#spn… your potential was truly unmatched

[smoreal]

God that fandom from middle school has such a lifelong grip on me bc these destiel fics still manage to go so hard???

[wildelydawn]

2 7 11 17 18 35 40 47 73 for the writers ask game

I know it's a lot feel free to not answer all of them hahaha

Hello my dearest!! I will do all of them for you <3

2. talk about a notable time a narrative or character has looked you dead in the eyes and said “fuck your plan, here’s what we’re actually doing.”

It's very minor because he has so few lines/so little presence in the story, but it's when Big dies in II4Y. I didn't want him to die but I realized he needs to die for Kim to understand what permanent loss is. In chapter one, Kim is dealing with a break up, which is definitely a sort of loss, but once Chay and him begin to matter to each other again, Kim begins to realize that loss can be a lot worse, a lot more permanent. By chapter four, he's sort of gotten everyone back, right? Chay is talking to him, he's hanging out with his brothers. Big's death shocks him into remembering that it can be all taken away very quickly.

7. tell us about the plot of the first fanfic you ever wrote

I know that my first fic was something written for classic Fruits Basket, but I can't remember the plot for the life of me. It was probably fluff or a retelling of Kyo's transformation when his bracelet comes off. The earliest, actual fic I can recall the plot too very vividly is a Supernatural Megstiel fic, in which I rewrote parts of Hello, Cruel World so that Meg Masters finds Castiel's trenchcoat and body. Unfortunately, I deleted that story because I wrote it at the height of SPN, and Megstiel was a rough ship to write at the time lol. I wish I hadn't deleted it! It would've been cool to take another look at it now, or maybe even potentially rewrite.

11. what’s something neat you’ve learned while doing research for something you were writing? also, how much do you worry about doing research in general?

The entire process of making Thai desserts/food for BSC90 has been so great. Like, truly unmatched. Outside of fandom, my research is really depressing and almost always about the Law/law. So to really deep dive into how these foods are made and how chocolate was/is produced in Thailand is really fun. I do take research pretty seriously, and I do what I can to be as accurate as possible. Right now, I'm pretty knee deep in reading about football/football RPF, and I recently followed a bunch of popular players on my Instagram, and that's been pretty wild. And, of course, can't forget my favorite Dutch politicians either. Though, that research wasn't for writing. I just really got interested in reading about the Netherlands and far right government officials. I find myself just rereading or watching Dutch debate whenever I can find translations, fan-written or official.

17. what is your favorite line you’ve ever written?

God. It changes so often, especially depending on my mood. Right now, it's from YLTTL:

The subtle but decreasing hesitations in WIK’s motions make Porchay unsteady and ashamed at the same time. In his dreams, he envisioned WIK as the criminal: keen on stealing Porchay’s heart and laughing mercilessly while walking away, leaving Porchay naked on the floor. He imagined, the other week, after WIK had left him alone, that at their best, they could only ever be temporary bliss: a mistake, heat of the moment, other clichés that left Porchay feeling angry and confused. He had resolved that if the moment were to come, he’d give himself entirely to WIK and blindly hope that WIK would do the same, and they could leave without saying anything more. 

Their togetherness, he cruelly imagined, would be one born of force, passionate with no regard for the future, a story as old as time: those with power taking advantage of those with none.

18. what is your most and least favorite part of writing?

The action of writing is my favorite part of writing. And also finding out if someone reread something of mine. Least favorite part is posting/submitting/publishing.

35. tell us about a character who’s very different than you who you love a whole lot

Definitely Chay. Chay is so different from me. I think what we have in common is poverty and independence, but other than that, Chay is such a bold, forward, dynamic character. He takes what he wants! When I wanted to ask out my current partner, I wrote a letter and then fled the country. Chay, on the other hand, just fucking shows up to where Kim is and calls it a date. I think he's the bravest character in the whole fucking show actually. All of what he does, what he navigates, is mostly done alone and independently and, up to a certain point, by choice. I admire that so much. He takes risks, even if it ends in detriment to himself. He's never static, he's never standing still. He feels things and acts on those emotions. Now, whether he processes them properly or maturely is up in the air, but he's not wallowing for long, and I truly think in a post-canon world, he would continue to do what he can to move on and adapt to his new life. That can be "Chay having a ho phase" or "Chay integrates into the mafia" or "Chay runs to Switzerland, meets Kang Yohan from The Devil Judge, and becomes a vigilante judge when he comes back to Thailand."

40. best piece of feedback you’ve ever gotten.

"You're probably going to get decimated, but everyone will have questions." This came from my dissertation advisor/mentor. And she was right!

47. what story are you most proud of?

It's definitely a tie between YLTTL and Still Painting Flowers for You. I'm quite proud of the latter. It's short and it has, what I feel, is a good balance of canon and a reflection of two very important women in my life.

Thank you for all these questions, my crunchy little friend! It was so fun to write this out hehe.

Ask me writer things!