#stay in my mind longer than a careful study of it would
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faaun · 2 years ago
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i've been busy today and i'm exhausted on my way to another thing i have to do my heart is beating fast because of it this is the state at which i feel at peace
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beloveds-embrace · 23 days ago
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More poly!141 please and thank you my dear 🥰🤗
Anon is banished to the timeout corner to ponder on their grievances
That trope of roommates reader x poly 141…
Imagine you are Desperate with a capital D. Things aren’t lookinh bright for you, broke and stressed college student, right now in general, you need a new place quickly, and as it happens, you see an all-too-good offer while apartment searching on Craigslist. Rent is within your budget and god, the place looks really good, but…
You’ll have to share with four men. Four polyamorous men apparently, but still- men. More than one. That alone should’ve made you give up on it, not even think about considering it. It’s dangerous, incredibly so. No one within their right mind would agree to it, especially when you read that they are asking for someone who is willing to take up a good bulk of taking care of the place while they travel.
It’s clearly a scam. A front to a dangerous group.
But the apartment is even better when you actually, stupidly, agree to it. The (military, you learn soon enough) men so very handsome, helping you move in your stuff- the way Price commanded them actually made your knees tremble just a little, but you are not about to get between anyone’s relationship(s).
Moreover; you really like them. Soap is funny but he’s also the one who tries to stay up with you during your late exam studies. Keyword tries because he falls asleep anyways, head lolling on your shoulder only to end up getting carried by Ghost later.
Gaz is also funny, and he often forces you to go out when you hole up yourself for long lengths of time, get some fresh air on a walk that almost always leads to him treating you to coffee and sandwiches in the little corner bakery. Also the only one to share your love for horror movies so he’s your designated partner for whenever you wanna go to the cinemas.
Ghost and Price are your unofficial guard dogs. Grocery shopping? One or both of them tags along, carrying everything without letting you touch a single thing-
“What kind of man would let a lady carry groceries? I’m not weak, sweetheart. Let go of that bag, just see what else we’ll need.”
Ghost just stares straight down at you; no balaclava, but a black surgical mask and his hood drawn up. “Don’t even think about it.”
-and they are both bulky. They don’t even have to try to appear intimidating, everyone almost subconsciously makes way for them. Never in your entire life have you had easier shopping trips. And you’ve lost count of the amount of times you’ve stirred awake to find yourself carried to your bed after accidentally falling asleep on the couch.
They were not lying about the lengths of time they are gone, and you understand why they had put in that ad that landed you here in the first place. Once, they were away for months, and they have no contact with you. You always worry for them, regularly checking for any possible texts and sending them updates even when no reply comes.
(You have no ideaaa they have you saved as ‘lil missus���, ‘wifey’, ‘the madame’, ‘darlin’ in their phones. Or how much they cling to your texts even when they can’t reply yet. You don’t suspect shit, but the longer the mission drags on, the more resolved they are to just come home to you as soon as possible.
The second John checks his phone and sees your text about getting stood up on a date, his jaw clenches so tightly that Soap glances over, immediately concerned. The others quickly catch on, a tension settling over the group as he reads the message aloud.
Got stood up on that date lol
Guess its just me nd a frozen pizza tonight 🤷‍♀️ yes ik u hate frozen foods but ur not here sooo
If he wasn’t so incredibly angered by the thought of you going on a date that is not with them, getting stood up, he would have focused on your little disobedience. Would have thought of making you repeat why he hates having them in the flat while you sniffle and whine, the result of him taking his palm to your ass a few dozen times for doing this behind his back, but he can’t focus on that now.
“Let’s finish this and get home,” He hisses out at last, pocketing his phone. “Missus needs a reminder who she belongs to.”
All he gets, unsurprisingly, is approving nods.)
Back in the flat, you sneeze. How strange; you had just recently finished dusting, and everything should be clean.
It’s probably nothing.
a bit more
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buckyalpine · 2 months ago
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His Winter Flower
Modern Beauty and the Beast AU Winter soldier x f reader
Long awaited, I hope you all enjoy it as well.
Word count: 8.9k
Warnings: 18 + Angst, injuries, Fluff, All the sweet smut, Bucky is a sweetheart
"оставаться внизу" [Stay down] The soldier ordered, holding his gun to the targets forehead, his metal finger twitching against the trigger while the man cowered in front of him.
"Please" The man tried to plead but it was no use. He knew his fate was sealed the second he heard the thud of the boots entering his home. The whirring of metal. The ghost people spoke of but never saw until it was too late.
"тишина" [Silence] The soldiers rough voice growled behind the mask that covered his face. He pressed the barrel further into the man's head, freezing when he heard the soft patter of footsteps nearing the office he had broken into.
"Papa?" A soft voice called, the scent of roses and vanilla accompanying it, "Papa, where are y-
You gasped as you entered your father's study, your heart dropping to your stomach seeing him kneeling on the floor with his hands tied while the soldier towered above him.
So the rumors were true.
The silver of his arm was illuminated in the moonlight, the rest of him covered in Kevlar and black leather. Weapons were strapped to every bit of his body but the only one that worried you now was the one that was about to take your father's life.
"Don't hurt him!" It was a futile attempt to save your father, you knew this enough. The Winter Soldier didn't spare anyone, in fact for the longest time you wondered if he was nothing more than an urban legend. No one had actually seen him. Those that did didn't live to speak the tale. The soldier grunted in response, hardly sparing you a glance as he stared at the man before him.
A professor. A brilliant man. One who was quietly working with a group of researchers aiming to destroy the the longtime work of Arnim Zola from so many years ago. No more serums. No more soldiers.
Hydra wouldn't have that.
Not when those very serums created their best asset, the Winter Soldier himself.
"Он моя миссия" [He is my mission] Was the only response you were given. You didn't understand the words he said but it didn't matter; it was quite clear. He didn't intend on sparing the professor.
"Darling, please go, it's okay" Your father shook his head, ready to accept the consequences of his choices. He hoped to aid in the movement of making the world safer and if this was his end, he was prepared to meet it. Tears welled in his eyes with a sad smile on his face, "It'll be alright, go, hurry-
"No, please!" You pleaded with the soldier once again, all you could see were his blue eyes, void of emotion, cold and icy. "If-if you kill him, someone will take his place and then another. My father will no longer help with the government if you spare him and take me. Please just take me instead, it will put an end to all this. Please"
If you kill him, someone will take his place
The words rang through the soldiers mind.
It shouldn't be a problem. He'd killed plenty of people before but...
Then it would be another mission to carry.
And then another.
Another.
The innocent man trapped in his brain screamed to stop. A voice long forgotten, begging him to reconsider. To fight against the words that were causing him to do this. The solider flinched, fighting within himself, contemplating his next actions. The mission was to ensure Arnim Zola's work wouldn't be eradicated. The girl was offering herself to ensure the same work wouldn't continue. He wouldn't have more blood on his hands if he allowed the professor to live.
He shouldn't have cared but a part of him did.
He didn't want to kill another innocent man.
He never wanted to kill anyone.
Your father let out a sigh of relief feeling the weight of the gun pull away, only to have his greatest fear come alive; losing you.
"NO, darling you don't know what you're doing, I'll be fine-
It was too late. The soldier cut through the ropes that bound your father's wrists, taking you instead. Before your father could reach for you, the soldier grabbed and hauled you over his shoulder and strode away, ignoring the plea of the professor to spare his only daughter.
His mind was made up.
She was not his mission but now he had a new one.
If he killed the man, another would take his place.
He was risking repercussions listening to the trapped soul only his mind could hear.
He shouldn't have listened to her words.
He shouldn't have let the professor go.
Yet he agreed.
The gait of the soldier lulled you into a dreamless sleep; exhaustion consumed you as he wandered through a thicket of trees and into the woods far from home. You hadn't spoken a word nor let out a cry as he carried you off, after all, you agreed to be his prisoner as long as you father lived.
-
He brought you to a place he knew no one would find.
A place no one else knew of.
A place that was now his own.
He was once sent to take the life of a wealthy aristocrat, a man who had no one to leave his estate to. The place was deep in a forest, away from most of humanity; even when Hydra had sent him to finish the man, they were unable to give him a location. The soldier had located the target himself only to find the man had already passed from old age.
No questions were asked.
The mission was considered complete.
The body was disposed of and for quite some time, the soldier thought nothing of the castle like place that no one else knew of. It was a secret only he knew and he soon found himself seeking its solitude. A resting place between missions. A place to patch up. A place to hide when his mind was too loud, trying to escape from clutches he didn't understand.
It was the closest place he had to freedom.
The soldier pushed through the heavy wooden doors, entering the dark oak foyer. He stilled, torn between taking you down to the cellar or taking you to the rooms up in the master wing.
How could he chain something so soft.
How could he imprison something so delicate.
His feet began to move towards the large staircase before his mind could process anything, shifting to carry you in his arms as he made his way up to the west wing. He set you down gently onto the large bed with the soft sheets, careful not to stir you. He stared at your sleeping form, unmoving from his place as you softly snored, the choices of his actions beginning to plague his mind.
What was he to do with you now. Why hadn't he gotten rid of you.
He knew the rules; once his job was done, he was to return to the base but he hadn't completed the mission. He had been away for weeks and the longer he was away, the louder the screaming was. The voice of a young sergeant who fought bravely in the war. The pleading young man, scared like a child, trapped in the body of a killing machine. The cries of a little boy trying so hard to runaway from monsters that haunted him every single night. All trapped and begging to escape.
He'd let the professor live.
It was wrong of him.
He disobeyed his orders.
Or perhaps it was the right thing to do.
Though the soldier had been brainwashed, there were times he found himself caught in-between a state of control and chaos. His duties were to Hydra. He knew this was wrong. You shouldn't be here. His task was to continue their vision. He was their asset. He belonged to them.
His tourmiol continued. Why did he spare the professor. Why did he bring the girl and set her down on the softest bed out of all the rooms when he should have chained her in a cell. Exhaustion began to weigh on him but he didn't close his eyes. He didn't allow sleep to consume him. The soldier remained in place even as the sun rose. He watched as you stirred, soft sunlight streaming through the curtains, falling onto your face.
-
You blinked, rubbing sleep from your eyes, a fearful gasp escaping your lips when you saw him sitting in the armchair in the corner of the room. A thousand thoughts began to run through your mind at once as you sat up, a part of you surprised to find your hands and legs free from binds. You were atop a plush mattress on a large bed, the room itself surprisingly warm and quaint. Had you not been in a state of terror, you would have taken some time to appreciate the olive green walls and fine paintings that decorated the space as well as the well kept antique furniture.
"Please don't hurt me" You whispered, still disoriented from the night before.
"я не буду" [I won't] He replied, aware you didn't understand him. His lips twitched, all the words of English he wanted to speak dying in his mouth. His mind wouldn't allow it.
It wasn't required for this mission.
You stayed frozen in place while he said nothing else, walking off and closing the door behind him. Tears welled in your eyes as dread began to set in. This was your life now. He could kill you at any moment without warning. In fact, you didn't understand why he hadn't. From the rumours, you knew the soldier never took prisoners. You didn't know why you were spared; the only sliver of joy you had was that your father was alive. You thought about your him as you gathered yourself out of bed, deciding to make the best of your circumstances with the faintest hope that one day you'd be reunited with him again.
You inspected the room the soldier had put you in. There was a vanity across the bed. A walk in closet that only contained a few old sheets. You gasped as you entered the en suite bathroom, white marble tiles covering the floor, a large clawfoot tub, brass and gold accents decorated the handles of the cupboards.
The room was enchanting.
After splashing some water onto your face, you crept into the hallway, padding down to the staircase, surprised again at the beauty of the place. High ceilings. Dark wood. Crystal albeit dusty chandeliers. French doors. Original paintings. It was the type of place you'd imagine when you read fairytales. It would have been the type of place you'd dream to live in; one you'd only imagine in your wildest fantasies where the princess finds her prince. Such stories were only found in books.
You quietly explored the main floor of the mansion and avoiding the rooms which were locked shut. You didn't dare touch a thing, quickly retreating back to your room once you'd seen everything, familiarizing yourself with it's layout. The kitchen. A study. A living room. The hauntinly beautiful hallways. A door to the grounds in the back. You hadn't seen the soldier which both relieved and scared you.
Where did he disappear to?
That night, there was a knock at your door and when you opened it, a plate of warm food was left on a tray. Boiled carrots. Potatoes. A dinner roll. You hadn't even heard his footsteps down the hall. As you peered out of your room, it was empty without the slightest hint that anyone had been there seconds ago.
Where had he gone?
You hadn't realized how hungry you were until you took the first bite, scarfing down the rest in haste, placing the tray back in the hall. The next day was the same. You woke up to find a simple spread of breakfast outside of your room; toast and jam.
The soldier was a man of his word; if you were to be his captive, he had to keep you alive.
At least until he knew what to do with you...
Days had passed and you'd managed to avoid him, keeping to yourself and staying out of his way but you weren't able to avoid him forever.
-
The soldier had already heard you coming, pausing his cleaning as he waited for you to enter. The sight of your trembling form evoked something inside him.
You were scared. He didn't like it.
His mask remained on his face while his blue eyes peered at you, waiting for you to speak.
"I-I need clothes" Your voice was hardly a whisper, body shaking as you approached him, finding him in the study room, parts of his gun in hand. There was nothing wrong with the simple cotton dress you had on though it certainly wasn't comfortable to sleep in every night and you weren't able to wash and it dry within the same day. You needed at least one other set of something to wear. "Please"
He nodded without a word, resuming his cleaning while you retreated to your room. His brows furrowed as he thought about what you'd need. Perhaps it would be easier to return you and finish off the professor or get rid of you both-
No.
No.
He didn't want more blood on his hands.
The foods he stole were already a risk....where would he go for clothes?
-
The next morning, you found a fresh set of clothes left beside your tray of breakfast. You lifted the pile and brought it to your room, munching on the toast that had come with honey instead of jam for a change.
There was a red Henley and some sweatpants. A black t shirt and joggers. A few other basics for you to wear comfortably around the house. You couldn't help but giggle at the very large leather jacket he'd also left in case you felt cold even though there were already plenty of warm blankets. They were very clearly his own clothes but they were all washed and perfectly clean. You couldn't expect him to go shopping for you.
You threw off your dress, taking a long bath before drying off and slipping on the Henley and sweats. They were warm and soft, fitting loosely on your smaller frame, his soft scent of something distinctly him clinging onto the material. It was strange that it didn't bother you. Quite the opposite. It was pleasant, almost comforting.
You wondered about the man behind the mask and who he was. Such a dangerous man who was giving you the clothes off his back, feeding you and keeping you alive even though he'd killed hundreds of others. He was dangerous and yet he looked at you with such softness, you couldn't understand how he'd be capable of hurting anyone.
What was his story?
He hadn't chained you to the bed.
He hadn't locked you in your room.
You were free to go about where you liked.
Surely he wasn't all evil?
As you grew more accustomed to your living arrangement, you decided to inspect more of the kitchen. You hadn't been told you couldn't cook; even if the soldier didn't kill you, boredom eventually would. You needed something to pass the time and he had disappeared yet again.
You opened the fridge and pantries surprised to find a few fruits and vegetables stocked up. An untouched sack of flour and bag of sugar sat at the bottom of the shelves. Who knew the winter soldier enjoyed plums so much? There were a few pots and pans as well as basic kitchen utensils. You didn't need much to make a simple meal, careful not to make a mess as you began to peel some carrots.
-
The soldier blinked as he entered the house, the smell of food wafting throughout, a smell he hadn't come across in a long time.
Home.
There was a pot of stew left on the stove along with a pie left to cool on the counter. His eyes widened at the way his stomach grumbled; it had been years since he'd truly felt hunger. He ate for sustenance. Raw, uncooked, at most boiled food to keep him going. When he was with Hydra, he was fed with a tube.
Just basic nutrients to keep him alive.
He hadn't had a home cooked meal in years.
-
You woke up the next morning to find a pastry at your door instead of toast. When you wandered into the kitchen, you smiled at the tiny crumbs left pie tin and the now empty pot of stew. There were also newly stocked ingredients waiting for you; berries, potatoes, somehow even a whole chicken. You got to work, deciding to try something new each time; each night a warm meal awaited the soldier along with something sweet at the end.
He continued to bring you breakfast but there were only so many different pastries and cakes he could nick, besides they didn't compare to yours.
It wasn't enough. The soldier frowned at the strange feelings he had within himself.
He wanted to do something for you.
He wasn't sure what. He smuggled a handful of cookies you'd baked that morning into his room before removing his mask and savoring each once. He didn't leave a crumb behind, licking the remnants of chocolate off his lips while his mind wandered. You didn't have to cook for him. In fact you had every right to try and escape from him but you never did. He recalled the number of bookshelves that lined your home, after all he'd taken note of every detail as part of his mission.
You liked to read.
-
You sat up when you heard a knock at your door, the soldier waiting on the other side. He looked at you with a softness you hadn't seen previously, turning around and walking down the hall, hoping you'd follow him.
You stayed a few feet behind, trailing after him as he led you to the living room, leading you to the large bookshelf. He wordlessly stood by it, the strange sensation of nervousness and anxiety bubbling within him when you looked at what he wanted to show you.
Would you like it? You looked so unsure, scared. Perhaps you wanted to be free, you wanted to leave, you-
"M-May I?"
He blinked hearing your voice, nodding, watching your eyes light up as you scanned the various book titles. Gasps of joy and little squeals of delight escaped your lips as you came across stories you adored.
That wasn't the only thing that made his heart beat faster. Seeing you in his clothes stirred something in him. You were dressed in his red Henley, the hem reaching mid thigh. He was pulled away from admiring you as you squeaked, seeing one of your favorite books from when you were a little girl, a first edition no less.
"How did you get all these" You were in absolute awe, lost in your own world while he pondered how he came to own such treasures. Perhaps he was always a soldier gone rogue. His missions came with a side of thievery when he'd see something that would catch his eye. Something that would spark a memory of sorts, such as an old book he'd seen as he passed an vintage bookstore. Soon, the shelves of the mansion were filled with books and trinkets he'd collected. A part of his brain would nearly break itself to try and connect to the things he'd collect, only for the memories to fail to fall into place.
His mind felt like a pile of shreds from different cloths; pieces that would never fit together again. His little treasures were the closest he'd ever get to remembering, a few sparks from the past that would forever be disconnected.
-
Ever since the soldier had shown you the shelves of books, you'd left your room more often, spending more time reading after cooking. In a strange way you also began to trust the very masked man who had taken you away. You didn't worry about him hurting you. You no longer worried about running into him. He hardly spoke, nothing more than a few words of Russian. He hadn't demanded you stay locked in your room, so why did you?
You picked up one of your favorite books, deciding to read outside in the garden, in need of some fresh air. You hadn't taken much time to look at the outside of the house, pausing as you opened the doors that entered the grounds. It was strangely beautiful, especially considering the assassin who resided in it. For such a dark soul, nature still continued to flourish around it. Tall, overgrown hedge fences surrounded the backyard while weeping willows and bushes of flowers shaded the stone paths that led to a fountain in the very center. You found a comfortable spot under the tree, settling onto the cool grass, the scent of spring calming you as you turned to the first page.
-
The soldier trudged through the doorway, surprised at the way his appetite had grown since you'd started cooking. His body which was used to sustaining itself on the bare minimum now rumbled through the day. He'd find his mind wandering to your pies and craving the comfort of the soup you'd make. The food was set in the kitchen but you were nowhere to be found. He walked past your room, knocking on the door, only to be met with silence.
Where did you go? Did you run away?
He knew something was wrong when he felt his heart sink because he couldn't find you. He couldn't remember the last time his heart felt anything other than emptiness. It was more than just you escaping.
He was worried about you.
He took longer strides as he searched for you with purpose, fingers already itching to reach towards his gun, deciding to first check the grounds in the back. His heart settled when he saw the doors to the garden left ajar, finding you nestled in the shade, curled up in the grass with a book.
You were safe. You hadn't run away.
Again he was left stunned and unable to move. You were the final piece in the puzzle of the garden; you fit there like the perfect flower. He'd seen the garden 100 times before and it had never looked so beautiful.
Not until now.
Roses and daisies grew in abundance but you were the prettiest thing there. You were meant to be there; a soft, delicate, flower.
"цветок"
You set down the book you were reading, looking up to see the soldier peering down at you. You hadn't heard him coming as he appeared before you with the silence of a ghost.
"цветок" He repeated, gazing at you before looking towards a daisy. He kneeled, plucking one and handing it to you, "цветок. мягкий, как ты" [Flower. Soft, like you]. You felt your cheeks heat up as he looked at you intently, blinking with an innocence you hadn't seen before. He looked almost...shy?
"Thank you" You whispered, stroking the petal of the flower he gave you. You didn't understand why you longed for him to stay as he went back inside, your curiosity about him growing with each passing day.
It went on like this.
Most days, you would spend your time exploring the trinkets the soldier collected, staying out of his way while he disappeared into the forest to do things you didn't pry into. Each night you knew he would return, hearing the heavy creak of the doors open during the darkest hours. You'd hear the quiet sound of clinking cutlery and then the soft sound of his bedroom door shut.
Except tonight.
You set down your book hearing the sound of heavy boots dragging down the hall, quite different from the silence the soldier usually moved with. A sense of dread washed over you as you debated on staying put, something telling you to lock the door, hide, something-
"What do we have here" The click of your door opening sent shivers down your spine, your blood running cold as a man strode in, a metal mask covering his face showing nothing but his eyes. You wanted to scream but your voice was stuck in your throat, you felt safe with the soldier, this man was not the same, he lunged towards you, knife in hand, the blade swiping towards your neck, "The soldiers little pet"-
"DON'T TOUCH HER" A growl shook the window as you hugged your knees to yourself waiting for the knife to plunge but it never came. You gasped as the man was ripped away, the flash of silver gleaming as the soldier grabbed him and hauled him away, shutting the door behind him.
"You're weak. You were supposed to kill him"
"So this is what's been keeping you"
"Kill her and come back to us. That's an order"
"Rumlow-
"Kill her. They're nothing more than collateral damage, end them, желание-
You didn't dare move, tears spilling down your cheeks as you heard the sounds of a struggle growing further and further away, eventually melting into silence.
He saved you.
You heard him return, still frozen in fear but the sound of a pained whimper pulled you out of bed. You peered into the hall, eyes widening in horror seeing a trail of blood staining the floors leading to his room, streaks of crimson smeared onto the wall. You didn't think twice as you dashed out of your room to his, your body moving faster than your mind could comprehend as you let yourself in.
Your heart continued to race seeing the blood lead to the washroom where he stood with a needle in hand, beginning to sew a gash on his side across his ribs. His bloodied tactical gear was thrown on the floor though his mask still remained hoping to silence himself as he attempted to take care of himself.
He hissed in pain, piercing his skin while his head began to spin, multiple wounds needing attention, the blood loss starting to take its toll.
"Let me" you hesitated to touch him, going against your better judgement when you wrapped your hand around his wrist, pulling his hand away. The soldier shook his head, fighting the way his body craved for something more gentle, more caring, more loving than the jagged and painful stitches he was giving himself.
"I won't hurt you, soldat" you looked in his eyes with such sincerity, for a moment he thought he'd ask you to be his girl.
Such a doll...
One he'd take dancing...
Call you darlin' with that Brooklyn drawl...
He blinked at the fleeting memory, a whimper escaping his lips when you dabbed his gash with an alcohol soaked cotton ball. You blew across the cut to soothe the pain before taking the needle and carefully stitching him up with a feather light touch.
"There" You whispered after taking care of the awful injuries that littered his body, leading out of the bathroom to lie down so he could rest. You didn't dare ask what had happened as you looked around the room; though there was a large bed with the softest sheets and finest materials but the makeshift pallet on the floor was clearly where he chose to sleep at night. He collapsed from exhaustion, falling into a deep sleep while you remained by his side.
You watched the rise and fall of his chest, occasionally glancing over the dressings you'd put to see if blood had seeped through. You couldn't bring yourself to leave him alone, only getting up to see if you could find a sheet to drape cover yourself with in the cold room. As you removed the blanket that covered the bed, something caught your eye in the mostly untouched room.
A wooden box, carefully tucked away in the furthest corner of the room. There wasn't any dust on it, compared to the other pieces of furniture that were never used. It was something he very clearly wanted to keep a secret. His other treasures that were out in the open on the shelf were different from this.
Even the soldier had secrets.
Your curiosity got the best of you as you made your way to the corner, lifting the box as silently as you could so you didn't wake him, inspecting its contents.
Newspaper articles, some decades old.
Old photographs.
One of a young man.
The eyes.
Those blue eyes you'd become so familiar with.
James Buchanan Barnes.
A brave soldier who fought in the war. A young man, no, a boy, drafted to war, his life ripped away from him, leaving him for dead in an icy forest. You blinked back tears at the innocence the young Sergeants eyes held, bright and heroic, hoping to help in a fight that wasn't his. Scribbles on scrap pieces of paper read "I am James Buchanan Barnes" repeatedly.
Your could feel your heart break into tiny little fragments as you pieced together what happened to the boy from Brooklyn, he had his whole life ahead of him but-
A pained scream tore from his lungs, his eyes squeezed shut as you knelt by his side again, brows furrowed together. You looked over his injuries, everything was still in place but he sounded like he was being tortured. He tossed around, his screams melting into sobs, pleading for someone to stop.
"James?" You hesitated to use his real name, your hushed voice made him flinch in his sleep but it wasn't enough to pull him as he begged for the painto end. He didn't want to lose his memories again. He wanted to remember. Please?
"You're alright James" You cooed softly, running your fingers through his locks while tears continued to stream down his face, lost in a nightmare. "You're not alone"
You were careful not to scared him awake, your gentle ministrations soothing him, his cries coming to a stop. You wiped away the remnants of tears that fell against his cheek, some slipping beneath the mask he refused to remove. You didn't have in you to take it off, not without asking him first. His soft snores filled the room once again as the sun began to rise.
-
He stirred feeling a strange warmth surrounding his body blinking in confusion when he found soft sheets draped over him. The usual sting he'd feel after stitching himself up was nearly non existent. He ran his fingers along the gash, the neat little sutures still in place, covered with a bandage to protect the area. Bits and pieces of the night came to him in waves.
Running into his captors. Evading them. Escaping. The bloodshed. The weapons. The injuries. The pain.
However, there was also softness. Such tenderness. The touch of an angel he'd only be able to imagine in his wildest dreams that would never come true. Not for someone like him. Such sweetness. God, he'd missed it. He missed what such love and care felt like. It was so foreign to him. He was so used to the cold. Razor sharp, jagged edges. He'd forgotten so many things but the longer he kept to himself, the more that came back to him.
You called him by his name. He was sure of it. In the muddled fog of nightmares, he was sure he heard an angel call.
He knew he was in no condition to move or get you breakfast but the delicious smell of your cooking wafted through the halls letting him know it was okay for him to rest. He closed his eyes, flinching at the few prickles of pain he felt in his head.
You were there.
You'd take care of him.
He couldn't remember everything just yet but surely the puzzle pieces would fall into place soon.
-
"NO" The sound of the soldiers pained cry made you drop the book you were reading in your room, running off to find him. He'd fallen asleep after eating what you made for him that evening; you were sure he was getting better. He knelt on the floor, sweat covering his body as he gripped his hair, pulling from the roots. He felt another sharp piercing pain in his head, fleeting memories of things he didn't understand all flooding back at once.
You rushed to his side, taking his hands into yours to keep him from hurting himself. His eyes shot up, tears threatening to spill over, all the things he thought were lost forever coming back together.
He was a Sergeant.
A soldier.
A young man.
One who loved to go dancing.
One who wanted to help others.
Hydra turned him into a beast but you brought him back.
There was always something about you.
His sweet flower.
He relaxed feeling your soft fingers trace against his palms in hopes of grounding him, giving both his flesh and metal hands equal affection. He gently pulled his right hand away to remove the mask, letting you see all of him.
"Soldat?" You whispered, hesitantly brining your hand up to his scruffy cheek. He pressed his hand against yours, leaning into the warmth of your touch, he never wanted it to end.
"цветок" [flower] he whispered back, your eyes widening hearing the precious name he had just for you, "It's me, flower"
"James?" You knew it was no longer the soldier speaking, this was the little boy from Brooklyn, his piercing blue eyes now full of warmth and light.
"Your father, I have to take you home, flower I'm so sorry-" dread began to consume him as he realized how long he'd taken you for, trading one life for another, how could he-
"James, breathe" You held his face in your hands, wiping away the tears that began to fall, your hand coming down the rest against his erratic heart, "It wasn't your fault, I-I read what happened to you, you were taken, it was never you, you're a good person" You soothed his aching heart but it didn't ease how heavy it felt. Every part of him wanted to beg for you to run away, so far away from him so you could be home again yet his arms moved on their own, wrapping you up and holding you close, you fit so perfectly with him.
"I'm still a broken man, цветок" Bucky whispered with a sad smile, holding you with such care as you curled up in his lap. "I don't think I deserve to hold something as sweet as you"
"You're not broken, you deserve this and more" You cooed, inhaling his soft scent, your nose brushing against the column of his neck.
"You took care of me, flower" Bucky held you tighter, hiding his face into the crook of your neck, feeling safe for the first time in years, home had never felt closer.
"And you took care of me" Your fingers moved to card through his hair, pulling his face away so he'd look at you.
"I took you with me, doll" He couldn't shake the fact that he'd taken you from your father, first intending to kill him and then taking you in his place. "I didn't give you a choice, you should be home" The guilt ate him from the inside, if he'd been himself, he would have never-
"And you still protected me with your life" You whispered, your forehead resting against his.
"And I always will" Bucky promised, his lips brushing against yours. He meant it from the bottom of his soul, he'd always protect you no matter where you were. It didn't matter that he didn't want you to leave, that he wished you could stay, he knew you belonged elsewhere. He'd still always make sure you were safe. Exhaustion began to pull at him, his eyes growing heavy as his body continued to fight what Hydra wanted him to do and the man he really was.
"Sleep, Jamie" You pulled him down to lay on your chest, pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead and for the first time in years, he slept soundly without a nightmare.
Over the next few days, you continued to nurse the soldier back to health, hushing him each time he plead for you to go, insisting he'd be okay to manage on his own.
"My body will heal, I promise, you don't have to do all this for me, let me take you home-
"Once you're all better. I'll write to him so he knows I'm safe" You pressed a finger to his pink lips before going back to tucking him in bed. It was true that the cuts had all cleared up exceptionally quicker than normal but you could see the mental exhaustion that plagued him each day.
He found a way to get in touch with your father without alerting anyone in Hydra from finding him and while your father graciously forgave him with understanding, nothing felt easier. He promised to return you home as soon as it was safe but the longer he spent with you, the more he selfishly wished for it to last forever. He promised your father he'd take care of you in every way possible but he knew it was truly you taking care of him.
He'd sleep soundly when you were near, falling asleep quickly when you'd read to him, sometimes softly playing with his hair so he'd relax. The few times he'd been alone, the awful memories would come flooding back leaving him confused and disoriented. It broke your heart hearing him cry, the soldier who was nothing but a killing machine truly an innocent man on the inside, a prisoner of his own mind.
You'd comfort him every single time, every moment more intimate than the next. It started with your soothing voice, sitting by his bed where you'd call his name, your fingers caressing the scruff of his beard, wiping away his tears. Then the nights came where you crawled into bed with him, helping him fall asleep with his head on your lap only to wake up with your limbs tangled together.
Then he started to hold you before he was asleep. He held you tightly while telling you stories about things he could remember. Things that made him smile. That his nickname was Bucky. You would do the same. You told him about all the things your father taught you. He'd start to kiss you goodnight. Innocently with a peck to the top of your head.
Sometimes your cheek.
He so badly wanted to kiss your lips, stopping himself when he felt his stomach stir, especially when your sweet doe eyes looked up at him. When he cuddled you, his arms would wrap around your body, his hands finding their way to the hem of the Henley you wore. His henley. His fingers would slip up to feel your skin, knowing such an angel was real grounded him. You'd do the same, tracing over his scars, neither of you openly talking about the growing tension between you both each day.
-
"Will you read to me?" Bucky asked, wrapping his arms around your waist, his head resting on your shoulder while you stirred some honey into the tea you were making. You giggled at his needy cuddles, his much larger form practically engulfing you from behind. "Please"
"Who'd have thought such a strong, scary soldier would want bedtime stories" you cooed, letting him carry you away to his room, making a stop at the bookshelf first to pick out a new story.
He settled against the headboard with you tucked in his lap, relaxing at you made yourself comfy between his thighs. Your words had an affect on him he couldn't describe, no longer paying attention to what you were saying and instead watching the movement of your lips. Your eyes darting across the pages. Your body pressed against his.
The butterflies started again.
His stomach stirred.
He tried to adjust himself, pulling you into a hug to calm himself down, ignoring the way he wished he could have more.
"You alright, Jamie?" you asked, feeling his squirming, his eyes growing wide as if he'd been caught red handed. He shook his head, insisting you continue reading, God he didn't know what to do with himself.
He fidgeted again, this time trying to keep you off the tightness growing more and more, you made it so difficult for him-
"Are you sure you're okay bub?"
"I don't remember much but-I-I know I want you closer, flower" His voice was shy, his adams apple nervously bobbing in his neck as he shifted, unable to hide the hardness between his legs. His mind was a mess, fragments of love and intimacy struggling to piece themselves together yet he knew enough to want to hold you close.
He wanted to feel your soft skin on his.
He wanted to kiss you in places that would make your cheeks warm.
Where you'd want to cover yourself but let him have you, just him.
He wanted to feel your hands touch him everywhere. He wouldn't flinch at your delicate ministrations, he'd give all of himself to you. He'd trust you in his most vulnerable state, feeling things he hadn't for years, so heavy between his legs.
"How much closer, Jamie" you couldn't meet his eyes, gripping onto his t-shirt instead, setting the book on the nightstand, now all your attention on him.
"You know, angel" He let his nose bury into your hair, the blush on his cheeks travelling to his neck. He couldn't bring himself to actually say what he wanted, hesitantly moving his hands to your hips instead, slipping up your shirt to hold your waist. "Can-can I kiss you?"
He could hardly recognize himself, nervous beyond comprehension, his heart racing when you nodded, cupping his cheek to look at you. He leaned down to press his lips to yours.
"More" You let your body melt into his, his tongue lacing with yours, deepening the kiss. He didn't pull away until he desperately needed air, no longer able to contain his arousal.
"M'sorry angel, s'been so long, my body's not the same-
"Don't. Don't you dare, I adore you just like this Sergeant" He sucked in a breath as you toyed with the hem of his shirt, nodding after a moment letting you take it off. You kissed every scar on his chest, your head resting on his shoulder where metal met flesh, "You're the most handsome, beautiful man," You kissed his neck making him hiss, your tummy jumping at the feeling of his erection now pressed right against you, "You deserve all of this"
"Can I see you, please?" He undressed you with such care as if he was unwrapping the most precious present, first laying you down before slipping your top off. You wordlessly undressed each other until there was nothing left to take off going right back to wrapping your body with his.
"You're the softest thing I've ever touched" He whispered, loving how you felt, your thigh hitched over his hip, your breasts pressed against his bare chest, your soft tummy against the hard planes of his abs, your hands rubbing up and down his spine, oh God your silky most sacred parts absolutely soaking his length. His body moved on its own, rutting up to chase more, his cock slotting so perfectly with his flushed tip rubbing against your clit.
The desperate moan he let out made you gush, seeing how lost he was in chasing how good you felt with the stutter of his hips.
"M'so hard" He whined, hugging you tightly, "Please angel, do something" It was the most delicious torture. You pulled away from his hold wanting to give him every bit of loving he deserved, giving his body the pleasure it had been deprived of. You shuffled to kneel between his legs, his eyes growing wide, your face so dangerously close to where he was achingly hard. There was no way, you weren't going to- your lips pressed a gently kiss to his frenulum and the tears started, you wouldn't give him more than this-
"Baby, oh God, no, no, I can't angel, oh God-OHH" He cried, his body splayed wide for you, bach arching off the bed as you took his swollen cockhead into your mouth, your tongue swirling around his circles, licking every bit of his essence that dripped out. Your face was between his legs, his cock was in your mouth, you were suckling off his most sensitive parts, how could he not spread his thighs apart further for you. He'd never been so open or vulnerable, letting you play and toy with his cock, his tears soaking the pillow at his balls started to pull towards his body, it couldn't be over so soon-
"Sweet baby, please, please-" He pulled you off his cock, bringing you up to smash his lips against yours, his thick length slapping against his tummy. He could have sworn he was close to cumming just tasting himself on your tongue. "Can-please I want to-" He scrambled to lay you against the pillows as you squeaked at the way he manhandled you in desperation, "please"
He was between your thighs, sighing with heart eyes as he carefully spread your folds with his fingers, taking his time smearing around your slick, your throbbing clit begging for his mouth. He latched on like a baby, nursing with the most needy gurgles, your gasp melting into a moan making his eyes roll back.
He couldn't believe he had his mouth on his pretty angel, his tongue toying with the precious parts between her legs, letting him taste her, drinking up her nectar, feeding him in the best way possible.
"I-oh-slow down baby, please, M'gonna- You gasped, feeling surges of pleasure already pulsing as he flicked his tongue with precision, his arms wrapping around your thighs, tossing them over his wide shoulders.
"Mph, cum" he whined before diving in for more, greedily humping and grinding against the mattress, how was he supposed to last like this.
"Want-want to feel you, please" You begged, needing him inside you, giving you something thick and hard to cum on. He didn't waste a second, shakily clambering back on top of you, nervously positioning himself at your entrance.
"You sure, sweet girl? I-it's been so long"
"I trust you" You pulled him down to kiss his reddened nose making him blush, letting out the breath he was holding as he started to push. You both moaned together as he buried himself all the way, stilling once he was flush against you, his orgasm already so close to shooting at the base of his cock.
"Hng, I needed this angel" He didn't move and you didn't need him to, just the feeling of him stretching and filling you fulfilling something you couldn't describe. You loved the feeling of you both being connected in the most intimate way, joined as one, it felt so right like he was finally where he was meant to be. Like he'd found his everything.
Your thighs moved to hug his waist, your arms around his shoulders. He drew his hips back and thrusted forward gentle, the gasp escaping your lips urging him to keep going. He started to move at a steady pace, bringing his hands to lace with yours, pinning them against the bed.
"I love you-even if I have no right, I love you so much" Bucky lost himself to you, his hips moving at a slow grind, letting every inch of his cock fill and caress your walls, "You showed me love when I least deserved it"
"Fuck, I love you too!" You cried out, the curls at the base of his cock rubbing your clit, sending you higher and higher. "Oh, James!"
"My God, the way you say my name when m'inside you, say it again baby, please" He started to move faster on his own accord, primal urges starting to take over as he began to chase his pleasure and yours.
"Please, James, feels-feels so good"
"Gonna make me cum so hard, the things y'do to me baby, drives me crazy, wanna be like this for the rest of my life, making love to you and nothing else, swear this is all I want"
"James, gonna-gonna cum"
"Cum with me angel, all over my cock baby, cum on it, wanna feel it, please give it to me, I need it. Need your sweet cream all over me, fuck-yeah-jus like that-" You clenched around his cunt, his name dripping from your lips as your orgasm crashed over you. That was all it took as he tucked his face right against your neck, holding you tight as he trembled, it was so much,
"M'cumming!!" His sob was muffled as his cock throbbed, warm streams of his cum pumping you full, his ass stuttering with each jerk of his hips. "So-so much for you, s'all for you angel"
Bucky made love to you everywhere, not one place left without him taking you apart to his heart's content, including the garden. The story you were reading was long forgotten as he took you under the shade of the tree, the long wispy branches of the willow tree hiding you from the rest of the world.
The summer sun cocooned you in a blanket of warmth as clothes were all tossed aside leaving you both bare on the sheet you'd spread on the grass, the sounds of the breeze, the rustle of the bushes and your moans blending in so perfectly with his rhythmic thrusts.
"Beautiful" he whispered against your cheek, pulling away so he could look at every bit of you, "So beautiful for me like this"
"Jamie, stop" You grew bashful, you knew no one could see you in your secluded spot so deep in the forest but you still felt so vulnerable, spread out naked with just his body covering you, shamelessly taking his cock while the afternoon sun hung in the sky.
"S'just us baby, just you and me, don't worry" He purred, bringing your arms up, holding your wrists in his metal arm while his flesh hand came down to caress your face. "We're not doing anything wrong darling, m'showing you how much I love you, how good you make me feel, yeah?"
"Yeaah" Your voice melted into a breathy whine as he started to move with more purpose, his warm breath fanning against your face.
"Lookit how pretty you are sweet girl, my pretty flower, you were meant to be here baby, feels so right, just like this"
Out of all the stories and poetry you'd read to him, this was what Bucky saw as true art. He'd seen the finest paintings around the world in the richest houses, guarded by the highest security. He'd seen nature's most incredible wonders with the tallest trees, the sweetest flora and nothing, absolutely nothing, would top how gorgeous you were, bare, on the grass, him filling you up, it was euproic.
The image was etched in his brain, he'd treasure it forever. Your shy moans. The clench of your cunt. The way he filled you up and kept his cock in you even after it was soft. The way you cuddled and kissed in a post sex haze, listening to the sounds of the forest. He could have cried at the way you fell asleep in his arms, so trusting for him to keep you safe.
This was all he needed.
He took care of you, keeping you protected while he did his best to eradicate Hydra with you to patch him up each time he came home. As soon as it was safe, he took you right home and under the care of your father, he healed from the words that held him captive.
It didn't take long for your home to be filled with the sounds of tiny feet mixed with the sounds of science experiments gone wrong; your little babies, their daddy and their papa getting up to mischief at all hours.
"Careful, flower" Bucky shook his head, running towards you as you waddled into the living room with an expression of concern on your face, cocking an eyebrow when you saw your son looking up at you with bug eyed goggles matching his papa.
Bucky came to steady you, his hands coming to wrap around your growing belly while your father and son continued to tinker away at a new creation.
"How are my princesses" He cooed while you huffed, still wondering what they were doing.
"We're both wondering what you're going here James"
"Papa's building me a rocket-
"A bicycle! Just a bicycle darling, go sit, son why don't you take her for a walk" You father ushered you and Bucky out, sending a wink to his grandson.
"A bicycle my foot" You shook your head while Bucky took you to the kitchen, setting a pot of water, ready to dote on you as usual.
"He gets that side of him from you, love" Bucky chuckled, coming down to kiss your belly, resting his head there. "Just wait until she's here too"
"You're a menace, Sergeant"
"You married me, darling" Bucky pouted making you giggle, cupping his face to kiss his jutting lips.
"and I love every bit of you"
"I love you more, pretty girl"
You would always be his flower.
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prettybouquets · 22 days ago
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𝓚indling 𝓢parks⋆✴︎˚。⋆
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gn!reader x viktor (from arcane)
𝓻𝓮𝓺𝓾𝓮𝓼𝓽; hiii i was wondering if you were interested in writing a viktor (arcane) x reader. perhaps the reader is short and is viktors assistant?? I would rlly appreciate if you wrote this for me cuz it’s been on my mind for agessss(so has viktor)🙏🩷
word count; 1,3k
cw; nothing (except use of y/n)
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The lab hummed softly with the sounds of arcane machinery, the glow of strange devices casting shadows along the walls. You were perched on a stool, thankfully tall enough to reach the table before you, organizing rows of crystals and notes. Viktor stood nearby, hunched over a piece of intricate machinery, his brow furrowed in deep concentration.
“Could you pass me the calibration rod?” he asked, his voice even and focused.
“Already got it,” you replied, holding the tool up to him.
A small smile tugged at his lips as he glanced at you. “Always one step ahead, aren’t you?”
“Of course. It’s my job to keep up with you,” you quipped, your tone light.
Being Viktor’s assistant wasn’t easy. He was brilliant, driven, and had a knack for pushing boundaries. It was hard not to admire him, though. His determination to change the world through innovation was inspiring, and you felt a deep pride in being part of his work.
But today, you were finding it harder to focus. Whether it was the late hour or the way Viktor’s hair fell messily into his face as he worked, your attention kept drifting.
“y/n, are you listening?”
You jolted, realizing he was looking at you expectantly. “Sorry! What did you need?”
Viktor chuckled softly, shaking his head. “You’ve been staring off a lot today. Am I keeping you too late again?”
“No! I mean, yes, but it’s fine,” you stammered, earning an amused raise of his brow. “I want to help.”
He leaned back slightly, his golden eyes studying you with a mix of curiosity and concern. “You work harder than anyone I know, yet you always insist on staying late. Why is that?”
You hesitated, feeling your cheeks warm under his gaze. “Maybe I just like the company,” you muttered.
His expression softened, and the faintest hint of a smile curved his lips. “The feeling is mutual.”
The room fell into a comfortable silence as the two of you worked side by side. Despite his occasional complaints about your height—like when you struggled to reach tools on the higher shelves—Viktor appreciated your meticulousness. You often caught him glancing your way with an almost imperceptible fondness.
After a while, you stood on tiptoe to place a crystal into its housing on the machine Viktor was assembling. The stool wobbled beneath you, and you yelped as your balance faltered.
“Careful!” Viktor exclaimed, his cane clattering to the floor as he steadied you with one arm.
You blinked up at him, clutching his sleeve for balance. “Thanks,” you murmured, your face burning with embarrassment.
He chuckled, his voice low and warm. “I thought I told you to let me handle the high shelves.”
“You tell me a lot of things,” you teased, trying to mask your flustered state. “Doesn’t mean I listen.”
Viktor’s laugh was soft, and he shook his head in mock exasperation. “You’re incorrigible.”
As he steadied you, his hand lingered just a moment longer than necessary before he stepped back to retrieve his cane. “You’re all right?”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” you replied, waving him off. “Just my pride that’s hurt.”
He smiled faintly, his eyes lingering on you. “You know, I could build you something to help with your… vertical disadvantage,” he offered, his tone teasing but affectionate.
“Very funny,” you said, sticking your tongue out at him. “But maybe I’ll take you up on that if you promise not to make it ridiculous.”
Viktor returned to his work, but the atmosphere between you felt lighter now, like the unspoken tension that had been building was beginning to ease.
“You’re not just here because of the work, are you?” he asked after a while, his voice unusually soft.
You froze, your hands pausing over a stack of notes. “What do you mean?”
He glanced at you, his expression thoughtful. “I mean… I see the way you look at me sometimes. And the way I…” He trailed off, clearing his throat as a faint blush crept into his pale cheeks. “I’ve grown rather fond of you, y/n.”
Your heart skipped a beat, and you turned to face him fully. “You have?”
He nodded, his usual confidence tempered by a rare vulnerability. “You’ve been at my side through everything. You challenge me, support me, and make even the longest nights bearable.” He hesitated, his fingers fidgeting with a loose piece of wire. “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t look forward to seeing you every day.”
You felt your chest tighten, warmth spreading from your heart to the tips of your fingers. “I...I feel the same way,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.
His eyes met yours, a flicker of relief and something deeper crossing his face. “Then perhaps I’ve been a fool for waiting so long to tell you.”
Stepping closer, you smiled up at him. “You’re a genius, Viktor, but even geniuses need a nudge sometimes.”
He chuckled, the sound soft and full of affection. “Perhaps you’re right.”
The space between you seemed to shrink as he reached out, his hand brushing yours. For a moment, the lab and its glowing machinery faded into the background, leaving only the two of you standing together in the quiet.
“Thank you,” he murmured, his voice barely audible.
“For what?”
“𝓕𝓸𝓻 𝓫𝓮𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓫𝓻𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽𝓮𝓼𝓽 𝓹𝓪𝓻𝓽 𝓸𝓯 𝓶𝔂 𝔀𝓸𝓻𝓵𝓭,” he replied, his eyes holding yours with an intensity that made your heart race.
You squeezed his hand, your smile widening. “Anytime, Viktor. Anytime.”
The night carried on, the hum of the lab filling the air as you returned to work—but now, the space between you felt warmer, closer. It was a quiet kind of affection, one built over long nights and shared dreams.
You and Viktor returned to work, the hum of the lab filling the space, but now the silence felt warmer—less like solitude and more like home.
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© prettybouquets 2024. all rights reserved. please do not copy, modify, or repost any work as your own.
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i2sunric · 8 months ago
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𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔 (p.js)
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pairing: doctor!jay x reader (f)
summary: you’ve always thought dating a doctor was hot until you started realising his job was taking your place— but don’t worry, being a doctor meant jay could always stitch your broken heart up!
warnings: fluff (like, 3am typa fluff), early 2000s au, childhood friends to lovers but they’re already lovers, angst (with comfort) cuddling and kissing, a little suggestive (no smut), they grow up together (narration starts from 18), mentions of stress and fainting, mentions of pregnancy, fighting, if more lmk. NOT PROOFREAD.
published: 29th April 2024
wc: 10.5k (longer than i intended ;-;)
tag list: @stolasisyourparent @jaeyunsbimbo @heelvsted @wtfhyuck @kim2005bomi @luvpjs7 @sundoie @sunghours @anittamaxwynnn @tinie03
It was the last summer of senior year at high school, the year that everyone would choose what path to undertake, the life they wanted to live, the job they wanted to get.
As scary as it sounded, you didn’t want to think about it yet, just to focus on living your last summer as a teenager before adulthood kicked in with all its difficulties and challenges.
You were laying on the bed at Jay’s holiday cottage at the lake, the temperature of the afternoon was too hot to let you stay outside, so you seeked some escape from the humidity in his bedroom. The grids were only slightly open to let some sun rays enter the room, just enough not to turn on the light.
You were reading a pook, wearing only a dump swimming suit and a pair of jeans shorts, you drenched the sheets but you knew it would be perfectly dry by the evening, so you didn’t really care.
Jay laid on the other side of the bed, your feet beside his head as he studied an anatomy book. You had a clue on how difficult it was to enter the medicine faculty, but seeing your boyfriend giving up his whole summer just to bury his nose in those headache-bringers books made you feel sympathy for all the doctors.
The book in your hand had become boring five minutes before so you just closed it, letting it rest on your chest. You nudged Jay’s arm with your foot “I’m bored.” You let out a small sigh
He looked up from his study material and gave you a soft smile before reaching out to pat your ankle. "I know you're bored, baby. But I'm only an hour away from finishing this.” Jay gave you a reassuring smile
“After I’m done we could go outside and sail the small boat?” A couple of minutes of silence passed and he was ready to you making a fuss about how boring and dull studying was until you said “Or maybe I can help you with your studies?”
"You sure that you wouldn't mind helping me with my studies?" He replied, raising his eyebrows. He let go of your ankle, but he quickly pulled you by your knees while you were curled up on his bed and laid you on top of his lap instead, so now you were using his body as a mattress.
“I’m not as smart as you,” You murmured, snuggling comfortably on his chest as he placed the book in front of both your faces. The amount of latin and difficult words made you close your eyes right away “I’ll just flip the pages when you need.”
Jay let out a low chuckle and pressed a featherlight kiss on your head. It was a small team game, he tried to involve you in his studies, making you ask him some questions to know if he had said it right.
You felt a warm sense of pride in your chest to know that your boyfriend was working so hard for the sake of his dream. You flipped to a page that had a big skeleton drawing on it, beside it there was a man with all the muscles without skin.
You scrunched your nose at the amount of names all the bones and muscled had “You memorised all those names?”
“Not as easily as others do," He confessed, letting out an audible sigh as he caressed your head. "I find it easier when I explain the answers to someone who's willing to listen."
You looked up to his face, your eyes shining with endless love “I’m always willing.”
Jay gave you a sheepish smile, hooking one arm under your knee to intertwine both your legs together. He squeezed your hip in response and you two resumed studying together.
After around fifteen minutes, you started to become bored again. All those letters made your eyes feel heavy, you blinked them a few times “Are you done yet?”
He chuckled softly as he shook his head from side to side. "I still have to memorise more chapters," He sighed, looking up at you with an apologetic grin.
Despite his efforts, it was clear that he was having troubles memorising the contents of the page, and even he knew he was going to be up for quite a while more.
You caressed his chest, feeling the heat radiating from his body even under the white sleeveless shirt he was wearing.
You toyed the necklace you had given him for his fifteenth birthday in your fingers, the same jewel he had sworn to never take off “What are you studying now?”
He raised his eyebrows and looked down at you, smiling as he watched you play with the necklace. "Right now I'm studying about different body systems and conditions, the respiratory system." he said, looking back down at you
You laid your ear on his chest and he fell silent, you tried to hear his breath and commented with a forced funny voice “Your lungs function well.”
“I guess they do.” Jay chuckled, rubbing your back as he continued to study.
The room fell silent once again but your head was full of thoughts.
You started thinking about your future, you pictured yourself in different situations or workplaces but none of them seemed good enough. Or maybe it was you not good enough.
"You know, it's admirable that you already know what you want to be in the future..." You murmured, snuggling closer to him.
The corners of his lips spread into a small smile as he heard your compliment. "Is it admirable for someone my age?" He asked softly, brushing your hair out of your face
“Uh uh,” You hummed, flipping another page for him “I don’t know what I want to be,” You confessed quietly “I don’t see myself anywhere.”
Jay raised his eyebrows as he stopped studying for a long moment to give you his whole attention.
He then looked down at you and lifted your chin to face him. "Are you really unsure about what you want to be in the future?" He asked, his eyes searching for yours.
Your eyes met his deep brown once, and you shook your head, feeling vulnerable. “No, I don’t.” You sighed softly “My mother… My mother wants me to go to some sort of job counsellor.”
Jay let go of your chin to caress your back again “That’s a great idea, actually.” He encouraged, smiling gently. “I mean, it’s better to ask for help now than choosing something you don’t want to do… ain’t it?”
You hummed, dropping your head on his chest “I guess so.” Your tone went quiet and he had been with you enough to know you didn’t want to discuss that topic anymore.
A few minutes passed by and your yawn caught Jay’s attention. He caressed your head, letting his hand run through your hair “You should get some sleep, Y/N.”
“And who’s gonna flip your pages?” You asked, your tone sleepy and your eyes clearly fighting to stay open
He chuckled, placing an incredibly soft feather-like kiss on your nose “I can flip them myself, you look like you’re going to pass out from your tiredness.”
“I guess I could.” You rested your head more comfortably on his chest and closed your eyes. “But when I wake up you better be done studying.”
Jay nodded “Alright baby.” He smiled, watching as you drifted off to sleep right there in his arms. At moments like that, he thought he was the luckiest man alive to have you— and he planned to never love you.
⪩⪨
College years had arrived and to no one’s surprise, you and Jay were still a couple. Seriously, you two loved each other too much to stay away from the other, even with your busy schedules.
You were laying on the lower bunk bed in his dorm. His roommates were out for dinner and left the whole house for you two. And obviously, what was Jay doing instead of spending time with you? Studying.
You acted like you didn’t really mind, flipping through the pages of a magazine. But seeing his back facing you, his hand moving as he was scribbling things on his notebook— you couldn’t help but feel sorrow.
“Are you going to study the whole night?” You asked quietly, not wanting to sound rude as you rolled on your wide to face him.
Jay raised his brows and finally turned around to look at you. His face was tired, pronounced dark circles under his eyes and he had probably skipped his self care routine for a few days. That didn’t make him less attractive, though.
“Pretty much,” He replied “I’m kind of behind on a lot of study materials.”
“Oh.” You nodded, shifting again to face the mattress of the other bed on top of Jay’s. He took in your bored expression and grimaced “You know you don’t have to stay here while I study, right?”
“But we don’t have time to spend together apart for some evenings,” You stated, looking back at him with a pout.
He chuckled softly, letting out a quiet sigh before closing his study materials and walking over to the bed. He climbed in beside you so he was under the covers with you. He then pulled you in and cuddled you tightly. "I know," He murmured, squeezing you a little tighter “I know baby.”
You rested your forehead on his shoulder. “I’m sorry, I don't want to disturb you.”
Jay laughed quietly as he kissed the top of your head. "You're not disturbing me in the slightest bit, so don't apologise,"
He said, running his hand through your hair gently. "I honestly don't mind having you beside me while I study." And you knew that, but sometimes you felt as if you were just an element of disturbance in his daily life.
It all started when you saw him fall into a deep slumber anytime he sneaked in your dorm, like he hadn’t closed eye for weeks; then how he’d always find a way to escape your dates to review a few materials and like now, when he’d study with only you in the room.
You knew he didn’t do it on purpose, he was just trying to survive college, and you felt guilty to have such resentment.
You looked up at him from his shoulder “I just… miss you nowadays.”
His eyes instantly softened "I miss you too.” He sighed “I know I’ve been studying a lot more lately, and I understand if you feel like I'm not spending enough time with you," He admitted.
“And I understand that you’re busy,” You acknowledged “You always work so hard for your degree.”
Jay smiled sadly and rubbed your arm up and down "I know I study like crazy, but it's because all of these things matter so much in the future.” He started explaining “It means that I'll be able to have a more secure job and..." he sighed again and paused before continuing “And i wouldn't have done this if I knew I couldn't spend time with you."
Your brows knitted “Don’t say that.” You raised your head so you could look into his eyes.
“You’ve been wanting to be a doctor since we were kids, Jay, And—“ Your voice cracked a little “I can’t guarantee we’ll be forever together, but you’ll always have a stable job with the degree you’re studying for.”
Jay nodded “I know that too…” He rubbed his temples, frustrated “I just wish I could spend more time with you.”
You smiled and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek “It’s okay, when exams season is over we’ll go on a small vacation, sounds good?”
He chuckled softly, wrapping his arms tightly around your body while pulling you closer towards him. "Sounds nice." he murmured, planting gentle kisses on your forehead “Although…”
You asked in a quiet voice "Although?" Jay looked away, “I still have a big exam coming up next month," He confessed, rubbing the back of his neck. "I don't know how well I’m going to do, honestly."
“Oh,” You gulped, blinking “And why do you think so?”
Jay gave you a half-smile "I Just feel like I'm not studying enough. The material i need to memorise.. It’s so much— I'm worried that I won't be able to remember most of it when the time comes."
You stayed silent for a few beats, trying to find any solution to help him “Maybe we should do a no-contract month?”
It took him a moment to process what you said "A no contact… month?" Jay repeated, looking away at the wall "Do you mean.. as in no contact with each other? For the entire month?"
You nodded slowly, not sounding sure of your own choice “So you don’t have any distraction and can concentrate on your classes?”
He raised his eyebrows, letting out a long and steady breath before speaking. "I understand it might help me with my studies, but.." Jay looked away from you again, unsure "Don't you think it's a bit too extreme?"
You fidgeted with the blanket, looking down “I know..”
“I mean... it seems pretty extreme." His fingertips then began to massage his temples. "You're right though, I do get pretty distracted when we're together, and my studies have been lacking because of that."
You tried to mask the pain you felt in your heart with a small smile “It’s just a month.”
Jay couldn't help but frown at the idea of not talking to you or seeing you for an entire month. "Yeah, but—" he started, but then suddenly realised. "Wait, does this no-contact month also mean that we can't meet either?"
“People usually do it after a break up, but we can do it just to focus on college. It’s like we’re off but we aren’t, we just don’t talk to each other for a month.” You exclaimed, nodding
He bit his bottom lip “We really can’t meet for a whole month? At all?”
“Baby, listen,” You caressed his cheek, propping yourself up on your elbows. “I don’t like this either, but it’s for the best?” You asked “I don’t want to get in your way.”
He sighed once again “You’ll never get in my way, never say that.” He then slowly nodded his head.
"I completely understand your point, but...it just feels way too bizarre.” His brows were furrowed. “I mean, we're used to talking every day, for us to stop talking for an entire month, it's just..." His words trailed off as he sighed and looked away.
You moved some hair away from his forehead “Just until your next exam.” You said “I’ll work my part time job, save some money and we’ll rent somewhere for a week, just us.”
Jay looked at you, worry painted all over his face “And you’re sure you’re completely okay with doing this?” You gulped down “No,” You whispered “But I’ll have to.”
He seemed to debate your suggestion, silence filling the room. After a couple of minutes, he caressed your cheek “Fine, I guess it's what's best for the both of us right now." He murmured.
“Just stay with me tonight,” You begged, “We’ll start tomorrow.”
His heart broke a little at your wobbling bottom lip “Let’s make the most of the night, my roommates will be back in early morning anyways.” Jay was still surprised you suggested that weird break, and he was even more stunned he had accepted.
You took his face in your hands, bringing him in for a kiss. “I love you.” You murmured on his lips.
Jay softly smiled against your mouth before he kissed you back, wrapping his arms tightly around your body as he started to pull you into him. His arms squeezed you more as he deepened the kiss a bit more, letting out a soft groan into your mouth. "I love you more.”
“No, I love you more.” You stated. He smirked and shifted position so he was now on top of you, resting his weight on his elbow not to crash you down “Bet?”
His hand cupped your cheek before slowly sliding down on your chest. You gasped since it was cold. “Jay… someone might hear us.”
“I don't care,” Jay shook his head, his tone breathless. His mouth claimed yours once again, full of unspoken but mutual feelings “Be mine for the night.”
“I’m always yours.” You said, letting him do anything he wanted, knowing you had made an oath to never leave his side.
⪩⪨
Finally, college had almost finished and it was the last day before university. Anyone would’ve been on cloud 9 but you felt a pang of sadness. It meant you and Jay had to part ways, the university he had chosen was in the big city, five hours away from your hometown.
You waited for him outside the graduation hall, seeing groups of overjoyed students throwing their hats in the air.
Jay came out of the room, rushing after having read your message. He wore his graduation gown and looked ever so perfect.
He saw you, a bright smile immediately appeared on his face as he started to walk to you.
He was incredibly nervous about leaving for college and it showed on his face as he approached you, but seeing you there made everything else seem a bit less threatening.
He finally reached you, wrapping his arms around your waist. "You came," he said softly, burying his face in the crook of your neck.
You hugged his chest and whispered “How could I not?” Jay squeezed you back as he grinned, "I'm glad that you did, but I was already sure you would.”
He gave you a quick kiss on the cheek “You never miss a single big milestone of mine.”
“I’m afraid you’re stuck with me, doc.” You teased him with the nickname, but your teary eyes gave away your true feelings.
“This year has gone by so fast.” He murmured, caressing the back of your neck "And of course I’m stuck with you. I wouldn't have it any other way." His smile was so gentle it made you fall for him over and over again.
But the grin on his face disappeared as quickly as it appeared, making you frown “What’s wrong?”
Jay shook his head, “I’m just worried about us now since we'll have to do long distance."
Your lips trembled but you still managed to let your words out “We’ll be okay, right?”
His heart sank as he noticed your trembling lips. He gently squeezed you and gave you a small, reassuring smile. "Of course we'll be okay. If anyone's going to make long distance work, it's the both of us.”
Jay caressed your cheek with his thumb “I believe in us, and I’m going to come back as often as I can so we have time together. It'll be okay."
“Right,” You forced out a smile “We’ll make it work.”
“I’ll be back for summer, we can always go to the lake cottage,” Jay reassured, knowing you’ve always loved your summer trips to his holiday house
“And whenever we have a holiday—" He muttered, a small frown appearing on his face when he realised that you wouldn't be able to see each other as often as they used to.
You couldn’t hold it anymore and a few tears fell down your cheeks, you sniffled “Of course.”
His eyes widened when he noticed you were crying "Hey... hey, hey, hey," He murmured softly, wiping away your tears with his thumb. "Don't cry right now, everything's going to be okay, mh?”
“I’m sorry,” You shook your head, smiling with sad eyes “I don’t know why I’m crying.”
Jay’s face contorted into a painful expression, his heart pounding heavily in his chest.
He had always hated seeing you crying, but knowing that he was the reason behind your tears made his stomach close. “You know that I'm going to miss you just as much as you'll miss me once we're long distance, right?" He asked.
You chuckled and nodded, sniffling once again “I’ll be here waiting for you, Jay.”
"I'll be back for you every chance I get," He promised, squeezing you a bit tightly.
"Remember to keep in touch constantly, alright? No matter how busy we are, let's always make time for each other over the phone." Jay took out his phone from the pocket. “I bought this new Nokia only for you.”
You smiled widely and showed him your phone, a Nokia of the same type just in a pinkish colour “I bought this for you too.”
Jay pulled your face close to his chest, caressing your head and hair in a gentle manner, just like he always did.
He never failed to make you fall for him with every small action, treating you as if you were worth it. And to him, you were worth every fight, every difficulty coming with relationships. He’d endure it all just to be with you.
“I’m sorry,” You took a deep breath, trying not to let your voice shake. “I didn’t even congratulate you.” You smiled widely, “I’m so proud of you, baby. I really am.”
Jay hadn’t realised how much he needed to hear that until he did.
“Thank you. Seriously, thank you, for always being by my side.” He placed a featherlight kiss on your forehead "You know, since it was your graduation today as well... Maybe I should give you a graduation present.” He trailed off “I actually have a surprise for you, if you would like it."
Your brows shot up in surprise “You do?” Jay nodded and motioned you to wait.
He battled a little with his gown before retrieving a tiny velvet box from the pocket “Here you go, baby.” Your eyes scanned it, “What is it?”
Jay bit his bottom lip to hide his smile “Open it.” He held it out for you to take. You gave him a small stare before opening the small box, revealing two couple rings.
Inside there was also a note that said ‘One day you'll get the wedding ones.’ Your breath hitched.
He smirked as he watched the expression on your face change, becoming incredibly surprised and even a bit teary-eyed as you opened the box.
His eyes softened as he glanced down at the rings “I know they're not the actual wedding bands and it'll take a while until we get to that point... but I wanted to give you these as a symbolic gesture of me promising that we'll be married someday."
You mumbled nonsense for a few seconds, happy tears rolling down your cheeks as you felt overwhelmed by his sudden actions “I love them, I love them so much— I love you.” You blurted out.
Jay held you against his chest as you both embraced each other. "I love you too," He whispered, burying his head into your hair. "I love you so much."
“Oh lord,” You stumbled a little back to look at the rings once again “How much did you pay— They look so precious.”
“Don’t mind that,” Jay wiped the remaining tear stains “You’re worth it, so very worth it.” He tucked your hair behind your ear “And you’re right, they’re precious. Like you.”
You rolled your eyes and hid your face in the crook of his neck “You’re so romantic.” Jay planted a small kiss on your head “You like it when I’m romantic.”
You stayed like that for a few more minutes, just melting into each other’s embrace.
You then sniffled and took one ring out of the small box “Doc, would you mind giving me your right hand?” He chuckled and held his hand out for you “Not at all.”
Jay smiled back as he let you place the ring on his finger, his heart instantly warming up when he realised how real this all really is.
He was finally going to be able to say that he was officially engaged, that he was soon going to be married to you. Jay looked down at the ring as you finished and his eyes started to tear up a bit.
"Thanks," his voice barely came out of his throat, but he was still able to softly smile.
You then gave him the small box and held out your hand for him. He gently squeezed your hand “Shall i?" He asked as he motioned towards your finger, wanting to put the other ring on it.
“Please, do.” You whispered, the anticipation killing you.
Jay carefully took out the ring and looked it over for a couple of seconds.
He then slipped the ring on your finger very slowly, making sure that it was fitted well “It fits perfectly.” He commented, kissing your knuckles, barely brushing his lips on them, like a true gentleman.
You sniffled again and let out a euphoric chuckle before wrapping your arms around his neck, pressing your lips on his, never wanting to get away from that boy.
The moment you kissed him, his arms tightened around you, not wanting to let go of you ever again.
He had never felt this way before until you came into his life, back in third grade. He had truly felt complete, that he had finally found the person he would spend the rest of his life with. “I want you always," he mumbled softly between the kisses.
“I want you forever,” You murmured back with the same sincerity. He kissed your lips once more, needing to fill his nostrils with your sweet scent, his mouth with the taste of you before he had to move away for five years.
⪩⪨
A couple of years passed and between ups and downs, you and Jay were still strong. Long distance was difficult, you couldn’t lie, but keeping yourself busy with your small café and meeting whenever you two had free time was enough for you. Besides, you could still call with your matching Nokias.
Which was your plan for that afternoon, you sat down on a table at your café and dialled his number, mindlessly playing with the ring on your finger as you waited for him to pick up, hoping it wouldn’t go to voice mails.
One the call reached Jay, he smiled as he recognized your number on screen, picking it up immediately. It had been some time since you both had called each other, so hearing your voice brought a smile to his face before he opened his mouth and greeted you. "Hi, babe.”
“Hey,” You whispered, relief evident in your tone “Am I calling in a bad moment?” You asked, hearing chatterings from the other line.
“No, no, not at all.” He sat down on a bench outside his university building “What are you doing? Just working?”
“Yeah,” You sighed “But business hasn’t been going well nowadays.”
His heart instantly sank as he heard about how business hadn't been well. He wanted to be your support system always, even when he wasn't there physically as much as before. “Oh no… I mean, you're doing your best with it, right?"
“I guess I am.” You replied "No, you are." He quickly corrected you “Do you want me to come over so that we can talk about it? We can work on solutions or at least brainstorm."
You were quick to dismiss “No, don’t do five hours of train just for a small complaint of mine.”
Jay tried to recall in mind his schedules, he had finished lectures for that day, which meant he could come to you and then take the late evening train back to the city “Baby… Don’t tell me not to come over if you need me there.”
"I’m serious, Jay, it's okay," You murmured quietly "I just needed to hear your voice, if you have free time you should use it to rest."
The way that you cared for him made his heart beat fast. "I'll gladly come over," He said softly. "I have time to spare. plus.. if I come over, I can actually hug you and comfort you better than over the phone, can’t I?"
“You already came over three weeks ago.” You stated “I know, but like I said, I’d rather spend time with you than not.”
You dismissed him once again “I’m fine Jay, you don’t have to.”
“Babe, don’t tell me you’re fine if you’re not.” Jay pleaded “I don’t think you are, let me come over.”
You stayed silent a few beats “What about uni?” He knew you’d ask “I finished classes for today, I can come over for a few hours and then come back before classes tomorrow.”
You sighed, your voice cracking a little “I could really use one of your hugs.”
“Okay,” Jay breathed out “I’ll be there, wait for me at your café.”
Hating that he couldn’t teleport right to you, he hurried to the train station and waited, knowing you were going through a rough path.
You hardly ever asked for help, and Jay was sure whatever was going on had been haunting you for a while for you to call him in such a state.
After a few hours, the door of your café opened, making the small bell ring. You turned around and started saying “Welcom—“ When you realised it was your boyfriend.
Jay entered the cafe, his eyes instantly searched for you and his face lit up when he found you. It wasn’t hard, you were the only one there.
You were running towards him and he felt his whole heart melting. His arms were wide open and he smiled warmly, taking you into a warm embrace.
Jay immediately pulled you close to his chest, burying his head in your hair and breathing you in.
It had been three weeks since he last was at your side and the scent you had filled his lungs as he finally was this close to you again took him aback by how familiar and comforting it was.
You sobbed quietly, letting out all the tears you’d been holding as you hid your face in the crook of his neck, smelling the familiar scent of lavender of his clothes softener.
Your whole body quivering almost uncontrollably, and he knew you were hiding so much sadness behind those tears. “Shhh... shhh.. It'll be okay," He hissed softly, his voice calm and soothing as he kept whispering those same words to you over and over again.
You pulled away slightly, your whole face contorted in a frown “They want— They want to shut it down.”
Your sentence lacked context but he realised that your cafe was probably going to be closed down soon.
He didn't want your business to close, especially when he knew that it was your pride and joy. He pulled you back into his chest again, “It'll be okay. We'll figure something out.”
“It won’t!” You snapped, your voice breaking “It never does…”
Jay’s heart hurt even more as you shouted, your voice sounding so defeated and sad.
He didn't like the harsh reality you were facing and the fact that you would be going through this— Jay was supposed to protect you from the world, but he had neglected you for too long.
“Oh God—“ You blinked faintly, realisation hitting you “I didn’t know why I shouted, I’m sorry.”
The corner of his lips turned upwards briefly. "Hey, don't apologise for showing emotions." He gently dried your tears "It’s just... so frustrating to hear how you're losing something that you care about, that you've put so much effort in and that you're so passionate about."
You let out a bitter chuckle “It always goes this way.” Jay wanted to scold you for always thinking so low of yourself and never fighting, but he was in no position for that.
“I don’t know what to do,” You shook your head to emphasise your words “If it shuts down how will I pay the rent? I won’t have any money.”
Jay could feel you panic and didn’t want that stress and worry to get to you. "We'll figure something out," He said as he gently cupped your face and lifted it up so that you were staring at him. "We'll figure something out. You're not going to be in this alone, I promise."
You shook your head once more, sobbing “I’ll have to move back with my parents— we’ll be even further away.”
The possibility of you moving into your parents' home still made him feel sick. He wanted to keep you close to him and wanted to share a home with you.
He wanted to move in with you, not have you move back to your parents' house.
"Y/N, it's not going to come to that," He muttered softly, kissing your forehead. You sighed and let yourself go, your weight pressing on him “I’m just so tired.”
“Let me take some of that weight off you, baby,” Jay whispered “I’m here.”
You stayed silent a few beats, letting the mere presence of Jay put back the shattered pieces of your soul. “You just had five hours of train and all I did was complain.” You dried your tears with your thumb.
You showed him a faint smile “Sit, I’ll make you a cup of coffee.” He nodded and walked to the nearest table, sitting down.
You made him a cup of coffee and sat down on the chair opposite to him, smiling “It's on the house.”
He grinned softly as he took the cup, the smell of the coffee filling him with delight.
It was such a simple thing and yet it meant so much to him, given you made it. "Oh, so even though you're in a rough patch, your hospitality has not gone," he teased playfully before taking a sip.
“Call it boyfriend pass.” You winked at him. You then cleared your throat and fidgeted with the ring “How’s uni?”
Jay took another sip “Just uni, lectures… assignments here and there, many exams.” He trailed off “Just very busy.”
Your brows knitted in guilt “I’m so sorry you had to come here.” Jay took your hand in his, your rings tingling as they touched “You needed me, You needed comfort." He chuckled lightly. "And there's nowhere else I should have been other than here."
You answered with a smile and took your chair, scooting close to him. You put your head on his shoulder “Want me to stroke your hair for a bit?” He asked and you nodded “Please.”
Jay started stroking your hair, sipping the coffee with the other “How do you feel right now? Better?”
You chuckled “Less like a wreck.” A few minutes of silence followed until Jay asked “Are you scared of losing the café?”
"I feel like all the efforts I made weren't enough." You closed your eyes "I should've settled for a more stable job."
"But that would've made you so unhappy, you know?" he spoke softly. "Baby, I feel your enthusiasm every time you talk about your café, don’t regret something that made you happy.”
“What about you?" You raised my head and rested your chin on his shoulder to look at his face "Do you ever get so tired of studying you want to quit?"
"Sometimes," Jay admitted. “There were plenty of all night studying sessions that kept me up and made me question how I got to this point in life." He laughed, nudging your side playfully.
"But I would've never thought of quitting. I know it's going to pay off in the end." You hummed “Of course, You always work so hard.”
"And so do you," He whispered softly, squeezing your hand gently. "Sometimes I don't understand how you work at your cafe for so long and still have energy left to do other things... and sometimes I'm just worried about you overworking."
“You don’t push yourself too much right?” He asked, his voice laced with worry. Your sudden silence made him wonder if you were not telling him something.
“I fainted once.” You confessed. His grip tightened around your hand as he looked down at you, “You fainted? When? Why didn't you tell me about it?"
“Before Christmas break.” You whispered “It was exam season, I didn't want to distract you.”
It was in moments like those that Jay felt like giving everything up. Because why on earth would you think you were being a burden, a distraction to him when you literally fainted?
"No, no... you should have told me, even if I was busy. I would've come to you then." You sat up properly “I didn’t want you to.”
He was speechless for a minute, his mind trying to process what had happened. "Why wouldn't you want me to know? How could you go through it on your own?”
"Jay, Jay," You said, taking his face in my hands. "I'm grand, alright? I'm doing fine."
"I don't like that you hid something so serious from me," Jay muttered softly, his eyes meeting yours. "It's too important to hide from me."
“I know,” You nodded, letting go of his face “And I’m sorry.” Jay nodded at your apology “How did it happen?”
You sighed “I couldn’t afford to keep other workers so I had to run the café alone, I ran around and around and then I had a few other things.” You gulped down, recalling the moment “I went to bed feeling a little dizzy, I paid it no mind but the next morning as I woke up I fell flat on the floor.”
Jay’s whole world shuttered. He looked down to the floor, his jaw tense as he took in your words “You should’ve never ignored those signs, Y/N.” He called you by your name only when he was serious, his low voice sounding a little scary
“How could you—“ Jay took a sigh, trying to calm down “It could’ve been worse, something could have happened while you slept, you could’ve hit your head..” He looked as if he was on the verge of tears.
“Jay..” You murmured “I’m okay now, I know the risks I took, I was incoherent.” You took his hand in yours “It won’t happen again.”
“I should just transfer back here.” He got up from the chair, pacing around the room “I can take the train everyday to the city, I can do that, yeah.”
“No.” You stopped him “Jay, no.”
“Yes,” He turned around, facing you. His breath was heavy “Y/N, you— you could’ve died.”
“I didn’t.” You tried to soothe but even you felt like your efforts were worthless. “That doesn’t change the fact that I almost lost you— and I wasn’t even aware!” Jay looked like a maniac, his hands in his hair and his eyes bloodshot from frustration.
There was a moment where you both just stared into each other’s eyes, no words exchanged. Your eyes were full of regrets for having kept that from him and his were filled with the same emotion for not having taken care of you the way he should’ve.
“Don’t give up now, not for me.” You shook your head, slowly walking closer to him until you touched his forearm with your fingers, letting him know you were there. Breathing.
“You’re worth it.” Jay breathed out the same words he’d been repeating you, looking down at you, studying out features. His glance was so soft it almost hurt “Not this.” You shook your head.
Jay pulled you into a hug, so tight and full of emotions “Just three more years and we’ll be together.” He murmured “Just a little bit longer and we'll be able to share an apartment together. Just you and me."
You smiled on his chest, hugging him back “And we’ll get married.”
His entire face lit up with glee whenever you mentioned the idea of marriage, his finger swirled around the ring on your finger. “And we'll get married," He whispered softly, his eyes still focused on yours. "We'll finally be married and our families will finally stop asking us about our wedding plans," He laughed, the previous tension already forgotten
“Don’t even get started.” You laughed as well
"Yeah, for me it's my mom constantly bothering me with 'so when is it going to happen?'" He paused for a moment and cocked his head to the side playfully. "And for you? Is it your dad that's constantly bringing up the topic?"
You smiled and nodded “He’s afraid he’s going to die before he can walk me on the aisle.”
“That’s just a better incentive to wife you up.” Jay held your arms in his hands, gently rubbing them. You looked up at him and couldn’t help but cup his face, bringing your lips to him once more.
Jay’s eyes lit up the moment you kissed him. He let out a soft murmur, his lips responding to your kiss softly.
“I missed you,” You murmured between kisses “I missed you so much.”
“I missed you too,” Jay responded, his lips travelling to the back of your head, tilting it to deepen the kiss “Only three years and you’ll be mine forever.”
“I think I’ve always been yours.”
⪩⪨
Another year had passed and New Year’s Eve came. A bummer that Jay could not come back to you those holidays because he had found a job to maintain his studies and was simultaneously studying for an extra course. After the small fight you had at the café (that shut down not long after) you two grew closer, if it was even possible.
Despite the long distance, you felt so connected to him. You dialled his number, feeling as you waited for him to answer.
Your phone beeped a bit before hearing his familiar tone on the other end. "Hey babe," His voice was as bright as ever “Did you miss me?"
“Hi,” You breathed out, sniffling due to the cold temperatures “I don’t miss you at all.” You teased
Jay’s brows furrowed slightly as he heard you sniffle. "Hey, are you okay? Are you sick?" He asked instantly with concern, ignoring your playful joke and wanting to make sure you were alright.
"I'm outside!" You explained happily, looking around at all the people inside the main square "Fireworks are nicer if you see them from here."
He let out a sigh of relief when he heard that. “Good. you gave me a bit of a scare there, babe. Are you enjoying yourself?” As expected, the soon-to-be doctor always worried for nothing.
“No, there are so many couples here," You joked "My boyfriend is so evil he didn’t even come to me."
Jay chuckled softly "Oh yeah? Just wait until I'm there. I'll make all those couples in the whole square jealous." He groaned, "Ugh, I can't believe I'm missing being with my girlfriend when we should be spending the new year together."
"I understand," Yoh reassured, looking up at the huge clock ticking close to the new year, a feeling of both nostalgia and excitement washing through you. "What are you doing now? Don’t tell me you’re studying".
“Well... you guessed it," He admitted softly, “...Studying. I have a final exam for my extra course coming up soon."
“No, Jay.” You said sadly “Not now.” His brows furrowed at your sudden change of tone and he asked “What’s wrong?”
You sighed “Can you drop your pen and walk to the window?”
Jay was caught off guard by the unexpected request. Though he had no reason to resist you, he set his pen and his open study books aside and stood up. He walked to his window.
"Three more minutes before the new year," You murmured "Look at the fireworks with me, the sky is only one so it makes me feel closer to you."
His eyes immediately turned to the outside, looking at the fireworks and the sky that was lit up by so many bright colors. It was breathtaking, and his eyes took it all in as he stood in the window, watching the sky as the time slowly ticked towards the new year.
He could almost imagine you right next to him, both of you watching the beautiful display together. "Yes," He whispered, “I can almost feel you right next to me."
“One more minute!” You squealed happily, earning a chuckle from your boyfriend.
Everyone started laughing and screaming, clapping their hands as the clock struck midnight, the sky lit up with more fireworks “Happy New Year, baby.” You told Jay and he said back the same words.
“Just one year and half until our big plan.” You stated, looking down at your ring.
“Just one year and half…” He repeated, a small smile displayed on his face
“We’ll be alright… Won’t we?” You asked, your voice quiet, barely audible with all the external noise. But Jay still heard you, he always did.
The question you asked was so simple, but it carried a lot of weight to it. "Yeah. We'll be okay, babe." His soft voice assured you of that. "Of course we will. We have always managed to find ways to deal with distance... we'll be fine."
You looked around and saw couples kissing and holding hands, spending that special time together. Feeling a bit overwhelmed, you stepped away from the square and back on the way to your apartment "Can you stay on the phone a little longer? Until I get home..."
“Of course baby,” Jay reassured, playing with the necklace he always wore. “I’ll stay on the phone as long as you need me.”
You started walking, your nose red and cheeks hurting from the cold weather “It’s so cold nowadays.” You commented.
"Hey... you're okay, right? Are you sure you'll be alright making your way home alone? Are you wearing enough layers?” Jay asked softly, his tone of concern obvious.
You chuckled at his words “Don’t act like my mother.”
He laughed along with you. "Sorry... I just— worry too much about you sometimes. you know?”
You nodded though he could not see you. “I know, but I'm grand here.” You hummed “I’m an independent woman.”
“That may be true,” Jay stated, his whole face shining from the light of the fireworks “But your boyfriend here is worried about your health, especially in this cold weather.”
"I’m about to reach home and then i'll take a warm shower and go to sleep," You murmured, placing your free hand in your pocket "You don't study until late night, ok?"
"Well..." His voice was playful "No promises, a man's got to get good grades.” But your tone wasn’t “Please Jay… At least not today.”
“Okay, alright.” He knew you were just worried for him the same way he was for you “I’ll stop studying for tonight.”
“Promise?” You asked, “Promise.” He answered.
“Then, after you take a shower, can you stay on the phone for a while?” Jay’s voice was laced with vulnerability, the long distance taking a ton on him as well.
Your voice softened at his words “Of course baby,” You whispered “I’ll stay with you on the phone.”
“Hey, Y/N.” Jay murmured “Yes?” You said, fiddling with the keys.
“I love you.” You stopped moving for a moment, “I love you more.”
⪩⪨
Years passed by and vows were exchanged, Jay and you now happily lived together.
You still remembered that day when you got him at the train station, feeling all giddy to finally have the life you’ve always dreamt of with the only person you’ve ever loved.
You thought all your vicissitudes were over, that your many many years of patience had finally paid off— but no, because Jay’s traineeship was taking your place yet again.
Despite the fact that your apartment that once looked lifeless was now hosting a couple, it seemed as if it had lost its previous colours with your gloomy demeanour.
Jay spent all his day at the hospital, learning new things and trying to build a good relationship with his superiors.
And it’s not like you weren’t happy for him— No, you were overjoyed… but what about you?
Since you two became a couple, it felt as if you had spent all your life waiting for him, waiting for the life you two had promised to build together, but the only effort came from you. And now that you were married, the crack in your heart started to become a chasm.
Everything went downhill when, one day, you woke up yet again to an empty bed, the wrinkled sheets the only proof they Jay had spent the night there. He came back late and got out in the early morning— an endless circle that maybe he was used to when he was still a student.
But now Jay was your husband and you seeked all the things any wife wished for. Just some quality time would have been enough.
You got up from the bed and held your breath when you heard a noise coming from the living room. Quietly, you tiptoed to the bedroom door, peeking from the glimmer of the half-closed door.
A rather messed up Jay stomped around the house, in search of something. You got out of the door and walked inside the living room “Jay?” You asked
Without even greeting you, he just said “Where’s my spare gown?”
You blinked faintly, your mind still a little empty from sleeping “I don’t know.” Jay let out a deep groan “I told you to wash it the other day.”
“I still need to hang it with the laundry.” You replied, now remembering “You know I need it to work, Y/N.” His voice was low
“The other one?” You asked “Dirty,” He just mumbled, fumbling with some shirts “Hey! I had folded them neatly.”
“Fold them again.” Jay just answered “I need my gown, we have an important meeting today with the head doctors.”
“It’s dirty,” You stated “Just ask one of your colleagues to lend you one.”
“There’s my name on the gown.” He stopped and dropped the clothes on the floor. “I can’t talk to them while wearing someone else’s name.”
“Just cover it.” Jay rolled his eyes and let out a sigh, “I’m trying to help you.” You said, noticing his distressed behaviour.
“Well, you’re not.” He tsked, making you open your mouth in disbelief. Jay looked at you, raising a brow “What?”
“What?” You asked back with a frown “You just disrespect me and the work I do in our house and you ask ‘What’?” Your voice was dangerously low.
He gulped, glancing down at the discarded ironed clothes on the floor. He picked them up and placed them on the chair once again “Here.”
You let out a sigh and looked away. “Just take your dirty gown and go to your meeting.” You said harshly.
Jay ran a hand through his hair, frustrated “Listen Y/N— I didn’t mean to be so rude.” You still refused to meet his gaze.
“Please, love. Don’t get mad now.” He walked a step closer to you but you just backed away, making him frown “What’s wrong?”
“Everything.” You muttered, your eyes full of hurt now locking with his dark ones. His breath hitched as he took in your pained expression.
“W-Why?” He asked, genuinely confused, “If it’s because of this— I’m sorry, I’m just so stressed.”
“And I am tired.” You stated “I am tired of waking up to an empty bed and going to bed the same way, I am tired of spending all my holidays alone because of your work.”
You let out all the build frustration you had felt through the years “I am tired of waiting for you, Jay, when will all this end?”
Jay raised his hands to caress your arms but you stepped back again, not needing to break down now, but needing to set this straight.
“I know, I’ve been so busy lately.” You scoffed, “You’ve always been busy.”
“I’ve been waiting for you my whole life, Jay.” Your tone was shaky, “I’ve always supported you, since we were kids and even more after we became a couple. But I feel like I missed the most beautiful years of my life because of you.”
His breath sagged “Don’t say that..”
“But it’s the truth.” You stated “I said more ‘I miss you’s than ‘I love you’s in this relationship.”
“I—“ Jay’s bottom lip wobbled. “I’m sorry..”
You sighed, shaking your head. You then glanced up to the clock “It’s already eight, you’ll be late to your meeting.”
You turned around and were about to walk into the bathroom when Jay’s big and strong hands wrapped around your waist “I love you, Y/N.” He said, almost desperately.
You tried your best not to let your tears fall “I know,” You whispered “But maybe you love your job more.” You shrugged away from his embrace and locked yourself in the bathroom.
Jay tried to open the door but you had already turned the key, he helplessly knocked on it “Y/N, please, let’s talk this out.”
As much as you wanted it, your whole body and mind was drained from the constant feeling of sorrow you said in a quiet voice “Just go away, Jay.”
Yeah, he wasn’t going to do that. “Please, come out, let’s talk.” He pleaded
But you just dismissed him once again “I don’t know the things I’d say if we talked now.”
Jay knew he had messed up, really bad this time, and he wanted to make it right. To make it up.
How could he be so obvious to your pain? How could he have not noticed?
You had all the right to be mad at him, in fact, he deserved the slaps you should’ve given him. He deserved your anger, your resentment.
He wasn’t in his right mind that morning— Truth is, he hadn’t been for quite some time.
Traineeship was so exhausting, coming from a whole adulthood of self sacrifice and sabotage, he thought he was the only one suffering. Turned out you were as affected by his actions as him, if not even more.
Jay was so lost in thought he hadn’t even realised he had been typing the same word countless times in the report of the previous meeting. As much as he tried not to think about it, his mind kept drifting back to you.
One of his colleagues noticed his gloomy demeanour and sat on the chair in front of Jay’s desk, tapping his fingers on it “Hey there.” He waved a hand in front of his face.
“Not now, Jake.” Jay groaned, resting his face on his hand, his cheek slightly crushed against his palm “I’m not in the mood.”
“Damn man,” The doctor with the heavy australian accent commented “Who pissed in your cornflakes?”
Jay took a deep sigh, shaking his head “No one, I just am an emeritus douchebag.” Jake raised a playful brow, “Tell me something I don’t know?”
But the death glare he received from the other party made him nod in acknowledgment “Troubles in heaven?”
Jay frowned “How’d you know?” And Jake just smirked in response “You’re so obvious.”
He then leaned his elbows on the desk “Tell me everything.”
Jay tsked “Why should I?” And Jake clicked his tongue back “Dude, believe me, you’ll feel better after you confess your sins.”
“Why do you assume it’s my fault?” The Australian eyed him up and down “Is it not?”
Jay sighed heavily, running a hand on his face “I messed up really bad.”
He nodded, letting Jay know he was listening “Y/N… She’s the best thing that ever happened in my life,” He started “She is my first friend, my first love, my first kiss and time… It has always been her.” He smiled unconsciously.
“But I failed her, I think, I haven’t realised she’s been suffering in silence all these years.” Jay shook his head at himself.
“Does she regret your marriage?” Jay’s eyes widened at such a statement “God, I hope not.” But then he bit his bottom lip “I wouldn’t blame her if she did, though.”
Jake sighed “Listen man, I met Y/N only once or twice, but I see the way she looks at you.”
“How?” Jay asked “As if you were the only one in the whole world, and I mean it.”
“But maybe she doesn’t anymore,” Jay sighed softly “Maybe I lost her for real this time.”
Jake raised a brow, “You love her?” Jay looked at his colleague as if he had just offended him “I’ve always loved her and I always will.”
“Damn right!” Jake smirked, “Now, go tell her.” He shook his head, “I’m on duty.”
Jake sighed and turned the computer screen toward him, he opened a few types and typed on the keyboard and he turned towards him as well and then smiled victoriously “Not anymore.”
Jay glanced at the screen just to see his name had been replaced with Sim Jaeyun on the file with all the rounds “Why?”
Jake got up from the chair and patted his mate’s shoulder “Go get your wife back before it’s really too late.”
⪩⪨
“I’m coming home right now, I’m coming back to you and I’ll make sure you actually stay, both physically and mentally. I’m so sorry for everything baby, and I know this voice mail will probably find you in a desperate state and it breaks me to know I am the cause.” Sigh “I just hope you can forgive me, because I love you, definitely more than my job.”
You replayed Jay’s voice mail countless times, his voice breaking, clearly on the verge of tears. You sat down on the sofa, waiting anxiously for the front door to open, and when it did, you raised to your feet.
Jay rushed inside, almost stumbling as he took off his shoes and gown, discarding both of them on the floor. You both stared at each other, just taking in your presence “Hi.” You breathed out.
Before you could even comprehend what was happening, Jay’s arms wrapped around your body, your head pressed against his chest “Forgive me, love.” He whispered in your ear.
You pulled away, just enough to look inside his eyes “It’s okay—“ “It’s not.” He cut you out, “Don’t lie baby, not anymore.”
Jay’s deep, brown eyes were so sincere you felt your heart skip a few beats “I’ve been foolish, I didn’t realise your discontent for nine whole years. But I do now, I see all you sacrificed just to be with me. I see you.”
You smiled gently, looking up at him. He didn’t fail to notice the swelling and redness in your eyes “I see you too.” You whispered, placing one hand on his cheek.
“You saw me even before I saw myself.” Jay’s tone was gentle, he leaned on your palm “You never miss a single big milestone of mine.” He repeated the same words he said back during graduation day, the day he promised your hand. “I feel like I crashed your dreams, ruined your life.”
“No,” Your brows knitted “No, Jay, don’t ever say that again.” Sincerity filled your eyes “You are my dream.”
A tear fell down Jay’s eyes, a quiet sniffle escaping him. You brought his head down on your shoulders and gently patted his back “Why are you crying?”
“I thought I lost you again, because of my stupidity.” He shook his head, clinging onto your waist as if you were a lifeline.
You took his hand in yours and brought it on your chest “Do you feel it?” You asked. Jay raised his head and stared at you with teary eyes. He concentrated on the palm on your chest and felt your heart beating fast.
“That’s the effect you have on me.” Jay looked like a lost child at your words “Still?”
“Then, still, always.” You nodded your head, your lips curling into a soft smile “What happened this morning, to both of us, it was the anger speaking.”
Jay gently held your hand and brought it to his lips, his knuckles brushing on your ring finger. “I want to focus on you more, to make up for all those years we’ve lost because of my job.”
“Will you let me?” He asked, his head tilting to the side “Yes.” You breathed out
“I’ll take care of you,” He brought you closer by your hand, your chest flush against each other “I’ll spoil you rotten.” He brushed your hair away, his breath hitting your skin, making you shiver “My dear wife.”
You wrapped your arms around his neck, murmuring on his lips “I want to have a baby, Jay.” His brows shot up in surprise “You do?”
“Yes,” You caressed the back of his neck. “I want to be the mother of your children.”
“Damn love,” Jay let out a shaky breath. “You can’t say things like that without bearing the consequences.”
You bit your bottom lip, bringing him down to you “I’m ready to bear them.”
Jay took you in his arms in a swift movement, carrying you over his shoulder and spanking your ass “To the bedroom.”
⪩⪨
“Hey, love.” Jay sat down beside you by the porch of the holiday lake house, placing a mug of iced tea on the table.
“Thank you.” You thanked, taking it in your hand with a groan “I really miss coffee.”
“I know,” He smiled gently, caressing the swelling of your belly “But caffeine isn’t good for the baby, is it?”
“Dad! Can I sail the boat?” Your eldest daughter asked, pointing at the boat near the shore of the lake “Fine, but be careful!” Jay shouted so she could hear and you both watched as she sailed the little box you used to sail as well during high school summer break.
You smiled, recalling the old memory, and Jay did the same, watching your face as if you were the best view of all.
“Do I have something on my face?” You asked, feeling a little self-conscious “Beauty.” He winked at you and you nudged his shoulder playfully.
His eyes fell down on your belly once again, a warm expression displayed on his face “Thank you so much, Y/N.”
You frowned at his sudden thankfulness “For what?”
“For everything,” His voice was full of sincerity “For this baby, for our other daughter, for being by my side.”
“And thank you for loving me.” Jay added, once again kissing your ring finger, this time his lips lingering a little longer on your knuckles.
“Oh, Jay.” You let out a shaky breath “That’s very effortless.”
Your eyes then fell down on the necklace, the same one you gifted him for his fifteenth birthday. Your fingers unconsciously reached for it as you began playing with it “You still wear it?”
“I’ll take it in the grave with me.”
[⪩⪨] END.
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lordprettyflackotara · 9 months ago
Text
Till Dawn || Eyeless Jack
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Smut, 18+, minors dni. Tw: size kink, overall rough ass sex, unrealistic demon sex, stalking, a sprinkle of cnc, safe word IS in place, obsession, blood, blah blah. all the things. i had to lock tf in to finish this, it’s been sitting unfinished foreverrr. here you go my lovely’s <3
part two is here
part three is here
You were a fascinating creature.
EJ thought so, anyways.
Many years had passed since he had been human, his interest in mortals having previously faded. That engrossment only slipping away further after he had moved into Slenderman’s mansion.
Typically, besides killing for food, (and maybe fun), he never strayed from home.
When Jack wasn’t home, he was never staying. Always passing through.
That was, until he saw you.
Your scent was divine, the demon lurking inside the depths of EJ clinging onto the idea of a tasty snack.
Once Jack had found you, he began studying you from a far.
You weren’t hard to find, the annoyed curses leaving your lips giving away your location easily. You were awkwardly stumbling over your arms full of groceries, struggling to unlock the front door to your tiny home.
Typically EJ wouldn’t have noticed your behavior at all, his animalistic instincts shouting at him to break into the window upstairs. To slide in, waiting for you to get settled. To creep behind you and slit your throat. He could hear your heartbeat, the steady pulse sending adrenaline through his veins. His mouth was beginning to salivate under his mask, his interest now peaked as he observed your life.
You liked your coffee mostly black, with a single sugar cube. You were a night owl, giving Jack plenty to watch as he hid in the shadows of darkness. It occurred to EJ as he watched you join another round of an online game, your thick headset covering your ears, that he hadn’t really thought about what humans did in a long time.
Over the years he had sort of lost the man he once was, forcing himself to view mortals as meals, nothing more. After all, one sensitive vital organ and they’d be dead. Humans were so fragile. They aged so much quicker than he did. Why would he ever get attached?
The thought of a potential attachment hadn’t occurred to him, ever. EJ was content with passing through. He was content with his minimum social interacts with his fellow creeps back at the mansion.
But your scent.
Eyeless Jack grew more and more puzzled the longer he studied you. Why did you smell so fucking good? He had never cared for blood before, wounds not visible on your body anyways. Your pulse was normal, but he heard pulses around him all the time. Including two sets he lived with. Unless he was hunting, EJ had grown accustomed to tuning them out.
What was it about you?
It wasn’t until one night he was perched up in an oak tree, watching you prepare for bed. EJ had never considered himself to be a peeping tom. The female body held no interest to him other than the organs it contained. That was of course, until he saw you changing. You had tugged your shirt over your head, your bare breast bouncing as you pulled down your pants. Your panties were lacey, a material EJ hadn’t touched in ages. For the first time in years, Jack could feel his boner brushing against the fabric of his boxers.
You were so innocent, so unaware of his presence. EJ felt heat rush to his cheeks, awkwardly looking around to make sure no one else was looking at you like he was. You were so careless, leaving your curtains open like this. He was sure you figured since you were on the second story no one could see you. Jack liked that idea, him being the only one that could see you like this.
This made him only pay more attention. His attention now was not only on you, but the people you associated with. EJ liked that you mostly had friends and regular coworkers. He had no competition, no problem to deal with. His mind overworked itself trying to come up with realistic scenarios where he could meet you. Where he could feel the heat of your body, his cock buried in your cunt.
Despite Jacks obsession, he knew that the situation wasn’t ideal. His being over 6’5 and having dark gray skin the very least of his appearance issues.
The longer he watched your life, he noticed you were lonely. It didn’t matter how many friends you hung out with, he saw the look on your face deep in the night. The photos in your room of everyone you loved, every single photograph missing yourself. The filthy books you spent your time reading, the romance movies you watched. You needed a lover. Someone to tend to your needs, every dark desire.
He was over the moon when the opportunity presented itself.
Ben had given him a heads up, letting him know a ‘gnarly storm’ was heading the way EJ had recently been camping out at.
Standing in the rain wasn’t ideal for EJ. He didn’t particularly like being wet, the rain beginning to pour down. The thunder clapping and lightning striking was comforting for him, the wetness of the situation, not so much.
It was a usual night for you, your teddy bear wrapped desperately in your arms as you attempted to fall asleep. EJ watched you turn over restlessly, the storm clearly delaying your regular sleeping cycle. His gaze wondered over to the bright pink vibrator charging on your nightstand, his eyebrows raising.
When did he miss that?
It had to have been when he went to hunt earlier. Living off of deer was borderline revolting, his craving for human organs much more prominent. However he knew if he wanted to stay, eating one too many human organs created too much attention. A good chase from the cops taught him that lesson. Took him lots of stitches to heal, ones he had to do himself.
It occurred to Jack in that moment that if he was going to go through on his idea now was the time. He slowly walked down the thick branch of the oak tree, careful not to slip as he approached your window. He crouched down, raising his hand. He tapped on your window with his index finger, the unfamiliar feeling of fear filling him. Would you call the cops? What would you do? He watched you stir in your bed, as if you were internally debating if the noise was real.
EJ waited patiently for the thunder to subside, before tapping again. This time you sat up, your eyes landing on the window. EJ nervously realized this was the first time you were looking at him. He raised his large gray hand, waving at you. Your eyebrows furrowed, throwing the sheets off of you as you approached your window. EJ knew your window was broken, unable to be locked. He noted you pretending to unlock it, before shoving it upwards.
“Can I um, help you?” You asked. The rain droplets were splashing into your dry room due to the wind. EJ didn’t like that. He cleared his throat, trying to sound as non threatening as possible. He knew humans to be sensitive and after all of these years of not thinking twice about his voice, he was thinking about it now. “May I come in? It’s a bit wet out here,” EJ said as calmly as he possibly could. He watched you study him, your eyes fixated on his gray hands.
“I’m n-not so sure that’s a good idea. My brother’s home and I don’t think-” You stuttered, the lies spilling from your lips. Jack didn’t like this. You weren’t a liar. Without touching you, he slid into your room nimbly without a second thought. His drenched clothes were dripping water on the floor, his sights scanning the room up close for the first time.
“Hey! You can’t just barge in here!” You yelled. You stormed over to your nightstand, grabbing a baseball bat with ‘Vikings Middle School’ engraved on it. You rose the bat over your shoulder, swinging it with full intent to hit your intruder. Your eyes widened in fear as EJ caught the bat in mind air, his slender gray fingers wrapped around the metal. He tiled his head to the side, observing you.
First lies and now an attempt at assault. This is not off to a great start.
Jack immediately caught a whiff of your scent, the newly founded fear reeking off of you. And it was divine. EJ pushed the bat aside, taking a step closer to you. “Dont lie to me. I’m not here to hurt you. I’m here to offer you what you truly want in exchange for shelter from the storm,” EJ said. You were adorable, practically shaking in fear as he towered over you.
“I don’t want money if that’s what you’re offering. I’m not interested-” You began protesting. Jack noted your heart racing, his ears twitching at the delightful sound. He made you nervous. EJ’s dark chuckle cut off your sentence, causing you to stop talking. “Thats not what you truly want,” Jack purred. With another few steps towards you, he had backed you into a wall. With his arms on each side of your head, he slowly rose his knee. With an unseen smirk, he placed his knee between your legs.
A skimpy nightgown rode up your thighs, your face turning a light pink. “You’re lonely, I can fix that. I’ll only stay until dawn,” EJ said. Consciously he made an effort to be gentle as he rose his hand to touch your face. You were softer than he could’ve imagined, the softest silks having nothing on your skin. “I’m n-not-” You stuttered. Your heart was racing faster. It was music to EJ’s ears. “The vibrator sitting on your nightstand says otherwise,” Jack replied cockily.
His new found confidence was evident, your attention fully on him. Finally on him. EJ leaned forward, tilting up his royal blue mask as he leaned towards your ear. His voice was deep and soft, his breath hot as you trembled beneath him. “I promise i’ll make you feel really good,” EJ purred. His words were utter filth, your face flushing with heat. You could feel your core throbbing, your lust for a stranger so dirty but so thrilling.
“What’s your name?” You whispered. EJ was surprised by your question, causing him to lean back and slide his mask back into place. “I’m Jack, but you can call me EJ,” He replied. You toyed with the idea of asking him what EJ stood for, but decided against it. You stood up a little straighter, attempting to take more control of the situation. “Well EJ, if you’re going to fuck me, you better fuck me like you mean it. I want you gone at dawn. Understood?” You asked boldly.
A devious smile was curling up EJ’s lips, his mask blocking the view of his razor like teeth. “I knew you’d give into me, I can smell your arousal,” EJ replied. His gaze traveled down your body, soaking in your cleave that was revealed and your plush upper thighs. As if you could sense his devious thoughts, you pushed at his chest. “Hey i’m not kidding. Be gone at dawn or i’m calling the cops,” You threatened. Jack chuckled, before grabbing both of your thighs.
He picked you up with ease, your legs automatically wrapping around his waist. “Gone by dawn. I got it. If you want me to stop say red. Say anything else and I won’t, got it?” EJ asked. He carried you over to your bed, plopping you onto your soft mattress. You audibly whimpered an agreement, staring up at the man in front of you.
“Oh and one other thing,” EJ began, shoving his hoodie over his head. You marveled as his bare chest, his dark gray skin defining his muscles. “Dont freak out,” Jack finished. You stared at him blankly, blinking before he slid off his mask. EJ wasn’t a fan of removing his mask for any reason, not even to his victims. The most he would do is show his razor blade teeth every once in a while. Matter of a fact, he couldn’t remember the last time he had removed his mask in front of anyone.
Jack had pondered about what to do about his appearance, the oozing black empty eye sockets something that couldnt be ignored. He figured revealing it immediately would get it out of the way, and based on the way you reacted, he’d know what to do. His obsession with you wasn’t just pure filth or attraction, you smelled absolutely delicious.
He would win in every scenario.
He would know how to make his choice based on your reaction. You were confused, watching as EJ leaned down over you. He pinned you to the bed, your body on fire with desperation. “Scared?” Jack purred, waiting to hear all of the insults he heard in his worst nightmares. You found yourself nervously chuckling, thunder rumbling outside. “Only of not cumming,” You replied in a cocky tone, causing EJ to smile. Surely the unsettling rows of animalistic teeth were going to set you off.
But they didn’t.
Your approval and calmness gave EJ confidence, his lips bringing themselves to yours. He was careful, restraining himself so he didn’t accidentally nip you with one of his teeth. He kept his tongues in his mouth, deciding that would be a surprise for later. He was rough and needy, his lips practically begging yours to respond faster. His hips pressed down lower on yours, his bulge visible and pressed against your clothed cunt.
You tasted like mint, the taste flooding his tastebuds with an intense craving. You bucked your hips upwards, whimpering in his mouth as he grinded against you. “Needy huh?” Jack taunted. He pulled down your night gown, exposing your bare breast to him. He leaned down, placing soft and gentle kisses onto your chest. “I know you aren’t talking,” You teased.
EJ growled into your skin as he lowered himself down your body, prying open your thighs. “Whys that?” He murmured, pressing his chapped lips against your plush inner thighs. You clamped your mouth shut, your hips involuntarily moving upwards towards his mouth. “Dont think I get any play huh? Thats funny, considering you’re practically begging me to touch you,” Jack snickered cruelly. He was relishing and thriving in your desperation, dragging your panties down with his razor sharp teeth.
They poked holes in your thin panties, the shredded clothing being dragged down your legs. EJ couldn’t take his eyes off of your bare cunt, your cheeks flushing a shade of red as the demon above you admired your dripping wet cunt. Jack had seen a cunt before, in his human life and accidentally in his demon one. But yours, yours was a sight for sore eyes.
With his index finger and middle finger Jack spread open your lips, admiring how wet you were for him. “I don’t have all night-” You began complaining, only for one of EJ’s tongues to lick a stripe up your cunt. Electricity shot through your body, causing you to let out a sinful moan. “You do have all night. I have you until dawn. And trust me, you’re going to remember this long after,” Jack said, returning his attention to your aching core.
To your surprise Jack had three tongues, each of them assaulting your cunt is different ways. Two had made their way inside of you, abusing your cunt by fucking you. The other was attacking your clit, stimulating you into a babbling mess. You grabbed his hair, his name spilling off of your lips involuntarily. It was all happening so fast, your body struggling to keep up with the pleasure. Jack couldn’t contain himself, unable to tease you any longer.
Your pussy tasted better than any fucking organ he had ever eaten. You yanked at the roots of his brunette hair, chanting you were going to cum. This didn’t encourage him to slow down, the killer in between your thighs only wanting to make you do it again.
“F-fuck Jack I-I can’t,” You whined, closing your thighs around his head. Jack smirked as he removed one of his tongues from your clit, allowing him to speak. “You know what to say if you actually want me to stop. I think you like this though. I think you like being treated like the whore you are,” Jack panted. You felt humiliated at his words, your walls squeezing around his tongues.
This made EJ chuckle, his gaze now settled on your bright red face. “You like that don’t you? Being a whore for me?” Jack asked mockingly, continuing to fuck you with his tongues. Truth was when Jack had caught you reading the dirtiest of books, he ensured to do his research. To imagine himself being the one to do the things to you like he read in the filth romance novels.
You tried to hold back your unholy moans, biting your lower lip as Jack stared up at you. His third tongue playfully licked across your clit again, causing your hips to jolt upwards. “I asked you a question,” Jack said sternly. His large hands pinned down your waist, prying your thighs open. “Y-yes I like being a whore,” You replied pathetically, feeling the knot in your stomach tighten. Jack brought his spare hand to your cunt, drawing quick circles around your throbbing clit.
Your legs began to tremble as an animalistic, low growl left EJs throat. “Whose whore are you? Tell me,” Jack ordered, your walls squeezing around his tongues. You could barely make sense of his words, the ecstasy he was providing you too heavenly. “I’m yours, i’m your whore Jack. Fuck, please make me cum,” You pleaded.
She taste good and can beg? Fuck me.
“Cum for me like the good little whore you are.”
Your legs shook violently and attempted to close as you came, Jacks merciless assault coming to an immediate halt. He watched you ride out your euphoria, slipping his tongues out of your cunt. Your pussy was red and puffy, suffering from the abuse of a demon. He wiped his chin with his hand, crawling up closer to you. Your heart was pounding so loudly it took everything in him for Jack not to tear it out of your chest.
“You’re going to feel so fucking good wrapped around my cock,” Jack growled, sloppily pushing down his pants. He leaned back, lightning flashing as he stroked his cock in front of you. “You sure you can handle me? You seem tense,” Jack asked teasingly. He knew was far bigger than you, your eyes widening at the mere sight of his shaft. “I can handle anything you throw at me,” You say, swallowing to create some moisture in your dry mouth. Your throat and mouth having gone dry from making so many sinful sounds.
Jack smirked as he slowly slid inside of you, his tip alone stretching you out. You whimpered, causing Jack to lean forward. He sank into you slowly, peppering soft kisses on your neck. Purposefully he targeted your more sensitive skin, testing the waters to see which areas made you loosen up more. You clawed at his back, your face scrunched up in pain. EJ studied your face carefully, slithering one of his hands down to your puffy clit. “T-too much,” You babbled, your words beginning to slur. Your hand slid down to grab Jacks wrist, the killer above you not changing his mind.
“Need you loosen up a bit more. You’re doing so good. You can do it for me, yeah?”
His words were like a remedy for your pain, his cock now fully buried inside of you. You pulled your hand away from his wrist, your fingertips brushing over the outline of his cock inside of your stomach. You forced yourself to open your eyes, the sloppy circles Jack was drawing around your clit helping you adjust. You swallowed hard, meeting the gaze of the lust filled demon above you. “You can move,” You whispered. Jacks ears twitched, almost as if he was making sure he heard you right.
“Play with your clit for me while I fuck you,” Jack ordered. You did as instructed, your small fingers trailing down to your abused clit. You drew slow circles as Jack propped himself up, slowly bucking his hips into yours. You let out a loud moan, his cock hitting your g spot. The demons gaze fell down to your womb, his eye sockets widening as he saw the shape of his cock slide in and out of you. “So fucking tight for me,” Jack snarled, picking up the pace.
His thrust were brutal and animalistic, unlike anything you had ever seen before. Or felt before. His pace was relentless, his body not seeming to tire. “Jack!” You cried out, wrapping your arms around his neck. He brought you into a sloppy kiss, struggling to be careful not to cut you with his teeth as he fucked you. “You feel so much better than I thought you’d feel. Fuck,” EJ groaned into your mouth, losing his control.
One of his teeth nicked your lower lip, a small tinkle of red crimson blood dripping down your bottom lip. Jack didn’t have time to think, his mouth on yours immediately. But this time, for a different reason. He sucked at your bottom lip as he pounded you, moaning at the taste of your blood. You felt disgusted how accepting your body was of this, your eyes fluttering shut as you allowed him to suck at your lower lip. Jacks orgasm was coming closer, even if he didn’t want it to.
His pace didn’t let up for a second, his body a slave to your pussy. He released your lip with a pop, growling as he felt his orgasm come closer and closer. “I’m going to fucking breed you. You’re gonna be all mine, all fucking mine,” Jack huffed, his control long gone. His gaze met yours, your face fucked out and your moans incoherent. “Cum with me. Cum all over me,” He panted, his orders now weak. Your small fingers were replaced with his own, his slender fingers resuming the assault on your clit.
“Fucking shit, EJ!” You cried out, gripping his arm as you felt your orgasm wash over you. Your walls were milking his cock, begging him for his cum. They were pleading with him to breed your pretty little cunt, to make you all his. Your orgasm was all it took, his hips stuttering as he came inside of you. His moans were no longer the human language, his sounds of pleasure reverting back to incoherent growls. EJ panted as he looked down at you, your bottom lip puffy.
Your neck was covered in light purple and brown bruises, his light pepper kisses not as light as he thought. You were fucked out, your body lying limply on the mattress below you. Slowly he slid his cock out of you, your cunt red and puffy from the abuse. EJ watched as a mixture of his and your cum dripped out of you, your breathing slow and heavy. “Y/n?” Jack whispered. He was terrified he had broken you, his gaze landing on the bruises in the shape of his fingers that had littered your soft thighs.
You murmured an audible response, causing Jack to sigh in relief. He looked over his shoulder, the sun coming over the horizon. The storm had subsided, a light spring shower coming down from the sky above instead. You sat up slowly, watching your tall demon lover dress himself. You were dizzy and tired, blinking slowly as he shoved his pants back on. “You don’t wanna stay?” You asked softly, yawning. EJ gave you a cheeky smile, before shoving his mask back on.
“We had a deal didn’t we? It’s dawn,” Jack said. He began to put his hoodie on, your eyes softening with disappointment. Jack could feel his stomach growling, the taste of your blood fueling his desire for a tasty meal. He wanted to stay, but he knew he would kill you if he lost control again. Without thinking he handed you his hoodie, before heading over to the window. You sat there dumbfounded, watching as he gave you a small wave goodbye.
“Don’t worry, i’ll be back,”
3K notes · View notes
tbaluver · 3 months ago
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Can you do the boys with a mentally unwell reader? Like she has depression, ocd, or anxiety that she takes medication for?
S/O Who Faces Mental Illness- The Love And DeepSpace Men
parings in order: Xavier x Reader, Zayne x Reader, Rafayel x Reader, Sylus x Reader tags: ( for all ) mentioning of depression/ depressive episodes, ocd rituals, anxiety/ social anxiety a/n: hi anonnie ! ♡⸜(˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝ sorry this took awhile, this was sitting in my drafts and i would keep coming back to it. i just wanted to make sure this topic is handled with care. i know that everyone has different types of depression, anxiety, and ocd so i wrote the ones that i'm familar with and gone through. i hope this was okay lmk ! ̤̮
⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆
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Xavier:
Xavier has always been such an attentive lover to you and he’s grown increasingly worried as he observed your unhealthy habits. He notices how you spend more time in bed than usual, longer than he would stay in bed. How you seem disinterested in eating, even if it were foods you typically enjoyed. Noticing how these impacts have affected you, he has made the effort to educate himself better on what you’re going through to understand and support you better.
If you were taking any medications, he'll read the entire packet that came with it or look up as much information he can online. He'll try to remember all the side effects that comes with it and makes sure to check up on you whenever you take them.
He notices when your energy plummets so it’s his duty to take care of you. He tries to make everything easy for you. He’ll make sure to tuck both of you in bed, turning off the lights when you both get ready, making sure to have food delivered when you wake up. Xavier encourages you to take a walk outside with him, helping you get some fresh air and encouraging you to step out of bed. He’ll hold your hand the entire time.
Distractions were one of the ways he could get your mind off any anxious thoughts or from any of your OCD rituals. He'll have a list of your favorite things to do and see if it helps. He'll stay with you in bed all day if that's what you need and wouldn't let you isolate yourself. Will also build a fort to cuddle you up in and have you tucked in his arms.
Anytime you two were out and you started to feel drained, then he'll take you back home. You two can stay in and cuddle.
He never pushes you beyond your comfort levels. If there was any situation where you started to feel uncomfortable, then he'll lead the situation and you somewhere else that sets you more at ease.
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Zayne:
Zayne is no stranger to the topics of mental illness. He’s gone through extensive studies and many clinical experiences with patients. But with you, it's different. Your struggles aren’t just a clinical case to him, they’re personal. He’s acutely attuned to subtle changes of your mood and actions. He notices the quiet shifts in your expressions, or the way your eyes dull and lose their sparkle. Even though it’s hard to read through his expressions, it truly does hurt him to see you suffer. Your internal pain that you battle inside hurts him more than words can convey.
If you were to go through a depressive episode and you feel like you can’t do everything you need, then Zayne has no problem doing the extra housework or helping you with your physical health. He would reassure you to not feel guilty even though he’s busy with his work or any paperwork's. You have done so much as a loving partner to him and he will always return the favor for you.
He’ll help you shower and dress you up. He'll make sure to brush your hair gently and that you brush your teeth. He’ll even make sure you eat enough and he’ll praise you for taking every bites.
He’s always there for you. Even if he was in the middle of work, he would remind you to never hesitate to reach out whenever you feel isolated or just needed to vent, anything. Spam him, leave voice messages- he’ll read every word and listen to each message and reply with care. No matter how busy he might be, he’ll find a way to call you as soon as he can. He wants to make sure you’re okay and to remind you that you’re never alone, even when he’s away. Your well-being matters so deeply to him that he’s committed to be there for you in every possible way.
He'll keep note of all the side effects you've experienced with your medications, so he's aware of the potential issues that might arise when you take them. Will send you texts reminding you to take your meds at the right time and to make sure you eat before you take them so you don’t get nauseous.
He’s a very attentive and caring partner, he pays close attention to the triggers of your OCD and observes the coping mechanisms you have. He notices your struggle with hand washing compulsions and understands how these rituals can take a toll on you. He’ll try to help you by pointing out that excessive hand washing can actually be harmful, as it washes away the beneficial ones that your body needs.
He'll be very reassuring when you feel the need to constantly check up on things. He won't judge you for it but instead he'll offer to check on it himself and reassure you that everything is okay.
It wouldn’t be new to him to avoid places that were crowded or super noisy. He would know where all the less crowded and quiet places are. At this point, he already had taken the time to understand your triggers and sources of anxiety. He just wanted to be well-informed so he can help you avoid these situations and provide the support and care you need.
If you were to experience an anxiety attack, he remains calm and patient and helps you try to breathe. Whenever you need to vent, he’s always there for you. He’ll let you curl up on his lap while you talk, gently stroking your hair. Although he’s quiet while you talk, you know he listens to every detail and he doesn’t want to interrupt you. After you finish sharing, he’ll offer advice or discuss the situation to help you work through it together.
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Rafayel:
He knows that you were going through significant struggles because it often kept you doing certain things with him. There are times when the weight of your depression and anxiety feels so heavy that it drains your motivation, making your favorite hobbies or simply just doing anything seem out of reach. Sometimes the intensity of your OCD leads you to stay up, unable to rest because you repeatedly check things like the light switches, doors, windows, and everything else in the house.
OCD is a topic that Rafayel wouldn’t tease or be playful on with you. He notices the small things when you repeat patterns or prefer certain number sets. He’s very patient and understanding about this topic but anytime you feel as if your ocd ritual was messed up, he is quick to run to your side and reassure you that everything will be okay.
Rafayel has been in a dark place himself so he knows the signs when you’re struggling. Whether you’ve been through this over and over again, he’ll help you through this every single time. If you don't have the energy to take a shower or a bath, then he’ll simply carry you and wash you himself. He’ll join you and use your favorite bath bomb scents and make it a little fun by blowing bubbles at you. A smile would curl up on his lips when he sees you smiling again.
He wouldn’t force you to talk. He’ll do most of the talking and hopefully it takes your mind off anything you were anxious about. When you are ready to talk, he’ll praise you. It’s a big step forward in healing and he would be listening attentively to everything you say.
Rafayel would text you throughout the day and ask how you were feeling. He's always there at your beck and call. If you need anything, he already has it and he's on his way to you.
If you were out in public and you started to feel uneasy, he would lead you somewhere else. Rafayel would always be holding your hand for security and to make sure you were always right by his side. He doesn't mind wherever you both go, as long as he's with you. He makes sure that you two can go to places that aren't crowded or noisy but still enjoyable and fun for the both of you.
He’s very worried whenever you take medications. He knows that they can have some mean and nasty side effects and that’s the last thing he would want you to go through. He’ll always make sure to check up on you a couple hours later to see how you’re holding up.
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Sylus:
It does not take him long to notice you were acting off. Nothing can get past this man and he doesn’t want you to feel like you have anything to hide from him. No matter what the issue is, he isn’t leaving your side and you’ll both work on the issue together. He doesn’t want you to go through anything alone.
When you feel empty and you simply want to sink into your bed and lay there motionless because everything in the world was just too much, Sylus will not hesitate to take action. He’ll make sure you're eating nutritious meals by calling his private chefs or he’ll make them himself. He’ll sit right beside you and watch you take enough bites or he’ll spoon feed it to you himself. Sylus would make sure to tell you that you were doing so well even if the bites were big or small. After you are done eating, he’ll make sure that you take all your meds and check up on you if any of the side effects arise.
He’ll be right by your side at any doctor's appointments. He’ll carry you to the bathroom himself or he’ll use his evol to help wash, dry, and dress you up. Sylus would encourage you as well to go on walks with him so your body is still moving and so you can get some fresh air. He does all of this because he loves you and he doesn’t want you to lose any of the progress you made. He knows your capabilities and he knows you will get through this. He’ll be right by your side the entire time.
When he notices that your OCD rituals are becoming overwhelming, he doesn't hesitate to step in to help. He finds engaging activities for the both of you to do so it steers your focus away from the obsessive thoughts. Understanding how OCD can distort your perceptions, he uses distractions as a way to gently pull you out of that obsessive cycle.
Sylus would let you know that he’s accessible. Whenever you need him, feel free to call him any time and he’ll drop anything and come by to help you.
Don't even bother brushing off any of your issues. Anything that bothers you, he's always there to listen and help you. He’s a great listener and he never judges you for any problems you had and the reason behind your behavior. His shoulder is for you to lean on, cry on, laugh on, and hold on, etc. He’s understanding and wants you to be happy again.
When he’s away, he will have food delivered to you. He’ll make sure you eat and that you take your meds right after by calling or texting to remind you. Or he’ll just send Mephisto to you. He’ll caw/squawk repeatedly until you finish your meals.
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hoshigray · 2 years ago
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Pleasurable Practice
Here's what I got: when you're left in headquarters to study for an upcoming language skit, your boss and work crush, Miguel O'Hara, does what he can to help his subordinate. And he does, in more ways than one...
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A/n: It's been a week since I saw the film in theaters, and my brain hasn't been the same. I tried very hard not to write for this man, but here we are. Sighhhh, I swear I wasn't this bad when playing EoT (curse you Oscar Issac, and the ATSV art department!!!). And it doesn't help that my social feeds are full of him...Anyway, I hope you enjoy this piece! It's WAY longer than I wanted, but I guess that's meant to show how much fun I had writing, hehehe~. Also, ty so so much for 600+ followers!!
Cw: Miguel x fem!reader - some ATSV spoilers so tread carefully - sexual context so minors DNI - fingering (fem! receiving) - cunnilingus - clitoral play (Miguel's fangs lightly brush your clit, but doesn't bite it) - praise - kisses on the stomach - pet names (amorcito/little love, mi alma/my soul; amor/my love; vida/my life) - sexual acts in public - outside intrusions, but you two don't get caught.
Wc: 2.8k
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"Hey, Lyla. You sure you wanna leave me here?"
"Aww, you scared something would happen without me?" She chuckles when you shrug. "You'll be fine; everything's been taken care of for today. If something pops outta nowhere, you know where to find Miguel or give me a call. Alright, I'm outta here. Cya tomorrow~."
"Bye, Lyla~" With that, the pixelated woman signs off from your line of sight, and you slump into your chair with a sigh.
It's late at night in Nueva York. The Spider Society headquarters is still active, but fewer people occupy the halls and sectors in these late hours, you being one of them. You're sitting at a conference table by the teleportation room, taking in Margo's shift. But since things are quiet around here, you use this time to work on your homework.
Well, you would've if a pair of hands didn't suddenly come from behind and blocked your vision. "Guess who?"
You shake your head with a smile. "Aren't you supposed to be at Earth-50101 hanging with Gwen and Pav?"
The hands are removed, giving your shoulders a quick rub. "Can't say a quick bye before I'm off?" Hobie Brown walks from behind to sit on the table, avoiding the scattered papers on the surface. "What's all this? School?"
"Yeah," You pick up a paper with color-coordinated dialogues. " I got a reflection to finish and need to read this script for a skit in my modern language class on Wednesday."
"What language?"
"Spanish." You flip the script for him to look at. A giggle slips from you. "Suppose you can't help me, huh?"
Hobie grins. "Yo lo haría si pudiera." Your eyes go big. Of course, the guy who "doesn't believe in consistency" would know a thing or two about other languages.
".....Please stay and help me."
"Can't, perhaps next time." Another heavy sigh as the tall other gets up from the table and opens a portal to Pavitr's universe. "We'll save some snacks to bring back tomorrow. See ya then."
"Bye, Hobie." You groan with your head meeting the table surface as the portal vanishes with Hobie's dismissal. In despair, you lift your head up and proceed with your work.
It's about 11 p.m., and you were able to finish your paper in about two hours. It's now time to work on your Spanish script. Unfortunately, your class partner can't be here (obviously) to say his lines with you, but you two promised to highlight your lines and recite on your own downtime. So you follow through with the blue lines — your lines — avoiding the red lines and announcing all the words to the best you can.
After the third time around, you start to get to the rhythm of it. So in tune with what you're doing, you don't mind your surroundings as you circle around the table with your face glued to your script.
"What're you doing?"
However, it all comes to a halt when a voice startles you. So used to the silence and your own tone that you didn't notice a familiar man creep from behind you. Your eyes widen at the tall and well-built figure before you.
Miguel O'Hara, Spider-Man 2099 and the leader of the Spider Society — your boss who you have a major crush on and is still waiting for you to reply after nearly scaring you to death.
"O-Oh, Miguel, umm," you quickly straighten yourself up, but the heat in your face encroaches. "Sorry, didn't see ya there. I was just looking at this script."
"A script?" He slightly tilts his head, surveying your moves as you sit back at the table. He follows and peers behind your shoulder to see what you're working on. "For what?"
"It's for a skit in my Spanish class. I'm reciting my lines for Wednesday." He nods at your answer, glancing around to see you're alone. "Lyla signed off for a while, but she told me to tell you that if you 'need anyone to put a leash on you,' Jessica would answer the call."
The man narrowed his eyes and sucked his teeth, "of course she said that..." was all he murmured under his breath from his pixelated peer's words. With a heavy sigh, he turns back to the paper in your hand and extends out his. His silent request is answered when you pass him the sheet to skim. A brow is lifted. "Is the skit like some kind of married couple or—"
You confirm. "Yes. Our unit is on relationships, and my partner and I wanted to do a skit where the husband — my partner — comes home and surprises his wife with their favorite flower and then gives a nice speech on how much he loves her." Miguel still reads the script, but you continue on. "Luckily, our instructor said it's not our final where it's required to talk entirely in Spanish. So, we can say some English phrases or words if our brains go blank."
Miguel finally stops examining the script and eyes at you. "I can help."
Huh? "Excuse me?"
"You're the blue lines, right?" Correct. "Then I can be the red lines and help you practice."
Wait, no! "Oh no, there's no need for that, Miguel! I'm sure you're busy looking at the screens on your station and—"
"No pasa nada, Y/n," You gulp when he grabs a chair and sits close to you. "I'll say your partner's parts, and you reply with yours." There's no use in arguing with him out of this, so you just follow suit.
For the past thirty minutes, you and Miguel have been practicing. Sometimes he'll call you out on words you forget or mispronounce, which hurts your little heart being scolded like a child. But then there are times when he praises you for saying something correctly without second-guessing, or he'll ask for a pen to scratch off something and write a better phrase for you to say. And you can tell that your memorization's been improving thanks to his help. Maybe there was no need to be nervous.
The time is now 11:46, and you feel way more confident about this skit than before. Miguel can also tell by how much you've performed that you'll do fine on Wednesday. Guess that should do it. He puts the script down and gets up, heading back to his original post.
"Hey, wanna do the actual skit with me?"
Huh? "What?"
"Well, I was thinking," You squeak. "Maybe we can try acting out the skit without the paper now that I'm kinda getting the hang of it? But, I mean, that's only if you're okay with it, ya know..."
His brows trench down. Miguel knows he shouldn't do it; there are many universes in his post that he needs to keep an eye on in case anything pops off. He can't afford to just act out a scenario for some class. However, when he glances back at you, he faces mixed feelings. Your eyes look at his, nibbling on your bottom lip, and your fingers fidget with each other as you wait for his answer.
Miguel knows he shouldn't...but it won't hurt to comply this one time.
"Fine," your heart skips when he turns back to face you fully. "But don't mention it to Lyla or Jess. I'll never hear the end of it from those two."
"Of course!" You reassure him as you ready yourself, mentally calming the happiness brewing inside down. "You go."
He nods and plays the scene. He acts like he opens a door and holds an imaginary object. "Estoy en casa, cariño."
"Oh, bienvenido a casa, bebé!" You rush to Miguel and give him a hug. You feel him go rigid, and you freeze. Wait, he's still my boss and not my actual partner! Oh, God, I bet he regrets doing this now...Ughhh!! Commit now, cry later!
You quickly improvise and pull him by his spider suit to come close, placing pretend kisses on his cheeks. "Llegas pronto a casa, mi guapo muñeco. Is something wrong?"
Miguel stares at you for a few seconds before he blinks and coughs. "Ahem, Querida, vine temprano porque es tu cumpleaños. Y quería darte esto." The hand with the invisible object comes up, and you take it.
"Dios mío, ¿mi flor favorita en mi día especial?" You give the man a warm smile and place a hand on his cheek, stroking his skin lovingly. Miguel hitches his breath. "Eres demasiado buena conmigo, muñeco. Pero no tenías que regalarme nada."
It takes Miguel a moment, but he coughs once more and returns to the task. "Puede que la flor no fuera necesaria, pero tenía que conseguirla para ti, mi amor." He puts a hand on yours that's still on his cheek, now it's your turn to slow your breathing. "Cada vez que veo esta flor, sólo puedo pensar en ti. No sólo hoy, sino todos los días. Veo todo lo que haces por mí y nunca lo doy por sentado. You are my everything, Y/n. Tú eres mi mundo. Mi luz. Mi corazón. Mi… Mi…"
He stops, noticing your expression and shallow breaths. Your eyes never leave his, mouth agape, and your attention entirely on his words— no, on him. Even in this little act, you dare not move or say something out of turn. Listening to the man before you intently, your hand still in his.
He knows he shouldn't, but Miguel leans into you, and a small gasp leaves you before his lips press onto your soft ones. "....Mi alma."
Your brain short-circuits, the feel of his lips overtaking you. You awkwardly kiss him back, resulting in a moan from Miguel. He grabs your waist while pushing himself forward, making you walk backwards until you hit the table. The bump has you two break the kiss, forcing you back to reality.
Miguel says nothing, and so do you, your eyes honing in on his deep red orbs. Your thoughts go too fast that your head pounds. What? What was that? Did he mean to do that??
"Túmbate."
He captures your attention. "What?"
"Lie down, mi amor." He commands in a stern voice. Hesitance restrains you, yet you still follow orders and sit on the table with your back to the surface. A small smile creeps up on Miguel, and he leans down to plant more kisses on your sweet lips. "Good. Now, say your part."
Slow smooches from your chin to your neck leave you breathless. Although the heat in your face is unbearable, you play along and stick to the script. "My wonderful husband...Y...You are so thought—"
"Se supone que está en español, Y/n." He corrects you. Lifting your shirt to reveal your abdomen. Miguel kisses your exposed tummy while his hand snakes past your bottoms, pressing a finger down on the wet spot of your clothed vulva. Your toes curl as your first moan leaves puffy lips. "Try again."
You intake a deep breath. "Ere...Eres muy considerado con—Mmmm....conmigo." Your bottoms and undergarments are now off, your bare cunt out for Miguel to see. The older man props your legs upward with both hands as he brings his face close to your pussy. He lightly blows on it, and you bite your lip from the cold air. "Keep going, mi vida."
"Cuando....no haya luz en mi—Oooh!!" Miguel flicks your clitoris with his tongue before nestling it between your soaked folds, sucking and laving your essence. "Nnnmp! Mi-Miguel, I can't do thisss...Your tongue, it feels so, so—Oh Christ..."
His ruby eyes peek at your face. "But you were doing just fine, Y/n." The way he says your name feels so sinful, so forbidden. But so pleasing to the ears. "Repeat it."
His tongue goes back to torment your slit. The risque noises the wet muscle makes with your slick-covered chasm ring your eardrums. Ecstatic whimpers fill the space around you, and you grab tufts of Miguel's brown hair when his tongue flicks your clit again. He's impatient, so you concede.
"Cuando no haya luz en mi vida....Haaaahhh, sé que estarás ahí para protegerme." Miguel pushes your tender bud against his teeth. His canine brushing on your pearl, causing you to jerk. "Eres mi sombra...Mi—Ahhhh!....escudo....Mi rey."
He chortles, "Good job, mi alma."
Satisfied with your cooperation, the man sucks on your precious sex as his forefinger nestles between your folds, your slick providing lubricant to naturally push his digit through your entrance. You jolt with a sharp cry, tears falling from your beautiful face.
His tongue and fingers go faster, and your release climbs higher with every lick. The stimulation of your poor cunt and clitoris is hardcore that you come in a few seconds, the walls of your chasm fluttering around Miguel's fingers coated with your personal fluids.
Your heavy pants slow down to steady your body that subsides from the aftershocks of your orgasm. Miguel withdraws his mouth and fingers from you, standing upright to take in your figure.
He scoffs with a tiny grin, licking his lips. "Amorcito."
You open your mouth to say something, but a flash of colors and shapes captures the attention of both of you. Your eyes go wide. Oh no, someone's coming!
With haste, you immediately grab for your bottoms and underwear before taking cover under the conference table, using it to quickly put your clothes back on before someone enters through the portal. That someone was Jessica Drew, making her arrival known by revving her motorbike.
"Jess," Miguel puts on his usually serious face. But on the inside, he's almost as nervous as you. Because he swiftly pulls a chair out to cover his erection lower regions.
"Hey, Miguel! I thought I'd find you here." The woman addresses him when she's done a lap around the table. Her portal vanishes from the scene. "I've been trying to call you through your watch. You not wearing it?"
He looks down at his wrist where it was supposed to be. "...I was using the restroom, so I left it on my station."
"Mmm, I figured." Jessica then notices the paper and backpack on the table. "This is Y/n's stuff, right? Where are they?"
"R-Right here, Jess!" To her surprise, you come out from the table with your bottoms fully secured. "Sorry, I was looking for my pen before packing up." You smile to ease the awkward tension and your racing heart.
"Oh, okay then." Jessica nods to your words and turns to Miguel. "Anyway, I was calling you up because I need backup. The guy I was dealing with somehow switched places with another villain. Took care of the other one, but my guy's elsewhere."
He hums. "Lyla."
"That's me." The yellow-pixelated woman with pink heart-shaped glasses appears once more.
"Where are the coordinates of the anomaly Jess was handling?"
"I'm sorry, you want me to do what?"
"...."
"What's the magic word?" The tiny woman teases him while you and Jessica hold in your laughs.
Miguel's brows furrow with a slight pout. "....Canyoupleasesend—"
"Woah, woah, woah," Lyla gets closer to his face with each word, raising his irritation as she does so. "Little too fast there."
"Can you please give us the co—"
"Already gave it to Jess."
"Then what was the point—"
"You know how much I love to pester ya," her smile doesn't help squander his frustration, not when he also hears the exchanged giggles between you and Jessica. "And call that payback for not having your watch on you."
To avoid their eyes seeing Miguel's situation, he leaves and fetches his watch quickly after being repeatedly teased by the two women. He returns ready with his mask on and the device on his wrist. Lyla and Jess are waiting for him, same with you and all your stuff packed up. It's 12 in the morning now, you have to get home. "Ready?"
"Yup, see ya there." The woman on her bike starts it up. Lyla disappears when the dimension is opened. "Bye, Y/n!"
"Bye, Jess!" You wave goodbye to the woman, who does one final lap before entering the portal to her new destination. And now you're back to being alone with Miguel, who you find looking at you. You gulp and say your thoughts. "Don't worry, I didn't tell them! And, sorry that it happened. I was being a little too close to you in the first—"
"Hey." Miguel lifts a hand to stop you from rambling on further, and you listen. "Your skit. When is it again?"
It takes you aback that he asks, but you still reply. "Wednesday?"
"Hm. Alright then." And with that, he walks to the portal to his next mission. But before he exits, he peers from his shoulder and proclaims something.
"Tell me how you did on Wednesday, then we'll continue with this talk."
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sixosix · 1 year ago
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STAY, TOO | AETHER
desc you were afraid that aether would break your heart, but that all flew out the window the moment he got sick and demanded only you take care of him
notes wc 2.8k, FLUFF FLUFF bit of angst with reader’s mindset but happy ending i swear on my asia server genshin acc + this draft had been in my docs since 10/15/2023. its a miracle that i decided to pick up on it again and actually finish it !!!!!!! enjoy fellow aether kissers
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Evenings were always eerily silent; because of that, your thoughts were loud. Not in the way that screamed—no, it was much worse. It was his voice that whispered, that made you shiver and reach out for something that never existed. 
You didn’t know if you were dreaming or if you were awake and letting your mind wander away to a familiar face. Your mind always ended up back to him, no matter how much you tried to stray away. No matter who you talked to, he haunted you. Who you kissed, his face flashed in your mind. You wanted to curse his name out—it was his fault you were like this. It was his fault for deciding to come into this world and rid yourself of your defenses, left helpless to his whims.
“Um, Y/N?” A hand moved to your shoulder.
You jumped out of your seat, heart racing as his grinning face dissipated from your mind. You turned and breathed a sigh of relief. “What are you doing here, Sucrose?”
“It’s past midnight,” Sucrose murmured, her expression nervous, but apparently, she was too worried to leave you be. “I saw light from your window and thought you fell asleep…”
You didn’t even know if you were—everything before felt like a distant blur. Your eyes darted back to your desk, and then your face paled at the sight of a grinning face staring back at you. How long had you been mindlessly doodling Aether’s face? You quickly snatched them away from Sucrose’s view.
“I—I’m fine. Sorry, I did fall asleep.”
Sucrose’s bottom lip jutted out. “This has been happening for too long now. You’re not fine.”
What were you supposed to say to that? You were so hopelessly infatuated with someone who was ruining your life and possibly your job with Mr. Albedo. That would be a fast way to get yourself fired.
Sucrose sat on the chair beside you, her expression determined. “We’re friends, aren’t we? Can you at least tell me what’s going on?”
“It’s nothing that serious, Sucrose,” you stammered. Hopefully, the candles were dim enough to hide how flustered you were. It was more embarrassing than serious, really.
“Is it the Traveler?” She knew how to strike hard for someone with such an innocent face.
When had it not been the Traveler, honestly?
“Ugh…” That was a yes for her, apparently.
Sucrose smiled in relief. Her eyes darted around your face, studying you. “What’s wrong? Was he affecting you that much?”
“Yes. Disturbingly so. Like, seriously, it’s disturbing me.”
Sucrose’s eyes sparkled with wonder. “How?”
“It feels like swallowing a crystalfly whole and feeling it flutter around my stomach whenever I even think of him.”
Sucrose’s face turned serious. “What have you been doing to the crystalfies we’ve been collecting?”
“Never mind,” you muttered. “I’m fine, Sucrose. I promise, okay?”
You weren’t. Sucrose must’ve thought the same, too, because Lisa barged into your office the next day.
“What else are you expecting? For him to notice your wallowing and say something about it?”
Lisa’s sweet, melodious voice sounded torturous now when she was poking at all the things you were desperately trying to keep hidden. You sink against your seat, feeling a lot like a scolded kid, caught red-handed skipping chores—skipping responsibilities, hoping to stay oblivious for a bit longer.
“He already said something,” you grumbled, finding it difficult to meet the mage’s sharp eyes.
For someone who sounded as gentle as a mother to her only child, Lisa’s disappointment made you feel a lot more shameful than if she were to chide you in the middle of Mondstadt’s streets.
“A week after we met. He told me he likes me,” you continued.
Lisa’s jaw dropped, a funny expression you’ve never seen on her before. “A week after you met? Let me get this right—”
You groaned, “Lisa, trust me, I know—”
“—Our dear Traveler confessed to you ages ago. When was it when Aether helped us with Stormterror? He’s in Fontaine now!” Lisa looked a little frazzled, her eyes wild. You were expecting her to chide you some more until you saw how her entire expression was sparkling. This felt foreboding, somehow. “He keeps visiting to see you! After all these years of you foolishly rejecting him—”
“I didn’t reject him!”
Lisa hummed thoughtfully. “Oh, but isn’t that exactly what you’re doing?”
You were not rejecting Aether. You didn’t outright tell him you’re not interested because you are. He had been haunting your thoughts since you first laid eyes on him, returning from battle, cold breath billowing from his mouth, a pixie by his side, his hair aglow gold, Festering Desire in hand—and, oh, you desired him. It reached a point where Albedo himself had to ask if you wanted a check-up from how much you were burning with want.
Aether had grinned at you so brightly, and you damn near melted on the spot, even in the unrelentingly bitter weather of Dragonspine.
You found yourself liking him for more than his quite literally alien nature, his out-of-this-world body, and his abilities that had your hands itching to reach for a pen and paper to write down everything about him and figure out what the hell he was. Instead, you started falling for him as just Aether. His boyish smile, his witty jabs, his glimpses of personality.
And then he confessed to you—you, no one but one of Albedo’s assistants—and said he likes you, and you just couldn’t bring yourself to say anything at the time. You thought of him leaving one day, and then you just couldn’t say the yes that was chanting in your brain.
To no one’s surprise, he did leave. Not to that extent yet, but away from Mondsadt. Even in Liyue, Inazuma, Sumeru, and Fontaine, he invaded your thoughts as if cursing you for not saying what you were thinking. You could only wish he thought of you just as much as you did to him. Maybe he’d end up hating you, and not loving him would be easier.
“Are you kidding?” If it were so easy, you would’ve already jumped in his arms and kissed him breathlessly. “He’s—he’s not like us. He doesn’t belong here. He’d leave, eventually. Just like he always does with the other worlds.”
“Is that what’s stopping you?”
“That’s reason enough to be stopping me,” you said sharply. “He’s got millions of worlds to flirt with as he pleases, and this is my only one. Who knows if Aether is the type to even visit?”
Lisa crossed her arms. “Maybe you should ask. Communication is key.”
“Even if that was the case, I can’t handle it. I already miss him enough while he’s still in Teyvat—I don’t know how I could live with myself if I let him into my heart, and he’s a world away.”
“You’ve already let him in your heart,” Lisa said softly. “Just talk to him, alright? I’m not the only one worried about you when you drive yourself to a corner like this—especially over a boy!”
“I’m perfectly alright,” you said, ignoring Lisa’s amused smile. “I’m not losing my mind. Especially over a boy.”
You definitely were losing your mind. That boy was Aether; how could you not?
“I think it’s adorable,” Lisa cooed, cupping her cheeks and sighing dreamily. “He’s still waiting patiently. Who knew the Traveler would be so willing to wait for love?”
You wished that it wasn’t like that.
“Y/N! Are you here?”
Crap. Did you fall asleep in your office again? Might as well stop paying rent if this was going to be a recurring thing.
Once again, by routine at this point, you threw your notes that had Aether’s face inked by the edges. Memory be damned, You couldn’t let anyone see how detailed your drawings of Aether are.
“Y/N?” The voice rang out again, and it sounded more familiar now.
You went to open the door and frowned. “Lisa? It’s so early—did something happen?”
Lisa smiled in greeting, so beautifully devious with what she was about to say: “Our Honorary Knight is back in town!”
“Did you come all the way here just to tell me that?” Were people just seeing you as one of Aether’s admirers?
“Of course not,” Lisa chuckled, patting your head. How did she look so good this early in the morning? “He’s sick and needs someone to look after him.”
You wanted to close the door. You wanted to crawl back to your desk and go to sleep, but she had that look in her eye—one that told you that you had something to do with where she was going. And you did not like where this was going.
“So?” Dammit. You really wanted to see Aether again.
“Why, who else better to take care than his dearest alchemist?”
“Albedo is everyone’s alchemist. Sucrose is everyone’s dearest alchemist.”
Lisa shushed you. Why was she so invested in this? “No, no, his. Not everyone’s.”
You felt your face burn at the thought of being his dearest alchemist. Or anything his. “Absolutely not! Wasn’t he in Fontaine just yesterday?”
“Why don’t you go ask him that yourself?”
You scowled. You weren’t agreeable in the mornings. “How did you even know about this?”
Lisa smirked, poking your nose. “Because he asked for you, specifically.”
You laughed dryly—good one.
“I won’t let you do anything you wouldn’t want,” Lisa said seriously, “but would you change your mind if I told you that it’s Aether that wants you?”
And so you ended up in Aether’s teapot, which was hanging around Jean’s office for safety. Jean only smiled knowingly when you knocked on the door and zipped straight to the teapot. You were only doing this on the off-chance that Lisa was telling the truth and that Aether demanded he didn’t want anyone else but you checking up on him.
His teapot was familiar. You had been here a few times, but you didn’t have your own room. That was too embarrassing to ask, no matter how much Aether suggested it.
“Y/N!” Aether lit up the moment you entered the room.
“Aether,” you greeted, and as much as you wanted to hide it, a smile bloomed on your lips. It was hard not to smile when Aether was looking at you like that.
He looked like a mess, with strands of hair spread all over his pillows. His blanket was only up to his hips, showing that he was out of his usual look, and wore a simple white shirt. You were grateful for that shirt; you didn’t want to end up helping Aether strip because he definitely would have suggested that.
“I’m sick,” Aether whined. “Tend to me.”
You would’ve doubted his fever, but it was worryingly hot when you reached out to check his forehead’s temperature.
Immediately, your suspicions fly out the window. Aether was burning, and you were the only one in the same room (teapot?) who should take care of him. The Honorary Knight was reduced to a fever.
You cupped his cheek and watched as Aether pressed his face closer. “Does your head hurt?”
“Yes.”
You tore your hand off. “I’ll make something to ease the pain.”
“You can ease it right now. By kissing it away.”
“Aether,” you sighed. Unbelievable. How did he still have enough energy for this while positively rotting on his bed? “Take this seriously. I haven’t seen you this sick— Actually, this is the first time I’ve ever seen you sick. How did this even happen?”
“Stayed too long underwater,” he said.
Aether? Getting sick from swimming? You made a face, which Aether laughed softly at.
“No, seriously. It was an emergency commission. Even when I had to resurface, it was pouring. Someone was making the Hydro Dragon cry hard yesterday.” Aether’s face scrunched as he looked up at you with round eyes. “I was so cold.”
Although it sounded absurd that Aether would get a fever from that, you suppose that having to stay drenched for a long time would affect even someone like him. You couldn’t even imagine having to shiver your way back to Mondstadt after being thoroughly drenched the whole day.
You pulled the blanket further up Aether’s chest. Even if you suspected he was lying, he was trembling underneath the covers.
“Alright.” You’ll believe him because right now, it is a fact that Aether is undoubtedly sick.
You were well aware that he was and sounded like he was dying, but he looked cute, flushed, and staring at you expectantly. It felt nice to be needed by someone like him—made him feel less like a faraway dream.
You cleared your throat and looked away; you knew you looked flustered. “Have you eaten yet?”
“Why? Will you cook for me?” he asked.
You knew how to cook, but for someone who had traveled regions and tasted all kinds of foods, you would probably disappoint. Still, it wasn’t time for a competition with other chefs in Liyue or Fontaine. Aether needed food to fill his stomach.
“Any suggestions?” You hoped for nothing unfamiliar and crazy. You loved Aether, but having to fetch ingredients from oceans away was too much.
“Make it with love,” Aether said cheekily because he was a bastard who didn’t have any mercy on your heart.
And so you left the room and ignored Aether, laughing and coughing as he called after you. You had to leave either way—your chest was almost as warm as Aether’s forehead.
You decided to make a Radish Veggie Soup. You hoped Aether wasn’t too picky about his vegetables. The water was comfortably cold, enough to make you search around his cupboards for towels to soak it into. As you waited for the water to boil, you decided to check up on Aether again.
He was still lying there, but with his eyes closed now. You felt terrible seeing someone you witnessed defeat dragons battling a fever. You drew closer and placed the towel on his head. He didn’t flinch at the stark change of temperature, but he did react instantly, his warm hand clasping your wrist.
“Stay,” Aether rasped.
You bit your lip, your heart sinking. Was he dreaming about his sister? You always worried when he was feeling down because of their separation.
But then his eyes opened, and he stared right at you. “Y/N,” he said, “please stay.”
“I can’t.”
“Just this once.” Aether’s voice sounded so quiet, so unsure of himself.
You really couldn’t. You had a Radish Veggie Soup to attend to.
“I’m staying,” Aether said, and you had a feeling he wasn’t talking about the bed. “I’m staying here for you.”
You frowned. “Don’t lie to make me feel better right now. That would hurt more when you have to leave.”
Aether’s face softened impossibly. “I’m not lying. I’m telling you the truth—I’m not leaving Teyvat. Even if I find my sister, I’m staying.”
Seriously? Just like that? “What made you change your mind?”
You couldn’t tell if Aether was blushing or if it was his fever. “How could I leave Teyvat when I see how cute you look taking care of me?”
You threw a pillow to his face.
He swerved away and laughed brightly. “I’m joking! I’m joking—drop that pillow, please. I’m kidding. Well, sort of.”
His face was once again attempted to get assaulted by another pillow. Aether grinned as he blocked it off with an arm.
“For someone so sick, you seem awfully lively,” you said, eyes narrowed in suspicion.
“You breathe life into me; what can I say?”
You groaned. You couldn’t deal with this today—you needed at least three business days to process this and find another reason to reject him. Yet, as you moved to get some fresh air (anything to get Aether’s stupid face out of your view), a hand abruptly reached for your wrist.
Aether’s face was close to yours in a blink of an eye. His breath was hot on your face. “I’m serious,” he said, “so if— if you feel the same way, the least you can do is stay, too.”
“I— You—” You gaped at him. That sounded like it could be a proposal. Who would’ve thought—the Outlander, the Traveler, begging for you to stay?
Aether’s gaze flicked to your lips.
“Don’t kiss me,” you said in warning. “Are you an idiot? You’re sick!”
“That’s fine. I get to take care of you when you do,” Aether said.
Your face paled. “No! I have a job, Aether—”
Aether frowned. “And I have a world to save, but that can wait. We’re busy.”
You pushed his face away, his laugh smothered by your palm. “No, we are not. I’m busy making food for your sorry ass, away from you.”
Aether’s face crumpled. “Do you actually not want to kiss?”
Not when he’s sick and snotty, yeah.
Instead, you leaned in to kiss his forehead to make up for it. It was brief and faint, but Aether looked satisfied, smiling softly when you pulled away. It would do for now.
“I’m staying,” you said. “So long as you do, too. I’ll stay with you.”
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THE SOUP TURNED OUT OKAY STILL. this is just how my mom takes care of me when im sick LOL but the idea of doing it to a sick aether was too good i had to write a fic about it. also i love angst about aether being the traveler aaghgh
thank u sm for reading. as always, lmk what u think and i hope u liked it!! <3
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str4wberrysw4n · 14 days ago
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𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝟑𝐃 𝐎𝐅𝐅 𝐀 𝐏𝐄𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐋!! + 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 𝐓𝐎 𝐃𝐎 𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐃 🧁
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i don't want to give out too much info, but i have a friend who doesn't come to school very often. she's absent for majority of the week or comes late so i barely get to see her. today, she didn't come and she hadn't come the day before. most of the time, i try to text her to see if she'll respond, but today i thought to myself "why am i upset she isn't at school? besides it doesn't matter to me. I would like for her to be here but it's not a big deal if she isn't." so after 2nd period, we meet up at the stairs so we can walk to class. when she's not here, i wait for her just in case she came late or smth. this time, i simply walked upstairs. smth was telling me that my friend would be here somehow, but i ignored it.
imagine my surprise when i sat down, looked to my right, and saw her sitting down in the flesh. just there. i was shocked.
now, ik this might not seem like a manifestation (spoiler alert: I count it as one) unless u knew how i would affirm for her to come to school only to not get results. i consider her one of my best friends and school isn't the same without her. it was frustrating that the results would only come days later, yet the moment i said i didn't care, it came to me. why?
imo, the key was that I didn't put it on a pedestal. I told myself "I would LIKE for her to come, but it's not a BIG DEAL if she doesn't." i used this not only bcuz it happened at the time im writing this, but bcuz it's a perfect example of how taking ur manifestations off a pedestal helps.
imagine being a king/queen. u have literally everything u desire with the snap of ur fingers. u control everyone and everything around u. but then, u want something that u don't have in the 3d. u have it the 4d, but YOU don't see it bcuz ur eyes are only honed in on the physical world. all of a sudden, u put this object of desire,that u ALREADY have, ABOVE u. it's what u need or else u'll practically fall and break into thousands of pieces. doesn't make any sense, right? well that's literally how it is when u put ur manifestation on such a high pedestal.
YOU are the prize. YOU should be the one placed on the pedestal and stay on it. ik it's hard, especially when there's no evidence of the 3d showing u that -- but it's true. that's why when u care so much abt a manifestation, u are quite literally taking urself off and putting something way less important on there. it's hard to accept that, bcuz society has literally told us that some people are better than others. those who feed into money, fame, "above average" beauty, concepts that only exist in the 3d. but the truth is being tied down to thoughts like that will only make things harder for u.
I'm not saying u shouldn't try to manifest concepts that we know from the 3d -- almost everyone is. I would be a hypocrite to say that when im literally trying to manifest clothes rn lol. im saying that u should stop thinking of those concepts as "impossible" or "out of ur league", bcuz unless u say so, YOU are the standard. stuff like that will only drag u down into the illusion of the 3d.
to sum it up, stop putting the 3d on a pedestal and put urself on there!! when ur able to detach and no longer depend on ur manifestation coming through, it helps it pass through ur 4d level of consciousness and materialize into the 3d. someone with everything doesn't cry abt something they ASSUME they don't have. now, u might be asking: "what do i do if i can't get my mind off it?" i know all too well that this task is easier said than done, so i wanted to help!! :3 these r just some general hobbies u can do instead of obsessing over manifestations!!
🎀 drawing or some form of art
🎀 self care day
🎀 baking
🎀 studying
🎀clean ur room
🎀 text/face time ur friends
🎀 window shopping (my fav lol)
🎀 read a book
🎀 indulge in one of ur own personal hobbies
these r just some of the things that i do when i find myself stressed with a manifestation!! as always, this is all imo, and im just trying my best to help!! happy manifesting ╰(✿´⌣`✿)╯♡
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fallstaticexit · 1 month ago
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Prev / Next / Beginning
TW: Conversion "Therapy" Mention / Homophobia
AN: Sorry this one took a while! - longer than I'd like away!. Coming back from a mini vaca and getting back into work and routine is a nightmare, also my delicate sleep schedule is ruineddd. Anywho, we should be back in business now! :) now, DJ play Good Luck, Babe by Chappell Roan!
Transcript under the cut
Geoffrey: Great job, bud! Tree is looking great!
Malcolm: It’s because I’m a decorator like mommy.
Jonathan: Mom, are you leaving? We’re supposed to decorate the tree too.
Nancy: Save a few ornaments for me to put on there, darling. Mommy has to step out for a couple hours.
Geoffrey: Johnny’s right, you know. Decorating it is apart of the deal.
Nancy: Can’t you spare me an hour or two?
Geoffrey: Remember what I said about being there?
Nancy: That’s not fair. I’ve been doing better, haven’t I? I left work early, which I’m hardly ever able to do and we found the tree together. I haven’t seen Vanessa in 16 years, Geoffrey. This is important to me.
Geoffrey: Yeah, well, this is pretty important to them.
Nancy: Please don’t make me feel guilty about this.
Geoffrey: It’s just you and Vanessa, right?
Nancy: [frowns] Yes, of course. I’ll be back, ok?
-
Vanessa: I’m glad you came.
Nancy: I wouldn’t have miss this for the world.
Vanessa: You look so beautiful tonight.
Nancy: [blushes] So do you. You’ve always have.
Vanessa: [smiles] I wasn’t sure on your choice of champagne, so I hope you don’t mind we have mine. I guess it’s one of the many things we’ll have to learn about each other.
Nancy: This is perfect. I’m sure I’ll love anything you like.
Nancy Narrates: [I found myself unable to eat. Instead, I got my fill of her. I studied her, consumed the sight of her with greedy, curious eyes]
Nancy Narrates: [It thrilled and frightened me the way she took me in too, as if she was trying to recall all those precious details that may have gotten lost in time. Seeing all the ways I could have changed and stayed the same]
Nancy Narrates: [One thing was for certain: my heart still raced the moment our fingers found one another, just like when we were girls. It was a delicate and familiar touch that I could feel from inside, and it was almost as if no time had passed at all]
Vanessa: [softly] Nancy, Nancy, Nancy, the woman you’ve become. I’ve thought of you, over time, what kind of woman you grew up to be.
Nancy: Is it what you expected?
Vanessa: Successful? Powerful? Stunning? Yes, I like to think so.
Nancy: I’ve thought of you too.
Vanessa: Yeah?
Nancy: I thought about what you did, after high school. Who you became. If you fell in love. If you thought about me too. Feels good, knowing you did.
Vanessa: I think holding on to the version of you I remembered kept me sane, after all this time. Do you mind if I smoke? Helps my nerves.
Nancy: As long as I can bum one.
Vanessa: Hey, do you remember our first cigarette together?
Nancy: How could I forget?
Vanessa: Share a light with me. For old times’ sake?
Vanessa: So, care to share all those burning questions you said you had for me?
Nancy: Now I feel like I’m being put on the spot.
Vanessa: Oh, come on. Don’t go shy on me now. How’s this? I’ll ask a question, then you, and so on.
Nancy: Alright. Shoot.
Vanessa: Do you still talk in your sleep?
Nancy: I- what!? I did not talk in my sleep!
Vanessa: Oh, yes you did. Full sentences too. You monologued even.
Nancy: Fuck off, I did NOT talk in my sleep! How would you know anyway? You were practically narcoleptic. I’d be up for hours after you fell asleep.
Vanessa: [murmurs] Still talks in her sleep- in denial about it. Ok. Got it. Your turn.
Nancy: I’ll ask a REAL question this time.
Vanessa: [smirks] That was a real question. I came all this way just to know but ok, ask away.
Nancy: Well, speaking of ‘all this way’. Where do you live?
Vanessa: Here and there. I don’t like to sit in one spot for too long; I get restless. Bored. I’ve spent the last 6 months in Tomorang. Beautiful people. Lovely culture. That’s actually where I heard your name mentioned for the first time. You’ve got quite the reputation over there. You’ve been up to no good, I hear.
Nancy: Christ...long story. Please don’t ask. Are you thinking of moving here?
Vanessa: Ah, ah. It’s my turn. Let’s see...ah! Who’s idea was it to make Geoffrey ‘Mr. Landgraab’. That’s probably the funniest shit I’ve ever heard.
Nancy: My parents, of course. They didn’t want to erase the family name and since they no longer have a son to continue their legacy- well. You get it. Speaking of marriage, are you married?
Vanessa: No, I’m not married.
Nancy: Well. Are you...seeing anyone?
Vanessa: [smirks] No.
Nancy: Children?
Vanessa: No children either. Those counts as a question, by the way.
Nancy: Oops. Ok, ok, you can ask two then. It’s only fair.
Vanessa: I guess I’ll ask a ‘real question’ then. Are you happy like this?
Nancy: [pauses] Like...what?
Vanessa: Married. Married to him. Does it make you happy?
Nancy: [shifts] I care for him very much. He’s the father of my children. He’s a good man and he’s good to me. Why are you asking me this-
Vanessa: Do you still like women?
Nancy: Do you?!
Vanessa: You have to answer my question first-
Nancy: Did you get my voicemail? November 2nd, 1993. I called you and I left you a voicemail. Did you hear it?
Vanessa: Nancy-
Nancy: Why didn’t you call me back? What—what happened to you, Vanessa? Where did you go? Where have you been!? Why, after all this time, am I just now seeing you?
Vanessa: It’s not really the easiest thing to talk about, but I know I owe you closure. [exhales] After I was pulled out of school, my father had me admitted. I received treatments to ‘fix’ me. Every time I fucked up and pissed off my father, he’d pack me up and ship me off until I came back normal and obedient.
Vanessa: There were days I thought I couldn’t keep going on like that, but then I heard your voicemail, and it... scared me. It made me angry. It broke my heart, but most importantly, it woke me up. I finally found the strength to escape my father and live my own truth. It cost me everything—my family disowned me. I relinquished my fortune, but in return, I’m free. I’m free, and I can live the life I deserve. I just... I wish I could have called, but life didn’t work out that way.
Nancy: It should have because I did call you, Vanessa.
Vanessa: I know.
Nancy: [weakly] I said that I loved you..
Vanessa: I know, I know...things were different for me back then.
Nancy: Things are different now! I’m married. I’m a mother!
Vanessa: I know, Nancy. I didn’t come here to break up a happy home.
Nancy: Why did you come here?
Vanessa: Can’t a girl miss her best friend?
Vanessa: Listen. I’ve thought a lot about how I would fit into your life if I ever got to see you again, if this was something you would want at all. That time we shared in our youth was the happiest I’ve ever been. I missed that feeling. I’ve missed you. I’m in a place to explore a friendship with you again, if you want it. If not, then I’ll accept that.
Nancy: I do want this. I want you here. I just...I can’t...
Vanessa: I know. It could be simple. Easy. I miss you, Nancy.
Nancy: [sighs] I miss you too. I’ve missed you so much.
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enhalusional · 6 months ago
Text
𝚈𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 (𝙽.𝚁𝙺)
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New school always brings new beginnings. But this wasn't your beginning. It was the end.
Word count: 1.4k
Based on multiple requests.
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Niki knew you were here before he even saw you. It was evident in the way his heart hammered on his chest. Whom would it beat for like this if not for you?
His existence of 19 years wasn't worth anything. He wallowed in keeping away from people. He just hated being around people. His mind was always blank, like an old television static. He felt nothing. No anger, sadness, happiness, nothing.
The you happened. The first ray of light in the pitch blackness that was his life. You had stood there in front of the class, looking around nervously as you introduced yourself.
"Hello. My name is y/n..."
His brain short-circuited. In years, he felt something. He had been so used to feeling empty that he didn't even know what this was. He had stared at your small frame. He found the baby fat on your cheeks cute. Your auburn hair reached your waist in lustrous waves. He had the urge to count small freckles across your cheekbones. And when you looked at him with your green eyes? He knew he wanted you.
Rest under the cut
That was 2 months ago. Now when you entered the class, wearing a cute little floral dress that reached just above your knee, hair tied up in two small half ponytails, he found you more beautiful than he did the previous day, the day before that and so on. You grabbed attention of every other boy in the class. He knows so many of them have a crush on you. But no one dared to approach you.
You might wonder why anytime you striked a conversation with any of them, they'd excuse themselves and run away. You would feel sad. And he would be there for you, to get your mind off of others. And moreover, he knew you only had eyes for him. Why else would you ignore all those people staring at you and plop down beside him?
"Morning, ki~" you sang.
"Morning, baby." He greeted back with a wide smile. "You look pretty."
He just called you baby nowadays. You took it as a term of his childish endearment. Though for him it wasn't one. You were best friends. Fate was working in his favor when you had sat next to him on the first day. You were the first person he had spoken to willingly. And you immediately become friends with him.
"Oh thank you..." you flip your hair.
"Did you sleep well?" He asked you.
"Eh...had to stay up late. Regression sucks." You said.
"I told you to sleep well. Study can be done anytime." He frowned.
When will you start taking care of yourself?
"Really I think I should change my study time. I hate writing exams in my dreams." You huffed.
His dreams were all you. He saw himself sleeping next to you, breathing in your perfume. Your smile right next to his. Sometimes it was cute like this. But sometimes it went much further. You under him, whining for his attention. He would tease you in the start. Until you become impatient. But you'd just look so ethereal to him that he wouldn't be able to stop himself any longer.
Someone called you and you wave at a classmate. You excuse yourself and walk over to the other side of the classroom to talk to another friend of yours. A girl obviously. He only ever allowed girls to speak to you. And that's why it was a surprise when another boy walked over to you and you spoke to him as well.
Niki narrowed his eyes. How could you look so happy speaking to a boy who wasn't him? And that boy...liked you.
For a long time, Niki had wondered and amused about his lack of emotions. So much so that he started to keep a journal about various expressions people make and what they felt at the moment just to get a better understanding of emotions. The result wasn't what he desired, but at least he could read people's eyes like an open book.
And right now, both yours and the boy's eyes were shining. The kind that he had come to associate with liking someone. Niki gripped the pen in his hands. How dare he look at you like that? How dare he make you smile like that? Poor you. That boy was trapping you in his web and you had no idea. When that boy patted your head, Niki lost it.
***************************
All he saw was red.
Red everywhere.
On the walls.
On the floor.
On his hands.
And the boy in front of him, lying in a pool of red.
Niki sat down on the chair in front of the boy. The boy was almost dead. Blood seeped from his clothes from the places where Niki had plunged a knife. Honestly, Niki had lost count of the stabs after a point. The only place left unscathed was the boy's face. Why? Just so Niki could be reminded of the face that had intrigued you so much. And because he had kept it for the last. He got up from the chair and bent down. The boy barely had his eyes open. He pulled out a blade from his pocket and pressed it onto his cheek. The boy's mouth opened in a silent scream.
"You still have a lot of energy even after I cut your tongue off." Niki clicked his tongue.
He slashed a slanting lone across his face. And repeated the same with the other side.
"Now...the best part." He muttered.
The smile he had given you earlier. Niki pressed the blade at the corner of his mouth and tore the side downwards. He did the same on the other side as well. Blood poured out of the boy's face before finally, the light in his eyes went out.
"There. Now smile."
And Niki felt a smile creeping up his own lips.
*************************
A year passed. By now, you were starting to form a crush on your best friend. You thought it was embarrassingly cliché. But you couldn't help it.
It was around the middle of the year when you were going home alone from a supermarket. And two people had followed you. You hadn't even gotten to the point of screaming before they had clamped your mouth shut and dragged you off into a dark alleyway.
But your best friend was there before anything could happen. That was the first time your heart had thumped so wildly in your chest. Watching Niki bring down a glass bottle on your perpetrators' head was too brutal for you. You couldn't recognize your friend at all. And you were scared at first when he approached you.
You had gulped and backed away from him. Until he had forced you into a hug. Without meaning to, you found yourself relaxing against him. And when he wiped your tears while comforting you, for the first time, your heart was thumping for an entirely different reason.
From then on, there was something between you two. You couldn't explain it in words. But it was palpable in the way your hugs had become frequent and longer. His hand holding your head against him and the way you fiddled with the sleeve of his clothes while talking about anything. But the tension just stayed there. Never actually leading to anything.
But what you didn't know was that Niki just didn't want to scare you off. He was just waiting for you to make the first move. His way of showing his love was mainly in the multiple murders he had committed in the past year. His way, was to make sure the screams echoed in the basement as he relished in the thrill of killing for you.
Every boy who had the audacity of making heart eyes towards you, every person who put you in danger or made you cry was gone. Over the time, he had become better at hiding it. He had found a perfect spot where he could bury the bodies without anyone suspecting him.
The missing people in the town were never found and the cases were simply closed. Because who would even check the garden of an elderly couple in their 80s who lived in a secluded house? After all, you were his. And he could and would go to any lengths to make sure you stayed his.
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godsfavdarling · 9 days ago
Text
loving him
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part of him (one-shot series), my masterlist
pairing: spencer reid x gn!reader summary: You find it hard to believe that Spencer will stay words: 1k a/n: I wanted to make it more personal and detailed, but I held back to keep it more universal. I was trying not to make it about me lol (it is about me. everything is about me)
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His eyes keep turning toward you as you sit beside him on a worn park bench.
The day's cold seeps into your bones, but you hardly notice. Not when Spencer’s hand rests close to yours, his fingers twitching as though he wants to hold it but can’t bring himself to do so yet.
You and Spencer have been dating for a few weeks now, and still, it feels like a dream—like something fragile you’ll shatter if you hold it too tightly.
It doesn’t feel real. It couldn’t be.
Any second now, you’re going to wake up to the crushing realization that this—he—was never yours. That you’re not the kind of person these stories happen to.
A part of you has always believed that love wasn’t meant for you. You accepted that truth long ago and made your peace with it, or so you thought.
But then Spencer happened.
Spencer Reid, with his brilliant mind and his gentle hands and his fluffy hair and his habit of looking at you like you’re the most interesting puzzle he’s ever encountered.
For weeks, you’ve been holding your breath, waiting for him to realize that you’re just… you. That there’s nothing extraordinary about you, nothing worth staying for.
You don’t notice the way he keeps studying you, reading the way your gaze flickers down to your lap and your shoulders hunch as though bracing for impact.
To you, he’s a miracle.
To him, you’re a question he doesn’t yet know how to answer.
Finally, he asks, voice soft but firm.
“Do you want this?”
You blink, startled, and look up at him. “Do I want what?”
Spencer shifts slightly, his hands now clasped together between his knees, his knuckles pale from the pressure. “This. Us. I just… sometimes I have a feeling you aren’t sure about it.” He glances away, biting the inside of his cheek before continuing. “I thought this was what you wanted, but maybe I was wrong. And I just… I don’t want to waste your time if this isn’t—”
“Spencer, what?” You interrupt, your voice rising with disbelief. “Why wouldn’t I want this? I love you. You know I love you.”
His eyes dart back to yours. “I love you too.”
You tilt your head, narrowing your eyes slightly.
“What’s that?”
“What?”
“The way you look at me when I tell you I love you. Like you don’t believe me.”
You let out a breathless laugh, but it doesn’t come easily. It’s the kind of laugh that aches in your chest, that feels like it might shatter if pushed too hard. You can feel the sting of tears building behind your eyes, and you hate that he can see you so clearly.
Spencer doesn’t waver. “You don’t believe me,” he repeats quietly.
“I do,” you insist, though the words tremble more than you mean them to.
He tilts his head, brows furrowing. “If you’re not sure, it’s okay—”
“I love you, Spence,” you interrupt, the words tumbling out faster now. “I love you. I just—”
He’s watching you, trying to see through you like he always does, and that’s when you know you can’t hold it back any longer.
“I just can’t quite believe you want this. Me.” You gesture between the two of you, a nervous circle of your finger. “I have nothing to offer. Practically nothing.”
“What are you talking about?” he asks, his voice firm and a little sharper now.
“You’re incredible, Spencer. You’re so smart and kind and caring, and you could have—anyone—”
“Stop,” he tries to cut in, but you keep going, your voice cracking as the tears begin to spill over.
“I suppose I’m... I'm not convinced you’ll stay. Because why would you? And I know this is weird, and I should just be normal and chill the fuck out, but…” Your voice grows quieter, more fragile. “But a part of me keeps waiting for the day you’ll leave. Because I know it’s... inevitable.”
The silence that follows is heavy, the kind of quiet that feels like the world itself has stopped breathing.
You stare at him, your vision blurred with tears, and he stares back, his expression unreadable. For a second—one awful, endless second—you think you’ve ruined it.
But then he speaks, his voice low and steady. “I won’t.”
Your head shakes instinctively, the words spilling out before you can stop them. “You don’t know that.”
He exhales, like he’s holding back everything he wants to say all at once. “You’re right,” he admits softly. “I don’t know what the future holds. But I know this. I know you.”
You swallow hard, blinking against the tears that keep welling up. “It’s not just that I’m scared, Spencer. It’s…” Your voice falters, quieter now, as though confessing this will make it more real. “It’s like I’m waiting. Like I’m always waiting for you to wake up and realize I’m not enough and this is not... what you want. I'm not something you want”
Spencer’s brows pull together, and he shakes his head gently. “That’s not going to happen.”
“You don’t know that,” you say again, your voice breaking at the edges. “People leave, Spencer. They always leave.”
He pauses, letting your words settle in the air. “I’m not people,” he says softly. “I’m me. And I want you.”
Something about the certainty in his voice—steady and patient—makes your chest ache. You want to believe him. But belief doesn’t come easily to someone who’s spent their life bracing for loss.
“You don’t have to believe it right now,” he murmurs. “But I’ll keep telling you until you do.”
You look at him, really look at him—the way his jaw tenses slightly when he’s nervous, the way his hands hover in that space between you like he wants to reach for you but doesn’t want to push. He’s not asking you to change. He’s just here.
“Okay,” you whisper, and for the first time, you let yourself believe—just a little—that maybe he’s right.
You shift slightly closer to him on the bench, the space between you narrowing, and his hand brushes against yours, warm and solid. For a moment, you let yourself lean into it.
Loving him, loving Spencer Reid might be the scariest thing you’ve ever done.
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mya-valentine · 3 months ago
Note
Can I request how the genshin guys Wriothesley, Alhaitham Kaveh, and Diluc help and s/o with mental issues? 👉👈 it could be on the extreme ends too and that is very difficult to deal with.
I've been lurking your blog so far and really enjoy the way you write. It feels analytical and true to the character themselves
Headcannon: Wriothesley, Alhaitham, Kaveh, and Diluc Helping Their S/O With Mental Issues
A/N: Awww, thank you so much. I'm glad you like my work ☺️ I try very hard to make sure it's in character, which can take some time, so sorry if it took longer than you hoped. But, I hope you enjoy this
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Wriothesley
Wriothesley, as the Duke of the Fortress of Meropide, has dealt with countless tough situations and hardened individuals, but when it comes to his S/O, his tough exterior would soften. He may not be the most emotionally expressive, but he would offer his unwavering presence. His approach would be calm and steady, understanding that extreme mental health issues require time and patience.
Wriothesley would be a rock for his S/O, always available to listen, hold them when they feel broken, and remind them that they aren’t facing their struggles alone.
If his S/O were engaging in self-destructive behaviors, Wriothesley would address it firmly, ensuring they seek help. He’d make sure they know he’s serious about their well-being while also ensuring they don’t feel judged.
Understanding the mind-body connection, he might encourage them to engage in physical activities, like training or boxing, to help release some of their emotional pain. He would emphasize physical strength as a tool to channel inner turmoil and feel more in control.
Alhaitham
Alhaitham is highly intellectual, preferring logic over emotion, but that doesn't mean he would be cold or detached. His intelligence would shine through in how he approaches his S/O’s mental health struggles.
Alhaitham would study mental health thoroughly to better understand what his S/O is going through. He’d offer them resources, not in a pushy way, but so they have tools available when they feel ready.
He wouldn’t smother his S/O with affection or pressure them to talk before they’re ready. Alhaitham values autonomy and would give his S/O the space to process their feelings while subtly reminding them that he’s always available.
When his S/O feels overwhelmed by their emotions, Alhaitham would gently steer them towards rationality, helping them break down their thoughts. He would help them find clarity amidst their mental chaos by calmly discussing what’s troubling them and offering practical solutions.
Kaveh
Kaveh, with his emotionally sensitive nature, would be deeply empathetic towards his S/O’s mental health struggles. He’s someone who wears his heart on his sleeve and wouldn’t hesitate to openly express his concern and love.
Kaveh would be incredibly understanding and affirming, constantly reminding his S/O that their feelings are valid, no matter how extreme. He’d be the type to hold them and offer comforting words, reassuring them that it’s okay to not be okay.
Being an artist, Kaveh might encourage his S/O to express their emotions through art, writing, or other creative outlets. He would guide them to channel their mental struggles into something beautiful, helping them process emotions in a therapeutic way.
Although this may not be the healthiest response for Kaveh himself, he would have a tendency to put his S/O’s needs before his own. He would be the type to stay up all night talking them through their feelings, even if it drained him emotionally. Kaveh would feel a deep responsibility to be there for his S/O, no matter what.
Diluc
Diluc, though quiet and reserved, has a deeply caring heart, especially for those he loves. He understands hardship and loss on a personal level, so he would approach his S/O’s mental health struggles with a mix of seriousness and tenderness.
Diluc would want to protect his S/O from their own struggles, even if he can’t fix everything. He’d be highly attentive, observing their emotional state, and would always offer gentle support when he notices them struggling.
Knowing that sometimes words aren’t enough, Diluc might silently offer comfort by being near, inviting his S/O to spend time with him in the quiet of Dawn Winery. He’d ensure they have a peaceful environment where they can heal at their own pace.
Diluc would likely be the one to gently suggest seeking professional help if the mental health struggles became too overwhelming. He wouldn’t push them, but he’d make it clear that their well-being is his top priority and that it’s okay to seek outside support. Diluc would even help arrange therapy or counseling if his S/O needed it, wanting them to have the best care possible.
In all cases, each of these characters would handle extreme mental health difficulties in their own way, but the common thread is their unwavering support, patience, and dedication to helping their S/O through their struggles, no matter how hard things get.
.
.
.
Masterlist
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novaursa · 3 months ago
Note
Idk what yo could do with this but it's been floating around in my head for a while and I love your writing so when I saw requests open I thought I'd send it in.
Plwase could I get Aemond or/and Aegon x reader who is betrothed to one/both but is unable to have children of her own and she thinks that they won't want her because of it (cue bucket loads of angst) but he/they end up proving her wrong and that he/they actually care about or even love her and that they will work things out (cue bucket of fluffy smut)
Shattered, Yet Whole
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- Summary: It was a secret you thought would drive him away, but he stayed. Because he loves you.
- Paring: arryn!reader/Aemond Targaryen
- Rating: Explicit 18+
- Tag(s): @sachaa-ff @alyssa-dayne @oxymakestheworldgoround
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The announcement of your betrothal to Aemond Targaryen was made with all the pomp and grandeur expected of royal families. The great hall echoed with the cheers and well-wishes of lords and ladies alike, and yet, even amid the joyful occasion, you felt a weight pressing on your chest.
You had known for years that this day would come. The union of House Arryn and House Targaryen was a match both noble and advantageous. But the ache of your secret, buried deep within your heart, made the joy of your betrothal bittersweet.
As the feast ended and the festivities began to dwindle, you found yourself alone in the gardens of the Red Keep, the cool evening breeze offering a fleeting sense of peace. The flowers swayed softly in the wind, but the weight of your thoughts was heavier than the sky above.
You didn't hear Aemond approach until he was standing beside you. His presence was strong, commanding even in the silence, his one violet eye sharp and focused on you.
"Y/N," he said softly, his voice as steady as ever, but with a gentleness you hadn’t expected. "Why have you sought solitude when our union has just been announced?"
You turned to face him, your heart racing, your throat dry as the words you had been dreading to speak threatened to surface. His tall figure loomed over you, but his expression was not one of coldness. His features, sharp and angular, were softened by the moonlight. The dragon prince, they called him. But to you, in that moment, he was something more than the man bound to you by duty.
"I needed a moment to myself," you murmured, your voice trembling despite your best efforts to keep it steady. You felt the familiar sting of tears begin to well in your eyes.
Aemond narrowed his eye slightly, studying you with that piercing gaze. "What is it?" he asked, his tone firmer now. "You seem... troubled."
Your resolve crumbled. You had spent years hiding your pain, your shame. But now, with the betrothal announced and the reality of what was expected of you as Aemond’s wife, the weight of your secret was too much to bear. You couldn’t deceive him any longer.
"Aemond," you began, your voice breaking as you spoke his name. "There is something I must tell you... something I should have told you before any of this was arranged."
His brow furrowed, concern flashing across his face. "What is it, Y/N? Speak plainly."
You swallowed hard, feeling the tears slip down your cheeks as you finally voiced the truth that had haunted you for so long. "When I was a child, I suffered an accident... a fall that left me... unable to bear children."
The silence between you was deafening. Your heart pounded in your chest, your breath coming in shallow gasps as you awaited his response. You had imagined this moment over and over in your mind — the shock, the disappointment, the inevitable breaking of your betrothal.
"I understand if you wish to break the betrothal," you whispered, the words heavy with sorrow. "You deserve an heir, Aemond. A wife who can give you children. I cannot... I cannot give you that."
You turned away from him, unable to bear the sight of his reaction. But instead of hearing the cold, dismissive words you had prepared yourself for, you felt Aemond’s hand reach out and gently take hold of yours. His touch was warm, steady.
"Y/N," he said softly, his voice no longer filled with the authority of a prince but with the tenderness of a man who cared deeply. "Look at me."
Reluctantly, you turned your tear-streaked face to him, and what you saw in his eye was not anger or disappointment — but something that made your heart ache even more. There was no judgment, no coldness. Only a warmth you hadn’t expected.
"I did not ask for your hand because I seek an heir," Aemond said, his voice firm but gentle. "I asked for your hand because I want you. You, Y/N. Not for what you can or cannot give me in terms of heirs. That is not what matters to me."
You blinked, your breath catching in your throat as you searched his face for any hint of doubt, any sign that he might be lying to spare your feelings. But Aemond Targaryen was not a man known for falsehoods. His sincerity was as sharp as the sword he carried.
"You are... more than enough for me," he continued, his thumb brushing over the back of your hand in a way that made your skin tingle. "I want you as my wife, my partner. The rest... it does not matter."
A sob broke from your throat as you collapsed into his arms, the weight of your guilt, your shame, finally releasing its grip on you. Aemond wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close to his chest. His touch was firm but comforting, his hands tracing soft circles on your back as you cried into his tunic.
"I feared... I feared you would hate me for this," you choked out between sobs.
"I could never hate you," Aemond whispered into your hair, his voice low and soothing. "Never."
You looked up at him through tear-filled eyes, his face so close to yours now, his silver hair falling over his shoulder as he gazed down at you with a tenderness that stole the breath from your lungs. You had never seen this side of him before — this quiet, unguarded affection.
Without thinking, you leaned up and pressed your lips to his, a desperate, fragile kiss filled with all the emotions you could not put into words. Aemond responded immediately, his lips moving against yours with a fierce, unspoken promise that he would never let you go.
The kiss deepened, your hands tangling in his hair as he pulled you closer, the heat between you growing with every passing second. His hands, once so careful, now moved with a burning need, pulling you closer, pressing your bodies together.
He broke the kiss only to whisper against your lips, his voice rough with desire. "I want you, Y/N. All of you."
Your heart raced as he lifted you into his arms, carrying you back into the shadows of the garden, where the world outside seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of you beneath the stars. His hands were everywhere — gentle yet insistent — as he laid you down on the soft grass, his body hovering over yours, his gaze locked onto your own.
"Are you sure?" he asked softly, his breath warm against your skin.
You nodded, your fingers brushing against his cheek. "Yes," you whispered. "I'm sure."
Aemond's touch was gentle, as if he feared breaking you, yet his hands moved with purpose, tracing the curve of your body beneath the layers of fabric. He kissed you softly, his lips exploring yours in a way that felt both tender and urgent, like he needed you as much as you needed him.
With each touch, each brush of his lips against your skin, the world around you dissolved, leaving only the warmth of his body pressed against yours. His fingers slid down to the laces of your gown, carefully loosening them as he pressed delicate kisses along your jawline, then down your neck, the feel of his breath against your skin sending shivers through you.
"You're beautiful," he whispered against your throat, his voice thick with emotion, the words barely louder than a breath.
You closed your eyes, letting the sensation of his lips and hands wash over you, and for the first time in so long, you felt no fear, no doubt. Only him—his warmth, his steady presence grounding you in this moment.
The soft rustle of fabric filled the air as your gown fell away, and Aemond’s hands roamed your exposed skin, slow and reverent. His gaze never left yours, his single violet eye filled with something that made your heart ache, a tenderness you hadn’t expected from him. He lowered himself beside you, his lean body warm and firm against yours, his hands tracing the lines of your body as though he were memorizing every part of you.
"Y/N," he whispered again, his lips brushing over your collarbone, "I want you to know this isn't a duty or an obligation." He paused, his hand cradling your face, thumb brushing away the tear that had slipped down your cheek. "This is because I love you."
Your breath caught in your throat at his words. Love. You hadn’t expected that—not now, not so soon. But you saw the truth in his eye, felt it in the way he touched you, as though you were something precious.
"I love you too," you whispered, your voice trembling with emotion.
He kissed you then, slow and deep, pouring everything he couldn’t put into words into that kiss. His hand slid down your waist, exploring your curves with a tenderness that made you ache for him even more. He was so gentle, so patient, as though he wanted this moment to last forever.
You reached for him, your hands slipping beneath the fabric of his tunic, feeling the hard planes of muscle beneath his skin. He groaned softly at your touch, the sound vibrating through you as he shrugged off his own clothing, letting it fall to the ground beside you. His body was warm and solid against yours as he settled between your thighs, his touch careful, reverent.
When he entered you, it was slow and gentle, his movements careful as though he wanted to be sure he didn’t hurt you. He paused, his forehead resting against yours, his breath coming in ragged gasps as he allowed you both to adjust to the sensation. The connection between you was overwhelming, the intimacy of it sending a rush of emotion through you that left you breathless.
"Are you alright?" he asked softly, his voice thick with concern.
"Yes," you whispered, your hands gripping his shoulders as you pulled him closer, wanting to feel every inch of him against you. "I’m alright."
He kissed you again, his movements slow and deliberate, each thrust filled with a tenderness that made your heart swell with emotion. His hand cradled the back of your head, fingers threading through your hair as his lips pressed against yours, soft and loving.
The rhythm between you was unhurried, each movement a gentle expression of the affection he felt for you. His body moved against yours in perfect harmony, his touch grounding you in the moment, making you feel cherished in a way you hadn’t thought possible. The intimacy of it, the gentleness of his touch, was overwhelming, filling the spaces of your heart you had long thought empty.
Aemond’s lips moved to your ear, whispering your name in a breathless sigh, his voice low and filled with emotion. His words were a balm to your soul, each one filled with love and care as he continued to move within you, never rushing, never demanding more than you could give.
And as the night deepened, you found solace in his arms, his body, his love. You held onto him, knowing that in this moment, you were more than the sum of your fears, more than the woman unable to give him heirs. You were his, and he was yours.
When the world around you faded, leaving only the sound of your shared breaths and the warmth of his body pressed against yours, you knew this was more than just a union of houses. This was a union of hearts, and no matter what came in the days ahead, you would face it together.
Aemond held you close long after the moment passed, his arms wrapped securely around you, his breath warm against your hair as he whispered softly into the night.
"You are all I’ve ever wanted," he murmured, his voice barely a breath. "And I’ll never let you forget that."
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kittyscupcakeandbunny · 1 year ago
Text
CRAZY OVER YOU x MIN YOONGI
[HYBRID AU]
PART FOUR II
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
The truth untold
Side Characters: Namjoon/doctor, Seokjin/doctor, Taehyung/Hybrid Tiger, Jungkook/Bunny Hybrid, Hoseok/assistant, new character/Snake Hybrid, new character/unknown hybrid.
Warnings: Smut, mentions of blood, sharp objects, rut, beast behavior, yandere yoongi, possessive behavior, angst.
Genre: Fantasy, hybrids au, smut.
SUMMARY》 Yoongi is a black mamba hybrid one of rarest species of hybrids, who’s about to be put down due to his lack of interest in living. But everything changes after the new medical assistance (y/n) takes a liking to him. Meeting after meeting he realise his feelings for her are not the only thing growing.
< Previously Next Chapter >
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In the books they say black mambas have a distinct mating ritual and the males would even fight for the right to mate when a suitable female mate has been found, a common behavior among the snake hybrids we notice was that no matter the species the males would make a nest to Impress the female a sign he was ready to begin the mating ritual with her. Along the years was believed that behavior stared between hybrids since they no longer could fight for the female’s attention, so far nothing told us otherwise.
So far Yoongi has been presenting signs of heat, although I was sure of it it was all down the line once he told he in fact had no heat. Studies had shown that not all snakes hybrids had heat indeed but, it was so unusual to find one who fit in that category we never once thought Yoongi could be like one of those.
That could only mean everything we knew about him was wrong and by proceeding with a put down procedure the entire clinic could get In trouble for negligence of the hybrids care, as bad as it may be it was a good chance for making the higher ups cancel the procedure, that way Yoongi will be able to be treated the right way and live.
I couldn’t help but feel a bit of hope bloom inside me, helping on Yoongis recover as now my biggest priority even though i had grew more than just a few feelings for him through this days we seen each other i must put them aside and focus on the matter at hand. Those are the thoughts on my mind as i push him slightly away, Interrupted by the sound of my cellphone ringing.
- let me take this… - I said stoping the kiss, he looked at me with heavy eyes but didn’t let me go.
Hands still holding tightly my waist as I breathless took my phone from my pocket, clearing my throat as i see Jin’s name on the caller. He must’ve had arrived already.
- yes? - I began taking the call.
- hey yn, i arrived already, just left Yoongis room and I sanded some cleaners to fix everything it should be done by the time you’re over with his bath i think - he said, before pausing a long sight leaves his mouth - I’m sorry about it all, can we talk once you’re done?
I couldn’t stay angry at Jin for much longer, i knew better that his father must’ve had passed the order for Yoongis prescription and keeping in mind how his father the director really didn’t care if he lived or died anymore I shouldn’t have lashed out on Jin either.
- of course Jin, we should discuss some other things too - i tell him, meaning we must do something about this whole situ at hand with Yoongi.
- I’ll wait for you in my office then, see you - he said.
- see you Jin.
I turned off the call staring up at the hybrid in front of me, he had a curious look on his face still racing my back with his fingers. I took in all of him for one last time every little detail on his face feeling his warm body so close to mine before i release myself from his embrace. Walking back to the closet i get him some clean clothes setting them over the table i turned back to the hybrid.
- you should get change now, we’ll head back to your room - i tell him - Jin told me it should be back to normal by now.
- you’re always leaving me for that director - Yoongi mumbled behind me.
- what? - I turned back to him handing him the clothes.
I watched as he folded them into his own hands, never looking at me as he chooses what piece to wear first a pout forming over his lips. Ever since we meet i notice how he seemed to slowly get closer and more comfortable around me, the more i tried not to think about much of how possessive he seemed to become the more clingy he showed himself to be. I knew this wasn’t the right thing to do, by giving in this burning feeling growing inside my chest i could put him in danger a well as my career here at the clinic. I have been irresponsible this entire time but things need to change from now, my own hormones some how have disrupted this behavior on him as he said himself not long ago before we both make the choice to give in. He didn’t have a fault in all of this, after all he’s just a hybrid it is completely normal for them if they are put in such situations but, I shouldn’t have let that happen. As his doctor it is my responsibility to take care of him and I failed miserably at it, relationships with a patient are completely forbidden.
I can’t keep doing this to Yoongi anymore, i must draw the line now before is too late. Soon he will meet someone like him and probably forget about all of this between us anyway, i just need to save him.
A long sight left my lips before i turn back as h dressed himself.
- i need to discuss with Jin about he stimulants - i said, hearing the sound of clothes - that’s all.
- just that? - he said, still mumbling the words.
I could hear the pout on his lips as he said it, a small smile forming on my own lips. For the smallest second i let myself forget about all of my responsibilities, letting that feeling of warmth sink in my chest. Yoongi never wanted me with anyone else but him at the clinic i liked that, to have someone want you so desperately but that was his instincts. It was a normal behavior for them to feel protective of their partner. For them any other male presence meant a risk of losing their partner, acting out was a normal way to express that they cared.
Ever since he opened up about his feelings and my presence seemed to be getting his own hormones disrupted by mine, things were a lot more clear to me. That wasn’t him, just an instinct.
All because i failed miserably to keep my distance.
- why? - i asked him.
- it would mean I have to fight for your attention - he said, this time closer to me.
His words had a lot more meaning to it then i wanted them to, i had no doubt he meant every single one of them. Its common for snake hybrids to fight for their potential partner to mate if they are dared to by another male, Yoongi must’ve had interpreted Jin’s presence as a threat and certainly mistook my presence as a female in heat. It is much uncommon for it to happened, I myself never saw a hybrid mate with a human before it was so unrealistic too, none of my coworkers had said anything about it in all the years I’ve been working here. It really did made me believe that this was all my own fault, a hybrid mating with a human never happened before.
There was never a possibility for such thing to happened, hybrids and humans never showed any signs of attraction for each other before there was no scientifical background done above that.
Why would Yoongi even be able to sense my hormones was still something I can’t understand, it’s such an unusual possibility I can’t bearly begin to make sense of it. I couldn’t help but feel guilt about it, my presence was just like the heat stimulants for him. Nothing good comes from side effects. I can’t keep doing that to him.
- you don’t have to fight for my attention - i tell him.
He took a deep breath before walking back to me closing the distance between us, I immediately took a set back and he eyed me up and down at my sudden reaction.
- you… - he scoffed - you’re really driving me crazy.
- its not my intention, sorry.
My words had more meaning then i intended too, it was too soon but i had to begin drawing the lines between us. Now with JIn so close to his appointments especially, it will be better for him since he will soon be able to meet his potential mate partner and as much as it might bother me to stand behind those lines I shouldn’t have crossed before, i must carry on my duties as his doctor only. There is no space for love or any sort of feelings between us, our worlds are completely different from one another. This was never supposed to happen anyway.
The walk back to his room was quiet, no one dared to say a word and the space between us was thicker the the silence around us. It was almost to much to bare, having him so close yet so far away I didn’t know if he already had somehow caught on my sudden change as we walked through the long white corridors, he never said anything. I knew some time i would have to tell him this wouldn’t happen between us again but, i kept praying he would just run for the other female without saying anything. Even if it hurts, i just thought it would be better for him to carry on without me.
From time to time I would catch him smirking at me, he would look at me up and down as he walked slowly behind me, not being able to control my own heart feeling the heat rising up to my face blushing hot at his stare each time, he made sure to walk close to me the entire time sometimes bumping into me.
For the time being i would jut ignore it, until its the right time to tell him the truth and put that line between us once and for all.
Once we finally reached his floor through the elevators we made our way to his room, as we got closer i notice someone standing in front of the door to his room soon realizing from the looks it was Hoseok who stood there. He looked up at us a worried expression on his face slowly turning into an angry one as his eyes fall over Yoongis figure behind me.
- why is he not in a collar? - Hoseok spat, not giving me a chance o speak first.
- stop it - I warned him, a sight leaving my lips feeling Yoongi getting closer behind me a protective hand closing around my wrist.
- you’ve been walking around with him like this, without a collar? - he said, a baffled chuckle leaving his lips - after all that happened this morning!?
- yes and he didn’t bite anyone - I tell him, bitting my lip angrily - honestly Hoseok I’m tired of you all misinterpret him.
- now you’re defending him?! - he spat, walking closer to me making Yoongi quickly push me back and taking the front standing between me and Hoseok.
Both males stared down at each other, the sight made me feel a mixture of anxiety and guilty. Knowing Yoongi was only acting out of instinct because he misunderstood completely our feelings, this was just another reminder of why i should’ve been drawing the lines between us.
- I don’t have time for this, I need to talk with Jin about this whole situation - I quickly interrupted, getting myself between both of them i took Yoongis arm into my hand.
- I’ll go with you then - Hoseok said, resting over the wall beside the door.
This wasn’t exactly how I wanted to clear things out with Jin about Yoongi, it was personal and I didn’t wanted to have Hoseok knowing anything especially with his sudden attitude now. Seeing as he wouldn’t move anytime soon i only sighted taking Yoongi back to his room, i closed the door behind us once we were inside alone. Taking a quick look around the room seeing as everything was indeed cleaned up and fixed, the bed in the center as usual and neatly done as well as the small table beside and the only closet in the corner.
He would be able to make a new nest now and rest knowing no more meds would have such drastic effect over him again, i saw how he looked around probably already thinking about it as well.
Any signs from earlier events were all cleaned and I could only sight in relief quickly making my way to the closets over the right wall getting a few more covers from it and putting over the bed, feeling the sharp eyes of the snake hybrid over me as i moved around the room once i though it was enough for him i turned back to him who stood close by the bed watching with curious dark eyes.
- i thought you might want this, for a new nest - I tell him.
I don’t know what about this sentence that makes him blush so hard, he looks so adorable like that. I take in a mental picture of this look, soon i won’t be seeing him like that anymore but i shake off any bitter feelings from it. Treasuring this small moment, he mumbles a “thank you” and i begin to make my way out.
- I’ll be back later - I tel him before leaving.
Not looking back as i did so, the door felt heavier then it ever did. After everything that happened I couldn’t hold back the switch i felt once i made the decision, like that line was already drawn between us and he just didn’t know yet.
I took a deep breath after closing it completely, Hoseok presence beside me was a heavy cold bucket of water. I couldn’t blame him for his reaction, everyone seemed to be a little sensitive lately especially since all the events this morning. Safety protocols exist for a reason and as much as i hated to admit, it was wrong of me for taking Yoongi out without a collar on I shouldn’t have risked more even, essa especially when it had not been too long since he was acting that way.
- shall we? - he said, impatiently.
I only nodded letting him lead the way, guilty was weighing over me more then it ever did.
I knew Hoseok wasn’t happy with my decisions lately, he always been a brother to me and deep down he was just worried for me. I wasn’t exactly the smarted when it came to helping the hybrids, no matter how aggressive they would get i would always make sure to get the job done. There was not a single hybrid I treated that was continuously aggressive once i treated them, it is not their fault to act that way, after all, most of the times they are acting out of fear of getting hurt. Most doctors here don’t even try to get close to them when they are in such state, but I didn’t really liked letting the security handle them whenever those things happened. Just like the tiger hybrid was brought here, I made the mistake of using a small dose of tranquilizer and got hurt. Things like that can happen to any one here, that was why I always took charge of them. Deep down i knew i was part of the small portion of people here who truly wasn’t afraid of them.
Things can get ugly at any time, i wanted Hoseok to know that and stop being so angry about it with me because of it. He always seemed to think of me as a weak person, i got hurt and went back to work that’s how it always had been but lately he just seemed to be over reacting every time.
By the time we got in Jin’s office, the tension between us was thick enough to be cut in the middle with a knife as we both sat quietly in front of seokjins desk, the three of us only stared at each other for a couple of minutes after we got here no one even said a word.
Knowing Jin he was probably trying to figure out what had happened in the meantime for us to be in such situation, his eyes going back and forth between us. Hoseok was ready to set everything over the table, from the way he was heavily breathing beside me i could tell he was still angry at me.
- well… - Jin began, cleaning his throat.
- should i start? - i said, feeling the man beside me burn even more.
- please do - Hoseok spat, turning to me with anger over his eyes.
I swallowed hard, I’ve never been under this stare of his. It definitely pained me more then i wished it did. I took a deep breath before I start.
- I understand Yoongis behavior this morning was not one of the bests…. - I said, making Hoseok scoff beside me.
- yes, we talked over the phone about it for a bit - Jin commented.
- and we came to the conclusion that, such dose of heat stimulants could have side effects… - I said - after talking with Yoongi it was clear to me that this dose everyday was making him sick to the point he was so uncomfortable it made him lose control today.
- I understand - Jin said - I already made a few calls and since you commented before he’s been giving signs of heat they called off completely the meds.
At the mention of his heat Yoongis words went through my mind again, his sudden confession for not heaving a heat was something we had to discuss now. It might also be the cause to his side effects from taking the heat stimulants, when hybrids used to be put under the drugs they should give signs of heat as soon as they take the first dose but Yoongi only started to give signs lately under a big dose. All could only tell he wasn’t being affected even the slightest bit positive by the drugs because there was no heat happening to begin with, which could only resolve in a bad side effect.
- he’s not in heat - I stated, finally bringing a surprise reaction from Jin.
- what? - Jin nervously asked, a chuckle leaving his lips as if not believing me.
- i talked to him about it today, he told me he doesn’t go into heat - I explain - from what I can tell, he only mates to reproduce but we should take new exams to make sure.
There is a moment of silence between us three, Jin seems to be deep in thought probably going over everything to make a conclusion out of this. As much as it could help Yoongis situation, him not having heat meant more exams would have to be taking on him which would only trouble the procedures for his mating and we would need the directors approval first. He could state it is not necessary and we wouldn’t be able to do anything and Yoongi would still have to be put under the drugs again, if Jin convince his father we might be able to save him.
The information he gave us would be crucial to stop his put down, even thought it was just a hybrids heat cycle it would meant the director wouldn’t have much choice but proceed with new exams and procedures for Yoongi and depending on his results he wouldn’t have to be put down anymore.
I felt hope growing inside my chest at the thought of it
- I know you’re thinking what I’m thinking Jin - i tell him, immediately capturing his attention. There was a small smile over his lips as he looked over me.
- I’ll talk with the director and get the permission immediately - he said - it’ll take some time and we must take the exams first, by the time he has to meet the female snake we should have it all settle though.
- wait - Hoseok interrupted - so what does all of his weird behaviors come from?
- probably side effects of the drug hes been taking - i said, keeping short Hoseok wasn’t from the same unit as me things like this were unusual for him - hell be clean from it by Monday.
- yes….- Jin sighted - I understand my mistake and it seems y/n has a way with him no one here does so, I trust you to keep taking good care of him.
- as long as she fallows the protocols - Hoseok said.
- what is this about now? - Jin asked.
- I took him to bath and brought him back without a collar - I said honestly.
- y/n…. You’ll give me grey hairs - Jin said holding his temple - please fallow the protocols, i understand but…
- I will, sorry -I tell him - can we talk alone for a moment Jin?
- oh, yes - Jin looks over to me - what is it?
I wait until Hoseok leaves before i tuner my focus back to Jin, the time until were finally alone i kept thinking and rethinking how to even begin with all of this.
- so what is it y/n, you seem a bit worried? - Jin said, getting up from his seat in front of me to take the one were Hoseok sat before.
- It’s just, this whole situation with Yoongi and what he told me about not having a heat - i began - I can’t help but think that, everything we knew about him was wrong and by proceeding with this procedure the entire clinic could get in trouble for negligence of the hybrids care.
- I know, i was thinking about this too - he said - to be honest with you y/n i notice that after reading his old documents, Yoongi has been indeed been mistreated.
His words immediately stole my breath away. This was much more then i thought it was, it made me question more and more if all this time his behavior wasn’t just an act of rebellion on the clinic but rather tiredness and anger from being treated wrongly this whole time. While everyone thought of him as an asshole, he only acted that way because people have been unfair towards him. That made my blood boil.
- It’s been that way since he was brought here - Jin stated, a sight leaving his lips - i only recently found out about it, not much exams were taken of him for his well being but for scientific purposes. They’ve been testing on him for years until he became… well the hybrid we know now.
- Jin… - I helpless said - what are you telling me now?
- You know exactly what I’m saying…. - i could see his eyes shining like never before - trust me, no one hates this more then me right now.
He had tears older his eyes before he quickly got up and walk back to his desk, Jin hated to be seen like that and it took me a few seconds to realize the meaning under his sudden confession.
They don’t intend to save Yoongi no matter what, its all a set up to hide what they have been doing all this years to him.
- i wont give up that easily - i stated to him - tell your father i said that.
- I won’t either y/n - he said, i could see the determination under his features and that encouraged me even more.
- lets get things right with Yoongi first, before his meeting with the female hybrid - i tell him.
- I’ll take care of it immediately y/n, I’m running a few call already things should start soon.
- ok.
I got up from the seat and made my way to leave.
I could bearly begin to digest all the information that Jin just told me, I couldn’t believe such thing was happening right under my nose at the clinic. All of those years he’s been enduring god knows how many testes done to him without his consent, the more I thought about the more i began to think that maybe the guy he bit that time deserved all of it.
His behavior started to make more sense to me, this whole time he was in defensive mode, even with me. Just like the tiger hybrid i treated that day, Yoongi was also been through so much and he never had a chance to stop it.
I couldn’t help but think about his words, “please, tell me you’re not one of them”. At that time it didn’t made much sense to me but now, feeling this heavy weight on my chest the burning sensation under my eyes.
By the time i left Jin’s office i was bitting into my lip to hold my sobs from leaving my mouth, once i was inside the elevator i could bearly hold it back. It just pained me so much to know it, how hurt he must been all of this years all alone. No one knew it and the ones who did knew never said anything, not did they ever tried to help him.
I didn’t know what to do with all of this information, i just knew that now more then ever i wanted to be with him. After all of this time i was the only one Yoongi didn’t felt threatened by and finally i could understand what he meant all this time, before i could clear things out with him i had to pull myself together. There was more to do then i thought, I don’t have time to cry now i had to save him. I never leave any patient behind, I won’t leave him too.
Feeling the anger dripping out my skin I began to hate even the walls of the clinic and everyone here, anger boiling over me at Jin’s father for allowing all of this to happen and then just try to cover it all with all this stupid procedure but still force him to mate just to keep doing those experiments with another hybrid, i doubt they would wait for the hybrid to even grow up before they begin.
When the door of the elevator opened I made my way through the corridor without a single thought in mind, soon stoping in front of the door i put on the code to get in.
My body is hit by the hot temperature wave of his room already used to it by know, my hands are shaking by my sides once I see him already in his bed. I could tell from the looks over the messy bed he had already done a nest on it, sitting down over the mess of covers he looks up to me as i make my way towards him not wasting a second. He had a smile over his soft features but, quickly turning into a confused expression once he took in how i looked.
I don’t blame him, my face probably looked much puffier now since I’ve been crying on the elevators till i got here. I felt sick of it all, just for that moment i wanted to be just us not a doctor and a patient. Not a hybrid and a human. Just us.
Without thinking twice i took his hand in mine pulling him up as i close my arms around his neck, bitting into my lower lip to hold more tears from falling as i take in his smell.
How could they do this to him?
- what happened y/n? - he softly asked into my neck, arms closing around me just as strong as i held into him.
- I’m not one of them - i mumbled - I’m not like them…
As the words spilled from my mouth i held him tighter on my arms, noticing how his whole body went stiff realizing i knew everything. He tried to lean back but i only held him tighter, i couldn’t look into his face now i would only brake into tears if i did so, not being able to see anything but all the things they might have done to him.
He didn’t push me away after that, we kept ourselves like that for a while until he moved slightly away but I didn’t look into his face yet keeping my eyes over his exposed collar bones.
- you know…. - he began - y/n, please don’t cry I’m fine now.
- no… don’t say that - I murmured - Yoongi they’ll…
I stoped immediately from continuing, I didn’t know if now was the best moment to tell him the truth for all of this. I could bearly even say it out loud what would happen to him.
- what did they to you?
My voice was bearly a whisper, i couldn’t take that thought out of my mind. Why would they do such thing to him?
For another moment we didn’t spoke any words, he held me against him as he began to walk backwards till he reached to bed pulling myself with him as he sat down over it keeping me on his lap as his hands traced my back.
- it doesn’t matter what they did to me y/n…. - he whispered, hand holding my chin up to meet his face - i have you now, its more then I could ever ask for.
- dont say that… I’m not what you need - i tell him.
- but i want you - he said, his words sanding a chill down my spine - you should know that.
I wanted to tell him he was wrong, the was just the hormones speaking. That he needed was in fact the female hybrid and not me, a mare human. Another reason for us to not be together like this anymore, but just for today i allowed myself to be selfish again for just one more time I’ll stay in his arms.
[…]
Things didn’t got much brighter after that. I wished they did but it wasn’t that easy, Jin has been in a meeting with his father over the phone the entire morning to discuss about Yoongis future. He only told me he would be busy with that before the meeting started to inform me that he wouldn’t be able to participate in todays procedures with Yoongi, things were not exactly easy since his father was the one behind everything. Much later i found out Jin left the clinic to talk personally with his father, i began to worry even more about it.
I tried not to let show as i continued to work, when i left Yoongis room after barging in crying i had set in my mind that i would do everything to save him. If i have to give up on us to save him, i will. If someone mistreat him again I’ll put them on their place immediately, this is supposed to be a clinic to save and help hybrids recover not some crazy lab to experiment on those pure beings. They have been through enough already.
Since Namjoon was in charge of the treatment of the female hybrid i was the one in charge of checking their new room were they would be able to meet for the first time and began the mating process, as every hybrid have their own unique traits a separate space is created to accommodate their needs during matings to ensure a safe environment for both as they go through an important transition with their partner.
We had a few hybrids already in mating process, rehabilitation sometimes take longer for them and we cannot put them immediately into mating process as that can also make it harder for them to chose a partner. Our first priority is their safety and well being no matter what.
With Yoongis case I didn’t felt any different in that matter and the fact that this entire procedure to make him mate in the hopes that the clinic can keep his specie alive made me sick, if he was sick it would been a complete different scenario but since his healthy and the only side effect is his skin condition it doesn’t sit right with me to carry on this assignment, knowing the entire truth about the director and the things the clinic made him go through all this years kept making my stomach turn back and forth. I felt more inclined to save him even more now, no matter what.
The seventh floor was were the mating rooms were at, once i got there I quickly made my way towards the room assigned for Yoongi. The identification for it was YK10391Q, looking over the identifications on each door as i walked down the long white corridor it was separated by alphabetical order and his was on the few last ones. Every room had a separate entrance to a small room beside theirs were we usually stay to make sure the hybrids are well while they mate, everything is monitored by a medical team and the hybrids doctor on the first days before they began mating in case any problems occur. Anything can happen while they are alone there, in the past cases a few hybrids got a bit overwhelmed and ended up hurting their mate pretty badly and had to be quickly separated. They are given the privacy needed for their mating process but we always ensure everything is safe for them to enjoy such precious moment together. Nobody watches them but if something happens we must be there to assist them.
Yoongis room wasn’t much different from his right now, the temperature was high enough to make them comfortable and the lights were not as bright since their vision is very sensitive. There was a round bed in a corner covered with white heavy covers, on the other side close to it was a small bath tub still being installed.
- miss. Yn - said a male voice behind me.
I quickly turned noticing a man with a few papers in hand entering the room, he wore a yellow cap and by his uniform he must the one in charge of the design of the the room.
- hello sir.
- are you here to check the room of the patient doctor? - he asked.
- yes, are you the one in charge?
- I’m doctor, is everything to your liking? - he said while making his way towards the bathtub.
I took another glance around.
- the temperature is good as well as the lights here but, it’ll need more covers on the bed for a nest and could change the sheets for some silk, he has very sensitive skin it could be a little irritating for him - i said watching the man take a few notes.
- that wont be a problem miss, something else?
- ah yes, this bathtub how is going to be?
- just simple with a system for hot water and there will be put a small water fall in that corner as well as some lavender plants around, doctor Namjoon requested for the female since it helps her calm down.
- that’s good then - i tell him - for now that’s all i have in mind, when will it be done?
- it should be all done by today.
- okay, thank you.
With that i left the room.
We would be able to move Yoongi to the mating room today then, that was good since his mating would began on Monday. With him being able to be in his new room before anything we could still rearrange anything he might need.
Checking the clock on the elevator as i made my way to the first floor, seeing as i still had time before Yoongis lunch so i made the decision to check my patients before. Some normal and non eventful duties to clear my mind now is what i needed to get back in track.
I decided to check back on the tiger hybrid from yesterday, it hasn’t been a long time since i saw him so i should check his exams before making anymore procedures with him.
I took his files from the exam room noticing a few people were there a the moment, I complimented them before taking the files i needed and leaving for the hybrids room.
[…]
Yoongi - POV
I could still smell her scent on my clothes, ever since she left to continue her duties at the clinic after telling me she now knew everything. Part of me wished she didn’t know that, another small part of me was happy someone finally knew what they did to me and the fact that it was her brought some comfort to me but at the same time I couldn’t help but wonder if behind all of that she just pitted me.
No one has ever been this kind and understanding of me my whole existence, i was put on testes ever since I learned how to walk. They would take pieces of my skin, draw blood of me all the damn time. Not to mention the pain every time they tied me up in that bed to use chemicals on me, trying to test my scale’s capabilities of endurance, regeneration and so on. It became so much i could bearly eat anymore, it hasn’t been much long since they had finally stoped those tests.
Things felt different ever since these two new doctors began treating me, i never had a female doctor before. Never new why. She was the first one to treat me and I couldn’t help but feel embraced by her presence every time she comes in.
I had always hated the males in this clinic, they never showed me kindness even when i was a child. I wondered if all this time I wasn’t assigned a famele doctor on purpose, just to be mistreated by those men on purpose.
For all those years i had been in survival mode, leaning to adapt to stay alive but things seemed to have changed since yn came here. These two were not treating me for no reason, after being left alone to rot in here for so long their sudden appearance was not goin g unnoticed by me. I knew that she was hidden something from me, but Yn wasn’t like the other she would tell me when the time is right. I know she will.
Looking up at the dark ceiling of my room feeling the warm temperature surrounding me softly, touching my body through the silk. My skin felt so much better now with yn baths, for a long time i had simply given up on my shadding but I couldn’t do that anymore.
I had to look good for her, it was a given how fast i could heal my body. No one knew about that, even after all the tests they had put me under i still manage to hide everything about me from them. There was still a few things i had to hide from yn as well, i dont know how much longer i can keep this up though.
No wonder all those males doctors are always surrounding her all the damn time, her scent seemed to be all over the room even after she left. It continued to drive me completely insane, I wondered for how much longer will i have to keep this up with all the mating process she wants me to go through before i can finally take her.
I have a feeling those males she calls friends are trying to test my patience, not only do i have to worry about them but her other patients. That bunny was really asking to be eaten alive when he scented her, the more I thought about such thing happening the more anger boiled over me.
Did she liked that? How was he touching her? Is that the kind of hybrid she likes?
How dare her test me like this, i could feel my entire body vibrates with rage again. But quickly brushed off the best i could. I was lucky about the heat stimulants the first time, if i lash out again today i dont know how ill be able to get myself out of it again.
I hated to lie to her but, since she was also hiding things from me it was only fair.
Spreading myself over the soft surface of my new nest i let the warm temperature embrace by body comforting me into a deep thought.
- y/n…
Her name left my lips like honey, i could stil taste her from this morning.
It didn’t seem to be the right choice to mate with her but, after spending time with her and being around her I didn’t care if it wasn’t right anymore whenever I was with her every cell in my body called for her. After tasting her I knew she was ready for me, her scent was dripping from every inch on her skin a silent call for me to be with her only I could sense it.
She’s been considerate enough to get more covers four nest, I couldn’t believe when she did that. No one has ever asked for me to make a nest before, y/n was the one I wanted my mind wouldn’t change about that.
I needed her so desperately, I can’t take anymore crumbs from her. I need to feel her skin completely, every centimeter of her same beautiful body against mine. Her soft breaths as she can bearly hold heel self form the pleasure.
Spreading my arms above my head as the image of her beautiful face filled my mind, the ghost of her fingers around my neck were enough to make me go insane.
Even the silk covering my skin was unbearable in that moment, a feeling of numbness in my mind as her scent kept filling my lunges. I bite into my bottom lip tasting my own poison as I harshly ripped open my shirt, not being able to even control my movements any longer. Lifting it up to my nose to feel her scent better, it was so sweet i wanted to cry.
Hips moving up and down the more i thought about her body against mine this morning, how breathless she was under my touch, how delicate her skin feels.
I let that thought drive me completely out of my sanity in that dark room again.
[…]
Y/n - POV
By the time I was done checking on Jungkook the bunny hybrid again, i was restlessly making my way to the kitchen to get Yoongis meal. Jin didn’t call me but sanded a massage instead telling me to carry on the assignments without him. Nothing else, no words were needed anyway. I knew he was still talking with his father trying his best to convince him about Yoongi, i sighted watchim his food being prepared this was taking much longer then I thought it would. I just hope he gets in his father head to make the right decision for Yoongi, after all those years he deserves to be treated the right way.
I thanked the lady after she hands me the silver tray with Yoongis food, quickly making my way to his floor. I notice this time the food wasn’t just fruits but some nicely cut kimbab, the fact that they starved him all this years was a pinch to my heart. But now things will slowly start to go back to their right way, usually all the hybrids eat together at the cafeteria with a few exceptions for especial cases as we always ensure their safety and let them socialize with each other which is just as important for them. You can’t just lock them up in their rooms till they are fully recovered.
As i watched the numbers on the elevator go up i felt my phone vibrating in my pocket and carefully reach for it with one hand, seeing a massage from one of my colleagues informing that Yoongis mating room was all set. A sight of relief left my lips, thankfully I’ll be able to set Yoongi on his room before Monday. Since tomorrow is my rest day i won’t be working and will only be at the clinic Monday, the fact that I’ll be able to take him to his room brought some comfort to my mind. I didn’t wanted anything to happen while I wasn’t here and knowing Yoongi didn’t felt comfortable around the other doctor was not a thought that brought a pleasant feeling at all. Especially now that I know more about what happened to him, i felt even more protective of him. Not knowing if they would care for him nicely or continue to mistreat him.
Once the door of the elevator opened at his floor I quickly made my way through the long corridor toward his room, i had so much going on in my mind I didn’t know where to start with it. I knew i wanted to do but if Jin’s father don’t agree with us i could lose Yoongi forever, that thought was not the most pleasant to bear. I didn’t know what i was capable of doing if that ever happen, it didn’t help my nerves how Jin hasn’t returned any of my calls or massages.
For now i must carry on with Yoongis appointment as if nothing happened, until i can tell him the truth. He’s aware of the fact that i know what happened to him at the clinic, trying to carry on now as if I didn’t know or nothing happen was not what i wanted too.
With a long sight i opened the door to his room, ready to continue with this till the end whatever it might take to save him.
As the door closed behind me i waited until all the lights of the room were back on, felling the hot temperature of the room immediately embrace my entire body cold from the air outside. Walking closer to his bed were seeing as he was laying down upon noticing my presence he slowly lifted his upper body up.
Dark eyes staring into mine tiredly, almost immediately making my heart skip a beat.
I stared at him confused seeing his shirt ripped open on his body, exposing his chest completely as he just looked up at me with dark glossy eyes. I never saw such look on his face before, his eyes never looked so dark that his entire pupil was almost covering his entire eye, his chest moved up and down fast, sweat dripping down from his neck the ends of his hair wet from it.
I carefully placed the tray on the table over the side before quickly making my way towards the small cabinet on the right. Taking a new shirt and a towel with me stoping beside him, he slowly sits up completely as i begin to dry some of the sweat on his neck.
- did something happened, you look… bad? - i ask him carefully, worry filling every muscle in my body.
- I’m fine… - he mumbles, taking the towel from my hands to dry his face.
- are you sure?
- yes, y/n - he said, turning towards me as he takes of the shirt to replace for the new one i had in my hands - its just hot… can i have some water?
- oh, of course - I quickly got up to take the cup with water on his tray, turning around back to give him it.
He drank the water in big gulps, chest moving up and down faster as he finish it holding the glass over his knee as he looked down. I notice his eyes were slowly going back, still dark like a night sky but not like before. I sit back beside him, taking the glass from his hand to put it on the floor as I watched his motions. He looked exhausted as if he had run a marathon, i wondered what might have happened while i was gone.
I didn’t like to see him like this, i knew it was time for me to began setting boundaries and lines between us but, when i saw him like that i couldn’t help how i felt.
- hey… Yoongi - I carefully brushed a strand of hair out his face, gasping as he suddenly leaned down over my shoulder resting his face on my neck.
- you smell so good today… - he groaned over my skin, one arm closing above my legs as he leaned more against me.
I immediately went under panicking, there was a moment to draw a line. Set some boundaries Y/n.
- i brought you some food - I quickly changed the topic, taking his arm from around my waist as i got up.
Cleaning my throat while i take the tray with food with me, sitting back beside him this time i put the tray between us to create some space. I noticed how he looked at it for a moment then back up at me.
- you can’t eat only fruits for the rest of your life - i tell him - so, to start small and simple some kimbab. It’s really good and healthy, its made with vegetables and some tuna rolled up on rice. Here try some, eat slowly so you dont get an upset stomach.
I held one roll up for him to take it, he carefully holds before his nose smelling it before he takes a small bit of it a few pieces falling over his chest in the process.
- oh, no… - I chuckled slightly at his face once he realizes the mess he made - you’re like a kid eating.
Out of habit i took a napkin quickly cleaning the new shirt i gave him from the sauce it dripping on it, leaning closer to him as i cleaned his chin. He watched me quietly, not moving an inch until i lean back clearing my throat.
- so do you like it? - i ask him, swallowing the nervousness back inside.
He just takes another roll and put the entire thing on his mouth, looking at the food between us. Redness rising over his checks as i looked at him astonished.
He never looked so nervous before, what it is happening right now?
Confused i filled another cup with water for him handing it towards him as he took it sill not looking my way, he swallowed the food before taking a big gulp of water.
- sorry… - he said, looking up at me - I’m just… feeling bit hungry now.
- oh - the sound came out of my lips more surprised then I intended to - well eat more then but, slowly this time.
He just nodded before taking another roll and biting into it. For a long moment he just eat slowly and quietly, our eyes would meet from time to time whenever he wanted more water.
- you’re not… - he said after some time - you won’t ask about what happened earlier?
- well, i know enough… to be honest Yoongi, i dont want to make you go through all of that again just to tell me.
He nodded. I took the tray from the bed putting it over the table, we still had som time before i have to go home.
- right, your knew room is ready - i tell him, turning back to him noticing he sat in a more comfortable way resting on his arms.
- knew room?
- all hybrids are put in a special room for the mating process - I explained.
- oh, right… that thing - his face seemed to darkened as he realized what i was talking about.
- we still have some time so i would like to take you there today - i tell him.
- does it have to be today?
- yes, I’m not… i dont work at the clinic tomorrow.
- you dont?
- no Sunday is my rest day, I wasn’t even supposed to be working this afternoon.
- oh, sorry for making you work more.
- this is nothing, - i tell him - besides i like being with you.
- you do?
I nodded giving him a small smile. He gave me another smile in return, looking more relaxed now.
After everything that happened this morning I knew better then to overstep the protocols again with Yoongi, since he didn’t have a good history I assumed he was put on Red code for his attacks although I knew he didn’t meant to hurt anyone he would still have to be put on a collar before going out. On a small compartment beside the hybrids door its their collar for when is needed, all red coded hybrids had it, quickly making my way there typing the code to open the compartment i took the small metal collar. Turning back to him as he slowly walked to me.
- lets go see your new room?
- i dont have much of a choice do i? - he mumbles once he stood in front of me.
His mention brought a sense of discomfort to me, he didn’t have any. And i hated that more then he could imagine.
- sorry…
I looked up at him, his sudden apology bringing my attention back to him as i closed the collar around his neck.
- dont be, you’re right…. - i sighted - i won’t let them hurt you anymore Yoongi. Know that.
I wanted to make sure he knew that. After all I was here to save him, the reason why I chose to be a hybrids doctor was to help this new specie that fell misunderstood by so many when it wasn’t even their fault.
Knowing Yoongis past made me feel uneasy, not for him but now I felt even more pressure to make sure he’s well. Just the thought of being like one of those people from his past that mistreated him so badly made me sick to my stomach.
In just a few days Yoongi managed to completely steal my heart for him, ever since I meet him I’ve been trying my best to ignore those feelings growing inside of my chest. But the closer we got to each other the more I couldn’t let go of him, today wasn’t any different.
- let’s go see your room then - I breathed out.
He gave me a small smile before I opened the door for us to leave. I didn’t felt comfortable having to put him in a collar again, everything just felt so unfair ever since Jin told me about his past in the clinic. I felt like I should be even more careful with him now.
My entire career was dedicated to help hybrids who have been mistreated and unwell, I knew that even though he seemed fine on the outside he must’ve not feel the same on the inside.
He walked close to me as we made our way down the hall towards the elevators, no one said a words as we walked letting the comfortable silence fill the air around us. I notice how we were the only ones on this floor for that moment, but weekends are usual like this and if no special call are made for rescued hybrids the whole day goes by calmly.
I was grateful for days like this at work, it meant the hybrids were well and that was all I wanted for them.
It didn’t took much longer for the doors to the elevators to opened to the seventh floor, I walked out being fallowed by Yoongi who grabbed the back of my coat as we made our way through the long corridor till his own room.
I swallowed nervously, every hour that went through was a clear reminder that my time with him was going to end. I know I needed to set the line between us and stop this before it gets out of hand, it was hard enough already and Yoongi didn’t make it any easier to me.
Now that all was left was a day before he meets the female snake hybrid, I felt even more uneasy knowing he will soon be with someone who’s just like him and can fulfill his needs better.
There is reason why hybrids and humans didn’t work out together and why there has never been a single case like this happening, hybrids can only mate with other hybrids even though they are half humans. We can’t sustain a connection with their hormones to reproduce, for that reason, they don’t feel attracted to us at all.
I couldn’t understand how Yoongi could tell I was ovulating or how that seemed to wake something on him but, it happened. I could already feel the heat growing on my checks the more I thought about. Was I so hot and bother by his male presence that I lost a bit of control?
Shaking this thoughts away as we finally stopped in front of the door to his new room, i quickly typed his code on the digital panel on the wall. Making my way inside the room as the door opened for us, the room now had the same light effect from his old one.
I closed the door behind us as the lights slowly began to turn up above us, it would stay turned off like he was used to but slightly shining on a more warm low tone to make the room more cozy for them.
I watched as he slowly began to walk around the room inspecting every corner of it, he first walked towards the bathtub on the right corner occupying almost the entire wall as a small water fall with lavender flowers and some blue ivy’s surrounded them, a bit of steam flowing up from the water as it continued to fill up indicating it was warm.
He then made his way towards the bed on the other side, checking the extra covers on it with his fingers.
This room wasn’t as big as his other one, but it was made sure that the bed was spacious enough for them as well as the bathtub I see now. I knew for a fact he would love that for sure.
- what do you think? - I ask him, making my way towards him - is there anything you don’t like? We can change it up for you.
- it’s… nice - he murmured, turned back to me.
- that’s good to hear - I tell him - if you feel like you might need something more, just tell me and I’ll get it ready for you.
- can I get you here? - he took another step in my way closing the distance between us.
- that’s not… I mean-
- you said anything? - he interrupted, turning his head slightly to the side furring his eyebrows as he stared at me with those dark orbs.
- I meant for the room, the… you know - I couldn’t form a single straight word as I kept looking into his eyes, heat washing up on my checks the more hi stared and a smirk lift his lips up.
He chuckled leaning towards me, making me immediately hold my breath. His eyes locked with mine as he held my chin between his fingers, thumb slightly brushing over my bottom lip.
I was once again completely under his spell, it was almost unfair how easily he could have me wrap around his finger with only a few touches and sweet nothings. For a hybrid he sure knew how to lure humans into him, but to say he was not attractive would be a lie.
Yoongi was without a doubt the most beautiful being I’ve ever seen in my life, it didn’t took a genius to see his beauty was something completely different then anything in this world, he looked dreamy in every way. Like the ocean beautiful and filled with mysteries.
Almost human looking if not for his beautiful scales over his neck that shined a mix of white and lilac like a pearl. Almost unnoticeable at how softly they were on his body, shining so beautifully under the lights making him look even more unreal. Some would think a black mamba snake hybrid shouldn’t look like this, Yoongi sure was one of the rarest specie we had in our clinic. Black mambas aren’t truly colored black as many would think, the animal name comes from the black colored inside of their mouths and eyes and their body is of a grayish color. You could tell the similarities on him from his eyes, black like the night sky and the soft gray of his scales that only shined a upon light. Yoongi had no warm tone on his body, were his skin wasn’t covered in grayish scales he was so pale some would think he was sick but that was just another thing that made him even more special.
I stoped him from leaning in more with my hand over his chest feeling how his breathing has quickened as it moved up and down under my hand, swallowing nervously as i looked up into his eyes. His expression didn’t change a bit at my movements, he licked his bottom lip before turning his head slightly to the other side bring his hand up to cover mine on his chest pushing down against him and stoping over his hip.
- let me bite you again - he said in a whisper immediately stealing my breath away.
- what?
- please… i don’t think i can do this anymore y/n - he murmured, as if he was in pain.
Before i could say anything he pulled me against his body complete with his other arm, circling around my waist burying his face on my neck a gasp leaves my lips as i feel his hand sliding up my back under my coat stoping at the back of my neck.
My own hands holding him by the arms trying to put some distance between us but failing completely, i tried again at the feeling of his fangs over the skin of my neck brushing over it every so slightly.
- please… i wont hurt you i promise - he whispered above my ear lips brushing against it.
- i don’t… i - no words would come out of my mind to make any sense of this.
The more I felt his hands all over me again, the more my body seemed to gave in his words. Every inch of skin he traced with his fingers left a path of heat on my skin that spread all over me, i could feel any sense i had left my mind the more he held me. Any ounce of regret completely washing out of me as his fangs danced over my neck right over where he bit me before.
I was ready to give in closing my arms around his neck as he did the same, holding me tightly burying his head deeper in my neck ready to leave another mark on it.
My body burned in anticipation but, all that heat was abruptly cooled down the second i heard the door opened and steps towards us.
As if an instinct I immediately pushed Yoongi away making him fall over the bed and he looked at me almost angrily, i gave him an apoplectic look before turning to the source who interrupted us so suddenly and I immediately felt my body froze at the sight of Jin right there.
- sorry, did I surprise you? - he asked confused.
- ah…yeah a little bit - i mumbled, swallowing nervously.
- well, my apologies if I interrupted your sentimental hug i need to talk with you y/n - he said, now sounding more serious.
- of, course - i turned to Yoongi who now seemed to be even more angry - if you need anything there is a button on the panel beside the door if you push it, it will immediately be directed to the service desk you can call for me or request anything you might need.
- yeah, whatever… - he mumbled not looking at me as he got up, walking past me towards the bathtub.
I just nodded and turned to Jin giving him a small smile as we made our way out of the room, i was thankful once again for Jin if he didn’t show up god knows were i would have end up in that room with him. Shit, he didn’t see anything right?
A sight left my lips once we were out of the room in the long white corridor of the seventh floor, i knew i had to get a hold of my emotions but gosh how difficult did Yoongi had to make things for me. How many times will he put me in such situations? Thankfully we were just holding each other and Jin only took it as a hug, i need to stop this before it gets too much Yoongi clearly told me today he won’t hold himself for much longer. I shouldn’t be alone with him anymore, that way he wont act out and i wont have to fail again to stop him. Clearly he knew how weak i was with him and would only make things more difficult to me.
Jin turned suddenly to me, a serious look over his features. Once the door closed beside us he looked up to my eyes, i never once saw him this serious and it was not very assuring to see him like this. I could tell he was tired, the conversation with his father took so long it must have been a hell for him.
- Jin?
- y/n… - he gave me a small smile.
All about his looks we’re telling me something was off, knowing how long it took for him to come back with an answer from his father about Yoongi and how difficult it has been ever since we stared with his treatment, this could only mean it didn’t work.
I could already feel the burning behind my eyes the more I stared at Jin as he stood in front of me, as if the entire world was coming crashing over me.
- Yoongis case…. - he began, eyes staring down at the floor - his case was passed entirely to me, I’ll be the one in charge of him from now on.
- Jin…
Just like that as my brain begins to understand his words completely, I felt like I could finally breath again.
I couldn’t believe his words, by Yoongi being passed to Jin completely he would be able to take care of him without any questions. I immediately pulled him for a hug, hearing his chuckle on my neck as he hugged me back just as tightly.
- you almost got me! - i said, pulling out to look at his face - how did you get it?
- to be honest with you, he was very reluctant at first but if it wasn’t for… - he paused, looking at both sides of the corridor before leaning closer to whisper - his new addition.
- what do you mean?
- a new snake hybrid was assigned to the clinic - he simply said, eyes shining over mine.
Another snake hybrid? I didn’t know if I should be happy for it being the reason Yoongi was released from Jin’s father or worried, he might end like Yoongi.
- what? - I asked, releasing Jin from my arms - so far it was almost impossible to get them?
Truth be told, snake hybrids were the rarest kind to be found. That was the reason Jin’s father was so set on making him mate just to continue his specie.
Jin leaned on the wall a knowing smirk on his full lips as he looked at me, putting his hands on his pockets before continuing.
- i know, but knowing dad he would do anything to get what he wants and with the positive background of Yoongis treatments done by you he managed to get the permission for it.
- what does it have to do with me? - I asked even more intrigued.
- everything about Yoongis case was reported to my father, he used that to get the female hybrid and now he got another male in case… - he paused before continuing lowly - in case Yoongi doesn’t make it.
I let his words sink in before a long sight left my lips, bitterness rising under my tongue all over again. How dare they assume he wouldn’t make it after treat him so terribly for so long just to make it seem like “he didn’t make it”.
Jin seemed to notice exactly what was running through my head as he quickly turned to me, giving me a smile.
- don’t worry y/n, that won’t happen anymore - Jin assure me, giving my should a light squeeze.
- i know… - I breathe out - I won’t let it happen.
I will do my best so Yoongi never goes through all of that pain again, I’ll continue to treat him until his fully recovered and I’ll be there for him as he mates just like any other hybrid.
He deserves everything of the best. I’ll make sure he gets the treatments he needs in order to be happy.
- is that why you were hugging before? - Jin sudden asked, making me look at him suprised.
- yeah… - I could already fell the heat rising up on my cheeks and quickly looked away from him.
I could only nod as we made our way towards the elevators, no one said anything after that and I could think was things will finally work out for us now.
Like a heavy weight was lifted from my shoulders.
[…]
After our talk me and Jin decided to rushed things a bit, since Yoongis meeting with the female hybrid was in a day. If anything went bed we still had some time to make any adjustments for him, we would be starting over with a few exams today and as the results would be ready only tomorrow Jin would be in charge of Yoongi before the mate meeting.
I couldn’t hold my excitement as we walked out of the office, it was long enough for Yoongi to finally get the rest he needed and to be treated like a patient and not a lab rat.
When’s hybrid is admitted to the clinic, we first check his vitals and take some blood samples for exams and check the levels of their hormones. As well as any symptoms of sickness he might be feeling to proceed with the medication he needs.
In his case I agreed with Jin to get him fully examined, since I didn’t know what kind of tests were done on him we would have to check everything to ensure his condition is good.
After getting the right medical devices me and Jin made our way back to Yoongis room to start his procedures.
I could do all of it alone, but lately Yoongi was making me more nervous than usual. I didn’t wanted to risk anything like before so I made sure Jin would be with me at all times, in case Yoongi might try more of his plays.
Already in front his new room i quickly inserted the code on the digital panel and the door opened, I made my way in as Jin fallowed right behind me. Even though I asked him to come for other reasons, I could tell he was excited about too.
Not many people at the clinic knew this, but Jin cared a lot for the hybrids. He was usually busy but whenever he could he would show up at the clinic and help out, just like now with Yoongi.
I couldn’t mess this up now more then ever, my feelings shouldn’t matter now. Jin is putting every effort he has into saving Yoongi, if anything happens it will only reflect badly on him.
This is a hard to carry on, I let myself fall too deep for Yoongi. But I knew that once he meets the female snake hybrid, I’ll be left out in his memory only. Hybrids crave a mate more then anything else, I was just a side effect in his life. Nothing to worry about, soon he’ll meet with the one who’s meant for him.
I should forget about this feelings now, before getting myself hurt.
- Yoongi? - I asked standing in the middle of the room as I didn’t find him anywhere there.
- where is he? - said Jin beside me
I could already begin to feel the drastic change of emotions boiling up in my chest, worrying something might have happened in the last couple hours.
But before I could even get a single word out of my mind, the snake hybrid emerged from the bathtub.
I never felt more grateful for having Jin right beside me then in that moment, as I watched Yoongi brushing his wet black hair back completely - as I notice from all his clothes on the floor - naked in that bathtub exposing his skin for all eyes to see.
I gulped down, trying my best to stay focused on the task set for myself but, oh, god, how badly I wanted to run my finger through his hair, how baldy I wanted to give in to him.
Let me bite you again.
His words were like poison in my head, completely losing myself again as his dark and glossy eyes stared right at my figure. A chill running dow my spine at the sight of him.
- Hello Yoongi - began Jin beside me and I was grateful once again - are you enjoying your new room?
- humm - he purrs, eyes still not letting go of me - now I’m.
Shit.
- that’s good to hear - Jin said - we’ll be taking a few exams right now if you could please dress yourself?
- oh, more exams - he mumbled, moving forward still in the bathtub he leaned on the edge of it before looking up at me - can you help me y/n?
- what? Oh, yes - I stumbled on my words, still not over how beautiful he looked.
My reaction seemed to amuse him as I hear his deep chuckled behind me once I quickly made my way toward the small cabinet on the right to get him a new pair of clothes and a towel, and here I though he would behave himself if we weren’t alone.
I made my way towards him to hand him the towel, feeling the heat burn my whole face once I was close enough to hand him the towel. He looked up at me for a second not moving an inch to get it, amusement clearly facing over his soft features before he took it from my hand slowly as if on purpose.
I also didn’t move an inch, not caring this time to even look away as he got up covering himself with the towel finally getting out the tub to get dressed.
Now standing in front of me he took the clothes from my hands, leaning closer to my face.
- did you think about my offer? - he whispered, dark eyes drifting down to my lips.
Offer?
Let me bite you again.
I gulped down hard. He was clearly trying to get under my skin now, something felt different about him. Ever since we got here he’s been acting different, I couldn’t wrap my finger around it but something on his voice and even his eyes were not the same.
This time I turned around not to look, making my way back to where Jin stood looking anywhere but at me and Yoongi in that moment.
- ahm… we’ll take a sample of your blood Yoongi - Jin decided to break the ice - if you don’t mind.
- is y/n the one who’ll do it? - Yoongis question brought my attention back to him, he already had dressed his bottom and turned to me and Jin while putting on his shirt.
- of course I will - I reply, Jin gave me a small smile before handing me de syringe from the small silver tray.
I notice how his eyes switched to the syringe in my hand as I approached him, looking attentively at it as I carefully lifted his arm up to take some of his blood.
This kind of procedures are needed to help detect any diseases hidden from the naked eye or any damage caused by the tests done on him over the years, since no other exams were taking to ensure of that we would have to take a new one and blood tests are more accurate in this case.
Pushing the sleeve up his arm to find his vein seeing as they weren’t blue or green but a dark gray, was something I didn’t notice before. I looked up to his eyes before continuing, he had a hard expression on his face dark eyes still focused over the syringe.
- it’s okay… - I softly mumble to him, bringing his attention back to my face - it won’t hurt, you know how is done.
- I do… it’s just… - he sighted.
- I know - I tell him, carefully running my thumb over the single gray vein on his arm - I’ll do it know.
He only nodded looking away from it. This time he moved a bit when I inserted the needle into his vein, his eyes looked at floor clouded at the motion.
Thankfully things like this didn’t took much longer and in a second I was done with it, pressing over the vein with a small cotton making sure no blood drops before sliding his sleeve back down.
- hey… - I bring his attention back to me, holding his hand softly.
He nodded slowly almost leaning towards me but I quickly took a step back, stoping him before anything happens. I gave him a small smile before turning around to give Jin the syringe and the small blood sample.
- just one more now - Jin said - should we go already?
- ah, we…
- yes, please - Yoongi interrupted before I could even ask him - the sooner we do this the sooner it ends.
- right… - Jin replied behind me already making his way toward the door.
I wait for Yoongi before making my way to Jin, taking the collar from the compartment beside the door. Yoongi is quick standing close to me lowering his head down a bit for me to close the metal collar around his neck.
Usually at time like this he would never miss the chance to stare deeply into my souls with his dark and glossy eyes but, now he looked anywhere but me. Blinking a couple of times before nervously hold into my coat, once I’m done with the collar I took his hand from my coat into my own.
He didn’t look at me but seemed to be a bit more calmer this time.
I could only wonder what might have gotten into him, Yoongi wasn’t knew to this kind of procedures so his reactions were unexpected to me.
All I could think about in that moment was make sure he was alright until we are done with the exams, I’m sure once we are alone he’ll talk to me about it.
It didn’t took much longer for us to get at the exam room, the entire way there I could notice how Yoongi only seemed to grow more anxious beside me. Unknowingly holding my hand tighter each time, if I didn’t trust myself I would’ve stop this right away. But the exam was a good thing for him, it might be very helpful in order to make the right adjustments for his health.
I didn’t minded Jin presence this time and kept myself close to Yoongi at all times, I wanted to make sure he knew I was there for him and wouldn’t let anything bad happen to him.
Once we got in the room I notice from our proximity how stiff he became at the sight of the room, stoping in front of him to change his attention from it to me.
- hey, Yoongi - letting go of his hand to hold his chin softly - I’m right here okay?
- okay…. - he murmured looking back at me.
- is alright if your nervous - I assure him.
- is everything alright? - Jin asked.
- yeah, I’ll prepare him for it you can wait in the other room - I tell him.
Jin nods giving us one last looks before leaving for the room right next to us, separated by a glass window.
I turned back to Yoongi who’s attention was back at the bed in the middle of the room, it was a scan exam done by a clinical machine above the bed.
Just like and x-ray but for your whole body.
- come with me okay? - I gently hold both his hands guiding him towards the bed.
As he sat over it i quickly undid the bottoms of his shirt to carefully place the electrodes on his chest, once I made sure his heart beat was shown on the computer beside the bed.
- alright we are almost… - I took one glance at him before everything completely changed right there.
He looked up at me almost out of breath, chest moving up and done quicker then before as a bit of sweat began to form over his forehead. He was in panic, his heart beat racing on the computer.
- Yoongi what happen? - I held his chin softly up brushing some of the sweat from his face.
- I can’t do this… - he swallowed hard - please y/n take me out of here…
He held into my coat harshly pulling me into him, tears forming under his eyes as he looked up at me.
I felt my heart breaking into a million pieces at the sight. All the abuse from Jin’s father right there in his eyes as he desperately held into me.
- I know Yoongi…. - I held his face softly between my hands - I’m right here for you okay, I’m not leaving you alone. We can do this together okay?
- y/n… - he mumbled leaning into my touch.
- I hate seeing you like this…. - I whispered - I promise this will only take one second, I’ll be right here with you please Yoongi? I have to make sure… I have to make sure they didn’t hurt you any deeper then this.
I softly traced his face with my fingers, cleaning the tears from his eyes.
He leaned towards me resting his face over my chest, hands still grabbing my coat as he brushed his hair feeling his breathing slowly began to go back to normal.
I could see Jin’s worried expression through the window on the wall, he knew better then interver in a moment like this. By now everyone knew how sensitive Yoongi could get when he is in defensive mode.
- you feel better now? - whispered to him having him slowly nod over my chest, I leaned back to see his face catching his dark glossy eyes - can we continue now?
- yes… I can do it - he murmured leaning back but still holding into me.
- I’ll be right here for you okay?
- okay.
I gave him an assured nod as he slowly began to lie down the bed, taking deep breathes as he kept his eyes on me the entire time. I held his pinky to make sure he knew I was right there for him before I tune to the glass window on the wall giving Jin a thumbs up.
Jin nodded to me and with a second the machine begging to move above Yoongi, first the light would scan the individual for then scan throughout his body.
The blue laser light of the magnetic resonance begin to scan his body from head to toe, then from down to up his head. With that the scan was done already.
Once the machine stoped Yoongi got up from the bed as quickly as possible and before I could say anything he pulled me in for a hug by the waist, chest moving up and down against mine as he breathes deep.
- see? I told you it was going to be quick - I told him, lifting my hands up to brush over his black hair.
- it’s the last time right? - he asked over my ear.
- it is Yoongi.
He sighted resting his head on my shoulder. The first step towards his new life has just started, knowing he must been through so much this kind of reaction we’re bound to occur.
But from now on Yoongi will be able to heal from all of this and I’ll be right here for him.
To be continued.
Notes: here is is finally! I hope you guys like this chapter and next update will be next week! See you guys soon! I’m sorry if it wasn’t so good the next chapters will be more interesting!! Thank you for reading my works ! 🫶🩷🩷🩷
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