#spencerhasting x reader

[oneshotnewbie]

if you’re comfortable with the topic

could you do spencer hasting x reader with an ed (anorexia) with her helping the reader

PLEASE IGNORE IF YOURE UNCOMFY

⚠️Trigger Warning⚠️ This one-shot includes the topic of an eating disorder (anorexia nervosa) and the plot is presented. If this triggers you too easily or you just can´t handle the subject, I urge you NOT to read this work. I am NOT embellishing this topic under any circumstance. Read at your own risk.

ᕚ---ᕘ

You did not remember exactly when the sickness had started to hold your body in captivity and destroy your entire life, but it used to come with the stress of A and their sick and twisted games. Now, you only felt relief whenever you could hunger your problems away, taking all the imperfect things of your body and starving them away.

It is the rumor mill and the people whispering behind your back that have been brewing since you were kidnapped and resurfaced. Since then, you hid into your clothes that swallowed you whole. Sometimes, you stood completely naked in front of your bathroom mirror and hugged your body, silently pleading to yourself to finally be perfect. Maybe if you were just a little lighter, A would stop putting you down.

And like so many times lately, you lay on your bed, your hands firmly placed on your growling stomach and your fingers brushing your ribs with your fingers absentmindedly. -Since you have been back home, you have gained enough weight to support an entire family, piggy.- Was the anonymous sender's last message to you and left you shrugging as you repeated the number that your scale spat out less than a few minutes ago.

For days you had not eaten more than measly portions of fruit, eggs or vegetables, which did not even provided your brain with the nutrients it needed. You had given up eating lunch with the girls, refused to eat at the breakfast table of your family home. The taste of the bitter coffee that Spencer brought you to school every morning was also starting to bother you and nearly made you sick.

And then there was Spencer Hastings which knew about your struggle with food. The person, who cuddles you during movie nights when you are cold from not eating a lot during the day, and does not mind if you refuse to eat big portions, if you ate at least small things in her presence. If she had learned one thing, it was not to push you but to give you space and take your own pace to improve.

Sometimes you thought to yourself that she did not care or took it seriously. She was too busy clarifying the person hiding behind an annoying letter in an alphabet. But you were wrong. So wrong. The brunette was more than just worried, paying attention to every little thing you ate. And sometimes Spencer was frightened about it.

Hunger took over and the aching stomach put you in a fetal position. With shaky hands, you fumbled around on your bedside table to look at your phone and manage to distract yourself, until you saw your best friend standing in the doorway. "Please, do not say anything. I know I am taking steps backwards," you whispered.

Spencer did not utter a single words as she walked towards you and gently pulled your frail figure into her arms. She kissed your hair and softly rocked you back and forth as you let your tears flow freely onto her shirt.

The two of you went to therapy sessions together with Dr. Sullivan, she did not force you in any way. You alone had the idea, but you asked her for support, which she was happy to give you. You did not want to disappoint her, as she was one of your best friends and a rock in the surf who enriched your life. Spencer knew how you felt, assured you that you would never disappoint her and you believed her by the beautiful smile that graced her lips.

"Can you please eat something small for me? An apple maybe?" She asked cautiously, afraid that she had ruined the moment and pissed you off. But she did not, instead you nodded into her chest and pulled away from her which she did not expected at all. "Very good, I will get you one quickly. Do not move."

The brunette quickly ran down the stairs and you were worried for a moment that she would break her legs at that speed in the dark. But she appeared back in your room without any injuries in no time and took her usual spot on your bed.

She held the apple in front of you and you swallowed hard before unceremoniously bringing it into your own hand and taking a small bite out of it. You found yourself feeling the food move into your stomach, hating the feeling of instant weight gain. The desire of hiding was great as your stomach slowly expanded and the doubt crept it. It was a constant battle. But the brunette never judged you for it.

"Thank you for trying to fix me," you whispered into the dark of the night, her arms firmly around your body as she leaned against the headboard of your bed. Spencer involuntarily pulled you closer to her and kissed your temple. Her head rested on yours, occasionally checking the mirror to see if you were eating. "You are trying to restore yourself, I am just your little support. You do not need me."

You did not know what to say to that, so you fell silent, but thought about the line she had uttered. This time the brunette was wrong, you needed her more than you would ever admit. The second time you started crying that night was not because you were hungry, but rather for the girl who you had become- so terrified of loving yourself.

“Hey do not cry,” she hummed quietly to herself, pulling your face up towards her. The pads of her thumbs wiped the salty tears from your face as her eyes lost in yours. Spencer was protective of you, knowing that all she could do was be there for you and pick you up when you could not do it yourself. You had to fight for yourself and stop the evil voices in your head from A telling you negative things about yourself. You were not ugly or fat like you thought. In her eyes, you were the most perfect person in the world and she loved you just the way you were.

"You are beautiful and we can do this, together." her voice was thick with emotion and the faint sobbing of the night echoed off the cold walls of your room. Despite the dark and heavyhearted atmosphere, something had changed inside both of you. You wanted to change, wanted to become a person who accepted herself and proudly loved her body. Not just for her, but for you.

Spencer, on the other hand, understood that after that evening, her feelings were not just based on friendship, but became more sensitive. Her heart loved you in good and bad times and she would fight with you, no matter what.

[oneshotnewbie]

In love with my best friend - Spencer Hastings x Reader

Authors note: This short story is not related to a request but is something I came up with that I couldn't get out of my head. Maybe you like it anyway! 🙈

Summary: There is one unspoken rule between best friends; never fall in love with them. But like most rules, this was made to be broken. You fell in love with Spencer and as luck would have it, she was dating Toby. But when you confess your love for her, everything turns out differently than you thought.

ᕚ---ᕘ

Spencer Hastings was undoubtedly your best friend. Not that you had many friends, although there were plenty of people you got along with, you trusted nobody as much like Spencer. You had no siblings but a sister could hardly have been closer to you- you knew that.

It was odd. After all, you did only known each other a few years, but you assumed that time played less of a role in friendship than the experiences shared. And fighting side by side against a common enemy was certainly something that could bond two young girls together.

Yes, Spencer Hasting was a great woman; smart, kindhearted, brave, super loyal and absolutely reliable. And that is exactly what started growing butterflies in your stomach. However, there was one flaw that let you know you will never get to call her your girlfriend- when she could not stop babbling about her boyfriend.

"Oh, come on, Y/n!" she wailed in a tone that made you want to squeeze your hands into fists and dig your fingernails into your skin. Just a little, it would hardly hurt. "Do you not want to know what he got me for our anniversary?"

"No, I do not want to" you hissed as you dropped the fork with a clatter into the bowl.

Spencer seemed taken aback for a moment, but then her face lit up and she waved the necklace in front of your face again while you stared grimly at the piece of tomato that jumped out of the bowl. "Ha! You are only saying that because you do not know how great he is!"

Then your patience, which is quite thin by nature, snapped. "Damn it, Spencer!" you lifted your eyes to your best friend, who had moved intrusively close to you. The brunette was not exactly known for keeping a distance of discretion. "I do not care how great your fucking Toby is, okay?"

She slowly slipped her hands off the chain around her neck and the wide grin faded from her face as if the harshness you displayed tonight had wiped it away. However, she did not seem offended. On the contrary, she seemed extremely worried. "What is going on, shorty?"

"Nothing is wrong," with shaky fingers, you tried to lift the mushy tomato between your nails and shove it into the sink. "Just because I do not want to take a closer look at that gold chain around your neck that you bother me with all the time does not mean something is wrong"

Inside, you were despairing. You would most likely to want her to yell at you. Would love to hear her say how bad of a person you were, not enjoying their happiness. Maybe then you would feel less like a monster than you already did.

"There must be a reason for my best friend´s grumpy face though. You are never usually like that"

This almost made you laugh out loud. You were in the midst of a terrible war of emotions and feelings that were raging inside of you. Love and hate were close together and fought flawlessly in your soul for the rightness of them. On one hand, you were happy that the brunette had found someone who loved her with all her faults and flaws. However, you had hoped that you were the one who could offer all of those things to her.

You sighed deeply and got up to dump your dinner into the trash; your appetite was completely gone. Spencer´s face changed from a deep confusion to a frighteningly serious one that sent a chill down your spine. "It is about Toby, is it not?" In your stance, you flinched slightly and did not let a word escape your mouth, but she instantly knew that her guess was correct. "Ever since I told you it was serious between the two of us, you seemed completely lost in thought and distanced"

You still retreated in silence, but your hands were shaking so much that you dropped the empty bowl into the sink. And the youngest Hastings had noticed that too. Quickly, she jumped out of her chair and put her arm comfortingly around your shoulders while you clutched the marble, knuckles already turning white.

"I love you.." you began to speak in a low voice, looking down at your fingers scraping the stainless steel. Emily had previously advised you to stay away from the subject and try to shut off your feelings. She had warned you urgently, yet you had ignored every word and walked into a circular saw with open arms.

And worst of all, you did probably jeopardized the friendship with your stupid revelation.

"I did not mean to develop feelings for you but I did not stop them the first time I felt it and-" Spencer could clearly hear the uncertainty in your restless voice and stopped you to catch your breath. She pulled you closer and if you did not know her better, you would have assumes that she would want to kill you for ruining her relationship with the boy she fell in love with. "You have to stop,"

"With what?"

"Wanting to explain yourself," she paused for a moment, biting her lip as the front of her body gently pressed against your back and her head hovered over your shoulder. A clearing of her throat escaped her before she continued to speak. "Y/n, look at me"

You turned your face to her and saw a strange sight, two adult friends standing close together, one pulling the other into a tight and loving embrace. You, aware of how close Spencer was to you and how your heart started pounding violently in your chest, could not help but smile. "If Toby would see us like this.."

The older one seemed confused for a moment, then laughed out loud until her body shook with yours. Gently, she wrapped both arms tightly around your body and her face moved dangerously close to yours, your lips almost meeting. "I do not care"

With a mixture of curiosity and nervousness, you looked into her large and brown eyes, the color of which had darkened and was almost unrecognizable through the enlarged pupils staring at you.

"May I..?" Her gaze dropped to your lips with the warmest, friendliest smile you had ever seen and you nodded as your heart started leaping with excitement in your chest. As her soft lips brushed yours and kissed them gently, you felt the almost unnatural warmth that spread through every single fiber of your body.

As Spencer unintentionally pulled away from you, there was silence for a long moment before she began to whisper barely audible. "I have been waiting for this moment for so long, I did not think it would ever happen" her lips slammed back onto yours, slowly kissing their way down to your chin and shoulder before nibbling at the tender skin of your neck.

The sensation you felt overwhelmed your senses, letting you moan briefly before you laid your head back and thus allowed her to dive further with rough bites. Your hands settled on her hips, gently pulling her closer to you. They roamed her whole body until they caught on the buttons of her expensive blouse, that you were feverishly trying to open.

Spencer and you were so busy with each other, that you did not realized you were being watched from the patio door.

[oneshotnewbie]

Can I request Spencer Hastings x Reader where A actually made Spencer hurt someone while being at the dollhouse where she is covered in blood and it's Reader? At the hospital Aria sees that Reader gets stitched up because she is having a deep cut from a knife and tells the other when she goes to Spencer's room? Spencer is all worried because you changed since then and are all quite and not that bubbly she used to know you and she also knows that A took all the anger out of Reader and she had to take the most shit because A thinks that Reader is the weakest member of the girls squad? At home Reader doesn't want to talk to Spencer or the girls at all until Spencer is all messed up on her door and crying her eyes out because she remembers what happens? Angst and fluff please???!

⚠️Trigger warning! ⚠️ This one-shot includes the topic of kidnapping, blood, stabbing/cutting wounds. These plots are presented. If this triggers you too easily or you just can´t handle the subject, I urge you NOT to read this work. I am NOT embellishing this topic under any circumstance. Read at your own risk.

---

Two months. Your friends and you had struggled to survive for two whole months.

A had played games with you, tortured, despised and treated you as puppets. Asking so much mentally that you all didn't even know what you should feel after your, almost failed, escape. At least not you.

You didn't know how you could ever be around your best friends again after A urged you to shock them, choose who was next to play his sick game and who wasn't allowed to get water for the next few days. But apparently they had taken out their desperation on you too; you didn't get anything to drink or eat for days. A even managed to bring Spencer to hurt you.

And now you were out of the underground hell and had no idea what to do next and how you should behave towards Spencer. She apparently had no idea about the night when you woke up on her bedroom floor, your best friend attacking you like a fury and hurting you; A had probably put her on some kind of drug.

But you escaped the chaos thanks to Alison and were now in the hospital for observation according to the circumstances and the lack of nutrients. Mentally you had suffered a lot and it was not easy for all of you to return to a regular life but you knew that somehow, the girls would get through it.

While the others had probably gathered to talk about what had happened, you were bound to your bed and frankly you were glad for it. Standing across from Spencer would be too uncomfortable for you at the moment.

You looked at the ceiling with your lackluster eyes while you gave the doctor the time to sew up the last few inches of your abdominal wound, not really listening to him or the words that came out of his mouth- Your thoughts completely wandering off.

They were repeatedly disturbed by a gentle drop of the liquid flowing to your vein and it was unbearable for you to hear this noise, it brought you back to the place where you didn't hear anything else except the ticking clock in your supposedly own room.

With a violent pull, the door to your room opened with a loud squeak and you jumped up before you let yourself fall back onto the couch with a wrinkled nose, a pained face and tightly closed eyes.

"I´m sorry. I did not know-eh." the short brunette stuttered as she stood in the doorway and looked at you in shock. Staring eyes and an open mouth embraced the long cut on your stomach, which stretched sideways to your navel.

A little embarrassed, you pulled the piece of cloth you were wearing over the doctor´s hands to uselessly hide the cut - she´d already seen it anyway. The old man in front of you stopped in his movements and put the instruments he had a hold of in his hands aside before turning to Aria. "I am asking you to leave. We´re in the middle of a treatment."

She nodded quickly apologized before she took a few steps back, still confused without further speaking, and the door clicked shut with a soft click.

You actually intended to keep it a secret from your friends, but you knew that as soon as Aria entered the other girls room, she would tell them what she had seen and you had no chance to talk your way out of it.

And then the whole truth would come out.

---

Confused by the imagine she had of her best friend and the huge gap on her abdomen a few seconds ago, the little brunette walked quickly down the hospital corridor to get to Spencer´s room where they all wanted to meet up.

She had not learned anything from just now and threw herself against the heavy door to open it, also without knocking first, and now stood in the entrance of the bare room. Three tired and lost pairs of eyes settled on her and surveyed the enraged statue, which stood in front of them with a wide open mouth.

Completely isolated in her thoughts, Aria sat down on one of the chairs that Emily had already placed in front of Spencer´s bed and fumbled around with her fingers. She bit her lip bloody from sheer worry and not knowing when the deep and long cut on your stomach was made and who was responsible for it, but one thing was clear; if she found out who A was, she would kill him for the pain that person had caused you and the others.

"Earth to Aria.. are you okay?" Hanna tore her out of her thoughts and gently nudged the smallest of the pack. Now Spencer and Emily, who were talking wildly earlier, had stopped and looked eagerly at the brunette. "Yes.. no. I´m okay but Y/n is not."

"What about her? Have you seen her?" Spencer abruptly intervened in the conversation, sitting up from her laying position. Her voice had lost it´s tone, was hoarse and low, even though she had just sounded perfectly normal not too long ago. "What happened?"

"I went to check on her because I was worried and then I saw how she was being treated." Aria quietly informed her friends as she cleared her throat and started playing with her fingernails. "She has a huge cut on her stomach. Something happened to her down there and she has not told us anything."

Shocked looks turned to the youngest of the group and she pushed back in the chair. Crossing her legs and arms, Aria looked back and forth between the girls and caught on to Spencer. She could clearly see the brunettes pulse in the main artery of her neck, the trembling of her dilated pupils surrounded by nervousness.

---

The situation between Spencer and you lay like a stone on the brunettes heart. Through therapy sessions with Sullivan, she had managed to partially bring her memories back to the fore.

The person she did this to was still fuzzy but it must have been you; the wound Aria had told her about matching where the blade in her hand pierced through the body beneath her. She had felt it was you. Of that she was sure.

But you remained silent about this situation as if this event had not happened in your reality. A week had passed in which you were discharged from the hospital with a whole medicine cabinet. Since then, you had been holed up in your room at your family home with no communication to Spencer.

Calls and messages flooded your phone, even literally exploding it with requests about getting in touch with her; at least let her know how you are doing. But she never got a single answer and your chat remained empty from your side.

The paths to your front door were softly lit as she walked through them. Flares were placed to the right and left of the pacing stone and illuminated the entire flower-planet front yard. The sprinkler system whirred next to her as she took one step after the other.

On the way here, she had given herself a motivational speech, but it disappeared with ever step she took.

Reaching the mahogany-like doors, she stood motionless and still on the patio. Her heart raced as she exhaled shakily and began pounding on them. It was a cooler evening, one of the firsts when she thought about it, and it had been too cold to wear a loose shirt. Spencer would have preferred a sweater, but that was of secondary importance.

As she waited, her mind filled with a bitter emptiness. She was terrified of a confrontation with you, but it would help her understand how you were feeling and how she could make amends. If anything. The brunette wanted to be pragmatic- the most efficient way to get a satisfactory answer.

Slow footsteps sounded on the other side of the door and she thumped heavily when she heard your faint voice in the distance. She huffed and ran a hand over her long brown hair before the door opened abruptly, revealing your pale and tired features under the hood of your white hoodie.

"Y/n.." she spoke cautiously and did not dare to look at you any further. She could see the pain you were in and Spencer felt even more guilty than before. She cleared her throat, nervously pulling her hands to strap of her bag that slung over her shoulder. "Before you slam the door in my face, listen to me. Please,"

You remained silent, disbelieving who you had in front of you.

Spencer could judge by your body language that you were more than just uncomfortable. All muscles tensed in your thighs through the dark blue ripped jeans you were wearing, your hands were tucked deep in the kangaroo pocket of your hoodie and yet she could tell you were fiddling with your fingernails nervously.

Without saying a word, you moved to the side and let her into the house. As she passed thankfully with pleading eyes, she breathed in deeply the floral perfume you were wearing. Spencer missed your closeness and your warmth towards her so much that she clung to every breadcrumb that was given to her in that moment.

"Are you home alone?" she asked in irritation as she was enveloped in the silence of the walls and saw only the flickering TV in the living room. You nodded firmly, your hands mostly tucked into your sleeves and positioned in front of your body. "My parents flew to Paris"

"And left you alone after you went through hell?!"

"What do you want, Spencer?" you shouted angrily and turned your head to her with a rigid expression. Your sudden explosion let her loosen from her rigidity before she stared at you with wide eyes and you thought you saw fear flicker in her eyes for a brief moment. "I do not think you came here to judge my parents."

The mood was strange. Cold, distant and restless. The unspoken swelled between the two of you. Sadness and fear burned in your chest while your best friend had a tiny spark of hope that she was trying to weave into normal conversation.

Motionless, the addressed person sat in front of you, looked deep into your pain-piercing eyes while tears stung hers. Spencer's heart was pounding deep in her chest and it had probably reached it´s highest point now. It pounded in her head, throat, abdomen and paralyzed her. It was indescribable.

The brunette swallowed hard and took a deep breath. She rested her elbows on the marble area and buried her head in her hands before rubbing across her nose. Very sheepishly with a shaky voice, she continued. "I know what I did. I remember."

Beside her you gasped and bit your lip, she could not quite identify the emotion she saw in your eyes. Where before there had been a coldness and severity, she now found something else. "W-what?" you said cautiously in a cracked voice.

Spencer kept shifting nervously on the bar stool, her hands alternately clawing at her pants, the counter in front of her or the disappeared back to the shoulder bag. "Just go now, Spencer. Please-I," you spoke suddenly, breaking her train of thought.

You ran a hand through your tousled hair nervously. "Y/n," she cut you off sharpy and your chest tightened. You found it difficult to breathe.

Spencer took another breath, ready to either explain or,what you thought was, more likely an apology. But she did not get around to it; you continued in a loud raging voice. "Do you actually know what I had to go through when you fucking came at me like a madman?"

You practically yelled at her, your voice already hoarse. You saw in your veil of tears how the older one flinched and her shoulders wandered to her ears. Nevertheless, she did not break her deep gaze, but got caught in your teary eyes. They had darkened. "Or how it felt to look into my best friend´s eyes, begging her not to do it while the knife was already penetrating my skin?"

The brunette felt like she was a little kid again. When she smashed the window with the hockey ball and was getting the lecture of the century from her parents. However, she would not end up in your comforting arms after she shed the first tears. You would not reassuringly run your fingers through her hair or insist that it was just glass and could easily be replaced.

No, this situation went much deeper.

Spencer opened her mouth that suddenly dried out. Tears streamed down her face in unison with yours and she let her eyes roam over you again. "I am so sorry.." she could not pronounce it, her throat tightening with every word. "I could never hurt you. A did something to me and that monster was not me. It is not me. I love you."

The leadership she took at the moment, trying to explain her actions, distracted from your troubled insides. You could not completely turn off your heart and the thoughts of the past hours and days.

Still, you knew her words were serious and she was genuinely sorry. It broke your heart to see her so upset. She too was under the influence of drugs that A had given her to commit the crime. You exhaled loudly and just looked at her, could not keep your mind from racing.

Slowly, you circled the counter and stepped carefully to her side. Your fingertips gently touched her cold, trembling and bare forearm. Spencer reacted to the touch she thought was impossible immediately and looked at you. A positive feeling flowed through her and she laid her head at the level of your belly button. You flinched at the pain, but swallowed it to keep her close.

You cupped her sticky, sweaty fingers and intertwined them with yours. Indescribable affection went through the brunette and she drew herself closer to the person who understood her so well. Who went through this hard time with her and who would master recovery together.

Relief flowed through the eldest, you could see it in her face which showed the corners of her mouth far raised. She knew that she still had a rough road with you ahead and that she had to help you to trust her completely again. Above all, you needed someone to overcome the nightmare and the anxiety.

But most of the ballast had fallen off her. A decisive step in the right direction.

[oneshotnewbie]

I have no idea if I’ve already requested this. So sorry if I have. But could you do Veronica Hastings with a younger shy reader who is friends with the girls (after high school, obviously not a minor) and the girls find out about their relationship and get upset, so Veronica comforts the crying reader and then confronts the girls ( nobody hurts her babygirl) and it all works out??? I love Veronica and no one writes for her. I feel like she’d call the reader ‘honey’ and ‘baby’, and just be overall protective. I love all your stories❤️

A/n: I got carried away, sorry it's so long. As indicated in the request, the reader is older and about the age of Spencer today (28) so.. not a minor! Spencer lives in her own apartment and not anywhere near the Hastings house. Also Alison is not in the story. I hope it´s okay! :)

---

It was a grey, stormy and rainy day that A had chosen to clear the air with your best friends and drop the biggest bombshell of your life. The rain hit the window panes hard and transformed your otherwise calm demeanor into endless nervousness.

The air filled with silence, irrepressible stillness. A light breeze from the tilted window in Spencer's kitchen blew around you, giving the situation a superbly cold environment and brushing your long grown hair onto your shoulder. Your heart was pounding in your throat, your agitation evident in the trembling of your hands.

"Spencer, say something. Please." you spoke softly into the silence that was so unusual for the five of you. Eight pairs of eyes were immediately focused on you and your fear grew as their pupils dilated in shock. They stared at you wordlessly with their mouths wide open. You had no idea what was going on inside Spencer, quite not understanding the meaning and the truth behind the message that had reached you all recently.

"Is that true?", despite the unplanned incident that had ruined your evening, the one addressed was sitting on one of the bar stools acting calm and trying to understand it all. She raised an eyebrow in a way that sent a chill down your spine. "Why?"

"She´s your best friends mom, Y/n! How could you do that to her?"

You nervously wiped your sweaty hands on your tight jeans, hoping she didn´t notice how you were shaking, not knowing what to say.

What would she think when you would confess to her that you couldn´t think straight when Veronica was around. When your heart was beating as fast as it is now and you were afraid it would jump out of your chest when she stood next to you. When your skin started to tingle whenever her fingers touched a single spot on your body.

Her eyes were beautiful and had this warm shade of brown, a brown like you´ve never seen on anyone. They always reminded you of light chocolate or a warm autumn day. And every time you lost yourself in them when they stared at you with love and care.

"Mrs. Hastings is so much older than you, couldn´t you get someone your age?" asked Hanna and you couldn´t help but roll your eyes. You quickly rotated in your chair and looked at her seriously. "Oh, but Aria can start something with her teacher?"

"This is something completely different, Y/n! Don´t drag Ezra and me into this."

Inside, your encouraged yourself to let your opinion about everything they do and have done out but involuntarily held your breath. Then, you clared your throat and started to stutter, but this was immediately stopped by the raspy voice of the housekeeper. "We´re friends, we trust each other! We´ve been through so much and you´re hiding this from me, from us? How long?"

You tried not to show your insecurity but sighed in agony. Words just wouldn´t leave your lips and you would like to run away at this point.

"You know what? Forget it. I want you out of here. Get out of my house!" Spencer yelled and you jumped so hard that the coffee in your hand spilled over the rim of the cup and spilled onto the marble counter.

The pitch and tone, the way she pronounced every single term, gave each simple word it´s own special touch, a frightening one that made you shudder and jump out of your seat. Packing your bag and a few small things together, you squeezed past Aria and Hanna and disappeared out of the street.

Spencer shakes her head, letting go of her defensive position at the kitchen counter as she pushes herself off and surveyed the three ladies next to her. Hastily, she stroked her wrinkled forehead in disbelief. "I urgently need a drink now, otherwise I will go crazy. You too?"

All three nodded in unison and spread out to carry out glasses and the delivery cards for the food order.

---

It was well past midnight when you barged into the Hastings house and Veronica was sitting in the living room, paperwork in hand as she concentrated on revising a file. You didn´t know where to go at this late hour, you didn´t want to go back to your empty apartment alone, where you had to worry about whether your best friends still wanted to have anything to do with you after all this.

Frightened by the loud slamming of the door into the lock, her gaze turned up to you and looked into your eyes intently while she gave you a loving smile. "Hey, what are you doing here so late? I thought you wanted to spend the night with your girls?"

You didn´t answer and stood there still, the rain that had soaked into your scarf and your coat only dripping lightly on the expensive parquet floor. You ran your cold and shaky fingers through your soaked hair and brushed back some strands that had been blocking her view of your face.

Only when she took a closer look and the light of the dull lamp in the living room illuminated you, she clearly saw that instead of the usual water falling from the sky, real tears escaped your eyes and were running down your cheeks.

Immediately, the printed papers fell onto the table and she pushed herself up from her seat with her hands firmly placed on her thighs. With quick steps, she skirted the corner of the sofa and walked towards you with outstretched arms. You literally fell into her arms, sobbing into her embrace as she hugged you tightly and drew her fingers in soothing circles over your hair. "What´s going on my love?"

"The girls, they figured it out. They know about us." sobbing, you pressed against her and she pulled you even closer before the older one pulled away shortly after and wrapped her fingers softly around one of your wrists. "Come here."

Urgently, Veronica sat down in her previous seat and slapped her thigh with her free hand as a sign for you to sit on her lap. You followed her silent request and took a seat. Resting your head on her shoulder, you hid your face in the crook of her neck and wrapped your arms around her middle.

"From the looks of you, things didn´t go as well, huh?" gentle palms of hands slid from your hips to your shoulder blades, touching them tenderly and very lightly. Goosebumps began to spread over your body rapidly as her touch triggered a pleasant shiver and your stomach started to tingle.

The silence she got back in reply worried her and she pressed her lips together thoughtfully. She pulled away from you for a brief moment and sighed as she whispered your name into your ear. "Y/n." she whispers softly, her lips brushing over your cheek, lovingly.

But your gaze remained downcast and your posture showed no attempt that your eyes would soon swivel up to her. She set about catching your gaze herself and so her index finger pressed under your chin, slowly and carefully guiding your head towards hers. "Look at me honey."

"Spencer kicked me out of her apartment." you started to speak; your voice thick from the tears you tried to swallow. Your heart was racing when your glassy eyes met her maple brown ones and as if by reflex, one of her hands jumped into your hair and pushed you forth against her chest. "Her look was so cold and there was this pure disappointment in her eyes. And the other girls didn´t even say anything about it, they didn´t even defend me or anything. They just stood there and were appalled by me. Even Aria who was dating her damn teacher!"

Veronica had to swallow and couldn´t believe what she was hearing. Quarrels between you were normal, she had noticed them often enough and sometimes even had to separate you personally before you would have strucked each other´s head.

But Spencer had never kicked you out, no matter how bad the argument was. The lawyer was speechless and sighed in disbelief at the behavior of her own daughter. You were inseparable; have known each other for far longer than anyone else and yet she had managed to treat you like that and not stand by your side.

"Listen, I will get Spencer and the others over here first thing in the morning and sort this out. No one has the right to treat my girl like that, not even my own daughter." she hissed under her breath and leaned towards the table to grab her phone. With a quick tap of her newly manicured fingernails on the screen, she rushed a quick message into the text block and tossed it back to her side as soon as she finished.

"Everything will be okay, honey. I will explain everything to the girls tomorrow and everything will be back to normal. You know how Spencer is, she can never stay mad at you for long. You are everything to her."

You looked up at her again and you could see the truth in her eyes. They were like a mirror to her soul and you could see right away what she was thinking or if she was lying. But this time it was different, she meant her sentence and you had to believe her.

She was the last hope of reuniting with your best friends.

"Why are you looking at me like that, my love?" the brunette required; a slight smile playing around her seductive, curved lips. Her sunny smile gave you the warmth and security in that moment. It saved you from the swamp of despair and gave you confidence that things will be better between you and your friend again. "I love you."

"I love you too," her lips started touching your cheeks slightly before making their way to your temples, back to your nose and finally to your lips again. "But now we have to dry and warm you up my love. You are freezing cold."

---

"You took it too far!" you heard a harsh voice screaming from the living room and woke up from your sleep. Opening your eyes just a crack, you felt across the bed for your woman´s warm body, whose arms were usually wrapped around you at all times. But this time the place was cold, the covers thrown energetic onto the side of the bed frame, laying half over the edge and on the floor. "You´re overreacting!"

"We´re overreacting? Mom, you shagged my best friend."

With your elbows supporting you, you pulled yourself up and ruffled your tousled hair. For a moment, you thought about dropping back down and just throwing the covers over your head, but this argument was about you and you knew it would be worse if you didn´t show up downstairs.

"Spencer." Veronica looked blankly at her daughter, her eyes clear and fixed on her younger self as a serious and balanced expression formed on her face. She raised her eyebrows sharply and snorted out in anger. "Be mad at me all you want but leave her out of it."

You tiptoed down the wooden stairs and stopped in the middle of it; the perfect place to have an overview of the whole living room and kitchen. Up until now, no one had noticed you. "Leave her out of it? Mom, she is already in the middle of it!" the brunette suddenly snapped, pointing her open hand in your direction.

You swallowed hard when you saw the sparkle of anger in her eyes, it almost scared you if you didn´t know her better. All eyes were suddenly on you and you would have liked to sink into the ground, but Veronica stopped you, waving her arm as a sign that you should approach her.

You slowly walked to your girlfriend´s side and her hand gently snuggled around your waist. Normally, you enjoyed the warmth, the closeness and the gesture, but you didn´t want to let your best friend and the others get angry with you.

"Spencer, please." you almost sounded pleading and desperate. Tears welled up in your eyes and Veronica pulled you closer, planting a soft kiss on your temple. "I really love your mother. Tell me why you don´t accept our relationship.. what have I done? Do you think I am not enough?

"You could see Spencer wrestling with herself, your words and what you thought she was mad at you for hurt her a lot. Suddenly, she wasn´t sure anymore why she was that at all. Actually, she wanted to be happy for you, especially after the pain and loss you had gone because of A. She was sorry for what she had said to you and how she treated you. The brunette shouldn´t have put all that in your head.

Another minute passed as the girls stood at the kitchen counter, not making up their minds. Spencer eyeing the petite person in her mother´s arms and let her gaze wander over your when she caught your teary eyes.

Spencer could see sadness, fear and disappointment and felt the hurt she had set up in you. The brunette´s gaze automatically softened and a very light, gentle smile graced her lips.

You were her closest friend of all the girls and she could have slapped herself for hurting you. That brought her out of her thoughts and she tried to find the right words in her head, but your big, red and puffed eyes were an awful distraction.

Neither of you had said a word and just looked at each other. It was almost as if you were having a telepathic conversation, which in a way you were. You could see in each others eyes what both of you were thinking but couldn´t put it into words.

The youngest Hastings considered the best way to express herself, but for the first time in her life she seemed to have run out of words and decided to let action speak for itself. She quickly walked around the kitchen island and hugged you tightly. You were briefly perplexed and stiffened in her arms, but returned her hug and relaxed after a short while.

Being close to her was exactly what you needed at that moment. You clung to her and laid your head on her shoulder. You just stood there for a long time and enjoyed each others warmth- you both really missed each other in such a short time. Eventually, Spencer pulled her head back enough to look you in the eyes again, but didn´t let you go out of her grasp. "I am sorry."

She has whispered it, almost breathed it, and you could her the sheer seriousness in her voice. At the same time, it caused a warm shiver through your whole body- a feeling of happiness as everyone would say. You closed your eyes briefly and looked to the side where you saw Veronica´s smiling face. The girls had also had a happy facial expression and were glad that the argument finally came to an end.

You nodded back to Spencer and brought out a breathy "me too" as your voice cracked in the silent house.

Once again, she wrapped you in a tight hug and you tensed up slightly again, but not because you were uncomfortable, but to suppress the tears of joy that came up. The argument had taken a toll on you, more than you thought at first, but now you felt nothing but pure happiness that sucked all the pain from the last few hours out of your body.

[oneshotnewbie]

TW for s/h before i begin

Hey!! I was wondering if you’d do a fic for Spencer Hastings x reader where she finds out the reader is self-harming?? Maybe she walks in on them and they talk about it and she comforts them?If not then that’s perfectly okay!! I know it’s a sensitive subject

Trigger Warning!!! Mentions of self harm and slight blood.

---

"Y/n, I fou-" she mumbled in her breath as she opened the door to your room at a speed that blew a cold wind in your direction. The brunette paused in the position she entered and looked up from the sheet of paper at you, hoping she would meet your eyes. But instead, the only thing her gaze found and looked at was your back.

You were sitting with your back turned to her, not saying a single word or greeting her as usual with a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

The mirror you had in your room was unfavorable for this situation; it showed Spencer your bloody arms and the individual blood-smeared handkerchiefs on your lap, as well as something silver shining in your hand that you pressed on a vacant place on your wrist.

With a shiver that ran down your back and the throbbing in your chest that gave your panic one more reason to intensify, your body understood earlier than your mind and signaled you that you have been busted. But still, you let the blade run over your skin one more time and another cut was formed that slowly filled with small dots of blood. "Y/n, what the hell are you doing?!"

The pieces of paper that were previously in her hand flew rudely onto the desk and were spread unsorted on it while she walked around the bed, tucked a lost strand of hair behind her ear and knelt in front of you.

With a skillful and quick grip, she tore the blade out of your hand, without further injuring yourself or herself, and laid it on the bedside table before her attention were back to you.

Her thumb and index finger circled the bone of your wrist and carefully pulled it closer to her body to examine the individual wounds. With small swings and a closer look over the depth of them, her view pulled up to you and looked into your emotionless and completely tearful face. "Honey, why?"

"I felt numb. Cutting myself was my way of dealing. It helped me feel."

Slightly panicked, her grip loosened and she walked out the door of your room into the bathroom, but not without taking the blade with her to prevent further injuries that you could cause yourself. Some time later, in which you hadn't moved an inch and let your thoughts wander, she came back with disinfectant, plasters and dampened paper towels she found under the sink.

Spencer knelt back down and with a sad grimace on her face and an exhaling sigh, she laid out the individual materials to treat you next to her before her hand reached back to your wrist. "Why didn't you came to the other girls or me in the first place?"

The brunette dabbed the moistened cloths with caution on your wrist, slowly removing the blood from them while your expression twisted in slight pain. With a plaster in her mouth ready to open it with her teeth to stick it on the wounds, she waited patiently for your answer.

"I didn't wanted to be a burden."

"Babygirl, you are not a burden. Never." she replied between clenched teeth around the adhesive paper. Her features were tense, her eyes strained and focused in her medical aid. She tried to be as careful as she could so as not to let you feel any more pain, her fingertips just gently touching your skin.

"I am sorry." you blurted out in a low, almost whispering voice. The tears that were reflected in your eyes and slowly found their way back onto your cheeks as you started to play with the corners of the bandages, that Spencer had stuck to your wounds shortly before.

Of course she noticed it immediately; she was on the same sight level as your hands. Spencer tried to push your fingers away,as a warning to stop your gimmicks and laughed briefly before her gaze became more serious.

You didn't stop and shortly afterwards, she just took your hands in hers, holding onto them - the brunettes thumbs drawing smooth and reassuring circled on the back of your hands.

"Don't be." Spencer acknowledged, breathing out deeply. Her gaze turned up to you and your eyes met and merged for a short time. "You're my family, Y/n. I care about you. When something is wrong, we talk. We don't take a blade to our skin."

[oneshotnewbie]

Can I request Spencer Hasting where she is Hella protective over Reader? Maybe Reader gets attacked by A when she is alone on the way home from the gym or so and she gets hurt and she calls Spencer for help. Spencer is all mad and angry but lovingly patching up Readers bruises and cuts while telling her that she can't get alone outside now without her because she doesn't want that Reader gets hurt otherwise and more badly? They are pretty close, closer than the other girls

Spencers cell phone rang in her normal ringtone, roused her from her thoughts and made her startle for a moment. The file that she had fed with various information from A since the second it got more dangerous, fell annoyed in front of her on the wooden table while she let herself fall back on the couch, exhausted.

She looked at the ceiling and groaned while massaging the sore spots on her temples. She took a few deep breaths to calm down before she fumbled for the cell phone on the table, thinking that you had texted her that you were coming in late from your gym session.

Broken ribs and bruised lips. My anger grows and I am always close. Tell Dr. Sullivan or anyone about me and your beloved Y/N will pay the price.

- A 💋

Skipping the lines several times, the brown-haired tried to get a meaningful result from the first lines of the repulsive text before your photo popped up on her phone screen and she answered immediately.

"Spenc?" her name echoed muffled through the receiver, the pain in your voice couldn't be overheard. The scraping of the iron carabiners from your bag and the rattling of your bracelets and rings on the cold floor gave her cause of concern and she pricked up her ears. "Y/N, are you okay?"

"Not really," you said in a whisper and dared to try to lift yourself off the ground, but in vain. Instead, you cried out and Spencer was on alert, her tiredness was gone. "What happened?"

"I was attacked by A's henchmen."

As soon as the last words left your lips, her eyes opened wide in shock and her tiredness was overtaken by anger. With a skillful push off the couch, the brunette grabbed the file and jumped up the stairs to her room where she placed the papers in her safe hiding place and rushed down to grab her car keys. "Where are you?"

"I'm down the street from your house at the intersection." you panted out as you looked around, trying to stand up again.

You definitely knew that you had at least one bruised rib.

---

After Spencer found you where you let her know beforehand, she helped you into her car and drove you to her home, but only at your request. You didn't want to go to the hospital or home for your parents to ask questions about your condition and you knew the brunettes were out and about in New York.

Tenderly and with one arm around your waist to support you, she helped you into the house and gently sat you down on the couch before taking off your jacket and ordering you to lie down. "I should drive you to the hospital to be on the safe side. I can treat scratches, a bleeding lip and bruises, but I can't X-ray your rib."

While you threw yourself agonizingly on the couch with a small scream, you waved your hand negatively and she rolled her eyes. She literally bit her teeth at cement because of your stubbornness.

"It's not broken so I am not going to die, Spenc." did you joke and you could tell by her turn from the fridge and look that she didn't like it at all. "A couple of pain pills and cool packs and I will be fine."

"It could all have turned out much worse!" she shouted from the kitchen before joining you and handing you an ice pack in a kitchen towel. "Put that on your lip, stupid." You smiled thankfully and immediately pressed it onto the wound and the cool made you moan out.

While she disappeared from your sight again to get the rest utensils to mend you from the bathroom, you heard her cursing. She hated it when you got hurt and there was nothing she could do about it except watch and fix you after. This has been the case since kindergarten; if you fell of the swing, she was angry and wouldn't let you on it. If you got your heart broken, she broke the guy in different ways.

Spencer was always protective of you and always blamed herself when she wasn't around to protect you from the pain.

"Y/N? Are you still there?" you heard her drowning out your thoughts.

You hadn't noticed that she was sitting on the small table in front of you and was already starting to soak the cotton pads with disinfectant and laying out the plasters.

With a questioning and slightly worried look that she underlined with a raised eyebrow, the brunette looked you in the eyes. She was trying to figure out what you were thinking about and where you got stuck. "Everything okay? Maybe I should call Winn."

"No, I am fine. Trust me." you tried to calm her down and Spencer knew she could trust you. You were always honest with her, no matter what, so she could count on you to let her know if you were going to feel worse.

With a nod she began to wipe the already dried blood from your chin and lip with the cotton pad and you hissed when the disinfectant hit the open wound. Your teeth clenched together, you clutched at the fabric of the couch in pain. "I don't want you to go anywhere by yourself until we know who A is or how many of them are out there."

"Why? It could have happened to any of us."

"No." she sighed and wanted to change the cotton pad but you stopped her moving with a gentle grip on her wrist as you looked at her intently. She was hiding something from you.

Reluctantly, she dropped everything on the table and pulled her cell phone out of her jacket. Without a word she opened the message she got before your call and stretched the screen in front of your face.

Confused, you took her phone in your hands and read through the lines while she silently went back to patching you up. You kept going through this rhyme and you knew what was going on in Spencer at that moment; she was terrified. She underlined her anger and fear for you by screaming at you desperately, unintentionally. "Damn, you are so stubborn! Please listen to me just once, please! You are not invulnerable!"

"Spencer, calm down." you tried to calm her down, her face was already completely red. "SPENCER!"

She interrupted her panic and looked at you with wide eyes and open mouth. "I promise I won't go out without Han, Aria, Em or you anymore. But please, calm down okay? Nothing happened."

"Listen, if anything happens to you - and we're not talking about bruises or scratches - I will go berserk."

You chuckled about that sentence and looked at her. Her gaze was serious, the brunettes cheeks flushed in only a light red. She tried to swallow her anger by watching you and your movements, looking at your smile and that shine in your eyes that despite the last few years of terror wasn't gone.

You were tough, and she had to be it too.

"I am serious, I will track down A and kill that bitch when she tears off a single hair off of you."

[oneshotnewbie]

Ah I loved the PLL one shot! Can we please get an emily fields one where the reader is her little sister and they find them in a life threatening situation and emily has never been more scared (reader got injured while protecting her sister). You can make it as angsty as you want!!

A/N: I feel a bit better and I couldn't wait to post again so.. here we go! :)

---

You were out, once again following a trail to A when you had the feeling of being followed and observed by several eyes. It was too dark to see anything, the glow of your flashlights were too weak to shine through the vastness of the deep forest.

"Folks, we should go. I think we're being watched." you talked in the direction of the four other girls in front of you while you pressed your jacket closer to your body, following their steps and kept shining backwards. "Don't be so paranoid, Y/N and start searching." Hanna whispered back annoyed, which gave the dark atmosphere even more space for fear.

While the others searched the area near the tiny burned barn, the rustling of the deciduous trees in the wind of the evening and the cracking and breaking of individual branches behind you made you crazy. Any kind of noise made you listen attentively and made your heart race faster.

You swallowed hard and turned back to your friends, you couldn't get rid of the feeling that something was wrong and that danger was lurking for you. "We have to get out of here!" you demanded before something hissed past you and got stuck in the old wood of the door from the burned house in front of you. It was a small arrow that easily missed you by not even an inch. "Get down!"

You looked quickly in the direction where the arrow was coming from before your shaking hand reached out to it and pulled it out of the charred wood. You threw yourself down on the floor and crawled to your sister which pulled you by your arm behind a piece of wood for cover. "Are you hurt?"

"Just my feelings, the next time you all don't fucking listen to me." you snapped and leaned your back against the wall while trying to calm down from your adrenaline kick, your body trembling in your sisters body. You took a deep breath before you held the object in front of your face to inspect the missile. With your index finger, you trailed the tip of it; it was sharp and could do significant damage at that speed.

"A bow?" Aria stammered as she looked over Emily to you and the thing in your hand. Your eyes slowly traveled to Aria, the whole situation visibly scared her as her body trembled and her voice cracked. "A crossbow, smaller and more dangerous." replied Spencer in a hushed tone.

Two more times it hissed behind you and Emily took your head protectively in her arms and hid it with her own while you heard fearful screams from your side. The attacker knew exactly where you were hiding; the arrows got stuck in front of you in the rolled up hay bales, a few centimeters away from you.

"We need a plan, NOW!"

You went through every single way you could get your friends and sister out of here safely. You didn't know how many of them were out there hunting you, you didn't even had a clue where you left Spencer's car. "There is no other way out, we have to run." You stated and hoped the brunette genius would intervene and suggest a better idea, but when she nodded and scanned her eyes for a way out through the rubble, you knew that there was nothing left you could do.

You turned on your knees and peaked your head over the ledge when you saw two people in black come towards you. This time, panic kicked in and you sank to the ground before you looked in shocked faces and counted down. "Run but keep your heads down!"

While Aria, Hanna & Spencer squeezed through the ailing wooden beams that were still standing, you pushed Emily forward with one hand on her lower back to get her to move before you started to sprint and jump over the beams after her.

The arrows that just flew past your head and the unpleasant sound they left in your ears mixed with the screaming of the other girls was uncomfortable and made you wince every time. You tried to follow Emily, even if she was far faster than you, she dragged you by the hand and you could feel your legs slowly getting tired and you getting out of breath.

You and your sister got separated from the others short after and ran in a completely different direction. Now you were definitely unsure whether you were on the right track at all or whether you would run into A's hands. "Emy, I need a break." you puffed as you stopped in an open and free place, resting your hands on your knees while breathing heavily.

While she was about to begin to talk, loud footsteps came out of the forest again. You could only see the black figure in your line of sight before the person pulled his crossbow in front of his chest and pulled the trigger.

"Emily!"

As if in slow motion, you crossed the last few meters with your last strength and shoved her aside with an violent push. You heard her grunting as she slid across the ground, gravel digging into her skin as you heard a sharp intake of breath shortly followed with her pulling herself back up, holding the arm she fell on.

You doubled over, falling to the floor and now were laying on the ground. You let out a short, painful scream that filled the whole atmosphere while trying to support yourself with your elbows. But it didn't work, you lost your strength and fell to the ground again, noticing a sharp pain in your upper stomach.

You raised your head and looked at the sore spot; an arrow had pierced your torso and was still stuck in you, a big blood stain already starting to cover your white shirt. "Damn." you mumbled while you put your hands around the arrow to stabilize it. "Oh my god, Y/N!"

She ran to you and threw herself on the floor next to you, completely blocking out her pain. With her good hand, she hovered over your stomach, trying to do something but didn't know what. "No no no." the pain you could her in your sister's voice made a chill run own your spine - or was it the cold that gradually spread through your entire body? "I don't know what to do. I don't know."

You clenched your teeth before speaking, your voice fragile and weak, your lips starting to turn blue. "You have to..." you bit your lip to keep from screaming. "Call the girls. Get the car."

While she nodded and pulled up her nose, she took her cell phone out of her pocket and called Hanna. She explained in short sentences what had happened while she paused every now and then to take a deep breath and to check if you were still with her.

You were trembling uncontrollable and the vision in front of your eyes became blurred while the pain faded slowly but steady. "We're at some small lake. Come quickly, she is loosing a lot of blood. PLEASE!" she yelled into the phone before it fell on the gravel. Her finger intertwined with your bloody hand. "It's okay, do you hear? You will be okay."

She pressed your cold hand tighter into hers while she placed them on her lap. With her aching and bruised arm, she brushed your hair from your face and you could see by her impression how overwhelmed she was with this situation. "You saved me."

"Do you see the stars and the moon? They are so beautiful." did you start talking to distract your sister from what was happening at that moment. She was hyperventilating. "Do you remember the camp? We always looked for the individual stars in out astrology book." you whispered and raised your free hand once more to the sky. You noticed how your consciousness slowly faded and your breathing became difficult; it was now flat and painful.

"Yes it was beautiful." she whispered and began to smile. She remembered the wonderful time with you under the stars. You were always so excited when she told you which signs were currently in the sky and heard her stories until you fell asleep. For a brief moment her tears had stopped flowing and her worries disappeared. "Do you remember your favorite story?"

But there was no answer.

In a flesh she looked down at you and only now noticed that your hand was no longer holding her but was just lying loosely in it. The other hand had fallen to the side from your stomach and was also motionless while your eyes were closed and you no longer responded to any attempt she was making to wake you up.

One down, four to go. - A

[oneshotnewbie]

THE EMILY ONE SHOT WAS SO GOOD OH MY GOD CAN WE PLEASE HAVE A CONTINUATION

A/N: Guys, I am so sorry for my absence. I've hadn't time two write in two weeks because we are renovating our whole house and I've had to, besides my work and dog to care, do 80% of the shit my mother was up to. But now I am almost finished with it and can say that I came back to my usual routine where I can write more frequently. Thank you for staying with my blog ♥

---

You woke up to different voices, all of which moved around you and discussed quietly to themselves. Like a thick fog around your brain, you heard everything but all information evaporated like a strong wind into nothing.

The attempt to open your heavy eyelids and perceive the world around you failed. Your body also thwarted your plans; it was numb and completely unable to obey your commands. Your dry and chapped lips formed a sentence but your vocal cords failed and only let out a scratchy groan.

"I think she's finally waking up!" remarked someone next to you who held their hand on your head and slowly ran their thumb over your hair. You only realized in retrospect which perfume this person wore and that it was Spencer before you let your head fall closer to her side and she let out a small laugh. "Emily will go crazy when she hears you woke up and she wasn't here."

A light and weak smile came over your lips and you moved even closer to the warm body next to you. The brunette had meanwhile sat down with half of her body on your bed to show you that she was there for you and put an arm protectively over your hip; careful not to hit your wounds and cause you pain.

Your eyes slowly began to adjust to the bright light when it turned into a color that you could stand. You looked around and realized that you were in the hospital. The bare grey walls and the smell of disinfectant that you had previously blocked out, crept into your nose and made it wrinkle.

"Where's Emily? Is she okay?" you asked raspy and looked at Hanna who was sitting on the end of the bed and was stroking your lower legs. She looked down at the duvet before smiling up and nodding. "Calm down, she is okay. You saved her."

"We're so glad you're okay, babygirl." Spencer chimed in and gave you a kiss on your hair before she rested her cheek on the side of your head.

At the perfect moment the door was opened with full force and a totally dissolved and completely finished Emily came running through the door, followed by Aria who had some food and coffee in her hand and all three of you were startled, the brunette behind her was also shocked by your sisters action.

Emily's shiny eyes were red and dull, her perfect complexion was totally ruined by the salty tears that adorned her skin and she looked as if she hadn't slept for nights and, according to the force with which she had opened the door, more Coffee in her system as Spencer in a week.

"Sorry. I- had no idea - ah intention." she stumbled over her own words as she quickly ran to the closet in your room and threw her jacket in to the others. "Em.." tried Aria to get her out of her totally confused situation when she noticed that you were no longer lying unconscious in your bed.

Your sister had apparently not yet noticed that you were already awake and you were watching every movement she made with your tired eyes. "I saved your life and you treat me like air?" you coughed in a harsh and low voice. Hanna was immediately at your side and poured you a glass of water while Emily stopped moving, her back turned to you and still standing at the open closet. "Where is my 'hey sister' and a 'thank you for saving my ass'?"

The older Fields was afraid to turn around. She was afraid of it and that it was all just a hallucination she was in due to sleep deprivation. It was the internal strife between good and bad that kept her from turning to your bed.

The brunette gripped the closet door and wall unit with her hands so tightly that even the blood escaped from them and made her skin look white. She shook her head barely noticeably, but that didn't help either - Emily had to turn around to confirm for herself whether this was just a dream or reality. "Emmy?"

With a deep breath she turned and looked into your tired eyes. Your skin was pale - almost grey from the loss of blood and dark circles formed under your eyes. Your powerless body hung on machines and at this sight her hair on the back of her neck stood up.

In this moment, her mind brought her back to the moment you stopped breathing in front of her eyes. Tears started to form and stung in her eyes, mixing with the view in front of her as she slowly began to walk towards you.

"Y/N." she sobbed while she pressed a strand of hair behind her ear and stopped in front of your bed. Struggling, she raised her shaky hand and gently placed it on top of yours, tapping it fearfully a few times before your hand drew hers into yours.

Your warmth, which trembled into her body through this touch alone, brought relief with it. Like a house of cards, Emily collapsed and fell around your neck. Her tears ran quickly from her eyes and all the pent-up feelings she had been carrying over the last few days left her body. "I am so sorry."

"Don't be, its okay. I am fine."

While you gently stroked her back and she tried to press closer to you without hurting you, Aria, Spencer and Hanna started to pack their stuff and said goodbye to you in silence. They wanted to give you the time and privacy to talk.

"You could have died and I would have never forgiven myself." sniffed the older of you as she straightened up again, wiping away her tears as her eyes met your gaze. You disappeared in your thoughts for a short moment, all the memories from that evening coming back.

The pain that had eaten you up from the inside out and the coldness that took over your body. The cold path beneath you and the slow and unbearable moment where you couldn't fight anymore and lost conciousness. You notices how something in you tried to defend itself against these thoughts as you started to shake and your voice was muffed from all the tears you tried to swallow. "But I didn't, I am still alive."

Trembling, you tried to get into a comfortable position while trying to avoid your sister's gaze. Clearing your throat and with the play of your fingernails, Emily knew that you were trying to hide how you were really doing and how you were coping with the situation and so she stopped talking about her feelings and hugged you wordlessly. Your protective wall broke in her arms shortly after and your strength faded far away.

"We gonna get through this together."