#squeezing water on my hand and going right ! you stay in the drum a while

[mishkakagehishka]

Local girl absolutely shocked that her freshly laundered laundry would be wet

[metranart]

He sighed, and kissed the crown of your hair. “You really need to stop overreacting each time I touch you, baby bird.” You tried to pry his hands away, but he was just so much stronger than you. “Then stop fucking touching me without my permission, Keigo!”

ft. Hawks centered, Hawks x reader, Slight! Bakugo x reader, Slight! Dabi x reader.

Hawks x UA Student! Reader (Part 7)

- Warning tag: obsessed! Hawks, possessive! Hawks, naive! student reader, violation of trust, dubious consent, mating cycles, rut response, obsessive behavior, uncontrollable thirst for reader, manipulation, forced, thigh riding, hormonal minds out of control, sexual content, first time, cock riding, teenage fuck, Dabi's toxically interested in you, Bakugo bestie yet secretly inlove wit you, love confessions, cock-drunk, Hawks trying to be good but failing miserably, gaslighting, HEAVY plot, lots of smut. -

You could hear the water running, splash! splash! repeatedly, your body felt much better than when you had fallen asleep, you felt rested, relaxed, all your muscles had loosened... and that clear drumming against your back, very calm and rhythmic, it felt delicious, hypnotic. You didn't want to wake up, and suddenly you relax even more, God! Your whole body trembled violently with pleasure that invaded every pore, it was delirious, and you loved it. A soft moan came out of your half-open lips, like music to the ears of your companion.

“That´s it, baby bird, this is how things should be always.” A different kind of chills flooded your arms at the sound of Keigo’s voice so close to the shell of your ear. “My little girl fits so nicely inside her mate´s arms.” His contented sigh brushed the skin on your bare shoulder, and it was only when his warm, wet lips landed on the exposed skin that you forced your eyes to open.

“—W-what?!....” you breathed awake, the steam from the hot tub flooding your nostrils and filling your lungs with aromas of vanilla and lavender. “Where-where...... why am I wet?” water raised barely covering your naked breasts, your heart almost beat out of your goddamn chest when a strong set of arms squeezed you tight against another equally solid chest.

“Don´t stress yourself, baby bird, I barely managed to make you cu-” Keigo cut himself midsentence, purposely halting his speech at once, knowing that the truth will only anger you. He was trying to be a good boy, even now, with you trashing and forcing him to grip you hard to ground you firmly against him, he was still trying. 

“Stop-” he said calmly, pinning your flapping arms down with one thick forearm, “cut it out, I'm not going to hurt you,” his tone sounded considerably calmer as if trying to convey that feeling to you, even so, you shook your head and peeked up from around his thick neck. “What’s going on? Why are we soaking together?!” You stressed out.

“Not soaking, I'm helping you bathe,” Keigo said as serious as he could. “You desperately needed to relax or it´ll hurt—” suddenly halted his speech again and this time you could glimpse worry shine on his orbs, “you are a stubborn one, but I finally managed to-…... play the right notes.” He intoned, lowly. “Next one will go smoother—”

“—Next what?!”

You stayed there, in stunned silence waiting for him to fill the gaps. If you were understanding correctly, he had undressed you one more time without your permission, and then got into the bathtub with you to help you wash while you were unconscious and somehow hoped you wouldn't go into hysterics.

“KEIGO! Answer me.” You blasted, but the only thing the winged man could concentrate on was the way his name rolled off your tongue, SO fucking devastating, so addictive. Maybe he´ll stay quiet more often to force you to call for him again. 

“Hawks! Dammit!”

Well, his silence didn’t sew fruits. He sighed, and kissing the crown of your hair, said, burdensomely. “You really need to stop overreacting each time I touch you, baby bird.” You tried to pry his hands away, but he was just so much stronger than you. 

“Then stop fucking touching me without my permission, asshole!”

Keigo silently embraced you, stubbornly holding stoic and steady for you, tilting his head so you could calm your breathing into the crook of his neck.  It was warm and soft and damp with soapy water. You breathe him in, out of your control and clutch him tight with your palm and feeling your heartbeat gradually start to slow down, you manage to ask again more calmly.

“What will go smoother next time, Haw-...Keigo?” You force yourself to say his name, just to feel his heartbeat race against your back.

“Cum—” he said shyly through half-lidded eyes, “cumming has calming properties, especially for you-” he said quietly after a moment. “It’ll help more than the bath itself. I promise.”

He waited like a statue for your reply, frozen in anticipation and fright, but it never came. Slowly peeking down, found you staring intently at him, unmoving.

“I’m—I’m sorry,” he eventually gasped when you still didn’t say anything. “You were not supposed to notice, you were only supposed to wake up happier and more relaxed...” he continued, “actually…. well, you can tell-...feel that your body is healed,” Hawks released your arms from his grasp to demurely run his hands along your sides, “I was able to deduce your Quirk, baby bird, and I think I found a way to use it that you didn’t know about—" 

The emotion in his voice was palpable, and it was only when you felt his large hand slide between your folds that you came out of shock.

“W-Wait! What do you think you are doing-…?” 

Your hand held his trying to stop him but despite your efforts his fingers continued to caress you, expertly massaging your clit.  His thumb seemed to have a mind of its own, circling over your bundle of nerves at just the right speed, precise pressure, exact movements.  

“No—…Please-eee!”  you wailed, and in no time that broken wail turned into sultry moans.  

The bastard was playing the right notes by heart, you were so close, your body began to contort, hands scratching at his neck while searching for support. His lips glued to your ear, praising you, devotedly.  

“Go on, let it happen, baby bird, let me make you cum on my fingers —… GOD! You look so sexy like this…. writhing around in the water on top of my body while you let me masturbate you…. I ask for nothing more in this life, just that you allow me to be this close forever~” kisses bathed your ear and the side of your head, until the intense orgasm he was slowly building exploded and with it your sanity.

A loud moan erupted from your throat like explosive lava from a volcano, and Hawks kept going, helping you ride the waves of pleasure, his breath ragged as he watched your hip lazily follow the movement of his fingers.  Your body already recognized it as its owner, why not you?  He hated that, but he loved how easy he could play you.  

Finally, your body stopped moving, and sprawled on top of his front. Your breathing slowly became harmonious again, sleepy eyes, hot water, Hawks hugging you against him enviously, his arms circling your waist and your head resting on his shoulder.  

“I told you, I already know how to turn on your quirk…” you did an effort to glance up at him, question shinning in your orbs and he hurried to explain, “—the orgasm is an emergency button for you, it tells your body to release the energy and heal you-even if you are knocked out or weak, you’re as good as new, my sweet girl,” his words caressed your brain, “you are more than ready to return the favor to your lovely and devoted mate, who took so much trouble to find out the right cords—don’t you agree?”

“Return-return the… favor?” you mumbled, still disoriented. 

“Yep.” He clicked his tongue, and you felt his length split your thighs apart, smearing against your swollen folds. “If you are going to have my chicks, we need to keep this womb properly fed.” Keigo explained happily, his index finger tracing your bellybutton under the water, the tip of his cock bumping your entrance insistently. “Just relax for me, I’ll do the rest—”

You knew you couldn’t stop him, so you thought fast, and even though you didn’t want to… If this would help you avoid being raped again, it was worth a try.  

Closing your thighs, you caught his erection in between the hot, wet skin, and started a clumsy swing with your hips, massaging his hard cock between the supple flesh, your fingers caressing the tip each time it peeked out. You knew your moves were awkward to say the least, but your effort seemed to be greatly appreciated by the Pro hero who moaned hoarsely.

“My, my, you’re so naughty~…I ADORE you so much! Yes! You are my beginning and my end, the moon to my stars.... I am so happy to have found you, my baby bird- I will protect you from everything, from everyone... for as long as I am breathing........” his embrace was so possessive that your body seemed buried in his, you could feel every tense and swollen muscle, the thickness of his strong thighs, the power of his powerful arms... he seemed to be made of polished steel and coated in cotton candy and neediness.

“I want to cum inside—…. yeah? My mate doesn’t mind, does she?” He asked, bluntly breaching your pussy just a tad while waiting for an encouragement that will never come. You needed to distract him more, and before he could adjust the position of his hips, you kissed him. 

The very act captivated him. You had not kissed him like this before, even your first kiss was merely a tangle of tongues -nothing too passionate- but this… this was what internally craved. He always stole your lips, but you had never done it so intentionally and that mesmerized him, making him a slave to your desires. 

His lips danced to a soft and tender rhythm, Keigo letting you guide, your thighs masturbating him while your lips did the rest. His heart was pounding so hard it was easy to mistake it for the sound emanating from the door.

Knock. Knock. Knock. 

This time you did hear it, and your heart almost missed a beat when next you heard your mother's sweet voice on the other side.

“Sweetie is that you?” she asked, carefully. 

Your mouth left Keigo’s who chased your lips stubbornly, and hearing your mother calling again halted his attack to snort under his breath, followed by a chuckle, as he playfully repeated.  “Sweetie, how cute~” 

Your palm slapped over his mouth to shut him up, and your gazes collided, his playful, yours irritated, this day couldn’t get any worse.  “Yes-Yes, mom, it’s me-e”

“Oh! Good, I’m so glad you are here—but why are you showering?” you could easily distinguish the wariness in your mother’s voice. 

“Eh-h.... UA’s dorm bathroom is out of order-…” you felt Keigo moving under you, the interruption had stopped all your ministrations, and his urgency was growing, “-so I came here-e... so I could take a bath and…” big hands cupped your breast, forcing you to swallow a loud moan, “and… besides-s, I already wanted to visit you~” you managed to stop one of his hands while your other was stuck on top of his mouth, you could feel his lips curling under it. “I took this chance. I hope it’s not a bother.”  You barely managed to finish the sentence, your hips going back to work in pump Keigo’s fat erection to keep him steady, and in control. That deaf grumble coming out of his chest told you it was working. 

"Of course not, Sweetie, we love that you're here," God!  Your mom sounded so happy and innocent that you really felt bad about the wicked acts you were participating in. 

"I'm going to start making dinner, tell me what would you like me to make? Yakisoba? Curry rice? Or maybe, Miso Chicken?” 

Keigo bite at your fingers lightly and surprise made you withdraw your hand, and without hesitation, his lips pressed against your ear.  “I want Miso chicken, it’s my favorite~” Keigo whispered, encouraged and your eyebrows knitted together in concern, and for some unknown reason for you, felt the need to air a sudden doubt, “—do you eat chicken?” 

The winged hero smiled brightly-even his eyes did, and you felt your heart miss a beat, your daze quickly cut by his answer. 

“It’s my favoriteeeeee~” he sing-sang, and your hand struggled to shut him up. Keigo was faster and was no doubt, enjoying every second of it.  “Come on, tell my mother-in-law to prepare that, or if you want, I’ll tell her—” your hand finally managed to muffle him, even so, he kept chuckling under it.

“Miso Chicken! I love when you make it.” You hurried to say, and your mom cutely giggle from the other side, “Then Miso it is-….do you fancy some special dessert?” Oh god!  You really loved how doting your mom was but right now, it was the last thing you needed. “Maybe you want Daifuki, cake, dango, yokan, cookies—" 

“A-Anything is fine, t-thank you.”  

The words came out tight thanks to Keigo licking the fingers covering his mouth, and in a swift motion hauled your hand up, letting your hand tangle among his wet mane to have sinful access to lasciviously devour your neck, taking his time to do things at his pace. Managing that his erection throbbed against your folds producing a deliriously pleasant rubbing, while his hands massaged the parts of your body he could reach, from your perked nipples to the side of your legs, taking him as far as to pull your calves and squeeze them between his fingers. His mouth focused on your neck, and his hips making a rhythmical swing that was taking both, hand in hand, towards a devastating orgasm. You felt already so sensitive, it was taking a toll on you to stay coherent.

“—Sweetie I was wondering…” 

“Mom!” you squeak louder than intended, “I’ll be out in a—”

But you couldn’t finish the sentence since you felt Keigo´s teeth dig into the muscle that connects your neck with your shoulder, followed by a low and menacing growl.

“Don’t talk back to your mother, baby bird…” He scolded lowly, all playfulness forgotten, “…If you insist on misbehaving, I will have to punish you.” The firmness with which he glared at you spoke of how serious he was being, and gulping hard, you sweetened your next reply. 

“Mommy, I’m almost done, as soon as I get out, I’ll go help you with dinner.”  

Keigo nodded, approvingly. A big enough smile twisting his lips and making him look immensely proud. He kissed the place where his teeth mark was shaping in your delicate skin and rewarded you further by holding gentler. “That’s my sweet and obedient mate.” He praised only for your ears, very pleased, pumping his thickness harder, this time it was you who had to bite down a groan. 

“Ok, sweetie, there’s no need, you take as long as you need, enjoy your bathe.” 

You no longer responded to this as your lip was trapped between your teeth, and you reduced yourself to listening to your mother walking downstairs. Once you heard that there was no one around, you let out the thick and glorious moan. Keigo chuckled, you were responding him very well, he was already close, just like you. 

“Cross your legs, baby bird- you´ll see how good it feels... go on, love- do it.” Keigo requested and you obeyed, the friction became undeniably more precise, his cock caressing your clit with each thrust, your eyes rolled back, and you felt a sharper brush of pleasure flood your body. Trembling on top of Keigo’s thighs he continued to ride you.

You felt something warm fall on your chest, and the rest splash into the water. Keigo moaned hoarsely against your hair, his breathing ragged and his heart racing as he came undone. Once both finished, your bodies relaxed, engrossed in each other, as you enjoyed the hot water and muscle relaxation.  

“Fuck, baby bird, your mom’s interruption turned me on more than it should have, I came a lot.”  Keigo said this while his fingers smeared the semen that had fallen on your chest, like a cream over your wet tits.  “I really like the way you look right now, give me a moment and I think I can go balls deep inside you, you know.... finish you off, properly.”

Keigo laughed a little, too pleased with how everything was developing. You on the other hand were on high alert, yet again.

He had just come, perhaps that wasn’t enough to calm him down, you didn’t want to have him inside you, not again, not ever.  Dammit!  If only there was a way to turn off his rut ​​instinct.  

BRING. ME. BACK.  

Your eyes widened at the blurry memory, Hawks had been with you before all this, Hawks had kissed you in a certain way and said these exact words.

Ignoring Keigo’s intrepid hands manipulating your body, the strong hero flipped you over until you were straddling his erect member, geez!  How could he be erect again?!  

“Calm down, I’ll take it from here-...”  His thick cock bumped against your swollen folds, bullying the entrance, your eyes squinted doing your best to remember the way Hawks teach you to bring him back.

“Here we go, smooth and easy, baby bird, don’t hold back—your mommy won’t hear us, I promise.”  The tip was already inside, but your effort paid off and you soon pulled Keigo’s face towards you. 

The Pro Hero let you, hanging his head stifling his short, outburst of arousal. And soon found that was being pulled down, hauled into the crook of your neck until his face was in front of yours and without saying a single word. 

You kissed him. Peppered the tip of his nose, next his left cheek, to follow with the right and finally the forehead. Sweet and chaste kisses that plunged him into a buried memory of his past, digging up Hawks from his hormonal brain.

You pulled away from his crotch, and not knowing if had worked, used your hand to try and finish him off before he could react sexually aggressive once more.

You pumped his shaft shyly through half-lidded eyes and growing bolder, worked him harder. You don’t know why, but it felt different this time… this time you had control over HIM, and it felt delicious, erotic, forbidden…to hold all power, all control of the Pro Hero number two inside your delicate grip.

You watched his mouth fall open, golden brows furrowing, heart hammering at a worrying pace, saw all the muscles on his body tense against you before the Hero number two spilled himself among your fevered fingers with a sharp gasp, chest heavily heaving. He shuddered with aftershocks, eyes closed, forehead glistening with beads of sweat and soapy water. 

Keigo must have been near the edge, super sensitive already, because it didn’t take you long to make him come. The semen floated through the water among the bubbles and suddenly you heard the voice you were looking forward to.

“Fuck, I´m SO sorry, kid.”

“Hawks...?” you murmured, not knowing who would answer… the Hero or the horny animal.

“It´s ME... and I'm not going away again, you are safe.” Hawks said, running his knuckles soothingly down the line of your jaw. “—I did all this?” 

His gaze followed the semen that floated in the water, golden orbs falling on your fingers smeared with his pearly essence, and without waiting for an answer, he submerged your hand in the water, cleaning each digit profusely among his strong fingers. 

“The commission is going to be pissed.” He said to himself, attention fixed on cleaning the remains of his semen from you. 

Feeling his back against the porcelain of the tub, Hawks realized something. "Where are my feathers?" he asked, a hint of alarm in his tone and you just shook your head, unable to answer.

"Fuck..." he muttered, a crooked embarrassed grin twisting his lips before finish. "I think we might have a problem."

COMING SOON PART 8....

⭕️ In this PATREON LINK you will find NSFW art of this story and more spicy MHA NSFW art and exclusive smut fanfiction (also JJK, Demon slayer, and Tokyo Revengers) .... Plus more fascinating rewards, check it out and if you got some extra bucks around, join our community. My eternal and vast gratitude for your support!!!

@wtvbabes @dreamlessnight @naomi1247e

[ravencoloredroses]

Left Alone

Nyx x Reader

Summary: While the Inner Circle goes for a night out at Rita’s, Nyx and Y/N stay back home. 

Warnings: none :) (let me know if I missed anything)

Word Count: 990

A/N: I hope you like my first ever post! I don’t really see a lot of Nyx x reader fics on here so I figured this would be a good first for me! It's kinda short because I'm just testing the waters lmao. Please let me know what you think! <3 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

“How many times do you want me to say I’m sorry?” I cry out in between giggles as Nyx climbs on top of me.

“Hhm, probably at least three more.” Nyx laughs as he continues tickling me. “Maybe after that I’ll think about accepting your apology.” He tries his best to hide that beautiful smile.

I squeeze my eyes shut causing a few tears to drip down my cheeks. “Okay, okay! I promise it won’t happen again-” 

Nyx kisses away my tears. “You’re damn right it won’t, or else.”

“Or else what?” Nyx and I both whip our heads to the stairs to see his dad and the rest of the Inner Circle staring fondly at us. 

“Uh oh Rhys, looks like we walked in on something.” Cassian sends me a wink while Nyx sits us up on the couch. 

“Why aren’t you guys ready to leave yet?” Mor asks with hurt in her eyes. They are going out to Rita’s for the night and the plan was for us to join them, but-

“Because they’re not going,” Nesta says, strolling past everyone towards the front door. 

“I’m sorry Aunt Mor, but Y/N isn’t feeling well and I need to stay back with them” Nyx looks over at me pleading for me to back him up.

“*cough* *cough* Yeah, I don’t feel so good. Sorry guys.” 

“I don’t know what you guys are up to, but I know I don’t like it.” Rhys says with a smirk. He walks over and puts an arm around Feyre. “We’ll only be gone for a couple of hours. Please for the love of the mother, stay here and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do-” 

“Woah, don’t give them any ideas” Cassian cuts him off. “Just be sure to use protection. Oh and Y/N, I don’t know if Nyx showed you, but if you scratch right about here on his wing it-”

“OKAY, thank you for that Cas” Azriel butts in before Cassian can finish his demonstration. “But seriously, if you want me to leave a shadow here, I’ll be more than happy to”

“That’s okay uncle Az.” Nyx says as he scoops me up into his lap. “I think we’ll be okay.” After a nod from Rhys and one more wink from Cassian, they finally walk out the door.

“Do I still have to pretend to be sick?” I laugh, looking over at Nyx as soon as the door closes. He shakes his head and smiles at me for a few seconds before he's pushing me off to the side so he can get up. I watch him go up the stairs and disappear down the hallway into his bedroom. A minute later he reappears with a book in his hand.

“How about we read together? I was just about to start this one. Do you want me to read or do you?” He grabs my favorite pillow as he walks back over to the couch.

“Can you? All this talk of me being sick has me feeling sick.” 

Nyx throws his head back laughing. “Aw baby, let me take care of you.” He gestures for me to stand and then lays us down. I snuggle myself between his legs with my head on his chest. His heartbeat is a steady drum in my ears as he wraps his wings around me.Nyx clears his throat and flips to the first chapter. “Once upon a time, a very handsome and charming heir of the Night Court-”

“That is not how it starts!” I try to look up to see his face which I can tell is smiling ear to ear.

“How would you know? Have you read this one already?”

“Yes, as a matter of fact I have. Twice! Now start over.” Nyx laughs and rubs a soothing hand up my back as he actually begins to read the story. His baritone voice is lulling me to sleep no matter how hard I try to stay awake. It’s not often Nyx and I get time completely to ourselves, so I try to savor every moment that we do. 

About an hour into the book, I’m just drifting off as Nyx leans down to drop the book on the floor. He shuffles down lower onto the couch and threads his fingers in my hair. “I love you so much, goodnight my love.” He places a kiss on my cheek and I snuggle more into his chest. 

----------

“That is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen in my entire existence.” A loud whisper fills my ears.

“Shhhh Cas! Don’t wake them up” 

“But Az, look! Tell me that’s not the cutest thing you’ve ever seen in your entire existence. Rhys! Come look at your son and tell me that’s not-”

Nyx places his hand over my ear to muffle the sounds. “Uncle Cas. Please be quiet. I don’t want them to wake up.”

“It’s a little too late for that” I mumble as I peek my eyes open. Cassian is sitting on the couch across from us with his hands on his chin, staring with a now shocked face.

Feyre comes over and pulls Cassian to his feet. “We’re sorry dear. We’ll leave you two alone now.” With that the rest of the crew file up the stairs. Feyre looks back one more time, probably visualizing this scene as a painting. Rhys stops on the bottom stair and a look of fondness flashes in his eyes. 

“Dad-”

“Alright, goodnight you two.” 

Nyx continues playing with my hair and places a kiss into my hairline. “I’m sorry they woke you up honey.” I hum and kiss the back of his hand in response. Nyx chuckles. “If you want, I can tell you that story about the handsome and charming heir of th-”

“You know what? That’s okay baby, maybe some other time.” I feel Nyx’s chest shaking with laughter. 

“I love you.”

“And I love you.”

[kingdomof-omens]

Bad Omens HCs

With everyone posting their headcanons, I'm going to join in and tell you all my hcs of Bad Omens. Buckle up buttercup, we're talking boyfriend material and NSFW.

Tags: @signs-of-ill-portent @the-way-of-words @soakme-inbleach @ladyveronikawrites @cncohshit (if you want to be added to the tags, leave a comment or send a DM)

Divider by @/cafekitsune

Folio

My hc is that this man is the teddy bear boyfriend. He's the boyfriend that doesn't have to do anything in particular with you, just as long as you're there spending quality time together. He's a man that likes fishing. Fishing is a lot of waiting, a lot of sitting, and just chillin with a cold one popped open in his hand. So even if you two are sitting next to each other in silence, that's enough for him. He'll reach out to grab your feet to place them in his lap and rub them while you're reading so you have the ultimate relaxation. When he's working on his bike, he'll come to you with puppy dog eyes and ask for help, but all he really wants is for you to sit outside with him while he's changing the spark plugs or replacing a sensor. He's also a jokester, so fully expect to be called "dumbass" at least once a day, but he knows you'll call him a "fuckin bitch" right back. (lovingly, of course) And when you two fall asleep at night, he's going to smother you with cuddles and squeeze you to death so you don't have the chance to leave.

Sexually? This man is open to trying anything, as long as you want to. He's got a steady rhythm as he's disappearing inside of you and he's not going to stop until you come undone around him. His hands stay busy due to hitting drums nightly, so he prefers his girl on top so he can take those calloused palms and run them all over her body, touching, massaging, and maybe a slap or two. He's vocal. He's going to tell you that he loves how tight your pussy is as you roll your hips chasing your own high. He's going to ask you who owns that pussy, and you love telling him that he does. He loves blowjobs, watching you on your knees as your lips are wrapped around his cock working him over. Better relax that throat, cause he's going to end up thrusting himself into your mouth as much as he can. When you two are spent, he's going to take every last bit of energy he has to make sure you're all cleaned up and comfortable before bringing you your favorite pajamas and a glass of water.

Jolly

Jolly's the protector, you're his girl and everyone knows not to fuck with Jolly's Lady™. He's more of a chill boyfriend, wanting to stay home with you and watch movies while everyone else is hitting up the bar. He wants to take you out on dates at the fancy restaurants because that's what you deserve. He'll be out on tour and you'll come home from a long day of work to a bouquet of roses on your counter with a note that says "Miss you sweet girl". And when you FaceTime him to thank him, he's going to be grinning ear to ear because it made your day. He gives all of his trust in a relationship, so he doesn't care who you hang out with or where you go, as long as he knows you're safe and having fun. If anyone were to ever cross you, they'd immediately be placed on his shit list for life. And they better be lucky you talked him down from confronting them for having the audacity to upset his Lady because he would 100% "take care" of someone who hurt you.

In the bedroom, he's a dominant. He's the oldest man in the group and this man has experience. He knows how to bring you to your climax quickly and easily because he knows your body so well, but I think he likes to take him time with you. He likes to roughen things up a bit and loves to make you beg for him to enter you after teasing you all night at said fancy restaurant. If this man puts his hair up in a bun at the beginning of sexy time, you know you're in it for the whole night. He loves rope play, making you sit on your knees waiting patiently as he tightens the knots around your limbs. He'll never do something you're not 100% sure about, and as a matter of fact, he won't do it at all until you're begging for it. Sex, to him, is all for his Lady. He can beat his meat in the bathroom, he doesn't care, but you? You deserve to see stars as much as you and your body can handle. Afterwards, he's going to run you a warm bath with your favorite bath bomb and sit next to you as he takes the washcloth and cleans you up, because a Lady deserves to be taken care of properly.

Noah

He's the learning boyfriend. He wants to do his best giving you his undivided attention, he promises, but he just had a revelation about a song he's working on and he has to jot it down before it disappears. He's a perfectionist, not only in his music, but in making sure when you two schedule plans, it goes accordingly. Even if that means rushing you through your makeup before going out to your anniversary dinner because the reservation is for 6:00, not 6:02. He needs a girl that's patient and understanding, because he's going to hole himself in his studio for days at a time making sure a song is just the way he imagined it. He's going to be exhausted, but when he walks into the bedroom with heavy bags under his eyes, you're going to open your arms and welcome him into your bosom so he can get some much needed rest.

But he's not an dom like a lot of fics portray him as. He has to be in control in a lot of aspects of his life, being a perfectionist and all. So the bedroom is the one place he likes to lose control and give it to you. He wants you to tell him what to do, not in a dominating way, but the sex is all for you and your pleasure- so whatever you want, he'll make sure it's what you get. Speaking of your pleasure, this man is a pussy eater to his core. We've seen/heard about how much this man loves eating pussy and he'll bury himself in your folds like it's his last meal. Sometimes after a stressful day, he'll come to you and rub your knee asking if you could just spread your legs open a little bit so he can have a small taste. He'll lose himself in your slick to the point this man is panting when he pauses for air because he wants to dive right back in. He's not going to stop until he's satiated, and that takes a while. So if this man goes down on you, you better clear your schedule for the next few hours. We've also seen that he had a mirror on his closet door, and boy does he love watching you in the mirror bouncing on him.

Nicholas

He's the tender hearted boyfriend. When he loves you, it's unconditional, it's everlasting, and he puts his all into it. He got home from tour early one day and decided to decorate the house as a surprise for when you get off of work. He loves helping you in the kitchen, baking alongside you so he can find out what makes your choco chip cookies so amazing. He's a tattoo artist, so he catches every little detail of everything. He'll be sitting on the couch sketching something and noticed how your nose scrunches just right as you're trying to solve a 1000 piece puzzle, and next thing he knows he has your portrait on the page. Your home is filled with his artwork. You are so proud of his creations, him just slightly shy that all of your guests will see, but he sees your face light up with every piece and he would draw across the world just to see you smile.

Everyone knows him as the shy, tender hearted boyfriend, but in the bedroom it's the total opposite. This is a side only you will see. I believe this man is the true alpha out of all of the men. There will be some times where you two make love, slow and steady and gazing into each other's eyes as you both come undone. But, he loves temperature play, making you gasp between hot wax and melting ice cubes. He's going to edge you and string you along all night until tears are filling your eyes as you beg for release. He's the one that'll work you up all day, but make you watch him as he pumps his cock to climax and you get nothing because you couldn't stop teasing him at dinner with the guys. He loves calling you his good girl, and good girls wait to do anything until their man says so. But when he's finished making you regret your choices, he's going to cave in and make sure you cum at least once, because he hates seeing his girl so needy, wanting, and neglected. He'll give you proper aftercare, making sure you're clean and comfortable after a session, and he's going to ask you a million times if he went too far, if it was too much, and if there's anything he can do better for your pleasure.

[kingsofeverything]

1k words of harry’s pov after Louis leaves at the end of tshu PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!!!

lol yayyyyyyyyyy i think i've posted part of this before but maybe just the email. i hope i didn't post the whole thing. it's called the drum beats out of time:

If he drives straight back to the flat, he could be in bed by midnight, but he doesn’t. Harry backs his car out of the garage bay, sits there with it still in reverse and watches as the door is slowly lowered until it’s fully closed. Even then, he doesn’t head down the drive toward the road for another minute or two, and when he eventually leaves, he turns right instead of left and wanders around aimlessly, driving until he’s low on gas before he goes home. 

It’s a little after one in the morning when Harry finally gets the key to turn in the lock and he stumbles inside the empty flat, but he isn’t tired, or is too keyed up to sleep, probably. Still, he walks back to the bedroom, pulling his clothes off on his way through the dark flat. Harry feels around on the top of his dresser and finds his laptop, settles onto the bed with it, figuring he’ll distract himself for the next little bit before two o’clock. He just wants to stay awake until Louis leaves, as if his being awake and aware makes a difference. As if he’ll feel Louis’ absence more acutely once he’s no longer in this time.

He opens Netflix, but ignores it in favor of checking his email. There’s a short message from Zayn, telling Harry to keep in touch, and reassuring him that Louis will make it to 2023 just fine. Which he can’t know, and Zayn admits as much, but he says he has a good feeling about it. Harry’ll reply to Zayn’s email later, maybe in the morning or maybe in a few days. When he’s not feeling as raw as he is tonight. 

Harry clicks over to Netflix and watches the pilot episode of Friends, something he’s seen dozens of times and doesn’t have to focus on or keep up with, something he can pretend to watch while he zones out and thinks of Louis and watches the minutes pass on the digital clock in the bottom right corner of his laptop screen. At one fifty-nine, Harry closes out Netflix and stares at the clock. His heartbeat gets incrementally faster, and when the numbers change to read two o’clock, Harry gasps involuntarily and his stomach flips almost violently as he thinks of Louis being taken away from him. Because that’s how he sees it, even if it’s nowhere near the truth. For the next few minutes, Harry continues to watch the clock, and when it’s five after two, he bites his lip and closes his eyes, letting the few tears he has left roll down his cheeks. 

Blinking to clear his vision, Harry stretches his fingers, then opens a new email message. 

To: futurelou

Subject: hi

You’re probably in 2023 already, which is totally fucking with my head. I miss you so much and you just left a few minutes ago. I hope the trip wasn’t bad or uncomfortable…….. Sounds like you’re on a train or something instead of traveling through a wormhole into the future. Idk why I’m emailing you other than I thought of you (haven’t stopped thinking of you, actually) and wanted to talk to you, so here I am. Now that you’re not here to distract me, I’m going to buckle down and figure out what I’m going to do at uni. Eventually. I love you. 

Always yours,

Harry

————

“It’s fucking raining. Shocking, I know,” Harry says, phone wedges between his ear and his shoulder, fiddling with the key in the door, and finally locking it through sheer force of will. At least that’s something he won’t have to deal with in London—wishing for Louis to be there every single time he tries to lock or unlock the goddamn flat. 

Harry hurries to his car and slides behind the wheel, but rushing doesn’t do a damn thing because he’s absolutely soaked. The ends of his hair are dripping rainwater onto his already wet clothes. He wipes his phone dry on the upholstery of the passenger seat, pulls his hair aside with one hand and squeezes some of the water out before twisting it up into a bun and asking, “How is he?”

“I don’t know,” Zayn answers quietly. “It’s not like we talk. He comes to work, he stays late, we avoid each other, and repeat.”

Harry sighs. “I just miss him.”

“I know, mate. I, um… I do too. It’s weird. Listen, when you have time, I want to talk to you about the stabilization of the wormhole.”

“What about?”

“Nothing now. And no big rush. Just when you get settled with your sister, give me a ring?”

“Not sure what you think I can help with. I mean, I’ve got Louis’ notes, but…”

Zayn clicks his tongue and Harry rolls his eyes, knowing what comes next. “It’s nothing to do with Louis’ notes. Want to bounce some ideas around in that curly head of yours. And, Harry, please think it over. You’d be such an asset. You already are.”

Harry scoffs. “I’m not even starting uni until September, if then, and I told you I’m not strong in maths. I don’t see the point in studying physics if I can’t handle—”

“I might know a guy who can tutor you. Just think about it. And let’s Skype soon. Yeah?”

“Yeah, alright.” Harry looks at their old flat through the rain battering the windshield, turns on the wipers and watches them swish back and forth. He mutters, “Wish you could give him my love or something.”

Zayn laughs and says, “He’d kick my arse. How about… send me some of his tea. I’ll sneak it into the break room. It’ll be like a secret gift from you to him.”

Harry smiles, but then his eyes begin to water and he bites his lip and nods, even though Zayn can’t see him. He takes a breath and tries to keep his voice steady. “Thanks, Z. Get some sleep. It’s late there.”

“I’m off tomorrow, so no worries. Safe travels, mate. Anything I can do, just let me know.”

Harry hangs up and sets his phone in the cup holder, rubs his eyes with the cuff of his flannel shirt, and checks the rearview mirror before backing into the road and taking off. It’s still dark out, the sun won’t be up for a few hours, and the roads in Donny are dead quiet. A stark difference from what he knows he’ll find in London, especially since he’s due to arrive at his sister’s sometime around half-nine. 

The repetitive whirring sound of his tires spinning on the street is almost hypnotizing, so Harry clicks on his radio and flips to his most recently made and most listened to playlist and sings along to all of the sad songs that somehow seem to lessen the ache of missing Louis. 

Eleven weeks down, two hundred forty-nine to go. 

[violetmarkings]

How Stray Kids would cuddle (based off of tarot readings)

Genre :: Fluff, Reaction, Tarot reading based

Pairing :: skz members x gender neutral reader

Word count :: 1750

Warnings ::  This is literally a poetic interpretation of tarot readings, lots of metaphors and comparisons, CUDDLES, kisses, hand holding, sappy and romantic, mentions of having wounds, scars, fears (they get soothed), a bit of possessiveness in lee know's, butter croissants, hyunjin wants you to avoid responsibilities, Felix is a cuddle addict, magic (?)

A/N: You guys really enjoyed my poetical take on heartwarming things skz would do while intimate (18+) , so I thought I'd do something else in that writing style! This is the first time I ever do fluff on this account though lol. And since I also do tarot and we've reached another follower milestone, I thought I'd write this as a gift to you guys to celebrate :D  Thank you for the love and follows, guys! <3

Chan, healing cuddles - V of Wands R, IV of swords R, Wheel of fortune, Justice

The sword, it must be glued to your wrist ;; your body turned into a shield, slashed at - you're weary, full of battle scars from your battles. But to Chan, it doesn't matter if you won or not, all matters that you came to home into his arms. His soldier, his brave, strong soldier, you're back. So many nights he's spent calling you home, sending you doves with secret letters, so that he could hold you again and have you rest ;; let him heal you. The battle's been fought, it's time to let it go now - but how can you, when the wounds still sting? He'll make it better, he promises. He'll be the magical, healing salve you need. The scars, they will always be there, yes ;; but he loves every single one of them. Your heart doesn't need to drum that hard anymore. You don't need to be hyper aware of your foes. It's okay, you're safe. The pain, he's absorbed it, it's gone, disappeared. And no matter how many times you go to war, you can always know, your refuge is always waiting with baited breath, for you to return home, so he can hold you and make all the bad go away.

Lee know, tight cuddles - VII of pentacles R, X of swords R

Minho's truly like a feline ;; he likes to play with you, play with your heart and nerves. When you want his affection, he'll joke, no you can't have me, but then pull you right back. But please don't misunderstand, you're not just a play mate to him, and he'd never feel ready to let you go. Why? Because although a feline, he's a domesticated one - he can't go on without you, you're his home, his water, his food, he needs you. He might jokingly push you away, but he never ever would want you to leave. Stay, please stay, he'd even beg. The way he'd hold you, although you'd never know - would be as if he was scared you'd disappear the next second, like sand between his fingers. When he'd hold you, it'd be tight, glued to him, you're his, his, he refuses to let you go. Waking up without you would mean breaking to shambles, so please excuse him. Excuse him for squeezing you to his heart, for wanting to drown in your perfume, for putting your body in love arrest. His love birthed demons, and they whisper to him, if he doesn't entangle himself with you, weave himself to you - one day he'll wake up without a home.

Changbin, royal cuddles - Spirit of pentacles, Lord of pentacles, Nine of pentacles R, Dreamer of Swords

Teach Changbin how to love you, show him who to be, how to be. Nothing is off the table, no, anything for his love. How do you like to be held? Where? When? Your word is law, and he's an abiding citizen ;; he wants to be fair and righteous for you, your figure of justice, your hero. For you, he'll provide, turn himself upside down, there's no limit ;; he'll make sure there is none. He can't only give you one thing, one domain, no, no. Love is complex, love is tangled in a labyrinth of endless ends, and he must explore every path, he must fulfil every sense. A pillow to rest your head, sweet scented sheets for comfort, the warmth of his body he gives to you so you won't feel cold, his fingers are now made to soothe you and his voice is whispering to you, caressing your heart too, how could he ever forget it. You'd think it'd be impossible for him to fetch you hot butter croissants in the morning and serve them to you like your royalty? Well you're wrong. Royalty would envy you, kings and queens stirring in their graves over how well he spoils you.

Hyunjin, escapist cuddles - VIII of Wands R

There was something pressing on your shoulders before Hyunjin's arms enveloped you. The weight of the world, some sort of societal confection, something urgent, causing you distress. But what was it, again? You can't remember. Good, good, you're in the loop now. You're in his infinity loop, in his hold that seems to repeat itself forever ;; but it never bores you, not at all. But what it is this loop? It's his hold on you, his comforting touch, warmth, smell. Society is calling you? Don't go. There's something urgent? No, it can wait. But you can't always run away from responsibility in his arms, right? Wrong, wrong. In his arms, he can protect you. In his arms, he knows you're safe. In his arms, he can make you happy. Like a broken vinyl player, he'll keep scratching the same note, don't go, stay with me instead. Even if to most it's illusionary, an oasis is the better than the unforgiving desert - so stay. Enjoy the magic and lose yourself in the joy.

Han, binding cuddles - Spirit of Pentacles, The lovers R, Five of Wands

Jisung loves you with everything he has - he won't be stingy about absolutely anything. His heart? You have it. His body? Yours to move, to feel, to breathe. There's nothing of his that isn't yours, no moment when he'd want to be apart from you. You're entangled in body in soul, only to grow closer and closer and even more inseparable, like two trees weaving their roots with one another. But as trees, you don't need to speak, now do you? No, you can just communicate through the mere touch of branches, that mess you've woven yourself into. Telepathy, that's it. He'll hold your hand, yes baby I hear you. He'll pull you closer, I'm listening, tell me more. He'll kiss you gently, we'll get through it together, I swear. And as your head lies on his chest, on his heartbeat - you can hear them, his thoughts. They're all calling for you, your name sounds so soft and angelic repeating in his mind, and he proclaims his undying love again and again with the voice of his touch. So if your lover is ever being quiet, close your ears and use your other senses ;; because he's speaking, oh he's so loud - he wants to tell you how impossible it is to ever remove his roots from within the grasp of yours.

Felix, consistent cuddles - Knight of swords, VIII of wands R, Four of wands

Love doesn't need a specific timing, Felix thinks. It comes from a deep place, rooted in the heart, it grows roots and remains there only to grow stronger and taller ;; to hold you close, it doesn't need to be grand, it just needs to be genuine. And genuine he is, yes, when he says there won't be a moment when he won't want you in his hold. He's introverted himself into your arms, and just like the comfort of home, it won't become old or stale to him. So he'll want you, want to cling onto you and warmth and soul, at any point, through any feeling. Sadness, happiness, comfort and it's opposite ;; truth be told, he doesn't need a reason, it's an impulse, an instinct to run to you. Sometimes he'll apologize, that's he's too much, that he's weighting you down, holding you hostage, craving you like an insatiable beast, no matter the time, place and situation - and he hopes, wishes, begs that you won't feel his hugs, cuddles, and affection would lose meaning due to overuse. But he always loves you, in body and soul, without the need of an occasion - so please understand, if his arms are always around you, that doesn't mean it's a meaningless habit ;; every single moment mean the world to him, just like you do.

Seungmin, dreamy cuddles - Two of wands, Maat, Ten of Swords

You are where he dreams and what he dreams, both at once. Brimming at the edge of an inception, Seungmin dreams of dreaming with you, next to you, of you. Tangled with you, all is right - he can rest his head, his soul, his heart, they're safe with you, in your loving arms. Only by you can he feel at ease to rest, to let himself overcome by slumber ;; because when he closes his eyes and journeys to Dreamland, his body is protected by yours - but even there, in the astral plane, he'll search for you, to inspire him of paradise, of perfection to plaster a smile on his face in the real world. But he doesn't even have to be asleep to dream, no, no. Not when you're around, he doesn't. He's awake, but he's dreaming, looking at you with galaxies in his eyes, caressing your face with gentleness ;; you're the moon in his dark sky, you light up his soul - and then he dreams with you, too. Into the night, he tells you all he dreams of, all his desires of the future, reveals his secrets wishes to never let you go ;; but they won't remain just dreams, no no. They will be plans, they will be real, your future together will happen, paradise is achievable. And as words stop falling from your lips and eyelids slowly close, once again all is well because you're together.

I.N, magical cuddles - Queen of Cups, II of Swords R, Page of Swords

You've probably never felt something as unique and special as Jeongin's magical touch. His hold on you, it's anything but physical. His trust is holding the hand of your trust, his fears are caressing your fears, his doubts are kissing away yours, his wounds are hugging yours, his vulnerability is cradling your vulnerability with upmost care ;; he wants you to know you're safe. Your thoughts are safe, your emotions are safe, in this bodily hold that serves completely other purposes. And yet, there's some physicality to it too, since your bodies are vessels, communicators of the mind and soul ;; his aura, his effect on you, makes you think you've gone delusional sometimes - because you can swear there's a certain sparkle to his fingertips, and when he glides them above you, it's like he's casting a spell. A spell that heals, a spell that nurtures, calms, fixes absolutely everything. A spell that replaces any evil, any pain - mental, emotional, physical - with purity and goodness. And just how he can caress your mind and heart with his fingers, your thoughts and emotions can smile when he's around.

---

With some members I needed to pull a lot more cards lol, don't mind the inconsistency pls. I also used two different decks in case you're wondering

-Admin Starlight ⭐

If you wish to tip/donate to my work, you can do so on my Ko-Fi!

[havin-a-wee]

If Only She Knew

pairing: dad!harry x cheerleader!reader

word count: 4.2k

warnings: smut (fingering + unprotected sex), cheerleading position implies readers weight, 20 year age gap

hi! ive been having some really bad writers block but i wrote this and even though its def not my best work i like it enough to post it :) also, i totally didn't mean to imply the readers weight, i only realized afterwards, so im really sorry about that. also the age gap is kinda big, so if ur uncomfy with that you shouldn't read this <3

PLEASE REBLOG IF YOU ENJOY

“Geez watch where you’re going!”

You don’t even look up at the girl, recognizing her nasally voice easily from how annoying it is. You were nose deep in a book while walking down the school hallway, and of course your worst enemy had to be walking down the same hallway, at the same time, in the opposite direction. You are both at fault for the collision, considering Ella had her eyes locked on her instagram feed. But knowing the girl, there is no way in hell that she will take any responsibility, even though you are the one who has coffee dripping down the front of your white blouse.

Since middle school, Ella Styles has always hated you. You have never known why, but she seems to have a vendetta against you, and tries her best to make your life miserable. You never let her, always refraining from giving her the explosive reaction that she was looking for. And that makes her hate you even more.

High school is over in 2 months, and although you are going to miss the freedom of being a child, you most definitely won’t miss the people from the tiny town you’ve lived in since you were young. You’ve always been the type of person to have a small friend group, only 4 people in your circle. But that’s how you like it, because crippling social anxiety makes it difficult for you to meet new people.

“I- sorry.” You still don’t look at her, instead peeling the soaking wet top off of your stomach.

“You better be sorry.” She flips her blonde hair, ensuring that the fluffy locks hit you right in the face. You are lucky this time seeing as she didn’t take it further, because sometimes she would purposely embarrass you after small incidents such as this one.

Tears well at your waterline and you run into the nearest bathroom, pushing open the blue door and locking yourself in a stall.

After all these years of torment, Ella rarely was able to get to you. But sometimes, she does something that pushes you off the edge, leaving you with red, tear-stained cheeks. The final straw this time was her ruining your brand new shirt, the one you were anxiously waiting to debut at school.

But now there was coffee dripping down your chest and staining the bright white fabric. Your only saving grace is the cheerleading uniform in your backpack. In fact, you were walking to the locker room to change for practice, and then for the game at 6 tonight.

You had been excited for the game, knowing that Friday night games always led to parties and fun afterwards. You rarely go to parties of course, but the buzzing energy never fails to rub off on you. But now that stupid Ella had to go and mess up your day, you’re dreading seeing her smug face while she asserts her dominance as cheer captain.

You untie your top and rip it off in a haste, frustrated tears running down your face periodically. You could’ve put a jacket on and gone to the locker room, but Ella would be going there soon, and the last thing you want to do is run into her with teary eyes. She can’t know that you let her get to you.

You brush your hands down your uniform, pulling down the skimpy costume and stuffing your old clothes in your backpack. Once out of the stall, you pull your hair up into a high ponytail, reapply your lip gloss and walk back into the hallway, having already done your makeup that morning. You’re happy that it’s a home game today, because the home game uniforms are two pieces and the skirts are smaller than the ones on the away game uniforms. There is a certain someone you are looking to impress, and the way your tits spill out from the top of the outfit will most certainly help you in your mission.

It’s not like you need to impress him, because he’s shown time and time again that he finds you sexy no matter what you wear. And when he doesn’t tell you, he shows you, by pressing his hard on up against your ass after you just woke up, despite your messy hair and bare face.

However, he also loves when you tease him. And that’s exactly what you’re planning to do.

You sling your heavy backpack over one shoulder and trudge down the hallway, the old fluorescent lights practically blinding you on your journey. The locker room is dingy, smelling of cheap soap and Victoria’s Secret perfume. At least it doesn’t smell like the boys locker room, which smells like sweat and more sweat.

It's already bustling with people, your teammates scrambling to get ready in time as to not get yelled at by the coach.

“Y/N!” The familiar shout of your best friend Rose is like a breath of fresh air, and you bound over to her. She’s standing in front of your lockers, the two of you obviously picking ones next to each other. “Wait, why are you already changed?”

“The bitch spilled her coffee all over me,” you grumbled, your eyes shifting over to where Ella and her little goons are giggling.

“I keep telling you, anytime you want me to beat her up I will gladly do it.”

“Not that I doubt your abilities Rose, because I know you would have her on the ground in a heartbeat, but I can’t let you do that. She can’t know that she upsets me.” You lower your voice for the second sentence, irrationally fearing that she can hear you over the loud chatter echoing through the room.

“I still think you should let me beat her up, but you do you I guess.” Rose shrugged her shoulders and turned back to her locker, bursting out into laughter with you after a beat of silence.

The rest of the getting ready process goes smoothly, Rose distracting you from the girl side-eyeing you in the corner. Soon enough, the whole squad was in formation outside, and you have your hands on the shoulders of Rose and another girl named Bethany. You are a flyer, meaning that you’re the one who the bases support while you pose and flip in the air. Its a hard job, but you are one of only three girls on the team who is advanced enough at flying to be safe doing it in routines. One of the other three girls is Ella.

Ella is the flyer for the middle group, seeing as she is the captain. You are on the right and the other group is on the left. Luckily, Rose is a base in your group, so you feel a lot better putting your safety in the hands of someone you already trust with your life.

“ELLA! YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG!” Coach Habbiths voice is piercing, her angry shrieks bouncing off your ear drums. Ella audibly huffs, displaying her frustration with the critiques she has been receiving since we learned the routine weeks ago. That’s one of the biggest problems with Ella, she believes that she's always right.

Every single practice she has done a needle instead of a scale at the end of the routine. It's aggravating for everyone, and that frustration is amplified everytime she makes the same mistake over and over. “Alright, everyone down. group 1 and group 3 take five, Ella and group 2 stay on the field.

The team obliged to her instructions, and you are brought down from the air.

“Okay Ella, I want you to watch how Y/N does the last move, because she’s actually doing it correctly.” Coach is standing in front of you now, and she emphasized the word ���correctly’. This is much to Ella’s dismay, and much to your excitement.

Nothing brings you more joy than seeing Ella’s face when you one up her, and this time is no exception.

Aside from a few eye rolls and nasty looks, Ella corrects the move without much fuss. By now there's 15 minutes until the game, and the players have been warming up on the field for about half an hour.

“Did you see her face!” Rose tugs on your arm while you walk back to the locker room, water bottles in hand.

“I know! I should’ve taken a picture!”

“We can only hope that it knocked her ego down a peg.”

“I doubt it” Rose nodded in agreement and you continued your chatter, talking about the random things that best friends talk about.

“It’s go time ladies!” You jumped in surprise when Coach Habbiths yelling booms through the locker room, the hefty amount of metal in the room enhancing the echo.

In a blur, your entire team rushed out onto the field, the crisp air cooling your warmed skin. There was a huge crowd. probably the biggest the teams ever had. But that makes sense, because this game was against your school's biggest rival. Luckily, despite the huge crowd you were able to lock eyes with those piercing green irises you have gotten to know so well over the past couple months. Everytime you see him he gets more and more attractive, and this time is no exception.

At this point, the teams routine is muscle memory and you’re done with it before you can blink. Most people would think that being thrown in the air is memorable, but your main concern is the growing wet patch on your panties that spreads each time you squeeze your thighs together. Just the thought of the man is enough to turn you on, and now that you’re sitting on the cold metal bench your imagination has time to go wild.

The only thing that snapped you out of your daze was the eruption of appaulause from the audience, and the realization that the other cheerleaders were standing up and running towards the players. You breath out a sigh of relief, recognizing the cheering as a signal that the game has ended.

“Hey, you coming?” Rose tugs on your arm, looking down at you still on the bench.

“Um, actually I don’t feel so well, I think I’m going to go home.”

“I should’ve known. You know, one day you’re going to have to go to a party.” Rose places her hands on her hips, giving you a sarcastically annoyed stare.

“And today is not that day.” You grab your backpack and sling it over your shoulder, turning back to Rose for a second. “Have fun and be safe.”

“I always do.” Rose places a chaste kiss on your cheek before turning back to the gathering crowd on the turf.

Instead of heading to the sidewalk and walking home, you duck under the bleachers and walk down the gravel path, pushing open the fence that separates the field and the school. The contents of your backpack slosh around while you sway your hips as you walk. Finally, you make it to the back wall of the school, leaning your back against it and plopping your heavy backpack down by your feet.

And now you wait.

Much to your convenience, the wait this time isn’t long, only five minutes passing before you see the familiar man following the same path you did earlier.

He has a pair of brown slacks on, pressing against his waist courtesy of his black belt. A button up white shirt hides the tattoos on his stomach, but he's rolling up his sleeves as he walks over to you. He's walking with intention, hungry eyes zeroed in on you.

When he’s only steps away, you cheekily bite your lip and use your finger to push up your skirt a little bit more.

Your actions have the intended effect, his eyes blowing wide and hands grasping at your waist.

“Y’can’t do that.”

Before you have a chance to ask what he means, his lips collide with yours, his tongue slipping in only moments after the initial kiss. But as soon as he started, he pulls away.

“Y’can’t be teasing me on the field like tha’, had me hard next t’my friends.” His hand is on the wall above your head, and his other arm is wrapped around your waist pulling you into his chest. He’s panting, and you are too.

“Sorry Mr. Styles,” you push your bottom lip out in a pout, giving him the most innocent look possible. “Just wanted to wear it cause I know how much you like it.”

“Aw, my babygirl wore this f’me? Well I guess y’can be forgiven. Now let’s get t’my house before I fuck yeh right on this wall.” He places a soft kiss to your lips picking up your backpack from the floor and turning to the direction of his car.

“But it hurts!” He turns around again, giving you a sympathetic look and caressing your cheek. The rings on his fingers are cold, but you’re used to the feeling.

“I know sweet girl, but I can’t take care of yeh here, s’too risky.” He pauses for a moment, thinking of a solution to your not so little problem. “How bout I give y’my fingers in the car? Hows that sound hm?” You nod eagerly, pulling his hand down from your cheek and holding it. He takes the signal and begins walking to his car while you follow him.

You never planned to sleep with your bullies dad. But a few months ago your parents dragged you to a family friends housewarming party, and that friend happened to be a friend of Harry’s too. There were no other teenagers there, so your focus was on the attractive older man who had been checking you out since you first locked eyes, and after ending up in the upstairs bathroom together the two of you have been fucking at least twice a week. You only learned that he’s a dad when you saw him for the first time outside the party. He didn’t look the part, and you actually thought he was in his 20s until he corrected you. He’s 38, having become a parent at only 20 years old. Your relationship is a bit taboo, but you’re a mature 18 year old and you and Harry get along well. So well that your time together has developed from casual sex to a mutually exclusive relationship. (Neither of you like labels, but you’re basically boyfriend and girlfriend).

He makes you really happy, and when you have to face off against Ella, it helps knowing that you have power over her, even though she doesn’t know it.

“Did she do anything today?” Harry is walking beside you, hands still intertwined.

“Besides spilling coffee on my shirt, nothing much.” Harry sighs in frustration and squeezes your hand as a show of affection.

“M’so sorry, I wish y’didn’t ‘ave to deal with her.”

The thing about Harry and Ella is they can barely be considered family. Ella’s mom is, for lack of a better word, a bitch. She’s snobby, conceited, and rude, and those behaviors have rubbed off on Ella. Another thing that rubbed off on her was her mom’s hatred for Harry. Being young parents put strain on their already struggling relationship, and they split before Ella’s first birthday. Harry said he tried his best to make it work for Ella’s sake, but her mom was looking for someone to pay for her life, and Harry had just started working his way up as a businessman.

Now, he’s a CEO, but luckily Ella’s mom already found a new beau with plenty of money, so she didn’t come crawling back to him. However, the success Harry achieved only a few years after their breakup made her jealous, and so she instilled that anger in their daughter. So currently Ella spends most of her time with her mother, and when she is with Harry she doesn’t treat him kindly.

“It’s not your fault Harry, you don’t have to apologize for her actions.”

“I know, I jus’ hate tha’ she treats yeh like that.” He sighs again, reaching into his pocket to grab his keys. In a few more steps you’re standing outside the sleek black suv, walking around to the passenger seat and sliding in once you hear the click of the door unlocking.

You both take a few seconds to breathe, an unspoken gesture to prepare for the night's events. Harry turns to you, a sexy smirk plastered on his face. “What d’ya think about fixin’ that ache darlin?” You nod eagerly, sliding down a bit in your seat to give your legs room to spread. “Think yeh can take off y’skirt fo’me?” Your head bobs once again as you nod, hooking your fingers under the elastic waistband and shimmying out of the skirt. While you’re doing that, Harry turns the car into the deserted street, using only one hand to steer.

You toss the tiny skirt into his lap, giving him a signal without distracting his eyes from the road. He reacts immediately, his free hand coming down to squeeze your thigh. You mewl at the contact and bite down on your lip, trying to stop your hips from bucking up in search of relief. His squeezes move up your thigh, and finally his fingers press against your weeping cunt. Swiftly, he pushes your soiled panties to the side, swiping his fingers up your folds collecting your juices. You shriek and buck your hips up into his hand, but much to your dismay he removes it from between your thighs. The car comes to a stop at a red light, and Harry takes the moment to look at you, his eyes wandering your squirming body. He’s practically drooling when he places his fingers in his mouth, tasting your sweet wetness.

“Sorry pup, jus’ needed t’taste yeh.” He chuckles again, and you whine softly in desperation. In one quick motion, he dives his hand back to your pussy, pressing his thumb on your swollen clit.

“Fuck!” The pleasure shoots up your spine, goosebumps raising across your body as he rubs circles on the puffy button. “Harry- please,”

“What d’ya want puppy? Want m’fingers?”

“Yes, yes,” you breathe out, words barely comprehensible through your panting.

“Alright, alright, I gotcha.” And with that his two fingers press into you, filling your tight hole perfectly. There is no hesitation before he begins pumping the digits in and out of you and his thumb never lets up on your bundle of nerves. “Such a needy puppy, got yeh soaking f’me from out in the stands hm?” His eyes are still on the road, but you can picture the lust filled eyes that are undoubtedly on his face.

“Get so wet jus- just thinkin’ about you,” you gasp, writhing as his fingers slam in and out of you.

“Yeah? This is my cunt, m’the only one who can make yeh this wet, isn’t tha’ right?”

“Only Harry.” At your confirmation he speeds his hand up, your vision clouding with white spots as the knot building in your stomach grows tighter and tighter.

All of a sudden, he pulls his fingers out of you, leaving you empty. “Wha-” You begin to question him but you realize that he’s pulling into his driveway. Instead of complaining, you sit up quickly and unbuckle your seatbelt, pulling your skirt back up your legs to avoid being nude on his front lawn.

As soon as you feel the little jolt your hand yanks on the handle and you hop out of the car. Your brain is fuzzy with need and all you are focused on is alleviating the aching between your thighs. You hear Harry lock the car while you're on the steps, and you turn back to ensure that he’s behind you. And sure enough, he’s hot on your trail, just as eager as you to get inside and onto his bed. Your foot is tapping on the ground anxiously, waiting for Harry to unlock the front door. After what seems like an hour, he is next to you again, fumbling with the silver keychain in his hand, eventually unlocking and pushing open the door. You both practically run inside, hands roaming each other's bodies and lips locking as you shuffle through the hall.

You disconnect breathlessly when you reach the stairs, subconsciously wrapping your hands around Harry’s neck so he can pick you up bridal style. He does so hastily, barely a second passing before he’s plopping you onto the fluffy mattress. “Finally,” he pants, hands fumbling with his belt buckle. There’s a prominent bulge in his trousers, and although you’ve seen it plenty, you are always in awe at how thick and big he is. While he’s busy removing his clothes, you are practically drooling at the sight of his bare cock, full, heavy, and dripping precome.

“Harry?”

He looks back down at you with his emerald green eyes, simultaneously dropping his recently-removed shirt on the floor. “Can I ride you?” The look he gives you is indescribable, a mixture of need, lust, cockiness, and beauty all rolled up into one.

“Whatever y’want puppy,” His hands scoop under your ass, and he lifts you up and switches your positions. Now it’s your turn to undress, and Harry makes himself busy by running his hands up and down your torso. “So gorgeous, y’know that?” You nod quickly then pull your shirt off of your head. “Most beautiful girl in the world I reckon.” You blush at the compliment, butterflies being added to the many sensations occuring in your body. You straddle his thighs, wrapping your hand around his length and tugging a few times. A loud groan rumbles through his throat, and you smile knowing you’re the one who made him feel like that. “Thought- thought yeh said y’wanted to ride me pup.”

“I do.” You keep your hand on his cock, sitting up on your knees and lining him up with your weeping cunt. All at once, your body is put at ease as his cock fills you up perfectly. He bottoms out inside of you, both of you moaning and groaning while you adjust. “So big-” Your words come out in choppy pants, the syllables being cut off by your heaves. You suck in one deep breath and move upwards, sinking back down onto him quickly. His large hands hold a tight grip on your waist, guiding you up and down his member. His lips attach to your neck, suckling on the supple skin just enough so that it doesn’t bruise.

“What a dirty little puppy you are,” he growls, eyes focusing heavily on where your bodies connect, watching himself disappear inside of you as you bounce up and down on his cock.

“Feel so full-” Tingles ricochet down every part of your body, and your legs are becoming weaker with each movement. Harry can feel your movement faltering, so his hips thrust upwards to meet yours, fucking you from underneath. “Harry!”

“I know pup, I know.” His thumb strokes your cheek and he leans in for another kiss, devouring your plump lips and swirling his tongue around yours. “So fuckin tight,” The words tumble from his mouth in a low growl, which sends the butterflies in your stomach into a frenzy. His cock twitches inside of you, encouraging you to muster all your energy and finish both of you off. Adrenaline kicks in and your strength returns, riding him faster and harder than before. “Let go f’me Y/N.” It only takes a few more thrusts for you to come undone, Harry’s orgasm following suit. The waves of pleasure roll through your body, and you throw your head back in ecstasy as you allow the feeling to overcome your body. Spurts of his hot cum cover your velvety walls and you ride out your orgasms together, resting your foreheads against one another.

You end up sleeping at his house, feeling safe knowing that Ella is staying with her mom today. It’s normal for you to sleep at his place, seeing as both of you are usually so tired that you pass out before you can leave. What isn’t normal is for you to be woken up in the morning by Harry’s phone ringing. Harry is a deep sleeper, and you laugh at the sight of him conked out while his ringtone blares on the nightstand just a few inches away. Carefully, you reach over his sleeping body and grab the phone, planning on hanging it up and going back to bed. However, when you saw that it was Ella calling, you changed your mind. Making a split second decision, you slide the icon to the right, holding it up to your ear.

“Hello?” Her whiney voice rings through your eardrum and you wince. Not the nicest thing to be woken up to.

“Hello,” you answer, your voice not reflecting the cocky grin that spread across your face.

“Who the hell is this!” she shrieks, and you make a mental note that she must not be a morning person.

“A friend of your dads.” Your response is once again calm and monotone, trying to stifle the laugh that is bubbling in your throat.

“Ugh! What’s your name?”

“Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N”

[quindolyn]

hi can i request the maurauders going to see the reader do a musical like heathers or mean girls and they are just confused and turned on bc they didn't expect it to be this dirty (can lead to smut or not). luv you and hope you are taking care of yourself, if not go get something to eat, drink some water, take a nap, or do somthing you enjoy. or dont not trying to be pushy :)

Creature of the Night || Poly!Marauders

Word Count: 3029 (excluding song lyrics)

A/N: I think I liked how this turned out? I didn’t make it smut but it’s certainly suggestive, I went with Rocky Horror, I know that the musicals mentioned in the request are more modern but I fucking love Rocky Horror and I think it works with the request. When I first read this request I smiled so much because I love live theater, I don’t perform as much as I used to because as I progress with my education I’m focusing more on the stuff I can use to pad my resumes for college and stuff but I still love going to see productions. One of the worst parts of the pandemic for me has been not being able to go see shows, I miss it so much.

Warnings: theatre enthusiast reader, erections, suggestive material, song lyrics, slight teasing, wearing very little clothing in front of an audience, I believe that that is it

Masterlist

500 follower celebration

antici-

The magic of the stage was second to none. Sure, Hogwarts may have had witches and wizards, subjects like Transfiguration and Defense Against the Dark Arts, and ghosts that spent their time meandering about the halls but there was always a part of you that looked forward to the summer between your years at Hogwarts. Because no matter how magical Hogwarts was, the theater always made you feel completely and utterly alive. 

Every summer since the one after your first year at what all of your muggle friends thought to be a very prestigious boarding school up in Scotland, you’d taken part in your local youth theater’s productions. Your parents both being muggles thought that it would be a great way for you to be able to stay in touch with your muggle origins. 

The first year you’d been far too nervous to actually audition for a role, the very thought causing bile to churn in your stomach and threaten to make you sick all over your kitchen floor when your father first pitched the idea. So instead you’d done costumes and it was the most wonderful experience of your life. 

Who needed drugs when you had live theater? The hustle and bustle behind the scenes was electrifying but after two summers of costuming, of quick changes in the wings, learning how to use the ancient sewing machines they stored in the depths of the storage rooms, and pulling pieces for the actors to try on you decided that you wanted to try something more.

The moment you had stepped onto the stage it was like you’d come to life and you cursed yourself for not taking the risk earlier. You belonged on the stage, with the harsh stage lights on you and pounds of makeup plastered onto your face you could feel the magic thrumming through your veins and it was addicting.

If it was possible, you were even more excited to perform this summer, the previous school year you’d finally gotten together with your long time best friends the Marauders, turning them from friends to your boyfriends.

When your mother had sent word of the production being put on this summer you’d squealed while seated next to James and across from Remus, who had Sirius hanging off of his side. After explaining to them, mostly Sirius and James really, just what live theater was their first reaction was to ask if they could come see you perform.

“I don’t even know if I’m going to be cast,” You had explained gently, not wanting to get their hopes up in case you weren’t cast this year.

“Bull shit of course you’re going to be the cast,” Sirius had contested through a mouthful of jam and toast, waving his hand theatrically through the air, watching him that day was not the first time you’d considered how the way he acted often reminded you of an over enthusiastic theatre major.

Remus, the only one with any knowledge on muggle theatre had snorted, wrapping an arm around Sirius’ waist to pull him closer to his body, “She’s not going to be the cast Pads, she’s going to be casted,” He’d corrected gently, pressing a kiss into his long, dark tresses.

“Whatever,” The smaller boy had grumbled, taking a sip of pumpkin juice.

Which brought you to where you were right now, five minutes to curtain touching up your make up in the mirror of the shared make-up room.

“Hey (L/N),” One of your cast mates called settling into the makeup chair next to you as she plucked a tube of dark red lipstick from the small canary colored makeup bag she had previously abandoned on the counter, “Your boyfriends coming tonight?” She asked, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

“Yeah, they are,” You responded, applying mascara to your lashes.

“Excited to meet them, that photo you showed us,” She smiled, fanning her face with her hand, “Smoking,” She smiled, making eye contact with you in the mirror.

Rolling your eyes you ignored her comment, “It’s five minutes to curtain, you’re just now doing your make-up?” You chuckled, noticing her black face.

“Oh, shove it,” She laughed as you pushed yourself from your chair, traipsing out of the room, giving her the middle finger on your way out.

“Break a leg!” She called after you as the door latched shut.

You weren’t usually this nervous before a performance but knowing that your three boyfriends were sitting out there somewhere in the audience had you pacing back and forth backstage wondering what they were going to think of the whole production.

“Rocky Horror?” Sirius’ confusion evident in his voice as he plopped down in his seat next to Remus, throwing his arm around the werewolf’s shoulders, drumming his fingers on his clothed shoulder hidden behind his knitted cardigan.

“Yeah,” James collapsed into his chair on the other side of Remus, tucking one leg under his body, “No clue what it’s about but I’m sure our angel will be wonderful. Can you guys see her?” He straightened himself up in his seat, craning his neck in attempts to catch a glimpse of you.

Remus being the only one with any ties to the muggle world knew a bit about the show and had to do his very best to suppress a smirk from overtaking his face as he knew exactly what he and your other two boyfriends were getting themselves into. 

“Just hush up you two, the show’s gonna start any moment,” He scolded, patting his large, scarred hand on James’ thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“Rem,” Sirius whined, puckering his lips and closing his eyes, signaling to his boyfriend that he wanted a kiss.

“My needy baby,” He crooned, leaning in to connect his lips with Sirius’ in a quick liplock before pulling back, allowing Sirius to drop his forehead to smear against his shoulder.

“That’s mean,” Sirius murmured discontentedly.

“Poor baby Pads,” James cooed mockingly.

“Both of you,” Remus hissed as the lights in the theatre dimmed, “The show’s about to start, be good for me and be quiet yeah?”

Their response came in their silence as the crowd started settling down and the music from the orchestra pit began a voice coming from somewhere out of sight as it was played through the speakers,

“Michael Rennie was ill

The day the earth stood still

But he told us where we stand”

Not 20 minutes into the show all three of them were as hard as rocks, James had already made Remus check the playbill for the name of the character you were playing, not being able to remember what you’d told them as all of his concentration was focused on a certain place.

Janet Weiss.

Remus couldn’t remember either, but he was almost certain that’s the name he could make out in the dark theatre, printed next to a picture of your smiling face.

When you’d stripped down to your underwear the boys could barely focus on the plot line of the show, only being able to watch the way your bare skin shone under the harsh light of the spotlights. Watching as sweat glistened on your skin, making you shine as you moved about the stage. 

Enchanted by the melodic cadence of your voice they all felt a certain jealousy burning deep in the pits on their stomachs at the thought that there were dozens of other people packed into that theater, all observing you in your vulnerable state of under dress. Only they got to see you like that.

Sirius missed much of the first act glaring at members of the audience who he deemed as looking at you for too long for his liking, but if you were being honest a 4th year smiling at you in the hallway was sometimes too long for his liking.

It wasn’t like any of them had never seen you naked before, in fact they’d all seen you naked more than their fair share of times but something about you on that stage in a white bra with a matching slip was driving them all crazy.

Especially Remus, whose ultimate weakness was seeing you in anything white which was one of the reasons you’d been so excited to invite them in the first place, knowing that they would be horny messes the entire time.

On stage you did your very best not to look out into the audience looking for them, knowing that you wouldn’t be able to stop a ginormous grin from forming on your face and you couldn’t afford to break character. Not if you wanted the night to go your way.

As the opening notes to “Touch-A, Touch-A, Touch Me”, rose from the orchestra pit you had trouble stopping a small smirk from pulling at your lips as you opened them, inhaling deeply before singing the first words of the song,

“I was feeling done in, couldn't win

I'd only ever kissed before”

Despite yourself you caught a glimpse of long dark hair in the audience, quickly taking a glance at Sirius’ face, eyes glazed over in lust, legs shifting uncomfortably with his mouth hanging wide open. 

Out of the corner of your eye you noticed another raven-haired boy’s mouth dropping as you shrugged off of your robe

“I thought there’s no use getting, into heavy petting

It only leads to trouble and, seat wetting

Now all I want to know, is how to go

I've tasted blood and I want more”

It was impossible to miss the way Remus’ jaw clenched as you laid your palm against Rocky’s chest, he was being played by your good friends who’d been working with the same theatre company as you since forever, he was like a brother to you. But that didn’t mean you couldn’t lay it on extra thick tonight with your boyfriends in the audience.

Tracing a dainty finger down Rocky’s chest you pushed your body against his singing out the next lyrics of the song,

“I've got an itch to scratch, I need assistance”

You turned you and your cast mate so that looking over his shoulder you were able to meet Remus’ eye, sending him a quick wink before focusing back in on Rocky.

“Toucha, toucha, toucha, touch me

I wanna be dirty

Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me

Creature of the night”

Pressing your back up against Rocky’s chest you guided his hands with yours to your breasts, squeezing them as you followed the choreography you knew by heart.

You ripped your slip from your body with the help of Rocky leaving you in only your white bra, matching panties and a pair of small heels as you paraded around stage, belting the suggestive lyrics into the theater.

“Then if anything grows, while you pose

I'll oil you up and rub you down (down, down, down)

And that’s just one small fraction, of the main attraction

You need a friendly hand, oh i need action”

You smirked, thinking about all of the action you’d be on the receiving end of later that night as you sunk to your knees in front of Rocky, your hands grasping his thighs. Deciding to tease them perhaps a little more than necessary as you went through the number, curling your leg around his and pressing your bodies together so that there was no space between your two questionably clothed bodies.

As the number was brought to a close it was impossible for you to ignore the excitement bubbling up inside of you as you continued your way through the show you kept throwing glances at your boyfriends, always finding their eyes already trained on you. More often than not, on some body part other than your face.

If your boyfriends thought that they had a bit of a problem before that song they were in a terrible predicament now.

Remus caught Sirius on multiple occasions trying to move the hand that he was holding to grope at his crotch as he tried to buck up into his boyfriend’s hand. And much to his own dismay, Remus would pull his hand away, thinking it probably wasn’t the best idea to give his boyfriend a hand job in a crowded theater. Knowing that he wouldn’t have to worry about James touching himself because he would never dream of disobeying him, Remus divided his attention between you on the stage and keeping Sirius in check.

Each of the boys were counting down the seconds until the show came to an end and they could get out of there and relieve some of their tension.  As the curtains were pulled closed they all breathed a sigh of relief before they reopened, leaving all three of them bewildered and slightly annoyed, even more so when they noticed everyone around them standing as they applauded the actors.

Remus forced both of them up when you rushed to the front of the stage, curtsying as the crowd went wild, your boyfriends most notably. As you took your bow you blew a kiss to your boyfriends taking note of the uncomfortable way they all stood, trying to adjust their erections to make them less noticeable while simultaneously applauding you.

As you cleared the stage after curtain call you took your time, doddling towards the dressing rooms where you had left the clothes you’d arrived at the theater in along with a special outfit you’d brought for after the show. Usually you were one of the first actors to clear the theater after a show but tonight you took your time. Hanging up your costume with more care than anyone really should treat any garment with and certainly more than what it needed. 

You smirked mischievously as you pulled the you’d brought outfit from your bag and shimmied it up your legs before slipping the delicate straps up your shoulders. You glimpsed yourself in the mirror, the red satin of the dress clinging to your curves in an attractive manner, short enough to display miles of legs and low cut enough to show off a decent amount of cleavage and perhaps a sighting of the matching red bra you were wearing beneath it.

Slinging the back of your black heels over the heel of your feet you snatched your purse from the armchair in your dressing room before striding out to go meet your boyfriends in the lobby, where you’d told them to wait for you.

Their heads all turned as they heard the clacking of your heels against the tile of the floor, “Boys,” You greeted as they unabashedly took in your new appearance.

As he most often was, Remus was the first one to collect himself, “Puppy, you were wonderful,” He praised, walking to meet you as you approached him, leaning down to smear a kiss against your cheek, “You did amazing up there, so proud of you,” He threw his arm around your waist as you walked towards Sirius and James.

“We got something for you,” He explained, his grip on your waist tightening, “Jamie give it to her, yeah?” 

“Oh yeah,” The smaller boy grinned, remembering the bouquet he held cradled in his arms as he handed it over to you, “Here you go angel.”

“Thank you Jamie,” You said as you took it from him, closing your eyes as you buried your nose in the sweet smelling flora. As you opened your eyes you made eye contact with Sirius, who stood across from you, practically drooling as he took in your appearance without any shame, “They smell wonderful.”

“You okay Si?” You asked, looking up through your eyelashes, batting them innocently.

“Like you don’t know exactly what you did up there to us (Y/N/N),” Remus whispered in your ear, pressing his nose into your temple.

“You guys are the ones who wanted to come,” You lilted, rubbing one of the velvety petals between the pads of your thumb and forefinger.

“Could’ve warned us,” James mumbled, his eyes not leaving your thighs as he licked his lips, if it were anyone else you would’ve been uncomfortable but you couldn’t help but feel flattered whenever any of them ogled you. 

“And what’s with the dress Pup?” Sirius nodded his head appreciatively towards your dress, obviously admiring the way it hung on your body.

“What, you don’t like it?” You asked with fake hurt in your voice, knowing that he more than liked it, he fucking loved it. 

“S’not that,” Remus mumbled, nosing at your jugular, “Just that whole show, got us a little bit worked up. We didn’t expect it to be so sexual Puppy,” He nodded towards James and that’s when you noticed the erection he was still sporting. 

“Got us really worked up, can we go home now?” James asked, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, trying to distract himself from his little problem.

“Jamie,” You whined, smiling wickedly, “I wanted to celebrate, I was thinking we could go eat somewhere, I was thinking maybe Thai food?”

You watched as Sirius ground his teeth, conflicted between needing to get home and not wanting to deny you from what you wanted. 

“Having fun teasing us Bunny?” Remus asked you with a sly smirk, knowing exactly what you were doing.

“M’not teasing,” You insisted, turning indignantly to your other boyfriend.

“Sure you aren’t,” He chuckled, “Thai sounds great (Y/N), wanna talk with you about the show,” The idea of teasing Sirius and James even longer was very appealing to Remus and he was ready to make the sacrifice of being teased himself, knowing that he’d be able to get back at you later that night.

“But-” James began.

“You wanna argue with me Jamie?” Remus challenged, raising a singular eyebrow.

“No,” He moped, “Of course not.”

“Good,” Remus said, nodding his head approvingly, “We wouldn’t wanna deny our Princess would we?”

James shook his head, eyes pleading, desperately seeking Remus’ approval.

“Pads?” Remus challenged, turning his attention to the other raven haired man.

“What? Oh um, of course not,” He agreed distractedly, dragging his eyes from your form to meet Remus’, his reluctance evident in his voice.

“Good,” Remus said pointedly, his eyes cold, daring Sirius to question him. When he didn’t the werewolf continued, “Let’s get going then, there’s a nice little restaurant a couple blocks away yeah?”

As you all hummed your consent you made your way to the exit, “Ten galleons if you can make James cum in his pants at dinner,” Remus whispered in your ear quietly enough so that  James and Sirius trailing behind you wouldn’t be able to hear you, you could hear the smirk in his voice as you exited the theatre.

“Deal.” This was going to be fun, you considered that you might have to invite them to come see the show again.

-pation

tagging: @randomoutsiders @weasleyposts @kittykylax @amourtentiaa @superbturtlemakerathlete

[mxchellesworld]

punk rock princess

spencer reid x reader

synopsis; where spencer’s working on the final paper for his third phd meanwhile you take on the task of making sure he takes a break.

warnings; smut, p in v, unprotected sex, creampie, sub!spence if you squint, nipple piercings;),

a/n; i’m not saying this is my fantasy but .. this is my fantasy,, inspired by this song, y’all know the drill. you don't have to listen while reading but i always love to set the vibe. lastly y/n doesn't have any mentioned features or looks besides piercings/tattoos,, the rest is all up to you:)

pls send in feedback!

***

A shiver crawled down your spine from the first squirt of dye hitting your scalp. The bubblegum pink shade being a change from the firey red which inhabited your head a mere 24 hours prior.

The process was muscle memory at this point. Brushing out your hair then parting and sectioning it off. However that was the only methodical part. The fun was in slapping on the dye, not a single worry about staining your hands or neck.

The sounds of heavy drums and bass guitar bounced off the walls in the bathroom of the small apartment. Even though the door was shut it wasn't enough to stop the sound from flowing into the living room where your boyfriend was working.

Spencer sat at the dining table, flipping through copious amounts of folders and books. His third thesis in the process of being written. The computer screen in front of him looking back with a mocking glow. Since apparently things had to be digital now.

Your feet padding on the wooden floor made him look up from the pages. Humming to the music as you walked into your bedroom. Then back out a few seconds later holding a towel and robe.

A small smile tugged across his face. Ever since you had moved in together he loved to watch your day to day actions. The way you played your music concerningly loud, your skincare routine which included cleaning your facial piercings. What fascinated him the most was that in the 13 months you’d been together he’d seen you dye your hair 7 times.

Not including any touch ups.

He stood from his place at the table, making his way to the bathroom. Two quick rasps on the door to check if you were decent. The action made you giggle.

“Come in!” you called, “I don’t know why you knock weirdo you’ve seen me naked plenty of times.”

A blush spread across his cheeks from both your words and your state of undress. His eyes tried to focus on the splotches of color on the counter, keeping the blood flowing to the head on his shoulders.

But it was hard when the sheer bralette you had on did very little to hide the metal bars in each of your breasts.

“Spence?” you said snapping a fingers in front of him.

He cleared his throat, eyes snapping to your face which held a smirk.

“Are uh those n-new?” he questioned, hand going to scratch the nape of his neck.

The usual silver balls at the end of the bars were now tiny jewell hearts. The color was a little hard to tell due to the material of your bra but from the change in your hair he could almost bet money they were also pink.

With swift hands you unclipped your bra and threw it on the closed toilet seat before turning to face him.

“Got them when I bought the dye yesterday,” you said pushing your boobs up with your hands, “You like?”

Spencer’s eyes were as big as saucers, frantically nodding, “Y-yeah they look nice.”

You dropped your hands to your hips, tugging off the shorts you had on. The wide brown eyes before you couldn’t get any bigger, trailing down your frame stopping to admire the bar in your belly button along with the ink which littered your ribs.

He watched as you got to your knees, turning on the bath faucet. You dipped your head under the water, a stream of pink filling the tub.

The slope of your spine bent over was a sight he'd seen more than enough times. He could pinpoint the beauty marks on your left shoulder, the small sun he sketched which ended up permanently on the back of your neck. But if he let his gaze drift a little further south he could see how deliciously the dark lace looked barley covering up your most intimate parts.

A smack to his calf got his attention.

“Earth to Spencer! Can you hand me the shampoo,” you asked which came out sounding a bit muffled.

He quickly scurried to the tub and reached over to grab the bottle, squeezing a bit of gel onto your open palm.

"I'm gonna go work on my thesis some more," Spencer said slowly shutting the door behind him.

Making his way back to the living room, he pulled a few files and sat down on the couch. Glasses sat on the bridge of his nose and red pen between his teeth and he stared in concentration.

They were the same words he had read over and over again. The lack of sleep causing a dull ache in his skull.

"You need to take a break love," you said walking over and sitting next to Spencer on the couch.

"I did take one," he argued back flipping through the file.

"Gawking at me before I shower for 2 minutes isn't a break," you said with a giggle, the warmth flooding back to his cheeks, "Cmon 25 minutes at least without a file in your hand. "

When he didn't respond you took matters into your own hands. Ripping the file from his grasp, earning a grumble of disapproval before you straddled his hips. Your arms circled his neck and your hands went straight to the back of his scalp, fingertips running in soothing motions.

"Isn't this so much better baby," you asked whispering in his ear.

He nodded quickly, staying silent as he let his actions speak louder. His large palms went right to your plush hips. Bucking up as he led you to grind yourself on his lap.

Letting his hands explore the material of your satin rope he could feel the lack of undergarments on your frame. Spencer dared to let his hands dip under the black fabric and take each one of your cheeks in the palm of your hand with a gentle squeeze.

You could feel his cock stiffening under you. If you looked down you'd probably be able to see a wet spot on his sweats, most likely a mix of your arousals.

Leaning forward you let your lips attack his neck, placing sloppy kisses sure to leave marks. The process of licking and biting making Spencer hold onto you tighter, almost as if he had his very own vampire to mark him up.

Trailing up to his ear you bit on the lobe before whispering, "Tell me what you need baby."

Lust filled brown orbs met your own as you each continued your steady grind.

"Please fuck me," he pleaded.

If only he knew how wrapped around his finger you were. As pretty as he sounded begging you'd give him anything.

You pulled the metal frames off his face, tossing them to the other side of the couch. He had complained one too many times about foggy glasses during sex. No matter how cute you thought he looked.

Your hands slid down his torso and reached to pull down his sweats. His precum soaked length was heavy in your hands. Pretty pink tip leaky and throbbing already. The first few pumps had whiny moans slipping from his lips, red from biting so hard.

"Unwrap me baby, it's all for you," you said tilting your head down, motioning to the strings holding your robe together.

Quickly he let his slender fingers go to the ends, a swift tug and it was like opening a gift on Christmas. Leaning forward he let his lips wrap around one of your nipples. A strangled moan leaving your mouth from the stimulation.

With a raise of your hips you lined his cock with your opening before sliding down. You both sighed at the same time, the feeling of him stretching you out and your warm walls hugging his length was just too good.

Slowly you rocked your hips testing the waters, soft gasps and curses left your lips. You could feel very vein and inch stuffed inside you.

Spencer on the other hand was having an out of body experience, there wasn't an inch of your skin which was left untouched. Unkissed. After you were settled he raised his hips meeting you halfway with each thrust.

"You're doing so well baby," you cooed down at him, "You love when I ride you hm? Best fucking seat in the house."

His eyes shut closed in pleasure as your pace quickened, "Love it so much. So so pretty," he mumbled out.

His arms pulled you close again. Chest to chest as you continued your movements. Your lips met in a lazy kiss, panting in each others mouths when you ran out of air.

You could feel him pulsating inside you. The iron grip he had on your hips as he helped drive you up and down on his cock was sure to feel sore the next day. His shoulders were sure to have corresponding crescent marks from your nails digging in.

"Touch me Spence m'so close love," you said breathlessly.

One of his hands fell down to the space where you both connected. Skilled fingers rubbing your sensitive bundle of nerves in quick circular motions.

Loud moans escaped your lips. Your head fell back to the familiar junction of his neck and shoulder, biting the skin in order to stifle your noises of pleasure.

"Y/n I can't hold it any longer, please cum with me," he whimpered out.

Nodding your head you grabbed onto the back of his neck, "Right behind you baby. Let go for me, I got you."

With a few more upward thrusts you felt him pull you down onto his cock, warmth spreading in your tummy. The feeling of his seed filling you up and his euphoric groans sent you over the edge.

You both rode out your orgasms, swiveling hips and satisfactory sighs of release leaving your lips.

After a few minutes of content silence listening to the music still flowing through the hall you moved to get up, the sticky mess between your thighs less than comfortable.

Warm arms kept you in place, denying your movement.

"Spence I gotta clean up," you said trying to push yourself off his chest.

"If I remember correctly you said at least 25 minutes and from my calculations I have 3 minutes and 38 seconds left of cuddle time," the lanky man under you said matter of factly.

You rolled your eyes, sighing but resting your head back on his shoulder, "If I get a UTI thats 3 minutes and 38 seconds of me playing screamo in your ear at full volume."

With one last squeeze he kissed the side of your head, the scent of ammonia only sightly bothering him, "Worth it."

[azureashes]

Sukuna’s Curse

TW: NONCON, VIOLENCE, BLOOD AND GORE

Summary: Some cruel fate bound you to Sukuna's side. You could not escape. You weren't sure you wanted to.

Sukuna x Reader

Wordcount: 10 K

Rating: Explicit, MINORS DNI

I don’t know if this is even any good at this point owing to the fact that I’m dead tired, BUT I wanted to finish this off, so here it is.

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But this time, something was off. The taste was almost tame in comparison - mild. Even the sensation of swallowing wasn’t quite the same, squishy and slimy instead of roughly scratching his esophagus all the way down. If he hadn’t been so eager to just get it over with the way he always was, to make it as short and painless as possible - he might have noticed something was off. He might have pointed it out to Gojo, to the principal, to anyone before swallowing the ominous, blotchy blue-green scrap of flesh they had given him.

It didn’t taste like one of Sukuna’s fingers.

Yuuji always tried to drop the disgusting, decrepit digit as close to his throat as possible so that he wouldn’t have to taste the bitter, corrosive flavor that burned on his tongue like decaying flesh - but he couldn’t avoid it entirely. There was always a lingering acidic remnant that stayed in his mouth long after he had swallowed one of the curse’s fingers.

He might have spared you your fate.

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He was bored.

It was boring in Itadori Yuuji’s subconscious. The boy was as empty-headed as he seemed and the scheming King of Curses could only look on as the fool fell into one trap after another, made misstep after misstep while he stumbled his way forward, trying to navigate the Jujutsu sorcerer’s life.

It was a cringeworthy affair.

Sukuna had laid his plans carefully and could only drum his fingers on his throne of skulls restlessly as he waited for them to come to fruition. But he was never as dangerous as he was when he was bored. When he had energy to spare and time to kill. When he was on the lookout for some sport, some prey that could satisfy his instinct to hunt, something to toy with, to devour.

When you arrived out of nowhere, coughing your lungs out, on hands and knees in the bloodied water surrounding the area - your limbs shaking as you struggled to support yourself, weak with what must have been centuries of disuse, his eyes glittered with malicious anticipation.

For once, the idiot had done something right.

You coughed and hacked as if seeking to free your body from something it had long grown unaccustomed to - breath. Life. Motion. Thought. Terrible, terrible things.

You recalled your last, conscious thought when faced with an aging, balding monk. The strange man had carried with him a rosary around his neck and attached to the string of beads was what had oddly resembled an ogre’s thumb. You hadn’t the slightest clue what the monk had wanted from you until he sealed you into the ogre’s thumb - an intentional, cruel irony on the buddhist’s part.

“Go to your master, demon!” He had shrieked.

Master.

You squeezed your eyes shut as you shuddered at the very thought. The monk must have thought he was being clever. Sealing you in a fashion resembling the way the King of Curses had been sealed, but Sukuna was not your master.

You had scarcely been freed of the terrifying demon’s presence, barely been able to dream of a life outside of his paralyzing, horrifying shadow that the accursed monk had appeared to seal you away to a slumber of many thousand years.

No matter.You were free now.

By some miracle, the seal had been broken and you would live in a world where Sukuna had been sealed away somewhere far from you. You would stay away from humans and jujutsu sorcerers and society as a whole. Find a deserted scrap of nature, and live out your days among the plants and animals in peace somewhere.

That was a good plan, you told yourself, straining to breathe slowly and deeply, your eyes still pressed shut because seeing anything at all was overwhelming to your senses after their long rest. It would be alright. Your suffering was over.

“Well, well, well.”

The voice sent a shiver down your spine. You would recognize it anywhere. The deep baritone that seemed to make your very bones rattle.

“What do we have here?” Uncomfortably warm breath brushed against the shell of your ear as he spoke on a hiss.

You saw him clearly in your mind’s eye, his image brought into sharp relief, triggered by the sound of his awful voice that sent a flood of unadulterated, gut-wrenching terror through your body. Your body’s reaction to him was one of instinct, a reaction learned.

It was possible to forget one’s love and similarly, to neglect one’s hatred. But one could never forget what one truly feared. Fear was not stored in hearts or minds, but contained in the body itself. In every inch of your skin, every ounce of your flesh. Fear was intermingled with your blood, a part of your very being. Your mind may have slept, and you, a curse, had no need for your superfluous heart - but your body remembered. Your body would always remember.

When you finally dared to turn, the sight that met your eyes was precisely the one your mind had conjured. He sat perched on a mountain of skulls, some fresh and whole, some decayed and crumbling, but you knew they represented only a fraction of the lives the curse had taken. He was draped in a robe that seemed made for royalty, or perhaps it only seemed that way because of the individual they clothed. The King of Curses exuded an aura that was every bit that of the king he was known as. His hair was pale-pink, his eyes narrowed and sharp, the scarlet irises the very shade of the deluge of blood you had seen him spill in your lifetime. Much of it yours.

Black markings traced his form - on his face, his wrists, his arms, just like you remembered, and the sharp, long black nails on his hands made you shiver with the memory of how easily they could draw blood, puncturing through your skin like it was paper.

“S- Sukuna-sama…” Your barely audible whisper, wavering with sheer horror rang in his ears like the sweetest praise. He liked you already.

When he had spoken, it had sounded as if he had been just behind you, and so you were stunned to see him at such a distance. The corners of his lips were curved in a smirk, his sharp canines peeking through as he lounged on his grotesque throne, his head leaning languidly against the knuckles of his right hand. He looked amused.

Amused was good, you thought numbly, trying to reason with yourself through your terror. His amusement manifested itself in some cruel mockery of mercy on occasion. It was his boredom that terrified you. The things he had done to you when bored defied imagination.

You shuddered and your mouth opened and closed wordlessly, incapable of producing sound, incapable of taking breath. The minute you had thought yourself free of him you had been taken captive, and the minute you had been released from your captivity, you were confronted, once again, with your worst nightmare. There seemed to be no escaping for you. You were hounded by the worst fortune the universe had deemed fit to produce.

You were a minor curse, born of the grudge of the inhabitants of a village that had been wiped out by none other than the King of Curses himself. The dying breaths and resentment of those villagers had accumulated with bitter hatred and you came to be. For reasons, you could not fathom - perhaps because the villagers’ grudge was rooted in righteous human indignance - you maintained a form like that of a mortal woman and had scarcely any powers that you knew of. Mortals could hear you cry, you knew. But that was the extent of your abilities, and you had no desire to spend an eternity haunting hapless humans.

By virtue of your birth, you were compelled to seek Sukuna out, desiring revenge, the force of the villagers’ dark emotions driving you forward. But the minute you had come face to face with him, your resolve had abandoned you. Your cursed energy flickered like the flame of a candle in the midst of a hurricane and you knew beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you were out of your depth.

You had sought to escape, but he had seen you. Had begged for forgiveness, but he did not know the meaning of the word. You had screamed for mercy, and he had laughed, asking you to repeat the entreaty - but louder. He had shivered in pleasure at the sound. You would never forget it.

But his eyes now were merely aglow in mirth and anticipation - not recognition. There was a chance, however slim, that he had not recognized you. Indeed, despite tormenting you for centuries, much time seemed to have passed since then, and he had never truly held you in any form of regard even when you had been by his side. You were a thing to him, never a person. Something to relieve the boredom. An unbreakable toy - the very best kind. And as with all things unbreakable, he had tested that claim in every way possible.

“My, my…” he drawled, a chuckle rumbling from his chest. “You recognize me?”

And it was those words, more than anything else, that gave you hope. If he did not remember you, perhaps you could escape. Perhaps you could find freedom. Perhaps you could offer him something worth your release.

You did not even attempt to voice an answer - you were having enough difficulty breathing - and were afraid to provoke recognition. Your eyes darted around the area, taking in your surroundings, but there seemed to be nothing but the watery blood pooled on the ground which you were currently on all fours in - the throne of skulls, and surrounding that, a thick mist veiling whatever lay beyond.

You knew from experience that you could not hope to outrun him, but what other option did you have but to try? What could you possibly do to save yourself?

“Not answering?”A voice murmured in your ear again, “Rude.”

You whirled around to face him with a gasp, sure you would find him hovering just over you and fell to the ground with a splash, drenching your clothes in bloody water.

Panting, your eyes searched for him, but were surprised to find that he was nowhere near you, still reclining on his throne with that same bemused smirk.

You collected yourself as best you could, and turned to face him as you lowered your head in humility, bowing low in the hopes that your hair would hide your face from view. Feed into his ego, you told yourself. That was your only hope. Show him how terrified you were, how great you believed him to be - with any luck, he might just eat it up and let you go.

But when had luck ever been on your side? Not once, from the moment you were born.

“Please accept my apologies,” you choked out in a raspy voice, hoarse from disuse. “Where exists the fool who does not recognize the great King of Curses?” You took a deep breath, and cleared your throat, forcing yourself to go on. “My Lord, please forgive my disrespect, this humble servant dared not speak in your presence.”

You spoke in a low voice, hoping to disguise it as much as possible.

“Oh?” there was an echo of ominous amusement in the single syllable that did not bode well for you.

“I meant not to intrude, Great King. Please,” your forehead hovered just above the water as your palms met in front of you, your arms trembled too violently to truly carry your weight. “Please allow me to leave.”

A sinister chuckle fell from his lips. “You would like that, wouldn’t you?”

“Please,” you repeated in a tremulous voice, unable to utter anything but the simple word.

He hummed in mirth, your desperate plea little more than a joke to him. “Asking me for mercy, you must not know me as well as you had me believe.”

When you refused to answer, he smirked at your quivering form, “Do you know where you are right now?”

Hesitantly, you slowly raised your head to take in your surroundings again. You’ve never been in a place like this. Was it some kind of innate domain?

A sensation swept over you, little more than a whiff of air, and suddenly your gaze fell on a pair of black Tabi clad feet in Zori sandals. Before you could move, protest, or even think you felt the weight of the rough, thick sole of one of the sandals on the back of your head.

You should have known better than to cry out, after everything you had been through. Your instinct should have told you to hold your breath rather than waste it on a scream and so, you could only curse yourself for a fool when your sharp cry was cut off on the gurgling sound of your face being pressed into the shallow, sanguine water you knelt in. You pressed your mouth shut, panic seizing your limbs as you thrashed and sought to free yourself. The more you struggled, the more weight Sukuna placed on the back of your head, leaning forward now, one forearm draped across his knee as he chuckled at your plight.

“I warned you once already,” he spoke over the splashing sounds of your struggles. “That it is rude not to answer when spoken to.” He watched your desperate flailing with an aloof air.

“Having fun?” He teased, watching your movements slow, your limbs growing still as your consciousness started to fade. “Now, now… giving up already? Don’t be such a poor sport.”

He stepped back, freeing you, but you lacked the strength to lift your head. He tutted in disapproval and, nudging your shoulder with a toe of sandal, flipped you over with enough force to send your body flying several feet.

You coughed and sputtered for air, lifting yourself into a seated position with trembling arms.

It was beginning. He didn’t care what you had to say, or what you felt. He only wanted to amuse himself, and he knew no limits in doing so.

Slow footsteps approached and the very heart in your chest froze over with fear. You clenched your eyes shut like a bird of prey in the face of the most fearsome predator.

He knelt down in front of you, peering into your face and you stared more determinedly at the ground, letting your hair veil your features. “Well,” he sneered. “Don’t be boring.”

You lifted your gaze despite yourself, that phrase could not mean anything good for you.

“Run.”

The command served simultaneously as permission, and you staggered to your feet as you stumbled away from him - seeking distance from the most terrifying being you had ever known. Millennia at his side would not suffice for you to grasp the extent of his depravity, the limits of the lengths he would be willing to go to torment you.

The sound of your footsteps splashing through the water echoed throughout the realm as you raced away from him, hoping, praying that you would be allowed to escape - that you could somehow, just once - live a day away from Sukuna. Just one day where you didn’t need to guard each breath like a dragon guarded his treasure.

You slipped past the thick mist, refusing to allow yourself to feel trepidation in the face of the unknown, running faster and faster until the fog passed by in a blur but you only pushed yourself even harder to escape - each step was a step further away from Sukuna, a step towards security. Although you could not hear him in pursuit, that fact gave you no peace - he could be as silent and sure-footed as a panther when he so desired.

When you felt the mist thin, some small relief tingled in the back of your head. Maybe, by some miracle, he would allow you to escape? Perhaps he was bored of you and your presence. Perhaps he wanted to be on his own. It wasn’t unthinkable, was it? Freedom beckoned.

You crashed into a tall, solid figure and nearly lost your footing. You looked up in horror, to find Sukuna grinning down at you, arms crossed over his chest. Beside him, the throne of skulls, and surrounding the two of you - the same crimson water. You raised a hand to your mouth to stifle a sob. This couldn’t be happening.

You forced yourself to your feet and turned on your heel to race back into the mist but this time, you didn’t get far. Sukuna caught you by the hair, jerking your head backwards. You cried out in alarm, but he only smirked in response, pulling your head further back.

“You had your chance, little one, but you ran right back into my arms,” he chuckled. “Guess this is where you want to be, hm?”

You sputtered protests, denials, on a thin, desperate wail, tears pooled in your eyes and streamed down your face as he jerked your head further back, bringing your gaze to his own.

He seemed taken aback, for a fraction of an instant, as his eyes widened.

“ You .” The single syllable was spoken in accusation, recognition - and surprise.

He released his hold on your hair and stepped back with a laugh. He pressed a hand to his forehead and shook his head, amused beyond measure. He waved a hand at you.

“You wanted to run? Go ahead. Run.”

Unable to understand why recognizing you had prompted such an unprecedented act of mercy, you wasted not another moment and dashed back into the mist - only to step back into the clearing moments later. You turned back into the fog again - and again and again, but no matter how many times you ran from the clearing, every path led right back to Sukuna’s side. Each time you stepped back into the clearing, Sukuna smirked at you, waiting patiently.

By the fifth time you stepped into the clearing you pressed your hands to your temples and sank to your knees with a scream. There was no way out.

Sukuna stalked towards you and you made no attempt to evade when he reached out and cupped your chin, lifting your eyes towards his own blood-red irises, a grin on his lips as his eyes traced your features. Sobs trembled from your lips as tears streamed from your eyes, streaking down your cheeks, dripping from his fingers and falling to the scarlet waters below.

“Now, there’s a familiar face,” he crooned. “You sure have some sorry luck. But you’re the one who came to me first, wasn’t it?”

“The village -” you stammered. “It was the villagers - I didn’t - I wouldn’t -”

“ Didn’t, wouldn’t ,” he mocked. “Breathe deep now, nice and slow, let’s hear your pathetic excuses, shall we?”

You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to stem the tears, struggling to regulate your breathing, before you mumbled, “The villagers’ resentment sent me, I would have never dared. Sukuna-sama, you know I would never have dared stand before you.”

“Village?” he scraped one long, black fingernail down the side of your face. “What village?”

He didn’t remember. Of course he didn’t. That village he had ruined - only one of many to him, apparently - would scarcely register in his mind.

“Forgive me,” you voiced instead in a hushed whisper. “I did not intend any disrespect.”

“No,” he smirked in agreement, and there was something ruthless and cutting in the expression. “And yet you ended up here again. There has to be something to it, no? Isn’t that what they call ‘fate’?”

It was. That was precisely what they would call it. The cruelest fate there was.

His lips curved further into a sneer, his sharp canines glimmering in the dim light, as his eyes lit up with a diabolical expression. “It was you, wasn’t it? You were the one who betrayed me. The reason I was sealed.”

Horror flooded through you. A Sukuna who wanted to amuse himself with you was terrifying, but a Sukuna who wanted to punish you, to get revenge on you, would be worse than hell itself. You couldn’t allow him to believe it!

“Sukuna-sama!” You clung to his arm, meeting his gaze imploringly. “I would never betray you! Please, I - !” You could make any number of wild claims - you could claim to be loyal to him, you could claim to love him, you could claim to respect him - but only one claim would actually soothe his nerves and please him, that much, at least, you knew.

“I fear you far too much to ever betray you!”

“Is that so?” he drew back, and kicked one of the skulls lying beside him into the air and caught it smoothly in one hand, his long, black nails contrasting against the pale grey of the animal skull. Breaking off one of the animal’s horns, he turned it in his fingers thoughtfully, as if considering it from all angles, before that crimson gaze turned back to pierce right through you.

“Prove it.” He tossed the sharp horn towards you and you caught it unthinkingly.

“Gouge out your eye, and I’ll believe you weren’t the one who sold me out.”

“My - my eye?” You blinked at him, praying he wasn’t serious - but you knew better. He leaned against the tower of skulls and crossed his arms, bored.

You stared at the horn in horror. How could you gouge out your own eye? You felt those familiar tremors afflicting your hand and you reached up with a second hand to better steady yourself.

“Is that too much for you?” He crossed over towards you and trailed one sharp fingernail lazily down your throat, before flitting over your collarbones. His finger slipped between the folds of your robe before resting just above your heart. Sukuna pressed against the skin there and a dribble of blood leaked down your chest as a sharp fingernail broke through the skin.

“Pierce your heart, then. Punish the lying organ and I’ll be satisfied.”

Your lip trembled in horror. Take out your eye, suffer immense pain, and live - or pierce your heart and die?

“Well, what’ll it be?”

You lifted the curved horn in your hand and trailed the pad of your thumb over the ridges of the bone. Testing the tip, you noted with some small relief that it was fairly sharp. Living meant living through more of Sukuna’s torture. Dying was clearly the better option.

You bit your lip and squeezed your eyes shut, gripping the horn firmly in your fist, ignoring the way your hand trembled. There were worse things Sukuna could do to you. There were always worse things he could do.

You lifted your hand high into the air and refused to acknowledge the way your entire arm quivered violently. If you lost your nerve, and didn’t pierce deeply enough the first time - would you have to do it again? It was better to have to do it just the once - who knew if you could collect yourself enough for a second attempt?

That meant using all of your strength. Even as you worked through your thoughts, battling your mind’s instinct of self-preservation, your arm remained in the air for what felt like hours as you struggled to build up the nerve to do what he had asked.

“Don’t keep me waiting,” Sukuna yawned, lifting a hand to his mouth. “Or would you rather just confess and accept punishment instead?”

You would not. Whatever he had in store for you, it was surely worse than what you were being ordered to do. Your hand plunged downwards and the tip of the horn pierced through skin and flesh, before being deflected by your bones. You screamed in agony as the horn fell from your grip and blood gushed from your wound.

Your ribs. Your ribs had been in the way. And now you would have to do it all over again.

You pressed both hands to the wound in an attempt to stem the blood as a pained, undying scream pierced through the air, seemingly endlessly. Sukuna winced as he cleared his ear with an index finger as if blocking out the annoying noise.

“Well, don’t give up.” He gestured to the horn poking out of the water. “You almost made it. Come on, you can do it.”

You stared at him in horror, blood still gushing forth between your fingers. Even as your mind obediently worked out how to continue. Now that you knew where your ribs were, it would only be one further attempt, slightly above the bone, and this ordeal would be behind you.

Just one more time.

Once more, and he would see you as a toy again, possibly, but no longer an enemy. Once again. Clenching your teeth against the pain, you reached with trembling fingers for the horn, blood streaming forth more fervently as you bent down.

You did not allow yourself time to think or hesitate, knowing you would lose your nerve if you did. Shutting off your mind, you pierced the horn straight into your own heart and blinding, mind-shattering pain burst through your body. Blood dripped from your lips as you stumbled backwards, lost your footing and collapsed into the water.

There was a buzzing in your ears associated with your fading consciousness as blood gushed out of the wound with every beat of your heart, interrupted only by shrill laughter. Blinking through the blurry haze, you saw Sukuna doubled over with laughter, nearly in hysterics.

“You actually did it! You idiot!” His shoulders shook with mirth, and he wiped a tear from his eye. “Did you seriously think you could ever be important enough to betray me? Do you honestly think anything you could do could result in me being sealed? Are you a simpleton?”

He cackled endlessly, his cold, shrill laughter ringing in your ears as you bled out. “What a fool…” he chuckled, crossing over to you. “What do you think you are? Entertaining illusions of self-importance.”

He was still laughing, even as he reached down to cup your face, squeezing your cheeks and turning your face from side to side. “What an idiot,” he snickered.

You were going so numb, you couldn’t even feel his fingers on your face, and his cruel expression was fading from view. Maybe you were an idiot, but at least now you would finally be dead. Dead and free of him. That wasn’t so bad, you thought to yourself. It was the first and last kindness he had ever done for you.

His face was blurring in and out of your vision, and you were waiting for the moment it would settle to black. The moment you would never have to see his face again, but the blurriness receded and his face reappeared in startling clarity. This was wrong, it was all wrong. Why were you seeing him? Even in death? Was there a hell after all, and had you gone to it?

You slowly grew conscious of Sukuna’s hand on your chest and his cursed energy flooding into you, sealing the wound you had gouged open, closing the flesh you had stabbed apart, healing the organ that refused to let you die.

“No,” you sobbed. “No, no, no, please…” You lifted weary hands to your face and wept miserably, your shoulders shaking. “Please, just let me die.”

Sukuna tutted in response, “Where’s the fun in that? Don’t disappoint me now, you were doing so well.”

You were alive again. Your body healed. Only your mind was still addled by the pain you had forced it through. You blinked up at Sukuna and couldn’t find the strength to bring yourself to move.

He cocked his head to the side as he observed you. “What should I do with you?” His smirk was slow and salacious. “I think you’ve earned yourself a reward.” Another low chuckle rumbled from his chest.

You couldn’t find words to answer him as he tugged at the silk belt holding your robes closed until the layers of fabric loosened and fell apart. His eyes roamed down your chest, over the swell of your breasts, the dip of your navel, he traced one sharp, long fingernail along your ribs. “It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” He muttered, “Have you been keeping yourself for me?”

You didn’t know why the unspoken implication, the assumption that you might have intimately known anyone at all other than Sukuna in the duration of your miserable existence made your skin crawl. You swallowed thickly. “I was sealed,” you stammered in response. “Same as you.”

He snorted at that. “You really do have the worst luck. I almost feel bad for you.”

He trailed a single finger up your breast, grazing past the nipple in a mockery of a caress. “Then again, you could think you were made for me. Born from that stupid village’s grudge. Being sealed away with me and finally waking up, only to come right back to my side. You’re my plaything aren’t you?”

You whimpered in response. Not wanting to confirm his statement and make him even more reluctant to ever release you, but also not wanting to deny it and provoke punishment. “You remember the village?” You asked breathlessly instead, staring numbly up at the gargantuan ribcage spread out as some kind of makeshift ceiling. His earlier behavior had given you the impression he had forgotten entirely. Or maybe it had simply taken him some time to recall when your twisted relationship had begun.

“Of course I do,” he sneered. “I remember everyone I’ve killed. It’s only normal to cling to good memories.”

Your eyes slipped towards him. Was that true? Was that really how he felt? You felt foolish even doubting it. After everything that had happened to you, nothing should surprise you anymore.

You felt a hand close around your throat and lift you up into the air. You were too weak to resist, and not foolish enough to attempt it. You could only watch him from beneath a veil of thick lashes as he tugged your robes from your shoulders, allowing them to fall to the ground and soak up the bloodied water.

You shuddered in his grip. There was nothing you could do but allow him to have his way with you. If you were quiet enough, pliant enough, perhaps there was a chance you could avoid the worst of the pain you knew he liked to inflict.

His gaze was no longer on your tormented expression as you gasped for air, but devouring every inch of flesh exposed to his seeking gaze. It had been centuries since he had last seen you. Before he had been sealed, he had made no bones about taking what he wanted from whoever he wanted, but there had always been something peculiar about you.

Was it the fear in your eyes that never seemed to diminish no matter how many times he took you? Was it the submissive way you gave yourself up to him, hoping for mercy although you should have known him well enough to know that he scoffed at the very idea? Or was it something else entirely? Was it the familiarity? Mortal women could only take so much before the life went out of them. He never returned to them, he wouldn’t have even if that had been an option. Even if there had been something left of their mangled bodies to fuck. Why return to something old and used when there was always new, live prey on the horizon? Dead women didn’t scream, dead women weren’t afraid.

But you.

You never feared him any less, no matter how long he had held you prisoner. Your screams never died out. He could push you farther than he had ever pushed anyone else and not only would you not die, but you would only submit to him ever more determinedly. As if that had ever done you any good before.

Home was a foolish, mortal concept, he could never understand the appeal of, but as his claws traced along your flesh, inadvertently drawing blood wherever he was careless, he had to admit that there was something intoxicating about the return to the familiar. About reclaiming a body that he knew well. A body, he noted with dim satisfaction, that had never known anyone’s touch but his own.

You might be nothing more than a plaything for his amusement, but you were his all the same. He really ought to reward Itadori for so thoroughly alleviating his boredom.

Despite how willing you had been to die only moments earlier, you weakly raised a hand to his forearm, resting it there in a desperate, wordless plea for breath.

He glanced briefly at your tear-filled eyes, your rosy lips parted for air that would not come, and your reddening complexion - before ignoring you entirely and continuing his exploration of your body. Two hands pried his own robes open as a third came up to fondle your breast, pinching the nipple cruelly between his fingers, causing a pained squeak to leave your lips with what little air you could manage.

Your eyes rolled back in your head and Sukuna sighed, “Air is such a ridiculous thing to depend on.” He licked upwards against your nipple and noted how you shuddered in his grip, before going limp. “Hey. Hang on a little longer. Aren’t you supposed to be a curse?”

Curse or no, you were losing consciousness and that would not do. It just wasn’t the same when you weren’t begging him to stop and screaming when he refused to listen. Clawing to get away from him, and shuddering violently when you orgasmed against your will. No, he could not have you unconscious.

Reluctantly, he released your throat and caught you by the waist when you slumped forward, your chin resting on his shoulder despite yourself. It was a mockery of affection. It looked almost romantic, if one did not consider the circumstances.

“Oi,” he chided you. “Isn’t this just cute?”

He trailed a black talon up your spine and you shuddered against him. You knew it was utter stupidity and probably disrespect to lean on him this way, but you were having difficulty collecting yourself. After your near death experience and the oxygen deprivation, your limbs tingled as sensation slowly returned. You only needed to pull yourself together and apologize. That was all. Just as soon as you found the strength to.

But his body was so warm and solid. So firm. When he wasn’t hurting you, you were reminded of the fact that his presence was the only constant you had ever known. Wasn’t he almost like your home at this point? His touch filled you with trepidation, made you tremble violently, made your heart riot fitfully in your chest in fear of the pain that would doubtless follow and yet - for that split second before the pain began… wasn’t there something almost comforting about his touch? You wished there was a way to prolong the interim. The fleeting moment between being deprived of his touch and being impaled by it. That fleeting instant was almost pleasant.

He guided your thighs around his waist and you crossed your legs around him obediently, fearful of what he might do to you if you failed to comply. The memory of being impaled to a wall so he might more easily have his way with you was still fresh in your mind.

His hand dug into your hair and jerked your head brutally backwards, looking down on you through narrowed, mischievous eyes. The other pair of eyes was shut, dormant on his cheekbones. You caught your breath, fearful of what would follow. He had said he wanted to reward you, but there was never a clear distinction between reward and punishment with Sukuna.

“You aren’t going soft on me now, are you? I’m expecting a lot from you.” His low murmur made you shudder involuntarily as his warm breath caressed your face. He leaned in closer, his lips hovering just by your ear. “Don’t disappoint me.”

You gasped as you felt something warm and wet against your womanhood, only realizing in that moment that, in the way you were clinging to him, your most intimate area was pushed up against his stomach shamelessly. In horror, you dropped your gaze to find a horizontal slit had opened across his abdomen and that a large tongue, dripping with saliva had appeared and was probing your nether regions, pushing urgently past your lips to explore you thoroughly.

Sukuna observed your reactions with amusement as the tongue prodded harshly against your clit and journeyed up and down in its explorations before poking past the tight ring of muscle at your entrance. You clung more tightly to Sukuna’s neck as the impossibly thick tongue lapped at your inner walls, eager and insistent, thrusting further in than you would have thought possible. With more vehemence than you could remember.

“Surprised?” Sukuna chuckled. “My, aren’t you forgetful.”

You bit your lip to keep from crying out in pleasure as the tongue wriggled its way further inside of you, poking at your cervix. You could not hope to distance yourself from it without falling and you were certain that would provoke Sukuna’s displeasure, so you held onto him desperately and allowed yourself to be molested by his tongue, biting your lip as you held out until it bled.

Sukuna’s hands roamed your body all the while, your lust-dazed mind could barely follow along, barely registering where he touched you as the coil of heat tightened within your body with every insistent thrust of his tongue. Sukuna lifted your chin and licked away the blood collecting on your lower lip. Your irises were blown wide with lust as you clung to his shoulders, and he trailed his thumb over your lip.

“If you hold back your voice,” he chastised in a voice that was both threatening and seductive - like thick, black poison. “I’ll have no choice but to make you scream.” A lone, sharp black fingernail trailed down the nape of your neck, breaking the surface of your skin ever so slightly. A clear warning.

“Sukuna-sama…” you mewled, both in complaint and in surrender.

His hands toyed with your breasts, long nails scraping over your areolae. One hand rolled a pert nipple between his fingers with deceptive gentleness, before pinching it mercilessly, painfully. A mouth had appeared on his other hand and sucked harshly on your breast, not letting up in the slightest until you feared he would break the skin and leave you bleeding. The other two hands squeezed your buttocks as you writhed against him in response to his ministrations. His grip was bruising and cruel, you could feel blood pool and trickle down your skin where his claws had pierced your flesh.

You moaned out his name repeatedly, not daring to fall silent for fear of the consequences it could bring as the tongue within you curled upwards, roughly stroking a spongy patch of flesh within you that made you lightheaded, each movement of the thick, wet muscle straining your inner walls. The heat pulsing through your body intensified by the second, driving you higher and higher until you crashed and fell, his name leaving your lips in a breathless cry. Your inner walls convulsed and spasmed around the tongue still burrowed deep within you.

“Hurrying on ahead on your own, are you?” Sukuna accused, but he didn’t seem displeased. At least, you hoped he wasn’t.

You had not sufficiently descended from your high to be fully conscious of your surroundings, still clinging weakly to Sukuna’s neck when he took hold of your hips and pulled you away from himself, you felt his thick tongue slip out from between your legs and inhaled sharply at the loss of contact. Before you could so much as think, however, Sukuna tossed you bodily backwards, causing you to land roughly on the tower of animal skulls.

You cried out in pain as the many horns poked and pierced you in various places, you couldn’t even number your injuries, so scattered was your mind. Sukuna cocked his head to the side and watched your blood drip out over the pale bones and admired the contrast.

You held still, like a rabbit in the face of a lion, as he stalked closer with all the grace of an experienced predator. “Why is your blood this way?” he mused, watching it streak down your skin in rivulets.

“Pretty.”

You gaped at him. You felt warm and lightheaded at the compliment. It was your blood, you reminded yourself. Not you. Your blood that he found pretty. How out of your mind must you be, to be so foolishly flattered by that statement. But you were. There was no denying it. It dulled the pain, to know he was enjoying the sight.

He let his robes fall to the floor as he approached you further still. Your eyes trailed down his form, before stopping with horror at the girth between his legs. How could you have forgotten that ? He was larger than you, stronger than you, faster than you - you had never had a chance of escaping him in the past. You shuddered as you recalled the first time he had impaled you - no other word did the act justice - you recalled how you had bled, your flesh torn from the intrusion. A similar horror caused you to whimper in fear now, unable to tear your eyes away as he stroked his thick cock confidently, not even his large hands able to completely close around its thickness. Nudging your ankle with the toe of his sandal, he nodded at you. “Spread your legs for me.”

You should have complied. You knew it. It would have made everything easier if he didn’t need to be rough with you. If he didn’t punish you. But the fear of having something so huge shoved between your legs, of tearing you up again the way you had multiple times in the past, you couldn’t help but squirm, squeezing your thighs together as your mouth went dry and your lips parted, seeking words that might invoke mercy.

“Sukuna-sama, please, I…” but you didn’t know what else to say and so you gazed up at him, your eyes filling with tears, as you struggled to speak around the choked sobs threatening to tear free from your throat.

Sukuna smirked, but his eyes flashed dangerously. “Look around you,” he instructed. “What is keeping you from becoming one of them?”

You turned your head to the side obediently, your gaze skimming over countless skulls, some animal, some human, but most of the skulls merely remnants from other curses.

“You amuse me,” Sukuna drawled, towering over you. “That is all you have to your name.”

The implication was clear, that he would not hesitate to tear your head from your body and add your skull to his collection the moment you ceased to be amusing.

You swallowed thickly and forced yourself to separate your trembling thighs. To make yourself available to him. Your hands gripping at anything to better steady yourself, you were horrified to find a smooth skull beneath your seeking palms but held on anyway.

Two hands gripped your inner thighs and shoved them apart roughly, causing you to cry out in surprise and discomfort. With a sneer, Sukuna descended upon you, a third hand closing around your throat and applying controlled pressure. Judging by the fact that you could still breathe, you knew he was holding back, and as you met his ruthlessly gleaming eyes, you understood the game he would be playing. Air would be the reward, and whether or not you were permitted to breathe, would depend on how well you did.

As he applied more pressure to your throat you forced your legs wider, desperate to appear compliant, and the hand on your throat loosened.

“Clever little thing,” Sukuna purred, and the praise swept through your veins like liquid honey.

The last of his free hands found its way between your thighs and you held your breath in fear that one of those sharp claws would tear open your skin. When he toyed with your bundle of nerves, you wanted to scream in terror, knowing how badly he could hurt you with a twitch of his fingers and how little he would think of it. You squeezed your eyes shut, not wanting him to continue, not wanting him to stop.

Sukuna drank in every one of your expressions greedily. Whether your eyes were unfocused with lust, or wide with terror, each emotion of yours was equally satiating to him. If he was more partial to your fear that did not mean he could not appreciate his own skill in driving you to pleasure despite your open terror.

When his long, thick fingers pushed past your entrance, you sucked in a cold breath. Forgetting yourself, you breathed his name on a reverent exhale that was almost worship. He did not slow, or pause, preparing your body for him with an almost methodic rhythm. But if your eyes hadn’t been squeezed shut in that moment, you would have spied the confusion flitting briefly through his crimson irises. Would have seen the curious way he regarded you.

He positioned himself at your entrance and you felt his member prodding your core. The haze of lust cleared instantly, giving way to blind terror. There was no way he would fit. Regardless of the fact that he had, many times before. Forgetting yourself, cold dread settled in your stomach and you scrambled backwards, trying to inch away from him as you shook your head.

Sukuna’s gaze lifted to yours and his eyes narrowed in displeasure. Two hands gripped your thighs more firmly, as the pressure of a third hand intensified on your neck in a cruel reminder of how fully you were at his mercy. But fear had overcome your mind and you could not talk yourself down.

“No, no, no, no…” you whimpered pitifully. “Please, please don’t - “

Before you could speak another word, Sukuna ruthlessly pulled on your thighs, bringing your entire body towards him and impaling you on his member without warning. A shrill scream echoed through the realm as a painful fullness, the feeling of your walls being forced to stretch wider than should be physically possible overwhelmed your body.

“Stop! Stop, please, I’m going to -”

But there was no stopping, nor had he ever intended to. If anything, your pained cries only spurred him on. You realized suddenly that his hold on your neck had not tightened, and that the only reason for that could be because he enjoyed your screaming, because he liked you begging. That he liked it almost as much as he relished denying you the mercy you wept for.

The realization set you to tears and you held onto his thick wrist as thrust into you, your whole body sinking deeper into the mountain of skulls with each thrust until you feared you would be buried alive.

“Sukuna-sama…” you sobbed, knowing your cries were falling on deaf ears.

He hummed in approval, and ran a hand through his hair as he smirked at you. “Go on, don’t stop. Let it all out.”

And your fears were confirmed. He got off on your screams. He got off on your pain. You had always known it, but your long sleep must have dulled your senses. You wept incessantly, wiping at your tears as he continued pounding into you, for all his efforts, still only halfway there. You were sure he was going to split you in two. Sure you would not survive this. You could feel your lining stretched thin and pulsing against him in protest. This could not end well. As much as you told yourself you had survived this, many times before, you could not help but feel that the stretch was unbearable, unreal - impossible.

Sukuna’s grip on your thighs provided the leverage needed to reach the depth he sought, as he wondered how many more whimpers and confused moans he could tear from you. He wondered if he could make you cry enough to wash the blood from the skulls beneath you. He pulled you in towards himself as he thrust into you again and again and again. Almost there. So close.

As he yanked on your thighs brutally once more, a distinct, sickening popping sound met your ears along with a blinding, searing pain that raced through your hip.

Your eyes shot wide open as a shrill, agonized scream burst from your throat. Even Sukuna paused in his relentless abuse of your core and that fact - more than anything else - terrified you.

Shaking with dread you looked down, only to find your left leg hanging uselessly from your side. You looked up at Sukuna in horror, as if asking him what to do, but he did not meet your eyes, staring curiously at your leg instead. He poked at your leg and it shifted lifelessly at his touch, causing a branding pain to shoot through you anew. You bit your lip and stifled an agonized shriek of pain.

“Sukuna-sama…” you pleaded miserably, sweat beading on your forehead.

He shoved lightly at your leg again, jostling it somewhat harder than the first time and a shriek of pain exploded from you as you pressed a hand to your mouth, groaning in agony.

Now his gaze did lift towards you as a slow smirk spread across his lips.

“P- please,” you begged, your eyes lifted towards his imploringly. “Please, help me.”

“Mmm,” he mused, and you could almost see the gears turning in his head as he continued where he had left off, although at a slower pace. “One thing at a time, sweetheart.”

Your mind was already fuzzy from the immense, unbearable pain coursing through your body. The term of endearment only addled your senses further. Sweetheart? It was your pain, you assumed. Every new height of pain you endured for his sake, the fonder he seemed to grow of you. You glanced down at your useless leg again. You gritted your teeth. You could take it.

“Hang in there,” he teased, pushing slowly but firmly into you, the movement causing fresh agony to course through you. He hovered over you, bringing his lips close to your ear, he angled his head towards you and took your earlobe gently between his teeth. The touch was so tame and affectionate it sent shivers down your spine. You almost couldn’t believe it was Sukuna’s mouth on your ear. Your earlobe slipped from his teeth as he parted his lips to whisper words of encouragement. “ Ganbare, ganbare. ” He murmured into your ear as he pushed further into your core.

You bit your lip, sweat trailing down your face, and searched his eyes questioningly. The message was clear - take him, take the pain, and he would reward you. He would be proud of you. That alone could be worth it, if he would look at you with pride and admiration, the high of receiving his acknowledgement would be worth it all, wouldn’t it?

You nodded.

His eyes lit up with glee, his grin widening even further, as a low chuckle rumbled from his chest. Where would he ever find someone else like you? Willing to take whatever he threw at you? With the sweetest screams he had ever heard, whimpering his name like a kicked puppy? You wouldn’t know what to do with yourself without him. It was a good thing you had found your way back to him. This was how it was meant to be. You would be lost out there on your own. Probably get yourself killed in the blink of an eye by some more powerful curses or some fumbling Jujutsu sorcerers. No, the best place for you to be was right by his side.

Sure, he might break you sometimes, but he would always be sure to put you back together again after. Could the same be said for anyone else? Surely not. After all, you were made for him. Everything about your existence revolved around him. Maybe that was why he tolerated your presence, allowed your existence.

He hammered into you with abandon now, two cruel hands all but crushing your breasts in his merciless grip, as a third squeezed your windpipe allowing you only enough air to cry out in agony, as the fourth hand held your right hip in place - some small mercy to minimize the pain in your left leg - as he rammed into you.

You groaned in pain, gritting your teeth and struggling to hold back the pained cries as your walls slowly, finally, began adjusting to him. The searing pain in your leg rattled your senses, but the pleasure now beginning to course through your veins befuddled your mind until you didn’t know what was what. You couldn’t truly tell the pleasure from the pain - both were blindingly intense, both were driving you out of your mind.

Sukuna’s rhythm intensified, faster, harder, more deranged as he seemed to want to pound right through you and you were certain you would lose consciousness from the dizzying combination of terrible sensation as you heard the sickening sound of skulls tumbling from the towering pile and falling to the waters below as he drove you deeper and deeper into the mountain of bone until your view was obscured by the many skulls that had fallen over you - burying you alive, just as you had feared they would.

The fear, the pain, the pleasure of Sukuna within you, the coiling spiral of heat that only intensified with each thrust, the knowledge of how close he was to you. How the King of Curses relished tormenting you, how he tested you, how special you were to him, in your own way, was a dizzying concoction of delirious euphoria that cast you over the edge of ecstasy, despite yourself, just as Sukuna’s pace stuttered, having reached his climax himself, spilling masses of thick, hot liquid deep inside of you. You felt full, sated, on some cloud far removed from the unending pain and the constant threat of death.

You struggled to catch your breath, to orientate yourself, completely forgetting why you could not see. You felt sharp, long fingernails graze past your hip and a jolt of pain passed through you as the bone settled back into place and the surrounding flesh slowly healed, causing your pain to fade into nothingness. Sukuna’s fingers lingered, tracing lazy circles on your hip, sending his cursed energy into your body long after your injury was fully healed.

At length, he drew back, taking hold of your hand and pulling you out of the pile of bone you had found yourself trapped under. You fell against his chest and he stroked your hair behind your ear, murmuring sweet nothings into your ear that were so uncharacteristic you could scarcely believe what you were hearing.

“Good girl,” he whispered, his nails trailing along your scalp, digging through your hair. His lips met your jawline, trailing hot, bruising kisses along your flesh. Your whole body trembled at the affection you were so utterly ill-prepared for, so wholly unaccustomed to. “You’ve been such a good girl, haven’t you?”

You did not know what to think, or what to say. In that moment, escape was the farthest thing from your mind. You wished he would go on holding you that way, stroking your hair, running a hand up and down your back as he whispered praise into your ear that made you want to melt into a puddle.

Leave Sukuna? Never. Why would you want to?

He didn’t stop. His lips found all your weaknesses as he held you up. Two strong arms, supporting your weight while the other two roamed your body, clearly intent on rewarding you, for once, and not seeking his own pleasure. You felt as if you were a guest in your own body, so foreign was the experience. His seeking mouth on your body, leaving dark bruises everywhere it lingered, a second mouth smirking open on the hand he had pressed between your legs. A third hand massaging the nape of your neck.

You were putty in his hands. You had never known that Sukuna was capable of providing such pleasure. You trembled from head to toe as your mind dimly registered a disconcerting thought. What could you possibly do to earn this reward again? What wouldn’t you do to earn this reward again?

He pulled one orgasm after another from you, not waiting for you to come down from the peak of ecstasy before continuing with his ministrations sending you tumbling headfirst into another. It was a different kind of torture, but one you couldn’t bring yourself to resent in the slightest.

When he entered you again, patiently, slowly, allowing you to adjust to him bit by bit, you were stunned to find that Sukuna was even capable of taking you in this fashion. It wasn’t his style, you realized. It was simply a courtesy to you, for having taken the pain so well.

The words good girl rained down repeatedly on your ears until you almost believed them, until you realized that, after this, you would do anything to hear them again.

He took you again and again, until you went limp in his arms, prompting a chuckle from his lips. Something about your complete submission had touched him in an uncharacteristic way. And his desire to reward you, well… Sukuna was one who did as he pleased. And if he wanted to be gentle with you for once, why shouldn’t he? The two of you hadn’t seen each other in quite some time, but now that he thought about it, it was a good thing you had been released into his Domain. You belonged with him, clearly. His unbreakable toy. His good girl.

Slowly but surely, he was coming back to his full strength, and when he broke out of here, he would keep you by his side. He wouldn’t limit himself to you, goodness no, but he would keep the others away from you, and allow you to be close to him, the way he did not allow anyone else to be. Because you would go to lengths for him that others would balk at. And who would he be if he did not reward such loyalty?

He stroked your cheek with one long, sharp black finger as he observed your sleeping features with an aloof, thoughtful expression. There was something about you he couldn’t place. A sensation you awakened within him that he did not recognize. He wondered, briefly, if it posed a danger to him, before shaking his head and deciding no, someone as weak as you could never be dangerous for him.

It never occurred to him that he had missed you.

When you awoke at last, Sukuna was once again draped in that white robe, a black shawl wrapped around his neck. He leaned back in his throne, his chin resting against the knuckles of his right hand. You were draped across his lap, fully naked, as his left hand toyed with your hair. He did not seem to acknowledge or even notice your presence as he argued with someone you could not see.

The low, dangerous hum of his voice as he spoke deadly threats you knew he had every intention of carrying out, sent a shudder down your spine, drawing his attention.

His eyes shifted towards you, even as he continued curling a lock of your hair around his index finger and spoke with someone beyond this realm, someone you did not know.

“Don’t waste my time, brat. Why should I help you?”

He was not speaking to you, even though his narrowed eyes were drinking you in. You heard a plea in response, an agonized cry for help, that the person beyond had friends who were dying, that innocent people would be doomed if Sukuna refused his aid.

Sukuna’s eyes caressed every exposed inch of flesh before muttering a gruff response.

“People that weak deserve to die. And if you’re too weak to protect them, then you deserve to watch it happen.”

Sukuna traced a finger across your collarbones and down the valley of your breasts as he spoke. You could feel your heart racing in your chest at his touch.

“I’m busy, brat.” He barked, cutting off the connection. Sukuna turned his attention towards you, and you felt you were surely burning alive under his gaze.

But the boy’s voice returned, echoing throughout the domain. Sukuna growled in his throat in displeasure and you could not help but be concerned for the boy’s fate. He cast you one last, lingering look that seemed to indicate that you should wait for him, that he would return shortly, that he was far from done with you.

You nodded in understanding, and when you felt him slip away, you remained motionless on his throne, eagerly awaiting the moment he would reappear and find you, just as he had left you. Absolutely faithful to the letter and spirit of his command. Waiting to amuse him, to entertain him, to be the very plaything he had claimed you were. Ever faithfully by his side.

After all, where else would you go?

[shotowoki]

PAIRING: shouto todoroki x fem!reader

WARNINGS: smut, oral (female receiving), it’s pretty much just vanilla sex if i’m honest, aged-up, first time

WORDCOUNT: 2.8k

SYNOPSIS:

You had been dating Todoroki for a while now. And yet, you still hadn't taken things to the next level with him. Perhaps you were nervous, or maybe it was fear. After all, this was all new to you. What would it be like to lose your virginity to Todoroki, you wondered?  

Once again, you were back at the same spot as always. Your lips melting against Shouto's, his tongue gliding tenderly across yours. Even kisses like these had you feverish. From the gentle peck's he left along the nape of your neck to the more desperate ones. You were constantly left a nervous mess. Always getting lost in the way his plump lips came down in an open mouth kiss, capturing your lips one at a time before giving one a delicate tug.

And don't even get started on the way his hands felt in moments like these. His careful slender fingers caressing every inch of you. Gently, he would slip his hand from the small of your back to your thighs, resting himself there. Squeezing so slowly and lightly it felt almost as though he was teasing you each time. Without a doubt, you would feel goosebumps rise across your skin when his hand crept higher up your thighs, his fingers edging closer to your heat. And he would be so close, so close to touching you where you needed him most, but you could never go on. The knot in your stomach suddenly tightening as anxiety buried your body. Heart-thumping, you would lash out your hand to clutch his wrist, halting him in his tracks.

"Not ready, love?" is all he would say each time before gradually moving away, planting one last kiss on your lips.

It was the same each time, and it frustrated you beyond belief. Why couldn't you go on? Why did you feel so nervous? You knew you liked him, and you knew you were ready for him, so why? All these questions and you just couldn't find the answer.

And a new day would start.

Sweetly, you were awoken by the warm rays that peeked through your curtains, the golden hue painting your shared room with Shouto. You yawned softly as you shifted to your side, your boyfriend's face meeting yours as he slept. His eyelashes gently brushed against his cheeks as he snored through parted lips. You admired him in his peaceful state, cheeks slightly flushed, and his hair messily draped his eyes. Everything about him was so perfect.

You figured you should get out of bed, let him rest for a bit longer. As you slipped from under the sheets, you felt those familiar hands wrap around your waist, soliciting you to stay.

"Morning, sleepyhead." You giggled as you turned to look at him once more. But his only response was a hum as he relaxed his head against your back. His breath dripped down your neck, and his lips lazily grazed your soft skin. Suddenly, you felt yourself feeling hot still not accustomed to his touch.

His yawn filled your hearing and he tugged you back towards himself. "Can we just stay like this for a bit?" He mumbled into your ear lowly.

And you did just that, sinking into his embrace. His arms engirdled you, hands sneaking up your shirt where they relaxed. The way his chilled fingers brushed up and down your stomach had you feeling faint. You could feel his body heat across yours as he pressed himself against you. After all this time, he somehow always had an effect on you.

"Did you sleep well, y/n?" He whispered, his lips tickling your neck as he spoke.

"Um... yeah! I slept well. I'm sorry about yesterday, by the way. I just get too nervous to continue." You confessed, feeling a sting of embarrassment as you began reminiscing on last night.

You were referencing the night you tapped out of taking things further, again.

"Don't apologize for silly things like that, darling" You could feel his smile as he spoke. "We have all the time in the world. Don't rush yourself, okay?"

Carefully, he wrapped his fingers around your wrist, lifting your arm slowly and placing it back down until he had you pinned. Your back faced the mattress as your head laid trapped between his arms. Heterochromatic eyes wandered around your face, and a tender smile plastered itself across his lips.

"I'm not rushing myself, I promise. I am ready, but my nerves always get the best of me."

With that, Shouto lowered himself, his face inches away from yours. "Do I make you nervous, darling?" A foreign teasing tone laced his voice.

You felt your breath catch in your throat as you fluttered your eyes back at him. Both of you knew the answer to that question, and you were definitely not going to humiliate yourself further to admit to that fact.

"I'll take that as a yes, then."

Cushiony lips met yours in an instant. Though it happened fast, Shouto's careful demeanor didn't waver. As his lips danced against yours, the familiar sensation began to sweep over you; body hot and adrenaline pumping.

He kissed you deeper, tongue coasting against your bottom lip, asking for permission. You didn't hesitate to grant his request, opening up immediately as you drove your hands up his chest. Under your palm, you felt the subtle drumming of his heart. It was oddly soothing to know you weren't the only one nervous. Maybe it was normal to feel slightly shy in moments like these?

His tongue ventured you attentively. With every swirl and flick of his tongue in your mouth, he made shivers trickle down your spine. And you felt woozy all over again. High on the taste of him, you wrapped your fingers into his shirt, pulling him towards yourself.

"Someone's feeling a bit eager this morning," Shouto spoke into the kiss, the corners of his mouth drawing into a faint grin. He was right. You wanted him, and you wanted him bad; fed up with all the times you allowed your nervousness to get in the way of your urges.

Lightly, he pulled away, trailing his lips down your neck. They felt warm as his tongue licked gradually. Shou delicately ensnared your skin between his teeth, nibbling gingerly at what was exposed. Throwing your head back, you couldn't hold back the moans that eluded your lips. Each whine dripped in lust as you felt his merciless lips wander further down your body.

He savored the taste of your silky skin as he explored you. Your sweet fragrance engulfed him; he pushed your shirt up, resuming his embrace. Nose lightly whisking down your stomach before his tongue swept back up. The sounds of your whimpers laced with his name cascaded from your lips. How was it even possible to fall for you more than he already had? Just watching how sensitive and responsive your body was for him had him on cloud nine. Every move his hands made, every stroke of his tongue, and every kiss he settled. Your moans only got breathier, and it made Shouto's head spiral. It was rare that he got to see you in this state, and he knew he was going to imprint this moment into his memory. He was already getting hard at the lude noises that coated your lips.

Those tender fingers of his gradually began kneading you softly, running down your thighs. And the tame fire that burnt at the pit of your stomach was set ablaze. You craved him more than ever, feeling more bothered with every second that passed. In response to the bliss you currently felt, you tried to shut your thighs, get some friction going. Yet, Shouto's body prevented that desire from coming to fruition.

"Princess, are you feeling needy already?" He hoisted his head up, giving you that damn teasing smirk once more. Deep down, however, he was just as desirous as you at this moment, craving to know more of you.

Before you could even respond, he was lowering himself down, peppering your inner thighs in kisses. At this point, you knew you were dripping, a tingly sensation washing over you.

"S-shou... please." You managed to huff out through moans, starving for his attention.

"Please what? Use your words now." His words had you feeling warm all over, embarrassed by his demands. Shouto didn't know why exactly he was teasing you this much; he could barely wait any longer himself. But seeing you flustered under him had him euphoric.

"I'm ready. Just please- you know what I want."

And with that, he obliged, his smooth tongue sweeping up your thigh. Nestling his lips delicately over your core, you flinched under his touch as a whimper parted your lips. Even if it was such a simple action, you still felt overwhelmed by this newfound pleasure.

Shouto didn't waste any time, hooking his finger in your underwear and swiftly tugging them off your frame. You could feel the cool breeze against you as you now lay exposed to him.

"You're beautiful, darling." Your boyfriend spoke in awe at you, admiring your body under him.

"Don't just stare!"

You tossed a hand over your face but Todoroki just chuckled at you, removing your hand from your face. Capturing your lips once more with his.

"Tell me to stop if it's all too much, okay?" Giving him a nod, he took his cue to continue his endeavor.

His slick tongue found its way between your two lips, caressing you up gently where he paused at your clit. Sucking softly, you felt an electric shock overcome your body as he relished in your taste. Dripping in pleasure, you whimpered and moaned his name, hands naturally burying themselves in his hair.

Finally, Shouto got to be lost in your waters, circling his spongy muscle around your clit. The melodious hums he let out as he devoured you delivered vibrations against your pleasure. Body quivering under his touch, Shouto savored the way your legs shivered.

"S-shou, I-I need more." You pleaded through broken gasps.

The best way to describe how you were feeling was almost like you were drunk. Feeling somewhat faint and simultaneously enticed as new sensations encapsulated your being. You've never felt your whole body move in such ways against your control. Even his dainty breaths on you had your stomach caving and your head flinging itself back.

To top all this glory off, at your request Shouto slipped his two chilled fingers in you. Pressing them partially upwards with every thrust. That, combined with his tongue doing wonders on your clit had him pushing all the right buttons. You tugged at his hair and whimpered out for him, eyes rolling back as bliss submerged you. The boiling pot in your stomach's pit overflowing with every calculated move he made. And when his fingers reached slightly deeper in you, it all consumed you. Your breath trembled, and your body twitched as stars overran your vision. A lewd moan streamed out your mouth, and for Shouto, that was everything he wanted to hear.

"Shou-Shou, please... enough."

Beads of sweat trickled down your face as you began catching your breath. Calming down from your climax, you eyed as your boyfriend's flushed face rose from between your thighs, lips coated in only what could be your juices.

"Are you okay, princess?" He spoke in a caring tone, but the way his tongue slipped out to lick off your remains from his lips had you feeling lustful once more.

"I'm more than okay." You responded, pushing a strand of his hair behind his ear, resting your palm on his neck.

His wet lips met yours in a sloppy kiss; you could feel his eagerness as he pressed himself down against you. The bulge in his pants nudged your leg, and you wanted him to unravel himself in you the same way you did. Softly, you pushed his chest, grabbing his attention.

"Want to stop, y/n?" He asked breathily.

"N-no... Shou, I think I'm ready."

"Are you sure?"

He could barely tame the excitement that spiked in him, knowing exactly what was coming next. Yet, he swallowed down his desires, wanting you to be sure that this was what you wanted.

"I'm certain."

"I'll be gentle, okay? Tell me if it hurts." He left a delicate kiss on your forehead before pulling himself up.

You watched as he swiftly removed his boxer. Spreading you apart, he positioned himself at your entrance, rubbing the head of his dick up and down your fold. Breath already getting heavy, you dripped in anticipation for him.

"Ready?" He confirmed once more, earning a nod from you.

With your permission, he pushed the tip in, pausing as he waited for you to adjust to him gradually. The pressure you felt was near unbearable, feeling yourself stretch around his cock. Feeling full already, you couldn't imagine taking any more of him. You whimpered as you screwed your eyes shut, clenching your jaw as you bore the pain.

"I'm sorry if it hurts, y/n." He cupped your cheek, running his thumb across your bottom lip." I promise it won't hurt for much longer."

Once more, he drove more of himself in you, another surge of pain ripping through you. Quiet weeps evaded your mouth, your nails digging into Shouto's forearm. He took the hint, bringing his free hand down to meet your clit; his thumb tenderly rotating around it to drown out the discomfort. It felt better from there as trickles of pleasure rippling through you. Previous whimpers turned to lewd moans in no time, your pussy pulsating around Shouto as the pain gradually faded. And the last bit of him was in you.

He eyed his now submerged cock, letting out low moans as he felt you pulsate around him. But he didn't want to move yet. Instead, he cherished the image of your pretty self wrapped around him, your head tilted back and mouth open as your erotic voice bounced off the walls.

"How are you feeling, princess?" He came down to embrace his lips with yours as you reassured him of how you felt.

"I'm fine now."

"I'll start moving then."

You snaked your hands around his neck, preparing yourself for what was to come next. Haltingly, he began pulling out. Your walls swallowed him back in, however, and he could feel the pull. A gentle moan choked up in his throat at how snug you were.

"Princess, you're so tight." The low giggle that came after his comment made your body burn.

Before he could leave your body fully, he thrust himself back in. The lack of warning in his actions swept a moan out of you. Lust exploded through you as you sucked him back, and it had you almost reaching your climax again. Your eyes already rolled back as his dick stroked your plushy walls with every pump. Rhythmically, his hips met yours, and gradually you felt his pace pick up.

His body glazed in a thin layer of sweat; he peered at you through the hair that draped his eyes. You watched as his chest rose and fell, groaning at the feeling of being inside you. His pretty voice erupted from his throat and dripped down his rosy lips. This was a view one could only dream of, your beautiful boyfriend holding back from melting at your touch.

Louder and louder you both got, your moans flooding the room. No doubt that your climaxes were edging nearer. Every single thrust was hitting the right spot. The veins around his cock brushed every inch of you as you sucked him in deeper. Your body was overcome with warmth, legs bucking as your euphoria crawled closer. The knot in your stomach came undone as you moaned out Shouto's name. Gradually, his thrust got weaker, his own climax fast approaching. The feeling of being faint came as bliss occupied your sense. You twitched at how sensitive you felt, Shouto's cock still brushing past your walls as he road towards his high. Sloppier his pumps got, his moans getting deeper. He held you under himself, and with one sudden thrust, he whimpered into your ear as his cum drooled inside you, painting your velvet walls white.

You lay still for a moment, catching your breaths as you both processed what had occurred. It had finally happened; you both finally took things to the next level. Shouto turned to smile at you, intertwining your fingers together.

"You did amazing!" He said with a faint grin. You didn't even do anything, but you still felt a sense of pride. "I love you so much, y/n."

"I love you too, Shou."

Carefully, he pulled out of you, urging you not to move.

"Stay still. I'll clean us up and run you a bath, yes?" You propped yourself up on your elbows, already feeling the ache between your legs building.

But you still couldn't help but feel all warm inside as you observed your boyfriend run in and out of your room to tend to you.

[myherowritings]

Maybe It’s Fate

— After discovering the mememate you fell in love with was your ex-boyfriend who broke your heart, you find yourself alone in a bar with a dead phone in a poor attempt to cope. The person who helps you at 3 a.m. is the last person you want to see.

pairing: shinsou hitoshi x f!reader word count: 10,531 genre: modern au, social media au

a/n: hihi welcome to part 25 of toya ! ;) the smau is rated 17+ so keep that in mind because it applies to this part too. it’s a bit thicc so i hope it’s able to keep your attention! skksffsd plspls chat with me and let me know what u think once u read! i’m looking forward to the convos ^-^ [edit: THIS IS NOT THE FINAL PART LOLOL]

Of all the dumb decisions you’ve made in your life, this by far had to be the dumbest of them all.

You were angry and hurt and wanted nothing more than to drown your feelings with overplayed EDM music and cheap booze that reminded you too much of the trash college parties you used to frequent. And while going out to get drunk was no where near your stupidest decision, going out alone with the full intention of returning home with someone else was. 

“Is everything okay?” you heard an unfamiliar voice beside you call.

Wishing you had brought more than an empty can of pepper spray, you cautiously turned to face him. You wanted to call a cab or take the train home, but you knew walking alone in the streets in your current condition might just be more stupid than staying at the club. Besides, your phone died right after you sent Kaminari your location. 

In other words-- You were truly fucked.

Not that you would let anyone know that, of course.

“Everything’s just fine,” you replied, trying to sound polite but disinterested. “Thanks.” 

He kept his distance but sat down at the barstool next to you. “Are you sure? You’re a pretty lady alone at the bar and you’re staring at your drink like it just insulted your favorite grandmother.” 

Immediately, the tears of stress and frustration flooded your eyes but you kept them from falling. Your bottom lip quivered and you blamed all the alcohol in your system for your seemingly uncontrollable emotions.

 “Am I that transparent?” You sniffled, downing the rest of your drink as you turned towards him.

“Ah-- Wait!” he cried with wide eyes, waving his hands in front of him as you chugged what was in your glass. “Are you sure you should keep drinking? Where are your friends?”

You studied him curiously. He seemed nice and trustworthy, but you couldn’t help but be skeptical of his intentions.

“They’re...around,” you answered, unwilling to admit you were here alone to a random stranger. “And I’m okay! Just here hating men, but what’s new?” 

He nodded solemnly. “Understandable. Men suck. Carry on.”

That earned a grin from you.

As the last gulp of vodka settled in your stomach and made its way to your head, you instinctively checked your phone in your pocket only to find it still dead. 

Damn. And here you were hoping it would’ve miraculously charged through sheer willpower. 

Drumming your fingertips against the empty glass, you let your gaze roam around the perimeter of the nightclub, blinking furiously in confusion when you thought you had spotted a head of all-too-familiar purple hair near the entrance.

“What the…” you trailed off. You could have sworn you just saw Shinsou, but the next second you opened your eyes, he was gone.

Great, you thought to yourself miserably. First he snuck his way into your heart and now you were imagining his presence too? 

“You’re really had too much to drink, haven’t you, Y/N?” you chided yourself, head spinning as you instantly regretted the last few gulps.

The guy next to you glanced over in concern, drinking a glass of what you assumed to be respect women juice. 

“Can I order you some water?” he fretted. “Or maybe a cab?” 

You shook your head to decline but stopped abruptly when your temples started to throb at the sudden motion. 

“S’okay,” you slurred. “I just thought I saw--” 

“Y/N!” 

You froze in your seat.

That voice… It was faint and almost like it wasn’t real, but you knew that voice. 

There was no way. 

“Good grief, I’m losing it now, huh?” you asked your bar acquaintance with furrowed brows. 

He shrugged, not knowing how to reply.

“Y/N, thank god,” the voice said frantically, sounding closer this time. “You’re safe!”

Ever so slowly, you turned around in your seat, eyes squeezed shut.

Even hearing his voice amidst the blaring of music was enough to make your heart twist in pain. It was the same deep timbre you remembered from high school and you haven’t heard it since then. You hated just how much you had missed the familiar sound. It was like a hug of comfort telling you everything was okay and a stab in the gut all at once.

“Y/N,” he said again, almost a whisper this time.

You finally found the courage to open your eyes, but refused to meet his gaze. Instead, you developed a deep interest in the laces of his shoes, reluctant to look up. 

“Shinsou…” The name left a bitter taste on your tongue and you wished you had another drink to wash it down with. Your voice hardened. “What are you doing here?” 

He winced at your harsh tone but stood unrelenting. “Your friends are worried sick about you. Kaminari was so concerned he even messaged me-- Something I imagine he never wanted to do.”

Your lower lip jutted out in guilt as your stare stayed set on the intricacies of the tiled flooring. 

“Why have you not checked your phone?” asked Shinsou in exasperation. “Kaminari was trying to tell you I was going to pick you up.” 

“I’m sorry,” you said softly. “My phone died after I sent Denki my location.”

“Died? Did you not charge it before you left? Y/N how could you be so irresponsible--!” 

“Is everything okay here?” your unnamed acquaintance said from his seat on the bar. He glanced carefully between you and Hitoshi. 

You nodded, sparing him a wry smile. “I’m fine. Thank you, though.” 

Shinsou bit the inside of his cheek as he eyed the stranger who sat next to you. “Who’s this?” 

“None of your damn business.” 

Annoyed by Shinsou’s chiding, you bristled when he frowned at you. He had no right to sound concerned or jealous-- No right to pretend he cared!

Not when he did what he did.

“I know I was being stupid and I’ll call my friends when I get home,” you said, not bothering to hide your irritation. “But you can’t just come here and talk to me like everything is normal! Why are you even here?” 

Pushing yourself out of your chair, you stood up and finally looked Hitoshi in the eye, glaring at him. You wobbled on your own two feet and felt the goosebumps on your bare thighs and arms, briefly wishing you had brought a coat with you.

Great, another thing Toshi can call you irresponsible for, you thought crossly, a mixture of hurt and anger in your face as you stared up at him. 

“Why are you here?” you repeated as you paced away from the bar--turning back only to give your bar friend a wave goodbye that he returned with a confused look. You headed for the exist of the nightclub as briskly as your legs could carry you in your uncomfortable heels. “How did you know where to find me?” 

Shinsou trailed not too far behind you and you begrudgingly admitted to yourself that you felt a warmth near your back from his presence. “Kaminari told me you were alone at a nightclub and this one happened to be only ten minutes from my house.”

You pouted. Small fucking world. Fate must’ve been getting a kick out of this.

“Your friends were worried-- So was I.” You rolled your eyes, but he continued. “And since I was the closest to this place I offered to pick you up.”

Reaching the side doors, you stopped by the stone wall of the building and squinted at him. “You offered and they just let you?”

That did not sound like the friends you knew. You were expecting a full Shinsou beat down from Bakugou alone. 

Hitoshi scratched the back of his neck and, in your tipsy stupor, you felt comforted by the familiar habit of his. You swallowed, balling your hands into fists to snap your mind out of it.

It shouldn’t matter how many memories of the past were flooding you-- You were mad at him for lying and you had every right to be.

“Maybe offered is too loose of a word,” he admitted after a moment’s silence, having the decency to appear sheepish. “But we were worried and I knew I could get to you in half the time any of your friends could.”

Sure, it was a logical reason. But that didn’t mean you had to like it. “I would rather have waited double the time if that meant I didn’t have to see you again.” 

You stared Hitoshi straight in the eyes as you said that as you tried to ignore the trembling of your lower lip. He flinched at the words, looking hurt. But another part of him looked like he accepted it. 

“I know I’m the last person you want to see right now--”

“Mhmm,” you hummed just to be petty.

“--but we had no way of knowing if you were safe. Especially when you stopped replying to anyone! This was the quickest way.” 

Folding your arms across your chest you stubbornly held his gaze. “Well, I’m safe. So you can leave now.” 

Shinsou pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “Please. I know you hate me and you have every right to--”

“I don’t hate you,” you muttered under your breath. As much as you wish you did, you don’t think you could ever really hate him.

He blinked slowly and you could have sworn you saw a shimmer of hope in his expression. You tore your gaze away, studying the small fissures and cracks on the otherwise smooth pavement. 

“Oh,” he breathed almost imperceptibly. “Thank you.” 

You pretended not to hear him.

“Regardless of whether you hate me or not, I know you don’t want to see me--and I apologize for showing up so suddenly--but will you please let me bring you home safely?” Hitoshi pleaded. “Or to your friend’s house if you don’t want to be alone.”

With your lips squeezed shut, you rubbed the goosebumps off your upper arm. It was cold and your head was spinning and you had no clue what to say to him. 

Silently, Shinsou took off his outer coat and gently draped it over your shoulders, fastening the top button near the collar so it wouldn’t fall off your frame. You looked at him in surprise, unshed tears stinging the back of your eyes as you recalled all the times he’d given you his jacket while you were dating.

There were more times that you cared to admit where you conveniently “forgot” your jacket or wore too little layers on a cold day just so Hitoshi could give you his and you’d be enveloped in his scent.

And that’s exactly what was happening now. Shinsou’s coat surrounded your body like a warm hug and your nose was filled with a scent exactly like the one you remembered from when you were dating. He smelled like a sweet sandalwood with a mixture of fresh jasmine. He smelled like a field of flowers you’d find after a long trek through a woodsy forest. He smelled like home.

But he wasn’t.

In actuality, you haven’t been this close to Shinsou since your break up.

It had been years since you had seen him or talked to him or even been close enough to catch a trace of his scent. And now he was flooding every one of your senses with no care of the repercussions.

Your head was light.

You missed him. You cared for him. You never stopped loving him.

And now old wounds that never fully healed had been ripped open all at once.

“You were shivering,” Hitoshi stated quietly. “So I gave you my--”

He stopped short when he heard a sniffle coming from your direction, eyes growing wide as your buried your face in the palms of your shaking hands.

Through the cracks between your fingers, you saw Shinsou reach out to cup your face, stopping himself before he could touch you and withdrawing as if he had been burned. As stupid as it was, you wanted nothing more than to feel his touch against your skin and you found yourself involuntarily taking a half-step closer to him.

Your silent tears feel even faster. 

“Are you crying?”

Despite the droplets of water blurring your eyes, you managed to glare up at him for his dumb question. 

He grimaced. “Sorry. I’m...sorry.” 

Although you were the one crying, you still noticed the pained look on Shinsou’s face. He seemed just as conflicted as you were, his fingernails digging into the palms of his hands so hard his knuckles appeared white. 

When he opened his mouth to speak his voice sounded choked, but still gentle. “Are you okay, Y/N?” 

“Just peachy,” you murmured, barely moving your lips. The two of you stood there in awkward silence, nothing but the sounds of your labored breaths filling the air until you blurted, “Actually, you know what--? No. I’m not!”

Shinsou opened his mouth to speak but no noise came out. That was just fine by you, though. You had plenty of things you wanted to say, regardless of his response.

“I’m angry at you! And confused. And sad. And hurt! I don’t know if I want to yell at you or ignore you or run right back into your arms--” Your voice cracked and you squeezed your eyes shut, trying to slow your sharp breathing. 

You hugged yourself around your waist, painfully aware of how comforting his jacket felt around your body. A part of you wished you could just tear the coat off your shoulders, throw it onto a puddle on the floor, give Shinsou the middle finger, and turn away without looking back.

But you couldn’t. 

Instead, you let your tears continue to fall as you glowered at Hitoshi’s shoes. 

“I am so mad at you,” you managed, hands clutching the fabric at your sides. “You lied to me, Hitoshi. You lied to me and you didn’t trust me and you left!” 

The hurt from your past which you never wanted to accept mixed with anger from the present, both fueling your surge in emotions.

“And now you’re here--in front of me--acting like everything is okay?!” you shouted in exasperation. Your face was burning despite the chilling breeze outside. “Do you even care about me? Have you ever even cared about me?” 

He gritted his teeth, hurt that you would even ask that. “Of course. Of course I care about you, Y/N! Even through all these years I’ve never stopped caring about you.”

“Funny way of showing it.” 

His laugh was humorless. “I’m a fuck up. I know.” 

Your gaze softened just the slightest bit. “Hey-- I didn’t say that.” 

Shinsou shrugged. “Regardless, I did fuck up with you. And I’m so sorry for that.” 

“For which time?” By now, the tears flowing out of your eyes slowed, the remnants dried by the biting wind. You gave him a wry smile, unamused. 

“Both times,” he answered without hesitation. “I hurt you when I broke up with you for no damn reason and I lied when I told you I didn’t love you. That was the biggest lie of my life-- I still loved you. So much. But I jumped to conclusions and didn’t give you the change to explain. I owe you so much more than an apology but it’s the least I can give you right now.” 

You rolled your lower lip between your teeth, hating yourself for wanting to accept his apology and jump into his arms. He gave no excuses for what he did and his words were genuine. That much you knew for certain.

Slowly, he inched towards you. 

“I really am sorry, Y/N.” He paused. “You didn’t deserve any of that.”

You stayed silent, holding your breath as the pad of his thumb brushed against your damp cheek. Shinsou wiped away your flood of tears with a touch so gentle, it felt like a feather on your face.

His thumb lingered on your cheekbone, his fingertips lightly grazing your jaw, and you found yourself ever so slightly leaning into his palm. The tension in your muscles loosened and if you closed your eyes, you could almost pretend you were back with the Shinsou you loved in high school-- As if he never left and nothing had ever changed. 

Just for a moment, you tricked yourself into being truly happy. You tricked yourself into thinking that maybe you and Hitoshi could still be in love. 

You wanted to capture this second and replay it on an infinite loop, but just like all moments, this too had to come to an end. 

As you opened your eyes, Hitoshi reluctantly brought his hand back to his side.

“Sorry,” he said, voice hoarse. “You were crying and I just wanted to--” He shook his head, cutting himself off before his voice cracked. “I’m sorry.” 

It sounded like his apology was meant for more than just wiping some tears off your face. 

You nodded almost imperceptibly, the anger in your gaze diffused by hurt and longing. “I know.”

As the minutes passed, neither one of you made a move to step away from the other-- Your bodies mere inches apart and so close, yet never quite touching.

Suddenly, Hitoshi cleared his throat.

“Er-- If you’ll let me, I think I should bring you home now,” he said, forcibly shaking himself out of his daze and pulling his phone out. “It’s almost four in the morning.” 

Blinking, you rubbed your eyes. Not that he mentioned the time, you realized just how tired you were. You wanted to take a bubble bath, change into fluffy pajamas, and sleep until the following night. 

“Do you have to go to your flower shop tomorrow?”  

“Hmm?” You were startled. You had almost forgotten that the man in front of you was the same person you considered your “mememate.” As much as you hated to admit it, he probably knew more about you than some of your closest friends. 

Biting your lip, you snapped yourself out of it.

“Oh-- Right. My flower shop.” 

He nodded.

“No, I don’t have work tomorrow,” you answered finally. “I may not have made the smartest decisions tonight, but I’m not that irresponsible.” 

A shadow of a smile graced his face. “Of course not.” 

Fishing his keys from his pocket, Shinsou walked to the parking lot of the nightclub, looking over his shoulder to check if you were following.

When his gaze met yours you immediately stuck your tongue out at him haughtily so he knew you were only following him as a last resort and you needed to get home-- Not because you wanted to. 

You caught a glimpse of his grin before he turned around, and you managed to stop yourself before one spread to your lips as well. 

Stopping at a black car with tinted windows, Hitoshi unlocked it with his keys, opening the door of the passenger seat and waiting for you to safely enter. 

“I can open a door myself,” you murmured, sliding into the seat securely before he gently shut it close. 

“I know,” you heard his amused voice call through the window.

It felt like there was one, singular butterfly fluttering around in your stomach and causing mayhem, and you batted it away before Hitoshi could come in and see the grin on your face. 

“Did I just see you just hit yourself in the gut?” he asked when he entered through the driver’s side. 

“No.” 

“Okay.”

Subtly, you rubbed your tummy in a soft, circular motion. You hadn’t meant to punch the butterfly that hard. 

“Didn’t hit yourself, huh?” 

You flushed. “Oh, hush.” 

With a snort, Hitoshi turned the engine of his car on and you let your eyes explore the interior. It was sleek and clean, smelling like a mixture of sandalwood and new car. 

Reaching behind the gear level, he pulled out a white cord and handed it to you. You stared at the object in his hands.

“For you,” he said, with a raised brow. “You should charge your phone and let your friends know you’re on your way home.” 

Wordlessly, you accepted it from him. Careful not to let your fingers brush against his in fear of the spark it might cause.

“I messaged Kaminari earlier to let him know you were safe. But he probably wants to hear it from you.”

You nodded as you plugged your dead phone in. “Thanks.” 

He hummed, putting the car on drive and backing out of the parking spot, stopping before he reached the main street. 

“Do you know how to get home from here?” he asked. As you shook your head, Hitoshi handed you his fully charged phone that was opened on the navigation app. “You can search for your address.”

“Got it.” The air between you was almost suffocatingly awkward as you typed in where you lived, each click of the keyboard ringing into the stillness of the night. After finding turning the directions on, you handed the phone back to him. “Thanks.”

Shaking his head, he waved you off. “You don’t need to keep thanking me, Y/N. This is the least I could do.”

Averting your gaze, you twiddled your thumbs in your lap, unsure what to say. You had so much you wanted to tell him--so much you wanted to ask--but when it came to it, you froze. 

Just then, your phone made a sound from its spot near the gear shift, buzzing and lighting up as it finally turned on. A plethora of notifications filled your screen and you found yourself feeling guilty for making your friends worry like that.

Five missed calls for Kaminari, three missed calls from Todoroki, and nine missed calls from Bakugou. You gulped. You were definitely going to get your ears talked off by those three once they got a hold of you. 

But amidst the calls and texts of worry from your friends, you also noticed a handful of messages from Hitoshi. He sent you texts asking if you were okay and telling you not to worry because he was on his way to get you. There was a lump in your throat when he saw the messages were still from your mememate-- You never did get around to changing his contact name.

From the corner of your eye you saw Hitoshi glancing down at your phone screen, a look of regret apparent on his face. When he caught you staring, he directed his attention back on the road, clearing his throat as he followed the directions on the navigation system.

To think only a week ago, things were so different between the two of you. 

You thought he was a random stranger you connected with through the power of memes, never having a clue that he was your ex this whole time. You found yourself opening up and sharing your private feelings with him despite the promise you made yourself to always guard your heart. 

Even anonymously, Hitoshi climbed over your walls and found his way to the inner workings of your life. Even anonymously, he made everything feel like it was okay. 

But a part of you was scared--so scared--that it was all in your head and he was only playing you this whole time. And at this point, you were just too afraid to ask.

“Are you crying again?”

“What?!” you yelped in alarm, wiping at your slightly damp face with the sleeves of his coat. “No, you asshole!” You glared at him, a few loose tears still gathered by the corners of your eyes. You refused to let them fall through the use of sheer willpower. “The air conditioning is just blasting into my eyes.”

“The air conditioner is off.”

You blinked. “Well that makes sense. It’s so hot in here I’m just sweating through my eyes.” 

He pressed his lips together to keep from smiling. “Right.”

The lighthearted mood didn’t last very long, however, when your phone buzzed once more and the notifications from earlier tonight appeared on your lockscreen. 

“I really made everyone worry, huh?” You sighed, leaning back against the headrest and shutting your eyes, the effects of the alcohol long since worn off. “I can’t believe I did something like this.” 

He signaled a left turn and waited until he was at the red light before continuing. “I’m sorry for causing this.” 

You stared at him in confusion. “What do you mean? Causing this?”

“Yeah. If I had just told you who I was the moment I found out, this wouldn’t have happened. You wouldn’t have been scared and alone at a random nightclub and your friends wouldn’t have been in near panic for hours. Hell-- If I hadn’t run away like that all those years ago none of this would have happened.” His fingers tightened around the steering wheel so hard it left indents on the leather. “You wouldn’t have felt all the pain and heartbreak and--”

His voice grew hoarse as it broke off, as if something was tightening around his throat. Holding your breath, you gazed at him in concern.

You were angry at Hitoshi and thought he had a lot of explaining to do-- Sure. But...for him to blame himself for everything that happened? That was more weight than anyone should bear on their own. 

Surprising both him and yourself, you firmly placed your hand on top of his as he gripped the steering wheel. His hands were cold and rough from the wind, and you were certain yours weren’t much better. But still, you held him. And still, it felt right. 

“Not everything is your fault, Toshi,” you said quietly, his old nickname slipping out of your mouth before you could stop it, like it was natural for you to call him that.

His eyes widened and a flush filled your cheeks. 

You coughed to relieve the tension in your neck. “I just mean… You don’t need to blame yourself for everything. You messed up and there’s no denying that, but this isn’t all your fault. I mean it.” 

Your eyes met before he tore his gaze away to focus on driving. Quickly, you retracted your hand from on top of Shinsou’s, cradling it against your stomach as you felt the burn from his skin linger on yours.

“Thank you.” His voice was solemn and grateful, as if he needed to hear those words at least once in his life. “You’re too caring, you know? Your heart is too good.” 

You let out a breath of laughter, brushing his compliment off. “Yours is too. It’s just been through some shit. And maybe didn’t make the best decisions.”

“It most definitely didn’t.”

Though neither of you were looking at each other, there was a shared sense of happiness between the two of you--regardless of how brief it may have been. There was a small smile playing on your face as you bit your lip to keep it from growing wider. 

You hadn’t fully forgiven Hitoshi, he still had some explaining to do, but you felt a sense of calmness when you realized that maybe forgiveness would be possible.

Before you knew it, you heard the navigator say, “Your destination is on the right,” as Hitoshi pulled up at the curb in front of your building.

“We’re here,” he announced slowly, one hand on the gear level as if he wasn’t sure what to do next. 

There was an awkward silence as you unplugged your phone from his car charger. It wasn’t that you wanted to spend more time with him exactly (that was definitely not the case), but rather you had more questions to ask. And what better time to figure out those questions than at four in the morning? 

“You’ve been driving for a while…” you trailed off, hoping he caught the hint without too much embarrassment on your part. “Do you want to use the restroom before you drive back home?”

Hitoshi scratched the back of his neck. “No, I’m good. I wasn’t out for that long.”

“O-Oh,” you stuttered, a sudden feeling of nerves settling in your stomach. Not those damned butterflies again. “Well, how about… Maybe you want a glass of water or a cup of tea?” 

He gave you a curious look but set his car to park and turned off the engine nonetheless. “Sure…? Some water would be nice.”

You let out a sigh of relief you didn’t know you were holding, pulling your keys out of your pocket and unbuckling your seatbelt. Before you could open the car door for yourself, Hitoshi was already on the passenger’s side ready to open it for you. 

“I know how to open a door,” you muttered with a roll of your eye, but felt a faint flush litter your cheeks nonetheless. You hopped out of your seat, accepting the hand he offered to stead you. “But...thank you.” 

“No worries.” 

For someone you were still mad at, he was making it damn hard for you to stay petty. 

Despite the light throbbing in your head, both from drinking too much alcohol and from staying up too late, you were able to lead him inside your living room with no complications--only struggling with unlocking the door just a little. 

“Welcome to my house,” you said, flapping your arms around and fidgeting in place. You slid off your shoes and placed them at the doorway and Hitoshi followed suit. “You can, uh, sit on the couch while I get you water. Or you can follow me into the kitchen…?”

Your eyes scanned the floors and furniture of your apartment. You liked maintaining your living space clean and clutter-free, so it wasn’t too much of a mess. Still, you weren’t expecting any guests and it wasn’t as nice as it could have been…

You shook your head, giving your face a light slap when you thought no one was looking. You shouldn’t be bothered. It was just Hitoshi here. Someone you most definitely no longer cared about. 

Or so you kept telling yourself.

He followed behind you, grabbing at his neck and glancing between your walls and you, unsure what to look at in this new environment. After all, it wasn’t everyday you picked up your ex that you haven’t seen for four years at a bar only to be invited into their house.

“I can go with you to the kitchen,” he answered with uncertainty.

“G-Great!” 

You grimaced. When did you become Tony the Tiger all of a sudden? 

As you grabbed two glasses from the cupboard, you filled them up with ice and water, setting one next to Shinsou on the countertop. 

He accepted it. “Thank you.” 

You nodded and there was an awkward silence, both of you taking long sips from your glass, not knowing where to go from here. You knew you wanted to talk to him, but what were you going to ask exactly? What was the right way to go about this situation?

Next to you, Hitoshi looked like he was having some inner struggles of his own. His fingers flexed and unflexed around the cool glass, both avoiding your gaze and looking at you at the same time.

Biting your lip, you turned to look at him. As uncomfortable as it was, there was no better time to ask than now.

“Can we talk--?”

“We should talk--”

You both started and stopped at the same time.

There was a beat of elongated silence before the two of you laughed. Shaking your head, you buried your face in your hands, peering at him between your fingers. 

“This is silly,” you cried in embarrassment. “Why are we so awkward?” 

Hitoshi shrugged as a flustered laugh escaped his own lips. “Because this is weird. This is a strange situation we’re in and no one would ever expect something like this to happen.”

“Exactly!” 

“But,” he continued, almost hesitantly, “I’m kind of glad it did, though.” 

Your own laughter quieted down as the mood became more serious. You drank another gulp of water to quench your suddenly parched throat. 

“Can we talk in the living room?” you asked, heading towards the hallway when Hitoshi nodded. You figured if you were going to have an uncomfortable conversation, you may as well try to find some comfort in your warm and plush sofa.

You sat down at the edge near the armrest and he took a seat not too far from you. There was less than a cushion space separating the two of you and if you were to move a few inches, your thighs would be touching. 

Tearing your gaze away from your legs, you looked up to face Hitoshi. “You don’t have to answer, but… There have been some questions on my mind lately.” 

He nodded, as if expecting you to say that. “Ask away. It’s the least I could do.”

You curled your legs and hugged your knees to your chest, peering at him through your lashes. 

“Okay,” you said somewhat unsurely. Confrontation was never easy. “Why didn’t you tell me you knew who I was? How long were you planning on keeping it from me?”

Hitoshi ran a hand through his hair, tufts of purple sticking out in random patterns. Somehow, it suited him.

“I found out a day or so before you confessed to liking...your mememate,” he admitted. He had told you this through text when you asked, but hearing it a second time didn’t make it hurt any less. “I was going to tell you that day, too. But then you told me you liked me and I didn’t know how to break it to you then.”

You looked away, embarrassed at the reminder of the night you poured your heart out to him. He knew you were his ex the whole time and still didn’t stop you? You scoffed, “Well, you could’ve stopped me before I humiliated myself like that.”

“Humiliate-- How?”

“What do you mean how?” You glared. “I totally embarrassed myself that night by saying how much I liked you--my ex!--only to have you basically reject me on the spot!” 

“I didn’t reject you.”

“I told you that you were the first person I liked since...well you,” you said, rubbing your temples to ease your own confusion. “And you never said it back. Not that you needed to. It’s totally fine that you don’t. It’s just that… I don’t even know. I just wish I never said anything.”

He placed the glass he was holding onto a coaster on your coffee table, shaking his head.

“I’m sorry,” said Hitoshi. “But that’s not it at all. I wasn’t trying to reject you. I would’ve told you I liked you back-- I wanted to, I swear.” 

Your head snapped to his. He wanted to tell you? As in he started liking you too? Even when he didn’t know who you were?

With a wistful smile, he continued, “But it wasn’t fair to you. Not when I knew who you were and you didn’t know who I was. You didn’t deserve that bullshit.” 

You stretched your legs out so they were dangling off the couch, folding one carefully over the other as you crossed your arms. “Then you should’ve just told me the truth about who you were.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry.” He hung his head. “And if I did, you never would’ve told me your feelings.”

“Exactly,” you huffed. “They’d be safe and locked away in my heart until they disappeared.” 

He was silent as you turned his body towards yours, resting his arm on the back cushions of the sofa.

“Is that really what you want, though?” he asked. “You’re so kind and beautiful and you deserve to open your heart to someone and be happy with them.” A flush rose to your cheeks at his sudden words of kindness but you shook it away. “I never knew I hurt you so badly that you were scared to love again-- And I’ll hate myself everyday for that.” 

“Hitoshi…” Your gaze softened. You wanted to reach out and smooth down his hair but you couldn’t. 

He hurt you, yes. But to hate himself and never forgive himself for it? You thought that was far too extreme. 

“When you broke up with me,” you started slowly, unsure how to go about this, “you said that our relationship was nothing more than some cheap dates and sex.” He winced, holding his stomach as if he felt nauseous. “If you’re so regretful now, why did you ever say something like that? Did I really mean nothing to you?” 

“No-- Of course you meant something to me. Y/N, you were everything to me. And it’s ridiculous of me to say this now but I never wanted to hurt you like that,” Hitoshi said, his eyes squeezed shut. “But I did and I’m so sorry. I thought if I told you those mean things you would find it easier to just hate me and move on. Be with Kaminari or someone who could make you happy.” 

You glared at him with both sadness and anger, nails digging into your palms. “I was happy. With you. Is that so hard to believe?”

“A little.”

Taken aback, you stared at him. You weren’t sure what response you were expecting, but it certainly wasn’t that. 

“But not because of anything you did,” he rushed before you could get the wrong idea. “I just thought you were a good person who truly deserved something better than what I could give. You should be with someone who wasn’t anxious and insecure and messed up.” 

You were unsure if you wanted to smack Hitoshi or give him a hug, so you sat there stock-still.

“Even when I saw you with Kaminari, a part of me thought it would be better off that way,” he admitted, a scornful look on his face as he scoffed at himself. “But that wasn’t my call to make, was it? And how I went about it was wrong and dishonest. I’m really sorry.” 

He tugged at a loose thread on the sofa while staring at you in earnest. There were so many things to say and not enough time in the night to say it. 

“You’re right. It wasn’t your call,” you said, furrowing your brows. “I wish you would’ve told me you were feeling this way all those years ago. I loved you--regardless of what you may have thought. And what you said really hurt me.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I fucked up and hurt you more deeply than I could’ve ever imagined. You felt like you couldn’t have feelings for anyone for all those years because of what I did, and if I could take it all back, I would.” 

His hand trembled slightly as he reached out to cup your face, pulling away harshly before he could touch you. 

“You deserve to find love, Y/N. Even if it’s not with me because I know I have no right to anyone’s heart after what I did--”

“Hey, don’t say that!” you interrupted, a wrinkle forming as you scrunched up your nose. You frowned at him. “You deserve to find love again, too. You may have messed up a few times, and I’m not going to pretend like I wasn’t hurt, but I still care about you. A lot. And just because you made some really bad decisions doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to ever be happy.” 

He looked down at his lap, hands curled into fists by his side. You had the sinking suspicion he didn’t believe you.

Swallowing your pride, you inched closer to him, lightly lifting his chin so he stared at you face-to-face. The dark purple of his eyes stormed as a conflicted expression overcame him and you wanted to run a finger over his brow and brush the insecurities away.

Quietly, you whispered, “You’re so worthy of love, Hitoshi. And it makes me so sad that you still haven’t realized it.” 

You felt a piece of your heart chip as he pulled away from you, gritting his teeth as he hung his head. When he spoke, his voice sounded choked, as if he was holding back tears.

“You’ve shown me too much kindness,” he said, words shakey. “Even after I assumed you cheated and broke up with you in the cruelest way possible--” 

His voice cracked and he couldn’t speak. With his gaze avoiding yours he pushed himself off the couch.

“God, I’m sorry,” Hitoshi muttered, his face a look of self-disdain. “I shouldn’t even be here in your life right now. I should just--”

Your hand grabbed the one he used to shove himself off your sofa, holding his fingers tight in between yours. With your head bowed, you called, “Don’t leave again. Not yet.”

He froze in his spot, one leg immobile in front of the other in the direction of the door. Desperately, you tugged at his arm so he looked back at you. Your eyes pleaded with him. This wasn’t the end. It couldn’t be the end until you received your closure and Hitoshi received his. 

“You know that night we played Truth or Drink?” you asked, breaking the silence. 

He stared back at you curiously, slowly sitting down as you patted the seat next to you. Cautiously, he nodded in response.

That night was a pivotal time in bonding with your mememate and it was the closest you had felt with anyone besides your best friends.

Continuing, you said, “You told me about your dad cheating on your mom. And then seeing me and Denki the next day after I lied about who I was with.” 

There was no accusatory tone in your voice, and you stated it as if you were recalling the facts. But still, Hitoshi winced. 

“Yeah, shit.” He placed his palm over his forehead, rubbing at his temple as he grimaced. “I really just jumped to conclusions like that and it was unfair to you. I’m so sorry.”

You didn’t reply to his apology, but gave him a small smile. “That night, I told you I thought your response was understandable. It made sense that you were mistrustful at the time. Especially after just finding out about your parents-- People I know you looked up to. Even in regards to love.” 

Hitoshi wore a guarded expression, but still listened keenly to what you had to say. 

“Toshi… My opinion on that doesn’t change just because I now know it was me you were talking about.” 

“Y/N--”

“Don’t get me wrong,” you clarified, not wanting to sound too lenient. “I’m still hurt that you couldn’t trust me. I wish you confronted me so we could’ve cleared up the misunderstanding. I wish you hadn’t stood me up on our anniversary date. But most importantly… I wish I could have been there for you when you found out about your parents.” 

Hitoshi sat there in silence, mouth opening but unable to form the sentences he wanted. 

You gave him a look of regret, one hand still not letting go of his even as he stayed seated beside you. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you.”

“It’s not your fault. At all.”

As you shook your head, he faltered. “Still, you went to America, alone, and never told anyone what was wrong. You kept all these feelings to yourself this whole time and I hate that so much.” 

“I didn’t want to be a burden to anyone. I don’t deserve to--”

Your fingers twitched. How many times was he going to beat himself while he was already down? 

“Stop saying that!” you snapped, unable to contain your emotions. “You are not a burden. And you deserve so much more than you think you do.” 

His eyes widened at your outburst and his lips parted slightly. 

“It’s good you know what you did was wrong-- You can’t pretend lying and making assumptions was okay because it’s not. But you know it’s not! And you acknowledge that and it seems like you regret it.” Your voice took on a desperate tone as you tried to get Hitoshi to see his mistakes as something separate from his worth as a whole. “You’ve made mistakes, but you can grow from them. Fucking up doesn’t mean you’re undeserving of love and happiness. You don’t have to take all the blame onto yourself.” 

“How can I not take the blame?” he asked, his frustration at himself matching yours. “If I had been a better boyfriend, I would have trusted you more. If I had been a better person, I wouldn’t have lied to you. And maybe if I had been a better son, my parents--”

As if your body had a mind of its own, you threw your arms around him in a hug before he could finish his sentence. You heard a sharp inhale come from him as he sat, rigid.

“Don’t,” you whispered, breathing harshly as you held him tight. “Please, Toshi. Don’t say that. If no one ever told you this, please listen to me then. It’s not your fault. Your parents divorcing has nothing to do with your worth. Don’t blame yourself for the issues they had.” 

His shoulders were still tense despite the shudder of tears you felt.

“You don’t need to blame yourself for everything. Hold yourself accountable, yes. Always strive to be a better person, yes. But don’t think it’s all your fault,” you pleaded. “You don’t have to handle everything on your own. You can lean on someone, Toshi.” You gently stroked the hair on the back of his head. “You can lean on me.” 

At your words, you felt him visibly relax, his body free of the tension as you held him close. 

Suddenly, his arms wrapped around you as he returned your embrace, his strong hands firmly gripping your waist as if he never wanted to let you go. You found yourself loosening up at his touch and you placed your head in his chest. 

Peering up at him through your lashes, you said, “I don’t know if you need to hear this, but I need to say it.” 

His thumb stroked the length of your spine as you continued. 

“I forgive you, Hitoshi. For everything.” He stopped moving as he looked at you in surprise. You simply smiled at him. “Your apologies were genuine and so is your regret. I know you’re a good person and I forgive you, so please stop blaming yourself now.” 

“Thank you, Y/N. So much.” He pulled away ever so slightly, feelings of guilt still flooding him. “But I feel like I still don’t deserve it though--”

A noise of protest bubbled up at your throat. “I swear to god, if I hear the d-word come out of your mouth again, I’ll make you shut up.” After a moment’s pause, you tried to hide your laughter. “Heh. D-word.”

“Oh my god,” he said, his amusement escaping him. With his arms still around your waist, he challenged, “How would you make me shut up?”

You wiggled your eyebrows. “Wouldn’t you like to know.” 

Hitoshi laughed a genuine laugh that you haven’t heard in years. The deep rumble had a smile of your own forming on your lips. 

But the mood turned serious when you gazed into his eyes again.

“Really, though…” you said, squeezing the fabric at his sides. “I’m sorry you’ve been feeling this way for so long without telling anyone. I hope you know you can always talk to me.” 

He tilted his head back, staring at your ceiling as you caught sight of his Adam’s apple. “Why are you being so nice to me after how much I hurt you?”

“Because I care about you,” you answered simply. “And I know you still care about me. You wouldn’t be this hung up over everything if you didn’t.” 

There was a sort of smugness in you as you teased him and he let out a breath of laughter. 

“Hah. I do. I care about you. And I’ve missed you so much.” 

You didn’t think it was possible, but he hugged you even closer to him. Your arms released their embrace on Hitoshi as you brought them to your sides. He looked down at you with a strange expression.

“I’ve missed you, too,” you admitted, squeezing your eyes shut as if it pained you. “You’re the first and only person I’ve ever loved and I miss you more than you could ever know.” 

Your head was bowed at his chest as you tried to steady your trembling hands by grasping the fabric at the front of his shirt.

“Why did you never call me? Why didn’t you tell me you were moving to another continent? Toshi, I loved you so much--” Your voice broke off as the tears you were holding in escaped you. “Why did you leave me?” 

His fingers were laced in your hair, holding you tight. He wanted nothing more than to soothe your tears and hated himself for being the cause of them. “I’m an insecure idiot who fucked up the best thing that ever happened to him.” 

Through the blur of tears, you saw the wistful look on his face. The best thing? you thought to yourself, touched. 

“No amount of apologizing is going to fix anything,” he said, accepting it as a fact, “but I am so sorry. And I want you to know I’m grateful the person who AirDropped me that day was you.”

He lifted your chin and wiped your tears away with the pad of his thumb. Your knees were touching his thighs as you sat down with your legs folded under you, facing him. Letting go of the grip you had on his shirt, you unballed your fists and instead rested your palms on his chest.

You grinned at the audacity of it all. “I still can’t believe that happened. But I’m glad it did, too.”

“Must be a small world.”

“Or maybe it’s fate.” Your hand found his as you interlocked pinkies with him bashfully. 

Hitoshi looked down at your interlaced fingers and a light dusting of pink colored his cheeks. A sense of enjoyment filled you as he continued to blush, a teasing grin playing on your face. 

Before you lost any courage you had, you pressed your lips against the corner of his mouth-- Not quite a kiss but most definitely an invitation for one.

The red on his cheeks died down as his eyes darkened in color, removing his hand from your waist to cup your jaw. Hitoshi’s palm was warm and soft against you and you leaned into his caress.

“Do you feel like you got the closure you needed?” he asked, his voice a whisper as he leaned close to you. 

“Yes.” You nodded, painfully aware of your close proximity. If you were to lift your head up any more, your lips would brush against his. “Do you?”

“Yes.” 

His forehead was pressed against yours and your heart was being so hard, you were certain Hitoshi could hear it from his spot in front of you.

After a moment’s silence, you said, “Now what?” 

He shrugged, eyes shut. “That’s up to you to decide. I’m happy with doing whatever will make you happiest. And if that means leaving you alone and letting you close this chapter, then I--”

You yelped, silencing him with a gentle shove on the chest.

“Are you crazy?” you asked incredulously. “You think I would ever let you go again?” There was frustration in your voice as you resisted the temptation to kiss the stupidity out of him. “I… I mean, unless that’s what you want?” 

“Y/N…” Now he was the one with the tone of disbelief, like he couldn’t wrap his mind around what you had just said. “I’d want to stay with you. For as long as you’d let me.”

“O-Oh?” Your eyes widened in shock, but soon settled into an ecstatic smile. “Fate must have done us a favor with all this AirDrop stuff, huh? I fell for you all those years ago as Shinsou, and I fell for you again without even knowing who you were. There’s no way I’d throw that chance away.” 

Tired of waiting for him to make the first move, you brought your hands to the back of his neck, and lifted your head up to meet his. You spotted an amused look on his face, but it didn’t last very long when your lips finally pressed against his with a contented sigh.

His movements were gentle and slow, like he was afraid if he kissed you any harder he would find this was only an illusion that would shatter. But it wasn’t. It was real and it was genuine and you wanted to prove it to him. 

You broke away from his touch to pepper chaste kisses on his jawline, starting at the lobe of his ear and making your way down to the sensitive part of his throat you knew would drive him crazy, your hot breath blowing against his neck as a guttural sound escaped him.

“Eager, are we?” he asked hoarsely, his chin lifted. 

You grinned mischievously against him.

“As much as I appreciate the gesture,” said Hitoshi, gently pushing you away with a roguish glint in his eyes, “you don’t always have to keep giving. You should be spoiled for a change.”

You squealed when his hands trailed down your sides to cup the undersides of your thighs, lifting you up as you sat down on his lap. His hands unclasped the button that fastened his coat on you and brushed the collar aside, exposing the supple skin on your upper chest.

“You should be spoiled,” he breathed in between each kiss he planted on your decolletage, “every day of your life.”

Your face burned at the implication of his words, the skin his mouth had touched feeling like they were searing hot. Though his jacket had fallen off your shoulders, you were still overwhelmed by his scent, the woodsy citrus filling your senses as you sighed his name and you still couldn’t get enough. He was more intoxicating than any vodka you had consumed earlier that night. 

Growing impatient at his teasing, you squirmed on his lap, causing him to hiss in response. 

You giggled at his expression and stuck your tongue out at him. “Just kiss me already.”

Tossing his inhibitions to the side, he obliged. 

When your lips met again, this time it wasn’t uncertain and gentle. Each move Hitoshi made was firm and deliberate and if you weren’t already sitting down, your knees would have gone weak and given in.

His teeth grazed your lower lip and he kissed you harder, and your hands found themselves tangled underneath the hem of his shirt. The skin on your arms filled with goosebumps as he mimicked your motions, his fingers toying with the clasp of your bra as his name escaped your lips once more in a strangled moan.

Before it could go any further, however, Hitoshi removed his hands from the band of your undergarments and slowly pulled away from your kiss. 

His face was flushed with beads of sweat falling down the side and his breathing was labored. You were certain you weren’t any better as you rested your forehead against his to steady yourself. 

“Why’d you stop?” you asked with a strained voice, giving him your best pleading eyes.

“It’s late and you need some rest, baby.” He pressed a soft kiss to your nose with a smile. “I don’t want to stop--believe me,” he promised, his hands squeezing your thighs that still straddled his lap, “but I also don’t want you to rush into anything you might regret.” 

You pouted, not wanting him to stop, but also feeling grateful he wanted to make sure you weren’t going to do anything you would regret the next day.

“Damn you for being such a gentleman,” you grumbled. 

He ran the tip of his tongue against his lower lip. It was plump and red and it took all your willpower not to kiss it again.

“Only sometimes, princess,” he said when he noticed how your gaze zeroed in on his mouth. “But for now, you should get ready for bed. The sun is almost rising already.” 

Hitoshi made a move to get up and you slowly unwrapped your legs from his hips, standing up shakily. He placed his hands on your hips to help you steady yourself, but that just made the weakness worse. 

Still holding you, he stood up from the couch and looked down at you, resting his chin on the top of your head as you hugged him. 

“You’re leaving?” you whimpered, a pout on your face. 

“Sadly,” he sighed. “I have work tomorrow. Well, in a few hours I suppose. But if you need me to stay I--”

“Oh, my god!” you cried, jumping away from him. “You have work? And yet you still came for me and let me keep you this whole time?! Toshi!” 

You folded your arms across your chest as you scolded him, but he just ruffled your hair playfully. 

“It was the least I could do,” said Hitoshi. “And I’m used to running on little to no sleep. It’s fine, don’t worry about me.” 

“It’s not fine! If you don’t get enough sleep this week I will smother you until you pass out.” You glared at him, holding his face between your hands and examining his tired eyes. Your gaze softened when you saw how sleepy he looked and thought about how well he hid it from everyone. You sighed. “And I think you’re a lot more selfless and caring than you give yourself credit for.” 

You kissed the apples of his cheeks and smoothed his brows. 

“Thank you for tonight,” you said. “You should get going.”

“No, you’re the one I should be thanking,” he replied, giving you one last embrace before getting ready to head towards the door. 

Both of your legs felt like lead, neither of you wanting to leave the other after years of being apart. With a smile, he moved towards the door. 

In silence, you examined him for the first time in four years. He was taller than before-- Bulkier, too. It looked like he worked out since he was in college, his plain shirt stretching against his pectoral muscles. 

But still, he was the same Shinsou Hitoshi you had always loved. 

You glanced at his bared arms and your eyes widened. “Oh, wait--! Your coat!” 

It had fallen off your shoulders and onto the floor during the heat of the moment, and you picked it up and brought it to him. As you held it out, his hands wrapped your outstretched ones around the fabric of his sweater. 

“No, it’s okay,” he said with a shake of his head and a small grin on his lips. “You should keep it. It suits you.”

You raised an eyebrow at him in warning, but hugged the coat to your body nonetheless. “I hope you know this means I’m never giving it back to you now.” 

Hitoshi laughed. “I figured.”

He was about to grab the door knob when you blurted, “O-Or maybe I could give it back to you! If we were to, I don’t know, meet up for some food this week?” 

Turning back in surprise, he was met with a look of utter embarrassment on your face. Your cheeks felt like they were on fire. 

You bit your lip, unsure what had just come over you when you asked him on a date but also not regretting it for a moment. 

“Only if you want,” you murmured, suddenly feeling more bashful. 

Taking the hint, Hitoshi looked at you with a mix of wonder and amusement. “Sure. I’ll get some food with you just to have my coat back.” 

You gasped, cheeks burning. “You know what? Never mind, I’m keeping this--!”

“I’m kidding,” he laughed, tone still teasing. “The jacket is just a bonus. What I’d really be there for is...the food.”

You buried your head in your hands and sighed. “I-- Why do I have to like you?” 

He shrugged, feeling just as lost as you were. “Because feelings are strange.” 

“They are,” you agreed. “But they’re worth it. And so are you.”

Hitoshi smiled as you gave him a gentle kiss goodnight. 

“Have a safe drive home, Toshi.”

“Thank you. Go get some sleep now, kitten. We can talk when you wake up.” 

You nodded feverishly, almost bouncing in anticipation at the thought of talking to him again. “I’m going to sleep right now so I wake up faster and get to talk to you sooner.”

A chuckle of surprise left his lips before he could stop himself. “You’re such a dork, you know? But I love that about you.”

Your face heated at the sound of the l-word as the two of you stared at each other, both in shock that the night happened and even happier that it did. 

“I… I should go now,” he said in a daze. He didn’t want to leave and you didn’t want him to, but you knew he had work soon. 

You nodded, waving at him as he left your house. “See you soon, Hitoshi.”

When the door closed shut behind him, you slumped a little. Tired and exhausted yet wishing you could see him soon. Though it might have been foolish, you couldn’t help but wish he was feeling the same.

Grabbing your phone on the coffee table, you unlocked it to check the time. You were about to shut it off and put it in your pocket when a notification bubble popped up on your screen.

“AirDrop: mememate would like to share a note,” it read, and a grin spread across your lips as you eagerly pressed accept. 

The notepad application immediately opened up on your phone and you read the small message on the off-white display.

mememate: can’t wait for our date, y/n. p.s. i really really like you.

Letting out a surprised cry of joy, you held your phone to your chest, hugging it along with Hitoshi’s jacket he had left you. 

From the other side of the door, Hitoshi had heard your scream and responded with a laugh of his own. A feeling of warmth in his heart as he placed his phone in his pocket and headed for his car. Thank goodness for AirDrop. 

Your heart was pounding and your lips were still pulsing from the way he kissed you. Even as you got ready for bed and drifted off into a restful sleep, the silly smile never fell from your face. 

You were grateful he came to get you at the nightclub, and you were grateful he was the recipient of your memes that day at the amusement park. 

He made mistakes in the past and you were no saint either, but you had an opportunity to heal those wounds and be with Hitoshi again. 

And you just couldn’t wait for your next date together. 

a/n: AHHH THAT WAS A LOT,, pls let me know what you think! i know some readers never want to forgive shinsou at all and that’s okay, but i do think y/n forgives him and still really cares about him [and maybe l-words him? o.o] so i hope u support it 🥺 ilysm and thank you for reading! lmk ur thoughts !! xx 

[helloalycia]

just a kid [one] // wanda maximoff

summary: you're a field medic at the Avengers Tower and get into an accident where you hurt your head. It was only supposed to be a mild concussion, yet things don't seem to be going right when you try to remember the accident.

warning/s: mentions of violent/dark scenes.

author's note: here’s the first of a little two-parter I worked on not long ago, hope you all like it!

part two | masterlist | wattpad

I woke up with heavy eyes and an aching head, momentarily dazed.

"Hey there, Doctor Y/L/N... can you hear me okay?"

Breathing deeply, I found the energy to clear my throat and scan the view above me. I was laying down on a bed, in a hospital room, I think. The lights were ever so bright and I now knew how annoying it felt to wake up like this as my patients had.

"What happened?" I asked, eyes roaming around until they settled on my doctor. "Doctor Maya? What am I–? Why am I here?"

I recognised Doctor Maya as a colleague of mine, though unlike me, she was a doctor who worked at the Avengers Tower whereas I worked as a field medic so was more on the move. The only reason I'd be here is if I was in an accident. Was I? I wasn't sure.

"Something happened when you were on your last mission," she explained gently. "I– hold on. I'm going to get Miss Maximoff, okay?"

"Wanda?" I asked, furrowing my brows and pinching them to relieve the stress in my head. "Where is she? Is she here?"

"She just nipped out," Doctor Maya said, before backing up. "One second, Y/N."

She left the room momentarily, leaving me to try and remember what had happened. I was on the quinjet and was getting briefed with my team. There were casualties that we had to get to and an agent– an agent I was helping, yes!

I groaned, clutching my head when I tried to remember. Deciding I shouldn't push myself so soon, I waited until the doctor returned with Wanda. Maybe they could tell me how I ended up here. I wasn't exactly injured, at least not physically and that I knew of. My head hurt and that was about it.

The door to my room opened suddenly and I looked that way, seeing Wanda rushing in wearing her civilian clothing. The doctor followed soon after, gently closing the door behind her.

"You're awake," Wanda said with relief, stopping by my bedside. Her hand rested on mine, squeezing it comfortingly. "How are you feeling?"

I smiled upon seeing her, even if she was staring at me like I was a fragile piece of glass. We'd been dating for a while now and she always had the power to make me feel better with her presence.

"I'm alright," I promised. "Just a bit confused to what happened. The last thing I remember is going into the field. Then I woke up here."

She chewed on her lower lip, exchanging unreadable glances with the doctor.

"There was a mine that detonated near you when you were helping an injured agent," Wanda explained softly, and I opened my mouth to speak, but she quickly added, "The agent is okay before you ask. But you hit your head from the impact. Mild concussion."

"That's why your head hurts and you're having trouble remembering," the doctor said, earning my attention. "You should be feeling better soon. And I've got some medication for the pain."

Now that Wanda mentioned it, I did vaguely recall being thrown back by a blast. But remembering it was like watching a film with poor satellite, the screen fuzzing around the edges and remaining unclear even though you focused hard. I was sure it would return to me soon.

"Thanks," I said, before attempting to sit up straight. Wanda helped me as I looked to her with gratitude before paying my attention back to Doctor Maya. "Am I alright to leave?"

"Of course, yeah," she said, nodding quickly. "Feel free to come back if you have any trouble. You should be okay though."

I nodded and smiled gratefully before watching her leave. Sighing, I pushed my hair from my face and looked to Wanda who was hanging by me patiently, eyes twinkling with concern.

"I'm fine," I promised her with a knowing look.

She gave me a small smile – her way of saying I'm still worried, but I'll dial it down – then moved to the chair beside the bed and grabbed some clothes.

"You can change into this," she said about the clothes in her hand, and I was sure they were some of hers; mine must have been ruined from the mine. "And if you want, you can stay with me whilst you recover."

I raised my eyebrows as I accepted the clothes. "You sure? It's nothing serious. I can take care of myself."

She shrugged, eyes avoiding mine with embarrassment as her hands played with mine. "I wanna help. I like looking after you... plus, you've stayed at mine before. This isn't any different. And you can be closer to Doctor Maya in case anything is wrong."

I weighed the decision briefly before giving in, unable to resist how cute she was when she was worried. "Okay, yeah, sure, why not?" She smiled widely, and I added, "Any excuse to cuddle with you, right?"

She chuckled. "I knew you wouldn't be able to resist."

I rolled my eyes playfully. "Just let me get ready and we can head to your room. I'm actually a little tired."

She nodded and helped me up so I could get ready. I didn't think much of the whole thing, until later that night when I fell asleep beside Wanda.

My dreams never usually meant much. I wasn't one for reading into them, nor was I one to get seriously affected by 'nightmares', knowing they were usually a concoction of bad horror films and stupid ghost stories from my childhood.

But tonight was different.

It wasn't a dream and it wasn't a nightmare, but rather a memory that couldn't exist.

There was debris everywhere, a mixture of yellow rays blinding my sight with dark shadows looming over me. Destroyed buildings and scattered bodies – none were alive – surrounded me. The heat was too much, but I had a job. I knew I had a job, but I couldn't focus because of how fast my heart was racing, beating an incessant drum in my ears, and how rigid my body felt.

"Help!" a voice was shouting. A young girl, I think – she sounded like a kid. Who was it?

Before I could make sense of anything, I heard a loud noise, like an explosion, that sounded so close yet also extremely distant. Nonetheless, my eardrums weren't spared. The mine, maybe? Was this a memory? Was this how I got hurt?

I was thrown back, head hitting a wall, but I didn't pass out. There was a figure looming over me, short, like a child's shadow, but with no visible face or features. Nothing, actually, just a dark outline staring at me though I couldn't stare back because there was nothing to stare at.

The shouts for help returned, but it was distant like the explosion. I couldn't make sense of anything, and when I closed my eyes to blink, I opened them to find debris washing over me all over again, flying in the air along with my body. It had to be the explosion, my memory returning.

This time, when I hit the wall, I woke with a start. My eyes snapped open, taking in the dark room and nightly blue hue casting over the ceiling and walls. I swallowed hard, finding my breath, and raised my hand to gently massage my forehead. An aching pain was shooting all over, forcing me to sit up as slowly as I could as to not wake up Wanda, who appeared to be fast asleep beside me.

I checked the clock beside her bed and saw it was closing on half three in the morning. I went to bed around nine, which was also when I last had my medication. Doctor Maya said I could have it every five to seven hours and when I got a severe headache.

"I guess this counts...," I mumbled to myself, before grabbing the medication and bottle of water beside the clock.

I downed the two tablets within seconds before sitting upright for a few more minutes, needing a moment to myself before attempting to get back to sleep.

"Y/N...? Are you up?"

I winced at the sound of Wanda's groggy voice, immediately feeling bad for waking her. I turned around and saw her rubbing her eyes with one hand whilst blinking away her fatigue.

"Just have a headache, don't worry," I reassured quietly, leaning down to press a kiss to her forehead. "You can go back to sleep."

"Do you need me to get you anything?" she asked, finally able to keep her eyes open long enough to meet my gaze with her cloudy green ones.

I smiled through my exhaustion. "I'm okay, love. I've had some medicine."

"Well, I can get you something to–" she began, trying to make a move to sit up, but I pushed her back down gently.

"I'm okay," I repeated sternly, before slipping back into bed beside her. Wrapping an arm around her torso, I said, "Get back to sleep."

She nodded tiredly, getting comfortable and pulling me closer to her. I felt her arm wrap around me as I snuggled closer, relaxing in her embrace.

"Wake me if something is wrong," she mumbled, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. "Goodnight. I love you."

"I love you, too," I returned, kissing the closest thing to me which was her chest. "Goodnight."

Admittedly, it was still difficult for me to fall back asleep. It must have been no longer than ten minutes when I heard Wanda's breathing and felt the gentle rise and fall of her chest beneath me – she'd fallen back asleep. I sighed, slightly jealous, but stayed close to her and tried not to think about my accident or my weird dream/nightmare. Eventually, slumber found me.

The next morning, I didn't exactly feel well-rested, but I didn't want to concern Wanda nor draw attention to it as I knew it was probably just a rough first night. Instead, I let myself get distracted with Wanda wanting to cook me breakfast.

I soon found myself in the kitchen, sitting at the island and watching Wanda cook some pancakes for us both with an endearing smile on my lips. She was still in her pyjamas like me, her red hair pulled into a messy ponytail as an afterthought, and she radiated beauty. Right there, I could only wish my future looked exactly like this.

My moment of admiration was interrupted when someone came into the kitchen, earning our attention. It was Sam, one of the Avengers and a colleague of Wanda's.

"Good morning, ladies," he greeted with a smile. Already dressed for the day ahead, he asked, "Do I smell pancakes?"

"They're for Y/N, so back off," Wanda said playfully, pointing her spatula at him threateningly.

He raised his hands with defeat as I chuckled.

"Relax, I've got a shake," he said, grabbing said protein shake from the fridge. "Enjoy your pancakes." He glanced to me, expression softening as he added, "And I hope you feel better, Y/N. I heard about your accident."

"Thank you, Sam," I said gratefully, noticing the way Wanda flinched at his words. "I'm already feeling better, so..."

"That's great," he said genuinely, before looking between us. "I'll catch you guys later."

We both waved our goodbyes to him as he left. I wanted to question what was up with Wanda just then, but as Sam left the kitchen, the door slammed shut and startled me more than I thought it would. The noise sounded so familiar, so loud, kind of like what I heard last night in my dream. It must have been the mine when it exploded, a ghost of a memory that was returning. But that didn't seem right. Why didn't that seem right?

"Hey, Y/N, you okay?" Wanda asked, and I looked up, only to notice she was now standing by my side and looking down at me with concern.

I licked my lips, nodding. "Yeah, sorry, I just... yeah. I'm fine."

Her eyes were swimming with doubt, but she chose to say nothing. Instead, to my relief, she pulled me close, giving me a quick hug which I appreciated. As my head rested against her chest, I tried to ignore the familiar striking pain travelling around my forehead.

—

It was two nights later when another strange dream plagued my sleep. Similar to last time, there was a strange combination of scenes that I was sure I remembered and scenes that made no sense. This time though, all that I could feel was a tenseness in my whole body, like I was in a frozen state and my mind and body couldn't communicate. I couldn't move, paralysed by... fear? Shock? Disbelief? I didn't know what it was, but I woke up in the same way.

I'd heard of sleep paralysis, even experienced it a few times without realising. I think this was one of those times, with my body frozen in bed beside Wanda, but I didn't know it at the time. It just felt like a horribly-real dream. The room was dark, the familiar, yet unsettling, nightly blue hue casting shadows on the wall. But on the ceiling, bright and terrifying scenes played out before me. An explosion. Debris. Screaming.

None of it made sense and all I could feel was shock, horrified at how I couldn't move a muscle even if I tried. I tilted my head, seeing the alarm clock glowing red in the dark, letting me know it was past midnight. To the left, I saw a sleeping Wanda, lost in her dreams and unable to help me. I wanted to get up, run my hands over my face, have some water, open a window, do something. But I couldn't move. All I could do was watch the nightmare dance across the ceiling as my heart struggled to beat regularly and my lungs struggled to get enough oxygen.

I didn't know how long I was stuck like that, tears brimming my eyes and body paralysed with fear. But it finally ended and I opened my eyes, only to find the ceiling blank and myself able to move. Reluctantly, I lifted my hand, wiping the tears from my cheeks. It was just a dream (or form of sleep paralysis in hindsight). It wasn't real. But God, it felt horribly terrifying.

Admittedly, I was scared to go back to sleep for fear it would occur again. So, my eyes stayed wide awake, burning with exhaustion, and I continued to stare at the shadows on the wall, feeling my heart pounding in my ears.

I must have fallen asleep again at some point, as I woke up the next morning to Wanda getting out of bed. Sitting up in bed, I looked around and found the fear of last night wearing off now that the room was bathed in the morning light. Still, I was more shaken than I thought.

Not wanting to draw attention to it though, I let the day go on as usual, deciding to appreciate the free time I had from work to spend with Wanda. We decided to go to the park for a walk – Wanda thought it would help get me out of the Tower and I was hoping the fresh air would give me some clarity and help me to recover.

Only, it did the opposite.

We were walking hand in hand, myself listening to Wanda as she chatted about something that happened in training. If I'm being honest, I wasn't really listening; my thoughts were preoccupied with the jumbled mess that was my mind. Glimpses of memories were dancing across my head, teasing me with elements of the truth I couldn't quite make out.

My eyes drifted around mindlessly, settling on a little girl playing by the swings with her parents. I didn't think much of it, but then the familiar shouts for help from my nightmare plagued my mind, making me flinch. The dark, looming shadow returned and I suddenly felt a headache coming on, the pressure against my brain making me nauseous.

I stopped abruptly, letting go of Wanda's hand. She stopped speaking, turning around and furrowing her brows with concern.

"Hey, Y/N, what's wrong?" she asked, and I winced, clutching my head to relieve the pain.

The wave of nausea left after a moment, but the headache remained. I heard Wanda repeat my name quietly, sensing my discomfort.

"I think I need to see Doctor Maya again," I finally found my words.

"What is it? What's wrong?" she asked, resting a hand on my cheek and tilting my head up to meet her eyes. "You can tell me."

Her eyes were reassuring, calming me in an instant. I wanted to tell her everything, but I didn't want to burden her with my anxieties, so I offered her a small smile.

"I just don't think my recovery is as straightforward as I thought," I settled. "She may be able to help."

Wanda chewed her lower lip, nodding slowly. Thankfully, she didn't question me anymore. Instead, she took me back to the Tower to see Doctor Maya. I was grateful as she waited with me for her to be free, until I had to convince her I'd be okay going in myself.

"Are you sure? I don't mind," she said, exchanging looks with Doctor Maya, who looked away quickly.

I glanced between them, mildly confused, but nodded to Wanda. "I'd rather go alone, Wanda. I'll be okay."

She nodded, squeezed my hands comfortingly, then let me go. When I headed into Doctor Maya's office, she took a seat behind her desk and motioned for me to sit before her.

"You said this was urgent," she spoke first, after I took a seat opposite. "Is everything okay?"

I licked my lips, looking down at my hand as it scratched the arm of the chair nervously. "No... not really."

After a moment of hesitation and partial embarrassment, since I knew this was only supposed to be a mild concussion that felt like so much more, I explained everything that happened to Doctor Maya. The odd dreams/nightmares, the headaches, the overlapping memories and sleep paralysis. As hard as it was to relive, I told her everything in hopes she had an answer that maybe I hadn't realised.

When I finished speaking, she looked distracted with her own thoughts. I waited patiently, watching as she nodded to herself before looking to me calmly.

"It doesn't seem like anything to worry about, truthfully," she said, which I didn't expect. "You suffered a mild concussion, yes, but it must have rattled you more than we thought. The dreams and trouble sleeping are a result of your headaches and returning memories. You do remember what happened, right?"

I nodded, though something felt incorrect. "I think so, yes. I was helping an agent when a mine went off. I was thrown back, covered in debris. Hit my head."

She hummed. "Yes... and you're taking your medication?"

Another nod. "Of course. I just want to get better. The sooner I do, the sooner I can return to work."

"Then it seems that your only opponent is stress and impatience," she said simply. "You need to relax. Keep taking your meds. Try not to worry about returning to work just yet. Focus on getting better. I can prescribe you some sleeping pills if you think that will help."

Sighing disappointedly, I nodded. I was expecting more to be honest, possibly an explanation. Her words made sense logically, but it still didn't feel right. Nonetheless, I didn't want to hold her up any longer, so I let her prescribe me some more medication before leaving. Maybe I'd give relaxing a shot.

—

"It's a meatball."

I stifled a laugh as I studied the oddly shaped ball of meat in Wanda's hand. "Is it?"

She narrowed her eyes playfully. "It is otherwise you're making your own meal."

I laughed, pressing a haste kiss to her cheek. "Okay, okay, it's a meatball. Add it to the tray."

We were cooking spaghetti and meatballs for dinner about six days after my incident out in the field. I was still staying with Wanda at the Tower, and I was taking Doctor Maya's advice with my recovery. I didn't worry myself with returning to work which, admittedly, helped out, and the sleeping pills knocked me out long enough to get a good sleep. Though, sometimes the nightmares would still return. I didn't think about them too much though, not wanting them to hinder my recovery. Instead, I focused on getting better with my very supportive girlfriend by my side.

Wanda added the meatball to the baking tray, alongside the others, but as she reached to form another one from the bowl full of minced meat, she accidentally knocked it to the floor. The meat splattered across the tiles, making her gasp.

"Shit," she cursed, eyes widening slightly.

"Very clever," I teased with a smile.

"Let me just–"

"I got it," I cut her off, already bending to clear it up. "Just put the tray in the oven, yeah? Try not to drop it."

"Ha-ha, very funny."

I looked up in time to see her rolling her eyes playfully, but she grabbed the tray as I said.

I kneeled down, scooping the meat up and throwing it in the bowl, knowing it would have to go in the bin now. As I did, I realised how familiar the meat looked. Pink and flesh-like, covering my hands and sticking to me. Suddenly, my hands were shaking, the fleshy bits surrounded by blood, and I tried to blink away the sight, expecting to just see minced meat, but I couldn't. They were covered in what I somehow knew was the flesh of body parts.

Startled, I fell back onto my butt, my back hitting the drawer behind me and pulling me from my daydream. Wanda looked down at me with confusion, before sensing something was wrong and leaning down beside me. She rested a hand on my head, thumb stroking my forehead.

"What's wrong?" she asked, confused eyes staring between me and my hands which were still shaking. She grabbed the tea towel from the counter above us before wiping my hands for me and holding them. "Y/N. This has happened a few times. Please tell me what happened."

I was still shaken, unsure why there was a discomfort in the pit of my stomach. I risked glancing at my hands, which were clean and no longer covered in human fle– I mean, meat.

"I don't know what's going on," I finally admitted to her, shaking my head. "It's like my thoughts aren't my own. I can't control them. I just keep seeing stuff that isn't real."

She frowned, eyes peering through mine patiently.

"I still can't remember what happened with the mine," I said, swallowing the lump forming in my throat. "It's like, I know what happened and I know it's real, but when I try to remember, it just doesn't happen quite right. The picture doesn't appear. And I don't know why."

She pressed her lips together, jaw clenching slightly. I wasn't sure what she was thinking, but her eyes wouldn't meet mine.

"What did the doctor say?" she asked lowly.

I sighed, the discomfort still lining my stomach. "She thinks I just need time."

Wanda nodded, finally lifting her gaze. "Maybe she's right."

I knitted my brows together with frustration, nudging her away and standing up. "I don't need time! I'm a doctor, too. I know it shouldn't take this long. It was a mild concussion. I've treated hundreds of those."

"Y/N–"

"Just forget it," I said with exasperation, pulling away from her as she tried to reach out again. I knew it was uncalled for, taking it out on her for no reason, but I was too frustrated with the situation to care. "I think I'm gonna go for a walk."

She sighed from behind me, running a hand through her hair. I left her in the kitchen, suddenly not in the mood to eat. Clearly all of Doctor Maya's advice wasn't working – what I was experiencing wasn't normal. I needed to see her again.

So, after cleaning my hands properly and having a walk around the Tower to clear my head (as expected, it didn't work), I headed to Doctor Maya's office, hoping she was still in work today. To my surprise, when I reached her office, I saw her door was slightly ajar and she was already speaking to someone. My intention wasn't to eavesdrop, but when I heard my name said in a hushed whisper from a familiar voice, I knew I had to stay.

"...can't say anything," Wanda finished. "She'll get better."

Doctor Maya sounded frustrated. "It's not right, Miss Maximoff. This is against everything I stand for. Against everything Y/N stands for, too, I'm sure."

"This is for her benefit," Wanda snapped, before taking a deep breath. "Look, she can't handle the truth. It'll break her... I haven't worked out the kinks, but it'll be okay. She'll get better."

What the hell were they talking about? What truth could I not handle? Wanda and the doctor were in on something together, something they didn't want me to know... and it was something to do with why I was feeling like how I was. I knew I wasn't going insane – something was wrong!

I left them to it with plans of seeing the doctor afterwards, not wanting to get caught, and tried to wrap my head around the fact that Wanda had been keeping something from me this whole time. How could she? I didn't want to jump to conclusions, but I thought that we could trust each other.

What was she hiding?

[prettyboyoongs]

You Get High for the First Time | Jeremiah Bruce

Your boyfriend’s band played their music loudly in Lex’s basement, the vibrations going through your body as you sat on the floor. With your back against the wall and your eyes on your boyfriend beside you playing the drums, you felt your heart stutter. He always looked the happiest while drumming.

“Wait, wait, hold on,” Trip yelled, making you jump. Jam held his drumsticks in the air, stopping himself from continuing. Lex and Hawk both stopped playing guitar, Hawk’s voice cutting off abruptly. “I messed up. We gotta start over.”

“I didn’t even hear it, man.” Jam shrugged.

“Yeah, I thought we were doing pretty good, man.” Lex said. Trip groaned in frustration, throwing himself onto the bed.

“We weren’t. I keep messing up, man. I can’t get that one chord right. It’s starting to piss me off, man.” He rubbed his hands over his face in annoyance, earning an encouraging slap on the knee from Hawk. He sat up, searching the sheets around him for something before asking who had the bong last.

“Oh, shit man, here. Sorry,” Jam apologized. You grabbed the bong off of the table beside you for him, handing it to Trip. Jam rubbed at the back of your neck and squeezed in appreciation.

“Thanks, man.” Trip muttered, taking it from your hands and going to light it before cursing under his breath. “Shit. You forgot to change the water, Jam.”

“Here, just give it to me. I’m going to take a piss anyway. I’ll just fill it up in the sink when I’m done.” Hawk shrugged, holding out his hand.

“Hey, man, you staying tonight?” Lex nodded towards Trip, setting his guitar on the stand before sitting beside him on the bed.

“Probably. My mom won’t notice,” Trip replied, shrugging. “What about you, man? You haven’t stayed at Lex’s since like, March, man.”

“Yeah, I can probably stay. My mom has a meeting until six. She hasn’t let me stay since she smelt weed on me that time. She just wants a reason to get me in trouble, man.” Jam sighed heavily, standing up and stepping off of his seat. You stayed seated, comfortable and warm.

“Do you want to stay or do you want me to take you home at midnight?” He turned to you, his eyebrows raised at his own question.

“I’ll just stay here with you guys if thats okay with Lex’s mom.” You replied, nodding towards the stairs.

“She won’t care. You’re good, man,” Lex said to you before turning back to Jam. “You don’t even get to live a normal life, man. I feel bad for you, man. Shit must suck.”

“I only got two more years and I’m out, so.”

“Here, dicks.” Hawk interrupted, holding out the bong after shutting the bathroom door. He looked at you while Trip tugged it out of his hand, winking to tell you he didn’t mean you. You smiled. “Should be good for another hour or so.”

“Nice. Thanks, man.” Jam said, watching the boys have their turns before it came over to him. You watched as he took a hit, sucking it in heavily before blowing it out. You gulped. He always looked so hot smoking. “Wanna get in here, babe?”

“Oh, I don’t know, I-” You started.

“Come on, man. You’ll like it.” Trip whined, motioning for you to come over. You bit your lip nervously, looking at the rest of the boys. Hawk and Lex stayed silent but were smirking, as if challenging you. Jam sat there patiently, just holding the bong out towards you like an invitation. “Come on, man.”

“Okay, okay.” You sighed, standing up and making your way over to the bed. “I’ve never..” You grumbled when Jam went to hand it to you.

“Here,” Jam whispered, grabbing your waist and tugging you towards him. “Put your mouth here. Yeah, thats good. Just make sure no smoke comes out; make sure your mouth is covering it all.”

You wrapped your lips around the top, trying to make sure you were following all the directions. Trip snickered at your inexperience, making you pull away and smack him across the chest. “Shut up, Trip.” You growled, your voice full of insecurity and nervousness.

“Don’t pay attention to him. Just put your mouth back on and I’ll light it for you, okay?” Jam spoke softly, pushing a piece of hair behind your ear. You nodded. You watched him light the bowl, the smoke dark and cloudy. “Now you suck in.”

You listened, inhaling a small amount. You watched Jam grab the bowl out as he instructed you to exhale. You nodded, your cheeks halfway full of stinky smoke. You breathed it out in Lex’s face, coughing before you could apologize.

The boys laughed and clapped around you, Jam and Hawk smacking your back as you coughed into your fist. “Look at you go, (Y/L/N).” Trip teased, elbowing your knee. You smacked him blindly, still coughing.

“You inhaled too much. You gotta be careful, man.” Hawk chuckled, shaking his head at you. You squeezed your eyes shut as your throat burned, the cough settling. “You really went for it, man.”

“Jesus Christ.” You muttered, your voice raspy and deep. Your throat itched.

“Yeah, you inhaled too much. Here.” Jam handed you his cup of water from the table, watching as you chugged it within seconds. You handed the empty cup back, wiping at your mouth before shoving the bong away from you. Lex took it from you, laughing and shaking his head. “Sit down.” Jam laughed softly.

He grabbed at your waist again and pulled you onto the bed, sticking you between his legs. He spread them for you so you could fit, squeezing them back once you seemed comfortable. “You okay?” He whispered in your ear as you watched Lex hand the bong to Hawk.

You nodded. “Yeah. My throat was just scratchy.” Your hands rubbed at your neck, trying to give it some relief. Jam pressed a kiss to the back of your head as you scooted backwards to get closer to him. He met you halfway, pushing his chest against your back.

Lex handed the bong to Jam, turning his head and exhaling the smoke behind him so he wouldn’t be blowing the smoke directly in your face. You felt guilty knowing you had accidentally blown it in his face but he was being generous and making sure he was keeping it away from you.

Jam wrapped his arms around you and attached his lips to the bong, lighting the bowl above your head. “Come here,” He whispered, his voice raspy and deep as it was full of smoke. He tapped your arm.

You turned around, watching as he grabbed your face and pulled you towards him. He pressed his lips against yours but before you could kiss him, he was blowing the smoke into your mouth. You gasped and your eyes flew open, staring into your boyfriend’s eyes. They were a little red and swollen, but chill for the most part.

“Jeremiah.” You whispered in disbelief after blowing the smoke out. You wiped at your mouth with the back of your hand but Jam just leaned forward and kissed you again (properly this time).

“Here. It’s your turn.” He said sweetly, handing it to you. You moved into a more comfortable position beside him, Lex scooting over to make room for you. Jam watched you intently to make sure you were doing everything right, a proud smile on his face.

You lifted the bowl, looking up at Jam to make sure you were doing it right. He licked his lips and smiled down at you, nodding. You inhaled and set the bowl back before holding it out for Hawk to take it from you. You exhaled after a few seconds, your lungs expanding and your throat feeling lighter than before.

“You’re high, now, huh?” Trip laughed, making you blush. Hawk laughed at the redness of your eyes. Lex leaned into you to see your face, snickering quickly after making eye contact with you.

“Feel good?” Jam asked with a giggle in his tone. You just nodded, unsure of what to say. It felt as if everyones eyes were on you (they were).

For the next twenty minutes or so, the five of you passed the bong around before you pushed it away from you when Jam went to give it to you. You shook your head, pushing his hand away from you. “I-I’m okay.” You said.

“Okay, baby.” Jam nodded, grabbing you by your shoulder to press you against his side. “You okay?” He whispered in your ear, pressing soft kisses on your cheek as you nodded.

“Yeah, just tired.” You whispered back, pushing your head underneath his chin to slide your head onto his shoulder.

“You go to sleep, then. Hey, pass me that blanket, would you, man?”

Your eyes were so heavy you couldn’t open them to see who he was talking to. You felt a breeze of cold air hit your body as one of the boys tossed you a blanket. Jam unfolded it just enough to cover you enough, wrapping it around your shoulders and making sure your body was covered.

You cuddled more into his shoulder, his arm wrapping around you to keep you stable. Within minutes, you were out.

“You guys ready?” Hawk asked the boys, setting the bong on the table. They nodded, all standing up from the bed to get back to their instruments before Hawk nodded towards you. “What about sleeping beauty?”

Jam looked down at you and pulled a stray hair from your lip where it stuck. “She’ll be fine. She’ll sleep through the whole night, I bet. Help me lay her down, man.”

Hawk and Jam weren’t the closest friends in the group, but you and Hawk were pretty close so the two boys bonded more after you got with Jam. Hawk nodded, helping your boyfriend lay you down on the bed and covering you up with the blanket. Sensing you were comfortable enough, Hawk stood up and walked over to the boys.

“Goodnight.” Jam whispered to you, pressing an almost nonexistent kiss to your pouty lips. He, too, then followed suit and gathered with the rest of the boys.

He was right, too, for the most part. They practiced and you were completely still, totally out of it. It wasn’t until the four boys laughed at Trip’s antics did you start to stir.

“You’re a fucking moron, man.” Jam laughed, making Lex and Hawk laugh even harder themselves. Your boyfriend’s voice pulled you from your slumber, your eyes opening slowly. You hissed at how heavy they felt.

You sat up, rubbing at your eyes with your fists. You noticed they had turned out the light and had turned on the lamps, the moonlight from the large basement window shining on the bed. You looked at the clock on the wall, groaning when you saw it was only half past one. It felt much later.

You wanted to get up to pee but your eyes were so heavy you couldn’t keep them open. You laid back down, deciding to just go back to sleep. You turned over, pulling the red blanket to your chin, nuzzling further into Lex’s pillow as your body shivered.

You closed your eyes and fell back asleep quickly, the boys’ voices behind you as they laughed and talked about some idiotic thing Trip did. You fell in a rather deep sleep this time, only waking up because your bladder couldn’t hold anything in anymore. When you woke this time, all the lights were out except for the small blue fairy lights hanging from the walls.

You squinted towards the clock, seeing the time was just a little past three. You looked around the room for the boys, your heartbeat racing at the thought of being left alone in Lex’s basement alone at night. You could just barely make out the two bodies on the couch bed across the room, the one curled on the chair, and the one laying beside the bed you were laying in.

You breathed a sigh of relief after seeing they hadn’t left you. You sat up and rubbed at your eyes, a lot less heavier than before. Your throat was dry and your stomach growled. You gulped, pushing the blanket off of you as quietly as possible.

Looking down at the floor, you tip toed around the big lump hidden underneath the large comforter. You made your way to the bathroom, flicking on the lights before hissing in pain. You shielded your eyes and squinted, looking back at the boys to see if you had woken them up.

The light allowed you to see them better. They were all asleep, still, unbothered. You smiled sweetly at the sight of them. Hawk and Trip were sprawled across the couch bed, Lex was in the chair, and you could barely see blonde curls poking out of the blanket on the floor.

You closed the bathroom door softly.

Feeling more awake than before, you opened the door and turned off the lights quickly, skipping back to the bed eagerly. You smiled widely at the sight of your boyfriend. You lifted the comforter up just enough to squeeze yourself in beside him. He stirred slightly but after a few seconds you could hear his snores continue.

You placed the comforter back over his body like he had it before, assuming he was as cold as you were earlier. You curled up behind him, pressing your back against his as you tucked your legs inbetween the space of his own.

Before you could even try to go back to sleep, you felt Jam groan beside you, twisting and turning before turning his front towards your back. “(Y/N)?” He whispered, lifting his head up to look down at you. You smiled and scooted yourself back, connecting your back with his chest. He laid his head back down against the pillow, wrapping his arm around you loosely.

“I had to pee.” You whispered, your heart flipping from nervousness. You don’t know why you felt so shy all of a sudden but you did and you hated it.

Jam chuckled at that. “Cause you drank so much damn water.”

“The smoke was making my throat dry!” You retaliated, softly slapping the hand on your stomach.

“I know, I’m just fucking with you,” Jam whispered, his tone more soft and sweet. “How do you feel now?”

You shrugged, placing your hands on top of his and mindlessly playing with his fingers. “I’m definitely not as tired but I’m really hungry.”

“I know, we almost ordered a pizza a little past midnight but we didn’t know if anyone was open. We were hungry, too.” Jam sighed, making you smack your teeth at the mention of pizza.

The two of you stayed in silence for a couple of minutes, just breathing and thinking silently. “Why did you sleep on the floor?” You asked, your voice hesitant and soft.

“You just looked so comfortable I didn’t want to move you over. Plus, I didn’t know if you cared or not and I didn’t want to wake you up and ask. You were so tired.”

“I wouldn’t of cared.” You said immediately. Your boyfriend smiled at your words, scooching closer to you until your noses touched. “I love you.”

Jam looked at your eyes before looking down at your lips, which you licked instinctively. “I love you,” He whispered. “Come here.” He smirked, nodding his head towards himself. You smiled, leaning forward when he wrapped his hand around the back of your neck.

He pressed his lips against yours, his thumb rubbing at your jaw. Your heart burned and you ached for your boyfriend. You scooched closer until the two of you were pressed against each other awkwardly. You slid your fingers into his hair and kissed him harder, making his breath hitch. His knee pressed your legs apart, making you gasp into his mouth.

You pulled away from him, your cheeks red at the sound and eyes dilated and still red from the weed. “I’m not going to want to stop if you keep going and they’d never let us live if they catch us.” You whispered.

“I know,” Jam whispered back, his hand rubbing at your hip. You bit your lip. “I just really want to kiss you.”

Your heart soared. “I fucking love you, kid.” You smiled before grabbing him by the neck to connect your lips again.

[physicalturian]

[18+] The thrill of the chase - Nanami Kento X Reader

[She/Her pronouns used for the reader; No physical description. Everyone is 18+] [No spoilers from the anime nor the manga]

Words : 8951

Archive of our own

Inspired by this art on Twitter and this one on TikTok

Tags : Fluff / Smut / Roleplay / Hair-Pulling / Soft degradation / Prey/Predator / Chase / Powerplay / Power dynamics / Punching / Impact play / Marking / Unprotected Sex / Spit kink / Choking / Play fighting / Cockwarming / Overstimulation / Begging / Submission / Blood kink / Edgeplay

Summary: Nanami comes home all bloody after taking care of some curses. You confess finding it hot to see him in such state and things take a twisted turn...

-“If you’re so feisty, show me some of that energy little mouse. I don’t think you realize you’re trapped yet,”

Taking a bath was supposed to be relaxing. And most of the time it was but knowing that Nanami was late and still not home made it harder to unwind.

While I was submerged by burning water, music playing in the background, I kept my arms out of the bath to avoid withering like a prune. My eyes were closed as I tried to think of anything but the possibility of my partner being wounded, I trusted him, he knew what he was doing… But I also regretted his change of career. He was a lot safer in the confine of corporate bureaus. But who was I to say anything? He seemed a lot happier being a sorcerer than doing stock market.

I drummed my fingers nervously on the side of the bath, humming to drown my thoughts, taking in the nice fragrance of the bath bomb I had threw in the water. I could still hear the fizzy sound it made as it dissolved, amidst the popping sounds of the bubbles on the surface of the water. Taking a handful of bubbles, I huffed to myself, “I’ll clock out before 6pm, he says” I grumbled, letting them fall back in the water “I don’t do overtime, he says” I said, imitating his gruffy tone. He could at least text if he were on his way home, I thought as I leaned back, eyes closed.

“There was a small set back, I am here now.” I was startled by the voice by the door, I quickly leaned against the tub to cover myself and sighed when I saw it was Nanami. “You scared me-“ I stopped mid-sentence and looked at him in a mix of shock seeing how bloody he was but also slightly pleased by the sight. I did not want to tell him that seeing him all bloody like that had an effect on me, and it was not justworry. I hid a smile behind my palm.

I gulped when I saw him unwrap his tie from around his fist, it was covered in blood like his suit. He had a habit of doing that when he fought, I never really knew why since he would still end up with bruised knuckles. While his face was speckless, his hair wasn’t, and his suit was ruined. I was about to get up and check on him when he stepped closer and told me to stay in the bath. “I need to make sure you’re okay, Kento,” Huffing, he gave me a half-smile and let his jacket fall to the ground as he gazed down at me.

No matter how long I had known him, I would never get enough of the sight of him in his white dress shirt with his harness. It had a charm I couldn’t quite describe, perhaps it was the way it defined his muscles even more or the contrast of the black on the white. It looked exquisite on him. Sitting on the edge of the bath, he grabbed his weapon from the harness behind his back and put in on the ground before looking at me. “I’m ok,” he reassured me as he placed one of his hand on my thigh.

It was a huge contrast of temperature with his freezing hand and my burning skin, but the worse was the intense look he was giving me as his hand slid further in. Deeper in the water, higher on my thigh. I brought my knees together to stop his hand from going any further and whispered his name in a warning tone. His reply was to tighten his grip, he had rolled up his sleeves and looked even better than moments ago. “Tell me to stop,” He breathed. I don’t want to, I thought. Instead, I played it off.

“You keep ruining your suits, we should buy black ones, it’ll be easier to remove the stain,”

I heard him hum as he moved his hands to his harness, letting go of me. I was disappointed but did not say anything, we could take a bath, relax and just enjoy one another’s company. “Perhaps should I change my entire outfit?” “No, no, the shirt and the harness stay,” I reacted too quickly, only realizing after that he had a small smirk on his face, that he was baiting me.

“Is that so?”

Chuckling, I sunk deeper in the water, “I mean, the harness holds the weird bat you got, right? So…” I trailed off. Nanami replied, deep in thought, “A polo shirt would be very comfortable-“ “Ken! Polos are ugly, you’re already on thin ice with the blue shirt and leopard printed tie,” I heard his laugh, then the muffled sound of something hitting the rug on the floor. I glanced his way and saw he was very slowly unbuttoning his shirt, his harness was on the ground. The slowness was not to make me yearn for him, no, he was in pain.

I quickly got out of the bathtub almost tripping as I did so, I ignored the cold hitting my skin and moved his hands from the buttons, “I can do it, dear,” He whispered. “Just because you cando it, doesn’t mean I can’t help you.” I replied, moving his hands once again when he tried to do it himself, instead I settled them on my hips and heard a low satisfied groan from his throat. I took a deep breath to stay composed, but I couldn’t help but feel something lighting up in me.

When I had finished unbuttoning his shirt, I shrugged it off his shoulders and took in the sight. It was once again with mixed feelings that I enjoyed it. He was gorgeously sculpted, but also covered in bruises. “You grow reckless when you do overtime, you shouldn’t rush things Ken…” I mumbled, checking if there was anything more than bruises. “The bruises will be gone in a few days,” He brought me closer against him as he said so, I wrapped my hands around his neck and saw the red that tainted my hand when I caressed the back of his head.

Pushing him away, I huffed and was about and went to grab my bathrobe, “You should get cleaned, take a bath and relax,“ “Then get back in the bath, I’ll join you,” He told me while unbuckling his belt. I paused in my steps and turned around to look at him with an inquisitive look, “Ken, I don’t think it’d be practical if we are going to do that…” When he finished undressing he stared at me with a certain hunger in his eyes. My eyes traveled from his eyes to his lips before looking at his blood-covered hair and knuckles.

Nanami held my hands in his, effectively bringing my attention back to him. A smirk was painted on his lips. “That being? A bath, with my lover, hm?” I rolled my eyes and nodded, slightly disappointed but lead us to the bath. Before I could step inside, Nanami said he’d get in first, that I should sit between his legs. “It should be the other way around, I’m not missing the chance of washing your hair, okay?” He chuckled lowly in response and told me to ‘get in then’. When I did, he stood in front of the bath a moment. I believe he was taking in the sight, and the longer he stood there, the more self-conscious I was becoming.

I made a beckoning motion with my arm and told him to join me. “Careful it’s hot,” I said hurriedly, with his hands on either side of the bath, he lowered himself into the water, I heard him hiss a bit. It could have been because of the burning water, or maybe the pain, whichever it was he did not complain. He gave me a sight I enjoyed greatly, but I held back from squeezing his ass and let him make himself comfortable. With his back now against my chest, I asked him to lean forward, which he did without a word. Like that, I let my hand roam on his back a moment. I noticed the marks around his back, it traveled to his front, I could see it on the side of his chest.

I let my fingers travel the redness, thinking of how it could have happened then it struck me, “Ken, your harness is too tight around your chest,” I whispered, as I wrapped my arms around his torso and kissed different spots on his back. I heard him sigh in content, the tension in his body visibly going away as he relaxed his form and let his hands fall in the water to hold onto my thighs. “It’s the point, that way it doesn’t move. The marks never stay long,” He stated. He had started rubbing my legs slowly. At first it was his hands wrapped around my legs, then he only trailed a few fingers along my skin.

I jerked my leg away to stop him, laughing when I told him to not do that. There was some playfulness in my voice, he knew I was not mad. “I’m not missing the chance of having you fully naked, so, unless you tell me to stop…” With a bit of a struggle, he turned around in the bath. He was still between my legs, but this time he brought me closer to him by pulling my ankles and wrapping them behind his back. My breath hitched when I felt him against me, more than just the skin. Keep it cool, there is no way I’m fucking in a bathtub, I thought.

Ignoring the closeness, I leaned back to grab the shampoo and bumped it against Nanami’s chest. “If you still have some energy to be like that, then wash your hair first,” I huffed. There was a funny feeling in my stomach when he smiled at me and bent over enough for me to see the top of his head, “Do it,”

“It would have been more practical if you hadn’t turned around,” I grumbled as I poured water over his hair before spurting some shampoo in my hand and started lathering his hair, “Don’t complain if the shampoo gets in your eyes- nor if your neck hurts because it’s entirely your fault,” I huffed, earning a low chuckle from the blond man. I rolled my eyes and suddenly gripped his hair tight when I felt his hands wander on my lower stomach before adventuring higher and brushing his thumbs over my nipples. “Ken! Don’t start,”

“Oh angel, you started this long before I did,” He said smugly. I couldn’t see his face, but I quickly rinsed off the shampoo and combed his hair back with my hands before lifting his face. “That’s entirely false, you did,” I said, falsely offended. Reaching behind me once more, I grabbed the washcloth and dipped it in the water, only to have big hands take it from mine and lead them to his higher thighs. My breath hitched once more as I looked up at him with a warning look, but I did not say anything.

A smirk was displayed on his lips as he guided my hand to his cock, then let go when I wrapped my hand around it but did not move. “I never realized until now,” he started, tucking a strand of hair that stuck to my skin behind my ear. “That seeing me in such a pitiful state turned you on,”

My eyes widened and I heard him chuckle breathlessly as he told me to go easy with the grip on his cock, I let go not having realized I had tightened my hand. “I never said that; Did I?” And here I thought I had been subtle, but it wasn’t that at all. He had feigned ignorance since he had saw me look at him too intensely. “I’d say the needy look in your eyes, and excuses to touch me, speak for themselves. Wouldn’t you agree?” I did not reply.

Instead, I shrugged and grabbed the washcloth once more, then poured some body wash on it before handing it to my partner. He pushed it back towards me, and leaned back in the bath, arms resting on either side of the bath, “I’m too sore to do it myself, would you mind?” He was good at keeping his emotions in check, he wasn’t smiling smugly, or anything as such. No, he kept his face neutral, but I knew he was being a little shit in his own way.

I smirked, “Of course,” he smiled back gently, but we both knew it wasn’t a real smile, no. He would be looking at each of my movements, ready to have me at any moment. He ran his hand through his hair and rested it back on the rim of the bath.

Scooting closer, I moved to sit on his lap, making him stretch his legs in the length with the space I had freed. “Tell me if it hurts,” I said before gripping his chin roughly, making him look at me as I cleaned his face. I felt him clench his jaw and had to hold back a smile. I avoided his gaze the entire time, focusing on cleaning before throwing him a side glance followed by a mischievous smile. “Careful,” He just said, not moving, simply letting his gaze follow me. I quirked a brow in reply, humming in a questioning manner before continuing cleaning up.

I started by his shoulders and sliding to his neck where I let my fingers wrap around his throat a bit longer than it was necessary. I felt his hand caress my back before settling on my lower back, “I said, careful,” Nanami said as he let his head fall back on the back of the tub, his eyelids almost closed as he looked at me from that angle. “Am I hurting you?” I asked innocently. I moved to clean his chest, knowing full well the moment I’d dip my hand inside the water, I’d have an advantage.

“You’re awfully daring tonight, does the sight of me drenched in blood turn you on that much, my love?”

“If anything, it annoyed me to see your suit ruined, Ken,” I huffed. When I went to wash him lower, Nanami took hold of my wrist and stopped me. I looked up at him confused and was met with a look at told me he was clearly not having it. Dropping the washcloth on his chest I sighed, “Alright, maybe, yes. Can you blame me?” I admitted. It made him chuckle as he brought me closer to him, his hands on my ass as he pressed me right against him. “Tell me more about it,” He whispered as he kissed my neck gently, leaving a trail down my collarbone before going up again.

I let out a breathless laugh at the feeling of his breath brushing over my skin along the lightness of his kisses. Both my hands were now resting on his shoulders as I leaned the side of my head against his, “I never get to see you fight,” I started, my fingers sliding over his collarbone to caress the base of his neck. “It’s for the better. If you did, that’d mean you’d be in danger,” He explained.

I sucked in my teeth, “That’s not what I meant, you’re right but I meant like…” I could feel my cheeks heat up as time went by, no matter how I worded it in my head, it was bound to sound strange the moment it’d leave my mouth.

“You’re strong, it’s hot, you’re good at being a sorcerer… And I know you enjoy the fighting, so I can’t help but think of the faces you’re making when you’re enjoying a good fight. A fight that’d leave you breathless, sore, aching all over,” I looked down at him and cradled his face in my hands as I tried to roll my hips only to be kept on the spot by Nanami’s hands. “The adrenaline pumping in your veins, your heart beating faster and faster as it tries to keep up with your ecstatic state. The rush of seeing them taken down, of knowing you were stronger than them,”

I ghosted my lips barely above his and held back a smile when he parted his lips, “Maybe you didn’t break a sweat, maybe you did, but in the end, it left you drenched in blood that isn’t yours, you’re the one left standing. You’re good at this and you could keep going until exhaustion takes over, I know it” I kissed him tenderly, smirking when I felt him trying to deepen the kiss, but I pulled back and grinned wider. “But you never do, you never let it take over, because you have to come home to me,”

“I’m starting to think there’s an underlying meaning to this speech,” Nanami hummed as he started rubbing my back gently, pouring more water over my freezing skin. A smile grew on my face as I let a hand wander down his torso very slowly, letting my fingers brush over his happy trail. “I’m just saying… that maybe you still have some energy left for some fun,” I grabbed his cock underwater and suddenly found myself with my ass on the bottom of the bath as Nanami got up and wrapped a towel around his waist. “Get out,” he said while handing out his hand for me to grab.

As he helped me out of the bath, he handed me a towel. I knew there was a huge grin on my face when I wrapped the towel around my form and pulled Nanami closer by his towel. He slapped my hand away, I could only chuckle in response. “Bed, now,” he stated. It sent electricity coursing through my body. I stood in front of him a bit longer, trying to gauge the mindset he was in. I wanted him on edge, I wanted him to go all in, ���Don’t you worry, I got the message,” he started, sauntering closer. He lifted my chin roughly, just as I did earlier.

“You’re enjoying this a lot, when I’ve barely done anything,” He let his hand fall to his side and tugged off my towel, leaving me stark naked in front of him. “Stay like this, get on the bed, kneeling,”

The smile on my lips was portraying the same emotion as my laugh, nervous. “I don’t think you got the message,” I whispered, earning a loud sigh from my partner. “Looks like I need to get you there myself,” I did not have time to complain that I was lifted off the ground before being thrown onto the bed.

By the time I sat up, Nanami had his back turned on me and was in front of the wardrobe, already halfway dressed. “Ken, I’m confused,” I was about to get out of bed when I heard him tell me to stay there.

As he was buttoning up his shirt, he looked at me with a smile. “Tell me, my dove,” I perked up at the sweet name and moved to the center of the bed, kneeling. “Does it turn you on because you know I had to go full force?” He asked as he moved to the drawers and pulled out a leather harness that he shrugged on, buckling it on the front before looking at me with the same small smile.

“Or maybe is that whole speech more of a way to hide that your dirty little secret…” He finished by slipping on a pair of black leather gloves. He had not put on his tie, but he was now fully dressed, while I was completely nude. “Is that you want to feel the thrill of being chased…” He walked around the bed slowly, leaning over slightly to grab the paddle that was resting next to it, against the wall. He was now on my right, I did not want to look too needy, but I was starting to feel excited, yet I didn’t move when he went to grip my jaw and made me look at him.

“…Of being preyed on.”

I hated myself for the sound that escaped my throat, it made Nanami’s smile widen. “Is that it? You want to be dominated in the most carnal way, to be rendered defenseless,” I did not reply.

“Tell me your safe word, now” And I did, making him smile proudly. “So, you can speak,” he breathed in fake surprise, a few seconds after, Nanami was pulling my legs towards him and had me on my back as he kept my legs spread by settling himself between them. “I almost thought I had already scared you from so little, it would have been disappointing since you’re not yet as vulnerable as I’d like you to be,”

With both of his hands on my knees, he spread my legs wider and looked between my legs with hunger before letting his eyes trail back to my eyes. “And not nearly as afraid, from the look on your eyes you’re still too confident. I’ll wipe that smile off your face,” My breath hitched, I regretted the excited smile on my lips when it made Nanami frown as he gripped my knees tighter before dragging me off the bed.

His hold on the paddle handle changed as he rested it on his shoulder. He looked down at me with a half-smile. “I like this better; the floor is less comfortable than the bed, isn’t it?” I nodded and leaned back when the blond leaned forward, dropping his arm holding the paddle so that the tip hit the ground. It startled me. “Good, I don’t want you comfortable, fear comes when you’re out of your comfort zone,” He looked me up and down, a few strands of wet hair falling over his face.

I could feel my heart beat faster, it only increased when he suddenly crouched in front of me, the paddle now being used as a place to rest his chin as he looked at me intently. “I think you need an incentive, so here,” He held out his hand for me to grab and helped me up my feet. I looked at him confused. I was slowly growing uneasy from his actions; they did not make one drop of sense.

Once I got to my feet, he pulled me towards him and wrapped a hand around my throat when he got closer to me before whispering right next to my ear, his teeth grazing my lobe. “You have two minutes to hide, if I find you…” His fingers dig into the side of my throat, elating a muffled sound from me. With the strength of his arm, he got me to my tiptoes by lifting me even a little bit, his hand still around my throat. I held onto his arm to try to stay balanced and get him to let me go, which he did, almost making me fall to the ground. But I caught myself.

Nanami sat down on the end of the bed, setting the paddle on his lap. He leaned back on his hands; I couldn’t help but ogle how good he looked like that. He made sure to wear exactly all the things I told him I liked once, and the paddle on his thighs was the best accessory I could hope for. “Don’t let me find you, little dove,” He emphasized his word by running his fingers over the handle. “Don’t get me mad either,” I heard him well, I understood what he meant, and it sent thrills running down my spine.

When he looked up, Nanami quirked a brow. He then looked at the watch on his wrist then back at me, “You have one minute and a half left, I suggest you get going little dove, unless…” His gloved hand tightened around the handle once more. Leather against leather made a sound all the more appealing to my ear, I went to take the towel left on the floor but thought against it when Nanami tutted me, “You stay like this, go,” He shooed me.

I scurried off.

I felt self-conscious, running around the apartment naked, trying to find a hiding place but I also felt overwhelmed. This was Nanami’s choice of furniture, his choice of decoration, and all of this was one thing: minimalist. Nothing was made to hide in or behind. Part of me wanted him to find me, just to see what he’d do, to see his powerful look as he looked down at me before dragging me from my hiding spot. But then, I wanted to see him get frustrated as he’d try to find me.

I needed to see him lose his composure, get frustrated. I had to think fast, to know what I really wanted out of him. The thud of my feet on the cold floor was all I could hear at first, though it did not drown the louder sound no one could hear, my heartbeat.

I quickly grabbed the blanket from the couch and opened the closet door. That’s when I heard a voice call from the bedroom when I entered the living-room and peeked under the sofa. “Thirty seconds left,” Fuck fuck fuck, I thought in panic as I crawled inside the closet. I made sure to close it silently behind me, before sitting in the deep corner and throwing the blanket over my form. Now this was not the type of hide-and-seek I did as a child, it was… better.

Now hidden, I let the remaining seconds pass, and soon enough I could hear the sound of Nanami’s steps around the apartment. “You better be hidden little dove, I do love a good chase,” He was walking slowly, scaringly so. Quiet enough that I really had to pay close attention if I wanted to hear anything. Along his footsteps was the repetitive sound of something hitting the palm of his hand. It wasn’t the paddle, if it had been, the sound would have been blunter. But it sounded more like a sharp, cutting sound.

I was buzzing with excitement, my blood pumping more and more with how eager I was. We had done a few rougher sessions before, but I wanted to see how it’d turn this one around, and I was more than willing to let his creativity run free. His steps seemed further away, so did his voice when he spoke loud enough so that I could hear him no matter where I was in the apartment. “I’ll applaud the effort you put in your hiding spot, and while I do love the chase,” I heard him groan as he slammed something shut, startling me in the process.

“I do grow tired of hide-and-seek pretty easily,” he continued like this for a few more minutes, his tone growing more and more impatient, more unnerved as he spoke. His steps were heavier on the ground, faster too, he was pacing, he was doing comes and go around the place and suddenly, it all stopped when he stepped inside the living room.

No more talking. No more taunting. Nothing.

It was eerie. For a moment I thought he was done, then I heard what I believe was the TV. Is he for real? I thought in astonishment. I peeked out from under the blanket that covered my form and silently crawled to the door, placing my ear against it. He had indeed turn it on. I sighed in disappointment and opened the door slowly to surprise him and gasped loudly when I was met with a smug smile. Nanami was crouching in front of the closet. I looked him over, noticing the paddle was resting in the holster where his weapon would usually be, and instead in his hand was a riding crop.

He was holding it in his delicate fingers, as his forearms rested crossed on his knees, “What better way to bait the mouse than to make it believe the threat is gone?” My stomach dropped, I could either back away inside the closet or try for a run. The latter seemed like a better option, one that avoided me ending up cornered. Smirking, I threw him the blanket and push him and went for it.

I don’t know what I was thinking. That wouldn’t stop him. I hadn’t even made him fall back, he simple sighed angrily. I had barely stepped out of the closet that I found myself gripping the back of the couch when Nanami grabbed my shin and made me lose my balance. “A stupid move,” he grunted. I tried to get back up, but he stood up and forced me to let go of the couch, effectively making me fall to the ground.

A groan escaped my lips when I met the floor with force. When I tried to sit up, I was pushed down once more by Nanami’s shoe. It wasn’t too strong, as long as I complied.

And I did.

“Tell me, what’s your color little dove?” He asked in a low tone. The tip of the riding crop was being grazed along my form as I tried to get him to move his foot away, my hands wrapped tight around his ankle. “Green- let me get up-“ “I’m not ‘letting you’ do anything,” He spat as he pressed a bit more on my torso before removing his foot and crouching next to me, a hand resting still on my chest to keep me down. “Fight for it.” He said it in a way that made it as the most obvious solution.

I stuttered, raising a brow in confusion. He smiled. It wasn’t heartwarming, it was reassuring, it was mocking. It made my blood boil. When I was about to reply, he gripped my jaws strongly making me clench my teeth in annoyance. “Maybe I should be clearer, after all you are a bit… slow tonight,” I frowned. “When I say don’t take the towel, it does not mean take the blanket,” he stated as his eyes wandered from my lips to my throat.

If I listened to him any longer, I’d start feeling bad for not obeying him, which was not correct in this situation. So, I clawed at his hand that was now tightening around my throat, “Let- go- of- me!” I gasped through heavy breaths; he wasn’t budging. “Do you need a hint?” He asked with a condescending smile, I did not reply. “Hit me.” My eyes widened, I let go of his hand and instead held his wrist. Not knowing if he was joking. After gauging a bit longer, I came to the conclusion that he was dead serious.

I was starting to feel dizzy, from lack of oxygen… and from arousal. It was strange, but I couldn’t ignore how great it felt, “Ken-“ “Fucking do it, fight for it- or beg, I’d be pleased by both outcomes,” he paused and moved to straddle my lap, his knees supporting most of his weight.

With hesitance, I raised my hand and pushed his face away. He only laughed in response, he did let go of my throat, both of his hands sliding to the nape of my neck. His fingers threaded through my hair as he lifted my head a bit from the ground to make me look at him, “A rougher incentive seems necessary, you’re still too comfortable,” He leaned in and ghosted his lips over mine, whispering to not forget my safe word as he pressed a short kiss on my lips before leaning back.

He took hold of the riding crop once more, not yet taking the paddled out and let it trail over my nipples very slowly. I arched my back for more, my eyes closed then yelped at the burning sensation on my skin when he struck me. I gave him a scowl, he grinned lazily. “If you’re so feisty, show me some of that energy little mouse. I don’t think you realize you’re trapped yet,” I did not have time to reply, he struck me again. I yelped in pain/pleasure.

“It feels like you’ve surrendered already my dove, was it that easy to get you to submit?” When he did not get a reply and rose his arm to strike me once more, I pulled him by the front of his shirt and tried to roll him over, only to be laughed at when held my wrists in one hand and pushed me back, hands over my head. “You’re not trying, you’re humoring me, it’s pitiful,” He said with a scoff.

The thought of hitting him was becoming stronger and stronger, I wanted to see what he’d do in response. But I couldn’t do this anymore, he had me pinned. He either read my mind or had something in his, but for some reason he let go and started unbuttoning his shirt.

I took this opportunity to use my knee to hit his back, before punching his jaw with all my force. A shaky breath escaped his lips, not one of fear, but of excitement.

That attempt had not changed anything of the situation I was in, if anything it only angered him more. With his face still half turned to the side, I could see the growing smile on his lips. He slowly turned around; His lower lip slightly redder than before. “You’re getting the hang of it, but you’re still bad at it. Here, try again,” He faced the other way, giving me his other cheek.

“Ken I’m sorry-“ He interrupted me by guiding my hand into a fist to his cheek, “Right here,” he hissed. “Make it worth it, it’s your last opportunity to get the upper hand, then it’s my turn,” I wasn’t going to do it until he took out the paddle and struck my thighs with force, smirking, “Next is your stomach, stop me,” Two thoughts clashed inside my head, the first was, let him do it, the second was, no way. I acted on instinct and punched his jaw with force before gripping the back of his hair and pulling it.

He winced, I took the chance to slide from under him and escape quickly. I barely missed the hand that reached out for my ankle, an exhilarated sigh left my lips. I made a run for it, but instead of cornering myself to the bedroom, I stopped on the other side of the couch. I would mirror Nanami’s opposite steps, making him more and more frustrated. I noticed the wiped blood on the back of his glove along the one that seemed to be tainting his teeth when he smiled in the most threatening and primal way.

Seeing him away from me, seeing how I was in a safe position, seeing that I was not losing just yet… it all pushed me to taunt him, “You can’t reach me, it’s funny isn’t-“ I stopped mid-sentence and felt my heart dropped when Nanami simply jumped over the couch and sauntered over me, his eyes darkened with arousal. He seemed more than thrilled by this whole thing, I knew it the moment he opened his mouth, I kept mine shut tight. “Hilarious. But I don’t see you laughing much, little dove…” He said slowly.

His hand rose oh so gently to cradle my face in his, “Submit,” his whispered. I shook my head. His hand slid to the back of my head once more, except this time he took a handful of my hair and started walking away, pulling me by my hair. It wasn’t too painful, as long as I kept up with his pace, which I did. He threw me on the couch and struck my back hard with the paddle. “The hard way it is,”

My partner crouched next to me, I did not move from laying on my stomach, before he could speak, I spat on him and grinned. He closed his eyes a moment, wiping the saliva off while getting up once more. “I was going to give you one last chance, but it seems your spirit isn’t broken yet. Sheer force seems to be the solution, don’t you think little dove?” He brushed my hair gently, then struck my back hard. I let out a moan and buried my face in the pillow to try to muffle it before speaking up.

“I have a high- pain tolerance sir- fuck,” I swore under my breath. I heard him laugh genuinely, breaking character for a second at my mistake. I was so used to our power dynamics that it rolled off in times of… pleasure. “Let’s see how high, remember,” I thought he was going to remind me of my safe word, instead he said, “The words are: I submit,”

I huffed. “Am I hearing them from you?” I asked playfully.

It earned me another strong hit, this time with the riding crop.

I felt Nanami’s gloved hand brush over my sore back, taking in the damage. The feeling of the leather on my skin felt so good against the burn I was feeling. “You’re getting off on this too much, let’s make it more fun,” He whispered as his hand slid between my legs, “Pain won’t get you begging, but pleasure will,” His fingers slid between my lower lips to finally meet my clit as he started stimulating it tentatively at first.

It wasn’t the right spot at first, so I turned around and grinned proudly, “I think you’re better off hitting me if you’re not going to hit the spot-“ I swore under my breath when he put just the right amount of pressure, making me feel a shiver all over my body. Nanami laughed mockingly but did not stop, he skillfully played with my clit. He lifted my ass up to get a better angle but gripped my hair forcefully to keep my head in the pillow and not lift myself up on my arms. “This spot, right?” He breathed, satisfaction dripping from his voice.

I only whined in response. When I tried to move my ass back to get more friction, Nanami placed a knee on the couch and stopped me from moving with his hip. He kept me in place, his fist gripping my hair even tighter. “You’re a fucking handful, should I let you cum to appease that silly little greed of yours?” He grunted against my ear, I could feel my eyes roll back as I was getting closer and closer. “Yes, please, yes, yes,”

He pulled his hand back, and slapped my ass hard, probably leaving a mark. He let go of my hair and let his hands trail back to my waist where they stayed as he bent over my back and spoke, “I thought we agreed I wouldn’t let you do anything,” I breathed shakily as I turned my head to look at him the best I could. “Frustration suits your face well, little mouse,” He said softly, his eyes darting to my lips. I caught a glimpse of the real him there, until he got closer to my face and licked from my neck to my cheek, “Let’s see how long it’ll take you to beg for release,”

When he said that, his fingers went back to my clit, nothing else. I did not get any friction; he did not even deign giving me any sort of pleasure from his cock. Through moans and gasps, I looked over my shoulder to catch of glimpse of him as he pressed once more onto my back while his other hand was between my legs. “At least fucking remove the gloves, Ken-“ My voice went a higher pitch when I talked, forcing me to hide my face in the pillows to muffle my moans.

“Tell me if I’m wrong,” I heard Nanami’s gruffy tone as the speed of his fingers increased on my clit. “But it looked like you thought you had any say in what I was doing,” His breath was getting heavier just as I felt my legs shake the closer I got. Nanami saw it and slid his fingers away. I groaned out his name in frustration before moving my hand between my legs, only to have it slapped away. “My, my, already taking matters in your own hands?”

I was startled when I felt the cold texture of the riding crop brushing from my shoulders to my back, to slowly slide between my legs. I gasp when he pressed it just slightly at my entrance before slithering to my clit and striking it, earning a high-pitched moan from me. “I wonder how much you can take before it’s too painful to even touch it, shall we see?” Hearing him so cocky ticked me off, and while I could feel the pulsing of my clit, desperate for more, desperate to get off, I felt a spike of fighting spirit before all.

When Nanami went to touch me once again, I tried to kick him, all while moving my arm to push his from my back. He did lose his balance but caught himself by gripping both of my legs as he pulled them so that my pelvis was finally touching the couch. I had barely time to realize what happened that my legs were in a deadlock between his as he straddled the back of my thighs. One of his hand wrapped around my throat, bringing my head back enough that my throat was perfectly exposed. He rose on his knees, still behind me, and lowered his face to mine in that same angle.

I was seeing him upside down, but I could also smell the blood I had drawn when I hit him. It was intoxicating, in the strangest way. My back hurt from being arched like that, mixed with the pressure on my neck… it felt delightful. “What a pretty sight, twisted like a useless fucking ragdoll,” I gasped at his name calling, not ready to admit it sent a jolt of pleasure through my body. Brushing a finger over my chin, Nanami kissed me roughly, smiling along the kiss as his tongue delved into my mouth but it was as passionate as it was quick. “Beg me to fuck you,” he growled against my lips. I only whimpered in response, forcing myself to keep my mouth shut.

He did not like it.

Nanami pressed against my ass, rolling his covered hips against me. He then brought a gloved hand to my lips and said, “Take it off,” talking about the glove. I opened my mouth and gently nipped the tip as he pulled his hand back. The glove was snatched out of my mouth and thrown on the low table before his fingers returned to my mouth and forced my mouth open. “I haven’t been playing fair, have I?” He asked rhetorically. I knew there was something behind this question. And yet, I shook my head, making him grin wide. “It’s only fair I return what you gave me,” I quirked a brow at his word then the pressure on my throat was gone.

His hands were unbuckling his belt, “You stay like this, I have you right where I want you,” When I heard him groan upon freeing his cock from his pants, his remaining gloved hand returned to my throat and tilted my head backwards once more, “You’ve been a fucking pain,” He grunted as his free fingers brushed against my hole, I bite my lip to hold back the smile I felt upon winning. “How are you feeling right now, little mouse?”

With a strained voice, raspy even, I said, “Green, and proud to see you succumb first,” I said with a wicked smile. Nanami mirrored it, but it did not hold the same pride. No, it was disturbing, it did not match his following actions when he stopped touching me. “Is that what you think is happening? Let me tell you one thing,” he paused, and I heard him groan as I felt his movements behind me, he was stroking his cock a few times. I suddenly felt it press against my entrance and let out throaty moans when he slowly slid it in.

“I love tests. Testing how long you can hold before begging to come,” He started as he sheathed himself inside, he wrapped his arm around my waist and started playing with my clit, elating loud moans from me, “It feels good, doesn’t it?” I nodded; My eyes closed as I focused on the pleasure. Another gasp left my lips when I felt him fully in. When I was about to move to get the friction, the hand around my throat tightened. “I’ll be testing how fucking desperate you are for my cock, you’re not allowed to move unless you submit, understood?”

I threw him a deadly glare and smirked mischievously, “Try me,” then I gripped a handful of his hair and pulled him back. Nanami hissed, with the arm that was around my waist he brought mine down and tilted my head back once more, his face hovering over mine. “I pulled your hair, you pull mine, it’s fair,” He stated, his voice dripping with ire, his eyes then darkened, “You spit…” He started, opening my mouth with a gloved finger, I heard the sound before realizing it. He closed my mouth afterwards and covered it with the palm of his hand. “I spit, now fucking swallow,”

I tried to get his hand off my mouth, but he kept it there until he was sure I had swallowed, that’s when he added, “I can feel you walls clenching around my cock, it looks like you’re enjoying being treated like filth,” He leaned back, and pushed my head into the pillow, his form unmoving inside me. I wanted more than just that, I wanted to feel his hands gripping my waist tight as he’d fuck me from behind. I leaned back, to try to get something from it, only to be struck down.

The snap of the riding crop meeting my skin echoed in the silent room and was soon joined by my painful moan. “Two words, say them. Or do you not understand what’s going on here?” Without moving, his hand met my clit once more while the free one held my hips in place, he resumed his earlier work and my moans were now full whines, my poor clit felt like it was burning from the overstimulation it was getting. Nanami continued, until he felt my walls clench around his cock, that’s when he stopped and laughed breathlessly. “That’s three times, I can go on, but can you?”

I tried to reply, but my response was muffled by the pillow. Perhaps it was for the best, but Nanami wasn’t having it. He gripped a handful of my hair once more and pulled my head up, “Stop mumbling, articulate,” He ordered. I looked away, pressing my lips tight. “Alright, let’s see how well you fence after the fourth time, shall we?” He never let go of my hair and used his free hand to touch my clit once again, I couldn’t muffle my panting this time. My mouth wide open, loud moans, I couldn’t bear another deception.

“Please,” I uttered.

“I didn’t quite catch that,” He said with a bit too much pride in his voice, “Need I remind you the words?” He asked as he pressed his lips delicately against my temple and gritted through his teeth, “Go ahead little mouse, say it,” I wasn’t saying it. I felt his lips turn into a smile, his fingers hadn’t left my nub, and it had gotten unbearable, each of his graze against it felt like it burnt so when he bucked his hips into me one time: it was enough to make me succumb.

“I submit- Ken, please, no more, I can’t-“ I panted, tears of frustration streaming down my face. A satisfied growled escaped Nanami’s lips, “Atta girl, let’s get you fucked properly,” He let go of my hair, effectively making me fall back on the pillow. His hands brushed over my back a few times, as if he was assessing before going forth with what he had planned. He paused, then settled his hands on my hips and started ramming inside me animalistically.

Each of his thrusts were met with a whimper, that very angle made him reach the right spot easily, but it wasn’t enough yet. I felt like he was holding back, “Ken- my back-“ Confused, Nanami slowed down his movements and leaned in, keeping himself in role, “Speak up little mouse, I can’t hear you over how fucking loud you’re whining,”

I swore in pleasure under my breath among the tears, he knew what he was doing, and I could feel my face heat up more than it already was. I quickly got hold of myself and sobbed, “Mark me, let it out,“ Nanami had now stopped everything and seemed to be gauging how I was doing, a flicker of the real him showed on his face before he returned to his role once more. “Look at you, crying for more. Desperate to be ruined, to be dominated,” He delicately tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, it did not do much with how messy my hair was, but it was soft, nonetheless.

“I’ll oblige,” With a kiss pressed on the back of my head, Nanami then did exactly what he promised. His thrusts were more carnal, his hands, now both gloveless, were painting my back with claw marks as he used my back as his canvas. I was not aware of much of what I was doing, but it felt so fucking good. I was moaning and crying at the same time and seeing how Nanami seemed to get even more turned on from the sight, I was led to believe he enjoyed it as well.

He kept that pace up, but soon enough we both reached our peak. Through heavy pants, I begged Nanami to cum inside me, which he happily complied to. The mix of pain and pleasure made everything stronger, I felt my eyes roll back and my legs shake, as best as they could from being held down, then nothing. Pure bliss.

I kept my eyes closed a while longer, letting Nanami pull out and do as he pleased. He probably got changed and went to get what he thought was necessary to take care of me.

Then I believe I fell asleep a few moments after that, I don’t know how long but when I woke up, I was wrapped in a comfortable bathrobe. A blanket was draped over my form, and something was resting on my stomach. Looking down, I saw Nanami’s hand lazily draped over it.

I then looked up and saw my head was resting on a pillow on his lap. He was sitting on the couch, watching the TV. When I met his gaze, he smiled in the most charming way, “You’re awake, it seemed it tired you more than I thought it would. We’ll be more careful next time,” He said softly as he kept his eyes on mine.

We stared at one another a while. Not saying anything, not needing to, or maybe wanting to. But it wasn’t awkward, it was comfortable.

Nanami broke the silence first, “Did it meet your expectations? I find myself believing you’ve been thinking about this for a while, maybe a fantasy?” He asked, his hand absentmindedly brushing over my stomach.

I smiled tiredly, “Oh it did, it’s hard to get into it at first… And I wouldn’t be against being thrown around more. Safely… ish, of course…” I paused, not believing I was feeling embarrassed after what we had done. “But you were definitely great, thank you for engaging in this… I guess it could be defined as a fantasy,” It felt too serious to thank him like this, but I did not know how other way to do it.

“I did not think it would have been necessary to say it, but clearly you seem to be thinking I only did it for you,” He looked at me with a loving smile, “Which I partially did, but I do enjoy seeing you struggling under me. And I definitely enjoyed this, more than you think,” I quirked my brows in surprise at his word, the small smile on my lips betraying the shock and showing the excitement that returned. “However, I must apologize for the soreness you’ll be feeling, I treated everything, but you’ll definitely be sore for a few days… Maybe a week, you tell me,”

I moved on the couch to see in how much pain I was and hissed when my whole body screamed for me to stop. “Yeah, okay, I feel you. A week, more like a month. I say next time we try something tamer, what’s your fantasy?” I asked tiredly, snuggling closer to him as I wrapped my arms around his waist.

Nanami chuckled softly and caressed my cheek gently, “Let’s talk about that tomorrow, we might need to buy new things,” He said half-jokingly.

“Is it a uniform?” I asked as I fell asleep.

“It might be, I am a simple man after all…”

I think I laughed, but I was too tired to remember. Maybe I’ll let him ruin a few more suits if it led to this…

[calumxkisses]

Dancing In The Sky | a.i.

pairing: ashton irwin x reader

genre: fluff to angst

warnings: death (not main characters)

summary: request - Hi!!! It’s very morbid but, I really want one with ash or cal, where they’re in one of the boys house just the boys and their girls, and then the reader receive a call in the middle of the conversation telling someone in her family is dead and she just in shock and she tells them, and the he hugs her and she breaks!!! Thanks

a/n: recently my granny had to be rushed to the hospital and i thought i was going to lose her - luckly it didn't happen. i felt this request particularly close. i always say 'i love you' to my grandma before hunging up on the phone (we live pretty far away from each other) and i thought about what would happen if i forgot to say it, not knowing it would be for the last time. i'm sorry to anyone of you if this triggers you. i love you.

you should read this imagine while listening to: before you go

➳

The light coming in from the window on your right illuminates the whole room, it’s late afternoon but the sun shines almost as if it were noon. The scorching heat has now passed, there is a breeze that cools the air and spreads the scent of the grill in the garden, alternating the scent of grilled vegetables and steaks throughout the house. The pool water is still moving, the inflatable flamingo is wedged near the pool stairs and you can still see the tracks of Michael's wet feet near the diving board.

Halsey's songs are repeated at a low volume, but the guys sing them out loud and a smile forms on your face as you see how they are always ready to support their friends, not only publicly with tweets or instagram stories, but also in private, enjoying music like normal people do.

You hold onto the sweatshirt Ashton gave you as you grab your cell phone from the sofa and put it in your shorts pocket. Your hair is still wet from the shower you just took and it’s leaking few drops of water as you head outside, where your friends are starting to set the table for dinner.

You don't know how it happened, you have vague memories, but you feel grateful to have them around you, to have the opportunity to consider them as a second family, to be able to hug them and to be able to laugh with them. It is a fortune that not everyone has and you make sure you don't waste this opportunity.

“Honey!” Ashton yells, shaking his hand up and looking at you with an amused look. A few tufts of hair fall in front of his face and with one hand he tries to move them back, only to find them in front of his eyes again. His swimsuit is now dry, his chest is red from staying under the sun all day but his tattoos still manage to stand out in the tan and a huge smile covers his face.

Seeing him so happy, confident, at peace with his mind and in love with life, warms your heart and you almost feel like crying of joy in seeing him like this.

You wiped his tears, hugged him under the covers and held him a million times as his demons took over, when mirrors became enemies and food scared him.

You turned off his cell phone every time he read comments about his body and spent sleepless nights keeping him company while he vented his frustration by playing the drums.

You held out your hand to him while accompanying him in his battle against himself, you kissed him as he went through hell and his joy was worth every single tear.

You are proud of him, of the way he went back to wearing his favorite t-shirts and of the way he has come to love all his flaws, even though you're still sure he doesn't even have one.

As you leave the house, a cool breeze passes through your hair and you instinctively close your eyes to be able to appreciate the moment of coolness in the terrible heat of the last few days.

When you open your eyes, amazement takes over your body: the sky is not simply blue like the water in the pool you've been in all afternoon, but pink and orange clouds cover it completely; the sun hides behind them, tinges the sky with more intense colors and you feel your soul leave your body at the sight of so much beauty.

The sunset is so mesmerizing that you don't even feel the need to pick up your phone and take a picture of it, it's so beautiful that you're sure not even the best cameras would be able to capture such a marvel.

It’s a pink and orange sunset, bigger clouds are the backdrop to smaller more intense colors and the skyline of the city is slowly tinged with black, the lights of the buildings begin to see each other more and the world slows down as it prepares for the quietest hours.

The sunset arouses familiar, nostalgic, certainly not typical emotions in you; it’s so beautiful that you feel like you are living a dream, you pinch your arm lightly to make sure you are awake but Ashton's laugh reminds you that it is reality and, with that melody in the background, you understand that the difference between dream and reality is not that big.

And even if it were a dream, you know that dreaming never hurt anybody.

As the sunset surrounds you in a warm hug, a small white butterfly begins to flutter around you, spinning around and bringing a smile to your lips. The insect is small, but in the orange sky it stands out in an important way, making you feel like a Disney princess. You stretch your hand up, raising your forefinger and inviting the little butterfly to lean on it and, without fear, it leans on it, resting its wings and showing itself even more beautiful than you thought.

It’s white but at the corners of its wings it has black spots, its gaze seems to be directed towards you as its antennae move delicately. A sense of awe and wonder makes its way inside of you and you slowly bring the butterfly closer to you so you can admire it better, noticing how safe it continues to feel with you.

“Is everything alright?” Sierra asks as she sets the plates on the table, she's too busy to notice how you seem to be in symbiosis with the butterfly.

“Yeah.” You whisper while the insect continues to stay on your finger, motionless, leading you to feel a sense of peace in the moment you are living.

Suddenly, while the blue sky is giving its space to the dark night, the butterfly takes off and, after making another turn around you, heads towards the sky and merges with the lights of the stars.

You walk back to your friends, still confused about what just happened, and you see Michael trying to move the fire bowl to the corner of the pool. “Mike, if I were you I'd be more careful, you're not the luckiest person when it comes to fire.” You smile and you hear your friends laughing out loud as a grin appears on Michael's face.

“Don't worry, Crystal has seen enough tv shows about doctors to know what to do if I get burned again.” He replies looking at his girlfriend and laughing.

“Shut up and come here,” Crystal responds by pretending to be offended. “Dinner’s ready.” her lips try to hold back the smile that is forming on her face.

You sit on your boyfriend's lap while Luke sets the meat on the plates and Sierra pours the beer into your glass. Ashton pushes your hair to the side and kisses you on the neck, giving you goosebumps and getting winks from his friends.

“You’re terrible.” he replies while looking at them and squeezing his hands on your lap, his head resting on your back while he rolls his eyes and smiles. Everyone burst out laughing and the sound of their laughter still feels like the most beautiful melody to you.

As you are about to take your first bite, your phone starts ringing and vibrating inside the pocket of your shorts. You put your fork down and stand up, being careful not to trip over Ashton's feet as he gives you a questioning look. You give him a kiss on his head and you go away slightly from your group so you can hear better.

Your mother's voice is low as you bring the phone to your ear, a smile forms on your face to hear the sound of her voice but the world collapses on you a few seconds later, when her words become understandable while she cries.

The conversation is short-lived, it is mostly made up of your mother's sobs and words you never wanted to hear. Your mouth opens slightly and your heart seems to stop. And when she closes the call, you have a hard time figuring out if you are having a nightmare or if you are still in reality.

“Was that your lover on the phone?” Calum smiles as you stare at your phone screen as soon as you hang up the call. You look up and see everyone's gaze on you as your eyes start to pinch.

“It was my mother,” you take a deep sigh as you try to find the courage to speak. “My grandmother died a couple of hours ago. She's gone and-” and the words die in your mouth.

Your friends' smiles quickly transform as their brows rise and their eyes lose their light. Crystal is the first to hug you, in less than a second her arms are around you but it's all so surreal that you can't even find the strength to move your body. You hear whispers, but your ears are muffled as Ashton takes the place of your best friend and holds you close to his chest, kissing your hair and whispering words of comfort.

It all happens so fast that you struggle to metabolize, it seems to you that the whole world has stopped or is going too fast, it is hard to try to understand as your mind repeats your mother's words all over again.

You talked to your grandmother the day before, you described to her the weather and you told her all the projects you had in mind, including going to see her as soon as possible. She had told you some stories from her past because she knew how much you loved hearing stories from other times and then you said goodbye to her in a hurry because someone had rang the doorbell.

You didn't tell her you loved her and your heart breaks even more at the realization that she left without knowing the affection you felt for her.

Did she know you loved her? Did she know that she was the most important person to you? Did she know you were grateful for all the sacrifices she had made to make you happy? Did she know you were proud of her? Did she know you loved the way she kissed your hands? Did she know how much you cared about her? Or did she pass wondering if you loved her?

If that were the case, you would never forgive yourself.

Part of you, however, is aware that behind those wrinkles and trembling hands, there were years of wisdom and intelligence and that, even when she was sick, she knew that you loved her unconditionally.

You still remember how she was the one who taught you to ride a bike when your parents were too busy working, how her hunched back bent even more as she pushed you along the street outside your childhood house, letting you go on your own when you learned, while still lying to you about how her hands were attached to the bike, to make you feel protected.

You certainly still remember the way she bragged about you, how she proudly used to tell all the ladies at the grocery store that you were her niece, her greatest joy and the best gift she ever received.

And, if you close your eyes and focus, you can still feel the warmth of the old fireplace in her home, of her hands holding yours while your face was resting on her shoulder. You can still hear the sound of burning wood, of her sweet voice singing melodies belonging to past eras while, between one verse and another, her lips kissed your head and whispered words of love.

Most of all, you have memories of how her arms wrapped around your little body when there was a thunderstorm, when the screams inside your house got too loud and when you saw her again after weeks, with your hearts coming back to beat in unison and your lungs beginning to breathe again.

Now that she is gone, who would be by your side? Who would teach you to cook and sew?

You would no longer hear her heart beating when you leaned against her chest, you would no longer hear the sound of her breaths when you slept next to her, you would no longer wake up with the smell of the flowers she grew and, above all, her dry, wrinkled lips would no longer whisper “I love you” to you.

All the fights, all the moments when you were bothered by her calls and all your snorting about the boredom of being with her bring a pang to your heart that tastes of guilt and arrogance, of shame and wasted moments that won't come back.

She was now gone, her heart had beaten for the last time and her eyes had stopped shining and the more time passes, the more her absence starts to hurt.

While your friends are around you to not leave you alone and Ashton hugs you tightly while caressing your hair, everything seems to start to make sense: the butterfly that just moments before had leaned on your hand, the sunset so beautiful and intense - she was there, she was giving you her last goodbye with all the delicacy possible.

She was reassuring you that she will always be there for you, that she will be in the sunsets under which you will fall asleep and that she will be the butterflies that will fly around in the sky, to reassure you that everything’s gonna be alright.

And with this new certainty and a weight in your chest that will slowly go away, you let yourself go, the tears begin to roll down your face and the sobs echo in the silence of the evening, as the stars light up the sky and God gains a new angel.

Ashton knows it won't be easy, that it will be months before that pain will become more bearable and that family lunches and dinners will be harder, that that empty chair around the table will be a stab in the heart every time.

But he also knows that you are strong, that you will be able to overcome everything, that sadness will turn into a smile when you’ll remember her and that, whatever happens, in a way or another, he will always be there next to you, just like your grandma used to be.

—