#spoon+knifeyarnfails

[spoon-and-knifehandcrafts]

On Swatching

I have a Bachelor's of Arts in Graphic Design, which I have maybe used for paying work 5 times in my life. And the only courses I really enjoyed were the required studio ones. Transitioning from real life medium to digital painting was a breeze, except...

Well, I'm an Aries. You can't tell an Aries anything, especially when they've somehow picked up Taurus traits even though the 12th ain't really a 'cusp'. And that + neurospiciness?

Pfft, no patience AND stubborn as a steer.

But I realized something in my digital painting time. You can't fudge the details. If you want it to look the way it looks in your head - that problem so common to artists with the inner eye that knows what it is you're trying to do - you cannot skimp. You cannot rush it. You have to go back to that one spot and put those details in. You have to take the time required to do something that looks good to you. The good/fast/cheap triangle doesn't really exist here, not for personal work. No one is paying you more to try and make things good and also quickly. In a lot of ways until you get better and more practiced you simply can't.

You have to do the work. All the work. The boring stuff, too. You'll feel like you're gonna die if it's not done soon. But the effort is actually noticeable.

When I got into fiber arts I forgot that lesson. Surely no one needs to SWATCH to make scarves and mittens and baby blankets. Gauge isn't relevant!

I have a finished object that's a garment. I won't show it here because I'm too ashamed to look at it. I spent literal months trying to perfect that garment. I messed up the front panel of it so badly once and the yarn had already gotten so terrible on it that I had to re buy two balls of yarn to re-knit it from scratch. I blocked it. I wove the ends in like a champ.

I never swatched. I thought to myself - I've knit this woman's patterns before. I did swatches then. It should be fine.

It was completely different fiber content.

The result was a tank top that was far too wide and far too short, with uneven straps and incorrect shaping. And all of that pain and spent time and spent money could have been avoided if I'd swatched.

Recently I just frogged another thing because instead of making a real swatch, blocking it, and checking, I stretched the stitches out on my needle and held them down with something heavy, got out a ruler, and figured my 'cheat blocking' would be enough.

Guess what. It wasn't. Now I'm frogging and going back down a needle. The pile of very annoyed superwash yarn ramen that is getting a bit natty and catching on itself is judging me. I'M judging me.

Sometimes, if you want it to look the way it's 'supposed' to look, the way the other projects do, the way the samples do, the way you know in your artist's eye you need it to - You have to do the work. Even the boring parts. Even those stupid swatches.

That failed tank top stays in a drawer. It'd make a great oversized crop top, I guess. I'll knit another one some day soon.

Hopefully this is the last time I heave to learn this lesson.

[spoon-and-knifehandcrafts]

Unraveling an inch and a half of rib you spent an hour casting on because every time you looked at it and how uneven it was (due to that smaller needle for the stockinette issues I always have later) you fought your urge to start over.

BUT MY PAIN IN THE ASS CAST ON you say to yourself, while the other half of yourself, that perfectionist side, screams at you that if you'd cast on with 2 needles the same size and also *done the tubular one* the edge wouldn't be sitting sideways and the rib wouldn't be so twisty looking.

I don't want to have to start over!!!! You scream to yourself the last 5 rows, struggling further and further against the urge to just 'do it right'.

And then, finally. Finally. You just pull the needles out and start frogging.

And while I do this, I ask myself "Why don't you love yourself and value your time more?" I don't know, me. I don't know.

[spoon-and-knifehandcrafts]

Knit a cardigan, I said. It'll be easy, I said

How much different from knitting a tank top could it possibly be?

LOL FML

Guess who just learned about lifelines in knitting? This bitch, that's who. Like hell am I redoing a tubular cast on and 4 inches of rib

But the stitch count was correct on the starter row of the lace pattern that was supposed to be pretty easy so at least I have that going on for me. Now I just have to NOT fuck up whatever I was fucking up to end up missing 2 stitches at some point

Sang a little song about how much this whole process sucked while picking stitches back up off a strand of really fuzzy acrylic scrap yarn, and my wife sang back to me how sorry she was that I was struggling, so that was cute

I swear I'm not gonna be able to pull this damned yarn out of here when I'm done and then there's gonna be some ugly crying

[spoon-and-knifehandcrafts]

When I say that this woman has saved my life at least four times in the past month on various knitting projects I ain't even kidding. Today she helped me fix a missed yarn over in my Arlo Cardi.

[spoon-and-knifehandcrafts]

Still alive.

Single Center Decreases with Splitty AF Yarn can go straight to hell.

Fuck Truboo in particular. Look, baby, I love you. You're soft, spongy, shimmery, you're the kind of stimmy that has me actually knitting a second panel while my AuDHD brain rails against me for not working on something new.

But DAMN.

[spoon-and-knifehandcrafts]

[spoon-and-knifehandcrafts]

I totally fixed it, in case anyone's watching. I pulled the knitting down onto the cord on both ends and then unscrewed the needles one by one and re-attached them to the correct sides.

As an additional note, always get a locking stitch marker and mark the side of your work that's the 'right side' so that you know which side you're knitting on and which side you're purling on just in case you end up needling down to make your stockinette more even and you're on Ribbing where you can't tell yet.

[spoon-and-knifehandcrafts]

Update to this: ADHD me was definitely wrong, Autism me who was panting into a paper bag in the corner was right, and damn but brioche is harder than it looks

HOLD MY BEER it said. HOW HARD CAN BRIOCHE BE ITS JUST KNITS AND PURLS it said. lmfao

Also why can't the internet youtube tutorial people agree on how to do it? WHAT IF I LEARN ONE WAY AND THE SHAWL PATTERN THINKS I'M DOING IT THE OTHER WAY

Okay breathe it's just yarn and needles. Swatch attempt 3, here we go

Me: Well, I definitely do need to do something with these three gorgeous balls of dk weight yarn I bought for the thing I decided not to make, and this shawl does look interesting, but it's brioche- ADHD me: SHAWL! SHAWL! SHAWL! SHAWL! Me: But brain, we don't know how to knit brioche ADHD me: HOLD MY BEER *hyperfocuses tutorials* *comes back* now we can brioche Me: ... we didn't even knit a swatch ADHD me: SHAWL! SHAWL! SHAWL! SHAWL! SWATCHES ARE BORING! Me: *sighs and puts my head on the desk*

(the autism part of me was hiding in the corner while crying about 'not doing any of this in the appropriate amount of steps' and could not be consulted once the beer was held)