#specifically them probably making comments about how i will be dressing for a grad party

[sunshine-girl-shines]

Me: I don’t bring straight vibes to the party

Therapist: *cackles* No, you don’t

[themagiciansreccenter]

Five @ Five @thursdayeuclid

As a part of our author spotlight, we’ve asked each writer to highlight 5 fics and tell us a little about their experience writing (or reading) them.

Modified Aspect Ratio by @sabrinachill

Quentin flinches when party hats suddenly appear on all three of their heads - the pointy, cardboard kind, with elastic straps that bite into the soft underside of their chins. Crepe paper streamers float in the air and balloons drop from where a ceiling should be, drifting down to scatter across the white expanse that serves as a floor. Tiny multicolored fireworks explode into shapes like smiley-faces and stars, and a three-tiered cake coated in yellow and red icing pops into existence in a puff of flour, hovering to the monster’s right.

But the biggest decoration - and weirdest, by far - is the enormous blue neon sign with the words “Welcome to Hollywood!” strobing insistently against the white blankness.

The monster is now wearing a wizard costume, for some unknown reason, and bouncing up and down while clapping its hands and performing a horribly off-key rendition of “Party in the USA.”

“This is officially the worst party I’ve ever attended, including the one where we murdered a couple of gods,” Eliot mutters.

Quentin’s answering sigh is epic and professional-grade, containing all the exasperated resignation in the galaxy. “Why is it that everything that happens to us is always equal parts absurd and terrifying? I mean, I could accept regular old fear and tragedy, sure, whatever, everybody gets those. But it’s like the universe gets off on dicking us around.”

He wants to slump, all dramatic and defeated, but he’s still pinned in place by the monster’s powerful will, like a butterfly in a display case.

This has to be my favorite Queliot AU. It's patently ridiculous but just believable enough to really touch your heart. Which, honestly, is most of the show too. I laughed and cried reading this. It's amazing and unpredictable and goes places I would never have imagined.

to be unbroken or be brave again by @milominderbindered

After the fourth time it happens, Josh decides to go for it, and as they’re bathing in the sweaty afterglow, he asks Margo if she wants to go on a date.

Margo looks at him, up and down, and says, “No offence, Hoberman, but no.”

“Oh.”  Josh’s stomach sinks a bit.  He pulls up his pants and takes a joint out of his pocket.  “Okay, that’s chill too. Wanna smoke?”

“Oh, don’t look all sorry for yourself,” Margo says, rolling her eyes as she picks herself up from the bathroom floor and inspects her hair in the mirror.  “It’s nothing personal. You’re nice, the sex is good, whatever. But, listen. Eliot is my best friend, and he’s going through this incredibly shitty time right now.  Specifically to do with love.  It’s been a couple months since that Mike shit went down, but he’s still seriously messed up, and he’s my first priority, capiche?  I’m not gonna start dating someone and just leave him by himself half the time, or shove a bunch of lovey-dovey crap in his face.  No way. I’m not gonna date anyone until Eliot’s dating again, too.”

“Right,” says Josh, slowly, as he lights his joint and thinks about it.  “Not until he’s dating someone too. Got it.”

He thinks about the party raging downstairs, and about what he knows about Eliot.  Eliot’s had no problem hooking with guys recently, everyone knows that, but he’s not kept anyone around for more than a night.  He’s heard Margo calling it Eliot’s attachment freak-outs when he drops the guys as soon as they suggest sucking his dick more than once , which makes sense.  Except. Well, there’s that one first year, with the floppy hair and the Lord of the Rings t-shirt.  Eliot and the first year with the weird name haven’t hooked up, according to Josh’s well-informed rumour mill, but he certainly seems to be the only person other than Margo who Eliot’s remotely interested in spending time with when he’s not drunk.

There aren’t a lot of things in life Josh Hoberman has an excess of.  But he’s not hard up for money. He’s got a trust fund and a drug hustle.  And he’d spotted Eliot’s first year at the school noticeboard taking the number for a three-headed-dog walking ad, the other day.

So, just like that.  The threads tangle together.

So this is a 10 Things I Hate About You AU (which was itself a reimagining of Taming of the Shrew), and I'm living for it, just right off the bat. I love Hoberman wanting Margo so badly he goes to all this trouble. I love Quentin being morally compromised but just wanting to spend all his time with Eliot... I love it. This story deserved more attention. It made me laugh and 'aww' and have feelings, plus it's on the shorter side so you have no excuse not to read it.

we can kiss like real people do by VeryImportantDemon

“No offense,” Quentin began, squinting at the stranger, “but I don’t know you, um… Janet.”

“None taken,” the man said. “And my name’s not Janet, it’s Eliot. None of the names on these things are right, we just grab a nametag.”

“Oh,” Quentin said. He supposed that made sense. “But I still don’t know you.”

Eliot shrugged again, taking a sip of his coffee and licking his lips afterwards. Q tried to pretend like he wasn’t staring, but he and Eliot both knew that he was. “In that case, it can’t hurt to tell me, then,” he added.

“Why are you even here?” Quentin asked, stalling for time. Maybe the ridiculously attractive barista was on break and if Quentin talked long enough, that break would be up and he wouldn’t have to confess his embarrassing predicament.

“You’re sad and cute and I was bored,” Eliot said. “Now, spill.”

He was not to be deterred so Quentin didn’t have very long to dwell on the fact that he’d just been called cute. “I, um… I kind of lied to my dad,” he said.

“Ooo,” Eliot said, leaning forward. “Exciting. About what?”

“It’s not that exciting,” Quentin said. “I just… He’s worried I’m lonely and he keeps asking if I’ve met someone. I just told him I had a boyfriend once to get him to stop asking and now he wants to see a picture of us.”

“Mmhm,” Eliot said. “I think I’m following. Why didn’t you get that snack that was here earlier to take a pic with you?”

“I can’t,” Quentin said, wondering how his life had gotten to the point that he was having an impromptu therapy session with a barista. “That’s Penny. He’s my… Sort of friend? And he’s kind of an asshole.”

“Pity,” Eliot said. “This your phone?” he added, gesturing to the phone on the table.

“Yeah,” Quentin said. Before he said anything further, Eliot scooped it up, unlocked it with Quentin’s face, and then set about doing something Quentin couldn’t see. “Hey!” he protested. “That’s my phone!”

“I know,” Eliot said. He rose from his chair, crouched down beside Quentin, and flashed a mesmerizing smile. Quentin was sure he looked a little startled and confused in the selfie because he really was confused. Eliot moved fast. He tapped on Quentin’s phone for a few more seconds as he crossed the table and sat down in the chair he had previously occupied before tapping a few more times and sliding the phone back to Quentin. “There,” he said. “Problem solved.”

I am a complete sucker for fake dating, and this story has a delightful array of truly ridiculous fake dating tropes. Also, it has transgender Penny dating Margo, and as a trans man, I can only aspire to such absolute game. Well done, trans Penny. Godspeed you, good man. There's a scene where I was freaking out and very upset and the author had to reassure me in comments it would be okay, so I kept reading, and everything was lovely in the end.

The Honor of Your Presence by Page161of180

One of the first years-- Elliott (oh no, that is too confusing, even in his own internal monologue), ah, Todd doesn’t remember her name, not because he doesn’t care, but because there are two Emilies and an Emilia in the new class and he hasn’t quite sorted them out yet. Maybe he should ask them about their middle names?-- makes it halfway down the stairs, before coming to a dead stop at the sight of the PKC’s friendly neighborhood post-grad locked in a silent stare-off with a six-foot-something R-rated Disney prince in head-to-toe-- Todd’s pretty sure it’s brocade? It’s very shiny and kind of between mint and seafoam. Definitely a nice color, against pale skin and dark hair. Which Todd knows from dressing himself , not because he spends that much of his time thinking about-- Not that there’s anything wrong with--

Ha. Ha ha. What? Not the point.

Todd shakes his head frantically at Emily, Emily, or Emilia, and she gets the message, turning back up the stairs and retreating to the safety of her room. Todd wishes he could go with her. Not, like, with her , specifically; he’s more into Emily (other Emily? Or maybe she’s Emilia?), honestly. But, you know, away . Would be good. 

Neither Eliot nor Quentin seem to notice she was ever there.

Eliot has been staring at Quentin for one minute and forty-five seconds, Todd’s face going more ashen with each moment that slips away, when the former (still?) king finally says, “I’m sorry. What ?”

And if it were Todd facing down Eliot like that (not that it would be; why would he be dating Eliot? Crazy.), he would have basically just, become one with the carpet, because that only sounds like a question. It is very clearly, obviously a trap. But Quentin-- man . Quentin has always been, just, super brave. Way braver than you would probably expect from someone who’s all, sort of, pocket-sized and, um, no judgment but, not really all that good? At magic? Like, not bad-- definitely not bad! Just. Kind of normal and-- soft? If that makes sense? He just sort of always looks like he needs a hug. Which is maybe why Eliot basically always has at least one arm wrapped around him.

Not now, though. Now, Eliot has both arms down at his sides, hands dangerously still, while Quentin crosses his own over his chest and sets his jaw.

This is just one of the greatest fics I've ever read in any fandom, for any pairing, and it's hilarious and feelsy and I had to keep pausing when I was reading it just to sit with my emotions for a minute. I recommend it to absolutely anyone who likes Queliot at all.

Ask Me, I Won't Say No by @veganshailseitan

None of them linger too long in their booth after they collect the gift certificate that will almost cover their drinks for next week-

Wednesday Night Trivia Rule 2: Only Penny and Alice are allowed to handle the gift certificates because they are the only ones who won’t lose them.

-exchanging hugs and kisses on cheeks. He’s walking out of the bar while texting —a grave mistake he should have learned from by now, but he just has to let the sitter know he’s going to be late real quick— when he suddenly smacks into something solid, sending his phone clattering to the floor.

Something solid which oh, fuck happens to be a person.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” the stranger says, despite the fact that Quentin should clearly be taking the blame here. 

He’s ducking to pick up his hopefully-not-shattered phone before he can even spare a glance at the person, “You’re fine, I wasn’t paying attention to-” he loses the sentence as he stands back up, looking up to a face he’s only seen from across the room “-you?”

His brief interaction with the enemy-

”I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced. I’m Eliot. Waugh.”

“Um, yeah, I’ve seen you here before, hi. Quentin Coldwater.”

“Quentin Coldwater?” -sticks in Quentin’s mind for the next week. He’s excited for trivia. More excited than the usual eagerness for his night out of the house with grown-ups, and nervous for the first time since he could remember. Which is so dumb and shows Quentin how painfully out of practice he is at interacting with other human beings.

He and the guy —Eliot— had barely exchanged two sentences and he’s pretty sure one of them had just been Eliot making fun of his name. But then again, his type has always been the ones that pulled his pigtails on the playground —which, yeah super healthy there Quentin, way to go— except for Arielle.

And there it was: the surefire way to kill whatever ill-advised excitement he’d been holding onto for the night.

He’s early this week, for reasons he’s already overthinking, so he goes ahead and grabs their usual table. It’s his week to pick-

Wednesday Night Trivia Rule 1: The person in charge of choosing the team name will rotate on a weekly basis in alphabetical order. That week’s decider can only be overruled by a unanimous vote from the rest of the team (per the March 2018 addendum).

-so he lets the group chat know he’s there, checks them in with the Quizmaster as To Be Perfectly Queer, (because he’s at least self-aware at this point in his life) and heads to the bar, trying to focus on whether or not he wants to try the new local craft brew they were pushing this month-

And immediately runs into Eliot.

Thankfully not literally this time.

“Well, hello, Quentin.” Eliot looks as surprised to run into him as Q is, which is stupid on both their parts.

“Uh, Eliot. Hello. How are you?” just talk like a normal human, Quentin, Jesus.

Eliot smiles, sultry and so over the top that Quentin almost laughs, “Fraternizing with the enemy, are we? I’m sworn to hold our knowledge in secrecy, so don’t you dare try to seduce it out of me.”

Quentin does laugh at that, somehow put at ease by Eliot’s carefree flirtation, “I’ll try to restrain my charms. Scout’s honor.”

I actually -just- got around to reading this one and I liked it so much it made me squee out loud on a couple of occasions. It's hot, it's kidfic, it's sweet, and there's feelings and fluff and smut. Basically a ridiculous AU where Eliot and Quentin are on opposing pub trivia teams. However, that premise accounts for only a fraction of this story's considerable charms. I didn't expect to love it like I did--I did, in fact, expect to love it in a totally different way--and then it hooked me and dragged me panting and squirming through a smorgasbord of emotion. 

[ncstings]

#3 a kiss on the forehead: georgia & benjamin

she’d probably never get used to walking down those halls. they’re cold, a bit musty--- frankly they make her feel like she should either be way smarter, or have way more money. but hey, she couldn’t imagine benjamin teaching anywhere else. 

it wasn’t like most times. most time she had the intention of entering his office and having him throw everything off his desk just so he can ravish her in the way she deserves. this time was a bit different. she knew his office hours would be coming to a close soon, but she didn’t mind waiting in the hall until he was done. 

she hears chatter coming from down the hall, only to grow louder until she finally looks up to see two ladies walking together. she clicks off her phone and listens to them.

“he called me girl last week and i nearly passed out.” one of them says. it’s enough to peak georgia’s interest, listening closer. she sees out of the corner of her eyes as they start to slow down. 

“sometimes i don’t even care what he’s saying i just close my eyes and listen.” the other one says.

ah. georgia can’t help but smirk. mostly because yeah, she’s been there too. a lot. she figured she’d be over it by now but sometimes it hits her. sometimes they’ll be laying on the couch or at the dinner table or in the kitchen and he’ll say something and it knocks her out. fully renders her speechless for a few seconds. there’s of course the times she can’t even understand him but even then she still finds it attractive.

“you ever hear him swear?” georgia finds herself speak up. the girls are lingering not far from her, they since stopped walking and seem to be loitering, or waiting for something. she figured, why not. “heard him say ‘fuck’ the other day and i’m pretty sure i lost it.”

the girls look at her, eyes gaping. there were a few moments of silence and she’s not sure if she broke them by them imagining what that might sound like, or they were just weirded out some stranger started talking to them.

one of the girls finally looks away, clicking her tongue. “i knew he was different with the grad students. tyler told me he heard he’s way more chill.”

grad student? georgia looks down at herself. she’s dressed in her pencil skirt, blouse, and long dusty pink coat. her hair’s still a bit wavy from curling it yesterday but she put it in a pony. did she look like a woman of science? god she didn’t think so. to be imagined in a room full of nerds talking about potions or whatever it was he taught.

“yeah,” she nods though. why not roll with it. “still not any easier though.” she shrugs. 

one of the girls sigh, slumping down into one of the chairs. “sucks he’s married.”

uhm. 

georgia inhales a speck of spits and breaks into a fit of coughs, putting a hand over her chest. that definitely wasn’t what she heard. “i’m sorry, what?”

the girl who’s still standing gives her a sympathetic look. “last semester someone saw him wearing a wedding band for a bit.” she fishes out her phone, pulling up a picture to show her. “it was just for a short time but we figured since he’s such an unorthodox guy he just doesn’t wear it sometimes.” she shrugs. “there was also the time he brought up his wife in class.”

georgia looks at the photo. kids were sneaky little shits. sure enough, there was benjamin in front of the whiteboard, sweater on his chest, stubble on his jaw--- looking handsome as per usual, but with a wedding band on his outstretched hand. gold, glimmering in the florescent light.

“well what did he say about this elusive wife?” she leans back from the phone. this answer would be super important.

“clarie, you were there that day, what did he say?” the girl turns to the one in the seat, waiting for a response.

“oh uh, he was talking about some molecular chemical reaction and then he was like ‘my wife told me i sound boring when i bring up this up so i made a fun power point’ and then he showed that presentation where he danced.” she rolls her eyes in a huff. “what i wouldn’t give to be that man’s wife.”

well how about that. first off, nice to know she’s the wife in this situation and not some secret woman. second off, a dance? she would certainly have to inquire about it more. “yeah me too.” she chuckles, though sounds like she might already be halfway there.

“are you here for a meeting with him?” the girl in the chair asks.

“yeah, something like that.” she presses her lips together, hoping the questions don’t get too specific.

the door opens, and a young man walks out, thanking benjamin before he’s soon following behind him, standing in the doorway to the hall. he looks at the sight of the girls first, right in front of him, then turns his head and looks down at her, a bit shocked. “hey,” but there’s a smile on his lips, “i didn’t know you were coming.”

“i wanted to surprise you.” she smiles back. from the corner of her eyes, she sees the two girls glued to the situation in front of them. “i wanted to do something nice.”

his eyebrows raise, looking to the girls for a moment before leaning in a bit, twisting his torso to try and cut them off a bit. “the typical nice or---... something different.”

“different.” she nods, reaching up to put her hand on his chest. “but you should help these girls out first.”

it takes a moment for him to look away from her. maybe not the typical look of undressing her with his eyes but the kind of look when he hasn’t seen her in a while and he’s drinking up every ounce of her. like he forgot. or like his memories didn’t do her justice. or maybe just looking at her overwhelmed him.

“ladies.” he straights his back. “office hours end in just a few minutes i hope you can make it quick.”

“claire has a question about the assignment. we were coming out of another class and figured to just drop by on our way back home.” the one still standing speaks up, and the girl named claire raises from her chair, giving an awkward smile. they’re both looking uncomfortable, to different degrees from the sight they just saw.

“benjie, can you please save these girls and yourself the future trouble and introduce me.” georgia sighs, standing up from her seat.

he clears his throat, entering the hall fully. “is it really that important.” he says quietly, looking down at her.

“they think you’re married, asshole, and they think i’m your grad student.” she glares.

“well now that’s a lie you could have solved yourself.”

“you called me your wife.” she states hastily.

that gets him to shut up. also gets a blush to creep over his face and she knows she caught him red handed. so he clears his throat, and addresses the girls again. “ladies, this is my girlfriend georgia.” his tone was a bit exhausted. “she is not my student she is a very talented wedding planner. i am not married i simply wear the ring sometimes and make those comments when i am uncomfortable.” it was recited like a speech, and he sounded tired by the whole ordeal.

“what do you mean when you’re uncomfortable?” claire speaks up, but they’re still looking at georgia.

“she’s so young.” the other squints.

“i am old at heart.” georgia puts her hand on her chest.

“no you’re not.” benjamin rolls his eyes, and she smirks at him, smacking his hip. he looks back at claire. “sometimes students can be a bit... overzealous towards me. usually they back off if i wear the ring or drop a hint.”

georgia frowns. she knows he’s attractive, but the idea that he’s ever be uncomfortable in his own class space with girls who are a bit too forward, hurts her. she knows the girls in front of her aren’t those types. they are the type to gossip and fantasize, but georgia was like that in college too so who is she to judge?

“oh.” one of them says. 

benjamin reaches up to rub his jaw. “what’s your question claire?”

claire instantly reaches into her shoulder bag to pull out one of her textbooks, and she approaches him to ask her question. georgia’s tuned it out at this point since she’s got no clue what they could be talking about, but she approaches the other. “were you expecting some old hag as his wife?” georgia smiles

“well shit i was hoping.” she smiles back. “thought it’s not a huge surprise. though i would have figured he’d gone with another stem gal.”

georgia hums and nods. “mmm, i think he probably likes having a person with a job he knows nothing about.” she shrugs. “and i know nothing about his.” she pauses for a moment. “hey, do you have a video of that presentation? he was dancing or something?”

“ah,” she nods, getting her phone out again. she makes a few taps and holds it out. sure enough. the video plays. the lights are off and even though there’s light through the windows, it’s pretty dark. there’s club music playing and the screen flashes with some party lights as benjamin starts to dance and jump around, also explaining some sort of reaction she’d never understand. there’s some laughter in the class, most people have their phones up. he doesn't stop. it goes on for longer than she’d ever thought and she’s shocked he can talk and move around like that without sounded completely unintelligible. she can hear herself snickering, and when it ends, she hads the phone back. “well did it work? did you learn it?”

“yeah i guess.” she shrugs. 

“hey.” benjamin taps her forearm. he now, got his coat over his arm and bag over his shoulder. “you ready?”

“you done?”

“it really was a quick question.” he smiles, looking back to the girls. “ladies, i hope you have a lovely evening. please don’t try and let this newfound information run too rampant but i understand i can’t control you.” he smirks. 

georgia waves, her other hand soon taken in his. when they’re a bit away, she turns to look at him. “you just keep a wedding band laying around?”

he shrugs. “it really does get weird sometimes.” 

she pouts, leaning over to kiss behind his ear. “i’ll fight off all the thirsty girls for you.” she brushes back some of his hair.

“that’s very reassuring. don’t think that’s really appropriate though.”

“well, as long as you know it, that’s what’s important.” she shrugs. “saw that video of you dancing.” she says as he pushes the door open for them, leading them to the crisp spring air.

“did you now?” he raises his eyebrow. 

“you don’t have that kind of energy for me.”

“oh i definitely do.” he nods, giving her a tight look. “but you wouldn’t give a shit about molecular redox reactions so i just channel that energy into fucking you.” he shrugs, fishing for his keys. “my car?”

she snorts. “fair point.” she looks around the parking lot. “we’re actually not going far we could just walk.”

“oh?” he says, intrigued. “what do you have played for us this evening, love?”

she grins, nudging him onto the patch of grass until he’s against a tree. “you know you’re still not off the hook for calling me your wife.” she brushes their noses together.

“you want to make me regret it?”

“you gonna keep calling me your wife when people flirt with you?”

“you want that?”

“i don’t mind being called your wife.” she looks over him, her grin fading just the smallest bit. “i know that’s not where we’re at but i don’t mind the sound of it.” she reaches up, her nail tracing his jaw. “and i hate thinking about anyone making you uncomfortable and i want you to know that even if i’m not there physically, i don’t mind you using me to keep yourself safe.” her other hand presses to his chest. “i know i’m batshit but i’ll never be offended or hurt if it’s to keep yourself out a situation you don’t want to be in.”

he looks down at her, finger tucking a fallen strand of hair behind her ear. leaning forward, he presses his lips to her forehead. “you’re my kind of batshit, though.”

she hums. “don’t think you’re not crazy either.” she points a finger to his chest. “that girl said she thought you’d be married to some old science hag and i was being to polite to say you’re much too off your rocker to handle a woman so well put together.”

he laughs, tilting his head back. his eyes crinkle at the corners and she’s sure her heart bursts while she watches. making him laugh like that always put her on some other level. making him laugh felt more powerful than making him hard. 

“you know i think you’re right.” he kisses her forehead again and nudges her off to continue on their walk. “now take me to this mystery place.”

“yes.” she nods, taking hold of his hand again. “away we go.”