#speaking of - beloved mutuals!!! how have you been? what's been going on in your life what are you looking forward to?

[girls-and-honey]

okay launching myself back into tumblr so it's officially tumblr party night (it's actually not official at all I just made it up but we can pretend. also it's not actually night here yet so... soon it will be tumblr party night). what's tumblr party night?

stalk all my beloved mutuals and see how everyone's been doing, respond to some asks and messages, clean up my drafts and revitalize my queue, and get that sweet sweet dopamine from remembering what my dash looks like and seeing all sorts of cool pretty devastating interesting peculiar relatable mesmerizing etc etc you get it type things

[notmorbid]

all-night pharmacy.

dialogue prompts from all-night pharmacy by ruth madievsky.

you're so alive, it's scary.

being a person doesn't come naturally for me.

what's the deal with this place?

you are my best and my worst friend.

are we horrible people?

i like the idea of having someone to come home to.

i can't tell if you're being cruel or if you're just dumb.

these aren't the decisions of a well-adjusted person.

the less you know about my life, the better.

everyone here is a liar and a cheat.

you deserve to have a life of your own.

a person can't be held responsible for what they don't know.

all relationships are transactional.

no one should have that much power over you.

it isn't too late to come back.

you're uninvited from my birthday party.

i love you, but you're such a cunt.

who do you think you are?

forced intimacy makes me lightheaded.

i know you're in there. let me in.

jesus. why do you have a knife?

what happened last night?

it was less embarrassing to pretend i didn't care.

maybe i'm not the mothering type.

i wish i could carry some of this pain for you.

i need a break from feeling so much all the time.

sometimes i can't tell if i'm asleep or awake.

whatever's going on, we'll figure it out.

i don't know what's wrong with me. i'm scared all the time.

this is the most i can imagine for myself.

if you're not asking yourself 'am i ruining my life?' at least once a day, you're not living at all.

you act like you're over it, but it's okay if you're not.

all my life, i've felt like a dead animal with its skin still on.

it's a virtue to rid yourself of anything that doesn't serve you.

i've never had a day of rest in my life.

i chase after you like a dog, leaving pieces of myself behind, and every time, you act like that's how it's supposed to be.

you don't take me seriously. i'm not a real person to you.

i can't play house anymore.

never say that name in front of me.

to you, other people are always the problem.

you can't reach a mutual understanding without spilling blood.

want to make fifty bucks?

the only way to really see a person is to lose everything you have in common.

you don't think we'll get caught?

our loyalty is to story, not reality.

just don't do anything that could result in a lawsuit or a tmz article, and you're fine.

i don't have the energy to keep up with your antics.

our most beloved delusion was that lying to each other was a kind of love.

speaking our fears aloud won't save us.

one day, the mask slipped. i haven't been able to wear it since.

i try not to think about my life at all.

a junkie can spot another junkie without a flashlight.

your voice reminds me of wool sweaters.

boundaries? i don't know her.

i'm just sick of doing the same goddamn thing every day.

you are obsessed with a projection that will never love you back.

think of me as a spiritually connected friend.

i know liars. you don't strike me as one.

you have iconically poor judgment.

has anyone ever told you about your past lives?

you're capable of tolerating a lot. frankly, more than you should.

friendship can be a slow burn. you don't have to consume it like a drink at last call.

i'll give you a clue. i work for myself.

you make me want to feel things again.

criticism is still a cousin of attention.

you don't have to pretend to like something just because i made it.

i know you crave being told what to do.

you don't have to settle for being a person things happen to.

you have desires. act on them.

bitch, does this look like an intro to philosophy seminar?

i thought i had quit you.

my favorite. how did you know?

i feel like my organs are cannibalizing each other.

how did i get here? that's not a rhetorical question. i'm actually asking.

i can't tell if i believe it, or if i'm making excuses for myself.

sometimes i wonder if it's healthy how much meaning you see in things.

you're always waiting for the universe to hurt you or to love you. usually in that order.

that's how it was in my family. reading the room was a survival skill.

where will all the animals go in the rapture?

a bunch of fuckups under one roof doesn't constitute a family.

my little saint.

time passes more slowly as a sober person.

you'd better not pull away from me now.

there's a russian proverb that goes, 'so much is ruined by saying it aloud'.

you wear your emotions like a name tag.

your resting face frightens me.

how are you both the most innocent and the most experienced person i've ever met?

i need you to just be here with me.

our dead deserve to see you happy.

i like the idea of being marked by you.

i don't know what i saw, but it was more than i wanted.

i know what i saw.

i can't tell which of the memories are real, if any.

i can't believe you're mine.

nobody warned me how terrifying it is to get what you want.

you're cute when you're freaked out.

sex is supposed to be unsettling.

there are things i need to atone for.

you can't go back like it's nothing.

i won't live in service of my dead's vision for me.

___ was a real person. a murder isn't a metaphor.

count five things you can see. four things you can touch. three things you can hear. two things you can smell. one thing you can taste.

banish one god, and you'll end up worshiping another.

i want to be with you, but i don't want to keep feeling like this.

you know everything about me, but you won't let me know you.

you aren't someone i can keep at a distance.

i've been reading about intergenerational curses.

resisting something isn't the same as not wanting it.

anything you say stays between us.

i can't decide if i like you.

most people only possess a third of the empathy they think they have.

will it get easier?

hope is a tricky thing: losing it is bad, but so is having too much.

i don't want the future to come. i have a bad feeling about it.

in cartoons, you don't start falling until you look down.

why are you here? where have you been?

how did you know i'd come looking for you?

you never asked what i was going through. you didn't want to know.

i didn't have the language for what was happening to me.

you were supposed to protect me.

there's a lot i don't remember. a lot i don't want to remember.

i wouldn't have looked for me, either.

we belong to ourselves now.

you know where i am, and i know where you are. maybe that's enough.

when i'm down, vigilante justice makes me feel better.

survival is provisional.

[blackleatherjacketz]

Frostbite

Loki x Female Reader

Summary: Set before the events of Thor (2011). You’ve been having sex dreams about your friend Loki for weeks now. After your betrothal to another man, he gets jealous and lets you know he’s been having them, too.

Warnings: 18+ Only! Explicit Smut, Mature Content, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers, Sex Dreams, Sleep Walking, Dubious Consent, Confessions of Love/Lust, Asgard, Enchantment?, Kissing, Face-Grabbing, Groping, Possessive Loki, Jealousy, Loki Using His Frost Giant Powers To Go Down On You, Cunnilingus, Vaginal Sex, Multiple Orgasms, Rough Sex, Bonus points if you catch my Hamilton reference.

Word Count: 2.5k+

Thank you to @mrsbuckybarnes1917 for brainstorming this with me!

Read more Loki!

The crickets are well into their nocturnal symphony as the flames from the worn down torches illuminate the great hall. Their warm, amber glow radiates into the apertures and hallways that branch off from the main path, highlighting them just enough to guide your way. You can’t recall exactly what had awakened you from your slumber, or when you had left your chambers in the royal palace, but your feet somehow seem to know exactly where they’re taking you.

Just as one accepts an amount of false realities in their dreams, you can’t help but accept this blissfully hazy version of your friend graciously greeting you in his personal quarters. You’ve dreamt of him like this before; his face always a little blurry and the details a little bit fuzzy, but a few things about him remain the same. His scent as he draws you near, the flavor of his kiss and the way he cries out your name always seem to stick with you, haunting you well into your waking hours. These dreams have increased in frequency as time went on, eventually making it harder for you to look your beloved friend in the eye. You had almost resorted to ignoring him completely during your everyday life, anxiously awaiting your time together once you resigned again to the mansions of rest.

You can smell him again here and now as you walk in the twilight of consciousness, that deep crisp scent flooding your senses as his face slowly comes into focus, the sharp angles of his features more beautiful than ever in the wavering light of the torches.

Wait a minute, that’s never happened before.

“You’re really here.” His voice is clear and undistorted, yet softer than the one he puts on for Thor and Odin. This gentle timbre must be reserved only for you.

“Wait a minute, this isn’t…” You blink a few dozen times to try and focus your vision, squinting as you look around his bedroom to make sure that you are where you think you are. You can clearly see the ornate details carved into the furniture at your side, noting that none of the designs are shifting or blurring together like they often did in your slumber. “This isn’t a dream?”

“Not this time, I’m afraid.” He shakes his head blithely, a satisfied grin curling his lips upward as he approaches you.

“This time?” You ask, wondering how he could possibly know about the fantasies that kept you coated in a film of sweat beneath your covers at night. Has he been watching you? Reading your mind when you weren’t paying attention? Or is he merely toying with you like a cat would a mouse before biting into its neck?

“I’ve been having them, too, you know,” he starts, the deep collar of his nightshirt revealing a peek at his chest as he gets closer to you. “The dreams we dare not speak of.”

He knows. Your heart drops into the bitter acid of your stomach, tightening your insides as he stares at you expectantly. But wait a minute, did he just say…?

“I thought it was nothing more than a mere coincidence until you started to avoid me.” He touches a strand of hair that cascades down your shoulder, contrasting against the sheer material of your night dress that barely covers your naked form. “Until I noticed your cheeks flush scarlet at my gaze.”

You watch his eyes darken as they take you in, forcing those dreamlike feelings of longing to rush to the surface once more. That all too familiar moisture begins to pool between your thighs, triggered by the mere warmth of his touch as he slowly breathes in your scent.

“I don’t,” you try to protest, cheeks blushing again despite yourself as you try to find the right words, any words in fact, to defend your reaction. “I didn’t…”

“I wanted to see if it was more than just some misconstrued fantasy of mine,” he ignores your mindless bumbling, snaking his fingers through your locks up to the base of your neck. “And after tonight’s announcement, I knew I had to find out for myself.”

It’s all starting to make sense now, the sudden betrothal Odin had announced at dinner tonight had caught you both off guard, forcing you to glance up at each other in a shared, silent panic that you didn’t quite understand until now. You knew that this day was coming eventually, but you didn’t think it would be this soon; that a complete stranger would show up and derail your hidden feelings for your best friend whom you were secretly dreaming about for months now.

“I didn’t have any control over that,” you admit.

“I know that!” He spits, grabbing onto your face. His thumb and forefinger press your lips into a pucker as he all but picks you up and backs you up against the wall. A jealous shade of green flashes wildly in his eyes, nearly drowning out the icy blue in them entirely. “It’s maddening to think that he gets to taste you every night! Like he even knows how to please you, how to make you moan his name in every pitch on the scale after all that we’ve done together!”

All that you’ve done together? Your chest heaves as that twinge of jealousy turns to a dangerous hue of anger as he bares his teeth at you. “Loki, those were just dreams.”

“Were they?” His voice cracks for a split second as his lashes flutter against your cheek, his stifled breath hot on your lips as he holds you in place.

With your heart beating wildly against your rib cage, you recall the deeply manipulative nature of his powers, wondering just how coincidental these shared dreams actually were. Had he enchanted you into falling for him night after night, or were your romantic feelings there for him all along? As impossible as it is to say which came first, what you can tell Is how strong your feelings are for him right now, and what you can do about them in this moment.

You decide to close the gap between you by pressing your lips against his, feeling him willingly lean into your embrace as he loosens his grip on your face. All those dreams from all those nights have finally led up to this, his hands finally venturing down your shaking frame, surveying every curve of your body as he presses his against it. His fingers grasp at the linens of your dress, hurriedly pulling them up above your thighs as his tongue parts your hungry lips in order to taste in earnest what he’s been dreaming of for so long.

Without breaking the kiss he lifts you up, hoisting your hips onto his as he squeezes the muscles in your thighs to bring you even closer. He stumbles backwards with your legs wrapped around his waist, his hands feeling their way up your backside as he fumbles against chairs and tables, desperately squeezing onto your cheeks. An ancient vase topples over in his attempt to guide both of you onto his bed, shattering into hundreds of pieces before he tosses you onto his bed with a force you hadn’t seen him use before.

“I’ve been waiting for this,” he says under his shortened breath, lifting up your skirts to needily massage your inner thighs. “For so long.”

“So have I.” The sight of him above you like this is absolutely unreal, the gravity of it not quite sinking into your brain as his fingers graze deftly over your needy center. In your dreams, this part always seemed to merge together with your inevitable climax, his groans mixing with yours in a cluster of images and sensations, the details never quite being laid out before you… until now.

A single strand of hair falls in front of his eyes as his fingers pass over the length of your swollen heat, taking their time to spread your lips apart as your hips instinctively roll toward him. He grins at your eagerness, dipping his head down just enough to blow his ice cold breath over your sex. It freezes your nerve endings in a prickly, tingling sensation you didn’t think possible, shocking you to your core. It forces your body to shiver, contracting your muscles in rapid succession as you hear him laugh mirthfully before dropping his head down even lower to lick a strip up your now frozen cunt.

“Loki!” You breathe out, limbs already shaking from his little parlor trick as the chill runs up your spine, hardening your nipples even more. Your teeth begin to chatter as he spreads your legs further apart, his saliva now warming your icy organ as every hair on your body stands on end.

“You look even more beautiful like this than in my dreams,” he huffs, his mouth finally melting the liquid barrier of your opening as he slides two fingers inside. His tongue dances over your bud as he pushes his digits in, working together in tandem to stimulate that internal organ as sparks of pleasure shoot up into your core.

“Oh gods,” you mumble, the shivering in your limbs finally calming down enough for you to reach down and stroke his hair as he enthusiastically thaws you out.

Those internal sparks come faster each time, speeding up as your convulsions from the ice die down, the two opposing forces balancing each other out as every sensitive nerve he touches inside you comes alive. You let your eyes fall shut as he bites down on your clit, adding yet another sensation to your nervous system as a needy whimper escapes your lips. He sucks your bud into his mouth, greedily tugging on it as he nibbles just hard enough to turn those sparks into flames. His ministrations send them blazing their way up through you as they light a path through your muscles into every layer of your skin, igniting them into the very tips of your fingernails and strands of your hair.

You cry out his name as your pleasure finally combusts, exploding into a giant firework of ecstasy as your body shivers and shakes despite the freezing cold that was there only moments ago. Your internal warmth vibrates within you as you instinctively clench down, pulling his fingers in even deeper as he relentlessly dines on your melting flesh, hungry eyes glancing up at you periodically as your bones rattle in delight.

Wow, you should have sleep walked into his bedroom a lot earlier.

“That never happened in the dream,” you jest, still shaking as your bliss gradually fizzles out.

“No,” he smirks, finally coming up for air with a sinister gaze. “Let’s make reality better than our dreams.”

He slithers up your body, his mouth leaving a messy trail of your juices on the fabric of your dress while what little remains glistens on his nose and chin. His hands peel your sleeves off your shoulders, exposing your breasts just before taking one of your nipples into his mouth. He groans into it as your hands travel down his neck and back, massaging the muscles along his spine beneath his shirt as he tastes your skin. The twinge of his teeth on your nipples send your body into overdrive as your moans occur more often, growing in volume.

“You’re making so much noise and I’m not even inside you yet,” he chides, kissing his way up your chest and neck as your moans reverberate in your throat. He pecks at your chin and jawline as your body relaxes from the brief lack of stimuli, your hands smoothing their way up into his hairline as he finally kisses your lips. He tastes even better than before, his frosty tongue mixing with the tang of your arousal as he rhythmically thrusts his clothed erection between your legs, all but soaking through his night clothes.

“Wouldn’t want to wake Odin, now would we?” He chuckles haughtily into your kiss for a moment, his lips pulling into a mischievous grin as he slowly leans back from your embrace.

Your body yearns for him already, addicted to his touch as that short amount of time devoid of contact seems to last too long already. You watch him push his pants down past his hips, freeing himself from the only barrier left between you as your hands reach out, grazing up his biceps and over his shoulders as he crawls back on top of you.

“Only I get to ruin you like this,” he whispers, his voice dropping an octave as he grabs hold of himself, gliding the tip of his cock over your well spent cunt. “Not him, not anyone.”

You nod as he blinds you with pleasure, passing over your bud a few more times before pushing all the way in, filling you up without mercy. His girth stretches you out, his length hitting your cervix with each needy thrust up into you as he gives himself over to you again and again. His breath hitches as his mouth catches yours, his moans turning into whiny whimpers, nearly losing himself before sliding his arms beneath your thighs to push them up toward your chest.

“I want you to think of me every time he touches you.” His hips snap against your thighs, hitting that bundle of nerves at a delicious new angle as they promise another orgasm to rival the last. You want to wrap your thighs around his waist, to pull him in as close as possible in order to share the impending euphoria just as you had your dreams. But he continues to hold your legs in position up by your shoulders, straining your muscles as he keeps rocking into you. It triggers your body to convulse again as it nears the brink, the rhythm of his thrusts a little more desperate each time. “I want you to promise that you’ll always be mine.”

His efforts flip a switch inside you didn’t even know was there, encompassing you in a delightful ethereal glow that makes you feel as if you’re floating, levitating through all nine realms at once. It’s beyond exhilarating, washing away any other thought from your head besides him pumping mindlessly inside you. Nothing else seems to matter now; not Asgard, not Odin, not your betrothal… all that matters is Loki. All that matters is this.

Your skin tingles as he slides into your cunt at a much more frantic rate now, sweat dripping down his chest as his eyes roll back into his head, a sudden deep shade of blue flushing over his skin. A breathy growl rattles in his chest as he sheaths himself inside you faster, further, deeper before he comes undone and that blue tinge fades just as quickly as it had appeared.

“Promise me!” He collapses on top of you as he finishes spilling himself inside your walls, his chin tucked snugly into the base of your neck as he finally releases his grip on your thighs.

“I promise.” You kiss into his forehead, hearing him pant his way down to a regular rate. You can feel his heart beating against your own now, a detail your dreams never seemed to give you as his breath chills the skin behind your ear as he remains inside you. “I promise I’m yours.”

“Good,” he whispers softly, lazily tracing the outline of your face. “I’ll be sure to visit you in your dreams even after you get married.”

[mothwingwritings]

Look, I don’t think this would ever happen (if anything I think the two of them are/would be great buddies and would bond over their mutual love of the Warrior of Light/you), but I am a little obsessed with the idea of G’raha and Aymeric being so jealous of each other’s relationship with you that it births an intense rivalry between the two of them.

I’m talking childish levels of banter, one step away from the two of them grabbing either one of your arms and beginning a tug of war match. They would conceal their jealousy during any important meetings, when it’s time to work they are all business and decorum, too focused on trying to impress their hero with their prowess and tact to worry about what the other is doing. But afterwards, before the assembly splits up and everyone is just milling around sharing pleasantries? Oh, it’s on.

G’raha talking just a smidge too loudly about all the fun and exciting adventures he has gotten to share with you (and will continue to share with you far into the future), making sure Aymeric is within earshot so he can clearly hear each little intimate detail. Aymeric in turn excusing  himself from whoever he is speaking with so he can interject into the conversation, standing just a little too close to you as he does so. He places his hand on the small of your back while he regales the party with tales of his time together with you, recanting with a fond twinkle in his eye all the time you spent together as you brought about the end of the Dragonsong War. He focused most of his time elaborating on the moments he spent alone with you and the greatness the two of you were able to achieve together, how well you both complimented each other.

They both get under each other’s skin so easily. G’raha is essentially living Aymeric’s dream life, getting to go on countless daring adventures all over the world (and beyond) with the person he treasures the most. And Aymeric intimately knows you in ways G’raha does not, as Aymeric has been a beloved companion and confidante in your life before G’raha even had a presence. For so long G’raha simply existed as an unreachable, detached entity from you, only able to dream of an eventual reunion (that on most days seemed like an unobtainable dream). He feels like he’s constantly playing catch up, while Aymeric consistently frets that he is being left behind. Both men know sides of their hero that the other does not, and both have experienced moments with you that the other will never share, and that gets to them.

Of course all the other scions notice this and tease them both about it mercilessly. Despite the heavy handedness of it all and their desire to always one up the other, both are always exhibiting remarkably good behavior around you to the point where you yourself are a little clueless as to the extent of this rivalry. And they work hard to keep it that way! No sense in looking like a fool in front or the person they love and admire the most, even if they are hell bent on being as petty as possible to each other behind the scenes to claim the top spot in your heart.

(Which is silly, you love and cherish both equally! :) No matter how much that impartiality may irritate them.)

[tteokdoroki]

*ੈ🌩️‧₊˚— earbuds, my love + yoichi isagi.

૮˶ᵕ ༝ᵕ˶ა synopsis — a single train ride has you sharing your headphones and your feelings with your long time crush, yoichi isagi.

⭑ warnings — please read + mdni ! characters aged up to 20s, fluff, friends to lovers, love confessions, mutual pining, pro player!isagi, fem!reader - not beta read !

⭑ words — 1K.

⭑ notes — third fic queued for aali's away time, one of my many isagi wips! he's literally ceo of friends to lovers ngl !! i love him so bad... enjoy my lurvs - m.list ✩

“this song makes me feel like i’m falling in love with someone.”

isagi glances up at you from his phone, no longer shuffling the playlist that you’re both listening to. you’re looking out of the window, your feet propped up on the back of the seat in front of you, your head resting on your closed fist. you miss the way he flushes red.

“do you want to keep listening to it then?” he mumbles softly, thumb hovering over the slip button and his voice just barely above a whisper. you almost don’t hear you despite the fact that you’re sharing headphones and only have one ear-bud in while he takes the other.

this time, you tilt your head away from the window and the scenery passing by to lock eyes with your childhood best friend. “no, s’okay,” you say, your voice equally as low. “you can change it if you’d like.” your facial expression is tranquil, the swell of your lips pressed into an appreciative smile and your eyes sparkling with the sunlight that glitters outside of your moving train.

isagi’s nerves quickly get the better of him and he breaks eye contact, swallowing thickly before looking away with his own smile (mostly for himself).

“i think we’ll keep listening to it.”

you’re both on the train from the bustling city of tokyo back to the tiny town you both grew up in. with the off-season approaching, japan’s beloved striker had finally managed to get some time away from the blue lock team to visit his parents, and you were off on your university’s allotted spring-break.

this was the first time, in what felt like forever, that your calendars were synced up.

your bond with isagi had always been strong — from the very first moment you’d met, back in middle school when he’d kicked a soccer ball straight into your lunch and then instantly offered to buy you a new one. impossible to separate, you were joined at the hip right up until he left for blue lock. these days, your paths rarely cross and while isagi’s career in soccer bloomed like you always knew it would — you went the more traditional route of life and found passion in your own university degree.

after some moments of quiet, aside from the children crying in their mother’s arms, teenagers gossiping on their way home from junior high and the calls from the attendant manning the snack cart — isagi speaks up, shyly. “who…who would you be in love with? yanno…because of this song…”

“some guy, i’ve known him for years.”

“does he know…how you feel about him?” you shake your head and isagi presses you again. “have you tried telling him?”

“gods no, yoichi!” you wave him off almost too quickly — curling in on yourself like a highschool girl handing her crush a confession letter or chocolates on white day. perhaps because this is exactly like that. you’ve liked him, loved him, for as long as you can remember. he makes your skin hot and your thoughts a mess and when isagi’s nearby you hardly remember who you are.

and he hardly realises how lovesick you’ve been for him over the years. it would be too embarrassing to admit that you have a raging crush on one of japan’s favourite athletes.

“why not?”

“because…if he felt the same he would have noticed by now.” you answer, trying to shut down the conversation. “i’ve been obvious with my feelings. the ball’s been in his court for a while.”

“maybe he’s just oblivious.” isagi keeps going and in the cramped space of your train seats you feel hot under the collar — your nerves shaking under the pressure.

you’re given a brief moment of relief when the attendant on the snack cart stops for the couple seated opposite you. they seem happy and in love, it makes your heart twist.

the train jolts, pushing the attendant into isagi, who then topples into you — invading your space once more, causing heat to build up under your skin.

“h-he’s a way too smart for that.”

“maybe…he’s unsure? maybe he doesn’t understand your signals?”

the song you’re listening too changes as you pull into the next station.

“or maybe he doesn’t love me, yoichi!” you snap, turning your head away so fast that the ear-bud slips from your ears and the wires are left dangling between the warmth of isagi’s body and your own. you try to sit still, fighting off burning, frustrated tears — lucky that no one’s heard your outburst over the busy ambience of the train. “believe me, i’ve held out hope for it.”

“but i do love you.” he snaps back, grabbing you by the wrist so that you’re forced to look at him. isagi’s eyes are wide and deep, swirling in their hypnotising shade of blue with an emotion you don’t recognise seeing on him. love. “maybe you’re the one who’s dumb enough not to have noticed. maybe i’ve been too shy or too caught up with soccer to say so. but i love you. i want that song to make you feel like you’re in love with me.”

“o-oh…yoichi i—“ your eyes widen, then soften all at once and you feel yourself melting fast — as if all of your dreams have come true. “i don’t know what to say…”

the tips of his ears are bright pink, the hue blooming across his cheeks like they’re roses in bloom. yoichi chews on his lower lip nervously before shoving the right bud of the headphones back into your ear. “just say you like me back ‘nd we’ll leave it at that for now, okay?” he mumbles like a teenager, very much unlike the confident, cocky isagi who everyone fears on the pitch.

wisps of a grin tug at the corners of your lips as you reach out and grab his larger hand with yours — giving it a squeeze. “alright then, yoichi,” you say, leaning over to kiss the warmth of his cheeks. “i like you too.” his eyes go wide.

this is all silly and new for the both of you — having been in love with one another for years without saying. you’ll have a lot to talk about once you reach his parents’ house, how you’ll make this work with his soccer career and your new life in the big city, what you want this to be, who you’ll tell. but for now you try not to dwell on it, letting your head flop to isagi’s shoulder and his on top of yours, sharing headphones and listening to songs that made him fall in love with you.

[feyburner]

yeah going a little. hmm. going a little insane over your text fic. Actually going insane

They wanna fuck each other so bad it makes them look stupid

Btw if I’d felt like carrying on for another 10k before the resolution, which I didn’t, the day after they have phone sex for the first time Jason completely freaks out bc he’s convinced he’s Bad News for Timothy and will ruin his life especially if the Bats ever find out, the Bats will definitely think Jason is fucked up for this (projecting.) and will forbid Tim from ever speaking to him again (unclear why he thinks Tim would listen but that’s the nature of the Feelings You’ve Been Ashamed Of Being Unexpectedly Requited panic) and he asks Tim to forget it ever happened and they’re both soooo sad for like a month. And then probably someone almost dies and things sort themselves out. And Tim talks to Dick and is like [guy pretending childhood hero’s opinion does not mean the world to him] Hey so I want to be with someone, he and I are kind of a thing, and I want us to keep being a thing and I don’t ever want to choose but if you force me to make a choice here, I don’t know if you’ll like the result. And Dick is like, Just tell me which Rogue you’re fucking so I know how big of a Biblical fucking drama I’m about to have with our mutual associate and beloved hypocrite Batman. And Tim is like, What??? No it’s just Jason??? And Dick is like [lowering sniper rifle so Slade Wilson is no longer in the scopes] Oh, okay.

[madness-combat-confessions]

Homeboy let me tell you on this one, I didn't know there's a madcom specific confession blog out here its quite surprising which. oh brother (gender neutral). you would loooovvveee this particular gossip that had been navigating its way to the dark tunnels of my mind back and forth like a wandering ghost about to get fucking tazed by someone who's reeling in power trip in the distant northern region of britain because buddy, do you know that feeling of self discovery plundered about with self resignation? I've been WAITING to confess this my whole life, I'm like a sinner in one of those confession box and you in your awesome fit is listening to a year long obsession crumpled into few paragraphs with no way of knowing who I am or where to exorcise me. ehhehehehe. AHAHAHAHHAHA.

I FUCKING HATE PHOBOS. IHATEHIMIHATEHIMIHATEHIMIHATEHIMIHATEHIMIHATEHIMIHATEHIMIHATEHIMIHATEHIMIHATEHIMIHATEHIMIHATEHIMIHATEHIMIHATEHIMIHATEHIM—

OBSESSION SO FIXED IT IS A BLESSING IN FORM OF FAILED LOBOTOMY. HE'S BEEN ON MY LIFESPAN UNBEARABLY WELCOMING LIKE THE GRIP OF AN BOXER,

I HATE. HIM.

HIS EXISTENCE IS NOTHING SHORT BUT AN MIRACLE TO MY BLEAK EXISTENCE, OF WHOM HAD FILLED MY TORMENTED COMPLEX WITH A LITTLE BIT OF JOY THAT IT. HURT. IT'S A SENSATION OF RETURNED LOSS WHENEVER HE MADE HIMSELF AT HOME WITHIN MY TORMENT NEXUS AND IT SPEAKS OF AN UNSPOKEN RESIGNATION TO A DEATHLY WORSHIP, A FIXATION SO BOUND SO BLINDING ITS LIFE RUINING YET SO FUCKING REWARDING. MY MUTUALS, MY DEAREST BELOVED MUTUALS WHO HAD KNOWN ME FROM MY MADCOM PHASE (if y'all see this and recognize me somehow, hey man), SEES ME AS— you know what they see? THEY SEES ME AS T.H.E PHOBOS ENJOYER. THEY CAN S E E ME SCRAPING HELL TO BACK FOR A REMINDER OF HIS IMAGE ON THEIR WINDOWS AS IF I WAS THEIR NEIGHBOR GOING MAD AND DIGGING A HOLE OVER IT BECAUSE I HATE HIM SO MUCH

HOWEVER... I LOVE HIM AS A CHARACTER TOO BECAUSE OF HOW MUCH HE HAD OFFERED ME TO GROW AS A PERSON AND THAT UTTERLY WRECKED ME.

THIS VISAGE OF A BARREN EMPIRE, HE HAS BROUGHT ME TO TEARS AS MUCH AS HE HAD MADE ME BARKED. HE HELPED ME UNLIKE ANY OTHER IN MY FUCKING LIFE AND ISN'T THAT JUST DISSAPOINTING YET BEAUTIFUL? ITS HIM. HIM THAT MADE ME REALIZE MY HUMANITY.

He's a reminder of what I could've be if I don't step up to care for my mental health, and as hot as the idea of me being a CEO there's no fucking way I'll fucking bootlick the horrors beyond my comprehension especially when I have the corporate power not to. I wanna fight those thangs, I want a war not power. Its because of this very reason that he's my existential horror that I don't mind worshiping. A welcoming hand to my new world as a human being instead of a piece of nothing, and I don't know if I should be thankful or be angry that it was him instead of tha hottie sweetie Sanford. But. Its undeniable of what he had done to me. There's a piece of me in that wretched soul, I can't help but to care but for the HATE I have for him this care has been translated in the same manner of how people treated Spamton G Spamton. Violence all the way, a beautiful blend of loving violence. I'll worship him from hell to back if it meant that I could beat the ever loving FUCK outta this mf, I want his blood in my kidneys and for it break down the animalistic copper from my taste buds into nutrients so that my arteries can intimately understand how much I have come to HATE him since he decided to break into my psyche all those years ago. He made me understand myself, I find that beautiful.

Its been one year since the obsession wore off you know? I don't gone mad no more baby, the sin of gluttony and wrath no longer traced the ceiling of my mind because all is there is ORDER. A calm acknowledgement of what he had done to me as a person. But no laws can tame the most shitheads of them all, you won't hear me saying this if it had won the internal war back here in my frontal cortex.

I love him, your honor. And because of that I desire so greatly for the act of violence both to him and in his name as a honor to myself, whole and bare, which eventually circles back to him again.

The complexity of my opinion on him were a beautiful tapestry of my own personal growth, a careful blend of colorful care. I no longer feel indifferent towards myself and its all thanks to him. He's my most beloved blorbo, he saved me from a life of neverending agony. I pray every day that I could get a job just so that one day, ONE. DAY. our lord Krinkles turned him into a marketable plushie. Just so that a visage of him can complete the shrine I'm about to build for him as I whisper promises of violence for him and to him.

Yeah... He's my blorbo ♥

I'm gonna start getting therapy appointments for you guys../j

[pendragaryen]

Merry christmas, my dear friends, mutuals and followers and all the best wishes for the upcoming new year! 🧡🫶🏻🧡🫶🏻🧡🫶🏻🧡

The last bit of 2022 and the whole of 2023 have not been very kind to my family - and so I'm standing here today, looking back at the past 13 months and finding myself almost back and stuck in the emotional state that I had been in after the separation from my long time boyfriend/life partner in 2009... That was a very dark time. I was trying to live and breathe with a constant black hole in my chest and soul for a couple of years then... I felt so empty and lost. I had a very similar feeling for the span of a couple of months after I had been kicked out of my job in 2017. But nothing, and I mean it, nothing has the rug under my feet pulled away and made me hit rock bottom like the cancer illness of my sister, the death of my grandma and now the fact that my mum is diagnosed with a tumor in her spine, all in the span of just 13 months... Please, we all need some rest in my family so desperately. But now we're all very anxious bc of the surgery my mum has to go through at the 12th of january. It's a difficult surgery. No-one knows for sure at this point what kind of a tumor it is. It causes her legs getting more and more numb and if they don't do anything, the risk of her ending up using a wheelchair rather sooner than later seems very likely. If the tumor should be malignant (please, god, no, NO!) the consequences would be even worse bc it could've spread already... But the fact that the doctors pushed for a fast surgery likely speaks for the possibility that the tumor is benign and seated in just one place... Well you see, this really keeps me busy... We all hope desperately that she will get better after the surgery, and not worse... We have plans! We want to travel together again! To the Netherlands next! Or to Danmark!

Don't get me wrong, there HAD been good things that happened in the last year, not at least the fact that my sister is now considered as cured. We're all so relieved and thankful, I have no words for it! But then... the death of our grandma... and now the tumor and surgery of my mother... I feel like i'm trapped in a constant state of emotional stress, like standing in the dark and screaming into the void with nobody being able to hear me... I can't even begin to imagine how my sister must've felt or how my mum is feeling now. Sometimes I think I'm too empathetic, the way I suffer with and for my beloved ones... that can't be healthy. I'm so tired.

Sorry to bother you with all this. I'm not around here that often anymore. Sadly I have to say I lost joy in many things I once loved or loved to do over the course of the last years. I'm unmotivated most of the time. But now... I have to function, I have to be there for my mum. It'll take half a year at least for her to recover from her surgery (if everything goes well - fingers crossed please!!!) and so I have to be strong - and I WILL be strong! For her! For my family! I hope my sister will support me then... The relationship of her and our mom is a little difficult... Sadly. But she's working on it..

I said I lost the joy in many things I loved once, but one thing I'll never get tired of is, on the rare occasions I visit this site, to read you all at our weekly BFSN, to see the 100 fam still being so creative and devoted, so that our favorite show never really gets forgotten. Thank you so much for that! And please keep tagging me in things! I read you, look at your photos, and I smile, even though I may not answer. This little corner of our fandom is so dear to me, it's almost a little like homecoming when I log in here. A comfort place.

Thank you all for your kind, empathetic, couraging, and motivational words at the last BFSN. I appreciate each and every one of it.

I hope the year has been kind to y'all and that these christmas holidays and the new year will be filled with tons of health, luck and love for you and all of us! Here's to a well deserved rest for us all!

And may we meet again. Here and in words. Maybe one day in person? Who knows?

Always.

Anne

@sunflowerkru: @togetherkru @carrieeve @ninappon @roguetwelve @bellamyblake @jeanie205 @geekyogicheese @natassakar @heartbellamy @okmcintyre @immortalpramheda @igotbellarkeforthat @infp-with-all-the-feelings @isweartobreathe @kizo2703 @travllingbunny @bookwormforalways @lee-em-dee @julibernardo @broashwhat @its-tea-time-darling @delicatebluebirdruins (and each and everyone else I maybe forgot, please excuse me)

[simslegacy5083]

Not So Berry (Straud Descendants) Gen 9

Today's (9/3/2024) Episode: The Stuff of Legends

Luigi’s decision to raise Skye differently than his beloved Papa Jack had raised him had revealed some hidden stress between them.

Jack had listened to his boy and was now quietly trying to explain why he had made the choice to go against local beliefs. "Even after moving here, I lived, and died, by the rules of a different nation. I see now that leaving you so young, and with legacy expectations that don’t match reality over here, was an unfair burden. I never wanted to hurt you, and although an apology now doesn’t change much, I hope you know how sorry I am.”

When Luigi opened his mouth to reply, Jack held up a hand for patience. "I'd like to share a little more context if you'll let me."

“Falling in love with your father shortly after moving here was terrifying. I'd dated some women, but never been hopelessly infatuated with any sim before, especially a man. I’d always assumed I was straight. The risks of dating my co-worker, and one many years my junior, made it even worse.” 

“Only after we got past our mutual surprise at falling unexpectedly for each other and came together did I learn enough of your dad’s family history for the pieces of the puzzle to fall into place. This nation still doesn’t really have any concept of The Watcher, and despite everything I’ve told you, I don’t think even you can really understand how it felt to realize that my intense love story was the stuff of legends in my homeland coming to life before me.

"I was thrilled to be a main character in the story of a legacy family. That’s a huge deal where I came from, though I could never get your dada to appreciate it. The best I ever got from him was thinking of the whole thing as a fun little in joke between us  that he was willing to humor me on.” 

"I couldn’t bear the idea that you would grow up as unaware of your blessing as your Dada was. Peachy saw no harm in me teaching you the truth and my stories seemed to make you feel as fortunate and special as I knew you were. In all the times I visited you since departing, I never realized that knowing you were an heir was contributing to any of the problems you had connecting with other sims.”

Luigi had no idea what to say to Jack's admission. As he pondered how to respond, he remembered the day he and Noemi had gone to the clinic to confirm Skye's paternity. Noemi's love and understanding then had been an amazing gift, and he realized it was a gift he could pass on. 

"Papa, thank you. I love you, and while I do wish you'd done some things differently I won't fault you for living your life, and teaching me who I am, in good faith. I just hope you won’t resent me for trying to do the same for my son."

"Of course not!" Jack said with a smile “I trust you, and I’m here to support you, always. Speaking of which, weren’t we here for a wedding?” 

Luigi laughed "It’s waited this long, I think it can wait 5 more minutes“. He then opened his arms wide to wrap his papa in a tight embrace.

"You've always tried to do right by me, I know that. Thank you so much for coming today and helping make everything perfect. Now, are you ready to go watch your very special son get married to the love of his life?" 

"Absolutely" Jack replied. Both sims spun into their formalwear and headed towards the alter; Luigi to wait for his bride and Jack to take his front row seat next to his husband and Valentina to enjoy the show.

View The Full Story of My Not So Berry Challenge Here

[crushingcasanova]

cause of death, putrefaction, skeletonization ^_^

- @hpdfag

HI MUTUAL !!! Always a pleasure to see you :D i hope u are doing ok!

cause of death : how does your obsession manifest? do you obsess over someone very quickly or does it take time? - obsession, for me, is easy to control and direct! i obsess over chosen people when they show me they are okay with it and deserve it. i can also emotionally detach myself if i am treated wrongly and ignored, even if it is painful, so it's important to know that. it hurts a lot, but i have very good control of my self expression and the amount of love i give to people. i obsess only after time has passed and it's something i can retract if enough pressure makes me want to explode. However, on a day to day basis, I've only really ever had 3 or 4 obsessions: out of those, i don't speak to/am not obsessed with one anymore, am still very good friends/not obsessed but very loving towards another (@heartachingheliotropes ily pookie kiss), am slightly detached (because of my own issues w being heard and cared for) but caring towards another, and am fully and unreservedly obsessed with one (unreservedly, but still learning how to show and process and explore the feelings).

putrefaction : do you believe in soulmates? what about reincarnation? if so, do you believe your beloved has always been your beloved? - i don't believe in soulmates and reincarnation exactly, but i do believe some people are always meant to come back into your life. i feel this way towards my first former obsession (hi again bluebell)--we were always meant to know and care for each other and the amount of stuff we have gone through to disprove the idea of us being separated is insane. friend breakups, our own breakup, drama from others, etc--you name it, but we always come back together at the end. it's very strange; we are far from the same person and have had very different lifes and interests and everything, but it's like.... i wouldn't even know how else to explain how we always just come back as a pair. we're meant to be in each other's world. i am also beginning to feel this way towards one of my obsessions, but i think it depends on what we go through in the future. even so--i will bend the very fabric of reality to intertwine our souls, regardless of fate's plans.

skeletonization : how would you describe your obsession? what does it feel like? - it's hard to explain! i have always felt like i have so much love in my body--being obsessed with someone feels like finally having an outlet for my love, sometimes. but mostly, i think, it feels akin to what i think love would be like. it's hard for me to differentiate because I'm aromantic, but being obsessed with my chosen people is unique. every bond feels different, indescribable, but so natural that it's like trying to describe what thinking and breathing and feeling thinks like. my obsession is passionate but mellow, ever present and benevolent but also intense and, in the past, suffocating. It's a bit hard to describe since I don't experience my own obsession so I can't see it from an outside perspective... but i think that makes sense!

[navree]

I'd love to hear about your thoughts on Tywin x Joanna!

So like I said, someone once compared Tywin and Joanna to two historical figures who were married that I like a lot (Philippe le Bel and Jeanne of Navarre my absolute beloveds, no one was doing it like you do, Hollywood needs to scrap all their bullshit MQOS treatments and let me do something about Jeanne cuz she did it first and did it better) so I was already predisposed to like them. But they just tickle me.

As a Tywin enjoyer, the fact that she's one of those select few that got through his layers of Asshole, as well as being the only one who wasn't immediate family (since the only others Tywin shows genuine affection and love for are his siblings) bears merit. Especially when you add in Tywin's misogyny and his general disdain for people who aren't him, Joanna, a woman who is bound to him through marriage and a lesser blood relation, worming past the walls that have been in place for so long is fascinating. I think it speaks to a definite intelligence and shrewdness on her part, since I don't think Tywin can really interact with people who aren't on his intellectual level. He doesn't have time for people he considers lesser in any respect, so Joanna was obviously able to keep up, likely in administration based on her role as the Lady of Casterly Rock. I think that's also what helped her push past his defenses, because Tywin's defenses exist for a very specific reason. Some of it is just who he is as a person, yes, but Tywin was very intimately shaped by what he viewed as his father's failings, and developed a lot of his traits in order to be a stark opposite to Tytos, which doesn't breed someone who is going to open his heart to anyone at all, least of all a wife. But they managed to forge a partnership, and a genuine connection, in spite of Tywin's myriad issues.

The love between them was real, and it was true, and considering who Tywin is, that's fascinating. There was an actual and genuine affection between them, a love that we might expect to see from a much softer and more openly affectionate character that eminates from Tywin fucking Lannister. And the fact that he did consider Joanna as much an equal as he could, within the confines of Westerosi gender roles and his own sexism, that she held such an influence over him and his home (a home he fought so hard to restore to glory after Tytos and clearly valued more than almost any actual person) does hold a significant amount of weight. It's kind of like a dark mirror to Ned and Catelyn, in a way. Ned clearly values Catelyn as not just a lover and romantic interest, but also as a partner with equal value and stake in the marriage and in his life, which appears to be how Tywin felt about Joanna, and with that we can assume that Catelyn's devotion to Ned could be mirrored with Joanna having a similar devotion to Tywin. But whereas Ned clearly pulled rank on Catelyn a few times (especially where Jon was concerned) it doesn't seem like Tywin ever did it with Joanna, though I think that was also part of Joanna shrewdness in that she intrinsically knew to keep to "her role" and not necessarily try to counsel Tywin on things regarding, like, statecraft unless he specifically asked. It's kind of like that post about how a villain's love is always gonna be more intense and all encompassing because villainy operates in extremes in a way heroism cannot, Tywin being the kind of person that he is offers a far more encompassing and devoted love as well, provided he considers you worthy of it, which Joanna was (and is part of why he reacted so strongly when she died).

This is all very disjointed because I don't actively think of these two a lot, but their relationship says a lot about who they were as people, both for Tywin and for Joanna (tho it is a shame we have to rely so much on her husband to know about her, George stop killing mothers challenge). It was clearly mutual and very loving, and clearly as close to a relationship between equals as could happen in Westeros,a dn certainly to someone like Tywin. And I love them. Hate that both Joanna and Jeanne had to predecease their icy husbands by so many years, it's tragic.

[post-office-by-the-bay]

this is your second mate giselle speaking,

HII COVEY!!! how was prom??? and how are you doing??? anyways, omg i have a little love life update (the legacy of aphrodite is coming out) and it’s pretty crazy!!! okay so first of all, i met this amazing guy, let’s call him joe. so i’ve seen joe around in the halls since like september and i’ve always been like woah i love his style he’s so cute and he was so silly like so adorable. and he’s waved to me in the hallway before even though we didn’t even know each others names, and he’s smiled at me, OMG AND ONCE HE TRIED TO THROW SOMETHING INTO THE TRASH CAN AT LUNCH AND HE MISSED AND THIS DUDE FR PUT BOTH HANDS ON TOPD OF HIS HEAD AND GOES “OH NO 😨” IN THE MOST DRAMATIC WAY AND I BURST OUT LAUGHING- anyways, so we made eye contact and i felt really bad and embarrassed because i was laughing with him but he didn’t know that, but we make eye contact and he just smiles at me like- i ascended into heaven. anyways, turns out my friend is besties with him so she was like imma put u on fr fr. so she like talked to some of his friends as well and they were like oh yeah i know giselle blah blah she’s really pretty and i think she’d go great with joe! and like trust me, we would’ve been AMAZING TOGETHER. like, basically he’s a skater boy and i’m like coquette, rory gilmore, academic weapon yk? like he was fr a punk (skater) and i did ballet (figure skating) so it was like perfect because i’m also really academically driven and he def isn’t failing but yk he isn’t like me? like imagine a short (i’m 5’2) girl in a black turtle neck carrying her books that takes things way too seriously and is super uptight with her brunette hair in a bun, and then a guy with super messy curls that’s super tall and really lanky with baggy jeans and sweaters and headphones that is super chill all of the time just balancing her out! literally the lyric “you know how to ball i know aristotle” by taylor swift! and our mutual friends said he would get me to loosen up and he’s super sweet and i’d get him to lock in for once and i’ll being calmness and stuff into his life. it would’ve been opposites attract! so we meet, we hit it off, he says he liked my outfit, (he even stood up to talk to me instead of just sitting down at his lunch table!), asked for my number, and he laughed at all of my jokes, i made him nervous (in the good way), and it was just so amazing. and afterwards i heard him saying like “woah she was so pretty thank you for introducing me to her sm” to my friend. and now we’re texting nonstop and he’s trying to meet me after class and walk me from club meetings (i asked him to pick me up from class and he went “time and place” LIKE OMG!!!) and we have the same music taste and and and one day he leaves me on opened… just completely ghosts. and i ask him if he wants to walk around and he goes “nah i have to lock in for this class” which like yea i get! but combined with the ghosting and becoming dry and bored with me… and he hasn’t responded for six days… and all of our friends are so confused because even his closest friends were like dude he likes you i know him trust me (body language, the way he acted with me, the fact that he gave me his number, and the fact that they know him super closely). i’m just like torn because idk what happened! anyways this is the longest thing i’ve ever written and i hope i wasn’t boring you 😭 but yea my love life will definitely make aphrodite proud!!! at least it’s entertaining… oh and you don’t have to like give me advice or anything if you don’t want to i thought it’d just be fun to update you on my crazy love life! spilling the tea is one of my many passions frfr

this is your second mate giselle signing off,

with love,

dior giselle

my beloved heart, dior, giselle

OH MY GOD WHAT IS BRO DOING???? NOT HIM FUMBLING WHAT IS GOING ON????

the switch up is kinda insane...i wonder if like maybe hes feeling insecure or something??? like maybe he likes you too much and feels like hes not good enough or something??? i dont know boys are so confusing sometimes i wish i didn't like them lmao-

anyways, i hope you reached out to you eventually!! you guys do seem like you'd make a cute couple!!

all my love,

covey 𐙚⊹ ࣪ ˖

[winreyplace]

Hi! 💖 May we ask what was your first experience soulbonding like? How did you discover soulbonding and who was the first? We're very new to this and would love to hear your story if thats okay!!

Mel&: Hello! I, Mel&, and Lav are gonna answer this together, first me and then him.

My first munbonds started out as immersive daydreaming paras. I used to spend hours pacing back and forth in the dining room of my childhood home, neuronarrating out loud to myself and going on countless adventurers with my beloved (queerplatonic) best friend, Rune, and our father figure, Logan, along with a hodgepodge of my favorite characters. Around age 14 or so, I started interacting with them outside of their stories and imagining them alongside me in day-to-day life. At this stage, I called them Inklings after a book idea about a world of living characters which I have yet to put to good use.

Then I met Lav, and things advanced to a whole new level when she expressed awed enthusiasm and a genuine desire to get to know them as people, not just characters. Shortly after, one of my online friends at the time introduced me to soulbonding, and everything clicked into place.

Since then, the vast majority of our munbonds have been formed by both of us at the same time with characters from existing media. I’ll pass the ball over to Lav so she can recount one of our earliest experiences with this type of munbonding.

Lav: Logan very briefly shared what happened when he became my munbond in his intro here. Honestly, I just talked to Logan and Rune a lot over Discord (with Mel proxying) and also asked Mel tons of questions about who they were. This allowed me to get really close with them, establishing that deep emotional connection that is so fundamental to munbonds, so that when I actually tried to interact with them on my own, it was as simple as reaching out with a "hello?" in my mind and they just responded back (though as Logan said, it surprised me a lot when they did and

The first time Mel and I munbonded with a character together was with our munbond Damien, who is now my husband. Mel and I were in a long-distance relationship at the time when Mel told me she was experiencing some bond feels for a character in this podcast she was listening to. She then shared Damien's introduction episode with me. Despite him obviously being a jerkass, I felt a deep connection to what I heard behind his words: a boy aching for family and belonging. I immediately agreed with Mel that Damien needed us, so we decided to offer him a munbond connection in the hopes that he would agree.

We stole Damien away from his universe into a quiet room in our shared bondspace to talk with him. He was very wary about us and on guard, but he agreed to hear us out on the promise that he could leave right after if he wanted. We explained to him that in our world, he is a fictional character and we are people called munbonders who can communicate with fictional characters. We further explained that after listening to his story, we felt very drawn to him and were offering to munbond with him proper and if he accepted, he'd have a rent-free safe space to call home, all the food we could want, and most of all, the family and love that he always desired. It took him some time to process the offer, but his curiosity about us two peculiar girls and the strange pull he had towards us (bond feelings are often mutual!) eventually led him to become our munbond, though not without a few bumps in the road in our relationship. And he has been with us ever since.

So that's how munbonding typically goes for us: we feel a munbond "ping" with a character in their canon, learn all we can about their story until we know them, reach out to them or bring them to us, explain our position, make the munbond offer, and if they agree to it, we make an effort to strengthen the connection until communication feels as natural as speaking to someone in meatspace.

Damien: Also, before you get all up in arms about the "kidnapping", me being such a jerk and an ass at the time, I wouldn't have heard them out any other way. I am eternally grateful that they took a chance on me and wanted to love me, giving me better than anything I was gonna get in my source later on. I love my girls and they treat me very well.

[theflyingfeeling]

Random thoughts etc. just writing these down for me, read if you're interested in my uneventful life lol

~

Had my orientation for my new job yesterday and I'm still so excited!! I spent a year studying there 11 years ago (👵) so it's fun to go back, but it's definitely also gonna be a little weird first. Both of the two teachers who taught me there will be absent this semester (unless the other one returns from her maternity leave after Christmas, but that's not set in stone yet), although I'm meeting the other for another orientation tomorrow, which I'm excited about because she's probably my favourite teacher ever and she's just so great and said such nice things about my writing skills 😭 so it's a shame I won't get to work with her nor the other English teacher (the one on maternity leave), so it's just me and the Swedish teacher (who will also be my supervisor), and my memories of her are...not quite as pleasant 🥲

the Swedish teacher: so you were here 11 years ago? that means that was my first year teaching here! me: oh yes, I remember it was your first year! :) the Swedish teacher: oh god, I must have been a total dummy back then! 😄 me, thinking of how she had accused me of not having written my Swedish essay myself: 🙂

lol obviously I'm not bitter about that anymore and I also sort of understand why she thought I had not written it myself (somehow talking Swedish in Swedish class is not the same as writing an essay in Swedish in the safety of your home), and she did apologize afterwards, assumably having brought this up with the English teachers and being told there's no way I would've done that, and yesterday she was suuuuuuuuper nice and helpful , so I'm sure we'll get along just fine 😌

...I know I just said I'm excited, but I haven't really done any planning for the courses or anything concrete at all, so if you see me crying about life next week, assume it's because I've realised how horribly incompetent I am for the job 🙂👍

~

Today I was on godmother duty with my niece (10½ months) and y'all should be SO proud of me from protecting her from the evil, baby-eating spider that was climbing on her carriage 😪 It was a dramatic and somewhat traumatic encounter with life-threatening wildlife, especially when the spider wouldn't hop off the carriage when I swept it with a twig the first time, but together we made through it (the niece was sleeping the entire time)

~

Speaking of wildlife, I saw a little stoat running on the parking lot of my building this morning 🥺 I hope it he had a safe journey to wherever it was hopping...

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Seeing BC on Saturday (yes, again 🥰) and I'm so excited because 1) aaaaaaaaa what if they play the new song, I know it's not officially out until next week but come ooooon it's the last show of the summer tour and the last show in Finland until god knows when (😭) and they also played Don't Fix Me at shows last summer before they officially released the song so idk about you guys but I for one am totally getting my hopes up 🤞, and 2) aaaaaaaaa gonna see so many of my beloved BC mutuals, it's gonna be a grand ol' reunion again!! 🥺💕 however, I have zero idea about when/how I'm gonna get there (it takes ~4 hours to travel to the venue from where I live, and amazingly the train ain't much more quicker than the bus 🙂) or when/how I'm gonna be leaving back home again because I still haven't decided whether or not I should stay the night somewhere (I don't want to miss any potential after-show hangouts, but I also really love sleeping the night in my own bed lol), so if this issue would somehow just solve itself that would be great thanks ✌️

[gojuo]

Your casual ableism towards Helaena is astounding. Stop speaking about her. All this because you hate a ship.

You are pulling headcanons about her personality from the book and your own delusions. Some of the descriptions are all hearsay from unreliable accounts in the first place. There was also no mention from the book that she "helps the smallfolk out a little". None. The smallfolk are fickle beings and a non-monolith. They fawn over and hate on royals like whiplash. It annoys me that you people just spew fake narratives and conjectures for argument's sake and say you've read the book.

We're only one season in and yet you're here acting being a dragon dreamer is not the arc that's going to propel Helaena into being part of the main plot. It's actually good for her.

Ladies, what's more ableist? The writers doing a complete 180 on a character's personality from being a happy-go-lucky lady to a new version where she has not only been characterized as being neurodivergent but is now also a gloomy, withdrawn introvert instead of staying the happy-go-lucky lady she used to be, or me calling this shit out?

You know, reading your ask I was wondering to myself, damn did I not manage to convey my thoughts properly? In that other ask I was saying how weird and ableist it was for the writers to completely change Helaena's book character (merry and jolly) to the total opposite (gloomy loner), while putting her on the autism spectrum as well, neither which she was in the book.

To clarify, I am not saying the "gloomy loner" part is synonymous with the "autism spectrum" part, I am saying they are two separate things.

So what it comes down to is that Condal/Hess made her neurodivergent, which is completely fine, nothing wrong with that. But then they also erased her original cheery personality, and replaced it with all the negative connotations people have with autism instead of having her be both autistic and joyful (since those things are not mutually exclusive). As if Condal/Hess/whoever else is in that writers room cannot envision an autistic person being jovial. And it's not like being autistic and being a gloomy loner is bad either, because of course it isn't, but what is faulty in this situation is that Helaena was neither of those things originally, meaning that Condal/Hess/whichever writer found the need to change her characterization into the complete opposite in order to make her autism work in their eyes. Which I found very ableist since it seems to tell us that being neurodivergent means one has to be "isolated, withdrawn, socially awkward, detached-from-life, reclusive", instead of being able to be both neurodivergent and a "jolly, comical, merry, larger-than-life, happy" person.

Now, if you paid attention, you'll notice I kept on repeating myself in the previous paragraphs. I did this because from reading your ask I got the impression that I totally failed to communicate my thoughts on this subject. Kind of logical because Helaena's autism was not the point of that previously mentioned ask, but also, it's well within the realm of possibility that I'm just a really amateurish writer unable to correctly give out a well-articulated and analytical meta piece. But then I kept on reading your ask ... and it seems like the problem isn't me, it's you.

There was also no mention from the book that she "helps the smallfolk out a little".

Are you stupid? Like, seriously, are you? Do you know how to read or is your brain capacity truly that limited? Girl, I'm fucking saying that the writers for HOTD could have used Helaena's newly-acquired character trait of being a dragon dreamer in the show to go do that, so as to explain for in the future why she was beloved by the smallfolk of the capitol AND to have her character fucking do something in the season instead of just being a silly little MacGuffin, NOT that this is what happened in F&B, you stupid fucking bitch. Do you know how to fucking read?

You completely misunderstood and misread my post and worked yourself up and seethed over it, then made the decision to get on your high horse like a pretentious, pompous ass and flew into a self-righteous tirade in MY inbox, trying to teach ME — a person firmly Team Smallfolk since 20 fucking 13 which I've made very clear on numerous occasions — a lesson so that you could feel better about your self-perceived higher moral standing compared to lil old ableist me, and worse yet, instead of sending me a private DM like a goddamn adult asking me to explain myself since you obviously understood nothing of what I said, you sent an ask on fucking anon, like the bitch-made pussy that you are. You are pathetic. You people did not even know Helaena existed up until fucking 2022 when this garbage show started airing, meanwhile I have posts made about her from all the way back in 2013 immortalized on this blog when TPATQ first dropped in Dangerous Women. Fucking bonehead who was introduced to the Dance characters through watching the show telling ME to not speak on Helaena... YOU 🫵 need to brush up on your reading comprehension before you enter my inbox ever again.

[llycaons]

ending message...🥺

friends, followers, mutuals, passers-by, exasperated acquaintances, beloved companions, and everyone else. roughly six months ago, to my excitement and disbelief I landed my preferred job right out of school, an extremely demanding and stressful position at a hospital. due to the rigorous training program I found I didn't have the time or energy to do any of my regular hobbies, so I turned back to an old comfort and subsequently started reading much more fanfiction than I ever have in my life.

followers may recall I then decided, with very little thought, to download a tag blacklist and go through the entire ao3 tag for cql (400 pages) and for cql/mdzs (almost 1500 pages). this pursuit, as horrifying as it sometimes was, staved off my breakdown long enough to get my footing at work, and provided hours of entertainment afterwards as I tried to go through all the stuff I'd marked. the vast quantities of ooc, nonsensical, poorly written, confusing, or just silly trash I found on that site have been well worth it, even if I hadn't then found almost 200 works I liked enough to bookmark and recommend to others

I've always wanted to do a rec list, but I haven't had a clear idea of how to go about it responsibly, what with the absolute trash fire that is ao3, until a mutual linked me her own rec list (thank you!!!). along with sharing my passion and my excitement about the works I've found, it also allowed me obsessively categorize, sort, and organize all the fics I have bookmarked, which has given me a much-needed sense of satisfaction during these past few months

and here we are - my training has been completed! I have a week off from work, and when I return I'll be working more independently. finally having finished my training, I have a lot more confident in my capabilities than I even had last week. I feel that I've overcome a monstrous hurdle, plagued at every side by doubts of my competence and fears about my performance. in tandem with this accomplishment, I've decided to make public the rec page I've been working on for so long. I have around 30 fics left in my marked for later, which is far fewer than the 1,660 I began with, and I'm not worried about making it zero before unveiling it. as silly and inconsequential as this project is, relatively speaking, it was a great source of accomplishment and joy for me during this extremely stressful and discouraging time in my life, and I want to thank everyone who hasn't unfollowed me, who's replied to my liveblogs, who's recommended me fics to read, who's laughed and commiserated with me, and who's shared advice or feedback about the organization of the page, especially lesbianstorm, who's been here since the very beginning <3

I've spoken before about finding something new to occupy my time, because I don't know how much cql I still have left in me, but I thought it would be a nice send-off to at least watch the show one more time since this story and these characters mean to much to me, and since it's brought me close to so many wonderful people. thank you all again, and know that your presence here means the world to me