#specifically the inland empire though!!

[insanityclause]

Seemingly set somewhere between heaven, Ibiza and a novelty Instagram backdrop, Jamie Lloyd’s remarkable production of Shakespeare’s Much Ado About Nothing eschews a conventional set in favour of a drift of candy-pink confetti that blankets the gargantuan Drury Lane stage. Designed by Soutra Gilmour, there is never not confetti falling, wafting through the air like man-made cherry blossom. At moments of high excitement (of which there are many) it erupts from the rafters. The first half ends with co-star Hayley Atwell’s lovestruck Beatrice squealing orgasmically - the full Donna Summer - with her back to us, caught up in a snowdrift of confetti, a gigantic pink heart hovering over her.

There are those who have become cynical about Lloyd ever since his career went into overdrive with his smash 2023 revival of Sunset Boulevard. And to be fair, those that moaned about the casting of Sigourney Weaver in The Tempest – which preceded Much Ado at Drury Lane, and shares much of the same cast – were basically right, though one celebrity miscasting hardly ruins a career. But accusations that he relies too much on live video (he’s used it in two shows), the same monochrome palette (okay, there has been a lot of black) and relentless tasteful moodiness are all but trolled by this none-more-pink symphony of a production, that totally abandons conventional cool in favour of Tom Hiddleston’s dad dancing.

This impressionistic Much Ado doesn’t take place in a specific space or time, but its vibe is that of an endless, hedonistic holiday, its wild romantic currents mirroring the internal melodrama of a week away with a group of friends.

Seasoned Shakespearean Hiddleston is clearly having the time of his life here as a man-child Benedick, who smarmily addresses the audience directly, often milking them frantically for applause. It’s a nod to Hiddleston’s own celebrity, but it's as if he'd ended up at an end-of-the-pier variety club rather than doing Marvel films. 

Key to casting him and Atwell is that yes, they are very beautiful screen heartthrobs. But they’re also fortysomethings. Her bolshy, passionate Beatrice is too addicted to being the strident queen bee of her circle of friends to let anyone into her life; he’s the applause-hungry oddball. But they’re both eccentric figures - middle-aged singles who look terminally uncool next to Mara Huf’s fantastically full-on Hero and James Phoon’s giddy, silver-suited Claudio. 

Things get goofy. At one point Hiddleston jumps through a trapdoor like he's a kids’ cartoon character. A hallucinatory and hysterical central sequence sees the entire cast don ludicrous animal heads (designed by Gilmour again) that are more Masked Singer than Inland Empire - heartthrob Tom Hiddleston spends a decent chunk of the show as a big-tongued, sad-eyed dog. There is a scene where cut outs of Loki and Captain Carter – IYKYN – are deployed, to joshingly meta effect. 

There will undoubtedly be people who hate all this and complain at how far we’ve got from trad Shakespeare. Certainly Dogberry fans should be warned now: Lloyd has totally cut your favourite bungling constable character. Still, even the most ardent traditionalist would concede that the line speaking is beautifully lucid throughout. 

And truly - it is very funny, it looks incredible, and if Lloyd has festooned it in millennial silliness then I guess what’s actually more significant is the way he, Hiddleston and Atwell have teased the Beatrice-Benedick romance into a poignant story about middle aged loneliness and being left behind as your friends settle. 

Indeed, in a hipster way it’s a very middle aged show generally, with a nostalgic ‘90s dance soundtrack, allusions to the glory days of Ibiza club culture, karaoke, dad jokes, dad dancing, etcetera. In a way, Hiddleston’s performance is daring simply for how aggressively uncool it is, how much he owns being a middle-aged dad here. Might this be off-putting to younger audiences? I don’t know! But speaking as somebody whose birthday falls more or less slap bang in between Atwell and Hiddleston’s, I absolutely felt this production in my bones – an immaculate and hilarious synthesis of naffness and cool.

[disco-elysium-via-polls]

Attempting to get to where we were, I got an incredibly unlikely success on the Rhetoric check. I think this scene is also really good so consider this a little bonus.

RHETORIC [Heroic: Success] - The question you mean to ask is both very complicated and incredibly simple...

"If the whole theory we're meant to believe is completely unfalsifiable..."

"If we can't even agree whether communism is about plasm or psychology or beans..."

"If we can't escape the doom that's coming..."

STEBAN, THE STUDENT COMMUNIST - The young man waits patiently for you to finish.

"... and the rest of world conspires to invade and massacre us when we dare to stand up for our beliefs..."

"... and whenever we *do* try it just devolves into a corrupt farce..."

"... and we waste all our time arguing over who's secretly a liberal or not..."

STEBAN, THE STUDENT COMMUNIST - "Yes?"

VOLITION [Easy: Success] - Say it.

"..what's the point?"

STEBAN, THE STUDENT COMMUNIST - The young man considers your words for a minute.

COMPOSURE [Medium: Success] - You're witnessing his ironic armour melt before you. This is his *true self* you're seeing now.

EMPATHY [Formidable: Failure] - There's something going on in there, but his innermost sanctum is still beyond your reach...

STEBAN, THE STUDENT COMMUNIST - "The theorists Puncher and Wattmann -- not infra-materialists, but theorists nonetheless -- say that communism is a secular version of Perikarnassian theology, that it replaces faith in the divine with faith in humanity's future..."

"I have to say, I've never *entirely* understood what they mean, but I think maybe the answer is in there, somewhere."

"Wait, you're saying communism is some kind of religion?"

"But what if you don't believe there *is* a future?"

"But what if humanity keeps letting us down?"

STEBAN, THE STUDENT COMMUNIST - "Only in this very specific sense. Communism doesn't dangle any promises of eternal bliss or reward. The only promise it offers is that the future can be better than the past, if we're willing to work and fight and die for it."

2. "But what if humanity keeps letting us down?"

STEBAN, THE STUDENT COMMUNIST - "Nobody said fulfilling the proletariat's historic role would be easy." A tight smile. "It demands great faith with no promise of tangible reward. But that doesn't mean we can simply give up."

"Even when they ignore us?"

"Even when they laugh at us?"

"Even when they shoot at us?"

STEBAN, THE STUDENT COMMUNIST - "Especially then."

ECHO MAKER - "And of course, we'll be shooting right back."

VOLITION [Easy: Success] - So young. So *unbearably* young...

HALF LIGHT [Medium: Success] - Why do you see the two of them with their backs against a bullet-pocked wall, all of a sudden?

INLAND EMPIRE [Easy: Success] - Their faces, blurred yet frozen as though in ambrotype. You were never *that young*, were you?

STEBAN, THE STUDENT COMMUNIST - "I guess you could say we believe it *because it's impossible*." He looks at the scattered matchboxes on the ground. "It's our way of saying we refuse to accept that the world has to remain... like this..."

"Broken."

"Unfinished."

Say nothing.

STEBAN, THE STUDENT COMMUNIST - "Yes, that's a good way to think of it, broken, but not irreparable."

"It's a nice thought."

"I don't know if I believe it, though."

STEBAN, THE STUDENT COMMUNIST - "You've got to believe in *something*. Otherwise, what are you doing?"

EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - His words aren't really directed at you. He's wrestling with himself now...

ECHO MAKER - "Steban, it's getting pretty late."

Ok, that's the end of that diatribe. Rejoin me for the canonical version of events shortly.

[tenderlady]

Hi there! A while ago, you said in your tags to this post that you believe David Lynch would be one of the best suited directors for making a movie about the Beatles. What can I say, I've been thinking about this ever since, vaguely-yet-passionately agreeing, without putting my thoughts into actual sentences...Would you mind elaborating?

You ever get an ask so good you have to break out your laptop to type up your thoughts with greater alacrity?

My friends and I have this concept that we call "trapdoors," which are basically concepts or things that, if brought up in conversation, will cause whoever is talking to you to tumble into an abyss of information that you are duty-bound to provide. Beatles biopics happen to be one of mine, so if you would like to join me in the abyss, the trapdoor is under the cut.

I actually have a few working directors that I think would do a great job with a Beatles movie, including Sofia Coppola, Peter Greenaway, Park Chan-wook, and even, potentially, Martin Scorsese. But the more I think about it, the more convinced I am that the best-suited director working today for making a Beatles movie is actually David Lynch.

I think a lot of this ultimately comes down to what you want from a Beatles biopic, and what you haven't liked about Beatles movies in the past. For me, I'm tired of Beatles-biopic-as-hagiography and I want more stories that approach them as fully-rounded people. And one thing that is very specific to me personally is that I'm interested in the moments when the Beatles story has occasionally tilted toward the magical and mysterious, for lack of better phrasing. So an ideal Beatles biopic, for me, would be one that is dedicated to showing the Beatles themselves as holistic human beings and doesn't shy away from showcasing their bad behavior, but also one that is concerned with portraying those magical realist elements that I find so fascinating.

Enter David Lynch. Lynch has a well-documented fascination with the pop culture of the mid-20th century and an interestingly sumptuous eye toward production design (I'm thinking about the ambiguously midcentury setting of Blue Velvet in particular here), so I think at the bare minimum, if he were to make a Beatles movie, it would look right. But I'm more interested in Lynch's directorial choices and pet themes than I am in how his films look.

Much of his work is concerned with fame, be it the attainment of it or what it means to have it (ex: Mulholland Drive, Inland Empire), and also with the production of art and what it does to our psyches to create (ditto the above examples). These themes would obviously come to bear in any serious film about the Beatles, but I think David Lynch has historically had interesting things to say about these topics.

Lynch's films (and work in general) often veer into horror in their sudden depictions of graphic violence and sexuality, but that would actually be a more realistic depiction of the Beatles' history than most of what we've gotten. I think a gritty, Wild at Heart-style Lynch movie about Hamburg could be very fun. The leather and the 50s and the weird sex stuff of all of it is very Lynch, but all very true to the reality of what the Beatles' lives were like. Their story is full of these seemingly random spurts of violence (Stu getting kicked in the head, the Bob Wooler incident, the cherry bomb at the concert, John's murder, George's stabbing, just to name a few), to the point where reading about them can feel occasionally Lynchian in itself.

For me, though, the biggest draw of having a Lynch-directed Beatles movie is what Lynch is best known for, which is that dream-(or nightmare) feeling that so much of his work has. Something that drew me to the Beatles as an overeducated adult with lots of music listening behind me now is this strange sense of the mystical that hangs over so much of the Beatles narrative. The story of Paul's premonition of the dream with the gold coins, the John and Paul being mirror images of each other, people in the Beatles circle being visited by dead loved ones in their dreams, John and Paul claiming to have SHARED dreams, the whole Emperor of Eternity thing; like I could go on and on and on. These stories are all so fascinating, but often get underexplored in the (legitimately) very rich text of the Beatles story, so I get it, but I also know that Lynch would see these moments and do something really fucking cool with them.

Primarily, I see a Lynch-directed Beatles biopic going one of three ways: a Blue Velvet-style gothic set during the Beatlemania years about a naive black-Irish twink biting off more than he can chew in the pursuit of fame. David Lynch loves doubles and doppelganger imagery (Mulholland Drive, Twin Peaks, Inland Empire....), so I think he would get a lot of mileage out of the matching Beatle suits and haircuts and all the merch with their likenesses on it. I also want to see some real horror mined out of the hiding in meat vans and getting mauled by girls with scissors trying to cut off your hair for relics. Shit is crazy.

Option two would be a Mulholland Drive-style psychological horror set during the height of the Beatles' Swinging London decadence, like around 1967, potentially including India. It would definitely 100% include the Emperor of Eternity acid trip and would be primarily focused on the strange relationship and identity sublimation between John and Paul. Again, Mulholland Drive-style. Gayest potential option imo.

The last option, and the one that makes the most sense with where Lynch is in his career rn, is a Twin Peaks: The Return-style meditation on nostalgia and memory and time. I think this one would probably be getting a little too close to the present day to be feasible, but I think a lot could be done with the idea of current-day Granddude Paul constantly seeing reproductions of his own younger self and dead friends and lovers everywhere he goes. As much as I love Now & Then, the whole thing does how a weird techno-gothic, Black Mirror sheen to it, one that I think Lynch would recognize and have something to say about. Would this make Paul Coop and John Laura Palmer? Hard to say and much to unpack there, but still.

Regardless: I think David Lynch is the only one out there doing it in a weird, fucked-up way that the Beatles would deserve. (Also he literally got into transcendental meditation because of the Maharishi, so there's definitely some six-degrees-of-Beatles happening there lmao)

If you read all of this, thank you, and I'm sorry, and here is a picture of Kyle MacLachlan as Paul from the David Lynch Beatles biopic that is currently screening in my heart for your trouble

[volivolition]

hey, so your drama skilltober drawing (which is amazing btw!!) got me wondering, do you headcanon that the skills are like, aware of how many levels they have? like obviously endurance and volition have those health pool meters but theyre kinda special cases lol

but do you think the others are consciously aware of their levels or do they just kinda vaguely know its easier/harder to do their job when harry is wearing this or that clothing, has this or that thought internalized, etc

HI OMG THANK YOU!! yes they do! not aware of the whole game aspect (except Tutorial Agent who is Very Aware of All Of It), but the skills are often aware of meta things in my fics and headcanons, where they acknowledge things like skill points, tasks, giving harry choices, check difficulties/successes/failures, and a few other mechanics (usually when it'd be funny tbh hgdhjf, i find a lot of humor in leaning into the fourth wall <33)

for clothes specifically, i have a whole bit in Meet the Parts where they suit up in Shivers bonuses so they can go talk to her hjkgjgs

SAVOIR FAIRE – Best to dress for the occasion!  INLAND EMPIRE – Her voice can be elusive otherwise, lost in the bluster and breeze. VOLITION – Which ones are her favorites again? I know your big white coat is one. She gave that to you. ESPRIT DE CORPS – The RCM patrol cloak. It’s one that she and I share. A keen knowledge of the city while searching the streets in her name, to protect her people. All of your half-siblings serve her well, wearing this. She guards us as you guard her. SUGGESTION – The scarf with the spring perfume! PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT – Ugh, I hate that thing. You want to talk to the big lady while sneezing all over her? I don’t get what she likes so much about it. Though, her tastes aren't all bad. She likes the Hjelmdall shirt too. AUTHORITY – I thought you said they *aren’t* all bad. The shirt is terrible. You’re an officer of the law, not some T-shirt wearing hooligan. Zip up the coat if you're wearing it, that's an order. INTERFACING - Alright, that's +3, which totals 7 for the city.

^ as a note: Polar Anorak gives +1 Composure (<- he says something after Esprit's line actually, i cut it for space) and +1 Shivers, RCM Patrol Cloak is +1 Esprit and +1 Shivers, Scented Scarf gives you +1 Shivers, but -2 Phys Instrument (due to allergies lmao), Hjelmdall T-Shirt gives +1 to both Phys Instrument and Shivers, but -2 to Authority hkgj (since you can't wear both jackets, it's only a +3)

all this to say, yes, they know their levels!! :D actually, in my headcanons, Conceptualization created the skill chart specifically so they could all keep track of skill points!! it's a tangible thing in their headspace, built right into the control board (if you look closely, you can see it under volition's right hand here actually!!) :] all the skill portraits? that's Concept's art style babey!! xe painted all of them, Logic sorted them, and Interfacing set it up to work! gotta love some skill teamwork <333

[ravelqueen]

Hello! I'm the anon who sent the last Dom!Kim ask (about the Pale) I'm glad you like it!!! I have, like, SO many thoughts on Dom!Kim (especially specifically your Dom Kim!)

So, I hope you don't mind if I share some!

I'm actually curious about who this au of Kim would defer, besides just mentally, from canon Kim. Like in canon Kim doesn't make that many decisions himself, and pushes you/Harry to do the talking/make the decision. Even when Harry makes a bad decision, Kim doesn't step in, and really only give his insights if you ask him about it.

I'm reminded of the scene where you can choose to go into the apartment that Mr Evrart gives you, and Kim lists both the pros and cons of doing either, before stating that it's ultimately your (Harry's) decision.

This actually led me to get a sub read on Kim (I didn't get the authority check because I thought asking Kim to give me a secret would be too personal/mean). Like, I kinda envisioned Kim as someone who needed/wanted someone to lead him and make the decisions (because Dom used to do that for him, and he feels so lost without him?).

But! That's not to say I don't vibe with your Dom!Kim headcanon/au, like, I can have multiple/contradictory thoughts about a character. I just wanted to share my thoughts on how I see Kim as someone who doesn't really make decisions.

Which could be taken in a sub way, or, following your au, maybe Kim is so hyper critical of how he acts in a controlling matter that he's trying to course correct. So he keeps saying that it's ultimately Harry's decision, and letting him take the led, as a way to combat his controlling Dom thoughts.

Also, I do wonder how a play through would go down if Harry was able to pick up Kim having this internal thoughts (probably through an Empathy, Inland Empire, Esprit De Corps build), and being like "actually, I would like Kim to make all my decisions for me" (Harry would probably need to have pretty low Authority and Physical Instrument, lol)

And because he's, well, Harry, he would absolutely be like "hey Kim, you know how you want to control my actions, why don't we do that? I'm kind of a mess here, and could use the help".

Though I still bet Kim would be like Absolutely Not, purely because out of principle (even though he really wants to), and because he doesn't actually know how much Harry is aware of BDSM, the life style, or if he's just asking because he's so much of a wreck and that he trusts Kim. Though I do think it's funny if the skills try to like, help you convince Kim you can be a good sub by telling Harry if Kim is displeased by a choice (like Visual Calculus, Empathy, and maybe Conceptualization and Inland Empire could help).

Though I do wonder how this version of Kim (with a Harry who seems to make it one of his goals to get Kim to Dom him/accept him as a sub) would react to Jean.

Like, Kim in the original game didn't seem to have much of an opinion on Jean. Maybe some respect for being a fellow cop, maybe some hostility for not being there during the shot out. But in this au/verison of this au, maybe Kim gets a little pissed off at Jean for scolding Harry at the end of the game?

Because at this point, maybe Kim has begun to dom Harry a little bit (justifying to himself that he's only doing it to further move along the case), and having someone else scold Harry gets his dom brain going because only *he* is allowed to scold Harry. He's the one whose supposed to publish Harry if he messes up, who does Jean think he is? Abandoning Harry and then coming back to scold him? That's not how this works!

Anyway, I also have a drabble idea after Kim and Harry find Harry's crashed Kineema, and Harry feeling guilty about it, and asking for a punishment from Kim, and this being the moment Kim steps more into the dom role. But! This ask is already getting WAY too long! So I'll just stop now, lol. Anyway, I would love to hear more of your thoughts!

(For anyone joining us/organizational purposes: OG Dom!Kim post and the first ask)

My dear lovely anon: I adore talking about ideas that's why i throw them into the world in the faint hope I get to talk about the more so you really made my day here! <3

(also never apologize for multiple headcanons/interpretations I think that's honestly the beauty of fandom that all characters exist in this sort of schrödinger's cat/multiverse sphere where as long as it's consistent with characterization it's valid)

And yes! In my mind the constant checking in and deferrals are basically two-fold: One Kim has a very dear love of Order and Structure and Rules Governing Interaction, especially in a professional setting - in this case Harry, no matter what, is the lead on this case and therefore gets to make the decision.

Second in this sort of AU version of him where he struggles with his urges, he'd be extra conscientious about not infringing on someone's agency in a way he's not been invited to. That's what the Structure is for: an outside hierarchy imposed on him, so he's not feeling resentful of someone aside from him exercising authority.

And normally that's not a problem for him, but Harry, because of his absolute level of fuck-up (and being pretty much his type overall) is crossing all his wires and fucking up his Very Carefully Created Systems, so he's like EXTRA deliberate in letting Harry call the shots in a way he probably wouldn't normally, course-correct as you say

Therefore he would probably absolute fucking FREAK OUT if Harry would be like "the city told me, you'd like to make decisions for me", because he'd be like FUCK I'VE TRIED SO HARD TO NOT BE OBVIOUS WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME and like double-down on fully suppressing any indication of his thoughts (making them perversely worse probably).

Not necessarily because of a SSC reason/Harry's amnesia and therefore unclear relationship to the scene (bc fucked up version of Kim here, he'd probably get a weird thrill out of being able to be the only one to show him/teach him about this) and more because the loss of control implied by being able to be read so easily by someone who - let's be clear here - is dealing with a lot of stuff and therefore should not be able to pick up Kim's internal struggle.

Jeaaaann oh Jean yes what an interesting thought.

Ok so Jean and Kim even in game have an interesting dynamic imo even though it is so heavily impacted by player choice, because no matter what you've done if Kim is there he defends Harry.

But he defends Harry in this really interesting way, because (at least in Good Cop runs) it's almost a conversation at cross-purpose, because they clearly aren't even talking about the same person.

That conversation to me reads weirdly aimless and strange, because Jean is talking to Kim about Harry the way he's clearly used to talking about him to people that also know him well - as commiseration.

Very "have a load of this guy" and "the things we have to deal with". Not getting into whether that's fair or not (I already know fandom is very divided on that point lol), it is very clear that this is almost rote to him and what is also rote is the way the other side responds: with equal levels of annoyance and pain and trash-talking.

Kim breaks this script.

To Jean, Kim is also someone who spent an extended amount of time with Harry so he expects the other side of his rote conversation to happen the way it always does, but Kim - someone he clearly respects both as an officer as well as his intellect and character - keeps refusing to engage, simply because he doesn't seem to have met the same Harry and that fully throws him for a loop.

In that entire conversation he keeps backtracking, apologizing, amending his aggressiveness at the slightest push-back from Kim.

So I think (to finally come back to your question sorry) that yes Kim absolutely would be annoyed - (idt that during the course of the actual investigation he'd ever let himself indulge in much, but he's certainly started smaller behaviour when it doesn't seem to concern the case - make Harry sleep, eat, dress warmly etc., so there is that kind of possessiveness about him for sure.) even angry at Jean for just coming in and sort of staking a claim on which behaviours Harry should even be scolded for.

But i don't think he'd lash out or anything, because really this is about control - both of the situation and of Harry's responses. And just by responding naturally - by pointing out how well Harry had solved the comprehensive, complicated mystery, how he had taken care of himself, how he'd comported himself quite well, how he'd been kind and capable - he's not just taking control of the conversation, keeping Jean always on the back-foot, deprived of his trusty protocol, but also control of Harry.

Because when at first his attention was fixed on this person who he only somewhat remembers and his (justified?) anger, simply by saying the truth, Kim manages to get him to focus on him, to accept his version of reality, of himself and his character - despite the fact that realistically, Jean's version of himself is probably more correct (simply by virtue of him actually knowing him).

Harry wants to believe that this person Kim is talking about is who he really is and to have someone who he respects say these things he desperately wants to be true, they start to become reality.

And isn't that the ultimate rush for Kim, a dopamine push the likes he's never experienced - to not just have someone accept his rules and judgement and decisions, but to have them accept his reality over their own.

[transmutationisms]

saw that you finished twin peaks! do you have any thoughts you'd like to share? also, if you haven't already, i high reccomend watching fire walk with me!

ya i saw fwwm after season 2 and before 'the return'. honestly i think my twin peaks opinions are fairly unpopular bc i simply cannot read the series in any way besides as being deeply conservative lol. this becomes especially clear to me in 'the return', which is largely motivated by a narrative of the loss of american innocence (the double r subplot, the numerous instances of drugs and violence tearing nuclear families apart, the encroachment of electricity and processed snack foods and gambling, &c). but this viewpoint is seeded too throughout the first season-and-change of the original series, and fwwm; because what was laura palmer if not the series's first use of rape as metonymous for what lynch sees as a broader process of social breakdown and irreversible change? i understand that some people try to read bob and laura as a critique of the family, in the sense that the violence comes through the father, but i don't think this reading holds even in the original series and it certainly doesn't after part 8 of 'the return', in which bob is explicitly and directly invoked in reference to the bombing of hiroshima and nagasaki, here construed as an originary act of american evil.

i think in david lynch's mind, the spiritual forces and influences in the show are literal and apolitical, and frequently he seems to mean to depict them more as sources of artistic inspiration than anything else ('twin peaks' is in many ways a tv show about making a tv show, hence the double use of electricity throughout 'the return' and fwwm, in particular). but i find this really irritating frankly, because it's at best ignorant of the inherently political nature of the constructions of small-town americana, teenage innocence, violence as an act of moral corruption, and so forth—and also because, after the return, it's simply impossible to deny that the show's overarching narrative IS plugged in to political and historical lines of critique. like, i am not trying to 'force' a reading that deals with us imperialism—lynch put the show on this discursive terrain explicitly and deliberately, through not just the bomb footage and the penderecki threnody but also the inversion of classic symbols of american 'greatness' (the unlucky penny, the evil lincoln impersonator), culminating again in the violation of a young girl's body by the forces of evil. what this all adds up to is the invocation of american empire as a kind of universal moral struggle, stripped of its historical specificity or even the barest pretense of material critique or commentary. if it sounds like i'm asking too much of network television... i mean, maybe i am, but again, these were deliberate choices lynch made and specific historical events he invoked on purpose, lol. see also the jacoby trump commentary in 'the return' (cringe and yawn).

i'm not a lynch scholar but i do think there's a tension throughout his work (what i've seen) between the desire to make art about what he sees as the purely spiritual process of making art (heavily informed by his own TM beliefs), and the conservative elements that creep in anyway, noticeable especially in his commentary on american history, corruption, modernity, &c. the idea of any pure, transcendent, apolitical spiritual dimension of human existence is itself, i would argue, at best a misguided conservative fantasy, and 'twin peaks' ultimately shows these cracks more blatantly than some of his other work (say, 'inland empire') because it tries to subordinate the material to the spiritual in a kind of fantastical historical parable. but, you can see this recurring tension throughout his filmography, eg, the loss of small-town innocence ('blue velvet') and a kind of generalised modernity anxiety ('eraserhead', though taken on its own this one would permit other readings depending on how you interpreted the role of german expressionism in it).

i don't think lynch is an ideologue or even considers himself particularly political, but nevertheless his narratives do idealise a certain conservative vision of post-war america, mourn its loss, and wax nostalgic for its perceived ethos (& it's not a coincidence lynch is/has been a reaganite, lol). anyway, i thought 'twin peaks' had some really incredible moments of visual artistry (part 8 of 'the return', for example!) and i found much of it frankly beautiful and compelling to watch. so, i don't mean any of this to dismiss lynch as a filmmaker—he is, if nothing else, highly technically adept. unfortunately i did just really hate most of what the series was actually saying, lmao.

[themolldollincident]

Queer tormented by ocd plays disco elysium absolutely zooted on edibles, a tragically short story in only seven snapchats

Not my typical content but i had to post it.

I LOVE video games but my OCD makes them very distressing to play sometimes. My playthrough HAS to be perfect or i get extremely distressed - not like i have to do a good job and win, but more like every single playthrough has to be a beautiful work of art from beginning to end, no decisions or time wasted on things that dont serve the STORY and the CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT, and CERTAINLY no sidequests left uninvestigated and no bonus content left undiscovered. This has gotten harder in recent years as video games have become more complex and more beautiful, so oftentimes you CANT uncover every single thing AND play a consistent character, because huge swaths of content are often locked behind certain decisions that you CANT MAKE if you're committing to a specific character arc or story. So anyway a while ago I played through Disco Elysium. I LOVED IT. It was FANTASTIC. It was difficult to get through at times because of the ocd but it was so so worth it and helped me practice not engaging in compulsions.

HOWEVER.

I recently decided to play it through AGAIN while absolutely fucking ZOOTED on some edibles i've discovered that make it to where i basically dont fucking have my extremely severe case of ocd for just a few hours. (They are heavenly and i love them). I thought it would be really fun to play the whole game again, but this time i ONLY open up this save when im zooted, and i ONLY have fun, with NO pressure to make the playthrough any kind of art. JUST have FUN playing a VIDEO GAME for the first time in my life. I decided i would ONLY pick the dialogue options i found the most amusing, without doing my typical 20 minutes of overthinking for each dialogue box. I was going goofy mode and i was so excited. It didnt exactly go the way i thought it would though LMAO

This is the result of that tragically short but hilarious playthrough that had me SCREAMING in my living room, told in 7 snapchats

1. Opening the game and noticing something i somehow never noticed during the whole first playthrough around 5:35 pm

2. Creating a character build, 5:38 pm

3. Deciding to have a 1 in all stats except psyche and pour all points into psyche so that i can be psychic cop, failing to realize (because edibles) that there is a low attribute cap at the beginning, so i just accidentally chose to hamstring my attributes and just NOT USE my three points to build my character, 5:40 pm

4. Choosing ONLY Inland Empire for my skill increase, once again failing to realize that i wasnt maxxing out inland empire, i was just failing to use two skill points. Also i was enjoying the music in the skill screen, which is beautiful, but since i was high i thought the 5 minutes i spent just vibing to the music was like 30 minutes so i thought i wasted a bunch of time, 5:48pm. (Ive decided to call this method of accidentally using only one skill/attribute point at the beginning of the game because youre too zooted to play video games well "Harry-Maxxing".)

5. Going through the "trying to wake up" beginning of the game choosing only the funniest dialogue options and seeing dialogue i had never seen before! Fun! But also before i took this pic i referenced the nina chimera FMA meme and my partner hadnt heard of it so i explained it for only like 10 minutes, but again, since i was high, i thought i wasted like 2 hours on that. But it was only 6:16 pm.

6

6. and 7. A glorious 3 minutes later, i decide turning the light on is a great first move (its been a bit since my first playthrough). Again, i am only choosing the funniest dialogue options and not thinking super well, so i just kept saying shit like "BRING IT ON" and "Let it all go" because i thought it was typical harry being overdramatic and weird, and i thought it was hilarious. Turns out i had a heart attack from turning the light on and immediately died. Literally like 5 minutes of actual playtime. Incredible. I love this game.

It wasnt the full playthrough i was hoping for but it was awesome. Rip harry number 2. I definitely recommend harry-maxxing

[solardee]

If Dawn and Dusk had to come from any specific country- what do you think that would be and how that culture would tie into their beliefs and personalities? Or even affect the nature and landscape they grew up in?

Hmm, that's interesting! Canonically, Dawn and Dusk are from an era that happened roughly around the same time as the roman empire would have, and I planned to have their original language be some form of early germanic/latin as the culture they stemmed from would be similar to iron-age Mediterranean culture? Obviously though, I do not know early germanic or latin, I just know a bit of latin and that's it LOL. If Dawn & Dusk's world was set in a real-world location, I imagine they'd be somewhere between inland Italy and the alps? They had never traveled, so they had never seen the sea before, and most of the flora/fauna I've fleshed out for them would be pretty at home in the Mediterranean climate!

I don't think it would affect their personalities much, given much of it is tied to their powerset, and given they're magic forest children the culture of the average humans/monsters that would hypothetically live in their real-world equivalent would still be alien to them. Dawn and Dusk would likely be equivalent to Fae creatures in our world, albeit on the less malicious side.

As for the many wars/civil wars that took place in the Roman Empire, there's the same issue as the Monster/human war that's already there in story, so nothing much would change there.

[elledritchhorr0r]

Valkyr

God of Storms

Sibling to Dagon (god of seas)

It is said that Valkyr was born from the Primal Storm, before the material plane had settled on a form. The rain from that storm flooded the plane, and over time, settled into oceans, bringing Dagon into the world. This makes Valkyr the elder sibling to the god of the sea.

If you find yourself on an overseas voyage odds are, you'll find a shrine devoted to the Valkyr the god of storms.

A simple affair, perhaps a barrel that's been fixed down with intricate knotwork, or a decorated anchor, maybe even as small as a symbol, carved into the main mast for protection.

Valkyr worship is popular in fishing communities, shipping ports, and is the main religion among storm giants (I know) But the religion does not spread inland much.

During the third age, a great empire was built in Valkyr's name, Valkyria. During this time, the world was wild and old the storms furious and the waters teeming with giant monsters and unimaginable horrors. The Stormriders of Valkyria tamed the ocean in a grand crusade slaying their way though the ancient dangers of the ocean as far north as Icewind Dale, and raiding their way through coastal settlements

The Valkyrians amassed an enviable hoard of wealth eventually becoming the richest civilization of the 3rd age. But it was not their wealth that would become their downfall.

Their conquest of the seas, more specifically, the beastial blood they spilled awakened something. An avenger, perhaps the only of its kind. The Emerald Wyrm.

It rampaged down the sword coast, causing tsunamis and eating entire islands. The bottom of the ocean itself was eaten away. When Valkyr realized that the emerald Wyrm was coming for their empire, they sailed to meet it in battle. Only Valkyr returned. They commanded their people to flee, and watched as the great Valkyrian empire was devoured in one fell swoop.

Clerics of Valkyr honor the history of Valkyr worship. They support displaced people, refugees of any disaster. Many still take on the great hunt, to rid the world of the Emerald Elder as it is now called. Clerics of Valkyr are cool under pressure, and often pray for their gods mercy during times of strife.

Clerics that can touch Valkyr's divine weave can conjure storms or bolts of lightning. Clerics of Valkyr heal with nourishing rain and healing waters.

Most ships would want to have a worshipper of Valkyr aboard. Especially if they get into a fight.

[dawso67]

Warehouse Rent in San Bernardino, CA- A Comprehensive Guide

San Bernardino, California, serves as a strategic hub for businesses seeking warehouse space due to its proximity to major transportation routes and the Inland Empire's robust logistics infrastructure. Whether you're a startup or an established enterprise, understanding the warehouse rent San Bernardino landscape in San Bernardino is crucial for making informed decisions.​

Prime Location Benefits

Situated at the crossroads of Interstate 10 and 215, San Bernardino offers unparalleled access to Southern California's extensive freeway network. This connectivity facilitates efficient distribution to key markets, including Los Angeles, Riverside, and Ontario. Additionally, the presence of San Bernardino International Airport and nearby rail yards enhances intermodal shipping options, making it an attractive location for businesses involved in manufacturing, distribution, and e-commerce.​

Current Rental Rates

As of the latest data, the average asking rent for industrial space in San Bernardino is approximately $11.72 per square foot per year . However, rates can vary based on several factors:​

Property Size: Larger spaces often offer more favorable per-square-foot rates.​

Building Age and Condition: Newer or recently renovated facilities may command higher rents.​

Amenities and Features: Properties with advanced features like high ceilings, multiple loading docks, and office spaces may have premium rates.​

Types of Warehouse Spaces

San Bernardino's warehouse offerings cater to a diverse range of business needs:​

Flex Spaces: Combining warehouse and office areas, ideal for businesses requiring administrative functions on-site.​

Distribution Centers: Large-scale facilities equipped with multiple loading docks, suitable for high-volume shipping and receiving.

Manufacturing Spaces: Warehouses with specialized features to accommodate production lines and heavy equipment.​

Cold Storage: Temperature-controlled facilities for perishable goods, though less common in the region.​

Finding the Right Warehouse

To identify suitable warehouse spaces in San Bernardino, consider utilizing commercial real estate platforms such as:

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 Final Thoughts

Warehouse rent San Bernardino presents numerous advantages, including strategic location, competitive rental rates, and a variety of property options to suit diverse business needs. By carefully assessing your requirements and leveraging available resources, you can secure a warehouse space that aligns with your operational goals.​

If you need assistance in finding specific warehouse spaces or have questions about the leasing process, feel free to ask!

[blueiscoool]

Vast Subterranean Aqueduct in Naples Once 'Served Elite Roman Villas'

Once played in by local children, a vast tunnel that goes through a hill in Naples, Italy, is actually a Roman aqueduct.

Forty years ago, when children in Naples were playing in caves and tunnels under the hill of Posillipo in Italy, they didn't know their playground was actually a Roman aqueduct. When they shared their memories with archaeological authorities recently, it kicked off an exploration of one of the longest, most mysterious examples of ancient water infrastructure in the Roman world.

Rome's famous aqueducts supplied water for baths, drinking, public fountains and more. Built during a period of about half a millennium (roughly 300 B.C. to A.D. 200), aqueducts around the former Roman Empire are highly recognizable today thanks to their multitiered arched structure. But this marvel of ancient architecture represents only a small fraction of the actual water system; the vast majority of the infrastructure is still underground.

Outside of Rome, subterranean aqueducts and their paths are much less understood. This knowledge gap included the newly investigated Aqua Augusta (opens in new tab), also called the Serino aqueduct, which was built between 30 B.C. and 20 B.C. to connect luxury villas and suburban outposts in the Bay of Naples. Circling Naples and running down to the ancient vacation destination of Pompeii, the Aqua Augusta is known to have covered at least 87 miles (140 kilometers), bringing water to people all along the coast as well as inland.

But the complex Aqua Augusta has barely been explored by researchers, making it the least-documented aqueduct in the Roman world. New discoveries earlier this month by the Cocceius Association (opens in new tab), a nonprofit group that engages in speleo-archaeological work, are bringing this fascinating aqueduct to light.

Thanks to reports from locals who used to explore the tunnels as kids, association members found a branch of the aqueduct that carried drinking water to the hill of Posillipo and to the crescent-shaped island of Nisida (opens in new tab). So far, around 2,100 feet (650 meters) of the excellently preserved aqueduct has been found, making it the longest known segment of the Aqua Augusta.

Graziano Ferrari (opens in new tab), president of the Cocceius Association, said in an email that "the Augusta channel runs quite near to the surface, so the inner air is good, and strong breezes often run in the passages." Exploring the aqueduct requires considerable caving experience, though. Speleologists' most difficult challenge in exploring the tunnel was to circumvent the tangle of thorns at one entrance.

"Luckily, the caving suits are quite thornproof," he said. "After succeeding in entering the channel, we met normal caving challenges — some sections where you have to crawl on all fours or squeeze through."

In a new report (opens in new tab), Ferrari and Cocceius Association Vice President Raffaella Lamagna (opens in new tab) list several scientific studies that can be done now that this stretch of aqueduct has been found. Specifically, they will be able to calculate the ancient water flow with high precision, to learn more about the eruptive sequences that formed the hill of Posillipo, and to study the mineral deposits on the walls of the aqueduct.

Rabun Taylor (opens in new tab), a professor of classics at the University of Texas at Austin who was not involved in the report, said in an email that the newly discovered aqueduct section is interesting because it is "actually a byway that served elite Roman villas, not a city. Multiple demands on this single water source stretched it very thin, requiring careful maintenance and strict rationing."

Taylor, an expert on Roman aqueducts, also said the new find "may be able to tell us a lot about the local climate over hundreds of years when the water was flowing." This insight is possible thanks to a thick deposit of lime, a calcium-rich mineral that "accumulates annually like tree rings and can be analyzed isotopically as a proxy for temperature and rainfall," he explained.

Ferrari, Lamagna and other members of the Cocceius Association plan to analyze the construction of the aqueduct as well, to determine the methods used and the presence of water control structures. "We believe that there are ample prospects for defining a research and exploration plan for this important discovery, which adds a significant element to the knowledge of the ancient population" living in the Bay of Naples, they wrote in the report.

By Kristina Killgrove.

[strelles-universe]

Empire Names and Meanings Redux

Ancient and Divine Animals

Noble Creatures and beasts are the true forms of the Souls, the grand spirits and other such incredible beings.

Land Predators

The powerful and deadly creatures of the world. Some of these names include words from the pre-connection era of the world.

Amphibians and Reptiles

Admittedly predominantly a collection of snakes.

General Aquatic

A small list of names for now but the things of the sea that don't quite fit with the fish and can't be merged with other words.

Freshwater Fish

A small collection of commonly eaten and popular fish that grow inland in ponds and streams.

Saltwater Fish

Names that usually lean towards cats of great size and more exotic fish.

Crustaceans and Mollusks

All the shelled critters whose names usually evoke a sensation of defensiveness and protection.

Raptors

The most powerful and deadly birds known to the world of strelles - commonly seen in the myths and tales of the Souls. WindClan even proclaims that they're equally as sacred to the Skulks/

Seed Birds

Birds are an extremely popular choice for names - their variety of patterns and behaviors provide a sufficient amount of variety for the clans.

Water Birds

With birds being so popular, it's not unusual or surprising for RiverClan to lean so heavily towards aquatic birds themselves. They're not exclusive to RiverClan but they're very popular methods of denoting someone's skill with fishing or affinity to water.

Large Herbivores

...

Rodents

...

Bugs and Creepy Crawlies

Though bugs are agitating and a somewhat unappreciated part of life, the clans also acknowledge that their will to live and thrive is impressive. Bugs struggle through the world on tiny wings and tinier legs and such resilience is respected.

Color Based

Among the most common names prefix-wise. Especially for a tired molly who just had a litter of kits, it's just easier to use the colors to name your kit. Many names also have implications related to the Spirits of the Clans; something meant to nudge the kits in a specific direction.

Pattern Based

Equally common as colors as a prefix for a tired queen, pattern based names are popular especially when a kit has a notable pattern.

Texture Based

...

Appearance Based

...

Personality Based

...

Light Based

...

Water Based

Prominent in RiverClan, water based names are often very emotional or have forceful connotations. Even cats out of RiverClan will sometimes grant their kit a water-based name in the hopes of drawing Riversoul's eye over them for protection.

Ice Based

...

Heat Based

Names popular to ThunderClan that emphasize their passion and determination. Though fire is frightening, living in a forest ThunderClan has been forced to learn about the benefits of small flames.

Wind Based

...

Ground Based

...

General Plants

...

Herb Based

...

Flower Based

...

Tree Based

...

Fruit Based

...

Body Parts

...

Time Based

...

Location Based

...

Combat Verbs

...

Sound Verbs

...

General Verbs

...

Additional Notes for the Names of Strelles

When I was creating the list, little aspects of worldbuilding cropped up and I needed to keep track of it. These additions don't have to be part of anyone else's world if you're just using the list for their meanings and the variety but I think they're nice to have anyway.

Might wanna keep checking up on this if you want to keep up with them. Every time I post a name update; I'll probably update this section a little bit too.

[euclydya]

THE SKILLS: MARKETABLE PLUSHIES, COLLECTABLE FIGURINES, ACTION FIGURES, OR STIM TOYS?

Before I begin, I want 2 preface this with I saw a post that said "I'm going to turn you into a marketable plushie" and then hyperfixated on this concept for the entire duration of my shower. And it made me laugh lots. And now I'm sharing thid all with everyone else and I'm making it y'all's problem. Anyways let's go it's under the cut bc it is Long

PHYSIQUE:

Electrochemistry – Plushie. I am very biased though.

Endurance – Stim toy? If I'm forced to choose then stim toy. I do not like his ass but he's like 90% tits, so, JEJDJCJCCKXKXJ

Half Light – stim toy but specifically like a plasticy toy w liquid & glitter in it :3c

Pain Threshold – ???? Unsure. Collectable figurine perhaps?

Physical instrument – while brainstorming all of this in the shower I jokingly said sex toy and it made me laugh so much . So there's that!

Shivers – Collectable figurine bc anything else feels Unfitting.

INTELLECT:

Conceptualization – I initially thought plushie but a collectable figurine would be cool too? Hmmmb.

Drama – STIM TOY i want ot chrw on their head. Plushie will also suffice.

Encyclopedia – I will keep it very simple and say collectable figurine .

Logic – Rubix cube. fucka youe.

Rhetoric – Collectable figurine or action figure?????? whatever the fuck a ball-jointed doll falls under. Rhetoric is that. Or perhaps a ball-jointed plush, even. Not smth to Play With but a collectable thing nonetheless,

Visual Calculus – Action figure. I want 2 give VisCalc a gun

MOTORICS:

Composure – NONE OF THE ABOVE composure would be a lil statue u caj put on a shelf and store stuff in.

Hand/Eye Coordination – ACTION FIGURE give this guy toy weapons right NAOW!!!!!

Interfacing – PLUSHIE but Specifically one of those plush backpacks!!!!! Ithink it would b cute. U could store trinkets and tools in there It's what Interfacing would have wantedJDHFJCKSKDKC

Perception – Plushie <3

Reaction Speed – I.... Don't know. Anything But a plushie. bc xe's constantly on the move™ it's hard 2 put that into Anything That Isn't Moving y'know.

Savoir Faire – ACTION FIGURE GIVE THIS GUY TOY WEAPONS ALSO!!

PSYCHE:

Authority – the idea of an authority plush scares me. Hehdhsjssjdjdjsjaks. Would make a v cool collectable figurine tho

Empathy – Plushie!! But also I think she'd be a good stim toy too. liek a stressball,

Esprit De Corps – PLOSHIE . like one of those lil plague doctor plushies. ya

Inland Empire – You *could* turn Inland into a plushie but why *would* you? It could work but it'd look A Bit Weird. Ithink a collectable figurine would work best <3

Volition – Ploshie,,,,..,.,. but I'm also biased. Would also look nice as a collectable figurine also I think.

Suggestion – I straigjt up almost forgot his ass. Turn him into a dammit doll. let me throw him against shit . like a webkinz full of milk, even.

[coveredinsun]

empires SMP worldbuilding: the alliances

as with every other worldbuilding post, these are all just my personal headcanons! feel free to add any thoughts and/or additions you may have. above all else, enjoy! <3

like my other worldbuilding post, i will be using this (admittedly very outdated) map as a reference:

though, unlike the other post in which i focused on all the empires individually this post will specifically be comparing and contrasting the two biggest alliances in the empires world:

the wither rose alliance (WRA) – mythland/sausage; the grimlands/fwhip; the crystal cliffs/gem; gilded helianthia/pearl.

the cod alliance (CA) – pixandria/pixl; mezalea/joel; the codlands/jimmy; the ocean empire/lizzie; the overgrown/katherine*

* [yes, i consider katherine a member of the cod alliance. i will not be elaborating.]

the basics

the wither rose alliance was formed 700 years prior to canon, when the rulers of mythland, the crystal cliffs, and the grimlands– formerly known as the hearthlands, prior to the wither’s destruction– came together to defeat the wither. in the process, the rulers had become close friends, and ultimately decided an alliance between their nations would be beneficial.

despite its assistance, gilded helianthia had been denied a spot in the WRA for 700 years due to the fact that it had been a territory of mythland when the alliance was formed. though it had gained its own autonomy and independence just after the formation, it was not added until very recently: after king sausage’s corruption, and mythland’s subsequent unofficial ejection from the alliance, farmer queen pearl finally gained a spot for gilded helianthia.

the “wither rose festival” is held annually in mythland to celebrate the longevity and success of the WRA. the first day is exactly one week before the summer solstice, and each nation gets a day. the celebration is known for its huge crowds, and for the myriad of items, foods, and cultural exchange.

technically, the cod alliance was officially formed in the wake of the ender dragon. prior to that, there was no official alliance between those nations. however, ask any of their citizens and you will receive an overwhelming response that they’ve practically been in an unofficial alliance for years due to their close relations (due to their shared water-based trade).

while no one can say precisely how long ago it happened, the ocean empire had not begun interacting with any other empire directly (save for mezalea, due to proximity) until it decided against its own isolation a little less than 200 years ago. while farther inland empires weren’t particularly affected by this, this was the beginning of trade between what is now the cod alliance, as those four nations primarily trade by water.

on the other hand, the cod empire has been dealing with other nations since its origin– specifically, mythland. the most notable conflict between the two was that over the bay known as “ocean’s edge,” which is what the mythland-codlands wall was raised over. the waters north of it belong to the codlands (and thus, the CA), and the waters south of it belong to mythland (and thus, the WRA)

over time, relations between the two nations have simmered, and codfather jimmy has made peace with king sausage, but the wall remains an indisputable symbol of the cultural divide between the “northern” and “southern” nations, which brings me to my next points:

north and south

as mentioned above, the wall which separates mythland territory from codland territory is a symbol of division between the northern and southern empires. but what does that actually mean? here’s the map again, this time with trade routes indicated, as a refresher:

colors: pixandria (light yellow); mythland (bright red); the overgrown (pink); rivendell (teal); gilded helianthia (gold/light orange); the lost empire (dark green); the grimlands (dark red); the crystal cliffs (purple); the undergrove (dark yellow); cod empire (mint green); the ocean empire (pink)

notice how it’s split very unevenly. the vast majority of it is mythland territory, which allows mythland to have a strong grasp on water trade routes (and thus, be the trading powerhouse its known as).

in the north, the average citizen will say that the codlands have a rightful claim to the area, because trade by water is so vital to their well-being as a northern empire.

the northern empires trade almost exclusively by sea. crossing the pixandrian desert and/or mezalean mesa is impractical and dangerous, the codlands is on the edge of its peninsula, and the ocean empire… goes without saying. the exception is the overgrown, who trades by land.

the southern empires trade by land, working around the cliffs/rivendell mountain range. in the case of the wither rose alliance, one could walk from smallhold to mythland, or from the cliffs to the grimlands, in a mere 20 minutes.

mythland does not need that bay to thrive as a nation, so many northerners regard it as area of the codfather. in fact, after king sausage had died, there was talk of codfather jimmy considering taking it back, but the codfather insists he never planned to ever go through with such an idea.

of course, any decisions could and would be made independly of the other CA nations. until very recently, there was never an alliance to turn to for counsel or input, a mindset which has stayed. those rulers highly value their nations’ sovereignty, and see the WRA nations as dependent on one another.

on the flip side, the WRA nations have grown alongside one another for centuries; no major decisions are made without consulting the others. this input is appreciated and cherished, so much that they often regard the CA nations as careless toward their allies.

bonus details:

the cod alliance, simply put, is wealthier than the wither rose alliance. as nations, at least. mezalea is a gold mine, literally. pixandria is rich in copper, a lot of which is sold to the grimlands. the ocean empire is the only source of prismarine, a particularly sturdy and weather-durable building material. the overgrown is the world’s exporter of dyes, lots (but not all!) of which is sold to rivendell for their wool; and the codlands is the primary source of slime, which is sold to many nations for many reasons, like to smallhold for agriculture and the grimlands for redstone.

on the other hand: mythland is known for its iron, but that’s not as valuable as gold and doesn’t conduct electricity as well as copper. the cliffs have amethyst, which is valuable but has no practical uses besides spyglasses or tinted glass, and thus isn’t traded very much. the grimlands export SOME redstone, but they keep much of it for themselves. however, gilded helianthia is surprisingly wealthy, as it exports a LOT of the world’s crops– in fact, the ocean empire is practically reliant on it.

[365days365movies]

Historical July V: The 13th Warrior (1999)

Let’s start from the beginning here.

Beowulf was an epic poem now considered one of the oldest written legends in English ever. Written between 975 and 1025, it tells the story of the hero Beowulf, warrior of an ancient Swedish tribe known as the Geats. Not quite Vikings, but not terribly far off. Recruited by King Hrothgar of the Danes (another Scandinavian Viking-esque tribe), he killed the vicious monster Grendel, as well as his vile mother. Beowulf returns home and becomes king of the Geats for 50 years, only to slay a dragon and die from his wounds.

This is one of the most studied poems ever written, and I am not doing it justice with that summary. Still, because of this, the story of the hero slaying a monster has remained a staple of classic literature to this day. Obviously, it was around before this as well, but this is definitely a sterling example. It was also, of course, adapted countless times over the years, including the 2007 motion capture film directed by Robert Zemeckis, and cowritten by...holy shit, NEIL GAIMAN?

...Wow. I’d tag him in this post, since I know he’s active on Tumblr, BUT I DON’T GOTS THE BALLS TO DO THAT. Seriously, though, no idea he wrote Beowulf, that’s a surprise to me! The film itself is somewhat controversial in terms of reception, and I was tempted to watch it again, since I barely remember it. Buuuuut, this is about watching movies I’ve never seen, so let’s get back to that, right? 

So, we’ve got Beowulf in one corner. AND IN THE OTHER CORNER, standing in the 800s-1000s, ready to engage in piracy and trade, we have the Varangians, AKA the Volga, AKA the Volga Vikings! So, first things first: Vikings.

The cultural vernacular would have you think that Vikings were these horn-helmeted barbarians who raped and pillaged everything they saw. A lot of that is, of course, untrue, but the Vikings were certainly not to be messed with. As usual, this comes from a casual observer of history, not a true historian, so feel free to correct me if I’m wrong, or let me know about something interesting of which I may not be aware!

The earliest known account of the Norsemen is in 793, kicking off what historians refer to as the Vking Age of Scandinavia. Specifically, we’re talking Denmark, Norway, and Sweden, as well as parts of England, Iceland, Greenland, and a bunch of islands in the Atlantic. Some of the people from these places served as mercenaries in more inland Europe, in what you eventually would call Turkey. The guard that formed from these Scandinavians were known as the Varangian Guard.

From the areas near Byzantium, the Norsemen would use the river Volga, which runs from the Caspian Sea throughout Russia, and encounters a lot of cities and settlements. Here, the Vikings became well-known for their trade, some of which miiiiiiiight have been slaves. OK, some of that was DEFINITELY slaves, but also furs, tusks, and other goods. It was on the water that the Norsemen REALLY hit their stride, and they became famous for their colonization and  conquest of the seas. They went fuckin’ EVERYWHERE, and you could find settlements of the Vikings from Greenland to the Ukraine.

But of course, this was accompanied by raids, pillaging, and mercenary work along the way. Never said that part wasn’t true. Their might as warriors was legendary, as was the weaponry they used, and the Norse gods they worshipped. These are the men of Odin the All-Father, Thor the Thunderer, and Loki the Tom Hiddlestoned.

Alligator Loki is the only true Loki, and I will fight you all.

Anyway, this is a massive oversimplification of the importance of the Vikings, as well as their methodologies and influence. I haven’t seen A&E’s series Vikings, but I hear it’s very good! Might check it out one of these days. The warriors were made famous for their struggles against Charlemagne and the Holy Roman Empire, as they resisted the push towards Christianity felt all across Europe. When he died, they experienced a resurgence, leading for more raiding and more pillaging!

But it wouldn’t last forever. The vast Viking states in Scandinavia began to fracture into separate empires, especially because Christianity made its way to Denmark and Norway in the end. The Pagan beliefs of the Norsemen were being replaced by the rise of Christianity, and new kings and rulers rose from the chaos. Slavery was also being abolished, eliminating a source of income and trade for the Vikings. And then, in 1107, King Sigurd of Norway took his people and turned their sights towards a new building conflict in the south, a clash between Christianity and Islam. And with the rise of the Crusades, the Viking Age was over.

But their legends, of course, lived on well afterwards. The Greeks, Russians, and others still referred to them by their name in the region: the Varangians or the Volga Vikings. In their time, they’d ruled over their own kingdom, the Kievan Rus’, which took up much of eastern Russia. This kingdom of Vikings outside of Scandinavia was ruled by the Rurik dynasty from 882 to 1263, and in that time period, much of the territory was taken over by Christianity and the Slavs. But for a time, the kingdom was a force to be reckoned with.

Also, apparently, they’re an enemy is Assassin’s Creed: Revelations? I really gotta play more of those games.

OK, so...where does that lead us? Well, much of the information we have about the Volga Vikings comes from an Arab author named Ahmad ibn Fadlan, who wrote of his experiences with the Vikings as part of a trade caravan. He’s also the main source of the “ship burial” ritual, in which a boat was used as a coffin, containing goods and treasures along with the deceased. His writings on the subject were read and adapted by another famous author.

Oh, Michael Crichton, how I love you. Fuck yeah, Westworld and Jurassic Park author Michael Crichton saw this book, and said “I wanna write about this!” And so, he wrote Eaters of the Dead, an retelling of the story of Ahmad ibn Fadlan’s journey with the Volga Vikings, as well as an adaptation of Beowulf! Yup! It’s historical fiction time, baBEEEEEE

 To adapt this into film, who should step in but John McTiernan, director of Last Action Hero, The Hunt for Red October, Predator, The Thomas Crown Affair, and ONE OF THE BEST ACTION FILMS OF THE 1980S

...OK, I’m ready. Let’s do this. Who’s in this movie, by the way?

FUCKING ZORRO IS IN THIS MOVIE?

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap (1/2)

We begin with Aḥmad ibn Faḍlān ibn al-ʿAbbās ibn Rāšid ibn Ḥammād (Antonio Banderas), a historian, ambassador, and exile from his country. Also, an Arabic man played by a Spanish actor. Granted, we know basically NOTHING about the real man’s ethnicity or origins, so it’s not...impossible? But OK, that potential problem aside, why is he an exile? Well, he schtupped the wife of a nobleman.

As he and his friend Melchisidek (Omar Sharif) travel to be an ambassador to the Bulgars near Volga, they are attacked by Tatar raiders, then saved by travelling Norsemen. And no, that’s not how this happened in real life, but whatever it’s a dramatic way to introduce our boys. The Vikings are there to mourn the death of their king, and that night, Ahmad gets to observe a ship burning Viking funeral. Which, uh, the real Fadlan DID NOT witness, since he witnessed a ship burial. But again, whatever.

Although disgusted by the seemingly uncivilized behavior of the Vikings, Fadlan observes their behavior and stays with this caravan for a bit. The prince of these people is Buliwyf the Leader (Vladimir Kulich), while the only one that speaks a language other than Norsk is Herger the Joyous (Dennis Storhøi), and he translates the dialogue of the Norsemen into Latin for Melchisidek.

Later, a messenger from the North comes to ask for their aid. The young man is a prince, and the son of King Hrothgar, and NOW I GET IT. Hrothgar. King of the Danes. And “Buliwyf”. It’s Beowulf, OK, got it. And the kid is asking for help to slay a monster that’s been damaging their village. A seeress tells them that 13 men must go to fight the creature, and that the last must not be a Norseman. And so, against his will, Ahmad is now...the 13th Warrior.

Reluctantly, Ahmad goes along, and over an unspecified amount of time, learns their language. It’s a clever way to show it, too, as bits and pieces of their conversation are heard in English as Ahmad continues to learn. He shocks them all, interrupting them as they’re mocking him over a fire, then immediately calling them a “son of a pig-eating whore”, which is a hell of a first impression.

Over time, with his high horsemanship and his observational skills, he gains the respect of Builwyf as they make their way to the shores of Hrothgar’s kingdom. He even teaches Buliwyf how to write Arabic, which is neat! Meanwhile, Ahmad learns more of their ways and religion, noting the differences between his monotheistic Islam, and their polytheistic belief in the Norse pantheon. When they get there, the place is FUCKED up. Walls broken down, buildings in ruin, and a broken king. 

Said King Hrothgar (Sven Wollter) knows Builwyf and his late father, and has come to ask him for assistance with this threat. Said threat is not told to us at first, but is apparently an ancient enemy of the Vikings from 100 years prior. As the 13 men deliberate over this, Ahmad spots a bloody and injured child running through the fields. The Vikings, with the help of a local, discover his origin: a destroyed cabin in the woods. In said cabin is a beheaded corpse, hanging upside-down alongside other similarly dismembered bodies. Yikerrrrrrs. Ahmad is the one to see this, and is quite sickened by the sight. This confirms the Viking’s fears: their culprits are the Eaters of the Dead, also known as the Wendol. Which, yes, is a deliberate reference to Grendel. Interesting. VERY interesting. I’m kinda diggin’ this.

Looking through the cabin, Ahmad discovers a small figurine. This is a Venus figurine, a relic from the Neolithic age thought to be worshipped as a fertility figure. It’s apparently meant to represent the mother of the Wendel. HA! Nice. I AM digging this so far; it’s cool to have this classic story realistically reinterpreted into a real story. They return back to the settlement, where they discover that the Wendol are encroaching closer to the village.

That night, after dinner and a verbal altercation between Buliwyf and Hrothgar’s son, Prince Wigliff (Anders T. Andersen), the men agree to wait in the great hall for the Wendol, who are barely men according to them. That night, they wait behind, and the Wendol do indeed attack them, killing and beheading two of them. And while the Warriors kill some of them, their bodies are gone by the end.

After being tended to by a woman of the village, Ahmad goes back to joining the rest of the Warriors in training and fortifying the village against attacks. He struggles quite a bit, but gets the village metalworker to make him a scimitar in order to ease the work. And also do Zorro-esque sword tricks, because he’s Antonio fucking Banderas.

But as the work goes on, Herger gets into an argument with a young man of the village, which leads to a fight in the middle of the village, possibly to the death. Fearing that Herger will indeed die, Ahmad tries to get Buliwyf to stop the fight, but he refuses. As Herger is clearly losing the fight to the younger man, Wigliff encourages the young man to kill him, only for Herger to easily kill him. Yeah, turns out that Wigliff is an absolute asshole, and he’s trying to set Buliwyf and the Warriors up to fail.

After the battle is done, lookout Edgtho the Silent (Daniel Southern) spots fire on the hillside, and rouses the attentions of the other Warriors. They believe that the Wendol has raised a great dragon, the Firewyrm. However, it is instead hundreds of the Wendol, armed with torches and coming down the hillside. Ahmad rides out and rescues a young woman, seeing the Wendol in the process. Time for battle.

Ahmad and the others lower their new barricades, as the Wendol ride in on horses and carrying torches. And honestly...it’s pretty fuckin’ sick. I mean it, this is awesome looking. They throw their torches over the barricade, while getting fired on by the Vikings, and returning that fire with arrows and spears. Village people put out some of the fires, while the bear-hide wearing barbarians steadily make their way into the citadel.

By the time the fight is over, four more Warriors are dead, bring us down to 7 left. It’s also discovered that the Wendol are in fact humans, clothed in the skin of bears, because that shit...that shit is cool. For the record, I’m not claiming that this movie is the best or anything close...but I’m having a good time with it, is all I’m saying. After the battle is done, Ahmad partakes in some mead, then spends the night with the woman from earlier, Olga (Maria Bonneie).

The next day, in the need for more information on the Wendel, the Queen Weilew (Diane Venora) brings them to an old woman in the woods, a seeress. She tells them to find the mother of the Wendol, as she is their source of willpower, as well as their leader, who “wears the horns of power”. The Wendol Mother can be found “in the Earth”. And with that, a new quest to end this scourge begins.

As they head out, they find the village of the Wendol, and note the ritualistic structures topped in bear skulls. Ahmad then deduces that the Wendol not only want to be seen as bears, but also see themselves as bears, hence their headdresses and manner of fighting. And so, they search for a cave, where bears are said to sleep. And again, that’s a really neat interpretation of the original story, where Grendel’s mother is said to be found in a cave, I AM FUCKIN’ DIGGIN’ THIS MOVIE

Sure enough, they find a cave in the Wendol’s territory, and find a gigantic Venus figurine. And, of course, they find just a FUCKTON OF SKULLS. It’s basically a temple to death, a true ossuary within the mountain. AND YES, IT’S FUCKING AWESOME. This...this might be a new guilty pleasure movie for me. Like, a movie you put on in the background while you’re doing something else. Because I’m genuinely really enjoying it.

The make their way down a waterfall, going deeper into the cave. As the Warriors fight the Wendol themselves, Buliwyf goes to find the Mother of the Wendol. He does, and instead of having sex like they do in the 2007 film, he just beheads the shit out of her. Which is a shame, because she looks incredibly cool. However, in the process, he is stabbed by a weapon of hers, dipped in some kind of liquid. Given that she had a snake on her, I’m assuming that it’s meant to be poison.

On the way out of the cave, warrior Helfdane the Fat (Clive Russell) chooses to stay behind and fend them off, bringing us down to 5. Pretty sure somebody died in the fight with the Wendol, but it was a little darkly lit, so I wasn’t sure. But yeah, we’re at 5. They find a hole in the cave that leads to the ocean outside, and make it back to Hrothgar’s hall.

At this point, it’s clear that Builwyf is going to die from the poison of the Wendol Mother. At the same time, this is not the end of the fight, as the Wendol Leader is still not dead, and they’ll want vengeance for killing the mother. As they talk about this, they hear the Wendol on their way. As they prepare, Conan prays to Crom...I mean, Ahmad prays to Allah.

Buliwyf also comes out, to face the end fighting. As he does, he and the other Warriors (Ahmad included), say a prayer of their own, preparing to be interred in the halls of Valhalla. Funny thing, though, that’s a real prayer from the writings of ibn Fadlan! Yeah! But it’s also from a slave girl about to be burned to death with her master, so not exactly the same. Regardless, it’s a neat touch! And with that, here come the Wendol.

The battle commences, and while it’s tough, the leader of the Wendol indeed falls at the sword of Buliwyf, causing all of the remaining Wendol to retreat into the woods from whence they came...and probably elect a new leader to come back and kill the rest of them at ome point, but whatever. The Warrior watch them fade into the fog, and as they do...Buliwyf dies, sitting upright as if in a throne, as a true king.

The Warriors take him and give him the burial of a king. In real life, like I said, he’d likely be buried within a ship, instead of in a burning ship at sea, but I get it. It’s a powerful image. And with that, the battle is over. Herger stays behind, and the rest return to the south. Ahmad writes his story in a journal, and the film...just ends.

Well, that ending was abrupt as fuck.

But is this a good movie? Welllllllll...

Cast and Acting - 5/10: Look, Antonio Banderas is a great actor...whe he’s playing someone with charisma. Stoic...isn’t his strong suit. Not saying he was bad in this; mobody was bad in this in terms of acting. But he was...boring. Except for Dennis Storhøi as Herger, everybody kind of is. Not bad, just...dull.

Plot and Writing - 7/10: People criticize this movie for having a thin and boring plot, but...this film creatively reinterpreted the myth of Beowulf and made it realistically possible. And goddamn, if I ain’t a sucker for that shit. That said, that’s all Michael Crichton. The writing by William Wisher, Jr. and Warren Lewis is just...fine. It’s fine? It’s not amazing, it’s just fine.

Direction and Cinematography - 5/10: Eh...it’s OK. Some shots are actually quite good, especially those within the foggy wastes. But others...eh. John McTiernan did fine, but I won’t say he was perfect either. Same with cinematographer Peter Menzies Jr.

Production and Art Design - 9/10: Now I may be just a simple country Tumblr writer, and I may not know my historical clothing as well as some a’ those high-falutin’ city Tumblr writers, but from where I sit...this movies LOOKED pretty fucking awesome. Yeah, I love it. It looks pretty fuckin’ great, not gonna lie.

Music and Editing - 6/10: I mean, it’s Jerry Goldsmith doing the score. That seems about right. It’s a great score...even though it feels like it should be scoring a different movie sometimes. Yeah, that is kind of an issue. And then there’s the editing by John Wright, which seems fine to me? Like, I don’t really have any issues with it.

I’m cool with 64%. Because I had some fun with this one!

It’s not great, and it’s not the most fun film I’ve ever seen, but I do like the interpretation of the original myth quite a lot, to be honest! Kudos to this movie for that, if for nothing else.

OK, so that’s the 900s covered. This movie took place in 922, by the way. Now, I would do a Crusades movie, but I’ve actually seen a LOT of those already, weirdly enough. A Knight’s Tale is tempting in terms of historical fiction, but...eh. Maybe not this time. In fact, as I look at it...oh, God, I’m gonna have to jump another several hundred years for the next one. But if so...might as well go somewhere interesting, right?

Next: The Agony and the Ecstasy (1965);dir. Carol Reed

[novemango]

8, 14, and 22 for the DE asks?

8: What is your favourite line from the game?

"After the world, the pale. After the pale, the world again."

Paired with "After life, death. After death, life again", this line *really* immersed me into the worldbuilding of Disco Elysium. I kind of fell in love with Dolores Dei for a bit there, it was such a beautiful sentiment. And it's completely grounded in the specific mechanics of DE's world; we don't have a real-life equivalent for the pale, or isolas (I mean, I guess there's the ocean and outer space, but the existential horror of the pale is *something else*). When I saw that line...I could see how Dolorianism became a whole-ass religion. It's so goddamn hopeful (and in the context of DE's world, it's *real*, it's *true*, there is something beyond the pale).

Plus, it's not tinged with the sinister aspects of the Moralintern/Moralism. Though...hm, I guess you could say it's linked to colonialism? Going to other isolas, imposing the Occidental's hegemony on them...I think there's a difference between exploration/scientific discovery and imperialism, though. Whatever connotations it has, religious/imperialist or not, I remember sitting there for a few minutes in silence after seeing that line on my screen. Raw-ass line! Makes me better understand Kim's attachment to Moralism.

14: What was the moment that touched you most while playing?

Honestly, when Kim and Harry disarm The Pigs/Marianne LePlante peacefully (and learn about her more from the Hardy Boys). I have a relative who...has similar symptoms, a similar background. I'm glad that the game treated her sympathetically. I...I'd like to imagine that if my relative got into a situation with the police, that they'd also recognize that she's troubled, not evil, not deserving of violence. That's a lot to expect out of the real-life police, but...yeah.

22:

HOO BOY this one is hard. I feel I don't completely know myself, that my self-perception is several degrees off from reality. But I'll try!

I guess first off my FSY stats are trash, I've always known I'm slow, have low stamina, have low tolerance for pain, not strong at all, definitely on the sickly side. I was picked last every time in P.E. in high school and in middle school! This never changed no matter how hard I tried! My MOT isn't that much better...I'm not sure whether I'm best in PSY or INT. Maybe equal?

If I had to give a full breakdown of my DE stats...I used this link https://copomatic.vercel.app/#stats as a guide, though I deviated a bit:

INT: Good

Logic — 5

Encyclopedia — 5

Rhetoric — 6

Drama — 3

Conceptualization — 7

Visual Calculus — 1

I can see, but I can't interpret what I see for shit. All the footstep analysis and crime scene reconstruction that Harry does in-game is completely beyond me. I like to think I can talk good and that I have a healthy artistic sensibility (I mean, I want to do creative writing in some capacity after I graduate, so I better have some understanding of art and literature).

PSY: Good

Volition — 3

Inland Empire — 7

Empathy — 5

Authority — 2

Esprit de Corps — 1

Suggestion — 4

If I remember the game correctly, Inland Empire is the intuition/imagination skill? Definitely my "signature skill" in real life, then.

I have little interest in bossing people around and I don't understand cops, so those would be my worst skills.

FSY: Poor

Endurance — 2

Pain Threshold — 1

Physical Instrument — 1

Electrochemistry — 3

Shivers — 2

Half-Light — 4

Half-Light is the skill that makes you paranoid, yeah? I find myself often in a constant state of anxiety, so my Half-Light should be pretty "good" (it's honestly one of the skills that fucks you up the most if you raise it too high).

MOT: Poor

Hand-Eye Coordination — 1 if we're talking real-life catching objects, 4 if we're talking viddy games

Perception — 2

Reaction Speed — again, 1 if real life, 4 if in video games

Savoir Faire — 2

Interfacing — 3

Composure — 3

does playing piano well help my interfacing score?

Thanks so much for the ask! I had fun answering these!