#spiderman fanfci

[peterman-spideyparker]

Where’d I Go Wrong? (Peter Parker x Reader) (Best Friends to Enemies AU)

Author’s Note: Heya! It’s been a while! The semester started waaaay early this fall to accommodate for everything that has been going on with Covid, and they want to make sure that people have enough time to move off of campus come November/December. That being said, we have no vacations, days off, and extra homework. But, I signed up for @mermaidxatxheart​‘s writing challenge, and, by gum, I made sure it was done and ready for posting! I hope everyone likes it! Enjoy! :)

Summary: You needed your toes to count how many years you knew Peter, and you needed just as many to count the years that you were best friends--the key word being “were.” With Peter being more distant (and you knowing why), you took actions into your own hands, and now you have to deal with the consequences.

Other Characters: Tony Stark

Word Count: 1,936

Warnings: Mention of violence and angst, angst, angst

“Why?” Peter asks after an eternity of silence. You can’t bring yourself to look into his eyes because you know how they will look. Red from crying—whether it be out of anger or genuine sadness. The judgement of his brown irises. The anguish of betrayal from his best friend of almost 15 years. The devastation and guilt that he holds himself responsible for what happened. You know what they look like because you’ve have seen it all in your own eyes. The way that you know they differ is that while yours will always try to justify your actions, his will never forgive you for the rest of his days. So you just stay silent and stare at the right hand corner of the stainless steel table.

“Why?” he repeats, and this time you hear the emotion in his voice. “Why did you do this, (Y/N)?”

“There’s nothing that I can say that will make you understand,” you say, still avoiding his gaze. 

“I need to understand.”

“And I need to understand why you lied to me. Looks like neither of us will be getting answers to our questions.”

“People could have died, (Y/N).”

“But they didn’t. Everything was calculated so that wouldn’t happen. If people got hurt, I made sure they were taken care of.”

Peter slams his fists onto the table. “Why?” he repeats one more time, his voice broken and full of emotion. “How could you do this? How did you become this person?”

“I guess with every superhero, a villain gets their origin story.”

“The world will be a better place with you locked up in here forever,” he finally says, his voice cold and hurt, leaning back in his chair. “You’re a monster.”

“Is that all?” you ask, finally looking at him in the eyes, doing your best to not show emotion to the broken boy before you.

“I hope I never have to see you again,” he says, his voice low and thick with emotion before he pushes his chair back and leaves the visitation room.

“You have visitor,” the guard tells you. 

“No one visits me anymore,” you explain.

“I have a feeling you’ll want to see this one. And I don’t think he’ll be leaving without seeing you.”

You let out a sigh and sit up, letting the guard hand cuff you and lead you to the visitors lounge, but you soon become confused when he leads you to a private room. He opens the door an ushers you in, and you see man in an impeccable three piece suit waiting at the stainless steel table. He turns his head and you feel your eyes grow wide.

“You look surprised,” he smirks. 

“You wouldn’t be wrong,” you tell him, taking your seat across from the billionaire. “I’m sorry this is how we had to meet. Peter spoke the world of you, Mr. Stark.”

“He did the same about you,” he says, taking off his sunglasses and putting them in a pocket. “So why’d you do it?”

“I didn’t tell Peter. I’m not telling you.”

“You didn’t tell Peter because you care about him. You don’t care about me. Therefore, you can tell me.”

“I can’t,” you say quietly.

“He’s not the same since all of this. He’s closed off. People have to force him to eat. It’s like he’s a shell of who he was. So tell me why you did it.”

“No,” you breathe.

“The kid’s a wreck—.”

“So am I!” you snap before you catch myself, closing your eyes and biting your lower lip. “I think we’re done here.”

“Not quite,” Mr. Stark says, holding up his hand.

“What else could you possibly want from me?”

“I want to hear your side. From the beginning. I want to understand to help Pete get through this. Don’t you want him to get better?”

You swallow hard and try to hide a tear. “Where do you want me to start?”

“So, what’s on the docket for tonight, Parker?” you smile as you sit next to him on the couch with a bowl of popcorn. 

“Well,” he says, taking a handful of the snack and stuffing it into his mouth. “We’ve got the complete series of ‘Avatar,’ ‘The Flash’, I just found out that they have ‘What’s New Scooby-Doo?’ on Netflix—.”

You laugh and hit him with one of the throw pillows. 

“Hey!” he squeaks. “The popcorn!”

“I’m sorry, but if I hadn’t cut you off when I did, I knew I’d be hearing you list stuff for ten minutes.”

“Okay, fair. So, what sounds good for you?”

“Um, what about—.”

Just as you are about to offer your suggestion, Peter’s phone rings. 

“No,” you whine. “This is our third time trying to do this! Please don’t pick it up!”

“I’m sorry, (Y/N). It’s the Stark Internship,” he says, giving me a deeply apologetic look. “Hi, Mr. Stark. Uh huh. Okay. Alright. I’ll be right there.”

“Peter Benjamin Parker!” you scold. 

“(Y/N) this is important. This internship—.”

“—is super important and will open up so many doors for you. Yeah, I know,” you sigh, leaning back in the couch, folding your arms. “It’s just . . . I put aside things that are important to me for you. It just feels like a one way street with us lately.”

“I know, and I’m sorry,” he says with downtrodden puppy eyes. “But you know that this internship could mean for my future, right?”

You sigh, putting the popcorn on the coffee table and doing his question. “I have some things I need to work on, anyways.”

“(Y/N), I promise, we’ll do this next week. Uninterrupted. I promise.”

“You swear?”

“I swear.”

He looks at you, his brown eyes pleading. 

“You’re lucky you’re my best friend Peter, because if anyone else tried to pull this crap, they’d be missing their front teeth.”

“This is one of the many reasons you’re my best friend,” Peter tells you with a crooked smile and a tight hug.

“If Ned hears you say that, he might have a conniption, so, I’ll keep it between us. Now go . . . intern, and things.”

“I’m so sorry I’m late,” Peter says as he rushes in.

“Four hours is a little more than late,” you sigh. “It’s completely forgotten about.”

“(Y/N), I’m here now,” he says, stopping me from leaving. “We can still do what we planned.”

“You’ve been saying that for months! Months, Peter. This night—just like all of the others—can’t be salvaged, Peter.”

“(Y/N), please—!”

“No, Peter! I can’t keep doing this, and I can’t stomach one more excuse. Is there anything you want to tell me? Something about the internship? What you’re doing? Anything at all?”

Peter just stands and stares, his eyes telling you everything while his mouth remains closed.

“Okay,” you sigh. “Call me when you figure things out and can tell me the truth.”

“Please, don’t leave.”

“No, I think I have to, Peter.”

“So that’s why you did all this?” Tony asks, still looking quite confused. “You wanted to get back at Peter because you were mad at him?”

“No,” you sigh. “That’s not why I did it.”

“Then why? Based on what you have told me, that’s what I’m getting here.”

“I knew that whenever he said ‘Stark Internship,’ he meant superheroing around with you and the Avengers.”

“You knew Pete was—?”

“Oh yeah. I’ve been best friends with him since we were in diapers. There’s nothing he can keep hidden from me, no matter how hard he tries.” You sigh and close my eyes, a single tear rolling down your cheek, and you lean you wipe it away as quickly as it came. “Everyone knew he was Spider-Man. May, MJ, Ned—everyone that was close to him. But he didn’t tell me. He didn’t trust me. I know he was probably trying to protect me, but, I felt betrayed. I felt like he thought I couldn’t keep the secret. But most of all, he left me alone to wonder if he was dead or alive. So, I figured that if at least I was the villain, I knew I could keep him safe and unhurt while spending some time with him.”

“Why didn’t you just confront Peter about it?”

“He’d deny it and lie to me.”

“Have you told him any of this? Don’t you think there’s the possibility he’d understand?”

“I don’t want him to know any of this. I’d rather have him live his life hating me than trying to repair our friendship.”

“What?”

“He’d be willing to put in the effort,” you continue. “But he would always come back to what I did. A part of him will always hate me forever, and it’s just easier for me to deal with him hating me outright then secretly resenting me.”

“Are you even sorry that this happened?”

“Incredibly sorry. I look at myself in the mirror here and I can’t recognize the person staring back. I hate who I see,” you say, swallowing hard

“Does Peter know this?”

“No. And it’s for the same reason I just told you.”

“I just have one more question for you. Why’d you stop that night?” he asks quietly.

“What?”

“The night you go arrested, you were fighting the kid and then you just stopped. Why? You didn’t stop any other night, but you stopped in the middle of your tracks and surrendered.”

“His mask came off,” you tell him, your voice cracking. “I always knew it was Peter I was fighting. But his mask came off of a good portion of his face. I could see his face and the fear in his eyes . . . blood, and . . . I was the one hurting him. I was hurting my best friend. I couldn’t do it.”

“Kid—.”

“Can I please go back into my cell now?”

“Just tell Peter this,” he insists. “I’m telling you, if Peter knows—.”

“I can’t, Mr. Stark. Please let me leave.”

“I can get you a good lawyer. You’re gonna serve time, but probably not as much—.”

“No,” you say. “I want—. I hurt my best friend in so many different ways. People got injured. I deserve to be in here. Peter said it himself: the world is a better place because I’m in here.”

“I’m sure he didn’t mean that. He was just mad.”

“No,” I say. “His eyes . . . He meant every last word. He never wants to see me again. So if I couldn’t do our friendship right, I can at least do this right for him. I have to do this right for him.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, kid. Peter—.”

“Guard?” you call, closing your eyes and letting out a deep breath. “I’d like to go back to my cell now, if that’s okay with you.”

The door opens right on cue, and the guard helps you stand and keep balance with the chains on your ankles before he puts the cuffs on your wrists.

“We’re not finished, here,” Tony says, trying to convince the guard not to take you.

“I’ve told you everything you’ve wanted to know,” you tell him. “At least do me a favor, though?”

Tony just looks at you, confused and disappointed.

“Tell Peter it was always him. And he did nothing wrong.”

“Wha—?” Tony squints as you walk past him and out of the room. “Wait!”

You are still able to hear Tony’s protests as the door shuts, and even still further down the hallway. All you can do is hang your head and silently cry, letting your feelings eat you up from the inside.

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