#specially when it’s me just analyzing these silly guys that run around my brain

[stelar-time]

I want to talk about Stanarrator for a second here because they’ve been on my mind lately

A confession actually, I feel like making them just this cutesy in love at all times couple feels so… boring? Somehow it feels like it would not be them at all, I am not saying you can’t or they can’t have their “wholesome” moments if you will but I feel like some people tone down Narrator’s mean personality on this, he IS a mean old guy sometimes it’s shown many times (although Stanley is quite hard to figure since we technically control him and we barely see him show some self control) Narrator has his personality across the entire game if you think you’re not grasping him correctly go play the game ! /lh.

But going back at the topic of their relationship, I don’t hate Stanarrator nor I think it would not work at all (Altough it’s complicated) but there’s so much potential to HOW you can show their relationship and how much they care for each other in inusitaded ways, Narrator does not undertand how humans works (and honestly I think neither does Stanley, normal human logic or feeling would not apply to them when it came to feelings or anything at all, make them have dumb fights or argue in a lighthearted way, shake up that relationship ! You know?

Well I can’t explain well how I personally view them (I have drawn and posted them technically but it’s mostly for funsies) but I guess I don’t need nor want them to outright say they love each other? They’re close and care but it’s a mutual understanding that’s very personal on both sides, I don’t think they would NEED a vocaliztion or a “what are we?” Question, they just.. are what they are.

Just to close off I said once (not here tho) that In an AU where they scaped the parable Stanley and Narrator would never quite say they were friends but also would never say to each other “do we go different ways now?” They just stick together, they don’t know why they don’t question each other about it but they don’t leave each other’s side and they don’t NEED a confirmation or anything bc that’s enough for both (I also like to think they would both get closer with the whole human world thingy and figuring out things about each other)

[blackradandmad]

why blippi is rotting yr children's brains

preface: i literally expect no one to read this. it is an essay length, strong opinion piece critiquing a niche youtube-based children's show that i don't expect most of y'all to even have knowledge of lol. but like, i promise that even if you know nothing about what i'm talking about, in my incredibly, super humble opinion, it's a good piece of writing and interesting nonetheless. anyway if you read this whole thing for some reason yr really hot and we should kiss.

i thoroughly vet everything my child watches before he watches it, episode by episode. and we rarely watch youtube for entertainment; we usually just look up educational videos when he has a question about something and wants more detail than i can provide him. and that's mainly because children's content on youtube is so fucking troubling and distressing. i don't judge parents who give their children a tablet at a restaurant at all bc i've been there and sometimes it's easier on everyone to just put on a video and avoid a giant scene, but i do judge parents who just leave their children alone with youtube kids on autoplay.

take stevin john, a literal millionaire who got famous from dressing up as a silly character called blippi and going on tours of places like aquariums, zoos, construction sites, etc and posting it on youtube. this has branched into a whole empire of blippi videos, hulu shows and specials, live shows and tours (that he outsources to another character actor), merchandise and so on. this 30-something year old man cites his main influence as being mr. rogers, but i question if he's ever even seen an episode of that program.

mr. rogers had no background in early childhood development or media production, but he revolutionized the world of children's media, because he respected his audience and didn't shy away from real world situations, all while creating a show with an enormous heart. mr. rogers begins his episodes by inviting the viewer in, literally changing his attire to be more comfortable, and talking about/doing things he genuinely cares about. whereas mr. rogers calmly and maturely addresses the viewer, blippi puts on a high pitched, contrived voice, interjecting every other sentence with a forced exclamation such as, "teehee! we're having so much fun!"

i don't find it a coincidence that john (blippi) is a veteran, either. his videos are completely devoid of the absurd, abstract, childlike thinking that makes children's media fun, creative, and entertaining. his thinking and process is methodical, devoid of emotion, and very superficial. this line of thinking clearly shows the kind of creative sterilization and emphasis on sameness and conformity instilled in the military. blippi simply observes things and interacts with them in a stale, matter-of-fact way. "this ball is purple! this ball is pink! anyway... what's over there? teehee! a car! vroom, vroom!" objects are colors, toy cars don't do anything but drive, curiosity is simply not encouraged.

he uses the "it's educational!" excuse to hide the fact that his show lacks everything that makes media a valuable resource for children to consume in the first place. further than identifying colors, numbers, and the occasional letter or shape, there is just this total lack of children's need for social and emotional development. when mr. rogers breaks the fourth wall to address the viewer and let them know they're special, it feels authentic and natural, because we've spent the last half hour building whole worlds with diverse characters and unique stories in a pretend neighborhood, learning about and enjoying different musical instruments, being exposed to and making friends with (even if parasocially, it is still a real bond to children when done properly) children who are similar to us in character regardless of physical or environmental differences, feeding the fish, making art together, and so on. when blippi tells the viewer, "you are very special, and i enjoy spending time with you!" it falls completely flat and feels unearned, because the last half hour was spent running around a soft play center pointing at bright, colorful objects, visiting interesting locations like farms or fruit production factories while failing to acknowledge the humanity of the humans actually working there (everything is machine or product focused; the human workers are simply an extension of the machine), learning "fun facts" about elephants that just list attributes of elephants, not taking the opportunity to inform the viewers of elephants' intelligence, or diet, or matriarchal society. it is a loud, sensory overwhelming display of a man so disconnected from the social and emotional needs and desires of children that he assumes they're stupid, easily entertained idiots who only need some silly dances and fast-moving cartoon graphics to give their attention (meaning time and desire to purchase products meaning $$$). john clearly views his audience as a means to gaming the algorithm and ultimately a paycheck by the hollow way he addresses them.

the show is so narcissistic, so focused on all the fun blippi is supposedly having, but he lacks any of the character traits that make individual children's show hosts memorable, so much so that he was able to have someone else who doesn't even vaguely resemble him dress as blippi and impersonate him and host the show or appear at live shows, and it went unnoticed by most of his toddler and child audience. the show is so formulaic and the character of blippi is so unmemorable that instead of taking the blue's clues route of developing a story of the host leaving for college and his brother now stepping in, or making some sort of believable excuse for the change in actors, they can simply swap him out with some random guy and not acknowledge it at all. although a comedy show for older children, the amanda show in no way could or would try to replicate the show with the same name but swapping out amanda bynes with a random teenage girl who is clearly not amanda bynes. it's weird and nonsensical and shows that his character is so much of a farce put on for a paycheck that not even his dedicated audience is affected or even cares when he is replaced by a random, unknown person.

this is completely garbage content made by an opportunist with no experience with children who saw his nephew watching children's youtube content, took it at complete surface level and still hasn't realized that while children's content only looks and feels so easy, entertaining, and enriching because it is so hard to do well. even with outsourcing his music, that aspect of the show still sucks. famous and successful children's musician, raffi, is known for his song describing the life of a little white whale, called "baby beluga." it opens with a calm strumming of his guitar, followed by the lyrics, "baby beluga in the deep blue sea/swim so wild and you swim so free/heaven above/sea below/and a little white whale on the go." is it silly and kind of pointless? yes, but the point is that he is captivating children and showing them the fun of listening to music, dancing, singing, and appreciating art. the "excavator song" featured in an episode of blippi about construction vehicles opens with what sounds like a default garageband loop and the flatly sung lyrics, "i'm an excavator/i'm an excavator/hey dirt, see you later/i'm an excavator." i don't feel i have to meticulously analyze the aforementioned lyrics; the stark contrast should speak for itself.

i have a million more criticisms about both blippi specifically and youtube children's content as a whole, but this is already so long and i doubt many people will get this far anyway. it's an issue i was completely apathetic towards until i had my own child and had to wean him off these kinds of junk food shows because i realized the fast-paced visuals and bright colors and repetitive songs/lyrics were putting him in this spaced-out, fugue state, and he thought he could demand this show or that show whenever he wanted. the moment he started regularly yelling things like, "watch! cars!" or "no! click it!" i knew i had to be a lot more invested in the things he watched even if just for entertainment or as a soothing message. i showed him an episode of mr. rogers yesterday and feared it would be too slow to hold his attention, but he was mesmerized, greeting and interacting with mr. rogers verbally, asking me, "what's that?" to different objects on the screen. since purging this low-brow children's entertainment, he has had a noticeable increase in attention span and concentration, can focus on a task for longer amounts of times, is more likely to "read"/look through books without me initiating it, and doesn't throw a fit when the tv/my laptop is off.

i just know that for me, growing up with so much unsupervised internet access definitely led me to real-world pain and consequences, and it seems like now children are born with an iphone as an extension of their arm. if my child is going to be consuming videos, i'm definitely supervising every second and am going to be highly critical of the videos and the credentials (or lack thereof) of the creators and team behind it. but i also know, from pure observation admittedly, that parents letting youtube kids autoplay parent their children for hours at a time is not an uncommon occurrence. and it worries me that a generation of children are being raised on videos that rely on being as loud and bright and superficially enjoyable as possible. what's the use of a child knowing their colors and alphabet if they don't know how to treat people with kindness and empathy and respect? there is something wrong for a children's show host to plug the spelling of his name at the end of his videos ("well, that's the end of this video. but if you wanna watch more of my videos, just type in my name! can you spell my name with me? b-l-i-p-p-i!") after essentially rotting his audiences' brains for a half hour. there's something so insidious about the prioritization of naming different parts of construction vehicles over honest depictions of and conversations about dealing with feelings, or why someone with autism may act differently than you, or what to do when you feel lonely, or ways to make art and express yrself creatively. also, not to mention the blatant police propaganda and outright worship is seriously jarring; as a black mother to a visibly non-white child, i cannot sit there and watch blippi show kids how to be a bootlicker for the shittiest profession on earth, but that could be a whole essay in and of itself.

anyway, thanks for reading, if yr looking for quality children's content, i recommend, in no specific order: mr. rogers, sesame street, the electric company, molly of denali, daniel tiger, bluey!, blue's clues, the odd squad, word party, trash truck, puffin rock, uhh... that's definitely not an extensive list but that's just off the dome!!! ok bye y'all <333

[samwrights]

Pining After You [hc]

Just some Haikyuu!! head cannons about my favorites pining after the object of their affection—you. I’m gonna limit myself to only one Seijoh 3rd year >_> instead, I’m just gonna make Makki’s super long bc love.

I might turn these into one shots. I’m planning a special series to be released for the entire month of May—let me know what you guys think!

Hanamaki;

Ya know, with my last head cannon, I had such a hard time writing for Makki and now that’s all I wanna do.

Cause THIS BOI is too easy-going, too cool, to ever be blunt and up front about his feelings for you. He can’t ruin his image by stumbling over a confession.

Definitely has been in love with you since your guys’ first year—all thanks to your laugh.

Every time he hears you, even if said laugh is occasionally broken with a gentle, genuine snort, Makki feels every single electrical pulse being sent into his nerve endings.

It was a huge part of the reason that he had started owning the class clown trope, cracking jokes with his peers and even the teachers even though that definitely was not kosher. But his almost dry, sarcastic sense of humor always seemed to be rewarded with the angelic gift that was your laughter.

But he doesn’t know how to talk to you. At all.

He tries really hard not to stare at you, or at least tries not to make it super obvious and fails considering you sit on the opposite ends of the classroom

Makki always has lunch in Mattun’s classroom just so he can freely talk about something you did in class that made him laugh or smile, even if it was something stupid like you dropped your pencil or you raised your hand to answer a question.

In your third year, Mattsun is tIRED of it all.

“Just go fucking confess your feelings, I swear to gOD, or I’ll tell her.”

“Dude no, I can’t she’s way outta my league.”

Did I mention Mattsun is over it? So over it that one day, instead of waiting for his best friend to come to his classroom for lunch, he decides to pay yours a visit.

Makki’s freaking out because the fCK was Mattsun walking over to your desk?!

“She’s coming to our tournament this weekend, so bring your A game.” Was all he said before leaving the poor wing spiker to drown in the blood rising up his neck.

You weren’t friends with anyone on the VBC, but you did actually end up at the tournament with a few friends.

Exhilarating was the only way to describe it, up until Seijoh’s loss to Karasuno.

After the team thanked the spectators for watching, you noticed all the third years crying, signifying the end of their careers.

“Thank you for inviting me to watch, Matsukawa. It was really fun.” You said politely, approaching them afterwards.

Mattsun shoves his best friend towards you, “actually, he wanted to invite you. He just didn’t know how.”

Makki.exe has stopped working. He’s too busy spluttering because he literally has no idea what to say to you now. Cool boy? Not even close.

“I’ve actually wanted to come to one of your matches for awhile. I just thought it was weird because I’m not friends with any of you.”

Oh. O H.

“Y-you could’ve asked me...”

“I was hoping you’d ask me. Why do you think I always laugh at your jokes, Hanamaki?”

“Wait, does that mean you don’t think I’m actually funny?” 💀💀💀 Rip.

“I do. You’re funny, talented, handsome, and I’ve liked you since first year.”

Makki.exe has stopped working.

Akaashi;

Akaashi has studied everything he could about you without ever having actually interacted with you.

He knew you were in Bokuto’s class, he knew your name, and that the two of you interacted often, but never outside of the classroom.

He knew that you always carried your school bag over your left shoulder, and tucked your hair behind your right ear when you felt it was in your face.

Your energy somehow matched his best friend’s while simultaneously calming the owl captain like a gentle wave. You reminded Akaashi of the sun rising over the ocean.

Bokuto, oblivious to nearly everything, never realized that his best friend’s calculations went beyond analyzing the ace. One small section of his brain was dedicated to your ass.

Really, there wasn’t anything extraordinary about you, or at least that’s how you felt about yourself. But every time Akaashi swung by Bokuto’s class to walk with him to practice, his eyes were immediately drawn to you for .067 seconds before he’d look away, so as not to make you feel uncomfortable.

Once in a while, Bokuto would let small details about you slip, like how you were in the art club and that you had a showcase coming up displaying the portfolio you had built over the last three years.

He definitely didn’t ditch practice to be there for your showcase.

Showing up to the venue where the showcase was being held, he suddenly felt very under dressed seeing other third years and teachers adorning formal attire while he showed up in black jeans and a grey button up.

Wandering around the venue, Akaashi looked for you or your artwork, his breath held in his lungs when he saw the arsenal of works displayed on large black boards with your name written elegantly at the very top. Made with various mediums, he was stunned by different paintings and drawings of surreal, exquisite landscapes that could not possibly exist.

Then again, he didn’t think you were real either.

One particular painting invoked a strange emotion in him—a large, desecrated shipwreck amongst of field of bright flowers with the sun setting in the back. Titled “Crack The Sky”, the piece emanated joy and grief in one. It was almost as stunning as you were.

“This one’s my favorite.” You announced sheepishly from beside him and he realized he had never heard your voice before. The setter turned to look at you, drinking in your appearance up close for the first time. “You’re Bokuto’s friend, aren’t you? Akaashi?”

He was kinda hurt to hear you mention Bokuto for reasons unknown to himself jealous much?

“Yeah. It’s nice to meet you.” He bows slightly, remember that no matter how infatuated he was with you, you were still his senpai.

He began walking with you as you explained the creation process of your different pieces. Not that he was actually paying attention, though he’d never admit that. He just liked hearing you talk and he would definitely never admit that.

You excuse yourself as your phone rings, though you don’t walk away, allowing him to hear your end of the conversation. “Yep, he’s here. I owe you dinner. You wanna talk to him?” Akaashi cocks a brow in your direction, staring at your cellphone that you’ve now held over to him. Bokuto’s name flashed on the screen.

“Uh, hi?” The setter asked, confused.

“I made a bet with her that you would ditch practice to go to her showcase because yOu LoVe HeR.”

Aight, imma head out.

Before he could run away out of embarrassment, you grabbed his wrist though you were still on the phone with Bokuto.

“Would you like to join us for dinner? Seems kinda unfair for him to get dinner when you’re the one who made the effort to be here.”

Akaashi graciously accepts to which you respond by telling Bokuto where you would meet him for the evening.

“So you love me, huh?” 💀💀💀 If Akaashi could magically disappear, he would. Or even better, if his blush ran hot enough to melt the skin off his face, that’d be great too.

But you never let go of his wrist until now, opting to wrap an arm around his instead.

“I like you too. Why do you think Bokuto and I made a bet about you coming here, silly?”

Kenma;

Poor Kenma. The worst part of his whole situation was actually being friends with you, knowing he would never get to have you.

Why would you want him, anyway? You were more fit for someone like Kuroo—someone who was as boisterous and confident as you were. He anticipated the day you two announced your relationship and left him behind in your little trio.

Not even Kuroo knew that he was in love with you and maybe that was a mistake on his part but he could never tell his best friend that you were his entire world. It was too embarrassing for him.

It took entirely too much energy to even sort through his feelings alone, how much more exhausting would it be for him to run through every single thing he felt about you to someone else?

Like the way you would nearly skip out your home every morning when the boys came to fetch you to walk to school together.

Or the way you unabashedly asked almost too personal of questions, or questions that were just soooo left field of you were friends with a person. “Hey Kuroo, how many brushes do you think you would break if you finally decided to brush your hair after 17 years?” Was one of Kenma’s favorites.

The way you sing along to every song that plays on your iPod or even the radio, even if you didn’t know the song, you would try to sing along anyway.

Some days, Kenma would look out the window and see you practicing some form of a dance routine in your backyard. He would watch you for hours until you went inside, suddenly feeling shame for being so creepy.

Nearly every night, Kenma just wished he could turn his feelings off while simultaneously wishing you were next to him so he could hold you while he slept.

Your smile was his favorite. Seeing you smile every morning as the three of you walked to school together was what got him through his day. “Hey, hey are you guys coming to my dance competition tomorrow?” You asked in your typical, jovial lilt.

“Of course.” Was all he was able to reply, while Kuroo enthusiastically responded about their attendance.

“Great! I can’t wait to see you guys in the crowd!”

The “C” word, was almost enough to make Kenna regret his decision to come. Even more so when he was surrounded by the masses, all waiting to watch their respective dance teams. But it was for you, and he would do anything for you.

Kuroo was right beside him, a small bouquet of roses in his hand to give to you after you competed. The blood red flowers made Kenna glower and glare in secret, or as secretive as he could be. “I got these for you.” The captain says quietly, handing them over to his best friend.

“Sorry, Kuroo, I can’t say I return your feelings—“

“For you to give to her, you idiot.” 🤡🤡🤡 “I’m not that dumb, Kenma.” The setter really wanted to argue and say that he was, but your school’s dance team was up to perform so he opted to stay quiet.

Have I mentioned that Kenma loves watching you dance? There was a reason he would watch you practice in your backyard. You moved with elegance and grace that was foreign and so opposite to his own demeanor, it was no wonder he was always so captivated by you.

After you compete, there’s a bit of downtime between the other competitors and the awards ceremony, giving you the chance to hang out with your besties.

“These are for you.” The second year says quietly, handing you the bouquet with a blush dusting over his cheeks. The red rivaled that of the roses.

“Aw, thank you, Kenma!” You squeaked out before giving him a kiss on the cheek, his skin burning even hotter. Kuroo’s just over there laughing but ya know.

During the awards ceremony, you’re sitting in a circle with your team not too far from your friends while they announced that Nekoma had taken first. Everyone in the dance troupe began screaming and hugging each other, while you ran straight to your boys.

While still jumping, you were hugging Kuroo so tight, arms squeezing around his neck while sharing the joy. Which made Kenma just a little bit jealous.

Just a little.

Until you’ve settled down from your jumping before wrapping your arms his neck as well. But rather than going for a hug—

Wait what is hAPOENING

You brought your lips to his briefly before burying your face into his neck out of embarrassment because wHY you had thought that was a good idea was beyond you.

Deciding you couldn’t just keep holding onto him, because he was probably embarrassed too, you stepped away, ready to run back to your team. But Kenma didn’t let go, his arms seated securely at your hips as he stared at you.

“I-I’m sorry, I-I don’t know w-w—“

“I love you.”

Wanna see a specific character? Or a different head cannon? Want to see a whole story?

Send in requests!

[spidermecc]

Unintentional love (Elu fake dating AU) Ch. 6 - Finally

Halla mecs! Chapter 6 is ready, I’m sorry for the long wait, but I hope the fact that it’s almost 6k will make up for it.  Read it on AO3 here. And please feel free to send me your thoughts and comments, I love to read them and talk to you guys, enjoy!

Surprisingly, Lucas had slept through the entire night like a baby. He’d been convinced that he wouldn’t get a single minute of sleep, seeing as he kept replaying that night, at the park with Eliott, over and over in his head. But apparently you can replay something in your head so much that your brain literally says fuck you and shuts off, good to know.

“Juu-hu is anyone home?” Mika was waving his hand in front of Lucas. “I’m telling you Manon, ever since he got a boyfriend, he’s like this all the time” he continued, giving up on trying to get Lucas’ attention, shifting his attention back to his dinner, which Manon, bless her, had cooked for them.

Although she’d moved next door almost two months ago, finally giving Lucas his room back, she was a frequent visitor, and they ate dinner together almost five nights a week. It was almost like a family tradition by now. Lisa wasn’t home, which was odd, but Mika only rolled his eyes and said something about her going to yoga class because she saw some TV-show about how it changes your life.

“I think it’s endearing” Manon said beaming, looking at Lucas with a genuine smile, as she grabbed the last piece of bread from the basket.

“Huh?” Lucas said, as if finally coming out of his trance. Okay so he might have been thinking about last night again, so what of it?

“Huh?” Mika mocked him “Manon only just told us she’s pregnant you imbecile”.

“What?!” he exclaimed, finally focusing his attention on Manon, eyeing her stomach.

“Mika shut up” she said throwing her piece of bread at him,

“No I’m not Lucas, we’re just talking about how happy we are for you and Eliott. I’ve never seen you like this before” she continued, claiming her bread back from Mika, who’d already started nibbling at it like a baby bird.

“Oh, yeah thanks, it’s no big deal really” he said, hoping they’d leave it at that. He hadn’t talked to Mika and Manon about Eliott as much as he had with the boys. Although he hated lying to the boys, it was different with Mika and Manon, it was almost physically impossible for him to lie to them, they always figured him out, which was a pain in the ass, to be honest.

“I think it is a big deal” Manon said, still smiling from ear to ear “but it’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it” she finished. Fuck he hates lying to them so damn much.

“Just remember to use a condom and I have a butt plug, which I haven’t used, that you can have if you want to get freaky” Mika winked, earning him a slap on the arm from Manon.

“Ow that hurt! I’m just trying to help our baby” he exclaimed, a laugh escaping him.

Lucas took that as his que to get up and go to his room. He was definitely not going to have this conversation with Mika, or anyone for that matter. Nope, no thank you.  __

The rest of the week had gone by uneventfully. It had basically just been school, homework, sleep and repeat for almost a week now. He barely saw the guys and he only saw Eliott at school.

Sometimes they’d sneak out and have lunch alone, other times they’d eat with the guys. Eliott had asked him if he wanted to hang out on the weekend, but being so behind on all his homework he’d had to decline. Looking back, he should have just accepted the offer, seeing as he didn’t get any homework done during the weekend, too busy kicking himself for saying no to Eliott, and imagining what he was up to at any given moment.

“Lucas!” Daphne was running up to him in the hallway. He hadn’t actually spoken to her since the foyer meeting. He’d neglected the girls for a while, because of the whole thing with Eliott, and he felt pretty bad about it. But Daphné was the nosiest person he knew, and dealing with daily interrogations by the gang was tiring enough.

“Hi Daphy” he greeted her with a kiss on each cheek. He’d missed her, more than he cared to admit.

“Are you guys coming to Emma’s party on Friday?”  she asked, not even bothering to ask him how he’d been. Straight to the point, that was Daphné alright.

“Uhm, Basile and Arthur mentioned something, so I think the guys are coming, yeah” he said, losing interest in the conversation quickly, as he saw Eliott walk out of a classroom. Gosh, he really was the single most beautiful thing Lucas had ever laid his eyes on. He’d started noticing small details about him that he hadn’t noticed before. Like how his nose scrunched whenever he laughed. The real hearty laughs, which made Lucas’ heart melt. And how he sort of bounced when walked, especially when he was excited, which seemed to be most of the time.

He’d actually mentioned it to Eliott at some point, telling him that his spirit animal should have been a bunny instead of a raccoon, because of the way he always jumped around when he was excited. It had made Eliott laugh, and he’d said “maybe I’m a bunny in a parallel universe?”, which made Lucas blush like crazy, because Eliott’s casual reference to the parallel universes made Lucas feel like they shared something special, something personal just between the two of them.

“I meant you and Eliott, silly!” Daphné laughed, nudging his shoulder “we’re all dying to meet him, and what better way than at a party?”

“Oh, uhm- I’m not sure, I mean I can ask him, but I can’t make any promises”

“Oh Lucas, if you’re coming then he’s definitely coming, it’s not like he’s going to leave his boyfriend alone at a party with drunk attractive people right? Not that anyone is as attractive as he is, I mean wow Lucas, you really hit jackpot there, he looks like a Greek God” she added as an afterthought, blushing when she saw Lucas’ frown.

“I’ll ask Daphy, okay?” he said, suddenly itching to get away from her, “later” he added as he rushed past her, and after Eliott out to the courtyard, where he was sitting, smoking a cigarette by himself.

Lucas had never been a smoker. Sure he smoked weed, but not real cigarettes. The taste and smell always made him nauseous, but holy shit, it was a completely different story when Eliott did it. The way Eliott held the cigarette between his elegant index- and middle finger, made Lucas wish he was the damn cigarette. And don’t even get him started on how mind-blowingly hot he looked whenever he let out a drag. The way he slightly parted his lips as he let the smoke escape them, before he started blowing it out, always left Lucas’ mouth dry. He’d made a habit of not looking at Eliott whenever he smoked, afraid he might get a hard-on right then and there.

“Hey you” he said softly, taking a seat next to Eliott.

“Hey -- babe” Eliott answered, clearly happy to see Lucas “should I start giving you a kiss when I see you at school.. you know to make it more believable?” he added, knowing full well, how to make Lucas blush. Putain, he’d been here for about 10 seconds and Eliott was already going in for the kill, this boy was definitely going to be the death of him.

“Uhm..” Lucas answered looking around the nearly empty courtyard “I think we’re good for now”.

“Suit yourself” he said, taking another drag of his cigarette. Lucas was trying really hard not to look at Eliott, knowing full well that he wasn’t the best at masking his emotions, and Eliott was scarily perceptive, no need to let him know how much his smoking affected Lucas.

“So I actually wanted to ask you something” he said, still not looking at the taller boy.

“Sure, shoot”

“I’m doing an essay in my literature class, and I don’t understand shit. You’re a literature student, so I thought maybe you could help me out?” he said finally looking at Eliott. Honestly, he really needed Eliott to say yes. He was the only person he knew who was actually good at literature, plus he wouldn’t mind spending some time alone with him.

“Well if I can’t help my boyfriend with his homework, then who can I help?” he joked, nudging Lucas’ shoulder. “After school, your place?”

“Yeah sure, thanks a lot Eliott, you’re a lifesaver.”

“No worries” he beamed, putting out his cigarette and getting up “I’m late for class, but I’ll see you later!”

“See you!” Lucas said a little too enthusiastically, immediately blushing, which he was pretty sure hadn’t gone unnoticed, judging by the shit eating grin on Eliott’s face as he was walking away. __

“I don’t understand shit” Lucas sighed throwing his book on the table “what are the cigarettes supposed to be a symbol of? I mean they’re just fucking cigarettes” he continued, trying not to dwell too much on how cigarettes weren’t in fact just cigarettes anymore. At least not for him, not after Eliott had made it his personal mission to look so damn hot every time he smoked one.

They were sitting in the living room, books sprawled all over the place and empty soda cans on the table. Lucas wasn’t sure how long they’d spent trying to analyze this damn novel, but he didn’t quite mind it that much, not when Eliott was there to help him.

“It’s a phallic symbol” Eliott laughed, clearly amused by Lucas’ inability to interpret literature.

“A what?” he asked, looking up.

“A phallic symbol” he repeated, as if repeating the words would somehow make Lucas understand what he was talking about.

“A phallic symbol is an object, cigarettes in this case, that represents a penis” he said nonchalant, while scribbling something down in his notebook.

And holy shit, Lucas was not prepared for that. Not only had he been thinking about how fucking hot Eliott looked every time he smoked a cigarette and now he wouldn’t be able to get the whole dick image out of his head whenever he thought about it. He made a mental note, and swore that he would never ever look him in the eye, when he was smoking, ever again.

“Uhm--- I can’t quite figure out if you’re fucking with me right now or” Lucas said, not sure if this was another one of Eliott’s dumbass jokes or if he was being sincere, because if he was then.. holy shit.

Eliott looked up at him and cocked an eyebrow, not answering his question but continued explaining; “You know, some people even go as far as to say that Cinderella putting her foot into the glass slipper is also a phallic symbol”.

“Who said romance was dead” Lucas mumbled, to himself, not quite ready to look at Eliott, knowing full well that his facial expression would give him away.

Eliott chuckled and nudged Lucas, making him look up and catch his gaze “I happen to find dicks very romantic” he said obviously trying to make Lucas squirm in his seat, even more than he already was.

Okay Lucas wasn’t going to have this conversation with Eliott. Enough dick-talk for one day.

“Funny” he said as he got up, desperate to get some space between Eliott and himself and definitely desperate to end the conversation.

“Anyway” he began, busying himself with gathering the empty soda cans “Emma’s throwing a party Friday, and the girls asked me to invite you”.

“Well that depends” Eliott said, desperately trying to get Lucas to stand still so they could have a proper conversation.

Lucas put the empty cans in a plastic bag in the kitchen and returned to his spot next to Eliott “on what?” he asked, eyeing him suspiciously. He’d gotten used to Eliott’s cryptic answers, but that didn’t mean that they had gotten less annoying. Sure, Lucas wasn’t the best at being straightforward all the time, but with Eliott it was like it was an actual personality trait to drag everything out and make Lucas squirm in the process. Lucas was starting to believe that Eliott actually enjoyed torturing him, he wouldn’t put it past him. It’s always the pretty ones that are the craziest he thought.

“Will you be there?” he asked, raising his eyebrows.

“I uh- yeah I meant like, we could go together” Lucas answered, honestly puzzled that Eliott hadn’t gotten that part “unless you don’t want me to come?” he added hastily. Maybe Eliott had gotten tired of hanging out with him all the time? He wouldn’t blame him, Lucas got tired of his own company way too often as well.

The taller boy’s face scrunched up in the cutest laughter and Lucas contemplated taking a quick photo of him in secret, just to keep him company when this thing with Eliott was over.

His laughter was one of Lucas’ favorite things about the boy. Whenever Lucas looked at him, he felt like he was looking at some unhuman God-like creature. But when Eliott laughed, he looked so human, so sweet and honest and it always brought Lucas down to Earth. It reminded him that he was human just like Lucas, and Yann and Arthur and, well maybe not Basile, seeing as he lacked one too many brain cells to be considered human. But no one had a laughter quite like Eliott. It was like his laughter and mere presence could light up and entire room, an entire house even. Lucas would have given up any other sources of light forever, if only he could continue watching Eliott smile like that.

“Why would I want to go if you aren’t there?” Eliott laughed, looking at Lucas as if it was the silliest thing he’d ever heard, and Lucas was pretty sure his heart swelled up three sizes. Eliott wouldn’t want to go without him. Ditto, Lucas thought to himself, but decided to play it cool.

“Then it’s settled, were going” he said, flashing Eliott a bright smile “but first, I need to finish this essay”.

“You know, you say ‘I need to finish’, but I feel like I’m doing all the work” Eliott joked, gently shoving Lucas’ shoulder.

“You are not! You’re too busy talking about dicks” Lucas exclaimed, honestly feeling like he’d participated in writing the essay, although if he was being honest, it was mainly him complaining, while Eliott wrote the actual thing.

“What can I say” Eliott chuckled, clearly amused by the expression on Lucas’ face “I like literature.. and I like dicks” – he was full on staring at Lucas, not flinching for a second as he finished the sentence, as if they were merely talking about the weather.

“Oooookay playboy” Lucas managed to croak out, feeling a blush rising “let’s just get this over with yeah?”

Eliott chuckled, clearly getting the hint that Lucas wasn’t comfortable with their conversation, as he grabbed the laptop and started typing away. __

“So , you’re dating Eliott, huh?” Imane asked, casually, while grabbing her books from her backpack. It was Friday and Biology was their last class before the weekend. It had been a long week with multiple essays to write and shitloads of homework, and Lucas really looked forward to letting out some steam at the party tonight. Moreover, he was excited to see Eliott, he hadn’t seen him since Tuesday when he’d helped him out with his essay.

“Yeah, why? Do you know him?” Lucas asked, eyeing her. Imane wasn’t usually the gossiping type, so for her to bring up Eliott seemed suspicious.

“Mhm” she said, scribbling something in her notebook “he was friends with my brother, Idriss” she continued nonchalantly.

“Oh yeah?"

Lucas knew that Eliott knew Idriss. That guy, Curtis, had told him so, but he didn’t know that they’d been so close, that Eliott knew Imane as well.

“How is he?” she asked, a smile appearing on her lips. She sounded almost as if she missed him.

“He’s good I guess?” Lucas answered quizzically.

Why didn’t Imane just talk to him herself, he thought, as he continued; “When you say ‘were’ friends, what does that mean exactly?” he asked, hoping to get some more information out of her. After all, she’d been the one to bring it up.

“It means that they’re not anymore” she deadpanned, looking at him as if he’d fallen off the moon.

Lucas rolled his eyes, why did she always have to be so damn difficult?

“But why aren’t they talking anymore?” he asked, desperate for some more intel on the mystery that was Eliott Demaury.

“Shit I don’t know Lucas ask him yourself” she snapped “I was just wondering how he was doing, I haven’t seen him in ages” she continued, clearly regretting bringing him up in the first place.

Before Lucas could pry further, their teacher walked in, and Imane busied herself with getting all her notes ready, and Lucas knew better than to push her when she wasn’t feeling like talking, so he let it go.. for now.

30 minutes later he felt his phone buzz in his pocket and he took it out, hiding it under the table so his teacher didn’t notice.

Eliott: Do you think in a parallel universe, school isn’t a hell hole?

Lucas let out a snort, which he quickly tried to mask as a cough, clearly failing judging by the look Imane shot him.

Lucas: Maybe.. You might even be a professor in a parallel universe

Eliott: Ooh, that would be cool. I think you’d be my favorite student ;)

Lucas couldn’t contain the smile that was forming on his lips.

Lucas:  I doubt I’ll ever be anyone’s favorite student, in any universe.. ever

Eliott: I wouldn’t be so sure

Lucas: Professor Demaury.. Doesn’t sound so bad

Eliott: Sounds pretty hot, if you ask me

Lucas was pretty sure that if anyone looked at him right now, they’d think he’d won the lottery or something.

Eliott: So what time will my favorite student be at the party tonight? Maybe we can meet up a few blocks away, like last time?

Lucas: You’re a dork

Lucas: But I’d like that.. say 8 o’clock?

Eliott: It’s a date

Eliott: Woah I just got a major deja-vu

No shit, Lucas thought to himself as the bell rang and he began collecting his books. Hopefully tonight’s party would be different than the last one though. ___

“So, have you heard from Chloe since the bus stop incident?” Eliott asked. They’d been walking for about 10 minutes, neither one of them in a particular hurry to reach Emma’s house. Both enjoying each other’s company.

“No, I think she’s really pissed at me” Lucas shrugged. If he was being honest, he really didn’t care whether or not Chloe was upset with him.

“Can I ask you a question?” Eliot asked, fiddling with the sleeve of his jacket. If Lucas didn’t know any better, he’d almost say that he looked nervous.

“Sure”

“Why did you kiss her, if you don’t like her?” he finally asked, eyeing Lucas.

“How do you know I kissed her? I never said that” he was genuinely puzzled by Eliott’s sudden question.

“I just assumed.. you know, because she seemed so into you and wanted to go out on a date. I just figured you’d hooked up a few times” he continued.

“Right” Lucas sighed “I don’t know actually… boredom maybe?” he flinched at his own response. He sounded like a real asshole right now and he knew it, but it was better than telling Eliott the truth. That he was a coward.

“Did you have sex with her?” the taller boy asked, taking Lucas by surprise once again.

“No I never had sex with her, I wouldn’t do that” he answered honestly, desperate for Eliott to know that he’d never use anyone like that.

“Good” Eliott sighed, and when Lucas caught his eye he saw something resembling relief washing over Eliott’s face.

“So, uhm- have you talked to you ex- uh, Lucille, since the last party?”

He’d been dying to know ever since he’d found out about her, but had been too afraid to ask and invade Eliott’s personal space. But seeing as they were doing this, he might as well ask, no better time than now.

Eliott looked down at Lucas, a sad smile forming on his lips, “A few times yeah “she has a hard time letting go, and I don’t want to hurt her feelings more than I already have” he said, his face falling.

“Oh..” Lucas answered, not sure what he was supposed to say. He was dying to know more. How often had he spoken to her? Had he met up with her or had they talked over the phone? And more importantly, did he still have feelings for her? But he settled with an easier question; “Why did you break up?”

“Honestly, it had been a long time coming, we’d been together for four years, but I think we fell out of love, long before we actually broke up”. His voice was so raw and honest, and Lucas felt honored that Eliott trusted him enough to be so open with him.

“So uh- do you see yourself in a relationship, with a new girl, soon then?” he asked, trying not to sound too obvious “I mean, when we end.. this” he trailed off, not sure whether he really wanted to know the answer to his question.

“Sure, I like being in a relationship” Eliott said a smile playing on his lips “not necessarily a girl though” he added, and Lucas felt a sudden shift in the atmosphere. The usual easy air around them had been replaced with something thick, something Lucas couldn’t quite put his finger on. Was Eliott saying, what he Lucas thought he was saying? Before he could formulate a response he looked up and realized that they’d reached Emma’s place.

“We’re here” he said, and Eliott looked almost disappointed in Lucas’ lack of response to his earlier comment.

“Let’s go then” he said, letting Lucas off the hook, as he rang the doorbell. __

It didn’t take long for Daphné to find the boys at the party. They’d only just opened their first beer, catching up with the Yann, Arthur and Basile, when she came up and almost pushed Lucas into the kitchen counter.

“Hi, I’m Daphné, so nice to finally meet you” she said, offering her hand to Eliott, who shook it with a crooked smile.

“I’m Eliott, I’ve heard a lot about you” he said.

Lucas was pretty sure he’d mentioned Daphné maybe once, but still he appreciated Eliott’s effort to make her feel good about herself.

“I can’t believe you guys are actually boyfriends” she beamed “an absolute power couple” she said, eyeing both of them. Lucas was pretty sure she was checking Eliott out, but he couldn’t even be bothered to call her out. He couldn’t really blame her, Eliott was very check-out-able and Lucas also found himself checking him out more often than not.

“Oh yeah?” Eliott said raising an eyebrow, not looking very convinced by her statement.

“You know who else could be a power couple?” Basile said, stepping in front of Eliott in order to get Daphné’s attention.

She rolled her eyes, clearly annoyed that he was interrupting her conversation with Eliott, but Lucas was pretty sure he saw something resembling relief washing over Eliott’s face. Guess he didn’t buy the whole power couple thing, huh.

She didn’t even give him an answer, she simply smiled at Eliott and Lucas and left, leaving a trail of her cherry perfume lingering in the air.  

“Shit.. Was that too desperate?” Basile asked, turning around and addressing Eliott, who put a reassuring arm around the curly haired boy.

“You know what I think?” he asked, looking down at Basile, who nodded fiercely.

Eliott had become some kind of weird role model/guru for Basile. He was always talking about Eliott when he wasn’t there, and in the beginning Lucas had been worried that Basile was annoying Eliott, who was just too nice to tell him so. But lately he was beginning to think that he really cared for Basile. He was always reassuring the boy, giving him pep-talks and putting a protective arm around him whenever the gang was roasting him (which was pretty much all the time). It warmed Lucas’ heart that Eliott had grown so fond of his friends, although the nagging feeling in the back of his mind, never really left him. It would break everyone’s heart when they found out the truth.. Including Lucas’. He’d grown way too used to having Eliott around, a constant reassuring and warm presence, that he didn’t know how he was going to live without.

“I think you need to take desperate to a whole new level. Show her just how desperate you can be” Eliott continued.

“What the fuck kind of advice is that?” Lucas laughed, not being able to stay out of the conversation.

“It worked with you, didn’t it?” Eliott answered, giving Lucas a coy smile, that had him blushing instantly.

“Is that what you did with Lucas?” Basile asked, still looking at Eliott like a lost puppy.

“Let’s just say I didn’t give him much of a choice in the matter” Eliott winked, still not taking his eyes off Lucas, who was pretty sure that if the brunette didn’t stop looking at him like that, he would pass out right then and there.

“Fuck it, I’m gonna try again” Basile exclaimed, giving Eliott a fist bump and walking out of the kitchen.

“Oh my God, I have to see this” Arthur giggled, running after him, and Yann just shrugged with an amused expression and followed them.

“Taking desperate to a whole new level, huh?” Lucas teased, inching closer to Eliott, but still leaving an appropriate amount of space between them.

“Desperate times calls for desperate measures, I would know” Eliott laughed, and Lucas wasn’t sure if Eliott was saying what he thought he was saying, but couldn’t get himself to ask.

“You know, Imane asked about you today”. The whole thing had been nagging him all day, and he really hoped that he would get something out of Eliott. He didn’t want to pry or nag him, but he was just so damn curious. So he tried to act nonchalant, as if he was simply making conversation “I think she might miss you” he added truthfully.

“Oh yeah?” Eliott said, a small smile playing on his lips “I miss her too, she’s a great girl”.

“How do you guys know each other?” he asked, trying really hard to sound casual.

He regretted his question instantly, when he saw how Eliott’s face dropped. He looked uncomfortable and slightly sad, which made Lucas want to inch even closer and comfort him in some way.

“Uh- I was eh..” he mumbled, suddenly very interested in the label on his beer bottle “I used to be friends with her brother Idriss, but we don’t really talk anymore” he finished, taking a big swig of his beer.

Lucas didn’t get the chance to respond before Eliott excused himself, saying that he needed to use the restroom, leaving Lucas alone in the kitchen and feeling like an asshole. Okay so he obviously shouldn’t have asked, seeing as it was a very touchy subject for Eliott, but still, he couldn’t help it when he felt his curiosity grow. What the hell was the deal between Idriss and Eliott?

“Fancy seeing you here” a voice interrupted Lucas’ inner struggle on how to solve the mystery. He looked up and was faced with a handsome blonde guy. Curtis.

“Oh, hi” he said, smiling at him. Gosh, he was really tall, had he grown since the last time they talked, or had Lucas really just been so wasted that he hadn’t noticed? He silently patted himself on the shoulder for not getting too drunk tonight.

“How are you?” the blonde asked, inching closer to Lucas, closer than what Lucas had deemed appropriate earlier when he had been with Eliott.

“I’m good, just hanging out you know. How about you?” he asked. He’d never been a fan of small talk and honestly this guy was standing a bit too close, and was a bit too desperate for Lucas’ liking. Plus, he was too busy thinking of how he was going to find out what happened between Idriss and Eliott, to fully pay attention to Curtis, when something clicked. Curtis was friends with Idriss. Maybe he could help him out, he thought as he decided that he’d try to be polite towards Cutis and see if he could get some intel out of him.

“Right, I’m good as well” he answered, and Lucas wasn’t sure if he was imagining things or if the guy actually looked nervous. “I was uh- I was hoping to see you tonight” he continued, blushing a bit, and Lucas suddenly felt even more tense than before.  

“Yeah uh- you too” Lucas answered, hoping that if he just pretended to be oblivious, he would somehow be able to get out of the situation.

“Are you and Eliott still ‘dating’?” he asked, inching even closer to Lucas, who was really starting to get uncomfortable.

“Yeah, we are” he said, trying to create some space between himself and Curtis, but realizing that he was pushed into a corner and couldn’t really move further away.

“I can’t wait until you guys are finished with your act” he said, grabbing Lucas’ hand, taking him by surprise “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you, and I was so happy when you agreed to go out with me” he continued.

Before Lucas could react and pull his hand away, he looked up and saw Eliott standing at the kitchen entrance. Lucas had never seen that expression on Eliott’s face before. A mix of betrayal, hurt and anger was playing on his face. Lucas practically felt his own heart break just by looking at the other boy. He’d never wanted to invoke those feelings in anyone, especially not Eliott.

“I-“ Lucas began, as he pulled his hand away, desperate to make Eliott understand that he’d misunderstood the situation. But he didn’t get a chance to say anything as Eliott quickly turned around and stormed out.

“Putain” Lucas hissed, looking up at a confused Curtis “I think you misunderstood the situation” he told the blonde “I was drunk and I’m- I’m not really interested in going out with you, I’m sorry” he said as he put his beer on the kitchen counter and practically ran out of the kitchen, trying to catch up with Eliott, who had already grabbed his coat and was on his way out of the apartment.

“Eliott!” he yelled, running after him, struggling with keeping up with the taller boy, who didn’t turn around and stormed out of the apartment.

Lucas grabbed his coat and ran after him. When he got outside he saw Eliott stomping away, and he started running, trying to catch up with him, cursing his short legs.

“Eliott! Please just fucking stop so I can explain” he yelled. He was full on running now, as he finally caught up with him, grabbing his arm, making the taller boy turn around.

“What?!” Eliott spat, not looking Lucas in the eyes.

“That- it..” he began, not sure what exactly he was trying to say. The look on Eliott’s face threw him completely off guard. He’d never thought that he would react that way, and he silently cursed himself for having hurt Eliott like that, for being so fucking oblivious.

“That wasn’t what it looked like” he cried out.

“So you didn’t agree to go out with Curtis?” he asked with a painful expression.

“I- yes I did” he began, grabbing Eliott’s arm a bit harder, making sure he wouldn’t run away again.

“But I was drunk and it was at that party where I thought you bailed on me with Lucille” he explained, hoping whatever he was saying was making sense.

“It was before…” he cut himself off. Before I fell in love with you. If he was as brave as he wished he was, he would have said those words out loud, but he wasn’t.

“You know what Lucas? It’s fine. Let’s just drop this- this act. You can go on with your life and date whoever you want, without me inconveniencing you” he said, tears welling up and threatening to spill.

“What no?! I don’t want that” Lucas cried, desperate to make Eliott stay.

“Please I…” he was frantically searching his brain for the right words. Words that would make Eliott stay, but he couldn’t come up with any.

He felt Eliott slowly easing out of his grip, and he was full on desperate now. He had to make him stay, make him understand.

Eliott shook his head with a defeated look and turned around.

Before Lucas even had a chance to think, he took a few steps forward grabbing Eliott’s arm again and turned him around, cupped his face and smashed their lips together.

Lucas knew he’d taken him by surprise, because it took several seconds before the taller boy responded to the kiss. For a second Lucas panicked, afraid that Eliott didn’t want to kiss him. Afraid that Lucas had misunderstood the whole thing. But soon Eliott parted his lips, letting Lucas taste him. It was messy and sloppy and they were both panting desperately into each other’s mouths, trying to convey every emotion they weren’t able to do with words. Eliott snaked an arm around Lucas’ neck, gently tucking his hair, making Lucas moan into the kiss. The stubble on Eliott’s face burned Lucas’ chin, but he didn’t care, because it felt like heaven and complete and absolute bliss. Lucas could feel Eliott grinning which made their teeth clatter together and soon they were laughing and smiling into each other’s mouths more than they were actually kissing. But still, it was everything Lucas had ever dreamt of, better even. The softness of Eliott's lips combined with the roughness of his stubbles and his firm grip on Lucas, had him clinging on to Eliott like crazy, afraid that he might pass out from the complete ecstasy he was feeling.  

After what might have been seconds or hours, Lucas wasn’t sure, they pulled away, both laughing like crazy, giving each other small pecks between laughter and giggles.

Eliott had the widest grin plastered on his face and Lucas was pretty sure that his lips would split if he smiled any wider. The taller boy still had his arm around Lucas’ neck as he pulled him into a bone crushing hug, which Lucas gladly welcomed. He took advantage of the fact that his mouth was perfectly aligned with Eliott's neck, giving him small pecks and kisses.

“Finally” Eliott whispered, and Lucas wasn’t sure if he even meant to say it out loud.

“Finally” he whispered back, grabbing on to Eliott for dear life.

[herstarburststories]

You've lost your pain, congrats! ✘ Savitar/Evil!Barry Imagine ✘

✘ A/N: I REALLY took my time while I was writing this one, I’m sorry! Well, I gotta say it is kind of a little more special, I ended up getting friends with the one who requested it! Hope you like it, dear.

Beta: @lyss-91

✘ @enafaolan​ requested: Hello ! I've just found your tumblr yesterday but since you ask, can I request an imagine where the reader is part of team flash and secretly takes pity on Savitar when she learns the truth about him. So when Barry "accidentally" loses his memories (episode 21), she decides to go check on Savitar and finds him lost but as carefree as Barry. She stays with him while the others are trying to figure out a way to restore Barry's memories (because honestly, Savitar amnesic and alone why didn't we get to see that ?) She still there when he get his speed back. And when he finally recover his memories, he doesn't let her know at once because he enjoyed her company. x) I don't know if this is good and clear enough (english isn't my first language) but you'd be amazing if you could do this !

Our memories are stored in our brains, such as feelings, thoughts, other actions and emotions. That's the simplest way of saying that the brain keeps everything in order. Some even come to believe there is inside this little gray box where our soul is.

On the other hand, some people believe that our souls keeps our feelings, like a mother receiving a gift on Mother's day; she never lets go, no matter how ugly or bad it is. Our brain only gets the sporadic, exact, chemical, technical part. This part can easily be deleted in unexpected situations. Like a trauma.

This was the case of Barry Allen and his time remnant, Savitar. No surname, like God or Beyonce.

While The Flash, her friend and ex boyfriend, was being welcomed by everyone in that room, she couldn't help her mind to stay sane, letting herself get lost in an insanity lapse and finding her thoughts leading her to wonder if Savitar was alright.

Because Killer Frost surely wasn't the warmest company around, and if Barry was so confused and scared, even when he was surronded by people who cared about him, how would Savitar be?

Sighing, her (Y/E/C) eyes followed her teams steps out of the place. She listened carefully while their boss, Iris, ordened softly, but seriously: the plan was taking Barry to CCPD with Joe while Julian, Cisco and you tried to find way to fix what they had broken.

The girl with (Y/H/C) hair did not risk it asking the boss if they thought that Savitar was good, it'd be just a waste of time, and honestly, Julian probably would try to intern her fom such a stupid question.

(Y/N) herself was doubting her sanity.

You tried really hard to pay attention to whatever Julian and Cisco were arguing about, or even give them any creative idea that could help. Holy crap, even search on Google for idea on how to get a memory back. But it was as impossible as a man who runs as fast as the light's speed. Rolling her eyes at her own silly inside joke, she snorted in pure frustation. The reason why she couldn't focus her mind was pretty clear and was deeply annoying her, why the fuck was she caring so much about a killer?

Okay, time for a break. She was not being of any help here, not with that mentality.

''Guys, I'll buy some coffee.'' She announced casually, getting some murmurs and a happy shout from HR in response.

(Y/N) almost felt bad for not sharing her mind with the boys. Almost. Her heart was kind of too busy by feeling sad for Savitar. Anyway, she grabbed her faux fur coat and left.

But for being a Team Flash member, of course something bad had to happen before she was even able to put her foot outside the building.

''Hello, (Y/N).'' Killer Frost smiled malicioiusly, and the remember of a friend made you smile sadly instead of running away. She has had a lot of chances to kill you and haven't done it, Caitlin would never make you use her new name, or so you hoped.

She wasn’t like Savitar.

''What do you want, Caitlin?'' Your voice was low, tired. The sadistic games which your mind was preaching on you were enough for today, she didn't need Caitlin's personality disorder playing around.

''That's not my name.'' The white-haired girl growled, taking a step foward. Subtly, the weather around you both got considerably colder. You swallowed for the abrupt change of behavior, not for fear.

''Why are you here?'' (Y/N) asked directly, her eyebrows furrowed in curiosity.

''Savitar.'' Frost explained with some unnecessarily mean remarks, about the situation of which the self-tiltled god of speed was found. ''But I'd suppose that you know it already.''

''Take me to him.'' Before she could deny you, you kept going. ''You know you need to help Cisco to find a way to reverse it, he can't do it by himself. And both Savitar and Barry are guys that are extremely powerful and defenseless right now. Barry has his fianceé, yet Savitar is alone in some dark place. If anything, I will be the one taking the risk once he is awake, so what's the matter for you?''

The next thing you knew was darkness.

Xxx

So here you were: waking up on a watery floor. Not cool, Frost.

Savitar was also here, wearing his suit in a catatonic state. Only hanging on there, apparently staring at you.

''Savitar.''

''Who are you?'' The monstrous voice from Iris West and Barry Allen's lastest nightmares asked in a not friendly tone. Slowly getting you, you decided to try Iris' trick.

''I'm (Y/N). You know me.'' You said cautiously, taking out your phone that was resting in your pocket.

''I don-''

''I know you don't remember. But it's true. I-'' Quickly, still without using any inhuman velocity, Savitar grabbed your shoulders and threw you against a wall. Your heart raced in terror, but you weren't going to give up now; It was just you and him.

''How do I know you are not lying?'' His voice almost robotic sounded again when your trembling hand finally reached your phone.

''I-I've got pictures.'' You unlocked your cellphone as fast as you could with a swip up, showing him some old pictures in the gallery from when you and Barry used to date. No kissing photos or anything that could bring questions, though. ''See? I won't hurt you, I promise.''

The tight grip of him softened, and you could let your breath which you haven't even noticed that you were holding; your back leaving the wall as Savitar recoiled.

''Get out of your armor, please.''

And he did.

He finally did.

As Savitar get ride of the horrid methal, (Y/N) wondered if his first instinct was violence when Barry's one was confusion. Perhaps it's justification was the same of the reason which Barry asked about Iris' ring and trusted her so easily. His subconscious knew it.

''I don't remember anything.'' For the first time since Savitar showed up, his voice seemed as fragile as his body outside the armor. ''Not even my own name.''

''I know. You are experiencing a temporary memory loss.'' You were as as succinct as possible, and he seemed to be trying to get his mind around what seemed to be an explanation of Albert Einstein's advanced theoretical physics to a layman.

''Who am I?''

''You’re Savitar.'' You walked in his direction calmly, not knowing what reaction to expect.

Fortunately, he did not try to pull away when you got beside him.

''It doesn't seem like  my name...'' Savitar rummaged his pockets, probably looking for his wallet - just as Barry did. ''Hmm. Weird.''

God, he looked so fragile, so pure. You felt sick thinking that it had been taken away from him;

''Are you hungry? We can go out, eat something.'' He finally looked around, frowning in confusion at the sight of the place. But he still shook his head in denial. ''Or we can just stay here. It works for me.''

A few seconds of silence passed, Savitar seemed to be carefully analyzing all the details of everything around him, the place, the visible part of his body to his eyes, you.

Sighing, (Y/N) decided to try her luck, hesitantly touching his hand. He, of course, tried to retreat scared, and his armor raised its guard, but you held your hand steady, taking his.

''I'm here.'' Savitar looked into her eyes. ''I am here.''

And that seemed enough.

''I'm scared.'' He admitted, making her heart tear up little bit.

''You don't need to be scared.'' You smiled gently. ''I'm here.'' The pain was gone, you knew that. But Savitar's scars remained there.

Nodding, he stroked your hand, unconsciously sending a timely thought.

Xxx

''Big Belly Burguer.'' Savitar read the establishment's sign in that afternoon, a carefree smile playing on his lips. ''I like it here?''

''You absolutely love this place,'' You giggled, slipping into the place and sitting down at the usual table. '' Mostly the fries. There was a time when you'd woke up at three in the morning just because you dreamed of fries and we would ended up here!''

They laughed and their conversation continued in that casual rhythm, anyone looking outside would bet a penny that the couple would eventually marry. Around you, it was a completely harmonious and comfortable mood, and that moment was so magnetic for both of them that they forgot to order the food - which is something big, especially considering the body of a speedster as fast as the god of speed .

The hours passed by like seconds when night fell in all its glory, as Iris declared her love for Barry through a childlike memory, the memories of the villain and the hero merged into a single yin-yang .

Savitar closed his eyes, attacked without any warning by the weight of his sins while who was taking care of him all along made her request to the waiter was kind heavy.

His mind was more fucked up than usual and he had the luxury of stopping time for a few moments, (Y/N), the only girl his nemesis and himself had loved besides Iris West, had stayed by his side. Despite all the threats, fear, mistakes. Which he committed to his team, to her.

He couldn't lie to himself, (Y/NN) was always one in a million, the Cleopatra to his Julius Cesar in a future where he was without Iris West. But wherever he came to, she had not existed as a romantic interest to Barry Allen - ironically, the girl was married to Eddie Thawne in many earths.

Savitar had enjoyed her company more than that. For the first time in millennia as a god, he had finally felt in the presence of a goddess after his own left him for a heroic copy.

''And five big fries, thank you.'' (Y/N) finalized their request as Savitar let time go by as it was supposed to.

'' Do not forget the mayonnaise.'' Savitar warned the waiter, not actually aware to the meaning of those words. His ex lover raised her eyebrows at his elbow when the teenager who was attending them left.

''Did you remember anything?''

''Hm.'' Savitar quickly composed himself. The remnant of time had enjoyed being with someone like that. No violence, just... Being. Well, not with someone really, he wouldn't like to be like this with anyone else but her. '' Mayonnaise just seems... Good. Like you here.''

This had been the cutest thing in the world, the cliché that Barry Allen would be ready to say at any moment, not really a Savitar thing.

But her smile made left him feeling like an idiot for saying something like that was worth it.

[thisgirlhastales]

Keith works out, Lance ogles happily, Pidge tries to analyze the nature of their PDA ... she swiftly regrets all the things.

Some very kind people have sent me some very kind asks and made me feel better about being sick lately — and suddenly, my fingers were doing a thing on the keyboard? This thing, specifically? Just, everyone is so very nice, and I hope you like this silly little one-shot about silly space boys :) (Special shout-out to the anonymous person that called out this idea before I posted! Such amazing psychic powers! :D)

******

“But seriously, if my calculations are correct — shut your mouth, Lance, they are always correct — then Keith is initiating fifty two point seven percent of the times you make me want to invent brain bleach.” Pidge pauses to push her glasses up her nose. “Keith, care to offer some insight into this?”

“No.” Keith resumes lifting weights. Really, discovering the Castle’s weight room was one of the worst things that could have happened to Lance — now his boyfriend split his free time between training simulations and tossing around heavy things/running on treadmills. 

The Red Paladin had become a gym rat. The Blue Paladin was not surprised.

Also, Keith didn’t need more muscles, as Lance didn’t need that kind of heart attack. Even if watching those biceps strain was ... nice.

“My boo is just too hot to trot for my banging bod,” Lance says proudly, flexing his own (not quite as big but still very impressive) biceps.

Keith stops lifting weights so he can face palm. Pidge stares up towards the heavens in supplication.

“That’s going in my notes as one of the top five worst things you’ve ever said. Maybe top three.” Pidge actually takes out her computer to write it down.

Keith, with his face still buried in one hand, points with his other and says, “I don’t know if I can kiss that mouth at all today. That was horrifying.”

“Fifty two point seven percent, querido,” Lance cheerfully reminds him. “Ain’t nobody buying what you’re selling.”

Keith shoots Pidge a despairing glance. “I mean, was the pining that bad, really? Would it be so terrible to go back to that?”

Lance has taken a seat directly across from Keith, lifting a set of weights (they were barbells with rocks on either end — Coran had said something about how one could alter the density, thereby making them heavier/lighter, but Lance had immediately gotten distracted by challenging everyone to a weight lifting competition and somehow it ended with Hunk bench-pressing Lance and Pidge, and Shiro trying to throw Keith over their heads? Lance still doesn’t quite understand what happened there).

“I feel like the reason Keith is macking on me in public more is because he’s kinda into the fact that he can,” Lance explains, grunting a little as he tries to mimic Keith’s moves. “I mean, the pining was so real — he had been staring lingeringly at me from afar for so long, and now it’s like, free pass to grope all the time.” Lance winks at Keith, who is venturing to peek at him from between his fingers. “Because you do. Have a free pass. To grope. Put your hands any —”

“I know.” Keith lifts his weights with relative ease, a small smile pulling on his lips. “And yeah, Pidge. Maybe that’s part of it.”

“Part of it?” Lance asks, somewhat breathlessly as he switches arms since his right one was starting to ache from the effort. “Dude. All of it. Your thirstiness is not to be denied.”

Pidge rolls her eyes, jotting down a few more notes from her perch on the jungle gym (like, with actual vines for swinging and bouncy giant lily pads — Lance could not get over how cool Alteans were). “Believe it or not, I actually came to that conclusion on my own — Keith is now thirty six point four percent more affectionate with everyone, not just you, Lance.”

“That’s ... really sweet,” Lance says, feeling vaguely proud of both himself and Keith. The idea that he’s making Keith more willing to show his love to the rest of their space family ... It’s a little humbling, and a lot of awesome. He can feel his cheeks heating up.

The weights Keith had been lifting are now on the floor as he walks over to Lance, lifting his shirt to wipe the sweat from his face. Lance is grinning at the flash of a still slightly soft tummy (Keith has muscle definition, but there’s a small bit of cushiness around his middle that Lance really loves). Lance stops grinning when Keith suddenly drops into his lap, straddling him on the bench without any warning.

“You’re forgetting something key, Pidge,” Keith is saying, glancing over his shoulder at the Green Paladin, who is looking annoyed and amused in equal parts.

“All right, enlighten me.” Pidge grimaces. “With as little trauma as possible, if you please.”

“I think I’m gonna expire in a minute here, Pidge, mi hermanita querida, would you please spare me the humiliation and not witness this? Keith, whatever it is that you’re thinking —”

Keith covers his mouth with one hand, and Lance tries to speak past it, yelling his objections into the palm of a fingerless glove.

“See, notice how he can still talk?” Keith tilts his head in Lance’s direction, speaking with infuriating calm. “It’s a bit of a problem sometimes. But —”

The hand is gone. Lance is pissed off enough to start shouting, “Hey, you jackass, wail till I —”

Keith’s lips are on his. His mouth falls open automatically, and Lance sort of loses the thread of ... reality. Pidge whips them both in the head with a towel, which is when his wondrous boyfriend pulls away, leaving Lance gaping, licking his lips, and contemplating if he should still be irritated.

“Efficient, no?” Keith asks, his dark eyes glinting.

Pidge is glaring at him. “Except for the brain bleach aspect. Which I am going to go work on now. With Hunk’s help, he is one hundred percent behind me on this. There are cameras in here, by the way, not that that’s ever stopped you ...” She gets up and walks out, though not before ruffling Lance’s hair and saying, “You’re such a goner, hermano.”

When she’s gone, and Lance is left with nothing but a smug Red Paladin sitting on his thighs, he huffs, jabbing at Keith’s chest. “So you’re kissing me to shut me up most of the time?”

“Not most of the time,” Keith admits, his smirk easing back into a smile. “But Pidge would have probably gagged if I told her the main reason.”

“It’s not the ‘can’t resist my stellar good looks’?” Lance pouts. “That’s a little disappointing.”

Keith presses a quick kiss to his mouth. He’s flushed from exercise, but Lance swears his cheeks get a little bit darker as he speaks, “It’s because half the time I think I’ve made up this whole stupid thing, okay? We got together at a freaking ball. There was a duel involved. And dancing in fancy suits.” Keith waves his hands around for emphasis before crossing his arms. “And we still argue like ... It’s fine, but it feels like before sometimes, so I just ... need to make sure it’s not. Like before.”

Lance follows these words until he understands where they’re leading and then ... He’s blushing, and smiling, and pulling Keith in closer. “You ... you need to make sure this is real. That you didn’t ... dream it. Because ... I’m that good of a dream, huh?”

Keith groans, burying his face in Lance’s shoulder. “Crap. Okay, backtrack, I never said anything, especially not that stupid, sugary pile of —”

“No, no take backs!” Lance sings. “I ... sometimes have the same problem. So, uh, a good chunk of my forty seven point three percent contribution is exactly that.” He smiles up at Keith once the Red Paladin pulls back and sits up straighter in Lance’s lap.

“Yeah?” Keith leans down, his eyes fluttering shut.

“Yeah,” Lance whispers against his mouth ... which is when a painfully loud alarm goes off, and they are simultaneously soaked in freezing water as sprinklers kick in. Lance shrieks. Keith falls backward off his lap to the now slippery floor.

“You have rooms. Go get in one!” Pidge yells over the Castle comm.

“Please!” That sounded like Shiro’s voice, a little distant from the microphone.

Lance is laughing and shivering, and Keith is back to being mortified, but they adhere to Pidge’s wishes (who knew what she might pull next? Lance wouldn’t put it past her to space them at this point), and take off running. Keith yanks Lance into the gym’s showers.

“No cameras in here,” Keith says, raising an eyebrow. “And I need a shower anyway.”

Lance is rendered speechless. He wonders if this counts as part of Keith’s fifty two point seven percent of PDA. He wonders if Pidge is all-knowing. And then there’s a shirt coming off, and warm water pouring from a shower head, Keith kicking off his shoes from inside the cubicle. Lance can’t think as Keith’s hands reach for his shorts … and then pause.

“Yeah, so you just wait right here — you can take your turn when I’m done.” Keith grins and slams the shower door in his face.

Lance wonders if there’s a way to flush a toilet on a space castle to turn the water into a frigid torture. He says as much out loud, kicking lightly at the door.

Keith is laughing, and Lance may or may not adore that sound more than any other in the universe, except for his mom’s affectionate scolding ... So, he decides to wait until the Red Paladin is done and then do his best to up his percentage. Forty seven point three percent simply will not do, Lance thinks to himself with a goofy smile.

******

Random one-shot after Objects in Motion? I think so :) If y’all wanna read about the ball, duel, and dancing, head over there. Thank you to all the wondrous people who have been so awesome to me! You’re all way too amazing for words, but I hope you guys enjoy these above words as a random “thank you!” :D

Edit April 2020: Now posted on AO3 :)