanted to give you these as a symbolic gesture of me promising that we'll be married someday."

You mumbled nonsense for a few seconds, happy tears rolling down your cheeks as you felt overwhelmed by his sudden actions “I love them, I love them so much— I love you.” You blurted out.

Jay held you against his chest as you both embraced each other. "I love you too," He whispered, burying his head into your hair. "I love you so much."

“Oh lord,” You stumbled a little back to look at the rings once again “How much did you pay— They look so precious.”

“Don’t mind that,” Jay wiped the remaining tear stains “You’re worth it, so very worth it.” He tucked your hair behind your ear “And you’re right, they’re precious. Like you.”

You rolled your eyes and hid your face in the crook of his neck “You’re so romantic.” Jay planted a small kiss on your head “You like it when I’m romantic.”

You stayed like that for a few more minutes, just melting into each other’s embrace.

You then sniffled and took one ring out of the small box “Doc, would you mind giving me your right hand?” He chuckled and held his hand out for you “Not at all.”

Jay smiled back as he let you place the ring on his finger, his heart instantly warming up when he realised how real this all really is.

He was finally going to be able to say that he was officially engaged, that he was soon going to be married to you. Jay looked down at the ring as you finished and his eyes started to tear up a bit.

"Thanks," his voice barely came out of his throat, but he was still able to softly smile.

You then gave him the small box and held out your hand for him. He gently squeezed your hand “Shall i?" He asked as he motioned towards your finger, wanting to put the other ring on it.

“Please, do.” You whispered, the anticipation killing you.

Jay carefully took out the ring and looked it over for a couple of seconds.

He then slipped the ring on your finger very slowly, making sure that it was fitted well “It fits perfectly.” He commented, kissing your knuckles, barely brushing his lips on them, like a true gentleman.

You sniffled again and let out a euphoric chuckle before wrapping your arms around his neck, pressing your lips on his, never wanting to get away from that boy.

The moment you kissed him, his arms tightened around you, not wanting to let go of you ever again.

He had never felt this way before until you came into his life, back in third grade. He had truly felt complete, that he had finally found the person he would spend the rest of his life with. “I want you always," he mumbled softly between the kisses.

“I want you forever,” You murmured back with the same sincerity. He kissed your lips once more, needing to fill his nostrils with your sweet scent, his mouth with the taste of you before he had to move away for five years.

⪩⪨

A couple of years passed and between ups and downs, you and Jay were still strong. Long distance was difficult, you couldn’t lie, but keeping yourself busy with your small café and meeting whenever you two had free time was enough for you. Besides, you could still call with your matching Nokias.

Which was your plan for that afternoon, you sat down on a table at your café and dialled his number, mindlessly playing with the ring on your finger as you waited for him to pick up, hoping it wouldn’t go to voice mails.

One the call reached Jay, he smiled as he recognized your number on screen, picking it up immediately. It had been some time since you both had called each other, so hearing your voice brought a smile to his face before he opened his mouth and greeted you. "Hi, babe.”

“Hey,” You whispered, relief evident in your tone “Am I calling in a bad moment?” You asked, hearing chatterings from the other line.

“No, no, not at all.” He sat down on a bench outside his university building “What are you doing? Just working?”

“Yeah,” You sighed “But business hasn’t been going well nowadays.”

His heart instantly sank as he heard about how business hadn't been well. He wanted to be your support system always, even when he wasn't there physically as much as before. “Oh no… I mean, you're doing your best with it, right?"

“I guess I am.” You replied "No, you are." He quickly corrected you “Do you want me to come over so that we can talk about it? We can work on solutions or at least brainstorm."

You were quick to dismiss “No, don’t do five hours of train just for a small complaint of mine.”

Jay tried to recall in mind his schedules, he had finished lectures for that day, which meant he could come to you and then take the late evening train back to the city “Baby… Don’t tell me not to come over if you need me there.”

"I’m serious, Jay, it's okay," You murmured quietly "I just needed to hear your voice, if you have free time you should use it to rest."

The way that you cared for him made his heart beat fast. "I'll gladly come over," He said softly. "I have time to spare. plus.. if I come over, I can actually hug you and comfort you better than over the phone, can’t I?"

“You already came over three weeks ago.” You stated “I know, but like I said, I’d rather spend time with you than not.”

You dismissed him once again “I’m fine Jay, you don’t have to.”

“Babe, don’t tell me you’re fine if you’re not.” Jay pleaded “I don’t think you are, let me come over.”

You stayed silent a few beats “What about uni?” He knew you’d ask “I finished classes for today, I can come over for a few hours and then come back before classes tomorrow.”

You sighed, your voice cracking a little “I could really use one of your hugs.”

“Okay,” Jay breathed out “I’ll be there, wait for me at your café.”

Hating that he couldn’t teleport right to you, he hurried to the train station and waited, knowing you were going through a rough path.

You hardly ever asked for help, and Jay was sure whatever was going on had been haunting you for a while for you to call him in such a state.

After a few hours, the door of your café opened, making the small bell ring. You turned around and started saying “Welcom—“ When you realised it was your boyfriend.

Jay entered the cafe, his eyes instantly searched for you and his face lit up when he found you. It wasn’t hard, you were the only one there.

You were running towards him and he felt his whole heart melting. His arms were wide open and he smiled warmly, taking you into a warm embrace.

Jay immediately pulled you close to his chest, burying his head in your hair and breathing you in.

It had been three weeks since he last was at your side and the scent you had filled his lungs as he finally was this close to you again took him aback by how familiar and comforting it was.

You sobbed quietly, letting out all the tears you’d been holding as you hid your face in the crook of his neck, smelling the familiar scent of lavender of his clothes softener.

Your whole body quivering almost uncontrollably, and he knew you were hiding so much sadness behind those tears. “Shhh... shhh.. It'll be okay," He hissed softly, his voice calm and soothing as he kept whispering those same words to you over and over again.

You pulled away slightly, your whole face contorted in a frown “They want— They want to shut it down.”

Your sentence lacked context but he realised that your cafe was probably going to be closed down soon.

He didn't want your business to close, especially when he knew that it was your pride and joy. He pulled you back into his chest again, “It'll be okay. We'll figure something out.”

“It won’t!” You snapped, your voice breaking “It never does…”

Jay’s heart hurt even more as you shouted, your voice sounding so defeated and sad.

He didn't like the harsh reality you were facing and the fact that you would be going through this— Jay was supposed to protect you from the world, but he had neglected you for too long.

“Oh God—“ You blinked faintly, realisation hitting you “I didn’t know why I shouted, I’m sorry.”

The corner of his lips turned upwards briefly. "Hey, don't apologise for showing emotions." He gently dried your tears "It’s just... so frustrating to hear how you're losing something that you care about, that you've put so much effort in and that you're so passionate about."

You let out a bitter chuckle “It always goes this way.” Jay wanted to scold you for always thinking so low of yourself and never fighting, but he was in no position for that.

“I don’t know what to do,” You shook your head to emphasise your words “If it shuts down how will I pay the rent? I won’t have any money.”

Jay could feel you panic and didn’t want that stress and worry to get to you. "We'll figure something out," He said as he gently cupped your face and lifted it up so that you were staring at him. "We'll figure something out. You're not going to be in this alone, I promise."

You shook your head once more, sobbing “I’ll have to move back with my parents— we’ll be even further away.”

The possibility of you moving into your parents' home still made him feel sick. He wanted to keep you close to him and wanted to share a home with you.

He wanted to move in with you, not have you move back to your parents' house.

"Y/N, it's not going to come to that," He muttered softly, kissing your forehead. You sighed and let yourself go, your weight pressing on him “I’m just so tired.”

“Let me take some of that weight off you, baby,” Jay whispered “I’m here.”

You stayed silent a few beats, letting the mere presence of Jay put back the shattered pieces of your soul. “You just had five hours of train and all I did was complain.” You dried your tears with your thumb.

You showed him a faint smile “Sit, I’ll make you a cup of coffee.” He nodded and walked to the nearest table, sitting down.

You made him a cup of coffee and sat down on the chair opposite to him, smiling “It's on the house.”

He grinned softly as he took the cup, the smell of the coffee filling him with delight.

It was such a simple thing and yet it meant so much to him, given you made it. "Oh, so even though you're in a rough patch, your hospitality has not gone," he teased playfully before taking a sip.

“Call it boyfriend pass.” You winked at him. You then cleared your throat and fidgeted with the ring “How’s uni?”

Jay took another sip “Just uni, lectures… assignments here and there, many exams.” He trailed off “Just very busy.”

Your brows knitted in guilt “I’m so sorry you had to come here.” Jay took your hand in his, your rings tingling as they touched “You needed me, You needed comfort." He chuckled lightly. "And there's nowhere else I should have been other than here."

You answered with a smile and took your chair, scooting close to him. You put your head on his shoulder “Want me to stroke your hair for a bit?” He asked and you nodded “Please.”

Jay started stroking your hair, sipping the coffee with the other “How do you feel right now? Better?”

You chuckled “Less like a wreck.” A few minutes of silence followed until Jay asked “Are you scared of losing the café?”

"I feel like all the efforts I made weren't enough." You closed your eyes "I should've settled for a more stable job."

"But that would've made you so unhappy, you know?" he spoke softly. "Baby, I feel your enthusiasm every time you talk about your café, don’t regret something that made you happy.”

“What about you?" You raised my head and rested your chin on his shoulder to look at his face "Do you ever get so tired of studying you want to quit?"

"Sometimes," Jay admitted. “There were plenty of all night studying sessions that kept me up and made me question how I got to this point in life." He laughed, nudging your side playfully.

"But I would've never thought of quitting. I know it's going to pay off in the end." You hummed “Of course, You always work so hard.”

"And so do you," He whispered softly, squeezing your hand gently. "Sometimes I don't understand how you work at your cafe for so long and still have energy left to do other things... and sometimes I'm just worried about you overworking."

“You don’t push yourself too much right?” He asked, his voice laced with worry. Your sudden silence made him wonder if you were not telling him something.

“I fainted once.” You confessed. His grip tightened around your hand as he looked down at you, “You fainted? When? Why didn't you tell me about it?"

“Before Christmas break.” You whispered “It was exam season, I didn't want to distract you.”

It was in moments like those that Jay felt like giving everything up. Because why on earth would you think you were being a burden, a distraction to him when you literally fainted?

"No, no... you should have told me, even if I was busy. I would've come to you then." You sat up properly “I didn’t want you to.”

He was speechless for a minute, his mind trying to process what had happened. "Why wouldn't you want me to know? How could you go through it on your own?”

"Jay, Jay," You said, taking his face in my hands. "I'm grand, alright? I'm doing fine."

"I don't like that you hid something so serious from me," Jay muttered softly, his eyes meeting yours. "It's too important to hide from me."

“I know,” You nodded, letting go of his face “And I’m sorry.” Jay nodded at your apology “How did it happen?”

You sighed “I couldn’t afford to keep other workers so I had to run the café alone, I ran around and around and then I had a few other things.” You gulped down, recalling the moment “I went to bed feeling a little dizzy, I paid it no mind but the next morning as I woke up I fell flat on the floor.”

Jay’s whole world shuttered. He looked down to the floor, his jaw tense as he took in your words “You should’ve never ignored those signs, Y/N.” He called you by your name only when he was serious, his low voice sounding a little scary

“How could you—“ Jay took a sigh, trying to calm down “It could’ve been worse, something could have happened while you slept, you could’ve hit your head..” He looked as if he was on the verge of tears.

“Jay..” You murmured “I’m okay now, I know the risks I took, I was incoherent.” You took his hand in yours “It won’t happen again.”

“I should just transfer back here.” He got up from the chair, pacing around the room “I can take the train everyday to the city, I can do that, yeah.”

“No.” You stopped him “Jay, no.”

“Yes,” He turned around, facing you. His breath was heavy “Y/N, you— you could’ve died.”

“I didn’t.” You tried to soothe but even you felt like your efforts were worthless. “That doesn’t change the fact that I almost lost you— and I wasn’t even aware!” Jay looked like a maniac, his hands in his hair and his eyes bloodshot from frustration.

There was a moment where you both just stared into each other’s eyes, no words exchanged. Your eyes were full of regrets for having kept that from him and his were filled with the same emotion for not having taken care of you the way he should’ve.

“Don’t give up now, not for me.” You shook your head, slowly walking closer to him until you touched his forearm with your fingers, letting him know you were there. Breathing.

“You’re worth it.” Jay breathed out the same words he’d been repeating you, looking down at you, studying out features. His glance was so soft it almost hurt “Not this.” You shook your head.

Jay pulled you into a hug, so tight and full of emotions “Just three more years and we’ll be together.” He murmured “Just a little bit longer and we'll be able to share an apartment together. Just you and me."

You smiled on his chest, hugging him back “And we’ll get married.”

His entire face lit up with glee whenever you mentioned the idea of marriage, his finger swirled around the ring on your finger. “And we'll get married," He whispered softly, his eyes still focused on yours. "We'll finally be married and our families will finally stop asking us about our wedding plans," He laughed, the previous tension already forgotten

“Don’t even get started.” You laughed as well

"Yeah, for me it's my mom constantly bothering me with 'so when is it going to happen?'" He paused for a moment and cocked his head to the side playfully. "And for you? Is it your dad that's constantly bringing up the topic?"

You smiled and nodded “He’s afraid he’s going to die before he can walk me on the aisle.”

“That’s just a better incentive to wife you up.” Jay held your arms in his hands, gently rubbing them. You looked up at him and couldn’t help but cup his face, bringing your lips to him once more.

Jay’s eyes lit up the moment you kissed him. He let out a soft murmur, his lips responding to your kiss softly.

“I missed you,” You murmured between kisses “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too,” Jay responded, his lips travelling to the back of your head, tilting it to deepen the kiss “Only three years and you’ll be mine forever.”

“I think I’ve always been yours.”

⪩⪨

Another year had passed and New Year’s Eve came. A bummer that Jay could not come back to you those holidays because he had found a job to maintain his studies and was simultaneously studying for an extra course. After the small fight you had at the café (that shut down not long after) you two grew closer, if it was even possible.

Despite the long distance, you felt so connected to him. You dialled his number, feeling as you waited for him to answer.

Your phone beeped a bit before hearing his familiar tone on the other end. "Hey babe," His voice was as bright as ever “Did you miss me?"

“Hi,” You breathed out, sniffling due to the cold temperatures “I don’t miss you at all.” You teased

Jay’s brows furrowed slightly as he heard you sniffle. "Hey, are you okay? Are you sick?" He asked instantly with concern, ignoring your playful joke and wanting to make sure you were alright.

"I'm outside!" You explained happily, looking around at all the people inside the main square "Fireworks are nicer if you see them from here."

He let out a sigh of relief when he heard that. “Good. you gave me a bit of a scare there, babe. Are you enjoying yourself?” As expected, the soon-to-be doctor always worried for nothing.

“No, there are so many couples here," You joked "My boyfriend is so evil he didn’t even come to me."

Jay chuckled softly "Oh yeah? Just wait until I'm there. I'll make all those couples in the whole square jealous." He groaned, "Ugh, I can't believe I'm missing being with my girlfriend when we should be spending the new year together."

"I understand," Yoh reassured, looking up at the huge clock ticking close to the new year, a feeling of both nostalgia and excitement washing through you. "What are you doing now? Don’t tell me you’re studying".

“Well... you guessed it," He admitted softly, “...Studying. I have a final exam for my extra course coming up soon."

“No, Jay.” You said sadly “Not now.” His brows furrowed at your sudden change of tone and he asked “What’s wrong?”

You sighed “Can you drop your pen and walk to the window?”

Jay was caught off guard by the unexpected request. Though he had no reason to resist you, he set his pen and his open study books aside and stood up. He walked to his window.

"Three more minutes before the new year," You murmured "Look at the fireworks with me, the sky is only one so it makes me feel closer to you."

His eyes immediately turned to the outside, looking at the fireworks and the sky that was lit up by so many bright colors. It was breathtaking, and his eyes took it all in as he stood in the window, watching the sky as the time slowly ticked towards the new year.

He could almost imagine you right next to him, both of you watching the beautiful display together. "Yes," He whispered, “I can almost feel you right next to me."

“One more minute!” You squealed happily, earning a chuckle from your boyfriend.

Everyone started laughing and screaming, clapping their hands as the clock struck midnight, the sky lit up with more fireworks “Happy New Year, baby.” You told Jay and he said back the same words.

“Just one year and half until our big plan.” You stated, looking down at your ring.

“Just one year and half…” He repeated, a small smile displayed on his face

“We’ll be alright… Won’t we?” You asked, your voice quiet, barely audible with all the external noise. But Jay still heard you, he always did.

The question you asked was so simple, but it carried a lot of weight to it. "Yeah. We'll be okay, babe." His soft voice assured you of that. "Of course we will. We have always managed to find ways to deal with distance... we'll be fine."

You looked around and saw couples kissing and holding hands, spending that special time together. Feeling a bit overwhelmed, you stepped away from the square and back on the way to your apartment "Can you stay on the phone a little longer? Until I get home..."

“Of course baby,” Jay reassured, playing with the necklace he always wore. “I’ll stay on the phone as long as you need me.”

You started walking, your nose red and cheeks hurting from the cold weather “It’s so cold nowadays.” You commented.

"Hey... you're okay, right? Are you sure you'll be alright making your way home alone? Are you wearing enough layers?” Jay asked softly, his tone of concern obvious.

You chuckled at his words “Don’t act like my mother.”

He laughed along with you. "Sorry... I just— worry too much about you sometimes. you know?”

You nodded though he could not see you. “I know, but I'm grand here.” You hummed “I’m an independent woman.”

“That may be true,” Jay stated, his whole face shining from the light of the fireworks “But your boyfriend here is worried about your health, especially in this cold weather.”

"I’m about to reach home and then i'll take a warm shower and go to sleep," You murmured, placing your free hand in your pocket "You don't study until late night, ok?"

"Well..." His voice was playful "No promises, a man's got to get good grades.” But your tone wasn’t “Please Jay… At least not today.”

“Okay, alright.” He knew you were just worried for him the same way he was for you “I’ll stop studying for tonight.”

“Promise?” You asked, “Promise.” He answered.

“Then, after you take a shower, can you stay on the phone for a while?” Jay’s voice was laced with vulnerability, the long distance taking a ton on him as well.

Your voice softened at his words “Of course baby,” You whispered “I’ll stay with you on the phone.”

“Hey, Y/N.” Jay murmured “Yes?” You said, fiddling with the keys.

“I love you.” You stopped moving for a moment, “I love you more.”

⪩⪨

Years passed by and vows were exchanged, Jay and you now happily lived together.

You still remembered that day when you got him at the train station, feeling all giddy to finally have the life you’ve always dreamt of with the only person you’ve ever loved.

You thought all your vicissitudes were over, that your many many years of patience had finally paid off— but no, because Jay’s traineeship was taking your place yet again.

Despite the fact that your apartment that once looked lifeless was now hosting a couple, it seemed as if it had lost its previous colours with your gloomy demeanour.

Jay spent all his day at the hospital, learning new things and trying to build a good relationship with his superiors.

And it’s not like you weren’t happy for him— No, you were overjoyed… but what about you?

Since you two became a couple, it felt as if you had spent all your life waiting for him, waiting for the life you two had promised to build together, but the only effort came from you. And now that you were married, the crack in your heart started to become a chasm.

Everything went downhill when, one day, you woke up yet again to an empty bed, the wrinkled sheets the only proof they Jay had spent the night there. He came back late and got out in the early morning— an endless circle that maybe he was used to when he was still a student.

But now Jay was your husband and you seeked all the things any wife wished for. Just some quality time would have been enough.

You got up from the bed and held your breath when you heard a noise coming from the living room. Quietly, you tiptoed to the bedroom door, peeking from the glimmer of the half-closed door.

A rather messed up Jay stomped around the house, in search of something. You got out of the door and walked inside the living room “Jay?” You asked

Without even greeting you, he just said “Where’s my spare gown?”

You blinked faintly, your mind still a little empty from sleeping “I don’t know.” Jay let out a deep groan “I told you to wash it the other day.”

“I still need to hang it with the laundry.” You replied, now remembering “You know I need it to work, Y/N.” His voice was low

“The other one?” You asked “Dirty,” He just mumbled, fumbling with some shirts “Hey! I had folded them neatly.”

“Fold them again.” Jay just answered “I need my gown, we have an important meeting today with the head doctors.”

“It’s dirty,” You stated “Just ask one of your colleagues to lend you one.”

“There’s my name on the gown.” He stopped and dropped the clothes on the floor. “I can’t talk to them while wearing someone else’s name.”

“Just cover it.” Jay rolled his eyes and let out a sigh, “I’m trying to help you.” You said, noticing his distressed behaviour.

“Well, you’re not.” He tsked, making you open your mouth in disbelief. Jay looked at you, raising a brow “What?”

“What?” You asked back with a frown “You just disrespect me and the work I do in our house and you ask ‘What’?” Your voice was dangerously low.

He gulped, glancing down at the discarded ironed clothes on the floor. He picked them up and placed them on the chair once again “Here.”

You let out a sigh and looked away. “Just take your dirty gown and go to your meeting.” You said harshly.

Jay ran a hand through his hair, frustrated “Listen Y/N— I didn’t mean to be so rude.” You still refused to meet his gaze.

“Please, love. Don’t get mad now.” He walked a step closer to you but you just backed away, making him frown “What’s wrong?”

“Everything.” You muttered, your eyes full of hurt now locking with his dark ones. His breath hitched as he took in your pained expression.

“W-Why?” He asked, genuinely confused, “If it’s because of this— I’m sorry, I’m just so stressed.”

“And I am tired.” You stated “I am tired of waking up to an empty bed and going to bed the same way, I am tired of spending all my holidays alone because of your work.”

You let out all the build frustration you had felt through the years “I am tired of waiting for you, Jay, when will all this end?”

Jay raised his hands to caress your arms but you stepped back again, not needing to break down now, but needing to set this straight.

“I know, I’ve been so busy lately.” You scoffed, “You’ve always been busy.”

“I’ve been waiting for you my whole life, Jay.” Your tone was shaky, “I’ve always supported you, since we were kids and even more after we became a couple. But I feel like I missed the most beautiful years of my life because of you.”

His breath sagged “Don’t say that..”

“But it’s the truth.” You stated “I said more ‘I miss you’s than ‘I love you’s in this relationship.”

“I—“ Jay’s bottom lip wobbled. “I’m sorry..”

You sighed, shaking your head. You then glanced up to the clock “It’s already eight, you’ll be late to your meeting.”

You turned around and were about to walk into the bathroom when Jay’s big and strong hands wrapped around your waist “I love you, Y/N.” He said, almost desperately.

You tried your best not to let your tears fall “I know,” You whispered “But maybe you love your job more.” You shrugged away from his embrace and locked yourself in the bathroom.

Jay tried to open the door but you had already turned the key, he helplessly knocked on it “Y/N, please, let’s talk this out.”

As much as you wanted it, your whole body and mind was drained from the constant feeling of sorrow you said in a quiet voice “Just go away, Jay.”

Yeah, he wasn’t going to do that. “Please, come out, let’s talk.” He pleaded

But you just dismissed him once again “I don’t know the things I’d say if we talked now.”

Jay knew he had messed up, really bad this time, and he wanted to make it right. To make it up.

How could he be so obvious to your pain? How could he have not noticed?

You had all the right to be mad at him, in fact, he deserved the slaps you should’ve given him. He deserved your anger, your resentment.

He wasn’t in his right mind that morning— Truth is, he hadn’t been for quite some time.

Traineeship was so exhausting, coming from a whole adulthood of self sacrifice and sabotage, he thought he was the only one suffering. Turned out you were as affected by his actions as him, if not even more.

Jay was so lost in thought he hadn’t even realised he had been typing the same word countless times in the report of the previous meeting. As much as he tried not to think about it, his mind kept drifting back to you.

One of his colleagues noticed his gloomy demeanour and sat on the chair in front of Jay’s desk, tapping his fingers on it “Hey there.” He waved a hand in front of his face.

“Not now, Jake.” Jay groaned, resting his face on his hand, his cheek slightly crushed against his palm “I’m not in the mood.”

“Damn man,” The doctor with the heavy australian accent commented “Who pissed in your cornflakes?”

Jay took a deep sigh, shaking his head “No one, I just am an emeritus douchebag.” Jake raised a playful brow, “Tell me something I don’t know?”

But the death glare he received from the other party made him nod in acknowledgment “Troubles in heaven?”

Jay frowned “How’d you know?” And Jake just smirked in response “You’re so obvious.”

He then leaned his elbows on the desk “Tell me everything.”

Jay tsked “Why should I?” And Jake clicked his tongue back “Dude, believe me, you’ll feel better after you confess your sins.”

“Why do you assume it’s my fault?” The Australian eyed him up and down “Is it not?”

Jay sighed heavily, running a hand on his face “I messed up really bad.”

He nodded, letting Jay know he was listening “Y/N… She’s the best thing that ever happened in my life,” He started “She is my first friend, my first love, my first kiss and time… It has always been her.” He smiled unconsciously.

“But I failed her, I think, I haven’t realised she’s been suffering in silence all these years.” Jay shook his head at himself.

“Does she regret your marriage?” Jay’s eyes widened at such a statement “God, I hope not.” But then he bit his bottom lip “I wouldn’t blame her if she did, though.”

Jake sighed “Listen man, I met Y/N only once or twice, but I see the way she looks at you.”

“How?” Jay asked “As if you were the only one in the whole world, and I mean it.”

“But maybe she doesn’t anymore,” Jay sighed softly “Maybe I lost her for real this time.”

Jake raised a brow, “You love her?” Jay looked at his colleague as if he had just offended him “I’ve always loved her and I always will.”

“Damn right!” Jake smirked, “Now, go tell her.” He shook his head, “I’m on duty.”

Jake sighed and turned the computer screen toward him, he opened a few types and typed on the keyboard and he turned towards him as well and then smiled victoriously “Not anymore.”

Jay glanced at the screen just to see his name had been replaced with Sim Jaeyun on the file with all the rounds “Why?”

Jake got up from the chair and patted his mate’s shoulder “Go get your wife back before it’s really too late.”

⪩⪨

“I’m coming home right now, I’m coming back to you and I’ll make sure you actually stay, both physically and mentally. I’m so sorry for everything baby, and I know this voice mail will probably find you in a desperate state and it breaks me to know I am the cause.” Sigh “I just hope you can forgive me, because I love you, definitely more than my job.”

You replayed Jay’s voice mail countless times, his voice breaking, clearly on the verge of tears. You sat down on the sofa, waiting anxiously for the front door to open, and when it did, you raised to your feet.

Jay rushed inside, almost stumbling as he took off his shoes and gown, discarding both of them on the floor. You both stared at each other, just taking in your presence “Hi.” You breathed out.

Before you could even comprehend what was happening, Jay’s arms wrapped around your body, your head pressed against his chest “Forgive me, love.” He whispered in your ear.

You pulled away, just enough to look inside his eyes “It’s okay—“ “It’s not.” He cut you out, “Don’t lie baby, not anymore.”

Jay’s deep, brown eyes were so sincere you felt your heart skip a few beats “I’ve been foolish, I didn’t realise your discontent for nine whole years. But I do now, I see all you sacrificed just to be with me. I see you.”

You smiled gently, looking up at him. He didn’t fail to notice the swelling and redness in your eyes “I see you too.” You whispered, placing one hand on his cheek.

“You saw me even before I saw myself.” Jay’s tone was gentle, he leaned on your palm “You never miss a single big milestone of mine.” He repeated the same words he said back during graduation day, the day he promised your hand. “I feel like I crashed your dreams, ruined your life.”

“No,” Your brows knitted “No, Jay, don’t ever say that again.” Sincerity filled your eyes “You are my dream.”

A tear fell down Jay’s eyes, a quiet sniffle escaping him. You brought his head down on your shoulders and gently patted his back “Why are you crying?”

“I thought I lost you again, because of my stupidity.” He shook his head, clinging onto your waist as if you were a lifeline.

You took his hand in yours and brought it on your chest “Do you feel it?” You asked. Jay raised his head and stared at you with teary eyes. He concentrated on the palm on your chest and felt your heart beating fast.

“That’s the effect you have on me.” Jay looked like a lost child at your words “Still?”

“Then, still, always.” You nodded your head, your lips curling into a soft smile “What happened this morning, to both of us, it was the anger speaking.”

Jay gently held your hand and brought it to his lips, his knuckles brushing on your ring finger. “I want to focus on you more, to make up for all those years we’ve lost because of my job.”

“Will you let me?” He asked, his head tilting to the side “Yes.” You breathed out

“I’ll take care of you,” He brought you closer by your hand, your chest flush against each other “I’ll spoil you rotten.” He brushed your hair away, his breath hitting your skin, making you shiver “My dear wife.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck, murmuring on his lips “I want to have a baby, Jay.” His brows shot up in surprise “You do?”

“Yes,” You caressed the back of his neck. “I want to be the mother of your children.”

“Damn love,” Jay let out a shaky breath. “You can’t say things like that without bearing the consequences.”

You bit your bottom lip, bringing him down to you “I’m ready to bear them.”

Jay took you in his arms in a swift movement, carrying you over his shoulder and spanking your ass “To the bedroom.”

⪩⪨

“Hey, love.” Jay sat down beside you by the porch of the holiday lake house, placing a mug of iced tea on the table.

“Thank you.” You thanked, taking it in your hand with a groan “I really miss coffee.”

“I know,” He smiled gently, caressing the swelling of your belly “But caffeine isn’t good for the baby, is it?”

“Dad! Can I sail the boat?” Your eldest daughter asked, pointing at the boat near the shore of the lake “Fine, but be careful!” Jay shouted so she could hear and you both watched as she sailed the little box you used to sail as well during high school summer break.

You smiled, recalling the old memory, and Jay did the same, watching your face as if you were the best view of all.

“Do I have something on my face?” You asked, feeling a little self-conscious “Beauty.” He winked at you and you nudged his shoulder playfully.

His eyes fell down on your belly once again, a warm expression displayed on his face “Thank you so much, Y/N.”

You frowned at his sudden thankfulness “For what?”

“For everything,” His voice was full of sincerity “For this baby, for our other daughter, for being by my side.”

“And thank you for loving me.” Jay added, once again kissing your ring finger, this time his lips lingering a little longer on your knuckles.

“Oh, Jay.” You let out a shaky breath “That’s very effortless.”

Your eyes then fell down on the necklace, the same one you gifted him for his fifteenth birthday. Your fingers unconsciously reached for it as you began playing with it “You still wear it?”

“I’ll take it in the grave with me.”

[⪩⪨] END.

THANK YOU FOR READING ! REBLOG (and like) AND LET ME KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS!

© I2SUNRIC | DON'T STEAL OR CLAIM AS YOURS.

[tbaluver]

Can you do the boys with a mentally unwell reader? Like she has depression, ocd, or anxiety that she takes medication for?

S/O Who Faces Mental Illness- The Love And DeepSpace Men

parings in order: Xavier x Reader, Zayne x Reader, Rafayel x Reader, Sylus x Reader tags: ( for all ) mentioning of depression/ depressive episodes, ocd rituals, anxiety/ social anxiety a/n: hi anonnie ! ♡⸜(˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝ sorry this took awhile, this was sitting in my drafts and i would keep coming back to it. i just wanted to make sure this topic is handled with care. i know that everyone has different types of depression, anxiety, and ocd so i wrote the ones that i'm familar with and gone through. i hope this was okay lmk ! ̤̮

⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆

Xavier:

Xavier has always been such an attentive lover to you and he’s grown increasingly worried as he observed your unhealthy habits. He notices how you spend more time in bed than usual, longer than he would stay in bed. How you seem disinterested in eating, even if it were foods you typically enjoyed. Noticing how these impacts have affected you, he has made the effort to educate himself better on what you’re going through to understand and support you better.

If you were taking any medications, he'll read the entire packet that came with it or look up as much information he can online. He'll try to remember all the side effects that comes with it and makes sure to check up on you whenever you take them.

He notices when your energy plummets so it’s his duty to take care of you. He tries to make everything easy for you. He’ll make sure to tuck both of you in bed, turning off the lights when you both get ready, making sure to have food delivered when you wake up. Xavier encourages you to take a walk outside with him, helping you get some fresh air and encouraging you to step out of bed. He’ll hold your hand the entire time.

Distractions were one of the ways he could get your mind off any anxious thoughts or from any of your OCD rituals. He'll have a list of your favorite things to do and see if it helps. He'll stay with you in bed all day if that's what you need and wouldn't let you isolate yourself. Will also build a fort to cuddle you up in and have you tucked in his arms.

Anytime you two were out and you started to feel drained, then he'll take you back home. You two can stay in and cuddle.

He never pushes you beyond your comfort levels. If there was any situation where you started to feel uncomfortable, then he'll lead the situation and you somewhere else that sets you more at ease.

Zayne:

Zayne is no stranger to the topics of mental illness. He’s gone through extensive studies and many clinical experiences with patients. But with you, it's different. Your struggles aren’t just a clinical case to him, they’re personal. He’s acutely attuned to subtle changes of your mood and actions. He notices the quiet shifts in your expressions, or the way your eyes dull and lose their sparkle. Even though it’s hard to read through his expressions, it truly does hurt him to see you suffer. Your internal pain that you battle inside hurts him more than words can convey.

If you were to go through a depressive episode and you feel like you can’t do everything you need, then Zayne has no problem doing the extra housework or helping you with your physical health. He would reassure you to not feel guilty even though he’s busy with his work or any paperwork's. You have done so much as a loving partner to him and he will always return the favor for you.

He’ll help you shower and dress you up. He'll make sure to brush your hair gently and that you brush your teeth. He’ll even make sure you eat enough and he’ll praise you for taking every bites.

He’s always there for you. Even if he was in the middle of work, he would remind you to never hesitate to reach out whenever you feel isolated or just needed to vent, anything. Spam him, leave voice messages- he’ll read every word and listen to each message and reply with care. No matter how busy he might be, he’ll find a way to call you as soon as he can. He wants to make sure you’re okay and to remind you that you’re never alone, even when he’s away. Your well-being matters so deeply to him that he’s committed to be there for you in every possible way.

He'll keep note of all the side effects you've experienced with your medications, so he's aware of the potential issues that might arise when you take them. Will send you texts reminding you to take your meds at the right time and to make sure you eat before you take them so you don’t get nauseous.

He’s a very attentive and caring partner, he pays close attention to the triggers of your OCD and observes the coping mechanisms you have. He notices your struggle with hand washing compulsions and understands how these rituals can take a toll on you. He’ll try to help you by pointing out that excessive hand washing can actually be harmful, as it washes away the beneficial ones that your body needs.

He'll be very reassuring when you feel the need to constantly check up on things. He won't judge you for it but instead he'll offer to check on it himself and reassure you that everything is okay.

It wouldn’t be new to him to avoid places that were crowded or super noisy. He would know where all the less crowded and quiet places are. At this point, he already had taken the time to understand your triggers and sources of anxiety. He just wanted to be well-informed so he can help you avoid these situations and provide the support and care you need.

If you were to experience an anxiety attack, he remains calm and patient and helps you try to breathe. Whenever you need to vent, he’s always there for you. He’ll let you curl up on his lap while you talk, gently stroking your hair. Although he’s quiet while you talk, you know he listens to every detail and he doesn’t want to interrupt you. After you finish sharing, he’ll offer advice or discuss the situation to help you work through it together.

Rafayel:

He knows that you were going through significant struggles because it often kept you doing certain things with him. There are times when the weight of your depression and anxiety feels so heavy that it drains your motivation, making your favorite hobbies or simply just doing anything seem out of reach. Sometimes the intensity of your OCD leads you to stay up, unable to rest because you repeatedly check things like the light switches, doors, windows, and everything else in the house.

OCD is a topic that Rafayel wouldn’t tease or be playful on with you. He notices the small things when you repeat patterns or prefer certain number sets. He’s very patient and understanding about this topic but anytime you feel as if your ocd ritual was messed up, he is quick to run to your side and reassure you that everything will be okay.

Rafayel has been in a dark place himself so he knows the signs when you’re struggling. Whether you’ve been through this over and over again, he’ll help you through this every single time. If you don't have the energy to take a shower or a bath, then he’ll simply carry you and wash you himself. He’ll join you and use your favorite bath bomb scents and make it a little fun by blowing bubbles at you. A smile would curl up on his lips when he sees you smiling again.

He wouldn’t force you to talk. He’ll do most of the talking and hopefully it takes your mind off anything you were anxious about. When you are ready to talk, he’ll praise you. It’s a big step forward in healing and he would be listening attentively to everything you say.

Rafayel would text you throughout the day and ask how you were feeling. He's always there at your beck and call. If you need anything, he already has it and he's on his way to you.

If you were out in public and you started to feel uneasy, he would lead you somewhere else. Rafayel would always be holding your hand for security and to make sure you were always right by his side. He doesn't mind wherever you both go, as long as he's with you. He makes sure that you two can go to places that aren't crowded or noisy but still enjoyable and fun for the both of you.

He’s very worried whenever you take medications. He knows that they can have some mean and nasty side effects and that’s the last thing he would want you to go through. He’ll always make sure to check up on you a couple hours later to see how you’re holding up.

Sylus:

It does not take him long to notice you were acting off. Nothing can get past this man and he doesn’t want you to feel like you have anything to hide from him. No matter what the issue is, he isn’t leaving your side and you’ll both work on the issue together. He doesn’t want you to go through anything alone.

When you feel empty and you simply want to sink into your bed and lay there motionless because everything in the world was just too much, Sylus will not hesitate to take action. He’ll make sure you're eating nutritious meals by calling his private chefs or he’ll make them himself. He’ll sit right beside you and watch you take enough bites or he’ll spoon feed it to you himself. Sylus would make sure to tell you that you were doing so well even if the bites were big or small. After you are done eating, he’ll make sure that you take all your meds and check up on you if any of the side effects arise.

He’ll be right by your side at any doctor's appointments. He’ll carry you to the bathroom himself or he’ll use his evol to help wash, dry, and dress you up. Sylus would encourage you as well to go on walks with him so your body is still moving and so you can get some fresh air. He does all of this because he loves you and he doesn’t want you to lose any of the progress you made. He knows your capabilities and he knows you will get through this. He’ll be right by your side the entire time.

When he notices that your OCD rituals are becoming overwhelming, he doesn't hesitate to step in to help. He finds engaging activities for the both of you to do so it steers your focus away from the obsessive thoughts. Understanding how OCD can distort your perceptions, he uses distractions as a way to gently pull you out of that obsessive cycle.

Sylus would let you know that he’s accessible. Whenever you need him, feel free to call him any time and he’ll drop anything and come by to help you.

Don't even bother brushing off any of your issues. Anything that bothers you, he's always there to listen and help you. He’s a great listener and he never judges you for any problems you had and the reason behind your behavior. His shoulder is for you to lean on, cry on, laugh on, and hold on, etc. He’s understanding and wants you to be happy again.

When he’s away, he will have food delivered to you. He’ll make sure you eat and that you take your meds right after by calling or texting to remind you. Or he’ll just send Mephisto to you. He’ll caw/squawk repeatedly until you finish your meals.

[hoshigray]

Pleasurable Practice

Here's what I got: when you're left in headquarters to study for an upcoming language skit, your boss and work crush, Miguel O'Hara, does what he can to help his subordinate. And he does, in more ways than one...

A/n: It's been a week since I saw the film in theaters, and my brain hasn't been the same. I tried very hard not to write for this man, but here we are. Sighhhh, I swear I wasn't this bad when playing EoT (curse you Oscar Issac, and the ATSV art department!!!). And it doesn't help that my social feeds are full of him...Anyway, I hope you enjoy this piece! It's WAY longer than I wanted, but I guess that's meant to show how much fun I had writing, hehehe~. Also, ty so so much for 600+ followers!!

Cw: Miguel x fem!reader - some ATSV spoilers so tread carefully - sexual context so minors DNI - fingering (fem! receiving) - cunnilingus - clitoral play (Miguel's fangs lightly brush your clit, but doesn't bite it) - praise - kisses on the stomach - pet names (amorcito/little love, mi alma/my soul; amor/my love; vida/my life) - sexual acts in public - outside intrusions, but you two don't get caught.

Wc: 2.8k

"Hey, Lyla. You sure you wanna leave me here?"

"Aww, you scared something would happen without me?" She chuckles when you shrug. "You'll be fine; everything's been taken care of for today. If something pops outta nowhere, you know where to find Miguel or give me a call. Alright, I'm outta here. Cya tomorrow~."

"Bye, Lyla~" With that, the pixelated woman signs off from your line of sight, and you slump into your chair with a sigh.

It's late at night in Nueva York. The Spider Society headquarters is still active, but fewer people occupy the halls and sectors in these late hours, you being one of them. You're sitting at a conference table by the teleportation room, taking in Margo's shift. But since things are quiet around here, you use this time to work on your homework.

Well, you would've if a pair of hands didn't suddenly come from behind and blocked your vision. "Guess who?"

You shake your head with a smile. "Aren't you supposed to be at Earth-50101 hanging with Gwen and Pav?"

The hands are removed, giving your shoulders a quick rub. "Can't say a quick bye before I'm off?" Hobie Brown walks from behind to sit on the table, avoiding the scattered papers on the surface. "What's all this? School?"

"Yeah," You pick up a paper with color-coordinated dialogues. " I got a reflection to finish and need to read this script for a skit in my modern language class on Wednesday."

"What language?"

"Spanish." You flip the script for him to look at. A giggle slips from you. "Suppose you can't help me, huh?"

Hobie grins. "Yo lo haría si pudiera." Your eyes go big. Of course, the guy who "doesn't believe in consistency" would know a thing or two about other languages.

".....Please stay and help me."

"Can't, perhaps next time." Another heavy sigh as the tall other gets up from the table and opens a portal to Pavitr's universe. "We'll save some snacks to bring back tomorrow. See ya then."

"Bye, Hobie." You groan with your head meeting the table surface as the portal vanishes with Hobie's dismissal. In despair, you lift your head up and proceed with your work.

It's about 11 p.m., and you were able to finish your paper in about two hours. It's now time to work on your Spanish script. Unfortunately, your class partner can't be here (obviously) to say his lines with you, but you two promised to highlight your lines and recite on your own downtime. So you follow through with the blue lines — your lines — avoiding the red lines and announcing all the words to the best you can.

After the third time around, you start to get to the rhythm of it. So in tune with what you're doing, you don't mind your surroundings as you circle around the table with your face glued to your script.

"What're you doing?"

However, it all comes to a halt when a voice startles you. So used to the silence and your own tone that you didn't notice a familiar man creep from behind you. Your eyes widen at the tall and well-built figure before you.

Miguel O'Hara, Spider-Man 2099 and the leader of the Spider Society — your boss who you have a major crush on and is still waiting for you to reply after nearly scaring you to death.

"O-Oh, Miguel, umm," you quickly straighten yourself up, but the heat in your face encroaches. "Sorry, didn't see ya there. I was just looking at this script."

"A script?" He slightly tilts his head, surveying your moves as you sit back at the table. He follows and peers behind your shoulder to see what you're working on. "For what?"

"It's for a skit in my Spanish class. I'm reciting my lines for Wednesday." He nods at your answer, glancing around to see you're alone. "Lyla signed off for a while, but she told me to tell you that if you 'need anyone to put a leash on you,' Jessica would answer the call."

The man narrowed his eyes and sucked his teeth, "of course she said that..." was all he murmured under his breath from his pixelated peer's words. With a heavy sigh, he turns back to the paper in your hand and extends out his. His silent request is answered when you pass him the sheet to skim. A brow is lifted. "Is the skit like some kind of married couple or—"

You confirm. "Yes. Our unit is on relationships, and my partner and I wanted to do a skit where the husband — my partner — comes home and surprises his wife with their favorite flower and then gives a nice speech on how much he loves her." Miguel still reads the script, but you continue on. "Luckily, our instructor said it's not our final where it's required to talk entirely in Spanish. So, we can say some English phrases or words if our brains go blank."

Miguel finally stops examining the script and eyes at you. "I can help."

Huh? "Excuse me?"

"You're the blue lines, right?" Correct. "Then I can be the red lines and help you practice."

Wait, no! "Oh no, there's no need for that, Miguel! I'm sure you're busy looking at the screens on your station and—"

"No pasa nada, Y/n," You gulp when he grabs a chair and sits close to you. "I'll say your partner's parts, and you reply with yours." There's no use in arguing with him out of this, so you just follow suit.

For the past thirty minutes, you and Miguel have been practicing. Sometimes he'll call you out on words you forget or mispronounce, which hurts your little heart being scolded like a child. But then there are times when he praises you for saying something correctly without second-guessing, or he'll ask for a pen to scratch off something and write a better phrase for you to say. And you can tell that your memorization's been improving thanks to his help. Maybe there was no need to be nervous.

The time is now 11:46, and you feel way more confident about this skit than before. Miguel can also tell by how much you've performed that you'll do fine on Wednesday. Guess that should do it. He puts the script down and gets up, heading back to his original post.

"Hey, wanna do the actual skit with me?"

Huh? "What?"

"Well, I was thinking," You squeak. "Maybe we can try acting out the skit without the paper now that I'm kinda getting the hang of it? But, I mean, that's only if you're okay with it, ya know..."

His brows trench down. Miguel knows he shouldn't do it; there are many universes in his post that he needs to keep an eye on in case anything pops off. He can't afford to just act out a scenario for some class. However, when he glances back at you, he faces mixed feelings. Your eyes look at his, nibbling on your bottom lip, and your fingers fidget with each other as you wait for his answer.

Miguel knows he shouldn't...but it won't hurt to comply this one time.

"Fine," your heart skips when he turns back to face you fully. "But don't mention it to Lyla or Jess. I'll never hear the end of it from those two."

"Of course!" You reassure him as you ready yourself, mentally calming the happiness brewing inside down. "You go."

He nods and plays the scene. He acts like he opens a door and holds an imaginary object. "Estoy en casa, cariño."

"Oh, bienvenido a casa, bebé!" You rush to Miguel and give him a hug. You feel him go rigid, and you freeze. Wait, he's still my boss and not my actual partner! Oh, God, I bet he regrets doing this now...Ughhh!! Commit now, cry later!

You quickly improvise and pull him by his spider suit to come close, placing pretend kisses on his cheeks. "Llegas pronto a casa, mi guapo muñeco. Is something wrong?"

Miguel stares at you for a few seconds before he blinks and coughs. "Ahem, Querida, vine temprano porque es tu cumpleaños. Y quería darte esto." The hand with the invisible object comes up, and you take it.

"Dios mío, ¿mi flor favorita en mi día especial?" You give the man a warm smile and place a hand on his cheek, stroking his skin lovingly. Miguel hitches his breath. "Eres demasiado buena conmigo, muñeco. Pero no tenías que regalarme nada."

It takes Miguel a moment, but he coughs once more and returns to the task. "Puede que la flor no fuera necesaria, pero tenía que conseguirla para ti, mi amor." He puts a hand on yours that's still on his cheek, now it's your turn to slow your breathing. "Cada vez que veo esta flor, sólo puedo pensar en ti. No sólo hoy, sino todos los días. Veo todo lo que haces por mí y nunca lo doy por sentado. You are my everything, Y/n. Tú eres mi mundo. Mi luz. Mi corazón. Mi… Mi…"

He stops, noticing your expression and shallow breaths. Your eyes never leave his, mouth agape, and your attention entirely on his words— no, on him. Even in this little act, you dare not move or say something out of turn. Listening to the man before you intently, your hand still in his.

He knows he shouldn't, but Miguel leans into you, and a small gasp leaves you before his lips press onto your soft ones. "....Mi alma."

Your brain short-circuits, the feel of his lips overtaking you. You awkwardly kiss him back, resulting in a moan from Miguel. He grabs your waist while pushing himself forward, making you walk backwards until you hit the table. The bump has you two break the kiss, forcing you back to reality.

Miguel says nothing, and so do you, your eyes honing in on his deep red orbs. Your thoughts go too fast that your head pounds. What? What was that? Did he mean to do that??

"Túmbate."

He captures your attention. "What?"

"Lie down, mi amor." He commands in a stern voice. Hesitance restrains you, yet you still follow orders and sit on the table with your back to the surface. A small smile creeps up on Miguel, and he leans down to plant more kisses on your sweet lips. "Good. Now, say your part."

Slow smooches from your chin to your neck leave you breathless. Although the heat in your face is unbearable, you play along and stick to the script. "My wonderful husband...Y...You are so thought—"

"Se supone que está en español, Y/n." He corrects you. Lifting your shirt to reveal your abdomen. Miguel kisses your exposed tummy while his hand snakes past your bottoms, pressing a finger down on the wet spot of your clothed vulva. Your toes curl as your first moan leaves puffy lips. "Try again."

You intake a deep breath. "Ere...Eres muy considerado con—Mmmm....conmigo." Your bottoms and undergarments are now off, your bare cunt out for Miguel to see. The older man props your legs upward with both hands as he brings his face close to your pussy. He lightly blows on it, and you bite your lip from the cold air. "Keep going, mi vida."

"Cuando....no haya luz en mi—Oooh!!" Miguel flicks your clitoris with his tongue before nestling it between your soaked folds, sucking and laving your essence. "Nnnmp! Mi-Miguel, I can't do thisss...Your tongue, it feels so, so—Oh Christ..."

His ruby eyes peek at your face. "But you were doing just fine, Y/n." The way he says your name feels so sinful, so forbidden. But so pleasing to the ears. "Repeat it."

His tongue goes back to torment your slit. The risque noises the wet muscle makes with your slick-covered chasm ring your eardrums. Ecstatic whimpers fill the space around you, and you grab tufts of Miguel's brown hair when his tongue flicks your clit again. He's impatient, so you concede.

"Cuando no haya luz en mi vida....Haaaahhh, sé que estarás ahí para protegerme." Miguel pushes your tender bud against his teeth. His canine brushing on your pearl, causing you to jerk. "Eres mi sombra...Mi—Ahhhh!....escudo....Mi rey."

He chortles, "Good job, mi alma."

Satisfied with your cooperation, the man sucks on your precious sex as his forefinger nestles between your folds, your slick providing lubricant to naturally push his digit through your entrance. You jolt with a sharp cry, tears falling from your beautiful face.

His tongue and fingers go faster, and your release climbs higher with every lick. The stimulation of your poor cunt and clitoris is hardcore that you come in a few seconds, the walls of your chasm fluttering around Miguel's fingers coated with your personal fluids.

Your heavy pants slow down to steady your body that subsides from the aftershocks of your orgasm. Miguel withdraws his mouth and fingers from you, standing upright to take in your figure.

He scoffs with a tiny grin, licking his lips. "Amorcito."

You open your mouth to say something, but a flash of colors and shapes captures the attention of both of you. Your eyes go wide. Oh no, someone's coming!

With haste, you immediately grab for your bottoms and underwear before taking cover under the conference table, using it to quickly put your clothes back on before someone enters through the portal. That someone was Jessica Drew, making her arrival known by revving her motorbike.

"Jess," Miguel puts on his usually serious face. But on the inside, he's almost as nervous as you. Because he swiftly pulls a chair out to cover his erection lower regions.

"Hey, Miguel! I thought I'd find you here." The woman addresses him when she's done a lap around the table. Her portal vanishes from the scene. "I've been trying to call you through your watch. You not wearing it?"

He looks down at his wrist where it was supposed to be. "...I was using the restroom, so I left it on my station."

"Mmm, I figured." Jessica then notices the paper and backpack on the table. "This is Y/n's stuff, right? Where are they?"

"R-Right here, Jess!" To her surprise, you come out from the table with your bottoms fully secured. "Sorry, I was looking for my pen before packing up." You smile to ease the awkward tension and your racing heart.

"Oh, okay then." Jessica nods to your words and turns to Miguel. "Anyway, I was calling you up because I need backup. The guy I was dealing with somehow switched places with another villain. Took care of the other one, but my guy's elsewhere."

He hums. "Lyla."

"That's me." The yellow-pixelated woman with pink heart-shaped glasses appears once more.

"Where are the coordinates of the anomaly Jess was handling?"

"I'm sorry, you want me to do what?"

"...."

"What's the magic word?" The tiny woman teases him while you and Jessica hold in your laughs.

Miguel's brows furrow with a slight pout. "....Canyoupleasesend—"

"Woah, woah, woah," Lyla gets closer to his face with each word, raising his irritation as she does so. "Little too fast there."

"Can you please give us the co—"

"Already gave it to Jess."

"Then what was the point—"

"You know how much I love to pester ya," her smile doesn't help squander his frustration, not when he also hears the exchanged giggles between you and Jessica. "And call that payback for not having your watch on you."

To avoid their eyes seeing Miguel's situation, he leaves and fetches his watch quickly after being repeatedly teased by the two women. He returns ready with his mask on and the device on his wrist. Lyla and Jess are waiting for him, same with you and all your stuff packed up. It's 12 in the morning now, you have to get home. "Ready?"

"Yup, see ya there." The woman on her bike starts it up. Lyla disappears when the dimension is opened. "Bye, Y/n!"

"Bye, Jess!" You wave goodbye to the woman, who does one final lap before entering the portal to her new destination. And now you're back to being alone with Miguel, who you find looking at you. You gulp and say your thoughts. "Don't worry, I didn't tell them! And, sorry that it happened. I was being a little too close to you in the first—"

"Hey." Miguel lifts a hand to stop you from rambling on further, and you listen. "Your skit. When is it again?"

It takes you aback that he asks, but you still reply. "Wednesday?"

"Hm. Alright then." And with that, he walks to the portal to his next mission. But before he exits, he peers from his shoulder and proclaims something.

"Tell me how you did on Wednesday, then we'll continue with this talk."

[sixosix]

STAY, TOO | AETHER

desc you were afraid that aether would break your heart, but that all flew out the window the moment he got sick and demanded only you take care of him

notes wc 2.8k, FLUFF FLUFF bit of angst with reader’s mindset but happy ending i swear on my asia server genshin acc + this draft had been in my docs since 10/15/2023. its a miracle that i decided to pick up on it again and actually finish it !!!!!!! enjoy fellow aether kissers

Evenings were always eerily silent; because of that, your thoughts were loud. Not in the way that screamed—no, it was much worse. It was his voice that whispered, that made you shiver and reach out for something that never existed. 

You didn’t know if you were dreaming or if you were awake and letting your mind wander away to a familiar face. Your mind always ended up back to him, no matter how much you tried to stray away. No matter who you talked to, he haunted you. Who you kissed, his face flashed in your mind. You wanted to curse his name out—it was his fault you were like this. It was his fault for deciding to come into this world and rid yourself of your defenses, left helpless to his whims.

“Um, Y/N?” A hand moved to your shoulder.

You jumped out of your seat, heart racing as his grinning face dissipated from your mind. You turned and breathed a sigh of relief. “What are you doing here, Sucrose?”

“It’s past midnight,” Sucrose murmured, her expression nervous, but apparently, she was too worried to leave you be. “I saw light from your window and thought you fell asleep…”

You didn’t even know if you were—everything before felt like a distant blur. Your eyes darted back to your desk, and then your face paled at the sight of a grinning face staring back at you. How long had you been mindlessly doodling Aether’s face? You quickly snatched them away from Sucrose’s view.

“I—I’m fine. Sorry, I did fall asleep.”

Sucrose’s bottom lip jutted out. “This has been happening for too long now. You’re not fine.”

What were you supposed to say to that? You were so hopelessly infatuated with someone who was ruining your life and possibly your job with Mr. Albedo. That would be a fast way to get yourself fired.

Sucrose sat on the chair beside you, her expression determined. “We’re friends, aren’t we? Can you at least tell me what’s going on?”

“It’s nothing that serious, Sucrose,” you stammered. Hopefully, the candles were dim enough to hide how flustered you were. It was more embarrassing than serious, really.

“Is it the Traveler?” She knew how to strike hard for someone with such an innocent face.

When had it not been the Traveler, honestly?

“Ugh…” That was a yes for her, apparently.

Sucrose smiled in relief. Her eyes darted around your face, studying you. “What’s wrong? Was he affecting you that much?”

“Yes. Disturbingly so. Like, seriously, it’s disturbing me.”

Sucrose’s eyes sparkled with wonder. “How?”

“It feels like swallowing a crystalfly whole and feeling it flutter around my stomach whenever I even think of him.”

Sucrose’s face turned serious. “What have you been doing to the crystalfies we’ve been collecting?”

“Never mind,” you muttered. “I’m fine, Sucrose. I promise, okay?”

You weren’t. Sucrose must’ve thought the same, too, because Lisa barged into your office the next day.

“What else are you expecting? For him to notice your wallowing and say something about it?”

Lisa’s sweet, melodious voice sounded torturous now when she was poking at all the things you were desperately trying to keep hidden. You sink against your seat, feeling a lot like a scolded kid, caught red-handed skipping chores—skipping responsibilities, hoping to stay oblivious for a bit longer.

“He already said something,” you grumbled, finding it difficult to meet the mage’s sharp eyes.

For someone who sounded as gentle as a mother to her only child, Lisa’s disappointment made you feel a lot more shameful than if she were to chide you in the middle of Mondstadt’s streets.

“A week after we met. He told me he likes me,” you continued.

Lisa’s jaw dropped, a funny expression you’ve never seen on her before. “A week after you met? Let me get this right—”

You groaned, “Lisa, trust me, I know—”

“—Our dear Traveler confessed to you ages ago. When was it when Aether helped us with Stormterror? He’s in Fontaine now!” Lisa looked a little frazzled, her eyes wild. You were expecting her to chide you some more until you saw how her entire expression was sparkling. This felt foreboding, somehow. “He keeps visiting to see you! After all these years of you foolishly rejecting him—”

“I didn’t reject him!”

Lisa hummed thoughtfully. “Oh, but isn’t that exactly what you’re doing?”

You were not rejecting Aether. You didn’t outright tell him you’re not interested because you are. He had been haunting your thoughts since you first laid eyes on him, returning from battle, cold breath billowing from his mouth, a pixie by his side, his hair aglow gold, Festering Desire in hand—and, oh, you desired him. It reached a point where Albedo himself had to ask if you wanted a check-up from how much you were burning with want.

Aether had grinned at you so brightly, and you damn near melted on the spot, even in the unrelentingly bitter weather of Dragonspine.

You found yourself liking him for more than his quite literally alien nature, his out-of-this-world body, and his abilities that had your hands itching to reach for a pen and paper to write down everything about him and figure out what the hell he was. Instead, you started falling for him as just Aether. His boyish smile, his witty jabs, his glimpses of personality.

And then he confessed to you—you, no one but one of Albedo’s assistants—and said he likes you, and you just couldn’t bring yourself to say anything at the time. You thought of him leaving one day, and then you just couldn’t say the yes that was chanting in your brain.

To no one’s surprise, he did leave. Not to that extent yet, but away from Mondsadt. Even in Liyue, Inazuma, Sumeru, and Fontaine, he invaded your thoughts as if cursing you for not saying what you were thinking. You could only wish he thought of you just as much as you did to him. Maybe he’d end up hating you, and not loving him would be easier.

“Are you kidding?” If it were so easy, you would’ve already jumped in his arms and kissed him breathlessly. “He’s—he’s not like us. He doesn’t belong here. He’d leave, eventually. Just like he always does with the other worlds.”

“Is that what’s stopping you?”

“That’s reason enough to be stopping me,” you said sharply. “He’s got millions of worlds to flirt with as he pleases, and this is my only one. Who knows if Aether is the type to even visit?”

Lisa crossed her arms. “Maybe you should ask. Communication is key.”

“Even if that was the case, I can’t handle it. I already miss him enough while he’s still in Teyvat—I don’t know how I could live with myself if I let him into my heart, and he’s a world away.”

“You’ve already let him in your heart,” Lisa said softly. “Just talk to him, alright? I’m not the only one worried about you when you drive yourself to a corner like this—especially over a boy!”

“I’m perfectly alright,” you said, ignoring Lisa’s amused smile. “I’m not losing my mind. Especially over a boy.”

You definitely were losing your mind. That boy was Aether; how could you not?

“I think it’s adorable,” Lisa cooed, cupping her cheeks and sighing dreamily. “He’s still waiting patiently. Who knew the Traveler would be so willing to wait for love?”

You wished that it wasn’t like that.

“Y/N! Are you here?”

Crap. Did you fall asleep in your office again? Might as well stop paying rent if this was going to be a recurring thing.

Once again, by routine at this point, you threw your notes that had Aether’s face inked by the edges. Memory be damned, You couldn’t let anyone see how detailed your drawings of Aether are.

“Y/N?” The voice rang out again, and it sounded more familiar now.

You went to open the door and frowned. “Lisa? It’s so early—did something happen?”

Lisa smiled in greeting, so beautifully devious with what she was about to say: “Our Honorary Knight is back in town!”

“Did you come all the way here just to tell me that?” Were people just seeing you as one of Aether’s admirers?

“Of course not,” Lisa chuckled, patting your head. How did she look so good this early in the morning? “He’s sick and needs someone to look after him.”

You wanted to close the door. You wanted to crawl back to your desk and go to sleep, but she had that look in her eye—one that told you that you had something to do with where she was going. And you did not like where this was going.

“So?” Dammit. You really wanted to see Aether again.

“Why, who else better to take care than his dearest alchemist?”

“Albedo is everyone’s alchemist. Sucrose is everyone’s dearest alchemist.”

Lisa shushed you. Why was she so invested in this? “No, no, his. Not everyone’s.”

You felt your face burn at the thought of being his dearest alchemist. Or anything his. “Absolutely not! Wasn’t he in Fontaine just yesterday?”

“Why don’t you go ask him that yourself?”

You scowled. You weren’t agreeable in the mornings. “How did you even know about this?”

Lisa smirked, poking your nose. “Because he asked for you, specifically.”

You laughed dryly—good one.

“I won’t let you do anything you wouldn’t want,” Lisa said seriously, “but would you change your mind if I told you that it’s Aether that wants you?”

And so you ended up in Aether’s teapot, which was hanging around Jean’s office for safety. Jean only smiled knowingly when you knocked on the door and zipped straight to the teapot. You were only doing this on the off-chance that Lisa was telling the truth and that Aether demanded he didn’t want anyone else but you checking up on him.

His teapot was familiar. You had been here a few times, but you didn’t have your own room. That was too embarrassing to ask, no matter how much Aether suggested it.

“Y/N!” Aether lit up the moment you entered the room.

“Aether,” you greeted, and as much as you wanted to hide it, a smile bloomed on your lips. It was hard not to smile when Aether was looking at you like that.

He looked like a mess, with strands of hair spread all over his pillows. His blanket was only up to his hips, showing that he was out of his usual look, and wore a simple white shirt. You were grateful for that shirt; you didn’t want to end up helping Aether strip because he definitely would have suggested that.

“I’m sick,” Aether whined. “Tend to me.”

You would’ve doubted his fever, but it was worryingly hot when you reached out to check his forehead’s temperature.

Immediately, your suspicions fly out the window. Aether was burning, and you were the only one in the same room (teapot?) who should take care of him. The Honorary Knight was reduced to a fever.

You cupped his cheek and watched as Aether pressed his face closer. “Does your head hurt?”

“Yes.”

You tore your hand off. “I’ll make something to ease the pain.”

“You can ease it right now. By kissing it away.”

“Aether,” you sighed. Unbelievable. How did he still have enough energy for this while positively rotting on his bed? “Take this seriously. I haven’t seen you this sick— Actually, this is the first time I’ve ever seen you sick. How did this even happen?”

“Stayed too long underwater,” he said.

Aether? Getting sick from swimming? You made a face, which Aether laughed softly at.

“No, seriously. It was an emergency commission. Even when I had to resurface, it was pouring. Someone was making the Hydro Dragon cry hard yesterday.” Aether’s face scrunched as he looked up at you with round eyes. “I was so cold.”

Although it sounded absurd that Aether would get a fever from that, you suppose that having to stay drenched for a long time would affect even someone like him. You couldn’t even imagine having to shiver your way back to Mondstadt after being thoroughly drenched the whole day.

You pulled the blanket further up Aether’s chest. Even if you suspected he was lying, he was trembling underneath the covers.

“Alright.” You’ll believe him because right now, it is a fact that Aether is undoubtedly sick.

You were well aware that he was and sounded like he was dying, but he looked cute, flushed, and staring at you expectantly. It felt nice to be needed by someone like him—made him feel less like a faraway dream.

You cleared your throat and looked away; you knew you looked flustered. “Have you eaten yet?”

“Why? Will you cook for me?” he asked.

You knew how to cook, but for someone who had traveled regions and tasted all kinds of foods, you would probably disappoint. Still, it wasn’t time for a competition with other chefs in Liyue or Fontaine. Aether needed food to fill his stomach.

“Any suggestions?” You hoped for nothing unfamiliar and crazy. You loved Aether, but having to fetch ingredients from oceans away was too much.

“Make it with love,” Aether said cheekily because he was a bastard who didn’t have any mercy on your heart.

And so you left the room and ignored Aether, laughing and coughing as he called after you. You had to leave either way—your chest was almost as warm as Aether’s forehead.

You decided to make a Radish Veggie Soup. You hoped Aether wasn’t too picky about his vegetables. The water was comfortably cold, enough to make you search around his cupboards for towels to soak it into. As you waited for the water to boil, you decided to check up on Aether again.

He was still lying there, but with his eyes closed now. You felt terrible seeing someone you witnessed defeat dragons battling a fever. You drew closer and placed the towel on his head. He didn’t flinch at the stark change of temperature, but he did react instantly, his warm hand clasping your wrist.

“Stay,” Aether rasped.

You bit your lip, your heart sinking. Was he dreaming about his sister? You always worried when he was feeling down because of their separation.

But then his eyes opened, and he stared right at you. “Y/N,” he said, “please stay.”

“I can’t.”

“Just this once.” Aether’s voice sounded so quiet, so unsure of himself.

You really couldn’t. You had a Radish Veggie Soup to attend to.

“I’m staying,” Aether said, and you had a feeling he wasn’t talking about the bed. “I’m staying here for you.”

You frowned. “Don’t lie to make me feel better right now. That would hurt more when you have to leave.”

Aether’s face softened impossibly. “I’m not lying. I’m telling you the truth—I’m not leaving Teyvat. Even if I find my sister, I’m staying.”

Seriously? Just like that? “What made you change your mind?”

You couldn’t tell if Aether was blushing or if it was his fever. “How could I leave Teyvat when I see how cute you look taking care of me?”

You threw a pillow to his face.

He swerved away and laughed brightly. “I’m joking! I’m joking—drop that pillow, please. I’m kidding. Well, sort of.”

His face was once again attempted to get assaulted by another pillow. Aether grinned as he blocked it off with an arm.

“For someone so sick, you seem awfully lively,” you said, eyes narrowed in suspicion.

“You breathe life into me; what can I say?”

You groaned. You couldn’t deal with this today—you needed at least three business days to process this and find another reason to reject him. Yet, as you moved to get some fresh air (anything to get Aether’s stupid face out of your view), a hand abruptly reached for your wrist.

Aether’s face was close to yours in a blink of an eye. His breath was hot on your face. “I’m serious,” he said, “so if— if you feel the same way, the least you can do is stay, too.”

“I— You—” You gaped at him. That sounded like it could be a proposal. Who would’ve thought—the Outlander, the Traveler, begging for you to stay?

Aether’s gaze flicked to your lips.

“Don’t kiss me,” you said in warning. “Are you an idiot? You’re sick!”

“That’s fine. I get to take care of you when you do,” Aether said.

Your face paled. “No! I have a job, Aether—”

Aether frowned. “And I have a world to save, but that can wait. We’re busy.”

You pushed his face away, his laugh smothered by your palm. “No, we are not. I’m busy making food for your sorry ass, away from you.”

Aether’s face crumpled. “Do you actually not want to kiss?”

Not when he’s sick and snotty, yeah.

Instead, you leaned in to kiss his forehead to make up for it. It was brief and faint, but Aether looked satisfied, smiling softly when you pulled away. It would do for now.

“I’m staying,” you said. “So long as you do, too. I’ll stay with you.”

THE SOUP TURNED OUT OKAY STILL. this is just how my mom takes care of me when im sick LOL but the idea of doing it to a sick aether was too good i had to write a fic about it. also i love angst about aether being the traveler aaghgh

thank u sm for reading. as always, lmk what u think and i hope u liked it!! <3

[enhalusional]

𝚈𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 (𝙽.𝚁𝙺)

New school always brings new beginnings. But this wasn't your beginning. It was the end.

Word count: 1.4k

Based on multiple requests.

Niki knew you were here before he even saw you. It was evident in the way his heart hammered on his chest. Whom would it beat for like this if not for you?

His existence of 19 years wasn't worth anything. He wallowed in keeping away from people. He just hated being around people. His mind was always blank, like an old television static. He felt nothing. No anger, sadness, happiness, nothing.

The you happened. The first ray of light in the pitch blackness that was his life. You had stood there in front of the class, looking around nervously as you introduced yourself.

"Hello. My name is y/n..."

His brain short-circuited. In years, he felt something. He had been so used to feeling empty that he didn't even know what this was. He had stared at your small frame. He found the baby fat on your cheeks cute. Your auburn hair reached your waist in lustrous waves. He had the urge to count small freckles across your cheekbones. And when you looked at him with your green eyes? He knew he wanted you.

Rest under the cut

That was 2 months ago. Now when you entered the class, wearing a cute little floral dress that reached just above your knee, hair tied up in two small half ponytails, he found you more beautiful than he did the previous day, the day before that and so on. You grabbed attention of every other boy in the class. He knows so many of them have a crush on you. But no one dared to approach you.

You might wonder why anytime you striked a conversation with any of them, they'd excuse themselves and run away. You would feel sad. And he would be there for you, to get your mind off of others. And moreover, he knew you only had eyes for him. Why else would you ignore all those people staring at you and plop down beside him?

"Morning, ki~" you sang.

"Morning, baby." He greeted back with a wide smile. "You look pretty."

He just called you baby nowadays. You took it as a term of his childish endearment. Though for him it wasn't one. You were best friends. Fate was working in his favor when you had sat next to him on the first day. You were the first person he had spoken to willingly. And you immediately become friends with him.

"Oh thank you..." you flip your hair.

"Did you sleep well?" He asked you.

"Eh...had to stay up late. Regression sucks." You said.

"I told you to sleep well. Study can be done anytime." He frowned.

When will you start taking care of yourself?

"Really I think I should change my study time. I hate writing exams in my dreams." You huffed.

His dreams were all you. He saw himself sleeping next to you, breathing in your perfume. Your smile right next to his. Sometimes it was cute like this. But sometimes it went much further. You under him, whining for his attention. He would tease you in the start. Until you become impatient. But you'd just look so ethereal to him that he wouldn't be able to stop himself any longer.

Someone called you and you wave at a classmate. You excuse yourself and walk over to the other side of the classroom to talk to another friend of yours. A girl obviously. He only ever allowed girls to speak to you. And that's why it was a surprise when another boy walked over to you and you spoke to him as well.

Niki narrowed his eyes. How could you look so happy speaking to a boy who wasn't him? And that boy...liked you.

For a long time, Niki had wondered and amused about his lack of emotions. So much so that he started to keep a journal about various expressions people make and what they felt at the moment just to get a better understanding of emotions. The result wasn't what he desired, but at least he could read people's eyes like an open book.

And right now, both yours and the boy's eyes were shining. The kind that he had come to associate with liking someone. Niki gripped the pen in his hands. How dare he look at you like that? How dare he make you smile like that? Poor you. That boy was trapping you in his web and you had no idea. When that boy patted your head, Niki lost it.

***************************

All he saw was red.

Red everywhere.

On the walls.

On the floor.

On his hands.

And the boy in front of him, lying in a pool of red.

Niki sat down on the chair in front of the boy. The boy was almost dead. Blood seeped from his clothes from the places where Niki had plunged a knife. Honestly, Niki had lost count of the stabs after a point. The only place left unscathed was the boy's face. Why? Just so Niki could be reminded of the face that had intrigued you so much. And because he had kept it for the last. He got up from the chair and bent down. The boy barely had his eyes open. He pulled out a blade from his pocket and pressed it onto his cheek. The boy's mouth opened in a silent scream.

"You still have a lot of energy even after I cut your tongue off." Niki clicked his tongue.

He slashed a slanting lone across his face. And repeated the same with the other side.

"Now...the best part." He muttered.

The smile he had given you earlier. Niki pressed the blade at the corner of his mouth and tore the side downwards. He did the same on the other side as well. Blood poured out of the boy's face before finally, the light in his eyes went out.

"There. Now smile."

And Niki felt a smile creeping up his own lips.

*************************

A year passed. By now, you were starting to form a crush on your best friend. You thought it was embarrassingly cliché. But you couldn't help it.

It was around the middle of the year when you were going home alone from a supermarket. And two people had followed you. You hadn't even gotten to the point of screaming before they had clamped your mouth shut and dragged you off into a dark alleyway.

But your best friend was there before anything could happen. That was the first time your heart had thumped so wildly in your chest. Watching Niki bring down a glass bottle on your perpetrators' head was too brutal for you. You couldn't recognize your friend at all. And you were scared at first when he approached you.

You had gulped and backed away from him. Until he had forced you into a hug. Without meaning to, you found yourself relaxing against him. And when he wiped your tears while comforting you, for the first time, your heart was thumping for an entirely different reason.

From then on, there was something between you two. You couldn't explain it in words. But it was palpable in the way your hugs had become frequent and longer. His hand holding your head against him and the way you fiddled with the sleeve of his clothes while talking about anything. But the tension just stayed there. Never actually leading to anything.

But what you didn't know was that Niki just didn't want to scare you off. He was just waiting for you to make the first move. His way of showing his love was mainly in the multiple murders he had committed in the past year. His way, was to make sure the screams echoed in the basement as he relished in the thrill of killing for you.

Every boy who had the audacity of making heart eyes towards you, every person who put you in danger or made you cry was gone. Over the time, he had become better at hiding it. He had found a perfect spot where he could bury the bodies without anyone suspecting him.

The missing people in the town were never found and the cases were simply closed. Because who would even check the garden of an elderly couple in their 80s who lived in a secluded house? After all, you were his. And he could and would go to any lengths to make sure you stayed his.

[kittyscupcakeandbunny]

CRAZY OVER YOU x MIN YOONGI

[HYBRID AU]

PART FOUR II

The truth untold

Side Characters: Namjoon/doctor, Seokjin/doctor, Taehyung/Hybrid Tiger, Jungkook/Bunny Hybrid, Hoseok/assistant, new character/Snake Hybrid, new character/unknown hybrid.

Warnings: Smut, mentions of blood, sharp objects, rut, beast behavior, yandere yoongi, possessive behavior, angst.

Genre: Fantasy, hybrids au, smut.

SUMMARY》 Yoongi is a black mamba hybrid one of rarest species of hybrids, who’s about to be put down due to his lack of interest in living. But everything changes after the new medical assistance (y/n) takes a liking to him. Meeting after meeting he realise his feelings for her are not the only thing growing.

< Previously Next Chapter >

____________________________________________

In the books they say black mambas have a distinct mating ritual and the males would even fight for the right to mate when a suitable female mate has been found, a common behavior among the snake hybrids we notice was that no matter the species the males would make a nest to Impress the female a sign he was ready to begin the mating ritual with her. Along the years was believed that behavior stared between hybrids since they no longer could fight for the female’s attention, so far nothing told us otherwise.

So far Yoongi has been presenting signs of heat, although I was sure of it it was all down the line once he told he in fact had no heat. Studies had shown that not all snakes hybrids had heat indeed but, it was so unusual to find one who fit in that category we never once thought Yoongi could be like one of those.

That could only mean everything we knew about him was wrong and by proceeding with a put down procedure the entire clinic could get In trouble for negligence of the hybrids care, as bad as it may be it was a good chance for making the higher ups cancel the procedure, that way Yoongi will be able to be treated the right way and live.

I couldn’t help but feel a bit of hope bloom inside me, helping on Yoongis recover as now my biggest priority even though i had grew more than just a few feelings for him through this days we seen each other i must put them aside and focus on the matter at hand. Those are the thoughts on my mind as i push him slightly away, Interrupted by the sound of my cellphone ringing.

- let me take this… - I said stoping the kiss, he looked at me with heavy eyes but didn’t let me go.

Hands still holding tightly my waist as I breathless took my phone from my pocket, clearing my throat as i see Jin’s name on the caller. He must’ve had arrived already.

- yes? - I began taking the call.

- hey yn, i arrived already, just left Yoongis room and I sanded some cleaners to fix everything it should be done by the time you’re over with his bath i think - he said, before pausing a long sight leaves his mouth - I’m sorry about it all, can we talk once you’re done?

I couldn’t stay angry at Jin for much longer, i knew better that his father must’ve had passed the order for Yoongis prescription and keeping in mind how his father the director really didn’t care if he lived or died anymore I shouldn’t have lashed out on Jin either.

- of course Jin, we should discuss some other things too - i tell him, meaning we must do something about this whole situ at hand with Yoongi.

- I’ll wait for you in my office then, see you - he said.

- see you Jin.

I turned off the call staring up at the hybrid in front of me, he had a curious look on his face still racing my back with his fingers. I took in all of him for one last time every little detail on his face feeling his warm body so close to mine before i release myself from his embrace. Walking back to the closet i get him some clean clothes setting them over the table i turned back to the hybrid.

- you should get change now, we’ll head back to your room - i tell him - Jin told me it should be back to normal by now.

- you’re always leaving me for that director - Yoongi mumbled behind me.

- what? - I turned back to him handing him the clothes.

I watched as he folded them into his own hands, never looking at me as he chooses what piece to wear first a pout forming over his lips. Ever since we meet i notice how he seemed to slowly get closer and more comfortable around me, the more i tried not to think about much of how possessive he seemed to become the more clingy he showed himself to be. I knew this wasn’t the right thing to do, by giving in this burning feeling growing inside my chest i could put him in danger a well as my career here at the clinic. I have been irresponsible this entire time but things need to change from now, my own hormones some how have disrupted this behavior on him as he said himself not long ago before we both make the choice to give in. He didn’t have a fault in all of this, after all he’s just a hybrid it is completely normal for them if they are put in such situations but, I shouldn’t have let that happen. As his doctor it is my responsibility to take care of him and I failed miserably at it, relationships with a patient are completely forbidden.

I can’t keep doing this to Yoongi anymore, i must draw the line now before is too late. Soon he will meet someone like him and probably forget about all of this between us anyway, i just need to save him.

A long sight left my lips before i turn back as h dressed himself.

- i need to discuss with Jin about he stimulants - i said, hearing the sound of clothes - that’s all.

- just that? - he said, still mumbling the words.

I could hear the pout on his lips as he said it, a small smile forming on my own lips. For the smallest second i let myself forget about all of my responsibilities, letting that feeling of warmth sink in my chest. Yoongi never wanted me with anyone else but him at the clinic i liked that, to have someone want you so desperately but that was his instincts. It was a normal behavior for them to feel protective of their partner. For them any other male presence meant a risk of losing their partner, acting out was a normal way to express that they cared.

Ever since he opened up about his feelings and my presence seemed to be getting his own hormones disrupted by mine, things were a lot more clear to me. That wasn’t him, just an instinct.

All because i failed miserably to keep my distance.

- why? - i asked him.

- it would mean I have to fight for your attention - he said, this time closer to me.

His words had a lot more meaning to it then i wanted them to, i had no doubt he meant every single one of them. Its common for snake hybrids to fight for their potential partner to mate if they are dared to by another male, Yoongi must’ve had interpreted Jin’s presence as a threat and certainly mistook my presence as a female in heat. It is much uncommon for it to happened, I myself never saw a hybrid mate with a human before it was so unrealistic too, none of my coworkers had said anything about it in all the years I’ve been working here. It really did made me believe that this was all my own fault, a hybrid mating with a human never happened before.

There was never a possibility for such thing to happened, hybrids and humans never showed any signs of attraction for each other before there was no scientifical background done above that.

Why would Yoongi even be able to sense my hormones was still something I can’t understand, it’s such an unusual possibility I can’t bearly begin to make sense of it. I couldn’t help but feel guilt about it, my presence was just like the heat stimulants for him. Nothing good comes from side effects. I can’t keep doing that to him.

- you don’t have to fight for my attention - i tell him.

He took a deep breath before walking back to me closing the distance between us, I immediately took a set back and he eyed me up and down at my sudden reaction.

- you… - he scoffed - you’re really driving me crazy.

- its not my intention, sorry.

My words had more meaning then i intended too, it was too soon but i had to begin drawing the lines between us. Now with JIn so close to his appointments especially, it will be better for him since he will soon be able to meet his potential mate partner and as much as it might bother me to stand behind those lines I shouldn’t have crossed before, i must carry on my duties as his doctor only. There is no space for love or any sort of feelings between us, our worlds are completely different from one another. This was never supposed to happen anyway.

The walk back to his room was quiet, no one dared to say a word and the space between us was thicker the the silence around us. It was almost to much to bare, having him so close yet so far away I didn’t know if he already had somehow caught on my sudden change as we walked through the long white corridors, he never said anything. I knew some time i would have to tell him this wouldn’t happen between us again but, i kept praying he would just run for the other female without saying anything. Even if it hurts, i just thought it would be better for him to carry on without me.

From time to time I would catch him smirking at me, he would look at me up and down as he walked slowly behind me, not being able to control my own heart feeling the heat rising up to my face blushing hot at his stare each time, he made sure to walk close to me the entire time sometimes bumping into me.

For the time being i would jut ignore it, until its the right time to tell him the truth and put that line between us once and for all.

Once we finally reached his floor through the elevators we made our way to his room, as we got closer i notice someone standing in front of the door to his room soon realizing from the looks it was Hoseok who stood there. He looked up at us a worried expression on his face slowly turning into an angry one as his eyes fall over Yoongis figure behind me.

- why is he not in a collar? - Hoseok spat, not giving me a chance o speak first.

- stop it - I warned him, a sight leaving my lips feeling Yoongi getting closer behind me a protective hand closing around my wrist.

- you’ve been walking around with him like this, without a collar? - he said, a baffled chuckle leaving his lips - after all that happened this morning!?

- yes and he didn’t bite anyone - I tell him, bitting my lip angrily - honestly Hoseok I’m tired of you all misinterpret him.

- now you’re defending him?! - he spat, walking closer to me making Yoongi quickly push me back and taking the front standing between me and Hoseok.

Both males stared down at each other, the sight made me feel a mixture of anxiety and guilty. Knowing Yoongi was only acting out of instinct because he misunderstood completely our feelings, this was just another reminder of why i should’ve been drawing the lines between us.

- I don’t have time for this, I need to talk with Jin about this whole situation - I quickly interrupted, getting myself between both of them i took Yoongis arm into my hand.

- I’ll go with you then - Hoseok said, resting over the wall beside the door.

This wasn’t exactly how I wanted to clear things out with Jin about Yoongi, it was personal and I didn’t wanted to have Hoseok knowing anything especially with his sudden attitude now. Seeing as he wouldn’t move anytime soon i only sighted taking Yoongi back to his room, i closed the door behind us once we were inside alone. Taking a quick look around the room seeing as everything was indeed cleaned up and fixed, the bed in the center as usual and neatly done as well as the small table beside and the only closet in the corner.

He would be able to make a new nest now and rest knowing no more meds would have such drastic effect over him again, i saw how he looked around probably already thinking about it as well.

Any signs from earlier events were all cleaned and I could only sight in relief quickly making my way to the closets over the right wall getting a few more covers from it and putting over the bed, feeling the sharp eyes of the snake hybrid over me as i moved around the room once i though it was enough for him i turned back to him who stood close by the bed watching with curious dark eyes.

- i thought you might want this, for a new nest - I tell him.

I don’t know what about this sentence that makes him blush so hard, he looks so adorable like that. I take in a mental picture of this look, soon i won’t be seeing him like that anymore but i shake off any bitter feelings from it. Treasuring this small moment, he mumbles a “thank you” and i begin to make my way out.

- I’ll be back later - I tel him before leaving.

Not looking back as i did so, the door felt heavier then it ever did. After everything that happened I couldn’t hold back the switch i felt once i made the decision, like that line was already drawn between us and he just didn’t know yet.

I took a deep breath after closing it completely, Hoseok presence beside me was a heavy cold bucket of water. I couldn’t blame him for his reaction, everyone seemed to be a little sensitive lately especially since all the events this morning. Safety protocols exist for a reason and as much as i hated to admit, it was wrong of me for taking Yoongi out without a collar on I shouldn’t have risked more even, essa especially when it had not been too long since he was acting that way.

- shall we? - he said, impatiently.

I only nodded letting him lead the way, guilty was weighing over me more then it ever did.

I knew Hoseok wasn’t happy with my decisions lately, he always been a brother to me and deep down he was just worried for me. I wasn’t exactly the smarted when it came to helping the hybrids, no matter how aggressive they would get i would always make sure to get the job done. There was not a single hybrid I treated that was continuously aggressive once i treated them, it is not their fault to act that way, after all, most of the times they are acting out of fear of getting hurt. Most doctors here don’t even try to get close to them when they are in such state, but I didn’t really liked letting the security handle them whenever those things happened. Just like the tiger hybrid was brought here, I made the mistake of using a small dose of tranquilizer and got hurt. Things like that can happen to any one here, that was why I always took charge of them. Deep down i knew i was part of the small portion of people here who truly wasn’t afraid of them.

Things can get ugly at any time, i wanted Hoseok to know that and stop being so angry about it with me because of it. He always seemed to think of me as a weak person, i got hurt and went back to work that’s how it always had been but lately he just seemed to be over reacting every time.

By the time we got in Jin’s office, the tension between us was thick enough to be cut in the middle with a knife as we both sat quietly in front of seokjins desk, the three of us only stared at each other for a couple of minutes after we got here no one even said a word.

Knowing Jin he was probably trying to figure out what had happened in the meantime for us to be in such situation, his eyes going back and forth between us. Hoseok was ready to set everything over the table, from the way he was heavily breathing beside me i could tell he was still angry at me.

- well… - Jin began, cleaning his throat.

- should i start? - i said, feeling the man beside me burn even more.

- please do - Hoseok spat, turning to me with anger over his eyes.

I swallowed hard, I’ve never been under this stare of his. It definitely pained me more then i wished it did. I took a deep breath before I start.

- I understand Yoongis behavior this morning was not one of the bests…. - I said, making Hoseok scoff beside me.

- yes, we talked over the phone about it for a bit - Jin commented.

- and we came to the conclusion that, such dose of heat stimulants could have side effects… - I said - after talking with Yoongi it was clear to me that this dose everyday was making him sick to the point he was so uncomfortable it made him lose control today.

- I understand - Jin said - I already made a few calls and since you commented before he’s been giving signs of heat they called off completely the meds.

At the mention of his heat Yoongis words went through my mind again, his sudden confession for not heaving a heat was something we had to discuss now. It might also be the cause to his side effects from taking the heat stimulants, when hybrids used to be put under the drugs they should give signs of heat as soon as they take the first dose but Yoongi only started to give signs lately under a big dose. All could only tell he wasn’t being affected even the slightest bit positive by the drugs because there was no heat happening to begin with, which could only resolve in a bad side effect.

- he’s not in heat - I stated, finally bringing a surprise reaction from Jin.

- what? - Jin nervously asked, a chuckle leaving his lips as if not believing me.

- i talked to him about it today, he told me he doesn’t go into heat - I explain - from what I can tell, he only mates to reproduce but we should take new exams to make sure.

There is a moment of silence between us three, Jin seems to be deep in thought probably going over everything to make a conclusion out of this. As much as it could help Yoongis situation, him not having heat meant more exams would have to be taking on him which would only trouble the procedures for his mating and we would need the directors approval first. He could state it is not necessary and we wouldn’t be able to do anything and Yoongi would still have to be put under the drugs again, if Jin convince his father we might be able to save him.

The information he gave us would be crucial to stop his put down, even thought it was just a hybrids heat cycle it would meant the director wouldn’t have much choice but proceed with new exams and procedures for Yoongi and depending on his results he wouldn’t have to be put down anymore.

I felt hope growing inside my chest at the thought of it

- I know you’re thinking what I’m thinking Jin - i tell him, immediately capturing his attention. There was a small smile over his lips as he looked over me.

- I’ll talk with the director and get the permission immediately - he said - it’ll take some time and we must take the exams first, by the time he has to meet the female snake we should have it all settle though.

- wait - Hoseok interrupted - so what does all of his weird behaviors come from?

- probably side effects of the drug hes been taking - i said, keeping short Hoseok wasn’t from the same unit as me things like this were unusual for him - hell be clean from it by Monday.

- yes….- Jin sighted - I understand my mistake and it seems y/n has a way with him no one here does so, I trust you to keep taking good care of him.

- as long as she fallows the protocols - Hoseok said.

- what is this about now? - Jin asked.

- I took him to bath and brought him back without a collar - I said honestly.

- y/n…. You’ll give me grey hairs - Jin said holding his temple - please fallow the protocols, i understand but…

- I will, sorry -I tell him - can we talk alone for a moment Jin?

- oh, yes - Jin looks over to me - what is it?

I wait until Hoseok leaves before i tuner my focus back to Jin, the time until were finally alone i kept thinking and rethinking how to even begin with all of this.

- so what is it y/n, you seem a bit worried? - Jin said, getting up from his seat in front of me to take the one were Hoseok sat before.

- It’s just, this whole situation with Yoongi and what he told me about not having a heat - i began - I can’t help but think that, everything we knew about him was wrong and by proceeding with this procedure the entire clinic could get in trouble for negligence of the hybrids care.

- I know, i was thinking about this too - he said - to be honest with you y/n i notice that after reading his old documents, Yoongi has been indeed been mistreated.

His words immediately stole my breath away. This was much more then i thought it was, it made me question more and more if all this time his behavior wasn’t just an act of rebellion on the clinic but rather tiredness and anger from being treated wrongly this whole time. While everyone thought of him as an asshole, he only acted that way because people have been unfair towards him. That made my blood boil.

- It’s been that way since he was brought here - Jin stated, a sight leaving his lips - i only recently found out about it, not much exams were taken of him for his well being but for scientific purposes. They’ve been testing on him for years until he became… well the hybrid we know now.

- Jin… - I helpless said - what are you telling me now?

- You know exactly what I’m saying…. - i could see his eyes shining like never before - trust me, no one hates this more then me right now.

He had tears older his eyes before he quickly got up and walk back to his desk, Jin hated to be seen like that and it took me a few seconds to realize the meaning under his sudden confession.

They don’t intend to save Yoongi no matter what, its all a set up to hide what they have been doing all this years to him.

- i wont give up that easily - i stated to him - tell your father i said that.

- I won’t either y/n - he said, i could see the determination under his features and that encouraged me even more.

- lets get things right with Yoongi first, before his meeting with the female hybrid - i tell him.

- I’ll take care of it immediately y/n, I’m running a few call already things should start soon.

- ok.

I got up from the seat and made my way to leave.

I could bearly begin to digest all the information that Jin just told me, I couldn’t believe such thing was happening right under my nose at the clinic. All of those years he’s been enduring god knows how many testes done to him without his consent, the more I thought about the more i began to think that maybe the guy he bit that time deserved all of it.

His behavior started to make more sense to me, this whole time he was in defensive mode, even with me. Just like the tiger hybrid i treated that day, Yoongi was also been through so much and he never had a chance to stop it.

I couldn’t help but think about his words, “please, tell me you’re not one of them”. At that time it didn’t made much sense to me but now, feeling this heavy weight on my chest the burning sensation under my eyes.

By the time i left Jin’s office i was bitting into my lip to hold my sobs from leaving my mouth, once i was inside the elevator i could bearly hold it back. It just pained me so much to know it, how hurt he must been all of this years all alone. No one knew it and the ones who did knew never said anything, not did they ever tried to help him.

I didn’t know what to do with all of this information, i just knew that now more then ever i wanted to be with him. After all of this time i was the only one Yoongi didn’t felt threatened by and finally i could understand what he meant all this time, before i could clear things out with him i had to pull myself together. There was more to do then i thought, I don’t have time to cry now i had to save him. I never leave any patient behind, I won’t leave him too.

Feeling the anger dripping out my skin I began to hate even the walls of the clinic and everyone here, anger boiling over me at Jin’s father for allowing all of this to happen and then just try to cover it all with all this stupid procedure but still force him to mate just to keep doing those experiments with another hybrid, i doubt they would wait for the hybrid to even grow up before they begin.

When the door of the elevator opened I made my way through the corridor without a single thought in mind, soon stoping in front of the door i put on the code to get in.

My body is hit by the hot temperature wave of his room already used to it by know, my hands are shaking by my sides once I see him already in his bed. I could tell from the looks over the messy bed he had already done a nest on it, sitting down over the mess of covers he looks up to me as i make my way towards him not wasting a second. He had a smile over his soft features but, quickly turning into a confused expression once he took in how i looked.

I don’t blame him, my face probably looked much puffier now since I’ve been crying on the elevators till i got here. I felt sick of it all, just for that moment i wanted to be just us not a doctor and a patient. Not a hybrid and a human. Just us.

Without thinking twice i took his hand in mine pulling him up as i close my arms around his neck, bitting into my lower lip to hold more tears from falling as i take in his smell.

How could they do this to him?

- what happened y/n? - he softly asked into my neck, arms closing around me just as strong as i held into him.

- I’m not one of them - i mumbled - I’m not like them…

As the words spilled from my mouth i held him tighter on my arms, noticing how his whole body went stiff realizing i knew everything. He tried to lean back but i only held him tighter, i couldn’t look into his face now i would only brake into tears if i did so, not being able to see anything but all the things they might have done to him.

He didn’t push me away after that, we kept ourselves like that for a while until he moved slightly away but I didn’t look into his face yet keeping my eyes over his exposed collar bones.

- you know…. - he began - y/n, please don’t cry I’m fine now.

- no… don’t say that - I murmured - Yoongi they’ll…

I stoped immediately from continuing, I didn’t know if now was the best moment to tell him the truth for all of this. I could bearly even say it out loud what would happen to him.

- what did they to you?

My voice was bearly a whisper, i couldn’t take that thought out of my mind. Why would they do such thing to him?

For another moment we didn’t spoke any words, he held me against him as he began to walk backwards till he reached to bed pulling myself with him as he sat down over it keeping me on his lap as his hands traced my back.

- it doesn’t matter what they did to me y/n…. - he whispered, hand holding my chin up to meet his face - i have you now, its more then I could ever ask for.

- dont say that… I’m not what you need - i tell him.

- but i want you - he said, his words sanding a chill down my spine - you should know that.

I wanted to tell him he was wrong, the was just the hormones speaking. That he needed was in fact the female hybrid and not me, a mare human. Another reason for us to not be together like this anymore, but just for today i allowed myself to be selfish again for just one more time I’ll stay in his arms.

[…]

Things didn’t got much brighter after that. I wished they did but it wasn’t that easy, Jin has been in a meeting with his father over the phone the entire morning to discuss about Yoongis future. He only told me he would be busy with that before the meeting started to inform me that he wouldn’t be able to participate in todays procedures with Yoongi, things were not exactly easy since his father was the one behind everything. Much later i found out Jin left the clinic to talk personally with his father, i began to worry even more about it.

I tried not to let show as i continued to work, when i left Yoongis room after barging in crying i had set in my mind that i would do everything to save him. If i have to give up on us to save him, i will. If someone mistreat him again I’ll put them on their place immediately, this is supposed to be a clinic to save and help hybrids recover not some crazy lab to experiment on those pure beings. They have been through enough already.

Since Namjoon was in charge of the treatment of the female hybrid i was the one in charge of checking their new room were they would be able to meet for the first time and began the mating process, as every hybrid have their own unique traits a separate space is created to accommodate their needs during matings to ensure a safe environment for both as they go through an important transition with their partner.

We had a few hybrids already in mating process, rehabilitation sometimes take longer for them and we cannot put them immediately into mating process as that can also make it harder for them to chose a partner. Our first priority is their safety and well being no matter what.

With Yoongis case I didn’t felt any different in that matter and the fact that this entire procedure to make him mate in the hopes that the clinic can keep his specie alive made me sick, if he was sick it would been a complete different scenario but since his healthy and the only side effect is his skin condition it doesn’t sit right with me to carry on this assignment, knowing the entire truth about the director and the things the clinic made him go through all this years kept making my stomach turn back and forth. I felt more inclined to save him even more now, no matter what.

The seventh floor was were the mating rooms were at, once i got there I quickly made my way towards the room assigned for Yoongi. The identification for it was YK10391Q, looking over the identifications on each door as i walked down the long white corridor it was separated by alphabetical order and his was on the few last ones. Every room had a separate entrance to a small room beside theirs were we usually stay to make sure the hybrids are well while they mate, everything is monitored by a medical team and the hybrids doctor on the first days before they began mating in case any problems occur. Anything can happen while they are alone there, in the past cases a few hybrids got a bit overwhelmed and ended up hurting their mate pretty badly and had to be quickly separated. They are given the privacy needed for their mating process but we always ensure everything is safe for them to enjoy such precious moment together. Nobody watches them but if something happens we must be there to assist them.

Yoongis room wasn’t much different from his right now, the temperature was high enough to make them comfortable and the lights were not as bright since their vision is very sensitive. There was a round bed in a corner covered with white heavy covers, on the other side close to it was a small bath tub still being installed.

- miss. Yn - said a male voice behind me.

I quickly turned noticing a man with a few papers in hand entering the room, he wore a yellow cap and by his uniform he must the one in charge of the design of the the room.

- hello sir.

- are you here to check the room of the patient doctor? - he asked.

- yes, are you the one in charge?

- I’m doctor, is everything to your liking? - he said while making his way towards the bathtub.

I took another glance around.

- the temperature is good as well as the lights here but, it’ll need more covers on the bed for a nest and could change the sheets for some silk, he has very sensitive skin it could be a little irritating for him - i said watching the man take a few notes.

- that wont be a problem miss, something else?

- ah yes, this bathtub how is going to be?

- just simple with a system for hot water and there will be put a small water fall in that corner as well as some lavender plants around, doctor Namjoon requested for the female since it helps her calm down.

- that’s good then - i tell him - for now that’s all i have in mind, when will it be done?

- it should be all done by today.

- okay, thank you.

With that i left the room.

We would be able to move Yoongi to the mating room today then, that was good since his mating would began on Monday. With him being able to be in his new room before anything we could still rearrange anything he might need.

Checking the clock on the elevator as i made my way to the first floor, seeing as i still had time before Yoongis lunch so i made the decision to check my patients before. Some normal and non eventful duties to clear my mind now is what i needed to get back in track.

I decided to check back on the tiger hybrid from yesterday, it hasn’t been a long time since i saw him so i should check his exams before making anymore procedures with him.

I took his files from the exam room noticing a few people were there a the moment, I complimented them before taking the files i needed and leaving for the hybrids room.

[…]

Yoongi - POV

I could still smell her scent on my clothes, ever since she left to continue her duties at the clinic after telling me she now knew everything. Part of me wished she didn’t know that, another small part of me was happy someone finally knew what they did to me and the fact that it was her brought some comfort to me but at the same time I couldn’t help but wonder if behind all of that she just pitted me.

No one has ever been this kind and understanding of me my whole existence, i was put on testes ever since I learned how to walk. They would take pieces of my skin, draw blood of me all the damn time. Not to mention the pain every time they tied me up in that bed to use chemicals on me, trying to test my scale’s capabilities of endurance, regeneration and so on. It became so much i could bearly eat anymore, it hasn’t been much long since they had finally stoped those tests.

Things felt different ever since these two new doctors began treating me, i never had a female doctor before. Never new why. She was the first one to treat me and I couldn’t help but feel embraced by her presence every time she comes in.

I had always hated the males in this clinic, they never showed me kindness even when i was a child. I wondered if all this time I wasn’t assigned a famele doctor on purpose, just to be mistreated by those men on purpose.

For all those years i had been in survival mode, leaning to adapt to stay alive but things seemed to have changed since yn came here. These two were not treating me for no reason, after being left alone to rot in here for so long their sudden appearance was not goin g unnoticed by me. I knew that she was hidden something from me, but Yn wasn’t like the other she would tell me when the time is right. I know she will.

Looking up at the dark ceiling of my room feeling the warm temperature surrounding me softly, touching my body through the silk. My skin felt so much better now with yn baths, for a long time i had simply given up on my shadding but I couldn’t do that anymore.

I had to look good for her, it was a given how fast i could heal my body. No one knew about that, even after all the tests they had put me under i still manage to hide everything about me from them. There was still a few things i had to hide from yn as well, i dont know how much longer i can keep this up though.

No wonder all those males doctors are always surrounding her all the damn time, her scent seemed to be all over the room even after she left. It continued to drive me completely insane, I wondered for how much longer will i have to keep this up with all the mating process she wants me to go through before i can finally take her.

I have a feeling those males she calls friends are trying to test my patience, not only do i have to worry about them but her other patients. That bunny was really asking to be eaten alive when he scented her, the more I thought about such thing happening the more anger boiled over me.

Did she liked that? How was he touching her? Is that the kind of hybrid she likes?

How dare her test me like this, i could feel my entire body vibrates with rage again. But quickly brushed off the best i could. I was lucky about the heat stimulants the first time, if i lash out again today i dont know how ill be able to get myself out of it again.

I hated to lie to her but, since she was also hiding things from me it was only fair.

Spreading myself over the soft surface of my new nest i let the warm temperature embrace by body comforting me into a deep thought.

- y/n…

Her name left my lips like honey, i could stil taste her from this morning.

It didn’t seem to be the right choice to mate with her but, after spending time with her and being around her I didn’t care if it wasn’t right anymore whenever I was with her every cell in my body called for her. After tasting her I knew she was ready for me, her scent was dripping from every inch on her skin a silent call for me to be with her only I could sense it.

She’s been considerate enough to get more covers four nest, I couldn’t believe when she did that. No one has ever asked for me to make a nest before, y/n was the one I wanted my mind wouldn’t change about that.

I needed her so desperately, I can’t take anymore crumbs from her. I need to feel her skin completely, every centimeter of her same beautiful body against mine. Her soft breaths as she can bearly hold heel self form the pleasure.

Spreading my arms above my head as the image of her beautiful face filled my mind, the ghost of her fingers around my neck were enough to make me go insane.

Even the silk covering my skin was unbearable in that moment, a feeling of numbness in my mind as her scent kept filling my lunges. I bite into my bottom lip tasting my own poison as I harshly ripped open my shirt, not being able to even control my movements any longer. Lifting it up to my nose to feel her scent better, it was so sweet i wanted to cry.

Hips moving up and down the more i thought about her body against mine this morning, how breathless she was under my touch, how delicate her skin feels.

I let that thought drive me completely out of my sanity in that dark room again.

[…]

Y/n - POV

By the time I was done checking on Jungkook the bunny hybrid again, i was restlessly making my way to the kitchen to get Yoongis meal. Jin didn’t call me but sanded a massage instead telling me to carry on the assignments without him. Nothing else, no words were needed anyway. I knew he was still talking with his father trying his best to convince him about Yoongi, i sighted watchim his food being prepared this was taking much longer then I thought it would. I just hope he gets in his father head to make the right decision for Yoongi, after all those years he deserves to be treated the right way.

I thanked the lady after she hands me the silver tray with Yoongis food, quickly making my way to his floor. I notice this time the food wasn’t just fruits but some nicely cut kimbab, the fact that they starved him all this years was a pinch to my heart. But now things will slowly start to go back to their right way, usually all the hybrids eat together at the cafeteria with a few exceptions for especial cases as we always ensure their safety and let them socialize with each other which is just as important for them. You can’t just lock them up in their rooms till they are fully recovered.

As i watched the numbers on the elevator go up i felt my phone vibrating in my pocket and carefully reach for it with one hand, seeing a massage from one of my colleagues informing that Yoongis mating room was all set. A sight of relief left my lips, thankfully I’ll be able to set Yoongi on his room before Monday. Since tomorrow is my rest day i won’t be working and will only be at the clinic Monday, the fact that I’ll be able to take him to his room brought some comfort to my mind. I didn’t wanted anything to happen while I wasn’t here and knowing Yoongi didn’t felt comfortable around the other doctor was not a thought that brought a pleasant feeling at all. Especially now that I know more about what happened to him, i felt even more protective of him. Not knowing if they would care for him nicely or continue to mistreat him.

Once the door of the elevator opened at his floor I quickly made my way through the long corridor toward his room, i had so much going on in my mind I didn’t know where to start with it. I knew i wanted to do but if Jin’s father don’t agree with us i could lose Yoongi forever, that thought was not the most pleasant to bear. I didn’t know what i was capable of doing if that ever happen, it didn’t help my nerves how Jin hasn’t returned any of my calls or massages.

For now i must carry on with Yoongis appointment as if nothing happened, until i can tell him the truth. He’s aware of the fact that i know what happened to him at the clinic, trying to carry on now as if I didn’t know or nothing happen was not what i wanted too.

With a long sight i opened the door to his room, ready to continue with this till the end whatever it might take to save him.

As the door closed behind me i waited until all the lights of the room were back on, felling the hot temperature of the room immediately embrace my entire body cold from the air outside. Walking closer to his bed were seeing as he was laying down upon noticing my presence he slowly lifted his upper body up.

Dark eyes staring into mine tiredly, almost immediately making my heart skip a beat.

I stared at him confused seeing his shirt ripped open on his body, exposing his chest completely as he just looked up at me with dark glossy eyes. I never saw such look on his face before, his eyes never looked so dark that his entire pupil was almost covering his entire eye, his chest moved up and down fast, sweat dripping down from his neck the ends of his hair wet from it.

I carefully placed the tray on the table over the side before quickly making my way towards the small cabinet on the right. Taking a new shirt and a towel with me stoping beside him, he slowly sits up completely as i begin to dry some of the sweat on his neck.

- did something happened, you look… bad? - i ask him carefully, worry filling every muscle in my body.

- I’m fine… - he mumbles, taking the towel from my hands to dry his face.

- are you sure?

- yes, y/n - he said, turning towards me as he takes of the shirt to replace for the new one i had in my hands - its just hot… can i have some water?

- oh, of course - I quickly got up to take the cup with water on his tray, turning around back to give him it.

He drank the water in big gulps, chest moving up and down faster as he finish it holding the glass over his knee as he looked down. I notice his eyes were slowly going back, still dark like a night sky but not like before. I sit back beside him, taking the glass from his hand to put it on the floor as I watched his motions. He looked exhausted as if he had run a marathon, i wondered what might have happened while i was gone.

I didn’t like to see him like this, i knew it was time for me to began setting boundaries and lines between us but, when i saw him like that i couldn’t help how i felt.

- hey… Yoongi - I carefully brushed a strand of hair out his face, gasping as he suddenly leaned down over my shoulder resting his face on my neck.

- you smell so good today… - he groaned over my skin, one arm closing above my legs as he leaned more against me.

I immediately went under panicking, there was a moment to draw a line. Set some boundaries Y/n.

- i brought you some food - I quickly changed the topic, taking his arm from around my waist as i got up.

Cleaning my throat while i take the tray with food with me, sitting back beside him this time i put the tray between us to create some space. I noticed how he looked at it for a moment then back up at me.

- you can’t eat only fruits for the rest of your life - i tell him - so, to start small and simple some kimbab. It’s really good and healthy, its made with vegetables and some tuna rolled up on rice. Here try some, eat slowly so you dont get an upset stomach.

I held one roll up for him to take it, he carefully holds before his nose smelling it before he takes a small bit of it a few pieces falling over his chest in the process.

- oh, no… - I chuckled slightly at his face once he realizes the mess he made - you’re like a kid eating.

Out of habit i took a napkin quickly cleaning the new shirt i gave him from the sauce it dripping on it, leaning closer to him as i cleaned his chin. He watched me quietly, not moving an inch until i lean back clearing my throat.

- so do you like it? - i ask him, swallowing the nervousness back inside.

He just takes another roll and put the entire thing on his mouth, looking at the food between us. Redness rising over his checks as i looked at him astonished.

He never looked so nervous before, what it is happening right now?

Confused i filled another cup with water for him handing it towards him as he took it sill not looking my way, he swallowed the food before taking a big gulp of water.

- sorry… - he said, looking up at me - I’m just… feeling bit hungry now.

- oh - the sound came out of my lips more surprised then I intended to - well eat more then but, slowly this time.

He just nodded before taking another roll and biting into it. For a long moment he just eat slowly and quietly, our eyes would meet from time to time whenever he wanted more water.

- you’re not… - he said after some time - you won’t ask about what happened earlier?

- well, i know enough… to be honest Yoongi, i dont want to make you go through all of that again just to tell me.

He nodded. I took the tray from the bed putting it over the table, we still had som time before i have to go home.

- right, your knew room is ready - i tell him, turning back to him noticing he sat in a more comfortable way resting on his arms.

- knew room?

- all hybrids are put in a special room for the mating process - I explained.

- oh, right… that thing - his face seemed to darkened as he realized what i was talking about.

- we still have some time so i would like to take you there today - i tell him.

- does it have to be today?

- yes, I’m not… i dont work at the clinic tomorrow.

- you dont?

- no Sunday is my rest day, I wasn’t even supposed to be working this afternoon.

- oh, sorry for making you work more.

- this is nothing, - i tell him - besides i like being with you.

- you do?

I nodded giving him a small smile. He gave me another smile in return, looking more relaxed now.

After everything that happened this morning I knew better then to overstep the protocols again with Yoongi, since he didn’t have a good history I assumed he was put on Red code for his attacks although I knew he didn’t meant to hurt anyone he would still have to be put on a collar before going out. On a small compartment beside the hybrids door its their collar for when is needed, all red coded hybrids had it, quickly making my way there typing the code to open the compartment i took the small metal collar. Turning back to him as he slowly walked to me.

- lets go see your new room?

- i dont have much of a choice do i? - he mumbles once he stood in front of me.

His mention brought a sense of discomfort to me, he didn’t have any. And i hated that more then he could imagine.

- sorry…

I looked up at him, his sudden apology bringing my attention back to him as i closed the collar around his neck.

- dont be, you’re right…. - i sighted - i won’t let them hurt you anymore Yoongi. Know that.

I wanted to make sure he knew that. After all I was here to save him, the reason why I chose to be a hybrids doctor was to help this new specie that fell misunderstood by so many when it wasn’t even their fault.

Knowing Yoongis past made me feel uneasy, not for him but now I felt even more pressure to make sure he’s well. Just the thought of being like one of those people from his past that mistreated him so badly made me sick to my stomach.

In just a few days Yoongi managed to completely steal my heart for him, ever since I meet him I’ve been trying my best to ignore those feelings growing inside of my chest. But the closer we got to each other the more I couldn’t let go of him, today wasn’t any different.

- let’s go see your room then - I breathed out.

He gave me a small smile before I opened the door for us to leave. I didn’t felt comfortable having to put him in a collar again, everything just felt so unfair ever since Jin told me about his past in the clinic. I felt like I should be even more careful with him now.

My entire career was dedicated to help hybrids who have been mistreated and unwell, I knew that even though he seemed fine on the outside he must’ve not feel the same on the inside.

He walked close to me as we made our way down the hall towards the elevators, no one said a words as we walked letting the comfortable silence fill the air around us. I notice how we were the only ones on this floor for that moment, but weekends are usual like this and if no special call are made for rescued hybrids the whole day goes by calmly.

I was grateful for days like this at work, it meant the hybrids were well and that was all I wanted for them.

It didn’t took much longer for the doors to the elevators to opened to the seventh floor, I walked out being fallowed by Yoongi who grabbed the back of my coat as we made our way through the long corridor till his own room.

I swallowed nervously, every hour that went through was a clear reminder that my time with him was going to end. I know I needed to set the line between us and stop this before it gets out of hand, it was hard enough already and Yoongi didn’t make it any easier to me.

Now that all was left was a day before he meets the female snake hybrid, I felt even more uneasy knowing he will soon be with someone who’s just like him and can fulfill his needs better.

There is reason why hybrids and humans didn’t work out together and why there has never been a single case like this happening, hybrids can only mate with other hybrids even though they are half humans. We can’t sustain a connection with their hormones to reproduce, for that reason, they don’t feel attracted to us at all.

I couldn’t understand how Yoongi could tell I was ovulating or how that seemed to wake something on him but, it happened. I could already feel the heat growing on my checks the more I thought about. Was I so hot and bother by his male presence that I lost a bit of control?

Shaking this thoughts away as we finally stopped in front of the door to his new room, i quickly typed his code on the digital panel on the wall. Making my way inside the room as the door opened for us, the room now had the same light effect from his old one.

I closed the door behind us as the lights slowly began to turn up above us, it would stay turned off like he was used to but slightly shining on a more warm low tone to make the room more cozy for them.

I watched as he slowly began to walk around the room inspecting every corner of it, he first walked towards the bathtub on the right corner occupying almost the entire wall as a small water fall with lavender flowers and some blue ivy’s surrounded them, a bit of steam flowing up from the water as it continued to fill up indicating it was warm.

He then made his way towards the bed on the other side, checking the extra covers on it with his fingers.

This room wasn’t as big as his other one, but it was made sure that the bed was spacious enough for them as well as the bathtub I see now. I knew for a fact he would love that for sure.

- what do you think? - I ask him, making my way towards him - is there anything you don’t like? We can change it up for you.

- it’s… nice - he murmured, turned back to me.

- that’s good to hear - I tell him - if you feel like you might need something more, just tell me and I’ll get it ready for you.

- can I get you here? - he took another step in my way closing the distance between us.

- that’s not… I mean-

- you said anything? - he interrupted, turning his head slightly to the side furring his eyebrows as he stared at me with those dark orbs.

- I meant for the room, the… you know - I couldn’t form a single straight word as I kept looking into his eyes, heat washing up on my checks the more hi stared and a smirk lift his lips up.

He chuckled leaning towards me, making me immediately hold my breath. His eyes locked with mine as he held my chin between his fingers, thumb slightly brushing over my bottom lip.

I was once again completely under his spell, it was almost unfair how easily he could have me wrap around his finger with only a few touches and sweet nothings. For a hybrid he sure knew how to lure humans into him, but to say he was not attractive would be a lie.

Yoongi was without a doubt the most beautiful being I’ve ever seen in my life, it didn’t took a genius to see his beauty was something completely different then anything in this world, he looked dreamy in every way. Like the ocean beautiful and filled with mysteries.

Almost human looking if not for his beautiful scales over his neck that shined a mix of white and lilac like a pearl. Almost unnoticeable at how softly they were on his body, shining so beautifully under the lights making him look even more unreal. Some would think a black mamba snake hybrid shouldn’t look like this, Yoongi sure was one of the rarest specie we had in our clinic. Black mambas aren’t truly colored black as many would think, the animal name comes from the black colored inside of their mouths and eyes and their body is of a grayish color. You could tell the similarities on him from his eyes, black like the night sky and the soft gray of his scales that only shined a upon light. Yoongi had no warm tone on his body, were his skin wasn’t covered in grayish scales he was so pale some would think he was sick but that was just another thing that made him even more special.

I stoped him from leaning in more with my hand over his chest feeling how his breathing has quickened as it moved up and down under my hand, swallowing nervously as i looked up into his eyes. His expression didn’t change a bit at my movements, he licked his bottom lip before turning his head slightly to the other side bring his hand up to cover mine on his chest pushing down against him and stoping over his hip.

- let me bite you again - he said in a whisper immediately stealing my breath away.

- what?

- please… i don’t think i can do this anymore y/n - he murmured, as if he was in pain.

Before i could say anything he pulled me against his body complete with his other arm, circling around my waist burying his face on my neck a gasp leaves my lips as i feel his hand sliding up my back under my coat stoping at the back of my neck.

My own hands holding him by the arms trying to put some distance between us but failing completely, i tried again at the feeling of his fangs over the skin of my neck brushing over it every so slightly.

- please… i wont hurt you i promise - he whispered above my ear lips brushing against it.

- i don’t… i - no words would come out of my mind to make any sense of this.

The more I felt his hands all over me again, the more my body seemed to gave in his words. Every inch of skin he traced with his fingers left a path of heat on my skin that spread all over me, i could feel any sense i had left my mind the more he held me. Any ounce of regret completely washing out of me as his fangs danced over my neck right over where he bit me before.

I was ready to give in closing my arms around his neck as he did the same, holding me tightly burying his head deeper in my neck ready to leave another mark on it.

My body burned in anticipation but, all that heat was abruptly cooled down the second i heard the door opened and steps towards us.

As if an instinct I immediately pushed Yoongi away making him fall over the bed and he looked at me almost angrily, i gave him an apoplectic look before turning to the source who interrupted us so suddenly and I immediately felt my body froze at the sight of Jin right there.

- sorry, did I surprise you? - he asked confused.

- ah…yeah a little bit - i mumbled, swallowing nervously.

- well, my apologies if I interrupted your sentimental hug i need to talk with you y/n - he said, now sounding more serious.

- of, course - i turned to Yoongi who now seemed to be even more angry - if you need anything there is a button on the panel beside the door if you push it, it will immediately be directed to the service desk you can call for me or request anything you might need.

- yeah, whatever… - he mumbled not looking at me as he got up, walking past me towards the bathtub.

I just nodded and turned to Jin giving him a small smile as we made our way out of the room, i was thankful once again for Jin if he didn’t show up god knows were i would have end up in that room with him. Shit, he didn’t see anything right?

A sight left my lips once we were out of the room in the long white corridor of the seventh floor, i knew i had to get a hold of my emotions but gosh how difficult did Yoongi had to make things for me. How many times will he put me in such situations? Thankfully we were just holding each other and Jin only took it as a hug, i need to stop this before it gets too much Yoongi clearly told me today he won’t hold himself for much longer. I shouldn’t be alone with him anymore, that way he wont act out and i wont have to fail again to stop him. Clearly he knew how weak i was with him and would only make things more difficult to me.

Jin turned suddenly to me, a serious look over his features. Once the door closed beside us he looked up to my eyes, i never once saw him this serious and it was not very assuring to see him like this. I could tell he was tired, the conversation with his father took so long it must have been a hell for him.

- Jin?

- y/n… - he gave me a small smile.

All about his looks we’re telling me something was off, knowing how long it took for him to come back with an answer from his father about Yoongi and how difficult it has been ever since we stared with his treatment, this could only mean it didn’t work.

I could already feel the burning behind my eyes the more I stared at Jin as he stood in front of me, as if the entire world was coming crashing over me.

- Yoongis case…. - he began, eyes staring down at the floor - his case was passed entirely to me, I’ll be the one in charge of him from now on.

- Jin…

Just like that as my brain begins to understand his words completely, I felt like I could finally breath again.

I couldn’t believe his words, by Yoongi being passed to Jin completely he would be able to take care of him without any questions. I immediately pulled him for a hug, hearing his chuckle on my neck as he hugged me back just as tightly.

- you almost got me! - i said, pulling out to look at his face - how did you get it?

- to be honest with you, he was very reluctant at first but if it wasn’t for… - he paused, looking at both sides of the corridor before leaning closer to whisper - his new addition.

- what do you mean?

- a new snake hybrid was assigned to the clinic - he simply said, eyes shining over mine.

Another snake hybrid? I didn’t know if I should be happy for it being the reason Yoongi was released from Jin’s father or worried, he might end like Yoongi.

- what? - I asked, releasing Jin from my arms - so far it was almost impossible to get them?

Truth be told, snake hybrids were the rarest kind to be found. That was the reason Jin’s father was so set on making him mate just to continue his specie.

Jin leaned on the wall a knowing smirk on his full lips as he looked at me, putting his hands on his pockets before continuing.

- i know, but knowing dad he would do anything to get what he wants and with the positive background of Yoongis treatments done by you he managed to get the permission for it.

- what does it have to do with me? - I asked even more intrigued.

- everything about Yoongis case was reported to my father, he used that to get the female hybrid and now he got another male in case… - he paused before continuing lowly - in case Yoongi doesn’t make it.

I let his words sink in before a long sight left my lips, bitterness rising under my tongue all over again. How dare they assume he wouldn’t make it after treat him so terribly for so long just to make it seem like “he didn’t make it”.

Jin seemed to notice exactly what was running through my head as he quickly turned to me, giving me a smile.

- don’t worry y/n, that won’t happen anymore - Jin assure me, giving my should a light squeeze.

- i know… - I breathe out - I won’t let it happen.

I will do my best so Yoongi never goes through all of that pain again, I’ll continue to treat him until his fully recovered and I’ll be there for him as he mates just like any other hybrid.

He deserves everything of the best. I’ll make sure he gets the treatments he needs in order to be happy.

- is that why you were hugging before? - Jin sudden asked, making me look at him suprised.

- yeah… - I could already fell the heat rising up on my cheeks and quickly looked away from him.

I could only nod as we made our way towards the elevators, no one said anything after that and I could think was things will finally work out for us now.

Like a heavy weight was lifted from my shoulders.

[…]

After our talk me and Jin decided to rushed things a bit, since Yoongis meeting with the female hybrid was in a day. If anything went bed we still had some time to make any adjustments for him, we would be starting over with a few exams today and as the results would be ready only tomorrow Jin would be in charge of Yoongi before the mate meeting.

I couldn’t hold my excitement as we walked out of the office, it was long enough for Yoongi to finally get the rest he needed and to be treated like a patient and not a lab rat.

When’s hybrid is admitted to the clinic, we first check his vitals and take some blood samples for exams and check the levels of their hormones. As well as any symptoms of sickness he might be feeling to proceed with the medication he needs.

In his case I agreed with Jin to get him fully examined, since I didn’t know what kind of tests were done on him we would have to check everything to ensure his condition is good.

After getting the right medical devices me and Jin made our way back to Yoongis room to start his procedures.

I could do all of it alone, but lately Yoongi was making me more nervous than usual. I didn’t wanted to risk anything like before so I made sure Jin would be with me at all times, in case Yoongi might try more of his plays.

Already in front his new room i quickly inserted the code on the digital panel and the door opened, I made my way in as Jin fallowed right behind me. Even though I asked him to come for other reasons, I could tell he was excited about too.

Not many people at the clinic knew this, but Jin cared a lot for the hybrids. He was usually busy but whenever he could he would show up at the clinic and help out, just like now with Yoongi.

I couldn’t mess this up now more then ever, my feelings shouldn’t matter now. Jin is putting every effort he has into saving Yoongi, if anything happens it will only reflect badly on him.

This is a hard to carry on, I let myself fall too deep for Yoongi. But I knew that once he meets the female snake hybrid, I’ll be left out in his memory only. Hybrids crave a mate more then anything else, I was just a side effect in his life. Nothing to worry about, soon he’ll meet with the one who’s meant for him.

I should forget about this feelings now, before getting myself hurt.

- Yoongi? - I asked standing in the middle of the room as I didn’t find him anywhere there.

- where is he? - said Jin beside me

I could already begin to feel the drastic change of emotions boiling up in my chest, worrying something might have happened in the last couple hours.

But before I could even get a single word out of my mind, the snake hybrid emerged from the bathtub.

I never felt more grateful for having Jin right beside me then in that moment, as I watched Yoongi brushing his wet black hair back completely - as I notice from all his clothes on the floor - naked in that bathtub exposing his skin for all eyes to see.

I gulped down, trying my best to stay focused on the task set for myself but, oh, god, how badly I wanted to run my finger through his hair, how baldy I wanted to give in to him.

Let me bite you again.

His words were like poison in my head, completely losing myself again as his dark and glossy eyes stared right at my figure. A chill running dow my spine at the sight of him.

- Hello Yoongi - began Jin beside me and I was grateful once again - are you enjoying your new room?

- humm - he purrs, eyes still not letting go of me - now I’m.

Shit.

- that’s good to hear - Jin said - we’ll be taking a few exams right now if you could please dress yourself?

- oh, more exams - he mumbled, moving forward still in the bathtub he leaned on the edge of it before looking up at me - can you help me y/n?

- what? Oh, yes - I stumbled on my words, still not over how beautiful he looked.

My reaction seemed to amuse him as I hear his deep chuckled behind me once I quickly made my way toward the small cabinet on the right to get him a new pair of clothes and a towel, and here I though he would behave himself if we weren’t alone.

I made my way towards him to hand him the towel, feeling the heat burn my whole face once I was close enough to hand him the towel. He looked up at me for a second not moving an inch to get it, amusement clearly facing over his soft features before he took it from my hand slowly as if on purpose.

I also didn’t move an inch, not caring this time to even look away as he got up covering himself with the towel finally getting out the tub to get dressed.

Now standing in front of me he took the clothes from my hands, leaning closer to my face.

- did you think about my offer? - he whispered, dark eyes drifting down to my lips.

Offer?

Let me bite you again.

I gulped down hard. He was clearly trying to get under my skin now, something felt different about him. Ever since we got here he’s been acting different, I couldn’t wrap my finger around it but something on his voice and even his eyes were not the same.

This time I turned around not to look, making my way back to where Jin stood looking anywhere but at me and Yoongi in that moment.

- ahm… we’ll take a sample of your blood Yoongi - Jin decided to break the ice - if you don’t mind.

- is y/n the one who’ll do it? - Yoongis question brought my attention back to him, he already had dressed his bottom and turned to me and Jin while putting on his shirt.

- of course I will - I reply, Jin gave me a small smile before handing me de syringe from the small silver tray.

I notice how his eyes switched to the syringe in my hand as I approached him, looking attentively at it as I carefully lifted his arm up to take some of his blood.

This kind of procedures are needed to help detect any diseases hidden from the naked eye or any damage caused by the tests done on him over the years, since no other exams were taking to ensure of that we would have to take a new one and blood tests are more accurate in this case.

Pushing the sleeve up his arm to find his vein seeing as they weren’t blue or green but a dark gray, was something I didn’t notice before. I looked up to his eyes before continuing, he had a hard expression on his face dark eyes still focused over the syringe.

- it’s okay… - I softly mumble to him, bringing his attention back to my face - it won’t hurt, you know how is done.

- I do… it’s just… - he sighted.

- I know - I tell him, carefully running my thumb over the single gray vein on his arm - I’ll do it know.

He only nodded looking away from it. This time he moved a bit when I inserted the needle into his vein, his eyes looked at floor clouded at the motion.

Thankfully things like this didn’t took much longer and in a second I was done with it, pressing over the vein with a small cotton making sure no blood drops before sliding his sleeve back down.

- hey… - I bring his attention back to me, holding his hand softly.

He nodded slowly almost leaning towards me but I quickly took a step back, stoping him before anything happens. I gave him a small smile before turning around to give Jin the syringe and the small blood sample.

- just one more now - Jin said - should we go already?

- ah, we…

- yes, please - Yoongi interrupted before I could even ask him - the sooner we do this the sooner it ends.

- right… - Jin replied behind me already making his way toward the door.

I wait for Yoongi before making my way to Jin, taking the collar from the compartment beside the door. Yoongi is quick standing close to me lowering his head down a bit for me to close the metal collar around his neck.

Usually at time like this he would never miss the chance to stare deeply into my souls with his dark and glossy eyes but, now he looked anywhere but me. Blinking a couple of times before nervously hold into my coat, once I’m done with the collar I took his hand from my coat into my own.

He didn’t look at me but seemed to be a bit more calmer this time.

I could only wonder what might have gotten into him, Yoongi wasn’t knew to this kind of procedures so his reactions were unexpected to me.

All I could think about in that moment was make sure he was alright until we are done with the exams, I’m sure once we are alone he’ll talk to me about it.

It didn’t took much longer for us to get at the exam room, the entire way there I could notice how Yoongi only seemed to grow more anxious beside me. Unknowingly holding my hand tighter each time, if I didn’t trust myself I would’ve stop this right away. But the exam was a good thing for him, it might be very helpful in order to make the right adjustments for his health.

I didn’t minded Jin presence this time and kept myself close to Yoongi at all times, I wanted to make sure he knew I was there for him and wouldn’t let anything bad happen to him.

Once we got in the room I notice from our proximity how stiff he became at the sight of the room, stoping in front of him to change his attention from it to me.

- hey, Yoongi - letting go of his hand to hold his chin softly - I’m right here okay?

- okay…. - he murmured looking back at me.

- is alright if your nervous - I assure him.

- is everything alright? - Jin asked.

- yeah, I’ll prepare him for it you can wait in the other room - I tell him.

Jin nods giving us one last looks before leaving for the room right next to us, separated by a glass window.

I turned back to Yoongi who’s attention was back at the bed in the middle of the room, it was a scan exam done by a clinical machine above the bed.

Just like and x-ray but for your whole body.

- come with me okay? - I gently hold both his hands guiding him towards the bed.

As he sat over it i quickly undid the bottoms of his shirt to carefully place the electrodes on his chest, once I made sure his heart beat was shown on the computer beside the bed.

- alright we are almost… - I took one glance at him before everything completely changed right there.

He looked up at me almost out of breath, chest moving up and done quicker then before as a bit of sweat began to form over his forehead. He was in panic, his heart beat racing on the computer.

- Yoongi what happen? - I held his chin softly up brushing some of the sweat from his face.

- I can’t do this… - he swallowed hard - please y/n take me out of here…

He held into my coat harshly pulling me into him, tears forming under his eyes as he looked up at me.

I felt my heart breaking into a million pieces at the sight. All the abuse from Jin’s father right there in his eyes as he desperately held into me.

- I know Yoongi…. - I held his face softly between my hands - I’m right here for you okay, I’m not leaving you alone. We can do this together okay?

- y/n… - he mumbled leaning into my touch.

- I hate seeing you like this…. - I whispered - I promise this will only take one second, I’ll be right here with you please Yoongi? I have to make sure… I have to make sure they didn’t hurt you any deeper then this.

I softly traced his face with my fingers, cleaning the tears from his eyes.

He leaned towards me resting his face over my chest, hands still grabbing my coat as he brushed his hair feeling his breathing slowly began to go back to normal.

I could see Jin’s worried expression through the window on the wall, he knew better then interver in a moment like this. By now everyone knew how sensitive Yoongi could get when he is in defensive mode.

- you feel better now? - whispered to him having him slowly nod over my chest, I leaned back to see his face catching his dark glossy eyes - can we continue now?

- yes… I can do it - he murmured leaning back but still holding into me.

- I’ll be right here for you okay?

- okay.

I gave him an assured nod as he slowly began to lie down the bed, taking deep breathes as he kept his eyes on me the entire time. I held his pinky to make sure he knew I was right there for him before I tune to the glass window on the wall giving Jin a thumbs up.

Jin nodded to me and with a second the machine begging to move above Yoongi, first the light would scan the individual for then scan throughout his body.

The blue laser light of the magnetic resonance begin to scan his body from head to toe, then from down to up his head. With that the scan was done already.

Once the machine stoped Yoongi got up from the bed as quickly as possible and before I could say anything he pulled me in for a hug by the waist, chest moving up and down against mine as he breathes deep.

- see? I told you it was going to be quick - I told him, lifting my hands up to brush over his black hair.

- it’s the last time right? - he asked over my ear.

- it is Yoongi.

He sighted resting his head on my shoulder. The first step towards his new life has just started, knowing he must been through so much this kind of reaction we’re bound to occur.

But from now on Yoongi will be able to heal from all of this and I’ll be right here for him.

To be continued.

Notes: here is is finally! I hope you guys like this chapter and next update will be next week! See you guys soon! I’m sorry if it wasn’t so good the next chapters will be more interesting!! Thank you for reading my works ! 🫶🩷🩷🩷

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[shunsuiken]

THE ONE I RETURN TO.

pairing. kamisato ayato x fem!reader

genre. fluff + marriage au + reader is kinda shy btw (PLEASE CAN U BLAME ME ITS AYATO) + also you wear fragranced hand cream here

synopsis. day to day life married to kamisato ayato is never boring. there is always something to complete and achieve by the end of the day. however, due to your husband’s busy schedule, he’s never seen you in your element at work to ensure the household is in order. and tonight, he finally gets that chance.

wc. 2k

an. heavily inspired by ayato’s character story where the maids and servants often leave notes for him on his study so that he stays up to date with anything going on in the household I LOVE MY HUSBAND SO MUCH AWHWEHEURUFHDB its also my birthday today (well, it was, like 30mins ago but still) so this is a gift from me to you <3 okay please enjoy !!!

as ayato’s wife, you make sure to take care of the household while your husband attends to official duties. even if these duties take much of his time, you don’t fail to report and update him of any changes or requests made within the household and thanks to his lovely sister, ayaka, you learnt that the estate’s way of filling in the clan head on any news was though writing little notes to stick onto any books that were left open after the commissioner left his study.

as your husband, ayato really should be spending more time with you. everyone around him is aware of the capable and loving wife he has at home. some even whisper underneath their breaths that the lord commissioner is too busy to even have a wife. but he knows that is wrong, he doesn’t leave you unattended. in fact, he showers you in so many gifts (hand creams, hair products, skin care products—the list goes on!) when he knows he’ll be on business for longer than usual. this is how you found two new sets of kimono’s waiting for you on your shared bed. you must admit, they’re gorgeous. the delicate hands of ogura mio never disappoint… you nod your head in agreement to your own thoughts as you hold up the material closer to your face.

a knock on the door snaps you out of your mind.

“yes?”

“y/n? i was wondering if you were free? thoma made some pastries, would you like to—”

you bolt for the shoji before sliding it open with practiced grace. your gentle smile greets ayaka’s cute expectant expression. “of course, ayaka! you know i always have time for you.”

her eyes curl like crescents, boldly looping her arm with yours so she can take you to the area outside the estate’s doors. the evening breeze is cool but it doesn’t make you chilly enough to request a coat.

you and ayaka have always been the best of friends, even before you were wed to ayato. although you were a few years older than her, it did not change the shared frequency you both had when it came to certain hobbies and topics. then one day, you met ayato while he was on official business and you couldn’t deny how composed and… gorgeous that man was on that day. so after silently eyeing each other from across the room of authorities and inazuman nobility, he finally introduced himself, saying “he never had the pleasure of meeting you.”

you both soon grew closer, contacting each other through letters—referring to one another as your “penpal” when really you two were flirting (very, very subtly) on a piece of paper. you both only spoke during events hosted by other noble clan’s or official authorities, which was for the safety of both your reputations because god forbid a rumour that the yashiro commissioner was seeking a wife. imagine the uproar it would cause in inazuma city!

oh, and it certainly did.

as you stack papers upon papers in your husband’s study, you reminisce quietly with a relaxed smile on your face. you take the notes other servants have left and arrange them in categories of: household updates, requests and miscellaneous things. you often find yourself reading through the miscellaneous category of notes the most as they bring a laugh out of you. once you read that a servant politely asked the clan head to watch his step when leaving the study so he would avoid bumping into any potted plants. you remember that day and you remember how you were holding in your laughter at the disaster in the room when thoma showed you.

“my lady, sometimes the lord likes to get ahead of himself so it results in his feet working quicker than his head,” thoma commented as he cleaned the mess of soil and the depressing state of the plant.

you hummed in agreement. “that, i could tell very easily.”

a chuckle leaves your lips as you read through more of the notes from the retainers. “oh dear, these are too much for me.” you cover your mouth to contain your giggles. these people just have the most outlandish things to say! oh well, it is nice to know they aren’t afraid to be honest.

you’re lucky it’s past midnight, when everyone is asleep so they wouldn’t have to hear your muffled giggles.

everyone except for one person.

your husband, of course. who idly stands in the corridor with the shoji being the one thing that separates you two. he listens to how you whisper under your breath as you read the notes, or how you repeat what some of them say due to how amusing they are.

“my lord, your bountiful order of rice cakes will arrive within 3-5 days. until then please refrain from stepping into the kitchen to fi—pfft.” clearly, pursing your lips isn’t enough to keep you from bursting into laughter. “—to fix up your own—oh no, that is absolutely something he would do.”

ayato only realises how much he’s been yearning to hear your voice until now. it’s a shame this is the first time he’s bumped into you on these midnight reviews (he can see the smile on your face as you read the note even when he’s not looking at you, oh how he misses that sweet look on your face). licking his lips lightly, his gloved fingers stealthily slide the shoji open by an inch so the view reveals your figure that is turned back to him. his lavender gaze captures the sight of your hair loose and that you’re wearing the yukata he gifted you two weeks ago. you sit comfortably on his specially made tatami mat too.

sometimes ayato barely even has the time to be in your presence. but this moment right now, where he enjoys your presence without you even knowing, is nice. although the painful drop in his stomach inks him with a tinge of regret, he well understands how his duties must stay a priority. after all, he has a family to protect. ayaka, you, thoma and the retainers. he cannot fail any of you.

ayato purses his lips before he announces his presence with a light thud of the shoji shutting behind him. “hello darling.”

your spine snaps straight up at the sound and the voice. “ayato?” turning around, you watch your husband make his way toward you sitting on his tatami mat. he kneels down beside you before pulling another mat from the side to sit on it.

your mind struggles to process the moment until he is sat down. your movements are paused, two notes from the retainers still held in your hands. “when… did you arrive? it’s pretty early.”

a light chuckle leaves ayato’s lips, “darling, what are you implying? would you rather i leave?” he puts on an expression feigning disappointment, pretending to get up from his seat.

your hands move quickly, halting his act with your warm palm on his knee. “no no, don’t! stay here please.” the hastiness in your voice is accompanied by your wide eyes that have a longingness to them, a longingness that you still struggle to communicate verbally. which is how you end up subconsciously relying on your husband’s perceptiveness to get wind of what you’re feeling without telling him.

he huffs at you fondly, fixing his clothing to sit comfortably on the tatami mat again. then he takes your hand in his hand before you can pull it back. “as you wish, my dear.” he tugs on your hand and you give him a questioning look.

“come closer.”

“o- oh.” your other hand scrunches up the material of your yukata, which ayato totally sees and pretends he doesn’t. little shit. you want to curse because he knows how good he is at making your heart flutter. your body gives into him nonetheless, the longing and yearning for him finally melting into your limbs as you become putty in his arms, sitting in between his legs with both the tatami mats providing your bottom's comfort.

your arms shyly snake around his clothed waist, comfortably wrapping yourself around your husband you missed so much.

ayato lets you do whatever you want, knowing you will indulge in his invitation. sliding his gloves off his fingers, he puts them on the table so that he can feel your body without the obstruction. such a sullied garment that shakes hands with officials, signs documents and motions at retainers to obey his orders simply does not earn the right to hold you.

your head hides in the juncture between his neck and shoulder and he feels your soft breaths against his neck. he gently places his jaw on the crown of your head, finding solace in the embrace as his arms hold onto your smaller body.

the warmth from his palms spread on your skin, calming your nerves instantaneously.

“so is this what you do in my office at this time?”

you hum into his skin, “usually you’re not home by this time so it’s only natural you don’t bump into me when i’m in here.” your breath tickles ayato, a tug playing on his rosy lips at the physical intimacy. “you can imagine how shocked i was when you magically appeared behind me.” your soft giggle fills the room momentarily.

“it’s no wonder that all of my notes are arranged tidily when i return,” ayato chuckles softly, “it’s not to say that they weren’t tidy before but these notes held a certain scent on them that led me to believe that my wife was here prior.” he gently takes your hand that was wrapped around him, pulling it up to plant a kiss on your knuckles.

oh, you definitely felt how he inhaled slightly when his lips touched your knuckles. you glare at him, but there is no anger behind your eyes. “you rascal, you sniff your notes?”

ayato’s grin only widens at the name you call him, enjoying your response to his teasing. “darling, you’re the only one in this estate who wears this scented hand cream. i also personally chose it for you so i had no doubts about it.” he then sighs disappointedly, “though it is a shame this is the first time i’ve caught you in here, what if you stayed longer next time?”

you deadpan at him. “you want me to camp out here in your office?” because with his schedules, you might not even step foot into your bedroom until dawn.

ayato shakes his head, laughing softly at your expression. “don’t say that, you know i rush home every time once i’m finished.”

you pat his shoulder, putting on an act of sympathy before exhaling to feign exasperation. “and you will find me in our bedroom once you’re done.”

“y/n!” your husband almost whines, his brows creasing sorrowfully.

his expression doesn’t improve until you’ve kissed every inch of his pretty face, and only then does the corner of his lip curl up. with your hands cupping his face, he opens an eye to peek over at you ready to give him another smooch, consequently making you pause.

“are you satisfied, my lord?”

“hm, perhaps another one—over here.” ayato ponders for a moment before tapping his index finger on his own cheek. he closes his eyes yet again to await your kiss.

it does not arrive.

so he opens his eyes again, mouth ready to pester you with complaints for not granting him your divine kisses but just as he does, you’re up in his face to place that kiss he was waiting for on his cheek.

“there you go, happy?”

“most unbelievably.” his voice is soft, tender, almost a whisper. but clear enough for your ears to catch it. ayato stares at you with these eyes that tempt you into looking away. the loving and affectionate gaze of those lilac eyes, paired with that gentle curl of his pink, moistened lips is reserved, just for you. he takes your hands in his again, lifting one of them to place another ardent kiss on your knuckles. 

“especially since it’s you, the one i return to.”

[lelengerine]

now playing... "distractions"

pairing | student part timer!jaemin x student!reader

synopsis | a single cup of coffee actually has you waiting for more.

genre | more 3am fluff thoughts, y/n has down bad syndrome, mentions of food, no specific prns are used (lmk if i missed anything!)

wc | 0.9k

notes | here’s a little something for my bday while my other jaem fic is still in progress <3 i also have a recent addiction to writing down bad!reader rn so… that explains this a lot 😄 likes and feedbacks are always appreciated!

m.list

you sit at the corner table of the quaint cafe near campus, an array of colorful textbooks splayed open in front of you, but your attention keeps drifting away from your studies, and you think you can pinpoint the exact reason why.

na jaemin, a face you’ve seen bearing smiles more often than not from behind the register as he takes down your regular order of coffee during your visits. the two of you shared a couple of classes together, but neither of you have actually tried striking up a conversation with the other — instead, sticking to the comfort of your respective friend groups.

you were never distracted in class because of him. you never even looked his way once! okay, maybe that was an exaggeration, but your point still stands…

today, however, everything seems different. each time he passes by your table to distribute orders, your gaze turns almost against your own will, mesmerized by the effortless charm he exudes and his gentle movements as he serves drinks for other patrons with the brightest smile on his face.

this was exactly why you couldn’t get anything done, god!

“come on, focus,” you chide yourself internally, patting your face a couple of times as you try shaking off the allure of your classmate, but every time you finally to return to your textbooks, you see jaemin smiling at you from the corner of your eye, and suddenly all your efforts go poof in an instant with the sound effects and all.

frankly, the lack of progress you've made has begun to bother you more than you care to admit. you can’t afford to slack off like this today, not when you have a final exam coming up that’s worth 80% of your entire grade, and so you do what any other person would — pack your books up in defeat and prepare to return home in hopes of focusing better — but jaemin has other plans in mind as he approaches your table with a small coffee cup in hand, a poorly drawn smiley face doodled onto its side.

“y/n, right?” he says with a playful grin, “i couldn't help but notice you've been here a while. thought you might need a little pick-me-up for your study session.”

you look up in surprise, not expecting him to address you directly — this was the first time the two of you were speaking to each other, after all. a rush of excitement floods your senses, and for a moment, you're at a loss for words. “oh, thank you jaemin,” you manage to sputter out despite your puzzled state, a faint surge of heat creeping onto your cheeks. “did i… look that tired for you to offer me this?”

jaemin’s chuckles at your words, eyes sparkling. “maybe, but a part of me just wished for you to stay here longer.”

he noticed you were getting ready to leave? moreover, he noticed and decided to make you a cup of coffee on the house?

you take the drink from him, feeling a tinge of elation at his cheeky answer. “you must like having me around then.” you reply teasingly.

“i could say the same about you with the amount of times i've caught you staring.” jaemin replies with a raised brow, crossing his arms together and pretending as if you were in big trouble. no way did he catch you... you made sure to be lowkey and everything!

you gawk at his response before mimicking his accusatory stance, “then... that means you were staring back to catch me stealing glances in the first place. you aren’t as innocent as you think you are.”

“caught me all red-handed.” he raises his hands in the air but he doesn’t hold an ounce of shame, a feathery chuckle escaping him. “you don’t usually leave this early though, what’s the rush today?”

“i can’t concentrate on my notes because of a certain someone.” you huff in faux frustration, hoping he’d take the jest.

“really now?” jaemin laughs, a mischievous glint in his eyes as he leans closer, his voice tinged with teasing amusement. “if that’s the case, wait for me after my shift, it ends in around ten minutes anyways.”

you raise an eyebrow, intrigued by his suggestion. “why should i?” you question out, trying to maintain a casual tone despite the flutter of intrigue in your chest. “so you can distract me even more?”

his grin only grows wider after hearing you admit to how you’ve been so affected by him today, “so i can explain the topics to you, silly. you’re studying for the statistics exam, right?”

your eyes widen in surprise, caught off guard by his astute observation. “how do you—”

“we share the class, remember?” he interrupts, his confidence evident as he leans in, voice low and enticing. “so, what do you say?”

you hesitate for a moment, the thought of spending more time with jaemin felt both thrilling and nerve-wracking because you're not sure whether you’d pay attention- correction, you’re not sure if you’d pay attention to your studies, or forget it all once more to admire his features, but ultimately, the prospect of getting help with your studies outweighs the reservations you harbor against it.

“right… okay then. i’ll wait.” you finally agree, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips as you watch jaemin’s expression light up in response.

“good, i’ll be back quick!” he exclaims, though his feet fail his words as he hasn’t even taken a single step back yet.

“dummy, go back behind the counter before your manager tells you off!” you reply with a quiet snort, and he rushes back to his position as per your command.

guess you have a reason to stay here for a bit longer now.

[jaketsparrow]

SOMETHING... | JTK

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f! Reader

Word Count: 10.6K

Summary: When you have to say goodbye to your professor and mentor, a cocky young professor steps in, Jacob Kiskza. Literature used to be your safe place, but now you feel him getting involved in every corner; it doesn’t help that you’re his TA. You deny yourself every opportunity to fall for him until…

A/N: Hi guys :) I know it’s been forever since I’ve put something together and I apologize about that, but this is life. This one has been on my mind since the Grammy U interview and I finally had the idea to put it all together. I hope you enjoy :) 

Playlist

*Also I'm so sorry I lost my tag list so if you want to be tagged here's a new form* Taglist

MINORS DNI

MENTIONS OF/ TW: Sexual content (of course), talks about death/grief, angst, swearing, Dom! Jake, restraints, possible orgasm denial, choking, alcohol use, fingering (f receiving), dirty talk, ~some~ degrading, praise kink!, I’m sorry if I missed anything, but, etc, it’s filth. 

The classroom was cold in the early months of the year. You had gotten in the habit of wearing your coat through the 3-hour seminar. You were lucky that this class only ran once a week, but you often had to stay longer than the students, working with the professor for a few hours afterward. He was always elusive. Always eager to get things done as fast as possible; efficient and snappy. 

There was much to admire about him, but his personality often left you rolling your eyes. He always seemed a bit too sure about himself, always being the tough grader, pushing students further than they were willing to go. He cared a lot, especially about the subject matter. He still had that gusto in him to do things right, to be stern. 

He was new to the program; and before this, only about a year into teaching. You studied under his predecessor. She was a kinder old woman who cared deeply for you, like your mother away from home. She taught you everything- and even got you to change majors during your sophomore year. She supplemented your reading supplies, nurtured your abilities, and was always willing to sit in deep conversation with you. Discussing the classics, introducing modern pieces, talking about life, talking about it all. 

Professor Kiszka on the other hand… 

When he took over for Professor Meelo, he took very little time to rip the bandaid off. When you had originally been promised a TA position in the literature department, you were expected to be under your mentor, not a cocky white man. 

You spent weeks crying during winter break after first meeting him. The day you met him didn’t go exactly as you hoped. It was the week of finals when you found out Meelo was sick, and that she was stepping away from teaching. As if finals week wasn’t stressful enough, you had to come to terms with the fact that the woman who taught you everything was going to be leaving this world sooner than you would’ve thought. It was even more of a punch in the gut to walk into your introduction meeting to see… him. 

3 Months Ago

The walk across campus felt heavier than usual. The winter had been harsher than it usually was in early December. The wind whipped across your bare rosy cheeks, causing freezing tears to slowly fall out of the corners of your eyes. Almost like a bad omen, the weather continued to get worse as you sludged your way across the quad. 

The parking lot was nearly a mile away from campus, which was nice during the warmer months; the trees would sway across the crosswalk, blessing the sidewalk with fallen flowers and leaves. The grass was green and lively, a welcome mat onto a wonderful learning home. Between the cracks of the stone walkways, little dandelions would grow. You never understood the people who thought them to be unnecessary weeds. They were bright and yellow lively plants, and when the time of beauty passed, they passed their good wishes onto you. Blowing what once were vibrant petals into the wind. Who knew you’d miss the weeds on your walks?

Instead, now the stones were smeared with remnants of snowy footprints, broken earth that had been cracked through with the force of shovels, and the remnants of the dead earth.

Meelo called you just last week. You begged to go see her in the hospital, but she didn’t want you to worry too much. She agreed to call you every other day, just like your usual coffee arrangements. She loved them just as much as you did. She never had a husband or any children. Her students were her children, her soul was fed enough through changing lives that she didn’t want to take away that love from her students or prevent any child from feeling all of it. You were not the first to bear their soul in her office, but you might be one of the last. 

Meelo begged you to go meet the new professor. You had tried to rescind your TA position, but she blocked you at every chance she got. Even while in hospice she still managed to look out for you…

“Please, sweetheart. I know it’s not easy. But he’s young, he’s smart, I think you’ll have a lot in common with him,” She pleaded through the phone. 

“But he’s not you. I just, I thought… I thought I’d have more time…” Your voice trailed off. 

You tried to hold the phone away from your face, trying not to distress her more with the sounds of your whimpers and tears. 

Her voice started again, “You never know what you will learn from him. You have more time with me, but there comes a time when a teacher must share her students for them to learn more. If we stayed in our echo chamber together my dear I’m afraid you wouldn’t learn everything you need to know. Jacob is going to be a great professor, and I know you will learn a lot from him. His research and analysis work is quite extensive. The school and I hired him for a reason. Please. Just give it a try. For me.”

“Just for you.” 

And here you were trudging through, feeling every bone in your body telling you to turn around, to go home. But you were doing this not for you, you reminded yourself. For Meelo. She was right, you latched on to her from your early years in college and favored her over all of your other professors. They were kind and nice as well, but it didn’t matter to you in the end, if they weren’t Meelo, they were never going to compare. 

The building seemed colder than usual. The large glass windows were covered by their shades; no one wanted to see the gross state of life outside of the classroom. That’s hardly motivating to any student, the fluorescents would give more life than the grey state of the weather. 

You pull the door open, walk through the entryway, and follow your usual path down the hallway to Meelo’s room. 

The thing about old colleges, everywhere you turn is a little piece of history. Each room has housed many professors and many students. The building had life, had ghosts of its own hidden in each brick, in each stone. You felt the comfort of this presence moving through the hallway. 

You stop right before Meelo’s room, catching your breath before you enter. Trying to have an open mind. Kiszka could be something, or he could just be another man throwing words at you. Not that all men were the same, but a majority of the male professors here were lackluster, favoring the male students and the athletes who needed the better grades to stay in the school. And if they favored the women… You always felt a cold chill thinking about that. Thinking about why…

One last deep breath before you enter the classroom. You grab tight onto the handle of your tote bag and strut confidently into the room. 

It was empty. 

The beautiful artwork and posters that Meelo had filling the room were stripped. Revealing the natural state of the architecture. It was beautiful in its own way but didn’t feel like the educational home you once felt so blessed to be in. The desks were all shoved to one side of the classroom. The previous welcoming U-shape was demolished, instead providing a cluttered destruction of Meelo’s work. 

You stood awestruck in the shape of the room. There was no time wasted between Meelo leaving and Kiszka starting to make his mark on the room. The bookshelves that used to be filled in the back of the room had been emptied and their contents sat on the floor in boxes.

You walk over to the boxes, kneeling to gently sift through the carelessly placed books. This was Meelo’s library that she had collected for the classroom. Take a book, leave a book, borrow a book, bring it back. You loved visiting this wall every week, seeing what books your peers were interested in, and which books made their way into the library. Some new, and some returning after long months away. 

Sitting on top of the box was the classic “Brave New World”. Aldous Huxley. 1932. Not an original copy, but a new binding. It was like the universe was sending you signs. This would be a brave new world. A world where you might have to come to terms with the fact that Meelo would not be in your life forever.  A world where you might have to figure out everything with a new mentor. A world where you thought you would have years to work on your pieces with a woman who understood you, but now you would turn over your heartfelt pieces to a man. One who may not understand you the same as someone else does.

“A favorite of yours?” A voice perks up from the doorway. 

You turn to see him. Your eyes work your way up his figure. He’s wearing Chelsea boots, black thick linen pants, a white loose shirt with a black vest, and a dress coat over it. His chestnut hair lays over the shoulders of the coat, and his eyes are covered by circular gold-rimmed sunglasses. He oozes mystery. His arms crossed, surveying your crouched body by the boxes. You hate to admit it, but he may be one of the most handsome men you’ve ever seen. 

You hold up the book towards him, displaying the cover. 

“Not particularly. I don’t like thinking about the takeover of technology. It feels too real right now.” You respond. 

He wanders over to you, taking his time, each step creating the most annoying echo in the emptied classroom. He reaches his hand out to yours, asking silently for the book. You hand it over to him and stand to match his level. 

He passes the book between his hands, admiring the binds, “Ah, yes, but perhaps something can be learned from the book if more understood its warning… if only more read it…”

“If only…” You let the conversation trail off. Your eyes wander back to the pile of desks on the opposite wall. You feel yourself zoning out, focused only on the change of the room, not on the man in front of you. 

“-Your favorite?” He asks. 

You snap back to the conversation, trying to recall the beginning of his question, “I’m sorry? 

“If this is not your favorite, can I ask which is?” He waves you to walk with him. 

You follow him into the office at the back of the classroom. He sits in Meelo’s chair, and you sit in the chair that had held you so many times. You wouldn’t be surprised if the cushion had a you-shaped imprint in it at this point. 

He asks a third time, “You don’t seem like the Jane Eyre or Louisa May student, so what is it?” 

You let your bag fall off your shoulder and you try to sit up in the chair, asserting some sort of professionalism. Your answer will hold some sort of judgment for him. Although you want to be offended by his comment about the female author’s classics, he’s right. They were never your favorite. 

“Tess of the D’Urbervilles. Meelo gave it to me as my first assignment.” You respond, confident in your answer. 

He nods in approval, “Lovely choice, very telling. Meelo said you were very bright–one for the classics.” 

He leans back in his chair, stroking his chin. His hand reaches up to the gold-rims and pulls them off, clattering onto the desk. He pulls himself towards the desk, resting his elbows on the table. 

“Are you going to ask me mine?” He asks, almost presumptuously. 

You fight back the urge to roll your eyes. Of course, he has to find a way to be important here. You adjust yourself in your seat, crossing your arms in the process. 

“If you want me to know, why don’t you just say it?” You retort. 

He chuckles to himself, “Lord of the Rings.” 

Your mouth falls so far open that you’re afraid a fly might buzz its way in. You lift your hand to your mouth and try to hide your disapproval.

“That’s a classic for sure.” You reply, “Not one I would’ve expected from a college literature professor, but a classic nonetheless.”

He pushes himself off the desk, running his hands through his long locks before they make their way onto the arms of the seat. 

“You don’t approve?” He scoffs. 

“I didn’t say that, I just said it’s not one that I would expect.” 

“I believe there is a difference between a personal and professional favorite. A favorite you could read over and over again, and you could enjoy without having to think too much about what it all means. it’s an adventure, its heroes and legends, it’s a call for relaxation and enjoyment. I’d rather have my favorite be a well-known classic than a deep thought-provoking story about purity.”

You fight every urge in you to slap the man sitting before you for disgracing such a beautiful novel. But you think about Meelo. You think about stepping outside of the echo chamber. 

“I think we may have different opinions on favorites, Professor Kiszka.” You say shortly. 

You feel the tension grow between you already. This would be a difficult semester. Even more difficult because as you felt your dislike for him grow, you couldn’t stop staring at the beautiful man sitting in front of you. His brown eyes stared deep into you, trying to assess his new assistant. You tried not to let him in too far. You were not fawning for him, at least you weren’t trying to. You wanted to fight off the growing warmth crying to spread through you. It was like seeing a handsome stranger in the bar; you knew the danger, but almost didn’t want to let yourself protect your heart. 

He was by far the youngest professor here, and the most eligible. No ring was on his finger. 

“Please, call me Jacob.” 

You stood up from your seat, throwing your bag over your shoulder. You try to compose yourself enough not to let any distaste escape from your lips. 

“Sorry, Professor Kiszka, I have finals I need to finish, it was a pleasure to meet you. I look forward to working with you in January. If you need anything from me before then, I believe the dean gave you my information.”

You reach your hand out awkwardly, trying to invite a handshake. He cautiously reaches his hand back, pulling you into a firm, but still gentle handshake. 

His eyes meet yours. The deep brown staring into you. Although you should have the power from your standing position, you knew he held all the cards from his seat. The handshake lingered longer than you had expected, both of you locked deep into staring each other down. He finally releases his hand. 

“It was a pleasure.” You start to leave the office, but he makes one last remark, “Oh, one last thing…” 

You turn to face him, “Yes professor?”

 He reaches into the desk and pulls out a cloth-bound book, handing it to you. You slowly return to the desk, taking the book from his hand—the Lord of the Rings. 

“Try it for me? You do have a whole winter break…”

You rub your hands over the cover, smiling at his request. You place the book back in his hand.

“I used to read it as a child. No need to give it a try when you’ve read it four times already.” You smile at him. 

Even if it wasn’t your favorite, didn’t mean it wasn’t a favorite. 

Present

In some ways, your relationship with him felt like a love-lost marriage. Just moving through the motions. You sat in on the classes and took note of who engaged, and who didn’t. You graded assignments, tests, and papers, with him always double-checking and doubting your work. You didn’t sit in on long conversations with him like Meelo. Perhaps some of that was your fault, always quick to get to work. He adjusted to you quickly, understanding how you needed to work, and letting you grieve. 

Meelo passed quickly into the semester. You cried once in front of him when the news broke. You nearly snapped his head off when he asked if he could help you. From that moment on he took on this cold persona, but you don’t blame him at all. You knew in your heart that you would not have the same connection with him as Meelo, so it was easier to never try. 

Through everything, your work never faltered, and your school work remained the priority. Perhaps it was a way to hide through all the pain but the calculated steps it took to grade provided a soothing rhythm amongst the distress. 

You never failed to notice all the times you caught him catching glances at you. You were silly to think that it meant anything more than just a quick look, but still maybe somewhere in your heart, you had hoped that maybe he was thinking of you more than his assistant. For weeks you watched him stroll into class, always wearing a disheveled but somehow put-together outfit. You loved seeing how he would piece together different clothes from his collection. Never repeating an exact outfit, but always finding new ways to repurpose the same items. 

One day he walked in with a new addition to his look, a cluster of pendants on a necklace. They looked older, more worn in than any new silver. You asked him about it briefly, trying not to engage in a further conversation. 

“They’re coins, Spanish coins, designed after ones from the 1600s. I think the jeweler lied to me when he said they were originals, but they still look okay… Do you think so? 

“You look like a pirate.” You responded. 

A sexy pirate. You shoved that thought deep into the back of your mind. Holding on to it, because you didn’t want to forget how good he looked. 

His Thursday classes were always one of the better ones. This was one that you had to take yourself for your graduate program. There was no TA’ing involved as that would be a huge conflict of interest if you got to grade your papers. You chose to sit in the back corner of the class by the window, in hopes that when spring rolls around you could watch the foliage return. The unfortunate thing about this choice was the waiting. February was colder than you had expected and the windows provided no warmth. 

When you were TA’ing you got to sit at the edge of the office and the classroom. Kiszka brought a space heater for you to place at the doorway. He joked he didn’t need his assistant ‘freezing to death’, because then ‘who would grade the papers’.

You tried your hardest to not let him favor you, but you knew he was someone who would be kind no matter how much you asked him to stop. He would leave books on the edge of his desk for you to read and when you tried to return them he declined and told you he already had a copy in his collection. You doubted that and always protested in fear that you thought you might lead him on. But in the end, it was always you walking out with a new book in your bag. 

He was trying his hardest to get along with you. Some days it was easier and you would entertain his questions, but other days it was easier to be quick and move along. This relationship was not going to be a fairytale. You had already found your soulmate once, and you lost her. In your mind, there was no more room in your heart to let someone in. And why should you prepare space for someone if you truly don’t know if they want to be there? 

This class although interesting became boring as the weeks went on. The class had fallen into a seasonal depression of sorts. Many like you had expected to have Meelo for the semester when you had booked your classes, so when Kiszka showed up and tried to shake things up… It wasn’t easy. He was skilled and smart, sure… But not the same. He craved involvement and wanted the class to join in with him, but often would push people further than they were willing to go. A room full of mid-20-year-olds was truly a space of burnout. Many of these students had already passed four, sometimes five years of school before they stepped into this class. They no longer have that lively interest in reading and analyzing literature but want to create their own.

“-And what was this author trying to convey through his use of metaphors?...” He asked from his commanding space at the front of the class, “No one?... No one picked up on this…? Or are you too scared to be wrong?”

Your attempts at fighting off eye-rolls also subsided the longer this course went on, and this roll came on hard. You’ve heard this line countless times through multiple classes. He wasn’t wrong, but he could at least find different ways to say the statement. 

“Y/N? Care to enlighten everyone?” He calls to you, in need of saving the class who had lost attention nearly an hour ago. 

“Sure. It’s a metaphor for how women are treated in society.” You answer.

He grits his teeth and sighs, “Not quite, but you’re close…” 

You lift yourself from your slump, “No, that’s right. She is clearly trying to convey the expectations of women in society and how we are treated. As a female author, she leaves these metaphors to be very simple for female readers to understand. For males, it’s harder to grasp that the severity of these situations could imply the treatment of women, but that’s what she’s trying to explain.”

He clasps his hands together giving them a brief shake, “That class, that is how you analyze. Literature can be read in different ways by different readers. The author may have a clear intention of what they are trying to write, but others may be able to relate it to other aspects of their life. I have my own interpretation, and you all may have others. That is how this should be working. There is nothing wrong, with how you analyze, just that you have the knowledge to back it up…”

Every time you tried to make him out to be the bad guy, he ended up being in the right. You hated how smart he was. You hated how much you wanted to watch him while he stood up there. You hated how he wasn’t her. But you knew you didn’t want him to leave. 

“So with that,” He continues, “Finish up the last few chapters and please come prepared with statements next week about your findings. I want you to dig deep; feel the author. I’ll see you next week.” 

The class starts their shuffle for the door, while you meander to your usual spot at the doorway of the office. The next class wouldn’t be in for 20 minutes, but you would at least have time to warm up. 

You click on the heater and walk over to Kiszka’s rolling desk chair. You take your coat off and rest it over the seat, pushing it over to the door. Kiszka finds his seat at the front of the classroom, pulling out his book of the week. He usually would try to follow you, asking you what you were reading, then the next day showing up to class with an identical copy. It was annoying and endearing how much he wanted to learn from you. You wondered if it upset him that you weren’t as keen on learning from him. 

He confided in you that Meelo was an idol of his as well, and although he didn’t get to learn from her, he was going to try to through you. 

You pull your copy of Anna Karenina from your bag and join him. Your chapters ahead of him, but you enjoy being one step in front of him. 

You peep up from the back of the room, “I didn’t ask, but please tell me this isn’t your first time reading this.” 

He lifts his head from the book slightly, eyes still skimming the page, “Third.” 

You sigh in relief. That would’ve been embarrassing; for him. 

You return to the book. You’re finding it harder to dive in today than usual, something is different… You see out of the corner of your eye that Kiszka has put down the book altogether, and you can sense him staring. This lasts a few moments, but you try to remain focused on the words, but catching yourself having to re-read the paragraphs; not processing the sentences you’ve already read.

A minute goes by and he hasn’t returned to his pages. Instead, you hear the squeak of his chair rolling over to his computer. A few clicks and a frenzy of taps on the keyboard. 

“Hey.” He prods. 

You look up again from the book. He peers at you over the edge of his computer and then closes it so he can see you better. He grasps his jaw lightly, stroking it in his hands. 

“Yes?” You asked, trying not to seem annoyed by the interruption. 

“Let’s go over your manuscript. I want to see it.” He continues. 

No. It’s not time yet. You’ve been meticulously editing it for months now. He wasn’t supposed to read it until midterms, you were supposed to have more time…

You drop the book into your lap, “It’s not ready…” You close the book, “Also we have class in twenty minutes, you won’t be able to read it all by then.” 

He stands up from his seat, straightening his vest out, “I canceled class. Pull it out.” 

Two Hours Later

Some time had passed. You both sat in his office now. Him at… his… desk, and you still positioned by the heater at the door. At this point you were warm enough to finally take your sweater off, stripping down to a simple black t-shirt. You saw him staring through the pages when you pulled the sweater off. If he had looked any harder you think he might burn a hole through the book.

The office was silent except for the occasional click and clack of the heater, and the flickering of the candle on his desk. He flipped through the lightly bound pages while you continued through your reading. Every couple of minutes you could hear the stroke of his red pen hit the pages. The words or corrections will wait for you later. You could sit and scoff at them later in your apartment. The man said his favorite book was Lord of the Rings, how could you possibly trust his editorial judgment?

You had made it about a hundred or so pages through your book, which was slower than you would’ve liked. You still couldn’t breach the interferences. You thought the silence would help, but hearing his hums, his pen strokes, the occasional sip of scotch… It was all a distraction. 

You couldn’t stop looking up from the book to watch him slyly admire your work. You knew your writing was good; Meelo had seen the early stages of it all. She heard the direction and loved every word… A complete sadness rushed over you thinking of how she would never see the final product. 

Kiszka would adjust himself every few minutes; switching positions in his seat. You wanted to trust yourself enough not to look every time he shifted his hips, but those linen pants he loved so much left little to wonder about him. You had a closeness to him that you didn’t want to admit. As many differences as there were between you, there were just as many similarities. He was an outsider here; you could see that clearly. The other professors didn’t trust him because of his age- the students tried to walk all over him because of that too. 

Even though you wanted to hate how pretentious he seemed, deep down you knew it was a facade to seem more studious to others. You saw the real him in glimpses. The kindness he offered to you that many others most likely wouldn’t have. Your youth and love for literature matched his perfectly, although you couldn’t always find the way to express it correctly. Your loyalty to Meelo prevented that at every chance. 

Letting him read this manuscript was a big step that you didn’t fully even realize until he had reached the halfway point. You wanted to go and rip the pages out of his hand, throw them out the window, prevent him from seeing you too deeply… But something inside you needed to know what he thought of it. 

Frustrated by your lack of progress, you lowered the book into your lap. You took this time to look around the room. It had changed so much since you had seen it back in December. Kiszka’s library had taken up the room, along with his record collection. When you would come by early in the morning to drop off the graded work, you would hear him playing some of it. Blues, rock, the classics. You never disturbed him during these times, it felt too intimate to interrupt. Instead, you would place the binder of essays on his classroom desk and scurry away before he could come to say hello. 

You place your bookmark into the page opening. You calmly stand and place the book where you once sat. Quietly, you make your way over to his collection.  

You see him peer up through the pages. Curious about your movements, watching you silently behind the manuscript. 

You lower yourself to the floor, sifting through the jackets of the vinyls. Alphabetical. Of course. You make your way quickly through the a’s and land through the b’s. As cliche as it seems, you truly love Abbey Road, and of course, there it is front and center with the other Beatles albums. You pull it out from the shelf, removing the jacket carefully from the sleeve. You lift the vinyl out and place it on the record player. It’s a modern one, which feels very out of character for Kiszka. He always seemed like the type to randomly have every item of his be nothing newer than 20 years old. 

You press play and lower the needle onto the music. 

Come Together plays softly through the speakers. You turn to look back at him, seeing if there is any protest. Instead, he has the red pen out, slashing across the paper. You grit your teeth and try not to engage. You return to his collection, running your fingers along the remainder of the vinyl. The plastic tickles through your fingers, creating a click, click sound as each jacket releases from your hold. 

Although you did want Kiszka to keep reading, you felt it was necessary to distract him, to try and persuade him to step away…

You continue from the vinyl collection, traipsing through the room. It’s like a library out of a movie, truly. You admired his office deeply and loved to gaze at it while he was lecturing. Sometimes when he was deep in his philosophy of literature speeches, you would lean back in the chair and try to read the book titles from afar. Your eyesight was good, but not good enough to make out the exact names of all of them. You never dared to peruse like this before, but this moment presented the perfect opportunity. 

You were his captive for the remainder of his reading. Well… In all reality, you didn’t have to be here, but you didn’t dare leave that manuscript alone. It had been stored with you in your tote for the past month. You tried to take chunks of edits at a time, working through it yourself when you had time but didn’t want to share it with anyone until you felt that it was complete. 

You tried to fight Kiszka off, but the notion of him canceling class meant that he found taking the time to do this very important… 

The books that were displayed on these shelves were not the type of books that you would find at your local bookstore. They were older, worn in, some of them originals, even some you haven’t read yet. Maybe he did have some things that he could show you…

 You make your way to the last set of bookshelves, rounding the back corner of the office. The last edge of the wall had his makeshift bar. 

The liquor was all dark, amber-colored. Very manly, you thought to yourself. Bottles of whiskey and scotch lined the makeshift bar. Jack Daniels, Sazerac Rye, Macallan Double Cask… You recognized some of the labels. 

Kiszka crept up behind you, “If you wanted a glass, you could’ve asked.” 

He reaches down below you to fetch a rocks glass from the bar. He grabs the Macallan Double Cask and pours a finger for you. The alcohol flows effortlessly out of the bottle, barely splashing into the glass.  He hands the glass to you, your hand brushing his. His touch is warm… Kind. He takes his other hand and grabs your shoulder, in a comforting way. You want to seem completely normal, but feel your cheeks getting rosy from the touch. You suck on your bottom lip and try to hide your face. 

You take a large swig of the scotch, trying to be mindful of not wasting such a good drink. He looks at you, shocked at your ability to take it so easily. 

“Wow. Good.” Is the only words he can mutter. 

You smile meekly. The praise makes you feel undoubtedly shyer than you had just before. 

“Are these originals?” You ask, pointing to the corner section of his library, “I couldn’t tell, and didn’t want to touch them if they were.”

“Many of them, yes,” He responds, “I trust that you would be gentle with them, please, which one were you curious about?” 

You make your way over to the shelf, placing your drink down on the small table near the corner. You reach up to fold out the red bound book. Its title was completely faded from the binding, but we’re curious as to which one it was. He follows closely behind you, close enough to almost be on you. 

He laughs, “Funny you should grab that..” 

You open the cover to find Lord of the Rings printed in big black letters. 

“Oh, dear god.” You sigh. 

“It is an original if that makes you feel any better about it. I know you hate this book, but still-”

“No, no,” You protest, “I never said I hated it, I just said it wasn’t my favorite. Remember we have different opinions on that professor.” 

He scoffs and takes the book from your hand. Rubbing the cloth binding with his thumbs.

“Want to know something funny?” He questions. 

You did. You really did. You wanted the connection at this moment… For whatever cosmic reason it finally felt okay to banter with him. You nod your head, approving him to continue. 

“I saw the movies before I read the books.” He laughs, “My brothers and I loved it, we were practically obsessed, but I was younger then and a stupid boy who didn’t read like I do now. Not the fairytale way most people find their favorite but it reminds me of childhood…”

You wanted to laugh, you wanted to make fun of him for it. But you knew that this was a special moment for him. A look into his past, a presentation for more. He places the book carefully back on the shelf, tucking it back into its spot. 

“Well, I guess that makes more sense now. But, as a graduate professor, you ought to just say you like the pretentious shit. No one’s going to take you seriously.” 

He turns from the shelf, “Who said I was worried about that? If I lie then I am a fraud. I don’t care if anyone says that.” 

Oh fuck. His confidence is so intoxicating. He’s right. Why should he care? 

“I just- I meant… I thought that the other professors-” 

“You thought that they don’t take me seriously? Right. They don’t. In schools like this, you have to earn respect. I’m not an alumnus, I didn’t go to Harvard, but I do a damn good job at what I do. As much as you may protest some of my teaching, I know what I’m doing.”

He breezes past you and strolls back over to the bar to pour himself another drink. You reach back for yours and hold it between your hands, trying to collect yourself. You hope that you didn’t hurt him. 

“Did I offend you?” You ask.

“‘Course not,” He takes a swig, “I just wish you would realize that it doesn’t matter what standards others hold you to. You are not someone else. You are you.” 

“I know that.” You respond dryly. Your answer didn’t sound as confident as you wanted it to be. It came out unsure and desperate. 

“Then why has your whole academic career been based on your relationship with one woman? Why must everything you do be for her?...” 

You stand there silently. Completely struck with emotions. Anger, sadness, discouragement.

“She… She made me who I am,” You pipe, “She’s the reason I am in this program.” 

He strolls back over to you, locking your eyes with his. It’s intimidating, this look he has on his face. He’s studying you, seeing how lost you feel. Truly for the first time you couldn’t even try to put up any walls. He had broken you down. 

He places his hand on your shoulder again, “Can I show you something?” He asks. 

Before you have time to even object to him, his hand moves from your shoulder to your waist, guiding you back towards his desk. You feel butterflies growing inside you. 

No. You can’t. You shouldn’t. He is your advisor. He is not someone you should feel this way about. He’s trying to help you, he’s not interested in you. 

The vinyl finishes its song and moves on to Something. He guides you into his seat. You place the glass down on the desk and wipe the condensation from your hands onto your thighs. He reaches over the desk and twirls the manuscript back in front of you. The pages sit open about two-thirds of the way through. He stands behind you, practically leaning on your back. His chest rests against your shoulder, pointing at the beginning of the page. 

“See this paragraph here?” He questions. 

You strain so hard to not melt at his touch. His hair is grazing your cheek. It smells wonderful, but you can’t admit that. He has this gentle but clean musk about him. He smells like a perfectly cared-for bookstore. A soft smell of tobacco and oak. The chains with pendants are draping over his neck, sparkling in the moonlight of the night, softly clanking together with his movement 

You need to focus. 

You respond, afraid that you waited too long, “Yes?” Your voice wavers, the lack of confidence creeping back through, “Is there something wrong with it?” 

He turns to face you, “Yes. I have a big problem with it.” 

You feel your heart sink. What could be wrong with it? The back half of the book is the best part, it is the part you feel most confident with. You feel confused. All of those walls and confidence you felt once in his presence were lost. 

“What…? What problem?” 

You look back at the pages, disregarding his closeness to you, pulling the bundle of paper back towards you, and flipping through to the previous pages. He puts his hand on yours, stopping you from searching. He lowers himself next to the seat, squatting to be at your eye level. His thumb wanders back and forth over your wrist. 

He smiles a crooked and cunning smile, “It’s some of the best writing I’ve seen in years, and the author was too scared to even share it with anyone. She lost someone and had to do this all on her own. That’s terrifying, but it’s still her work. ” 

You look at the hand holding yours. It’s strong but has a softness to it. It has a few rings sitting on them, but none a wedding band. You lower your head and release your wrist, grabbing it with your other hand. You sigh heavily and grasp your hands in front of the pages. Your hands travel up to hide your face, which presents a melancholic smile that you can’t let go of. You can’t tell if it’s the liquor or his presence, but you feel a glow coming from inside. 

You rush your hands past your face and through your hair, resting your hands on the back of your neck. Scoffing, you turn to look at him. His amused smile is irresistible. 

“You,” He starts, “Are an amazing writer.” His hand lifts from the pages and reaches up towards your cheek, holding your face in his palm, “And no matter who your teacher is, you can still do it on your own.”

Your hand finds its way up to his arm, holding him back. Staring longingly at each other. Both deep down knowing that this was about to lead down a path you couldn’t return from. 

“Professor-” You initiate.

“Jacob.” He replies. 

“Fine… Jacob. This- I… I don’t think.” 

He quickly removes his hand from your face and comes to his senses. “Oh, dear, um… I’m so sorry y/n… I…”

You let yourself slump in the seat. How could you? How could you squander that moment? After years of wishing to find a man who was at least half as interested in literature as you… Here you are throwing it away. But you could be right to do so. He was your professor, you were his assistant, the moral implications of this all… 

Jacob stands and leans back onto the desk, stroking his chin, concerned. Thinking about it all. You can see the nerves climbing through him. He feels embarrassed.

You reach your hand up to your face again, burying your emotions into your skin. 

“I just thought- I, fuck.” He continues, “I thought we were turning a corner, I was looking and I thought I saw you-” 

“You did.” You respond, “...I was looking.”

You lower your hand from your face to stare back at him. You put the manuscript back on the desk and stand. 

“You… You were?” He searches for the answer. 

“Jacob… For months I have looked. I didn’t want to like you. I didn’t want to admit that to myself. My mentor was my heart and soul, she was everything to me. I didn’t want to give you any chances because I didn’t want to lose someone like that again… I can’t handle that heartbreak. But…” You trail off. 

“But?” He inquires. 

You reach for the scotch glass and swirl the liquid around. Staring deep into the stormy amber. 

“Fuck it.” You take the last of the scotch into your mouth and turn back to Jacob, “You… You are what I’ve wanted. I can’t deny the way I feel when it’s just us. When I see you deep in thought, when you push me to go further; when you challenge me. When we’re alone, and I see you for the man you are. When I see how genuinely fucking amazing you are. And I’m so mad at myself for not opening myself to you.” 

Jacob peels himself off the desk and stances himself in front of you. He grabs your hands and holds them tenderly in his. You drop your head, your hair falling over your frustrated expression. 

“You were grieving, you wouldn’t have been ready for this.” He reaches his hand up to tuck your hair behind your ear. 

You look up to him with doe eyes. He was the older man, coming in for the prey. You wanted to be his. You wanted to have him. You wanted it. You denied it for months. You denied it from the moment you saw him. You denied yourself to knowing him in fear that this exact moment would happen. But here you were. Unveiling yourself to him in the very place you felt the first attraction. 

“I want to be ready. No, I am ready. I want this. I can’t deny myself happiness because of everything that happened,” You said. 

“Are you sure?” He asked. Trying to test you. 

You nod your head in approval, trying once again to keep the emotions bottled in. 

“I don’t want you to feel any pressure because-”

“Please don’t say it. I know. I know this is all morally fucked up, but I’m an adult, you’re an adult. Just treat me like one.”

He smiles, admiring your maturity, “If you want to do this, there are some things we have to settle first.” 

You look up at him confused, “Things? What things?” 

“More like rules,” He answers, titling his head playfully, “I need to know what you’re comfortable with. I don’t want to scare you even more than you already seem.” 

He returns his hand to hold your face, just like he previously had only moments before.

“I’m not scared Jacob. What rules?”

“As much as I like to be gentle with women, I also enjoy being rough.” He says through a velvety tone

You jolt back, at first fearful of his words, but relax quickly, reminding yourself you don’t need to be scared. 

“How rough are we talking…” You prod. 

The cunning smile returns across his face, “Don’t worry, I don’t leave marks, at least too bad of marks… And only rough enough that you’ll still be wanting more by the time we’re done.” 

You bite your lip at the thought. You’re no virgin at this point in your life, but you’ve never been able to explore this type of intimacy. Every man in college is practically an amateur at pleasuring women and even more so when it comes to exploration in sex. You’ve read plenty of books to know about the type of sex he was talking about. As much as you enjoyed the classics and the light-hearted romance, you still found yourself picking up a steamier romance book in private. 

You wanted that. Had practically dreamed about it before… 

Being here with this man, who was only a few years your senior, felt like you could practice this fantasy safely. He knew what he was doing, he could show you pleasures you didn’t even know you could enjoy. Even if you felt like you couldn’t learn more from your education with him, perhaps there were other things he could teach you. It was all becoming a bit too exciting. 

His hand moves slowly down from your cheek to your waist. His palms gently grazed your spine until they locked in on your love handles. 

“So,” He continues, “Are you going to be my good girl? Can you be good for me? Do you think you can take it?”

You reach out to his chest, moving aside his shirt which had barely been buttoned. With one swipe down his sternum, you unlatched all of them revealing his smooth golden skin. He watched you intently, seeing you explore his skin like never before. You traced your fingers along the opening, feeling your need to reach more grow. With each second that passed you felt the insatiable thirst to be close to him; to feel him. His grip on your waist tightened with each pass you made over his chest. 

His other hand joined him on your opposite side. You feared that your hips may break with his excited hold. You looked up at him, biting your lip, trying to remain coy. That soft smile appeared on his lips; you had answered with your body language. 

He pushes his hands further into you and lifts you onto the desk, your ass barely resting on the edge of the wood. 

“Words,” He said, pulling himself closer into you, resting perfectly between your legs, “Nothing’s going to happen until you tell me you want it to. This isn’t going to work sweetheart unless you use your words.”

“Jacob-” Are the only breathy words that you can mutter. 

You can feel him growing, feel the linen pants barely holding back his excitement. You feel your heartbeat travel from your chest, down into your stomach, into your… 

His hand moves up to your jaw, holding it firmly in his grip, “Y/N, follow the instructions. Words. I’m not going to wait much longer.” 

“Yes-”

Before you can even finish he’s pulling you into an embrace. Your lips meet his. The soft taste of scotch remaining on both of you created an intoxicating addicting feeling. It was complete passion, complete neediness to be one. His tongue introduces itself into your mouth… Soft, wet. Beckoning. The noises you both are making sound feral, completely unusual for the both of you. What once was a prim and proper relationship between you became a fervent desperation to touch… To fuck. 

His hands traveled down your body, first reaching your chest, grasping you completely in his hand. Rolling his palms over the front of your breasts, driving you completely mad. You wished the barriers of clothing had been completely stripped away, but he was too hungry to even keep you waiting for long. His hands reached under your shirt, plowing underneath the wire of your bra to find your naked breasts. A soft relieving moan escaped your lips through the breaths of the kissing. 

You reached your hands out to find the remainder of the buttons of his vest closing you off to his body. You made quick work of unbuttoning them, reaching your hands across his midsection; climbing to his back. Reaching up towards his shoulders, feeling the softness of his skin across the pads of your fingers. God, he was perfect. 

His fingers traveled to your nipples, running his thumb and forefinger over the bud of your nipples. Before you could even realize what you were doing, your nails dragged down his back, raking into his skin. He paused the kissing for a moment to let out a moaning growl. He slid his hands out from your bra, slipping down to the edges of your shirt, attempting to tug it off as fast as he could. You snatched your hands out of his shirt to raise them over your head, giving him complete access to strip you. 

He placed his hand between your breasts and forced you down onto the desk, your head falling onto the manuscript below you. He shook off his vest and was quick to pull his shirt off. 

“Seems like I’m not the only one who likes it rough, huh?” He asked. 

You lifted your head from the desk, “No, definitely not.” You responded. Unsure where this untamed version of you had even come from. 

“No, sir” He stated, pushing you back down. 

“What?” You asked, skeptical of what he meant.    

He mounted himself once again between your legs, grinding himself into you. He traced his finger down your neck, to the waistline of your pants.

“Sir… That’s what my good girls going to call me, okay?” 

You rolled your eyes, unaware that you were even doing so, “Call me Jacob,” you mock, “Call me sir.”

He reached back up to your jaw, pushing his thumb into your cheek, “If you’re going to be a brat we’re going to need to set some more rules. Good girls don’t get punished, but you’re already testing me.”

Completely stunned, you look back at him trying to emulate a softness, an apology. You had to admit though, you weren’t scared of him… If anything you were more turned on by the thought of his punishments. 

“And how would you punish me, sir?” You ask in your best sultry voice. 

He let out a low grumbling laugh. He studied your body, not even acknowledging your question, just thinking… Thinking of what he would do to you. He grabbed onto your hips and pulled you hard into his cock. There was no wondering anymore. You could feel how large he was, how excited he was. If your own body wasn’t blocking it you could probably see it entirely. 

“Maybe,” He starts, “Maybe you’re not going to be my good girl,” His hands dig deeper into your waist, “Maybe, you’re going to be my little slut.” 

The word echoed through the room. It sent a shiver down your spine, but not the feeling of being displeased, it was a feeling of being right. Being here with him, being under his control, felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off your shoulders. He could see you in a way that someone hasn’t seen you for months. He was learning every inch of you and would learn even more as the night went on. 

He leaned down from his high position to plant gentle kisses along your neck. Gingerly leaving behind little reminders of passion. 

“-And if you’re going to be my slut,” He whines through breathy kisses, “you need to know the safe words.” 

You run your hands up to his hair, feeling the soft strands between your fingers. Tracing his scalp over your fingertips. You don’t want to go this slow, the breaks are killing you. You just want to feel him. You want to feel him on you, in you, taking you completely as his own. 

His kisses finally reach the band of your jeans, but that doesnt stop him from exploring further. He pulls down on the jeans to reveal more of your stomach, delivering gentle almost tickling kisses. 

“Green,” He whispers, “Means you like it… You don’t want me to stop.”

His hand travels over to the button of your jeans, popping the metal away from the denim. Your eyes follow him, watching his hair fall over your stomach, the metal of his necklace chilling your bare skin. His shoulders look strong here, masculine, powerful. Watching him focus so intently on you is killing you. This is a man unlike any other that you’ve been with, he’s focused on treating you first, even if there were some other pleasures in it for him. 

“Yellow,” The zipper slowly starts to unravel as he pulls your pants further down, “Means you need me to slow down… If you need a break…” 

Your pants steadily fall off of your legs, finally being exposed to him entirely until they fall onto the floor. The only thing separating you from him now is your thong. Which you are now praising yourself for wearing today. He resumes his consuming kisses across your midsection, joining back down where he had left off. His hands slip underneath him to grab the edges of the lace, sliding off the thong with ease. 

His kisses start to graze you closer to your… 

He stops and lifts himself. His hand leads up to your mouth, putting his pointer and middle finger into your mouth. You accept them, excited for what it means. 

“Red.” His voice develops a more serious tone, “Means stop.” 

He removes his now slick fingers from your mouth, returning them down below. His fingers reach your cunt, and you welcome him with excitement of your own. Your body is in shambles waiting, wanting to know what it feels like. His fingers dance across your aching clit, his thumb padding the bundle of nerves, sending shockwaves through your deprived body. A loud distressed moan escapes you, you can’t help but express your enthusiasm. 

“Don’t worry sir,” You shudder through achy moans, “I don’t think I’ll need to use that one.”

“Good girl.”

Without any hesitation his fingers breach you, filling you up. He stands over you, watching you grow with the agony of pleasure. Your breath hitches with each pump, your back arching with each lift of his fingers. His thumb traces back over your clit, stimulating every inch of you. 

Every attempt at communicating the feeling faulters, except for, “Oh fuck-” 

Your body is shaking with each movement. He’s painting the perfect picture of an orgasm with just one hand. The power he holds, the knowledge he has. He knew how to please you better than you knew how to. 

His free hand makes its way around your neck, gripping it, holding you in place so he can work harder at you. You’ve never been choked before, it’s a completely new sensation. The gasps for air were something you thought you’d fear, but instead, you were wishing he’d hold on harder. 

“Green?” He asks, looking for permission. 

You nodded your head ferociously  

You feel yourself completely letting go under his control, something you feared once to let him have all the power. But here, now, held down to his desk… You never wanted it to stop. 

“Words.” He barked. 

Your hand reaches up to hold his wrist, “Yes, yes…” 

“Yes, what?” He asks again, his fingers slowing their movement. Clearly, he wouldn’t be letting you get away with anything. You had to be obedient and do as he told you.

“Yes… Please, Sir,” You beg. 

The words were getting harder to communicate. If he could finger you into oblivion, you might let him if it meant you could feel this good again. 

He smiled in approval and resumed his previous pace. Steadily building faster, and faster. Harder and harder. You could feel how wet you were becoming, it really didn’t take much for him to draw the excitement out of you. The swirls of his fingers and the vigor of his motions were precise… Calculated, trying to accomplish only one mission; and he was close to succeeding. 

Your moaning only got more frequent and louder, you couldn’t hold back. The pleasure was far too great to stay quiet. He almost let you be loud too, only for a few moments before reminding you of your location. He lifted his hand off your neck to lift a single finger to his lips and then pointed around the room. 

“If my good girl can’t stay quiet, I’ll have to make her. We don’t want anyone spoiling all the fun.”

You nod your head, remembering you were still in his office. Your surroundings had escaped you completely; only thinking of him and you. 

His thumb started to apply more pressure, practically begging for you for more. A softer moan forced its way out, helpless to be silenced. His hand plasters itself over your mouth, holding you silent. The pads of his fingers resting deep into your cheeks. 

“I know baby, it’s so hard… You’re gonna be so good and come for me now, okay?” 

Finally being relieved of speaking, you nod your head, ready for the climax. His fingers dive upward, grazing the sweet spot buried inside of you. The pressure, the sensation it’s all too much. You feel your belly tighten, your back arching. He’s trying to hold you steady as you writhe in pleasure. There’s no stopping anything now. 

“Do it baby, come on… Be a good little slut for me…”

Your eyes roll deep back into your head. You feel the sweet sensation of release wash over you. Like a wave of ecstasy, traveling from your toes, past your aching clit, through your belly, all the way to your head. Stifled moans slip through the cracks of his fingers. His fingers stay at their steady pace, pushing past your orgasm. You feel yourself dripping around him. You’ve never come this hard in your life, you’ve never felt the devotion to make you feel this good. Your body is quivering around him, unable to shake the overstimulation. You’re squeezing onto his wrist, trying to come down easy, but everything he’s doing is making the sensations crash into you. 

He takes his hand away from your mouth and you immediately gasp for air, trying to find serenity. 

“Oh god,” You moan, “How did you-”

He shuts you up by taking his mouth to your soaked cunt, sliding his tongue through the mess he made. You place your hands beside you to sit up slightly. This was a sight you did not want to miss. You take his hair in your hands and tuck it aside. Each stripe of his tongue makes you wince, you want him to stop, but you can’t let him. It feels too good. It’s too much but just the right amount all at once. 

He was consuming you, desperate to explore every inch of you. Wildly eating you up, trying to capture every last drop of his work. You were spilling into him, it was never-ending.  It was like you weren’t even there; everything except your pusy. This was a high that you never wanted to come down from. He was devoted to keeping you there as long as he could, but you couldn’t hold on for more. 

You fell back onto the desk, squirming through it all. He had you right where he wanted you. You let yourself fall into him, trying to take it all. Your hands reach over the desk, trying to find somewhere to hang onto, but instead knocking the scotch glass off the desk. Shattering loudly beneath you. 

Jacob didn’t stop though, he was completely distracted, locked in. You couldn’t take it anymore. 

“Yellow.. Yellow..” You begged, completely overstimulated and shocked. How could you even ask for that?... But it was impossible to withstand any more sensation. 

He stopped slowly, easing you out of the enjoyment. His hands reached up over your thighs and rested on your hips, slowly petting them with his thumbs. He looked up at you through glazed-over eyes, completely drunk on your arousal. He didn’t want it to end. 

Slowly raising himself back to a standing position, you could see how hard he had gotten. He felt just as much pleasure as you did. He was completely lost, coming back to reality. Chin dripping with your wetness… 

He leaned back over you and kissed you sloppily. The passion was more fiery than before. You did something to him and he did even more to you. It was strange to taste yourself on his lips, but exciting nonetheless. You were caught up together. Complete and one at that moment. And then it all stopped… 

Footsteps approached outside the classroom. You both stopped. He removed himself from your lips and raised his head to listen. 

A knock at the classroom door. 

“Hello?” Someone called out. 

There was no mistaking that someone was in this office, between the music, the glass breaking… They knew. 

“Everything okay in here Kiszka?” 

“Fuck,” he mutters under his breath. He stands and reaches for his shirt, buttoning it with no haste. He grabs your shirt and pants and kicks them under the desk, “Go, get underneath the desk,” He whispers, “Now.”

[the-case-book-of-fanfiction]

Bob Seger

Ship: Steve Harrington x fem!reader

Summary: Is there a handbook for what to do when your crush walks into your store to buy a gift for his girlfriend? There should be!

Word Count: 5,432 words

Warnings: Stancy, Steve being deeply in love and then getting his heart broken, brief mention of Steve's asshole dad, pining reader, hurt/comfort, Tommy & Carol, language, innuendo

Note: Inspired in part by Steve's rendition of Old Time Rock & Roll.

☟ Continue below the fold ☟

Nancy hadn't been herself, not since Barb disappeared, and her mood had only been getting worse every day. Steve could feel her retreating into herself, hiding from the world and from herself and from him. He could feel Tommy and Carol getting progressively more frustrated with her (and with him for putting up with it) with every passing day.

And it's not like Steve blamed Nancy. Her best friend had gone missing while Nancy hung out with people Barb wasn't the biggest fan of. And, to rub salt in an open wound, Nancy had been having sex with Steve while Barb disappeared.

Steve felt a little guilty, to say the least. He'd had the thought of If I hadn't wanted to sleep with Nancy so bad, she would have gone home with Barb and they'd both be safe. But after a while, he wasn't so sure about that. The longer he thought about it, the more he became convinced that if Nancy had gone with Barb, they both would have gone missing.

Whether it was through his own guilt or because he wanted to make Nancy feel better, he wasn't quite sure, Steve found himself driving to the record store just off Main Street after school got out. He'd blocked out the noise of Tommy and Carol bickering, Tommy in the passenger seat and Carol leaning forward from the back seat, too busy trying to remember which bands had played from the radio the night he was studying at Nancy's house, and whether or not Nancy had actually liked them. He didn't want to screw up his little surprise by getting her music she wouldn't listen to—or a vinyl she already owned. Maybe he should have discreetly snooped through her pile of records before he'd made up his mind to do this...

Tommy sharply elbowed Steve in the ribs. Before Steve could snap at him, he said, "You're overthinking this, man. She's either gonna pretend to love it and not actually care, or she's just gonna not care."

Behind them, Carol giggled. It sounded far more sinister than it should have.

Steve glared at him for a second before he made the turn into the store's parking lot. "You're no help, you realize that?" He parked the car and turned to the two of them. "You're gonna stay here and wait, got it? And don't do anything stupid, I'll make you clean the back seat this time."

Carol grinned. "What if it's the passenger seat?"

"Or the driver's," Tommy added, leaning back to kiss Carol, before Steve could snap that the passenger's seat was Nancy's seat. Steve felt his throat constrict.

"Do not get it on in my fucking car," he warned, "or I'm never driving you anywhere ever again."

He got out, slamming the door behind him, and sent a warning glare back over his shoulder. Tommy flipped him off through the windshield. Beside Steve, an elderly woman gasped in offense and Steve winced.

"Sorry about him," he muttered, but the woman was already scurrying off into her own vehicle. Steve sighed and pushed open the front door to the record shop.

A little bell above the door chimed once as he swung the door open, and then again as it closed behind him. Steve had only been in the store a handful of times, but he loved it more and more with every visit. The walls were plastered in old vinyls, displayed so that the name of each band was readable. No vinyl was the same color, some of them blue, some red, some multicolor, but all of them were different. A small gold plaque designated the oldest vinyl the store had on the walls, which was a reddish Vocalion from 1922 and was positioned directly above the door.

Rows and rows of alphabetized vinyls spread throughout the store, which was bigger than it looked from the storefront. In the lefthand corner nearest the door, a cashier's desk was set up, though there was no employee behind it. A plastic sign read I'm in the back! I'll be back soon!

Steve headed for the aisles of vinyls, then recognized what was playing over the speakers—Bob Seger's Night Moves.

Humming as he flipped through the stacks, Steve didn't notice the door to the back open, or you walk out of it and back to your desk.

"Mmm, sweet summertime, summertime," Steve sang, keeping his voice low, still embarrassed by his voice, an instinct his father made sure he would never shake.

But you heard it, even with the volume of the radio. You looked up from the desk, gaze scanning the rows. You spotted the back of Steve's head and recognized him immediately. That hair was unmistakable.

Heat burned in your belly. Suddenly, you really wished your coworker hadn't gone home just ten minutes earlier, complaining of nausea. If she'd just stuck around a few more minutes...you wouldn't have to face your long-time crush who was absolutely not available, happily dating Nancy Wheeler and unlikely to leave her any time soon.

You resisted the urge to hide your face in your hands. Sure, you'd liked him since middle school, long before he'd become part of the popular crowd and back when his hair was still a mess that hid his eyes from the world, and yes, you had two classes with him, but it's not like he'd know who you were, right? You'd keep relative anonymity and he would remain none the wiser of your long-standing admiration of him.

But then the song changed to The Fire Down Below and Steve was shimmying where he stood, singing the line "Here comes hot Nancy, she's steppin' right on time" with the hugest grin on his face.

You sighed. The school, your best friends, the entire senior year was right—Steve Harrington was down bad for Nancy Wheeler.

The tiniest bit of hope that he might one day notice you was dashed every time you heard that loving croon of his voice every time he sang Nancy's name.

This is why we don't get our hopes up, you told yourself, echoing a sentiment your best friend had drilled into you ever since Steve became the ladies' man that made him so popular in high school. Not that it erased the previous middle school years of drooling over Steve, back before anyone else had really considered him attractive.

You watched as Steve meticulously went through every record in the store, clearly searching for something specific. You normally would have gotten up and approached a customer taking this long, but it was Steve. You knew the instant you got up from your stool, your legs would give out underneath you. And if that didn't happen, you'd walk into a shelf on your way over to him. And if that didn't happen either, you'd start stuttering the moment you tried to talk to him. And if that didn't happen, you'd turn bright red and combust on the spot when he either asked for your help or turned you away.

Too stuck in your head, you didn't even realize the record had stopped playing until you heard Steve's singing stop. A pang went through you at the sound of silence—Steve's voice was almost more soothing than the music itself.

You turned around and dug through your pile of vinyls the store let you play until you found another Bob Seger—the album he'd released last year. Steve had been singing Bob Seger, and you desperately wanted him to keep singing.

You cleaned off the record before placing the needle down. A few bars into Even Now, you turned back around and squeaked, jumping in surprise.

Steve was standing at your desk, a pleasant but awkward smile on his face.

"Uh...hi," he said. "Sorry if I scared you."

You blinked at him and cleared your throat, hoping your voice didn't come out squeaky. "It's...it's fine. Can I help you with something?"

"Uh, please, I'm looking for—" He snapped his fingers. "You're in my chemistry class, aren't you?" You nodded, meekly adding that you were also in English together, and he beamed. "I knew I recognized you from somewhere!"

"Yeah, uh... Hi, Steve," you said. "You said you were looking for...?"

Steve shook himself out. "Oh, yeah, um... I'm trying to find a record for Nancy, my girlfriend, because I want to cheer her up after...everything. I'm sure you've heard about it."

The tiredness in his voice surprised you. But you nodded without bringing it up. "I have. How's she holding up?"

Steve sighed. "Not...fantastically. That's why I'm doing this, I want to get her something to take her mind off things."

You raised your brows. "So you decided on a record?"

Steve shrugged, his cheeks turning a soft shade of pink. "I thought it would be something we could dance to, and that that might make her feel better."

Your heart squeezed. How are you so sweet? "Alright, makes sense. What does she like to listen to usually?"

Steve shut his eyes as if thinking for a moment, then said, "She likes ABBA and Michael Jackson, she has a Fleetwood Mac tape but only ever listens to Rhiannon, but she sings under her breath every time Journey comes on the radio, doesn't matter what song it is. She's got Madonna, Bowie, Blondie, and The Beatles already as tapes and vinyls, so I don't want to get her those."

You blinked at him. "You really do pay attention to everything, don't you?"

Steve smiled shyly. "I...I guess so, when it comes to Nancy."

You left the back of the desk, hoping you weren't visibly shaking too much. "Let's go find you a Journey vinyl, okay? They just released a new album a few months ago, I'm pretty sure we've got it on vinyl..."

Steve followed you to the J section and the two of you started flipping through, both of you softly singing along to Love's The Last To Know as you did.

Halfway through the song and completely through the Js section, you interrupted the song with a gasp.

"I know where it is! Wait here," you told him, and hurried into the back room. You dug through the most recently delivered box of records until you saw the familiar blue album cover of Frontiers, letting out a victory cry as you grabbed it.

Steve was leaning on the shelf, still singing "We lost our way and our love's the last to know" so mournfully you wondered what heartbreak he'd been through before.

"I got it!" you said, grinning and holding the record aloft.

Steve beamed. "Thanks! I really appreciate it. I know I was kind of...out of my depth for a bit there."

You shrugged. "Eh, that's nothing. I've had people come in here demanding records we don't carry from bands that only just released music." You rolled your eyes. "'No, sir, we don't carry Metallica, and even if we did, the album came out last week, so we wouldn't have it yet anyway!'"

Steve snorted with laughter, handing you cash to pay for the vinyl. "Let me guess, it was the Munson kid."

"The Munson kid," you confirmed.

"Thanks again," Steve said, though he didn't seem inclined to head out the door.

"Any time," you said, instantly regretting the words because if you saw Steve at your workplace more than this, you were going to have a heart attack, but you paired the words with a kind smile anyway.

"See you in class tomorrow," he said, stepping out the door and waving goodbye. You watched him go, putting the record in the back seat, snapping at Tommy and Carol in his car, and pulling out of the parking lot.

You let go a tense, nervous breath. The pain in your chest eased. Well, at least Steve knew of you now. And even if his dedication to Nancy was unfailing, at least you might get to talk to him now, even if it only worsened the ache in your heart.

~❊~

Steve skipped third block.

The entire school seemed to be talking about why—or at least, his entire gym class, who had told a story about Billy Hargrove getting in his face the entire basketball game, and then Nancy dragging him out of the class to "talk" about something. At first, everyone had assumed they were banging in the locker rooms, until somebody reminded them Nancy hadn't been in first block, and she never skipped, and that Steve usually drove her to school—but he hadn't missed first block. Then when he'd come back, upset and angry, from his talk with Nancy, people started to put a story together.

You weren't sure you wanted to believe the story, or the many versions of the story, that were floating around you chemistry class. It didn't line up with what you knew of Steve, or what you knew of his relationship with Nancy, most of which you heard straight from him.

But then again...

You shook yourself out of your head, your gaze straying back toward Steve's empty seat. You sighed, pulling your notebook toward you and copying down the notes on the board as neat as you could—undoubtedly you'd need to give them to Steve when he decided to come back to class.

But when your best friend came into the class, handing your teacher a doctor's note, her wide eyes already told you Steve wasn't coming back today.

She sat down beside you, hissing your name. You looked at her. "What? What's wrong?"

"Is there a reason I just saw Steve Harrington crying in his car?" she whispered to you.

Your eyes went huge. Whatever had happened between him and Nancy, it wasn't good. "Keep your voice down and don't tell anyone else about that," you said.

She flipped her notebook to a blank page and started writing. "You better fill me in on everything I missed today," she said.

"Obviously, but only once I know exactly what happened," you said. "Which means only once Steve tells me what happened. However long that takes."

~❊~

It became painfully clear that Steve didn't want to talk—to anyone. He snapped at anyone who tried to bring it up with him, and his mood was waspish. The situation was made worse by the rumors spread by Tommy and Carol—that Nancy had only been with Steve for his money and the sex; that she left because Steve wasn't good enough for her; that she was cheating on him with Jonathan.

You knew that the jibes about Jonathan hit Steve a little too close to home. The same rumor had circulated last year when Will and Barb went missing, but this time, you were almost positive they were true.

Nancy was entirely unbothered by the whole thing. Seeing her prance around with Jonathan, not caring that doing so was hurting Steve more than anything, made your blood boil.

On your way to the record store for another one of your slow closing shifts, a week after Steve skipped chem class, you saw the two of them walking together along the sidewalk. You rolled your eyes at them. You had once thought Nancy to be the luckiest girl in the world: smart, pretty, and dating the hottest man Hawkins had to offer. Now you were certain she was the most careless, throwing it all away for a mediocre man.

Steve's car was in the store's parking lot when you arrived. You parked next to him, looking over to find him in the driver's seat, staring into his lap.

You got out and knocked on his window. "Steve? You okay?" He looked up, sporting red-rimmed eyes. You could hear Bob Seger's Comin' Home playing quietly on his radio. "Oh, Steve..."

Steve got out of his car. Voice quiet and rough, he asked, "Can I hang out for a while?"

"Yeah," you said. "Whatever you need."

His lip trembled. "A...a hug?" His voice as meek and barely there. But you heard it and the request made your heart break. You enveloped him in a tight hug, letting him soften into your hold. You remained that way until Steve decided he was done, not caring how many of your classmates walked by, staring in wonder at Steve clinging to you, new gossip already burning on their tongues.

~❊~

A good day meant boppier music at the record store as soon as you started your shift and shoved your coworker from the mid-afternoon shift out the door. So you swapped out all the mellow music in the stack of records beside your record player with music with a good beat that you could dance to while you restocked and reshelved.

Not even half an hour into your shift, the Naked Eyes record spun into Always Something There To Remind Me. You turned up the volume as high as you could without destroying the speakers and being chewed out by your managers, singing along and dancing by yourself while you worked.

"Well, how can I forget you, girl? When there is always something there to remind me!" You finished stacking your records in the aisle and turned back for a new pile. "Always something there to remind me. I was born to love her, and I'll never be free, you'll always be a part of— Steve!" You careened into his chest, grateful you weren't holding anything, because it all would have dropped to the floor. Steve's arms looped around you, stopping you from falling. "Don't sneak up on me, you scared me!"

"The doorbell rung!"

"Well, I didn't hear it!" You finally looked up at him, heart beating wildly out of your chest at the feeling of his chest against yours, his arms around your waist. You realized he looked downright miserable. "What happened?"

He sighed. "Remember how I said I was gonna try and patch things up with Nance?"

"Yeah..."

Steve's lower lip started to tremble. "It...it didn't go well."

Your heart dropped to your feet. "Oh, Steve, I'm...I'm so sorry."

He sniffled. "It's, uh, it's over. She...she doesn't love me, has never loved me, I'm still bullshit, and she's been sleeping with Jonathan. So..." He heaved a heavy sigh. "It's over. Completely, totally, officially over."

"Steve," you whispered. "I'm so sorry, honey. Is there anything I can do?"

He smiled, lips trembling and eyes watering. "Change the song?" The words came out with a little hiccup and a laugh.

You realized what the song was about. "Oh! Yeah, sure, right—sorry. It's such an upbeat song in the actual music, I didn't even think about the words!" You untangled yourself from his arms to change the record. "What are you in the mood for?"

"Nothing romantic, please," he said, sitting down on your stool. "And, after you're done..."

You looked at him, sensing his hesitation. "Yeah?"

"Can I have another hug?"

You smiled at him, looping your arms around his back where he sat. He fell into you, burying his head in your shirt. "Of course, Steve."

You held onto Steve as tightly as he held onto you, praying he wouldn't notice the fast beat of your heart while he wallowed in his grief. It was a strange feeling, for Steve to be hiding from the world, form Nancy, from his broken heart in your arms, all while you harbored a horribly deep crush on him and a secret, guilty delight that it was over with Nancy.

"I just..." Steve huffed, clearly trying his best not to sob into your shirt. "I don't know where I went wrong. I don't know why I wasn't good enough."

Without really meaning to, you put your hand in Steve's hair. "Does there need to be a reason? Some people just aren't meant for each other, Steve."

Steve looked up at you with his red rimmed eyes, tears on his lash line. He hesitated a moment and then said, "If I tell you something...promise me you won't just...laugh at me."

Your heart broke for him. How many times had he told Tommy or Carol or, what the hell, even Nancy something, only to be laughed at, for him to ask that of you? "Of course I won't laugh at you, Steve." You squeezed his shoulder. "Why would I laugh at you?"

He didn't answer your question. "I know it sounds...ridiculous, but...I just—" He sighed. "I thought Nancy was the one. I've never been happier with a girl before, and she was honest, she was smart, she was determined, she had goals, she was nothing like the girls I was with before, and she made me feel alive! I thought for sure that I was... That I was maybe gonna spend the rest of my life with her."

You bit your lip. "There was no maybe about it, was there, Steve?"

He sighed, letting his head fall back into you. You muffled your grunt as he hid his face in your stomach, his arms sliding up your back and hold you closer to him. "No," he mumbled into the fabric of your shirt.

You smoothed your hand through his perfect hair and kissed the top of his head. You froze, hearing his tiny intake of breath. "Oh, I'm...I'm sorry, that was kind of...automatic, I guess?"

Steve peeked up at you and tugged you closer to his body until your feet hit the legs of your stool he was perched on. "It's okay. Um... Can you...keep doing that? With my hair?" Pink tinged his skin. "If you don't mind."

"I don't mind," you whispered, rubbing your fingers across his scalp. He sighed, pushing into your touch. Heat bloomed across your body.

"Sorry," he whispered. "I know this is...weird. But, um, Nancy never... Never really touched me or— Or held me or anything, so..."

"You don't have to explain yourself," you whispered. "Not to me, not to anyone. Okay?"

"Okay," he agreed, slowly relaxing in your arms.

"I've got you, Steve," you assured him. "I've got you."

~❊~

Before he'd even pulled into the parking lot, Steve was mentally apologizing to you. You'd told him time and time again when he visited you while you were working that you enjoyed your slow closing shifts. It meant there was no one to bother you while you were in the middle of a restock, making you forget where you were; it meant there was no one to complain about the music you played, so you could listen to whatever you wanted; it meant your final hour was spent just closing up shop instead of shooing customers out the door—except for Steve, who had become a regular and always stayed until you left, sometimes to give you a ride home and other times just to have a friend around.

But today, he wasn't coming alone. His car was full to bursting with young children: Dustin, Max, Lucas, Mike, and Will, all of whom he'd been tasked with picking up from their after school activities for the day. He had tried to get them to go home quickly, but his attempts to rush them out of his car had led them to discover that he was seeing a girl, which they all took the wrong way, of course.

Sort of.

Now that Steve was prowling the world alone again, he'd realized his initial estimation of you—pretty, smiley, shy with new people but confident with your friends—was right, but it was a muted reality compared to how you really were. It was like he'd been looking at you with sunglasses covering his eyes this whole time. Now that those glasses were gone, the record shop girl had become more than just his best friend.

And he was really hoping the kids were not about to point that out.

As per usual, you were playing Bob Seger when Steve pushed the door open. He'd yet to figure out if you played Bob Seger so much when he came to visit because you loved Bob Seger, or if you had (correctly) pinned Steve as a fan.

(Not that Steve had ever told anyone he was a fan; he let them think the only reason he even knew about his music was because of Carol's obsession with Risky Business.)

You weren't at your desk like Steve had expected; you were carrying a huge stack of records in your arms, shelving them as you walked along the rows, singing along to Sunspot Baby without a care in the world.

"Sunspot baby," you sang. "She sure had a real good time."

"I looked in Miami, I looked in Negril," Steve joined in. You turned with a grin, heading back to your desk. "The closest I came was a month old bill."

You noticed the kids as you put down your stack. "You brought company today, I see."

Steve gave you a look while the kids were still behind him. You stifled a giggle. "Uh, yeah, these are the kids. Dustin Henderson, Lucas Sinclair, Max Mayfield, Will Byers, and Mike Wheeler."

Dustin walked straight up to your desk. "So you're the girl Steve talks about all the time?"

"All the time, huh?" you said, smiling in a way that suggested you were sure Dustin was exaggerating.

"Every time we see him," Mike groaned. You stared at the younger Wheeler in surprise.

"Oh, really? Is that so, Steve?" you teased.

He rolled his eyes, unable to stop his blush. "Sorry to interrupt your quiet shift. They wanted to stop in and grab some records."

"No we didn't—we just wanted to meet you," Lucas said. Steve's calm expression became painfully forced.

The young redhead snorted. "Speak for yourself." She looked up at you expectantly. "Do you have any David Bowie?"

You grinned. "I like you, you have good taste. Back side of the first row."

Max grinned and dragged Lucas with her.

You looked back at Steve. "Do you have enough room in your car for one more?"

"Need a ride when you leave?"

You nodded.

"Yeah, I've got room. I'll just make the kids rearrange."

You laughed. "You don't have to do that," you insisted.

Steve leaned across the counter. "Don't worry about it—I want to. I'd feel terrible if I left you to get home on your own."

You smiled at him, noticing Dustin nudging Mike and Will and pointing in your direction out of the corner of your eye.

~❊~

Somehow, the kids' presence lightened up the rest of your shift. Time passed quickly with them there, adventuring through the store and asking you question after question about the vinyls lining the walls.

You waved off Steve as he tried to get the kids to leave you alone. "They're fine, Steve. It's okay. You wanna help me get everything packed up? I've gotta lock up soon."

"Oh, yeah, sure." Steve took the vinyl off the record player and slipped it back into its case. He glanced over his shoulder and called to the kids, "Hey, guys! We're gonna head out soon."

You ran through your closing tasks as quickly as you could, anxious to head home for the night.

"Alright, everybody out. Got everything?" you asked, ushering the kids to the door and taking out the key. You set the alarm system for the building and locked the door behind you.

Steve put a hand on your back. Warmth bloomed through you from where he touched you. "You're all ready to go?"

You nodded, not trusting yourself to speak.

The kids opened the doors of Steve's car, jumping in quickly. Dustin made his way to the passenger's seat. Steve stopped him, gently shoving him toward the back seat with everyone else.

"Hey—move it, Henderson, she's got the passenger's seat."

You stared at Steve. "No, no, it's okay, he can—"

Steve shook his head, holding open the door for you. "Come on, it's fine, just..." He gestured into the car. The kids whispered and giggled at him. He sent them a glare and Dustin's annoyed face shifted into a gleeful smirk.

You got in the front seat, unaware of the glances being exchanged in the back or the glare Steve was giving them.

"Seat belts!" Steve said as he got into the driver's seat. You giggled at him as the kids groaned. You caught the way his face lit up when he looked at you, and butterflies tickled your insides.

Once the kids had listened and all were buckled, Steve pulled out of the parking lot and started his way through Hawkins, dropping them off one-by-one: Will first, on the outskirts of town, his mother waiting at the door; Max, who was relieved the Camaro wasn't in the driveway; Dustin next, his new cat sitting on the front step; Lucas, who was immediately met with his snarky young sister; Mike last, Nancy already at the door—saying goodbye to Jonathan.

You glanced at Steve. "You alright?"

Steve looked at you, releasing a deep sigh. "I'm okay," he said. "I...I'm doing better now."

"Good," you said. "You deserve it."

Steve gave you a curious look before he said, "Let's get you home, right?"

"Right."

And if Steve drove slower the whole way back to yours compared to driving the kids home, you weren't going to say anything.

When he got back to your house, Steve pulled into the driveway and sighed. "Well. Home sweet home," he said.

You looked at Steve with a smile. "Thanks for the ride home." You picked up the bag you had put on the ground. You got out, then stopped yourself before you could close the door. You crouched to look at him in the car. "Hey, Steve?"

"Yeah?" Was it just your imagination, or did he sound nervous?

You took a deep breath. Now or never.

"I talk about you all the time, too."

For a moment, Steve processed your words. Then his eyes went wide. Hope bloomed on his slack-jawed face. "You..." He bit his lip, holding back a smile. "You mean that you..."

"Yes, Steve," you said, voice quiet. "Always have. Just ask my friends—they'll give away my secrets just as quickly as Dustin gave away yours." You drummed your fingers against the roof of his car. "Do with that what you will. It's up to you if...you want to even acknowledge it or not." You closed his door and started for your front door.

A door squeaked and then slammed shut moments later; running steps approached you.

"Wait!"

You turned as Steve's hand fell on your shoulder, pulling you close to him. He yanked your body close to his, his arms sliding around you, his hands gripping your shoulder blades. For a split second, you reveled in his hug, noticing the difference in it, relishing in the love in his arms instead of the misery.

Those few seconds became nothing as Steve pulled back. You gave a sound of protest, quickly squashed by Steve's lips.

Your heart had stopped beating, but was simultaneously pounding. You moved on instinct, looping your arms around his shoulders, yanking him down to you. Never once did your lips part from his as the two of you grappled to hold each other in the best way possible.

Thunder boomed overhead. You gasped, pulling apart.

"Was it supposed to storm?" you asked.

"I didn't think so," Steve said.

You kissed him again. Steve smiled into the kiss.

"You should get home before it pours," you whispered against his lips. But neither of you made any move to let go of each other.

Steve adjusted so that his head was against yours, his mouth at your temple. "See you tomorrow in class, then?"

You hummed. "Yeah. Tomorrow."

Steve pressed a kiss to your forehead. "I don't wanna leave."

You looked up at the sky, watching the already-grey skies grow darker as storm clouds rolled in. "We're going to get soaked if we stay out here, Steve."

Steve squeezed you tightly. "Tomorrow, then." He kissed your forehead again. "I'll see you tomorrow...sweetheart."

You beamed at the nickname while Steve blushed while he gave you the moniker.

"And to think," you whispered. "You'd known me all this time, but this? This happened all because you stopped in my store one day."

Steve hugged you tight to his chest. "I wish I'd noticed you before, sweetheart, really I do."

You kissed him. "Well, you've noticed me now." Light rain started, dusting Steve's hair until it sparkled. "Now go, before that pretty hair of yours gets ruined."

He grinned, brushing his hand through it. "I knew you liked my hair."

"Always have." You pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. "Always will."

☞ ❊ ☜

Stranger Things // Steve Harrington

part 2? lmk!

Taglist: {comment and let me know if you'd like to be added to the S.H. taglist!} @ohatropa@nix-rose@live-the-fangirl-life

[yeosbbm]

dont go to bed angry….

Smut | MDNI

genre/tags: bestfriends to strangers (??) to lovers/college au

pairing: stem major! fem reader x dance major! woo

summary/plot: you and wooyoung have been bffs since you came to seoul for college. you two have been inseparable and are always there for each other. however, when you have a serious upcoming exam where you need woo the most he’s.. strangely been avoiding you ? after a heated argument with him on a flooded night he stays at your dorm till the storm passed over. he finally confesses the cause of his avoidance…in your bed .

warnings/prevs: not proofread semi toxic wooyoung, dirty talk, light choking, biting/marking, dry humping, spooning, fingering (fem received), oral (fem received), unprotected piv (wear condoms bro.), somnophilia, dubcon, possessive wording and actions

a/n: this is my first work ever PLEASEE SPARE ME OK. but yea enjoy ik it’s lengthy you can honestly skip through it if you’re only interested in the smut rather than the mini bit of plot 😭

“woo can you bring my textbooks over to my place I left them at yours 🫠”

Read. Every message for the past month and a half Woo either gave a delayed 1-2 word response or no response at all.

You sigh and sit your phone back down to continue studying and writing down your biochem notes. You have an exam worth 80% of your grade for the semester. Your professor is ruthless and has high expectations for your score. For the past month you’ve only had time to study, eat and shower meaning you’ve had to abandon all task and activities that don’t involve your biochem grade.

Typically when you were overwhelmed or had mountains of work to Wooyoung would be there for you. Since you started school abroad you and woo have been attached to the hip, sometimes getting called thing 1 and thing 2 by school admin and others on campus. Being a dance major he had so much more free time since he was already so talented and got the routines and choreographies down fast.

So whenever you had no time to take care of yourself, Woo was your right hand man to help you out. He’d bring you food, bring your favorite drink in, help with laundry, and remind you to eat and have free time whenever you got too caught up in work. Or he’d simply just be there for you, sitting by you writing or typing away keeping you company and making you laugh.

You reciprocated his kindness by coming to watch and support him during his rehearsals or whenever he presented his choreo to the dance teacher. You’d bring him his favorite treats from the student center and a hot towel or cold drink whenever he was exhausted from practice or rehearsing. Massaging his aching shoulders and calves in the dance room until he felt good as new. In all honestly you always had a crush on Woo I mean cmon ? He’s beautiful, but you’ve always pushed your feelings away to hold onto the friendship.

But lately Wooyoung has been so cold, never texting back and whenever you catch him on campus with San and Seonghwa he’d glance and walk faster. It’s beginning to hurt. You want to give him the benefit of the doubt but it just feels as thought he no longer wants nothing to do with you. He doesn’t even come over, you’ve spent the past month and a half by yourself cooped up in your room writing notes and sleeping alone.

While trying to open the next 76 slide PowerPoint your teacher assigned to you, a small epiphany that perhaps Woo is just as overwhelmed as you are and probably needs a boost comes into your mind. You were sure this was the best way to bring him back into your life. Finally getting up from your study desks you put on some quick slides and grab your tote bag so you can grab some treats for Wooyoung from the campus stores since you knew that around this time he’d be in the dance room.

After finally getting the treats you notice despite it being warm outside there was a light trickle of rain but you paid no mind to it, you walked into the dance room seeing Woo, Hwa and San sat stretching and talking. Wooyoung is relaxed slumped over stretching his legs, laughing and flashing his handsome grin to the others. However when Wooyoung sees you approaching he shoots right up and instead of being joyed to see you he looks irritated and dismissive.

“Hey Woo I got you these cookies and chips idk if-” You’re cut off by Woo’s cold stare. It’s as if you didn’t even know him, or moreso he didn’t know you.

“Not hungry give them to San, your textbooks are in my cubby. ” He says it so quick that it’s obvious he’s trying to shoo you away as soon as possible. You toss the chips to San and shove the rest of the treats back into your bag. You quickly get your textbooks out his cubby and toss them in your bag as well.

“Idk what I did to you Woo but lose my number and continue to leave me alone, I’m done being your friend.”

The sky is officially grey outside and your mood is ruined. You’re shuffling through campus square trying to make it to your dorm. While walking through you see all of your peers and other students with their ‘person’ or friend group. While the one person you turned to the most is giving you the cold shoulder. Tears welled up in your eyes and you take out your phone to see the time and whether only to see a notification. It’s a story post from Woo. You open it to see Woo posed with Hwa and some random girl in his class, the caption made your chest feel heavy.

“My favorite girl here”

That was the final straw. You blocked Wooyoung everywhere. You couldn’t even walk around anymore and sat at a bench to cry your feelings out while nobody was around. So many thoughts circled your mind, but you finally snap out of it once you feel the rain trickle harder and harder on you and the thunder begin to roll.

After running over to your dorm using your arms as a shield from the downpour you finally make your way into your single dorm. Instead of finding solace and peace once you open the door and step in..you find Wooyoung sitting on your couch, obviously waiting for you to come home since who knows when.

“Who let you in.” You sighed trying to hold composure, immediately heading to your kitchen to sit your bag down.

He gets up from the couch using his forearm to block you from walking any further to sternly say, “Why did you block me.”

“You know exactly what you did and that it would hurt my feelings.”

You stare into his eyes, gritting your teeth in frustration of the situation, you take a breath and look away from him to mutter a piece of your mind.

“Why do you even give a fuck about what I do. I’m nobody to you from what I remember.”

Wooyoung rolls his eyes and opens his mouth to give his rebuttal but you immediately cut him off. “No text no calls, I can’t even come see you without being pushed away. You don’t give a shit about me anymore admit it.”

“Look you’re overthinking, it’s been a while but you know that post wasn’t that deep.”

“Not that deep? Fuck you Wooyoung get out.”

You attempt to push him away but he grabs your forearms. You look up to see him with a clenched jaw. He notices the tension within the air and the discomfort in your face and softens his grip, he looks down at the ground as if he’s calculating his next response . He lets go, and rather than grabbing his things and walking out he brings you into a hug.

“I’m sorry. I’ve been distant yes. I know you’re mad but please understand it’s only because I ha-” His words come to a halt once a crash of thunder interrupts him and the flood warning amber alert rung excessively seconds afterwards.

You remove yourself from Woos hold and stare at your phone. After realizing what was happening you then walk over to a window to see the damage the storm had caused. The flood wasn’t complete danger since you’re on a higher floor of the dorms so it luckily won’t affect you as for tonight. But, Wooyoung has no way of getting home since the roads were swamped. There isn’t even a single bus attempting to go through these roads. You sigh and turn with your heel to bring your gaze back to Wooyoung.

“I’ll sleep on the couch it’s no worry..”

You look at him up and down, and it’s up until this moment you realize how much you’ve missed him just by seeing him sitting at your place again.

“We can share a bed. I’m mad but I’m not a monster, just be out by the morning or whenever the flood clears.”

Woo mutters a thank you and you walk into your bathroom to be left alone and wash off the tension from the stand-off you a Woo had.

You showered and changed into some cute pajama shorts and a pullover sweater with your college’s logo on the front. You’re beginning to drift off but hear Woo finally come out the bathroom. His hair was damp from the quick shower he took after yours and he sported a white tee and some grey sweatpants he left here the last time he was over for a movie night. You continue to lie on the bed and pretend to not acknowledge Woo as your best attempt to give him the cold shoulder. After some minutes, your eyes almost rip open when you feel a dip in the mattress due to Woo finally resting on it. He gets on simply resting on his side but slowly makes his way towards you and begins to big spoon you and hold you as close as possible.

You want to kick him from behind and tell him to scoot over, but you haven’t felt this much comfort from Wooyoung in so long. Plus considering you want him gone by maybe tomorrow, you’ll take every bit of affection you can get. After some time and a million raindrops later you drift off to sleep.

You wake up still being somewhat caught in your sleep only able to hear a slight shifting accompanied with the dense rain hitting your rooms window and thunder rolling within the sky. But, once you become more aware of your surroundings, you feel Wooyoung shifting around and rolling his hips into yours from behind.

That’s when you begin to hear the low groans and sighs. It started with him slowly humping into you faintly not making too much contact but now he’s switched into grinding his hips in a more methodical bold fashion. You laid there feeling the print of his cock collide with your now wet cunt. Then he stops.

The sudden stop in movement caught you off guard and brought you back to reality. Did that really happen ? It couldn’t have . He was just moving around to get more cover…or maybe to get more space right ? But you know for a fact you felt his bare hard cock underneath his sweats, pressing into you from behind. And you know for a fact your pussy was clenching and dripping while he was doing so .

You convince yourself you just need more sleep, he was just shifting to get comfortable, or maybe he’s just a boy having a wet dream. You close your eyes, following the pattern of the rain to hum you asleep.

Moments have passed and you wake up again but to an even more obvious disturbance. Wooyoungs head in between your thighs taking careful bites out of them. You had no words and can only gaze at the taboo display.

He kisses and licks the marks he was leaving but once he realizes your breathing changed he looks up and finally makes eye contact with you. However, instead of uttering a humiliated apologizing or explanation he uses his teeth to bring your pj shorts and panties down. When they’re finally low enough for him, he parts your legs as if this interaction was normal and while making dead eye contact with you licks a stripe up your cunt and ends the line with his lips around your clit.

Your mouth goes agape and you let out a shocked but pleasured moan only able to watch.

“I’ve loved you for so long y/n you don’t understand. I can’t lie about my feelings any longer. I just want fill you with my cock, just ruin your pretty pussy” He puts two fingers into your cunt and gets back to working on your clit, making sure to make as much of a mess as possible with his saliva.

He brings his face off, your arousal and his saliva glistening on his pretty lips and chin. He licks the mess off his bottom lip so he can say more.

“I want you y/n. For me alone. I haven’t texted you or called because I couldn’t contain how I felt. I was scared you’d be uncomfortable or brush me off because of your studies.” He takes out his fingers and brings his mouth back on your cunt. Sloppily making out with it and bringing his tongue in and out of your hole. Sometimes bringing his face back up just so he can spit on it and make an even bigger mess.

You didn’t know what to say, consumed by both pleasure and confusion. Pleasure from him finger fucking you with precision and purpose constantly prodding that one spot in your cunt that makes your back arch. The confusion with how he can casually explain himself with his fingers so deep inside you. All you could manage was to moan his name and spread your legs even wider.

At this point, your pajama shorts and panties are gone..probably dangling off the corner edge of your bed or discarded on the floor, only woo knows where he tossed your bra off to while the college sweater you went to sleep with is now rolled up, exposing your breast and torso. Wooyoung finally brings his face away after you cum all over it. As you moaned and whined in ecstasy, he kisses you making you taste yourself on his lips.

He puts himself back into the big spoon position he was in when you both first fell asleep. He kisses and marks you up a bit more in the crook of your neck while lightly toying and mounding your breast in his comforting hands.

He brings his face back up to your ear and carefully whispers..

“Inside…please can I put it inside..let me fuck and cum in you” He rolls his hips lightly into yours for emphases. “I’ll never avoid you again, I’m yours I won’t leave your side again” His hand drops to your clit slowly adding pressure and applying deep circles.

You moan and turn your head away from him, the closeness and intimacy is overwhelming and you’re now caught in a whirlwind of heat filled pleasure . You know you want this bad, but your mind is filled to capacity with so many thoughts. Will this ruin the friendship ? Will things be the same ? How will everyone view you two after this ?

Woo notices your overthinking and brings his free hand higher and begins to softly wrap it around your neck only lightly squeezing forcing you to make eye contact with him.

“ I don’t want you to leave my side either I want you to walk around with a piece of me with you at all times” He plays with your clit faster making you take quicker breaths. “Don’t you want that..always having a piece of me inside you ? Right y/n?” You nod and mindlessly mewl due to being so fucked out from his hands and prior his mouth alone.

“Oh baby I knoww” While cooing to you he plunges his fingers back in as he did in the beginning. A pornographic moan falls from your lips as he deeply fucks and curls his fingers into you.

“Your cock please put it in I can’t take it Woo please !!” You call out with the small bit of voice you had left in you.

Woo lifts your leg up and brings his cock into you. It easily slips in from how worked open you were and you feel him stretch your soft wet walls and his tip kiss your cervix. He starts with hesitant experimental thrust, but as soon as he realizes you’re comfortable and want more he begins pounding.

You can’t help yourself and can only moan and babble . As he bullies his thick cock into you the only thing that falls from your lips is fucked out nonsense and pleas for him to not stop.

He momentarily slows down now and brings his face down so he can bite down on your neck. Once again rolling his hips so sensually, the contrast of the knot slowly building up inside you from his slow yet heavy thrust and the pain and harshness of his bite makes you go dumb.

“You take me so well, look at you..so pretty. Fuuuck I’ve only imagined this with my cock in my hand.”

He lifts your leg higher up. Something about this spooning position makes Wooyoung reach the absolute depth of your throbbing cunt. He roughly rocks his hip into yours, you can hear the wet obscene sound of him driving his cock in and out coinciding with the heavy ran outside.

“I’m about to cum so deep in you..y/n I love you so much , stay with me, I don’t care just stay by me” A choked I love you too was all you could say as you came all over his cock, his release and orgasm following suit. You felt his warm seed paint your insides, it’s complete luck that you’re on the pill. Wooyoung drags his cock out and puts you into an embrace.

He peppers and ghosts kisses over your face while you lay limp in his hands, the rain has finally stopped and filling the room is you and Woos soft breathe. You both drift off all over again.

[finelinepie]

"On The Field"

*This is not my photo, but I couldn't find the original poster to credit them.🥺(but thank you to whoever made this)*

THIS SERIES WILL HAVE LONGER PARTS, BUT THIS FIRST PART IS MOSTLY AN INTRODUCTION❤️

*I want this to be a short series, but I am not sure if this is even something people would like?? Please let me know how you like it, or don't like it.. I NEED THE FEED BACK*

Footballrry / reader

Plot: Dating the football star is not what you pictured happening your sophomore year of college, but its happening, and you have to keep calm... how does one keep calm when he looks like..that??

Word Count: 1K and some change

Warnings: none yet, just the smirk we all dream about and a little bit of fluff.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

Being in a football stadium is not how I thought my winter break would go. I thought for sure it would be spent with my friends on some extravagant vacation somewhere warm or maybe even going home to my family. It is so weird how things worked out this year. My friends went home to their families, and my parents wanted to spend their first vacation alone now that both of their kids are off at college and they are empty nesters. I found myself staring at the field and studying how the players moved about. The one thing I am most grateful for is the fact that I am currently sitting in a box chair in the warmth. The stadium box was a luxurious escape from the frigid winter air outside, with plush seats, a stocked minibar, and a perfect view of the field below. I don't care how many heat lamps are facing the field right now, I won’t be caught dead down there. The biting cold was relentless, and I could see the players’ breath forming clouds as they huddled and ran their drills.

With my textbook in my lap, I continued to multitask studying and watching the boys on Lambeau Field. My..actually, I don’t know what to call him.. we have yet to label anything. He was running around like a chicken with his head cut off, while his coach chased him, teammates laughing at the scene. I smiled softly and giggled, in total awe of his childlike nature. Shaking my head, I looked back down and continued taking notes. This class is kicking my ass, and I do not want to have to retake it. College is a bitch, and I don't want to stay any longer than I have to.

My thought process was interrupted by the club door opening. Turning my head to see who it was, I smiled and closed my book. “Hey, babe.” My best friend, Isla, said cheerfully, sitting down next to me.

“Hey, what are you still doing here? I thought you were going home this year?” I recalled. She sighed and looked down at the boys still practicing on the field.

“I am, but I just wanted to look at your dreamboat before I left.” She taunted.

I rolled my eyes before throwing my head back in a cackle. “He is not my dreamboat.” I could feel my cheeks heat up. My blush only deepened when I heard a quiet ‘Yet’ escape her mouth.

She cleared her throat before she continued. “All joking aside, I just came to say bye, and because I know you guys are in the puppy phase, you would be here pretending to study but actually staring at him the whole time.” She winked. “I love you, stay safe, I will see you in two weeks. And remember!” She chirped while standing back up. “Don’t be silly, wrap his willy!” She screamed. I swatted her thigh while she howled in laughter.

I chuckled, shaking my head as Isla made her way out of the box. Turning my attention back to the field, I noticed my favorite boy glancing up at the stands. For a brief moment, our eyes met, his lips lifting to the side to smirk and my heart skipped a beat. I quickly looked away, feeling a mix of embarrassment and excitement.

As I tried to refocus on my textbook, my mind kept drifting back to him. The way he moved with such confidence and energy was captivating. Despite the cold outside, the warmth of the box and the sight of him made everything feel a little bit brighter.

As practice wrapped up, the players began to filter off the field. The star player jogged toward the sidelines, grabbing a towel and wiping the sweat from his face. He glanced up at the boxed seats, his eyes scanning the seats, pretending not to see where I am, until they landed on me. A smile spread across his face, and he gave a small wave. My heart skipped a beat, and I felt my cheeks flush again. I waved back, feeling a flutter of excitement.

A few minutes later, he appeared at the door of the club box, still dressed in his practice gear. Harry leaned against the doorframe, looking effortlessly handsome. "Hey, stranger," he said with a grin. "Mind if I join you?" His green eyes shining bright against his flushed face.

I gestured to the seat next to me, trying to play it cool. "Sure, come on in. How was practice?" I am going to throw up.

His large body plopped beside me and I instantly got hints of musky vanilla. His presence immediately made the room feel warmer. "It was good, just the usual drills and stuff. Coach is really pushing us hard, but it's worth it." He glanced at my textbook. Wrapping his arm around me he spoke once more, "What about you? Studying during break—you're dedicated."

I sighed, closing the book again. "Yeah, trying to keep up with this class. It's a killer."

He nodded, his expression serious. "If you need any help, just let me know. I was pretty good at that class last semester."

I smiled, grateful for the offer. "Thank you, I might take you up on that."

For the next hour, we talked about everything and nothing, the conversation flowing easily. Harry had a way of making me feel comfortable, even when I was a nervous wreck inside. As we chatted, I couldn't help but think about how unexpected this winter break had turned out to be. It wasn't the vacation I had planned, but sitting here with him, it felt like it might turn out to be even better.

Eventually, Harry stood up, stretching. "I should probably hit the showers. But seriously, if you need help with that class, just text me."

I nodded, standing up as well. "I will. Thanks for the offer, H."

He smiled, that same infectious grin that had captivated me from the start. "Anytime. See you tonight, alright?" He leaned down to kiss my forehead and then my lips softly before making his way out the door.

As he walked out of the club box, I felt a warmth in my chest. Maybe this winter break wouldn't be so bad after all.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

[shadowsingercassia]

Bewitching

Eris VanserraxAzriel!sister reader

Summary: After a tense High Lords meeting, you and Eris are stargazing. (set after the High Lord meeting in acowar)

Warnings: fluff, some mentions of smut and a sprinkle of angst (because we all love that sparkle of angst)

By the way, this is a small fic to get me out of a writing slump. I have an angsty fic coming up next...

Laying down on the soft grass, you are staring into the star-flecked night sky, the green blades brushing against the soft skin of your exposed limbs.

The midnight black sky is filled with stars, shining brightly and casting a pale glow over your features.

You let yourself relax and bask in the presence of Eris laying down a foot away from you. His legs are stretched out, hands behind his heads he watches the night sky with you.

Today, the High Lord's meeting had been overwhelmingly tense. Azriel almost choked Eris to death, Tamlin kept calling Feyre a 'whore', Beron was just, difficult and overall the atmosphere was taut.

Thats why you're here, to calm yourself down and drown in the presence of the twinkling lights above.

Comfortable silence wrapped around you and Eris like a gentle blanket. No one wanted to utter a word, you only yearned for the solace of each other's presence.

The chilly breeze swept over you, cooling off the heat from the meeting that continues to linger.

Your mind went away, to your brother, Azriel. He'd urged you to stay away from Eris Vanserra, the heir of Autumn, he thinks of him as a monster who obeys his father and is a cruel heartless bastard.

But, Azriel doesn't know Eris like you do.

All the stolen nights, away from the crowds and lingering stares of everyone.

The barefoot dancing in the gardens. How your feet move gracefully, matching his movement as you two dance in a slow waltz. And he spins you around, as your laughter fills the silence, and soon after, a playful conversation blooms between the two of you.

Or how when you're send to missions in the Autumn Court as the Night Court's emissary, Eris finds time for you. The moment he sees a chance to get you alone, he takes it.

You and Eris haven't had much intimacy, considering that the moments where you two can be alone together for more than 20 minutes are rare. Besides, there's a chance of being heard by others.

Though, Eris has found the way a couple of times. One time, he had taken you into a secluded part of the garden and used his hand to muffle your moans and screams as he mercilessly pounded into you from behind. The rough tree bark digging into your bare skin as he pushed you into it harder with each thrust.

You knew that Azriel would kill Eris if he find out what you two are doing, and you didn't want that. Though, you took the risk nonetheless.

Azriel's words linger in your mind. "If I see you close to that heartless bastard, I'll kill him and I don't care about Beron or Rhys."

You had pretended that you and Eris had nothing, at all. Hopefully, Azriel's shadows didn't catch on your true feelings. In that moment, you had felt fear coursing through your veins, clouding every sense. He'd kill him if he found out.

A tear had escaped without you noticing until Eris shifted closer and gently wiped it away with his thumb. His finger stayed there for a moment longer before his soft, deep voice broke the defining silence.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" Eris asks, his tone soothing parts of you that you didn't even acknowledge. Your eyes lock with his and the corners of his lips quirk up into a soft smile.

You take a moment to study it carefully, even if it's not a full grin, you can't help but feel a little lighter by the sight of it. His small smile reached deep parts of you, healing wounds that your family had opened centuries ago.

"My mind was... wandering to things" you reply, trying to brush off the topic. But Eris didn't budge, he stayed next to you, his body facing yours.

"You can tell me what's happening sweetheart, you know that" and it's true, you did know that. Eris always listened to you and you always listened to him.

In the late nights in the Autumn Court, when you both were seated on his bed, talking to each other about, everything.

"It's something about... Azriel" as your brother's name comes out of your lips, Eris tenses. Even if Azriel is not who he wants to talk about now, he still makes an effort to listen.

"Before the High Lords meeting, he had told me to stay away from you. He doesn't know about us, he was only giving me a warning but in the meeting, when he had you in a chokehold, and you were struggling to breathe, it worried me."

With each word you spoke it was like Eris was visibly becoming increasingly taut. In the end, he took a deep breath, calming down and releasing the tension in his body.

He placed a tender kiss to your forehead. "Don't worry sweetheart, I'm alright, no need to worry" he tried to comfort you but you knew that Azriel wasn't bluffing when he said those words.

Eris sensed your worry and knew that whatever Azriel had told you, had affected you.

The rest of the night, he tried to comfort you with gentle smiles, lingering touches and tender words of affection. Everything he did and said, you stored in the depths of your mind.

Your doubt had somewhat receded, Eris continued to lay next to you, his thumb stroking the back of your hand, trailing over your slightly scarred knuckles.

The comfortable silence had enveloped both of you with a warm invisible shield. And it was just you, Eris, the unlimited surface above you and the stars, sparkling brighter than usual.

"They're beautiful aren't they?" you suddenly ask Eris.

"Bewitching" he said. What you hadn't noticed, is that he was staring at you the whole time.

-------------------------☆--------------------------

a/n: This fic is unedited and a tiny little thing to get me out of a writing slump. The Azrielxreader angst just, I couldn't finish it so I found a new angst idea that I will start to write soon. The idea for this fic came to me at 3 am and I started writing it at 3 am, and finished it in the morning.

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