#starship Ragamuffin

[the-good-ship-ragamuffin]

Captains log, day 108. Deckhand Paisley is using the drinking water to bathe. Threw in brig. Third offense. Starship Ragamuffin has traveled 3.5 light-years from the Aurora Nebula and will dock at Andromeda 5 in three weeks, if crew does not mutiny first

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #547

Top Ten Small Spaceships

Welcome back to Pappa Heslop’s Two-Part Spaceship Rundown! I promise never to refer to myself as “Pappa Heslop” again!

Yes, after last week’s ranking of big-ass starships, motherships, and sentient ships from Hell, I'm downsizing. Today we're looking at smaller ships. One-man fighters, dinky UFOs, or even vessels that can carry a limited crew but aren’t, y’know , super-spacious. This one was a bit harder, not just because big ships seem more prevalent, but because I struggled a bit to define the line. Is Starbug big or small? What about Serenity? Or even the Falcon?

Truth be told though the biggest problem I had was Star Wars shaped. Quite frankly I wanted to put about half a dozen SW ships on here. The Naboo fighters, the funny-looking B-Wing, the Razor Crest, Dooku’s solar sailor... Tons! But then it just becomes a Star Wars fest and I wanted to avoid that, so I limited myself to two. Well, three. I cheated.

Anyway, that's it for now. Just get reading.

The Millennium Falcon (Star Wars, 1977): I'm sorry to be so basic but what else could it be? It's a beautiful ship, instantly iconic, a character into itself, but it's also, in a way, every other ship on this list. Ragamuffin cobbled-together working class ship populated by cheeky scoundrels with hearts of gold? That's pretty much everything.

Starbug (Red Dwarf, 1989): I love its filthy industrial interior, how great the set design is for a cramped shuttle that's also a sitcom set. But it's the iconic exterior, the series of growing green bubbles, that wins the spot; part spaceship, part dirty green snowman laying on his side.

Shuttlepods (Star Trek: The Next Generation, 1987): it was a toss-up between this and the Defiant, but I've always loved the minimalist design of the shuttles. Tiny little wedge things with dinky nacelles, like a space hatchback or a piece of cheese. They're just so cute!

Cosmos (The Transformers, 1985): oh Cosmos! I love you so! Making a reappearance after having his alt-mode praised a few weeks ago, he's back with his gorgeous little stumpy UFO design. He's just a beautiful green flying saucer with a round red head and I love him.

X-Wing/TIE Fighter (Star Wars, 1977): once more I cheat but these two are inseparable. Simultaneously conveying the jerry-built nature of the Rebels and the brutalist factory line efficiency of the Empire, they also have truly unique and era-defining quirks (S-foils, ion engines) and fantastic sound design.

The Normandy (Mass Effect, 2007): I love the design of the ship, partly evoking TNG but also – for me – echoing the edges of 80s car design, a vision of the future dreamed up in the past. Maybe I'm alone in that. Anyway, it's really the interior that matters, as you get to run around your own ship, corridors leading to offices and cargo holds, a pilot you can bark orders to. It's totally great.

The *batteries not included aliens (*batteries not included, 1987): do these count as ships if they’re really living beings? Who knows? So was Cosmos, although he could theoretically carry people inside him (steady). Anyway, these are adorable mini-UFOs who tug on our heartstrings and make everyone's lives better. So they count, dammit.

The Benatar (Avengers: Infinity War, 2018): some people prefer the Milano, the Star Lord’s original ship, but not me. I like this one’s design, inside and out, and its massive tiered cockpit that lets everyone see out. Plus it comes with a big mining pod thing that can fly off on its own.

Serenity (Firefly, 2002): another big loveable junker peopled by loveable jerks. Great swan neck style design leading up to the bridge, with massive industrial engines. I feel a bit less affinity for the brand than I used to but it's still a great ship design.

Banshees (Halo: Combat Evolved, 2001): these are right at the bottom only because I'm not 100% certain they’re real space ships. I think they can go into space, but you'd better be in your suit because your arse is sticking out the back end. Still, what a great design; chromium neon people aesthetic, organic curves, tiny wings, pink lasers... Truly beautiful.

[blogofeggspast]

How dare you, you snazzernoff?!! You ragamuffin! You floofy, diabolical starship - plotting evil inside your egg noggin!?! How dare? HOW DARE?!?!?! Keep your tol, time traveling two-for-one villainous shenanigans away from my diddlybobs! >:0

*confusion*

[astudyinimagination]

Star-Crossed, Episode I: A New Path (a.k.a. Sherlock Holmes becomes a Jedi)

First chapter proper to Starlock fic. Um... if anybody is reading this at all... I’d love to hear what you think!`

==Part I: The Prodigy==

"My mind rebels at stagnation. Give me problems, give me work, give me the most abstruse cryptogram or the most intricate analysis, and I am in my own proper atmosphere." — Sherlock Holmes, The Sign of the Four

Chapter 1: The Amateur Jedi

"The Force is unusually strong with him; that much is clear." — Qui-Gon Jinn, The Phantom Menace

For as long as he could remember, there had been the Force. Not that he knew it was called that, not for a long time. But there had always been a hum at the back of his mind, a hum that grew louder when he tried to poke and prod at it. He could react faster than other children, he could understand what other people were thinking in a way that had nothing to do with reading them like Mom had done, and sometimes, he knew what was going to happen before it happened.

Based on the stories he had heard the spacers tell, Sherlock Holmes could only conclude that he was a Jedi.

His research on the HoloNet had turned up little useful information, mostly stories about Jedi in the Republic. The stories didn't tell him why he had these abilities or how to use them, so he had to figure it out for himself. He eventually discovered that, if he concentrated very hard, he could know things simply by silently asking a question and thinking about it.

He also discovered that he had flashes of daydreams—and sometimes dreams at night, too—that came true later.

He only ever told Grandmother about it. "I knew you were meant for something special," she murmured, touching his face. "The first freeborn child in our family in generations—how could you not be?"

"I can use this," he told her excitedly. "I mean, if I can ever find another Jedi, and get them to teach me how to use my abilities, I can help in the revolution! I can be its Jedi weapon." When he was old enough to keep secrets, Mom had told him about the coming slave revolution, and how she and Dad worked towards it. Now that�� that they were… gone… it was what he lived for—to free his people someday, so that tragedies such as what had happened to his parents never happened again. If the Masters were overthrown, thugs like the ones who killed his parents wouldn't dare try to hurt innocent people anymore.

Of course, he had to survive to adulthood, first. On the streets, that was easier said than done. Some nights, he spent at Grandmother's, but he couldn't fall back on her often or her master would take notice. Most nights, he spent on the streets wherever he could find a safe spot, and the streets of Mos Espa were teeming with the dregs of galactic society. Very few children roamed the town freely without being snapped up by slavers or beings willing to turn children over to slavers for a little extra cash.

At least the various slave families around town were willing to share what little food they had, every once in a while, though most of his meals were ill-gotten. Mom and Dad had taught him better morals than that, and he fully intended to live by that code once he'd survived long enough to do so.

The past two years of being on his own… they weren't living. He had friends, he had family, but it wasn't a good life, and he had a sneaking suspicion that he might have to try to get offworld to find a better one. If he did, he would come back someday and help free the slaves. Of course, he would. They were his people, and he owed them.

Things would be so much easier if he could find another Jedi.

Every now and then, he felt the presence of another being like him, one who felt a little brighter than other people did. But tracking these beings down never led to anything productive: without fail, none of them were real Jedi. Of course, the Jedi Knights worked in the Republic, and rarely came all the way out here. But it didn't stop him from hoping, and trying to find someone.

He was eleven when it happened.

It was the day of the Boonta Eve Classic podrace, and he and some of his friends were planning on pickpocketing in the crowd. He had just entered the stadium when he felt it.

Two presences so bright that they blazed with the light of the twin suns.

Jedi!

Somewhere in the masses of hundreds of thousands of beings was a someone who was powerful in the Force. Sherlock began to wander the stands, hoping that he was on the same side of the track as the Jedi—getting across the track during a race would be difficult and deadly. More than one fool had met their Maker that way.

At last, he felt himself drawing nearer to one of the Jedi, and turned his focus from the hum in his mind to his vision. He saw the usual infinite variety of beings who usually attended the podraces… only… ah…

The being was of a species Sherlock had never encountered before: short, stocky, and furry, with a long snout for a face, large eyes, and a long mane braided neatly. While the people around them chatted with each other or watched the video feeds of the race, this being was talking into a comlink, though Sherlock could not understand what they were saying from where he stood. But that was one of the Jedi, he was sure of it. He felt a rightness to it as he watched the small being.

How, then, should he introduce himself? He couldn't just walk up to the being and say, "Hi, sir, my name is Sherlock Holmes and I want to be a real Jedi."

Jedi Master Kenit Nusep found himself repeatedly distracted and needing his former Padawan to repeat herself over the comm. "I'm sorry, Kytti; I sense… something… and I'm not sure what."

"Danger?"

"No, not danger, but… something. A disturbance in the Force. Be alert, young one."

"Yes, Master."

The next moment, he felt the pouch on his belt move, and his hand shot down to stop the person responsible. There was a child's yelp, and he turned to find the wrist he was holding attached to a human boy. The child was taller than he by a good half meter, dark-haired, tanned, and severely thin.

And his eyes.

Kenit had rarely seen such old eyes in such a young child.

The boy was Force-sensitive. That was why Kenit had been distracted—he'd felt the boy's presence, and he wondered now how he hadn't noticed it properly before. The child was a star gone nova in the Force.

"Master Kenit? Master!"

Kytti. Kenit raised his comlink again. "I'm all right, Kytti. I've been accosted by a ragamuffin, that is all. I'll be with you in a minute."

"Yes, Master."

His comlink off and pocketed, Kenit returned his attention to the child. "Careful, boy," he grumbled. "You might have been caught by a mark less friendly."

The child gave a grin that vanished as swiftly as it had appeared. "My apologies, good sir."

Kenit snorted and let go of the thin wrist. "You have nice manners for a thief. You should move on, now; I have dangerous business to attend to."

Something like excitement and perhaps also panic flitted across the boy's face. "Do you? Maybe I could help."

Ah, the child did want something. Kenit shook his head. "If you want to help, sit down and stay here. The work I have today is much too dangerous to include a youngling."

The boy folded his arms. "You may be surprised at what I can do."

Kenit raised an eyebrow. "Perhaps. But if you wish my help, as I believe you do, you should take heed. I must go, but I will return shortly if you wish it."

"I… I do." Vulnerability rippled beneath the boy's surface of bravado, a trait Kenit had often seen in street children.

"Very well. I shall see you soon."

"Yes, sir."

The Jedi turned and began to make his way through the crowd—easy enough to do when you were a mere three-quarters of a meter tall, as he was. Sherlock waited until the Jedi was out of sight, then moved. Before he had attempted to pick the Jedi's pocket—or pouch, more properly—he had overheard snatches of the conversation between the Jedi and his partner. Kenit and Kytti. That was an unfortunate pairing of given names if ever he'd heard one—sounded more like a comedy duo than a Jedi team!

But more important than learning the names of the Jedi was discovering what they were doing on Tatooine. Or rather, the words "Black Sun"—Sherlock didn't need to hear the rest of the conversation to deduce the basics.

Black Sun was the galaxy's biggest and most infamous crime syndicate, spanning across the Galactic Republic and out across the Outer Rim. And Sherlock had been given to understand, in the past, that they were always looking to expand. It could be that the two Jedi were here to stop an expansion; it could be as simple as finding and arresting a particular member for a particular crime. He didn't know the specifics, only who was involved.

That was enough to go on.

One hour, one collective brush with death, and one unconscious and arrested Black Sun agent later, Sherlock was sitting in a starship—a starship!—under the intense scrutiny of a 75-centimeter-tall Jedi Master and a much taller and much younger human female Jedi Knight. Any other time at all, Sherlock would have been withering under the stern glares, but the fact that he was sitting in a starship at all, even if not airborne, for the first time in his life, buoyed his spirits.

"What in the all the galaxies possessed you to do something so colossally foolish as trying to interfere with a Black Sun agent?" Kenit Nusep thundered.

"A sense of public duty?" Sherlock ventured hopefully. "I did get his blaster off of him."

"And could have gotten yourself killed as well in the process!" The Jedi kneaded his forehead. "What is it you want from us, youngling? Is it a ride home?"

Sherlock frowned in confusion. "A ride home, sir?"

"Your accent," Kytti Wynntir clarified. She was a slender human female in her twenties, with short red hair, green eyes, and the palest skin Sherlock had ever seen on a human, so pale it almost looked white. Except for irregular patches of skin along the right side of her neck, reaching her jaw—those patches were darker. Sherlock was betting those patches were actually synthflesh, although he wasn't sure what kind of injury would require coverage in that part of her body. "You're from the Core, aren't you?"

Sherlock's face cleared. "Oh. No, ma'am. My father was; I picked it up from him." People had made the mistake before, though, when Core inflections accidentally slipped into the Outer Rim accent he often used to escape notice.

"Then what do you want, boy?" the older Jedi pressed. "We need to return to Coruscant."

"I want you to take me with you."

"We are not a public transport service!"

Kytti stepped in again. "What about your parents?"

"They're dead," Sherlock said flatly. "It's just my grandmother and me, and she can't even look after me all the time because she's a slave and I'm free. Believe me, she knows how much I want to get off this rock."

"I sympathize, young one," Kenit began, "but we cannot—"

"I want to be a Jedi Knight."

That froze both adults.

"I want to be a Jedi Knight," Sherlock repeated, filling each word with the utmost conviction.

Kenit looked at him hard and long, his gaze penetrating in a way that Sherlock had never seen from anyone before. He had been able to stare at a person and sort of take them apart, but he had never been on the receiving end of that look before, and it was unnerving. Nevertheless, he raised his chin and held the Jedi's gaze, refusing to break eye contact.

"Why?" Kenit said at last.

"I know I'm like you; I've known that for a long time. I can do things no one else I know can, but I know there's more to it. I want to learn. And… and I want to help people. And I know I can help them better as a Jedi than any other way."

"Perhaps," the Jedi master said slowly.

Kytti's eyes widened. "Master, you can't possibly—"

Kenit raised a hand. "Peace, my old Padawan. Master Holmes, do you know what the life of a Jedi is like?"

"You travel around the galaxy and help out people who need it. You negotiate treaties, protect people, investigate crimes…"

"Yes, we do. But there is more to the life of a Jedi than that. It is a commitment to a certain way of life, a certain way of thinking. It means to put the needs of others above the needs of your own, always, without fail."

Sherlock nodded. "I understand."

"Do you?"

"Yes, sir, I do."

Kytti stared incredulously at the older Jedi, who returned her gaze calmly. "You must excuse us for a moment, my boy. We have things to discuss."

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #450

Top Ten Characters with the Best Star Trek: The Next Generation Episodes

As I’m writing this, it’s officially Star Trek: Discovery day; the first episode of the new season is up on Netflix and ready to watch. Given how little time I manage to find for watching anything that I want to watch, I’m cautiously optimistic that I can get to see it this weekend, but we’ll see; my lovely wife might want to finally catch up with Star Trek: Picard first, which for some reason she never finished. Regardless, I’m excited, and I wanted to write about Star Trek again.

The new Star Trek series have been a bit of a roller coaster, because whilst they’ve both generally been very good, they’ve certainly had their odder and more controversial moments, and neither of them has consistently felt like classic Trek. If I had to be critical, I’d argue that there are plenty of darker adult-tinged sci-fi shows at the moment, including ones set in space, but not that many that follow the day-to-day travails of a starship crew, which as always been Trek’s raison d'être. However, both shows have succeeded in giving us some compelling stories and – especially in the case of Discovery – a fantastic cast of new characters to celebrate. Great characterisation has been the cornerstone of Trek since the beginning, and no doubt one of the reasons why it still resonates to this day, from the “Holy Trinity” of Kirk, McCoy, and Spock, through to the wonderful and insanely empathetic Saru in Discovery and Captain Sexpot Rios in Picard. The fact that we’re now in a new time period, with no established history to try to tie the narrative to, means Discovery 3 is in a great place to give us some great new stories.

Anyway, to celebrate all of this – the new season of Discovery and my overall love of Star Trek characters – I’ve decided to go back to the Next Generation well and talk about just that: characters. TNG famously hit its stride when it started focusing each story through the lens of the different characters on the show, so that we tended to get a “Worf episode” or a “Riker episode”; even the best eps, the biggest and most epic, really had a tendency to hone in on one or two characters specifically, such as the all-time classic “The Best of Both Worlds” really being about Picard and Riker, or “Yesterday’s Enterprise” being a much-belated Tasha Yar episode.

But which characters have the best episodes? That is, if you know an episode is focused on a particular character, how likely is it that it’s going to be a belter? Can you reasonably say one character was better served than another in terms of the quality of “their” episodes? Well, yes. Yes you can. That’s this list. That’s the whole thing.

So this list is basically which characters have the best episodes, or are more likely to. It’s not a list of my favourite characters, or even really a list of the best episodes overall; it’s just, well, who got to chew scenery the most on the bridge, basically. Now, I really feel like I should end this blurb with an appropriate Star Trek quote, but I must have used “Make it so” and “Engage” before, so I’m not sure what else to say.

May the Force be with you, I guess.

Picard: Yes, of course; he’s the star, he’s the stand-out actor of the bunch, he gets the best episodes. If it focuses on the captain, you can rest assured you’re in for a treat. Whether it’s an epic mythology-enhancing saga or – even better – a slower, sadder meditation on life, Picard’s episodes are engaging. Chortle. Also if there’s room for a classic Picard Monologue, all the better; I don’t know if you’ve noticed this about Patrick Stewart, but the guy can chew scenery. Key episodes: The Best of Both Worlds, The Drumhead, The Hidden Light

Worf: Worf’s complex backstory offers a lot of opportunities for great stories, with the caveat that pretty much all of them focus on Klingon history or the contrast between his heritage and his place in Starfleet. Issues of familial loyalty rub up against quasi-Shakespearean dynastic dramas, often with high adventure. You can assume a Worf ep is a good one, despite the fact that quite a few of them are also about Alexander. Key episodes: Sins of the Fathers, Redemption, Birthright

Data: everyone’s second-favourite emotionless nerd on Star Trek, Data’s eps are almost uniformly great, and often poke at what it means to be alive. There may be a bit of ground retrod as we examine the notion of humanity, or sentience, or emotion, but his episodes are always interesting, and often very funny, and Brent Spiner is a continuing delight. Key episodes: The Measure of a Man, The Offspring, Brothers

Q: is it cheating to include a recurring guest star? Maybe, but I don’t care. John de Lancy is just phenomenal as Q, one of the best Trek characters, and so good he became a My Little Pony. He’s arch, he’s hilarious, he can take the show into new directions; he raises questions of fate, or of the concept of divinity; and underneath it all there’s a malevolent streak, a genuine sense of danger exemplified in his first appearance. Pairs very well with Picard, naturally. I didn’t like the Robin Hood episode, though. Key episodes: Deja Q, Encounter at Farpoint, Q Who

Riker: he’s a Kirk-esque horn-dog ragamuffin with a heart of gold and a fist of steel, so there’s always a lot to love when William T. takes the helm (see what I did there?). Often issues of loyalty, or duty versus personal wishes, arise; he’s frequently putting his life on the Enterprise above his career. But he’s also a very moralistic character, so quite often he’ll be trying to do the right thing in tough circumstances. Key episodes: The Pegasus, Future Imperfect, Frame of Mind

Crusher: always a stand-out supporting character, Crusher has some great episodes focused on her too; usually quite a self-righteous sort who puts the immediate moral obligation above her own safety or duty to Starfleet, which raises lots of interesting, thorny questions. She’s a smart cookie, exemplified in the astounding Remember Me; her relationships with her son and with Picard are good to explore too. She also shagged a ghost, but let’s try to forget about that. Key episodes: Remember Me, Attached, Suspicions

Wesley: pigeonholed somewhat unfairly due to a few ropey first-season episodes, Wesley Crusher is actually an interesting character whose stand-out storylines offer a good deal of nuance and intrigue, as well as exciting hi-jinks, insights into the Federation, and – should you go that far – weird magic Jedi stuff. He gets a nice romance with Ashley Judd, we unpeel his relationship with Picard over multiple episodes, and the bloom comes off the rose in spectacular fashion when he gets to Starfleet Academy. Wil Wheaton was a good young actor and was sadly underserved by the show, but at least we get these eps. Key episodes: The Game, Final Mission, The First Duty

Pulaski: say whaaat? Yes, she’s only in the show for five minutes, but Doctor Pulaski gets a few crackers under her belt in that time. A bit like Crusher would later, she often excels when standing up to authority and presenting herself as a moral arbiter. Interestingly, she’s not always right, and it’s a fun dance to watch. She’s also been round the block a bit, adding facets to her relationships with other characters, particularly Riker. And, of course, she flirts with a bunch of polygons when Geordi and Data cock up the Holodeck. Key episodes: Elementary, Dear Data, Unnatural Selection, The Icarus Factor

Troi: sadly suffering in the face of a bunch of soppy romances and storylines involving her mother that are, shall we say, an acquired taste, Troi still gets some good stuff, mostly later in the series’ run. Taking her out of her comfort zone, making her a spy or an investigator, or giving her some proper dramatic meat, works wonders. Also once she was a cake. Key episodes: Face of the Enemy, Eye of the Beholder, Dark Page

LaForge: oh, Geordi. I love Georgi, but he kinda got done dirty a little bit. Always an interesting and dependable secondary character, unfortunately the bulk of his episodes as a primary character tend to revolve around him being a bit of a jerk or a bit of a creep. Obviously the most heinous sin is making a computer program based on a real person and then, well, trying to shag it, but he also has a tendency to be a dick to anyone new in Engineering. He’s even a bit of a dick to Scotty! I sometimes think the writers never quite had a handle on Geordi’s character; is he a young tech genius with poor social skills? Is he supposed to be arrogant? A wannabe lothario who’s just really unlucky? Anyway, like I say, I still love the guy to bits, and LeVar Burton is fantastic, but of all the main ensemble, his are the flakiest solo episodes. That said, the three listed here are all belters. Key episodes: The Next Phase, The Enemy, Relics

Anyway. There we are. I’ve still, as of going “to press”, not watched Discovery season 3, and my wife’s still not watched the end of season 1 of Picard. Any day now…!