#stamping and crying and red in the face but no more magic to stress-eat. he just has to sit with the feeling. he has to learn to be Alive. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ebbpettier · 4 months ago

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i should clarify that i'm specifically thinking about the heart wrenching realization (this young boy and his shorn head and the bitter way he views the world, and magic, and simon) that simon had none of this. and that for all that the humdrum was a horrifying all-consuming maw ready to devour all of magickal creation to fill a hole in his starving cosmic scar of a body that would have never been filled, he's just a child.

AU where the humdrum gets pinocchio'd into a real boy (small young simon) and SOMEONE'S gotta raise him, so ... ruth. (originalsimon has complicated feelings by this child that may essentially be his son but is mostly his little brother who almost destroyed the magickal world)

#sometimes i read the humdrum's dialogue. and like #simon saying he was sorry the humdrum never got to see the good bits #and i think about how absolutely fucking tragic 2003 peter pan was to me #the laughing family and peter all alone on the cold windowsill #reassuring wendy at the end that he'd be fine on his own #the humdrum was born hungry #he's a child starved for everything a child is supposed to have. because he is Simon Snow.#and now ruth can give it to him but he doesn't even know how to be a person #i imagine him smashing plates and throwing tantrums that used to drive magickal creatures violently insane #but now it's just him and the wretchedness in his chest and the disregulation #stamping and crying and red in the face but no more magic to stress-eat. he just has to sit with the feeling. he has to learn to be Alive.#living things have to feel this way sometimes but people care and want to help #its a story deep in my soul abt a severely neglected kid with awful attachment issues and no coping mechanisms and anger #(gee tumblr user ebbpettier ANOTHER ONE its almost like you relate)#but its also a story about a parent who's child and grandchild were both fucking ripped away from them being given a second chance #a place for all the love to go #'grief is just love with no destination' and lucy is gone #but simon and the humdrum are both still here #and one of them is an adult learning to cope but the other is a child who needs her so much #anyway here's wonderwall

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