#stanley has his arms open like he's waiting for a hug while ford is scared and keeping those hands to himself

[flipflopmaster]

oh god

pray for me brother

[thelastspeecher]

Pirate AU - Ford Gets What He Wanted

So, the other day, I got an ask about what Ford is up to in the Pirate AU.  Essentially, he accidentally became a pirate hunter, captaining his own ship, the Orion.  His main target: the Pirate King, as he believed that Stan had been kidnapped by the Pirate King (aka Captain Sully aka Captain Sally aka Angie McGucket).  In actuality, Stan joined the pirate crew of his own volition, and even started up a relationship with Captain Sully Captain Sally Angie.

And this...is what happens when Ford finds all that out, after he finally catches up to the Pirate King.

——————————————————————————————

              Ford marched past the pirates that were already tied up by his crew, heading straight for the captain’s quarters.  He was filled with triumph at finally catching up to the Pirate King, Captain Sully, the man who had taken his brother hostage, forcing him to work on his ship.  The moment he tore open the door, however, his eyes widened.

              He had expected to see Sully bound and gagged on the floor, Stan beaming at his rescuers.  Instead, a woman lay on the captain’s bed, surrounded by soiled blankets, two infants in her arms.  Stan stood in front of her protectively, glaring at Ford’s men.

              “Stanley!” Ford said happily, moving towards his brother. Stan let out a low snarl.  Ford didn’t see the left hook coming.

              “Get off me, you fucking bastards,” Stan snapped as Ford lay on the floor of the cabin, reeling.  Ford rubbed his cheek.  No doubt it would bruise.  He got to his feet.  The men were already subduing Stan.

              “Stanley, what the hell was that for?” Ford demanded. Stan tried to break free from the men holding him back.

              “My wife just gave birth, dumbass,” Stan spat. “And you swarmed the goddamn ship.” Ford’s jaw dropped.

              “Your…”  Ford looked at the woman on the bed.  A fierce fire sparkled in her blue eyes.  She held her infants close to her chest, but Ford could see one had the distinctive Pines nose.  “What- the last thing I heard, you were in a relationship with Captain Sully,” Ford said weakly.  “Where is he?”

              “You’d be hard-pressed to find Sully,” the woman said, baring her teeth.  She tugged down the collar of her shirt, revealing a long, jagged scar on her neck. Ford’s heart stopped.  “He doesn’t really exist.”

              “I- you-” Ford stammered.

              “I stopped going by Sully ages ago and started using my actual name, Sally.  Why are you so behind the times?”

              “I…”  Ford stared at the floor.  His mind stuttered.  “Captain Sully is a woman?  And your wife, Stan?”

              “Yes,” Stan growled.  Ford swallowed.

              “Take him to the brig,” he commanded.  Stan’s eyes widened.  “And take the Pirate King to- to-”  Ford looked at Captain Sully- Sally.  She was shaking, despite her vicious demeanor.

              Presumably from blood loss.  Many of the blankets packed around her were drenched in red.  Captain Sally met Ford’s eyes.  Exhaustion had replaced her anger.  Ford caved. I can’t send a post-partum woman to the brig.

              “Take the Pirate King to the infirmary,” Ford said softly.  He didn’t miss the way Stan slumped slightly in relief.

              “And the babies?” asked one of the crewmen. Ford winced.

              “I suppose they can stay in my cabin while their mother recuperates.”  He held his breath, ready for Captain Sally to scream at him.  No such thing happened.  He looked at the Pirate King again.  She’d passed out.  “Get her to a doctor right away,” Ford snapped.  “And…”  He swallowed. “Bring the infants to my cabin once they have been checked over.”

              “Yes, captain,” murmured one of the crewmen. Ford turned on his heel and stormed out of the cabin, trying to quiet the panicked shouting in his head.

-----

              There was a timid knock at the door.

              “Come in,” Ford said tiredly.  The door opened, revealing his beloved first mate, Fiddleford McGucket.  Ford let out a long sigh.

              “That bad, huh?” Fiddleford asked.  Ford put his head in his hands.

              “You have no idea,” he groaned.  “I’m so glad you’re here.”  As the only known man to have survived a duel with the Pirate King, Fiddleford was moved from his ship to Ford’s.  Ford’s ship had the specific goal of tracking down pirates, after all. Fiddleford had taken a slight demotion from captain to first mate as a result, but never complained about it.

              Ford would be lost without him.

              “I was interrogatin’ the pirate crew, I don’t know what happened in the captain’s…cabin…”  Fiddleford trailed off, staring at the infants sleeping in a makeshift crib by Ford’s bed.  “Uh…”

              “Oh.  Yes.” Ford looked over at the babies as well. “Meet my nieces.”

              “Your…?”

              “Apparently, Stanley married the Pirate King, who is actually a woman, and sired these two children.  They were born shortly before we boarded.”

              “And the captain?” Fiddleford asked quietly.

              “She’s in the infirmary, recovering from giving birth.”  Tension left Fiddleford’s shoulders.  “Why are you worried about the safety of a woman that tried to kill you?” Ford asked. Fiddleford walked over to Ford’s bed and sat on it, peering at the infants with a gentle smile on his face.

              “I don’t like the idea of children growin’ up without their mother, that’s all,” he said.  One of the babies awoke, yawned widely, and stretched tiny arms out. “Aw, come here, sugar cube.” Fiddleford removed the infant from the crib.  “What a precious lil bean!” Fiddleford cooed.  The infant giggled.  “So sweet.” He looked up.  “What are their names?”

              “I didn’t think to ask,” Ford said, still a bit blindsided by how casual Fiddleford was being.  “Fiddleford, why are you taking this so well?”  Fiddleford shrugged.

              “Don’t rightly know.  Maybe it’s ‘cause I don’t really have a horse in this race.”

              “Hmm.”  Ford got up. He joined Fiddleford on his bed. “She really is adorable,” he said softly.  Fiddleford nodded, beaming.

              “She’s got yer nose.”

              “Heh.  Yeah. The other one has their mother’s nose. Here, I’ll show you.”  Ford removed his other niece from the crib. “And she’s a polydactyl as well.”

              “Really?”  Fiddleford looked at the infant.  “She must be somethin’ special, then.”  Ford nodded. He smiled weakly at his niece. The smile faded as he recognized the nose she’d inherited from her mother.  It was the same nose on his first mate.

              “Fiddleford…” Ford croaked.  Fiddleford looked at him in concern.

              “What’s wrong?” Fiddleford asked.  Ford stared at his first mate’s kind eyes.  They were the same blue as the fierce gaze the captain had levied upon him.  “Stanford?”

              “Why are you so concerned about the Pirate King?” Ford asked.

              “I- I just told ya.”  Fiddleford sounded bemused.  “I don’t think lil ones should grow up without their parents.”

              “You know her,” Ford whispered.  Fiddleford sobered.  He deposited the infant back into the makeshift crib.  “You know the Pirate King, Captain Sally McGowan.”

              “…Yes,” Fiddleford said softly.

              “How?  How do you know her?”

              “She’s my little sister,” Fiddleford whispered, his eyes closed.  Ford’s heart leapt into his mouth.  He swallowed it back down.

              “So these aren’t just my nieces.  They’re yours, too.”

              “Yes.”

              “I-”  Ford took a steadying breath.  “How long have you known that your sister is the Pirate King?”  Fiddleford was silent.  “How long, Fiddleford?”

              “Since the first time I came across her, back when she was still goin’ by Sully.”

              “All this time,” Ford whispered.  Fiddleford looked away.  “All this time, you knew who the Pirate King was, and you didn’t share this information with anyone?  Even though we were chasing her down?  You didn’t even- you didn’t even correct Toby’s information on who she- who she-”  Ford froze as the truth of the matter dawned upon him.  “You’re the one who tells me the information Toby collects.”

              “Yes.  I am.”

              “Toby’s information wasn’t wrong, was it?  He collected accurate information, you turned it inaccurate.”  Fiddleford was silent.  “How could you?  How could you betray this ship, this country, me?” Ford demanded.  His voice rose, startling the infant he was holding. She began to cry.

              “Stanford, please, put her back in the crib,” Fiddleford pleaded.  Ford held his niece closer.  “She’s scared.  She’s-”

              “How could you?!” Ford roared.  Fiddleford’s eyes filled with fire, emphasizing further the familial resemblance between him and the Pirate King.

              “She’s my baby sister!” Fiddleford snapped. “She’s been through hell and back. If I’d been there to support her when her life fell apart, maybe she might not have turned to piracy.  But I wasn’t!  No one- no one in my fam’ly was.  She was scared and alone, and I just want to protect her the way I should’ve, years ago.”  Ford’s heart pounded in his ears.  He got to his feet and threw open the cabin door.

              “Tad, take First Mate McGucket to the brig,” Ford commanded.  The crew on deck stopped what they were doing to stare.

              “Uh, why?” asked Tad.  Ford glared at Fiddleford.

              “Treason against the crown.”

              “Treason?”

              “He was helping the Pirate King this whole time,” Ford spat out.  Fiddleford bowed his head, accepting his fate.  Ford watched Fiddleford make his way to the brig without a fight.  He closed the door of his cabin.  His niece’s crying increased in volume. Tears slipped down Ford’s face. He hugged his niece tightly.  “I know, my dear,” he choked out.  “I- I feel the same way.”

----- 

              There was a knock at the door.  Ford took a steadying breath.

              “Enter,” he instructed.  The door opened, revealing Stan, his hands tied behind his back, held by Tad.  “Tad, you can leave Stanley in here.”

              “Are you sure, captain?  He’s a dangerous pirate.”

              “He won’t hurt me.”  Ford stared into Stan’s eyes.  “Not when I have the authority to remove his wife from the infirmary to the brig at any moment.”  Fear flashed across Stan’s face.  “He’ll cooperate.  Won’t you, Stanley?”

              “Yes,” Stan ground out.

              “See?  You can leave us.”  After watching Stan take a seat in front of Ford’s desk, Tad left.  “Your daughters are here,” Ford said, nodding at the makeshift crib.  Some of the stiffness in Stan’s posture left.  He stared at the crib longingly.  “I’ve been referring to them as Marina and Regina.”  Stan rolled his eyes.

              “Like I’d name my kids something like that,” he snorted.  He froze. “Wait, they’re- they’re both girls?” His voice was small.  Ford blinked.

              “You didn’t know that?”

              “No, I-”  Stan blinked furiously, trying to hold back tears.  “I knew one of ‘em was a girl, but I didn’t get to look at the other before your crew raided us.”

              “I suppose that you won’t be able to tell me their proper names, then,” Ford said softly.

              “No, I can’t.  We didn’t get a chance to name them.”

              “I see.”  The infant Ford had been calling Regina began to fuss softly.  Ford got up and gently removed her from the crib.  He sat back down at his desk.  Stan stared at Regina with an expression akin to hunger. His eyes shone with unshed tears. “They’ve been given the best of care,” Ford reassured his twin.

              “I figured,” Stan choked out.  “You wouldn’t- you wouldn’t hurt your own nieces.” Ford nodded.  “Are you gonna adopt them, once you’ve hanged their parents?” Ford winced.

              “Your wife asked the same question,” he murmured. The Pirate King hadn’t been aggressive towards Ford in the slightest when he checked in on her earlier.  Ford knew better than to think it was because she respected his authority.  He’d brought her the babies so that they could be fed.  The combination of her children’s presence and the fact she was still weak from giving birth was the more likely reason she didn’t yell at him or attack.

              “You know the punishment for piracy is hanging,” Captain Sally said idly, stroking her daughter’s hair.

              “Yes, I am aware.”

              “Once we arrive at port, Stan and I will be led to the noose.”  Captain Sally looked up at Ford.  Her body occasionally trembled from exhaustion, her hair looked like a bird had tried to nest in it, and she desperately needed a bath.  But there was a vicious intelligence in her expression that, despite the rest of her appearance, chilled Ford to the bone. “These little girls will be without parents.”  She cocked her head.  “Are you willing to orphan two newborns?”

              “You and Stan were the ones to commit high crimes.”

              “Yes.  We did.”  Captain Sally’s mouth curled in a cruel smile.  “But you’re the one to allow the execution of your twin brother.”

              “It’s not- it’s not like I’ll be the executioner,” Ford protested.

              “Hmm.”  Captain Sally kissed the top of her daughter’s head. “Are you going to take in your nieces? Or will you have them be raised in an orphanage?”

              “We’re worried about our daughters,” Stan said. “Like good parents would be.”  His voice cracked halfway through his sentence. Ford’s heart sunk.  He’d picked up on Stan’s unsaid fear.

              “I’m gonna be a shitty dad, just like I had. But worse.  At least Pops was around.  I won’t be.”  Ford stood. He walked over to Stan and, onehanded, cut through the rope tying his brother’s hands.

              “Here,” Ford said softly.  He held Regina out.  “Hold your daughter.”  Stan took his daughter.  He stared at her wordlessly.

              “Hi, princess,” Stan whispered, stroking her cheek. Regina giggled.  Stan let out a strangled laugh.  Tears began to stream down his face.  Ford looked away from the tender, intimate scene.  “You’re so gorgeous.  Just like your mama.”  Ford could feel his resolve wavering.

              Am I willing to allow my nieces to be orphaned?  Am I willing to let my twin brother be hanged?  I don’t think I am.

----- 

              Stan was awoken by the sound of singing. Familiar singing.  He looked over at Fiddleford, in the cell next to his. Fiddleford nodded silently.

              “Those ‘re merfolk,” Fiddleford confirmed.  Stan got to his feet.

              “Something’s going down, isn’t it?”

              “Yes.”

              “What?”

              “I don’t rightly know,” Fiddleford said softly. Footsteps sounded.

              “I do,” Ford said solemnly, stopping in front of his twin and former first mate.  Fiddleford scrambled to his feet.  “A colony of merfolk that was allied with the Pirate King heard she was taken, so they rescued her, her crew, and her ship.”  Ford took a key out of his pockets.  He unlocked the doors to both cells.  “My entire crew, including myself, was powerless in the face of their magic.  In the chaos, my former first mate disappeared.”

              “Ford-” Stan started.  Ford met Stan’s eyes squarely.  They were glistening with unshed tears.

              “My greatest regret, however, is that the two children found on the Pirate King’s ship were also taken.  I wish I could have kept them from growing up with pirates. And I wish I could have discovered who their parents were.”

              “Stanford,” Fiddleford whispered.  Stan’s mouth went dry.  Ford turned away.  Fiddleford and Stan followed him to the deck.  Sweet Viola was waiting nearby, a bridge already set up between Angie’s ship and Ford’s.  And waiting by that bridge was a woman Stan hadn’t seen in over a week.

              “Angie!” Stan croaked.  Angie looked up.  Her blonde hair whipped in the night wind, her eyes were wide with fear, exhaustion, and sorrow.  Stan ran over and scooped her into his arms, enveloping her in a warm embrace.  Angie sobbed.  Stan’s heart broke.  His wife so rarely allowed herself to display any sort of emotion that could be interpreted as weakness.

              “I- I was so terrified I’d lose ya, and lose the babies,” Angie hiccupped.  Stan squeezed her tighter.  “I love you so much, darlin’.”

              “I love you, too,” Stan whispered.  He gently released her from the embrace. “The babies?”

              “Already on board.  Dan’s got ‘em.”

              “Good.”  Stan turned to Ford, standing nearby, his hands clasped behind his back and face stoic. “Stanford…”

              “This night will ruin my career, everything I’ve worked towards,” Ford said.  “But my crew wasn’t prepared to handle an assault of merfolk.  And I…”  Ford’s facial expression broke.  “I wasn’t prepared to lose my twin, sister-in-law, and first mate, as well as orphan my nieces.”

              “If ya ever want to give up the straight and narrow, my ship is more than happy to take ya on,” Angie said softly.  Ford merely nodded in response.

              “Thank you,” Stan said.  Ford nodded again.  His mouth quivered.  “I won’t forget this.”

              “There’s nothing to forget,” Ford said.  His voice shook.  “After all, this never happened.”  With that, he turned on his heel and marched back into his cabin. Angie took Stan’s hand and dragged him over to the Sweet Viola.  Fiddleford followed.

              “Set off, men,” Angie instructed the gathered crew. “We’ll celebrate once we’ve crossed the horizon.”

              “Aye, aye captain,” the crow intoned.  Angie headed for her cabin.  Again, Stan and Fiddleford followed.  Dan was inside, holding both of the babies.  He wordlessly handed one to Angie and one to Stan.

              “Thank you, Dan.  Go resume your duties,” Angie instructed.  Dan nodded and left the cabin.  Angie stroked the hair of the infant in her arms.  “Lord, they’re so beautiful.”

              “They take after their mama that way,” Stan whispered.  Angie smiled at him.  “Did Ford tell you he named them?”

              “Oh?”

              “Marina and Regina.”

              “Huh.”  Angie gazed down at her daughter.  “I kind of like those names.”

              “What?  Really?”

              “Yes.”  She held her daughter close to her chest.  “And even if I didn’t, it would be wrong to not honor Stanford fer what he did fer ‘em.  They should know.”  Stan looked down at the baby in his arms.  She yawned and stretched, flexing six fingers on one hand.  He swallowed the lump in his throat.

              “Yeah.  They should.”

[rational-mastermind]

Forduary Week #1

A/N: Redo. Gonna write another piece for Ford when he and Stan were still smoll.

 It was the perfect Saturday. No school. No bullies. No homework. Yes, even for Ford, no homework was a great thing. He and Stan got up early that morning to watch their favorite shows. Quickly ate some good breakfast. And had the rest of the day to do absolutely nothing. They ran down the beach to their hideaway cove.

 “Tag! Your it, pointdexter!”, Stanley teased, giving him a good smack on the back and started running ahead of him.

Ford had to catch his glasses to make sure they didn’t fall off his face.

 “Hey! No fair, Stan!”, Ford laughed and chased after him. “I wasn’t ready!”

The sand slipped under his feet, making it nearly impossible to run on but Ford was determined to catch up.

 Of course, he didn’t. Stan reached their boat, The Stan ‘O War and quickly climbed up on it.

 “Safe! The Stan ‘O War’s safe!”, he called out quickly.

 “Darn it!”, Ford gasped and sat back on the sand, leaning against the boat to catch his breath. “Fine...”

They laughed a little and Stan hopped down.

 “Man, you’re a wimp.”, he teased.

 “Shut up.”, Ford rolled his eyes. Then opportunity struck him and quickly reached forward and smacked Stan’s chest. “HA! TAG! You’re not on the boat!”

“What- HEY!”, but it was too late. For was already back on the boat, and out of Stan’s reach.

They giggled again and climbed up onto the boat’s deck.

“So what do you think we need to do next to get this thing going?”, Stan asked, looking at their ship-to-be.

 “Well.. We cleaned off all the barnacles.. But I don’t think we can use tools yet... Unless we know how to slip them by Pops..”, Ford noted, looking at the missing floor.

“Yeah, that’s not gonna happen.”, Stan frowned a little. “I can’t even get cookies without our old man noticing. How are we gonna get a hammer out here?”

 “Or a saw.”, Ford agreed. He then shrugged. “I guess we’ll just have to work on plans some more.”

 He pulled a notebook out of his jacket. The special one he kept just for the Stan O’ War. They sat together and Ford opened it to the map he drew.

 “So we’re definitely going to Canada, right?”, Stan asked. “We didn’t say for sure last time...”

 “I think we should.”, Ford marked it.

They talked of places to go. Things to do. Ford talking about where to find monsters and Stan dreaming about treasure and adventures. They “practiced” fighting off pirates and sailing, preparing them for their future. When it got hot, they sat in the cave, keeping cool and enjoying a late lunch of peanut butter and jelly.

It was then, while Ford waited for Stan to finish his toffee nuts, that the young boy laid back and more seriously thought about their lives. Their futures. He didn’t like to think about it..but sometimes he worried about what’ll happen. How do you just get from...point a to point b? From dreaming of adventuring on the seas to actually...DOING it? Ma and Pops..what would they say?

“..Hey Stanley?”, Ford finally broke the silence, his voice a bit smaller-sounding than usual. Uncertain in himself.

 “Yeah?”

 “Do... Do you think we can do this?”, he asked. “Build the boat... Go sailing off?”

 “Yeah, of course!”, Stan nearly scoffed at the doubt. “What kinda question is that?”

 “It’s just... I dunno.”, Ford frowned, looking up at the ceiling. “...What if we can’t? What if..I don’t know. Like, Ma says no? And we get grounded or something?”

 “Uh, then we’ll leave anyway.”, Stan rolled his eyes.

 “What if Pops found out?”, Ford added on, a bit more fearful.

 “Well it wouldn’t matter cause we’ll be GONE.”

 “But what if-”

 “Stanford, really? What on earth could possibly happen that’ll make this NOT work?”, Stanley frowned at him. “Why on earth would we NOT get as far away from this stupid city as soon as possible? What the heck could ever stop us?”

 “Well what if we got older?”, Ford sat up, looking back at him. “What if we got older and we didn’t wanna do this anymore? Cause we grow up and develop different interests? What if you suddenly wanna be a boxing champion and I wanted to be a scientist?”

 He was kind of annoyed that Stan was getting annoyed with him. But..mostly he was just scared. He was scared about the idea of not doing this anymore. That for whatever reason..they just stopped.

 “...What if we stopped being friends...”, he added, sadness creeping into his tone, his features. His eyes cast to the floor. “..what if we stopped being friends because...people liked you more? And you wanted to be with people who...weren’t a freak like me.”

There was a long silence. Ford didn’t want to look back at Stanley, cause he was afraid that if he did, he’d know his fears were right. It was plausible. People did usually like Stanley. Once they got to know him. He was funny and strong, he wasn’t afraid to stand up for what he thought was right. He was braver than Ford ever could be... And Ford...

Ford was a freak. No one liked a know-it-all. A nerd. Nor did anyone like someone with six fingers. It was just..weird. All weird. All Ford ever was, was weird. He couldn’t stop it. He can’t really embrace it either, like Stanley has. But what if Stanley...could do better without him? Stanley could actually make friends if Ford wasn’t holding him back.

“Stanford...”, Stanley came over and sat down next to his brother, putting an arm around him. Ford finally dared to look up, look back at his brother. And he was met

with a face full of sand.

“I know you’re smart, but that’s about the dumbest thing you ever said!”, Stanley scolded, having just shoved Ford into the ground.

Ford coughed and sputtered, spewing sand out of his mouth as he sat back up.

 “WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!”, he yelled.

 “IT WAS FOR BEING DUMB. THAT’S NOT YOUR JOB, IT’S MINE!”, Stanley yelled back at him.

 Forgetting, for the moment, of the more touching truth behind Stanley’s words, Ford lunged at him and they wrestled in the sand for a moment, trying to get the upper hand of each other.

 “I’m not dumb!”, Ford cried out.

 “I didn’t say you were!”

 “YES YOU DID!”

 “I didn’t mean it! OW!”

 “Watch it!!“

 It ended with Stanley sitting on his back, Ford’s arms held behind him. Ford struggled to wriggle out from underneath.

 “If you move, I’ll fart in your face!”, Stan threatened, effectively stopping Ford’s efforts. They caught their breaths, faces quickly flushing from the fight. “Geez, Sixer, did you even hear what I said?”

 “Yeah, you called me dumb.”

 “Yeah cause you actually thought I wouldn’t wanna be your friend!”, Stanley rolled his eyes. “Cause of your dumb hands of all things!“

 “Well why, not?”, Ford huffed. “...wouldn’t be a first.”

 “....Ford, if you keep talking about yourself like that, I’m gonna whoop you so hard Mom’ll think you got bullied by Crampelter again.”, Stan growled. “I LIKE YOUR HANDS! I like being your friend! I like being your twin! Don’t you think that counts for anything??”

 “Stanley, there’s a lot of great examples of siblings not getting along.”, Ford kept his glare focused on the ground. “You know that. It’s unnatural for siblings to get along as well as we do.“

 “Yeah, well since when did being normal ever mean being fun?”, Stanley challenged. “You and I have fun all the time. I don’t care if that’s not what other people do! I don’t care if you’re not like other people at all!”

Ford remained silent, letting what Stanley say sink in. He still worried. He can’t help it. But...it sounded like Stan was meaning what he said.

 “...Ford?”, Stanford looked up at his brother. Stan wasn’t angry anymore. He wasn’t sad either. He just looked...sad. “...I don’t ever wanna stop being twins with you.”

 Ford found himself nodding. He sniffled a little and hated it. He hated crying. He quickly rubbed at his eyes, making sure to keep them dry. Stanley reached over and hugged him. It was a bit weird. They usually didn’t hug. “Too whimpy and emotional” they would say. But Ford found himself glad for this one exception and hugged back tightly.

 “I wouldn’t ever want to stop being your twin either.”, he mumbled. Stan hugged tighter with a small “good” and they finally let go.

 After calming down, they came back out to the Stan ‘O War. They didn’t talk much for a while after that but..as Ford looked at the broken sail hanging limply on the mast...he couldn’t help but think that maybe Stan was right. Maybe nothing would get in their way.

Or at least..he hoped so.

[nautiscarader]

Wendip Week 2017 Day 3 - 5+1

(My fanfiction masterpost) (Read on Ao3) (Read on FF)

The alien invasion has never looked so formal.

On the abandoned parking lot, five levitating men in business suits appeared underneath the spaceship in five, separate beams of light. "Men" was a bit of an overstatement, however; while the aliens had vaguely humanoid look, they all lacked one important body part - their heads. That tiny detail, however, did not stop them from wearing what looked like black bowler hats atop their missing heads. Heads that they could, apparently, turn in any direction, as their hats moved eerily with them, when the invaders begun their reconnaissance. At the same time, from behind the nearby bushes, five people stared at the aliens that crept around the glade without moving any of their appendages, but just by slowly floating to any point of interest. Ford and Stan were dragged here by their now very much adult great niece-Mabel and great-nephew Dipper, accompanied by his wife, Wendy. For some time, they wanted to transform the empty, and half-dilapidated mall at the outskirts of the town into some sort of base of operations to combat various threats, and to store their findings. It seemed, however, that life has outrun them once more.

- Grunkle Ford! - Dipper whispered - Have you ever seen them in any of your travels? - Never! - Ford Babbled under his breath - And I don't think they are the friendly ones. We should back off and call authorities. Yes, with all due respect, guys, this seems a bit too much even for you. - But how do we know if they are bad? - Mabel asked - What if they are, you know, tourists? - They look like tax collectors. And alien or not, I don't trust them. - Stan grunted, keeping his eye on the aliens. - Well, I think we should give them a chance!

To the horror of the other four, Mabel boldly stood up and walked out of the bush, straight into the group of business-suit-clad aliens.

- Welcome to planet Earth, gentlemen! May I ask what is the purpose of your visit? Would you like to taste our delicious cuisine, or visit our beautiful great lakes, or watch our favourite animal videos, or... - THIS ONE WILL BE A GOOD SPECIMEN.

The alien, despite not having any visible speaking organ, emitted a voice that reverberated in the heads of the humans around. And judging by the cold, indifferent tone, Mabel realised it was a mistake to speak with them, but her decision sadly came too late. The alien effortlessly grabbed her by the edge of her sweater, completely unmoved by her attempts to wriggle out, and moved towards the spaceship.

- Mabel, no!

Dipper jumped from behind the bush, only to catch the last glimpse of the alien carrying Mabel disappearing in the beam of light. If the four other aliens were surprised by Dipper's sudden appearance, then the three humans that followed him must have shocked them, if one could guess their expression from their emotionless, empty faces.

- Alright, give me back my great-niece, you creeps! - Stanley shouted, pulling his sleeves up, in a vain attempt of scaring them. - And my sister! - And my sister-in-law! - And my great... niece... again.

The four adventurers formed a close circle, ready to strike their opponents at any moment. However, the aliens moved towards and quickly surrounded them, limiting their moves.

- Oh, screw you, I'm not gonna stand here!

Stan rushed to punch the alien towering over him, but he was met with fate similar to Mabel's: the alien's long arm ensnared him preventing him from doing anything remotely threatening. Before the other realised what happened to Stan, the aliens watching them rushed to do the same. Ford, Wendy and Dipper gave them a bit more of a challenge, but ultimately, the long appendages of the aliens caught them as well.

One by one, each alien with its prisoner moved to the teleportation beam, disappearing in the same fashion as Mabel, arriving inside the flying saucer, on a circular pad with a huge control panel towering over it.

- Guys! What are you doing here? You shouldn't be here!

Mabel stood up in her ethereal-looking cage she was sitting in and rushed to its edge, when she saw Stan, Dipper, Ford and Wendy appearing with their alien oppressors. Four more cages around Mabel's appeared out of nowhere, each one to hold one of the prisoners.  

- We couldn't leave you here, could we? - Dipper replied, massaging his back in the oddly cold place where the alien touched him. - Wendy, Stan, Ford, are you okay? - I think so, kiddo - Stan grunted, having difficulties standing up - I shouldn't have tried fighting this guy. Never thought they would capture you guys though. - Yeah, we need to get out here quickly - Wendy added - What are those?

She tried kicking the see-through bars of the cage, getting an odd, sparky, metallic vibration in return. She was about to touch it with her bare hand, when Mabel warned her.

- No, don't do it! It stings like electricity. Grunkle Ford, what is that? - Superpsionic alloy, I think. - he explained, after tapping his cage with his pen - But I might be able to do something with it... Just give me a moment... - Uh, guys, haven't you noticed something? - Dipper's voice brought the attention of others. - The aliens are gone!

To their general surprise, Dipper was right; aside from them, the deck was empty, as if the aliens vanished into thin air.

- They hide there - Mabel whispered, pointing to the oddly-shaped door on both ends of the circular room - I saw one coming from there. - Guys, that's our only chance - Dipper cheered - Grunkle Ford, do you know how to open this thing? - I think I do. I will need lots of different kinds of metal. Belt buckles, hair clips, spare coins, your axe, Wendy, whatever you have with bare metal.

Through the sparking beams of the cage, they passed any spare items they might have had to Ford. Stan and Wendy kept their eyes on the two entrances, ready to shout if any of them opens. Working under the pressure of time, Ford put several of the items he received into one cluttered clump he carried through the material of his coat.

- Okay, I will have one chance to short it. I have no idea what might happen, so stand back. Well, as back as you can in these.

The others followed Ford's orders, either lying on the alien floor, or moving as far from Ford's central cage as possible. Ford brought the primitive tool between the two bars, and gently turned it, so that it would touch both bars.

It was safe to say that they expected an explosion, huge spark of light, or anything that usually happened during a short circuit. Instead, like a mirage, Ford's cage simply ceased to be leaving him free to help the others escape.

- Brilliant, Grunkle Ford! That's gotta be our shortest escape ever. - Don't celebrate too early, Dipper. We're still several dozens of feet above the ground - Ford replied, welcoming Mabel in his arms. - Grunkle Ford, I'm so, so sorry I put you all in danger.   - Never-mind, Mabel, you can be sorry all you ant while we get to the ground and call the military.

Once she was free as well, Wendy brought Dipper into the tightest hug he ever received, beaded with quite sudden an unexpected tears.

- It's okay, Wendy, we're... safe. Kinda. Well, at least we're together. - If they ever show up, we're ready now. - Wendy shed away her tear and took her axe back from Ford

With all cages gone, the adventurers moved to the central pad with five, smaller circular ones in it.

- Well, great, we got out of the cages, but can you make that thing work? - Stan asked, watching his brother examine the buttons of the console. - Oh, yes, most of the universe use the standardised set of symbols. - Ford quickly asserted - Objectively speaking, we really are behind the times. We can't even have one unified type of plug! Imagine if you travelled thousand of light years, just to realise you can't use a beard trimmer, or something. - Ford - Wendy interrupted him - Can you leave your opinion pieces for later? We need to get to the ground ASAP. - Oh, right, of course.

Ford leaned over the console, and pushed several odd-looking buttons, scribbling something in his notepad.

- I think that'll do. Quick, stand on each of these, I think they can only send five beams at a time.

Once Ford checked if all members of his family stand firmly on the pads, he turned around, and pressed another button, turning the teleportation machine on.

The five adventurers remained in place.

- Why doesn't it work? - Ford pushed the circular button again, receiving only faint buzzing noise in return. - Wait, that shows that there's too many objects to teleport... They were doing in groups of five, weren't they? - There is five of us, Ford - Stanley snapped - You sure you punched the right symbols? Maybe the darn thing's broken? - Or maybe we don't stand on the circles perfectly. - Dipper put his hands closer to his torso, as if trying to fit into an invisible tube, afraid of getting scolded - How does it even work? - Wendy asked, nervously shifting her attention from one set of doors to another, waiting for aliens to catch on to their plan - How can this thing know how many of us are there? - Brain waves activity, I presume. - Ford replied, pushing the same combination again. - Or something similar, I guess. It can detect how many of us can go through this thing. Like an elevator, with maximum mass allowed.  

Wendy groaned, and to everyone's surprise, stepped out of the portal.

- Wendy, are you out of your mind? - Dipper shouted, trying to bring her back - They can be here any second now! - Well, if it doesn't work for all of us, we will go in smaller bunches. Do you have the numbers written, Ford?   - I do, but I don't even know if they work...

Taken aback, Ford reluctantly passed her the piece of paper.  

- Try doing it, I'll wait, quickly! - Oh, no, I'm not gonna leave you! - Dipper stated, stepping off the platform as well - What's wrong with you, Wendy? - Of for crying out loud...

Wendy stepped to the console from the other side, and before Ford, Stan or Mabel could react, she slammed her fist on the button. In an eye-blink, the three figures disappeared, leaving a shimmering cylinder of light behind them, and a very perplexed Dipper Pines staring at now empty portal. Dipper caught the glimpse of their stunned faces, as well as Mabel's hand trying to reach Wendy's, which, like a mirage, turned into thin air.

- Wait, how-

Wendy scooted back to the console, pulling Dipper to join her.

- Dipper, I wanted to tell you earlier, but... Well, I guess this will have to do. We're not the only two humans on board. - What do you mean? - Dipper asked, getting progressively more confused.

Focused on her mission, Wendy begun punching the keys in order, and only when she saw her husband's astonished face, she turned around to him, meeting him with a faint mixture of happiness and fear painted on her face.  

- Dipper, I... I'm pregnant.

Wendy took a deep breath and pulled the dumbstruck Dipper into a kiss, before she turned to the console and resumed entering the combination of squiggly buttons. She stopped, when she noticed her husband's motionless face in the corner of her eye.

- Dipper? You okay? I wanted to tell you before, but we kind got dragged here, and... - You... are going to... We... I mean, I... - Well, yeah, buddy.  

She smiled, giving him another hug, happy to see a change of emotion on his face.

- Of course! That's why this darn thing didn't want to work! - Dipper suddenly gushed - Cos' you counted as two, I guess. - At the very least, knowing your family. - she winked - Together?

Once they moved to their spots, the two placed their hands on the button, letting their fingers intertwine. They pushed the switch, waiting for the tingling sensation of their bodies being teleported down to Earth, where undoubtedly Stan and Ford were already planning defence against the alien threat.

But no such thing occurred.

The console didn't even emit the disappointing buzzing signal, as the button under their hands became motionless, despite the pressure.

Instead, a sound of sliding metallic door reached their ears, and five levitating men in a business suits floated from both sides, in a slow, ominous fashion. Cornered by the aliens, the two adventurers moved back from the console, both trying to out-protect the other one; Dipper constantly moved in front of his wife, while Wendy pushed him aside, ready to swing her axe at any given moment.

When their backs hit the metallic wall at the same time, the two exchanged a nervous, knowing look.  

- Together?

Even in this desperate situation, Wendy's voice was full of the same confidence Dipper got so used to over the years. Understanding their fate, he gave her a nod, and flexed his body, ready to attack.

- Alright, you snooty bastards, if you don't let us out, you will know how planet Earth tastes like. - Wendy spun her axe and held it with both her hands. - You gonna regret this-

With a loud "clunk", an axe fell to the floor. In an eyeblink, Wendy's voice cracked, halting her speech. Dipper spun his head around, only to find her eyes wide open and her face mortified in a grimace he hasn't seen yet. Wendy grabbed her belly with one hand, and Dipper's shoulder with the other, when her knees got weak, dragging her nearly to the floor.

- Wendy! What did they- What did you do to my wife? - Dipper shouted to the motionless foes.

First came the sound. An awful, deep, gurgling sound. Then the smell - a horrid stench hit Dipper's nostrils. After that, the stream of vomit escaped Wendy's mouth, landing on the closest alien's jacket and trousers.

- Son of a... it was suppose to happen in the morning, dammit! I already had one today! - Wendy shouted into the floor, wiping her face with her arm, still hanging to Dipper as a support.

Without thinking, Dipper ran to her side, picked up the axe and armed with the only weapon he had, stood between her and the aliens, spreading his arms to protect her, preparing for the worst.

It is safe to say that he wasn't prepared for what happened next.

The alien stained by Wendy's vomit lowered his hat, as if examining the ooze, then turned his invisible head to its mates, first on the left, then on the right. The faceless alien raised its empty space under its hat, and emitted a loud, screeching sound, that strengthened when the other four aliens joined him. At the same moment, lights on the ceiling begun rapidly blinking in an ominous, dark yellow colour, followed by the ones above the doors and inside the corridors behind them. Which meant one thing: the door were working, and so could the teleporter.

- Quick, Wendy, now!

Dipper grabbed Wendy's hand, ducked, and raced to the console in the middle of the spaceship, leaving the aliens lamenting in the same place. Still somewhat weakened, Wendy grabbed onto the teleporter console, ready to shield Dipper punching the coordinates. She flinched when the aliens stopped screaming and turned around to face - if one could call that - her and Dipper.  

- YOU HAVE CONTAMINATED THE SUIT WITH YOUR EARTH COOTIES! NOW WE NEED TO CLEAN THE ENTIRE SHIP, YOU INCONSIDERATE LESSER LIFE FORMS, YOU! THE FINEST DARK MATTER SUIT, DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW MUCH IT IS WORTH? - No, and frankly, we don't give a damn. - Wendy shouted, standing by her husband.

The four aliens that remained operational begun steadily moving towards the centre of the ship with their arms ready to grab the two humans, but they ceased their unnatural gliding movement when Dipper unceremoniously grabbed Wendy by her sides and pushed her - to her astonishment as well - in front of him.

- Don't come any closer! I've got my pregnant wife, and I'm not afraid to use he- That actually sounds awful, the more I think about it, doesn't it? - I think it doesn't really matter, Dip. - she replied - But yeah, who wants more of my morning sickness?

Seeing her open mouth, the aliens floated back a bit, giving Dipper time to punch the last signs on the console.

- So, that's all, guys. Sorry for the inconvenience, but we really need to go.   - Send us the cleaning bill, if you have those.

Wendy waved aggressors goodbye with her axe, before the two adventurers disappeared in the beam of light. The five aliens floated in their places, occasionally sharing a hat-turn.

- YOU KNOW IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF YOU, GUYS. - the levitating alien with destroyed suit shouted - IT WAS MY FOLKS'S SHIP, AND YOU KNOW HE'S GONNA GROUND ME FOR, LIKE, FOREVER, RIGHT? - AND WHO WANTED TO CONQUER A PLANET WITHOUT THEIR PERMISSION? - asked another, raising his invisible brows. - SHUT UP AND HELP ME CLEAN THIS MESS!  

Wendy was overjoyed, when she felt the grass underneath her feet. The next moment, Dipper's arms grabbed her and pushed her away from underneath the saucer, back through the asphalt parking lot to hide inside the deserted building. But for quite a long time nothing happened. Nothing nefarious, at least. From the safety of the ground underneath their feet, Wendy and Dipper stared at the flying saucer floating above them, regaining strength after their escape.

Before either of them could so much as ask of each other's safety, a sound of screeching tires reached their ears, when two cars did a sharp turn, driving to the parking. Mabel and Ford jumped out of the first one, followed by Stan, while sheriff Blubs and Durland not so much exited, as peeked from their seats, ready to do their duties, whatever they might be.

- This is Gravity Falls police. - Blubs begun speaking through the megaphone he raised in the air. - Do you know why did we stop you? - Wendy! Dipper!

Only now the two saw that Ford was carrying on his back something that looked like a combination of a bazooka and a toaster, with two cartridges rammed into it. And running in front of him was a colourful ball of sweater that threw her arms around Wendy's and Dipper's necks. Dipper patted Mabel's head, ensuring her they are safe.  

- I thought you'll be still there! What happened?

The air above them rumbled once more, and the spinning spaceship suddenly dashed to the side, floating higher and higher, before disappearing between the thick clouds.  

- I think they-they're gone. - Dipper replied, gently pushing his sister that outrun Ford and clang to his neck in a tight hug. - But we'd be done if not for Wendy. - What took you so long? - Ford inquired, taking the enormous device from his back - When I saw you weren't coming, I was going to try overwriting their system with my ionic cannon, to make the teleporter work properly. - Or you could have just blasted their engines down. That usually works - Stand added - Well, if my plan would fail... - Stan, Ford, we are okay. - Dipper assured them - Though I think Wendy needs to go to the hospital, like, right now. - Yeah, this time I might actually need to. - Wendy admitted, sending Dipper a subtle wink - But, please, don't overreact Dipper, I don't need help walking. - And you know I will. - Dipper smiled and offered Wendy his shoulder again.

The lumberjill rolled her eyes, accepting his help from one side, and Mabel's from the other, as the five (visible) human beings slowly moved towards Ford's van.

- We are going to let you free this time - Sheriff Blubs shouted through megaphone at the empty sky - But just you know, we have your numbers!

Blubs put his megaphone away and leaned to his partner.

- You got their plate, right? - Sure do!

Durland showed him his notepad, with a crudely drawn flying saucer on one of its pages.

- Good work, deputy. They won't have the guts to show up again in this state.  

One of the first ideas Dipper and Wendy implemented in planning their small, cosy wooden house was en entrance to the roof. Just like the one atop the Mystery Shack, theirs was designed for watching the night sky, sunbathing or general outdoor laziness. Tonight, however, the two mattresses placed on the slanted roof acted as a mean to contemplate.

- When were you going to tell me? - Dipper asked, stroking absent-mindedly Wendy's long hair, waiting for next shooting star to fly by - On your birthday, perhaps? Maybe a day earlier, so you wouldn't faint in front of everyone... - she joked, staring into the cloudless sky as well.

Silence fell between the two stargazers, waiting for each other's first move to start a new topic.

- We're gonna need to make the house a bit bigger. - Yep. - Wendy replied - Don't sweat it, Dad is going to help us. I've been thinking one room upstairs and some extra closet downstairs, underneath it, what do you think?   - Uh-uh.

Another minute or two passed, filled with nothing else than awkward grunts and coughs.

- Wendy, you know we can't really continue what we're doing, right? - Yeah. - she said despondently, avoiding Dipper's eyes - I mean, you can't. - Dipper added - I'm not gonna risk yours or our child's life, so I will have to double the- - Oh, for crying out loud, Dip. - Wendy rose from her seat. - First of all, it's either both of us, or neither. I won't let you wander alone into some ancient temple without me around to save your life.   - And neither will I! - he snapped back - I can bring Ford, or Mabel, they would love it! - Dipper protested, half-exasperated, half-astonished by Wendy's sudden change of tone - And secondly, Dipper - she brought her face close to his - When was the last time you actually managed to change my mind?

Despite her outburst, a smile appeared on her face, a moment before their lips met in long, consolatory kiss.

- Al-right, adventures over, I guess. Unless it's something local that pops up. - he pointed his finger towards her, anticipating her response. - Okay, as long as I will be able to drive and protect your ass. - Wendy rolled her eyes.

Neither of them felt like the conclusion they reached have satisfied them, and Wendy already could predict more than few arguments in the future, but for now, at least they had a short-term plan.

- I'm gonna hit the hay, Dip. - Wendy stood up and opened the trap door - You coming? - In a moment. - Dipper mumbled, staring into the night sky again - Wendy, do you think they will come back? - Dip... - You would think that if they wanted to, they would be here already, but then again, it turns out we are their worst nightmares!   - Dipper... - All you have to is to eat lots of fast-food, and boom! Instant weapon! Seven billion of them! I mean, the only thing worse would be if they were afraid of water, or wood! And how come the government did nothing about it? This place should be crawling with agents! Ford was going to call them, and all we got was darn Durland and Blubs!   - Mason!

Hearing her raised voice, Dipper turned his head only to find his wife half-way down the ladder leading to their bedroom.

- You know, I thought that after five years of dating, two years of marriage, and an actual bun in my oven you would figure this out, but I'm gonna spell it out. - Wendy articulated, leaning on the roof tiles - If a woman says she's gonna "rest", but she's doesn't actually look tired at all, then she probably means something else.

Dipper blinked once or twice, before his eyes grew wider and he jumped to his feet after his wife, closing the hatch behind him. All the problems of the Universe was nothing compared to Dipper's fear of failing to meet Wendy's expectations, even though to her that never happened. "But it never hurts to give him a light push every once in a while", Wendy thought as Dipper begun exceeding her expectations the moment the two fell onto their bed.

Several hundred miles away, a different discussion was taking place.

- Okay, so you've been sitting here all day, waiting for something to come up, right?

Two men in black uniforms with very visible heads sat across the table, staring at a much younger employee of the government-operated facility codenamed "Big Nose". Various monitors around the room showed all kinds of communication channels being either listened to, spoofed, controlled, or in one case, completely ignored.

- Well, yes. - the young man nodded eagerly - And the signal was recorded and printed out? - inquired the second agent. - Yes. - And have you cross-referenced it with existing data? - Oh, yes! - the excited man answered, pushing an old piece of paper. - It matched perfectly the frequency of the hypothesised alien communication channel from forty years ago.

Powers and Trigger took a closer look at the paper, dotted with numbers and letter, with one unusual group selected in bright red.

- And what did you do next? - Powers asked, raising his eyes from the paper - Well, the one that came this afternoon looked exactly the same, had the same parameters, and was detected from the same part of the Universe, so I marked it accordingly.

He handed them another piece of paper, taken from a nearby bin.

Agents Trigger and Powers exchanged looks, before the carefree man in front of them, playing with a toy rocket in his hands, became the centre of their attention again.

- We're gonna be relocated again, aren't we? - Yep.

Author’s note:  levitating man in a business suit (official name) is a Webdings-originating  symbol, that recently became an emoji, and as a result, it was added to the Unicode standard.  (x) (x) Most variations of these men have their heads, however, unlike the original. 

Wow! signal was an unusually strong radio broadcast that is hypothesised to be of alien origin. In 2017, however, a paper was published that suggests it might have been just a comet (although other papers seem to criticise it, so... there’s still a chance).

Dipper talking about inept aliens is an allusion to M. Night Shyamalan’s “Signs”, where aliens that are allergic to water and wood invade a planet covered in oceans and trees.

The overall plot-convenience of this story can be traced to me watching very old episodes of Doctor Who from 1963. 

[amydiddle]

Little Sixer Drabble idea; Ford has a nightmare of not being able to change back and has to grow up again, causing him to wake up upset and having to be cuddled back to sleep by Stan

Sorry for the wait. It was a crazy week last week and my internet is still going a little slow

Stanford tossed and turned in his over-sized bed. Stan had piled pillows around him to make sure he did not roll off the bed. This extra measure did not prevent the nightmares. His fears of a whole new life have bubbled to the surface and infected his dreams.

Tears had stained his freckled cheeks as he tried to fight off the dream world. The dream finally broke when he rolled over his brother’s terrible safety measures and fell to the ground with a loud bang.

The fall had luckily not hurt him but it did leave him on the ground in shock. Between the darkness and the sudden wake-up, the child struggled to separate the dream from reality. The fear of the future of going through school again, watching his brother and Fiddleford grow old, and of reinventing himself had shook the child to the core.

Ford wasted no time to get to his feet and pull the throw blanket off the bed. He ignored the pain in his arm from the fall as he wrapped the blanket around his shoulders and moved across the room to the door. It took a few moments to figure out a way to successfully get the doorway open while keeping his ‘blanket cape’ secure.

His little feet were silent on the ground as he made his way over to the stair case so he could get to the attic rooms. The darkness and his lack of glasses slowed his journey down some as he made his way up the obstacle. 

Ford only hesitated when he was outside the room; his little hand held up just about to grab the doorknob.

“What am I doing?” He whispered to himself as he let his arm drop. 

He had not went to Stan or anyone for comfort from a nightmare since he was twelve. On their thirteenth birthday he had deemed himself too old for such silly things and dealt with them on his own. Now he was back in the position of looking for one of his brother’s comfort when he was well into his twenties. 

Stanford was just about to turn back and made a journey back to his room when the door opened quickly and scared the small toddler. 

Stanley stood on the other end looking like he had scrambled out of bed and was ready to fight someone. The tall man almost missed the small de-aged man at the front of his door but noticed him just in time before he trampled the child. 

“Sixer, you alright? I heard a bang,” Stan said quickly as he knelt down in front of the child and looked him over. 

“M’fine,” Stanford mumbled, “Just…” 

Stanford trailed off into more mumbled at that point and looked away as Stan continued to look his brother over in the dim light.  

“Just what?” Stan asked carefully. 

His only response was Ford to shake his head and push out his bottom lip into a pout. 

“Come on, Lil’ Sixer,” Stan said softly and carefully moved his brother closer, “You can tell me anything. I promise I won’t laugh.”

Ford shifted nervously on his feet and looked up at his brother nervously. 

“Twins honor?” The boy asked cautiously? 

Stanley smiled softly before he answered. 

“Twins honor.” 

Ford squinted at his brother’s face before deeming the man to be telling the truth and gave in. 

“I had a nightmare,” Ford said the words softly, as if he was ashamed, “’about if I never go back to normal.” 

Stanley did not think of laughing when he heard the confession, just as he promised. Instead, the man picked up his brother and carried him into the room. He set the child gently on the bed before he sat on the ground in front of him. 

“That ain’t gonna happen,” Stan said, “Fidds is gonna figure out a way to put you back to normal and then you are going to grow up to be old and grey with the both of us.”

The man rested his hands on his brother’s knees and made sure his brother was looking at him as he said those words. He wanted to make sure Stanford knew he was not going to give up on him. 

“But what if I don’t get fixed?” Ford insisted, “What if I am stuck like this and have to go through life all over again?” 

“Then,” Stanley sighed and leaned back on his heels, “Then you get to go through a life that is better then you got in Glass Shard. Me and Fiddles will look out for you and you can be…like a child genius or something.” 

“But-.”

“No buts,” Stan stood up and flopped on the bed next to the small child, “That is that last resort. Right now we are gonna fix you even if it takes years, which is won’t, and then you are gonna have to do the ‘Ford was Wrong’ dance.” 

Stanford turned his head and watched his brother get comfortable on the bed. The mention of the dumb dance made the child pout more. 

“I hate that dance,” he grumbled. 

Stanley only grinned in response and closed his eyes, “I know~” 

Stanford kept the pout and the gaze on his twin. Silence had settled between them and he did not know what to do. What Stan’s movements that clearly meant he was going to bed mean that he wanted Stanford to leave? Should he just lay down next to him? 

Ford did not have to mull over those questions for long as his brother opened and eye and raised an arm. 

“You coming over here or what?” Stan asked. 

Stanford did not have to be asked twice. The child crawled across the bed quickly and snuggled under the large arm with a happy smile. The words his brother had said sunk in more that he he was in the comforting and familiar hug. 

[ultimate-nerd7103-blog1]

Comatose: Billdip Fanfic (Prologue-Chapter Five)

Comatose Prologue    "Huh?" Dipper said to himself as he banged on the metal tree. The boy found and grip on a hidden, small door and opened He it to find an old metal box with a few dusty switches. The twelve year old boy flipped the switches and heard something electronic and old open.     Dipper looked down at the ground, curious, and saw a hidden capartment in the ground with a journal inside of it. The old, torn up, red journal was covered in spider webs and millipedes with a golden hand with six fingers on it with the number three in the center.     "What the....?" He thought as bent down to pick to mysterious book up, but something large and heavy fell and hit Dipper hard on top of his head. "ACK!" Dipper cried as he fell from the impact, holding his head as he layed stomach first on the grassy forest floor.     His vison blurred in and out as he moaned and closed his young eyes. After a few seconds, Dipper opened his green eyes and stood up, feeling dizzy and, weird. Almost like he was inside a dream. He decided it would be as just a result of the impact and resumed his action of picking up the interesting looking journal, blowing off the dust and insects, and flipping through the pages. Chapter One Beep. Beep. Beep.    Dipper moaned and groaned as he shifted in the hospital bed, the rhythmic sound of a heart monitor in the background mixed in with the sounds of the Pines family and their friends.  "Wait-, what was that!?" "Is he waking up!?" "Call a nurse, quickly!"     Dipper heard all of the voices, but had a difficult time understanding them as they were all muffled. He slowly opened his eyes as a bright light shone in his face. He squinted and shuffled a little, wondering what had happened. The last thing that he knew, him and his twin had just arrived back in Piedmont, now he was in a hospital bed. Had there been an accident at the bus stop?    "Uggghhhh....." Dipper groaned and decided to open his eyes, dispite the bright lights. He slowly sat up, the simple action taking much effort, it felt like he had been asleep for a couple of months, but that couldn't be right.    "Wha.... What happened?" Dipper asked aloud, rubbing his eyes. "Where am I-?" Just then, the now thirteen year old boy was tightly embraced by his twin sister, who was crying on his shoulder. Dipper flinched, confused and slightly scared. "M-Mable?"       The girl looked up at him, smiling with wet eyes, "Mhm, welcome back, Dipstick!" She hugged him tighter as Dipper looked around at the other faces in the room. It was only Mable, Wendy, Soos, and Grunkle Stan.  Stan walked over to his great nephew and happily ruffled his hair. "Good to have you back, kid. We thought Mable was going to have to go back home without yo-"  "I wouldn't!!!"      "G-Grunkle Stan." Dipper said with a smile. He turned to his friends, smiling still. "Wendy. Soos. Um, what happened? And what did you mean that Mable would have to go back? Aren't we in Piedmont? The last thing I remember was the bus pulling up back home."     "Kid,-..." Stan began to say, he sounded concerned. "You-, you never left Gravity Falls." "W-w-wait, what?" "Dipper, you've been in a coma the whole summer." "WHAT?!"     Dipper's eyes widen as a doctor and a couple of nurses entered the room. "Pacient Mason Pines has awoken." The doctor said to one of the nurses who scribbled what he said down and rushed out the room. The remaining nurse had Mable step aside so that the doctor could examine Dipper.       "W-w-wait, I've been in a COMA?! All summer?!" Dipper said with fear as he backed up in the hospital bed. "What's wrong, Pine Tree? Scared of the fact that your family has no memories of the summer you know? You should of known that little mind-erase trick wouldn't keep me gone forever. I'm just surprised you remember. You always were special." A familiar voice whispered to Dipper, or Mason. He gripped his head and screamed. "AAAAAAAGGGGHHHHH!!!!! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!!!!!!'" "Dipper!!!" Mable cried. The tall doctor with hair so blonde it should be classified as neon yellow which is covering one of his yellow noded with a disturbing grin and said, "Its alright, most people have, unusual, reactions to certain things after waking up from a comatose. Something might have sparked a memory from the comatose dream he had, whatever it was." Mable nodded, happy with the doctor's answer. "Oh, and P--, Mason. You must be wondering what happened to you. Well, your family said that hat you were found laying unconscious on the forest floor. It is a good thing they found you, there are wolves in the woods. Oh, forgive me for not introducing myself sooner. You can call me Doctor Rehpic." Chapter Two      "Doctor Rehpic?" Dipper asked. "That's right." The doctor responded. "Doctor Rehpic is the one who has been watching over you this summer while you were out." Grunkle Stan said. Dipper looked, on the boarder of staring, at the blonde. He looked so familiar, but Dipper couldn't put a finger on it. He might have been able to if his mind was clear and focused. "Hey," Dipper said turning to his Great Uncle. "Where's Great Uncle Ford?" Stanley's eyes widened as he mumbled, "How do you know about him?..." The boy turned to his sister, "And Candy and Grenda, Pacifica even. Didn't you to become somewhat friends?" "Dipper," Mable said, worried. "How do you know those people? I don't know about any Grunkle Ford, but I do know a Candy, Grenda, and Pacifica. But, you've never met them." Dipper looked at his twin with a serious face, "Because I know I wasn't in a coma, that couldn't have been a dream! What I saw, what we went through! How could you forget?!" Dipper was getting worked up now, "The journal, our adventures with it! The bunker with the shape-shifter! The Northwest party with the Category 10 ghost! The pterodactyl that tried to take Waddles even though dinosaurs are extinct! Mermando! Your puppet show when Bill possesed me and tried to take the journal and destroyed the laptop! HOW COULD YOU FORGET?!" Dipper was screaming now and on the verge of tears. It couldn't have been fake, it was all to real. Plus, he didn't want it to be fake, any of it. Even Weirdmaggedon. He tried to climb out of the bed, but Stanley kept him down. "HOW COULD YOU FORGET THAT EVIL DEMON?! BILL TRIED TO KILL US ALL!!!! HE ALMOST DID TOO!!! WEIRDMAGGEDON, THE APOCALYPSE!!!! HE STARTED THAT!!! EVERYTHING! WE COULD HAVE LOST IT ALL BECAUSE OF HIM AND YOU CAN'T...EVen...... Remember...."     The "Doctor" had stuck a needle into Dipper's arm causing him to calm down and lay there, looking dazed. The Pines and friends were worried about Dipper, even more so after his outburst.      "Though it is rare," Rehpic began with a smirk. "This does happen in some cases. I believe that Mason was not angry at you, Mable, but merely scared and upset." "But why? He-.... He seemed so angry, like as if I'd forgot the most important thing in our lives. It almost seemed like he hated me." The girl said.    "Now, now, don't say that." He smirked some more, as if he knew something they were all oblivious to. "Sometimes, comatose dreams become so real to the dreamers that when the finally come out of their dreamscape, they denie the fact that it was all in there mind. Maybe, something very impacting happened in his mind that, no matter how horrible or upsetting it was, he doesn't want to be fake."    "You're probably right...." Mable said as Stan put a hand on her shoulder. Soos and Wendy were whispering to each other in the background, not wanting to get in the way of the family reunion. They stepped out into the hall as to discuss at a louder decimal.     "What do you think he meant by Weirdmaggedon?" Wendy asked. "I don't know, Dude. But it couldn't of been good." Soos replied. The two sighed. "How do you think he knew about Mable's friends? That's just, weird." "Dude, I know right. I mean, he was so convinced it was real, maybe it was and we ARE the ones who've forgotten, d'wag." "Really, Soos? That's not possible........ Is it?" Meanwhile, after Rehpic had injected the drug to calm Dipper down in the teen's arm, he finally got to talk to the familiar voice in his head. Wow, Pine Tree. That really was some outburst there! Shooting Star was as pale as a ghost! What a great way to say "Hello" after them thinking that you've been out cold for the whole summer! Ahahahahahahaha! It's hallarious seeing you pathetic humans so confused!  "What do you want, Cipher? How are you even here? We destroyed you!"  Oh, Pine Tree. You knew that wasn't going to work. That merely tried to send me back to my own demenision! But, since whenever I get into a petty little human mind like your own, some of myself  gets left in there, especially after possession. Ring a bell? "Wait, because if ME, you survived? How?! And, why doesn't anyone remember?!" AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You humans sure are dumb!  None of you were supposed to remember, but since I latched onto you while I was being "destroyed", you kept your memory while the rest of Gravity Falls didn't. Of course, if I happened to enter Sixer or Fez's head, there's a 50/50 chance of them rembering to. But since you DID remember, I decided to make everyone think you were in a coma so that when you "woke up", I could watch a little show. "WHAT?!" Uh-oh, seems that drug is warring off now, so it's time to kick back and watch the show! "W-WAIT, WE ARE NOT DONE YET!" Bye-bye, Pine Tree! Oh, and one more thing. Try saying Rehpic backwards~ Chapter 3 "Rehpic backwards?..." Dipper mumbled as he shook off the drug affects, his vision becoming b clear once more. He looked to his right to see the "Doctor" walking his twin and Grunkle out of the room. "Uh-, Mabel?" He asked confused. "Don't worry," Rehpic began. "You'll be able to see your family in a few minutes, I just need to ask you some questions." Dipper nodded, not trusting this mysterious man, and shifted in his bed as to back up as far away from him as possible, "Umm, a-alright..." He pulled a chair over and sat down by Dipper, " So, Mason, how are you feeling?" "Uh, c-confused. I-I also have a pounding headache..." Dipper replied, uncomfortable by the doctor's smile. The adult scribbled something down on a clipboard and continued to ask questions. "Body aches?" "No, just the head.." "Can you move everything?" "Yes." "Can you stand?" Slowly, Dipper moved to the edge of the bed and got up, "Yes.." He stumbled, getting use to standing again. He felt as if he really had been asleep for a month. "Good, good..." Rehpic said as he wrote down a few more things. He put the clipboard and pen down and stared directly into the young boy's eyes, "Now for some more psychological questions." "Do understand that it was a dream?" "I'm still getting use to that.." "Do you understand when it became a dream?" "Yes..." "Did anything traumatic happen in your dream?" "Yes, multiple events." "Did they happen to be memories of your real life." "...No...?" "Assaults?" "I guess you could say they were assaults..." "Sexual or violent?" "Violent." "Did you miss me?" Dipper flinched and completely lost his balance as he heard maniacal laughter in his head and gripped it tight, "AGH!!" After a few seconds the man helped him up, "Are you okay?!" The question didn't sound like concern as much as it did as mockery to him, "Y-yeah, I'm fine..." As the Doctor helped him up, Dipper finally read his name tag backwards: "Cipher" He stared at it for about a minute in silence, terrified. "Um, Mason? Are you alright?" Doctor Rehpic asked. Dipper snapped out of his fearful trance, more sure than ever that his "dream" was real. "U-Uh, y-y-yeah! I-I'm fine! Uh, q-quick question; w-when can I-I go home?" Dipper responded, wanting to get out of there as soon as possible. Dipper had to check out the woods around the Mystery Shack as soon as possible. "Well, after you being out for so long, we will need you stay over for one more night, just to make sure you'll be alright." Rehpic said as he got up and walked over to the door. "I'll let you rest for now and tell you're family that they can come back in a few hours. Our nurses will be checking up on you in a little bit." He nodded as he watched him walk away, sitting back down on the hospital bed. Just as the Doctor closed the door, he mumbled none last thing, "Eertenip, yats ruoy yojne..." Chapter Four Confused, Dipper said this sentence back to himself, "Ee-rt-enip, yats ru-oy yo-j-ne? What does that mean?..." Oh, Pine tree, I'd think you know what to decipher something you don't understand.. "Shut UP, Cipher!" Dipper yelled aloud as he shoved his head in a pillow, laying down as well. Aw, what's wrong, Pine Tree? "You! You're what's wrong!" Why, I am hurt by that! What did I ever do to deserve this kind of treatment? "HA! Where the hell do I begin?! How 'bout that you actually brought Hell upon me this summer?!" You're still mad about that? Tch, someone holds a grudge! "A grudge?! You expect to get over Weirdmageddon so quickly like that?! In case you were unaware, that happened a few days ago!!!" Sigh, you sacks of skin plasma and your easily traumatized brain. It can be a real pain, if you ask me. Though, it does make you easier to mess with you! "JUST SHUT UP ALREADY!!!" Dipper screamed as a nurse walked in. He didn't realize this until she spoke up, "E-excuse me, Mason Pines?" Nervous, Dipper sat up quickly, taking the pillow off his face, and said, "U-uh, y-yes?" "Are you alright? We heard you yelling, is everything alright?" "Y-yes, I'm fine, thank you..." Dipper said, trying to hide the fact that he was lying. "Well, alright then.." The nurse responded, unconvinced. "I'm just going to do a quick check up before I leave, is that alright?" Dipper nodded, "Y-yes, of course." The nurse came over by the hospital bed, checking his vitals, heart rate, brain waves, and other things. Once she was finished, she walked back over to the door and turned back to face Dipper. "Is there anything I can get you? Something to eat or drink?" She asked. "N-no, I'm okay, I'm probably just goi g to take a nap.. Thank you though.." He said as he pulled the blanket over part of his torso. "Alright then." She said as she turned and walked out the door. As she left, Dipper swore he saw her eyes change into familiar yellow cat eyes. "Uh-!...... Damnit.....!" He lied down, pulled the blanket up close to his face and began to drift off to sleep... ~Inside Dipper's Dream:Dipper's POV~ "Come on, Mason! Hurry up!" My twin sister yelled at me from across the park. "Coming!" I yelled back, running over to our favorite playing spot at the park from our car. Mom said we were still too young to play on the slides, so we liked to play catch by a hill. I ran over with the purple bouncy ball and tossed it at my sister, who didn't catch it. I smiled as she looked at me annoyed, "Hey! I wasn't ready!!" I laughed a little as she picked up the ball and threw it back at me. We played this for a few minutes, until Mabel decided it would be a good idea to throw it down the hill. "Oh no," she said. "The ball rolled down the hill... RACE YOU TO IT!!" Mabel then ran full speed down the hill, screaming, "WINNER GETS LOSERS ICE CREAM!!!" "No fair!!!" I yelled back at her as I ran after her. Half way down the steep hill, I tripped over a rock A tumbled the rest of the way down head-first. "Mason!!" Mabel yelled as she ran after me. When I finally reached the bottom, I was flat on my face, covered with dirt, grass stains, and a few cuts and bruises. I tried getting up, "Owww.....!!" "Are you okay?!" She said as she extend a hand to me. I rolled onto my back and reached for her hand. Just as I grabbed it, she changed. Suddenly, her hand was engulfed in light blue flames and she wasn't even a 'she' anymore! I felt my soul being ripped out of my body, a feeling I'd hoped to have never had to experience again. I was trapped in the mindscape once again and a familiar demon was possessing my vessel once again. He began laughing crazily as he got up, using my body as his little meat-puppet again. "N-no... No no no no NO!" ~Reality: Third person~ "NO!" Dipper screamed as he shot up, panting. "Only a dream.... Just a dream...." "The nightmares are still here, I guess..." He thought. Suddenly, he wasn't thinking anymore, but saying his thoughts aloud, "Why can't he just leave me alone?! Why is he always tormenting me?! Why did I have to make that damn deal?! Why?! Why why why?!" Pine Tree, Pine Tree, Pine Tree. Didn't I tell you? From the moment you and your sister were conceived, you were destined walk down this dark, weird road, just like Sixer. Only, you're too far down now to ever get a chance to turn back... Chapter Five -NOTE! I'm only a teenager, I don't have scientific knowledge so I'm just guessing this is what you do after a coma, I don't know! Don't take my word in any of this stuff!- "Mason Pines?" A nurse said walking into the room to see a sleeping patient. After a long fight with Bill, Dipper had finally fallen back to sleep. After hearing the nurse, Dipper began to stir, waking up again. He groaned as he slowly sat up, turning to the nurse with bad bed head, "Yes?....." "The Doctor will be in in a few minutes to give you one last check up, your prescription, and then you'll be able to go home." Dipper smiled, drowsy, "Oh, t-thank you.." The boy sat up and instinctively reached under his pillow for his journal, which he soon remembered wasn't there. Oh, right... I forgot about that... Dipper attempted to flatten down his two usual sticking up hairs with, once again, no success. However, he was able to relatively straighten out the rest if his hair, able to hide partial of his Big Dipper birthmark. The young one was sitting crossed-legged when Doctor Rehpic walked in with his clipboard and yellow pen. He was looking down at it first, checking on the boy's brain waves currently and from the previous night. The nighttime brain waves showed signs if distress and dreaming, making the conclusion that Dipper was having nightmares all through the night. The boy refused to make eye contact with the blonde man, knowing that there was something horribly wrong with him. Maybe he was Bill and maybe he was just being controlled by Bill, who knew? Eventually, Rehpic spoke to him, "Alright, everything looks fine, it just looks like you had a pretty rough night's sleep last night, am I wrong?" The boy nodded, "Y-yeah, I'm fine now though..." Oh, Pine Tree. Why are you lying so much? "Shut up..." Dipper mumbled. "Did you say something?" Rehpic asked. "N-no, I-I didn't.." "Alright then, you should be out of here by noon, so around two hours left. It'll only be your uncle coming to get you since your sister has to pack." Dipper finally looked at the blonde, confused. "W-what?.. Mabel's leaving?" "I'm sorry, but your parents required her to return home. If it weren't for the fact that we need to keep an eye on you and your condition, you'd be leaving, too." "B-b-but, she can't!" The boy said, knowing he wouldn't be able to survive going through this without his twin. "I'm sorry, but there is nothing I can do about it. You'd have to bring that up with your uncle and your parents." Dipper sighed, depressed. "....Did they ever come out here? Did they ever visit?" The doctor's expression didn't change as he replied with a single word that felt like a punch in the stomach, "No." "O-oh..." The boy said, looking down a bit. Rehpic didn't seem to care about Dipper's depression and only asked a separate question, "Before I leave, do you have any questions?" "No..." "Alright then, I'll be back with your uncle in a few hours. If you need anything, a nurse will come." The teen nodded as the adult walked on out. Ahahahahaha! Well isn't that just dandy! Even in this screwed up reality of yours, your parents still couldn't give a crap about you, could they? Eh, I guess they did always like Shooting Star more, but you already knew that! "Shut up, okay?! I don't care, just stop trying to make me feel horrible and terrorizing me!" Aww, is somebody angry with me? That's adorable! You're going to have such a wonderful time here with ol' Shooting Star, aren't you? You'll probably go insane by the end of September at max! Knowing you, it'll probably be sooner. "Shut up....." Who knows what the school'll be like for you, just look at your past experiences with it! It practically destroys you by itself! Ahahahahaha! I am going to have a great time watching this, aren't I? "I said shut up!..." Maybe you'll last two or three weeks, though I doubt the Northwest girl will do anything to help you. Despite the fact that she owes you, she wouldn't destroy her image just to pay back debt! Isn't it great to think about how nobody is going to be there for you or to even attempt to care about your feelings? Humans are so entertaining! "SHUT UP! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!" Ooh, it begins! "WHY?! WHY DO YOU KEEP DOING THIS TO ME?! WHY THE HELL CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?! I JUST WANT YOU TO LEAVE ME ALONE, IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR?! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU AND I JUST WANT YOU TO SHUT UP AND JUST VANISH AGAIN!!!......" After all the yelling, while gripping head incredibly tight, causing it to bleed slightly, and a few tears began to roll down his cheeks. "..Please.....!" He let go of his head, burying his head into his knees. He quietly allowed these tears to stream down for a while as Bill snickered and then became quiet, attending to separate demon business. Finally, there was a knock on the door. After these few hours pasted, the young boy had calmed himself down and just sat there, waiting for until he could go home. He answered the knock, sitting up straight, saying, "Come in.." "Hey there, kiddo. How you feeling?" Stanley said to his great nephew as he walked in with Doctor. "I brought you a little something, if you want it." The old man pulled out a blue Pine Tree hat out of his pocket and handed it to the boy. Dipper smiled, wondering if he was "in a coma" before he even got the hat that gave the demon an idea for a nickname. "O-oh, thanks!" Dipper said as he put the hat on, it felt right. He really did miss it, now he just needed his journal and then he'd feel at least a little better. Stan smiled to see his great nephew a bit cheered up after all of this, he'd been through a lot over the summer and Stan knew that the boy was still confused about everything that was happening. Dipper hung his legs off the side of the bed, about to attempt to stand up once more. He hoped that Stan had brought him a change of clothes so that way he wouldn't have to go back to the Shack in a hospital gown. The old man quickly went over to the side Dipper went to get out in to help him, very worried about his family. The boy tried to act like he didn't need his grunkle's help, but he did have a difficult time with his balance. "Well, Mason, you're all set to go. Your uncle already signed all your papers and we will send your prescription to your home by the end of the day." The Doctor began. "You'll need to take the blue pills three times a day until further notice, one after each meal. As for the liquid medicine, you'll need to take that right before you go to sleep at anytime until we tell you not to. You'll have a check up twice a week for the next month, and we'll see how you are from there. Take one pill after your dinner today if possible, but you'll definitely need to take the liquid before you sleep. If you continuously have disturbing nightmares or dreams relating to the ones you experienced in your comatose, contact so that way you can get another prescription to help with that." The other two in the room nodded, Dipper taking note in his head since he knew somehow his uncle would screw up the schedule. The doctor left the room after asking Stanley if he had any questions or concerns. The older Pines told Rehpic that at the moment, he didn't but he'd call immediately if he did. Once he was gone, Dipper asked if his uncle had brought any spare clothes for him to change into. "Oh, right. I think I left them in the waiting room actually. Want me to go grab them?" Stan had asked, not wanting to leave his great nephew alone. "Y-yeah, would you? I'd really like to change out of this gown...." Dipper replied as he tugged on the sides of it. Stan nodded as he walked out the door and into the hospital waiting room. Meanwhile, Dipper had sat down on his bed, a bit anxious about leaving. What if she was unable to find the journal again, would that make him crazy? What about Mabel, who knows when he'd be able to see her again. He wished they didn't have to leave, he was happier here then he ever was back in Piedmont since his parents were somewhat cruel to him in the sense that Mabel was treated better and with more love than him. Stan quickly returned with Dipper's usual orange shirt and grey shorts. He also had his black sneakers and socks along with some underwear since he hadn't been wearing anything under the hospital gown. He handed the teen his clothes, "Do you want me to step out?" Dipper took the clothes from his uncle, shaking his head. "I-its fine, I can change in the bathroom. Stanley nodded as Dipper walked into the bathroom and changed into actual clothes.

[kittykat-creations]

Mullet Man: The Small Lumber Town in Roadkill Country, Oregon

Previous Chapter --- Next Chapter

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"Mommy! Fly! Fly!"

"Yeah, that's a fly," Bella rolled her eyes, swatting the bug away. "Shoo."

"Shoo!" Marcella repeated, waving her hand.

"Ha! Good job, Marcella," Bella laughed. Marcella turned to see Ella climbing on the back of the couch and gasped happily.

"Sis'ah!" She exclaimed, pointing.

"Yup, that's sister," Bella said, standing up and lifting Ella off the couch. The toddler whined. "And she shouldn' be climbin' on the couch. Er the back'a the couch."

Stan entered the apartment, mail in his hand. He was staring at a postcard in shock.

"Somethin' wrong, Stan?" Bella asked.

"Ford... wants me to visit," Stan said, handing Bella the postcard. Written on it was 'PLEASE COME! -FORD' in large letters.

"Seems important," Bella said. "Are you goin'?"

"Well I'd like to, but I don't wanna leave you to take care'a Ella and Marcella by yourself," Stan said.

"So let us come with you," Bella reasoned. "I'd like ta talk ta Fidds. He hasn' been answerin' lately, an' I'm, kinda worried."

"You think we could take the twins along?" Stan asked. "It's a long drive."

"Keep 'em distracted, I... think we could," Bella nodded.

"Alright," Stan agreed. He smiled, kneeling down and hugging the twins. "You kiddos wanna visit your Uncle Ford?"

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Stan pushed the hotel door shut with his foot, carrying a sleeping Ella in his arms.

"Let's have them sleep on the couch," Bella whispered, holding Marcella, who was also asleep. The two of them laid the sisters down on the couch. They were already dressed in their pajamas, and had been asleep for hours. "Could ya go get my blankets, please? Ah'll stay in here with these two."

"Sure," Stan nodded and left the room. He soon returned with Bella's suitcase. He set it on the floor, pulling two smaller blankets out of the side pockets and wrapping the twins in them. Bella grabbed her own blankets and tossed them on the hotel bed. Her and Stan undressed and climbed into bed after turning off the lights.

"So why do ya think Ford... wants ya taaaa come up ta Gravity Falls?" Bella asked in a whisper.

"I have no idea," Stan murmured, wrapping an arm around his girlfriend. "Must be important, though, for him to want me to go all the way there. We haven't talked in ten years."

"Tha' alwa- that's always so sad to me," Bella frowned. "Maybe he wants ta make up."

"I hope so," Stan mumbled. "But somehow I doubt it."

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"Come on, arm through the sleeve," Bella said, putting Marcella's arm through the sleeve of her coat.

"Ella," Stan sighed in annoyance as the younger twin refused to cooperate. "Come on, you gotta wear the coat. It's cold."

"No!" Ella yelled. Eventually Stan was able to get the coat on the struggling toddler. Once he picked her up and held her out in the snow, she became distracted by said snow and stopped fidgeting.

"Ya've got the bag?" Bella asked, pulling her hood up and holding Marcella.

"Yeah," Stan nodded, lifting the strap of the baby bag over his shoulder. The family approached the front door, and Stan seemed to hesitate before knocking.

"Who is it?!" Ford yelled as he opened the door. "Have you come to steal my eyes?!"

A crossbow was aimed at them. Stan's arm was over Ella protectively and Bella had jumped backwards, pulling Marcella closer. Said toddler began crying.

"Well I can always count on you for a warm welcome," Stan deadpanned. Ford shook his head and looked between Stan and Bella in shock.

"What- Bella- what are you doing here?" Ford asked, pulling them inside. "Did anyone follow you?"

"Um, you called my boyfriend up, and Ah'm not takin' care'a two toddlers by myself," Bella rolled her eyes.

"And hello to you, too," Stan said sarcastically. Ford grabbed Stan and shone a mini flashlight in his eyes. "Ah!" Stan shoved him away. "What is this?!"

Ford shone the same flashlight in Bella's eyes. She blinked in confusion, but didn't shrink away from the light.

"Sorry, I just have to make sure you aren't..." Ford shook his head as he clicked the flashlight off. "Uh, it's nothing." He looked at Ella and Marcella, who both looked scared of him. "No, he wouldn't... Bella, you- Stan is your boyfriend?"

"Uh, yeah? Maybe if ya called every once in a while, ya'd know that," Bella grumbled.

"And... these two are...?"

"Jeez, you're denser than a brick, Ford," Stan rolled his eyes. "They're your nieces. Ella and Marcella."

"I... I have nieces?" Ford murmured. His look softened before going back to the way it was. "No. That doesn't matter right now." He pulled out a journal, leading Bella and Stan deeper into the house. "There isn't much time. I've made huge mistakes, and I don't know who I can trust anymore."

"Hey, uh, easy there," Stan frowned. "Let's talk this through, ok?"

"Stanley, I have something to show you," Ford said, shaking off the hand his brother had set on his shoulder. "Bella, could you wait up here, please?"

"Uh, sure," Bella frowned in confusion, taking Ella and the baby bag from Stan. "But-"

"Great. Stanley, follow me," Ford instructed, taking off down the hall.

"I guess I'll see you in a bit?" Stan said to Bella. He gave her a kiss before following his twin.

"Daddy!" Ella called, wiggling in Bella's hold.

"No, we're staying here, Ella," Bella said, setting the two girls on the floor. Marcella stayed by her mom, but Ella made to run down the hall. Bella grabbed her hand, leading her into the living room. Marcella climbed onto the couch, which was covered in clothes. "Yeesh, looks like Ford's cleanin' habits stuck with him.

"Mommy, Hun'er!" Ella requested, reaching for the bag.

"Alright, hold on," Bella said, digging through the bag. She pulled out a stuffed brown dog and handed it to the toddler. "There's Hunter. Now where could Fidds be?"

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Meanwhile, Stan and Ford were standing in the basement in front of a giant structure.

"There is nothing about this I understand," Stan said,

"It's a trans-universal gateway, a punched hole through a weak spot in our dimension," Ford explained. "I created it to unlock the mysteries of the universe. But it could just as easily be harnessed for terrible destruction. That's why I shut it down and hid my journals, which explained how to operate it. There's only one journal left. And you are the only person I can trust to take it." He handed a journal to Stan. The book was maroon and had a gold six-fingered hand cutout on the front. A black number 1 was in the center. "I have something to ask of you: you remember our plans to sail around the world on a boat?" Stan brightened and smiled at his brother. "Take this book, get on a boat, and sail as far away as you can! To the edge of the Earth! Bury it where no one can find it!"

Ford stood facing the portal with his back to Stan. Stan frowned in devastation before growling angrily.

"That's it?!" He yelled. "You finally wanna see me after ten years, and it's to tell me to get as far away from you as possible?!"

"Stanley, you don't understand what I'm up against!" Ford cried. "What I've been through!"

"You know what, Ford?! I don't give a shit!" Stan argued. "In case you haven't noticed, I've got a family! I can't just up and move across the country because you want me to! Do you know how hard it is to have two toddlers in a car for two days?! You have no idea what I've been through! I've been to jail in three different countries! I once had to chew my way out of the trunk of a car! You think you've got problems? Me and Bella are livin' in a one-bedroom apartment, Stanford. With two kids! Meanwhile, where have you been? Living it up in your fancy house in the woods! Selfishly hoarding your college money, because you only care about yourself!"

"I'm selfish?" Ford repeated. "I'm selfish, Stanley? How can you say that after COSTING ME MY DREAM SCHOOL?! I'm giving you a chance to do the first worthwhile thing in your life and you won't even listen!"

"Well listen to this!" Stan yelled. "You want me to get rid of this book? Fine, I'll get rid of it right now!"

He pulled out a lighter and lit it under the journal.

"No!" Ford cried, grabbing the book and trying to tug it out of Stan's hands. "You don't understand!"

Stan shoved Ford away.

"You said you wanted me to have it so I'll do what I want with it!" Stan snapped.

"My research!" Ford shouted. He tackled Stan, making him drop the journal. He ran for it, but Stan grabbed his ankle and tripped him. Stan grabbed the journal and ran off with Ford chasing after him. "Stanley, give it back!"

They ran into the control room and Ford shoved his brother against a panel of buttons.

"You want it back, you're gonna have to try harder than that!" Stan yelled. The portal crackled into life in the other room, but neither of them noticed. Ford got hold of the journal and Stan tried to pull it away. "You let me behind, you jerk! It was supposed to us forever, you made my life hell for six years!"

"You made your own life hell!" Ford snapped back, kicking Stan into a burning symbol on the side of the control panel. Stan screamed in pain and let go of the journal as the symbol was branded onto his back. He fell to the floor when Ford moved his foot. Ford stood up in a panic. "Stanley! Oh my gosh I'm so sorry! Are you alr-"

Stan suddenly punched Ford, causing him to stumble backwards and trip over a lever in the floor.

"Some brother you turned out to be," Stan growled. "You care more about your dumb mysteries than your family? Well then YOU CAN HAVE 'EM!"

He shoved the journal into Ford's chest, and he began floating towards the portal.

"Woah woah, hey, w-what's going on?" Stan worried. "Stanford-"

"Stanley! Stanley, help me!" Ford cried, looking in terror back at the portal.

"Oh no, what do I do?!" Stan cried.

"Stanley! Stanley, do something!" Ford begged. "STANLEY!"

He threw the journal at Stan right before he disappeared into the portal. A flash of white light filled the room, and when it cleared, Stan was laying on the floor.

"Stanford?"

Ford's glasses clattered to the ground.

"Stanford, come back!" Stan yelled desperately, running to the portal. "I-I DIDN'T MEAN IT!" He slammed his fists on the side of the portal, but it only shut off. Stan panicked and tried pulling the lever back and forth, but nothing happened. "I just got him back! I can't lose him again! Ah, come on! STANFORD!"

The name echoed around the room.