#stan ruby valentine for clear skin

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*Jade and Tori fighting in the kitchen* Ruby: can we get some waffles? Elise: can we please get some waffles?

FUCKSHSJGJSHE

cat, trina, and beck are sat there like “... yeah... we’re leaving the house now” take the kids to like. waffle house.

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Cat would probably buy another fake snow machine to use with the kids

LMAO YES. tori comes back home and there’s just snow in the yard and she doesn’t have the energy to get upset so she just says “as long as you don’t eat it”

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Ruby gets one of those drivable battery powered kid cars and accidentally runs into Heather and Cat’s all like “aww, Tori she’s just like you!”

I JUST GASPED— OH MY GOOOOOODDDDDDD

also please imagine like. 8 year old ruby accidentally slamming into toddler heather and the chaos that would ensue

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when i read "ruby jade valentine" i was caught off gaurd because of my WIP fanfic with an oc named ruby, jade, and cat in a polyamorous relationship

LMAOO sorry anon 😂 ruby’s just the blog name for one of cat and tori’s daughters

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Elise holding Ruby up who’s holding Heather up because all their parents put the candy on the fridge

i thought this was a lion king reference at first but this is SO MUCH BETTER

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Cat has to have the kids because she’s the dramatic one and wants to be able to hold it over tori for years to come. ‘I gave birth to your children the least you could do is make me a cup of coffee!’ ‘ I had your children and you don’t want to clean the bathroom!?’

tori: are you done yet?

cat: i BIRTHED your children— that’s EIGHTEEN MONTHS of PREGANANCY, FIVE HOURS IN LABOR

heather, coming down the stairs: what’s wrong with mom?

tori: i got the wrong brand of chicken nuggets

ruby, materializing our of nowhere like the cryptic she is: YOU WHAT—

cat: this is HERESSY OF THE WORST KIND

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Cat *giving birth*: YOU ARE HAVING THE NEXT ONE TORI VALENTINE Tori: the fuck I am, this is an only child family

LMAOOOOO— tori: bitch tf did u just say?? nice fucking try

as an only child, thank you, but also this is heather ERASURE i am SHOCKED .

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Cat and tori are both over protective and worry so much about every single thing ruby does and then there’s bade who ofc care and worry but let their pack of children run wild and just sit there vibin together while their kids are starting ww3 in the yard. Ruby being all ‘fine i’ll go over to auntie jade and uncle becks they’ll let me give myself a tattoo!’ And bade like woah honey we’re not that chill 😂

LMAO YES— cat and tori are definitely smothers nobody fight me

beck: we Are a house of freedom of expression here, but this is Not a lawless land

jade, nodding: i mean if i had my way it would... but apparently there’s something about children and knives that isn’t cool

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Beck after Elise was born: oh my god, Jade was so beautiful and string and amazing making this child Tori after Ruby was born: there was so much screaming and such a big mess, why did the doctor suggest cutting that *throws up in garbage can*

FUCKGSJSGAJS their kids are born in the same year & of course our fave chaos twins, beck and tori, would discuss and the absolute Contrast

“it was the most beautiful thing ever”

“I GOT SPLASHED WITH AFTERBIRTH .”

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Ruby Valentine is gender fluid. Whenever someone asks “what’s in your pants?” they just pull out candy like Cat does with her bra.

PERIODT

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What are the names and relative ages of all the kids? I want to do fun asks about them

okay so the oldest group of kids are ruby valentine (cat & tori’s daughter), alex vega (trina and willow’s son), and elise oliver (beck and jade’s daughter) i’ve always imagined them around their like late teens, so like 16-18, but elise is the eldest out of all of them (also i think people really liked the idea of ruby and elise dating)

then the next group is joseph oliver & eurydice oliver (the bade twins), william harris (robbie and andre’s kid), and heather valentine (cat and tori’s kid). they’re probably around 10-12. but they’re all born in the same year because apparently cat, jade, and robbie all being pregnant at the same time was something really funny to people on here and i agree

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Ruby: how come I’m never allowed to eat what mom and aunt Trina cook Tori: because you are my daughter and I love you very much

tori: i know it sounds like i’m lying but it’s for your own good i PROMISE

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Cat: just because mom accidentally hit an old lady doesn’t mean you can hit your sister with your play car Ruby: but why tho

“this is so unfair why does MOM get a patent on vehicular manslaughter, god”

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I feel like Tori’s the parent that has a hard time saying no because she doesn’t wanna see Ruby and Heather sad because it reminds her of her and Trina’s childhood

OW. ANON :(((

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Toddler Ruby and Elise “sword fighting” with scissors and Tori, Cat and Beck are freaking out and Jade’s all like “they’re having fun, that’s what’s important.”

cat: this is how accidents happen, we should stop them

jade: there’s nothing wrong with a healthy sword duel, god

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Tori: cat for the hundredth time you can’t dye a babies hair red! Cat: :( phooey Tori: she doesn’t even have hair yet

LMAOOOO— okay but once ruby & elise Do Have Hair,, cat and jade definitely dye their kids hair?? ruby’s got pink because duh, it’s cat. elise’s is blue or purple because she’s gotta match jade. they’re the Coolest toddlers at daycare nobody @ me