at the dagger’s point
Years after the fall of his House, Kimmuriel learns a truth his mother hid. He takes it poorly, to say the least.
Or: Friendship is when your lieutenant threatens you with a knife and you don’t immediately respond by stabbing him, probably?
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"Kind of you to use a physical weapon for this, my friend," the drow sitting in the chair says pleasantly. His voice wavers not even the slightest amount, even with a dagger at his throat, and Kimmuriel - suffused with all-consuming, uncharacteristic rage - hates him all the more for it.
"For I know that if you truly wanted me dead, you could simply use the power of your mind to finish me off, and I would be helpless before you..."
Jarlaxle sighs, his glance shifting over to what he can see of his lieutenant. Naturally, the other drow had come from behind, a standard tactic. With a knife, even, another standard tactic....
But Kimmuriel is far from standard. No, this strikes him as simply worrying, for multiple reasons.
"Is it my charming manner that brings this about? My reckless deeds, growing by the day? Have I crossed the line with one too many jokes, perhaps?"
"You know what brings this about," Kimmuriel manages, his voice as rough and shaken as his sudden act of violence. "Don't play the fool with me, Jarlaxle."
"Oh, but I do it so well!"
He doesn't flinch as the dagger presses harder against his throat. He could have been done with this already - beating Kimmuriel in solely physical combat would not be hard, especially with his eyepatch - but he stays his hand, despite the threat.
His drive for survival is insatiable, but so too is his curiosity. To delve, to understand. Not the depths of the mind as his oh-so-clever lieutenant does, but the depths of other people.
"You could at least tell me what this is about before you start trying to cut my throat. Or take me out to dinner first, perhaps," he adds, with a grin. No laughter comes, nor any reaction at all, to suggest the joke was appreciated.
But then, what did he expect? Kimmuriel, ever always, has been dispassionate about such things.
"You are a Baenre," comes the hiss from the darkness behind.
"So I am," Jarlaxle admits, the eye not hidden by the eyepatch closing. Yes, he remembers that day just as vividly as Kimmuriel likely remembers it. The punishment of Lolth, an entire House dragged into the Clawrift...
Kimmuriel had not reacted much to the loss of his House. Or, at least, he had tried not to react much. He had dismissed any concern directed his way, saying that he would continue to serve Bregan D'aerthe in full, as he was practically doing already, so it was no matter.
Well, that had been a lie, hadn't it? Even if the survivors of Menzoberranzan's way of life became numb to such atrocities and spectacles, some wounds were too deep to heal.
Or, perhaps, we simply grew experienced at ignoring them, he muses. For survival. For our own sakes. At the expense of remembering that other people have wounds at all.
"Will my death benefit you, my friend?" he asks the wielder of the knife. "Will it soothe you to know that you have killed me?"
"I will have robbed House Baenre of a valuable asset," Kimmuriel snarls. Jarlaxle can't help but smile, rueful.
"My dear Kimmuriel," he says, and notes the strange flinch, the shakiness to that hand, that comes with speaking his name and that small endearment - ever an oddity, even now - "I am a rebellious, houseless son with no official ties. It would be rather easy to dispose of me, don't you think? And, I will add, I bore your House no ill will. In fact, I may be the only person of my family who didn't view it as a good thing."
"That means nothing."
"While I can admit that appealing to your sense of sentiment isn't tremendously effective on my part - though I must at least try, for we are friends, after all - think of it this way. Killing me doesn't benefit you. It comes with immediate downsides, in fact."
"Such as?"
"You lose a person - perhaps the only person in this entire city - who understands that you are a valuable individual and not, ah, a possession. Or a weapon. Or a curiosity. Or, most likely, a heretic that should be thrown into the Clawrift where the rest of his House resides, for surely to take you in would be to invite destruction at the hands of Lolth, yes?"
Silence.
"Nobody would harbour you, Kimmuriel," he continues. "This is not a threat - this is a warning. You know as well as I do that the name of Oblodra is a burden anywhere in this city except here, beside me."
"Under you, you mean," the psionicist snaps.
"Beside me," Jarlaxle corrects. "You are my valued lieutenant - and more than that, you are my friend."
"You use that word far too easily."
"And you know me well enough to know that I mean it, in special cases - one of those special cases being you."
More silence. The dagger is sharp enough to wound even with a light press - Kimmuriel had sharpened it well - but it isn't pressed any further. It doesn't seem to be going anywhere.
"Unless the all-seeing Kimmuriel is not as all-seeing as he thinks?" he teases, his voice light. "Surely he knows enough that he can keep Jarlaxle Baenre under control standing at his side, rather than running away from all the Underdark who might want to use or kill him?"
"Nobody can keep Jarlaxle Baenre under control if he doesn't wish it," comes the dry tone he's more familiar with, rather than that uncontrolled and shaking rage. But his voice quivers with frustration, still. With anger.
Grief?
He takes a gamble and raises his hand, bringing it to rest over Kimmuriel's own - not to disarm him, but simply to touch him. They stay there together, this odd tableau, for what seems like a small and frozen eternity.
"I suppose you are right," the psionicist says at last, turning the edge of the blade away from Jarlaxle's throat. "Killing you would simply present more obstacles. It is convenient for you to live, if only so I can continue my own work."
His hand lingers, slow to move away from that connection. Reluctant? Jarlaxle wonders, wonders if he's capable of wanting affection at all - and then almost laughs at himself for asking the question.
Of course Kimmuriel is capable of such feelings. Much as he'd hate to admit it, as much as he doesn't want them. And who can blame him for rejecting such things here, in this wretched city that flenses them all to the bone? Better to hate, to reject, to shut yourself away entirely from pain.
And despite everything the psionicist had done, as dispassionate and near-emotionless as he had already been, pain had reached him still.
Lady Lolth would be pleased at that, he's sure. It's a bitter, dark thought.
"You'll be here tomorrow, I assume?" he asks, at last, thinking that his lieutenant might well need time to himself - more time to himself than he already has.
"I will be here," Kimmuriel says with finality, pulling the weapon away from him at last. The clatter of metal indicates that it's been dropped, or thrown. What use is a dagger to a psionicist, after all?
Jarlaxle is about to respond, and then the other drow continues.
"I have nowhere else to go."
There's a bleak, exhausted finality in those words, something that goes beyond sadness and into the ashes of it; a resigned despair. Whether Kimmuriel has deliberately revealed it or the whole thing is accidental, he doesn't know.
But he says nothing, not a word, as Kimmuriel - for once - uses the perfectly mundane door.
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