#stanno dreva

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@capnhoozits

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What if Rada had run into Stanno sometime between Danika’s birth and Ishval restauration? – a fan-variation on fanfiction by Cap’nHoozits.

 (...)

 Everybody thought the worst of her. One look at her child was enough for them to make up their minds. Danika did not have pure Ishvalan features, and thus could not have come out of a proper Ishvalan marriage. The little girl’s black hair and blue eyes were reason enough for the world to shun her mother. No matter where Rada went, it was always the same. People considered her with pity, contempt, or conceited superiority. So she never stayed anywhere for too long. She feared how much worse it would get if anybody found out what she had done.

 After all, the one person whom she told the truth rejected her in the most cruel way. And he had been the man she loved.

 Nothing had ever hurt her more than the disgust in Stanno’s eyes. Not even the pain inflicted upon her by the State Alchemist could compare with the repulsion painted all over her fiancé's face. All she wanted was for him to embrace her, to tell her it was going to be okay, and he pushed her away. Hit her so hard she fell to the ground. Called her a whore. Said that she threw away her dignity and sold her family out. And left her to her own devices.

 To a woman whose entire family had just been murdered, by the man she personally begged for mercy, this was like a nail to the coffin.

 In the years to come, she’d come to believe Stanno’s assessment of herself. She may not have specifically said yes to that soldier, but she did say she would do anything he wanted. She would have done anything, truly anything to save her family. Alas, her desperate gamble went wrong. And thus her life had ended.

 (...)

 She’d never have expected to come across Stanno again. Yet meet again they did, in an empty storehouse where they both happened to be looking for shelter. The place was practically falling apart, but it was raining and beggars could not be choosers. Stanno’s expression left no doubt that he had no intention of taking back the judgment he passed two years prior. He still considered Rada filthy, a traitor to their race. And Danika, the child in her arms, was even worse piece of trash than she was.

 Rada clung to her daughter, whom she loved despite the circumstances behind her conception, and waited for Stanno to throw them both out, like the garbage he thought they were.

 For moment, the longest moment of Rada’s life, the man she once loved stood over her, seething with anger, while the rain drummed on the miserable roof above their heads and Danika whimpered in her arms.  

 He did not throw them out. He did not say a word. He uttered something that could be interpreted like silent swearing and sat down.

 Apparently, they were not worth his fatigue.

 Temporarily safe, Rada caressed her daughter’s back, seeking to calm herself rather than the child. She was already thinking about where to go next, once the rain has passed.

 When that happened, Stanno told her to come with him.

 She remained speechless for a few moments.

 He said he was leaving, and if she wanted to come along, she should hurry the hell up, cause he would not wait for her.

 Still very much shocked, she trotted after him.

 (...)

 In the years to come, she would often analyze their interactions post genocide. Wonder why Stanno wanted her around, if he had condemned her so easily when they met last. She’d come to convince herself that his initial reaction to her story had been the product of their circumstances overall. That he cared for her, despite everything, but could not bring himself to offer her comfort when his own heart was bleeding. Alternatively, those years in exiled changed his perception somewhat. Perhaps he was still disgusted with Rada, but realized he had nobody else in the world. That, or he fancied keeping around somebody he could treat as inferior with no repercussions. Whatever his reasoning was, he wouldn’t say, and Rada knew better than to bother him. She was not the type to look a gifted horse into the mouth.

 (...)

 They travelled together from then on. Whenever they could, they sought employment. Rada scrubbed floors and did the dishes. Stanno cleaned stables and carried heavy loads from point A to point B. Sometimes they dug through garbage bins, looking for scraps. Sometimes Stanno went as far as to steal. Nothing much – an apple here, a piece of bread there, a doughnut when he was feeling particularly bold. When Rada expressed her concerns about those activities, he told her in a firm tone that he was merely taking back a small portion of what the Amestrians had taken from them. Also, she should be grateful that she had such a resourceful man by her side. Rada swore she appreciated him, and that was why she was worried about him. He told her he would be fine. That was the end of discussion.

 At some point Danika called Stanno “dada”. He eyed her dangerously and insisted she calls him “Zhaarad Stanno”. Rada took the hint and that’s what she taught her daughter to address him as.

 The little girl learned soon enough never to look her mother’s companion in the eye. She dropped her head as soon as she sensed his presence and did her best to remain absolutely still. Yet, even on her best behavior, she could never please the man. Stanno could hardly tolerate her, and did not bother trying to pretend it wasn’t the case. He insisted on cutting Danika’s hair as short as possible, and hiding the rest under a scarf – so she’d appear at least a little bit less suspicious to Rada’s potential employers. Once he went as far as to try and bleach it pigeon droppings.  

 It tore Rada’s heart to see her little girl suffer. Yet, she could not bring herself to hold Stanno’s repulsion with her child against him. Danika was a living proof of what was done to his betrothed. A constant reminder of her dishonor. How could he not hate her?

 Truly, Stanno was as much a victim of the circumstances as Danika was. If it weren’t for the war, he’d still be making beautiful furniture and lavishing Rada with loving attention. He’d still be the man she fell in love with, one she wanted so badly she couldn’t sleep at night. This was the man she pictured when she though of Stanno. Not the grumpy, bitter day laborer, who complained about everybody and everything.

 Kind as she was, Rada decided to treat Stanno like partner in misery, and make his life as bearable as possible. She wanted to believe she could make the difference. That she had the power to make him smile again. It was a chore and a half just to keep him remotely satisfied, but Rada was quite determined. It wasn’t just her future that was on the line, but also Danika’s. The poor child deserved a proper family. If Rada devotes herself to Stanno completely, he may start to see her daughter in a more favorable light. Perhaps he could even be persuaded to let the girl call him “papa”.  

 This possibility gave Rada all the motivation she needed.

 (...)

 When Rada told Stanno about the baby, he was overjoyed. He embraced her and pet her still flat stomach. He searched far and wide for cloth and rugs to provide her with some more comfort. He worked extra hours to obtain quality food for her. When she expressed her concerns for him, she shrugged and said he was stronger than she thought he was. Then he offered to rub her back and feet.

 Those were happy times. Rada shed tears of relief, seeing that her efforts were paying off. Stanno was coming back to her, emerging from the darkness of despair. It was almost as if she was his guiding light. The thought filled her with pride and hope. For the first time in forever, the future did not seem scary.

 There was just one little obstacle yet to overcome – Stanno’s treatment of Danika, which has not improved one bit. Still, Rada remained hopeful. The Great Temple was not built overnight. There will be a breakthrough eventually.

@capnhoozits