#specialist soon 👍 so hopefully.

[oysterie]

none of the cardiologists at the hospital know what's wrong w my dad pls don't call him an "enigma" 😭😭

[muttfangs]

very very very very very stressed out realizing like. ok yes. hopefully I can quit my job soon after my court date but this also means I wont be on my work's health insurance anymore sooooo I have to find all-new doctors for literally every goddamn thing im being seen for (which is a lot bc of chronic illness shit), so that means being put on months long wait lists AGAIN for the fucking specialists I see, there's going to be way less of a choice for specialists I can see bc medicaid is very fucking restrictive, and also the fact that medicaid never covers more than a 30 day supply of medications at a time and HATES covering the injectable T i'm *not* allergic to my life is going to become incredibly difficult soon and I'm freaking out and very fucking anxiety-ridden and upset about it 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍

[dykexenomorph]

thank u @whodoesnataliehave and @hex-rex for taggin me!!

1.) are you named after anyone? Christopher Robin my good friend Christopher Robin.....

2.) when was the last time you cried? the day before yesterday for silly reasons! crying over everything is good for the soul i think

3.) do you have kids HELL NO!!!!!!! (i wouldnt mind having some WAY. WAY. WAY. into the future tho :])

4.) what sports do/have you played? none unfortunately, i wanted to play basketball in highschool (and 100% would've) but i wasn't allowed to bc i was still supposed to be doing physical therapy for my hips </3

5.) do you use sarcasm? YES ALL THE TIME, the only other person who can tell when im being sarcastic is my dad though, its so unfortunate TT

6.) whats the first thing you notice about people? didn't realize it until now but i think its their hair? im extremely bad w faces (and have trouble remembering them + telling people apart when i don't know them well) so i usually remember folks by their hair LMAO

7.) eye color brown

8.) scary movies or happy endings? both are good!!!!!!

9.) any talents? i can vaguely play guitar and ukulele + draw when my brain cooperates w me. im also very good at making origami cranes (DONT ask me to make anything else though. mastering one kick vs 1000 punches or whatever the hell bruce lee was talking about)

10.) where were you born? what are you..........a cop? (right outside of this TINY! ASS! TOWN! in georgia)

11.) what are your hobbies? reading, drawing, playin music, and crocheting soon hopefully :3

12.) do you have any pets? i have two cats (bobbi and shimmey) and two dogs (loki and coco). coco is my bestest friend and the most specialist girl in the whole wide world and loki is loki. the cats remain mostly unphased by my presence.

13.) how tall are you? ohhh you know. about this tall. like yey big i'd say. about as tall as i am. (5'2)

14.) what was your favorite subject in school? it was and still is history!! im also very fond of algebra and english :]

15.) whats your dream job GIVE ME A JOB AS A LIBRARIAN NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tagging: ANYONE WHO WANTS TO!!!!! IF U READ THIS AND UR MY MUTUAL DO IT!!! IF UR NOT MY MUTUAL ALSO DO IT!! or dont, its up to u 👍

[vpofcookies]

I have been having a bad time 👍

Hopefully things will be better soon but I took time of work for this weekend so there will be art soon either way.

⬇️ life update under the cut but I’ll be okay y’all don’t worry!

But yeah. My health has been bad recently and I only just got doctors to actually look into it and literally within the first day of monitoring they were calling me about how we needed to get a specialist in to see if I need surgery :/ can't see the specialist for three months but in the meantime I have this heart monitor to wear and yayyyy I apparently completely irritated my skin with the adhesive but I still have to wear it anyways. And they made me quite sports so. No fun allowed I guess.

My teachers are pretty terrible this semester too and I've got two exams this week and I'm already behind on my work.

Didn’t see any of my family for my birthday and then didn’t get to see my brother for his because I had an exam :/

And my cat died last month and I was managing that and working through it and then my lizard died this morning and it's just. A lot.

But yeah that's why there's been no content from me recently. Too many other things going on.

[daaedoodles]

so an update for tumblr even though i don’t know who’s going to see this since i’ve been inactive for yonks

i have a diagnosis!! well, two actually. the cardiologist from my last appointment wrote (POTS) postural orthoststic tachycardia syndrome / dysautonomia, and i saw a GP last week who worked under the recently retired CFS specialist here, who says i fit the ICC (international consensus criteria) for, and therefore have ME/CFS.

my parents are still clowning a little trying to get me to take weird herbal medicines, but once that’s over and it doesn’t help (it probably won’t honestly) they finally have to take me seriously 😭

i have a treatment plan in place, right now for the POTS i’m trialing ivabradine and bisoprolol to see which one works best/less side effects.

for the CFS, i’ve got a lot to do so i’m just going to drop in a photo.

i mean i’ve been dealing with this for so long and i’ve never been able to grasp the concept of actually stopping before my body physically makes me stop (via pain, dizziness, nausea, fatigue) because i figure if i feel okay right then and there why should i stop before i get tired? and how do i even know when to stop on days where i feel like crap?? as a healthy person you feel fine doing things, you can go to a whole day at school or even do extracurriculars and go out to malls with friends so you never really have to stop before you want to or you’re used to - but now i’m pretty much being told ‘stop before your body tells you to stop’ which is just?? weird. i cant wrap my head around it but i’m going to have to because apparently if i keep going the way i am, my baseline will keep getting worse - and if i actually follow the doctors treatment plan i will feel better over time (months, a year even)

i probably need to be a little more attentive to my symptoms because sometimes i can’t tell when they’re starting to get worse until they’re bad enough that i physically have to stop whatever im doing and rest 😭 like even right now typing this i’m feeling okay but starting to get a little achey - but that’s normal for me doing just about anything ever, which i presume is when i’m meant to stop and rest so uhm 🤡

it feels really weird having a diagnosis, i’ve been working towards one for months because i knew this was the problem, but also now that i have the diagnosis i don’t really want to face it. it’s a bit of a feelings-of-doom inducing diagnosis, i mean there’s no end in sight, either way, it’s not a garauntee it’ll get worse or better or that i’ll ever recover, but if the doctor feels optimistic then i’m going to try and be aswell 👍

hopefully i’ll be more active posting here or on ao3 soon, i know a lot of new readers have dropped into pieces!au while i’ve been gone because of the email notifications so it would be pretty tragic if i just jumped ship and never wrote for the fandom again 💀 i will be back i swear, once i figure out the basics of how to even pace myself i’ll be more active on socials.

love you all, take care <3