#speed the collapse ( LOU WOLFE x EDDIE )

[fullofvoices]

          SHE’D ASKED THEM NOT TO COME. It’s embarrassin’, were her words, followed by furrow-browed threats and closed fists. Of course they were going to go– It was an opportunity to see Lou Wolfe all dolled up, something that never happened outside of her pageants, and the fodder for teasing was far too much to resist.

After greeting her mother and chit-chatting, all charming words and smiles, Ida gives them a knowing look, particularly when Shaun mentions wanting to wish Lou good luck. She points a finger at him, eyes narrowed, but she’s smiling. Come with me, she demands in a feigned sigh, and leads them backstage, past a bunch of girls running around and squawking. Stay right here, and she’s gone.

A moment later, as the boys rib each other for catching the attention of a few of the prettier contestants, Ed’s smacked from behind, causing him to whip around, hand rubbing the area of impact on his shoulder. Before he can say a thing though, he’s stunned silent by the beauty in his view. It takes him a solid half a minute to realize he’s staring at his best friend, dressed to the nines, makeup complimenting even that frown on her face. She looks like a princess, something straight from a fairytale.

But when Shaun speaks, complimenting her and causing her expression to blossom in pink, he quickly realizes that the princess, this fairytale? It isn’t his.

[fullofvoices]

         “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE LEAVIN’?”

His heart already hurts from the weeks of back and forth, from going to the courthouse, from listening to Charlie drone on and on about the case. More than anything, though, she has caused its pain. Everything about her lately has been a complete mystery and yet, he understands bits and pieces. She’s an open book written in some language he doesn’t know, but the pictures give a bit of an idea.

Always the girl with fire in her soul, she’s been an outright conflagration since Shaun’s death, murder on her tongue, gasoline in her veins. She’s a walking rampage most of the time, but at night, at the Falls, when he has her alone, the tears build up and crest. The fire only burns in her kiss then, and while he knows he shouldn’t, they shouldn’t, he allows it all to happen, time and again, knowing she’d just wander off, regroup, and come right back eventually.

But here she is, saying goodbye. The solid, difficult goodbye. The one she means entirely. He knows because she won’t actually say the words. Parting isn’t a sweet sorrow; it’s bullshit.

“C’mon. Don’t. You can’t— Lou, please.” He reaches out for hands that pull away. Like trying to catch smoke. “Please don’t go where I can’t follow.”

[fullofvoices]

To Eddie: have you forgiven her? If not, do you think you ever will?

CHUCK SOME DEVELOPMENT ?s MY WAY | Accepting

       “ HER? I’m guessin’ you mean Lou? ”  He didn’t like speaking about her this way or about her departure or even how he felt about it. Truth of the matter was that he was CRUSHED, but that just was what happened with Lou Wolfe.  “ I’ve forgiven her. Course I have. She did what she felt that she needed to do and that’s just what she does. Can’t fault her for it. ”

[fullofvoices]

obscure feelings drabble - mauerbauertraurigkeit: the inexplicable urge to push people away, even close friends who you really like. ( eddie )

She’s by your side, like she’s always been, or rather, where you’ve always believed her to be. When things get tough, life grows too hard, you’re there for one another. That’s what you two do, it’s how you operate.

The funeral’s long since past, yet another time in your life where you’ve donned that morbid lack of color, hung your head, prayed for calmer waters. This is the first she’s spoken to you since and while you’re happy she’s speaking at all, you can feel it, that nagging voice in your head, hushed in the back of it, whispering.

Go away.

She takes your hand after passing you the whiskey bottle, but makes no sound, and you withdraw as you swig. The touch you normally yearn for, the welcomed heat, burns a little too much and you want nothing more than to stop it.

Go away.

The voice only grows louder the more you lose yourself in her presence and you can’t explain it. If anyone understands how you’re feeling at that moment, it’s her. If anyone understands you ever, it’s her, and yet…

Go away.

You choke out some half-assed excuse for why you’re getting to your feet and walking away, bottle empty and discarded in the brush. She offers you a ride back, concern in her features, but you wave her off, telling her the walk’s good for you. Good for clearing your head. Maybe the voice will shut up then.

Go away.

Two words you’d never say aloud for fear that she may actually disappear.

[fullofvoices]

CONNECTION TAG DROP #1