#starting to understand my mother manifesting our fridge breaking down

[ehlihr]

why did they ever make fridges with freezers at the top i hate that fridges have the freezers at the top

[nickrbockr]

Simon Vs Fan Fic: Chapter 5 - Beer Pong: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying & Love Abby and Nick

Ao3

The first show in the season was Spamalot. Nothing against the musical and to many, MANY people’s shock, it’s not my favorite show. Ian is also more of a stage and film actor, so he didn’t audition at all. Because of this, I have an ensemble role and dramatically less rehearsal time on the evening and weekends which left a hole that could only be filled by an Abby & Nick filled weekend extravaganza!

Too much? Oh well. They’re coming this weekend and it’s been needed since I haven’t seen them since the summer. Nick is tearing it up a Julliard in composition and is working a lot with both the vocal performers and the orchestra and has caught the eye of film studios in New York. Many people want to collaborate with him and it’s so great to see Nick become a break out star.

Abby has also had her share of business on the designing aspect. She designed sets for an off-Broadway production of ‘Reefer Madness’ as well as designed and created costumes for the school productions. She has turned into the stereotypical paint-covered human being who constantly hustles. Nick also connects her to his friends at Julliard to commission outfits for their recitals and even Glinda and Elphaba’s dresses for their performance of Wicked.

Needless to say, they are both constantly busy and we hear from them sporadically, but when we’re all able to connect, it’s like we never left Shady Creek. It’s what makes us work as a group: time has no impact on our friendships.

It’s been about a month since I spoke to Tracy and got her blessing and I’ve been coasting on happiness from her approval. One down, two to go, but Elijah has been more difficult to pin down for a talk.

Don’t get me wrong, Bram’s dad and I get along great, it’s just nerve wracking talking to any father of the person you’re planning on marrying. It’s scary, almost scarier than proposing to Bram. Why was it easier with Tracy? I guess easy was a subjective word. Maybe because we expect mothers to be more accepting than fathers. I don’t know if that’s true, but in this case of Tracy and Elijah, I think it is.

I try to call him and I always seem to get his voice mail. I’ll leave brief messages, but then he always texts back responding to whatever voice mail I left. It made me realize it’s probably why Bram acted the way he did in high school. Bram has grown since then, and I’d like to think I helped him. The only thing he didn’t out grow was how he surprised me with gifts in random spots he knew I’d look. Leah has helped him leave plenty of gifts for birthdays and for days that Bram just felt like sending me flowers or small care packages of Oreos. And he’s impacted me. I wear band shirts now.

“Yeah, he’s not the best person at communication,” Tracy told me when I called to ask for advice. “He means no ill will, Simon, understand that much.”

“Oh no, I don’t think that either. But do you think…and this is going to sound weird, but do you think there is any way I can sort of…trick him into seeing me in person?”

Tracy laughed over the phone as I stare my Elliot Smith poster above my bed. I put him there because now I think of Bram every time I see him. It makes me reflect on Bram boppin’ and groovin’ his head as he got himself to like Elliot Smith only because he was trying impress a boy in high school using a pseudonym.

“The only thing that man loves more than Bram is fishing. Talk him into a fishing trip and you got yourself at least a half-day with him.”

Great. Such a dad response to have to be distracted doing something else to talk about a totally unrelated subject. Also, as you may know, I never had the best time fishing. But it’s no longer about me, it’s about Bram and me.

“That shouldn’t be hard, New Haven is right on the water.”

“Sounds like you got this, son.” Tracy said with motherly warmth. It was weird to hear her call me son, but soon she wouldn’t be wrong to call me that. It’s becoming more and more real everyday that my future is rapidly approaching and it’s scary and new and fun and in the end I won’t be alone in my adventure. My heart beat increased and lips parted.

“Thank you…Mom.” I reply.

“Go get him tiger.”

The call ended and I let my phone fall on the bed. The fan rotated slowly around as it hypnotized me into thought. I thought about my life four short years ago. I had just discovered there was another person like me and the seemingly isolated journey of discovering I was a boy who liked boys was joined by another face. A Blue face.

Blue. Bram. Blue. Bram. Abraham Louis Greenfeld-Spier? Simon Jacob Spier-Greenfeld? Abraham Louis Speir? Simon Jacob Greenfeld? Which flowed off the tongue better? It just occurred to me that we’ll have to have that discussion of the last name. Or will we just keep our own? Should we create a new last name? I can cross that bridge later.

Bzzz.

Abby calling.

“Hey Abby,” I answer.

“Simon! Hi! How are you!?”

“Good, good,” I chuckle. “Are you guys close?”

“Yes we are, we’re about 10 minutes away. I miss you! You guys are still in the same apartment right?”

“You know it. Leah is not one to move more than she needs to.”

“Simon!” Nick yelled in the background.

“Nick says hi,” Abby confirmed.

“Everything is already set up, just waiting for you two crazy kids.”

“Prepare for a few drunken days, Si, it’s been awhile since either of us have been able to unwind!”

“She’s right!” Nick yelled again. “Stretch your liver, it’s going to get a work out.”

“Okay, okay, we’ll see you guys soon!”

“Byeeee!”

I go downstairs to see Leah and Ian chatting on the couch along with a few of Leah’s friends and some more theatre kids Ian brought with him.

“They’re almost here,” I announce.

“That means shots!” Ian shouts. “Last time they were here I made both of them puke and intend to do the same thing again!”

“I think they’ll actually be on board this time, I guess they’re been working hard and haven’t had a lot of time to unwind.”

“We’re about to change that!” Ian exclaims as he gets the other people in the apartment ready to play a drinking game in the kitchen. Leah and I are left in the living room with a few stragglers.

“Hey.” Leah said. “You okay?”

“Yeah, just a lot on my mind, ya know? School, proposal, things like that.”

“No…” she says, squinting her eyes. “That’s not all of it. What’s on your mind?”

“Nothing…I mean, I guess that Bram’s been a little busy and quiet on the talking front the last few days and I’m trying not to fall into old habits.”

Ugh. I hate myself sometimes. I know Bram is busy. He told me he would be busy, Bram’s Nick told me he’d be busy. I tend to get like this once or twice per semester and get over it after buzz texting Bram and talking it out with Leah (bless her heart). But I guess I’m more disappointed in myself that I’m letting past insecurities manifest.

“Come on, Si. You’re in the home stretch. Don’t retreat into the past, you’re moving forward with me.” Leah ordered.

She pulled me up and we headed into the kitchen to join the group for shots. Leah was right, I need to stop making assumptions. That was the old me. New me is positive and optimistic and…and misses Bram. Need alcohol to counteract these thoughts. Leah and her friends are talking about some boring Sociology professor when suddenly.

“Si!”

Abby and Nick were in the doorway with arms stretched out. These two will also counteract my thoughts. I downed my shot and ran over and hugged Abby who jumped into my arms and wrapped her legs around me like a spider monkey. It was her new college thing and it makes people like her. I squeeze her in our hug and I set her down as Nick ambles over and we hug, on the ground.

“Hey guys! How was the trip?” Leah asked.

“Good, but we need alcohol and Solo cups.” Abby said with a smile.

“We have the alcohol!” Nick shouted as he brought into what people colorly refer to as a ‘dirty thirty.’ For those who had better taste, a dirty thirty is a case of thirty swill water light beers and supply you with a health hangover the next day. That said, you can party longer because it’s mostly water.

“And we have the solo cups,” I finish Nick’s sentence.

“First game!” Ian shouts. “Le Burke, you and me against Simon and Abby!”

“You’re on!” Abby shouts as she pulls out some beers. The cups are filled as one does in a game of beer pong and the party begins.  However, Ian comes over with additional beers and adds more beer to our cups.

“Hey now,” Leah started. “We’re not all trying to get Ian drunk tonight, just a normal drunk.”

“This is our last year, we gotta live it up, take risks, make mistakes, and geeeeeetttt messy!”

Ian’s been watching the new Magic School Bus episodes on Netflix. The cups were now about two-thirds the way full as Ian crushed the cans and chucked them in the trash. Beer pong always makes me think of Bram and the Halloween Party. Why isn’t Bram texting me back? I know he’s busy but...too busy for me? No! Leah’s right I need to get out of my head.

As the game unfolds, I’m making none of my shots as the ping-pong ball bounces around on the floor.

“Simon, what’s wrong!? Get your head in the game, we’re getting our asses kicked.” Abby pleaded. We only had four cups left and they had nine.

“Sorry! I’m trying, I’m trying.”

“Losers take shots, Simon!” Ian shouts across the table, pointing his finger at me. “And you take a shot of our choice.

My eyes widen. “Oh god please no-”

Ian pulls a plastic pitcher out of the fridge. Leah puts her hand over her mouth in shock and because she felt nauseated. One night after a party about year ago, Ian thought it would be a fun idea to pool any leftover liquor into a sort of community chest of booze. Since then, various liquors have swirled around in that plastic pitcher and on random occasions it has been used as punishment to losers of drinking games.

“You still have that in there?” One of our theatre friends said laughing. “Oh no, Si,  you’re fucked!”

Abby turned to me with determination. “I’m not drinking from that pitcher.”

“Let’s step it up,” I reply, agreeing.

“No, you step it up, I’ve made all our shots!”

“Right, if we lose, I’ll take your shot.” I claim.

“You all hear that? That’s a verbal contract,” Abby shouts. I smile at here and notice Nick isn’t in the kitchen. I peak my head around the corner and see him in our living room (Ian’s bedroom) talking to a group of Leah’s friends. It’s strange, but we are playing a game in here so I suppose he got bored and left to mingle.

After drinking two beers, leaving us with only two cups left, I scored my first cup with a bounce.

“Yes!” Abby shouts as we high five. “That’s two and we get the ball back!”

“Good job, Spier! Finally good to see you woke up and joined the game!” Ian yells playfully. Leah, however, is not a nice as she knows what is on my mind and is pinching her eyes at me from across the table. She turns it off before Abby can notice and sips her beer.

“Re-rack!” I shout. “Diamond and one cup in front.”

“We got this.” Abby whispered as Ian and Leah arranged the cups per our request.

“We got this.” I reply.

We didn’t have it. I missed my shot and Ian and Leah both made their shots into the cups. And now I have to take two shots from the mystery pitcher as Abby Snapchats me doing so. Bram will probably see this and text me, right?

“Just think of it as a Long Island…but literally no coke, just pure alcohol.” Ian gloated.

First one down the hatch.

Uuuggghhhhhhhhh! What is that taste?! My face must have shown what my words didn’t because Ian, Leah, and Abby all laughed at my misery.

“Maybe one is enough,” Leah suggested, seeing my face, knowing my thoughts, and seeing where this could go.

“No way, verbal contract, Simon has too.” Ian defended.

I breathe in deeply and shoot the second down my throat. God! Is that industrial cleaner?! I put the shot class down and breathe through my mouth so I don’t taste the terrible flavor of old vodka, tequila, rum, and whatever the hell else is in that pitcher. The next game starts and we all go into the living room to sit and chat. Nick rejoins us as the people he was talking to followed their friends into the kitchen to watch the game.

“Simon, how are you? Why does it feel so long since we’ve talked? We saw each other last month!” Nick starts, clapping his hand on my shoulder.

The booze has started to take its swimming affect on my head.

“I know! It’s only been a month, but it’s felt much longer. I don’t know, we must just miss each other cause we’re good friends.” I say smiling and throwing my arm around his shoulder.

“That’s it.” Nick said, poking my chest with this finger.

Leah, Abby, and Ian were catching up just across the coffee table on the couch and I realized I haven’t told them about my proposal. I stand up.

“Hey, Abby, Nick, I have something to tell you guys.”

“You’re not going to break into another drunken monologue from a show, are you?” Nick says. “I mean, I love you, Si, but I don’t know if we’re drunk enough for that.” Leah and Abby laugh.

“No! I’m not drunk enough for that either. But no, I have something I want to tell you guys. I have decided…”

I pull out my phone and see no new notifications.

“Decided what?” Abby asks, snapping my attention back.

“Sorry, I have decided to propose to Bram.”

A scream louder than time emanates from Abby’s vocal cords as we all wait for it to be over and then she jumps up and down and back into my arms. People from the kitchen poke their head into the room to see if everything is okay and I give them a thumbs up. Nick is standing a smiling his wide Nick smile, all teeth. As soon as Abby releases me from her hug, Nick comes in and hugs me too.

“That’s amazing, Si. You and Bram are perfect together.” Nick says, sipping his beer.

“He’s so right!” Abby adds. “You two have been the gold standard of relationships since high school!”

“What about you two? You and Nick have dated as long as Bram and I have! If anything we’ve learned from each other.”

Abby pressed her lips and swallowed her smile. Her eyes looked at Nick who looked to the weathered carpet as his thumb flicked the lip of the solo cup. Leah’s eyes pursed as her eyebrows fell towards her ears, fearing for the worst. It was quiet for a bit as all of us stared at one another until I broke the silence.

“Did…did you guys break up?” I asked in a raspy voice.

Nick inhaled and took Abby’s hand. She shook her head and then her standard Abby smile returned.

“We did.”

My mind did back flips. How? Why? The only other couple that I’ve known my age to last as long as Bram and I did is ending? If they could end, can Bram and I end? Will he say no if I propose?

“You’re smiling?” Leah asked, eyebrow cocked. Her statement snapped me out of my thoughts and onto Nick and Abby who were, indeed, smiling.

“Yes,” Abby started. “Look, we would have told you sooner…but we didn’t want to send anyone into a panic.”

“You mean send Simon into a panic,” Leah corrected.

“Maybe.”

“But what happened?” I asked, drunkenly curious even though it was technically none of my business.

“Nothing really happened, Si.” Nick started. “It’s not like I cheated or she cheated or it was some big spectacle. It’s hard to explain, but it was a completely amicable and positive…finale to the romantic part of our relationship. Finales aren’t a bad thing, Si. Our relationship as friends and everything we shared during our time together isn’t gone, we’re not going anywhere from any of you, we’re not dividing up the friend group. Nothing’s changing.”

“He’s right, Si. Finale is the best way to say it. Now it’s on for another beginning for both of us.” Abby added.

“But I still don’t understand.” I utter, unable to be satisfied with the answer.

Nick was about to say something and stopped when Abby place her hand on his knee.

“Simon, we know how you are. And another reason we were waiting to tell you is because of how you’d react. The story is simple. We both realized one day that we were living the parts of being a couple and enjoyed it, but it lacked the…drive and depth of a relationship. When you’re surrounded by people who are good at being in a relationship and you see all the love and little quirks and dumb things and inside jokes but don’t see any of that in your own relationship, it raised red flags. Then when we thought about it and talked about it and it was like our relationship was on autopilot. We realized we love each other, but not in the romantic way we once felt.”

How long are Bram and I going to be together before he feels this way? When will he look at other people’s relationships, other boys and see himself happier and more alive with them? If Abby and Nick couldn’t make the cut, could Bram and I?

Abby knocked on the side of my head kinda hard because she was becoming irritated.

“Simon, don’t you for one second try to compare your relationship with Bram to ours.” She said pointing at me. “You weren’t inside of this relationship, you didn’t see it when it was just me and Nick, so there is no way you can compare it. Promise me right now, Simon.”

I stared at her, wiping beer from corner of my mouth.

“Promise me!” She shouted.

“Promise,” I comply. I do partially believe her. It doesn’t help all the way, but it helps a little.

“Told ya, Bram was ri…oh shit.” Nick started, and caught himself when it was too late. Abby slapped Nick’s knee and her bugged eyes stared lasers that burned through Nick’s skull.

“Wait, Bram knew you two broke up?” I question. Nick placed his head on his hand. “For how long?”

Abby stood up. “I need another beer.” She walked to the kitchen, leaving Nick in the mess he made.

“Okay, Si, you have to promise me you can’t get mad. We called Bram last month when it happened because we didn’t know who else to talk to about it who knew both of us so well. We wanted to tell you, dude, we did, but we know how you get and didn’t want to upset you.”

“Why wouldn’t Bram tell me?” I ask out loud, sipping my beer.

“Because we made him promise not to tell you, Simon, you can’t be mad at him. He promised his friends and you know how hard Bram takes promises. When he saw us he could tell-”

“He visited you in New York?”

Nick mouthed the word ‘fuck.’ Is that why he hasn’t been texting me much lately? Because if he can’t talk to me, he can’t lie to me? Our conversations have been light and fluffy, both on the phone and texting when we can. What else could he not be telling me then? Do I know Bram?

“Nick, go get a beer and send Ian’s ass in here,” Leah ordered, moving to the coffee table to sit directly in front of me. “If you don’t get out of your head right now about this Simon, you’re going to regret it.”

“Yeah, but-“

“No, Simon, no buts. You love Bram Greenfeld, he loves you, and the only thing he’s guilty of is being a good friend. If you needed him here, he would drop everything in a second and by any means come to your side. He is stupidly, grossly, uncontrollably in love with you. I hate to say this to you, Simon, because you’ve been so good about it lately, but don’t Spier this up.”

Ian walked in and could see the stern looks on our faces and his demeanor changed from one of partying to one of concern.

“Hey, guys, everything…good?”

“Talk some sense into him,” Leah said, “I need a refill.”

Leah never left unless she was upset. I know I may be drunk and I know I may be irrational because I’m drunk, but am I being that irrational? I don’t think it’s unfair to bring up the topic, for example, that Nick and Abby a least lived in the same city as each other. Did I not try enough to get into Baltimore? Did Bram not try hard enough to get into Yale?

“Abbs and Nick told me just now, that sucks man, but they seem happy so that’s what’s important, right?”

He was right. I close my eyes and throw my head on my hands.

“I’m being selfish, aren’t I?”

“No, no, no, dude, I totally understand. It’s natural to have these feelings, especially when you’re about to propose to your boyfriend.” He responded warmly. “But Bram is Bram, Nick is Nick, and Abby is crazy loud. Just cause they’re relationship didn’t work out doesn’t mean yours wont.”

I look up at him. His eyes appear unnaturally emerald. He smiles and lifts his eyebrows.

“You are welcome to feel about it how you want, but remember they need you here for them as well. And they came here to party and visit you. And Le Burke of course. They drove from the greatest city in the world to Connecticut to spend the weekend with you. Let’s show them a good time.”

Ian tapped and squeezed my knee…and a familiar…warmth…overcame me.

“Bucker up Buttercup and let’s rematch Le Burke’s ‘Sosh’ friends and show them how overly complicated actors can kick their butts at pong!”

He pulled me up with him and his bicep pressed against his t-shirt cuff in an impressive, masculine manner.

“Yeah, I’ll be in there in a minute. Thanks, dude.”

“Of course, Si. You got this man. You are so close to the finish line, focus on the prize.” He smiled, downed the rest of his beer, and winked at me with a follow up finger gun.

My head felt like it was floating as I found it bopping to the beat of the music.

Bzzz.

Bram Hi Si, I’m sorry I’ve been so busy lately. Nick told me he let it slip that him and Abby broke up. I’m so sorry, I wanted so badly to tell you, but I promised I wouldn’t. You understand, right?

I did understand, but my drunk mind was also upset that he couldn’t trust me with the information either. Was my drunk brain right? Probably not, but right now I couldn’t help but let that side of me take over. Mystery Pitcher was winning.

                                                                                                              I do

. .. … Si, I know you’re not okay with it. I wish I could do something to make you feel better. Please understand your trust means everything to me. I love you <<33 And your big heart.

How dare he. How dare he do that to me right now. How dare he make me love him when I’m trying to be mad at him.  How dare it kind of work.

I know it deos, and I do turst you.

“Si?” Ian peaked his head in. “Off your phone and out of your head and on this game of pong!” Ian’s head disappears.

My phone buzzes again, but I don’t look at it. If I talk to Bram more I will get over it and I want to be mad at him for a little longer. Irrational? Yes, but since when have I been a totally rational guy?

We lose that game too, much to Ian’s drunken and slurry shouts. I am to the point of being drunk where I can say I know I’m drunk and I tell that to myself. I also notice more of Ian’s arms and chest and has his butt always looked like that?

“Oh, wow. I’m drunk.” I say out loud. Ian looks over at me and laughs and I notice his hazel eyes, the kind of hazel when leaves are green-brown in the fall.

“That’s my cue,” Leah cuts in. “Off to bed, Si-Si.” She easily pulls my arm and sets my drink down while she leads me to my bedroom. She gets me into bed and I have been quiet the entire time.

“Am I a bad friend?” I ask in drunken honesty.

“No, Simon, you’re a great friend. We just…do certain things because we know that you are sensitive.”

“So I’m a bad friend.” I conclude. “You guys can’t even trust me with basic information about other friends. That doesn’t sound like a good friend.”

“Si, that has no correlation with being a bad friend. We all know each other’s…issues and know how to respond accordingly. I’d say you’d have to be a great friend for your friends care and do that for you.”

“Am I a bad boyfriend?” I ask, teary-eyed.

“Simon Jacob…no. You’ll feel better tomorrow. Water is on your night stand. Sleep.” Leah kisses my forehead and lets herself out. I stare at my Elliot Smith poster and think of Bram. I close my eyes.

I open my eyes ant sit up in bed to check my phone. I must have only fallen asleep for a few minutes because I still hear the noise of the party. I text Ian.

                                                                             Can you come to my room?

. .. … Yeah! Be up in a sec.

I hear him softly open the door and Drake flowed in. He shut it behind him and Drake returned to being muffled. I personally like hearing Drake muffled.  I feel him sit on my bed near my chest.

“What’s up? Everything okay?”

I sit up on my elbow and look at him.

“Yeah, just feel a little embarrassed.”

“Embarrassed why?”

“I feel like I let you down.”

“Dude, how? Here, have some water.”

Ian leans over to grab the glass and I couldn’t help myself. I kissed him. It felt weird, but it felt like a good kiss. He pulled back, shocked and breathing hard. I stared at his eyes and he stared back until he came in and kissed me back, pulling my head towards his, pressing our lips against each other.

I jerked awake in my bed and ripped the covers off my body to find it was morning. I ran out of my room and stomped down the stairs to see Ian sleeping on the couch, leg hanging out from under the sheet, mouth open, but not snoring. I shake him.

“Ian, Ian!”

He groggily opens his eyes in a confused manner.

“Wha-What? What’s wrong dude, is everything okay?”

“Did we kiss last night?!” I whisper scream.

“What?” he said in a more awake, but more confused tone.

“Did we kiss last night??”

“Dude, no, gross,” he said, a weight felt lifted off my chest. “You were pretty far gone and passed right out after we lost the game. Then Le Burke and I played and kicked ass again and I passed out here. Ask her yourself.” He tilted his head up at the stairs and I turned to see Leah, arms crossed, in her white, fluffy robe. I stand up from the couch and Ian almost immediately falls back asleep.

I remember then Bram texted drunk-me last night and drunk-me never read it because drunk-me is fucking idiot.

Bram You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy, when skies are grey. You’ll never know, Si, how much I love you, so please don’t take my sunshine away.

My lip trembles and I can’t help but cry in the middle of the living room. Leah comes over and hugs the side of me as the sun cuts through our living room curtain and paints golden light on my chest.

[livingwithashipname-blog]

Ermanda's Inner Sanctum: Scorpion 3.17 "Dirty Seeds, Done Dirt Cheap"

This is a really great episode!  It is all about the cyclone.  Ray comes back to troll Cabe in his hallucination.  Happy keeps breaking our hearts.  Toby kills us with his fluffy, romantic self.  Young Happy and Toby will be with us forever!  Ralph is a darling!  Walter and Paige amuse me to no end.  Callie makes me smile!  And Sly makes me wish I lived in West Altadenia so I could vote for him.  He throws down the gauntlet and I am so proud him!  As great as the episode is, it is a victim of “too many elements” and some great dialogue is cut that would have melted us even more if we weren’t at that point already!  There are so many things to discuss!  It all centers around the episode’s core message on the relationship between logic and fear.  Let’s get to it!

Waige: Toby and Ralph

The episode’s theme is first explained through Ralph’s conversation to Toby about Walter and his mother in the midst of his history lesson.  Ralph sounds like hallucinatory Walter from 3.03 It Isn’t the Fall that Kills You.  He knows the logical plan is for Walter to ask Paige out, but that didn’t happen.  He hopes that Walter’s ability to use logic to beat a fear of snakes can extend to his fear to romantically pursue Paige.  Toby explains that this is a possibility, but concludes that Walter and Paige are likely going to remain friends.  I suspect Toby comes to this conclusion given everything that has happened between Walter and Paige since she started dating Tim.  Walter would need a bold, respectable move to change the course of events.  Even Veronica, with her wacky plan, tells Walter that he has to think of something because Tim is “planting roots.”  Toby is doubtful that Walter is capable of working past that fear and coming out successful.  The last time Walter tried he hurt Paige in the process.  Toby is also aware that this is in addition to a series of opportunities that we’ve seen as the audience since season 1.  So his statements to Ralph are likely said to protect him.  This is unfortunate but understandable.  

So Ralph seems to be the only person actively captaining the Waige ship right now because they feel like Toby or are busy invested in their personal relationships.  Let’s all give a collective “Aw!”  On another note, I am laughing out loud at the visual in my head thinking about this because I am a Deadliest Catch fan.  I have this vision of Ralph driving one of those crab boats, named Waige, in inclement weather! 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Paige’s Internal Conflict

The secret is out!  Walter is on an apology tour.  The team is all like, “say what now?”  Kudos are given to Paige for getting Walter to do something that, in Happy’s words, is a sign of the apocalypse.  Lol!  This is good news since Walter and Paige have renewed their friendship.  They are spending time together like they have in the past.  And it seems as if this has inspired Walter to jump onto an accelerated path to improvement.  

Paige is in mother mode when it comes to the froyo.  No desserts before lunch children! 😂😂😂😂  As she places the items in the fridge, Toby approaches, or shall I say scares her, to commend her on the adjustments she has made with Walter.  But before he speaks, she assumes that Toby is coming to tell her something about Walter and her spending more time together.  She is mildly surprised when he doesn’t say that.  Yet, we all can see that Toby is also trying to butter her up to get his froyo!  😂😂😂😂

This exchange with Toby is another depiction of Paige’s hesitations that started in season 2 but are more apparent in season 3.  The most notable examples are 3.01 Civil War with Tim, 3.05 Plight at the Museum with Toby, 3.14 The Hole Truth with her mother, Veronica Dineen, and this episode with her own mind’s manifestations.  These moments highlight the episode’s theme, but the main component of that message is choice.  Walter has his emotional struggles, but some of his difficulties this season stem from his choice to ignore that which he already knows (e.g., episode 3.14).  Paige’s hesitations expose an internal conflict with her own choices.

I think it is interesting that Paige’s short hallucination is an image of Walter with another woman.  Isn’t this the first reason why she starts a relationship with Tim?!  Allow me to recall events that lead  into the Walter/Linda and Paige/Tim rooftop scenes of 2.22 Hard Knox.  Walter takes Paige’s advice to put himself out there and make new friends.  This manifests into speed dating as a social experiment and eventually dating Linda.  Paige doesn’t anticipate that Walter would take her advice in this manner.  Tim comes as a Homeland trainee assigned to Scorpion detail.  Paige spends time with him, but their relationship does not become official until that moment on the roof.  Walter breaks up with Linda after Toby reveals to him that her infatuation with him is a result of “damsel-in-distress syndrome.”  At the same time, Tim asks Paige out on an official date.  Before Paige answers, she looks at Walter and sees him sharing a laugh with Linda, which doesn’t look like a amicable breakup to her even though the audience knows otherwise.  The disappointment is shown in her facial expression.  She turns to Tim and accepts his request.  This link is about to come full circle.  If you have been following my reviews, then you are aware of the pattern that is unfolding.  If this episode on its own doesn’t give you a big hint about what is next for Waige, you must be sleeping!  THE WAIGE FLIP IS ON FIRE!!! 🔥🔥🔥 THESE ASSOCIATIONS GIVE ME LIFE! 🙌🏾🙌🏾 WAIGE IS ENDGAME YO! 💙💙💙💙

Immediately thought of this song!  I think it is fitting! 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Logic vs. Fear feat. The Cyclone

Cabe/Callie

Cabe: I don’t want to play this game.  Ray: Well, nobody does, but we all have to play it eventually, even badass, ex-football-playing Marines.

Cabe enjoys Allie’s company.  Their relationship is getting off to a great start, but he still feels uneasy about their age difference.  In addition, he really feels his age when he considers that he uses reading glasses.  He’s so insecure about these things that they mostly have dinner dates at places that match her vegan interests, Cabe supplements the loss of meat with beef jerky, and he accidentally orders unfavorable meals because he can not read the menu without his glasses.  (Side note: I am glad that Allie’s veganism is pushing Cabe to eat better because he was inching himself close to an MI with those meat-filled sandwiches he would make for Happy. Lol!)  So it is no surprise that his hallucination is a short version of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. 😂😂😂😂 He fears that his age will make him unwanted because he can’t keep up with the younger generation.  He is already a father figure to the team and multiple times the team has reminded him of his age when he drops pre-1980s pop culture references.  He has already felt the pressures of his age with Tim as a younger version of him and Walter’s speech in 3.12 Ice Ca-Cabes on how everyone is replaceable.

During his hallucination, Walter manages to get his attention by reminding him that his fear is not aging.  He fears weakness.  His age gives him a unique advantage and his headstrong personality pushes him to do anything he desires!  In result, Cabe mobilizes himself, drops the white hair and the age spots, puts on his signature glasses and flips the breaker!  The glasses bit is GOLD!!!  Reminds me of Horatio Cane from CSI: Miami and his sunglasses.

His path to enlightenment doesn’t stop in the vault.  When he sees Allie again at Sly’s debate, he asks her to accept him as he is.  Allie confirms that she is all in.  What a great win for Cabe! 

Sylvester & the W. Altadenia Alderman Election 

Patel: The matter at hand is taking private property to help, not the populace, but a big box store.  The kind of store grown-ups go to.  Sly: Yes.  I patronize the Warlock’s Chest.  I had a tough childhood, I was picked on.  Make-believe was my refuge.  I found solace amongst the fantasy and I would gather up my courage to face another day.  And trust me, when I was a kid, I needed courage just to show up at school.  And I need it now for my job.  But the difference is, with Scorpion, I have a team to help me remember that I can be brave.  And if the Warlock’s Chest will provide refuge for more kids who don’t know they’re brave yet, well… I want it to stick around.

Sylvester is really coming into his own as a politician looking to achieve the greater good for his county.  The chickens in his hallucination are both literal and metaphorical representations of a childhood memory.  Sly is a world class ornithologist, but he is terrified of birds (mentioned in 2.24 Toby or Not Toby).  This is why he asks Cabe to handle to falcon during the mission in 3.05 Plight at the Museum.  Sly is also a germaphobe and chickens have been known to spread disease.  Furthermore, the label “chicken” is thrown at those who fear confrontation.  Sly was bullied as a child and relives the fear of that moment when Bucky Hanson and other jocks locked him in a chicken pen.  But Sly is a man of facts.  Facts are his life!  When Paige reminds him of all the brave things he has accomplished with Team Scorpion, he comes out of hiding, moves his bully to the side, and moves a chicken out of the way to pull the lever.  Go Sly go!!!  The way he screams from the time he lifts the chicken to when he drops it is HILARIOUS!!!  At the debate, he applies the same lesson and creams Patel!  Sly is getting more people on his side each time he shows his courage.  His courage is giving him a voice and I love that we are seeing this unfold in Sly’s story this season! 

Walter & the Emotional Conundrum 

Walter: I don’t know how to talk someone out of being scared.  I can’t relate to that kind of emotion.  Paige: Really?  'Cause you seem pretty scared now.  Your biggest fear isn’t snakes, was it?  It’s problems you can’t solve.  Now do what you did with the yogurt guy, and put yourself in Cabe’s shoes.

This episodes features another moment where Walter uses what he knows in order to find a way to relate to emotions.  He just needs a push.  Holy character development!  As I have said in past reviews, he has the tools.  He just needs to unlock them when the time comes.  Therefore, it is possible that Walter can independently do this in some instances, gaining more experience each time he does it.  This links to what he says to Cabe about his age giving him knowledge, wisdom, and experience.  In that moment, he uses the feeling of powerless in encountering problems he can not solve with Cabe’s fear of weakness.  He has done the same in previous episodes (e.g., episode 3.14).  

His doubt in this moment also parallels Happy and her judgment of her own emotional capabilities and expectations.  One can say that this extends to Sly and Cabe too (when they’re not hallucinating), but here’s the difference.  When Cabe and Sly finally do something they thought they couldn’t, they do not doubt it later.  They recognize the change and use it to their benefit.  For example, Sly jumps off a boat in 1.16 Love Boat, which is something he never anticipated doing in his lifetime.  He was fearful, but he mobilizes himself and succeeds.  He does this again in 3.04 Little Boy Lost when he climbs over the silo’s railing to jump on canisters to pull Walter and Daniel to safety.  In the second scenario, Sly doesn’t say that he can’t do it.  He just whines a little about it and puts himself into action to save the day.  

Walter and Happy’s doubt have caused them to question pivotal moments in their lives.  This has affected their romances.  Walter walks away from the Tahoe situation, but Cabe gives him hope that self-improvement will give him a fighting chance if the opportunity to win Paige arises again.  He has struggled in this endeavor, but he is now gaining new ground.  For Happy, doubt is evident in her hallucination, which continues off of her development arc from 3.15 Sharknerdo and 3.16 Keep It in Check, Mate.

Happy & the Abandonment Saga

Dr. Curtis: I’m not sure about this.  You know, if I commit to her, I’m stuck with her for the rest of my life?  There’s got to be something wrong with her if she’s here, right?  Hallucinatory Happy: I try hard.  I’m just a little bit different from the other kids.  Dr. C: Well, I’m not so sure this will be the right fit.  HH: No, you promised to be with me for life.  You proposed to me.  Dr. C: Quick to anger.  Volatile.  I think I’d regret this decision.  Sorry, I… I don’t want her.  Not for me. […] HH: But I’m perfect for you.

This version of Toby is rigid and noncommittal.  Happy is envisioning Toby as a man who uses psychological logic to reject her for her differences.  THIS IS THE ANTITHESIS OF THEIR ENTIRE RELATIONSHIP!!!  Happy has experienced a lot of rejection.  Her father’s recent imprisonment feels like another wave of abandonment.  Yet, she finds happiness in her relationship with Toby.  When he accidentally flakes on a promise, Toby asks for second chance.  Happy gives it to him even though it took some time.  He consistently loves her despite her faults.  Happy notices that Toby is a chance at family and marrying him represents stability which he has never experienced with others.  She may be the world’s unfunniest person, but she makes Toby want to be a better man.  And she acknowledges that they are perfect for one another!  In essence, her doubts are like pre-wedding jitters that are projected onto Toby in this hallucination.  The realities of their relationship continue to manifest in Toby’s words to her through young Toby.  In the end, her dreams match reality.  Just… just call the morgue already!  I AM DEAD OVER ALL THE FEELS!!! 💕💚💚😍😍😍💀

Dannii (aka. @tobiasmquinn​) questioned Dr. Curtis’ outfit in Happy’s hallucination.  I first get Dr. Rizzuto vibes from the wardrobe, but the mannerisms of these two men do not correlate.  Dr. Rizzuto is witty and charismatic.  So I think the wardrobe is fashioned after Sigmund Freud who has several images of himself holding a cigar.  Plus, Toby dresses as a famous psychiatrist from the past each Halloween.

Drabbles…

Callie is killing me with their cuteness!

Can we take a moment to freak out over the open Quintis PDA in front of the team?! Happy has her legs crossed over Toby’s leg and Toby is resting his arm on them! 😍😍😍😍🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾

Scorpion trivia: The words “not good” are said by Happy in every episode.  Now Toby is the one to deliver it… love it!!!  More Toby being Happy! 🙌🏾

Happy (to Cabe): You don’t need to warn me about getting lost in a blizzard.  Been there, done that. 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Sly: Back away, hens.  I will deep-fry the lot of you. 😂😂😂😂😂😂

I died with Ray’s appearance in Cabe’s hallucination! That was perfect!

Have you seen the titles on the game show wheel from Cabe’s hallucination?!  They are hilarious!  Kudos to the art department!

Young Toby/Toby: You know who I am, and my biggest regret in life is that we really didn’t meet when we were eight because I would’ve fallen in love with you from that moment.  The truth is you’ve never been alone.  My love for you has always been there.  It just took a while for our paths to cross so I could share it with you.  And under all those neurotoxins in your head, you know I’m right.  You have nothing to be scared of, ever. 💚💚💚💚💚💚😍😍😍😍😍😍 *swoons forever*

The mother/son moments between Ralph and Paige in this episode are so sweet!  I love them! 💜💜💜💜

Walter: You are a military man, a government agent, someone who is strong for their friends, but when you fear weakness, you feel that you’ll lose your identity because of it, and the people that you care about, like Allie.  Is that right?  Cabe?  Cabe: God?  Is that you? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Walter: That’s because I’m worried about you, but I shouldn’t be because getting old is not a detriment.  It is a strength.  Now, with age, comes experience, knowledge, and wisdom.  What you’ve forgotten, others will never know.  Now what you’ve lived, others will only read about.  What you can do, others can only dream about.  Cabe Gallo is stopped by nothing.  Me: I’m not crying, you are! 😭😭😭😭😭👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾

Paige using her phone to grind the seeds… 😂😂😂 Total “make it work” moment! 👏🏾👏🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾

That fire is really pretty!  Excuse me, I was a chem major!  Lol!  But let’s clear up something here.  Oxygen is not flammable!  It’s not a fuel.  Toby states this as a potential danger in the episode.  The process that creates the fire is described correctly, but the designation is incorrect.  It’s a misnomer.  Probably done to save time considering that this moment is happening close to the 50 minute mark.  Plus, it is easier to communicate the danger of adding oxygen to a flame by making such a statement to a general audience who may not know this.  I know, I know… kinda weird for a show about geniuses, but everyone who watches this show isn’t.  

My only disappointments: 1) We didn’t see Riley Go as Young Happy in the middle of Happy’s hallucination.  2) Funky age moment… if Happy is technically 29 going on 30 now, then she should be 12 going on 13 in the year 2000.  However, she says she is 8 and Toby doesn’t make that adjustment because it’s not insinuated by his statement, “we just exited the 90s.”  The year (1996) was right in the sides.  Maybe this is done to save time or Toby made his statements to account for all the years Happy had been rejected for adoption.  3) I wish young Toby moved more in the scene to be a little more animated like adult Toby.  4) The line, “I know you’ll never let go,” was cut from the end scene.  I thought it was perfect and I am disappointed it ended up on the cutting room floor.  Maybe it was taken out because of time or because of what’s to come for Quintis in the season finale storyline.

Last edited: February 22, 2017