#spn writer tanoo

[unhinged-jackles]

i wish cas was able to remember everything naomi and heaven stole from him. i feel like i've said it before, but i think an absolutely insane batshit reveal they could have done was cas remembering every time he rebelled against heaven, was for all the humans he loved throughout history. a little girl he'd pick flowers for, a man who's smile he couldn't help but notice was the only one he noticed. just cas loving humanity and humans all throughout existence and every single time heaven stole them from him, reset him.

this would have been a beautiful storyline for cas in season 15, especially building up to the confession. too much heart was always castiel's problem and he loves, and he loves, and loves, and dean is the one thing loves so much that he wants, which made all the difference. because no matter what was written by chuck or stolen by naomi, castiel could not be controlled when it came to dean winchester because the second he laid a hand on the righteous man in hell castiel was lost to heaven; the very touch of dean freed cas from them.

tldr; we deserved to see cas remember the memories that were mind wiped and realize that everything he has ever done, the good and the bad, he has done for love.

[unhinged-jackles]

give me season 15 dean post 15x19 and the finale doesn't exist doing everything he can to get cas back and he finds a spell that will bring someone to him but only if they are in love with the caster of the spell and dean is so nervous about it not working because what even does it mean for cas to love him what does it mean for an angel to love a human but dean has to try and the spell works but instead of cas back from the empty we get season 6 castiel in the midst of working with crowley and lying to dean in the middle of the bunker

[unhinged-jackles]

Dean loves loves loves little terms of endearment for Cas. He uses sweetheart on the daily, darling when he’s flirting, handsome when he’s flirting with intent, sunshine when the angel is particularly grumpy, and answers yes dear whenever Cas calls for him.

The thing is, Cas doesn’t use nicknames for Dean. Like at all. Ever. And if Dean is being honest, which he’s trying to be more of, he’s a bit irked.

It’s always Dean. Dean Dean Dean Dean Dean. Dean. Dean.

“Like what the hell Cas, am I not your love? Your honey, your sweetie pie, not even your snookums?” Dean asks while laying in bed next to his husband, fiddling with the ring on his hand that represents a promise, trying to remind himself he is all those things to Cas and so much more.

“This has been troubling you,” Cas states, looking away from his book and squinting at Dean.

Dean just shrugs, not knowing what else to say.

Cas sighs, bookmarking his page before sliding down the bed and turning to his side to face Dean, who is resolutely staring at the ceiling.

“Dean, look at me.”

Green eyes meet blue.

“You are all those things to me. You’re my love, my honey, my sweetie pie, even my snookums.”

Dean lets out a huff of laughter at the word snookums coming out in the angel’s gravelly voice.

A soft smile graces Cas’ lips. “You’re also my happiness. You’re the ocean I willing drown myself in, the sun I would graciously let melt my wings. You are Dean, the only being in the universe that has ever wavered my devotion to the lord Himself; you are the human who set me free.”

Overwhelmed, tears have begun to well up in Dean’s eyes. Cas catches them before they fall with a brush of his thumb as he cradles Dean’s face and pulls him closer.

“Dean, you are everything. You have rebuilt me in a manner similar to how I once rebuilt you. I am who I am because you are who you are, Dean. Across all the languages in all the cosmos, there is no other word that holds the weight of who you are to me than your name and all it encompasses, all other words pale in comparison.”

Dean’s eyes haven’t left Cas’ and the sincerity in his gazed coupled with what he’s saying has Dean feeling warm and so utterly loved in a way no nickname ever could.

“And you don’t get words wrong sweetheart,” Dean states, voice heavy with emotion.

A gummy smile. “Exactly, Dean. I don’t get words wrong.”

[unhinged-jackles]

since i'm rewatching season 8 i'm imagining an episode from naomi's pov, similar in style to the man who would be king. we watch her give the order to save castiel from purgatory and we see her motives. she's watching reels of castiel's interactions with sam and dean, and she's thinking 'i could use him, the traitor, to protect heaven. this will be the penance for his destruction.' we watch as she lobotomizes castiel when he's out of purgatory and we watch as she monitors him. we get to see all the times off screen that naomi kept conditioning castiel to do heaven's will, and we watch as the second castiel begins to question his actions he's brainwashed again.

we watch her train castiel to kill dean.

but then we also see all the other times that castiel was lobotimized by naomi, pre-winchesters. we see castiel throughout history showing empathy to the humans, and naomi can't have that. so she 'fixes' him over and over and over again. she's never able to repair the crack in his chassis but she always ends up completing the mission. though his disobedience comes through, naomi always knows exactly what buttons to push.

until castiel fails to kill dean winchester.

also this can connect to my cas regaining his stolen memories headcanon hehe

[unhinged-jackles]

dean should have had to choose between killing sam and cas because we all know how that would go and dean is begging cas please don’t make me do this there has to be another way but cas hands dean his angel blade, wraps his hand around dean’s fist and says it's ok and with a watery smile pushes the blade into himself as dean’s face crumbles and he sobs and cas’ grace is exiting his eyes and mouth and dean just can’t look and he buries his face into cas’ neck as he supports his lifeless body whispering i’m sorry i’m sorry i’ll come find you cas cas i’m coming for you cas i’m so fucking sorry