#starving as hell go to make breakfast but the kitchen is fucked cos I didn’t unfuck it last night

[candycryptids]

💀 Augh

[honeypirate]

Figure it out

Part four

Hinawa and fem reader

Masterlist here

The one with ✨ another song! ✨ And nurse 👨‍⚕️Hinawa!

I’m like that monkey at a type writer that people always say “even a monkey could write that” that’s how I feel with this lol but I like it anyway 😜

You wake up before him, slowly coming to consciousness as the sun shines into the window, your eyes flutter open and immediately look over to him, taking in his messy bed hair and calm face, a hand on his chest and one on his stomach. You watch him until you see him start to stir, then you take a deep breath and sit up, stretching out your arms and groaning at the pain and stiff muscles from your injury.

“Good morning sleepy head” you say when he sits up, he smiles “good morning” you smile at his morning voice, so low and raspy. “How do you feel?” he asks and you shrug “as good as i can post surgery with a stab wound. I don’t like that you were so overworked, but I’m glad I don't have to be here alone” he yawns and then smiles softly at you, his eyes still full of sleep as he gazes over at you “well, honestly, even if I didn’t have to be here, I still would come and stay by you if i knew you didn’t want to be alone.” you raise your eyebrows with a smile “you’d do that for me?” he nods and sighs, a soft sound containing all he feels about waking up and seeing you in the morning, makes him wish he stayed beside you when he slept in your bed. “of course i would. You’re important to me” he says softly and before you could discuss that any further nurses came through the door.

After their tests they tell you that Hinawa can be discharged and that you could as well if you promised to be on bed rest with minimal office duties for the next few months until you’re fully healed. You decided to take that offer because there was no way in hell you’d sleep in this bed another night, they gave you some as needed pain medication and a prescription for another month, with an appointment to get your stitches taken out in two weeks.

Back at the base you head towards the Captain’s office but Hinawa stops you “you heard them. you should go rest. I’ll tell Captain Obi” you’re about to insist you’re fine but he shakes his head, holding out your medication he was carrying “go, take some of your medication and rest” he orders and gently shoves you in the direction of your room and you huff before sticking your tongue out at him as you walk away, keeping your right arm against your middle so you didn’t move your stitches.

You stop by the kitchen to get some water and run into Maki, “oh Y/N you’re finally back! How are you?” “it’ll take more than a little knife to take me out” you say and laugh gently as you get yourself a glass of water “how long will you be out?” you take one of your pills before you say “a couple months, i hope less though” she nods “you should go rest but it’s my turn for dinner so it’ll be done in a few hours” you nod “okay thank you, see you later”

When you make it back to your room you lay down, the short walk strangely exhausting, you find yourself panting, your side hurting. “Okay, i’ll just lay here until my meds kick in, then i’ll get up” you close your eyes, trying to distract you from the throbbing pain, focusing on evening out your breaths, you didn’t notice when the meds kicked in because you were already asleep.

When you wake up again it’s dark outside, your clock’s lights reading 12:23am, you lay there for a moment, considering going back to sleep but your stomach rumbles and you groan, having missed all meals today you were starving. You slowly roll out of bed, the familiar walk taking longer because of your baby steps.

He was worried when you didn’t come to dinner, but he figured you were sleeping when your door was quiet, and figured he would make you a good breakfast in the morning. He woke up to your singing again, your voice from the kitchen vents

“It's nothing, it's so normal you You just stand there, I could say so much But I don't go there 'cause I don't want to I was thinking if you were lonely Maybe we could leave here and no one would know At least not to the point that we would think so”

He pushes off his blanket and quickly makes his way to the kitchen.

The lights are on this time, illuminating the hallway from the open door “And I couldn't tell, if anyone here was feeling the way I do But I'm lonely now, and I don't know how To get it back to good”

he walks in and smiles at the sight of you singing softly, heating up some of dinner with a metal bowl with your hands on either side, using your fire instead of the microwave. “Hey” he says and you look up at him from the counter you had used a chair to be able to sit on top of, “hey are you hungry?” you ask and he shrugs “i could eat” you laugh “perfect, I already have enough for you here”

You convince him to eat on the couch since you were injured, and he carries both of your bowls as you walk, he tells you everything you missed during the later afternoon and evening, the fights over dinner and the new information about the white clad. Once you’re sitting on the couch, he hands you your bowl and you smile up at him warmly “thank you Hinawa” he nods and sits next to you, his thigh pressed into yours leaving no space between you. He was warm and it was comforting, you found yourself leaning into him but didn’t care enough to stop, you were injured and medicated and needed some comfort from him

You eat in silence and when you are just thinking about how you needed a drink, Hinawa hands you a bottle of water. you didn’t question it, just took it with a smile. After you were done eating, you leaned your head against his shoulder and closed your eyes “when I was younger, I used to help out on my grandma’s farm in the Chinese peninsula. well one day i was messing around while working, completly goofing off, and slipped in some mud while carrying these 5 gallon buckets full of water with lids on them. i slipped and landed on the very edge of the lid. The edge went right between two of my ribs and cracked them. What was the worst was that one of the farm workers saw it happen and came to ask me if i was okay and I just popped up and pretended i was fine, i said “at least i didn’t spill the water!” and laughed And he gave me this like” you raise your head and look at him with a super worried face, causing him to chuckle “and he said ‘no sweetheart,who cares about the water. Are YOU okay?” you chuckle, the medication making your ribs only slightly ache, “I didn’t even find out my ribs were hurt until later, showing my grandma my bruises that night, it hurt to laugh for two weeks or so” you lean your head against his shoulder “you must have been a really tough kid” you smile and nod “I guess I was, but the actual reason why I told you this story,” you frown and bring your hand up, grabbing his shirt sleeve gently and turn your face further into his arm, your voice more muffled now “ this injury is going to take longer to heal than that one, which means less time I can laugh. And I love joking around with you every day, love that you make me laugh easily, I don’t want to have to miss out on that for a long time” he chuckles and lifts his arm, wrapping it around your shoulders and gently holds you a little closer “i’m sorry you wont get my amazing jokes for the next little while” you lean up and point at him “you have to keep telling me things! No! Don't stop. I will just control myself!” he smiles and you get a little embarrassed by your outburst “please, dont stop telling me funny things. Okay?” you whisper and he nods “okay, but if you hurt yourself and laugh i will stop right then” you nod quickly “deal! No going back on it!”

He laughs some more and you lean back into him, a smile on your face as you try and hold in a groan, pain shooting in your side from your wound, hoping to get away with it until Hinawa tenses, scooting forward and looking at your side with a worried face, thats when you notice the blood on his side and you gasp, looking down at yourself and seeing the blood spot against your white shirt “you might have ripped a stitch” he says and you sigh “fuck. Can you help me? I can't quite..” you hold your hands up and try to reach it to showing him how awkward it is, he nods “i’ll meet you in the bathroom for the better light after i put the dishes away i’ll grab the first aid kit and be right there” you nod and stand, wincing with the movement, thankfully Hinawa wasn’t looking and you sighed in relief. When you look up to himhe looks straight into your eyes “i saw that” he says and then laughs at your look “i’m not going to lecture you this time though, not unless you do this again” you nod and salute weakly “yes sir” he shakes his head and holds the two bowls stacked in one hand, his other resting on your lower back as you walk down the hall together, not moving it until you pass the kitchen and he leaves you to continue your slow shuffle by yourself.

You reach the bathroom and manage to maneuver your way up onto the counter top and once you do you look to the doorway and see him standing there, an amused smile on his lips “did you..?” he laughs “yeah, the whole thing. Im impressed with how determined you were, i could have just lifted you if you waited” you sigh and he comes over to you holding the first aid kit and an extra shirt

He looks at you for a few moments, you look back into his eyes without speaking, like you were lost in his beautiful golden orbs, until you realized he can’t help you with your shirt still on. You blush and look down before you use your arm on your good side to lift the bottom up over your head before pulling it down your other arm and holding it in your lap as you avoid eye contact now, suddenly feeling very self conscious.

He watches as you take off your shirt, the tips of his ears turning pink because of how soft your skin looks, of how gorgeous you are. He watches as you blush and shrink into yourself, watching the physical response of your self consciousness. “Hey” he says softly and you hum in question without looking up at him. He reaches out and with his first three fingers, gently tilts your head to look at him.

“Let’s fix you up okay? Don’t worry I wont hurt you” you smile at his warmth “I trust you Hinawa” he nods “good” he drops his hand and then washes them in the sink next to you before opening the first aid kit and slowly peeling off the bandage stuck to your skin with tape.

He dabs at your would gently with a wet washcloth as you hold your arm up, clutching your opposite shoulder so it’s out of his way. “it’s not bad, you won't have to go back to the doctor, you just need to take it easy and go to bed after i’m done” you smile as you study his face while he looks at your stab wound. He dabs it with peroxide, then puts on some neosporin so it won't stick to the gauze he places over it and then another bandage that he wraps around your middle instead of taping it to you.

“Is this too tight?” he asks and you shake your head “no, it’s perfect. Thank you for your help.” he nods “of course, here, i brought you a shirt” he hands you one of his extra black shirts and you thank him before taking it and trying to put it on. He watches as you struggle for a moment before reaching out, helping you unfold it and slip it up over your bad arm and then holds it as you slip your other arm through it, gently sliding the soft material down all the way, his fingers brushing across the skin on your back.

Once you brush your teeth and make sure you have everything you need, you lay in bed, him helping you get situated in silence. You watch him, a question in your eyes that you’re too embarrassed to ask “Do you want me to stay?” he asks for you and you smile shyly “only if you want to though” he smiles and then looks into your eyes “if i am being honest, I slept the best next to you than i have in the all of my adult years” you beam up at him “then you’re saying you’ll-” he nods “I’ll stay” your heart warms and your stomach floods with butterflies as he climbs into your bed beside you.

Because of your wound you have to lay on your side facing him, a smile on your lips and your eyes looking at his face as he lays beside you “you can’t sleep unless you shut your eyes” he says with a smirk, his eyes never opening. You reach out and grab his side, pulling yourself as close to him as you can and moving down just a little before you bury your face in his chest, he chuckles and watches you, waiting until you're comfortable before he gently wraps his arm over you.

“Tell me a story?” you ask and he sighs with a smile into your hair “real or fake?” he asks and you smile into his chest “you decide” he hums as he thinks “okay, ill tell you the story and at the end you can guess if you think it’s fake or real” he thinks for a moment before kissing the top of your head and beginning his story, his hand coming up to play with your hair that’s on the bed behind you

“There once was a prince of a small kingdom, he was handsome, intelligent, and level headed. One day the prince’s best friend was poisoned by a neighboring kingdom that was trying to start a war. The prince vowed then and there that he would never allow himself to care for another person again, never wanting to feel the same pain and grief again. He lived like this for many years, keeping his heart guarded, thinking he was doing the right thing” you were trying so hard to pay attention, forcing yourself to stay awake for this, it felt important. But the sound of his voice, the smell of him, and the warmth of him holding you, that fights to pull you to sleep.

“One day the prince met a princess, she came to stay at his kingdom and they became friends, laughing and joking with each other every day, she was the only one in the kingdom who seemed to understand everything about him without even trying. She easily walked into his heart and made it her home, walking through each wall and barrier like it was nothing, like it was her purpose to make him feel again. The only one who made feelings joyous instead of exhausting. She saw every hidden part of the Prince and made him feel worthy, she showed him how nice it is to have someone close to him who understands and doesn't make him feel guilty about where he lacks. The door in his heart opened for her like she had the only key.” you smile, thinking about how lovely the princess sounds. He swallows hard and his hand stills, strands of your hair twisted gently around each finger.

“The Prince fell in love with the Princess easily, even though he hadn’t felt the feeling for years she easily claimed all of his love as her own. She would sing to him, call him to her with her angelic voice. She made him laugh easily and not to mention she was an amazing person. She is kind, smart, and the prince is positive she is made of everything sweet and good. One day the princess got hurt.” Your fingers clutch his shirt gently as you whisper “oh no” he chuckles and kisses the top of your head before continuing “She got hurt and the Prince couldn't protect her. He felt terrible about it even though there wasn’t anything he could have done in the moment, he was tied up at the time. There was nothing he hated more than seeing her hurt and wished he could save her from it, but since he couldn’t, he would do anything he could to help her as she recovered. staying by her side and protecting her until she was strong again, until she was back to being able to protect herself. then he would go back to being her partner, and not just her nurse and guard.” You sigh and turn your face so your cheek presses against his chest “I like the prince” you whisper and he smiles

“Real or fake?” he asks and you hum into his chest, too far asleep to truly answer. You hum again and try to wake yourself up more but your mouth doesnt say what your brain tells it, it just mumbles out “my.. prince” before taking a deep breath and sighing into his chest, completely unconscious.

He wakes up with a start, panic in his heart from a dream he can’t remember. He looks down at you in his arms, a smile on your sweet sleeping face. You looked like an angel in his arms, the sun on the horizon hitting your window illuminated the back of you like a halo. He tried to move, to get comfortable again, but your unconscious hand gripped his shirt, and his heart. He was frozen to the spot, his heart racing thinking he woke you up, he waited a moment before looking down at you again.

“Maybe, if this happens again, we could sleep in your bed. It’s bigger than mine right?” you say and snuggle further into him, making sure you don't hurt yourself anymore, your wound was already throbbing and you didn't want to make it worse until you had to get up. He chuckles and kisses the top of your head “right” he clears his throat, the sun rising waking him up more, “you’d want to, do this again? Sleep beside each other?” you look up then, opening your eyes purposefully to look into his, “Hinawa” you reach up to cup his cheek “why wouldn’t i? You keep me safe. Do you think that these have just been coincidences? That it was just because you happened to be here?” you pull your hand down and furrow your brows “unless you don’t like mmm--“ you stop and change your sentence “ You don't want to. Then I mean yeah of course whatever you want I don’t want to make you uncomfortable” he smooths out your brows gently with his finger and he chuckles softly “shhh shh it’s not like that” he gently wraps his arm around you and holds you to his chest, his hand gentle against the back of your head.

A knock sounds at your door followed by Maki’s voice “sorry to wake you y/n but we have an emergency meeting in 5” you tense, knowing it must be big if they’re waking everyone “thank you Maki” when her footsteps retreat is when Hinawa lets you go, he looks into your eyes, he was sad you had to part so soon but he knew it must be important. “We’ll talk later” you smile softly and nod as he gets up softly and helps you out of bed so you didn't hurt yourself. At your door he cups your cheek with a smile before silently slipping out your door.

[thelattayhottay-blog]

The Girl who wanted to like Musicals

Welcome to my new fan fiction. It’s a Sequel to the guy who didn’t like Musicals. 

Be warned! There will be aggressive, adult language, violence, also there might be Things triggering you so please only read if you are consent with all of this. 

Also be Aware that this Story contains spoilers to “the guy who didn’t like Musicals” as this is a Sequel.

Now enjoy reading Chapter one.

Chapter one

“It’s been two weeks since tragedy struck our sister city of Hatchetfield. Candlelight vigils line the streets as Clivesdale citizens try to make sense of this unspeakable loss. Every last man, woman and child in Hatchetfield, gone in a blink of an eye. A meteor and a ruptured gasline was all it took to wipe them off the map. But it will take much much more to wipe them from our hearts”. Lydia turned of the radio. “Ruptured gasline my ass”, she hissed and returned to making breakfast. Ever since the tragedy in Hatchetfield happened it became the number one talked about topic everywhere in Clivesdale. While most people were sharing their fake sympathy for the many losses of Hatchetfield, Lydia was one of the few who didn’t care about them. She didn’t care about much at all, which is why she wasn’t in a good mood most of the time. But one of the few things she cared about was her daughter Vanessa, who just in that moment entered the kitchen. “Morning mum”, Vanessa said. “Any new news on what happened in Hatchetfield?”, she asked and sat down at the small rickety table. “Nope, just the usual ‘blah blah we miss our beloved sister city’ talk”. Lydia put down two mugs with hot steaming coffee. Vanessa looked at the sparsely breakfast in front of her. She looked at her mother who was nervously tapping on the side of her mug. “Mum are you alright?”, Vanessa asked while putting some butter on her bread. Lydia didn’t answer, she just stared blankly at the wall. “Mum? Is something wrong?”. Vanessa was worried. Usually her mother wasn’t like this. “What? Oh, I’m fine… I’ve just been… thinking… That’s all”, she took a sip of her coffee. It tasted horrible. The same moment Vanessa spit out her coffee. “Ew mum what the fuck? This is disgusting”, Vanessa took both of their mugs and emptied them in the sink. “I’m sorry sweety”, Lydia said while rubbing her temple. Since they ran out of coffee Vanessa put down two glasses and filled them with orange juice. “What is wrong with you? Ever since Hatchetfield happened you’re acting strange. It’s the fifth time you ruined our morning coffee and look at the breakfast. That’s just sad!”. She wasn’t wrong. The scrambled eggs were burned and had too much salt, the bacon was swimming in grease and the bread just looked sadly. “That’s it, I’m going grocery shopping today”, Vanessa said annoyed. The last two weeks she had to eat burned or frozen food, too salty or too sweet or her mother added too many spices at once. She lost at least 6lb in that time. Lydia stared at her, her voice was panicky. “You’re not leaving the house! You stay here. We can… Order food… No no… not order… Let’s see what we have left”, she stood up and opened the fridge. Inside was a box of spoiled milk, some wrinkled veggies, some sad looking cheese and the left overs of a pizza Vanessa had ordered last night because she was starving. Lydia took out the box of pizza, opened the trash can and threw it away. “Mu, NO! That was the only edible thing in this house!”, Vanessa yelled. She saved the pizza knowing the breakfast would be a disappointment. It was her favourite pizza, ham, pineapple and cheese. “No more ordering food from the outside!”. Vanessa was pissed. Tolerating her mother’s “cooking skills” was one thing. But not being allowed to finish her favourite pizza which she bought with her own money, that’s just rude. “You’re crazy!”, Vanessa yelled. Without hesitation her mother grabbed one of the mugs on the sink and threw it against Vanessa’s head. It hit her full force on the forehead. “All I’m doing is trying to protect you and that’s how you’re thanking me you crazy b*tch?”, Lydia yelled. Her eyes were red, and she was furious. Never before Vanessa had seen her mother that furious. What was going on? Pain ran through her head, starting from where the mug had hit her. The mug had fallen to the ground and shattered into million pieces. Slowly, Vanessa touched her forehead, feeling blood slowly running from the wound. “I just can’t with you right now. You’re a monster”, Vanessa said and stormed upstairs.

 Ever since she could remember her mother and her had been living in the same house, a small house at the edge of Clivesdale. Apparently, her mother lived in Hatchetfield and Vanessa was born there, but for some reasons they moved away when she was like one year old. Vanessa’s room wasn’t huge. The walls were covered in some old floral tapestry which was falling apart and since nobody cared to replace it, it looked really ugly. Vanessa would have cared to replace the walls but since she had no friends coming over, she didn’t have a reason to do so. Vanessa was a social awkward person. She never managed to find any friends or when she found nice people her mother told her to stop seeing those people. Vanessa never understood why her mother would refuse to let her find friends, but in the end, she just accepted it. She was a member of the school’s book club, but she never connected to the people there. Her clothes were spread across the floor. When was the last time she did laundry? It has been almost two years since she graduated from high school. Her mother wanted her to go to college but since they couldn’t afford it, Vanessa started working in the local book store. It was simple work. All she had to do was sort in new books, dust the shelves and tell customers where to find a certain book or show them the way to the toilet. “It’s not the ideal job, but money is money”, she had told herself on the first day of work. “Only until I find something better”, that’s what she told her mother when she started working. Now two years later she had to face reality. She would probably never find a different job again, not until she would go to college. There was a cheaper college in Hatchetfield. She would have been able to afford it while working at the book store. Also, she wouldn’t have to move there, she could’ve drove there every day by car. But as soon as she mentioned Hatchetfield to her mother, she freaked out, telling her that if she dared to enrol in Hatchetfield, she would lock her in the basement and never let her out again. Sometimes Lydia was really crazy, Vanessa thought and looked at her reflection inside her mirror. While she was running upstairs and staring through her room more blood had left the wound, covering her face with bloody streaks. “Bloody hell”, she hissed and slowly touched the wound. “Ouch”, she hissed again and walked into the bathroom across the corridor. One advantage of her bedroom was that the bathroom was on the other side of the corridor, so she wouldn’t have to run much when she had to pee or throw up after a long night of drinking with her co-workers. Touching the wound made it worse than before, she just realized. The sight on her right eye was blurry since blood kept streaming over it. How didn’t she notice all the blood before? It was just when she looked at herself in the mirror when she recognized all the blood. How long did she stare at her room to not notice? Vanessa looked at herself in the mirror. Her entire face was covered in blood and some blood had started to drip onto her yellow shirt she was wearing. Disinfect the wound was the first thing she could think about. She took a towel out of the shelf, drenched it with water and rubbed the towel over her face. That’s probably how you disinfect a face, she thought, but at least she got a better view at what was happening right now. The wound was burning and fresh blood kept running out of it. “Good job mum”, she mumbled and opened the medicine shelf. Unlike most people, Lydia and Vanessa owned a huge medicine shelf. Since Lydia worked as a doctor or nurse back in Hatchetfield, she knew what was important to have at home. And thanks to her over ambitious teacher at school Vanessa knew how to stitch a small wound. Vanessa took out some disinfection lotion, band-aids and the required tools to stitch the wound. She hesitated. She knew what she had to do, she practiced this so often. But she never thought she would actually have to do this. From downstairs she heard her angry mother, probably cleaning the kitchen and meanwhile destroying half of it. Nothing special, she thought since it happens all the time that her mother destroyed some furniture in the house. At some point they stopped caring about good replacements and just bought what was cheap and functional. Vanessa put down the tools on the sink. Blood started to drip from her chin, the blood was streaming down her face in big streams. Usually her mother wouldn’t hurt her, at least not that bad. Bruises were normal for her. Lydia always had an anger issue and Vanessa assumed it was the reason she was divorced. But she never understood why her father would have left her with her mother. All she knew was that her father was a crazy person, probably living in Hatchetfield, which meant… Vanessa shook her head. Now wasn’t the time to think about her sad family back story. Before she could start to stitch the wound, she would have to clean the face again, so she took the towel and rubbed it gently over her face. Tiny pieces of fluff got stuck on the edges of the wound. With shaky hands Vanessa took out some tweezers from the shelf and removed those pieces, trying not to poke the wound. But of course, she did, only to make everything worse. Angry she threw the tweezers against the wall. “Fucking piece of shit”, she cursed. How did Murphy’s law say? Anything that can go wrong will go wrong. Vanessa hated those phrases. She took a deep breath, then took a cotton ball and put some disinfection lotion on it. “Here goes nothing”, she said and put it on the wound. What followed was an agonizing scream, it burned like hell. She had to hold back tears, this wasn’t the time to cry. But this, she knew, was only the beginning of the trip to hell. She still had to stitch the wound. Vanessa looked around. There must be something she could bite on to prevent more screaming. Since she found nothing better she decided to take a towel. Her hands were shaking heavily, making it harder to get the needle and the string together. She took one last deep breath, then put the towel in her mouth. Whether she wanted to or not, now she had to sharpen her mind an concentrate. That’s not how she wanted to start her morning, but she had no other choice.

 30 minutes later, Vanessa had finished cleaning the bathroom. She carefully had to replace the band-aid on her forehead about five times already because it was soaking with blood. To ease down the pain she took some pain killers which soon kicked in. It probably wasn’t a good idea to take pain killers on an (almost) empty stomach, but she didn’t care. Too much had happened that morning. When she checked the time, she realized she would definitely be too late for work again. Her boss, a man in his mid-fifties didn’t like when she arrived too late. Mr. Miller was a nice man usually, but when it comes to punctuality, he had no regrets. Originally, she had planned to leave home earlier, go get something to eat at the bakery and then go to work, but since she was already twenty minutes late on her schedule, she would have to skip food. Vanessa sighed. This definitely wasn’t how she had planned this week. She was actually kinda looking forward for this weekend. Her co-worker, Miles, asked her if she wants to tag along this weekend to go to the cinema to see a movie. She hadn’t told her mother of course because she would probably refuse to let her go. Besides having friends, enjoying culture such as music or theatre was a big red flag in the Reynolds household. Every music channel on Tv was blocked, the radio had to be turned off as soon as music started playing. Her mother even edited her audiobooks and CDs so whenever music would play there was a harsh cut. Vanessa never understood why her mother was like that. Apparently, music triggered something in her past which is why she wouldn’t let Vanessa listen to it. Lydia even managed to get Vanessa out of every music related class. And since music was a banned topic in her family, Vanessa never showed interest in music. Whenever people asked her who her favourite band was or what kind of music she listens to, she always answered “You know, those who are famous right now”. This answer always counted, no one asked more questions. But it also had a good side to all of this. Since she wasn’t allowed to listen to music, Vanessa became interested in scientific audiobooks and documentaries from a young age. While others went through their boy band phases, Vanessa dived into the world of science. Her love for science helped her get good grades. Sadly, she wasn’t good enough to get a sponsorship for college, but that was alright.

When she checked time again another 15 minutes had passed. “Fuck”, she cursed and ran into her room. She still didn’t have time to change into something new. Vanessa pulled her shirt over her head and tossed it into a corner, then opened her wardrobe, hoping to find something acceptable to wear. One of her biggest weaknesses was forgetting about doing laundry. If Lydia wouldn’t remember her every now and then, she wouldn’t have nothing left to wear. At the bottom of her wardrobe she found a black dress. She usually wouldn’t wear a dress to work, but since she had nothing else to wear, she quickly changed into that dress and added a pair of black tights. When she checked her appearance in the mirror, she noticed that her dark brown hair was a mess. Quickly, she took her brush and put her hair into a bun. It didn’t make the situation better, but at least her hair wouldn’t annoy her so much. She grabbed her concealer and started applying it, when her mother suddenly slammed open the door of her bedroom. Lydia was sweating and breathing heavily. “Mum, you scared me, what is-“, Vanessa asked but Lydia interrupted her. “Listen, I’m sorry for what happened, I didn’t want to hurt you”, her voice was shaking. Something definitely was wrong. “Mum, what is going on?”, Vanessa asked and put down her makeup. Her mother was holding three bags in her hands. Two were already packed, one was empty. Lydia put down the two packed ones and threw the empty one on Vanessa’s bed. “Listen sweetie, I know you are confused. But please, pleaasee, pack some clothes, functional clothes. And hurry, we need to leave!”, Lydia said and stormed into the bathroom. Vanessa was confused. What the hell was going on? When Lydia came back, she had another bag with her, filled with what has been in the medicine shelf before. “Mum, please tell me what is going on”. It was then when she heard them for the first time. There were voices, loud voices outside the house. She heard them through the window. “Are you sure this is where you delivered yesterday?”, she heard a woman say. “Shitshitshitshitshit”, Lydia said and started to throw random clothing into the bag on Vanessa’s bag. “Don’t just stand there, help me pack!”, she yelled. “I won’t until you tell me what is going on!”. Tears started to fill up Vanessa’s eyes. It’s one thing to hurt her or destroy the inventory of their house. But never before she has seen her mother so nervous before. Lydia walked over to Vanessa and put her hands on her shoulders. “Listen sweetie. What happened in Hatchetfield wasn’t just a ruptured gasline. What happened there is coming to Clivesdale and if we don’t hurry and leave soon enough, we’ll share the same fate as the citizens of Hatchetfield”. “What-“. “Don’t interrupt me but listen, Vanessa. Your father predicted this exact scenario 30 years ago. Back then I didn’t want to believe him, I thought he was crazy. But it all adds up. Everything that happened in Hatchetfield, everything that is happening right now, it all adds up. We have to leave-NOW!”, Lydia zipped the bag and walked over to the door. “I will explain everything once we’re gone, but now we need to hur-“. A window shattered. The noises came from downstairs. First there was the shattering of the window, then there were voices. “The car is still outside, they can’t have left yet”, a male voice said. Someone was downstairs. Vanessa started to panic. “No, not now”, Lydia hissed. She looked at Vanessa. It was this moment where Lydia realized that only one of them would make it out alive. She hesitated, then she went over to Vanessa and handed her the car keys as well as the bag with her clothes, the bag with the medicine and a briefcase. “Take the car. Try to leave Clivesdale as fast as possible. You know my friend Leighton, right? He lives few miles outside from Clivesdale. You need to go to him. His address is in the car”, Lydia hugged Vanessa. “Do not stop. Don’t stop until you get to him. I filled the car yesterday, so you shouldn’t have to stop for gas”. The noises downstairs got louder. It seems like more people had entered the house. “You need to leave over the steps at the back of the house. Don’t worry about me”, Lydia gave her daughter a kiss on the cheek, knowing that it would be the last kiss she would be giving her. “Mum, what is happening?! Why do I have to leave?”, Vanessa was crying. Lydia stroke her cheek. “Now is not the time to cry. You must be brave. It will make sense as soon as you get to Leighton. One last thing”, she pointed at the briefcase. “Open it when you are out of Clivesdale, only when you’re save. It will explain everything”. The people downstairs reached the stairs, they were currently debating who should go up first. “Open it before you reach Leighton’s place. If what is happening right now already happened at his place, you will then now what to do. Just promise me that you survive”, Lydia hugged her one more time. “I love you, Vanessa. Always did and always will. And now go!”, Lydia left the room. Vanessa didn’t know what to do. It all sounded like a movie. But it was reality. She knew that if her mother was acting like this, then it must be really bad. She wiped away her tears. “Be strong”, she whispered to herself, then took the bags and left her room, walking down the corridor in order to get to the back of the house. Vanessa turned around one last time, just to see a man walking up the stairs to her mother. He was the same age as her mother she assumed but taller. Something about him felt familiar. “Hello Henry”, she heard Lydia say. “Long time no see”. More people were joining Henry. “My sweet sweet Lydia”, he said and grinned at her. “Did you really think you could escape from us? That you could stop us?”, he laughed. He had a beautiful smile, a smile she recognized. It was her own smile in some way, she thought. Lydia looked back at her one more time, signalling her that she has to hurry. “I know I can’t stop all of you. But at least I can make sure you never get her”. The last thing she saw before she ran out of the house was her mother pushing herself and all the people in front of her down the stairs.

[ckhalifa-blog1]

California Island:pensideout.org

    I’M ILL NOT SICC          

Born,

Eleven sixteen Eighty-Eight,

On this day I cried to wake,

Didn’t know what I was,

Or where I was,

Held in rubber gloves,

Passed through the fuzz,

Now I was passed to my mum,

But this is not where I begun,

 Forty one years ago my mum begun,

To a catholic mum who was far from a nun,

And a pop who would help to defeat Hitler,

 My father was from a family much richer,

A family in the pictures,

Cairo’s Hollywood,

Fatma, and Niema Atkif,

Gili Gili doing backflips,

A family of actors,

  A pure bred American,

And a hungry Egyptian,

Got together to cook,

I’m what popped out of the kitchen,

Wait something is missing?

An older sister from the same kitchen,

She prayed, asked, wished for me,

Now birthed she gets to name me,

First name Shawn last name K-leaf,

Middle name Malone for a grandpa never known,

Although Pop’s was a rolling stone,

I was part of a happy home,

 My mom would have to be a pop,

For me and my Sis,

This was going to be hard,

When every window in the hood was barred,

Trapped in a jungle,

Crime is Los Angeles Fungal,

93 hit harder than a San Andreas rumble,

A white woman alone with two kids,

In a city with no positives,

My mom packed up our apartment,

Stuffed our lives inside of a small van,

Drove 80-miles east to a very raw land,

Perris California our escape plan,

 Who Knew?

Who Knew?

Who Knew?

I didn’t,

She didn’t,

 Things gotta get better,

Beside the strange weather,

Perris sun as hot as a desert,

Our new home was a treasure,

Three bedrooms were fly,

Living, den and room to dine,

Streets were clean we could play outside,

This was life,

That was life,

Definition of how to live in California right,

Despite hype or our past plight,

Our new life was taking flight,

A curly haired bad boy who loved to fight,

But only because every time I went outside,

I had to fight,

 Mom still worked in L.A.,

So she was gone all day,

Some days I went out to play,

Some days everything was okay,

Some days the sky turned gray,

Older kids punched me in the face,

 The neighbor was a grown up,

He worked in construction,

He should have protected me,

Instead he was destructive,

Bicycled past his home with a wave,

His anger rose like a wave,

Like Marsha I took a football to my face,

I fell, and I cried,

Told mom but the neighbor said I lied,

That was the day my safety died,

I was unprotected,

Like Charlie Sheen’s penis,

5-year’s old,

I could tell you what a mean street is,

 Who could see this?

I couldn’t see this,

Good Lord I needed Jesus,

Truth told he never left me alone,

When I almost died,

You saw me pull through,

Whenever I cried,

I got strength from you,

 One day the sky was blue,

And yes I remember you,

Daniel, Alex, and Desiree,

You kidnapped me,

Locked me inside an abandoned houses garage,

Tears flowed a barrage,

You laughed,

I see you through the window,

Did you know I was scared of the dark?

I believed in monsters I believed in ghost,

I was scared the most,

Why did you do it?

You ruined me you ruined me,

 Low budget kids in poverty,

Using abandoned homes as a playground,

I bet you heard the sound,

From the very first pound,

Punched my way through a window,

It wasn’t that simple,

Ripped my arm open,

Got the scar to prove it,

Still needed help,

None of you would do it,

All stood still,

I thought you killed me,

Thinking I was a goner,

I walked home slowly,

First worst day of my life,

And I was only five,

Again I nearly died,

Yet God never left my side,

Instead I got a gift inside,

I knew I would go through a lot,

And get through it all,

And grow to be tall,

Bigger than all of my flaws…..

 If I can change the world,

I’ll do it,

On California Island,

If I can change the world,

I’ll do it,

On California Island…

 I was raised on a street with hopes and dreams,

Two story track house a few dope fiends,

It was the 90’s and the trendiness thing,

Was moving out of L.A.,

Life couldn’t be better than it seemed,

The worst side of my city was on the other side of a freeway,

I lived up-town people were getting paid,

On my block we never heard of a raid,

That was down town over the bridge bullshit,

Where Crips and ese’s were trying to get hood rich,

Then 96 came and little Pimp Mob started,

I wish my mama told me to stay out of those apartments,

I swear hanging in the Pink’s was where all my drama started,

There was NPM’s then PNHC’s,

Up-town’s Crip mentality,

I learned to like Blue and never speak with the B’s,

But in my heart I knew gang banging wasn’t for me,

So I just stuck to smoking weed and running from the police,

I will never forget the time they beat me,

That was payback for the time’s I ran and beat them,

If I can change the world I must start where it begins,

 If I can change the world,

I’ll do it,

On California Island,

If I can change the world,

I’ll do it,

On California Island, …

 There was a big bang,

My new clothes was heavy chains,

I lost everything,

No weed I felt every pain,

It was heavy main,

I thought I had life figured out,

I knew noth-a-thing,

No way of getting out,

I was there to stay,

Locked in my cell a couple of days,

Then I start to pray,

Church man came,

Said, “Give your life to Christ get rid of your pain”,

How do I choose right after living this way?

He said accept your Lord and Savior and be saved,

I did and watched yesterday get washed away,

 If I can change the world,

I will do it,

On California Island,

If I can change the world,

I’ll do it,

On California Island …

 First it was Perris California,

Grams of marijuana,

Now it’s a message to the youth saying you don’t really wanna,

Lose your life and be a goner,

Prison crops are growing taller,

To feed the street thugs and ballers,

All they do is hear you holla,

That you make the mighty dolla,

That pay the CO.’s and Police to beat you when they wanna,

You deceitful you dishonor,

Please just be cool and don’t bother,

I am prequel to this squalor,

It won’t be too cool to follow,

And be a sequel to my failure,

I can change the world,

If you live your life better,                            

You hear that?

I just changed the world,

Because you living life better,

 California Island,

Here I come,

Right back where I started from,

 If the radio played me,

They wouldn’t call me crazy,

But if I put this hook in a book,

They’d be quick to medicate me,

Lock me up cage me,

Two chains is my jewelry,

Not talking bout a neckless,

I’m talking bout what I have to wear,

Just to eat my breakfast,

I swear I’m not even here,

I live somewhere in my synapses,

I’ll do this sentence backwards,

Now I’m only 15,

Locked in a cell with a lil kid sink,

Now it’s 2017 and all I did was blink,

That’s wisdom from an old lady,

My mama never did crack they called me a soul baby,

So So So baby,

I already told my mama there’s no justice there’s just us,

Ten minutes later they found me bleeding in hand cuffs,

Slammed me into a wall and I didn’t even cuss,

Now I’m locked in a hole with No Good and Bad Luck,

Told them my names Shawn Khalifa and I don’t give a fuck,

 California Island,

Here I come,

Right back where I started from,

 I’m not goin worry about nothing,

That’s wisdom from PSYCO,

Today I will be happy,

Joy has a hold of me,

Ain’t never letting go of me,

Ain’t it good to be happily,

A positive vibed mentality,

One day when I get released,

To the dirty concrete,

Tears of joy I will weep,

As I kiss the street,

Back to my feet lots of friends to meet,

Washed clean of my sins things will never be the same,

Men change I’ve changed,

Things will never be the same I changed,

Seven wise men say they live to be good men,

One dull man say’s I am who I am,

Now you tell me who’s the wise man,

You see you have your real’s and your lie’s,

Your dull and the wise,

But the wise are so wise they tell lies,

They’re just bad guys in disguise,

The dull tells you what it is,

So in the dull wisdom lives,

So when I’m judged dull it’s a compliment,

  California Island,

Here I come,

Right back where I started from,

 Inside a system where I have been ruled to nothing,

I don’t get back by saying Motha fuck um,

I been died so they can’t kill what’s already dead,

Been fed can’t starve me again,

In death I feel so live I’m not in the pen,

I am basically a hologram waiting to end,

Then I’ll be an angel to take care of my friends,

When days grow long no end in sight,

Reach deep down bring out the light,

Me and you may yet share a struggle,

But oh yes you and I will bare our trouble,

We have walked this road before where others have tread,

In the lowest place raised our heads,

Brothers and sisters there is this place,

On an Island of lore what is this place,

But an Island of horror please say grace thank the Lord,

They got all they can get can’t take no more,

24 behind a closed door,

Not close to what’s in store,

I’m a thousand feet away some sinners are close to hell,

I don’t hate anybody they do enough of that themselves,

And Psalms 109 takes care of that by itself,

Please do me one favor when you put this book on a shelf,

Thank God that you are you and not somebody else…

 On California Island…

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