#stalker vibes

[mj-iza-writer]

Whumptober Day 9

Obsession - Broken Window - Bruises - "Frame me up on the wall, just to keep me out of trouble" (Fall Out Boy, Irresistible.)

Whumpee slightly opened their bedroom door and listened for any movements.

"I don't hear anything", Whumpee whispered to themself before opening the door farther and quietly stepping out into the hall.

They inched ever so cautiously down the hall until they stood in front of the door. The door that led to their freedom. Their exit from this maniac.

They took a deep breath and reached for the doorknob.

They screamed as an electric current coursed through their body.

Their stiffened body fell to the floor once the current was turned off.

"Yhmm, hmm, hm", Whumpee heard the deranged maniac hum.

They peeped an eye up. Their body shaking from the after shocks.

"Tsk, tsk", the person knelt down beside Whumpee, "whatever should I do with you. You're supposed to be asleep."

"You.... you... elec... electrified... th.. the... hmm", Whumpee fought for every breath.

"Of course I did", they reached down and pet Whumpee's head, "I allowed you a bit of freedom, but I didn't fully trust you. I guess my hunch was right when I decided to do this", they pulled Whumpee's head up to look at their face, "I suppose you ruined my trust. We have to go back to the shackles."

"Whumper please..."

"What did you call me?", Whumper threatened to slap Whumpee across the cheek.

"Ma-Master", Whumpee looked down, "I-I'm sorry, I was just wanting to smell the flowers outside. I didn't want to bother you for such a measly request."

"Right. So what is rule number five? I don't believe you, but what rule would have broken had you truly been going outside?", Whumper rubbed circles along Whumpee's cheek, "hmm."

"I'm not to go outside", Whumpee whispered, "without you."

"Yes. Plus we just picked flowers. They're in the vase on the table. I would have been very happy to catch you smelling the flowers. Though you should be asleep", Whumper scolded lightly, "shall we go smell them."

Whumpee weakly nodded, they hated the flowers. The only time they were allowed outside was when Whumper wanted to look over the garden or work in the garden. Whumpee had to be attached to a chain connected to the house when they were out like that.

Whumpee followed Whumper's lead and leaned into the flowers on the table.

They did smell good, Whumpee did have to admit, but not as good as freedom would smell.

"Let's get you back to bed" Whumper looked up at them after a few minutes.

"I'm not really tired", Whumpee looked down at the floor.

"Well, unfortunately, you have a bedtime that can not be ignored. You get cranky when you don't get enough sleep", Whumper sighed, "I'm not dealing with a cranky Whumpee."

"Master, you just sent an electrical current through my body, and you want me to sleep after that? My body is still shaking from that charge", Whumpee hissed.

"Watch your attitude, and I didn't send anything through your body. That wouldn't have happened had you been asleep like you were supposed to be. Or at least not trying to leave", Whumper sighed, "I suppose you won't fall asleep now. At least not without a little help."

Whumpee turned and tried to run, but Whumper already had a death grip on their wrist and was pulling them in for a hug.

"Stop fighting me", Whumper warned, "just give in. It's a lot less painful for you."

"Please. I was out for three days from the last time you drugged me", Whumpee pleaded, "I don't want to be unconscious around you for that long."

"I will take care of you, don't worry about that", Whumper spoke in a creepy voice, "you're my sweet toy."

"Let me go, you creep", Whumpee yelled as they fought.

"Oh stop it.... STOP IT", Whumper let go and let Whumpee fall to the floor.

Whumpee gasped for the air that was knocked out of them.

"You know better than to fight me", Whumper reached down and grabbed Whumpee's ankles and started to drag them toward their bedroom.

"No", Whumpee huffed, "please."

"You know I love you, and I know what's best for you", Whumper grunted.

"No you don't", Whumpee cried out, "you kidnapped me. You are holding me captive."

Whumper continued to drag Whumpee, "you'll spend the night shackled to the wall. Just to keep you out of trouble."

Whumpee was restrained in a set of shackles that Whumper had welded into the brick wall of their bedroom.

Whumper came in carrying a cup, "here, drink this."

"I don't want to. Please let me have some sort of dignity", Whumpee looked at the cup.

"It's not laced. I know you get thirsty when you're upset", Whumper held the cup closer, "I'll give you the sleep medicine in a few minutes to help you relax. I didn't mean to make you so upset."

Whumpee nodded before leaning forward to the cup.

Whumper held a napkin under Whumpee's chin to catch any stray water.

"I do love you", Whumper repeated as they stood, "I know you don't like that fact, but you are mine. You can hate me all you want, that's fine, but I'm obsessed with you. That will never change."

"I just... I just wish you would give me a little bit more freedom. I know I messed up tonight, but I just don't want to be inside all of the time", Whumpee sighed.

"You go outside with me all of the time", Whumper frowned.

"Only to the limit of my chain. I want to go out out. Like shopping or just for a drive", Whumpee looked down at the floor.

"You'll draw attention to us. I don't trust you like that. Not yet, at least", Whumper sighed.

Whumper came back with the medicine.

"I don't want that. Please. I'll try hard to go to sleep", Whumpee looked up at Whumper with soulful eyes.

Whumper made a judgemental glare, "and you're expecting me to trust you."

"Please.. I-I don't won't the medicine", Whumpee whispered.

"To bad, I don't want you to be awake anymore", Whumper knelt down, "you can take the medicine nicely, or I'll pry your mouth open."

Whumpee set their lips tightly and looked up at Whumper defiantly.

"You're a real piece of work tonight", Whumper got up and left the room.

Whumpee already knew they wouldn't win. Whumper would get the medicine in them one way or another. They were not about to make Whumper's life any easier though.

Whumper came in carrying an o-ring gag.

Whumpee lowered their head, and became as rigid as they could.

"You're being ridiculous", Whumper knelt down and again. The gag in one hand. The other hand now empty, "I'm giving you a stronger dose because of your behavior. You could have just had a benadryl, but no."

Whumpee still kept themself as tight as possible.

Whumper reached up and pinched Whumpee's nose closed. Their fingers squeezed tightly to close the nostrils.

After a few moments, Whumpee began to shake their head and body to get Whumper to let go of them. They kicked and struggled against Whumper.

Whumper only watched. A bored expression lined their face.

"All of this because you couldn't stay in bed. You literally could be in your warm bed right now", Whumper pointed out.

Whumpee gasped loudly.

Whumper quickly held Whumpee's mouth open and forced the ring in between Whumpee's teeth. Whumpee was then forcibly pulled down, so Whumper could buckle it.

"Ow", Whumpee complained.

"Could have been avoided had you behaved", Whumper sighed.

Whumper left again and this time came back with the medicine.

Whumpee continued to fight against the restraints.

"You're acting like a rabid animal", Whumper looked down at them with a sad expression, "let's have you settle down."

Whumpee's head was pulled back, and Whumpers dropped one pill into the back of Whumpee's throat, then a small bit of water.

Whumpee head was lowered slightly so they would swallow.

Whumpee struggled for a moment before the medicine went down.

They fought their head out of Whumper's hand and leaned forward to choke.

"You can take the second one like a normal person if you want. You know, since you were talking about dignity earlier", Whumper held up the pill.

Whumpee stared angrily up at Whumper. A stream of drool pooled down their opened mouth.

"Yuck", Whumper reached for a tissue and wiped Whumpee's face, "I suppose you're choosing the hard way."

Whumper sighed as they pulled Whumpee's head back, "always the difficult one", they followed the same method: pill, water.

Whumpee leaned up and choked again.

"Annoying", Whumper unbuckled the gag and started to remove the it,"always have to choose the difficult way."

"I hate you.... I HATE YOU", Whumpee yelled.

"That's fine, but I will always love you", Whumper chuckled.

Whumper came in and checked on Whumpee.

Whumpee was still somewhat awake, but their eyes were glossed over. Drool dripped from their lips. Tears stained their cheeks.

Whumpee looked up when they saw Whumper come in front of them.

"Hu", Whumpee whined, "huuuu... gg... peas-hmmm?"

"Yes, you can have a hug", Whumper reached for the keys and unshackled Whumpee's arms.

They picked Whumpee up and carried them to bed.

Whumper held Whumpee close in a hug until their heavy eyed finally closed.

"I'm sorry Whumpee, maybe one day you will get use to this. Then I won't have to drug you", Whumper sighed as they brushed some hair out of Whumpee's face, "until then we will deal with your tantrums, and I will give you all of the hugs you want. That's my dream at least."

Whumper laid Whumpee in their bed and covered them up.

"You'll be unconscious for a few days again, so I'll have to remember keep a close eye on you to make sure you are okay", Whumper leaned in to move away some hair from Whumpee's face again, "you are my sweet Whumpee. You think I like hurting you?"

Whumper watched for a few more minutes before deciding to go to bed themself.

Nothing else to do since Whumpee was unconscious now. They were less fun to play with like this.

Taglist. As always please let me know if you want to be added or taken off of the list. It's not a problem at all.

@villainsandheroes @the-beasts-have-arrived

@sacredwrath @porschethemermaid

@monarchthefirst @generic-whumperz

@bloodyandfrightened @freefallingup13

@notpeppermint @cyborg0109

@idontreallyexistyet @painfulplots

@whumpbump @everythingsscary

@skittles-the-whumpee @expressionless-fr

@theforeverdyingperson @legendarydelusiongoatee

@candleshopmenace @whumpanthems

@lavndvrr @ivymyers

@starfields08000 @a-living-canvas

@lumpofsand @watermeezer

@indigoviolet311 @whumpy-mountains

@3-2-whump @risk606

@electrons2006 @paperprinxe

@whumprince @kaz-of-crows

@mis-graves @decaffeinatedtimetraveler94

@sausages-things @ragin-cajun-fangirl

@isikedmyself878 @daffyduckcommittedtaxfraud

@valravnthefrenchie @glennemerald

@jasperthecapser @does-directions

@deafeninglittlecrown @jumpywhumpywriter

[leonkennedygvrl]

The Beauty of Embalmment.

re2r neighbour leon kennedy x vampire fem reader

💋 warning — 18+, biting, blood kink, stalking, cannibalistic thoughts, necrophilia, gore, weird stuff, dick biting, just lots of biting, marking, p in v, forced orgasm, mentions of self harm, virginity loss, leon’s 27 but re2, reader is 30, reader is really weird and icky, dead fucking dove guys seriously it’s gross and all of that so mind what you read!

Cold and dark. This was your type of night, surrounded in the stench of decay in a room where only a faint buzz would emerge and abolish the silence. You’d open a fridge, stare quite blankly at the feet of someone with a tag hooked to their toe. This was a man, you’d only gotten him yesterday. He could do with a little bit of… corrupting, as they’d say.

Pulling his tray you guided him to the middle of the room, washing your hands in the sink, nails razor sharp before covering them with blue gloves. You had thought about filing them down, after all scratches leave DNA, DNA leads to evidence and that leads to jail time. Oh well, as long as you got your fill there as well.

See, the life long dream you had was to become a surgeon. Cut into bodies and remove abscesses and all those types of bits and bobs but luck was never on your side because you were a little different or a lot and who would ever trust a leech near a body? So instead, you became a mortician. There’s no point in trying to feast on a corpse, there’s a word for it but what’s it called… rigor mortis? No, not that one. You had studied it in forensics so long ago. Livor mortis, that’s the one. Blood didn’t taste good post-lividity, just bland and bitter and you were picky.

Being a vampire meant nobody in the world was attracted to you, that’s why you undressed corpses and touched their cold bodies. You covered their face for their diginity (?) more like to satiate your delusions that you were a better person.

This guy, you’d looked at his name on the tag, Edward with a long surname that you couldn’t be bothered reading. Hm, he was a little green settling into bacteria, scrawny and lifeless. His body stiff but to your dismay his dick was flaccid, and small. And ugly. It looked like a worm, but you’d have to make do. You stroked it, feeling no sense of arousal because he wasn’t packing many inches! You liked a big dick, or even average. Edward was perhaps… four inches?

“Edward, you must’ve had little women on your dick.” You mumbled dazed, you were kind of angry at him. Why was he so small? You hated it. You retracted your hand and pulled the cover off of his face, he was cute. Must’ve been Balkan, his nose was big. Maybe the saying was false, because his dick wasn’t much. “You need to be punished, Edward.”

You’d reached into your coat, pulling out a pretty pocket knife the blade rusted slightly. You’d used this a few times as a teenager, mutiliating your wrists because it looked nice and you liked the taste of your own blood. Then on some corpses, just like right now. You moved back towards the phallus, pressing the sharp edge of the knife against his foreskin and digging deep, sliding down. His blood flow was halted so it oozed out in a way you didn’t enjoy.

But his dick opened like a lotus flower blooming the more you cut into it, you observed the muscles and how limp they looked. This man was a mistake, he deserved to die. Half an hour in, you’d searched every nook and cranny until you were bored and he was unrecognisable — his organs hanging out, your pocket knife gripped in your hands as you slid down against the wall and brought it to your lips.

Just taste good, for once. You were hungry. Starving. Your tongue darted out and swiped across the blade, eyebrows frowning at the bitterness. The blood was clotting and thick, you much preferred the smooth silky texture of an alive person’s one. Sigh. Sigh. Sigh. You packed everything up and went back to your gloomy apartment where you wallowed in self-pity.

You needed wanted blood. And dick. Good dick.

Oh, hail to the universe. The guy you were looking at, he was just… delectable. Could you say that? Boyish, strong-looking and alive. He wasn’t too pale, he looked warm. Mm. Warm blood. His thick forearms were straining as he held boxes, he was your new neighbour. You just stared at him while standing in the doorway of your apartment. Thick veins, more blood. Pulse, pulse, pulse. Your pussy was screaming in her panties, she wanted that boy.

You couldn’t describe how you felt, he was tall but not too tall, his hair was soft-looking and a pretty colour of dirty blonde with eyes resembling an azure sky. But what got you the most, apart from how warm he looked, was his sharp features. A bump on the bridge of his upturned nose and brows bushy yet groomed, his jawline chiseled. Perfect. God, you wanted to po—

“Hey there, mind opening the door for me please? My hands are in a bunch.” He said to you. He spoke to you. The fucking psycho who got off to dead bodies because she was so miserable in her own despondency. You watched his face contort intoperplexion, waiting for you to respond instead of standing there like a shunned fish. “Or… not.”

“No I can.” You rasped, scurrying in front of him and twisting the knob open. He smiled, a lively look in his pretty eyes. Life. Not dead. Not empty and dull. Not smelly. He smelt good. Oh, so good. Heightened senses meant you could smell the sweet coppery scent of his blood mixed with his odor of… maybe pine? Cherry? Nah, it was like citrus. Like Mountain Dew. He walked into his apartment and dropped the boxes, wiping his glistening forehead.

“Hey, thanks. You’re my neighbour right?” Leon asked with a tilt of his head, he could tell you were a bit weird and initially he took the hint that maybe you were austistic with the way you lacked social skills. Oh, that’s mean and downright disrespectful. He took it back. You were pretty though, something about you. He didn’t know what though.

Nod. Nod. Nod. Almost too eagerly, you cursed yourself but you didn’t fucking care! You wanted his blood, his body, all of him. And if he didn’t want you, then it’s alright. Straight to the morgue. Unless…

Unless say, he magically died and ended up in your care? Though you hoped he wouldn’t be as small as Edward. You know what they say about white guys. You heard him speak again but you honestly weren’t paying much attention.

Eon. Your expression became bashful, your brain was fried. You needed blood. Eon? Oh. Leon.

“Leon? Nice. I like that.” You blurted out and gave him a once-over, and he flushed. He wasn’t good with women. Especially forward ones. It’s the way you stared at him. “I like your name. Do you want help?”

“I mean, with unpacking? Yes, please.” He replied, watching as you moved to inspect his boxes. He followed after you, doing the same. It was a little awkward if he was being perfectly honest because whenever he looked at you, you weren’t looking. You were thinking. But what were you thinking about? Who were you? Why were you so surreal?

“So… have you lived here a while?” Leon asked, grabbing numerous glass cups and shoving them into a cupboard. He wasn’t a neat freak, he just wanted things out of the way. He noticed you took more time observing his items then actually putting them away. Weird…

“Born and raised. It’s a bad town, too subfusc. Did you notice it lacks bars everywhere? It’s industrial, cold and depressing.” You replied with a shrug, the next item you held was a frame. Of Leon. Must’ve been his graduate photo, with the outfit and all as you ran your index finger down the line of his face. Sharp nail grazing the glass. So pretty. So handsome. He had the type of head you’d hang on your wall.

Leon listened to you, yeah, you were weird. But he chuckled. It was kind of endearing. He hoped you’d put the photo away though, that’s when he had acne and his eyebrows were hairy. A beautiful girl like you shouldn’t look at that, shouldn’t see the bad phases. “Really? And here I was thinking it was the perfect vacation spot.”

No laugh. As expected, he sucked at jokes. But you were just so focused on the photo, only the slightest little hint of a crooked smile appearing. He watched you shake your head, finally meeting his gaze.

“No, it’s horrible. Even this apartment, my pet bunny got dismembered by teenagers three years ago. On Halloween. So I don’t celebrate it anymore in honour of Mrs. Tinkel.” Oh, there it was. You watched the discomfort creep onto his expression. Maybe, if you were a little smarter, you would of kept that to yourself but hunger meant stupidity. Blood kept you sane. Sort of. If you could even keep an insane person sane.

“That’s… um, wow.” Leon breathed, clearing his throat. Maybe it was best to end the topic because you’d turned away and eventually most of the house was done. He thanked you for your help and closed the door once you exited. You still wanted his attention though, you debated cutting open your wrist like old times just so he could pamper you. But you didn’t. You figured he was creeped out enough.

That day plagued your mind for the following week, you worked night shifts only — hey, how else can you make it through as a nocturnal? So every evening, you rugged up, left your apartment but with the new addition, you’d stand right outside Leon’s door for a minute or two and stare. Just stare. Then you’d walk away and take several trains to the morgue. Do your deed, go home, sleep and repeat.

But during the day? Apart from a short nap, you started to watch over Leon. It was compulsive, you weren’t bored at all like normal. Your heart didn’t feel so cold, unless of course you weren’t watching him. Everything he did, you were writing it down in your brain, at the beginning it was just watching him through the window.

Although recently you started walking behind him in public spaces, taking photos with your flip phone. Yeah, they were grainy and kinda shit but you couldn’t be bothered upgrading it’s not like you cared about the media at all. If your eyes had good vision, why would you need a camera?

What bothered you was how Leon hardly spoke to you apart from the occasional greeting, was he really that pressed when you’d told him about your bunny? It’s not like you dismembered the poor thing. Some sicko did. See, you weren’t a sicko even if you harassed dead bodies. You were just… curious? Hungry? Dahdahdah, who cares. You needed to find a way to get him to speak to you again, and a rather silly idea popped into your head.

When the sun went down you journeyed off to the morgue and moved into the cold room, flicking through the fridges. You had so many goddamn females and with what you were planning, that simply would not work. The only male you had in stock was no other than fucking… small-dicked Edward. You shoved door open and pulled the trolley out, washing and gloving your hands before grabbing your trusty best friend.

The squelches that resonated from the corpse when you sliced into his chest accompanied that buzzing noise, the laceration splitting open wide until you saw his ribcage. You brought your fist down onto the fairly weakened bone and punched, again and again and again. The crunching was so… comforting. You severed the aorta carelessly and then shoved your hand into his chest, ripping the heart out.

You’d box it up, make it all nice and pretty and write a HEART warming letter. If Leon would, mind the smell, that is. You were eager, desperate at this point, you squeezed the organ a bit in your hands before moving to properly wash it. Hey, at least you were considerate.

And the very next day you knocked on Leon’s door, to your surprise he answered quickly. Yeah, you could have orgasmed right then and there. He had sweats on with a small towel draped over his shoulders, his hair slightly damp and he smelled as good as he always did. You quite literally resisted the urge to pounce on him.

“I got you a present. A gift.”

Leon’s eyebrow raised, looking down at the box in your hands. You’d need a lesson or two on learning how to wrap ribbons, but he was no expert himself. Props to you. He smiled. “You didn’t have to.”

You did. You did. You absolutely did.

He opened the door a little wider, ushering you inside with a wave of his hand. Large, calloused. You wanted to sink your fangs into his fingers. Nibble on his flesh, you imagined how good he’d taste. Fresh meat. But he was too perfect to die.

When you’d made yourself comfortable on his couch you handed him the gift with a smile that didn’t quite your eyes, you avoided toothy grins so that you didn’t need to deal with the inevitable consequence of people freaking out at the sight of your canines.

“Read the card first.” You muttered quickly, he needed to understand that you weren’t were insane. Just loving. And caring. And thoughtful. Leon nodded, pressing his lips together as he fingered the card and opened it up.

I am only responsible for my own heart, you offered yours up for the smashing, my darling. Only a fool would give up such a vital organ.

You every reaction he made, which was mostly a sense of mystification. But hey, no negatives so far. Your noticed a pain in your palm from how hard your nails were digging into the skin. Were you really this anxious?

“Wow, that’s uh…” Leon began with a dry chuckle, looking at you briefly before putting the note down and opening the box.

His eyes went wide. Not in the best way. You frowned, no; he has to like it. You did it all so he could like it. But he was frozen. Why was he frozen? After all the effort you put into it? Was he ungrateful? Did you read the signs wrong? It’s just an organ. Just an organ. A vital one.

“What… the hell?”

“It’s a heart.”

“I can see that.”

You tilted your head, you loved him. This wasn’t just some obsession. You felt a warmth around him.

“It’s clean. I didn’t murder someone,” You figured it’d be important to mention that. Though, would mutiliating a dead body be considered unlawful killing? Whatever. You moved to him, pushing the box to the ground. Baring your teeth, he gasped lightly at the sight of your fangs. Razor sharp, like your claws. “Nobody could ever love you like I can, Leon. You’re all I think about, all I know. I’m not dangerous, I just want a taste.”

“A taste? You’re—“ He tried, but was quickly interrupted when he felt your hot breath ghosting across his neck. He internally slapped himself, every woman he met was a bit cuckoo in some sort of way but why did he feel a pulse in his pants? It had to be some natural reaction because A: you happened to be attractive. B: You smelt nice. C: You were close to him. “God, you’re not going to kill me are you?”

“Taste.” You whispered, hand pressing onto his knee to keep him grounded. “It’ll hurt.” You sunk your fangs beside the two bite-shaped moles near his adam’s apple, his body convulsed as he groaned and attempted to push you off for a moment. No, you really were glued like a leech as you retracted your teeth and licked the blood.

Oh, it had to be the sweetest you’ve ever had. Your pupils dilated, blowing out your iris as Leon panted. He didn’t know why he was letting you do this, you were clearly a bit mental but at the same time… maybe he liked it, just a little bit. Old virgin boy like him was quite the pervert behind closed doors, so he let you mark him. His shoulders, chest, thick biceps, fingers, anywhere you could name.

“You’re draining me.” He whispered, blue eyes narrowed as he watched you crawl down his body. His dick was so hard it hurt and you gazed at it like you were starstruck.

“You taste too good.” You mumbled, fingers hooking into his sweatpants and underwear and shoving them down to his knees. He jolted, feeling the cold air hit his cock like a miasma. You were convinced you’d won the lottery at this point, he wasn’t small. His girth really got you going, so much flesh to play with that you weren’t feeling so tedious anymore.

Your lips were a little red from the blood as you lapped at the head of his cock, his thighs visibly tensing. He’d never felt something like that and mark him the biggest liar if he claimed to hate it, the way you swirled around his frenulum like you knew what you were doing. Although, thoughts might beg to differ if he discovered you’re a necrophilic.

“Fuck, it’s—“ Leon breathed with a rasp, his fingers tapping the couch in sensitivity. The sensations were so strong and when you finally wrapped those soft lips around his dick, he’d melted into a puddle of goo. Just like his brain. Absolutely mush as strings of whines left his lips and he trembled and twitched.

You loved it. But you wanted to take him by surprise and finally listen to that intrusive thought as you pulled him out, took him way back to the base and then out again. You licked the side of his dick, extracted your fangs and dug them into the meat.

“N–no! Fuck, fuck!” Leon cried out, quickly entangling his fingers into your hair as pain overrode his pleasure and he clenched his eyes shut. The stinging was almost too much to bare on such a sensitive area, it was like plucking hair on his balls. He pulled at your hair in return but you were latched on, moaning against his flesh. You were just addicted to the taste, it was indescribable. But at the same time, you felt ws though you genuinely liked him and you didn’t to cause him too much pain you did.

Unhooking your mouth, you lapped at the blood as his grip relaxed a little bit but tears were imbedded into his lashline as he shuddered. You cooed softly, moving back up and situating yourself onto his lap.

“Didn’t mean to hurt you… you just taste so good,” You whispered, lacking sincerity as you kissed away his tears and he sniffled, cock semi-hard but throbbing at your touch. “I’ll make you feel so good now, you get that? C’mon, talk to me.”

“…Okay… alright just… no more biting, please.”

You laughed, licking any residue off your lips. He’s crazy if he thought you’d ever stop, you’d gotten a taste and you were hooked. He should stop feeling sorry for himself because you’re the victim here! You haven’t had a meal in ages, yet he feeds himself every nighr. You scoffed at the mere thought of humans.

“Mm, maybe. I’ll think about it.” You murmured, kissing along his jawline. “Are you a virgin, Leon?”

He flushed, pinkness coating the bridge of his nose as he turned his gaze downcast. How embarrassing to have to admit himself. He nodded, but you loved that. He was pure, untouched. Waiting for the right one, for you.

“Knew you were just perfect.” You sighed, shimmying your pants off until you were in your underwear. Basic nanny jammies, you don’t go shopping often. You’re a wacko, your routine is just sleep and work. Leon glanced at them, it was a little funny but so was the fact that he was nearing his thirties and still a virgin. His breath hitched when you sandwiched his thick cock between your folds through the cotton material, so soaked your pussy pressed straight through.

“Oh, God. You’re soaked.” Leon murmured in awe, his big hands moving to grasp your hips and pull you into that front and backwards movement at a faster pace. Your clit constantly being stimulated made your eyebrows arch inwards as a series of moans joined upon his. You nodded along, he had that effect on you. “Fuck, please. I need to feel you.”

He was begging? That’s cute. Your eyes were half-lidded, pleasure had a tendency to making you a bit dozy. So did good blood. You’ve had a fucking feast and the bite marks all over his body and his dick were satisfying, like an artist painting a blank canvas. You slipped your panties to the side, grinding the tip against your entrance until he was writhing.

Then slowly, you sank down. The stretch took you a little by surprise, eliciting a small gasp as your gummy walls clenched around his cock the further you went. He threw his head back, panting hard as you officially took his virginity. You didn’t give yourself time to adjust, grinding and bouncing on his lap as he squirmed and sobbed hoarsely, you didn’t think he could look so pathetic.

“Feels good, hm?” You asked, kissing down the column of his neck and sinking your fangs into it again. At the same time, you had tightened up when his blood oozed into your mouth making him groan and buck his hips, the pain mixing with pleasure God he was feeling too much at once. The base of his dick felt immediate pressure that just wanted to burst.

He nodded, and nodded. You were such a crazy bitch but your pussy was good, though he was dizzy. You were gonna kill him if you took anymore blood, but you were selfish and he felt like he was too. Then you took him away completely when you moved your hips in a circular motion, your ass rubbing against his balls making him twitch uncontrollably.

“Fuck… I—I’m cumming—“ Leon whispered, his eyes fluttering closed as you forced an orgasm out of him — it was all too much for him to bare and you sighed in satisfaction, his cum squirting inside you until you convulsed and reached your high. Milky droplets of orgasm slipping down his cock as he passed out and you sniffed along him, the musk of his sweat was nice.

“Mm, I’m keeping you.”

lord, that was long. thank you to anyone who reads and anyone who reblogs/comments ❤️

[yeetus-feetus]

Quick give me all the songs you know with stalker vibes! I'm making an unhinged TimBerKon playlist!

[savamava]

Creep | Sebastian SDV x OC

Sebastian is 100% a pervert stalker in this. I personally hate writing y/n so I made an OC. This is my first post on here so idrk what I'm doing. I'm probably gonna do a part 2 or make this into a little story. Idk we'll see.

Warnings: stalking, pervert behavior, masturbating, mentions of smoking, maybe that's it??

Word count: 1.5k

Sebastian is a creep. He understands that what he's doing is wrong, but he just can't help it. He can't help himself, especially when the new farmer is so young and pretty.

~•~•~•~•~

When Sebastian found out that a new farmer was moving to Stardew Valley, he wasn't expecting much. He thought it would be another old man. But when a pretty brunette walked up to introduce herself one Friday night at the saloon, he was taken aback. She was shorter than him by almost a foot, with freckles adorning her adorable face. She introduced herself as Bee. She was definitely not what he was expecting.

That wasn't a bad thing, though! But Sebastian knew he had to keep his distance. He knew that if he got close to the new farmer he'd want her, in more ways than one. So he ignored her.

This didn't go over well... Bee stopped him anytime she saw him. Every single time, he couldn't stop himself from raking his eyes over her body, taking in her curves and the soft details of her face. He wouldn't even listen to what she was saying half the time, he'd be too distracted by the way her lips moved when she spoke, the way she stepped closer to him when she became too enthusiastic about her new farm, how delicious she smelt when the wind wafted her scent towards him...

God, he needs to stop. Even thinking about her now, in the comfort of his room, has him reeling. He wants to see her, to talk to her. His programming can wait.

It's late, almost midnight according to the clock displayed at the bottom of his computer screen. Despite this, he gets up and throws on a hoodie. He tiptoes up the stairs, scared that his mom or Demetrius might catch him. Or even worse, Maru.

Perfect little Maru has become friends with her. Of course she has, she has to please everyone. Sebastian scoffs at the idea of them hanging out, jealousy fueling his urges to see Bee. He wants to be friends with her, he really does. He's just so scared that his creepy intentions will come to light and she'd be scared off. This thought obviously doesn't occur now, as he's walking through the mountain trail and down towards her house.

He takes in his surroundings, he hasn't been to this farm since she's moved in. There's a chicken coop and a silo at the far side of the farm, and a small area is sectioned off for her crops. He admires all the hard work that she's put into this farm. He remembers how overgrown it was before, thinking about the times that him, Abigail and Sam would roam the abandoned field and have smoke seshes in the empty house.

Sebastian can't believe he's doing this. Reality sets in and he quietly laughs at himself. He almost turns around to go home. Almost.

He quietly walked up the steps of the farm house, cringing at the creaks from the old floorboards. He almost went for the door, hand hovering above the doorknob, but he hesitated. She might wake up if he wriggles the knob. He pulls his hand back and steps towards her window. It was cracked open.

Sebastian smirked to himself, slightly pushing the window up. It surprisingly didn't make a noise, sliding up with ease. He glanced up through his eyelashes, pushing his hair out of his face. She's still asleep. He carefully climbed through the window, holding his breath as he kept his eyes on you. He was half expecting her to open her eyes, but she didn't.

He noticed an orange cat sleeping at the end of the bed and smiled, refraining himself from petting it. The cat was quickly forgotten when Bee made a noise, turning over and facing him. Her eyes didn't open, it seemed like she was still fast asleep.

Sebastian noticed the very, very thin slip dress she was wearing and sucked in a sharp breath. He eyed the way her chest rose and fell with each breath she took, noticing how her nipples were perked up from the slight chill in the spring air. He wanted so badly to reach out and touch her, to fondle her tits and pinch her nipples, to put them in his mouth and suck on them until she begged him to stop, to give her more.

Sebastian is a creep. He understands that what he's doing is wrong, but he just can't help it. He can't help himself, especially when the new farmer is so young and pretty.

Sebastian let out a quiet, barely audible moan. His eyes wandered lower, to her stomach, then down to her thighs. They looked so soft. He brought his hand down to his crotch and palmed his hardening cock over his jeans. His knees almost buckled at the sensation. He closed his eyes, imagining it was Bee that was touching his there. His breathing became shallow as he imagined what she tasted like. What her mouth tasted like, her skin, her sweet pussy.

He froze when she moved again, opening his eyes to see her turning around. Her back faced him now, the blanket that was covering her fell onto the ground. Sebastian eyed her ass, the slip rode up, showing her bare ass cheeks and pink lace panties. He almost came in his pants from the sight alone.

He knew he was being a pervert. He knew that he'd be too embarrassed to ever face Bee again. But he couldn't help himself in the moment.

Sebastian quietly unbutton and unzipped his jeans and pulled his aching cock out. He groaned as he began stroking it, keeping his eyes on Bee's ass and imagining what it would look like if he was fucking her from behind. God, he wished he was right now. Maybe if he actually talked to her then he could convince her to have sex with him.

He bucked his hips into his hand and brought his free hand up to brush his hair out of his face. He wished that she was facing him so he could get a good look at her tits. He wished that she didn't have anything clothes on at all. He wished that he could rip that little piece of clothing off her body so he could see every inch of her, every curve, every scar, every beauty mark.

He thought about her sucking him off. He thought about fucking her mouth as he fisted his cock, whimpering at the thought of her trying to take his entire length down her throat. he imagined her pretty face as tears ran down her cheeks as she bobbed her head up and down his shaft. God, he would kill to have her pretty mouth on his dick.

Sebastian felt his stomach drop when she groaned. He shot his eyes open and stared at her, expecting to be caught. He waited for what felt like ages, but she didn't move or make any other sounds. He debated leaving, he didn't want to get caught being in her house. But he also didn't want to leave with blue balls.

He continued stroking his cock, hurrying up his pace to cum as quickly as possible and get out of there. Despite his anxieties, the idea of being caught by her turned him on even more. He imagined what she would do if she caught him. Would she be weirded out and yell at him, or does she have the same feelings that he has for her? Does she want him to fuck her as much as he wants to?

Sebastian imagined how you would look riding his dick. How your tits would bounce with every movement. The way your pretty face would look trying to adjust to his size. He felt himself getting closer to his release as he imagined how your pussy would feel squeezing his cock. He let out a low moan as he suddenly came in his hands, imagining it was Bee's pussy he was cumming in. He let out shuddering breaths as he continued stroking his cock, bringing himself down from his high.

When his euphoria finally wore off, Sebastian became embarrassed by his actions. He stared at his cum covered hands and sighed, putting his now soft cock back into his jeans and wiping his cum on them. He definitely won't be able to talk to Bee the next day, or maybe the rest of the week, and he's going to have a hard time when she tries to talk to him. He won't be able to think of anything but how perverted he is.

Sebastian made his way to her window, climbing back through it and shuffling away from the farm house. He wanted to get as far away as possible. He didn't want to think about what he did, he had to go home and go to sleep. Maybe that would fix his jumbled brain, sleeping it off.

When he finally made it back to his room, he immediately took his jeans and hoodie off, throwing the stained clothing into his dirty clothes bin and flopping onto his bed. He closed his eyes, only seeing images of Bee when he did. He groaned, he felt like there was no escape from her.

It was going to be difficult with her around...

[greedandenby]

Typical and totally normal Lestat behaviour.

(would've loved him to say this to Louis, but unfortunately this is from the unbearably Louis-lacking Blackwood Farm).

[sincerelysatanherself]

(( a night in my marriage I hope I never forget lmao ))

He read one of my favorite books, which has a majorly obsessive stalker *cough Zaddy cough* so while bbq’ing us dinner (with a guest also), he’s sending pictures of me in the window from the very back of our yard and being an absolute perv. And I egged him right on and it was fantastic lmao

[dollygirl808]

This is just a lil excerpt from the first chapter of a story I'm writing rn, called A Monster Ensemble. It's not out anywhere yet or anything, just wanted to share.

It's not anywhere near to being done yet, but. Yeah. I liked the kinda yandere vibes Bear (horror sans) was giving in this, so I wanted to share it. I may or may not have been influenced by a song I discovered recently that I love called the red means I love you, it's honestly so good and I love yandere vibe songs and yandere vibes in general.

(Lowkey wanna write a song fic but it's in the am's and I was supposed to go to sleep hours ago)

While the story isn't planned on being yandere, Bear will def have massive stalker/obsession vibes. But everyone else not as much, probably.

I adore yandere bois so much so it'll probably leak through more than I intend to. And Bear is super duper capable of killing ppl, and of course has, given his past.

And, do I have a size thing? Maybe.. he's only like. 10ft tall. And I only mention it like no less than 10,000 times.

Okie enjoy <3

Bear watched his tiny bunny from the other isle, his massive hulking frame easily seeing over the shelves even with his more hunched posture, his one good eyelight trained on her like, well, a predator.

That's what he was, wasn't he? A killer at his core, a vicious monster who could easily rip her flesh right from her bones, then break said bones with only two fingers. The tip of his lengthy bone tail twitched in aggravation at the thought, he didn't want to hurt anybody, especially not her.

His soulbond.

He was glad his brother wasn't here to chastise him for watching the girl from across the store like a creeper, because he really, really couldn't help it. She just looked so soft and fragile all the time.

Her little brown tail, a little heart-shaped fluff against the top of her ass, so small and cute. Above what was, of course, his favorite part of her squishy body; her rather round and thick thighs.

They squished together and against eachother as she adjusted her standing position, one leg barely lifting off the ground to tap her foot against the floor as she thought, the rapid motion making her plush thigh jiggle.

His slit-like pupil zeroed in on the movement for a moment, before his eyelight wandered the exposed length of her thighs and legs, racking over every curve of of flesh like he didn't see her in her work uniform often.

A light grey pair of denim overalls that hugged the curves of her ass and thighs perfectly, and was starting to fray in between her thick thighs.

Sometimes he wondered how her tiny fragile bones didn't collapse under her own weight.

Human bones just so small compared to his own, after all, and even though he was a twisted, corrupted version of his smaller self, even their bones were thicker and sturdier than humans.

Which of course, was an opinion he would never dare voice.

Eve was sensitive about her weight, after all. Which, he didn't really understand himself. What could be bad about having a lot to eat? It's a sentiment all of his clan had, a shared confusion at human's want to eat less and diet when they had access to all of the food.

Heh. Humans were weird like that.

One day, He thought, I'll be catching prey for you, my bonded. And Paps'll cook it, and she'll eat it, and he'll be the happiest monster on the earth, surface or otherwise.

He smiled lopsidedly, single hot-red eyelight going fuzzy and his cat-like slit of a pupil engorging until there was nothing but a ring of red on the outskirts of his love-strucken socket as he watched his little bunny fus over how many pots to buy for her future catnip plants.

Stars, she was so cute when she was trying to make a decision on something so impossibly mundane like it was the single-most important decision in her life, he could feel his cracked soul flutter happily, and call to her without meaning to.

And that's when she turned around, cute little eyebrows pinched in confusion at the tugging she felt in her chest (from her soul, but she didn't know that yet,) And her vibrant bubblegum pink eyes met his single eyelight, which immediately snapped back to its normal slit-like state.

He straightened his spine, head and shoulders rising above the top of the 7ft shelf, and her eyes followed, watching him dwarf the shelf with his massive 10ft frame with what could only be described as morbid fascinating.

She smiled warmly at him, welcomingly. And a twinkle of something more caught his attention in her expression. Something Bear easily recognized as lust.

Even if it was just a small amount of misplaced curiosity, whenever he displayed or did something to accentuate his overwhelming height and mass, she always got this look of want across her cute rounded features.

Like she was thinking about climbing him like a jungle gym, and that look pleased him greatly, so he made sure to stand tall and loom over her whenever possible.

So, maybe the bunny had a bit of a size kink? Little prey, lusting after a monster like him. It made him chuckle silently to himself.

Like a mouse watching a bear, the mouse couldn't possibly understand the danger she was in, and because a bear would never bother chasing after or catching prey as un-filling as a mouse, the mouse had no instincts to run. And the bear simply wouldn't be bothered by it just sitting there, as completely non-threatening and miniscule as it was.

Of course, this particular Bear had great interest in catching the little prey that was too caught up in his unsual and rare appearance to be fearful, and he would take great pleasure in playing a game of cat and mouse, chase her like prey, and when he caught her, he'd absolutely devour her without hesitation-

"Hey, Bear! Getting more plants for your garden of eden?" Eve asked with a teasing smile, and he blinked a few times as he processed her question.

"Yeah," Was all he managed to force out, but she didn't mind, and she just smiled bigger at him, her eyes nearly closing from the sheer intensity of it.

It made his soul flutter again, and also call out to her again, stronger this time. She made no outwardly acknowledgment of the feeling, aside from her left ear and her nose twitching at the same time.

Which, he found absolutely adorable and his pupil started to swell again with mirth, before shrinking back. "What.. ya doing?" Bear asked, as If he hadn't been stalking watching her for the past 30 minutes.

"Oh, I'm trying to decide how many pots will fit on my windowsill." She said, thumbing behind her to the brownish-tan pots on the top shelf.

Which were well out of her reach, and he thought about how he could offer to get them for her, and she'd be very thankful. His eyelight glowed momentarily with excitement at the thought.

So, he started walking to her isle, long, thick legs bent at impossibly inhuman angles making quick work to get rid of the distance.

Legs that were apparently 'digitigrade,' she had once told him when he asked if his appearance really didn't bother her.

"What? Of course not, Bear!" She had balked, tone offended, almost angrily so, as if she could ever thing something so horrible. "You look fine! I think having a super long, prehensile tail is pretty damn cool. And your legs are like, digitigrade! And your clawed feet remind me of a dragons, which are super duper cool, by the way."

That really wasn't the answer he had been expecting. "Pretty damn cool" was not an sentence he would have ever used to describe himself before that. But it made him so happy at the time.

"Heh... think so?" He had asked, tusks stretched wide in a pleased grin, eyelight trained on her so intensely it made her little bunny-heart race, and she had pouted at him and asked if he was just fishing for compliments.

He wasn't, but the angry stomp and huff she let out was too adorable to correct, so he agreed.

If he could still teleport at will, he probably wouldn't bother walking so he could be close to her sooner. But alas, he had lost that ability due to the incident, or more specifically, the massive hole in his skull.

Eve turned and contemplated the pots again, brown fluffy ears rotated fully forward in pure concentration.

Bear stopped next to her, body facing the isle, but eyelight watching her think. His tail came to wrap loosely around her boot-covered ankle, something he did often, and she didn't even spare him and ear twitch in his direction.

So, unafraid. A pleased smirk tugged at the sides of his tusked mouth, watching her be so comfortable next to him that she didn't even twitch at him wrapping her ankle up in his deceptively strong tail.

Stars, if he could be any happier his soul would probably leap from his chest and try to enter hers. He wondered if she would accept that.

"Three," Bear said simply, grufly, his deeper-than-normal voice a product of his harsh time underground. Just another corrupted deviation from the original Sans that made him so...

"You think?" Eve asked, looking up at him as her ears relaxed more to the side and her head tilted ever-so slightly to the side as well.

He only nodded, already reaching above her head to grab three of the pots and hand them off to his tail, gently curling into and around the small plant plots before setting them on the bottom shelf of her cart.

She huffed out an air of amusement from her nose, rolling her eyes, trying and failing to suppress her smile.

"Thank you, Bear," Eve said genuinely, setting a small hand on his radius, one of the two thick bones that made up his 'forearm.'

"No," He paused for longer than he ment, brain suddenly forgetting the word, but she didn't frown at him, or try to rush or finish his sentence for him, just waited and looked up at him with that gentle, patient smile is that nearly made him forget what he wanted to say.

"No, problem," Bear finished after a moment of staring at her face.

"Well, that's the last thing I needed. What are you shopping for? I could help you. Although, I dont know how helpful I could be given my apparent Black thumb," Eve rambled a little, and he couldn't help but find that adorable as well.

"Flowers," He told her, and she nodded.

"Something colorful for spring?" She offered, and he nodded, "Want me to walk with you?"

"Please," He said, and offered his arm, which she took without hesitation.

He smiled, and his tail let go of her to wave behind him happily as he grabbed the cart's handle with both of his massive hands, taking up all of the bar space.

So she was left to fiddle with the edges of her overalls pant leg while her other hand wrapped around Bear's blue jacket sleeve and they walked side-by-side, mostly silent.

Eve would occasionally make a comment about a particularly vibrant or pretty flower, and he would just nod along, or grab it and put it in his own cart, which he tugged behind him with his tail.

She tried to take her cart back a few times, but he just stood still while she tried to muscle her way, or pry his sharp claws off the bar, with zero luck.

She gave up after a few times and let him pull and push both carts, but made sure to express she could handle her own cart.

Bear bent down to grab the largest size of garden soil they had, a massive bag the size of Eve's chest. He picked it up with one hand, setting it in his cart without trouble.

The bunny tried not to gape at his strength too much, but she probably wouldn't even be able to pick up something that heavy, and he did it easily, single-handedly. It was hard not to be impressed.

"So, what kind of flowers are you looking for?" She asked, turning to face him as her free hand continued stroking the petals of a particularly soft plant.

"Looking for pretty," He said while staring down at her so intensely it made her look away.

He had to be doing that on purpose, right?! Neck bent completely so his skull was parallel to the top of her head, and he was looming over her, literally blocking out the bright lights above them and casting her face in a shadow as she tilted her own head fully back to look up at him.

It wasn't threatening in any way, but, fuck, it was really, stupidly hot. Did Bear even have the ability to think about doing something like that? Or was his habit of staring at her silently, so intensely her face flushed, because of his injury? He stared, seemingly expressionless to onlookers but she had gotten used to his subtle body language.

Most of it was with his eyelight and his tail, anyways. His tail would wave back and forth when he was happy, and sometimes even thump on the ground, bump into things or knock things onto the ground. The tip would twitch when he was mildly annoyed, and his entire tail would lash back and forth in a whip-like motion when he was pissed, which wasn't often.

His general cat-like slit in the center of his white-to-red gradient eyelight would grow rounded when he was particularly happy or content, or he saw something he really liked, like after a meal, or when she did something he found particularly cute. It would shrink to be skinnier and longer when he was angry, and it would become football shaped when he was concentrating, get shorter and rounder.

"A-are you looking for a particular color, Bear? Like blues, purples, pinks?" Eve asked, stuttering only a little at the beginning.

The monster stopped leaning over her, sitting back further and making himself a little smaller. "Pink. Pretty pink." He said simply.

"Pink is a great springtime color!" She squeaked out, and tried not to think about how he was grabbing lots of flowers with petals that matched the shade of pink in her eyes. It was just a coincidence, pink was a spring color, after all.

[lustfulslxt]

i have your face reveal saved

okay? are you threatening to post it bc what are you gonna get out of that? people knowing i write smut? 🌚 um maybe don’t b a weirdo??? better yet, block me 😃 better yet, delete your acc 😃 better yet, jump out a window 😃 tf is wrong w you? (everything)

[zot3-flopped]

Is It Over Now?

[Verse 1]

Once the flight had flown (Uh-huh)

With the wilt of the rose (Uh-huh)

I slept all alone (Uh-huh)

You still wouldn't go

[Pre-Chorus]

Let's fast forward to three hundred takeout coffees later

I see your profile and your smile on unsuspecting waiters

You dream of my mouth before it called you a lying traitor

You search in every maiden's bed for somethin' greater, baby

[Chorus]

Was it over when she laid down on your couch?

Was it over when he unbuttoned my blouse?

"Come here," I whispered in your ear

In your drеam as you passed out, baby

Was it over then? And is it ovеr now?

[Post-Chorus]

(Is it? Is it? Is it?)

[Verse 2]

When you lost control (Uh-huh)

Red blood, white snow (Uh-huh)

Blue dress on a boat (Uh-huh)

Your new girl is my clone

[Bridge]

And did you think I didn't see you?

There were flashin' lights

At least I had the decency

To keep my nights out of sight

Only rumors 'bout my hips and thighs

And my whispered sighs

Oh, Lord, I think about

Jumpin' off of very tall somethings

Just to see you come running

And say the one thing I've been wanting, but no

[Pre-Chorus]

Let's fast forward to three hundred awkward blind dates later (Oh)

If she's got blue eyes, I will surmise that you'll probably date her (Oh)

You dream of my mouth before it called you a lying traitor (Oh)

You search in every model's bed for somethin' greater, baby

[Chorus]

Was it over when she laid down on your couch?

Was it over when he unbuttoned my blouse?

"Come here," I whispered in your ear

In your dream as you passed out, baby

Was it over then? And is it over now?

[Post-Chorus]

Oh-oh

(Is it? Is it? Is it?) Oh-oh

(Is it? Is it?)

[Bridge]

Think I didn't see you?

There were flashin' lights

At least I had the decency

To keep my nights out of sight

Only rumors 'bout my hips and thighs

And my whispered sighs

Oh, Lord, I think about

Jumpin' off of very tall somethings

Just to see you come runnin' (Runnin')

And say the one thing I've been wanting, but no

[Outro]

Flashin' lights

Oh, Lord (Oh-oh)

Let's fast forward to three hundred takeout coffees later (Oh-oh)

(Flashin' lights)

I was hoping you'd be there

And say the one thing (Oh-oh) I've been wanting (Oh-oh)

(Flashin' lights) But no

[stagefoureds]

Oo sen tumblr kullanır mıydın ya

Oo sadece uyuyamayınca dkwlmxskkd

[movietimewithterry]

YOU

Seven days later and I finally got time to watch the second part of You season 4. What are your thoughts on it. Thinking about it, I think the season ending was to be expected. But I was a little disappointed to learn that Rhys was a figment of Joe's imagination. I was excited by a concept of serial killer partnership. Let me know what you think.

[sukusweetsb]

Everyone listen to

RN I've been obsessed with this song since 2015 it's so GOOOD

[jennakittykats-blog]

@JennaKatsCave

[atherea]

“It, uh. Had a virus.” 

“So you smashed it?” Bruce, usually quite composed, looked baffled.

“Yeah?” Tim said, like it should be obvious, “I didn’t want it to spread to my other appliances.”

Bruce looked astounded by Tim’s sheer stupidity.

fanart of ch19 of @wesslan's cards on the table, i read this all last night and its been wired in my brain since then oh my god i love all the silly moments in this fic

[grubus]

hmmm stalker aus...

TGCF: I think Xie Lian would very quickly realize he has a stalker. He has had a stalker before! Three times, even, though the other two were small ones compared to the big first one. He is, one might say, experienced in being stalked. However unlike the previous ones, this stalker is kind of.... nice.... kind of. Fun. Yes he keeps popping up where he shouldn't and Xie Lian definitely saw his own picture in the guy's wallet that one time, but he's very NICE and POLITE and honestly, the attention is nice. This is a good stalker. Xie Lian will lean into it to the horror of all his close ones. Xie Lian will encourage the stalker to stalk and meanwhile Hua Cheng thinks he's winning the Best Courtship Award, not knowing anyone more sane would have called the cops.

MDZS: Wei Wuxian would see Lan Wangji staring weirdly and acting weirdly one too many times and decide the man is stalking him. What a shame! He's so beautiful! Beautiful men aren't meant to be stalkers! Wei Wuxian's immediate decision to stalk right back is questionable at best and mostly impulsive. Several months after they end up together, it turns out Lan Wangji recognized Wei Ying from a Missing Child Poster and also from meeting as little kids, and all that staring was him trying to figure out if the Jiang family kidnapped him as a child. When Wei Ying decided to stalk him, Lan Wangji just thought the guy recognized him in turn and wanted to rekindle their childhood friendship.

SVSSS: Shen Yuan is not gay. He's not gay. However, lately, he keeps running into the most beautiful, handsome, gorgeous, hot, THE most perfect man he has ever SEEN. The guy is so charming and sweet and clearly having a rough time lately, CLEARLY he needs some support! Some encouragement! So what if Shen Yuan decides to dig up everything he can on the guy? That's normal! The dude seems to be HOMELESS, he needs help! Shen Yuan just needs all this information to make sure he can get Binghe the most fitting, best job. And besides, clearly they're meant to be (platonic) if they keep running into each other. He's so proud he made a friend and he's so proud he can help said friend. He ignores all the attic wife jokes from Airplane. There is nothing wrong with enjoying cleaning and cooking, dude! Binghe is very masculine. And he can leave whenever he wants!

Meanwhile Binghe, who knows stalking is bad but can't help it, can't help make sure to run into Shen Yuan every chance he gets, or memorize all that he likes and dislikes and- well, it's fine! Because it turns out that when he finally moves in with Shen Yuan, his boyfriend ALSO stalked him! Not that Shen Yuan will admit it, but Binghe sees the conspiracy board with all his info carefully mapped out, and he knows that his precious A-Yuan stalked him right back, doing it the digital way instead of on foot, like Binghe did.

It's very flattering.