#spc fanfic

[crusheswhimsandfancies]

Happy Halloween from SPC Varney🧛🏻

Warning: smut below the cut😜

She gasped as he pushed her knees down gently to the sides, looking at her like a vampire about to feed. His tongue felt incredible, applying the perfect amount of pressure and she squirmed and writhed in orgasmic delight as he brought her to a climax. He came up for air, she gazed down between her legs and ran her hands through his slightly disheveled hair, freeing his dark curls from the hair product applied several hours ago. She noticed the skin around his mouth and nose glistened with moisture in the moonlight. The reflective material of his police uniform caught the light as he moved his head up from between her legs and came up level with her. He tilted his head into her neck and placed frenzied kisses on her skin as he unzipped his trousers and released his desperately hard cock from his clothes. The kisses on her neck turned to a sucking sensation as he positioned himself between her legs. She adjusted herself to wrap her thighs round his still fully uniform-clad torso and she felt his length enter her, slowly at first, until he could not hold back and then she felt a sharpness on her neck. His teeth penetrated her flesh as he fucked her. She felt light-headed, exquisite sensations of pain and pleasure mingling. He cradled her head and held on to her body as his thrusts became more urgent and his mouth on her neck feeding feverishly. She felt him drain her and knew she was his for all eternity.

[yanderebrahms]

i’m not a person who judges what ppl read fanfics on but spc reader insert fanfics are a new low and i must tell you how close you are to hell if u read them.

[gatoraid]

The day has come!! ”Take his memory to your grave”, the Ouyang/Baoxiang fanfic written by SPC themself is finally officially out for anyone to read: https://shelleyparkerchan.com/drowned-preorder-reward/

Source

[codmw2019-2022]

MW 2019 - Allied NPCs:

Mission and what group followed by Character Call Signs and Name if shown/give and the character's Status.

Fog Of war | CIA with Marine Raiders

Hammer 2-1 [ U.S. Crew Chief? ] Blue Viking 5-1 [ Gunship ] Hitman 7-1 Sgt. Hoyt (KIA) Hitman 7-2 Cpl. Davis (KIA) Hitman 7-3 Spc. Gonzavi (KIA) Hitman 7-4 LCpl. Randoff (KIA) Hitman 7-5 Pvt. Myers (KIA) Echo 3-1 Alex (Alive)

Cutscene

Charlie 2-Actual Colonel Noris (Alive) Watcher Station Chief Laswell (Alive) General Lyons (Alive) Bravo 0-6 Captain John Price (Alive)

Piccadilly | SAS with CTSFO

Raven [ Overwatch ] Saber 2-4 Sgt. Crowley (Alive or KIA) Saber 2-6 Sgt. Kyle Garrick (Alive) Trojan 3-1 Cst. Brooks (KIA) Trojan 3-2 Cst. Fowler (Alive or KIA)

Embedded + Proxy War | CIA with Urzik Militia

Vipper 1-1 [ Unmarked Gunship ] Farah Karim (Alive) Hadir Karim (Alive) Tariq (Deceased) Lina (KIA) Yasin (Alive) [ Armen, Ziryan, Hemin, Renas, Kejal, Zerya, Jorin, Rozhin, Dozan, Daryan, Erdelan ] *

Clean House | SAS anti-terror unit

[ Alpha: 1-1, 1-2, 2-1, 2-2, 3-1, 3-2, 3-3 ] *

Hunting Party | CIA with Demon Dogs

Demon 1-2 Sgt. Griggs (Alive) Demon 3-2 Sgt. Norman (Alive) Demon 3-5 Cpl. Lee (Alive) Demon 3-6 Pvt. Hughes (Alive) [ Demon: 8-2, 7-6, 7-5, 7-4, 7-2, 7-1, 6-6, 6-2, 5-6, 5-4, 5-2, 4-6, 4-4, 4-1, 3-4, 2-6, 2-5, 2-4, 1-3 ] * **

The Embassy | SAS, CIA, Urzik Militia

Jaguar 4-1 [ U.S. UAV Operator ] UK Pilot 1 (KIA) Ambassador Harris (Deceased) Assistant Stacy Davidson (Deceased or Alive) Adam (Deceased) Romeo 4-6 Mikey (KIA) Romeo 4-7 Cpl. Davidson (KIA) [ Emerald: 2-4, 2-6 | Romeo: 3-1, 4-2, 4-3, 4-5, 4-7, 4-8, 4-10 ] *

Highway of Death | Urzik Militia

Ali (Alive or KIA) Alyah (Alive or KIA) [ Ziryan, Ashti ] *

Flashback

Farah's Father Walid Karim Shadi / Shadi's Kid (Deceased)

The Wolf's Den | SAS, CIA

Lifter 1-1 [ Air Transport ] Sinner 1-1 [ Overwatch ] [ Alpha: 2-2, 2-3, 2-4, 2-5 | Crown: 6-3, 6-4, 6-5 ]

Captive

Azadeh (Alive or KIA) Darine (Alive or KIA) Ayah (Alive or KIA) [ Ghalia, Hadia ] * 2 SAS Soldiers (Alive)

Old Comrades | SAS Unsanctioned

Nikolai (Alive) Yegor Novak (Alive) Butcher's Wife Ousa (Deceased or Alive) Butcher's Son Amon (Deceased or Alive)

Going Dark | SAS

Hostages are Barkov's Family

Into the Furnace | CIA, SAS, Urzik Militia

Jaguar 4-7 [ Air Support ] [ Erdelan, Daryan, Ziryan, Yaran, Hemin, Dila, Royar, Mazar, Renas, Avdar, Ashti ] *

Spec Ops

Sgt. Kamarov ( ALIVE ) Dr. Linda Morales (Alive)

* Names are randomised for these characters since they aren't important to the plot, and because of this their status is unknown. ** There are probably more callsign numbers in between but these were the ones I was able to catch.

AN:

This post is formatted a bit differently from my other posts because I wanted it to be a bit easier to read without having change everything.

As always I hope this helps fanfic writers as well as other members of the fandom with wanting their OCs to be connected back to our favourite main characters.

[fivebecomesnone]

About this blog!

hi!! this is my fandom/art blog (my tags are below). the creatures currently inhabiting my brain are:

Cult of the Lamb! I have a lamb design called Eden (#Eden time) and am slowly expanding outward from there. AUs/designs I go wild for include:

@ xmajordumps' Kitchen Sink AU and Shepherd’s Reaper AU

@ bamsara's The Rehabilitation of Death fanfic and associated art

@ unwri-ten's whole deal

@ aveloka-draws whole deal

and a lot more that I cannot remember!

the SCP wiki, specifically:

Fifthism <333 (and TINAD/Antimemetics due to their occasional overlap)

Various neat canons, including On Guard 43, Site-666, Site-333, Broken Masquerade, & the Cool War

Various neat GOIs, including VKTM, WWS, GAW, AWCY & the SPC

Various other topics/departments, including memetics, the Fire Suppression Department & Pataphysics

Other interests that are floating around in there somewhere: (bolded are more active rn)

Stardew Valley, Slime Rancher, LoZ:BOTW

AvA/AvM

Minecraft (+ Hermitcraft)

Mycology

Aurora, Thunderstruck and a ton of other webcomics

DND

My tags:

#fuck it we draw <- my art tag

#Eden time <- my lamb design

#my star signals <- me talking or answering asks

#cotl art + #scp art + #misc art <- my art for different stuff

#cult of the lamb + #scp + #misc + other fandom tags <- more general tags

#other people's art <- self explanatory

[partof-mydestiny]

And yet again my creative flow was thrown off by Tank releasing another vlog and then SPC released the vlog from their tour, and now I truly don't know where I wanted this fanfic to go.

[starry-eyed-scott]

Unsuspecting (Dr Alto Clef X Reader)

I kind of rushed this but also felt like I spent way too much time on it. Sorry for any mistakes or if Clef isn't how you imagine. I just recently got into this fandom and also am kind of rusty on my writing.

Anyways! Here is the fanfic as per request I suppose. It's both on my deviantart and wattpad so far. I didn't want to spend the time copy and pasting it here sorry I'm lazy 🎉

[drawendo]

I love this show yal’ need to see it!

[metroid-prime-ribs]

Cryptid Samus

I know I've made posts like this before in the past, but this is my favorite headcanon so you're all gonna have to suffer more of it until I can write a proper length fanfic about it.

SO. In the era of the Prime series, Samus seems to go from being a relatively unknown bounty hunter, to the one woman army that almost single-handedly ends the Phazon War with the Space Pirates. This makes sense as Metroid Prime is only the second mission of Samus's that we get to see, and it's not really a big one. Just "There's a Space Pirate frigate out here kinda close to Zebes, orbiting Tallon IV. Go see if they're causing trouble."

The next mission we see Samus undertake is checking in on the Federation ship that lost communications on Aether. Here is where we actually get to see for the first time what other in-universe characters think of Samus.

Unfortunately, these troopers can only communicate through their log entries. One trooper in particular, SPC M. Angseth, says in her log,

"This is ridiculous. I can outshoot half the men here, and I'm stuck on monitor duty. I didn't join up to stare at a holoscreen! This wouldn't happen to Samus Aran... She'd be out there take care of business, not pushing buttons and sending reports."

Another trooper, PFC I. Crany, says this,

"Last night at chow, Angseth starts talking about some bounty hunter and how she blew up a planet full of Space Pirates. I told her I didn't believe in fairy tales like that, and she took it personal. I just find it hard to believe that one person took out an entire Space Pirate base, that's all. But if she wants to believe in this Samus, or Bigfoot, or Santa Claus, she can."

These two logs clearly show that while Samus is a known entity, her exploits are fantastical to the point of sounding like a myth or fable. I think most fans are aware of these logs by this point so I won't go on too much more about them. Instead, I'll move on to Metroid Prime 3: Corruption.

Corruption has a large number of troopers, and most of them are even alive for us to talk to! Right off the bat Samus gets hailed by the GFS Olympus and when she puts in her code on the comms, the ATC operator refers to her as Samus. Maybe they could've been just reading the name off the gunship registration. Once we land, Samus talks to a trooper at their post in landing bay 5.

The way this trooper talks to Samus doesn't indicate whether or not they believe that she is a fictional character like PFC Crany, nor do they show any admiration for Samus the way we could expect Angseth to act.

Then we get to the briefing room where Dane, Rundas, Ghor, and Samus are waiting for us.

... I'm pretty sure it's normal to have people impersonate you about 3 times in your career, right?

Either way, none of the assembled hunters, no Admiral Dane seem to have any reaction to Samus's presence. Meaning they know that she exists (reasonably, since they're kinda coworkers).

ANYWAYS

If we get back to my 'armcanon,' I think that Samus, the mysterious Chozo Power Suit wearing bounty hunter that tangles with legions of Space Pirates by herself, is regarded as some sort of space cryptid, because like yes someone capable of doing what she does makes sense. BUT, is it believable that ONE (1) person is doing it? Is Samus some kind of AI in a hyper-advanced experimental chassis? Or maybe she's a Federation bioweapon that they send out to do their most expensive and difficult bounties to keep from paying out so much money. The only people who know that Samus is a real person are the ones who directly work with her, so other hunters, the Federation, obviously the Space Pirates.

I would compare her to the way that Robert Pattinson's Batman exists to Gotham city. The average citizen probably doesn't ever have too much proof that Samus really exists, though maybe there's merchandise that the people who do see her make, and of course the Federation knows since they payout her bounties and have to get in touch with her when they work together.

I also like to think of Samus as having a sort of alter ego.

This public persona would be Sam A. an archaeologist. Someone who works with decrypting the ancient writings of species like the Chozo, N'kren, Ylla, Bryyonians, Elysians, Alimbics, and many others. She could have an office or museum or some kind of public works that help teach people the history of the stars.

On the rare occasion that she is around to oversee her space, she will slip in and give lucky viewers private tours of her personal artifact collection. Things such as rubbings of Chozo lore walls from Tallon IV, damaged busts of Luminoth (donated by U'Mos of course), and even some relics from her old missions like the Spazer beam, Long Beam, or the Omega Cannon.

I'm sure she would also run some kind of black market smuggling operation too. What better way to find and retrieve valuable artifacts from smugglers and grave robbers than to con them into stealing from herself? Then of course she'd hack their equipment to give herself five stars on Dark Yelp.*

I really want to see Samus have more of a direct role in making peoples lives better rather than just the suicidal impossible odds missions she gets in the games. And I think that could be done in a Metroid game with a more urban setting, sorta like Batman: Arkham Knight where Samus would mostly stick to a single city and be able to receive missions to track down bounty heads while piecing together a large assassination plot or something. Maybe make Sylux or some other hunters appear to give him an actual reason to hate Samus.

*The Dark Yelp thing is a reference to my close friend's EeveeNicks' "Human" series on AO3. A series about Samus struggling to move on after the destruction of Zebes and rebuilding her connection to humanity, rather than feeling like a tool of war.

[papirlife]

Blistering Love

Okay so slowly but surely making my way through Johnny’s quest line so expect these over the top analyses of my Johnny/V for each of these jobs ( I shall apologize in advance for spamming anyone’s dash but I can’t help myself). Feel free to add on your own thoughts, I love reading about wveryone’s different takes on these two.

Okay so, Blistering Love, the first step in Johnny’s journey to reconcile with his past, and make amends to the people who cared about him, so we’re emotional from the get go.

Now, in my last post regarding ‘Chipin In’, I stated that my V, who is by all means a very distant, rational person who suffers from chronic emotional constipation, had to come to terms with a lot of things which Johnny brought to the surface when he abused their trust. One of them was wondering wether or not they had made a fool of themselves by placing their trust in him after he went on a mad bender that basically left V emotionally overwhelmed, hurt, vulnerable and pissed as all living hell.

But coming to terms with Johnny’s betrayal hadn’t been the only thing that had upset V. When they had broken down after coming back to their apartment, all the pent up emotions, the grief, the anger, the hurt, everything they had suppressed had come bubbling up to the surface but in the midst of all that V later recognizes that one of the reasons they were so upset was because they were starting to feel something FOR Johnny.

(Now this can be anything from romantic love to something completely platonic and familial but in this case for my V it was romantic).

They had started to develop a romantic interest in him, they liked him, genuinely. They cared about him, his emotions, his well-being, they cared about what happened to him, and what might happen to him depending on how everything with the relic panel out.

But they also cared about his opinion of them, even if it was only subconsciously.

So to wake up and think that everything you shared with this person, everything you had been through to get to this point in your relationship, had all been a ploy, an act to make them lower your guard so that he could take advantage of them.

For V to think that Johnny had such a low opinion of them, that he didn’t have enough respect for them to blatantly disregard their boundaries and reservations despite being intimately familiar with them, had been a huge blow.

It had made V feel like an idiot, feel used, manipulated, and most importantly it had made them wonder what the hell were they thinking when they went and fell for the Johnny Silverhand, rockerboy and professional asshole.

All these thoughts had been plaguing V’s mind in the aftermath of Johnny’s bender and it had made them doubt everything, especially his promise at Pistis Sophia.

But this had been a turning a point in the relationship for V, because this episode had forced them to confront the fact that yes, they had fallen for Johnny, that they cared about him, maybe even loved him just a little, but then have to contend with the idea that he very likely knew this already and was just taking advantage of V’s vulnerability.

But V starts to doubt this claim at Oil Fields, and by the end of their talk, while the doubts are still there, their muted, more of an afterthought than a serious consideration and eventually with time, they fade completely.

Because here’s the thing, Johnny doesn’t know that V has feelings for him, they have a mutual agreement to stay out of each other’s heads even if it’s difficult to manage and that day during V’s breakdown, it was the first time Johnny had been hit with such a tumult of emotion from V’s end that he hadn’t been able to make heads or tails of it, so while V picked up on their romantic feelings for Johnny, he was none the wiser because he was barely able to process anything during the breakdown and afterwards he made every attempt to give V their space so that they could collect themselves.

Bottom line, Johnny doesn’t know shit about how V’s feeling, which is why when V hesitates in answering Johnny about letting him take Rogue on a date, he thinks that they’re just apprehensive about giving him control again (which they are) but in reality, the idea of him and Rogue isn’t sitting well with them, and they’re just a little jealous and sad, especially because it brings to mind Johnny’s comment about V not being his type, which in my opinion is complete bull, Johnny doesn’t really have a type, he just goes for whatever looks good.

Secondly, the not my type comment comes after the jacking off comment, and it felt more like we afterthought than a serious rejection. In my canon, Johnny falls for V first, but since he doesn’t understand the concept of emotional stability, he just locks everything down and thinks that if he doesn’t acknowledge his feelings, they don’t exist.

So at this point, he’s fallen for V but he’s subconsciously in denial about the whole thing and hasn’t realized it yet.

So the comment about V not being his type, complete crap, it’s just his mind being defensive and trying to deny that he’s in love with them.

Moving on, Johnny’s whole quest line is all about trying to reclaim his past, realizing that that’s impossible and instead choosing to reconcile with the people he cared about and moving on. We see him trying to reclaim his past in ‘Chipin In’ and failing miserably but then we see him trying again, this time by attempting to rekindle a relationship with Rogue. Now, Johnny/V ship aside, the whole ‘date’ with Rogue, didn’t really feel like a date, it felt awkward, forced.

There was no chemistry between them. Personally, I think it was just an excuse for Johnny to try and reclaim his past, because the world has changed a lot in 50 years and I think this whole quest line was likely born out of anxiety and panic over the fact that everything he once knew is gone, this new world is still Night City but it’s unfamiliar territory, it’s not the same.

So his quest line involves him coming to terms with this fact, accepting it and starting anew.

But anyways back to the point, V is uncomfortable with the idea of Johnny going on a date with Rogue, because while Johnny may have fallen first, V is the one who acknowledges their feelings for him and doesn’t try to deny them unlike him. Which is why they’re so uncomfortable and disheartened by Johnny wanting to take Rogue out.

But V still thinks that he doesn’t want anything with them beyond friendship, so they put on a brave face and agree to go along with his ideas dreading it but also wanting him to be happy and show that they are willing to put their trust in him again.

So they go to SPC and let Johnny have his night. He and Rogue have their moment together, but this is where it differs from canon; in the game, rogue is the one who pulls away and stops Johnny before things go too far. But in my version, it’s Johnny who pulls away much to Rogue’s confusion and unconsciously relief.

Keep in mind, Johnny might be in love with V right now, but he’s doing his damnedest to deny and suppress his feelings, even if it is subconsciously. So when he’s kissing Rogue, it feels wrong, it feels off. It’s not right.

Because all he can think about is V. All he can think about is how much he wishes they were the one’s sitting here with him watching a shitty action movie and making fun of it, that they were the one’s he was kissing.

And that’s when he can’t do it anymore, can’t deny that he’s in love with them, and he has to stop because this is wrong, because V is the one he wants, even if he can’t put that into words right now. So he pushes Rogue away, says that he can’t, he just can’t do it, can’t do it to V and Rogue realizes what’s happened, and sees that this little merc really has managed to get through to Johnny, to help him be better.

Because he loves them, because the old Johnny didn’t possess the capacity to love, but his one does and he’s learning to accept it. In a way it’s comforting, and she’s glad he’s the one who pulled away first. It seems that they both realized something that’s been eating away at them for a while, and they’re better for it.

They talk, and Rogue finally voices the words that Johnny has been avoiding these past few months,

“You love them, don’t you?”

And now that it’s out in the open, he can’t run from it anymore so he tells her yes he does. They stay like that for a while longer, just enjoying each other’s company after so many years apart, reminiscing g about the few good times they shared, with Johnny actually apologizing for how he treated her when he was alive like he was supposed to.

Eventually, Rogue calls it a night, she kisses Johnny on the cheek, and wishes him and V a good night, before leaving SPC, contented and happy to have spent time with an old friend instead of storming away from an ex-flame like she had done in the game.

Which is when Johnny takes the pills and V wakes up back in their body, groggy and disoriented and confused when they don’t see Rogue. What they do see is Johnny looking at them with this somber, soft expression on his face, like he’s seeing them for the first time after years as he explains that things didn’t work out and she went home.

V is arguably relieved, and Johnny tries to ignore the wave relief that washes over him from V’s end of their link, convinced that they could never feel the same way he does, especially after the stunt he pulled in “Chipin In” (because y’know these two are stupid and who doesn’t like a bit of angst with their enemies to friends/idiots to lovers ‘fix-it’ fanfic?).

Anyways, they talk and call it a night and Johnny desperately tries to ignore the feelings of calm and contentedness he’s catching from V, just like he tries to ignore the way his heart skips a beat when V looks at him with an adorable little smile on their face.

He hopes to god that they can’t feel it because he can still feel something sharp near their heart. Or is it him? Who knows, it’s hard to tell at this point.

[thedegenerateasexual]

do NOT laugh at me i am doing this to please myself, future me will appreciate me remembering

(ETA: this is a spoiler-free mini-soundtrack to anchor, a fanfic i wrote about chris and derek.)

part 1:

hozier - arsonist's lullabye: first scene after the prologue (this is what plays in canon yeah that's right my otp shared a frame of screen time when hozier was playing)

snow ghosts - the hunted: derek dozing off and dreaming by the fire

novo amor - anchor: the bike race

low action - everything will float just out of range: chris and derek by the fire at the end

part 2:

novo amor - anchor (ed tullet remix): derek talking about how he reached the full shift

ólafur arnalds - Þú ert jörðin: talking about victoria

glass face - holland: derek wakes chris from a bad dream

part 3:

kaleo - way down we go (stripped mix): a cave in the hills

glass face - holland: derek checking out chris's scars

novo amor - anchor (ed tullet remix): derek talking about his anchor

beyonce - haunted (instrumental): derek comes back to the motel room

part 4:

cousin marnie - cain: confrontation with kate

woodkid - iron: derek gets into a fight

ruelle - take it all: chris declines a suggestion

mona - stand by me: chris tells derek a story

cousin marnie - cain: a fight in an old cabin in the woods

spc eco - under my skin: chris waking up from being unconscious

lyves - shelter: last sex scene

novo amor - anchor: ending scene

[gatoraid]

Finished hwdtw 🤧🤧🤧 can’t remember the last time I cried as much for a book as I cried at that last chapter.

I feel physically and mentally drained now, I felt so acutely for all the characters and the things they had went through for even a sliver of happiness and acceptance and what they thought they’d have to be or do. 😭

I still have the bonus fanfic that SPC wrote as a preorder reward waiting for me, but I’ll have to process and sit in my feelings for a while before I can jump in the right mindset for that sobbbb

[transcriptroopers]

Hi! Thanks for all the work you do maintaining this blog. Can I ask about life under and shortly after Don't Ask Don't Tell? Also, I had a look through your discharge posts, but I wasn't entirely sure - how would a soldier be discharged if they were outed under DADT?

Thank you very much!I enlisted shortly before DADT was officially repealed, (which was September 2011, though they were working on repealing it in 2010) so I only had to deal with it officially for about a year, although it would be three years before I actually came out to anyone nonetheless. It’s hard to explain being enlisted under DADT. I wasn’t entirely sure what would invoke DADT’s wrath, whether they had to have proof or whether just not acting hetero enough was sufficient grounds for an investigation. I was only 19 and my sexuality was sorta w/e and I didn’t even call myself bisexual at the time because I was going through my “I don’t like labels” phase, but I got really paranoid really fast. I’m still super paranoid about looking or sounding stereotypically “queer.” I used to write fanfiction and I worried that somehow the government was powerful enough to track me down through my deleted work. I even restricted my porn to het only because I didn’t want people finding gay porn on my laptop. Sometimes while I was bored in the field or at work, I’d write slash fic in a notebook and then either burn it or flush it down a toilet so no one would find it. I remember losing such a notebook once and freaking the fuck out thinking that someone would eventually find it and read it and KNOW, but then again my handwriting is terrible and the worst that came of it was some asshole drew dicks on the sketches I’d made (why ARE straight dudes obsessed with dicks???). I guess I’m sorta lucky I’m bi, if you wanna call it lucky, ‘cause at least I wasn’t completely faking my sexuality; I was just omitting part of it.I actually knew a guy who was ballsy enough to be “openly” gay (or as openly as was possible at the time) and he even had “the voice.” I worry he thought I was a homophobe because being around him made me uncomfortable; I was convinced “they” were gonna come for him one day and I didn’t want to get roped into it. He was a nice guy though, don’t think he ever got kicked out (somehow). In basic training if we hadn’t fucked up during the week, on Sundays they let us have our phones for an hour to call our parents and tell them we aren’t dead. Shortly before leaving for basic training I actually had met a guy (on World of Warcraft, no less) and we’d been flirting, and he was still texting me while I was in basic which gave me like a million anxieties, because my phone was in my drill sergeants’ possession and like all they would have to do is just start going through it, and it was an old phone so it didn’t even have a password lock or anything. Nothing ever came from it, of course. Never texted him again actually; kinda feel bad about it.

The thing is that like, for me in 2011, there wasn’t a witch hunt or anything. DADT was on its way out at that point. It’s not like people were breathing down my neck trying to trip me up. I’m lucky I joined so late in the game because it was a lot worse back in the day. But still, it just felt more suffocating than in the real world, especially because when I first enlisted I intended to serve my full 20 years and it terrified me thinking that my entire life career could be ruined because someone found a Digimon fanfic I wrote when I was eleven. 

For me, most of my stress about DADT came from not knowing what was wrong, and the rest of my stress came from the constant paranoia and worrying about which aspect of my personality was grounds for dismissal. tbh this probably helped set the groundwork for me becoming the agoraphobic neurotic depressed anxiety-ridden loser I am today.You might consider reading this post from a few days ago regarding how people might try to kick one out for DADT. If you have a more specific question, you can always ask again! Hopefully this post answers your question and isn’t just me rambling.Edit: life after DADT for me was the same as before: say nothing, hope nobody notices you. At that point it was just easier to keep my head down, partially because there was a major election coming up in 2012 and for all I knew they were going to repeal the repeal.

-Kingsley

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[prinxietyhell]

SPC is probs my favorite fic right now. Thanks. I love/hate you. (I have a love/hate relationship with most fanfic writers though. I probably like angst too much.)

Haha, love you too! The worst is yet to come!!! ;) And I can't take all the credit!!!! My amazing coauthor is my awesome friend @analogicality-sanders, and he's honestly the only reason SPC is still ongoing, so a huge thanks to him!!! :D

[fayoftheforest]

Hey, I saw your post and felt free to ask you this:

Did you write or publish fanfics as a kid/teenager and how do you feel about them today? Because I'm scared to be too emberassed of my storys when I'm older.

Ahh I'm really sorry I haven't answered this sooner, I think it got swept up in all my notifications so I only just saw this now! Hope it reaches you :)

I wrote a fair amount of fanfiction as a kid, though it wasn't until I was 13ish that I learnt that you could publish it online. Most of it has sadly been lost amongst the avalanche of the internet, but you can still find Papercuts up on my AO3 which I wrote when I was about 15. I reread a chapter a little while ago out of morbid curiousity and it... wasn't that bad, actually. Sure, I cringed a lot, but I expect that in another three years time I'll look back on my current work and go "God, really?" I even have cringe-inducing moments like that when I reread SPC, and I only wrote that a few months ago!

But I'm okay with that, actually! It's just a sign that I've grown, and learnt more as a writer. I don't regret a single story that I ever posted, even though I know for a fact that they were poor quality. If anything, it's nice to have a record of how far I've come -- Or, at least, how far I like to think I've come ;)

So post those stories. Reread them. Decide what you like and what you don't, and then write more. Reread those, too. Watch and listen and learn from yourself and others, and then keep on chugging. Look back at your firsts and think, "God, really?" and then you can just move on. Delete them if you'd like, but I'd encourage you to keep a copy of it somewhere safe. I'm far sadder about the fics that I've lost than the fics that I still have.

Or, worst comes to worst, use a pen name like I do, so that if you ever write something you're embarrassed about, nobody has to know ;)

[ff3luneth]

☄️!!

spc m. angseth!! she was a hunter aboard the gfs tyr, assigned to wipe out the space pirates harvesting phazon on planet aether. she idolized samus aran, to the point where several crew members said that if she “wants to believe in this Samus, or Bigfoot, or Santa Claus, she can” (actual part of a trooper log from pfc i. crany)there’s a fanfic out there about samus finding the tyr with angseth alive, i think!!