#spontaneousparkour op

[spontaneousparkour]

Rated E10+

[spontaneousparkour]

Of the Levant

To be of the Middle East is to be poetry in motion, To be the dawn that kisses the palms, whose leaves dance in the breeze, To be the sapphire waves that lap the shores, their surging tides the caravan highways of the ancient songstress and the bright-eyed scribe. To be of the Levant is to be of the market, A cocktail of new and old, of Kashmir and Calvin Klein, of silk and emeralds and wheat and barley, Of sandalwood and rosewater glistening on the necks of young lovers, Whose laughter dances among the stories that swirl with tobacco smoke and distant memories, told in accents at once local and long-range. To be Lebanese is to be indestructible, The garlic roasting in the street suffocating the ash of what remained of the past, The cracking of bread louder than any bomb could hope to be, The dreams of tomorrow shining in the eyes of those children who were mercifully spared yesterday. To be Beiruti is to be young, To dream of living dreams in a home away from home, For while you love your mother's cooking and your uncle's wild stories, you know that there are better things for you elsewhere; But though you leave your home behind, the garlic and the salty sea, the rose water and sandalwood, the argileh and the laughter, These will never leave your heart. To be of the cedars is to be free to make the world your own, But no matter how far you may roam, Harissa's arms will open to you Should you ever come back home.

[spontaneousparkour]

Ramadan After Dark

[spontaneousparkour]

It tastes like flowers that only bloom in the light of the full moon, like the dust left behind by pixies that hide in hollow trees when the slightest breeze shakes the violet leaves from trees speckled with neon blue moss and diamond-colored mushrooms, like the breath of Pegasus after it drinks from a fountain that never stops flowing from a spring that cools the mouth and warms the stomach all at once. It's as smooth as the river that gently carves its way through the indigo fairy grove, rapids splashing against the sky blue sand that glows in the pale moonlight. Creamy, floral, bittersweet, like the skin of a woodland queen forgotten by time, kept youthful only by those few who still hold her memory in their hearts, her heart kept beating with the satisfied sigh of every girl who tastes sweet ambrosia, her blood kept flowing by the laughter in every boy's chest when he savors this delicate aroma. This is the lavender ice cream of Gelati Celesti, and, like its name implies, it tastes like a flower that fell from the heavens, a flavor at once floral and celestial, magnificent as the stars and as natural as the earth.

So, I had lavender gelato tonight, and a friend asked me to describe it, and...

[spontaneousparkour]

[spontaneousparkour]

A different kind of squid kid.

[spontaneousparkour]

UEFA CHAMPIONS LEAGUE - JUVENTUS V. REAL MADRID

Once in a blue moon, the soccer genes that run in my family come out screaming. Today is that day.

[spontaneousparkour]

Tonight on The Flash:

Next week on The Flash:

[spontaneousparkour]

I've never related to a license plate this much.

[spontaneousparkour]

ATTN: Mr. Donald John Trump 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW Washington, DC 20500

ALTERNATIVELY: Mr. Donald John Trump 721 Fifth Avenue, 26th Floor New York City, NY 10022

Mr. Trump:

My name is Bilal. I am American.

I was born in the City of Williamsburg, in the Commonwealth of Virginia, to a woman whose ancestry extends as far back as the settlers of that colony almost four hundred years ago. My mother’s blood is the blood of the English and the Irish, the German and the French, all of whom came to this nation when it was a disjointed mass of Colonies, who sought better days in this Land of Opportunity.

My name is Bilal. I am Muslim.

I was born to a Lebanese man who left his home as a teenager in the middle of a war that threatened his life more than once, with barely a nickel in his pocket and not a lick of English on his tongue, praying he would earn that great American dream, that he could build a family, a career, a life for himself in this nation, whose Lady Liberty beckoned him with the promise of a better life.

My name is Bilal. I am condemned in my own home.

One month before my 10th birthday, the actions of the radical few, acting by order of a man so violent that his own family cast him out of their house, and in the name of a Prophet who would condemn their actions outright, brought your hometown and my home country to its knees and painted a target on my back. From that day onward, I was marked: I was and am a terrorist, because it is absolutely reasonable to blame a nine-year old boy from small-town America for being the mastermind behind such evil. I was and am a terrorist, because it is totally sound to take an entire faith and beat them into submission for daring to call God by a different name.

My name is Bilal. I am a Millennial.

I was born in 1991 and have witnessed the miracle that was the start of the Information Age. I am the one that older anchors on your favorite newscasts refer to with daggers in their eyes and spite on their tongues. I am the one dismissed as a spoiled brat who has it too good nowadays, while my colleagues struggle to build their lives out of the nothing that has been left to them. I am the one dissatisfied with recycled sitcoms and disgusted with the status quo you call God.

My name is Bilal. Your friends do not like me.

I belong to a number of different groups who have been told that in the grander scheme of the ideal America, our lives, our issues, our problems do not matter. I am a friend to far too many people who belong to groups even more diverse, who have been told that their lives somehow matter even less than mine. At some point, the powers that be decided as a collective that the assortment of non-Caucasian, non-Evangelical, non-heterosexual, non-biologically male individuals that make up more than half of this nation’s population simply do not matter to the success of this nation, that these individuals and their issues do not contribute to the ideal American Dream.

My name is Bilal. I was named for a man renowned for his voice.

Bilal ibn Rabah was an Ethiopian man born into slavery in Mecca. He was considered a “good” slave, with a rich, resonant voice and a confidant air about him. Drawn to the preaching of the Prophet Muhammad, Bilal was one of the first individuals to convert to Islam, and his master very nearly killed him because of this. As he drew what would have been his final breaths under the weight of a massive boulder in the heat of the Arabian sun, the Prophet’s family bought Bilal’s freedom, and the Prophet Muhammad asked that Bilal use the gift that was his voice to call other Muslims to prayer. To this day, every voice that echoes from the minarets of every mosque around the world emulates the call to worship first made by Bilal.

My name is Bilal. Contrary to popular belief, it is not you I fear: it is the deranged attitude that you encourage with your venomous tongue.

I am not black. I am not a woman. I will never experience the struggles faced by Africans in America, made to build a nation they did not want, whose heads, despite the weight of the polished shoes that have stood upon their shoulders for decades, are still held high as they continue the good fight for the right to be treated like any other American; nor will I ever experience the struggles faced by women in America, who have historically been silenced by their patriarchs, who have been told to their faces that their bodies do not belong to them, who are more easily regarded by men as mere playthings than they are as living, breathing people.

My name is Bilal. I have been told to sit down and shut up.

Your supporters would like me to get over myself. I have been told that the fate of this nation and of my people has been sealed with your Presidency. I have overheard the hoots and hollers of the working white man who praises your reign as a triumphant return to good old-fashioned values, a foundation for a new America built on the bones and sealed with the blood of my family and my friends. Every day since your inauguration, it seems, I awaken to news that if my people aren’t being beaten in restaurants or detained in airports, then my friends are coming home to shattered windows and spray-painted doors, to nooses in their trees and rainbow flags burned black on their lawns. But I am the one who is told to get over myself.

My name is Bilal. I am done putting up with you.

I do not know the struggle of the black community. I do not know the struggle of the female community. I do not know the struggle of the queer community, those individuals tortured and ostracized because their love is offensive under a bastardized translation of the word of the Lord, or because their gender may not conform to the strict dichotomy that color-codes children’s toys.

But, my name is Bilal, and I know hate.

I have been hated for existing. I have been randomly selected at the terminal and pummeled into the dirt because my father’s heritage makes me an enemy of the State. I am a terrorist because at the dinner table, my family’s Grace begins with Bismillah. As I grew older, I heard the stories of my friends, whose families have barred them from their homes because their love was deemed wrong, whose great-grandfathers tilled Dixie dirt at the end of rusted chains in the antebellum sun, whose grandmothers fled across stormy gray seas with numbers burned into their skin and unspeakable horrors burned into their eyes, who to this day are made to feel less than human because of who they are.

My name is Bilal. I am calling you out.

Because I am, for all intents and purposes, a Caucasian man, I have been granted a voice to which most people in this country may actually listen. Like the Bilal who walked with the Prophet, so too will I use my voice to unite those to whom you remain deaf. For my friends who are not white, whose skin is enough of a reason for your proud champions to pummel them in the streets, my voice is theirs. For my friends who are women, who have been told countless times that they have no right to their own body, who are paid peanuts when men who have done less are somehow awarded more, my voice is theirs. For my friends in the queer community: whether they have come out and have been subsequently abused for daring to be, or their identity remains secret because your advocates would deliver unto them their despicable brand of divine retribution, my voice is theirs. For my friends of all faiths, whether Muhammad is their Prophet or Jesus is their Lord and Savior, whether they observe Shabbat or worship nothing and no one at all, my voice is theirs.

My name is Bilal.

I have watched too long as my friends and family suffered at the hands of the powers that be. Your behavior over the course of your lifetime has been nothing short of vile, and the attitude that you have encouraged in this country, this attitude of contempt for anyone and anything that doesn’t fit in your delicate definition of America, is disgusting. We are a nation of immigrants, united by our collective differences. There is nothing in this world like the United States of America, which is defined by its diversity. To denounce difference, to spit in the face of that which makes America truly great, is, in a word, wrong.

My name is Bilal. I have a voice, and I refuse to get over myself.

My name is Bilal. I will not sit down.

My name is Bilal. I am American.

I will not shut up.

[spontaneousparkour]

Logan: A Review

What I Saw:

What I Expected:

What I Got:

[spontaneousparkour]

For the fifth Christmas in a row, @theconfusionist and I would like to present our timeless classic, "For Sale: A Depressing Christmas Picture."