#spring day/best of me/dont leave me/house of cards/this entire new album were all in the running

[nako-doodles]

I was tagged by my love @monojoons​ 💖💖💖 to talk about the “5 BTS songs to get to know me” thank you bby iluiluilu so hold on tight folks! this is gonna be So Fucking Cheesy all aboard the lipids train in which shirley blubbers over how much she loves bangtan!!!! on train we serve triglyceride as all 7 of our meals!!!!!!!

I tag my loves @cafejoon @stargazingjin @yunkisunbae @ksj1​ @jincentvangogh​ @yourdelights​ @yooniversaire​ @suggable🌸🌸🌸

before you sweethearts go on tho im gonna need set some warnings: theres a very brief mention about accidental injuries, medical complications, car accidents, hospitals when I talk about so far away so pls be careful. I love you mwah mwah mwah 💖💖💖

1. Dead Leaves - The Most Beautiful Moment in Life, pt. 2 (2015)

I was a Very Casual ‘oh my moots are listening to them I guess ill satisfy my curiosity and listen too’ listener of bangtan in the ye olde days until I heard this song and absolutely lost all my marbles. like I remember when they first debuted and my dash was...full of gifs of their mvs.....and like I was a H U G E fan of bap and block b and exo back then and really didnt care for bts’ sound or image or the idol hiphop nonsense back then. and then there was all this drama and fan wars and controversy which further turned me off and. god. high school shirley was So Fucking Pretentious like I liked epik high and tiger jk and thought I was Peak Hiphop and I didnt care for other tomfoolery.

I became a fan when I Need U rolled out and then hyyh2 dropped and this song came up and absolutely shattered everything I knew about music and lyricism to my classical trained ears. like I cant fully explain to you how absolutely yoongi is  a musical genius he fucking???? did that!!!! and made it sound good??????? what fucking hogwash witchcraft bullshit????????????? (it also doesnt escape my notice that one of the few songs that jin opens was the song that signed me up as an army thank you king we dont deserve you)

2. Awake - Wings (2017)

this song fucking tore me to shreds. like the album dropped during a full day of econ and math lectures so I couldn't actually listen until I got back to the dorms, so my roommates set up the mv and album for me as soon as I got home (after a whole bunch of teasing and screaming in the gc) and I was still mentally recovering from The Kiss(tm) (srsly I screamed loud enough our RA ran into our dorm thinking we were being murdered) and then awake happened and I just.....emotionally eviscerated. fuck. it hit me so hard.

this is also really special to me bc I became a hardcore Seokjin stan after hearing this live at the Wings tour in Newark (I know!!! who was I before I became Enlightened and stanned the icon of our generation the king of the universe kim seokjin ah wow poor nirvana-less past shirley its ok you were valid bby soon you will understand) and then seeing them win the MAMAs and them look so shocked and crying made me realize I was in this bangtan shit for life.

3. Epilogue: Young Forever - The Most Beautiful Moment in Life: Young Forever (2016)

this song came out right towards the end of my freshman year in college when I had a lot of shit going on in my life and it kinda felt like the world was collapsing around me no matter what........and.......not to be dramatic............this song came along and uplifted me into a better place. they came during a time where I was barely hanging on and said ‘its ok. we understand. you got this.’ every time I heard this song it felt like I was being swaddled in that fluffy sunshine yellow blanket jimin has in serendipity and I was safe and loved and cared for.

fuck I still cant even listen to ‘dreams, hope, forward, forward’ bc the korean for ‘forward’ sounds so much like a mixture of chinese and japanese and it felt so hopeful.....like I was being supported by people who sincerely wanted the best for me even if they didnt know me and thats......just such a lovely feeling to have. music really transcends all barriers. thank you BTS.

4. Intro: Never Mind - The Most Beautiful Moment in Life, pt. 2 (2015)

this fucking song defined my entire freshman year. it got me my first crazy college story (my first friend in college and I were jamming and yelling to this song when the ra from the floor above thought we were doing beer pong with like 2 dozen other people and literally stormed our room when really it was just the two of us and some microwaved instant ramen and our leaning tower of  notes acting as the dj tower), my first friends in college, my first bts bias, my first taste of feeling like finding your musical soulmate, my first understanding of truly respecting and analyzing and contemplating an artist for their craft outside of doing it in school......I might have been already been in the kpop scene way before bangtan, but it was really truly bangtan that I truly grew up with if that makes sense

fun fact: you know the memory hack where if you listen to one song and cram, then you think of the song if ur stuck and then BAM you remember? kinda like chewing the same flavor of gum during ur exams as when you are studying but better for the environment? well yea. I did that during my finals that year and I Really Fucking Annoyed all my neighbors by rapping (super badly) to never mind (yes even the korean. yes I may be Asian but I have No Talent speaking in korean. so yes you can imagine how terrible I would sound rapping in korean) on all 8 of my written finals (important tip from future shirley: the life of a double major is hell. don't do it. dont be like me. learn from me. you will d i e)

5. So Far Away ft. Jin, Jungkook - BTS Festa 2017

this is the song that sings me to sleep at night and keeps me sane. god where do I even begin. ok. so agust d? the best thing to have happen to barely adult shirley. thank you min yoongi for embracing all of us and letting us into even the dark ugly parts of your personal struggles. suran? my actual queen. ive loved her since she featured on callin in love and mannequin w beenzino and primary and when I heard she was back and featured on a yoongi song? I fucking lost it. best song on the album next to tony montana and the last.

anyways, set scene: a freshly minted jin stan barely adulting shirley who hardly has her life together, and festa came and dropped this masterpiece in her lap. cue: cathartic crying for like 5 hours fresh from a semi-serious car accident and a bunch of medical complications and family issues. cue: latching onto this song as an emotional crutch, and later, emotional support song. I listen to this song at least once a day. I will go off to war for this song.

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yes the majority of this list is all music yoongi has written and didn't include any of the songs in the last 2 series.....listen bangtan came during a very specific 2 year period where I was really not doing well and then saved me (save me I need ur love before I fall.) im really thankful they were with me during that time and, like that dude said in the commentary, their music is really going to be with me for the rest of my life and it makes me so proud and gratified that they have touched millions of lives and made them even a smidge brighter. thank you for giving me a path through the darkness, thank you for picking me up and encouraged me through the hard patches, thank you for giving me a family and joy and belief in not only myself but in others as well, thank you for being there for all of us. thank you.