#squelsh

[squelsh]

You reblogged a post from an artist who makes content of NSFW stuffed animals, just letting you know in case you didn't realize

anon i assure you that i knew i was looking at the having sex with stuffed animals art blog

[bobisnotaperson]

hey can you pass the slop

eyeah ere u go

[squelsh]

most importantly most of these things have nothing to do with fatness.

i do eat so much.

i do have huge portions.

my food is full of fat and by god if i don't spot any in a recipe i'm adding a spoonful of bacon fat and a tablespoon of oil. i fucking love grease, i fucking love corn.

i am almost completely sedentary, with a passive lifestyle and a lot of sleeping. i have all of these things and still only weigh 105lbs (50kg). it sure is weird nobody criticizes me for these diet choices but a fat friend suddenly gets all the flak in the world for it? almost like it was never actually about "health" or eating habits in the first place

seriously though its so often fatphobia. like

"americans eat so much!" so??

"americans are so overweight!" who cares.

"american food portions are huge how can anyone eat that in one sitting!" we dont we have a leftover culture that was born out of poor immigrants trying to help feed each other. and so what if someone does eat it all in one sitting who cares.

"american food is so full of fat"

so?

"full of corn" yeah we have a lot of it

"full of grease" it tastes good

like you guys arent slick

[emperorsfoot]

I donno what Baldur's Gate is doing recently, but it was my favorite game on the PS2 for this exact reason.

Baldur's Gate 3 is like D&D but for introverts, and it's perfect.

[wazzappp]

Hey since I think Khaji Da can move its legs, what if it can still move them a little inside of Jaime’s body? Not much, bc its main body is anchored to his spine, and the tips of its legs are attached to… something or other, I suck at anatomy, but what if the mid section of its legs are capable of moving a little. Not much, but enough that Jaime can feel it, similar to the squelsh-y feeling of someone taking their two fingers and firmly pressing them straight on into the squishy flesh between the shoulder blades and dragging them down. It feels kinda like the muscle/tendon/fat/whatever there is squished between the bone, getting forced one way or another by the pressure. Like not painfully, it’s just a really really weird sensation. That’s what it feels like when the scarab shifts its legs, bc the muscle/tendons/whatever are rubbing against and being forced to move by the leg. Idk why it would want to move its legs, unless they can get stiff like human limbs, but anyway, I think that’d be some fun body horror.

And Jaime’s response, like a cat cheese test type response.

Oh my god yesssSSSSSSSSSS

In my back diagrams that I've shared before I had four of khajis legs with two attaching muscles/tendons each, and the two middle legs wrapping around the spine. One for the 'knucle' and one for the end of the leg itself (its baaaaaaaaackkk!!)

I did this specifically so it would be harder to remove Khaji but if they DID squirm. Oh god. It would be like the weirdest cramp ever.

These would be entirely synthetic nerves that are primarily connected to Khaji and NOT Jaime's nervous system. These are not necessarily his muscles, but Khaji's muscles (its all THEIR muscles of course but. you see the complication here. Jaime isn't used to reaching into Khaji da's mind and pulling, but Khaji was built just to do that.). It would be like a leg cramp that didn't hurt. The muscle is flexing entirely out of your control, you can TRY and force it to stop but theres no real guarantee.

I'm thinking now about a situation where Khaji gets nervous and just. Readjusts themselves with a little wiggle to wrap those middle legs a little tighter around Jaime's spine. 'MY host. You wont seperate us. Ever. Under any circumstances. Im firmly attatched and you cant get me out. Just try and we will reduce you to a fine red mist'

Its sort of sweet! In that kind of. Mildly Fucked Up posessive/aggressive/obsessive way that I'm a really big fan of lmao.

[cevans-is-classic]

18+ plus only.

I am not a Bad Omens fan (good music no doubt but not my vibe) BUT my best friend is and this is for them.

Enjoy, my guyliest of all dudes

@eddie-spagheddie

(btw ^^^ this is my soulmate. Otherwise, I would have no idea who these people are)

His hand touched your face, brushing over your cheekbones and lining your lip with his thumb. He watched your eyes, watched the tears at the corners and the red over your nose. You were beautiful, a masterpiece he doesn’t deserve. 

“My Little One.” He traced where his cock disappeared inside you, your lips stretched to fit him. His fingers touched the spit spilling outside of your mouth. It’s wet, warm, pooling around his cock. He can feel you swallow every few beats. It made his stomach tighten, his knees shake. 

“My darling,” You blinked, shoulders loose, hands curled around your thighs with nails digging into your skin, “Come here.” 

Noah slid his hand down your throat, catching your chin as you let go, and he pulled you up. Your lips leaving wet kisses to cover his ribs, his chest, the edge of his jaw. It burns him, sending aches deep into his bones where you rest inside him. The longing in your eyes was more than he could ever ask for, yet there it was. 

That full trust looking back at him. 

“Hello.” He smiles, shifting as you climb into his lap. You scoot closer until he shoves backwards and you’re able to wrap your legs around his thighs. 

“Hello.” The taste of him on your tongue takes his breath away. This echoing feeling that bleeds across his skin and buries itself deep. Your hands move over his chest, following the ink of tattoos over his ribs. The way you tilt your head drags him up as he grips your hair. 

Your fingers wrap around his cock. 

“My beautiful little one.” He licks the corner of your mouth and moves his hands around your neck. The pull of your throat beneath his palm jumped when his fingers tighten. 

The way your mouth opens to gulp for air is mesmerizing, beautiful, your eyes clouded over in a haze. You’re giving yourself to him, all of you, every piece that fits alongside his. He feels the stroke of your hand like it’s far away from his body, lost in the cosmos. He feels your pulse, your body, the heat of your breath on his lips. Noah feels you.

Then he feels all of you as sink down, down, down — the feeling an electric shock to his system. His limbs shake all over, watching you stretch around his cock — seeing the roll of your eyes. It’s like a drug. It gives him life.

“What did I do?” He touches your lips, follows the curve of them, lets your tongue lick the pad of his fingers, “To deserve you.” A smile curves your mouth, bringing the edges up where he rubs along the surrounding crinkle.

“Open.” You do, his fingers slipping inside as he flexes the hand around your neck. A groan vibrates his fingers and you jerk your hips over him.   

Noah looked down, eyes heavy, “Gorgeous.” You wanted to laugh, but he squeezes, one tight squeeze that makes you shiver. 

He hears the squelsh when he moves you over him. Slick. Wet. All for him. “No-” You moan around his fingers.

“Baby.” One push and he slides inside, feeling you wrap around him. Your nails dig into his shoulders, your throat clicking beneath his hand 

The push and pull drags you into a rhythm. He loves every inch of you, the taste sweat at your temples and feels you in the drop of your hips. 

Your eyes are open, hooded, looking back at as he fucks into you. Drool spills out around his fingers, soaking them, your tongue pressing against them. He can feel swallowed, remembering the way you’d choke around him. 

Every part of you is amazing. 

Addictive. 

Something he wants to lose himself inside of — getting drunk on your screams. 

You moan again, deep, groaning around him and all he wants to do is drive into you. He wants to watch your eyes roll into the back of your skull. 

“Fuck,” He pulls his fingers out, sliding them down your neck, “Being inside you, baby,” You gasp when he thumbs your nipple. Hitching your chin as he twists the nub and fucks into you. 

“Good.” It’s garbled, hoarse as you gasp out. 

Noah feels you clench, feels you drop onto his cock and drag yourself over his stomach. 

“Are you going to come?” He thrusts up, deep, pulling out enough to feel you drag him back in. 

“I would,” You grit your teeth as his hips slow, “If you’d move faster.” His hand leaves your chest. He pulls your knee up, slides closer to you and cages you in.

“Gladly.”

If you like my work come see if my other stuff interests you!

[squelsh]

Wolfram|Alpha brings expert-level knowledge and capabilities to the broadest possible range of people—spanning all professions and education levels.

[bobisnotaperson]

trick or

tr

you get: crystal creature

[corrupted-fae-king]

Fate.

Yes.

That's what it is.

Fate.

That's what it's always been.

Hasn't it?

Elder Faerie can't tell anymore, the pain coursing through his frail body as he sobs doesn't seem much like fate to him...

It seems more like a curse.

...But what's the difference between fate, and a curse?

"There isn't one."

The voice that greets the fae king is sudden, but familiar, as he looks up at the source in front of him, standing before the silver tree.

...The face he sees, is none other than his own.

A fragment of himself, torn off moments before he became Elder Faerie.

A fragment that was placed into the silver tree, to keep the beasts in check.

To keep him in check.

"...You..."

"Me."

Their voices are sour in equal turn, they can hardly hear themselves over the rushing of their own jam in their ears.

"YOU!"

The fae king's voice grows volatile, loud, angry.

"THIS IS YOUR FAULT!"

"...Is it, now?"

"IF YOU HAD NEVER- IF WE HAD NEVER-"

"We."

...The fragment was right.

This was their fault, both of them.

Moonflower stared down at Elder Faerie, his expression unwavering as he watched his own self claw at the dirt beneath his fingers, weep angrily at their circumstances.

"We caused this, we started this."

"We took that sword and we plunged it-"

Crash.

Moonflower, now on his back, wings spread out behind him, is pressed against the roots of the silver tree.

The fae king's sword is just barely short of a few inches away from the fragment's face.

"SHUT UP!"

"YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO SPEAK YOU-"

"Copy?"

Moonflower can't help but narrow his eyes as Elder Faerie goes quiet.

"...We're cowards."

"You're a coward."

He can see the change in his other half's eyes, the slitted pupils forming against teary irises.

He can see the anger rising.

The fragment can only watch, watch as the fae king pries his sword from the roots of the silver tree, and raises it up.

"...You want to speak of what we did to him?..."

"THEN I'LL DO EXACTLY WHAT WE DID TO HIM, TO YOU!"

There's a loud, harsh, squelsh, before a pained scream echoes through the empty kingdom.

Lodged into Moonflower's chest, Elder Faerie's sword, prism energy surging through the multicolored blade, spreading across the fragment's form with a sizzling sound.

Plip.

Plop.

The sound of jam, dripping from Elder Faerie's chest, a wound in the same place he stabbed this fragment of the past.

It hurts.

It hurts so much.

He can barely hear Moonflower's laughter over the ring of rushing jam in his ears...it's melancholic.

Bittersweet.

...How could it still laugh?

As it withered away?

As it's body crumbles, turning to life powder right beneath Elder Faerie's knees.

Life powder that rose, swirling around it's original owner in a dusty cascade.

It was almost a beautiful sight, to watch it wash over the faerie's wings as they spread apart behind him, the patterns on those beautiful butterfly wings changing.

Shifting.

Tears still stream from the fae king's face, hitting gently against the ground beneath him.

His eyes sting with a searing pain, but it's not because of the salty tears.

No.

The slitted pupils, still present in his eyes despite the calm that has washed over him, those are the cause.

The air was still.

Stiff.

As Elder Faerie rose to his trembling feet, bringing up a shaky hand to his face.

Was he really still Elder Faerie?

Was he Moonflower?

. . .

He didn't know.

He didn't want to know.

He didn't want to think that he still belonged to a name revered by so many.

"...Let the witches come."

He murmured, his voice quiet, tiny against the whirl of wind brushing through the kingdom, giving way to the storm brewing in the distant skies.

"Let them see where their creations have become."

His voice grows louder, angrier, as he pries his sword from the silver tree's roots once more.

"LET THEM SEE WHAT THEIR ACTIONS HAVE CAUSED!"

*Elder Faerie is available for asks.*

*Moonflower is no longer available for asks.*

[consumable-connie]

Might make a story out of this in the future, but what if there was a chaotic dream demon who became super obsessed with you, and from then on every time you go to sleep you have dreams (or nightmares) of the dream demon devouring you, and you try to wake up but you're way too deep in slumber, so you just have to listen to the gurgles and squelshes of the dream demon's stomach, their gentle heartbeat almost lulling you into a slumber if it wasn't for the fact you were already asleep. Maybe you'd learn to love it, but you don't want to give the demon the satisfaction of knowing you enjoy being their meal

[theelectricdreamsofddx]

@squelsh insisted this thing was a nail and after being told it was a screwdriver in the group chat for several minutes it sent this

[puhpandas]

Weak Heart and Weak Head

Gregory cant help the shudder that wracks his body when the thing grips his other arm and he can hear the squelsh of meat in-between its joints. "Wh..." It trails off, twitching and voice warbling. "Why would I hu-hurt my son?"

"Because he isn't your son."

Gregory twists his neck to look behind him at the same time the thing does, and he gasps.

Evan floats in the doorway, form shaking, but eyes hard and dark.

(Gregory meets Evans ghost during SB, and after a long night of bonding, Vanessa finally catches Gregory and brings him to The Mimic, whos mimicking Afton and thinks Gregory is his son, Evan. Evan saves him.)

other link:

[cherry-exec]

*really yucky squelshing and squishing noise as he forms back into himself* I'M BACK BITCHES

[thebreadwing]

So... I, uh, took a break to study for finals and um...

WHO WANTS TO READ A C!FUNDY & Q!SLIMECICLE BONDING CROSSOVER FIC?

:D

[slightlyaboveaverageiq]

A Black Rose Among Sunflowers (part 1)

A/N: Okay so a couple things 1. this story is dark, not dark!Reid but part mentions of CSA, childhood sexual abuse, alcohol addiction, PTSD from the CSA, abusive relationships, and domestic violence. The story while also have allusions to dark smutty books such as Haunting Adeline and other books ive read and those come with their own trigger warning so you may want to look at those before reading this. Also we don't kink shame anyone who likes these things CONSENSUALLY and who are above the age of 18. You do you baby boos, that being said minors DNI.

Word Count 2.2k

I bit my lip and gently pushed my key in the lock, it was late, later than I had originally told Casey i would be but with any luck he would have drank himself into oblivion and I would just be able to sneak in. The lights were all out and I breathed a sigh of relief as I pushed the door shut quietly behind me, freezing as the click of the lock seemed to echo through the apartment. I walked down the hallway and placed my keys on the counter not wanting to take the chance of the sound of metal hitting glass waking Casey up. I walked into the kitchen and rolled my eyes seeing the dirty dishes from what I presumed to be just enough dinner to keep him from throwing up like a sloppy drunk but not enough to take his buzz away. Checking the fridge I confirmed my suspicions that he didn't make enough for two, I would probably get some drunken rambling about “If you just cared about me as much as your slut stories we might have dinner together everyone once in a while.” Well maybe if I wasnt subjected to mediocre sex that lasted all of seven minutes with someone who didn't smell like a damn distillery I might not need to live in the world of make believe smutty daddies. I mean honestly who wants to just have their cervix poked awkwardly while their boyfriend completely misses their clit and then gets mad they didnt get off?

“You’re late Addie.” I stilled at the sound of his voice and the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. Casey had stayed up waiting for me several times and it always led to a confrontation, usually just ending in words being exchanged, maybe a broken glass or two thrown by either one of us, and a ‘whore’ followed by a ‘fuck you’ and me slamming the door and walking to Gabriella (my sister’s house) to sleep for the night. But this…no the energy was off tonight his voice was condescendly sweet and his hands trailed along the back of my neck but the pressure suggested this wasn’t out of concern. No, he was absolutely livid but yet he was calm as a priest and all of the alarm bells went off in my brain.

“I…I lost track of time. And when i saw how late it was i just thought-”

“Thought i would forget and be asleep? Thought Casey’s probably already passed out cold so i might as well just keep doing whatever the fuck I want? Even though I’m in a goddamn relationship and should be at home?” I shivered and moved to step around him but his hand closed around the back of my scalp tightly, my blue tinted hair being ripped out by the root. A sharp cry left my mouth and I instantly clapped a hand over my mouth but it was already too late. Casey had heard it and that meant so had potentially the neighbors, and Casey sure as hell wasn’t going back to jail. A harsh slap came across my cheek and I fell to the ground. I raised my head to look at him but all I got was a faceful of the bottom of his work boots before a sickening squelsh was heard as it made contact with my eye. I'm actually pretty sure the toe of his boot got stuck in my eye goop for a second. Gross. 

“One of us has to pay the rent, and we know damn well it’s not going to be you.” Why the hell did my adhd and my inability to filter my thoughts have to make its appearance right now? Apparently my brain just doesn't understand the idea of self preservation because instead of making a break for the door in Casey’s moment of stunned silence I just stood there staring him down like I’m 6’2” instead of 5’2”. I always joked with my sister Gabriella that men couldnt hurt me because of our father, that a 6 '1'' 200 something pound man beating the shit out of a 6 year old and me surviving meant i could square up with anyone. Like an older sister would be she was mortified and tried to get me to see reason. Mainly: No Adrienne just because you survived horrific child abuse does NOT mean you should go out seeking conflict with grown men just to prove yourself. Alas, my sister got all of the common sense and I got all of the anger issues which has led to my current predicament.

“The FUCK did you just say to me you stupid bitch?” Come on brain do something don’t just have me stand here like a fucking idiot. Casey reached for me but I dodged out of the way picking up one of the sausage pokers (is that what they're called? Whatever the prong looking kitchen utensil you shove inside meat to flip it over, I'd rather shove it up Casey’s meat though). He paused for a moment before he let out a hearty laugh and to be honest if this were a scene in a movie I would probably be laughing too, like what kind of dumb bitch picks up a sausage poker instead of KNIFE when they're in the middle of a domestic assault in their kitchen? “Come on little love, we both know you're not going to do anything with that. Put it down and be a good girl and suck my cock and I might not leave too many bruises' ' I felt my stomach twist at his words and was instantly thrown back to an eerily similar conversation with my father when I was 9. 9 year old little me who couldnt fight back when he would beat me black and blue with a belt, little 9 year old me that couldnt fight back as he savagely raped me because ‘this is how daddies show their love now be a good little girl and suck my cock’

“Fuck off Casey…just just get out.” He was walking closer to me and my blue eyes widened seeing that 1. His pupils were huge and 2. Casey had an erection. Ew, who the hell gets turned on being threatened to be stabbed is this like the backwards version of Haunting Adeline? Only it's not a gun going up a pussy, it's a sausage poker going..well anywhere i can get him really. He walked closer to me again and I swung the poked at him. “I said get out you cunt” His eyes narrowed and he lunged at me, I closed my eyes and moved the poker forward and twisted when i felt it come in contact with his skin. OH GOD I was twisting around the muscle inside Casey’s leg. I watched him fall to the ground and thankfully I gained a brain cell in the process and practically ripped my door off the hinges fleeing in the process. Not paying attention to where my legs were taking me just wanting to put as much distance between Casey and myself in case he magically became the hulk and ran after me. I sighed when I saw the 24/7 cafe Lilianna’s appear in my vision. I threw the door open and I'm sure I looked a sight because Lilliana dropped the latte she was pouring causing the customer to frown and turn to see what could have caused the beverage to be spilled.

“Adrienne-” I was about to brush her off but the man was already standing and held my chin in his hand forcing my chin up so he could look at my eye, or whatever was left of it and dear sweet jesus I’m pretty sure this man is what inspires the smutty authors because he is both delicious and terrifying. 

“What happened?” His voice was low and gravelly, obviously physically and judging by the cold calculatedness in his eyes probably emotionally exhausted. His hazel eyes stared into mine, at least they looked hazel blood pouring out of your eye really fucks up you vision. Some kind of badge and gun situated on his right hip, ah law enforcement then, no wonder he jumped up so quickly. For a moment I thought about lying but something about his face suggested it would be a bad idea.

“Dr. Reid if I may…Casey Thomas is a nasty piece of work, that's her boyfriend.” Lilliana’s voice was soft but also strangled, poor woman I was going to have to buy multiple coffees for the rest of my life to make up for the trauma I'm sure I just caused her to witness. His eyebrows raised in a silent question and I nodded my head because apparently shock is you know a thing and I’m fairly certain I'm slipping into it now that the adrenaline has worn off. 

“Let’s go.” In hindsight I probably should have fought harder to stay with Lilliana because even though this cop has the credentials of a man he's still..well a man and I'm definitely at a disadvantage with my blooded eye and my now bleeding scalp. Should’ve taken the poker with me, I read somewhere if you take impaled objects out, well damn i probably kept the fucker alive keeping it in there. I couldn't help the chuckle that came out of my mouth and Dr. Reid looked down at me worriedly.

“Don’t worry doc im not delirious from blood loss, I was just thinking about how I kept the sausage poker shoved in Casey’s thigh and so I’m probably the only reason that fucker didnt bleed out.” I really probably should've just kept my mouth shut because I don't know how close to a confession that could be to attempted murder and I just admitted that to a cop. A pretty cop but a cop nonetheless. I gave him directions to my apartment and he walked up the stairs, gun drawn, I'm sure he was prepared for a lethal Casey, and to be honest so was I. I waited in the car for him and 15 minutes later he reappeared talking to someone on the phone.

“I’m with her now Em. I'll let you know when I know more. …Yeah her apartment is like two down from mine so you know the address. …Alright see you soon.” He disconnected the call and a tired sigh came out of his mouth before he ran his hands through his unruly hair. “My name is Spencer Reid, I work for the BAU. That was my boss Emily, they're coming to check out your apartment. Casey wasn't there.” I felt a shiver wrack through my body out of fear or just exhaustion I don't know. “I’ll need to take your statement about what happened tonight, but let’s get you cleaned up first.” I nodded and he opened the car door for me and started leading me up the stairs just as black SUVs with flashing blue and red lights appeared in the parking lot.

“Reid!” We both turned around at the voice and a dark brunette woman in a power suit got out of the driver's side and walked over, her hard expression faltering slightly when she saw my bloodied face but it was quickly replaced by a cold, stoic expression. So this must be Emily, definitely a bombshell powerhouse, good for her, fuck the patriarchy and all that jazz.

“This is Adreinne-”

“I’m Adrienne Wilson, even though I guess I resemble something out of a horror film right now. My uh…my boyfriend was drunk and angry that I got back so late, he was waiting for me and I'm sure his boot is now covered in my eye juice. Should've shoved the poker up his sausage but I really didn't want to see that…oh shit can I go to jail for that?” Emily and Spencer both looked at me with a mixture of concern and amusement in their eyes.

“I didn't hear anything. Spencer said he would look you over while we collect evidence from your apartment. Would you like a female member of our team to go with you?” Yes probably should have been the logical answer but I found myself squeezing his hand tighter and slightly hiding behind his larger frame. Emily looked from me, to Spencer, back to me. “Understandable, Reid, bring her back to the office once you get her cleaned up.” He nodded and with a gentle yet firm hand on my lower back he led me to his apartment. I smiled seeing all the books cluttering the area. He disappeared into the bathroom and reappeared with both a soapy cloth and just a warm wet one. He gently cleaned the blood off my face and frowned when he saw my eye.

“You’ll definitely have a black eye but i don't feel any broken bones, can you see how many fingers i’m holding up?” I nodded and answered “Any cloudiness, black spots, halos, or double vision?” I shook my head no.

“Do you think I could…I could take a shower?” I didn't even recognize my own voice. It sounded so small and scared. 

“Your apartment will be unavailable at least until tomorrow…you could use my shower if you wanted though.” I nodded and followed him down the hallway. He showed me the bathroom and gave me a fluffy towel along with a t- shirt and sweatpants before closing the door quietly leaving me alone with just my thoughts.

[squelsh]

we should put cats on human estrogens to see what happens. like, okay i think we have the same primarye estrogens (estradiol 17b?) and i only really take estradiol and consider myself done with it so maybe like, our estrone is different to cats and we should give them that so it's actually human unique for them? is our estriol unique? 1.5mg estriol daily. okay i'm still not over the fact that actually we probably have almost identical estrogens to felidaes. fucking, 4-OHE2? do they have that? probably. okay 0.5mg estradiol twice daily and we check to see that they're okay. and then we can get the go-ahead to put the cat-unique estrogens in people. fuck wait don't most domestic cats not even produce estrogens in any meaningful amount after being spayed? the cat hrt surely can't just mean menopause, right. i'm asking for 6 billion dollars