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always-just-red · 2 months ago

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A/N: So I threatened a while back to write MC arresting Sylus since he literally won’t shut up about it. Thought this would be a silly fic but it ended up an angst-driven exploration of how his time with MC is probably finite and ill-fated?? Anyway Sylus is too soft for this, I’m sorryyyy (Sy I love you! I would never do this to you! ‘Didn’t it come from your imagination, though?’ Ssshhhh you don’t know what you’re saying!! 🥰)

To Remain Silent

Sylus x Reader 🩸

Summary: Sylus has told you to arrest him one too many times...

Genre: Emotional rollercoaster honestly? Some angst, some comfort (and a lil spice for flavour)

Warnings/Additional tags: gn!reader, vaguely established relationship, gets a little steamy at the end (mostly kissing tbh), artistic licence applied liberally since this would be WAY too risky for MC to actually attempt 😭😭

| Word count: 2.7k | Masterlist | Opt-in to my taglist here!

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Love and Deepspace. All work is my own, so please don't repost or plagiarise!

Sylus knows this isn’t real.

You watch him through the glass of his cell, and the subtle tint to it lets you know that he can’t watch you back. He’s sat on the single bench inside, leaning against the far wall, his long legs stretched out before him. His hands are cuffed— tucked away behind his back— but he still looks comfortable. More than comfortable: at ease. At home. Bored.

“You think I can’t feel those pretty little eyes of yours on me?” he mutters, head back, eyes closed. “I’m at your mercy, kitten. Are you really only going to look?”

You tap a button on the glass. “You should start taking this seriously.”

He smiles at the sound of your voice, but his eyes don’t open; there’s still nothing to see. “I’m taking it very seriously, sweetie.”

“I don’t think you are.”

The smile turns even more smug: a confession, all by itself. He sits up and leans forward, like someone who’s found a change of conversation to be interesting. His eyes open— managing to find you, somehow, and— can he see you? No. It’s an educated guess, he’s just selling it with confidence.

Leisurely, he rises from his seat and saunters over to the glass. “Let me see you,” he orders, then bargains: “Please? This is so very—” he toes the division— “one-sided.”

You can’t look him in the eyes, can you? This is hard enough without the windows to your soul baring your heart and your mind to him, like they always do. You should have worn those sunglasses he bought you for that undercover assignment. This is what they’re for, right? Hiding.

With a circular swipe of your finger, the glass before you clears and Sylus meets your gaze.

“Hi,” he teases.

You fold your arms across your chest. “Hey.”

“This is quite some effort you’ve gone to, kitten. And all for me, no less.”

“What effort?” you dismiss plainly. “You practically slapped those handcuffs on yourself.”

It’s not an exaggeration: from the cuffs to the ride here, not a single stage of his arrest has been resisted. The closest he’s gotten to a lack of cooperation was when you’d first restrained and dragged him from his study, where he’d been inclined to point out that the bedroom was the other way.

“Well, I didn’t want to cause a fuss,” he smirks. One of his hands is brought forward, and his handcuffs now hang uselessly from a finger. “Tell me,” he says, letting them swing as he holds your gaze, “what am I to expect now I’ve been so masterfully captured?”

You glance at the restraints, unmoved. “That isn’t for me to decide.”

A door behind you slides open, and— right on time— an altogether more impressive presence joins you before the cell. Sylus glances her up and down as the click of her heeled boots come to a stop; he has never met your captain, but he knows her face.

“You really cashed in all your favours, didn’t you, sweetie?” he observes. He turns to address the woman beside you: “We haven’t been introduced. I’m—”

“I know who you are,” Jenna interrupts, her tone as incorruptible as yours.

Sylus’s arm lifts, resting on the glass above you so he can tower over you, despite the partition. “Is that right?” he purrs absent-mindedly, dropping his head so he can speak into your ear. “Sweetie… I thought you could keep a secret.”

He’s goading you into your usual game, but the stakes don’t interest you. “You were wrong.”

You’re at your own table, dealing your own cards. Does he want to play? You think he might. His lips are curving at the delicious prospect of a challenge. You’ve given him a taste of it. He wants more.

Jenna is studying her clipboard, acting oblivious. She senses the impasse. Asks Sylus: “Do you know why you’re here?”

He huffs impatiently. “Enlighten me.”

“Sylus,” you scold.

Red eyes widen a fraction.

You see it.

Good.

…

Sylus thinks this might be real.

You said his name. His real name: the one with sharp, bloody strings attached. The one on all the posters. The one in your precious Association’s archives, linked to stacks of files and crime scene photos, most of which he isn’t even responsible for.

Sylus. You said: Sylus.

It was worthy of a grand reveal— the sort of plot twist that delivered the suspense of so many thrillers— but here you are, speaking it like it’s nothing. Not a slip of the tongue; not a mistake. And it’s different here. He’s not your Sylus. He’s theirs.

Their murderer. Their monster. Their convenient little scapegoat for everything dark and unholy.

The captain is reading him a list, reeling off every crime— each alleged sin. As if he needs a reminder. As if all the time in the world could ever let him forget. “Needless to say, Mr Sylus,” she summarises, “due to the nature of these crimes, you may prove exempt from our standard procedures. A case like this is… unprecedented. Onychinus has much to answer for. You have much to answer for.”

Sylus hasn’t really been listening; it’s all senseless bureaucracy. “You have the wrong man,” he says, because whatever you’re doing— whatever stunt this is— a confession is sure to derail it. You know that, don’t you? You must be counting on it: holding that guilty breath of yours and hoping he’s smart enough to not be Sylus.

You don’t look worried in the slightest. You must have an awful lot of faith in him.

He studies you, waiting for a small, deliberate smile or a moment of weakness. Give him a sign, don’t give him a sign— it doesn’t matter; he’ll find one. His intentions must be clearer than yours, because you step up to the glass to face him.

Do it, your silence says, even though the rest of you is illegible. You want to look? Look.

His eye could light like a crimson fire— could burn the truth out of you— but it won’t. It’s a promise he made what feels like a lifetime ago, not long after you’d met: Your thoughts and desires are yours to give, not his to take.

Even here. Even now. He’s a man of his word, after all.

Impressed? You smile faintly, but there’s no warmth to it. “Captain,” you speak, your eyes not leaving his, “can you give us a minute? Please?”

“Of course,” the woman answers with a nod.

Sylus does not see her go. He hears it: the retreating rhythm of her shoes. He feels it: it’s just the two of you, alone again. Well, the two of you and that ‘hidden’ camera in the far corner of the room. “Whatever game this is,” he grins good-naturedly, his teeth gritted, “it stops. Now.”

“It’s not a game, Sylus. I told you to take this seriously.”

“What are you doing?” he snaps, and that good-natured grin didn’t last very long.

Your hands land on your hips. “My job.” When he scoffs, you continue: “Did you really think this would end any other way? After everything you’ve done?”

He laughs and it’s deeply sardonic. He’s no saint— to try to convince you he was would be a crime worthy of punishments far worse than this. But you know him. You know the line and what stands on each side of it: everything he’s done, yes, and everything he’s been made to take the fall for.

You wouldn’t do this to him. Would you? “You want to play pretend? Fine,” he hisses. He wants to wrap his Evol around that godforsaken camera and annihilate it. “You caught the big, bad boss of Onychinus— congratulations, sweetie. Sure. Let’s say that’s who I am. A man like that has power, right? So what’s to keep him— me— from escaping? Right now?”

“You’re not going to leave, Sylus. Wanna know why?”

He’s sure you’re going to tell him, and you do:

“Because you’re all talk. All smoke and mirrors. You want to go? Go. But there’s not a single person in this building who wouldn’t give their life to bring you back. Someone will catch up to you eventually, and what then?”

“I’ll have a lot of fun, I imagine.”

“You’ll do nothing,” you correct. “Because those people out there? They’re my friends. My family. You hurt them? You hurt me. Make all the threats you want, Sylus— we both know the truth.”

He towers over you, still, but it’s hard not to shrink at your next words:

“You don’t have it in you.”

Your eyes are sharp: whetted with resentment. Sylus is your reflection— your worthy opponent, always— but he just can’t look at you like that.

There’s a quiet hiss as you slide a finger over the cell’s control panel. White, neon light carves through the glass partition: two vertical lines that bleed upwards, either side of him, before bending to meet each-other. The glass between them shimmers, then fades.

Sylus stands on the precipice of the doorway, cool air crawling past him. He stares up at the camera, then down at you. Your arms have folded again as you watch him— a narrative of apathy.

“How about it, Sylus?” you ask bitterly. “Still think you can outrun fate?”

“No.” Not since it started wearing your face. Fate is you, putting a bullet in his heart, and him, waking up so you can do it over and over again. Maybe this is real. Maybe it isn’t. “What do you want from me?” he entreats softly, because you’ll get it— either way.

“Isn’t it obvious?” you sneer, and your hand shoots out, grasping a fistful of his shirt. You use it to drag him out of the cell, closer, lower, so that his face is mere inches from yours.

“No,” he repeats. “Say it.”

Your eyes burn like pyres: so dangerous, so beautiful, so suited to being the death of him. “I want you—” you begin, as they flit briefly to his lips— “to tell me…”

“What?”

“How you cheat at kitty cards.”

Oh. Oh.

You’re going to be insufferable about this, aren’t you?

Sure enough, you drop his shirt and burst into laughter— irrepressibly you again. The fire in your eyes has simmered down into something warm, safe, and comfortable, and— gods— you’re even crying. You’re doubled over, holding your stomach as though it hurts. You lift a hand to wipe your wet cheek. “Your face,” you get out between gasps, “oh, your face!”

Yours is not the only laughter, but it’s the only laughter Sylus hears.

“We so got you, Skye!” Tara’s vaguely familiar voice resounds from an intercom.

There’s some confusing static with it— more tittering voices— and Sylus suspects he’s found himself the star of your colleagues’ after-work entertainment. He puts his hands on his hips as he looks up at the camera. “Is the whole office—”

“Yeah,” you manage, wiping away another tear. “Figured it would be good for morale. Good practice, too.”

“Practice?”

“Mmhmm,” you confirm with a hum. You’ve apparently gotten a handle on the hilarity of the situation, because you approach him with something close to composure. Meditatively, you smooth down the fabric of his shirt. Straighten his collar. “For when we catch the real Sylus one day.”

He captures your wrists; that’s a lot of tenderness for someone who just tried to give him a heart attack. Maybe he’s a little too rough, because you pout at him in a way that makes him instantly soften his grip.

“You ok, Skye?” you enquire with an ironic smile and an adorable tilt of your head.

His thumbs are feathering over your pulse points, and slowly, he leans in to deliver a message, just for you: “If I say no, will you make it up to me?”

…

Sylus knows this is real.

His mouth is on yours and it’s relentless, desperate; you made him wait for it. How long has he been wanting to trap you against the nearest wall, just like this, so he can kiss you until he forgets just how cold you can be?

He’s been very patient. He didn’t roll his eyes or utter a word of complaint when you’d dragged him to join your colleagues for dinner. It was your victory party, your ‘I made you look like an idiot’ party, but he was his usual, charming self, and your friends all adored him for it. They’d spun him the tale of his ‘arrest’— the planning, the preparation, and your lightbulb moment:

“Hey, guys, have you ever thought about how Skye kinda looks like Sylus?”

Only he could understand how wickedly clever it was. His eyes had sought yours as he listened, lazy, content, and so obviously biding his time. You’d smiled at him. He’d smiled back.

And he’d stayed smiling, even after the party was over and you’d had to walk a slightly-tipsy Tara home. She’d refused a taxi, insisted Sylus escort her— oh, and you could come, too! He’d lent her his arm: humoured every squeeze and chuckled at each remark about the size of it. You’d had to swat her away, in the end.

“I’m just teasing, y’know?” she’d giggled as the three of you arrived at her front door. “Skye knows I’m just teasing. You’re such a sweetheart, Skye. Imagine! You— the leader of Onychinus!”

She’d laughed, much too loud for such a quiet street, and with a less-than-subtle wink, left the two of you alone. Which is how you’d ended up here, in an alley around the back of her building, because it was Sylus’s turn to drag you somewhere.

His attentions have moved lower; there’s a subtle clink as his fingers find the clasp of your shirt collar and he peels it back, exposing your neck. His lips leave yours, trailing down, down— past the line of your jaw and over the soft, vulnerable column of your throat. You gasp as he brushes over a sensitive spot, and you could swear you feel him smile.

He’s always been passionate, but this is a different fire, fuelled by something you can’t ignore, no matter how much you want to:

Relief.

“Sy,” you murmur breathlessly, your hand in his hair, tugging gently. “Sy, stop.”

“Mmm?” he acquiesces, voice sinfully low as the cold evening air takes his place kissing your neck. His eyes shine like blood spilt in the dead of night— lingering on you. He looks drunk.

You lift a hand to cup his face and run your thumb over his cheek. “I’ll never let anything happen to you, Sylus. You know that, right?”

Those dark eyes find clarity with your words, full of apprehension for just how naive you can be. The future will turn on you just as quickly as a wild animal someone boasts about having tamed, and aren’t you foolish, thinking you can control something like that?

Besides, that’s his job.

“I know,” he says like he’s supposed to— ever the martyr, following the script. He goes to nuzzle into you again, but your hand is still tight in his hair and he groans as you use it to pull him back.

“I mean it,” you reassert, forcing him to look at you. You don’t care that it’s ridiculous. You don’t care that fate is so hot on your heels that you have to keep running. You’re tired. He’s even more tired.

Isn’t it nice to stop and catch your breath?

Pretend you have time: His gaze is full of faith and oh, the world is going to enjoy punishing the two of you. “I know,” he insists, because this is the second time you’ve fooled him tonight. You feel his hand on your face and you let him kiss you— again, then again— so achingly slow, so arrogant.

The world can wait; he wants to punish you first.

“Do you really want to know—” he distracts as he finds that sensitive spot on your neck again— “how I cheat at kitty cards?”

The pad of his finger is chasing the path of his mouth; it tickles. You whine: “Tell me later, Sy.”

“Ok,” he breathes against you.

Later. There’ll be a later.

Won’t there?

#🖋rach is actually writing #sylus x reader #sylus #love and deepspace #lads sylus #lnds sylus #l&ds sylus #qin che #sylus x mc #sylus x you #lads x reader #lads #lnds #l&ds

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abby-howard · 2 years ago

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So a Scarlet Hollow player played our game on a plane and a lady got mad at her for it, and now that’s been covered in not one but two British tabloids!

So we’re doing a little itch.io sale in celebration of being such a graphic and violent video game that is definitely corrupting the youth and causing panic amongst the elderly UwU

by golly it happened again. another uk tabloid is talking about that one lady who got yelled at for playing "horrifically violent" video game scarlet hollow on an airplane

runnin a flash sale on itch for funsies, so if you'd like to pick up 98% positive indie darling horror visual novel scarlet hollow, check it out here!

#scarlet hollow #indie horror game #moral panic #i guess we're a horrifically violent and graphic video game now #don't tell the ppl who bought the game because of this that most of the game is talking to cute people ssshhhh #itch.io #on sale!!!#though i will say the end of episode 4 gets pretty gory depending on ur choices

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chiharuhashibira · 1 year ago

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oooooh can i request a little drabble where haganezuka is way too focused on his work so his gf or wifey tickles him to make him less stressed? i adore his childish side, how he throws tantrums. and he's super weak to ticklish kisses from his gal. he yelps and squeals, much to his chagrin, but laughing always makes him feel better! so his wife is ideally the tickle monster. and he knows when it's coming lol he's like NO. I'M WORKING (fails to defend himself) cute little firefly

Hewo Haganezuka lover~ I'm also a Haganezuka girl but ssshhhh don't tell Giyu 🙅🏼‍♀️ The boi will choke me 😫

I'm sleepy from work but I wanna write this drabble before sleeping hihi, thanks for the request ^^

𝓜𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽

=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=

𝑷𝒔𝒔𝒔𝒕, 𝑯𝒐𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒖

𝐇𝐨𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐮 𝐇𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐳𝐮𝐤𝐚 𝐗 𝐅𝐞𝐦!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

Content Warning: None!

(Image is not mine, credits to the rightful owner)

"Psssst, Hotaru. Baby, come on. You've been here for hours. I miss you."

Despite your best efforts, your lover has been completely unresponsive for the past three and a half hours. If he ever responds, all you hear from him are his grunts or "NO! I'M WORKING!" You can't help but want to get cosy with him. When all else fails, you resolve to do something about it yourself.

You went closer and finally managed to tickle the man, making him drop the knife that he had been sharpening. His stern attitude faded as your hands ran on his sides while giving him kisses on the back of his ears.

Hotaru squeals and yelps as you tickle him more, losing the chance to defend himself as his body betrays him. Finally, you stopped, and there he shot you a glare.

"Idiot! That was uncalled for!"

"But you were stressed, baby. I just want to give you some distraction."

He was about to protest more when you planted your lips against his. Hotaru pulls out and flicks your forehead. You pouted on him, and to your astonishment, the handsome man leaned in to give you another feather-like kiss.

"Fine. I will cuddle you. But just for an hour, okay, Y/N?"

"Two hours. Please?"

You gave him another pout, and you felt how much Hotaru did his best to compose himself. But you won. Hotaru rolled his eyes and finally gave in to what you wanted.

"Fine. I'll cuddle with you as long as you want. Gaah! Be thankful that you'll be my wife soon, and I can't resist you."

Giving him a seemingly innocent smile, you pinched his cheek and planted another kiss on his lips. "That's my future husband~ I love you, Hotaru!"

Despite his tantrums, he blushed and still managed to carry you towards your bedroom to give you all the snuggles you wanted with him.

=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=

317 words!

Thank you for reading this drabble of our beloved Hotaru 💓 If I was his wife, I'm also sure that I won't be able to keep my hands to my self. IYKYK 👀 Just kidding XD

Love yah guys! See yah on my other fics!

~𝓒𝓱𝓲𝓱𝓪𝓻𝓾-𝓬𝓱𝓪𝓷🌸

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beastofburdenxo · 4 months ago

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I got you

Thanks to @smezzzz, here is a continuation of "Look After You" Tommy has another seizure, this time at The Garrison in front of his brothers. As always, you are there. Just some fluff, mention of blood, typical Tommy language.

"Easy there, it's alright now, I've got you." Tommy woke up, excruciating pain ebbing through his head. Another episode happened, this time outside of the comfort of his home, where it could stay hidden.

No, this time, it was at The Garrison, in front of his family, who were very much unaware. Tommy cracked his head on the floor, causing blood to pool around him. John and Arthur picked him up out of his own blood and set him on one of the tables. Unsure of what to do, they called you in a panic.

Of course, you came immediately, knowing tommy would be very upset. Especially now that the cat is out of the bag. "Ssshhhh, it's alright. It's just a little blood this time. Just a small boo boo." You comfort tommy in his dazed state. His eyes are going in and out of focus, occasionally focusing on you. "Why wasn't we told about the seizures?" Arthur asks, clearly bothered by this whole thing.

"Tommy wanted no one to know. He has hid it well these past few months. You know how he is, very stubborn. Wanted no one thinking he couldn't lead. Thought he was less of a man." John shook his head, raising his glass as if to chuck it at Tommy's incompasitated head. "We would have never thought that, you ignorant fuck!"

Just then, a weak sound leaves Tommy's mouth, silencing the room. "Ssshhh, it's okay. We're all here for you, tommy." Arthur walks closer. "Yeah, Tom, we're not going anywhere. You should have told us before shit hit the fan, eh? You asshole." Tommy's eyes are only for you, ignoring the rest as silent tears streak his face. Your name weakly leaves his mouth as he realizes what had happened.

You send the boys away before the storm in Tommy's eyes approaches. His arms reach out for you before the dam finally breaks. You gather him in your arms as broken sobs leave him. "My brave boy. It's okay, sweetheart. Nobody is mad at you. They are just worried in their own way, you know. Sssshhh, tommy, relax." You kiss his forehead as you inspect his latest injury, "Well you've stopped bleeding. And on the upside," you lean to whisper this next part in his ear, "you didn't wet yourself this time. That secret stays with us, yeah?"

You gently rock him like you would an upset baby. Because he is your upset baby. You knew he didn't want this part to be shown. They've already seen the worst. This part is just for the two of you. You are his safe place. "Alright, let's get you home, yeah? You've had one hell of a day." You kiss the remaining tears away and you call the boys back to help tommy off the table.

Of course, they noticed his puffy eyes and the occasional sniffle, but not a word was said about it. Tommy didn't even try and fight their help like he normally would. "Go home brother, try again tomorrow, yeah?" John says with a pat on the back. "We can handle one day, Tom, we'll be alright." Arthur concluded as they helped tommy into the car.

On the way home, Tommy lays his head in your lap. You stroke his face as you drive. "That was so scary. How do you handle it so well?" Tommy murmured. "Well, sweetheart, this isn't my first rodeo. Poor Arthur was white as a sheet." You chuckled. "I don't want to be away from you for a second. I get scared when you're not around."

"Baby, it's okay. There's no need to be scared. Now that everyone knows, they can look after you when I can't. Now, do you see why I wanted you to tell them?" Tommy sighs. "Yeah, but they still aren't you love. You keep me calm."

As you pull up the long driveway, Tommy sits up and lays his head on your shoulder. "My fucking head is killing me." You give him a kiss. "I'd say so. You took quite the tumble today. And if you insist, I don't care to tag along a bit more than I do. But I can't help it if the boys give you shit over it." Tommy smiles up at you. "Fuck em, I need you. More than you could ever know. I love you "

"I love you too, Tommy sweetheart."

#cillian murphy #tommy shelby #peaky blinders #tommy shelby imagine #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby fanfiction #tommy shelby fluff

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forcemascexperiments · 20 days ago

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Thoughts on this? :

Force mascing by making him piss standing up like a man.

You make him hold his pee until hes about to burst. Hes begging you to let him pee. But you've got the keys to the bathroom. He's losing his mind, gripping himself and buckling his knees as his bladder threatens to give out.

Finally, when you know the need to piss has gotten to his head and made him a little stupid, you tell him:

"Okay, baby, i'll let you piss. But only like the man that you are. Hmm?"

He's too lost in his desperation to understand what you mean. So you drag him outside, him following you one hand squeezing between his thighs.

You point to a patch of grass down the wall of the back of your house.

"Here. Real men piss standing up, don't they? You either piss standing up or you don't."

You grip him by the chin "Don't you dare crouch down to pee."

He's a blabbering mess. He's scared. He's never peed standing up and he tells you he's scared of dirtying his clothes because he's so full he won't know how to aim.

You laugh at him. Then you shove his face against the wall of the house, tear his pants and boxers down, grip his hands behind his back, plaster your entire body to his back and put your mouth to his ears.

" lDon't you wanna let it all go? Hmm? Don't you wanna be a good boy and show me how good boys piss?"

His legs start shaking. His no's and please's are broken by his sobs.

You smile.

"I guess even piss has to be forced out of you, huh?"

You sneak a hand between his bladder and the wall. And you press.

"Ssshhhh."

An intense sound of piss hitting concrete erupts.

"Look at you... pissing yourself so strongly. That was a lot to hold in huh? Doesn't feel good baby? Doesn't feel good to pee like the man that you are?"

His hips don't stop trembling. His piss is bursting in all directions, his boxers and pants at his ankles are getting soaked. You feel piss roll to the back of his legs and soak right into your crotch.

You groan and grind forward at the warmth of it. You hook your chin on his shoulder and look down.

"Fuuuckk...So good... so fucking good for me. Look at you dirtying yourself like that. God... i can't believe you ever thought you were anything other than a filthy man who was made to pee standing up."

The streaming of his piss doesn't stop. His crying seems to have turned into moans. His voice is melting.

You get a gimpse at his eyes closed in bliss.

You sneak a hand on the back of his neck, grip his nape, and force his head to angle down.

"Open your fucking eyes and look baby."

He whimpers and complies like a kitten held by his scruff.

"Look at the piss stain you left on the wall."

He's trying to whimper an apology

You laugh.

"I can't believe your pee is still going. You're making the piss stain bigger, you know that?"

You let go to grip him by the hips and forcibly sway his hips left and right, directing his stream of pee to make a bigger mess.

"Do you think you can make it big enough to be able to see it everytime we pass the driveway?"

He's moaning beyond words. At your pee, at your touch, at your manipulation.

Finally, his piss stream weakens and stops. He slumps back against you.

You wrap your arms around his chest and coo at him. You kiss his temple and say:

"I'm gonna have to recondition that little piss hole of yours huh... make you only be able to relieve yourself standing up. This way your body will know how it was always meant to piss. Like a man."

You wrote a story for me!!

And yes, I very much approve of this.. can I jerk him off while he pees? Condition him to cum every time he pees? Can I condition him to only be able to pee while he's jerking off? Not rubbing either, he's gotta hold his t dick inbetween his pointer and middle finger and jerk it, treat it like the dick that it is. He'd be jerking his hand back and forth by the wrist and I'd have to slow him down and have him move by the arm instead. "Wooww, you truly are a man. You're willing to hurt your joints if it means getting to cum sooner?" Cooing at him, taunting him. While at the same time, the bigger arm movements make it more noticeable what he's doing, and all the more embarrassing if he gets caught.

Took me awhile to respond because I've been wanting to think of a good response & I have been busy. I love this a lot though, so feel free to send more ideas and stories!

#i have moral-based intrusive thoughts so I am compulsively letting it be known that this situation would be roleplay with safewords #i know everyone knows this already but the intrusive thoughts won & now I have to do the compulsion #force masc #forcemasc #anon #forcemasc ask game #anon stories #piss kink #pisskink

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storydays · 8 months ago

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Welcome to Heaven P2

(3rd POV)

*In Heaven Meeting Room*

"Heavenly people, what more do you need to see?" Adam asked, as the court room watch Angel and Cherri take shots. "The porn star chose a night of debauchery. That's not a soul worthy of being in Heaven!" He exclaimed.

"Um, objection! Are you really telling me you've never had a drink with friends at the end of a hard day?" Charlie asked.

"Uh, we don't have hard days. It's fuckin' Heaven, bitch. You seriously going to sit there and pretend like this behavior is okay? What do you think?" The yellow angel asked Vaggie as Charlie and (Y/N) growled lowly.

"I--I--I have to go to the bathroom." Vaggie stuttered before rushing off. "What, Vaggie, can't you hold it?" Charlie hissed after her.

"Angel will make good decisions! We have to keep watching! Please." (Y/N) pleaded. Sera sighed heavily before turning to Emily. "Yeah, I don't know." "Yeah, let's give him a chance." The younger Seraphim replied.

"Very well; the court will allow it." "Fuck, yes!" Charlie cheered, fist pumping herself. (Y/N) noticed the looks she was receiving and elbowed Charlie who quickly corrected herself. "I mean, heh, thank you."

*In Consent Club*

Angel tossed his head back as Cherri approached with more in her hands. "Round 12, mother fuckers! Heels are comin' off!" "Haha! Yeah, keep 'em comin'!" laughed the spider, reaching for another. "Come on, right here, right to Daddy." He giggled. "Oh, it is wonderful to have friends!" Sir Pentious cackled, tossing his head back, enjoying the sting of the alcohol.

"Everything's spinny, hehe." Niffty giggled, reaching for a little more. "Ha ha! I think you're done, tiny." Angel took the shot from her, giving it to Husk who downed two shots at the same time. "No! Gimmie gimmie gimmie!" Niffty whined, reaching for the glass.

"Oh, come on, bitch, she can handle a little more!" Cherri scowled. "She's like ten pounds soaking wet, and--" Angel defended before noticing the cyclops maid was gone.

"Oh, shit. Where'd she go?"

Niffty ignored the angry yells as she cleaned up group of men's table. "Dirty, dirty, make it clean." Niffty said manically.

"Dammit, Niffty. Sorry fellas, here, next one's on me." Angel threw a wad of cash at the men, rolling his eyes at how they fought over it.

"Niffty? Shit!" Angel cursed, seeing the redhead raiding the cleaning closet. "Chlorine....Bleach...."

Angel went to stop her, when Cherri stopped him in his path, with her hands on her hip. "Angie, the fuck are you doing? You're supposed to be relaxing, not playing nanny."

"Look, she ain't used to this scene. I-I just don't want her to end up in the gutter like I used to." Angel protested.

"Pfft, whatever, nerd. Just catch up when you're done." The pink haired Cyclops walked away and Angel snatched Niffty up. "Stop! You can't take that! God Niff, why are you bein' such a mess?!" He snapped.

"I-I'm the mess?" Niffty started bawling loudly. "Oh, oh shit! Hey, hey, hey...calm down, ya ain't a mess. It's fine, ssshhhh, hey, you wanna play with the kitty?" Angel panicked, before using his second pair of hands to rub soothing circles on Niffty's back and in her hair.

"Yeah." whined Niffty.

"The fuck is this?" Husk demanded as Niffty climbed all over him, and started pulling at his ears and eyebrows. "She's wasted." Angel deadpanned before smiling. "Just go with it."

"Re-really?! Ugh, get the--" He sighed, accepting his fate as Niffty started pulling on his wings.

"Ahh, hey, wow!" Pentious, who was clearly drunk, slid over to where Cherri was sitting boredly. "Hey, so, I see the club has a sex room. So I was thinking, maybe you'd want to uhm, do a sex with me?" He asked awkwardly.

Cherri snorted, suddenly interested. "I'm sorry, why would we have sex?" "Uh, uh, um.. because I'm having sex with everyone here!" He exclaimed loudly, yelping when a group of demons dragged him into a room. "Get in here."

Cherri shook her head, before perking up seeing Angel approach with Husk and Niffty behind him. "You know, we can do this fucking shit every fucking night! You don't have to spend all of your off hours, 'working on yourself,' you little bitch."She grinned, ignoring Angel's raised eyebrow.

"The hotel isn't a problem in his life, it's--" Husk defended before trailing off. "Valentino." Angel muttered darkly, looking off to the side.

"Exactly. So why don't you---"

"No. Valentino." Angel's voice wobbled as he pointed at the moth sitting with two other demoness's. "Yeah, I'm here all the time, they know me. You're gorgeous...do you need a job? How many dicks can you suck? Ooh, I could make you a star..." Valentino continued to talk as Angel started shaking in fear.

"L-Let's get the fuck outta here, ok? Come on.---" He started to walk out when he realized something. Sparing a glance at Val over his shoulder, he quickly took notice of who was missing. "Where's Niffty?" "...Porn star. Okay, yup, bring me another drink or I'll fucking kill you." Val's voice carried over the party noise as Niffty ran over to him, giggling, "Bad boy. Hehehehe."

Angel, despite his fear, ran after her, muttering under his breath as he pushed through the crowd. "Excuse me. Pardon me. Get out of my way."

He quickly caught Niffty, just as she was approaching Valentino. "Holy shit, Angel Dust? What are you doing here, baby?" cooed the moth. "I'm surprised to see you not riding the prince's dick." he mocked, making a dick gesture.

"Funny." Angel rolled his eyes. "Who's this chiquita? You bringing me fresh meat?" Val asked, leaning closer to eye Niffty.

Niffty tried to bite him.

"Oi!" exclaimed Valentino, leaning back in his seat, allowing the two demoness's to lean back against him.

"I just want a taste." Niffty growled with a grin. "Ehh, weird, but there's a kink for that I'm sure." shrugged the pimp.

"Fuck off, Val." Hissed Angel, standing up, holding Niffty close. "Excuse me?" Val narrowed his eyes.

"I said, fuck off. I put up with your bullshit for the longest time, and I will never let you get your claws into my friends."

"You forget who you're talking to, slut?" "No, I know exactly who I'm talking to: An insecure piece of shit, who makes himself feel better beating up and taking advantage of vulnerable people and who is incapable of feeling anything other than greed, you , twisted, heartless son of a bitch." Val growled lowly, making a smoke chain appear, and he went to raise a hand to hit the spider, when suddenly a (f/c) chain pulled him to his knees, to be face to face with a shadow version of the prince.

" Did you forget our deal, Valentino?" cooed the Shadow Prince, tail lazily swinging behind him. The pimp gulped nervously.

"Ugh, n-no, never." stuttered the moth, as the shadow version of (Y/N) narrowed his red eyes before pulling the moth close to him, effectively gagging him. Angel, Niffty, and Husk watched with wide eyes.

"Hm. So you weren't about to put your hands on Angel? You're saying I'm lying?"

"No, Príncipe. Angel and I were just having a---" He choked when the shadow pulled harshly, before turning to the crowd. "Who here had seen Valentino raise his hand to Angel?" He called, raising an eyebrow at the many hands that had went up.

The moth was shaking from where he was kneeling as he realized his mistake.

" Niffty, dear." The shadow nodded his head, and Niffty snatched some fluff off of Val's neck. "Ow! What the fuck?!" He exclaimed. "For my collection, hehe."

"I think, Valentino, I let you off too easy last time. Until I return from my meeting, you are going back to the...playroom. And if you think last time was horrifying.." The shadow laughed darkly, watching as the horror spread across Valentino's face. "Just wait, motherfucker. Just wait." And with the both Valentino and the shadow disappeared, with the shadow prince's laughter echoing through the club.

"Fuck, that was kind of hot." Angel sighed, thinking of his fiance. "Good job, kid." Husk smiled, patting Angel on the back as they finally walked back to Cherri. "Uh, Niffty, what's the fluff for?" Husk asked. "For my collection, hehehe." She chuckled.

"Did you just call these cunts your friends? Thought that was my job." She chuckled, looking proud of Angel. "There's room for everyone, and ya know, you could come crash with us too." Angel smiled.

"Okay, look Angie, I'm glad this hotel shit is workin' for ya. But you know me, bitch. I'm doin' just fine. In fact, I'm gonna fuck the next guy I see, okay?" Cherri chuckled, starting to walk away before turning back to him with a soft smile, "But, if you need me, you know where to find me, yeah?"

She walked away, just as Pentious approached, panting heavily. "Is Cherri still here?"

Angel and Husk both pointed at Cherri as she walked hand in hand with a random demon into a sex room. "Dammit!" He exclaimed.

*Back in the Heaven courtroom*

"See! He did everything on your checklist! He was selfless, he stopped Niffty from stealing, and he stuck it to that moth man!" Charlie exclaimed proudly.

"Uhh, well, uh...then, then why isn't he here then? Hm?" Ace demanded. "Yeah, why isn't he here?" Emily asked Sera who looked away.

The court room started muttering uneasily. "Wait, none of you know what gets someone into Heaven?" (Y/N) spoke up, glaring as Sera spoke up.

"This questioning stops now. We know when a soul arrives, we know when they pass divine judgement. It is our job to ensure these souls are safe." Sera said firmly, as Emily looked at Adam;s list, confusion on her face.

Charlie stared in horror as Vaggie was revealed to be an exorcist angel, while (Y/N) watched the teal angel known as Ash carefully. He'd heard that singing voice from somewhere, but where...?

"I'm sorry, but this court finds that there is no evidence souls in Hell can be redeemed." Sera spoke firmly.

"Oh, fuck yes! I win. Suck it bitches!"

Vaggie and Charlie backed up, as (Y/N) stood in front of them, sword in his hand, ready to defend, as the angels approached.

"You better save the date, cunts." Adam smirked as Lute and Ash appeared over him, giving him an even more sinister look. Ash took his mask and hood off to reveal.....

"Archer?"

(Y/N)'s voice cracked, seeing his ex alive and grinning evilly at him. "Uh, the name is Ash. And we're coming to your hotel, first!"

With a snap of his fingers, Adam opened a portal that started to suck the three into it. "What? No,no, you can't--" "Oh, you mother--" Vaggie and Charlie both protested as they were sucked in. (Y/N) remained silent as he held eye contact with Arc--Ash who grinned darkly and flicked him off, before the portal closed in the prince's face. "Charlie! Don't give up on this! I'll figure something out, I promise!" Emily called.

"That was uncalled for, Adam." Sera scolded.

"Yeah, but did you see the looks on their fucking faces? It was... Ahem. Sorry." He cleared his throat before flying over to Lute and Ash, who had a quizzical look on his face. "Hey, what gives, asshat?" He asked the teal angel.

"The prince. He called me Archer...and I never notice 'til now, but he looks awfully familiar." Ash hummed, missing the looks the other two exorcists shared.

"Ah, don't worry your pretty little head about it, babe. Probably some demon shit." Adam shrugged, flying off, Lute following. "Yeah, you're probably right." shrugged the fox angel before flying off as well.

"Extermination, of human souls. Demon or not, there is no reason to be doing this." Emily snapped.

"They were uprising, Emily." Sera said, eyes glowing slightly in tune with her feelings, "It is my position as the Head Seraphim to protect our people at all costs, and it's your position to keep them happy and joyful. "

"How can I bring joy when I now know we are bringing misery to thousands of innocent people?" Whimpered Emily.

"Heaven needs us, Emily. Everyone looks to us and we can't doubt ourselves or worry about the fates of demons when we have our own souls to protect. Please, if you start to question, you could end up like Lucifer: fallen. I couldn't bear to see you suffer that fate. So please, let me worry about this, okay?" She pressed a kiss to Emily's head, "I'm sorry."

*Back in Hell*

(Y/N), Vaggie and Charlie collapsed on the hotel's floor, startling the rest of the hotel members from where they were lounging on the couches waiting for their return.

"Sooo, how'd it go?" Angel asked, going over to hug (Y/N) when he noticed the haunted look in his eyes. "Sweetcheeks?" He asked, kneeling in front of his lover, grunting softly when (Y/N) hugged him tightly, hyperventilating and sobbing. Angel's arms wrapped around him and he stood up, holding him close.

Without sparing a look to anyone, Angel quickly ran to their shared room and slammed the door, leaning against it, as he rocked (Y/N) back and forth, waiting for him to stop crying.

Eventually, the harsh sobs quited down to an occasional sniffle, but he continued to cling to Angel.

"Bambino, let's take a quick shower, get in our pjs, and then we can cuddle in bed. We don't have to talk--"

"No." replied the prince, voice heavy with emotion.

"Okay, what do you need from me?"

"Fuck me."

Angel's eyes widen as he looked down at (Y/N) who refused to look at him. "What?"

"Fuck me. I want you to fuck me, I don't want to remember anyone's love but yours. Please. We can shower and stuff after, but please...help me forget." He pleaded, wrapping his tail around the spider's waist.

"Bambino, I won't fuck you."

The prince started to protest when Angel ran a hand through his hair, "But I will make love to you. I love you too much to hurt you." "I love you too. I love you so much." (Y/N) whimpered before being pulled into loving arms.

#storydays #hazbin hotel husk #hazbin hotel x male reader #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel #viziepop #hazbin angel dust #x male reader #hazbin lucifer #hazbin valentino #princemorningstar

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pawfulofwaffles · 9 months ago

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Anyone ever pretend you don't know something for a paper? Like it says "what complex idea did you learn from this book?" and you were already well aware of the complex idea in the book but you're like "oh yeah I this is what i learned" anyways?

haha I am trying to finish two school papers at once and I am switching between which one i am writng every 10 minutes. this is driving me insane.

#why yes mr. george i had no clue that morals and regret were quite complex #and that remorse and mentality plays a big part in how you should judge someone for their actions #ssshhhh #don't tell him #thoughtfulwaffles #self reblog

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broken-glowsticks · 10 months ago

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What Once was Mine

Chapter 11 - When, How, and Why

Genre: Childhood friends, Eventual Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Love corner/love triangle, love rivals, Series.

NOT ALL CHAPTERS WILL BE PROOF READ!!

Warnings: 18+, mdni, mentions of sex and alcohol consumption, additional warnings will be added to individual chapters as needed.

Additional warnings: mentions of explicit sex, loss of virginity, fingering (f receiving), piv, mentions of an underage related, mentions of bruises and bodily harm, slight angst.

Previous • Main • Next

“What do you mean he almost kissed you?!” Felix's deep baritone ricocheted off the walls of his room, immediately followed by your hasty shushing.

“Ssshhhh! Felix, shut your face! I don't want Chan to hear!”

“Chan's elbows deep in work right now, his headphones are basically fused to his head. He's not going to hear anything.” Felix retorted, grabbing your wrists and removing the hands you had shoved against his mouth to shut him up. He didn't let you go, though. “Now spill,” he commanded, pulling you closer, a devious smile on his lips, “what exactly happened?”

With a sigh, you pulled your hands from Felix's grasp. Scooting closer to him on his bed, you tried to keep your voice down as you relayed the events that had happened the previous night.

“No fucking way, you little tease!” Felix basically sang as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder, drawing you in to roughly nuzzle you.

“Ow, ow, ow, Felix, knock it off!” You whined, shoving him off you and yanking away the pillow he was leaning on as a form of cover. Felix only giggled.

“Alright, joking aside,” Felix began, once again pulling you in but gentler this time. “How do you feel about what almost happened?”

You sighed. Laying down, you rested your head on Felix's leg, gathering your thoughts as he began to tenderly stroke your hair. How did you really feel about Hyunjin almost kissing you?

“I feel like there's something going on that he's not telling me.”

“Okay, elaborate?”

“Hyunjin… struggles to communicate how he feels, he always has. The sex… always meant more.”

“More for him? I thought it was just something casual?” Felix meant no harm in his questions, genuinely wanting to understand. Before tonight, Felix didn't know Hyunjin as anything other than an obstacle to you and Changbins’ budding relationship. Everything he's ever learned about the guy has come from Jisungs’ blatant and self-admitted biased view. And while you knew Felix was still trying to sort things out, it still stung to be reminded how much you wished the sex with Hyunjin meant something different than it did. But you never pushed. You never dared to expose yourself like that because the entire time you were with him, you knew what those moments meant for Hyunjin.

“Hooking up…” you began, trying to find the words to properly express yourself, “sure, we would sometimes do it for fun or to de-stress, but that's not how it started.”

“Then… how did it start?” Taking your face in his hands, Felix leaned over, meeting his eyes with yours. “If the sex wasn't mainly just for fun, then what made you two start up in the first place?”

Your lips pressed into a thin line. You struggled to hold Felix's gaze, but he asked, and you've never spoken about this to anyone, not even Jisung, who's known you since before Hyunjin even re-entered your life. You don't know why you never spoke about it, maybe it was time.

“Alright, let's get some snacks and something to drink, I might get emotional.”

○●♡☆♡●○

You sniffled as you curled yourself further under your fluffy comforter, makeup smearing against your pillow - you didn't care, you were too heartbroken. Tonight was supposed to be the best date of your teenage life, never would you have thought someone from Hyunjins untouchable circle would take any kind of interest in you, you always assumed they thought too highly of themselves based on how they acted in the halls. Turns out you were right.

You had planned this night for days. All dressed up in the new outfit you had gotten at the mall with Jisung and his girlfriend, even tentatively donning the pretty lingerie set you had snuck off to buy in the event things got heated and felt right. Your parents weren't home, set to be gone until some time tomorrow afternoon. You had made a simple dinner and picked out a few movies to possibly rent in the event the night stayed chaste. Everything was all set, yet as time ticked by, you began to worry. When your dates' appointed arrival time came and went, you began to get nervous, texting him and Hyunjin in an attempt to get ahold of the elusive boy.

You weren't expecting Hyunjin to be able to do much, he had mentioned he had plans of his own and would check in whenever he had the time, but so far he had only been able to reply twice - both times before your date was even meant to begin. At least Hyunjin managed to reply at all. You had debated over calling Jisung, but you very much didn't want to deal with the embarrassment of admitting you may have gotten stood up because he was so against the date in the first place, only helping because you expressed it was something you really wanted. Maybe you should call your date? Not wanting to seem clingy and give him the benefit of the doubt you simply assumed his phone had died or something of the sort, leading you to lay on the couch to wait for him, eating chocolate and ice cream with some random YouTube videos playing to fill the dead air as you scrolled social media. That's when you saw it.

You had followed this boy on Instagram a little bit ago, hanging on his every post as a way to glean more knowledge of him, but at this moment you wished you didn't even know about his Instagram page at all. There, at the very top of your feed, was a carousel of images of him at a party, an impossibly gorgeous girl clinging to him like shrink wrap.

A burn scorched your throat as it tightened, your heart dropping to your stomach. Hot, angry tears welled in your eyes as, stupidly, you tapped on his profile picture and pulled up his stories, the time stamp indicating he posted only minutes ago. He looked like he was having so much fun, especially with that girl who was showing up often. The final nail in the coffin was when you saw your would-be date's final story, where - presumably - one of his friends had filmed him explicitly licking whipped cream off the girl's chest. Broken and disgusted, you aggressively dashed away your phone, escaping your room to wallow in your sorrows. You stayed there, sobbing, until you had no more tears to give, seeking solace within the plush embrace of your bed.

You were unsure when you started debating over cleaning up, maybe eating the dinner you made - no point in letting good food go to waste. You had only just managed to sit upright in your bed when you heard the tell-tale sign of a fist thrashing against your door, frequent ringing of your doorbell accompanying. The barrage of noise startled you into place, and you thought about pretending you weren't even home, but the sounds of a well-known voice shouting through the wood eased your nerves.

“Y/N? Beautiful, it's me, open up!!” Hyunjins strained voice shouted, screaming at the top of his lungs in hopes you would be able to hear him regardless of wherever you were hiding in the house.

Wordlessly, you made your way from your bed to the front door, turning on the front light so he knew you were there.

“Hyunjin, what are you-?”

“I'm gonna kill that fucking ass-hole,” Hyunjin growled through grit teeth the moment you opened the door, cutting you off by placing his hands on either side of your face. He could feel his temper rising as he took in your smudged makeup and red, puffy eyes. Despite his rough tone he held your face so gently that you almost began to cry again. “I swear to you, I didn't know he was going to do this.”

“I know it wasn't your fault Jinnie…” you breathed, attempting to remain collected enough to not give into your heartbreak. It wasn't enough, as soon as you opened your mouth to reassure him another sob tore from you and you were once again lost. Hyunjin didn't bat an eye, wrapping himself around you and holding you so tightly it felt as though he was the only thing even remotely keeping you together.

“I knew it was too good to be true, but I still believed that he might like me. That, maybe, I had a chance. God, I feel so stupid, Hyunjin!” You clung to Hyunjins denim jacket as you wailed shamelessly into the collar, “and… and when I saw his stories, how this girl was glued to him… it's dumb and I know I deserve better, but I still couldn't help but wonder why couldn't that be me? Did he think I wasn't good enough, not hot enough? What am I missing that I'm so undesirable to him?”

“Y/N stop,” Hyunjins hands were once again at your face, drawing your gaze to his. “You're beautiful, you know you are. Just because this guy doesn't see it, that doesn't mean it's not true. Hell, you even just said that you know you deserve better.” he said gently, pressing his forehead to yours. “God I'm so fucking angry,” he muttered more to himself than anything, squeezing his eyes shut. How dare this prick of a “friend” hurt you like this, in the exact same way he did?

“I know… I know I deserve better, I'm not ugly, but it's so hard to feel like I'm pretty, that I'm desirable at all, when guys keep rejecting me.”

“All those guys are idiots.” Hyunjin sighed, “I wish I could show you how desirable you really are,” he said in a whisper, his brows furrowed and eyes squeezing tighter. It hurt him so much to hear you speak like that.

“I love you for wanting that, but… I don't see how you could,” you whimpered, placing your hands over his, your glossy eyes drifting over his pained features. Was it just the harsh shadows from the front light, or did he have a couple of bruises on his face?

“I can think of one way,” Hyunjin said, his voice coming out small, almost shy. This surprised you. You couldn't remember the last time he came off as shy.

“What do you mean, Jinnie?” You asked in an equally soft tone, your curiosity and fear of spooking him out of sharing his idea overtaking the uncertainty of the possible bruises on his face.

Hyunjins eyes open slowly, his gaze unreadable. You didn't know what it was, but something about the intensity of his stare made you flush, rendering you speechless. Eventually, the longer you looked, the better you could see it - the internal war he was having with himself. Whatever his thought was, he was unsure over whether or not to follow through. For Hyunjin, he was unsure if this would help or if it was even something you needed. He was worried that after what happened to him tonight, he was focusing too much over what he needed.

“Are you not going to tell me?” You finally asked, trying to goad him into fussing up, “did you change your mind?”

“No, I just… I don't want to upset you.”

“Sounds like you have something risky in mind.”

“That's putting it lightly,” he chuckled, ghosting his thumb over your cheek. “I don't think we'd be the same after, and that scares me, I don't want you to shut me out, Beautiful.”

“Just do it, Jinnie. I know that regardless of whatever you have in mind, you just want to help. I could never be upset at you for that.”

“Are you sure?” He rasped, snaking one of his arms around your waist. Your pulse thudded at his actions, but after a stiff swallow, you nodded anyway.

“I'm sure Hyunjin, I trust you.”

Hyunjins eyes became hooded as he scanned your face, his lower lip catching between his teeth as he tipped your chin up with the hand that wasn't increasing its grip on your waist. You stopped breathing as Hyunjin ran his thumb over your lower lip, taking in the softness of your skin before delving in for a bite.

You whimpered at the gentle sting as he tugged at your lower lip, eyes screwed shut and hands clutching at his tear stained denim jacket. Before you could even question what was happening, Hyunjins' other arm wrapped around you, pulling your body hard against his as he tilted his head to kiss you properly. Your head spun. All you could focus on was his soft, plush, lips, and warm breath.

A squeal sneaked out of you when Hyunjin licked your lower lip, allowing him to slip between your lips when you gasped in surprise. You put up no fight, allowing him to roam as he pleased. You were so lost in everything about him, his touch, his smell, his taste. It was as if you were caught in a current drifting you further out to sea. Was this why every girl in town wanted a chance just to spend a night with him? Or was he so good because he got around? He was just kissing you, and you could feel your excitement stirring. How did it feel to do more than just kiss him? Wanting to know you released your grip on his jacket, slipping your hands beneath the collar.

Hyunjin shuttered at your cool touch, a stark contrast to the hot skin of his neck. Goosebumps raised as he felt you slip his jacket off of him, and he released your waist to help you along, dropping the fabric by the front door and kicking off his shoes. He was so focused that he let out a small noise of surprise when you slipped your hands under the hem of his shirt, hands resting on his abdomen.

“Y/N,” he murmured against your lips, chuckling when you refused to stop kissing him. Running a hand into your hair, he held on gently as he pulled away, full on grinning when your lips tried to chase after him, “easy there, girl.”

“Why'd you stop?” You softly whined, somewhat out of breath, a pout on your sweet lips.

“I just don't want to keep this up right by the front door, I keep thinking your parents are going to catch us or something,” Hyunjin said light heartedly, his eyes still lingering on your lips. He already wanted to kiss you again.

“Then…” you began, feeling shy at what you were about to suggest, “my room?”

“Your room,” Hyunjin agreed, lifting you from the floor and carrying your giggly self to your bed. Tearing off his flannel and climbing on top of you, he finally took a moment to take in your outfit. His heart sank once he realized this outfit was new, and you looked absolutely stunning in it. How dare your date not come to see how much effort you put in for tonight. Hyunjins hands clenched at your sheets as he told himself that at least you wouldn't have dressed up for nothing. He wouldn't let your efforts tonight go to waste.

“Hyunjin, are you alright?” Hyunjins eyes met yours, and he leaned in to place a kiss to the tip of your nose.

“I'm just nervous, I didn’t think you'd take it this far.”

“I didn't either,” you admitted, suddenly unable to look at him, “but I just… I liked what we were doing, how you were making me feel.” Your cheeks burned, but Hyunjin was right. You deserved to feel beautiful, and you were grateful that it was Hyunjin who was making you feel this way. “Hyunjin… I- I want you to keep going… would you… would you be my first?”

Hyunjins’ breath caught in his throat, and in an instant, he no longer felt like the full of confidence school bad boy. Instead, he was just a boy, a boy with his heart hammering in his chest as he looked down at the girl he secretly loved with the widest eyes imaginable.

“Are- Are you sure?” He whispered, the tremor in his voice matching the one shaking his body.

“Yes,” you breathed, finding the courage to look at him again. “I'm sure.”

With a fervored nod of his head, Hyunjin sat up and hastily fumbled for his wallet in his back pocket, praying that he still had a condom tucked away. With relief, he found one. He couldn't stop shaking.

“I'll stop whenever you tell me to,” Hyunjin said with a mix of excitement and anxiety, placing the condom next to you on the bed, “you call all the shots. I won't do anything you're not comfortable with, okay?”

Unable to speak, you nodded, taking several deep, steadying breaths as Hyunjin returned above you, wasting no time to kiss you sweetly. You did your best to focus on the moment, on the slant of his lips, the smell of his cologne clinging to his undershirt, of his shaky hand that trailed under your shirt to run his hand over your breast which caused your breath to hitch.

“Y/N, are you wearing lingerie?” Hyunjin murmured. Your hands flew to your face to cover your now tomato red face before he could even finish asking his question. Once again, you were only able to nod. With a groan, Hyunjin, unceremoniously and without warning, pushed your shirt up as far as it would go before sitting back on his haunches and tearing your bottoms off of you. Fuck, to think that good-for-nothing almost saw you in this. “I can't tell you how glad I am to be the only one to see you in this,” he said admiringly, pressing kisses to your knees, then down your inner thighs.

Hyunjin paused for a moment, giving you a chance to stop him before he went any further, but when you remained hiding behind your hands he continued to pepper kisses between your thighs as he worked his way down. With a small smirk, Hyunjin traced the little bow that topped the front of your lace panties. You were a present just for him. He felt grateful, getting something just for him.

Wanting to show just how appreciative he was, Hyunjin spread your legs, slotting his head in between them and placing soft kisses to your covered heat. He relished in your shy, needy whimpers as he ran his fingers up and down your clothed slit, pressing more kisses over your clit as the dampness against your panties worsened.

“I'm going to eat you out first before we do this, baby, I want you relaxed and feeling good before I try sliding in,” he instructed as he pulled your panties down your legs with his teeth and slid his finger over your now exposed slit.

You were already a panting mess from this little bit of stimulation, your hands no longer hiding your face but bunched at your chest as you watched him toy with you. You had never seen this side of Hyunjin before and were getting more and more aroused as he focused on your pleasure. You couldn't take your eyes off him, especially as he rested one of your legs over his shoulder, collecting your wetness on his middle finger before easing it between your folds. He pumped the digit in and out a few times, checking if there was any discomfort before easing in another finger. Your eyes fluttered closed at the filling sensation, savoring the delicious drag of his fingers as they slowly pumped in and out of you. Hyunjin took great care in building you up, exploring which spots were your weakest and prodding at them mercilessly until you were shaking beneath him. Right when you thought the sensation couldn't get more intense, Hyunjins' tongue slid over your sensitive clit, causing your hips to buck. Hyunjin grunted but continued licking and swirling his tongue over the bundle of nerves as his fingers continued to expertly press at your gummy walls. Hyunjin was reading you so well and all you could do was grasp at his hair and cry out pathetic moans beneath him.

Before you could even say anything, your orgasm rapidly built before exploding, your creaminess coating Hyunjins’ tongue and fingers. Your body shuttered, and Hyunjin continued to rub you walls as he helped ease you down.

“That's it, baby, you did so good. Just stay relaxed, okay?” Hyunjin cooed, licking you from his lips and fingers and reaching for the condom, “are you ready?”

“I- I think so,” you stammered out, surprised at yourself for managing to speak. Your head felt so cluttered, unable to believe Hyunjin just made you cum. Hyunjin, the guy you've known since you were a kid and who you've been able to platonically share a bed with. You were almost starting to second guess whether or not you should really go through with this, maybe Hyunjin was right about things changing, maybe it would change too much and you'd lose the closeness you had.

You didn't have time to dwell on these hesitant thoughts, Hyunjin unbuttoning his jeans and beginning to slip them down caught your full attention and you could do nothing but watch with bated breath as his stunning cock sprang free. It was too late. You had passed the point of no return, and there was nothing left to do but indulge, to let yourself dive as deep as you could and let yourself drown.

Or maybe that's just how Hyunjin was seeing it. Tonight did not go as he planned, before he deigned to open social media - all the while hiding in a tube slide at a child's park - he had gotten hurt, he was on the run, in overlapping shades of pain, his only solace being that at least you were having a good night with one of his friends. When Hyunjin had seen that the guy had ditched you for a party and some other girl, he couldn't think of a worse end to his night than leaving you to ache alone. So he ran to you, risking himself further with the exposure, but he didn't matter at that moment. He would swallow everything down, just for a chance to lift your spirits, he could deal with his own pain later, he just needed to help you otherwise he didn't think he could last the night.

He truly wasn't thinking of himself when he kissed you, Hyunjin only wanted to do whatever he could to prove to you that you are worthy of being wanted. But when you pulled him close, when you wanted more, Hyunjin realized he needed the same thing - only in a slightly different way.

Tonight had been horrible for you and Hyunjin before he came to you. He was not going to let the sun rise without something good happening for the both of you not realizing that the moment he took your hand in his, both sets of clothes now discarded on your bedroom floor, lips and tongues melting together as his protected head teasing your entrance, that he was giving the both of you the thing you wanted from each other the most.

It hurt, of course, but Hyunjin was gentle. Easing himself in and out in sections, going inch by inch and refusing to push deeper until you were accustomed. He didn't want you to cry. He refused to make you bleed, and when he finally finally bottomed out, you thought you were going to faint from how shallow your breathing was.

“Breath, baby, breath,” he whispered, kissing you tenderly, “I won't move until you breathe.”

“Hyunjin…” you whined, wrapping your arms around his neck and drinking in his gentle attention. “It's okay, you can move, it doesn't hurt,” you reassured. With a few more kisses, Hyunjin rested his forehead for yours before he slowly rolled his hips into yours.

You squeezed your eyes shut, the sensation - while not entirely painful - felt foreign, and you struggled to acclimate quickly, but you refused to let him stop. You knew you just needed to ride this out, that it would get better, and it did. You could feel your body accepting him and soon wanting more.

“Jinnie… more, it's not enough, more,” you mewled, wrapping your legs around his waist in an attempt to draw him closer.

“Okay, Beautiful, I'll take care of you. Just lay back, Jinnie will make you feel good,” Hyunjin murmured, pressing kissing into your neck and picking up his pace, earning himself a few sweet moans.

It was only when all tension left your body that Hyunjin dared to truly let himself enjoy you. Adjusting so he was on his knees, he pulled your legs up, holding each behind your knees as he began to truly fuck himself into you. Hyunjin watched as your sweet, shy moans turned into heated, wanton screams as he plowed into your gummy spot. Never did he think he would see you make such a gorgeous face or hear your pussy make such filthy squelching sounds as his dick slipped in and out of you. For a moment, Hyunjin thought he was dreaming as he watched you drown in bliss below him. If he was, he never wanted to wake up. He wanted to stay right here, in this too-good-to-be-true moment where all the worries from hours ago purged themselves from his mind.

“Hyun… Jin… Jinnie…” you gasped out, feeling the pressure from your building orgasm start to grow.

“Does it feel good, Beautiful? Are you gonna cum?” He asked in ragged breaths.

“Yes… yes, I think I'm close. Oh, please don't stop,” you begged, closing your eyes and throwing your head back onto your pillow. Almost as soon as you finished uttering those words, your body clenched around him as you came for the second time, a creamy ring coating Hyunjins dick.

“Fuck, baby,” Hyunjin groaned, slamming his dick into you more rapidly as he chased his own orgasm.

Feeling his hips beginning to stutter, you forced your tired eyes to open just in time to watch Hyunjins’ beautiful face twist in pleasure as he came, melodic moans bouncing off your walls. You did your best to memorize that face as he came down from his high.

After a moment of catching his breath, Hyunjin eased himself out of you to remove the condom, your body giving a shudder at the lack of his body heat.

“Let's clean up, yeah?” Hyunjin suggested, helping you up from the bed and leading the two of you to the bathroom. The following intimate moments of clean-up felt oddly comfortable and right. Once your post-orgasm bliss had faded, you expected an air of awkwardness to be lingerie around you both, but there never was.

“Hey, can I wear your flanel?”

“What?” Hyunjin asked with a laugh.

“That's what always happens in the movies. The girl wears the guys clothes after sex. I kinda wanna try it.”

“Just for a bit? That's dumb,” he replied but handed you his flannel anyway as he grabbed the rest of his clothes to put back on.

You needed to change out of your lingerie set, so you opted to wear nothing but his flannel, a comfort pair of panties, and some knee-high socks. You wanted to wear his shirt for the bit, so you were going to commit. Besides, he had officially seen too much for you to be shy at this point.

“Was this food meant to be for tonight?” Hyunjins voice called from the kitchen. You didn't notice he had left your room since he didn't bother to shut the door.

“Yeah,” you replied as you joined him in the dimly lit kitchen, missing his double take and blushing at your choice in attire. “I was actually going to come eat it before you showed up. It's meant for two, want some, or have you eaten?”

“I haven't. Go rest, I'll heat this up.” With a smile, you nodded, leaning up to place a peck on his still tinted cheek.

“Thank you for coming tonight, Jinnie. I needed it.”

“Yeah, of course, Beautiful,” he said as you walked into the living room, “I needed it too…” he added, but you were too far to hear.

It didn't take long for the food to be reheated and soon the two of you were nestled on the couch together, sharing a blanket in the dark living room as one of the movies you had picked out for tonight played.

“In a way, I'm kind of glad the jackass never showed up, I got to have this date with you instead,” Hyunjins said rather sincerely. It made your heart flutter.

“I'm glad too. He set you up to come to my rescue and make my night better. Maybe even better than if he had actually shown up.”

“Do you really mean that?” Hyunjin asked, his heart melting as he set down his plate to pull you close and nuzzle you, “awwwww you're too sweet!”

“Alright, alright, that's enough!” You laughed, pushing his face from yours. You had meant the gesture to be light-hearted, but your nerves spiked the instant Hyunjins head shot back in recoil, giving a small hiss of pain. “Oh my god, Hyunjin, are you okay? I'm sorry, I didn't mean-”

“No, no, no, it's ok,” he reassured, his hand hovering over his eye as if he wanted to soothe the skin but feared touching it.

“Are you sure? Let me see,” you attempted to get closer, but Hyunjins long arm held you back.

“I'm fine, Y/N, let's just watch the movie.”

You blinked at him before frowning and attempted to lunge at him again.

“Hyunjin, what are you hiding from me?”

“Nothing!” He said a little too defensively. Not in the mood to play games, you stood from the couch and walked off. Hyunjin assumed this was you pouting but ultimately dropped the matter, how wrong he was.

Stomping to the light switch, you bathed the livingstone in bright light, noticing the completely unsubtle way Hyunjin dove for cover. You weren't letting this slide. Over to the couch, you didn't even attempt to pull away the pillow Hyunjin used to cover his face, instead climbing on top of him and began to tickle his sides. Instantly, his body began to jerk and wiggle, but he was adamant on not letting you see his face. However, he was struggling to handle your body on top of him and soon had no choice but to tip the both of you off the couch in an attempt to ease the ache.

This did not work in his favor. Easily catching yourself, you now stood over him, the small fall making him release his grip on the pillow just enough for you to yank it from his hands.

Your arms paused as you held the pillow mid-air in shock. Your eyes weren't playing tricks earlier. It wasn't just a trick of the light. Blooming across his cheek bone and at the corner of his lips were two bruises, and there was even a small cut near his brow that would easily be covered by his hair, were he not on his back.

“Hyunjin, what happened to you…?” You breathed, dropping the pillow. Slowly dropping to your knees, you sat on Hyunjins hips, keeping him pinned in place so he couldn't escape.

Hyunjin didn't answer. He couldn’t even meet your eyes as your fingers barely ghosted over the discolored skin. Without realizing it, you dropped your hand on his side, only to snap your hand away when he flinched in pain. You sat as still as a statue for a few moments before reaching down and lifting his shirt, showing more discoloration.

You felt horrible. How could you not notice? How could you not see? The instant the thought popped into your head, realization hit you.

“This is why you didn't want to be by the front door… with the light right on you. You didn't worry in my room cause the lights were off, and in the bathroom and kitchen too… There was only dim lighting. It was so I couldn't see.” The look of guilt on Hyunjins face was all you needed to confirm that you were right. He was hiding this from you, but why? What happened to your Hyunjin that he came to you so hurt?

“Please don't cry, beautiful. You've already cried so much tonight.”

“Then tell me what happened,” you said firmly.

Hyunjins lips pressed together, he didn't want to open up, he especially didn't want to ruin the special evening you two were just having together. But he knew you wouldn't let this slide, and if he was honest… someone about the way you were dressed brought him back to the surprising feeling of comfort he felt while being in bed with you.

“... okay,” he eventually relented, gingerly sitting up and bumping noses with you. “But kiss me first.”

“Huh?”

“Just… please.”

He sounded so tired and defeated. Wanting nothing more than to swallow up all his pain, you didn't hesitate again, wrapping your arms around his neck and bushing your lips over his.

Hyunjin kissed you back desperately, wrapping his arms around you and holding on to you. If he didn't, he felt he would fall apart, a stark contrast to the way he held you in your doorway. You didn't realize when his hand had slipped under his flanel until his nails raked over your back, raising goosebumps in their wake as his hands traveled between your bodies.

“Hyunjin,” you called, pulling from his lips. He didn't stop, his lips dropping to your neck the moment you pulled away. “Hyunjin,” you said again, attempting to sound more stern with little success. You were melting under his touch again.

“I just want to feel you against me,” he mumbled against your skin, unbuttoning the flannel and opening it just enough to expose you, but not take it off completely. He then pulled back, once again pulling off his tee before leaning back into you, his arms snaking around you under his shirt and his face buried in the crook of your neck.

You two stayed stationery in that position for a few moments, the only sound coming from your forgotten move. Not knowing what else to do for Hyunjin, at that moment, you slid your fingers into his hair and scratched gently at his skull. Only then did Hyunjin finally relax. He finally felt the same warmth, safety, and intimacy from earlier, making it easier for him to finally explain what happened.

You weren't the only one heartbroken that night. Hyunjin had gotten involved with an older woman. He was really having fun with her. He thought she actually cared about him. She made him feel like somebody. But right when he thought things were going great, that's when everything went wrong.

What was supposed to be a normal night together turned into him finding out she was married in the worst way possibly, with her husband catching them getting hot and heavy together and beating the shit out of Hyunjin for messing around with someone he shouldn't. The guy wouldn't even believe Hyunjin when he said he didn't know the woman was married.

Turns out this woman has a history of luring young, hot guys to her with tons of spoiling and praise, only to then have her way with them until her husband finds out and beats the shit out of the poor boy. Rinse and repeat, right up to Hyunjin. The latest in a line of victims.

Hyunjin managed to get away but never before had he felt so cheap and pathetic, this wasn't the first time a girl slept with him for her own gain but sometimes about this time just made him feel so… worthless. It brought tears to his eyes to admit this, and he clung to you tightly as he cried.

You've never known Hyunjin could cry so hard, and it broke your heart to learn that this happened to him, but you were also proud of him. He said he never intended on telling anyone and that he was just going to hold on to this until the day he died, but he didn't. He told you, he let it out, and even though it broke your heart to see him like this, you wanted him to always talk to someone, even if it wasn't you. You also promised that you would do whatever it took to make him comfortable enough to open up, that while you couldn't fix his problems, you could be his safe place.

“It's funny, but… this is what we're doing right now. It's what I need. This is my safe place,” Hyunjin admitted, his lips tickling your collar bone.

“The skin contact??” By now you and Hyunjin had made your way back to your bed, settling in under the covers, each of you wearing next to nothing so Hyunjin could feel as much of you against him as possible.

“Kinda, just… the intimacy of it all. If I could, I'd be buried inside you again. I want to be as close to you as I can. It makes me feel like I'm not worthless. It makes me feel wanted.”

“Having your dick in someone makes you feel wanted?” You teasingly asked with a giggle.

“No, baby,” Hyunjin replied with a laugh, lifting his head from your chest to fix you with a soft stare. “I only feel like this because it's you. The only girl I've shared years of my life and my darkest secrets. The only girl who trusts me so much she'd ask me to be her first and who loves me enough to sit in and listen to my problems the same night.” You were too stunned to speak, but you were sure Hyunjin could see just how red your face was. “You're my closest and most trusted friend, Y/N. I think sex and stuff like that will only feel this special, this safe and warm, with you.” It was also because Hyunjin was secretly in love with you too, but he decided to keep that part to himself, he wanted to enjoy this moment, this look on your face, for just a little while longer.

“I… I think so too, Hyun. It won't ever mean the same with anyone else,” you said, decidingly also refusing to admit the feelings you've been harboring for Hyunjin.

A sweet smile spread across Hyunjin's face, his eyes curving into crescents. You knew you were essentially digging your own grave, dooming yourself to what you assumed was going to be a mainly physical relationship, but you couldn't bring yourself to care. Not when Hyunjin looked so irresistible and said such endearments, snuggling against you and showering your skin with kisses, leading you two to get lost in each other again until you fell asleep in each other's arms, only for him to cling to you the all throughout the next morning. If you could just have more moments like this with him, it would all be worth it. Anything to be the safe space for the boy you were so desperately in love with.

○●☆♡☆●○

“So that's it, that's how you and Hyunjin became, well, you and Hyunjin. You were in love with him, and you were his security blanket.”

“I mean, kinda,” you replied, polishing off the last of your water bottle and opening another. “Sex with me, at least at the beginning, meant so much to him because I was someone who really cared about him. He never had to doubt if I was doing things with him for clout or for some sick kick. That gave him a sense of safety, and it gave him space to open up. And I was only too eager to please cause not only was I completely in love with him, but he did mean so much to me beyond that. He was a friend who put everything aside, even his own issues, to look out for me.”

“Which is why you feel bad you can't be as close to him as you used to be and why when he keeps things to himself, it bothers you so much.”

“Exactly.” Heaving a deep sigh, you rummaged through your pile of trash to hopefully find an unopened piece of candy. Meanwhile, Felix sat silently next to you, feeling sympathetic to your situation.

“I take it you and Changbin haven't talked about any of this?” Felix asked tentatively, making you pause your search.

“... No, I'm not even sure if it's worth bringing up,” you admitted, laying back against Felix's mattress and watching his ceiling fan turn. “It was such a big part of my life, but it's over now. I made my choice, and I chose myself. I'm finally with someone who's as much mine as I am theirs. I don't want to throw a wrench into things by telling him about something that ended before we even got together.”

“So you have no regrets then?”

“None. I'm happy with Changbin, even if I don't get to see him as often as I like.”

Just then, the sound of Chan's door opening and closing caught yours and Felix's attention. It was the first time you've heard any noise coming from him since you even got to the boys' shared apartment, and upon checking the time, you noticed that it was already 11 in the evening.

“Hey, how often do you get to see Bin?” Felix asked.

“Barely… I see him just slightly more often than I see my own roommate.”

“I hardly see my roommate anymore either,” Felix said, a deep sense of dread building in him. “How… How long has it been since you and Bin started dating?” You swallowed hard at his question, choosing instead to focus on the sound of Chan rustling through the kitchen before returning to his room. You knew where Felix was going with this.

“It's only been a little over a month.”

A tense silence settled between the two of you, neither one of you daring to say it. But you knew what he was thinking. You could feel the worry radiating off of Felix's slender body, seeping into your bones. You had essentially severed your deepest and longest lasting relationship to be with Changbin, and now, due to one stroke of chance you barely get to see him and can't even turn to the person from your second longest lasting relationship for aid.

What's going to happen to your freshly established relationship if this demand for 3racha keeps going? How will you survive not being able to see, not only your boyfriend, but one of your best friends who championed your budding connection to said boyfriend? Especially when the only deep connection you had left was someone you were desperately attempting to put space around?

These worries troubled you. Long after Felix's attempts to sedate them, long after you bid him good night and drove yourself home, and long after, you readied yourself inside your all too silent apartment and clambered into bed. You had been so happy for 3racha, so determined to support them, but now all that lingered over head was the fact that in one fleeting moment you realized you no longer had the steady foundation built by the three most precious people in your life.

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Well... this chapter certainly ended up taking on a life of its own, and as I mentioned in this post, it ended up coming to mean a bit more to me than the other chapters.

Anyway, I had intended on this to be a bonus chapter, but I thought it flowed better as part of the main story. I'm getting better at placing the back stories/flashbacks.

If you go back to the first couple of chapters, you can see I was formatting the story differently. I was struggling with the build-up of the story and then found my stride in later chapters. If I allow myself to be a bit delulu for a moment, if i ever get my E. L. James or Anna Todd moment, I'd definitely go back and re-write those beginning segments.

Taglist: @groovygroovyhyunjin @hhwangsmoon @luvyblossom @doggezz@kayleefriedchicken @hyunjinhoexxx

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