#spring panic

[ange-writes-if]

Hi! I said I wanted to write more words for the demo but turns out it might sabotage my assignements if I keep writing the demo instead of studying (who would believe it?), so here it is now I guess :)

─── · 。ﾟ☆: * DEMO .☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

please note that the MC is very young and subdued by their family and social isolation! they will have more personality and more choices as they grow older and meet people.

[stopper-my-heart]

Nick's moments of panic under the umbrella in Heartstopper S1E4 before Charlie kisses him really get me. So I wrote a thing in second person to try to appreciate the weight of the emotions that I imagine Nick is experiencing.

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You’re into this boy. So into him. He’s been in your thoughts. . . a lot. You've been talking all the time, you keep wanting to see him, and whenever you do, it’s never enough. You can’t help but smile when you think of him, let alone when you see him.

You want this boy. Romantically. You don’t really know what that looks like, but you know it’s true.

And, it seems, he wants you, too.

Your first kiss was good. Really good. All those tingles and flutters and sparks that you felt from just being close to him were amplified into so much more. It was so much better than you could’ve ever imagined.

And then you panicked. You screwed it up. You ran. You went back, but it was too late. You need him to know that you don’t regret it, that you wanted it, that you want him, that you were (are) just freaking out.

You try to be calm, you try to keep your cool. (No need to embarrass yourself in front of your crush.) Plus things are a little weird, restrained, and understandably so. He's probably really hurt. You need to get this out, you need to explain. You can do it.

And then he begins apologising. It quickly becomes clear that he has this all wrong. That he’s wildly misunderstood, rewritten what has happened. You were there because you wanted to be, because you chose to be. Yes, you were scared — are scared — but he has this all twisted.

Charlie.

Charlie!

Charlie.

He's not getting it. So you kiss him.

You make sure he knows what’s going to happen, and even if he seems very confused, he responds readily enough. You attempt to pour all of your feelings into him, to get across all of your regret and sorrow for hurting him as well as (maybe especially) how much you do want this. And for a moment, he loses himself in the kiss. You understand, you do too. Kissing him is just as good as you remember.

And, well, it’s too late for being cool now. You just kissed all your emotions into him, practically begging him to understand; you’d best explain what those emotions are in the hopes that he properly will. (Besides, this isn’t just “your crush”, this is Charlie.) You can’t leave him standing there so lost and confused. You may be confused, but he deserves to know that that confusion isn't about him.

So you start to explain…and then it all comes out. You’re vulnerable in a way you can’t remember being before. There’s no one in your life you can talk to like this, especially not about this. And it’s really been messing with you. Because not only has this boy's presence in your life already begun to upend everything, but you're so much happier because of it. And what are you supposed to do with that? What even would your life be if it were entirely different? Do you even want it to be different? . . .Maybe. But it’s scary. But you want him. And you want you.

So you tell him this, more or less. Really, you cry into his chest. Is this too much? Is he overwhelmed? So much for keeping it cool, keeping your cool. But you need this. He seems okay, he seems to get it. The friendship you’ve built is there, it can handle difficult things — it already has. He seems to want to be there for you. So you let him, and he lets you, and things are hard but they’re better in this moment. You’re finally seen and understood, and maybe Charlie now understands why you ran away, that it wasn’t about him, about the two of you.

. . .But now what?

You want him, but being with him will indeed upend every single facet of your life if other people know. You’re not ready for that, you can’t face that yet. It's too much. Everything is still so new and confusing. You don’t want to ask, but you want to be with him and you don’t see any other way to do that right now except to…keep this a secret? He finishes the thought for you. "Yeah," you concede, unhappily, but owning that that’s where you’re at.

He agrees, he tries to reassure you; you’re not completely convinced, but you want to believe him, so you let yourself.

And there's that question again: Now what?

There have been a lot of emotions and things are a little weird, even if a lot better, and you want to say something, or to touch him, but this is new and you’re meant to be leaving and���best to just go. The awkwardness will fade eventually. You’ll figure out how to be in this new dynamic. For now, you’re wanting, but you don’t know how to do anything more than that (would he want you to?). So you smile at him through the awkwardness and start to walk home.

. . .

. . .

What. Just. Happened.

This is good, but awkward, but good, and he wants this too, right? You’re together now, right? You’re really getting to be with him, with this boy you want so much, with Charlie. This is happening?

And then you hear it: Charlie calling out to you. Feet slapping on wet pavement.

“Nick!”

You stop, startled, confused, off-balance. What’s happening? He’s smiling, but.. What could possibly be worth running out into the rain in his pyjamas for? Has he changed his mind already? Does he not want this? Is keeping it a secret too much?

The doubts and fear are filling your mind, but you try to rein it in, to not let it show, to not let him see.

And then he looks back at you. And you know, in an instant, that everything that you wanted for your goodbye, he wanted, too.

Right? Please let you be understanding this correctly. You look at his lips, once, twice — you can’t help it. You’re desperately hoping that you’re on the same page, but barely daring to believe it.

And then he kisses you.

And the world stops.

.

.

.

.

And this is it. This is right.

Charlie.

This boy just ran out in the rain to kiss you. He’s soaking wet, he must be freezing, and here he is, kissing you. That’s the only reason he came out after you. To kiss you.

He smiles — that amazing smile of his that lights up your whole world — and then he runs off again.

There’s no more room for thoughts, only feelings. Massive feelings that well up inside you. So much sentiment that it feels like your heart is bursting.

You thought you were off-balance before? Well now you’re practically drunk.

What have you gotten yourself into?

Maybe the best thing ever.

[ifourloveisdead]

Notable bands in emo music history from Alternative Press, November 2017.

[the-fire-might-be-shooting-at-us]

"Nick protecting Charlie <333" WHAT ABOUT CHARLIE "I'm going to do everything I can to make sure Nick doesn't have to deal with what I did" SPRING??? PUT SOME RESPECT TO HIS NAMEEEE

[rivalmelty]

quick hyrule redraw of this (which is just a redraw of this) bc i am literally drowning in inks for my junior thesis and i wanted to do something messier but it also defo made me feel so good about my growth as an artist so im ready to do more homework this week :’D

[tori0704]

How long till season 3???? 🥹🥹🫠😍🍃🍂🍂🍃

[thecryptidart1st]

Wanna know something that just gave me a crisis? (/hj)

Events of FNAF 3 would be taking place this year.

i’m aware

[tinydancerfreelancersblog]

*Ahem* What I'm trying to say is, I need more emo/scene friends. And/or just friends. :'(

[beaft]

everything is super uncertain and scary right now, so i'm trying very hard to not think about the future and just focus on the things that i want to happen. the concrete things.

i want to be in a space of my own that's clean and safe where i am surrounded by objects that are beautiful or meaningful to me. i want to be in a body that feels natural, a body that i can love instead of tolerate. i want my friends to be a short train or a bus ride away. i want to make art and write stories. i want to go on long walks in the summer and look at the animals and flowers. i want to sleep in a tent by the river. i want to make good food for myself and for the people i care about. i want to have a job i don't hate that pays me enough - not lots, just enough - that i can afford to be independent without constantly panicking over money. i want to feel at peace with where i am instead of agonising over where i'm not.

all of these things are achievable. maybe not all at the same time, maybe i can just have a couple of them, but they are achievable. i will not always feel this way. i will not always be trapped like i am now.

[sqwidknee]

Welp you know the seasonal depression has kicked in when I start watching Heartstopper again 🫠

[unwilling-souls-if]

SO. Here’s a tentative intro post for my secondary IF project! I aim to drop a small demo in the following two weeks, I’ll see where this takes me :)

｡+ﾟ☆ﾟ LINKS (TBA): - DEMO - PINTEREST -

[ this is a secondary wip! my main project is Unwilling Souls on @unwilling-souls-if ]

Spring Panic is an interactive story about a talented and affection-depraved spellcaster, with elements of slice-of-life. Navigate through ancestral feuds and familial pressure in a colourful magic world. You'll have to deal with extremely serious matters, such as choosing the meal of your talking cat or what flowers to grow in your garden.

Follow and shape the Main Character from birth to early adulthood, and become the best witch this world has ever seen (or don't. Maybe you'll crave something else 🌟)

TW: The game contains depictions of emotional neglect (of the MC and their brother), (optional teenage) alcohol and drug comsumption, references to bullying.

｡+ﾟ☆ﾟ CUSTOMIZABLE PARTS:

~their name

~ gender identity with separate pronouns, and the ability to transition between childhood and teenagehood, or during teenagehood

~ general physical appearance

~ most relationships

~ magical preferences

｡+ﾟ☆ﾟ SET PARTS:

~ emotionnally stumped by anxiety and pressure

~ their love for their little brother and their best friend

~ sensory issues and overloads

~THE FAUNEUS FAMILY— yours. [ detailed post here ]

~GATSBY. Your familiar. He's a talking black cat. And a prick.

~SANEM. A tired spirit that haunts the woods of your middle and high school. They're bored and sardonic, but at least they're like that with everyone and not just you.

~THE COUNCIL. [ detailed post TBA ]

~THE VYPERLYN FAMILY— the one your family hates. [ detailed post TBA ]

note: the story follows the MC's life. Some ROs are met during their childhood, some later.

note pt2: detailed character sheets will be posted later for each RO.

｡+ﾟ☆ﾟ CERISE. (she/her, only romanceables by f!mc and nb!mc)

tropes: childhood friends to lovers, idiots in love

-Character sheet-

Cerise is the daughter of a witch and a fairy. The both of you had no friends. What started as a tentative first-try at friendship quickly became an unbreakable bond. Cerise wiped your tears more times than you could count, and you held her hand during hard times.

｡+ﾟ☆ﾟ BARTHELEMY "Please-don't-call-me-Barty" VYPERLYN (he/him)

tropes: academic rivals to lovers, possible one-sided ennemies to lovers, Romeo and Juliet/ stars-crossed lovers

Barthelemy has been made your rival by your families, your schoolmates, and the council. When they come back from a childhood abroad, they immeditaly snatch the first place that you occupied. Oddly enough, he's one of the few people that treat you with respect.

｡+ﾟ☆ﾟ DAPHNE (she/her)

tropes: enemies to lovers, ice queen, forbidden love

Daphne is a fairy. More than that, she's the fairy that everyone loves and fawns over. She smiles and backstabs like she breathes, and she has dug her nails in the metaphorical throne of Amaranth Institute. She wants you out of her way, but you recognize in her the familiar cracks caused by unbearable pressure.

｡+ﾟ☆ﾟ ASPEN (they/he)

tropes: golden child x troublemaker, secret relationship, player in love

Aspen is walking 'danger' sign. Toying with laws and rules, their sticky fingers always seem to 'borrow' the wallets of the wealthy. They are a hero to the kids of the city, a pest to the authorities, and a mystery to you. They keep theri cards close, and you sometimes closer.

[osemanenjoyer]

solitaire appreciation post god i absolutely fucking love solitaire it is easily in my top 3 books/book series sweet jesus alive it is a good book okay gay little /pos rant over read solitaire

[lilythefirst819x]

145 days to go!

[lyhil]

Nightmares and Dreams that Haunt the Night Commander Harukehn - @harukehn

[klutzyghost13]

New Edit

Nick Bi Panic

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[inthemiddleofthecabbins]

pretty odd