#sry for weird formatting

[wickedworm]

hey all! i know its been a minute but i was writing this little cringe ass blurb and havent finished it. i got some inspiration from the lovely @golden-gypsy after she sent me an ask nearly a year ago 😅 this has been living in my drafts for a while. im not sure if ill finish it unforunately. things have been weird and ive been going through my adhd cycle of interests where i dump the last one and move onto the next. anyway, enjoy whatever the hell this is.

December, 1994

Jerry

This is fucking pathetic. It's midnight, it's freezing, and I'm alone on the street, calling my wife on a payphone.

I stood out in the freezing Seattle cold, clutching a payphone as I called my wife. I wanted to laugh at myself for how pitiful it all seemed. I've barely talked to her - shit, I haven't even seen her since I went to Oklahoma. We talked on the phone but I never had much to say. And I didn't really know what to say. But I thought about her. I thought about her all the fucking time. And I would've actually talked to her, made that effort, had I felt worthy of it. I didn't deserve it. It wasn't fair to her. I needed to get my shit together.

When I came back to Washington, I tried to give Raven - and myself - plenty of time. I didn't want to go home right away, I wanted to try to get back into the swing of things. I set up some dates to write and rehearse with Sean and Mike. When that all fell through, I got pretty discouraged. I went from motel to motel, couch to couch, trying to write some of my own stuff. I was pretty much living in my car for that whole week. And I just wrote. A lot. I wrote about everything, but especially her. It felt like I would never stop.

And it hit me that I had freewill. I could just go to her. I could turn on the engine and drive home.

I was sitting in my car that night, trying to get at least a little sleep. But I couldn't stop thinking of Raven. I thought maybe I could get to sleep easier thinking of her. I imagined her next to me, leaning on my

shoulder and pointing at stars through the windshield. Tracing out constellations I've never heard of with her finger.

"Are you sure?" I asked, trying not to sound or feel like a begging dog.

"Just come home, Jer."

I'm not ready. I can't go back. I don't deserve her. I can't break her heart anymore.

Her voice, even over the crackling of the payphone, was soft and tired. But soothing. I could imagine her face, resembling her voice. There was moonlight shining through the window and over her face,

reflecting in her eyes. I pictured her holding the phone in one hand, and with her other hand she twirled and tangled the cord between her fingers.

"I just- I d-don't-" Fuck.

I leaned my head against the steering wheel, hoping the cold leather against my forehead would help me think straight.

I slammed the phone down. What the fuck is wrong with me? I can't even get a full sentence out and I'm completely sober. She wants me home. I don't know what to do. I went back to my car and threw

the door shut.

'Just come home, Jer.'

Her voice repeated in my head. Her soft, gentle voice. Just come home.

I sat back up. Ok, I'm going home.

Raven

I sat on the porch steps, waiting in the dark and cold for Jerry. I fidgeted with the frayed edge of the blanket I wrapped myself in, couldn't help but feel nervous. What would I see in front of me when he arrives? Would he look the same? Sound and feel the same? Or would he be completely different? It had only been a year since I'd seen him, but was that normal for a married couple? Maybe it was,

considering our circumstances. But I'd be lying if I said I didn't spend that year worried sick about him. And I'd definitely be lying if I said I didn't miss him. It tore me up to see him the way he was before

he left. And it tore me up to not see him at all.

Over the phone, he tried to make it sound like he didn't need help. If only he knew just how much I can see through his bullshit. I mean, he articulated his emotions very well, he wasn't afraid to show or

tell people how he felt. But in the past few years, there were times when he really shut down. Especially when Layne started to lose himself.

I blamed myself a lot for what happened. I thought if I kept myself calm and collected, Jerry maybe wouldn't have left the way he did. I remember I could physically feel my heart breaking when I watched

him storm out of the door. I know he wouldn't have done that had he not been under so much pressure. He couldn't take anymore of it.

I must have fallen asleep on the porch waiting for him. I jumped awake at the sound of him shutting his truck door. I immediately shivered, noticed it was snowing. Through the flakes, I looked up at Jerry. The fading porch light just barely made him visible.

I remember I called Sean a few hours after Jerry left the house and felt my stomach drop when he said he hadn't seen him. Then he called me the next morning saying he turned up at his apartment,

hungover and soaking wet from the rain. He put Jer on the phone, he told me he was sorry and he was going to leave for a while. Then he told me he loved me and hung up. He didn't let me get a word in.

I was relieved that he was ok. But I was scared, too. And even still, I wasn't sure what of.

"Have you been out here this whole time?" He took a few steps toward me.

His voice. It's him.

I jumped up to my feet and nearly tackled him to the ground. He lifted me up off the ground into his arms. I squeezed as hard as I could, needing to feel him to make sure he was real and that he was ok. I breathed in his scent, the usual old spice and tobacco.

"Come on." He held me close to him and carried me inside.

"I missed you," He whispered into my hair and hugged me tight. "I'm sorry for everything."

I don't know what came over me but I just couldn't let go. I felt a lump in my throat and I didn't bother holding it back, he couldn't see me cry anyway. Not with my face buried deep in his jacket. I could

barely breathe but I didn't care.

He set me down and I grabbed his face before I could even put my feet on the ground. I've been waiting for those words.

"What took you so long?" I could barely get it out, I choked through the words.

"I'm sorry."

I didn't want to go back to that.

I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry. He said it but why didn't it feel like enough? In the months before he left, I spent more nights alone in bed than I did with him next to me, where he was supposed to be. He

was somewhere else, doing God knows what at God knows where. There were days where I'd be worried sick about him, only for him to show up drunk later that night.

Jerry

"God, I missed you." She whispered, her voice just barely audible in the quiet of the house.

She didn't let go for a long time, and I just let her. She had to be freezing. I could feel the sting of her cold fingers against my neck as she held onto me. I shut the door behind us with my foot and felt the

warmth of the house envelop us. When I set her down, she pulled away and looked at me. I saw my wife for the first time in a year. And she looked the same. Did I think she'd be different?

"You ok?" Her voice was small, but I could sense her concern.

Her cheeks were red and cold. I didn't even realize I was touching her face until she leaned into my hand. Flecks of white snow dotted her dark curls and I wiped one away from her eyebrow. Even in the

cold winter, the freckles spread across her face were still prominent. Like a beam of sunlight always followed her. I just stared. I felt like a little kid, gawking at a beautiful girl.

I snapped out of whatever trance I was in, just enough to nod and reassure her.

"Ok." She mouthed.

Raven

I traced my fingers over his face, his stubble. I smiled to myself, realizing his goatee was gone. He knew I hated it.

"I like this." I told him while holding his jaw.

He chuckled. "Yeah. I know."

[plan-bliz]

she never thought to name it

08/17/2024

[powergayser]

i dont feel like uploading this to ao3 so here's a fic i wrote. wouldn't say this is my best writing, ive been burned out for months but im trying to write when i feel like it since i have bigger projects i want to put out.

for context, kyo is transgender.

new routines

kyo strode into the bathroom, in just a t-shirt, and lightly bumped iori’s hip with his own. the redhead rolled his eyes and stepped out of the way. 

while kyo brushed his teeth, iori continued his routine. toner onto a cotton pad, which he lightly dabbed across his face. next, serum. iori reached around kyo for the one he liked to use at night. using the dropper, he placed a few drops onto his face, and then gently rubbed it in. 

kyo had finished brushing his teeth and set his toothbrush aside. he then turned the sink on again, splashed water on his face, and scrubbed it as furiously as he could. iori stared at him in mild horror. after a few agonizing moments of this, kyo resurfaced and pressed his face into a towel. 

“at least use moisturizer,” iori pleaded. 

“nope,” was kyo’s response. iori sighed and squeezed some eye cream onto his index finger. before leaving, kyo wrapped his arms around iori and kissed his neck. the redhead jumped at the prickly sensation of kyo’s face against his smooth skin. 

“you have stubble,” he said, eyes wide. iori turned to get a better look. kyo grinned. 

“you noticed.”

“hard not to.” a pause. “you keeping it, or…?”

“mm… maybe. i don’t know how to shave. my dad probably won’t be willing to teach me, so…” he shrugged. 

“i could teach you.” iori offered without thinking. through the mirror, he saw kyo’s eyebrows shoot up.

“you don’t have to,” he said, “but i wouldn’t mind.” 

“i want to. tomorrow morning?”

kyo smiled and kissed his cheek. “sure. thank you.” and with that, he went into iori’s room and hopped into bed. once he finished his routine, iori followed. 

[aelyosos]

ocean, what's your favorite thing about sailing?

Ocean crooks a smile, as though just the mere mention of sailing brings him unbridled warmth in his chest.

“Th’ freedom ye feel, lad. S’nothin’ like bein’ on the sea.” His sharp green eyes almost seem to twinkle as he recalls.

“Th’ breeze in yer hair an’ the strong smell ‘f salt, th’ vastness ye can lose yerself in.” Ocean pauses for a moment. “…Used to ask m’self why I felt so different out there, why I couldn’t settle fer bein’ a landlubber.” He shakes his head, a hand reaching for his smokes.

“Fuck settlin’,” He says, putting a cigarillo to his lips. “Somethin’ calls out t’ ye, ye owe it to yerself t’ chase it.”

oc interview w ocean / 📫

[mcprincessdiaries-archive]

💧🌈✂️🕷️🙉🚆 bo bo bonana bonanza

💧 random angst headcanon

was 100% willing to die for the cause in shadowbringers. in fact he kind of wanted it to kill him & the fact it didnt is partly why he broke down later

🌈  what advice would they give to their younger self?

he would tell himself its perfectly ok not to follow the path his parents want him to take & he can in fact find happiness living a life that he wants, with people that accept him as he is. and the fun part is he kinda did get to do that, thanks to the oddities of a certain endwalker zone :)

✂️  what is the "last straw" for them to cut someone out of their life? how easily do they let go of people?

honestly its an astronomical feat to fuck up enough that he wants nothing to do with a person. like he can get mad and disagree and fight, but ultimately hes still pretty forgiving, or at least willing to put pettiness aside for a moment when needs be. i think the one and only exception is emet-selch, he's gonna hate the guy to the end of time lmao

🕷️ what is their biggest fear? do they have any irrational / mundane fears?

hes always been scared of letting people down, and that only gets compounded with the wol business and worrying about fucking up and causing the end of the world or whatever. hes also fairly squeamish and cant really handle when things get too gruesome, but obv his line of work has forced him to get better about it. on the mundane side hes scare of magitek. like he can tolerate being around it and using it if its simple enough but anything more involved he'd rather not

🙉 what is the worse thing your oc could hear from someone?

"im disappointed in you"

🚆 what is their answer to the trolley problem?

[doyl1st]

CSI Prompts // Still Accepting @poxsonmenace said: "you just made yourself useful."

"Oh, did I?"

The sarcasm with which Isaac speaks is as clear as a bell. Had this man been speaking to his endearingly desperate brother, his statement certainly would have been received more positively. To Isaac, though, the thinly veiled threat behind it is as laughable as it is evident.

“Cant say I really give a fuck, unfortunately. You’re of no use to me, and I’m not afraid of you. So really, I’m of no use to you.

[nomaishuttle]

new knock knock joke fresh from my baby brother:

knock knock (whos there)

the bananas (the bananas who) the bananas who jump on your head (?)

[carminekings]

"'cept y' like it when m' boutta clobber yer 'ead in." joe counters, face scrunching up with a daring. they quarrel and rebel and grin, remain two sides of the same goddamn coin. and maybe there's something to be argued about nostalgia and familiarity when they butt heads, bristle, challenge each other, bite — something necessary about the hurt being present. but the ache is unnervingly exclusive. the bruising joe experiences from nameless figures and their assumed criminality, is just an aspect of the hustle, a slice of bitter life. the joy comes belated, arrives only with successful picks and the press of ice cubes against purpling skin. but nate gives and takes and demands the pain and joe likes it as it happens — burns hotter because of it, redder and thirstier because of it. he finds himself dividing his preferences and interests more and more with nate's newfound presence, learning and relearning willingness and wanting and weathering. he is often weathering, often gritting his teeth and clenching his fists, assuming then that the bulk of his prior experiences mean disinterest and resentment. he should dislike accusation and smugness, he'd made the irritation evident years prior with margaret's shitty ex-husband — but still, he smirks when nate meets his bark with something of similar tone. nearly beams when nate chides him, huffs over their combative reactions.

joe doesn't even think himself particularly cocky (not in the way sully is) but he's grown to assume the sentiment mutual. it helps that nate's body leaps to attention, burrows comically quick against the heat of his ass as soon as their kisses bubble, boil into a forest fire. he too, wants everything ablaze.

"y' like it when m' mean to ya, don'tcha? — yer sweet like that — good at takin' blows, good at behavin'?" he feeds his thumb back into nate's mouth then, rests it against the pad of his tongue and presses down. with the prying weight, joe pairs this with a taunting roll of his hips. he plays it like something accidental, readjustment for lopsided balance, but the movement keeps him seated upon nate's lap — his blooming interest now trapped underneath. joe tilts his head then, blown eyes and a pleasant high marking his expression into one of potent arousal. "y' wanna be good again huh?"

maybe to an outsider's point of view, what they have is dysfunctional. but that's far from anything novel or new to nate. what he did know was this. he understood joe better than nate possibly understood himself. the impulse to crave pain instead of comfort, something bruising and punishing as a balm because tenderness feels like being condescended to. nate's so fucking angry all the time, tired, grieving something he never had and can't tell anyone about, to the point he's almost thankful joe never asks or tries to diagnose him with something. instead, there's just pervasive heat accompanied by an ache joe himself put there. "you like it sloppy, from what i remember," nate taunts, a delighted smirk only halted by the thumb that sweeps past the seam of his lips, looking down through hooded eyes. joe's been running through nate's mind, just as stubborn and present the way he is incorporeal form as he is in physicality, stuck like gum to the bottom of his shoe. he wraps his mouth entirely around the pad of joe's thumb, sucking playfully with a wanton look in his eyes before ejecting the digit from his mouth with a hum. "i think we've found the missing component in our little encounters, 'cause you seem less willing to clobber my head in violently and more willing to paw at me affectionately when we're passin' a joint between us. your eyes look fucking huge, too," nate tells him, a little fixated as he studies the the tiny ring of seafoam blue being swallowed up by the enormity of joe's pupils, like looking at moonlight being reflected off an ocean at night. he's had joe's cock in his mouth at this point, and this still may be the gayest revelation he's had yet. nate flusters visibly, more embarrassed now than when he was impishly sucking on joe's thumb as if paranoid joe's suddenly able to read his yearning thoughts through the aid of the THC. stranger things have happened.

[top-hat2]

hi!! i hear youre making gab oc art? 👀 i have a fellow named albrecht, he’s a very stern prussian cavalry officer!! i dont have many pics of him other than this one, hopefully its ok :) sry if this is formatted weirdly lol i’m not used to sending asks like this, but feel free to dm me if you have any questions or something!!

Here you go! (You're good, personally it doesn't look weird on my end. :]) Sorry that it's not the greatest and I probably forgot a couple things. Albrecht seems very cool and I would like to know about him more! 😊🙏 (Sorry for not doing him any justice btw 😔)

[ratwars]

Who do you think is the deepest character in diabolik lovers and whyyyyyy :3 (sorry if this is weird btw :,))

Tomà out here activating my dialovers derangement syndrome 🥲 ty ty ty also sry sry sry in advance 🙏💜

Minors dni with this post

This is not weird omg no one ever asks me about dialovers you need to understand I was into VNs including otome before I was into any anime (including bsd) and diabolik lovers is my longest term obsession that isn't music 💜🙏 This is mostly going to involve things from the games (because the anime was basically silly fanservice that barely scratches the surface for anyone) but I'll leave out drama cd stuff because I would actually need to go refresh myself on those.

Absolute novel under the cut sorry. also cw noncon, cw dubcon, cw abuse, cw csa, cw suicide, cw matricide

Anyone not familiar with the series who decides to continue pls be aware of these warnings and take care of yourself. Also pls understand everything I say is in terms of the series and setting. Absolutely nothing that happens in these games would make any of these characters redeemable irl. This is fiction and a trashfire Do-S fetish franchise. Trauma doesn't excuse abuse. I don't condone any of the bad behavior from this series irl. (Sorry since this isn't my sideblog I feel I need to explain this so ppl don't come at me thinking I'm excusing stuff for reals with this little analysis)

Also this is probably going to have spelling mistakes and horrific formatting because I wrote it on mobile so my bad on that too.

This was so hard to answer because so many of them have serious trauma, maladaptive coping mechanisms, and large amounts of growth throughout the various sequels. I think you could make the logical argument of depth for every single character. The Sakamaki triplets are def the most tragic of the first two games in this regard though (maybe only rivaled by the Tsukinami brothers once we get to Dark Fate because of the whole being the sole survivors of genocide thing)

But as a whole I think Carla and Shin deal with their predicaments in a more outwardly focused manner (which makes sense given their stories and roles as antagonists in their debut game) so I don't think I could objectively call them the deepest esp Carla even though he is my fave.

So out of the Sakamaki triplets I am going to go with Laito. Shocking I know because I have said before he is the one I am the most terrified of. But hear me out.

(I'm using HBD (haunted dark bridal) to refer to the first game, and MB (more blood) to refer to the second game going forward)

His first route in hdb is a stomach twisting mess of isolation, noncon, gaslighting and victim blaming. It is also the only route in that game where Yui tries to kill herself, which imo is really notable. Tbh the first time I played it I was so deeply uncomfortable I didn't really give his character a lot of thought. During replays and some of his drama cds though it def changed my perspective of him (in terms of the deepness of his character, not my dislike of him)

Here are my arguments in topical format because I don't really want to go through and do the research needed to refresh myself and make this chronological. Also if I am mistaken with anything I've paraphrased my bad it's because this isn't a real essay more of a rant that you might regret reading lol.

- Cordelia

We can't go into the rest of my arguments without the facts. He was groomed by his mother and experienced a childhood of CSA at her hands. And he is absolutely confused and suffering when he has his flashbacks. Yes he kills her with the other two triplets, but that didn't actually solve anything for him internally, and I think it is a pretty clear-cut argument that his negative traits and behaviors can be linked back to his unresolved trauma from this. He even says it himself too when he tries to project onto Yui and claim her hatred for him must be the same as his for Cordelia (though unnamed in his quote im pretty sure) that a hatred can run so deep that even killing the person won't relieve the burning. The other ironic part of this is that in the dialovers universe it is explained multiple times that the highest act of love for a vampire is murder. So. Every LI (Reiji, Laito, Ayato, Kanato) that committed matricide out of their hatred probably has some deeper more complex feelings going on than that. (You could also argue maybe a similar thing about Carla and patricide as well though he is Founder/First Blood not vampire. But he is more open about his reasoning and feelings around his parents and why he did what he did imo)

- His disdain of purity (plot twist. It's jealousy).

We repeatedly see him mock both Yui's purity and religiosity. He is arguably the worst out of all of the LIs when it comes to this topic, and hits this point right out the gate when he assaults her in the abandoned church. It is simultaneously a logical and also weird choice on his part to continue on with when you realize how unwavering her faith actually is, and if you do other routes before this one you are already coming in realizing no matter how much she "breaks", "changes", or "gives in" in other ways, she never actually abandons her faith completely even in future games when she is living quite literally in the demon world. Even in routes where she becomes a vampire she doesn't eschew God. However it is canon that she is a devout Catholic and that she originally wanted to be a nun (before the events of the game screw that up for her), so it is still relevant.

While it may have started as a way to try and break her down, it really becomes more and more clear through his routes that like a bunch of his other behaviors, he is projecting his own struggles onto Yui.

He is jealous of her purity, so he attacks it. He is jealous of her faith, so he attacks it. He is jealous of her unwavering belief in goodness and in humanity, so he just. keeps. attacking. it. Because seeing it exist in front of him hurts, but especially early on he isn't aware of his own emotions or why he acts the way he does. So many things in his routes and his monologues highlight the fact that Laito views himself as permanently dirtied by his past, and this behavior is tied to that.

- His inability to identify his feelings from his fake front and his use of sex to maladaptively deal with his trauma.

** I wrote way too much on this and decide nvm I think even if someone has only seen the anime his hypersexuality probably speaks for itself. Plus this is getting so long 😔**

-His lack of control in MB and "forced" behavior. His confusion over his own tears near the end of HDB.

There are various instances (esp in MB where his characterization is wildly different and desperate compared to HDB) where we see his mask start to crack, or realize that his mask wasn't actually very good to begin with and the exhaustion from the continous abuse in his routes has caused both Yui (and us as the reader) to fall for his bullshit more easily. He plays the part of a pervert, but Shu (who arguably is a massive pervert) calls him out in MB for being a phony. His behavior in MB makes him come across as desperate and out of control, as opposed to his calculated sadism in HDB. This all comes back to his inner turmoil, unresolved feelings, and trauma and we slowly unpeal those layers through the rest of the series.

I think at baseline it is really easy to dismiss Laito. I did from the beginning too. Plus he never stops calling Yui Bitch-chan no matter how many sequels he gets 🤦‍♂️ But that is just falling for his fake front, exactly what he wants you to do because then he can just keep carrying on without dealing with his bs and let off steam temporarily in the process. But under the surface there is a lot more going on. And he definitely is a character that has an insane amount of depth.

Sorry for the multi part novel. I don't even like him as an LI even in this series. But for a series with so many inconsistencies, retcons across games, and questionable writing choices, they did a good job with his character. I just need him to stay far away from both me and Yui 🥲 Imagine if you had asked me something that prompted me to talk about my faves 💀💀💀

[lightblueminecraftorchid]

HI THERE SRY IF THIS IS WEIRD BUT I SAW UR TAGS AND I LOVE TALKING ABOUT MINIDISCS SO—

they were kinda like floppy discs! you’re not supposed to take them out of their casing, tho you occasionally can get stuff in there and need to clean it out but that’s generally pretty rare. they were made by sony to compete with cassette tapes, but the timing was. not great and the players could cost a pretty penny so. they did actually do really well in japan though, just not the states!

they’re a purely audio format, and basically the draws were a) really good quality, like cd type quality, which is quite a step above the previous cassette tapes, b) they were more portable than cds, and c) at the time, you couldn’t really record cds all too easily. but minidiscs were always meant to be recordable, that was their whole thing. similar to cds, you can’t record on a pre-recorded minidisc (like one from a label company. if just like your brother recorded something on a disc you absolutely can re-record it), but unlike cds you will never find prerecorded minidiscs anywhere so it’s not really an issue lol

the recorders also use a thing called a magneto-optical drive, which is where a laser makes the disc REAL DANG HOT before the magnet writes the data in it, so you don’t have to worry about leaving your discs by magnets the way you might with cassettes!

at first you could only record through a recording line, so if you had a fifty minute album guess who couldn’t use their player for fifty minutes until it was done recording! later though some of the recorders had a thing called netmd, which lets you use files on your computer to record much quicker, without waiting for the whole thing to play out. the discs had a recording time of either 60, 74, or 80 minutes, tho you almost never see 60s around these days. if you wanted to record for longer tho, you could, it really just depends on whether or not you can play it lol. basically later on a bunch of the players were able to use a thing called long play, but some players can’t so your disc will be unreadable to them. but! the discs themselves are always able to record long play no matter when they were made, and you can pretty much endlessly re-record minidiscs without them wearing out. so if your hypothetical brother gives you his old minidiscs and he has crappy taste in music and you have a recorder that can’t play long play, no worries, just re-record them as regular discs and you’ll be good to go! there are two types of long play, lp2 and lp4, and any player that can play long play can play either. as u might guess they double or quadruple your discs recording time respectively, at the loss of some sound quality. it’s not terrible, but also discs aren’t super expensive so the only time i’ve ever really used lp4 is to record several podcast episodes on one disc.

they’re all very pretty like the one in the picture tho!! these are a few of my favorites that i own:

i wish i had a picture of my dad’s one with miffy on it because that one’s very cute too heh. i really like the ones where the disc itself is coloured too! the clear neige at the bottom is one of the most common ones you’ll find, especially if you buy them new you’ll get something similar to it. they don’t actually make the fun coloured ones anymore, :( but you can get boxes of used ones that generally come in all sorts of random fun colours! the players themselves are also pretty cool looking! pls ignore gollum’s reflection there haha!

they do not all look like that lol, but generally the players are nicer looking than the ones that can play and record. (the one in the picture up there can’t record, tho this one can. pretty much all the recorders look something similar to this. the ones that can only play look very neat though)

all the recorders have screens, most of the players don’t, but oftentimes they’ll have remotes that you plug into the player and then plug your headphones into the remote, and those often have screens on them.

when they were first released they could cost you up to like 800 dollars lol, nowadays depending on the player they’ll only set you back around 40 bucks. probably a good quality mp3 player might be more practical, but i like the fun clacky plastic discs lol. plus the recordings almost never get corrupted, which is a plus!

uh anyway i’m so sorry for the tiny essay!! i just really like minidiscs! :)

Op i am holding u by the hand. This is exactly what I wanted. Thank you so much!!!!!!

[aeronics]

thank u for the tag @fizzy-watches-dps :)) this is the first time ive been tagged in one of these sorry about the wack formatting it needs to look good to appease my little monkey pea brain top 5 books: lord of the flies, wuthering heights, cant think of any others rn

top 5 shows/movies: dead poets society, midsommar, little miss sunshine, the batman [2022] [are you seeing the paul dano theme yet], there will be blood, dont hug me im scared

fav movie genre: idk the weird slice of life ones that have no point like little miss sunshine or just psychological horror

top fandoms you're in: dead poets society, south park ig, some of the og lets play youtubers (markiplier, jse, etc.), life is strange 1+2, metal family

top fandoms you’d like to join: scp foundation stuff, the welcome home arg

top artists you listen to: abba, ghost, gorillaz, la dispute, crywank, wilbur soot's old music, msi [i dont support their actions at all]

top songs currently: to be alone with you - sufjan stevens, voulez-vous - abba, tous les mêmes - stromae

a song that describes you perfectly: iris - goo goo dolls

top music genres currently: [according to spotify stats] rock, pop, permanent wave, indie, modern rock

favourite music genre: oh god idk uhhhh id just say rock if i had to pick

love language you're most comfortable giving: acts of service

love language you like receiving: physical touch, quality time

favourite aesthetics: liminalcore?? grunge, gross boyish boy things idk how else to word that [maybe transmasc-core]

characters you kin: stephen meeks [dead poets society], kinda charlie dalton [dead poets society], ches [metal family], richard cameron [dead poets society, listen i have my reasons], red guy [dhmis], nathan prescott [lis], max caulfield [lis], dwayne hoover [little miss sunshine], todd anderson [dead poets society], scott tenorman [south park, idc he listens to radiohead too], michael/tall goth [south park]

fav colour and why: grey, nice n neutral and chill or red bc it looks good on everything

interests i would like to talk about: just random obscure facts i have collected [..whales sometimes explode when they die], also the dark web, also morbid history things, also dead poets society and how we were robbed of the deleted scenes, also the 4th dimension, also philosophy and politics

fav animal/s: raccoons, cats, basking sharks

favourite season: summer or winter i can never decide

favourite weather: sunny with a breeze or violent thunder and lightning

sixteen personalities type: intp-t

mtg colour quiz results: planeswalker of the jeskai way, a combination of blue, red, and white apparently

kinda not serious fears: baby birds opening their mouths to be fed [its fucking horrific]

random tags [sry if u have already been tagged!]: @elistudies @springlikesmile @taciturnpoet @pinkobsessedfreak @dpsthinker and anyone else who wants to

[mitsvriii]

TYSM WTF ☹️

@thexianzhoujade, @dumbificat, @soleillunne, @achy-boo, @ryuryuryuyurboat ,

@aventurne, @snobwaffles , @nervocat, @xianyoon, @ariicandy ,

@nyoomiin , @maopll , @toorurs, @ceneid, @thestarswhisper,

@yvkasha, @mei-sm, @iceunhie

Get attacked!! ✨🌈SEND THIS TO OTHER BLOGGERS YOU THINK ARE WONDERFUL. KEEP THE GAME GOING🌈✨

Aw, thank you!! 😭🫶🏼🫶🏼

@fleurfay @caityrayeraye @oliviartist y'all are awesome!✨🤍

[thebancrofts]

rules of engagement

ABOUT THE WRITER

you can call me elle! 25, she/they, returning to tumblr after a long hiatus

i ask that all of my partners be at least 21 years of age

please keep in mind that english is my second language!

ABOUT ACTIVITY

MST timezone

i'm a student, activity will be completely random sry!

please don't pressure me for replies i am small and i will cry

ABOUT THREADS

i use small gifs and text and would prefer my partners do too

sometimes i like to format for aesthetic purposes but i try to keep it from being too distracting

i will not write with characters under 18

i write a lot of smut but am selectively open to other things as well ... but please don't follow this blog then make me feel weird bc you're uncomfy with smut lmao

i try to keep replies under 2-3 paragraphs bc i don't have the attention span to keep up with anything longer

as of right now i am only interacting with female/femme presenting characters sry boys <3

ABOUT FCS

i don't have an official banned list but won't interact with:

FCs under 18

the deceased

anyone who has explicitly stated they don't wish to be used for RP purposes

alternatively, you can find FCs i am desperate to write with here and here!!

ETC.

be nice

don't send ooc hate to me or my partners i'm a big baby but i can fight

respect my pronouns pls

this blog is QTBIPOC friendly and if yours isn't don't bother following

[mccarthymolly]

intensity,ok,ww,eh,no, hk uh,ww,gone,wt, jloj uj,ww,h k k, yh, ho I k,ww, uh kj, hkj jk jij

Uh,perform, j,

Woody allen isnt lifeMovies | Watch Black Swan (2010) Online Free on fmovies.to

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Fish,fd, jk o,j,j,ww,,o,Hk jHi, i,ono, hk j, no u,Yh,h,o,jdk,hm,uh,ok,difficukts,ww,yh,uh,hm,ok,ww,not nec express,hm,dk,uh,yh,not clue,ww,yh,uh,ok,dam uh,ok hm uh,ww uh,dk,uh,ok,dam,no,ww,they suck n acnt tell,ho,k,ww,uh,ok,h ki uh sry,not hate thiugh,uh,ok,hm,uh,yhuh,ok,h,k,Putting in lesson plan format doesnt make lesson, u suck n trained to euck n eill defendFMovies | Watch Waking Life (2001) Online Free on fmovies.to

N,k,

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Vein

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Nervous bc dr,ok,hm,

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All areas? H,k,ok,ww,dk,uh,ok,

Fd n bdy,ww, hk j,,

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Do laughs or standing mk lf sworth. No

Netflix then references they make in talk, then lists to leave those circles ig

Keys v birds,jm,k,u,j,ok,

Sry to pit burden on u b i hv no ideas n am not doing dumb stuff to distract me

[jacqui-velazquez]

@nataliavega:

Natalia had not been raised to be open about her feelings. They were her problems and hers alone, and talking about them with other people only made her burden their burden. But she was bursting at the seams with so many things, and Jacqui's offer seemed so genuine. She sighed. "Do you ever wonder if you're not a good person? Like, do you..." She chewed on her bottom lip as she tried to find the right words, wondered if she even wanted to say them at all, "do you ever worry that you're actually selfish and terrible? Is that a universal experience? Because I keep circling this thought in the back of my mind that this was supposed to be so different. I thought college would be different. I've got this really big family and my parents are really religious. And, you know, we didn't have a lot of money or anything, not like the people here, so we didn't have the big house, we didn't got on vacations. It never felt like I had... space. Like physically or mentally, you know? I think I've done a pretty good job at pretending that I know what I'm doing most days, but I thought I'd find myself here. I thought this was supposed to be the time of my life. But it's been such a nightmare. And I'm... mad at Greer for it." The confession was quiet, shameful. "That's messed up, right? Who knows what happened to her. It's awful. And yet, I can't help but resent her. She's not even here and everything is just as much about her as it's always been. I just... wanna be seen, too." As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she regretted them. She wished she could take them all back, stuff all that god awful vulnerability back into the compartment she'd mistakenly released it from. Instead, she could only blink in quiet horror as she stared at the ceiling. "I'm so sorry. It was like I was watching myself outside my own body not shut up and I could do absolutely nothing about it."

@jacqui-velazquez:

Jacqui frowned, thinking over Nat's words for a few moments. She didn't think she was a bad person - though she often wondered about her motives in how she acted, Jacqui did everything possible to be kind to people. To make their way through their lives, at least where their lives would intersect with hers, at least a bit easier. To not add any undue difficulty. But everything else that Nat said....that they could all relate to. Alarmingly well. They glanced over towards Nat, one side of their lips lifted upwards, reaching out to rest a hand on her hand. "You don't need to apologize," Jacqui said gently, patting the back of Nat's hand twice before letting their arm drop back to their side. "I think it's...maybe not fair, but understandable to mad at Greer. Especially if she's....I don't know. Not missing but somewhere of her own free will. But you should never apologize for how you feel. If you don't like it, you still need to feel it. To let it out," they said, eyes growing distant as they spoke, somewhere deep inside their own thoughts - rather than watching themselves outside of their body, like Nat had said, Jacqui retreated further into their own. "And having space from your family.....isn't always a good thing," they offered, blinking back to attention, bestowing Nat with a gentle smile - they should know. They had plenty of space, especially in the later years of their childhood. "And I think everyone doubts what they're doing. But that doesn't fucking matter, Nat. You're like...alive. That's what you're doing. And that's plenty."